Doug Loves Movies - Dave Attell, Doogie Horner, Rob Maher and Andy Haynes guest
Episode Date: October 16, 2018Live from the Improv in Washington D.C., Doug welcomes Dave Attell, Doogie Horner, Rob Maher and Andy Haynes to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premi...um. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies I'm going to fall into that crevice.
I just know it.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again
from one of the best clubs in the country,
the Improv in Washington, D.C.
Apologies already to everyone sitting on this side right here.
You're in the special side of Doug only seats,
where that's pretty much all you're going to see for the entire show.
So I'm sorry there's nothing written on this sleeve.
It's all on this side.
It's Sunday, October 14, 2018.
I'm so excited because tonight I'm seeing a friend of Doug Loves Movies, Alex Brightman, as the title character in the musical version of Beetlejuice, which is opening here tonight on its way to Broadway.
this is my dumb beetle juice joke that i wrote down but i don't think i have to say name tag three times to see them
here we go mark is bang bang right that's what i said marcus oh I see you're Marcus okay
not just Mark we got the
Rob-a-duke that's cool
good for you
Kev
Kevin side Llewyn Davis
not a lot of people having fun with the
Llewyn Davis
character that's cool
Christian with the crlewyn Davis character. That's cool. Christian with the Craigs. No ho ho.
That's what it says. That was the tagline for Christmas with the Craigs. No ho ho. Oh
no no. What's this? We got some Mike and Ike's. That's a great candy. And it's attached to a Mike Science Project poster that's laminated.
You really went all out.
You got a winter hat on already?
You're Johnny Prepared.
I know your name's Mike. It's right there on the sign.
All right. Great job, everybody.
Aunt Dan? What's that?
Aunt Dan and the Wasp.
Aunt Dan and the Wasp.
It's an art project.
You put a giant ant with my face on it and a giant wasp.
Is that your face on that?
It's a tell.
It's Steve Attell?
And then a bunch of candy.
You glued a bunch of candy to it.
So good luck to you.
I hope that works.
Doug plugs.
Doug Luggs Movies is back at the UCB Franklin in Los Angeles
for what will be, I think, a mind-blowing episode
on Tuesday, October 30th.
And then I'm doing a stand-up show and Douglas Movies
at the Punchline in San Francisco
on Halloween as part of that
awesome club's 40th
anniversary month. Wear
movie-themed costumes, as
your name tags I say.
And...
That's my idea.
And on Saturday, November
3rd, Douglas Movies is coming for the first time
to the Comedy Cellar in the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas.
That, of course, will be at 420.
And we is legal in Vegas now, you guys.
For all of my dates and deets and lakes,
go to DouglasMovies.com.
That's DouglasMovies.com!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Oh, Lord.
I knew that was going to be a good one.
You guys really...
A lot of cities, there's those errant, you know,
just people just yelling during that part
because they don't know exactly what to do,
so they're just like...
But you guys were all on it so thank you for that i brought uh some stuff for the prize bag
some foods not food but some edible no not edibles just some crap just some junk that doesn't even
have weed in it. The cookie,
I stay at a hotel sometimes where they, when you check in, they're like, would you like
the cookie? Like it's the best cookie you could possibly have. It's okay. A t-shirt
from a wonderful festival I go to every year called Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas. And it's a cool shirt, but it's a double XL.
And I'm not there yet.
I'm working on it.
But I'm also giving away
shit that's going to get me there.
Like this beautiful
bar of lint.
That's a weird name for chocolate.
Lint.
But there's a D in there, so it's not, you know,
it's not the actual lint.
This particular one is extra creamy milk chocolate.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Okay.
And this is adorable.
I got to go to the Adult Swim Festival in Los Angeles.
There's a bunch of, you know, musicians and to the Adult Swim Festival in Los Angeles. There's a bunch of musicians and stuff performing adult swim kind of stuff,
Rick and Morty, shit like that.
And the logo was this cool cat face,
and they gave out a commemorative pin of that cat face.
And I'm not a pin guy, so I'm going to put it in the prize bag,
and hopefully a pin galer guy will win it
all that plus the stuff brought by my four guests would you like me to bring them out here
uh this is one of those cases where I, you know, was sitting around backstage just now,
and I didn't write down who all the guests are.
Shit!
Just needed a quick refresher.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Doogie Horner, Andy Haynes, Rob Mayer,
and Dave Attell.
Thank you. Let's meet them individually,
starting with the man on the opposite end.
It's his first time on the program,
headlining all weekend here at the Washington, D.C. Improv,
and I'm so excited to have him.
It's Dave Attell, everybody.
Thank you very much, D.C. Improv, and I'm so excited to have him. It's Dave Attell, everybody. Thank you very much, everybody.
Thank you.
Doug,
I've been waiting
for this since 419. I really
am into it.
I brought
my 415 face, my
415 game. I'm ready to
rock. Yeah, we start our 420 show a few minutes late
because I got something else to do at that time.
I understand.
And I'm excited that you're here.
And I'm talking to you first in case you mentioned
you might need some cigarette breaks during the show.
Yes, and I also took it to the next level.
I dressed as a ticket scalper from the 90s.
So if anybody needs Blue Oyster Cult, I'll be outside.
Well, thanks for being here, dude.
And yeah, well, let me know whenever you need a smoke break.
Also joining us, it's his second time on the show.
I met him in Orlandolando but he's from this
area so he's here now and it's rob mayer everybody yeah yo big rock what's up improv
thanks for having me back on doug i appreciate it oh it's my pleasure you we had a great time
down there in florida we did it was a a good episode, right? You guys listened several times
or not.
Yeah, don't get crazy.
I'm sorry. I come out
too strong. Yeah, there's always another one of these.
They're super long. Are you guys alright with how long
they are, the episodes?
Okay, I guess I was
I knew what you were going to say.
I was just
for anybody that's listening that thinks they're too long.
You know you're wrong.
But you guys like it, so I'm going to keep doing it.
And also joining us again.
How many times have you been on before, you think?
I think this is the fourth?
I was talking to Dookie.
JK, it's Andy Haynes, everybody.
Hi.
Hi.
Congratulations, Redskin fans.
How about that?
Yeah.
All right, fuck you.
Wait, okay, so who booed?
Those people that drove in from somewhere else?
Is that why?
No, we hate the name.
You hate the name Redskins.
Okay, good for you.
The Ravens are playing right now. You're not that big of a fan it's early in the
season right yeah I'm a Seahawks fan actually we're London's team, that's interesting. No one cheered or booed the Seahawks.
Sounds like my comedy.
The mayonnaise of comedy.
Yeah, you gotta pass on that.
Nobody had an opinion
one way or the other.
But they do have an opinion about this.
For his 17th appearance on the show,
maybe,
it's Doogie Horner!
Thank you.
Great to be back.
What's up, man?
Nothing. How you doing? I'm doing good.
I'm excited that
you have a book that you
created,
Die Hard Christmas.
That's going to be like a staple now.
People are going to pick up copies of that every year around Christmas time.
Yeah.
Good thinking.
Yeah, I had a lot of people write to me, and they're like, thank you for making this.
I can't wait to read it to my child.
And I was like, oh, please don't.
Because it's just straight up Die Hard, but in a comic form.
Yeah, it's kind of a mashup of Die Hard and The Night Before Christmas.
So there's actually a surprising amount of parallels.
It's a man discovering a nighttime intruder.
And, you know.
Et cetera.
Et cetera.
Like there's one parallel.
I'm like, there's so many.
I'll just mention one.
But you know the rest
and um yeah you saw bruce willis on that roast so kind of central came out and he thinks it's
definitively not a christmas movie die hard and i your book and lots of other things to me say he
is fucking wrong yeah how would he know how would he know right who is he why does he get it decided? Who does he think he is? I'd say yippee-ki-no, motherfucker.
That's right.
Wow.
That didn't make any sense.
Totally syncs up.
I still have that no-ho-ho thing stuck in my head.
So are we fortunate enough that a copy of that book is going in the prize bag?
Yeah, I brought a copy of The Die Hard Christmas.
Yeah, pass that on over, dude.
I also have
some very interesting cats perhaps you weren't aware of.
Yeah, this cat book is
You got it already?
It's a great book about cats that you weren't aware of
who are very interesting.
And both of those
are going in the bag. What do you have for us, Andy?
I have Oliver Stone's classic, The Doors.
Wow, there were so many things you could have said after the Oliver Stone classic.
That one didn't leap to mind for most people.
Somehow this isn't in the Criterion Collection yet,
but it is the 15th anniversary edition, which was...
How many years ago?
So many.
But my parents still buy DVDs.
They see a movie once
and if they liked it even a little bit
they'll buy the DVD
and so I stole this.
Oh, that's from your parents?
Yeah.
I mean, they didn't even crack the
They don't crack many of them.
They've already seen the movie.
They didn't even break on through, break on through, break on through, break on through.
Yeah, break on through that rapping.
It's good.
For the back, the only quote they could get was Oliver Stone's finest hour, dot, dot, dot.
So the sentence was probably something about
was Wall Street.
This was his finest hour, but it's two hours long.
Exactly.
There's one fine hour in that Two and a half hour movie
Rob Mayer
What have you got for the bag?
Tough act to follow
But I got some condoms
It's a once you go white you'll still be tight
Little saying of mine
I wouldn't use them
But I made them myself
Some koozies
Shout out to my murder mystery company
Be here Halloween night.
And I've been working with David Kegner from Todd Packer from The Office,
Champ Kind from Anchorman.
He does a joke about his daughter serenading him with a recorder every morning.
And we were in Iowa, and the sound guy thought it would be funny to buy him a recorder.
And he's like, what the fuck am I going to do with this?
So I took it.
Then I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do with this? So I took it, then I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do with this?
And now it's going to you.
It's a Yamaha.
It's the YRS20B.
It's the best one.
Yeah, we don't fuck around.
So jam session.
All right, yeah, pass all that down here.
It's just like a Piccolo, right, the recorder?
It comes with instructions, which I think is weird.
Just a piccolo.
Pretty simple.
Okay, okay.
Slow down.
Okay, okay.
Back up.
Is Jimi Hendrix just a guitarist?
Yeah, really.
Yeah, give us a little something.
Yeah.
Any requests?
Something by the doors?
Maybe Riders on the Storm?
Oh, I thought...
What's the one where it's like you plug it in?
That's a piano.
Harmonic...
You plug in a piano?
That's like called a harmonicum or something like that, right?
Harmonium?
Yeah. Harmonicum. Are you that, right? Harmonium? Yeah.
Harmonicum.
Are you going to smoke out of that?
Okay.
Yep, that sums it up. This is, yes, you're going to have a lot of,
you've got a lot of learning to do if this lands in your hands,
because I would learn to play it if I owned it.
What do you got for us, Dave?
Well, sorry, I went with a theme.
So is that cool or no?
No, it's good.
First, I'm going to start off with this is a classic Bumping Mics T-shirt.
This is a show that I do with Jeff Ross where we both go on together,
and it'll be out on Netflix
November 28th, I think.
So this is the first one. I'll pass
it down. Thank you.
Sweet.
And in honor of
freedom of speech, of course,
the Ruth Bader Ginsburg mints. I think
this is the way to go.
She is awesome.
And if these mints are half as awesome
as she is, then it's quite a gift, if you ask me.
And then,
of course, since I'm old, I always have a book
of stamps on me.
So there you go.
Nice.
Once you hit 40, you gotta
have at least a book of stamps on you.
You can mail that DVD back to Andy's
parents.
Oh, so. You can mail that DVD back to Andy's parents. Yeah. Oh, man.
Those?
Put them in the bag. Come on.
You didn't read
what it says on the Ruth Bader Ginsburg
judgments. What does it say?
It says,
don't lose your appeal.
Oh.
Nice. Iron. Nice.
Ironically good.
Classic Ginsburg.
This is turning into the Capitol Steps all of a sudden.
Yeah.
It's going to be pretty political today.
And thank you for bringing all that stuff.
Somebody's going to win all of it.
But first, before we get to that, I got a question for you guys.
We'll start with Doogie.
What was the last movie that you saw?
The last movie I saw, we went to the Mahoning Drive-In
and saw a double feature, Gremlins 2.
And the actor who played Billy was there, and he did a Q&A.
What?
Yeah, Zach Galligan. Yes. He was there, and he did a Q&A. What? Yeah, Zach Galligan.
Yes.
He was there, and he did a Q&A.
It was very nice.
I tried to ask him in a nice way
if he thought Gremlins 2 sucked,
but I didn't want to insult him,
so I was like,
Gremlins 2 was different than Gremlins 1.
What did you think about that?
And he said he thought it was over the top,
although I was surprised.
I remembered Gremlins 2 as sucking at the time.
But watching it now, I was really impressed.
It's so crazy.
It's so unique.
It's kind of the Die Hard of Gremlins, right?
Whoa!
It's actually a lot like the Die Hard 2 of Gremlins.
But is it a Christmas movie?
Yeah, because Die Hard 2 and Gremlins. But is it a Christmas movie? Gremlins 2
and Gremlins 2 both have that horrific
plane crash at the beginning.
Terrorists show up.
United 93 too.
Wow.
Okay, so thumbs up to both Gremlins and Gremlins the New Batch?
Yeah, they were both great.
I was just surprised that Gremlins 2 is better than I remembered it.
Okay.
Was Gizmo in it?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, he's in the second one.
Do they have more things like, you know, don't get him wet, don't feed him peanuts? Do they have any more old things he's not supposed to do?
He can't have gluten.
Yeah.
Don't raise their self-esteem.
That'll get them to act up.
Give him a kale chip or something if he gets crazy.
That'd be a fun reboot.
There's new rules.
New rules for the gremlins
Easier ones to follow
Don't let them eat after midnight
It's rough
Because it's always after midnight
Yeah
Oh yeah we discussed that
I think it's okay once the sun rises
Yeah they're like vampires
But I don't know
Andy Haynes
What was the last movie you saw?
Well it's not funny
I saw July 22nd What? That's hilarious Andy Haynes, what was the last movie you saw? Well, it's not funny.
I saw July 22nd.
What?
It's hilarious.
You just stared at a calendar for two hours?
Yeah, that's all it is.
Is that why you had United 93 on the brain?
Because it's the same director.
Yeah, kind of.
Yeah.
And it's all about a horrific school shooting that happened where? It's not a school shooting.
It was like a UN camp in Norway.
Oh, a camp.
Oh, right.
But actually, I think it's very important to see because it brings up, and this is me not being funny at all.
I think it's a very important moment to watch this film because it talks a lot about xenophobia and the things that bring people to immigrate to other countries and then the backlash of idiots.
So watch it.
All right, it's on Netflix, I believe.
Yeah.
And you saw it that way or in the theater?
I saw it at one of those fancy WGA things.
It's pretty rough, though, right?
Is it hard to get through?
Yeah.
Okay.
You want to talk about it?
Can we do a Q&A?
What about you, Rob?
Do you have something more fun to talk about?
Well, compared to that, yeah, anything.
I saw A Star is Born.
Yes.
The Streisand version.
No.
Went to the wrong theater.
It fucking happens.
No, I saw it Friday night
it was very good
okay but for the record
not enough shooting
in that one
no
that's how I felt about it
way to the director's cut
so
but it's really good
but it's also
Bradley Cooper
and Lady Gaga
are
they're both
it's crazy how talented they are.
It's not fair, really.
It's really, he wrote the songs and directed the movie and adopted the dog.
At least he's not good looking, though, right?
What an asshole.
You know, fuck that movie.
It sucks.
Don't support them.
They're doing okay without you. That would be funny if when he really gets to work, he has to go, like, movie. It sucks. Don't support them. They're doing okay without you.
That would be funny if, like, when he really gets to work,
he has to go, like, cover all the mirrors.
I got to concentrate.
I can't look at myself.
I'm too gorgeous.
Okay, Dave, it's your turn.
Have you seen a movie lately?
Oh, okay.
Well, make me out like I'm the Make-A-Wish
kid. Yeah, I go see movies. I'm a normal person. What's going to be the last movie you ever
saw? I don't know. Is a free puppet show at the homeless shelter a movie? I don't know.
Jeez, Doug.
Well, let's see.
So many to choose from.
I saw Identical Strangers.
Did anybody see that?
Yes.
It's about three guys who were raised,
they were from their triplets,
and they were separated at birth for some kind of very scientific experiment about nature
versus nurture.
Triplets, which is also
my favorite type of porn.
It was really interesting.
It was very interesting. So I say
check it out.
Were the...
I mean, do they get
into the moral implications of somebody
deciding, hey, we want to just do this test, so we're going to separate these triplets?
Yeah, it was one of those things of how a lot of them were raised almost a couple miles away,
and they never knew they had identical siblings.
So it was that whole thing.
It was like how it would never happen now because of the web or something like that.
And at the end, they go back and murder the people that made the decision.
People decided to do that.
They go get revenge. Well, I didn't watch it to
the end.
It's more of a whodunit to me.
I mean, but...
I gave it a good 15
and then I switched over.
Alright, I got one more question for everybody.
I'll start again with Doogie and that is
it is
October. Halloween's coming up.
People love to watch
scary movies year-round but this is
an especially good scary
movie time. So I'd like each of you
to start with you, Doogie. Recommend
a horror movie.
Gremlins 2, the new batch.
Hey, come on!
It's spooky,
spooky, so...
And I also think it's so important right now
to watch this film, because it deals with...
Couldn't agree more.
People coming here that are different, and how
we react to that, and xenophobia.
How we treat
monsters that multiply
at a frightening rate.
So it's a really important film.
I love horror movies.
I go to a 24-hour marathon
every year.
It gets longer every year.
Which movie do they show?
It's The Doors?
No.
My favorite scary movie is The texas chainsaw massacre okay it's just a great it's one of those movies where it's got certain elements about it that are really good but then certain elements
about it that are so bad it makes it seem real do you know what i mean like the actors are so
untrained or toby hooper makes some strange choices that for you know what I mean like the actors are so untrained or Toby Hooper makes some strange choices that
for you know fleeting
moments make the movie seem like really real but then
he also does really good things that
you know surprise you so
that's why I think it's so scary because it's kind of
realistic but kind of not
and if you like chainsaws
hey I got good news for you
and they've remade it a you. Boom, you're in.
And they've remade it a bunch of times,
so you're saying go back and just watch the original.
Just watch the original, yeah.
The new ones are, for me, they're a little too gruesome.
Like, I like to be scared, not grossed out.
They're like traumatizing. Yeah, but there's something about that first one
that's just got an ickiness to it.
It does.
Yeah, the close-up of the meat at the beginning.
Ugh.
But it's still not as scary as contemporary horror.
It's too effective.
The sound design is so good.
I'm on the edge of my seat the whole time, and it's kind of unpleasant.
I like a little scare.
I know it's supposed to be the point of horror, but I like a balance.
A little scary, a little funny.
You've got to get a bigger seat.
It sounds like you also
wouldn't like the
haunted house thing where you walk through and people
just jump out every other corner.
I hate that. Yeah, because that's all it is.
It's just, we're going to jump out at you
and you don't know when it's going to happen.
And you walk along until it does.
The scariest part of that, too, is I'm like,
what kind of person does this job?
You know, like, what kind of person, this job? You know, like what kind of person,
this is their idea of fun.
Well, let me tell you why we do it.
There's so many perks,
especially these days.
You're not allowed to just jump out at people
except for there
and there's some where you have to sign
like a thing before you go in
that says it's okay that they touch you
yeah no way
that's definitely the one where Dave works
no
it's a PC haunted house
we touch you spiritually, not physically.
Andy, do you have a good rec for horror?
July 22nd.
No, Mandy.
That was such a great movie.
You like that?
Yeah.
Okay.
This is Nicolas Cage.
Towards the beginning of the movie with his wife, Mandy.
Andy, you can play Mandy.
You're so close in spelling.
Are we doing the joke?
You should say that to people when they say, what's your name?
Andy, like Mandy without the M.
Already do it.
Do you?
This is, it's like Brandy without the brrrr.
Okay, so this is
Nicolas Cage early on in that movie.
He says, knock, knock.
Who's there?
For people listening at home, that was still Andy.
Yeah, that's still Andy, you guys.
That's not Mandy, that's Andy. I you guys. That's still Andy, folks. That's not Mandy, that's Andy.
That's Andy at home.
Incredible.
That's Andy without the M.
Eric Estrada.
Eric Estrada who?
Eric Estrada from Chips.
I don't think she even laughs.
She just looks at him like, so how was work?
No, but it's kind of like the original
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
It's like that 70s weird,
like, tonal fucking bizarro shit.
There's a whole creepiness to it.
It's like an arthouse slasher movie.
Yeah, it's one of the good Nicolas Cage movies.
You know what I mean?
Like where they gave him the right amount of ketamine or whatever. Like Con Air. Yeah, it's one of the good Nicolas Cage movies, you know what I mean? Like where they gave him the right amount of ketamine or whatever.
Like Con Air.
Yeah.
Or Family Guy or whatever that one is.
Family Man? Family Man, yeah, yeah.
You like that one? Family Guy's a different show.
I don't think...
Yeah, he's
got a lot of movies with man in the title, I think.
But maybe that's why he wanted to be Superman
I can't believe the cage Superman didn't happen
that would have been so fucking awesome
what do you mean it did?
oh kick ass you mean?
what?
Teen Titans go to the movies?
how old do I look to you?
if teen isn't a title I'm going to opt out.
But I did hear it was good.
Yeah, I heard it was really good.
I heard they did a great job.
Patton Oswalt loves it.
But I think he's also a voice in it.
Rob?
The scene that's always sucked with me is when a stranger calls,
when the phone call and it's coming from inside the house.
I think it's the most terrifying thing I've ever seen.
I don't have children because of that, or a house, or a phone.
It really did a number on me.
Yeah, that's why.
Hey, too real.
All right.
I mean, I still don't even get, there was pre-cell phones,
so somehow the guy was able to pick up the phone in the house
and dial the, it would be busy if he called the house that he's in.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.
But it's such a scary concept to be like,
oh, no, that murderer is calling from in another room of the
house, but shit, doesn't make any sense.
I never thought of that. Maybe they have two lines.
Yeah, that was the thing.
Wait, but how?
It still wouldn't ring because the phone is off the hook.
You switch lines by just touching
the thing. I had different lines upstairs and downstairs.
Oh, you had like a business or some shit?
Oh, look at you.
You bougie bitch.
Oh my God.
Jesus Christ.
Look out, the murderer had to dial nine to get a line out.
Oh, fucking old phone humor.
Remember when we'd get together at the Rotary Club?
Ah, yeah.
Dude, that was off the hook.
And now they're angry.
Too far, Doogie!
Too far.
Uh, Dave?
Why am I always the last guy on this thing?
Just to give you time to, you know,
leave and smoke.
Oh yeah, I forgot. That would have been a good smoke
break for you, but
are there any movies that scare you?
There's so many great choices out there, that's for sure.
I usually like to start Halloween
early with
maybe like a
Dance Moms marathon, and then
I segue right into some of the greatest movies ever made.
And I'll say all-time classic, still gets me crazy,
have to turn the light on, is The Exorcist.
And I really do love this movie for so many reasons.
And that was the movie that made me feel really lucky to be Jewish.
So... That was the movie that made me feel really lucky to be Jewish. So, there you go.
Members of the tribe, thank you.
That was the one.
That was also the movie that gave Clarence Thomas something to say around the office.
It's true.
Yeah, he got in trouble for saying there's a pubic hair in my coke, which is a line in The Exorcist. Wow.
Yeah, right?
you got in trouble for saying there's a pubic hair in my coke which is a line in the exorcist wow yeah right um yeah that movie's crazy scary do you ever see that outtake where uh linda blair
walks like a spider yeah that's so cool why didn't that make it i don't know because they were like
you know what this is pushing reality you know this scene but that's one of the movies that i
actually got to see when it came out
with my incredibly cool parents.
They're like, let's go see this.
And we went to go see it.
Long ass lines and everything.
And then we just basically drove drunk around town.
It was like a different time.
Just another family night out.
And I'm not
particularly religious, but I do
still feel like that's one of the scariest movies.
But people who are religious are really freaked out by it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's really...
Sorry I brought it up.
Some fucked up shit.
I mean, it's no July 22.
Which is my brother's birthday.
That's fucked up.
That's the real tragedy there.
That's what really... You know, next time you're
going to go do something terrible, look at a calendar.
People have a birthday that
day. No, it's rude.
Alright, thanks for your
answers to those questions. You guys
were honest and forthright
and beautiful.
But now I say, turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
We got games to play.
Everyone else on the panel knows this,
but Dave might be surprised by the name tags
that will suddenly appear.
You guys are so shy.
Let's go ahead.
Oh, wow.
Look at all that.
Yeah.
I am surprised.
Yeah.
It's weird.
Is someone missing?
What's going on here?
Yes, they're all missing posters.
And, oh, the Alexis Chainsaw Massacre.
I didn't see that one.
And I really like my face on the Chainsaw Massacre guy.
That's a good look.
So, Dave, what you have to do is you have to pick one.
Some of them have your face on it because people figured out you'd be here.
What you have to do is pick one that you want to play on behalf of for the rest of the show.
Okay.
So just pick one that you like.
Can I go at the end then?
No, everybody just go grab one right now.
And while you guys do that, we're going to go to a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Great job.
We did it.
One of the name tags was taped some booze, Tito's.
Thank you very much for that.
That's a kind of big one, too.
It's bigger than I'm used to.
And then a Knob Creek whiskey, but I'll put that in the prize bag.
And then also somebody threw up some 7-Eleven Donettis,
and so those will go in the prize bag, too.
And then I see also there's a whole box of Dunkin' Donuts right there.
Do you mind just shoving them across like you're a bartender?
It's the Old West.
Thank you.
All right.
Now they're nice and close.
What do you got there, Doogie?
Who are you playing on behalf of?
Lar Wars.
I think that's how. Okay, okay, yeah. I got Lar Wars. I think that's how.
Okay, okay, yeah.
I got Lar Wars,
The Empire Strikes Mask.
Strikes Mask?
My last name is Massantonio.
Last name is Massantonio,
which of course begins
M-A-S-C.
Yeah.
Of course.
The Empire Strikes Massantonio.
Don't be stupid, Dookie.
Lar.
Get it together.
But lots of great guesses of who the guests are going to Don't be stupid, Dookie. Blah. Get it together. But lots of great
guesses of who the
guests are going to be
on the front,
and great job.
Oh.
Yeah.
I see Trey.
Mm-hmm.
Not here.
What do you got, Andy?
I got a boom,
boom, boom, boom,
boom.
Get it?
Because of Birdman.
Bird Ryan,
or the unexpected
virtue of ignorance,
and it's got
the Obamas on it
Trey
Tom Takar
They thought I might
get the Obamas
as guests
Do they even live
in D.C.?
They do?
No, they moved
to SoCal
They're in production
these days
Got Eddie the Eagle
on there
Why do you have
the San Diego Comedy Club on there? Because Eddie the Eagle on there. Why do you have the San Diego Comedy Club on there?
Because Eddie the Eagle is a regular guest on the show now.
And Sarah Silverman.
PFT.
Yep.
Great.
Great job.
What do you got there, Rob?
I got Katie Shack.
Oh, so much candy.
Shout out to Katie.
A lot of candy.
Some Kit Kats.
Some Reese's.
You're on here, Doug.
Your picture.
It's as if the movie starred Roddy Dangerfield, Jeff Tate, and me.
It's a great movie.
And Katie, of course, as Chevy Chase.
Of course.
And it's got the whole number is 420.
It's a long fucking course.
I shot 6,000 today.
And as a note for Doug on the back.
I don't know if I'm allowed to read that.
That'll be the shithead at the end if you don't prevail.
That'll be their consolation.
Same with you, Dave.
There's probably something written on the back there.
Don't worry about it.
I didn't get a shithead.
Oh, that happens sometimes.
Great work.
Yeah.
So hopefully you'll win today, Andy.
Probably.
Won't be a problem.
Dave, what do you got?
You got one that I spoke of earlier.
It's one of my favorites.
Well, this one's very interesting.
It's from Aunt Dan and the Wasp.
And I think I did their morning show in the 80s.
But this one, Doug, if you take a look, you're this aunt over here, and I'm this one-percenter wasp right on the bottom.
And I think this has to do with, I think it has to do with voter registration or something like that.
I'm not exactly sure.
There's definitely a message to it.
But I like the simplicity of it.
And I assume, I don't know, Dan, but I assume he has his own exterminator business.
So, and there is a message in the back.
Do you like the pumpkin shaped Reese's?
Do you enjoy that?
Well, it's not my go-to candy.
Okay, great.
Okay.
I feel already like I've lost the game.
I feel already like I've lost the game.
But you do get to keep all the candy on there if you do want it.
Wow.
Yeah.
Just for two hours of work.
Wow.
This is great.
But that's why they put the candy on there.
Not because it's Halloween month, but because they're bribing you to pick the name tag.
Oh, I see. But it also had your face on it, which is another way to go.
You guys are so clever.
Thanks for doing that. And
let's play some games. Let's do it.
Yes! Let's keep the energy.
Let's keep the
energy down. Now this first
game, Dave, is called Live, Die, Repeat.
And you're going to say,
why is this a game?
And it just is.
I'm sorry that it is.
I thought it was my career.
I'm going to say the title of a film
and then the first one of you that repeats it back
correctly in its entirety is the winner.
Yeah.
It's a game for people who aren't good at trivia
but are good at hearing words and then saying them back.
Fuck.
And just for fun today,
I've got a practice round.
Yeah, we need it.
And then the real one.
Okay, good.
Of course, this is just between the people on stage. Yeah we need it And then And then the real one Okay good Okay so
Of course this is just
Between the people on stage
Step up revolution
No
Dude
You don't know this
But I love a pre-guess
Okay
Because what if
You'd been right
That'd be so fucking cool
See Dan
Putting a mind fuck
On the other opponents
Everyone would be like
Fake news
Cause it seems rigged
Okay
Why am I looking at
Just Doogie
Gotta look at
Gotta look at everybody
It's hard not to
Alright here we go
Just as soon as
As soon as you think
You know what the title is
Just say it
This one doesn't count
Is this one for practice
And the next one hardly matters at all.
Okay.
The werewolf of London.
Sorry.
You got to go from the beginning.
You got to say the whole thing.
The werewolf of London.
No.
Okay.
The werewolf of Washington. The werewolf of Washington.
The Werewolf of Washington.
That is correct.
Damn it.
It's harder.
You did it.
I was like, we don't need to practice around,
but I think that we actually need to.
Right?
No.
That's why you've been on 19 times.
I could do this all day.
That number's not accurate.
Don't get the corrections department involved.
I have a question. Yes, sir.
Do we all say it at the same time or do we buzz in or something?
No, you do it like Doogie did. You just say it
as soon as you know what it is.
Okay.
Good thing I'm sitting about 80 yards away from you.
Right, I know.
I was at the science museum today
and you're definitely hearing it later.
Okay.
I'm putting a protest on
right now.
Make sure your mic cord isn't kinked up like
that because it's like a garden hose.
It won't.
Okay, so here's the real one.
That was just a warm up.
The Werewolf of London.
Damn it.
I mean, the movie's called American Werewolf in London.
I was a little confused.
Whoever said that.
Okay, here we go.
Sherlock
Holmes
in Holmes in
Sherlock Holmes
in Love.
Damn it.
It sounds like a good movie, though.
Because intelligence is sexy.
Am I right, Katie Shack?
Not an answer I was looking for.
No.
Watts is just frustrated every time he goes to see Holmes.
There's a sock on the door.
On the doorknob.
I liked it better when you were doing heroin all the time.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sherlock Holmes in...
Let's recap.
The first one was... Sherlock Holmes in Washington. That's recap. The first one
was... Sherlock Holmes in Washington.
That's right! Yes! Sherlock Holmes in
Washington. That's smart. That's a movie?
Yeah, he and Watson come to
Washington, D.C.
to solve a murder.
Yeah. Interesting. I don't know of
what. Democracy.
But that's what it's about.
I'll give that one two yawns.
It's an old movie.
It's an old movie.
All right.
Great job, guys.
We did.
I'm proud of us.
That was intense.
Yeah.
Easy as possible game, and we barely did it.
Barely.
Well, Rob did it. Robly. Well, Rob did it.
Rob succeeded.
Yeah, clearly.
So easy.
So Rob gets to go first in our next game.
Oh.
Yeah, and then we'll go to Andy, and then Doogie, and then Dave.
I can't believe it.
I'm filing a protest with the Olympic Committee right now.
There's some dosing going on here.
Yeah, I think you'll be in good shape, dude.
Because we're going to play, this is the first time we've played it,
Matt Fleck.
I'm great at this.
No, it's not a reboot of Matlock.
It's a game where the answer is Matt Damon,
Ben Affleck, or both.
Oh.
This is good.
So I will say,
starting with Rob, I will tell Rob the name of a movie.
He'll tell me if it's got Affleck,
Damon, or both. If he misses,
Andy gets to guess. And if
Andy misses, you can figure
it out, you guys, that the third person
is going to get a gimme
if they're into paying attention.
Which I've found some comedians are
not. But
I think you guys are going to do great.
Rob?
Yep.
Damon, Affleck, or both, the film is called Eurotrip.
Yeah.
That is Damon.
That is correct.
Yes!
Please hold your golf applause
until I say it.
That's a good one.
It was such a smattering over there.
Like the dictionary took a picture of that group of people
to put next to smattering.
Okay, he gets a point.
You're keeping score
on that piece of paper?
Yeah.
And you thought we were going to buzz in.
This isn't just my manifesto.
Wow, get with it.
How about an iPad?
What do you think, huh?
Oh, man, the battery's dead, and I don't have shit.
Doug loves paper.
I really do.
I love that trees contribute to my show.
Yeah.
All right, so we're going to start with you, Andy.
show.
Yeah.
All right.
So we're going to start with you,
Andy.
Damon, Affleck, or
both, Avengers
Infinity War.
I love how you
turn your head to
the side like a
German shepherd.
What?
I'm going to say
Damon.
It hurt a cat.
What?
Damon.
That is correct.
Hold!
Wow. Hold! Wow.
Hold your
questions. I know how
comic book rights work.
Wait, what? One of those
people plays Batman.
A DC universe.
Oh, I see.
Wow.
Talk about Sherlock Holmes
in Washington. Wow.
What time does your mom have to pick up after the show?
I know we had a full tilt nerd in the room.
It's not my mom.
It's a short bus.
All right.
So you got to start us off on this one, Doogie.
People are killing it.
Ready for the street to end Thor Ragnarok
Damon Affleck or both
is that the
I guess Damon
yes
yeah Matt Damon loves a fucking I guess Damon? Yes. Oh.
Yeah, Matt Damon loves a fucking cameo.
What does he do?
What does he just show up?
He's like, how do you like them apples?
Anyway, it's back to... No, he's...
How do you like them, Thor?
Are they good?
Okay, I'll see you later.
Bye, everyone.
It's me.
There's a scene early on where Loki is watching a play about his own life,
and Matt Damon plays Loki in the play.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's really weird.
I know.
But you didn't question Damon in Infinity War.
I did question that, too.
I thought that was odd.
He and Alan Tudicks are country bumpkins, and they both get murdered.
That's in Deadpool.
Deadpool 2.
Deadpool 2, that's right.
Holy fuck.
Wow.
Thank you.
You're the winner.
Thank you.
Does my point still count?
All right, so whose point do I have to take back?
No, don't.
No.
I need this.
My mom.
All right.
Hope I don't fuck up more.
So, oh, Doogie got that one.
Okay.
Here you go, Dave.
I'm going to blind bet.
Ready?
Yeah.
I like it.
Joaquin Phoenix.
Why not?
Hey, man, we're going to play hard.
You can play anything.
Dave, Mystic Pizza is the movie.
What?
Yeah.
Mystic Pizza.
Hold on.
Let me get into my time machine.
Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, or both?
All right, I'm going to have to say, let's see, let me, I don't know.
I'm going to say both.
No.
No?
Sorry.
Can I give another guess?
No.
Can I give two more guesses?
Rob gets to jump in now.
Affleck?
No.
Shit.
I'm going to jump in now. Affleck? No. Shit. Yeah, Andy.
Matt Damon.
Good guess.
That's right.
That's how this is done.
You're welcome.
Julia Roberts.
Wow.
I'm the only guy up here who gets the rom-coms.
I love that.
Doogie?
Yo.
Which one or both was in Finding Forester?
Oh I remember that movie
It was like they put the seams of the socks on the wrong side
Remember?
You're the man now dog
That wasn't my impression of Sean Connery
That was my impression of Daryl Hammond on SNL doing Sean Connery.
That's Sean Connery.
Suck it, Trebek.
All right.
What is the answer there, Doogie?
Damon.
That is correct.
Come on.
Give it up for Doogie.
And the crowd goes wild.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yes.
That was really short a short chance just like someone
saying my name twice all right Dave we're back to you in this time it is not
a rom-com well turns out you look at it born identity which one or both was in Courage Under Fire?
Courage Under Fire.
Oh, that was, what do you call it?
Matt.
Matt was in that.
Matt Damon?
Yeah.
That is correct.
Okay, there you go.
Yeah, thank you.
On the board.
Oh, this is, yeah.
This is competitive.
But also, it's going to get really tough now.
Yeah, those were the easy ones.
Especially Avengers Infinity War. Classic Damon. Yeah, those were the easy ones. Especially Avengers Infinity War.
Classic Damon.
Yeah.
He might be in there.
Brad Pitt was. No, he wasn't.
Who's first?
Whose turn is it, Dave? I am up. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's Rob.
Okay, Rob.
Damon, Affleck are both the third wheel.
Movie no one's heard of.
Both.
That is correct.
Yes.
Wow.
Wow.
My favorite movie of theirs that they're both in.
Clearly the best one.
It's them and then Gilbert Gottfried and he's the third wheel.
He's never the third wheel.
Okay, Andy.
The film is called Glory Days.
Oh, boy.
Glory Days.
And days is spelled D-A-Z-E.
Oh.
If that helps you.
If that helps you at all.
I'm going to say Affleck.
No.
Wow.
Doogie.
Both.
That is correct for the win.
Doogie is our winner.
Wow.
Doogie, congratulations.
Just for fun, though. Just for fun,
though,
just for fun,
which of those guys
or both do you think
was in the movie
Field of Dreams?
Field of Dreams.
Damon.
Matt.
What didn't we say?
Both.
Both is correct.
They're both in
Field of Dreams.
Extras. They play corn. They're both in Field of Dreams extras.
They play corn.
They're both fucking... Yeah, they're corn.
They both play corn in the field.
And Ray Liotta had to push him out of the way
to have a catch with his dad, his friend, his son.
Don't give the whole movie away.
I want to watch it.
I want to watch it when they get home.
They're throwing the ball back and forth.
You're my son.
You're my dad.
You're my son.
Cornfield of ghosts.
I think it would have been a better title for that one.
It's not a Christmas movie.
All right.
Well, does Field of Dreams not hold up?
Do you guys still think it's great or no?
I think it holds up.
Mixed.
Yeah, mixed, I think.
I haven't seen it in years.
Ray Liotta is so good at playing serial killers and crazy people
that when he laughs in that movie, it's still terrifying.
Right?
He's supposed to be this friendly baseball player from the corn.
He's just like, hehehehehe.
But now he's doing commercials for something.
What's that drug he's doing commercials for?
Oh, my God.
You guys chant his chantics.
I'm Ray Liotta.
Fuck you.
Buy this.
Yeah.
Get the fucking.
Get the fucking chantics.
Jesus.
I'm tired of your antics.
Buy some chantics.
Okay. We're going to play one more game.
And who won that last one?
Doogie did.
Okay, so we'll start with Doogie.
Then we'll go to Andy.
And then sometime tomorrow, maybe.
Then Rob.
And then Dave.
Here's a little tradition we have on the show Dave
Where people bring donuts to me
And then I proceed to
Chuck them into the crowd
Would you like to throw a donut to the audience?
Is that even legal anymore?
I don't know
Definitely ask first
The staff loves it
Try to throw it to somebody.
I got a glaze coming in.
Oh, shit.
Here we go.
Coming hot.
Whoa.
And lawsuit.
Isn't that fun?
Yeah.
It's fun.
All right.
Here goes Rob.
Wow.
This is really nice.
Somebody.
I do this because it's fun for the listeners.
Oh, is it? It's like a 1% of ring toss. Somebody I do this because it's fun for the listeners
Oh is it?
It's like a 1% of ring toss
I wasn't trying to hurt anybody
But you had my ear thrown far
I thought it was a frisbee
Jesus
This was kind of messy
Get your ponchos out
Put it right into somebody's hands If you can so be careful. Get your ponchos out.
Put it right into somebody's hands if you can.
Oh, shit. Oh, wow.
Whoa.
What a snack.
Yes.
What a connection.
I feel like Ray Liotta in Field of Dreams.
Ninja.
Is that your father that just caught that? caught ninja donut and he disappears into the field
outed himself as a cia agent that guy behind him so relieved that was going right for your face
i was aiming for uh that side but
oh that was fun, so where were we?
I'm going to get the name of an actor or actress
from a preselected audience member
so we can play Last Man Stanton.
And the idea is whatever actor they come up with,
we take turns naming movies that they've been in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But you do have one lifeline.
You can go to your person whose name tag you chose.
You can go to them once over the course of the game.
I have a question.
Please.
What hotel did you come up with these games in?
That's what I want to know.
Was it the La Quinta Inn?
Because that's where I get all my best ideas.
I was in a La Quinta in Tulsa.
And I was just like, I hope podcasting gets invented.
That donut throwing thing is genius.
That is good.
That's going to take off.
I didn't hurt anybody, did I?
Just emotionally.
You can't ask them that because then they can say yes.
And then the lawsuit starts right there.
That's not how I operate. Yeah, yeah yeah you have to deny deny that wasn't my donut that was another
guy that was some other guy brought a donut and i got rid of it i don't know what happened to it
when i left my hand your honor yeah exactly in my defense I thought it would be funny Yeah Well, it often is, but I appreciate the people
That come to the show and don't ever complain
About getting hit in the face with a donut
Because it has happened
I like how you only threw out six
I think that's great
How about munchkins next time? What do you think?
Let's really, like, spray the crowd with delicious
Write it down on your paper.
Ideas for next game.
Yes!
The saddest donuts in the world.
Thank you.
Whoa!
We made it!
Oh, what the...
Oh!
All right!
Yeah!
Oh!
All right, did you get it?
Let me...
Hold up a name tag for me to hit.
There you go.
That one right there is good.
Oh!
It went in a glass.
Right in the glass.
Thank you very much.
That name tag was a great backboard.
Oh, my God.
There's been some big...
There's a lot of anger in that throw. I saw that.
I just love the noise it makes.
We'll also have a better chance of hitting the target
if we just get it over with quickly.
That's too small.
I don't want to...
I need something bigger.
No.
All right, that one's cool.
Oh, shit.
Collateral damage.
The films of Tom Cruise.
Or no.
That was just collateral, right?
All right.
Where is Ury, D.C.? E-U-R-Y, D.C.
That's you?
Hi.
What's your name?
Jennifer.
What do you do, Jennifer?
I'm a project manager.
A project manager.
That's a good idea.
Keep it a secret.
Top secret project.
I'm going to manage it.
And what's your suggestion for Last Man Stanton today?
Robert Downey Jr.
RDJ, Robert Downey Jr.
Now let me take a look at the panel.
You guys feel confident about the movies of Robert Downey Jr.?
Sure.
No.
Okay.
It doesn't feel like you are strong on that.
So I'm going to get a second name just to make this interesting and last a little longer.
Where is Ryan underscore Largent?
Right there?
Yeah.
Why is that funny?
Because your name tag got picked?
Yeah.
Isn't that weird that that happens like that all the time?
So yeah, you got a chance to really rig the game.
You know, take a look at Andy.
He clearly knows the films of Eminem.
And Shaq.
So which, what name do you want to do? Oh wait, I'm sorry I didn't ask you the question. and Shaq so which
what name do you want to do
oh wait I'm sorry I didn't ask you the
question what do you do for a living
I don't really I'm not interested
what's your
he works at a coffee shop
and I love that you didn't say barista
that's cool
oh you don't work at a coffee shop
what were you trying to say
you work at a concert venue? Copy shop? What were you trying to say?
You work at a concert venue?
Oh, are you a project manager there?
Everybody comes in with real vague shit here at D.C.
Don't do crowd work here. Okay.
True that. What's your suggestion, dude? Tim Burton. do crowd work here. Okay. So.
True that.
What's your suggestion, dude?
Tim Burton.
Tim Burton.
Oh, so we're
going director,
not just acting roles.
Because I think
he's appeared on
camera once or twice.
But the films
of Tim Burton,
you know,
I appreciate that
because I'm going
to see Beetlejuice
later today,
but tonight.
That's what we've got, you guys.
I'm sorry.
I tried to get you something a little bit more manageable.
Let's just go films that Tim Burton directed.
Let's not do movies he produced because that's a much bigger list, I think.
Okay.
That totally changes my strategy.
You guys take it deep man what about executive
produced yes no he has to have directed it or he has to be a puppet in it and um can we write it
down real quick there it is okay um what do we decide it's first you me okay uh just name anything
that robert downey jr has acted in or tim burton is so i could do either one yeah oh nice uh well
i'll do uh beetlejuice and that's for tim burton okay you're right sadly robert downey jr was not
in that although wow that would have been great. Yeah, I don't think
they've ever worked together, but I might be surprised by
an answer. Andy? I'll do Weird
Science. Wow.
Okay.
Iron Man.
Uh-huh.
That's a smart play.
Dave? Sherlock Holmes.
What the fuck was that movie called?
Was it just Sherlock Holmes or did it have more words?
Do I have to say it?
You didn't say that in the beginning.
I meant to say it.
I must have missed that during the donut massacre.
All right, so then Edward Scissorhands for a burden.
Okay, good call.
There you go.
Sorry, buddy.
Yeah, I wish I knew what the title was.
I would have said it.
Oh, I didn't have to get it in Ovalarian to get a score up here.
Wow.
Really?
All right.
Doug's very anal movie show.
Wow, all right.
Yeah, I just, Doug Loves Anal didn. All right. Yeah, I just...
Doug Love's anal didn't sound right.
Can somebody high-five
Doug for me? I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with it.
Okay, sorry.
Doogie, can you high-five Doug for me?
Because that was great.
I'm about a mile and a half away from the host of the show here.
I'm actually on another podcast right now.
When it's your turn for an answer, Dave,
I'll send a Sherpa.
Okay, thank you.
All right, so...
Send up a flare when it's my turn, please.
Okay, so Edward Scissorhands, as it has been said,
and then it's my turn, so I will say,
directed by Tim Roth, the movie
Big Eyes.
Big Eyes. Wow. I mean,
Tim Burton.
Holy shit.
We all know Tim Roth directed
Small Eyes.
Doogie?
The Nightmare Before Christmas.
We got a
groaner in the audience because I think you're one word
off.
Oh, he didn't direct it. You're right.
I thought
it might be A, but that's for a nightmare
on Elm Street.
Big mistake. Well, you know, Tim Burton
doesn't have time to sit there and move the little puppets,
but
he was certainly heavily involved.
Go ahead.
They're right. I have to go with that, so name
something else. Ed Wood.
Yes, for sure.
That's my favorite. Everyone's angry.
I'm still in the game. That's my favorite.
Bullshit. He fucking got it wrong.
Get him out of here. Get him out of here!
Yeah, even Lore Wars is like,
I don't want to win this way.
No, she said go Dookie, so we're good.
Andy?
Zodiac.
Oh, yes.
Nice.
At least I got one laugh.
Rob?
Less than zero.
Oh, great one.
My favorite number.
Dave?
Natural born killers.
Uh-huh.
I'll go with...
Iron Man 2.
The new batch.
The New Batch.
Pee-wee's Big Adventure.
Yes!
Wow.
My second favorite movie by Tim Burton. Tim Burton directed that?
That was his first feature.
Is it really?
Wow.
Yep.
All right.
Large Marge still gives somebody in the audience nightmares.
It was 40 years ago.
I overheard.
This very night.
Where are we?
Me.
No, I mean, what city are we in?
Yes, Andy, go.
Alice in Wonderland?
Yes, of course.
Spider-Man Homecoming?
Yeah.
What?
Oh yeah Forgot who we were talking about
Spider-Man
H.C.
Dave
Should I go to my guy?
If you want
What do you want to do?
What do you got Dan?
Can you dim the lights?
Whoa
Oh he's standing up to tell him
This is unprecedented
Oh cool Well Dave says I'm a huge fan of dim the lights. Whoa. Oh, he's standing up to tell him. This is unprecedented.
Oh, cool.
Well,
Dave says,
I'm a huge fan of,
it just came to me,
A Scanner Darkly.
That is correct.
Boom, there we go.
What was your favorite part of that movie?
What was my favorite
part of that movie?
Oh, right.
I'm still a little mad about that movie.
Because, oh, I don't know why I'm sharing this.
They called me and asked me if I wanted to play that part in the movie.
And I was like, yeah.
And then a few weeks later they called and said Robert Downey Jr. wanted to do it.
So they were going a different way with it.
Specifically the Robert Downey Jr. way.
What a near miss in my career because that movie was huge.
Was it originally called The Scanner Dugley?
It was! It seemed written for me!
Alright, who's up? Me? You. Yeah you yeah i'm gonna go to my lifeline no i'm gonna say frankenweenie bat man i froze what's the second half? Oh, shit.
Andy?
Avengers?
Oh, shit.
Here they come.
The full title zombies.
The Avengers?
Yeah, you can even add a Marvels.
Wow.
Wow.
Okay. Jesus Christ. You can also add a Marvels. Wow. Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
Jesus Christ.
You could also put a Marvels in front of it, too.
Okay.
Yeah.
Marvels, The Avengers. That one, yeah.
Wow.
Copyright.
Good job.
Chinese studio.
Some of us just call it MTA, but that's...
Rob?
The Avengers Infinity War
I don't know if there's
there's no the on it
but I'll let that go
you're welcome
thank you
alright Dave
let me recap some of them
real quick
we've got Iron Man
we've got Iron Man 2
what do you think?
let me see if I got this one now Oh damn it
Did you audition for that as well?
I don't know
I'm thinking
This might be really wrong
But they all laughed
Do you know that one? Robert Downey Jr?
Anybody know?
Dorothy Stratton's last movie.
I don't think he was in that. No.
But he was in stuff like that.
He was also in Iron Man.
You don't have to be gentle to me.
He was in Iron Man. He was in Iron Man 2.
Yeah.
I remember you gave me the list.
I didn't know we were allowed to do
the sequels. Yeah, yeah. Sequels count. Oh, really? Alright. I didn't know we were allowed to do the sequels.
Yeah, yeah, sequels count.
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
I'm doing a protest.
Okay, Iron Man 3?
Yeah.
Okay, there you go.
Nice.
Wow.
Sorry, Dan.
Big pull.
Sorry, Dan.
It sucks when you're responsible for some guy's dream.
It really does.
Now I'm trying to think of what they all laughed was like... That was like a...
Your substitute.
Ben Gazzara was in it.
How old am I?
Yeah, he was in that for sure.
And John Ritter was in there.
Wasn't he the young...
Yeah, it was good.
It was Bogdanovich, but...
No, right?
What? But I don't think
Robert Downey Jr. was in there. No, I thought it was
movies he might have seen.
Movies he would like. I'm on the next
level of game.
I'll dumb it down. Don't worry.
I'll dumb it down now.
I apologize.
Alright. I'm gonna go down now. I apologize. All right.
I'm going to go Batman Returns.
Damn it.
Sorry.
That's what I was going to say.
Doogie.
Doogie.
I guess I'll say Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.
What?
You heard me.
Oh, man.
Can you actually not hear down there?
I guess I'll say.
I'll say the most obscure movie.
I just call it
Mrs. P's House of C.
Wow.
Missy P's.
Andy? Missy Pease Andy Is he in Thor Ragnarok?
What?
Is Robert Downey Jr.
I don't know
I don't think so
I don't think he is
Can I call my lifeline?
Yeah
What's the one where
Robert Duvall's his dad?
Oh right
Yeah I know it I'm right. Yeah, I know it.
I'm going to say it later.
I know it.
It's a good movie.
What do you suggest for him now, though?
I'm going to pass on that one.
Okay, then just give me one.
Just give him one.
Planet of the Apes.
Okay, Planet of the Apes.
Planet of the Apes.
Tim Burton did a version of it, yeah.
Great.
Good job.
A lot of fans out there.
One of my favorite Tim Burton films. Oh, i forgot that yeah all right rob uh did you captain america winter soldier
why is he in that one because he's in all those fucking movies
he just shows up nope nope even tony stark takes a break here and there. Okay, Captain America Civil War.
Oh, nice.
Now we're talking.
Nice switcheroonie.
That's what I meant to say.
Yeah, good save.
Some of the battlefields for that movie are near here.
They are, yes.
Too soon.
What do you think, Dave?
Well, I'm going to say Spider-Man.
Thanks for the point.
He was... There was a technical problem.
I got it right.
We're still in the game.
I love the bit.
He's only been in one Spider-Man movie
and that's the one we said already.
Sorry.
Way to drop the hammer. That already. Wow. Sorry. Wow.
Way to drop the hammer. That was fun, though.
Let's see.
That was creative.
Should I let him stay in another round for that?
Yes.
Why get off on a laugh when you can stay in?
No need to flip the paper and look at the rules.
Oh, man.
I'm going to just say
the Robert Duvall thing.
The Judge.
It's a great movie.
Yeah.
I love it.
It's like My Cousin Vinny,
but not funny.
That was the slogan, actually.
Weird marketing.
He's not your cousin.
His name isn't Vinny.
He's the judge.
Oh, I thought of another one.
Oh, anyway.
Whisper it to me.
What do you got, Doogie?
Did anybody say Infinity War yet?
I did in the wrong game. I think I said it, yes. Yeah, he said it. Are you sure? What do you got, Doogie? Did anybody say Infinity War yet?
I did in the wrong game.
I think I said it, yes.
Yeah, he said it.
Are you sure?
Okay.
I wish I didn't have to... Big Fish.
Yeah, yeah, Big Fish.
Wow.
I was just hoping to save it.
You said it like it wasn't right.
No, I knew it was right, but I was hoping to save it for a more obvious one.
You said it like it wasn't great.
It's a good one, though.
Andy?
Is he in Wonder Boys?
Yep.
Wow.
Whoa.
Amazed by yourself.
Jesus Christ.
You're the Dave Attell of this game.
Thank you.
Two girls and a guy.
Yeah.
That might have been around the time of They All Laughed, maybe.
That might be what you were thinking of.
I don't know.
Two girls and a guy.
No pizza place, though.
Can I do Robert Downey Jr.'s father?
Yes.
Yeah?
Yeah, what do you got?
Poor man.
Because it's like iron before it turns...
Wow.
I'm worth it.
I can only think of one that his dad did,
but I do have one.
You do?
Yeah, do you?
No, I don't.
He directed that movie Putney Swope.
Yes.
Wow.
You going with that?
What?
Do you want to go with that?
No, I don't.
Do you want to go with an incorrect answer?
I don't like how you're glaring at me.
That's not glaring.
Wow.
I'm really high right now.
I don't know.
I'm just trying to read that clock over there.
It's 5.54.
It keeps changing.
Fucking time, man.
It keeps changing.
I'm trying to read this clock, but it keeps changing.
The kitchen stopped for a minute time.
I really am at a loss for words.
The Sherlock Holmes movies we didn't really talk about, did we?
We didn't get into it, yeah.
Yeah, so I'm gonna say
they got tricky titles
yeah
so long
well I'm probably
just gonna say
I'll go for the half point
with Sherlock Holmes
oh I like that
I like a half point
alright so Dave
is half in
Home Alone
with Sherlock Holmes
nothing
Sherlock Holmes
Alone
Holmes you don't play that just the other day I was talking about how the Sherlock Holmes. Nothing? Sherlock Holmes alone.
Holmes, you don't play that? Just the other day,
I was talking about
how the Sherlock Holmes titles
are confusing,
and then one of them
was on the television,
and then I watched the title,
and I still don't...
I can't bring it back
because it's just so generic
and I don't think
it has anything to do
with the story.
Maybe it did.
Sherlock Holmes and the Golden Triangle?
Yeah, that's the one.
No.
Okay.
All right.
My answer is I'm going to go with Due Date.
Wow.
With Zach Galifianakis.
Good.
Oh, that's a great one.
Good thing.
Doogie.
Mars attacks. And I said the. Doogie. Mars attacks.
And I said the explanation point.
Oh yes.
And you sounded like the aliens a little bit.
It's probably the most hurtful thing anyone's ever said to me.
Cause I kind of do.
Andy.
Tropic motherfucking thunder.
Oh,
yeah.
How the fuck didn't we say that yet?
It's a big one.
This Academy Award winning
performance
in blackface.
He was merely nominated,
but that's, yeah,
you're right.
He didn't win.
Did he get nominated
for that?
Yeah.
Oh, he should have.
It was fucking great.
And he did.
You were joking?
Well, I thought
it was so good,
but it's also like,
how did they get away with it?
Well, it's because he's Australian when he's not doing the black voice.
Oh, those people can do anything, you know?
The rabbit-proof fence.
I'm just saying.
Was he in that?
Was he in Rabbit-Proof Fence?
No.
Oh, okay.
What's your turn?
That was like Nicole Kidman and what's his name?
Is Chef,
is that the title
of that movie
with Jon Favreau
when he's a chef?
Yeah.
Then that's the fucking answer.
All right.
Downey Jr.'s in that?
Yeah.
Okay.
It's episodic.
I forgot.
Sorry.
Dustin Hoffman?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
My lifeline just said she doesn't know shit, so...
I'm feeling losing confidence.
I don't know if you're going to need her,
because Dave just needs to miss half to be out.
Either way, this is a teachable moment.
I mean, I really don't have an answer, so I apologize,
but I would like to throw out movies
I think Robert Downey Jr. should
be in. Is that okay? Okay.
Pitch Perfect 4.
Add another level to it.
So I don't have an answer.
Okay, so Dave's out.
I'm out. I'm sorry, buddy.
And we're racing the clock
right now, and I can't think of another one.
There's got to be more.
I turned my sign upside down.
Oh.
Doogie, I'm tapping. What do you got?
Corpse Bride.
Oh, yeah!
Nice.
Andy?
Okay, that's it for Andy.
Sherlock Holmes and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Oh.
I was so excited that you almost said it.
Right.
Just the first two words were right, though.
Okay.
Katie Shack, you got something for me?
So what's that one where he gets
Oh my god, really?
Good start
You can use your phone
He discovers a cellist
Oh yes
Oh a cellist
Not a cellist
The soloist
The soloist is right
Yes, as we work together on that.
That's my girl.
Can't believe I forgot that.
Doogie, do you have another one?
Wait, have you never gone to your lifeline?
I haven't gone to my lifeline yet.
Oh, shit.
I think I might have to.
I think you do have to.
Another weird fucked up movie.
There's like a timber, you know, like, what's that weird fucked up movie that's like a timber you know like
you're like
what's that weird
fucked up movie
no go to your lifeline
okay I'll go to my lifeline
Sweeney Todd
the Demon Barber
Sweeney Todd
the Demon Barber
on Fleet Street
I don't even know
if I can repeat that back
full title and everything
we probably also
could have just said
Helena Bonham Carter
movies you know
it's a subgenre alright so you're going with that We probably also could have just said Helena Bonham Carter movies, you know?
It's a subgenre.
All right, so you're going with that?
I'll go with that.
Yeah, that's correct.
That's why everyone was clapping.
That's great.
Smart to go with it.
Yeah.
And Andy's out.
Oh, shit.
And so it's just Rob and Doogie.
You got one more, Rob?
Avengers 2.
We didn't say that, but I don't't know what's the rest of it called?
the rest of it
uh
um
Electric Boogaloo
no
ah
shit
Port of Call
New Orleans
I don't fucking know
um
I don't know
I guess it's all doogie
god
is it called Avengers Assemble?
Sherlock Holmes and the League of Shadows?
It's something kind of like that, but...
How about Sherlock?
But you're the winner anyway.
It's just called Sherlock.
Doogie wins anyway.
Doogie.
Congratulations, Doogie.
Whoa.
God damn.
18 in a row.
He's too good.
Unbelievable.
What was the first Sherlock Holmes called?
Sherlock Holmes.
Just that?
Yes.
Dave is still in.
Dave is still in.
That's wrong.
Dave.
No, no, no.
Thank you.
Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave.
I'm back in the game.
Oh, my God.
I mean, I know I told you not to yell so loud,
but it would have been good to know that earlier.
But Dave, you're still in this.
Doug, I thought there was going to be a wave of donuts coming back at us. I was like, fix!
This is corruption!
This is turning into an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
Yes.
Twist at the end.
I'm back in it.
Dave's back in it.
And I'm up against Alexa with a beard over here.
There's no way I'm going to win.
There's no way I'm going to win.
All you need to know is 14 more movies and you can win this thing.
Hello, Dave.
Oh, come on.
Are you looking for bars in your area?
Bars you're still allowed to go to in your area.
Dave, I found one in Massachusetts.
Well, I'm surprised none of you guys
who are incredible,
give them a hand for being so up on the movies
and stuff like that.
I can't believe no one,
you know,
said the classic,
and I hope they make another one.
I'm sorry,
I have nothing.
I have nothing.
That's it?
You're done?
That's it, yeah.
But that was such a great comeback.
Yeah.
Yes.
For the ages.
So exciting.
But I'm going to call it it again Doogie's our winner
oh shit
Doogie
thank you
this is the time in the show
when we plug
Dave what do you got to plug
Bumpin' Mics
is gonna be on Netflix
I'll be at
The Comedy Works
next week
great club great town so check it out that's in Denver, Colorado and Mike's is going to be on Netflix. I'll be at the Comedy Works next week. Great club,
great town, so check it out. That's in
Denver, Colorado, so check that out
guys. And then at the Comedy
Cellar in Las Vegas, they have a
room there and that is also a lot of fun.
So I hope to see you guys on the road. Thanks for having me.
Thank you, Dave.
Dave Attell.
Be sure to go up to Dave after the show and say,
I heard you on Doug Lowe's movies.
And then he'll say something funny.
Okay.
That's how it works, right?
A lot of pressure on you.
Yeah, I know.
Bring some movies.
He does a fun meet and greet.
He's always fun to talk to after shows.
Rob Mayer, what do you got to plug?
Right here at the DC Improv, October 31st, Halloween night,
my interactive comedic murder mystery, Halloween Whodunit.
Someone will die here on stage.
You have to figure it out.
So DCImprov.com, Halloween night, and for all things me, RobMayer.com,
R-O-B-M-A-H-E-R.
Thank you, Doug Benson.
Thank you, Rob Mayer.
H-E-R. Thank you, Doug Benson.
Thank you, Rob Mayer.
Andy Haynes, what do you got?
I play Spider-Man in Times Square.
My suit is ruined, so it's look for a blue Spider-Man.
The red wore off.
The blue Spider-Man group.
Yeah, exactly.
I do have a garbage can, so it is true.
I will be at Laughs Comedy Club in Seattle, Washington the weekend before Christmas.
And I write a show, which I'm not allowed to say
because their PR person's crazy.
So just look for a sports website that rhymes with Eeper...
Eeport.
What?
I write a cartoon about soccer. You should watch it.
Okay.
Whose is this?
Throw it in the prize bag.
Why is there like a whole,
somebody's whole Patagonia coat is on the station?
Is it Ben Affleck's, Matt Damon's, or both?
I own one very similar to this one,
but it's not this one.
Doesn't belong to any of you guys?
Sound guy?
I'll put it in the fucking prize bag.
It probably
belongs to somebody. It probably belongs to
you, doesn't it? No, it's probably a wild fleece.
I mean, I
just walked in on its own.
That's how fleece is born.
I'm no one's fleece.
I belong to no one. Nobody spilled a Red Bull
on this carpet carpet did they?
Alright well
that's where
I got it
It's just on the stage
It's a gremlin
from Gremlins 3
It's the fleece gremlin
Doogie Horner
Yeah what's your next book
Doogie?
Oh I actually
announced
I have a novel coming out in the spring
called This Might Hurt a Bit.
Nice.
But it's not coming out until the spring.
Okay.
But that will be my next book called This Might Hurt a Bit.
And then you can check out my cat books,
some very interesting cats perhaps you weren't aware of,
100 Ghosts, Die Hard Christmas.
I have a monthly show at the UCB East
the second Tuesday of every month at 9 o'clock.
So next one is November 13th.
It's at UCB East in New York called Homeschooled.
And you can follow me online at Doogie Horner
on Twitter and Instagram.
Oh, and my friend Joe Zimmerman,
his album just dropped a couple days ago
and it's called Innocence and it's really good.
So check that out too.
Oh, let's run through.
Andy, you know anybody that did something great?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, my buddy Rory Scoble's in this movie called
I Feel Pretty and Dave's also in it.
Check it out.
Yeah.
My friend Doug has a great podcast called Doug Loves Movies.
Definitely check that out.
He's a really nice guy.
He's just, like, nice.
Doug Loves Anal.
My buddy Owen Benjamin is doing some awesome YouTube.
Yeah, sorry I was nice and mentioned someone else.
Check out Eliza's suit.
Check out Tom Brady.
He plays on the Patriots.
He's a good player.
Boo!
His name is Tom Takarna.
Yes.
Go Chiefs, go.
Doug Loves Movies returns to Sweet Home San Diego
on Saturday, November 17th.
I'm sure we'll see Eddie there.
This has been so much fun.
Thank you to the DC Improv, one of my favorite clubs.
Great club.
Yes.
And let's hear it one more time for all my guests, Dave Attell, Rob Mayer, Andy Haynes, and Doogie Horner.
Let's see, yeah.
There's no shithead on the back of Andy's.
Yeah, do you have one? Okay, drink minimum There's no shithead on the back of Andy's. Yeah, do you have one?
Okay, drink minimums are a shithead.
That seems like a direct shot at this establishment.
Let's see.
What happened to Dave's name tag?
Oh, shit.
Wow, that was like the worst mic drop ever.
Nobody said anything cool.
Dave, let me see the back of your name tag real quick.
Yeah.
Dan Snyder and Bruce Allen are shitheads.
Do you want to keep this?
Can I get to keep it?
If you want to.
Can I get this through airport security? I think you'll be alright.
But definitely take the candy.
David Tell, everybody.
And finally,
get the music ready.
Our dang president is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another cocky.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.