Doug Loves Movies - Dave Foley, Martha Kelly, Brandon Wardell and Eric Edelstein guest
Episode Date: January 14, 2019Live from the SF Sketchfest in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Dave Foley, Martha Kelly, Brandon Wardell and Eric Edelstein to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on St...itcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
But Doug loves movies
Hey Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
I'd like this microphone to be a little hotter, please.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is God Loves Movies.
Shush, that's not the right time for that.
Stop it.
Oh, so much going on today.
This is so exciting, you guys.
We're coming to you once again
from the Gateway Theater
as part of SF Sketch Fest
in San Francisco, California!
It's Saturday, January 12th, 2019,
and this is the second DLM taping of the year,
and I would like to see some name tags
right this second.
And thanks to the folks at
NextVR, people are watching
this show right now with their
helmets on
and
they're watching all of this but there's
a, one of the VR cameras
is in the back so
could you guys just quickly
turn your name tags around and show the back?
And also we'll get a little house light action. Look at these things. I just want them to see
what we're dealing with here. Great job. Thank you for doing that. And we'll be back to you in a
little bit. We can bring the lights back down. We'll be back to pick name tags in a little while.
Oh, that was close.
That was going to be a loud noise
if I pulled that microphone off of that stool.
Doug plugs, tomorrow, also part of Sketch Fest,
press start, Audible presents,
as part of that, the Benson movie interruption
of the final film in the most talked about trilogy
since the prequels.
We're gonna fucking watch, can I swear on VR?
We're gonna watch Fifty Shades Freed.
Yeah.
We saw the first two chapters of this rotten series
in the gorgeous Castro Theater here in San Francisco
and we're going to
finally finish it off.
Are some of you
going to be there?
All right.
Tell your friends
it's a huge theater.
Doug Loves Movies
is back at our OG home,
the UCB Theater
in Los Angeles
this Tuesday, January 11th.
Next Sunday, excuse me,
Saturday, next Saturday, January 19th,
Doug Loves Movies returns to
Tacoma, Washington at the Tacoma Comedy
Club at 420.
And Sunday, January
27th, Doug Loves Movies returns to
the Comedy Cellar at the Rio in
Las Vegas at 420.
I'll be coming to
Dallas, Raleigh, Sacramento,
Tampa, and more
in February. For all my
dates and deets and links, oh my,
go to Douglovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com!
Yeah!
See, that's where you do that part.
Next VR, thank you for doing this.
They broadcast live sports and entertainment.
And I feel like this shows a little of both sports and entertainment.
Maybe not enough of either.
And yeah, and so there's people just, you know, staying at home.
Didn't have to go on all the effort you guys went to.
The trick is we're going to have to figure out how to get their name tags involved in VR.
Because you guys are the only ones that get to participate today.
But thank you to everybody who's watching.
Tweet at Doug Benson if you did the VR thing with your VR helmet and you know
Let me know if you liked it what you thought of it
Amazing prize bag for today because our friends at spark awesome dispensary here in San Francisco
Gave us one of their hoodies and
Tons of other items. I don't think there's any actual weed in here
because you know how that goes.
But I'll probably see you outside
if you want to smoke some of mine.
And the prize bag that I brought
is a Willie's Reserve bag.
The great Willie Nelson has his own line of weed
as everybody does these days.
I got a hat that says WM on that.
Do you know what that stands for?
Weed maps.
You did it!
I looked right at that guy.
How the fuck...
Do you use weed maps?
You have, okay.
Wow, that was great.
I wish the homies could see you
that's what I'm going to call the people
watching VR
the homies
I got a Douglas Movies t-shirt
you can still get those online somewhere
a Douglas Movies sticker
you can always get those from me
a sippy cup from I forget which Broadway show I saw,
and I drank alcohol during it.
And then I was just in Los Angeles, where I live,
but I grabbed a copy of Los Angeles Magazine.
So that you guys can flip through it and go,
no, we're good here.
This isn't an all right place.
All of that's in the
prize bag, plus stuff brought by
my four amazing guests
who are all appearing in shows at Sketchfest
all weekend long. Please give
it up for Martha Kelly, Eric
Edelstein, Brandon Wardell,
and Dave Foley!
Thank you! Hey! I wonder if the VR people are clapping.
Are they just sitting there?
Yes!
Welcome, everybody.
Let's meet them individually, shall we?
Starting with, right here on my left, Martha Kelly!
with right here on my left, Martha Kelly!
You tore the games up in Austin a few weeks ago,
so it's nice to have you back.
Thanks.
I lost that game, so I don't know how much I did. You're all winners to me.
Okay.
Yeah, but it was fun having you.
The bottom line.
It was really fun to do it.
We have a good time.
Have you ever done anything in VR before?
No.
All right, just for the rest of the panel,
remember, longer answers are better.
Sorry.
What are you up to here at Sketch Fest?
What other shows have you done or are you about to do?
I just got in last night.
So before this, mostly I've just been going back and forth to Starbucks.
And then later tonight at 10.30 at Cobb's,
I'm co-headlining with Mary Lynn Rice Cobb.
And Dwayne Perkins is doing a set.
And it hopefully will be fun.
That sounds great.
Yeah.
Bring a coat.
A coat or a coat?
Yeah, a Cobbs.
Oh, is it cold?
Yeah, I don't know why, but I was in a show there last night,
and it was cold inside.
I had to go outside to warm up.
Really?
Yeah.
I'll bring my coat and my mittens.
Yeah, well, you'll be on stage,
so I guess the stage lights will warm you up a little bit.
But thank you for being here, Martha.
Thank you for having me, Doug.
Also joining us for, I believe,
it's his second time on the opposite end there.
You can't miss him.
It's Eric Edelstein, everybody.
Hi, guys.
Thank you.
Yay.
Thank you.
Now, you're a character actor.
You've been in a ton of stuff.
There's so many great movies and things we can talk about.
But I want to talk about your wife.
I don't blame you.
Because I just learned today that she is a dog groomer,
has her own dog grooming business. Yes, my wife is a dog groomer. Has her own dog grooming business. Yes.
My wife is a dog groomer to the stars.
And an Instagram famous
dog groomer. You can follow her at
at Jess Rona Grooming. She has like
130,000 followers. She has a book out
now. Yeah, it's pretty hysterical.
She does Katy Perry's dog. But I
kind of live in a sitcom because I'll like
they're supposed to go around the back because of
boundaries. You know, It's my home.
But they'll knock the door
and I'll throw on basketball shorts and be upset.
And then I'll answer and it's like, Andy Garcia.
Did I use the wrong
door? And I'm like, no! Come on in,
Andy!
It's a total trip. It's
amazing.
Will she groom your dog if you're a fading 90s
celebrity? That ain't you, man. You're my hero dog if you're a fading 90s celebrity?
That ain't you, man. You're my hero. Are you kidding me?
Come on over.
My dog is filthy.
She does me, too.
She does my back hair now. I wish I was kidding. Every hair I lose here
has ended up somewhere.
Did she put you on a short leash on a table?
It's a medium leash,
Dave. I'm working up, you know?
Wow.
And the main reason
I think you should check out
the Instagram page of his wife
is because when she blow dries
the dogs at the end
of their grooming,
she makes videos of that.
Yeah.
There's nothing like a dog
being blow dried.
No.
Well, and I love it
because it's been her day job for 18 years,
and she has a passion for it
and does classes
and enters in grooming competitions,
which are, like, best in show.
I went to a convention with her
in Hershey, Pennsylvania this year,
name drop.
But what I love about it is...
Location drop.
Name drop.
One day, she was just sitting there,
and she probably had 300 followers,
and this dog was blow-drawing.
She's like, that's kind of cinematic.
And she'd always want to direct,
and then she put a Beyonce song with it,
and it blew up.
And then Tegan and Sarah got into it,
and Katy Perry,
and it's turned into this whole thing.
And luckily, I'm a character actor,
so I love it when people are more excited about her. I'm like, I'm good with it, this is my job, let's roll, babe.
And she's cutting my back hair.
At least you didn't say my wife blows dogs.
Also joining us...
Doug, that was one time and she's not drinking anymore.
That's really sad for the dogs.
No, it is, it is.
I feel bad, man. I put up with the blow dryer. That's really sad for the dogs. No. It is.
I feel bad.
I put up with the blow dryer.
Also on stage with us today, it's Brandon Wardell, everybody.
Hi.
How's it going, dude?
I'm good. I was trying to get Doug with sober today, and then I took a hit of your vape.
Now I'm blackout high.
I'm fucking tripping.
I'm feeling good.
That's not what happens.
Dude, I'm fucking tripping.
I mean, I like my vape pen, but it's not that good. I swear
to God, man, I took one hit of weed.
Everything is tie-dye.
I'm looking into this crowd. I'm like,
huh? Is this a Lord of the
Rings?
Do you need an impartial tester to see where that's
at? Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah.
I didn't even know you did this sort
of thing. Oh, really? Yeah. Man.
You got to come on my other podcast.
Done.
Yeah.
Yay!
I'm just going to walk around in this smoke over here.
Repurpose it.
And you have shows all weekend as well?
They were all last night.
It's all done?
Yeah.
They were good.
It's all over but the tripping and the crying?
They sold out.
It's a small venue, though.
It's not impressive.
You were doing Brandon and Friends shows.
I'm sure it was a good time.
It was good.
Was anybody there?
No?
All right.
Thank you for not looking.
You're asking these people that weren't there if there was anybody there?
Well, I don't know.
Was it empty?
I was just asking if they were there last night,
and apparently the Venn diagram
is just two separate circles.
So...
Well, let's, you know,
today we'll hopefully help bridge the gap
in our Venn diagram
and get people into one circle
that we're both in.
And get people into one circle that we're both in.
And finally,
it's Dave Foley! Dave Foley!
Touring around with the
Whose Line Is It Anyway fellas?
Yes, I am.
With Gregory Proops and Jeff Davis and Joel Murray.
Yeah, love those guys.
Love that show.
Got to see you do it in Washington, D.C. a while back.
Oh, that's right, yeah.
That was your first one maybe, right?
No, I'd done it a few...
A couple times?
My first one was Evansville...
Was it Indiana?
Wow, you guys are really dropping locations.
It's no Hershey.
Time smells like chocolate, Dave.
I know.
Yeah.
But yeah, that was...
I jumped in on that.
Ryan got sick
and they needed somebody within eight hours.
But now they're like kind of rotating dudes,
so you check the listings in this different group of four guys every time.
Yeah, me and Ryan and Drew and...
Yeah, Drew Carey's going for some of the shows.
Yeah, or sort of swapping out.
Yeah, that's neat.
I love it.
I'm going to come see it again if I can.
It's a lot of fun.
And what else is going on for you here at Sketch Fest?
Well, it came out, we did the kids in the hall thing last night.
Sorry, Brandon, but who went to that?
Keep working, kid.
That's like just one circle completely filled with another circle.
And then you've got stuff tonight, too?
Tonight?
No, just doing this and then doing Story Pirates tomorrow.
Oh, okay.
That's a show that people
can bring their children to.
What am I doing?
Oh, we did a podcast
last night, too.
I forgot about that.
Yeah.
We did a podcast.
Who was helping you out
with that just now?
Huh?
That's my wife, Chrissy.
My wife!
My wife.
Yay!
Yeah.
Chrissy, who produces
our podcast.
Yeah, so she's doing
a great job.
She's getting the word out.
It's not easy.
I'm not a good...
I'm not good at promoting.
What's the podcast called?
It's called...
I can say here.
It's called Don't Say Cunt.
And it's a podcast where Paul Greenberg and I
promise the audience,
out of respect for Americans who don't like the word cunt,
that we will talk for 45 minutes straight without saying cunt.
What happens if you do say it? Do you get slimed or something?
Do you fall into it?
So far there have been no repercussions.
We haven't built that into the format.
Because you do slip and say it.
Occasionally, but very rarely.
Very, very rarely.
It's so hard.
Mostly when someone else comes in and when a surprise guest will come in
and will sometimes go, oh, hey, welcome to Don't Say Cunt.
Oh, sorry, we weren't supposed to.
Well, yeah, if you're just quoting the title,
that's not so bad.
That works out okay.
And it is,
it's a show that you can
tune in with your children
and know that
for 45 minutes
the word cunt
won't be said.
No such luck
with this show.
No, no.
Sorry, kids.
This show is filthy.
Well, thank you all
for being here.
Of course, part of the show
is I insist that people
bring stuff to contribute
to the prize bag.
And I reached out to Martha
and reminded her about it.
And what was your response?
I didn't bring anything from Texas or wherever you just were.
I have a bunch of stuff I could have brought and I forgot.
So I went to Walgreens today.
But they didn't have anything that anybody would have wanted as a gift.
In all of Walgreens?
I mean.
What a worthless store.
That's the slogan.
Nothing you want.
It didn't seem.
So I got a $20 Starbucks gift card in this bag.
And then this is also the marijuana gift bag
with a bag of Pop Secret popcorn. I'm sorry.
Let me see.
There is pot
in the bag. So each one of us, yeah, we got
our own individual bags from
Spark. I'm sorry I forgot
to bring stuff and whoever wins
this, if you feel cheated
and you want to
message me on the internet,
I will send you some more stuff.
I think they're going to be okay with a couple of pre-rolls
and, yeah, three pre-rolls and whatever this thing is.
And there's an envelope with what felt like marijuana buds in it.
It is marijuana buds.
Oh, yeah, these fancy sealed things.
But it's kind of presupposing that somebody in Doug's audience likes pot.
I think pot is pretty popular at this whole festival.
But thank you for that, Martha.
That's great that you paid it forward.
Well, sorry it's not more.
Now I'm going to try to convince Brandon
to contribute his shoes.
Oh, yeah, this is...
Those are some colorful motherfuckers.
Good shoes.
Where'd you buy them, cunts?
Is it...
Where are the VR?
Where's the VR cameras?
I
Right here?
I don't know if
Well, I mean
We're getting into a different topic entirely
But like
For my podcast
I have like a Patreon
Where $5 gets you bonus episodes
But $10 gets you feet pics
And like
I'll post pictures of my feet.
It's a size 13 feet.
And they look great.
Do you want me to open the back?
Yeah, what do you got?
I hope you're hanging on
to all the weed that they gave you.
So I went to the Alamo Drafthouse
gift shop and found this Iron Giant tiki mug.
Nice!
If you guys are into Iron Giant at all,
it's a great film.
I cry when he says Superman at the end.
That made me cry.
And then there's like a...
Why, did you think of Christopher Reeve?
Yeah.
By the way, do you remember
all those
Eminem songs where he would talk
about Christopher Reeve?
Really? He mentions him a lot.
I don't know, just go to...
He mentions him more than Pee Wee Herman?
He does mention Pee Wee Herman a lot too I don't know. Just go to like. He mentions him more than Pee Wee Herman.
Go to Rap Genius.
He does mention Pee Wee Herman a lot too. I know.
Go to Rap Genius.
Search Christopher Reeve M&M.
You'll find a lot of lines.
It's just something interesting to think about.
But also in this bag, there is a receipt.
There's a receipt and it has the last four digits of my credit card number.
And if you want to guess the rest, you can steal my identity.
Somebody will steal my identity tonight.
Let's fucking go.
I'm going to give you all of my credit card information and my social security number also.
And in addition to an Iron Giant ceramic tiki mug.
Well, the tiki mug's enough, but okay.
Pass that on down here.
Yeah, all right, great.
Thanks.
Oh, it didn't come in a bag?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is it your own personal bag?
Yeah.
Wait a minute, you kind of said they could try.
They can try, they can try.
I'll put it in there.
I don't think, there is no try with this crowd.
I think they know computers.
Oh, then maybe, how easy is it,
how easy is it to guess somebody's credit card number,
in theory?
Well, they'd have to do a lot of combinations, but they probably have a program
that could just run through them and find it.
Yeah, can you give me that receipt back, actually?
It was like,
yeah, thank you.
I don't know.
Yeah, I thought it through,
and, you know,
I changed my mind about that bit.
That's the thing, is it was, like,
you guys didn't even like that as a bit that much.
And then, like, so it, like, didn't really pay off crowd-wise.
And then I also actually get my identity stolen.
Sounds like a bad deal.
That's the joke version of a long con.
Yeah.
The bit was on me
the whole time.
Dude, I
fucking love to prank myself
by getting my identity stolen.
Dave, what do you got
for us? Oh, I'm also
a terrible person.
So what I did was
I just went to the swag room in the hotel
and just like
really overstuffed this bag.
Do you want to give us the
highlights or do you want to
talk about every item?
I don't know, there's a poster that I'm currently
wrecking.
There's beer.
There's a couple of beers in here.
There's some sort of water drink.
It's perfect for hitting a mugger with on your way home.
There's a tin cup.
In case your vision fails.
You need to start
a new line of work.
You have to get your own pencils.
I didn't get pencils.
And there's other stuff.
There's food.
I stole a whole box
Of those kind bars
Oh
Yeah
That's something
That sounds like
It should have weed in it
Yeah
I could give my weed too
I don't smoke weed
I could go get my weed
As well
Oh that's okay
I'll take care of that
Okay
Oh here
Wow that is really
You really could
Fuck somebody up with this
Oh yeah Bam Eric let's test it out Oh, here. Wow, that is really... You really could fuck somebody up with this. Oh, yeah.
Bam!
Eric, let's test it out.
I know you used to be a bouncer.
Oh, don't forget the mangled poster.
Yeah.
All right.
Thank you, Dave.
What do you got for us, Eric?
Somebody's not going to be able to carry all this stuff.
Oh, I know.
It's an embarrassment of riches.
I have some incredible Caf Cafe Du Monde coffee.
Right?
So if you don't want
the real caffeine,
I am re-gifting
from the great people
at Spark
one joint.
The other two in the bag
are staying here.
Yeah.
And I'm here
with the wonderful
Cartoon Network program
We Bare Bears.
Oh.
Thank you.
Much smaller than your applause, Dave.
But a little more than yours.
This is a grizzly
bear phone charger.
This is a gray
or brown market. It's not licensed,
but they're not giving me a cut or a taste
of the merch anyway, so I don't
care. This has been my personal charger
throughout today, and it's now yours.
And I want to invite all
you to come to our show tomorrow night, We Bare Bears
Live, and turn or send down somebody
specifically to make sure we wouldn't do any
drug references.
Wait, what? How could
someone stop you from doing that?
We got a note
at Comic Con, the only time
the three of us have been there, and they handed Dimitri Martin
a note that said, stop talking about drugs.
No drug jokes.
So I talked to Cole,
the founder of the festival, and he
asked me, and then I went to Daniel
Chong, the creator, because we kind of knew if it went
to Turner, they probably wouldn't say yes.
And so then they've added
people to the list today to come on down
and make sure we're not talking too much about drugs.
Oh, okay. Tomorrow. So now it sounded like you could talk about it a little. If you want to on down and make sure we're not talking too much about drugs. Tomorrow.
If you want to pass the pen down, we're good.
If anybody doesn't watch We Bare Bears,
it's so good.
I love you.
I am not sure.
Both of you are voices
in two things that are very important to me.
Oh, Doug.
Bugs life.
Bugs life.
Bugs life.
Bugs life for life.
Bugs life.
Fuck ants.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Fuck ants.
Fuck those ugly.
Fuck ants, dude.
Those ugly brown pieces of shit.
Blue ants are where it's at.
Woody Allen was canceled as soon as ants came out, as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah. That was his, you know, that was like his second biggest crime.
If you ask me.
But honestly, I don't know. I don't mean to like pop off about Ants.
No, you, hey, you say what you have to say.
Yeah. I mean, I'll go off off i'll go off about ants i'm
sorry i look who the that movie fucking sucks like imagine i don't know how recently any of
you guys have watched ants but like imagine you're a child right you're a child and you're like oh
yeah i'm gonna see a cool cartoon movie about ants.
And then you go in and it's just like Woody Allen as an ant
going to therapy and shit.
You'd be like, yeah, fuck this movie, you know?
Yeah, fuck ants.
True story.
Right after I got hired to be in A Bug's Life,
I went back to work on my show News Radio
and I was telling everyone I was very proud. I said, oh, I got hired, be in A Bug's Life, I went back to work on my show News Radio,
and I was telling everyone I was very proud.
I said, oh, I got hired, I'm doing this movie.
It's a computer-generated animated movie,
and I'm the lead ant in this movie.
And they were all looking at me really, really sadly,
because that day there was an article in Variety saying,
Woody Allen to star in ant movie.
And I thought, oh, fuck, I got fired got fired wait did they put out
A Bug's Life
came out first
right
no Ants came out first
but they
but Ants like
Dreamworks knew
that A Bug's Life
was gonna come out
they pulled some shady shit
it was pitched to Disney
when
Jeffrey Katzenberg
was at Disney
and then
oddly enough
when he started out
at the Spielberg company,
whatever that company's called,
Geffen Spielberg-y,
then they
came up with their own ant movie
that looked almost exactly like the original drawings
for A Bug's Life.
And they asked us to
hold off on A Bug's Life until after
Prince of Persia came out.
And they would bury ants.
I just want to say how much I like Jeffrey Katzenberg
and appreciate the great work he's doing.
Here's your pen.
I think he's great. I think Geffen
is wonderful.
Underrated.
Despite what he did to Neil Young.
Geffen sued Neil Young for not being Neil Young.
What?
That was a bit.
I'm not a big Geffen guy.
He sued Neil Young for his 80s work, and he was breaking through.
Trans, electronica, craft work.
This is David Geffen?
David Geffen had a record label.
Oh, he was like, I mean, I don't want to speak out of turn, but he did some, like, pedo shit, right?
Is that?
Nope, nope. Wrong guy. Is that? Nope, nope.
Wrong guy.
Is that?
Wrong guy.
Is that a different Geffen?
Yeah, he's still all right.
That's a different, okay.
You mean Geppetto shit.
I mean, right.
Yeah.
He did the best puppet.
Oh, he did.
He did.
He turned a boy from wood.
You're right.
Yes.
Shit, that didn't sound easy.
Yes.
By the way, let's make some noise
for Bohemian Rhapsody and Bryan Singer real quick. What are you doing? let's make some noise for Bohemian Rhapsody and Bryan Singer
real quick
What are you doing?
Confusing everybody
No, but Bryan Singer
is, you know, he's a pedophile
and that's confirmed
Did he direct Bohemian Rhapsody?
He did
I think three people directed it
He got fired like two weeks before but his name's still on the thing and he's still profits He did. Well, he, you know, there's, I think, three people directed it, because they took him off at some point.
He got fired, like, two weeks before, but his name's still on the thing,
and he's still profits.
Yeah, because the director's guild gets to say who gets the director's credit.
For some reason, he got it.
Yeah.
But maybe they just drew straws.
Yeah.
I didn't mean to talk about pedophiles this much this early on the podcast.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
We'll be back with more pedophiles and cunnibals.
I gotta assume a lot of people at home
with Oculus Go headsets are pedophiles.
I mean, that's just a fair...
I mean, that's just a fair assumption, isn't it?
It's just truth, Dave.
If these people hate you for your truth, let them.
Yeah.
I didn't come here to make friends.
Nope.
And he's not.
No.
I mean, this is...
I'm going to feel bad for saying this,
but, you know, there's...
VR porn is big.
They're making VR child porn.
And that's...
I think that's bad.
Okay?
I'm not saying...
Okay, we're all on the record.
I'm not endorsing that.
I think it's bad.
We all agree that that's bad.
Let's all agree that VR child porn is bad.
And they shouldn't do it.
Can we get some applause going for that?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's give it up.
I think, yeah.
And Hitler.
I think child porn sucks.
Not cool.
Yeah.
Not cool, Hitler.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, I don't like what the South did in that Civil War.
No.
Yes.
Thumbs down here.
Come at me.
Go off.
Yes.
President Donald Trump, bad
in my opinion. Sorry.
Yep.
There are good and bad people in Trump.
He's both
sides.
Alright, let's get on to the giving away
of all this great stuff that you guys brought
because I'm about to say,
let the games begin!
Oh.
Lady and gentlemen,
this is the moment where you choose your name tags.
Just select whichever one you like the best.
And if we can get the house lights up a little bit so the VR folks can enjoy this portion of the show.
And we'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
All right.
We're back.
Great job, everybody.
Get back to him.
Let's see what we're dealing with here.
Martha, who do you got?
Oh, Scott. I saw this on the internet, and do you got? Oh, Scott.
I saw this on the internet and I liked it a lot.
It's Mary, Queen of Scots.
Yes.
Right? So he didn't have to
Photoshop anything, but he did put
our faces in over
Sursa, Ronan, and
Margot Robbie.
But we also have big fat joints
in our mouths.
So he got that wrong, but you still picked it.
Well, my policy is whoever is closest to the stage.
So I apologize to people farther back, but also not to take away from Scott.
It's a wonderful poster.
Great job, Scott.
But it was right in the front row.
We'll put it right down here now.
Brandon?
So this is, I read the name
of the person? On the front.
Okay, well they made the
sandlot. They did like a drawing.
It's very cute.
It's a cute little drawing.
Give it up
for that drawing.
Their faces are kind of in the style of the logo for this show.
And it says, The Sam Lot.
They're more than just a podcast.
They're the best buddies in the entire history of the world.
So this isn't really a podcast, though, The Sam Lot.
Where's Sam at?
Hi. Oh, it's a lady?
Hi, Sam.
Antha.
Did you know your name has the word ant in it?
Does anyone here have a name with the word bug in it?
But great selection there,
and good luck. You're going to need it
because Brandon's playing for you.
What do you got there, Dave?
I got Napoleon Dynamite.
Beautiful drawing.
And he's got some of the cast
of Napoleon Dynamite here
and John Hodgman for some reason.
That's Napoleon Dynamite's brother.
That was John Hodgman?
I didn't know.
Yeah, his brother's a judge.
I gotta go back and watch that again.
Don't say that on the back.
Leave that alone.
That's for later, right?
Walk away from that.
And I picked this because it was easy to hold.
Right, it's not heavy.
I've made the mistake of getting really big ones before.
Yeah, well, Eric got a really big one.
Yeah.
Look at that shit.
Billing him softly.
There was also a really good No Country for Old Men one there,
and I threw them a joint, so they're already a winner.
But, I mean, look at that Photoshop.
That's just impressive.
That's really good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can I keep this one, Bill?
And is your name Nat?
Natalie.
Oh, I forgot to say, you're not going to win.
It's because I'm really terrible at all these games.
Well, now it's feeling like it's anybody's game.
Yeah.
I don't know how to handicap this one.
But yeah, you go ahead and throw that down on the ground there, Eric.
And the first game we're going to play, we're going to try to get through three games today. how to handicap this one. But yeah, you go ahead and throw that down on the ground there, Eric.
And the first game we're going to play,
we're going to try to get through three games today.
And this first one is called Swift Justice.
Yeah.
It's a game that's going to go away soon,
and you'll find out why in a second.
Because we played it a bunch of times.
I'm a Taylor Swift fan. And she has a bunch of songs that just happen to be a bunch of times. I'm a Taylor Swift fan,
and she has a bunch of songs that just happen to be the titles of movies.
Her title of her song is also the title of a movie.
They don't have anything to do with each other,
but it does happen.
And so I'm going to read the IMDb page description
of this movie that is also the title of a Taylor Swift song,
and each of you just guess as often as you'd like, and the first person who names it correctly IMDb page description of this movie that is also the title of a Taylor Swift song.
And each of you just guess as often as you'd like.
And the first person who names it correctly wins.
And if the description isn't enough, then I will give a clue that should help.
Are we supposed to just jump in and guess or wait until you call on us? Well, I know you like to interrupt and you're real brash.
But yeah, just say it
as soon as it comes into your head.
Okay.
Yeah, and guess as many times as you like.
There's no wrong answers,
just answers that won't win you the game.
Are you ready for it?
I like it.
You guys are intense.
When Jesse Lujak steals a car in Las Vegas
and drives down to L.A.
I already have an issue with this
because you drive across to L.A.
Not down to it.
It's not San Diego.
Oh, fuck.
I know this one.
God damn it.
You think you know it?
Yeah, but I can't remember it.
Well, when Jesse Lujak, also Lujak,
and he's stealing a car, that's silly.
Steals a car in Las Vegas.
Maybe they named the LoJack after this guy.
So he stole a car in Las Vegas, drives down to L.A.
His criminal ways only escalate.
Yeah, I knew this was going to be a tough one.
Is it Trouble?
No, but that's a great guess.
Bad Blood?
No.
Okay.
But it is a Taylor Swift song.
And then this is the end of the description in IMDb.
It says his criminal ways have escalated.
But when will it end?
The sooner the better, I thought,
while I was watching it.
Nothing? Nothing?
A little clarification.
Who's Taylor Swift?
She works with Eric's wife, grooming dogs.
She blows all the dogs.
All right, here's some clues,
and these are clues with regards to what the title is,
not necessarily what happened in the movie.
I wanted less, not more,
and it didn't leave me out of breath.
Is it breathless?
Yes.
Martha Kelly won that first game.
See, I told you anybody could take this down, Martha.
That's a backhanded compliment.
But I'm trying to remember the Taylor Swift song Breathless.
Does anyone...
Could somebody hum a few bars?
I don't know it.
I think it was in her more country time.
I got into her more when she got poppy.
Like red or 1989?
Which one?
I like a little bit of Red and I like all of 1989
and I even like Reputation
What can you do?
I don't love Red
I thought Red
Red was her first pop album
and people act like
1989 was her first pop album
and it pisses me off
Wow, you're really out there
fighting the good fight
Yeah, I get pissed off
when I think about this
You're picking the right battles out there fighting the good fight. I get pissed off when I think about this.
You're picking the right battles.
Because, see, I saw when Kanye got up at that award show, I thought,
well, he seems to know what he's talking about.
So I've just not paid any attention to him.
While he was talking, like, what?
So I figured, I'm not going to listen to her stuff.
That's reasonable.
But yeah, I don't know the Breathless song,
but Breathless, the movie's been made a couple of times,
but that one was the one with Richard Gere
was the one I was describing.
Yeah.
I had a neighbor with a speech impediment
and my mom couldn't figure out why
Louise kept telling her to see Breadless.
She's like, Dan, I can't figure out this movie.
Breadless? Breathless.
A medium anecdote.
But I ordered a large.
Alright.
So, Martha, you get to go first in our next game.
Exciting.
Sorry.
And it's called How Long Is It?
Yeah, this is fun because I'm gonna name a thing
and then you guys have to guess
how long it is
Okay
How come you keep blowing smoke
when I've got the pen over here?
This is a jewel
My daughter's friends have those
Is it like
How old is your daughter?
I get...
Wait, how old is your daughter?
She's 15.
Okay.
Yeah, I...
Yeah.
I don't know.
We won't let her have one
because we're unreasonable.
I get shamed for it.
It's like
vaping for kids.
That's their business model.
Am I supposed...
I'm trying to quit cigarettes.
This is what I'm doing.
I'm applauding you. I'm getting shamed
by everyone in this. I'm getting shamed
by a hundred
people right now.
There's avatars just shaking their heads.
It's good.
But it's like, I don't know what the,
should I like carry around a giant vaping rig?
I'm not judging you.
Thank you.
I'm not judging.
I'm just stating a fact about my daughter's friends.
Okay.
But what's in a Juul?
Isn't it more like a nicotine thing?
Yeah.
Okay.
You like that too, Eric?
Yeah, it's nice.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Sure.
You're going to get hooked, dude.
Oh, man.
Thank you, buddy.
Eric, you were on the Twin Peaks TV show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought of it just because I can imagine that that set
had a lot of people standing around smoking cigarettes
all day. Oh, my gosh, Doug.
One point,
one point, I looked
over, and I swear, David
Lynch was sitting there on a tiny
stool with a cigarette
and a megaphone and a
fire extinguisher and like he ready for anything
yeah yeah and the whole time and then david kechner played my brother and we were just staring at him
and then kechner went to get the set photographer to take a picture but he he looked at us it's kind
of like when you catch someone doing something what You're like, what are you guys doing over there? No, that picture's no.
No, uh-uh.
I had the fire extinguisher because I got a warning from the Glendale Police Department yesterday.
True.
Yeah.
They told him fires were in the area?
Well, we were in an old police department where you're not allowed to smoke.
And so somebody's like, well, yeah,
I guess you could do if you had a fire extinguisher there.
Okay, thank you.
And just to be on the safe side, sir,
a megaphone.
Well, I need to be heard, Dave Foley.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's a first and last name guy, isn't he?
Yeah.
Well, he just calls you your character name.
And even when I see him now, it's amazing and the coolest
because the show was a dream to be on.
Also, when I was on Joey with Dave Foley, I couldn't believe it.
I could not believe it.
I was still bouncing at the time.
But it was a dream to be on.
What was the question?
That thing of yours works.
Sorry.
I'm with you now, brother brother this is why empathy's good
i wanted to see where you're at hell yes hell yes but anytime okay i got it i'm rallying that must
be a sativa anytime i see him now huh anytime i see him now he not only refers to me only as my
character name in the best way he'll start asking me detailed questions about detective Fusco how are your brothers they're really
good well how's your mom doing I'm like oh you know my brothers don't want to go
over there oh wow detective is she doing the big dinners on Sunday and it's like
this magical thing because we're like his creations and his characters and
then he he'll ask us and we're all just ready.
He's got his own
real life Sims going on.
When you talk
to him you have to go method like years
after? I'm ready for anything and I'm
Detective Fusco.
I'm the giggling detective for life
and I can't believe he's there and I'm like,
I'm going to wake up and this ain't real.
I'm back at the Starbucks in Highlander, Franklin.
I got fired from it.
Oh, that's a nice Starbucks.
No, they steal your tips and then
if you, say, restrain somebody
from taking your tips, they write you up for violating
your star skills.
For real. Oh, yeah.
I'm like, well, the guy takes our tips.
I'm like, you can't
restrain him.
I'm like, well,
are you going to
reimburse us our tips?
They're like, no.
I'm like, well,
so he's just running
out of our tips
and that's an extra
four bucks an hour here.
And then shortly thereafter,
I was asked to leave.
You were out.
I was out.
Oh, so anyway,
I was explaining how a game works.
Any whoozle.
Okay, so I'm going to say how long something that's a length.
And you guys get a guess.
And the person closest without going over is the winner
And we'll start with you Martha
You get to guess first because you won that last game
And the question is
How long
Did the actors
Who played the Oneeders
I mean the Wonders
How long
Did they rehearse together as a band
Before
Starting shooting Tom Hanks' directorial debut, That Thing You Do?
How long did they rehearse as a band before the movie started?
Yeah, they got together, they rehearsed, got ready to be a band together.
And then I believe in the actual movie they it's all fake it's all fake voices
and instruments I can't imagine why they did it at all but I'm gonna guess six
months I apologize for laughing that's not how this game should work.
All right.
Should I write that down?
What do you think, Brandon?
Like two months?
You're asking me?
You think I know?
I meant to... I used the wrong punctuation.
Two months. Okay. Is that... Two used the wrong punctuation. Two months.
Okay.
Two M-O's.
And Martha, you did six M-O's.
All right.
Dave?
Six weeks, 14 hours.
Oh.
I like specificity.
Six weeks, 14 hours, you say?
Yeah.
That was a long day.
It's whoever comes closest without going over, right?
Yep.
It's like Price is Right.
Exactly like Price is Right with your friend Drew Carey.
Eric?
Seven months, Doug.
Did you hear me laugh at Martha's six months?
I just know how they lie on sets about how hard they work to prepare.
And it's bullshit 90% of the time.
Like, yeah, we had them do army training.
And you're like, I fired a gun
and you said to bend over if my knee didn't hurt.
No.
Bradley Cooper trained for two years to lower his
voice.
Two years to go
other.
I just did it. He watched.
Just did it now.
Two years, Bradley.
He watched Sam Elliott movies
and then hired him to
be in it so he could just listen to him and then repeat.
Just say it back.
I passive-aggressively started doing Instagram stories
as Chris Christopherson after I read that.
Just to show, like, darkness washed over the dude.
Like, remember when you,
there's not a day that goes by
I don't think about our lost little beauty queen, JonBenet.
Chris did a JonBenet movie, the good one.
Can I change my answer?
Who was that?
What was he talking about?
He did Behind the Music, too.
He did.
Jerry checked into Betty Ford, but he never checked out.
Sad.
Have you guys seen Green Room?
If you want something terrible to happen to Eric
check that movie out.
I die in everything.
You didn't die in Twin Peaks did you?
No.
I'm starting to live.
Alright good.
You didn't die on Joey.
Yeah. Got right, good. And you'd die on Joey. Yeah.
Got dark season two.
Martha, you had a question?
Can I change my answer?
Yes.
I'm going to go six days.
Oh, wow.
Does anybody else
want to change?
Anybody? You're all good?
All right. Locked in?
Want to switch yours to six months, Eric?
Obviously, yeah. I thought it, but didn't
want to say it. Take the six, yeah.
Okay.
Well,
to recap,
Eric is not gonna win Brandon gave them too much
Can I change it?
Or did he?
Can I change it to a month?
Nope
Okay
That's fine
You're stuck with that answer
Great
Dave went six weeks and 14 hours, undercutting Brandon by about two weeks.
And this is crazy because I wrote it down.
I said it differently than you did, Brandon.
Uh-huh.
But it's eight weeks.
Oh!
Two months!
Great.
You did it!
Well done.
You did it! Well done. You did it!
Thank you.
Great.
Huge.
Super amazing.
I was like, I was going to change my answer.
Yeah.
Well, one month.
You still would have won one month, I think.
Yeah.
I would have won.
Dave would have won.
Yeah.
So you almost cost yourself the win.
No, I'm happy.
I'm happy with my decision.
It really worked out great. Yeah. So you almost cost yourself the win. No, I'm happy. I'm happy with my decision. It really worked out great.
Yeah.
Everybody's so happy.
Everyone's so proud of me.
Yeah.
Great.
So great.
I love it.
All right.
You get to go first in our final game of this evening that's going to determine who the
winner is today and who all the prizes go to.
And that game is, we haven't played it in a minute
but I love it it's called Bennington
and it's named after
legendary radio personality
Ron Bennington rest in peace I'm kidding
he's alive
but he's great and he
suggested this game to me and I love it
here's how it works
I'll name
an actor or actress,
and then each of you, starting with Brandon,
and then we'll go to, which way are we going?
We'll go to Martha, then Eric, and then Dave.
You'll go around.
And also, we'll...
Each of you will get a chance to go first in this game.
But Brandon's gonna be first in the first round.
Oh, my God.
It's like watching The Rock on that Titans thing.
No, he's good at explaining those things they have to climb on.
I'll name somebody.
You have to try to guess what's in their top three,
hopefully number one,
top three movies at the box office
of all time, domestic,
according to boxofficemojo.com.
Top three in order?
After Adjusting for Inflation.
Just one of the top three?
Yeah, you name one movie,
and you're hoping it's in the top three.
Because number one's worth three points,
number two's worth two,
number three's worth one.
Great.
And what do you think is in the top three, Brandon, of Mr. Zac Efron?
Oh.
He's a big favorite in these parts.
Probably, oh, shit.
They call him the San Francisco tree.
I'm gonna say...
Can we say...
Oh, 17 again.
Okay.
17 again.
Yeah, Zach's in there.
Yeah, good job.
Thanks.
Yeah.
What do you think, Martha?
Does anyone
know the name of the one
where he's in a
fraternity next door to some
neighbors who don't like him?
It's called Neighbors.
Don't tell her.
Don't tell her.
Quiet VR people.
I actually think it might
not be in the top three,
but I'll guess Neighbors.
Okay.
Oh.
He's in that.
Eric?
Old Grandpa.
Oh, it's Dirty Grandpa.
Dirty Grandpa?
It's definitely not in the top three.
This is a panel who's going to help each other, I think.
Let's all get through this together.
So is that your final answer?
Final answer.
Dirty Grandpa.
Old Dirty Grandpa.
ODG.
You down with ODG?
You know me.
Dave, what do you think?
What was that other movie?
Oh, yes! That one!
Everybody's got one in their heads, but don't say them out loud. It's just
between the people on stage.
I'm sorry if you weren't
aware of that. I can give you a hint.
Is that legal? No. Is that legal?
Will you stop saying something?
Then I'm gonna have to
go. Oh, yeah, good point.
I'm gonna have to...
But no, there's no lifelines in this game.
Then Natalie, apologies.
I'm going to have to go with Neighbors 2.
That's the only other movie I can think of.
That's how the game was played, I think.
That's a smart answer.
If it's in the top three.
Yeah.
We'll see.
I've got it written down right here.
Is this just one round of this game?
Nope.
Oh.
It's going to go on for...
It's going to go for hours.
We've got...
Let's see how much time we've got left.
Yeah, we've got time.
Not hours, but it's going to go for four rounds
and then a tiebreaker if necessary.
Yeah, so everybody has a decent shot of doing well in this.
So far, it's not going great.
But we do have some points on the board
because coming in at number three is Neighbors.
This looks good for me.
Oh, you think the sequel
made more than the original?
Yeah.
Does that happen?
That does happen.
Oh, yeah.
Empire Strikes Back.
Maybe that rings a bell.
Yeah.
I bet you after adjusting
for inflation,
the original Star Wars
is still higher.
Why don't you shut up?
Why don't you shut up?
for inflation, the original Star Wars is still fire. Why don't you shut up?
Why don't you shut up?
Okay, so
Martha has one point.
And coming in at number
two for Mr. Efron is
The Greatest Showman.
The Greatest Showman.
Yes. That was fun.
I watched
that on cable and have so many complaints.
But I still like it.
And then coming in at number one, Dr. Seuss' The Lorax.
Who knew Zac Efron was in that?
And has a voice that should be in an animated movie.
Did he just play Zac Efron?
I thought that it was like Zac Efron vehicles.
What do you mean?
Like what kind of cars does he drive?
What's in his top three cars?
I thought it was like top billed Zac Efron movies.
I mean, I wouldn't have guessed the Lorax.
No, that's a shock on two levels.
One, that Zac Efron's in it.
And two, that's a shock on two levels. One, that Zac Efron's in it, and two, that
someone saw it.
Yeah, it was incredibly popular.
It made more money than The Greatest
Showman or Neighbors.
But let me just
re-explain, or
be clear with
Brandon, that it's...
You just want to guess a movie that they're in
in any way, shape, or form. If they're in it enough to be
recognized. Sure.
I'm not going to put people that, you know, like,
what's his name? But
laughter
No example ready.
laughter
laughter
But I think
you know what I mean. Okay, so
what order were we going in there
okay so Martha gets to go first in this next round
and she's the only one with one
point
it's 0-0-0
yeah
and the crowd goes wild
we got a long
way to go and a short time to get there
watch old bandit run
coming in our second name We got a long way to go and a short time to get there. Watch old bandit run.
Coming in, our second name, starting with you, Martha, is the films of Rob Riggle.
Rob Riggle, hilarious dude.
Been on this show.
Character actor, appears in a lot of things.
Also football. on this show character actor appears in a lot of things also football got any wriggles
I can picture
him on the screen
but
there he is
what's he wearing
is he in There he is. What's he wearing?
Is he in... I don't see a lot of movies, so...
He's in...
I can't.
I'm going to pass.
Okay.
Sorry.
That's fair.
You're way out in the lead, so don't worry about it.
What do you think, Eric? 21 Jump Street.
What?
I thought it wasn't...
Was Riggle in that?
No, that's...
I thought it was Martha and then me.
I'm pissed off.
Again.
Yeah, we're going around that way now
I was so ready
you'll get to go
first last though
so that's
that's always great
who's next
you are sir
me
what was that movie
where they were
like marines
on horseback
in Afghanistan
oh right
I always
every time I saw
a poster for that movie
I was like
that's gonna be a bitch
to remember on my show.
Because it's got a long title.
Yeah.
The men who rode some horses into battle,
and it worked out okay.
And then fell from grace to the sea.
I think it did.
I don't know.
Did they win that battle with the horses?
I think they won it.
Why would you make the movie if they lost?
That's not America.
God.
I don't know what that thing's called,
but I'll save you a little trouble
and say it's not in his top three.
Okay.
You know, I love Rob Riggle.
Wait, what did Eric say?
21 Jump Street.
Just don't see it here.
But I can't think of any movies Rob's in at all.
Yeah, no, he just kind of pops into stuff.
He's always great.
Okay, Brandon, do you have one?
21 Jump Street 2.
Oh, my God.
22 Jump Street.
22 Jump Street.
I get to say it.
22 Jump Street. You I get to say it. 22 Jump Street.
You did get to say that.
But is he in it?
Well, which one of us got that guess?
Well, because I said it.
We just got to go to the judges.
That's just me, unfortunately.
I thought of one he might be in.
Oh.
We don't.
This isn't.
This is.
We're in a serious juncture in the show where everybody's playing to win,
so I can't really help you out there, Martha.
But like I said, you're still way in the lead.
Coming in at number three, 22 Jump Street!
Okay.
Oh, yeah, it's not mine.
So now Brandon's on the board with one.
And then Rob Riggle's number two, of course.
I don't know why you guys didn't think of this,
is Dr. Seuss' The Lorax.
And that was the other guy's number one.
So Riggle's got one bigger.
Yeah, Riggle's got something bigger,
and it's called, his number one is The Hangover.
Oh.
He's the guy that, you know,
tasers Zach Galifianakis and then laughs about it.
Is he in the scene with Brody?
Oh, yeah, Brody's in there.
You got it.
Positive energy.
Yeah.
Enjoy it. The Hangover. I love when, I love seeing Brody's in there You got it positive energy Enjoy it
The hangover
I love seeing Brody do a set where he just reenacts
That scene verbatim
You know what
They call this place Loserville
Hangover one
In it hangover two in it
Funny people got cut out of it
What about hangover 3?
I don't know.
I don't think he's in it.
I don't think he is either.
He's in Due Date.
Hmm?
He's in Due Date?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I'm a big Brody Stevens fan.
This isn't Brody Stevens movies.
Yeah.
But that was a fun detour.
And for recapping purposes,
Brandon, you have one,
Martha has one,
and Dave and Eric are still
struggling
to be relevant.
You got this.
Wait, where are we at now?
Dave gets to go first, right?
I do?
Because Eric went first on the last one, didn't he?
Eric goes first?
Yes.
What the fuck is with you people? Eric goes first? Yes. Okay.
What the fuck is with you people?
Wait, but who went first on that last round?
It's not a huge... I think Martha did, right?
Martha did?
Yeah.
I went first the first round.
No, wait.
No, you're right.
They're right.
Doug, it definitely shouldn't be Dave.
Did I fuck up?
I did go first the very last round.
Both times?
I read the handbook on the way here, and it definitely isn be Dave. Did I fuck up? I did go first the very last time. Both times? I read the handbook
on the way here
and it definitely isn't Dave.
No, I didn't go first
because it was...
No, I went first
but I passed.
You did.
You still went first.
That threw me off.
I apologize.
You still went first.
So I should not have
let her go first
but everything worked out great.
Dave, you're up first.
Okay.
Because Eric kind of was.
Eric kind of was last round.
Yeah.
All right, so what do you think of the films?
Can you tell me what's in the top three of the films of Ed Helms?
Ed Helms, of course, The Office was a TV show that he was on.
The Hangover.
Okay.
A little louder next time, though.
Brandon?
The Hangover 2.
Interesting.
Martha?
I'm going to get off the hangover train and say vacation.
Although I'm not entirely sure that's the title,
but it is based on the old National Lampoon Vacation,
but it's a new one.
Yep, they did do that.
Is it called National Lampoon's Vacation?
I don't think this time around it was, but I'd accept either.
All right, I'll do both. Okay.
Eric?
I believe Ed Helms had a small part
in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Really?
With little confidence.
What did he do?
It seems like something he'd be in.
Oh, okay.
I think he played Catherine Keener in every other scene.
It was a bold choice,
but kind of cool.
It was weird, but I loved it.
Alright.
Alright.
Congratulations
to whoever said The Hangover.
It was me.
That's three points for Dave
Because that's number one
And then congratulations to whoever said
Hangover part two
Which I believe was Martha
No I said
Congratulations to Martha
So
Alright so that's two more points
For Brandon so that's exciting
And then
Let's see.
Oh, his number three movie?
As it turns out, Dr. Seuss is the Lorax.
I don't know.
It's like everybody but us
It's starting to hurt
Dave and Brandon now are in the lead
In a tie with three points each
And then Martha has one
And Eric, thank you for joining us
Thank you for being here, Eric
And Brandon, this is your chance to go first
You can really bring this home
Because it's the films
of Danny DeVito.
That short guy.
That he's in.
Not that he directed.
Yeah.
I don't know.
He hasn't directed anything that would be in his top three.
So we don't need to worry
about it.
Batman, right?
Batman. Yeah. top three, so we don't need to worry about it. Batman, right? What?
Batman. Returns.
Yeah. Everybody was getting so pissed off.
I mean,
they just know you gotta say the right words.
Returns. And Batman was wrong.
But he is, of course,
and Batman returns.
Martha?
The great Danny DeVito.
I'm trying to guess between
Throw Mama from the Train and Twins.
And I'm not getting any response
from the audience that would help.
There's a real interesting attempt there.
I'm just gonna go...
Get them to tell you. I'm just gonna go get them to tell you.
I'm just gonna go with
I'm gonna go with
twins.
Okay.
Now you support that choice.
I'm gonna say
romancing the stone.
So serious.
I'm at zero
I'm going to say
Jewel of the Nile
The sequel of course
Alright this is
I'm really excited about what's going to happen here
Because
I haven't gone yet
I don't think yet, but...
I don't think you're going to win.
Fair enough. Sorry, Natalie.
What do you think, Dave?
The films of Dave DeVito.
Now, you've taken Romancing the Stone
out of the running.
And Twins and Batman Returns.
The Twins was also ready.
You've already been picked.
This is not going to win
But it's a good movie
War of the Roses
That is good, he directed it, he's in it
And it's a good movie
Yeah, I like that movie a lot
He's also in Cuckoo's Nest
But I didn't think that adjusted for inflation
Probably not
Alright, so
Danny DeVito's number one
You can't guess again
is it too late to change it to the you can't change it i keep forgetting that that's the one
god damn it i even said at the beginning you know david you know that short guy almost said
he's like a lorax but I didn't because that would be too much
of a clue. I could feel the wheels turning.
I was thinking the same. Isn't
he the Lorax?
Yeah. He is the titular
character in the Lorax. He's the tit.
He's the tit. He's the tit in the
Lorax. Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. I always say that
about him. Danny DeVito,
he's the tit.
Oh, let's see how I want to reveal this.
Twins, I'm sorry, came in at number five.
That's unbelievable.
But I changed it to the Lorax, so...
Which is funny, because that came in at number six.
Yeah, DeVito's been killing it.
He doesn't need no fucking Lorax.
I mean, his number three is Austin Powers in Goldmember.
Oh.
Which I guess he has a cameo in or something.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
His number one, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Oh, wow.
The 70s was a glorious period
for film.
You're right.
Films like that
were huge box office hits.
I'm sorry,
I just wanted to be
an old man for a few seconds.
Yeah, the movie was huge
and then they adjusted for inflation and it makes it number a few seconds. Yeah, the movie's huge, and then they adjust it for inflation
and it makes it number one.
But coming in at number two, you did it, Brandon.
Great.
Batman Returns.
Yes.
So that means Brandon gets a couple extra points,
bringing him to five total, which makes him the winner today!
Oh.
Great.
I am sorry I ever
doubted you. I know you did.
Did you... You guys remember that?
Yeah. No, I totally doubted you.
And that's what's great. I love an underdog
story. And I love
this Billing Them Softly poster
very much. and it's
actually got scoot McNary's name on there he's been a guest on this show but
one more time for Brandon Wardell for winning
oh the billing them softly doesn't have a shithead on the back do you want to do
you want to write it down on here I I'll give you a pen and everything.
Come on down here, dude.
How you doing, Bill?
You can just write right here on the stage if you want.
Do you want a gray Sharpie or a black one?
Take the black one.
And yeah, write down whoever you want there
for me to call a shithead here at the end.
And thanks.
And let's say hello again and get some plugs for Mr. Eric Edelstein.
What's tomorrow night?
Tomorrow night, We Bare Bears Live.
We Bare Bears Live.
Yes.
Woo.
Which venue is that at?
The Marines Memorial Theater.
Ooh, that's nice.
No, I do like that place.
I've been there a few times and
I might, you know, not to get you all excited
or anything, but I might come by tomorrow night.
I'd be so fired up. That sounds like fun.
Holy shit. Matt, thank you for being here,
dude. Thank you. Dave Foley,
what do you got to plug? Well, it's
Story Pirates tomorrow morning.
Now, isn't it true, though,
that a lot of pirates are cunts?
Yeah.
I mean, they steal
and they're just mean people.
They pillage and...
I can't remember the lyrics
to the song.
But they're not good people, pirates.
Totally.
Totally.
As a breed.
I'm not sure if they're bred, but
somehow they get pirates and they're not nice.
But your show's gonna be
fun for the whole family. Yeah, it's a family show.
The bottom line. Totally family show. It's not your podcast.
Don't say the C word. No, it's not. Don't say cunt.
Okay. How's that listed
on iTunes or whatever?
We don't know yet. We haven't launched it.
Don't say blank with Paul and Dave.
Oh, don't say blank with Paul and Dave. I like that
because the blank could change. Yeah, but it probably
won't because that's a lot of work.
Okay, Bill.
Brandon?
Yeah, but still, my podcast.
You can listen to my podcast on the internet you know and uh i don't really have any uh
exciting finish yeah this is like well you know this is i i did my uh shows last night so i don't
really have any sf dates to plug and uh i don't, I probably won't be on the road until like March or something,
but just go online
and search my name
and then go from there.
Just keep in mind
that a lot of people
who don't leave their houses
are watching or listening to this.
Yeah, just follow me
on all the websites.
Yeah.
Go on the web.
See if there's some
Brandon Wardell in your area.
I forgot to mention the Who's Live Anyway
gigs coming up. So let's go see
those Who's Live Anyway gigs.
And also
there's going to be something coming up
this next year with the kids in the hall.
Yes.
Is it
going to be a murder?
Are you sick of each other?
And Martha Kelly, what do you got to plug?
Tonight at 10.30, which is past a lot of people's bedtimes, including mine,
I will be at Cobb's Comedy Club with Mary Lynn Rice Cobb and Dwayne Perkins.
Bob's Comedy Club with Mary Lynn Rice Cobb and Dwayne Perkins.
And then I'm in a movie that may or may not ever get distributed.
Oh, tell us. But it's supposed it's going to be coming out after the end of this month.
It's called Corporate Animals and it stars Demi Moore and Jessica Williams and Ed Helms.
And so I don't, I've never tried to promote a movie.
I don't know if this is the best way to do it.
And also, no, I might hardly be in it.
I haven't seen it.
I might have been cut out.
And then that's...
On the set of that movie, did you work with Ed Helms?
Yeah, a little bit.
Did he talk a lot about how much money Vacation made?
I would like to pin
my heartbreaking loss
on him,
but I can't.
Can I plug one movie?
Yeah.
There's this movie
I Love You Daddy.
Okay, this is...
This is not the time.
I'm sorry.
Wait, I mean,
it's absolutely not available
for anybody to see, right?
You can find it.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You can steal it?
Because that's how I'd like to watch it.
Yeah, I think you can find it.
I think it's literally just all on YouTube now.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I'm sorry I said that.
I didn't mean to.
I feel bad now.
This isn't live or anything.
Oh, it is just for today, actually.
Right.
I really thought you had a movie to plug, buddy.
No.
Okay.
And then what's going on with Baskets, Martha, the best show?
We are shooting season four starting in February,
and then probably it'll be on the TV in early June.
We might all be dead by then, let's face it.
But if we're not, just because of Trump, don't kid yourselves.
But if we're alive, it'll be on FX probably this summer.
Cool.
Yeah.
I love it.
Oh, and we'll see you tomorrow at the Benson Movie Interruption.
Right.
Of Fifty Shades Freed.
Are you excited about that?
I'm really uncomfortable.
It's a sex movie, and I'm super uncomfortable.
So I can't wait.
I mean, if it's anything like the first two parts,
there's not that much sex. And you could, you know,
maybe run out of the room for a few minutes during the uncomfortable parts.
Honestly, for a movie that claims
to be a very horny movie,
Fifty Shades of Grey,
it feels like it was written by
somebody that's never had sex.
Yeah, because the girl would not sign the contract.
That's how the first movie ends.
Will you sign my love contract?
I'll think about it.
Elevator doors close.
Credits.
What?
I just sat through that?
But we're doing it.
We're watching the third one tomorrow.
And bless you if that was a sneeze in the audience.
Oh, could I just say, for fans of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, check out porn.
Just a suggestion.
I'm sitting here looking at the clock going,
why do we have a few minutes left?
What did I do wrong?
Because usually I time it out pretty good.
And I forgot to ask you guys,
do you guys mind staying for a few more minutes?
I forgot to ask everybody what the last movie
they saw was.
So,
raise your hand
if you remember.
Because it's sometimes
it catches you off guard.
It's hard.
It's like that question,
what'd you have for breakfast?
Can I confer with my wife?
Yeah.
What?
What?
What?
You could say,
you,
the favorite. Yeah, mine was the favorite. Was it? Yeah. say... The favorite.
Yeah, mine was the favorite.
Was it?
Yeah.
Was it your favorite?
I really enjoyed it.
It's really fun.
I loved The Lobster.
It was a great movie,
and I thought this was really fun.
And I'll have to plug my own show again.
They said cunt a lot in it.
Eric?
Hard to follow.
I just saw
the Pope of Greenwich Village.
Oh, at the New Beverly?
It reopened, yeah.
And oh my gosh,
it was incredible.
It took my thumbs.
It took my thumbs, Charlie.
It took my thumbs, Charlie.
So good.
I had no idea
Eric Roberts was,
wow.
Yeah.
So good.
Yeah, he's phenomenally irritating in that movie.
Oh, man.
No, like if you knew him.
You know what I mean?
Like the character's a very unpleasant guy, but he means well.
Yeah, and I went down a big Google rabbit hole of Eric Roberts,
and apparently he will literally do anything now
where he will star in Realtors videos showing houses.
This is not a joke.
He's proud of it.
I think it's awesome.
I think it's a character actor ethos,
especially, you know,
they pay us a little less nowadays.
But yeah, if you have a home to show,
Eric Roberts will show up.
He's like, yeah, I just show up
and it's my wife and kids for the day
and I go home
and hopefully they sell the house.
Check clears.
And if you can't get Eric, call me.
In, in.
If you can't get Dave, call me. In. If you can't get Dave, call me.
My rate's a lot lower.
Yeah.
I gotta catch up on my wife.
And then, Brandon, what was the last movie you saw?
I'm like, I'm racking my brain.
Right?
It can be tough to think of sometimes.
It's hard.
Because I go to the movies.
It sounds like I've never been to the movies before.
I've been to a theater and seen
a movie.
Watched the whole thing, didn't you?
I mean,
I remember I was home for the
holidays and showed my parents 8th grade.
Great movie.
What, you mean you open up your
annual and they...
Yearbook? Fuck.
Wrong word. Do they have yearbooks in 8th grade? What, you mean you open up your annual yearbook? Fuck. Yeah.
Wrong word.
Do they have yearbooks in eighth grade?
I think they do, right?
What's that?
They have yearbooks that early, eighth grade?
Yeah, they have yearbooks in elementary school.
What?
What about pre-K?
Do they have yearbooks?
I don't think so.
We don't do that in Canada.
But that movie, Eighth Grade, oh boy.
So good.
That's great.
Yeah.
I hope it gets a screenplay nomination at the Oscars.
Yeah.
That'd be cool.
Martha, what do you think?
Last night on the plane, I re-watched Moana, and it's fantastic.
Yeah.
True.
I actually did just...
I remembered what the last movie...
It's Martha's turn.
I'm sorry. Leave. She has a I remembered what the last movie was. It's Martha's turn.
Leave.
She has a lot more to say about Moana.
It is so,
Moana's really good.
Yeah.
I loved it.
But what were you going to say?
No, I did just remember the last movie I watched,
and it's a bad answer,
but I,
like, I, somebody showed me Garden State for the first time
and it sucks. It doesn't
hold up.
It fucking, it's so bad.
The original documentary
or the dramatized film about
the documentary? No, you're thinking of
Grey Gardens.
Grey Gardens, that's right.
Because I was going to figure, why are you so down on Grey Gardens. Grey Gardens. That's right. Oh, no, I'm... Yeah.
Because I was going to figure,
why are you so down on... Grey Gardens is pretty good.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm sorry to...
was Zach Braff's directorial debut.
Natalie Portman was in it.
Yeah.
And mostly known for,
apparently, the soundtrack.
It, like, invented
the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Yeah, that too. And then it was like, yeah, the soundtrack, It like invented the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
Yeah, that too. And then it was like, yeah,
the soundtrack, a lot of the shins, a lot of
like, Natalie Portman
is random. She plays
somebody who, she literally in the movie is like,
oh, sorry, I'm random.
And I was like, I got very,
I got really mad.
That movie ruined a lot of good music for me.
Yeah.
I can't listen to the Shins now.
No.
And they're a good band.
Oh, they're a great band.
What do you think of the ankles?
You know what?
All right.
You should put on a Shins album and then watch Grey Gardens.
Just to right yourself with the Shins album and then watch Grey Gardens. Just to write yourself
with the Shins. That's a perfect
place to leave this. One more time
for Eric Edelstein,
Dave Foley, Brandon Wardell,
Martha Kelly.
Sam!
Sam, come get all your
stuff. Holy crap. You won so
much stuff. Come get it, Sam.
Sorry, Nat.
Or one of Sam's representatives.
Someone that knows Sam.
Oh, there you are.
Hi.
Congratulations.
This one's really heavy.
So be careful of that.
And good luck with all of it.
I hope you can get through customs.
If you travel to be here.
And yeah, I don't have anything else that I want to plug
other than the usual douglovesmovies.com.
Congratulations, Sam.
And as always, Office Depot is a shithead.
That's a great poster. Pop-Tarts without frosting is a shithead. That's a great poster.
Pop-Tarts without
frosting is a shithead.
And people who drive white
Ford Explorers and trick me into thinking
they are a police car behind
me are
shitheads.
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See you next time.
No I won't. It's only audio.
Now it's
time for Doug to watch another
talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing
prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies!