Doug Loves Movies - Dave (Gruber) Allen, Sean Jordan and Trey Galyon guest
Episode Date: July 16, 2018Live from Wise Guys in Salt Lake City, Doug welcomes Dave (Gruber) Allen, Sean Jordan and Trey Galyon to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice... at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody!
Hey!
My name is Doug.
Listen, if you're gonna just fuck everything up, thank you for letting me know right out of the gate.
I'm not allowed to pause now
without the audience just filling in
what I was going to say.
I should just come and sit up here quietly
and people could yell out the entire show.
My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Ah, that's how it goes.
Now we're back.
Oh my goodness, it's so great to be back here at Wise Guys at the Gateway in Salt Lake City!
Yay!
Always a good time every time we come here.
time uh every time we come here it's saturday july 14th so congratulations to everyone
uh for surviving friday the 13th i don't know why that continues to be a superstition we all made it
except for the campers at camp crystal lake of course I just decided that I want to get two dogs
and I'm going to name one Ah
and the other one Chi
and then I'm going to stand outside my house
oh I got to get one of those too
I'm going to stand outside my house
and when I yell for my dogs, I'm gonna yell,
because they're gonna be neighborhood dogs.
They can go wherever they want.
I'm gonna yell, ah, ah, ah.
Ah, ah, ah, gee, gee, gee.
Okay, I gotta work on that.
That needs more development.
It's 2018.
You guys got name tags?
I bet you do.
I've seen some of these on the internet.
I saw that guy's on the internet,
the killing of a sacred daemon.
He announced on the internet
it will not get chosen.
I'm looking at it.
I agree.
We got Bobby Driver over there.
Lots of familiar guests from the show.
Who knows who's going to be here today?
It's exciting.
There's a poster straight up of Nikki Glaser,
who was going to headline this club this weekend,
and she canceled to do the Bruce Willis roast on Comedy Central,
which I think is a smart career move.
But it didn't work out great for me,
because I was like hey Nikki I'm gonna
come to Salt Lake City and do the show so you can be on the show she's like
that sounds great and there here we are
so good luck getting that name tag chosen well we got some Donetti's we got
some hostess Donetti's in the audience that's always great uh jakes instead of jaws john of the planet of these vapes
i see i get all of that your name's john and you like vapes very cool
all right great job everybody uh good luck being chosen
being chosen Doug plugs I'll talk about my dates during the break or you can go to Doug loves movies calm shout out to Wes Stapley also known as Stapley Wes on
Twitter because he got injured and couldn't be here for the show today feel better Wes and no I'm not going to be playing Wayne just like I wrote down
Wayne Dwayne Johnson in Last Man Stanton that is not gonna happen I mean it could
happen but I'd rather it not happen because we played him a bunch of times
before from the corrections department Philip Seymour Hoffman was in Mission Impossible 3,
not Mission Impossible 2.
Yes.
Everyone regrets the error.
Let's take him on.
I brought a prize bag that a gentleman
sent to me in the mail from Columbia, Missouri.
Now, I don't remember his name, but I received in the mail a bag that had the Douglas Movies logo on it.
And he said, put it in the prize bag or make it the prize bag.
And I went with the latter.
It is the prize bag amongst many bags because my guest brought bags, too.
But inside the bag, oh, wait, here's the letter from the guy.
Dear Doug, I made this for you to use for the prize bag or perhaps as the prize bag. That's
just what I fucking said. Why would I read that aloud? I just said that. Now, the reason I wanted
to bring it out is to say what the guy's name is, and it's Waylon. Yeah.
I love somebody's name.
It's ooh, okay.
Interesting name.
And then there's like a P.S.
Hand wash only.
Because I know when I have a tote,
I constantly need to wash it because I'm carrying around mud and shit in it.
We got a, but thank you, Waylon.
And we got a T-shirt
that I got
when I did
Josh Wolf's podcast
Accidental Chaos,
Sudden Chaos,
Chaos City.
I forget what it's called.
Control Chaos.
Control Chaos.
That was indeed
an example of it
because you were
very controlled
and it was a very specific thing you said,
but chaos, because no one needs to hear from you.
I did. You helped me out. I appreciate it.
I just got, I watched, there's a gentleman on stage here last night
who's headlining this weekend.
Last night I watched him tear into everybody in the audience for being obnoxious.
And they were. You guys are great.
But I'm still going to tear into you just like he did
out of inspiration
because he also died in a car accident later that
evening. I've got a
t-shirt
that says
Waffle House
Coffee.
And it's really, it's nice.
It's soft.
It just feels too, I don't know.
It doesn't feel like it's my style.
I brought a CD of mine
that I'm finally getting rid of a big stack of them.
It's called Smug Life.
And then, of course, the glorious Christmas water pipe from our friends at Peacemaker. All of that is in the bag. I mean, it sounds
like a weapon, right? But it's, oh, Peacemaker. But peace is spelled P-I-E-C. And all that
is in the prize bag, plus the stuff brought by my three terrific
guests I mean I love Nikki Glaser but I think this is better than Nikki
people are gonna be tweeting at her shit and I I think she's great she's gonna be
on the show again super soon and I'm excited to see her roast Bruce Willis on Comedy Central
But I'm also excited to get these fellas up here. Let's give it up
for Shawn Jordan Dave Gruber Allen and Trey
Fuck that.
Yeah, you can sit right there if you like, and then you get this.
And I didn't know you'd have so many beverages.
I'm sorry.
I tried to arrange a stool so that people could put down their drinks.
And also, oh, man.
Is that my head? I wish I had gone to sound check.
That's my head, I think.
Because we're getting a little bit of, you know what, though?
I always say this.
Microphones that are further apart are less likely to whine.
So let me do this.
Check it out now.
It's perfect.
Fuck, yeah, we made it.
I don't know if it's perfect, but everybody could scooch down a little bit if you feel like you guys are too close.
but everybody could scooch down a little bit if you know if you feel like you guys are too close
but let's meet my guests individually starting with a gentleman who is on the program for the very first time and i'm super happy excited thrilled to have him good good to see him in
general it's dave gruber allen everybody thank you thank you and thank you doug thank you for
being here let's just you
know everybody you know you're one of those guys that people come up to you
all the time they know they know you they're excited to see you right and
then you're in a million things well you know Alaska I came up he said yes I'm
trying to find more door can you help me that's not cool That's not cool. No. That's not cool at all.
I was thinking backstage that you probably
have the record, like if Guinness kept track
of this sort of thing, or the guy
of the guy who had to
you turn down the joint
being passed more than any other person
on the planet. Because I'm sure
anytime people are smoking weed near you, they try
to pass it to you. That is a fact, yeah.
Yeah, and you generally decline.
Yeah.
So I love that. I love that
you have the look, but you don't
do the thing. So you're always like,
you know, no thanks. I mean, you're very nice
about it. Is this the
best? I'm good, bro.
Yeah, that works. But then
that implies that you have smokes, and then
they're going to ask you again the next time whereas if you just
pass all together they'll generally back
off like oh that guy he's a
passer like I didn't even try to pass
it to you today no but you tried to buy
some from me so that's true I did
wonder if you had any
I wondered if you had any in your satchel that
you wore when you rode over on your bike
but uh
but let's go through
i mean briefly i i was telling people today all about higgins boys and gruber but apparently
that's before a lot of people's time but it was our time that's for sure it was our time definitely
that's where it all started that's where the gruber came from and all that yeah yeah and gruber by the
way you guys in parentheses parentheses, not quotes, and
also not, don't even try
to find him on Twitter, right? Do not.
He doesn't fucking tweet. Don't even.
I heard he just started texting
recently. Is this true?
Yeah, I'm going to show you something.
His pants are coming off.
He was also the Naked Trucker.
You guys remember Naked Trucker?
That was a great show.
I brought this to show you,
but I have to get it back to props on Breaking Bad.
Breaking Bad.
You got a flip phone burner on your hands.
And luckily that's all I...
So if I text anyone tonight or later or something,
know that what I did took me one hour.
Hey man, how's it going?
That was a half hour. Unless you're texting, nah bro, I'm good. Then it's like you took me one hour. Hey, man, how's it going? That was a half hour.
Unless you're texting, nah, bro, I'm good.
Then it's like you got that one down.
That's in there.
That's autofill.
That's like on my way.
It says, bro, I'm good.
Nah, bro, I'm good.
Let's not forget freaks and geeks, you guys.
And do people come up to you and ask you for guidance?
I was going to say, I can offer some very bad advice.
So if anybody's looking for counselor advice, I can give it.
Yeah, come on up to him.
If you see him in a Walmart here in Salt Lake City, just go right up to him and ask him.
It's happened before.
Right?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. the current hot project that he's involved with,
hot topic, pot topic,
is that Dave is in the program Love on Netflix.
Yes, yeah.
And you live in the same complex.
Your roommate is Steve Banos.
Right, Mr. Kowchewski from Freaks and Geeks,
if you're keeping track.
Yes, yes.
This, of course, is another Apatow production.
Of course.
And then, yeah, and you're in the same complex
with the lead character in the show,
played by Paul Rust.
And it's super fun.
I win Paul Rust.
A lot of this is Iowa-based stuff, right?
The Higgins' Iowa, Paul Rust's Iowa.
I think that a lot of your characters are people like,
I want him to be my guidance counselor.
I want him to be my neighbor.
I want him to be my guidance counselor I want him to be my neighbor I want him to be my naked trucker I feel like I feel like
everybody wants you to be that thing that you that you played in that thing
that they liked yeah because you're very very likable man I'm gonna say it I'm
just saying thank you yeah and I I always used to see you know I used to
open for naked trucker and t-bones from time to time and so I definitely stay to see the show and there were
Certain things like I miss it. Sometimes I want to hear the show
Is there like a place where you recorded one of your live shows and it made it available to people? It's kind of it's a
There's a weird
Missing I don't know what you call a chunk
I'm trying to get the right right word for it. Black hole.
There you go.
Okay.
Wow.
Wasn't even close on my first two tries.
It came around perfectly.
There's a black hole for all the Naked Trucker stuff.
Comedy Central has nothing to do with it.
I think they saw show eight and they go, what?
What were we paying for?
We recorded at the Troubadour.
We did the show that you were involved in and helped and had fun with, right? Right. That was recorded at the Troubadour. We did our show that you were involved in and helped and had
fun with, right? That was recorded at the Troubadour.
The full thing,
we had Sarah Watkins, we had
Chris Thiele, who was playing mandolin on that one
and good times were had.
Paul F. Tompkins warmed us up that day.
You were busy. But nobody could
hear it. No, it was recorded. It's on
DVD somewhere.
Do you know what I mean? I don't know where it is. Somewhere, it's on dvd somewhere oh do you know what i mean i don't know where it is
somewhere it's out there so we were talking about it exactly thank you thank you all right well i i
definitely want to if you find it anywhere i want to revisit the the the shows because like what is
the thing you said about for some reason whenever i hear the name travis tritt it makes me laugh
because the way you you brought it up in your show what did you say in Travis what is the naked trucker song called you don't know jack
shit and so when we tried to find rhymes with IT we're like bed grab grab Travis
Tritt why not it took us all the way to tea to get a good rhyme for that line
but right you say in the show that he's threatening litigation?
That's true.
And he might be now. He might be listening
to this going, that's the guy.
He disappeared for 20 years, but
there he is. Fucking Gruber!
Actually,
Travis Trick calls it.
He's tearing his hair out. Gruber!
I was sitting before the show
wondering, how is Trey going to his hair out. Gruber. I was sitting before the show wondering,
how is Trey going to be mean to Dave Gruber Allen?
And he just, 10 minutes in, he's saying, fuck you, Gruber.
No, I said, fucking Gruber.
It was in anger.
It wasn't in anger.
It was out of fun.
It was an I-N apostrophe, correct?
Yes.
Not the first time I've heard that.
Let's say hello to Sean Jordan.
What's happening?
Salt Lake City.
I haven't been back here for...
I used to come here to skateboard all the time,
and here I am doing stand-up, or sort of stand-up comedy.
All right, well, let me get to my question for you.
You're sitting down, but I get it.
Here's the question I wrote down.
Do you like to skateboard when you're here?
If you just slow down your roll a little bit let me guide you into the topic i'm born on a green
light playboy i don't slow down oh fucking boy keeps going shout out tyson bowerbank uh lizard
king two fucking skateboarders from salt lake city skateboarders out there yeah fuck yeah there we go
they know who i'm talking about yeah yes i do like to skateboard when I come to Salt Lake City.
Nothing funny about it, just a fact, you know?
Travis Tritt?
Just trying to set you up.
Yeah.
But you're not going to skateboard this trip?
No, I'm here for like 19 hours or something, so I'm going to get hammered.
I think that's what I'll do, because I never did that on my older trips when I was in high school when we'd come here.
I was a real health nut,
so I was just skateboarding the whole time.
Like a sucker, you know?
Now I'm going to have like 30, 40, 3, 2 beers and just get there, you know?
Wow.
If I'm not too full for it.
Yeah, whatever you do, though,
don't have two different drinks in front of you
at the same time at Dave and Buster's.
They won't let her ride.
They won't let her ride.
So they make you take the
shot real quick. I was going to sip the
shot and she's just like, just toss it back.
So I fit a few in before
the show. Yeah, but that's still
like they have rules over there.
It's not like Outback.
Dave and Buster's is supposed to be, in every
other Dave and Buster's in the country, the
premise is you can drink while you're playing games.
True story. But at this one one you have to stay in the bar
area I just look at the games like oh I'm getting fucked up and I can't play
those games when all the kids you're playing the games you're like I'm too
fucking sober for these games well and then all we did was get drunk and then
we stood behind some girl playing Deal or no deal who was like eight years old and we're like no deal four drunk adults behind this we really have studio audience we influenced her
decisions and probably not in the nicest of ways but she ended up having a good game she won 146
tickets she got yeah she got a lot of tickets all we got was a scowl yeah she did we all applauded
her afterwards and she looked at us like fuck off
Yeah her dad was even like
Huh?
And nah
Not that group
I saw them at the bar the whole time
Also joining us today
All the way from New York City
It's Trey Galliol
Hey
Hey guys New York City. It's Trey Galliol. Hey, Salt Lake.
Hey, guys.
Nope, nope.
Got a small contingent of Trey Chanters.
Yeah, there always are. Just a very small.
Small group. It's not catching on with everybody. No, it's fine.
I think you're getting there. It's the diehard, man.
I think you're getting there. Those are the people I want.
Well, Jeff's really good at the games, and you're not.
The ones that are committed. No, I know.
And I understand.
He deserves all the Jeff chants that he gets.
And that's awesome.
But thank you, sir.
I appreciate it.
All right, let me ask you.
I wrote down a question for you.
Do you like to go skateboarding when you're here in Salt Lake City?
Love it.
The ditches are my favorite.
I like riding the ditches.es actually i've never skateboarded here
because i've never been here long enough this one's a 20 hour trip you beat me by an hour dick
whatever dude um and then yeah last time the last couple times i've been here with you have been
really quick so i haven't brought it. But I look forward to it someday.
Okay.
Fucking Gruber is here.
Why do you have to...
I'm amazed that I'm on stage with fucking Gruber,
man. I think it's cool.
It is pretty cool, and everybody
brought stuff for the prize bag, so let's start with you,
Trey. What do you have
for us? I have the old school classic Delta the prize bag. So let's start with you, Trey. What do you have for us? I have the old school classic
Delta barf bag
that's for motion discomfort
and baby disposal. And then you
can place it, they suggest
that you place it on your seat to
save your seat if you go take a shit or
whatever. If I was in this state
where I was going to throw up on the plane, that bag
ain't holding it, you know? Yeah, we've had this discussion before.
I've taken two before.
That's a genteel barf that doesn't just blast through that bag.
Yeah, that's just like, oh, I've got a little bit of barf in me.
I'm just going to spit it out.
Oh, I had no idea.
I had no idea.
No, I have a two-bagger once, and it was a delicate switch between bags, but I pulled it out. Oh, I had no idea. No, I did have to. I have a two bagger once and it was a delicate
switch between bags, but I pulled it off.
I had family
support though. My sister and brother were there
cheering me on, so
word up to them.
Alright. And then I brought
a fucking stoner
starter kit for you.
I have a GravLabs rolling
tray and
one of their little three-piece
grinders.
Yeah. And then one of their
little one-hitters with the nubby so
it won't roll off the table and bust
on your hardwood or tile floor.
There it is.
Exactly.
Wow.
That is sweet.
It's very sweet.
And I got a great idea.
I think it's sick while you're smoking.
I got a great merch idea for you, Trey.
What's that?
You make a tray, a rolling tray that has your face on it.
Nobody's buying that.
I'm buying it.
When people ash on it, it just looks like your facial hair.
And they can move it around like one of those guys with the magnetic stick and the facial hair.
That's the best idea.
Yeah.
Everyone's buying this.
It is a little patchy Puerto Rican-y for sure.
But rolling tray is pretty good.
All right.
What do you got for us, Sean?
I just brought treats because, you know, when I watch movies, I like to have treats.
So I brought some buttered popcorn.
You know? Classic.
Can I hold it for you? This is so like you.
You bring these things every time. Yeah.
It's kind of my thing.
Some tropical Sour Patch Kids.
Watch your back. For a taste of the
islands. Watch your back.
I got
some coffee M&M's.
What?
I tried these the other day.
They taste like brownies.
They're fucking dope. Oh, nice.
They're off the chain, so you're lucky.
You're lucky.
There you go.
I'm skeptical, but when you sold the brownie, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But hang on a second.
Slow down.
I know you were born in a green light, but...
Slow my rolling.
What are you doing?
You cracking them open?
I want to eat one of these motherfuckers.
Yeah, you said they taste like brownies.
They do.
No, they're not pot brownies.
They're just regular brownies.
Oh.
No, I put a bunch of weed in there.
I wanted to get raspberry M&M's, but they didn't have them at the Rite Aid I went to.
Why are there different colors if there's coffee?
Some got creamer, dude.
There's white ones and brown ones and dark brown ones.
M&M's, it don't matter the color.
It's all the same flavor.
Stop.
Across the board.
These are coffee.
Yeah, that's their flavor.
But they're still different colors, right?
Oh, no.
I just remembered.
Now I'm going to be up all night.
I don't drink coffee.
It's not bad.
You want to try one?
They taste like brownies?
Anybody that wants to try one, try one.
I'm good, bro.
Yeah, don't feel like it. I'm good, bro. Don't, yeah, don't feel like it.
I'm good, bro.
Get in there, Trey.
I'm totally getting in there.
We passed it like a canoe.
Dave passes everything.
Alan.
No, I'm good, bro.
Oh.
They're good, right?
Yeah.
Okay, I'm going to dump the rest of them into the bag.
All right, there you go.
It'll be like one of Kelly Jordan's loose Easter baskets
she always gives me with loose candy in there.
It's really an awkward one.
I don't know what you're talking about.
My mother.
And then I have a $15 gift card to Regal Cinemas.
So you say.
Put some cash money in there.
It's nice.
This is legit.
It actually says $15 on it.
For somebody who's going to the movies by themselves,
don't you dare think about bringing anyone.
You get a nice discount if you're going as a couple.
Yeah.
Very good.
Thank you, Sean.
Beautiful.
What do you have for us, Mr. Allen?
I have a couple things for you in this Amoeba bag.
If you know Amoeba Records, Berkeley and Hollywood.
Amoeba, for everything you could possibly want
except the one thing that you went into, get.
Amoeba, I think it's under world music, bro.
Okay.
All right, here you go.
So there's a flyer.
If you live in South Salt Lake, come and see me rock at the library.
What?
Yeah.
South Salt Lake.
We can talk afterwards.
That sounds fun.
That's on July 30th.
Monday morning.
At 10.30 to 11.30 a.m.
No, morning.
10.30 a.m.
A library rock out.
South Salt Lake sounds fucking crazy.
Salt Lake County Library.
Everyone's excited about the Downtown City Library, right?
Go county, man. That's where it's at.
Now, in the library, do you just have to sing
that one song the entire time?
What's your name?
Who's your daddy?
Shh.
Is he rich?
Is he rich like me?
You just have to do songs
that have the shush sound in them.
That's right.
When you do rock and roll
in a library.
All right.
I'm also going to,
this is a new edition.
Oh, new edition.
I'm also going to include this.
It's part of my DNA.
What's up, 23andMe?
And CRV in California.
So it's an empty can of Red Bull that you drank.
Empty can of Red Bull.
Enjoy it.
We can put all the evidence in there.
Swab it and see where it came from.
He doesn't pass on the Red Bull, I guess.
And then we got this item, this beautiful item.
I sit next to my friend Doug Benson because of, basically because of Joel Hodgson, right?
Joel kind of kept us all working in TV and stuff.
And so Joel, the creator of Mystery Science Theater 3000, right?
MST3K, put out this series and it's kind of four more episodes never before on DVD.
So maybe if you are a fan, that would be something you'd enjoy.
Oh, it's got double X on the front.
I thought they were doing like porn movies or something.
But not that dirty.
You didn't think that.
Just kind of dirty.
No, I totally did.
You did not think that.
Yes, I did.
Okay.
But this, you guys, also a nice plastic bag that can use, you know, who knows what they'll do with this.
Yeah, you can keep that bag.
But this is beautiful.
Share that with everybody.
You know what?
I was very honored by Doug asking me to come down here and honored for your hospitality.
So I did some actual artwork.
May I share this with you, Sean?
Of course.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, we're going to see like one person's reaction to it?
Oh, no.
I get it.
You're going to hold the mic.
So just give him help with the mic there so he can go hands free.
I can hold it for you.
Thanks, man.
I was in the Ghostbusters reboot, which was kind of kick-ass, right?
Did you see it?
Yeah.
I was the electrocuted ghost.
And so I got this.
But I made for your audience, Doug, a short film called Noted, a very short flipbook film by Gruber.
Enjoy.
So I'm going to show it.
And, yeah, two people will be able to see this.
But here we go.
All right. Ready? I'm going to do it for you, bro. will be able to see this, but here we go. Alright, ready? I'm going to do it for you,
bro. Here we go. Ready? Oh, what's
that? Oh, huh? What?
Yeah.
But I can't show you the ending. I can't show
you the ending.
That sounded
like a flip book about a flasher.
What is that?
I guess it could be that. A flasher and someone that needed to flasher. What is that? I guess it could be that.
A flasher and someone that needed to find their glasses.
What's that?
Oh.
That's my next flip book.
I'm going to do that.
Okay.
That'll be a good one.
So anyway, thanks for having me on.
Yeah.
Thank you for making that.
Please enjoy those glasses.
That's an amazing prize for somebody.
Thanks, John.
Very unique thing for somebody to walk away with.
Oh, and by the way, if you want to see anything I've been in,
go to Amoeba Music because it's all in the dollar bin.
Dollar bin.
Once they keep doing Andy Kindler double punch lines.
That's a fun name for a band that's just starting out though, Dollar Bin.
Oh, yeah, good one.
Just admit failure immediately and get into it.
And I'm going local beer, by the way.
You into it.
Here we go.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Here's to the mountains.
Hell, yeah.
Salt Lake City getting shit done.
Right?
Yeah.
I'm stoked.
Yeah.
You can't cross the street without seeing a thing that says, look both ways.
I think that's very cute.
I actually chuckled when I looked down.
There's got to be something behind that, though.
Were people just not looking anymore?
How many people get hit here?
Is that a thing? Like a lot?
If it's one, it's too many.
So look both ways.
I mean, yeah, but your parents ought to teach you
that shit.
That's also interesting that it just look both ways each time when it's it's a
street that's only going one way a lot of one ways right where you step off the curb it might
be going the other way when you get you know a mile down the road you guys got some big
intersections here also do you guys tell stories like this? So the other day, I was on the corner of 200 West, 423 South,
and I was like...
I mean, like, you go to other cities and go,
what's with these fucking street names?
Why don't they just use numbers and coordinates
like normal people?
It's really easy to find your way.
It's a grid, right? That's the whole thing?
It's like a grid, so you never get lost?
Yeah, I guess once you figure it out.
You only get lost if you're a dumb shit
that doesn't understand what's going on.
Like, tourists here probably are constantly
asking you questions,
and you guys know what's up.
And it's an easy explanation, too.
Just go, hey, do you know how numbers work?
Whenever a tourist asks a question,
they just say, don't look at the ground before you cross
the street, and then takes care of the tourist.
You know what I mean? The look both ways is actually a political thing
because Salt Lake, right, is kind of a
mixed bag, and it's like, look at it both ways.
Reach across the aisle. Yeah, let's do it,
you guys. We're nonpartisan in our
pedestrian ambulatory moves.
Let's reach across the street.
That's all I'm saying. Come together
in front of a moving vehicle. That's reach across the street. That's all I'm saying. Come together in front of a moving vehicle.
That's going
too fast. Yeah. I like to ask
everybody a question before we get into
the game portion of the show.
We know what that question is, so Trey,
answer it.
Say nine inches.
The Hitman's
Bodyguard.
That was the last movie you saw? Yeah's on hbo right now okay that's
always an extenuating circumstance yeah you were uh it was fine it was standard ryan reynolds fair
he was good in it samuel jackson you got a little selma hayek in there a couple of little fun
running jokes i liked a little joke with Selma Hayek's cellmate.
That was pretty funny.
But, you know, I mean, just basic.
I wasn't happy with the choice, if that's what you're asking.
But you weren't upset.
Wow, you really are waffling here.
Like, you really came out strong that it wasn't that bad.
Now you're back to not.
It was average.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I haven't seen it yet for that very reason I don't like to see those guys in material it's not at their level but
they also elevate material regularly sure correct so yes maybe I'll see it
yeah probably not no you'll laugh a couple times if you do okay well you
know that's what I sometimes want to only laugh once an hour.
I'll even ask at the
box office, has this got more than two laughs
in it? And are the two
that are in it spaced apart?
Give me a reason
to stay in my seat.
Sean Jordan, what was the last movie you saw?
It was the... and I feel bad that I'm
messing the name up. I believe it's called The Set Up, or is it Set It Up?
The romantic comedy on Netflix?
Set It Up.
Set It Up.
Fucking fantastic.
Really?
Fantastic.
I love romantic comedies.
It's no secret.
Okay, so let's take all of this with a grain of salt.
Let's back up a little bit.
Name your top two favorite romantic comedies.
Hitch is top.
Hitch?
Hitch?
Hitch is my favorite. Okay. Okay. Will Smith is the fucking, comeies. Hitch is top. Hitch? Hitch? Hitch is my favorite.
Okay.
Okay.
Will Smith is the fucking...
Come on.
Okay.
All right.
Hate on it all you want.
And then if you want...
I didn't hate on it.
You were about to.
No.
No.
Hitch?
Are you kidding me?
Well, then you'll hate on the second one.
This podcast was almost called Doug Loves Hitch.
I just didn't think I would be able to maintain it for 12 years.
I like Turner and Hitch.
That was a good one.
Right, that was really good, especially when Hitch died.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Hitchhiker's Guide to Women, the sequel.
Brad Pitt and Sneetch.
Okay, so what were you saying about it?
That's my favorite Defend it
Oh what was the other favorite of yours?
Hitch and what?
I only have the one favorite
Okay it's Hitch
Sorry to bother you with the other question
I mean the other half of the question
Love Actually is going to be my second favorite
Oh okay
It's a lot of hate but I love that movie
I think it's fantastic
Puts me in a good mood
Except for like
Three of the 15 storylines are troublesome But the rest think it's a lot of hate, but I love that movie. I think it's fantastic. Puts me in a good mood, except for like three of the
15 storylines are troublesome, but
the rest of it's great. And if you want
to count High Fidelity as a romantic
comedy, then that's obviously
number one. Hey, you know, Sean, of course,
is one of the constant
guests on All Fantasy
Everything, the podcast
with Ian Carmel
and David Borey and Sean they do
brackets yeah different things in the world yeah we just read for it let's
draft something yeah do brackets and have and debate about the bracket
blessing people some people are allergic to it most people love it but I'm
bringing it to you right now.
I think you should do brackets for the storylines in Love Actually.
What's the best storyline in Love Actually?
Well, the best, like, most realistic or the best heartwarming?
It's your show.
You decide.
I thought you were asking me right now.
No, I'm asking you to do it on your podcast.
I mean, pitch it to the other guys.
Well, you need to come on for that one.
I think there's wildly varying opinions on which parts
of that movie are good and which are not.
I like the dude that goes to Wisconsin
and just starts swimming in it
right out of the gate.
Because I grew up in South Dakota, so that's like
everybody, we're like, well, that doesn't happen.
But it's fun in the movie world to just happen.
Here's the brackets I would do.
The most tolerable of the storylines, I do it that way.
Most tolerable, the least tolerable.
It's getting tricky.
That makes it very tricky.
Most tolerable is Hugh Grant and that lady.
This movie sounds exhausting.
I've never seen it, and I don't want to see it now.
Yeah, this sounds horrible.
12 different storylines?
You know what's exhausting?
What?
That attitude, Trey.
I'm going to go watch The Lobster.
That's why you don't like Ryan Reynolds.
Anyway, Set It Up is a fantastic movie.
Okay, so Set It Up.
Who's in Set It Up?
Set up the premise of Set It Up.
So it's Zoe Deutsch, deutsch your boy tay diggs and uh wait wait wait back up you're crazy boy boy tay diggs
zoey do each i like her she's good and then my boy your boy tay diggs tay diggs wait then my girl
what is you and tay diggs and your girl lucy lou They're all... I forgot she was my girl for a second.
The male lead, I forget,
incredibly charming. Lucy Liu, my girl Drew.
I want to say Adam's son. Cameron D and Destiny.
Go ahead.
You know a lot of the lyrics for that song.
Yeah, some of them. It's a great movie.
They set up their bosses. I learn lyrics
to Beyonce songs when I'm not busy
paying my automobiles.
I'm assuming that's a Beyonce
song. You know what you gotta do? You guys, if you want,
I'll leave more jokes outside
to the left.
In the joke bin? Oh, I know that one.
I know that one.
Something about the dick in the box.
Right?
Am I wrong?
I have no idea.
She doesn't mean his junk.
He just put his dick in a box.
Sidney, can I get another Tito's and soda?
Yeah, I think you need one. There you go.
I think the storyline where Rick from The Walking Dead
has a British accent and has the whole symphony in the church,
that's kind of a fun storyline.
Yeah, that's not.
I don't like that one.
All right.
I named the only storyline I can tolerate, actually.
Oh, I guess Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson are good yeah but that's
such a it's a sad one is that the one with the dude that shows up at the front
door with the cards and he's not seen no I've seen of that they still talking
about set it up or love actually I don't know man General Hospital or exactly
subterranean home sick blues nice steel what do you think Gruber about what's the last movie you
saw you know can I come in the green room that you don't see a lot of me I did see one recently here in Salt Lake can I comment once
about Sean so I've not seen set it up right if I was a critic and didn't want
to watch it and just figured I'd hate it sure I would just have the headline read
put it down like you remember the ones and no joke do you remember the one put it down or whatever the dvd when the
dvd was released i would say put it down um do you remember this is an actual la times headline
that you know was pre-written for the alamo right the remake i guess of the alamo right and what was
the headline forget the alamo yeah la times they had it waiting and they just go hopefully this
movie is going to be shitty. It was. Boom.
We got it.
Forget the Alamo.
You just did the snip?
No, the review was written by Donnie Brascow and the full review was forget about the Alamo.
Forget about it. Forget about the Alamo.
With the Davy Crockett and the Jim Bowie.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that presentation.
Oh, nice.
Thank you, Steve.
I thought angels were going to start singing.
Oh, my God. The, Steve. I thought angels were going to start singing. Ah!
Oh, my God.
The Little Mermaid just got legs.
All right.
So what was the last movie you saw? The last movie I saw, the last feature film,
was a documentary film called Won't You Be My Neighbor.
Oh, sure.
Right?
Come on.
We talked about this one.
It was delightful.
I cannot even. I think I would cry the entire time if I about this one. It was delightful.
I think I would cry the entire time if I saw that movie.
It gets you going pretty quick.
Oh my God.
You're going, oh, it's Fred Willis.
He's the nicest man.
They don't try very hard, I don't think,
but they can't find a skeleton.
He is just all goodness.
Trey's against goodness.
No, that's not true.
Did you see it, T that's I wasn't looking for
anything bad but I wanted some ladies I wanted some more like backstage
anecdotes and shit like that and that's what I mentioned the stage hand that
they had on who was like I got some great stories but I'm not gonna tell
them to you it's like now you're dick man that's what I wanted to you know I
will say this without spoiling too much for those who haven't seen it he does show his ass in
a photo so there was yeah there was I'm not gonna say bad stuff but you do is
what led up to that is what I know how many children does he show it to Wow Wow
see you took any puppets cuz that's even thinking that. Did you show it to any puppets? Because that's really not something called for.
No, you know he's showing it to puppets.
And you folks who saw it, did you notice?
Miss Kitty don't like human buttocks.
Meow, meow.
Meow, meow.
Meow, meow, meow, buttocks.
Meow, meow.
Did you happen to notice the wholesale lack of Lady Abilene?
Who was with me on that?
Do you know?
She was not in there.
And then we did some research.
She's probably got gripes.
She might. But it was like, I'm just not going to. Don't worry about it. There was not in there and then we did some research. She's probably got gripes. She might, but it was like
I'm just not going to. Don't worry about it.
There was plenty. And it was a good length.
Why do you need 50 hours for a movie these
days? It was like 92 minutes.
It was perfect. Yeah. That's good.
You could bang out three episodes of his old show
in that time. There you go. Yeah.
So I enjoyed it. And you did see it then. No, I did
not. You were going to cry when you do.
I haven't been able to bring myself to see it yet.
I've got a couple opportunities coming up to see it because, of course, it's an existing
motion picture.
Got it.
So I might.
Would you folks recommend it?
I'd recommend it for Doug, right?
I would.
I saw it.
Of course.
Doug, do it for you.
Do it for your inner child.
You'll love it.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm in.
I'm going to see it.
Right after Sorry to Bother You.
Okay.
Because I hear that's very good.
Yeah. That's here in town, too. Okay. Because I hear that's very good. Yeah.
That's here in town too.
And Set It Up.
Like not...
And Love Actually for the 15th time?
How long is Set It Up?
Roughly 90 minutes, I want to say.
Oh, so it's a rough 90 minutes?
Yeah.
Hard to sit through.
Hard to sit through.
You set me up
fell for it like an asshole
no I set it up
alright
turn it off Bert
cause I'm about to say
let the games begin
people got name tags
it's happening
this is real Gruber so get out there and start looking People got name tags. Nice. It's happening. Oh, look out.
This is real, Gruber.
So get out there and start looking.
There's bribery afoot.
People attach things to their name tags.
Just pick the one that speaks to you.
While you do that, we'll do this.
Can you hold that up a little bit?
We'll be right back.
No, the other one.
I saw that one.
Hey, there are no sponsors this episode.
I'm just going to tell you a few things that are coming up for doug loves movies and for me i'm doing two shows
in san diego during comic-con the first one sold out so come to the show saturday july 21st at 4 20
at the american comedy company then the next night july 22nd i will be in reno nevada at the American Comedy Company. Then the next night, July 22nd,
I will be in Reno, Nevada at the Pioneer Center
with a stand-up show at 8 o'clock.
Even though it's stand-up, bring your name tag
so you can play a game at the end of the show
with me and my special guest.
Tuesday night, Douglas Movies returns
to the UCB Franklin Theater in Los Angeles at 9 30 p.m. and then I'm doing two shows
in Montreal during Just for Laughs the Benson Interruption featuring me and a great comic
interrupting five other great comics while they try to tell stories. And then on Saturday, July 28th at 4.20,
I'm doing Douglas Movies at the Hyatt in Montreal.
You can also catch me on a panel with Ron Bennington
during Montreal that I think is open to all.
I'm doing two shows at the Traverse City Film Festival.
I'm doing a Douglas Movies on Wednesday, August 1st at 9 p.m.
And then on Friday night, August 3rd,
the Benson movie interruption of Twister at the State Theater.
Yeah, it's about time I made fun of that movie
that's got a couple of great actors in it
who are dead.
Did I mention Atlanta?
Yeah, I'll be at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta
doing Douglas movies on August 12th.
That's a Sunday at 420.
All right, back to the show.
All right, we're back.
That was a very gentle name tag selection process.
And I want to thank everybody who took the time to share those with me.
Everyone was very well behaved.
I had to choose one, right?
Yeah, just one.
Thank you all who shared with me.
Just one person, and then you might win all the prizes for them.
So let's see who we're talking about here.
Sure, do it.
for them. So let's see who we're talking about here, Gruber. Sure, do it.
Gruber's got the classic
Malcolm McDowell movie,
Caligula,
but Jesse has just
added her name, Jesse,
so it's Jesse Caligula.
Jesse Caligula.
Jesse Caligula, there it is.
Oh, Jessica Caligula.
By the way, I've never seen them.
Your last name is Ligula?
Is that right? I've never seen them. Your last name is Legula? Is that right?
I know.
I've never seen the movie, but there's one line that Malcolm McDowell says, and it's this.
If you've seen it, you'll know, and if you're not, you can research it.
I wonder if it's good for the hair.
I'll let you figure what that means.
I bet you it's something about semen.
I think it is.
All right.
How did you know that? See, you. I think it is. All right. All right.
How did you know that?
So I see you knew.
Jessica, yeah, you knew.
All right, so there you go.
Thank you.
Jessica Ligula.
Thank you, Jessica Ligula.
Yes.
Ligula.
Also, you know, I love the movies of Bob Guccione,
former founder and publisher of Penthouse Magazine, right?
He produced this.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
That's how it got all sexy.
I mean, it's got Malcolm McDowell, Peter O'Toole, lots of
really fancy British
actors, but then also like some real
hardcore shit. Exactly, because that was
Bob Guccione saying, hey, you know what would make this movie
better is take the history out and
put in some, hmm.
I mean, it's got some gross stuff in it
too, right? It's all there. Don't they have some
decapitations? I'm told.
I didn't see it, but I'm told.
Cutting off dick.
Yeah, no need for that.
So, anyway.
All right, good choice.
Sean, what do you got?
Wet Hot American Steven.
Yeah.
Nice.
I like that.
Can I help you?
A little creepy.
Well, Steven has a grip of pictures on here.
And I saw everyone. I was like, oh, maybe I'm on here. I'll a grip of pictures on here. And I saw everyone.
I was like, oh, maybe I'm on here.
I'll tell you who's on here.
And I think I got it all.
It's Kate Micucci, Moshe Kasher, Ricky Lindholm, Amy Miller's punk ass, Sam Levine, Trey Gallion's
punk ass, Jeff Tate's punk ass, Doug, Dan Van Kirk, Leonard Moulton, and then I assume
Stephen and my wife.
My wife.
There you go.
Nice setup.
Wait, and then who's the squirrel on the front?
John Hamm.
The most handsome man in the world.
He put it the smallest picture you could make.
And on the grill of the truck.
And then some Sour Patch Kids.
Play boy. I smell what you're stepping in.
I like it.
Step up in it. Trey, what do you got? Well, I smell what you're stepping in. I like it. Step up in it.
Trey, what do you got?
Well, I bypassed a couple with
weed on them because the weed didn't smell
quite good enough for me. And it's not legal.
And it's not legal in Utah.
So I didn't
pass any posters
with weed on them.
They also didn't pass security, so it doesn't matter.
But I did pick this
Big Trouble with Little Cheryl
because it's an awesome
movie and an awesome poster.
You are, of course,
Kurt Russell, and then she's got
her pucker face in down there
at the bottom all splayed out.
Show the whole room how great I look.
That's fucking...
I don't need to work out now because I know that's what it'll look like.
Nah, dude.
I don't need that.
You're jacked.
You are.
Dude, they call it the Swole Patrol.
They stop by.
And if you're listening at home, it's double matted.
Nice work.
Yes.
Double matting.
Not single matted, double matted.
So there you go.
That's beautiful.
That's a great poster.
Nice.
Mine has glitter did i mention
that oh it does have glitter yeah so that was another calligula caught my eye collegiate
glitter just just a little later say it again it's covered in just a little bit jessica legu
jessica ligula you see that's it it took me that many times to figure it out i think that movie
has even a scene in it with connollyula. Oh, see what you did there?
See what you did?
I looked right at it as I did it.
The first game we're going to play is a new game.
Oh, really?
Yeah, because every time I'm in Salt Lake City, I bring a new game.
Hell yeah.
I don't think that's true.
But I like to pump up the crowd.
Everybody loved a game, Gruber, that we played called Dumelefant.
And that was a game based on the films of Josh Dumele and Timothy Oliphant.
Okay.
Because they're hard to tell apart.
So much so that I don't know either of them. Go ahead. Dumeleiphant. Okay. Because they're hard to tell apart for some people. So much so that I don't
know either of them.
Go ahead.
Do Molliphant.
But you don't need to know
because it ends up being
basically a guessing game.
Can I mention Pat Oliphant
at some point,
a great editorial cartoonist?
I think you already have.
Okay.
Thank you.
I think you got
that mention in.
And where's my Bagley fans?
Come on, Salt Lake Trib.
Bagley, that's where
it's at, bro.
That's enough.
Okay.
All right.
Fucking Gruber.
What?
I'm just...
A little hometown shout-out for a great editorial cartoonist.
I'm loving it.
After they cut 25 people from the staff.
At least we got Pat in there, so...
Damn.
Yeah.
Hey, whatever you want with your USA Today, you get at the hotel.
Feel free.
This paper's great. You guys in the hotels, that's all you read your USA Today you get at the hotel. Feel free. This paper's great.
You guys in the hotels,
that's all you read is USA Today.
They had a good editorial.
I don't read newspapers.
I gotcha.
You couldn't even take time to look
at the pie chart.
There's always a pie chart, for fuck's sake.
Read the pie chart.
Sorry, Trey.
So instead of Dumelefon, we're moving on.
We've gone through
all of their films.
So now this is a new game.
It's called Plummerly.
And it's the films
of Christopher Lee or
Christopher Plummer.
Nice.
That would do so bad. Plummerly? do gentlemen that I mixed up myself during
a game of last man Stanton because I thought I thought the wrong one was in a
Lord of the Rings film I don't think I can name one movie from either one of
them well here's what you do you got do all you gotta do is wait for me to
come to you and i'll give you a choice of chris lee chris plumber or neither
so the guy who goes third every time has a shot at maybe both guys getting it wrong and then the
third guy can nail it and get the point. And there's only three choices.
Sean, you're going to know more than you think you know.
It took me a second. I couldn't think of one.
Oh, that one with the thing.
You'll get it. I promise you'll get it.
I think Sean's right. I think he's not going to know.
it's so much fun to get to guess.
And since Gruber is our newbie
on the show,
it's his first visit.
I'm ready. Our groobie.
Oh, come on. Nice. Fucking groobie.
Fucking groobie.
Feeling groobie.
I'm going to say the name of the movie
and all you got to do is say
Christopher Lee, Christopher Plummer
or neither. Not Christopher
Guest. And then it will go to
Sean. It won't go to Sean
because I'll get it.
Oh, you're going to nail it. There's the next cab. It won't go to Sean because I'll get it.
Oh, you're going to nail it.
There's the goddamn confidence. All right.
He was going to come out at some point.
Which one?
I'm setting it up.
Set it up.
Playboy.
Let's all watch that.
Which one was in the movie Captain Horatio Hornblower RN?
Which one of those actors was in that movie?
I wish I had seen it, but I'm going to go...
Christopher Plummer was in that.
Okay, that's incorrect.
See, Sean, we've narrowed it down.
It's either Christopher Lee or neither.
What do you think?
Captain Horatio Hornblower, RN.
In case you're wondering about RN, it's not registered nurse.
Royal Navy. It's Royal Navy.
Yeah, boo.
Yeah.
What do you mean, boo?
Oh, yeah, I guess the Royal Navy.
We don't care. I had Louise Fletcher. I thought
she was his co-star in that.
Oh, she is old. Yeah.
I don't know about that. That's
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. She played
Nurse Ratched. Yeah. R-N backwards
and R. What? Yeah, I did it.
I went there.
I've given you a lot
of time to think Yeah Sean you really gotta
be able to mull this over
I'm gonna say neither cause that's not a real movie
Oh
Interesting play
Fuck you Trey
That's incorrect so now Trey just has to
remember
Trey just has to remember which one wasn't said yet
Which one do you think it is?
What if I get as close to you as you want?
Which one is it, Trey?
Stop it, Sean
Christopher Plummer, Christopher Lee, or neither?
Oh, man
He doesn't even remember
Plummer
Oh, shit
That's incorrect. It's Christopher
Lee. Christopher Lee. He missed it.
I get it, right? It comes around?
I knew that a second ago.
As a question.
This is a good show for dummies, but it doesn't
come around to even dummies
than dummies. Oh my gosh.
Extra dummy. I wasted so
much time trying to get into Sean's head
that I fucked up my own head. Damn. Alright, well. I wasted so much time trying to get into Sean's head that I fucked up my own head.
Damn.
All right, well, that was a great practice round.
I tried to get into Sean's head, but he has ring installed,
so he knows when I'm around his head.
Not happening.
Not happening, dudes.
Fucking groovy.
Come on, right?
Okay, let's say I'm casing a place and I want to rob it.
They've got that thing where they can pretend to be at the door when they're not.
I'd be outside the door and I would ring the bell or whatever.
And they'd go, hey, what's up?
And if I'd go, hey, are you in there?
And they'd be like, yeah.
And I'd be like, all right, come over to the window and wave to me.
And then they wouldn't.
And then I would rob their fucking house.
Like, how hard can it be to figure out whether they're really there or not?
It's pretty easy.
Right?
Hey, come to my house, right?
Come to my house and ring my ring.
Go.
Okay, ring, ring.
It's a beach.
Whoa, hey, Doug. How's it going?
How's it going, Doug? I'm here at my house.
Oh, it sounds like you're
somewhere else. No, I was watching
a beach movie. Yeah, we're way...
Your house is way inland, and
it seems like you're... I'm just saying
you're right. Which beach movie are you watching?
Apocalypse Now.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Can you do a helicopter with your mouth?
Wow.
Right?
In fact, these people are doing the opening scene under the ceiling fan.
So if you get somebody like Martin Sheen, you just go.
We do have ceiling fans in a lot of people.
It seems suicidal.
How many people thought Apocalypse Now Redux was a little too much?
Right? Hey, let's go watch French people
eat was basically the 20
minutes they stuck in the Redux anyway.
Is that true? Yeah. Wow. Anyway.
Makes me want to see it.
What? I'd love to know
if you like French people eating. I didn't get enough French
people eating in Ratatouille, so
I would check that out. There you go.
Alright, you get to go first, Gruber.
Can we start this way so I can get to that?
No.
That's the beauty of...
I thought you were going to get the point no matter what.
Yeah.
Plus, you know...
You know what?
It's like World Cup soccer.
It's still 0-0 after five hours.
Right.
So, we have a chance, then.
Yeah, we all have infinity fun points.
So, you know.
We're all winning.
All right.
Talk about it when we get to the half. Here we go. We're all winning. All right, talk about it when we get to the half.
Here we go.
Yellow card, Sean.
Red card, Trey.
Oh, fucking Gruber.
Which one of those actors was in a movie called Police Dog?
Was there a movie called Police Dog?
Sean's got me doubting everything now.
I'm going to say neither.
Incorrect, Sean.
No!
Why?
I don't want to be a dick.
Obviously, it was Plumber, so let's just keep going.
Give me the point and let's keep going.
You're saying Plumber?
Yeah.
Wrong.
Oh, man!
Trey, have you been with us long enough to follow...
Fuck you, Trey. follow what's been happening here?
Get away from me.
Suck your teeth at me, dude.
Which one is it?
Lee.
That is correct.
Yeah.
What's up, Salt Lake City, huh?
Who's your champ?
Who's your champ?
What's up, Salt Lake City?
Yeah.
I remembered something.
No way.
Deduction. Deduction.
There was all sorts of stuff involved with that answer.
Too bad your ID at Dave & Buster's
doesn't name Christopher Lee,
because you forgot that.
I did have to walk back to the hotel
and get my ID,
because Salt Lake City is pretty strict
on whether or not you can drink
at establishments if you don't have it.
For an OG like Trey and George.
I know, gray hair and everything.
I'm starting to get lines on my forehead.
You're going to make me walk all the way back in this humidity.
I didn't like it when you showed the bartender your pubes as a way of,
hey, I got your ID right here.
If it would have kept me there.
Oh, it's in my other pants.
Okay, so now Trey has one point, but it's still anybody's game.
We'll go back to you, Gruber.
You get the first shot at this one.
Which one of those actors was in The Cockle Shell Heroes?
Oh, God.
Doug, have you seen any of these movies?
I might have.
Did you double source your questions?
Remember Trashed?
Remember that game show Trashed where they had to double and triple?
They really had to triple source everything.
Cockle Shell Heroes.
Well, first of all, it was a hilarious movie.
You know who turned a particularly hilarious comic turn in it was Christopher Plummer.
No.
Sean, I like the confidence, though.
Confidence was great.
I'm going to say neither, because that sounds like a diagnosis.
Okay, that's incorrect. Trey?
Christopher Guest.
No. Lee.
Christopher Lee is correct!
Two with Lee.
I'm going to go home and watch all of his movies.
Okay, one of you two, if you get three in a row, could make a comeback.
This is killing me.
You can take this thing, because Trey's only got two points,
and there's three more questions.
I don't know what to call them.
Okay, this is it.
I got to know, right?
Clew, you got this.
Which one was in or neither hot money girl
hot money girl hot money girl which is not like one of those translated titles like in japan
that's what they called pretty woman super karate monkey death car
money girl that would be it wouldn't it there go. That was absolutely hilarious, what Doug just said.
That's on the bootleg DVD on the blanket in the park.
I've seen that one, Hot Money Girl, starring Julia Roberts.
Hi, I'd like your least scratched copy of Hot Money Girl, sir.
But she worked hard for the money, so hard for her honey.
So it's Hot Money Girl.
Which one?
May I speak with my lawyer?
I don't believe your lawyer is like this it sounds like a fake movie so I'm gonna go with fake movie unless you wanted to use that I mean I
don't want to tell I defer to you my friends how to live your life you okay
your own life I would say the tray is gonna win so which one do just to get
this over with mark on all of us. It is.
But also, Gruber...
I'm just going to go, it's not a movie.
It sounds so fakey.
Keep in mind that there's more games after this one,
so you don't have to win this one.
It's not a movie.
Okay, that's not even a choice.
All right, neither of them are anything
because it is not a movie.
I've been saying it's not a movie fucking around.
I think I planted that seed. I know, I'm listening to you now. It's not a movie. I've been saying it's not a movie fucking around. I think I planted that seed.
I know. I'm listening to you now.
It's not a choice. It's an actual
movie? Yeah, they're all actual
movies. I'm not trying
to throw that fastball
past you. Neither of them are in there.
Neither of them were in that movie. What, are you trying to have
a second guess now? No, that was my
guess. As his lawyer,
as his in-house counsel,
you'll accept that? It's acceptable
for him to still say neither after he guessed
something that was...
I'm alright with that. And I reserve the rest of my
time to the senator from California.
That's our answer, we decided.
I'm glad that you settled on neither.
This is an exciting turning point in the game.
Incorrect. Sean?
Alright, Trey, look at me. Sean? All right, Trey.
Look at me.
Make eye contact.
Look at me.
Dang it.
All right, I think Plummer was in it.
Oh, no.
Incorrect.
Trey, Trey, for the win.
Fucking Lee.
Yeah, it was Christopher Lee.
I mean, if that's how you want to live your life
and call that a W, sure.
Christopher Lee, of course, was the answer every time.
The next movie was going to be
Hercules in the Haunted World
featuring Christopher Lee.
And then the torture chamber of Dr. Sadism
with Christopher Lee.
And then the tiebreaker, if we needed it.
We did not need it.
Was going to be Dracula A.D. 1972.
Wow.
That's the full title.
I didn't just add the 72 like what year it was.
I've seen that one actually.
Yeah, yeah.
What does A.D. stand for?
I forget.
A.D.
Liar.
All right.
No, I saw that one.
Let's play.
See, I told you there's going to be more games.
Good.
I'm ready.
Trey gets to go first in a round of ABCD's Nuts.
Yay.
He'll explain it.
I haven't played this one.
I'm okay at this one.
Yeah, this is a spelling game, Gruber.
And you're going to go third in this first round. So you'll figureber third in this time we get to you
this will be good each time it comes to you I'll tell you the letter you have to
name any movie it begins with that letter okay and if it matches what the
movie I've written down ahead of time you win automatically but if you're
correct and it's an actual movie then you get to stay in the game okay yeah
okay it's very very suspenseful watching get to stay in the game okay yeah it's very
very suspenseful watching people try to think of a movie that begins with a
letter but also a theme will develop yeah and what we are spelling is freaks
and geeks so the first layer how about that yes in honor of it was it was
Shawn's favorite show thanks bro so it is I watched the last episode of Freaks and Geeks the night before I moved to Portland,
which moving to Portland changed my life.
So it is, honestly, I mean, if you really want to get deep, nothing funny at all.
It is one of my favorite shows.
There you go.
I'm glad to hear that.
It's a good show to watch before moving to PDX.
So there you go.
And just next time you're on, just say the nothing funny at all at the very beginning of the show.
Just get that out of the way.
And then you can coast.
All right.
So Trey gets to go first.
Yeah.
The letter is.
I don't really hear my feelings.
It didn't.
I can't.
Trey's being mean, rubbing off on me.
Trey.
So we're going to spell Freaks and Geeks.
So basically, Trey gets the letter F.
Yeah.
I've written down the name of the movie.
Trey's going to try to guess it.
What movie begins with the letter F that I wrote down?
Fantasia.
Okay, that movie begins with a PH.
Liar.
No, it doesn't.
I'm thinking of Phantasm.
Yeah, you are.
No, it has a high PH, though.
It's like 14.
It's very acidic.
It's a lot of water in that one sequence.
It's a lot of fun to watch on drugs.
I went with another classic.
Obviously, Fantasia is a classic, but I went with another classic called Ferris Bueller's Day Home.
Oh, okay.
All right.
That's where my head was at.
Anyone?
So, Sean.
Anyone?
Anyone, anyone?
Sean, the next letter in Freaks and geeks is an R so name any
movie begins with the letter R Rambo okay I know that's not the movie I was
trying to think of what Doug might have been thinking but you know Rambo
there's a movie called Rambo it was a movie called Rambo oh what is that the
fucking fourth one or whatever there was first blood there was second blood
and then finally Rambo Oh Rambo was that I yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the later
ones yeah yeah the latest one where he shot the guy in the Jeep with the gun
yeah gee let's talk it all through sorry let's describe every shot the guy in the jeep with the gun yeah the jeep let's talk it all through sorry let's let's describe every shot the guy in the jeep by the way doesn't narrow it down
every disgusting vicious murder r oh you said rambos
i got lost i got lost in rambo's world for a while there. I was like in a tree and I had a knife in my mouth.
You were so positive though.
R.
All right.
Yeah.
I went with road trip.
Oh.
Road trip.
So E is the next letter for Mr. Allen.
Oh God, I can't think of a single word.
It begins with E.
I can't think of a single one.
Really?
I'm kind of freaking about it.
It's very weird.
All right.
Let's work through it.
All I've got to do to do it is just start saying it.
Just start going E.
Talk me through it.
Sir?
Oh, yeah.
No.
Sir?
I'm not going to do that one.
I'm not going to do that one.
No, sir.
All right.
No help from the crowd, please.
E.
I can think of a thousand bands that begin with a thousand songs.
Whenever it's your turn, you can say bands.
Okay.
I think there's a slim chance I've written them down ahead of time.
All right.
So here's...
But I'll keep you in the game if you can name a band that begins with the letter E.
No, I was going to name a song that begins with E.
Oh, songs.
Okay.
Yeah.
Now we're into songs.
Yeah.
Okay.
A song that begins...
And it was probably in a movie.
Even Flow.
Oh, I'm sure that's been in a movie.
We're going to have you.
We're going to have you.
Okay.
So that's your answer, Even Flow?
Was it in a movie?
My answer was Eurotrip.
Oh, I would have never gotten that.
So no match.
Never would have gotten that one.
We didn't match.
Oh, I see.
You have to match, so I'm never going to get this.
No, you're going to be in trouble with songs.
It's going to be a trouble test.
But I'm going to keep you in the game because you're a great guest.
Oh, thanks, man.
Thanks.
I love having you.
Eventrooper.
Eventrooper.
Trey?
Yeah.
What letter are we on?
A.
A.
A. A. A. A. A.
A. A.
A.
Yeah, see, it's easy. Just A.
Um... Fucking... Next time I come to town...
Alien. I'm doing it at the county library.
Shush, everybody.
Yeah, Alien.
Okay, that's a movie a movie No I know it is
Don't feel bad about yourself
You couldn't think of any movie that begins with E
I know but it has nothing to do with the theme that you're going for
Oh what do you think the theme is
Well I
It's not fucking Alien I know that
Cause I went with
My choice was Adventureland
Yeah damn it.
All right.
Sean, your letter is K.
Man.
Kiss, kiss, bang, bang.
Oh, that's a great one.
Good one.
I couldn't think of a movie that fits my theme that begins with the letter K.
All right.
I couldn't think of one, so I went with Kill Bill Volume 1.
So that one is off theme, you guys. Just disregard that one. That couldn't think of one so I went with Kill Bill volume one
That one that's not part of the theme pretend like pretend you're in a jury and the judge just told you that you didn't hear that
The next letter is s
And I'm still in right
Right, yes, we're doing okay. I'm gonna say son of something
And I'll just leave it open to you to tell me what it is and say That's what I was thinking of
Like son of son of
Son of Dracula enough. Yeah, son of drug. I would have given this to you if I had named a son of movie
Okay, but I did not like I don't think one of those fits my theme here. I went with a movie called
17 again of those fits my theme here. I went with a movie called 17 Again.
Yeah.
Featuring our friend Tom Lennon, who's going to be back
on the show soon. He's very funny in it.
Oh, that's a good thing then. Next letter,
Trey, is an A.
Aliens.
See, I knew it.
I knew you'd figured out the theme.
I went with American Pie.
Sean, the letter N.
Man.
I mean, I know the theme, obviously,
but Night at the Roxbury,
I'm getting closer to the theme.
No, you're not quite there yet.
This end is not another teen movie.
Oh, dang.
So now we get the letter D for Gruber.
Who knows what's going to happen?
Here's exactly what's going to happen.
This is exciting.
I got your theme down now.
Yeah?
So it's either Detroit Rock City, which had two seconds of Kiss in it, or Dunkirk.
Oh.
Because, you know, they're so similar.
Very smart guesses both.
But I went with Dazed and Confused.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
G for you, Trey.
Fuck.
It's not called, there's not a movie called Fuck, Trey.
Yeah.
I know. And it doesn't start with a D, exactly. it's not called there's not a movie called fuck track yeah fuck line of blow and write that screenplay Why can't I think of Anything
Godzilla
Okay yep that's correct
Several movies called Godzilla
I went with Get Over It
Featuring Kirsten Dunst
Or Kirsten
Kirsten
Deadpool 2
E is the next letter
Fariksa and
Geeksa
what do you got for E
and of course
Geeks has two E's in it just a heads up
I was thinking about that already
and I'm not going to do that one but that's the idea
fuck man
Evolution
good one begins with an E so close fuck man um evolution mmhmm mmhmm
good one
begins with an E
so close
election
oh
mmhmm
yeah
mmhmm
now the second E
in geeks
and it's
this is up to me
and I'm gonna tell you
ahead of time
that it's not gonna be right
but I have
I just
wanna mention
it's a good movie
and it's 500 years old. Ready?
Yeah. It involves surfing,
young people.
It involves young people
and the summer. It was a surfing movie.
And the summer, yeah. That movie fucking rocks.
That's a good movie. And it is kind of on theme.
Yeah. I went with Easy A.
Easy A.
Alright,
Trey, you're up next.
Oh.
Completing the category.
I had one.
Oh.
Kill Bill Volume 1.
You goddamn idiot.
I thought you said 2.
It's Kill Bill Volume 2.
Yeah.
I thought you said 2 earlier.
Shit. Holy fucking cow. said two earlier. Holy shit.
Fucking hell. Oh my god.
Trey, Trey, Trey.
Trey, Trey, Trey.
I'll chant Trey for that one.
Obviously it was going to be Kilvore.
Now I'm going to look like a shit bag
when I don't...
Oh my god.
Now this is exciting
because it's down to Sean now
and the letter is S
and Sean, just to make sure
that there's a winner in this game
if the Kill Bill thing didn't work out
right. That's crazy.
That's crazy. I couldn't have planned it
any better.
It was a total gimme.
I might have the movie though.
Well that's what I'm saying is, this is exciting,
because I've written down three movies
that begin with the letter S.
They all fit into this category.
I couldn't pick one.
Name one of those three. You win this game.
You get to go first in the next game,
so you're not winning much at all.
Well, with the pressure, dude.
That's why I said that last thing.
No pressure. Super bad. all with the pressure dude that's why i said that last thing uh no pressure super bad
that has to count i wrote down okay say anything 16 candles and she's all that
what a dick move super fast
Oh, what a dick move.
Super bad.
Super bad. Come on.
It's got fucking Emma Stone in it.
It's a great movie.
Did I say I wrote down all great movies?
No, not once.
Not once.
I'm saying maybe I said the right answer,
and you just didn't write it down.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
No, believe me.
I thought super bad, but one of these guys
might guess super bad, so I'm going to write something else.
Kill Bill Volume 3.
It's a cat and mouse game we play,
and I like to play with mouse that can't see or hear.
So thanks, Trey, for being that mouse today on the show.
These big-ass donuts are throwing me off.
You thought he said Kill Bill Volume 2
first. Yes, I did. Honestly,
I did. He did.
Some people see those movies out of order,
you never know.
Some people might.
That was great.
So,
Trey still gets to go first in this next game.
He's still our prevailing
champion, and he's going to determine right now at the end of this game
who takes home all the prizes because it's the final game of the day,
and it's something that we call Last Man Stanton.
It is often the last game in the show because, Gruber,
it's so much fun to play but also you get a real
shot here because you get
a lifeline.
Oh, nice. Yeah. Okay. You're a person
that you picked, Jessica.
She is
your lifeline if you need to go to her
one time for an answer.
Great. She might not even have the answer.
She might have it. You know what I mean? You're watching Cash Cab
and they roll down the window
and they give a shout out
to the street
and the person shrugs
and is like,
I don't know.
Then they go back
to their homicide investigation.
That's great.
Okay, so then...
I would say if Jessica's
got a good internet connection.
Right?
I'm sorry.
There was somebody...
Someone was speaking my
language
primitive language
I've been
studying that
on Babel
but I'm not
up to that
exactly
I love
I just love
doing that
it doesn't
bother most
people
disgruntled
furious language
yeah
you know
I think Doug
just said I would like a croissant please and he did say like croissant yeah no that's most people the scrumpled furious language yeah you know I think Doug just
said I would like a croissant please and he did say like yeah yeah no that's how
I'd say I've been waiting for too long for my croissant with groye all right so
this is gonna be fun and Trey's gonna start so we're gonna get from an
audience members been pre-selected We're going to get, from an audience
who's been pre-selected, we're going to get the name of
an actor or actress.
And I don't know
who it's going to be because I like to play along.
Troy, Trey.
He looks more like a Troy right now
with all that lace on his fingers.
He's eating Troy nuts over there.
And so
he gets to go first and then we'll go to you. Me, actually.
And then Gruber. And then Sean.
Can't think of one you're out. Everybody's got
a lifeline. But let's find
out what name we're dealing with
today. Is there somebody in the audience
on Twitter who goes by
Goatboy72?
And have you seen
DraculaAD72?
Okay.
And why are you called this?
Why are you called Goat Boys 72?
I like goats and the number 72.
All right.
Could someone escort him from the building?
Seriously.
That's like weird and weird.
See what I mean?
That's how we stop violent things in this country.
We just find people who say things like that, and then we put them somewhere.
Vetting process.
Maybe in a cage with some immigrant children.
That'd be a good place for them.
Jeez.
Vet the shit out of them.
Oh, I went too far with my...
Yeah, Doug didn't put them there.
Remember that.
He's commenting.
He's observing.
I didn't put them there.
I just observed it.
I thought it was a great thing to say.
I didn't like it.
And I don't want you to go there, Goat Boy.
I'm just telling you, I want to tear into everybody today.
Have you ever met Goat Boy 71, by the way?
No. You're asking him or me?
I'm asking you.
This is the only Goat Boy I've ever met.
And I'm a little mad at him because 72 is my favorite number.
And yeah, I play it all the time in roulette.
And I never win for some reason.
Can't figure it out.
Because you're not following Wesley Slides advice.
Yeah, because it's not back.
It's the red number.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, bad system.
Did you learn nothing from that movie?
What's your actual name?
Damon.
Damon.
OK.
Oh, and it's in your Twitter handle
page or whatever. It says Damon.
It's on your name tag. The Killing of a
Sacred Damon. Oh, nice. It did not get chosen
as I predicted.
Wow.
Damon is late for a soccer
match. Let's move this along.
Stand up and show everybody.
I think you look cute, Damon. Soccer shirt.
Okay, sit back down.
He was going to show his shoe.
Now stand back up again.
Hey, there's a guy with his feet on the stage, but at least he's got shoes on him today.
There's a lady last night.
Long story.
Okay, so.
That could go so many ways.
Damon, who would you like us to play today in Last Man Stanton?
Scarlett Johansson.
Scar Jo.
Now, we're not going to be naming movies that she recently pulled out of due to societal pressure.
Rub and tug does not count.
Which I am already baffled by why a movie about a trans person is called rub and tug.
But anyway, it's not happening apparently.
Unless they can find another rub and tug but uh anyway it's not happening apparently unless they can find
another rub tub tugger and uh she's not playing that part anymore trey you look at me like you
heard nothing of this controversy no no and rub and tug that's like that's what we call massage
parlors like why is that a trans thing that's why that's why i i pointed it out but with my own
words yeah yeah i thought it was an odd choice for a title.
And that's why my face showed such.
Don't group me into your we when you say we call massage parlors.
I call them all the time.
Whoa, it was a royal we.
I call them massage parlor and massage parlor, my friend.
Oh, okay.
Sorry, I didn't.
And I'm not married yet, so I will not go to a massage parlor.
It's because we're in Salt Lake City.
You're trying to clarify, so we don't get.
Did you bring your board, bro?
We should have a crash.
No, dude.
Well, we're out of time. for everybody good night everybody for all your support um wait okay
so scarlett johansson so now i need to i need a like like the flight attendant when you're in the
emergency row i need a yes from each of you If you're comfortable playing this game with Scarlett Johansson, or
if you would like a second name to
add to the mix to give you more
options. Trey,
are you okay with just ScarJo?
No. Okay.
Trey would like another name. Sean,
would you like another name? Yeah. Okay.
Sean's in for another name. Gruber definitely
wants another name. Well, because the last movie I saw
that had Scarlett was Scarlet O'Hara.
Oh, okay.
Scarlet O'Hara.
I really thought you were going to just blow it out.
No, I wasn't going to do it.
Rub and toe.
So I would love a different name.
Absolutely.
It's not going to be a different name.
Whatever it is he said, that's what I want.
It's going to be in addition two.
Addition two, yes.
We're going to get two names.
Got it.
But this next name could be worse.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Well, it's not a bad name. names, but this next name could be worse. Oh, boy. Yeah. I don't necessarily think someone named
Alien underscore Dingus
is going to give
us an amazing name,
but who knows?
Where are you, Alien underscore Dingus?
You're behind
the pole. I can't even see you.
That's the obstructed view.
Oh, my goodness. Do you have a soccer jersey on?
You fucking better.
Why didn't you sit closer?
Because that's the dingus spot.
Oh, okay. It's alien dingus.
People don't want a dingus among us.
Undocumented dingus.
What?
The dingus ate your baby.
Alright, Sean, do you have have one as long as everybody's
no I don't
dingus
what's your actual name dingus
Andrew
okay
what do you think
do you have a better name than Scarlett Johansson
you just said um like
you're you're trying to think of a name right now who richard dreyfus the great richard dreyfus
he's amazing i got a couple cuts on richard yeah i got a few i'm good i mean what a ridiculous thing to say. I'm alright. How old are you?
It's none of my business, but
you better be like
48.
Richard Dreyfuss talk?
I mean, we don't have
that much more time, so this will work out great.
No, yeah, this will be perfect.
Yeah.
We got Scarjo and
Dickie D. Richard Dingus.
Good old Dick Dreyfuss.
Do you know that's the name of the lion in that insurance company ads?
That's a lion.
Dreyfuss the lion.
What?
I think so.
No, I didn't know that.
Which lion?
The one in the ads.
For the insurance company that has a lion as their logo.
I'm not familiar.
Okay.
ING?
No.
Trey's not familiar with insurance.
Twyfus.
Yeah.
Stick up for yourself, Trey.
No, man.
They have plenty of fucking social programs that'll pay for my medical.
I'm off the grid myself.
I haven't had my name on a bill in 15 years, doc.
I'm not going to clap for that.
Way to keep that going.
Talking about it into a microphone.
Um,
Trey,
start us off.
I'm next.
What name?
Any movie with Scarlett Johansson or Richard Dreyfuss?
Richard Dreyfuss.
What about Bob?
Huh?
What about Bob?
What about Bob?
Great one.
Yeah.
Very good.
Yeah. It's funny. Cause it does have a question mark on the end. Yes. Yeah. What about Bob? Huh? What about Bob? What about Bob? Great one. Yeah, very good. Yeah.
It's funny because it does have a question mark on the end of it.
Yes.
Yeah.
What about Bob?
It does, yeah.
Seriously.
A great movie.
What about that motherfucker?
All right.
I want you to be my neighbor, question mark.
There's a couple of them.
I'm going to go easy on you guys.
I'm not going to take any of the obvious ones.
I'm going to say like Jaws.
Yeah.
I would have forgot Jaws.
Me?
Yeah, it's your turn, dude.
American Graffiti.
American Graffiti.
Very good.
Nice.
I love ScarJo in that.
She was a baby in that.
She was a baby.
She was great.
She was somebody's baby.
I remember the crying baby in the one scene.
That was her.
Lost in Translation.
I like that little spin you put on it too.
The movie should be called Lost in
Translation.
I like it.
Lost for words.
Trey. The Avengers.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, you could throw a Marvels on there
if you wanted to,
but the first one was just called The Avengers.
I'm going to go with, like I said, I'm going to try to keep it obscure,
not take away anything anybody's thinking,
and I'm just going to say Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
I would have forgot that one too.
Dude, you're doing me a favor.
You definitely are. Can I do one and give you a line from it
And you tell me what it is
So I don't have to keep yakking up here
If I go and I don't like panties on the line
And another thing I sleep in the nude
I'm naked
Yes that is Scarlett Johansson
And no that's
It was the goodbye girl
Yes goodbye girl
Boy It's on Edison's cylinder if you want to watch it It was the goodbye girl Goodbye girl Boy
It's on Edison's Cylinder if you want to watch it
Edison's Cylinder
Go ahead
Sean
I'm doing the Andy Kindler double take
I've been on shows with Andy
It's great
She's just not that into you
What? She's just not that into you. What?
She's just not that into you?
Are you sure that's what it's called?
Hang on, people.
Yes.
Hang on, everybody.
Am I having a stroke?
You guys are freaking me out.
This is crazy.
Yeah, I'm just double checking.
She's just not that into you.
Because I'm not sure if that's the right title.
You don't sound very confident.
Oh, no, I'm going to check it.
Somebody check it.
No, because then you'll be wrong if I'm right.
So you could change it, or you could go to your lifeline.
This is odd to me.
Or fine, I'll say always.
Richard Dreyfuss was a good guy.
There you go.
Always.
Very good.
Nice.
All right.
I'm just trying to be careful here.
The corrections department doesn't open again until Monday,
and I want to put this episode out tomorrow.
Trey?
Cheryl.
Sorry.
Oh, he's going to Cheryl.
Ghost in the Shell.
Ghost in the Shell.
Very nice, Cheryl.
Yeah, very nice.
Yeah, I have no fucking idea what that movie is.
It was just out, and she played an Asian person,
and there was a backlash.
Oh, I thought Richard Dreyfuss was in it. that movie is it was just out and she played an asian person and there was a backlash
i thought it was a richard driver's movie
oh you want a richard dreyfus movie dude no i want to hear it
yeah no i'm going dreyfus oh man dreyfus all the way you're're going to take mine. I know you're going to take mine. I don't think so.
Yeah.
I think this one's very special.
All right.
And I'm the only person in the room that knows it.
The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz.
Wow.
Okay.
I'm sure it's not she's the Apprenticeship.
She's just the Apprenticeship of Dobie Gillis.
What?
I used to watch Dobie Gillis.
Dobie Gillis.
Yeah.
There it is, man.
I like to eat at a Dobie Gillis.
What are you going to say next? I used to watch Dobie Gillis. I like to eat at a Dobie Gillis.
What are you going to say next?
I was almost going to go to my lifeline,
but since you didn't take Mr. Holland's Opus,
I'm going to take that one. Oh, Opus.
Come on, right?
Opus Mareshi, wherever you are.
That's all I have to write down, Opus.
Opus Mareshi.
Okay.
He's just not that into you.
Yeah, I'm right, right?
Yeah, 100%. I just I just wanted to save
you from that but people the audience they agreed with you which made an extra
sketchy yeah what the hell seemed like I was fucking with you bottom line Shawn
is that he's just not that into you it's the correct answer? He never has been. Trey. It's a lie. I'm totally
into you, dude.
See, you're always trying.
Totally, man.
Fucking gnar. Tyson Bowerbank, Lizard King.
Are you stalling, Trey? Yeah, totally.
I'm stalling.
Have you used your lifeline yet? Big Trouble and Little Cheryl?
Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, she pulled out the
Dreyfuss movie. Ghost in the Cheryl, she said.
That's right.
Captain America Civil War. Oh, look, she pulled out the drive. Ghost in the Cheryl, she said. That's right. Captain America Civil War.
Oh, look at you.
Pulled that straight out of my butthole.
Snail.
Oh, you snailed him.
Oh, my God.
Has everyone seen that in their life?
For the listener, I went to give Trey a pound,
and he put two fingers under my wrist
and upped it like snail ears,
or snail tentacles, or whatever they're called.
That's the second episode in a row
I think I've snailed somebody.
Do it again just for everyone that didn't see it. Snail.
It's perfect. Oh, let's do it
for the group. Never mind. It's fantastic.
I like you again. Gruber, do you want to get
snailed? I like that.
Yeah, that was cool. I liked you the whole
time, man. Oh, here it comes.
Sean's going to try to do it?
Yeah.
Give me a pound.
My friend Andy does the hug where you do your pinkie.
Dang, those are cool.
All right, let's do more hand gesture humor on another podcast.
There's 20 minutes of silence on the podcast.
I don't understand.
No, everyone's laughing.
So much snails.
What was your last answer, Trey? It was Captain America Civil War. Oh, yeah, everyone's laughing. So much snails. What was your last answer,
Trey? It was Captain America
Civil War. Oh, yeah, that's right.
That's right.
I'm going to go
another Dreyfus movie,
The Big Fix.
Keep stealing all the Dreyfus movies
right off the bat. I know, you're the one.
You came up with Scarlett Johansson. First, you should have said more
of those, because now I have to go to my lifeline.
Oh, shit. Where's your lifeline?
There it is.
What?
Aeon Flux with Charlize Theron?
Did she play Charlize Theron in that?
Yeah.
Oh, she seems so embarrassed now.
I think she was wrong.
That's not right.
Oh, dang, I'm sorry.
Yeah, but you still have one chance to say something to save yourself.
Like JFK is always a good one.
Don't say another one.
We took Ian Flux.
Yeah.
She's very polite.
I want to know what the other one was now, but don't say it.
Don't cough it.
Answer it.
People are trying to help you with the cough answering you know you're saying that i should
that kind of thing of course she's not in that you were in that that's right you would have seen her
on set yeah you said that you go to the set every day ghostbusters sit next to paul feig and say
nice suit yeah i say that's your job walking stick compliment is walking uh what uh what do you
want to do is back up do you know i was i'm going to say jfk is always a good one to say because
you know so many actors in it that there's a chance that one of those two isn't in there one
of those two could be in in jfk possibly but think of another one that's kind of like a big cast no
i was even going to just say because i'm cluelessess, I don't know who's in clueless.
Is anybody in that list?
That was Alicia Silverstone.
A lot of people in clueless.
Stacey Dash.
But neither of the two people we're looking for.
I would have liked to see ScarJo in the Stacey Dash role.
I know, but that didn't work.
I am clueless.
It's both my answer and my condition.
All right.
Congratulations, Gruber.
You made it through an episode very far into it.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you, Wala.
Jessica doesn't have a
shithead on the back of her name tag
for me to say at the end of the program.
Sounds like Jessica's a shithead.
Do I have to come over? Oh, that's not...
Oh, come on.
Why don't you come down here
and write something on the back of that right there? I'll give you a sharpie. You can just come down and write something On the back of that right there
I'll give you a sharpie
You can just come down and write something for us
Can I say an answer to win? I haven't won in a while
We're still playing the game
Gruber's out
I think she can come down
She's coming
Jessica Ligula
We're going to get this all figured out. Oh yeah, she's
gotta step over a chain. Good job.
Yeah, you were almost on it,
but then it turns out you were off the chain.
It's spelled T-R-E-Y
G-A-L
Y-O-N
Alright, whose turn is it?
It's Sean's turn. Yeah, Sean's.
The Avengers Infinity War. Yeah, okay.
Good job. Can I ask you a
question does it contain punctuation no you could add a colon or whatever this
is just checking people getting all uptight on Sean for saying the word and
then she's earlier when it was you meant he's I mean that's a different movie
it's a movie I'd like to see Trey why honest with you. Trey, why does it always have to be he?
Thor Ragnarok.
Oh, look at you.
Which one was in that?
Where is she?
Yeah, she's in one of those.
She's in one of those flashback scenes when he's trying to become not Hulk anymore. Oh, you think she's in a post-credit scene?
No.
She isn't?
No, she's in the bulk of the actual movie.
Isn't she?
No.
No.
What does she do?
Hang on.
We're going to just talk to Damon about this.
Oh, he's in a video.
Well, then most movies would count.
He watched it and was like, I'm not Hulk anymore.
Remember?
All right.
All right.
We don't know that until Damon says it.
No, it's okay, Sean.
Trey's going to be out soon enough.
Don't worry about it.
God damn it.
I'm going to say...
Oh, this is a good one.
This is probably one that you're thinking of.
Probably one of my dry fist joints.
No, I'm going Scar Joe.
Okay.
And I'm saying... We bought a zoo. No, I'm going Scar Joe. Okay. And I'm saying we bought a zoo.
No, I wasn't thinking of that one.
Oh, shit.
Man, really?
No, I wasn't.
What else were you thinking then?
Well, we're going to go to Steven.
Okay.
So what do we got?
Don't say what I'm thinking, please.
Ghost World.
Oh, interesting strategy.
Fuck yeah.
She and Ghost World.
Ghost World.
Ghost World.
It's a good one. Yeah, Ghost World. Oh, interesting strategy. Fuck yeah. She and Ghost World. Ghost World. Ghost World. It's a good one.
Yeah, Ghost World.
Was she like six?
No, she was in her early 20s probably playing Teenager.
I'm going to go with, if you want to go back to when she was young.
Trey.
No, I told you he's going to lose.
So I'm going to say.
Whoa.
I mean, I'm going to give it a try here.
Yeah, no, seriously. All right seriously give it a shot buddy you got this
she was in fuck man it was oh I wish she was in a movie called that
what how lewd Scarlett Johansson is fuck man
get your finger out of my area, bro.
It's one or the other, and I don't remember which.
Her. Give it a shot.
She.
Fuck.
Wait.
Shush.
Pick one.
Her.
Correct.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Directed by Spike Jonze.
Oscar winning skateboarder Spike Jonze directed that movie.
That's fucking amazing. All right, calm down. Oscar winning skateboarder. Spike Jonze is. That's fucking amazing. Alright, calm down.
Spike Jones is cool. John Malkovich, the whole
thing, we know. You know what else is cool? The
Coen brothers. They put her in a
movie called The Man Who Wasn't There.
Wasn't gonna get it, dog.
Thank you. Thank you for the
golf applause. Just a smattering.
Just a light smattering.
Captain America
Winter Soldier?
Ooh.
Look at you.
Look at you.
Fuck you, Trey?
Trey?
Captain America, the first Avenger.
Wait, oh, what?
That one takes place before she's alive in the timeline of the MCU.
I was just fucking throwing it out there, man.
Oh, it was a question, not an answer?
No, no, it was an answer.
Okay, she's not in that one, right, Damon?
Correct.
Correct, okay.
Damon is going to decide everything.
Henceforth.
All right, don't celebrate too soon, Sean,
because if I win, I'm taking the prize bag.
There's some good stuff in there.
So you have to fight to the death for the prize bag.
And I'm going to say that Scarlett Johansson.
Wait, whose turn is it?
Is yours or mine?
Yours.
Okay.
The Nanny Diaries.
What the fuck is that?
That's a movie that Richard Dreyfuss plays a nanny.
And he writes it down, everything that happens.
And then I'm like, well, why am I watching this movie?
It's just a guy writing everything down.
Yeah.
But then eventually he wrote enough to have an opus.
And he was riding the diaries on a motorcycle with Che Guevara in Latin America.
Is that that movie?
Yes, yes.
That was a cool movie.
I liked that movie.
That was it.
That was it.
Oh, I just thought of another one.
With a vampire.
There's one more.
Sean, what do you got?
Come on, say it.
You got it, bro.
No, no, hold on, hold on.
Talk banter a little bit.
Okay.
Okay.
What's your answer, Sean?
How do you like that for banter?
That was good.
Match point?
Yes, match point.
Oh, dang.
Yes.
Wow.
She did that, and then she went and worked with Vicky and Christina and Barcelona.
Vicky, Christina, Barcelona.
No, it's got...
You know it.
Man, I don't want to...
Nobody likes listening to silence, I get that.
But I'm noodling something around.
Okay.
Sounds gross when you say it.
Show your work.
I think I'm noodling a lot.
Let us know what you're feeling.
Hugh Jackman's in it.
Oh, okay.
Sounds like you're on the right track.
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion?
No, is she in that?
Wait, what?
The Curse of the...
Hold on, hold on.
There's either a cow got into the facility.
Or someone's saying, no.
Or someone's turning one of those cans over.
Greg Anton, Joe.
Rub and tug.
I don't know, man.
Iron Man 2?
Is she in Iron Man 2 at all?
Yes. There you go.
Good one, bro.
I'm going to go all the way back to
a movie with
Dickie Dreyfuss where
he said the line,
should I get the cops? Do you want me to get the cops?
And a movie called
The Graduate.
Oh, no way. Oh, it's true.
Really?
It is.
Dang.
Yeah, that's totally true.
I'm showboating now.
Stealing all my Richard Dreyfuss deep cuts.
Doug on the reach around.
It's almost like you can see my lower back from where you're sitting.
That's a long reach around.
I have every Richard Dreyfuss movie tattooed on my lower back.
It's odd that you're staring at that right now.
Come on, dude.
Come on, graduate.
Curse the Jade Scorpion.
I said it.
You tapping?
I'm tapping.
All right, I'm the winner, but Sean won the prize bag for
Wet Hot American.
Steven, come get your prizes, Steven.
Congratulations, dude.
Come on up.
Oh, you got a Brewvie shirt on.
It's a local brew house and movie theater.
You want to grab that one for me?
Thank you so much.
Congratulations, dude.
Thank you for doing that.
STEPHEN JANES, Stephen, you tripped up the stage as if you
didn't know there was about a foot and a half high step that
you had to hop up.
I do, Playboy. Hell yeah.
Thank you. Wait, Big Trouble and Little Cheryl
doesn't have a shithead on the back either.
What is with the... You guys are all
so nice here. You don't want to call anybody a shithead?
You got nothing? What do you think, Cheryl?
Oh,
should I just read his instead of yours?
Okay, the patriarchy wins.
Wow.
Utah. There you go.
Oh, wait, no.
This is going to turn on me.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Let's do plugs really quick.
Trey.
It's a woman, isn't it?
All right.
Trey, what do you got to plug?
Oh, buy my album or listen to it on spotify or whatever you use uh the moronic yeah
it's all right and then i'm recording another one in september at creep records so i'm excited about
that yeah uh september 14th and 15th at creep records they're an old school punk label it's
been around since the early 90s and we're going to do it up. Are you recording it at the... At the record store
slash head shop. Oh, nice.
Wink, wink. Okay.
Yeah, man. So we're going to have a good time with that.
Look forward to that, everybody. All right. We'll probably see
you again before then. Oh, I would imagine.
That's a long time away. Yeah. I just wanted to
get the word out. Okay. Sean Jordan, what do
you got? I'm a co-host on
a podcast called All Fantasy Everything. Yes.
As discussed earlier. That's right. Great show.
We just draft things, so
after you've listened to every single podcast that
Doug has done, if you have time,
give a listen to All Fantasy Everything. Oh, that's very sweet of you.
You can just turn this off right now
and go right to his podcast
is what I recommend. The other plug
is I'm recording an album, and the shows
are both sold out, but I just wanted to say
thank you to Doug Benson because he's basically the reason I'm recording it album and the shows are both sold out, but I just wanted to say thank you to Doug Benson because he's basically
the reason I'm recording it.
Oh, stop it.
Nice.
So there it is.
Very nice.
And I'm thrilled.
I'm putting out an album
on Special Thing Records,
so I'm excited about that.
And yeah,
so this is fucking awesome.
I love life.
Everybody have a drink.
Let's go thrash, bro.
Woo!
Nice.
Gruber is going to be
singing in a library,
singing, reading. Singing and reading in a library. to be singing in a library. Singing, reading.
Singing and reading in a library.
Singing and reading in a library.
On every day?
Or are we talking about show day?
One hour.
It's one hour.
If you do not have a job, if you live, I'm sorry to go to the grid.
If you live near 3300 South and 800 East, yeah, go to the grid.
With the exhausting addresses.
Seriously, you have to come to this show.
Myself, Lupe Carranza.
I don't know if you know Lupe Carranza.
And two actual librarians rocking out
in the Calvin S, nobody knows what the S stands for,
Smith Library, July 30, 1030.
You have to be there.
I would love it if you come to that show.
All right?
1030 AM.
SLCountyLibrary.org for more. 1030 to be there. I would love it if you come to that show. All right. 10 30 a.m. County Library dot org for more
10 30 in the morning
and watch 10 30 in the morning. Yeah.
Stay up from the night before. Yeah.
And then go. Whoa. Groover's in the
library, bro. I'm going to go
to the McGroover hour group.
I wonder if I could check some books out,
bro.
I'll be sure to watch it. It, bro. Home growing. They have it.
It's in the vegetation section.
Home growing.
Where's this groover been the whole time?
I know.
He was asleep.
I actually did.
I was the one that tried to pass him the line earlier.
Dude, they have Gibby's Shelter on DVD, bro.
Why don't we come here more often?
Oh, my God.
Hey, by the way, did anybody pay their property taxes this year?
Somebody did, right?
It pays for the library, so thanks.
When you pay property taxes, keep it in mind.
Way to go, man.
Shout out to property tax.
Wait, did you really say, did anyone pay property taxes?
No one applauded?
I got no applause, and one guy goes, boo.
One guy goes against property tax.
They're like, we're all renters.
I noticed you're not wearing your Make America Greater hat again.
Be sure to watch Gruber on Love, on Netflix.
Go find everything he's ever done.
IMDB here.
There's a lot of stuff.
And also, Rob Riggle's Ski Master Academy on Crackle.
Oh, okay.
Do you want some snaps?
Do you want some pop? They go for Sony's
Crackle. Is Crackle really a thing
still? It's a real thing. It still exists, right?
Okay. Rob Briggle, Ski Master Academy.
Check it out, August. Ow!
And I've got a new special on Seeso,
and so
be sure to check that out.
And this
credit is real. I'm going to be doing
stand-up at the Improv in Tampa Florida on Wednesday
August 15th that's always
a good time you guys
are always a great time here
at Salt Lake City
thank you so much for coming
out one more time
for all of my guests Trey
Gallion
Sean Jordan
and Dave, parentheses, Gruber, end parentheses, Allen.
Thank you, Doug. Thank you.
Thank you guys so much for being here.
I have to read the shitheads, and I took a shithead from a guy
who doesn't even really deserve
to have his shithead read,
but here goes.
I'll mix them up so you guys don't all know
which one was which.
I used to do magic at kids' parties,
and then their parents would be like,
could you please, we didn't hire you.
As always,
Chris Hardwick is a shithead.
And, no, this one's really going to rock your world, you guys.
Amy's boss,
Breece,
is a shithead.
Play that end theme, please.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another
talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing
prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart
for you, cause Doug
loves movies.