Doug Loves Movies - Dave Shumka, Graham Clark and Ngaio Bealum guest
Episode Date: June 25, 2018Live from the Rio Theatre in Vancouver BC, Doug welcomes Dave Shumka, Graham Clark and Ngaio Bealum to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice a...t https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
I love movies!
Just throw that extra one in there on the end.
Oh, we got some donuts on the stage already.
Some little mini Donettis and then whatever this is.
Baked baker's box.
One bake, two bake, three share.
What does that mean?
Does that mean these have weed in them?
Because I was told that, you know, Vancouver, the Couve, wasn't that into edibles.
Or maybe you're into them, but they don't sell them in the dispensaries. Is that true?
No, it's true or no, it's not true.
Yeah, it's interesting, right? You guys will figure it out.
October 17th, whoo!
And we're coming to you from the Rio Theater in the aforementioned Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
It's Sunday, June 24th, 2018.
And this is a very special event today.
It's a Douglas Movies movie interruption combo.
After, yeah, I mean,
we'll see how you feel five hours from now.
But after
this Douglas Movies taping,
me and my guests
are going to stick around. There's going to be a
break in between so you guys can get your
smoke and your drink and whatever else
you want on. and then we're
going to regroup and do an interruption
of the Twilight Saga
Breaking Dawn Part 2.
So if any of you have
any responsibilities
like if part way into that movie
you're like, fuck this.
Then by all means go ahead
and take off but
I'm hoping everybody stays till the end.
We'll definitely cut it off before...
The end credits are like 15 minutes long
because they credit everybody that had anything to do
with the first five, or all five Twilight movies.
And my question for you now is,
did anybody bring a Twilight-themed name tag?
I know we have lots of name tags, but did anybody go the Twilight route on their name tag?
I'm going to high-five all of you for not doing that.
I thought that would happen.
Let me see what you did bring, just briefly.
Oh, boy, there's lots of them.
I love the Jaws turned into Josh.
That's always good.
Doug the Pug, and it's just a big pug face.
Is that the pug from Men in Black or just your dog?
It's a dog.
It's not even your dog.
I don't fucking know this dog.
Just some random dog.
And then Navy Meals instead of Navy Seals?
Neals, okay.
You looked at it like, you were like, did I write meals?
Navy Neals, okay, I get it. All right. So there's lots of good ones. So
don't have to worry about that. My guests are going to have a tough time deciding.
Doug plugs. Tuesday night, June 26th, Doug Loves Movies is back at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles.
That's this Tuesday. And then next Saturday, June 30th,
the people of Pittsburgh will be treated
to a 420 Doug Loves Movies at the Rex Theater.
For all my dates and deets and links,
go to douglovesmovies.com.
That's douglovesmovies.com!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Vancouver!
Yeah, Vancouver! Yeah, Vancouver!
Van City, man!
From the corrections department,
it's the bingo long traveling all-stars and motor kings.
I regret the error.
Get it? Baseball error.
Anyway, and the Chipotle...
I call it Chipotle now
because I heard someone mispronounce it as Chipotle
and it's Chipotle
the Chipotle gift card
that Mark Norman put in the prize bag
at the New York City show
had zero dollars on it
he proudly announced
that it had 20 bucks on it
and the whole crowd applauded
so apologies
I couldn't figure out who won the prize bag that night based on it and the whole crowd applauded. So, uh, apology, I couldn't figure out
who won the prize bag that night,
uh, based on, uh, Twitter and stuff.
So apologies to the prize bag winner.
If, because also at Chipotle,
you go down the line and get all your shit.
And then once, once they're, you know, rung it up,
that's when you hand them the card
and find out that it has zero dollars on it.
That's, that That could be embarrassing.
It's bad enough you're at Chipotle.
You don't need that.
That's happened.
Although I find it delicious,
but I don't know if that means it's good.
This show today is a benefit
to save this very theater.
Hashtag save the Rio.
I assume that most of you have been here before and come here often.
There's so many great things going on here.
Tomorrow night they're going to do a double feature of both Deadpools,
which that's how I saw Deadpool 2 was in a double feature with the original Deadpool.
And it's a really satisfying double feature.
And then there's a Freaks
and Geeks documentary this week they're doing a couple of grease sing-alongs I
don't know how I feel about that I don't know if I need someone loudly singing
there are worse things I could do in my ear and then Blade Runner the final cut
whatever that means cuz because, you know,
what's his name? Ridley Scott's still alive.
He can still tinker
with it a little bit more.
Oh, and also the great anime
Akira. So all that's coming up just in
the next week here at the Rio.
So once again, hashtag Save the Rio.
We don't want this place to
not be a theater anymore because if it
gets bought, then it's going to definitely be a theater anymore because if it gets bought,
then it's going to definitely be developed
and turned into something else
in this bustling, exciting neighborhood.
And also, it was raining when you guys came in,
but it stopped already.
So that's another reason I have to thank you
for being inside on a Sunday afternoon.
Today's prize bag includes stuff
that I was able to get through customs.
It's all in a bag that I was in a hotel room I was in recently,
and I was not a part of this event,
but apparently it's something about America's health insurance plans.
It made this lovely bag, so I was like, okay, I'll put the prizes in that sometime.
We've got a, I saw SpongeBob SquarePants on Broadway
and so here's the
program that
they gave me. It's got a pineapple on the back
so you know it's true.
You know it's real. I was in
Columbia, Missouri recently
so I stole Inside Columbia
magazine from the hotel room.
Yeah, you might want to learn about
Columbia.
Probably the third or fourth on the list
of interesting places called Columbia
in the world. I like it
there. Oh, Flat Branch
Pub and Eatery.
That's not the whole name, but Flat
Branch in Columbia. Shout out to them.
It's delicious. John Hodgman,
a friend of the show. His book Vacationland
recently came out on paperback,
and he sent me a copy of that to give away.
Got a sippy cup from when I saw Mean Girls on Broadway.
And a, oh, a T-shirt.
You guys might know Seattle Radio.
There's a morning show called BJ and Migs.
They gave me one of their T-shirts when I saw them recently.
And a Douglas Movie sticker.
SpongeBob SquarePants
keychain. All of that
plus stuff brought
by my three guests. Please
give it up everybody
for Dave Shumka, Graham Clark
and Ungayo Bilem. Hello
Hello
There was a shumka
Out of an audience member
That's exciting
But let's meet them individually Might as well start with shumka It's Dave shumka out of an audience member. That's exciting. But let's meet them individually.
Might as well start with Shumka.
It's Dave Shumka, everybody.
Hi, Doug.
Good to have you back.
It's been a minute.
We were talking backstage.
You did the show once in Seattle.
You popped down there.
Yeah, as a Vancouverite,
we listen to tons of Seattle radio.
So I'm glad you brought that shirt or whatever.
You certainly get stuck with the Seattle TV stations, right?
We sure do.
Oh, yeah.
Cairo 7.
Cairo 7?
Cairo 7.
King.
King 5.
Yeah.
Como 4.
That's it, yeah.
Yeah.
KSW.
KSW.
Yeah.
Como 4.
That's it, yeah.
Yeah.
KSW.
So you guys know after Saturday Night Live,
the NBC affiliate in Seattle had a show that went off the air a long time ago,
but they still run it.
Yeah.
I was watching it last night.
Almost Live?
Almost Live.
Yeah.
When I was a kid,
they played it before Saturday Night Live.
Yeah, they would hold Saturday Night Live
for half an hour.
Yeah.
And I'd be like coming through,
touring, doing comedy, and I'd be like, fuck
these guys. I don't need
these jokes about Tukwila.
I don't know what goes
on in Ballard. Puyolip doesn't make me laugh.
Yeah. But, yeah.
And it was like, and my whole life
I didn't even know that Saturday Night Live
wasn't on Sunday mornings.
Like, I was like, oh, jeez. Starts at midnight, yeah.
And we did a live podcast in Seattle,
and they said you can have any,
we'll try to locate any guest.
Any Seattle celebrity you want.
And we were like, Bill Nye the Science Guy.
And they were like, no.
He's tough to get these days.
He's like out there acting like he's a real scientist.
But we got the guy
we got john keister john keister from you did get him we did okay well i would have just gone right
into that instead of saying that he was second best i mean we were talking about almost live
but uh so that guy still lives in seattle he's doing good yeah he's uh teaches at the art
institute i don't know This was eight years ago.
Alright.
And then you also appeared on, we did a show at the Comedy
Mix here in Vancouver, and I think
you were on then once too, right? I think so too.
With Harlan Williams, maybe? Oh yeah, maybe.
Yeah. Alright.
I've done
so many of these that I'm happy when I can
remember anything that happened.
Let's also give it up
for Graham Clark, everybody.
Hi.
Hey.
Hi.
Now, of course,
I mean, it's hard
to introduce people separately
when they're the co-hosts
of a podcast,
but I'll tell you right now
that they co-host
Stop Podcasting Yourself.
And that's been around
for how long now?
Ten years.
Ten years.
Hey, I'm trying to interview Graham now.
But ten years.
And this show's been around for 12, so we're pioneers in the podcast game.
There was just fields and seeds.
And we were all given a plot of land to grow our own podcast.
We were white people with a basement, and we thought, oh a plot of land to grow our own podcast.
We were white people with a basement, and we thought, oh, we can make a podcast.
Yeah, I didn't even, someone had to say to me, do you want to make a podcast?
And I said, I'll do the talking part if someone else do all the rest.
And then, you know, here we are.
Yeah, and we didn't know that each other was on the show today.
We found out backstage when we saw each other.
Hey, what are you doing?
Yeah, and you've gotten together to do episodes of your show four or five times since I asked both of you to do this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, seems like you got a really strong bond.
Sounds like you guys really get to know everything about each other
when you see each other.
No, it's just all on the podcast, right?
You just save it for the podcast.
Exactly.
You're not going to talk about being on this show because I say keep it a secret.
That's right, and we did.
From each other, even.
That's why we keep it a secret.
What are you doing Sunday?
I have a thing.
Yeah.
Church thing.
Church is going along.
We keep it a secret so that, you know,
to get that big reaction that
we got when you guys walked out here.
And also to not get groans and sadness
from the audience when Ryan Reynolds
does not walk out here.
There's two reasons to keep the guests
a secret.
But let's hear it for our third guest, M'Gayo Bila!
Hey!
What's
happening, Vancouver? How are you?
You guys have really nice weed,
so thank you. Already, I'm a
fan. Yeah, it's pretty good.
It's pretty good. Good weed and good public
transportation.
Vancouver has felt to me, because of the, you know, know mark emory and stuff this place has felt to me like weed has
been legal for many years and i can't believe now it's finally october 17th right it's all going
down we should come back up because the date's moved a couple times already i hope it doesn't
move again because if it moves into winter fuck it i'll'll see you in 2019. But if I could get a visit up here around October 17th, that'd be fantastic.
Oh, why not?
Yeah, right?
We might be on the show.
Who knows?
We might still have to save the Rio.
Like, I don't know.
I don't know how long of a process this is going to be.
I think they need to raise millions, and that's not going to happen today.
Well, we're going to make a sizable dent. Dozens. We're going to happen today. So maybe I'll do it. Well, we're going to make a sizable dent.
Dozens.
We're going to raise dozens.
We made a really big check backstage.
We just made one.
Yeah.
We're not going to fill it out, but we have one.
And it cost us most of what you've been paying
to get that giant check.
And, of course, N'Gario lives all over California,
different spots.
Wherever I lay my hat is my hat.
Why are you up here?
I'm up here for the International Cannabis Business
Conference, which is happening at the Sheraton
Waltz Center tomorrow.
Right? Because you guys are going to have legal weed.
You guys know Canada
exports marijuana to Germany
because Germany has a medical marijuana
system, but they're not allowed to grow it.
So you guys, Canadian weed is in Germany.
I smoked some. It was pretty good.
You guys are international.
Early adopters of the international
legal weed smuggling game.
Yeah, my favorite strain is
Och Tang.
It's the best one I could think of
quickly.
If I sit here and germinate on it for a while.
Gutscheiße?
It couldn't be just Gutscheiße?
Maybe, yeah, maybe.
That'd be good.
Sure, why not?
I don't know any names.
Yeah, I know.
I'm trying to do something with triple Urkel.
I mean, Kusch seems pretty German.
Yeah.
I'll get back to you guys.
Could someone print me out a list of weeds
and of German words?
How do you say blue dream in German?
Somebody here probably knows. I think I should have maybe
asked some guy to sit in between the
stop podcasting yourself guys.
They're going to just start riffing with each
other like they got their own show again.
So Dave, what did you bring for the prize bag today?
Oh boy.
Well, if the audience reaction was any indication of how excited people will be getting about
this, it's a Stop Podcasting Yourself t-shirt.
Woo!
This features me and Graham on our city's coat of arms.
Yeah, and that's one size fits someone.
One size fits large.
Yeah, very large.
And the other thing I brought was this shirt.
It has a quote from my favorite movie.
I am Queens Boulevard.
Wait, Vince says that in the Entourage movie?
No, he says it in the show,
but the movie Queens Boulevard is my favorite movie.
The fictional movie.
So it's a quote about your favorite movie.
It's the movie from season two of Entourage.
Aquaman?
No, Aquaman was season three.
Let's see, what was season four?
Wow, you're like deep in the career.
You should have a podcast about Entourage.
He dropped out of Matterhorn. Wow, you're like deep in the career. You should have a podcast about maybe doing... Oh, what did he...
He dropped out of Matterhorn
so Jake Gyllenhaal could do it.
I thought of a great...
And then he did Medellin.
And then he did Medellin
with the same director at Queens Boulevard.
Here's a great idea for a podcast.
No one talks about Entourage,
and it's called Non-Tourage.
It's the only thing
you can't bring up.
That's an impossible podcast.
That's way better than LeBron-Tourage.
I like that too, though.
Does he have one?
Have you heard that before?
He will now.
You just put it in the universe.
Get it out there.
But he seems like he can walk around by himself and be cool.
LeBron-tourage?
LeBron.
I think it's a spontaneous generation of tirage when LeBron walks in.
He can just ready assemble one from whatever, like nanites in the air.
I get it.
No nanites? No technical?
I'm trying to keep up
With the different entourages
Yeah
Prontourage
Would probably be the next
There's two
There was
Shrimp convention
Oh yeah shrimp convention
Yeah yeah that'd be good
Come join our prontourage
That's actually not a bad slogan
For a shrimp convention
They were gonna call
District 9 that
District 9 2
The prontourage
Yeah One of them gets famous I saw District 9 that. District 9 2, The Prontorosh.
One of them gets famous.
I liked that show a little bit in the beginning
and then for some reason
watched every episode.
Even though I was just
hating it more and more
as it went on.
And getting more and more
irritated that the four guys
in the movie,
or like the main guy,
Vince,
he's supposed to be
a movie star
and he's played by an actor
who can't even get big movies during
the breaks from Entourage.
Like he was
Han Hathaway's boyfriend
in Devil Wears Prada.
It was like the biggest thing that happened while he was making that show.
I, one time in the
summer when the movie came out, my brother
and I went to a theater just to get
air conditioning, and we saw the Entourage movie and he
had never seen an episode of Entourage
and I didn't tell him it was
a TV show, so when he sat down
he was like, what the, why the fuck is this
what is this story?
Yeah, really
like people complain about Infinity War
not catching you up to who all the characters are
but Entourage really didn't give a fuck
if you had any idea and then that's, but Entourage really didn't give a fuck if you had any idea.
And that's, of course, why it probably didn't make any money
because it was a comedy movie with no laughs in it
and characters you did not already love.
And it was full of cameos that were just like 2015 to a T.
Right, and they would just walk through.
They'd be like, I'm mad at you, and then walk away.
They never actually did anything. The cameos
were like, well, I'll come by if I can be there
for less time than it takes to shoot the scene.
If I could just run
through the movie.
And Mark Wahlberg, he just
plugged seven projects he was working
on in the movie. He's like, as long as I
can plug my shoe store
and Walburgers.
And he did in the movie.
I love that you called that his projects.
His products.
He came to plug his products.
What do you got for the, speaking of product, what do you got for the prize?
How'd you know?
Actually, I think I left it in the green room.
I have a box of pre-rolls from Grizzlers Canada.
It's very nice.
Did we just, so we decided to skip, Graham?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you were talking to me!
I was excited! No, I was trying to look around you, but
I gotta move my chair, because
I'm constantly looking around. Here we go.
Now you're gonna block Dave.
Move it into like a semicircle. Here we go.
Yeah, there we go.
Twelve years, and I've insisted on
a straight line every show. If I'd only known
about the semicircle.
People like to think, the audience likes to imagine that we're around a fire.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just talking about movies and playing games.
So, I'm sorry.
Who brought you the lately?
Finish your description of what you brought.
You brought weed?
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, I brought a box of pre-rolls. Five pre-rolls from Grizzlers Canada. You have to of what you brought. You brought weed? Is that what you're saying? Yeah.
I brought a box of pre-rolls.
Five pre-rolls from Grizzlers Canada. You have to be at least 19.
I think they had to at least be 19 to get in here.
Oh, well, there it is then.
Yeah.
That's the drinking age here?
Oh, man.
I wish I had a DeLorean.
That's the everything age.
That's when you can become president of Canada.
Okay, so what do you got, Graham?
I got a vintage, very good condition,
Mad Magazine from 1979.
The fold-in has never been done.
It's never been folded in, so you'll be the first.
Oh, pass that down here.
Virgin folded. Pass all this that down here. Virgin folding.
Pass all this stuff down here, actually.
I got to get it all collected.
I left it in the green room.
I'll get it for you, I promise.
All right.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't think we're going to be hanging around outside in between shows.
The prize winner will figure out where we're at and come get it.
But yeah, this Mad Magazine is pretty cool.
It's pretty sick.
Yeah, I might keep it.
Some of those jokes are clearly from 1979 as well.
Yeah, I'm just a huge fan of that Superman movie
and Christopher Reeve as Superman.
So that'd be fun to read that.
We're going to take a quick break while Doug skips.
Doug reads movies.
Doug reads movie parodies.
I am Frodo and I've got the ring.
What the?
I've heard of bulletproof vests, but a bulletproof chest?
Let me out of here.
Well, it took all night, but it was worth it.
That was a good reading.
Thank you.
We'll be in touch.
All right.
So all that's in the prize bag.
And then I have one question, maybe two,
that I like to ask all my guests on every show.
And we'll start with Dave Shumka.
What was the last motion picture you saw in any format?
It just has to be the most recent.
Doug, it was a movie called Borg vs. McEnroe.
Okay, listen.
ESPN doesn't count.
30 for 30 or whatever.
Is it a real feature film?
It stars Shia LaBeouf as John McEnroe.
What?
Yeah.
First that Gotti movie snuck up on me, and now this.
How are they putting out these movies with big stars?
I haven't even heard of it.
It's, uh, I, look.
Who plays the other guy?
Some Swede.
Oh, so it's like Bjorn Borg.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought it was like a weird science fiction.
Yeah, it's Star Trek The Next Generation.
I was like, wait, I never heard of this.
Was this in the 80s when McEnroe was hot?
McEnroe versus the Borg.
Yeah.
Like a Terminator tennis tie-in.
I'm going to get assimilated.
You've got to be kidding me.
Good, right.
Come with me if you want to serve.
Yeah, he just looks up into the heavens and screams,
In!
Instead of Khan.
Okay, so is it any good?
Yeah, it's fine.
Like, since we last saw each other, I've had two kids, so I just see dad movies now.
Like, I've only seen two movies this year, and the other one was The Post.
You didn't see Coco?
No.
Yeah, when you say dad movies, we assumed movies you'd watch with your kids. But you've seen two movies where your kids were busy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they were...
This movie is just for daddy.
Yeah.
And they were those two movies.
Yeah.
Interesting choices by an interesting man.
Thank you.
So, yeah, the thing is Bjorn Borg's real intense.
And he's got to keep the temperature in his room a certain temperature.
That's it.
That's the whole movie.
Wow.
What's the temperature?
Don't hold us in suspense. Oh, you're right.
Cold. Cold. He likes it cold. Did you ever say to yourself, I can't wait for this to be
Wimble done?
I will take that groan.
Any reaction. I will take anything for my efforts.
Graham Clark, last movie you saw.
Last movie I saw was late last night,
a movie by a Canadian guy called Frank D'Angelo.
Do you know Frank D'Angelo?
I don't think I do. He's this guy, he's kind of like our version
of the guy that made The Room.
He's kind of an insane,
he somehow gets these movies bankrolled.
Do you know, does the audience know?
Do you guys know Frank D'Angelo?
Do you remember an energy drink called Cheetah Power Surge?
That was him.
That's where he got all his money to make these crazy movies.
And he has actual famous actors.
James Caan was in this one.
It was called Sicilian Vampire.
James Caan is in it.
Paul Sorvino's in it.
Daniel Baldwin's in it.
And it's crazy.
He only does one take.
He shoots the whole thing in a week.
And sometimes you can tell
that the dialogue
that needed to get out
didn't
and so you're like
what was that scene about?
But he doesn't have
any footage
to cut away to
and it's about
a mafia guy
who gets bitten
by a vampire bat
becomes a vampire
they try to kill him.
He comes back for revenge.
I don't want to spoil the ending.
But at one point,
he beats a man to death with his own arm.
So, rips off the arm,
beats him to death with it.
I was going to say,
normally you'd beat somebody with your own arm.
That's a rule of thumb.
Right, you can't beat a man with an arm bigger than your thumb, I think. That's the rule of thumb. Right, you can't beat a man with an arm bigger than your thumb, I think.
That's the rule of thumb.
So it's just an unknown playing the guy that gets bitten?
No, it's Frank D'Angelo.
Oh, he's a star.
Directed and stars.
He's very Tommy Wiseau about it.
Yes, and in the credits, if you stick around to the credits,
it's like a high school film where it's produced by Frank D'Angelo.
Directed by...
And the soundtrack's all by him as well.
Him singing.
He sings all these torch songs and covers
and it's him singing.
And then he puts out a soundtrack album
that comes with it.
Is he a good singer?
No, he's all very bad.
Is he here today?
Because people seem tense.
Is he really in the mafia?
I have so many questions.
Right?
That movie grossed $8 billion overseas.
Yeah, so how can people in the real world see this movie?
Yeah.
Like, how'd you get it?
From a guy.
That's what I mean.
Did you buy it?
It fell off the back of a truck.
Why do you want to know?
It was on a movie channel that I have,
but he just, like, just last week premiered his new movie,
which is about a stand-up comedian called The Joke Thief,
and it premiered in Markham, Ontario.
And anyway, so you can get it online.
You can get all of his movies online,
Frank D'Angelo,
if you really got some time to kill.
Cannot recommend about it.
Doug comes up here and he's like,
oh, it's the beginning of summer,
they're going to want to talk about summer movies
and we're like,
a bad Canadian one and an old sports movie.
You know, I'm willing to hear about anything, especially these ones that sound avoidable.
Yeah.
Like you're giving everybody good tips on what not to see.
But let's check in with Umgayo.
What was the last movie you saw?
Hotel Artemis.
For reals?
Yeah, I did.
Okay, so some people are cheering.
Jodie Foster.
I love the cast.
International treasure.
Jeff Goldblum and Dave Bautista.
But what is your take on it?
Without giving anything away.
I thought it was pretty good.
I thought their take on the near future was very acceptable and very interesting.
For instance, the police force is like a private business.
They're pro-shield, which I thought was kind of cool.
Sterling Brown's an excellent actor.
Oh, yeah, that guy's great.
It's freaking great in it.
And Drax is cool, and Jeff Goldblum is cool.
And there were a couple of things I was like,
but overall, I gave it like a solid B, B+.
Yeah, I heard it's very violent.
It's the 21st century.
Oh, okay.
All right, got to expect that. Into the Badlands and The Walking Dead isst century. Oh, okay. Right? Got to expect that.
Into the Badlands and The Walking Dead is on TV.
Oh, okay.
I didn't think it was more violent than like John Wick 2.
That's what's so funny is Walking Dead on TV is like watching an R-rated movie with commercials.
Oh, my God.
Like it's so violent.
Right.
And what was the other one you compared it to?
Into the Badlands.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if they...
Do you guys have that here in Canada?
It's the best kung fu movie.
It's the reason why I get mad when I have to watch Iron Fist.
Because Into the Badlands is if you like the kung fu type shit, that's the shit.
Why do you have to watch Iron Fist?
I don't.
Well, I'm trying to maintain continuity so I can follow the whole thing.
But he is clearly not the defender of Kun Lun that he should be.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Yeah, I'm just saying. Everybody defend Kun Lun that he should be. Took the words right out of my mouth. Yeah, I'm just saying.
Everybody, defend Kun Lun.
Whatever it is, defend it.
No matter what you ask.
Please defend the Kun.
And the Lun.
Don't forget the Lun.
Okay, so.
What about you?
Oh, thanks for asking.
Hey, we're friends.
It's always so hard for me to remember.
Surprise.
Yeah, because I...
Shit, what was I watching?
I was watching something in the hotel room.
I like watching...
When they show a movie on TV in Canada,
like I was watching the comedy channel here one time,
and they were showing Dax Shepard's Hit and Run,
and they leave in all the swearing. all the cuss words they leave it all in and then but so you
then you're getting really used to watching a movie and they're cussing and then they go to
a commercial break yeah it's a little startling but i prefer it over the fucking it's a culture
shock thing with the bleep yeah i prefer plucker or whatever they yeah when they put in those
those fake words, although Edgar Wright
goes out of his way.
Nicky, thank you.
Yeah,
Edgar Wright goes out
of his way
to put in words
that are like
a funny change.
I mean,
they're still not great,
but at least it's like
the person who wrote it
in the first place
gets to decide
what they say,
what the clean version
is going to be.
Fair enough.
But yeah,
most of the time
it's like Scorsese movies.
It's so annoying.
Like,
I don't know why
Martin Scorsese
allows that to happen. Did you meet my wife? Meet my wife. Did you meet my wife? It's a Mark Pese movies it's so annoying like I don't know why Martin Scorsese allows that to happen
did you meet my wife?
meet my wife
it's a Mark Pitta
that's Mark Pitta's bit
did you meet my
what do you want me to say
that I met your wife?
I met your wife
it's not mine
it's not my
this is the version
everyone can enjoy
yeah yeah
right
I don't know why
he's so angry
but like you can't even
you just can't even meet her
holy shit
what happens if you fuck her he was really he was really angry about like you can't even you just can't even meet her holy shit what happens if you fuck her
he was really
he was really mad
about a meet up
he's gonna be really upset
when he finds out about that
so yeah
I still haven't answered
your question
sufficiently
cause I
surprise
yeah
you know
cause I watch movies
all the time
yeah yeah
I had no idea
that you did that.
Yeah, but I saw something.
Okay, we can leave it at that.
I saw something recently.
The sign?
What?
Don't come in here with your Ace of Base references.
So why you ask me?
Where's Ace of Base from?
Are they Canadian?
They're Swedish.
Swedish, fuck them.
Like Jorn Borg. Yeah. They They're Swedish Swedish Like Bjorn Borg
Yeah
They're as Swedish
As the day is Borg
I wonder how cold
They keep their rooms
Oh boy
Well
Anna Fried
Keeps her room
At
Like
18
Anna Fried
Is of course
From ABBA
Not Ace of Base
Oh yeah
We all assumed
You had the right name
And also didn't care
Both
Everyone was completely on board
but I mean you guys sort of
I thought you might have seen
American product recently
because my next question was going to be
and I'll start on this one
What's a Canadian movie
that's specifically a Canadian movie? What's one
that you can recommend that you really like?
I'm super into comedy, so mine's The Sweet
Hereafter.
But what do you
guys think? Dave, do you have a favorite?
I would
guess my favorite might
be FUBAR. Yeah,
FUBAR. Which is about these
bangers.
Yeah, I've heard of that. It's a mockumentary about these burnouts. Okay. And it's, yeah, it's real funny. From, like,
I don't know, 15 years ago. Okay. Only comedy recommendations? No, no, anything, yeah. There's
a really great one called Hardcore Logo. It's about a punk band that reunites and travels across Canada.
And it's a guy named Bruce McDonald made it.
And it's great.
It's great.
It's very, you think they're like a real band.
It's so well done.
And they're not a real band.
Is Bruce McDonald from Kids in the Hall?
No, McCullough.
McCullough, okay.
And Kevin McDonald.
Yeah, that's right.
But if they got married.
Confusing, yeah.
They got married and made that movie.
Yeah.
I like that.
Do you know a Canadian movie, Mgaio?
Strange Brew.
Yes, of course.
I still say it's a beauty, eh?
We also would have accepted Porky's.
Porky's?
Porky's is probably...
Is that Canadian?
Porky's was like the biggest grossing Canadian movie for 20 years.
Yeah, Bob Clark, who directed that and lots of other things, he was Canadian.
And it was only replaced by Air Bud.
That was the big, took over as the all-time highest grossing.
Still stands to this day.
took over as the all-time highest grossing. Still stands to this day.
If I'm answering
honestly,
and also just off the top of my head, I'd say my
favorite Canadian movie is Goon.
Oh yeah, Goon's great.
Sean William Scott.
Goon 2's on Netflix now. I haven't watched it yet,
but I'm going to watch it because I
like the first one so much. The second one's
good too. There you go.
Last of the Enforcers, if we're going full title.
Oh, God.
Which we will soon, because it's time for me to say,
turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
It's such a chill crowd.
I feel like everyone should come up and say their favorite Canadian movie, too.
Yeah, we'll just form a line up one staircase.
They just say the movie, walk off the other side.
It's like some sort of weird Doug communion.
I love it.
God, that would be torture to listen to.
A hundred people naming their favorite Canadian movie.
Let's just do this.
Everybody, at the count of three, just yell out your favorite Canadian movie. Let's just do this. Everybody, at the count of three,
just yell out your favorite Canadian movie.
One, two, three.
Oh, I love that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is a good one.
I didn't know that was Canadian.
That was so Canadian of many of you
to not participate in that game.
Too nice to yell out even when asked.
Okay, so they got name tags.
Right.
Gentlemen, go pick one.
Just go grab the one you want to play for, bring it back to your seat.
While you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after these words.
Hey, who wants more Doug Benson road dates?
You do?
Okay, great. I'm going to be in Columbus at the Funny Bone
doing Doug Loves Movies at 420 on Saturday, July 7th. And then the next day, July 8th,
I'm doing a 420 standup show at Go Bananas in Cincinnati, followed by an eight o'clock
Doug Loves Mov movies in Cincinnati.
So go bananas and get tickets to both of those shows.
And then of course I'm doing an annual dabs day show on July 10th.
This year,
the lucky city is Ann Arbor,
Michigan,
where I'll be at the Ann Arbor comedy showcase.
And then on Saturday,
July 14th,
Doug loves movies returns to the wise guys comedy
club at the gateway in salt lake city at 4 20 all of these shows have great guest books schedules
permitting back to the show all right we're back We did it.
Let's start with Dave. What kind of name tag you got there? This is a big one.
It's made on poster board.
Why are you
asking us?
It says it's a Max, Max, Max,
Max world, so I'm guessing
that it's from someone named, I don't know,
Lucy.
And it's got some Smarties, which is a Canadian candy.
And it's got Reese's Pieces, which is...
We have Smarties in the States, too,
but it's a different candy.
Yeah, what you call Smarties, we call Rockets.
Rockets.
Much better name.
Yeah.
And then Reese's Pieces.
Yeah, and...
Those are the same no matter where you go.
Yeah, that's an evergreen.
Yeah.
And so I'm guessing Max?
Max.
Maxine.
Maxine.
Oh, la la.
Yeah.
And she's got lots of previous guests on the show, none of whom are here.
Yeah.
Or on that name tag.
Oh, if only John Hammond made the flight.
Oh, boy.
A little like compared to my face.
Traffic in L.A. was terrible.
He really wanted to come, but he couldn't make it.
That happens.
All right, yeah, so you can just throw that down on the ground,
face up, so that I can refer to it on occasion.
And also, you never know when It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
might be, well, can't see that at all.
I just meant just put it down on the ground in front of you.
Oh, in front of me.
Yeah, yeah, then I know that's your name tag that on the ground in front of you. Oh, in front of me. Yeah, yeah. Then I know that's
your name tag that you picked.
In front of you. Yeah. Graham?
I don't know who, I don't know what the name
is. Who is this?
It's a name tag without a name?
They wrote a bunch of shit on it.
Yeah, it's got my name and it's got
Let the Games Begin. It's got your name on it.
It says Bert, turn it off.
It's got all sorts of names,
but not... You spell Clark with an E?
No. I didn't think so. They did.
Yeah. So this person is
really fucking up in every which way.
What's inside the box? Donuts. Don't look in the
box! Donuts.
And Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
Alright, so does the guy want to
share a name?
Ryan.
Real reluctant.
Oh my god, this
relocation program is not going to work out for me.
And this also was something
that he won at a giveaway
at a show that I hosted.
So that's why I was drawn to him because he's like, you gave this to me.
And I was like, I guess I have to.
He's re-gifting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He gave you mouse ears?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, Brian.
I'll try to remember your name's Brian, but if I don't, I'll just call you Donut Box.
And Graham, could you flip that box open
so that I want to be able to see
the donuts and have easy access to them
when I want to throw them at people?
And this is a long show
so people are excited.
Excited to get fed.
Alright, N'Gaya, what do you have?
I have Alice's Son in Wonderland.
And it's got Doug as a Cheshire Cat
with a big, fat doobie right there.
But really, the deal is it's got peanut M&Ms,
which are, like, my favorite snack.
And it's also got caramel M&Ms,
which I'll put in the prize bag.
Oh, yeah, let's do that.
Here, tear that off of there.
But you keep the other ones.
But these are for me.
Yeah, I like that.
It's a good plan.
She did not put a shithead
on the back,
so we will consult with her.
And then someone else
handed me a bag of
apparently medically infused
gummy candies.
Oh, all right.
Find me after the show.
Why?
What's going to happen?
You'll see.
Okay, so that's who you guys are playing for.
We're all going to Tim Hortons.
And I got clarification on the, what's this box that ended up on stage?
It's all the ingredients to make your own edibles,
and it's called Baked Baker's Box, and thank you for bringing that for us.
You have to supply your own weed and your own
eggs. Supply your own weed butter and eggs.
Eggs aren't illegal, or they're not legal
in Canada until November, so...
There's going to be a month
when weed's legal and eggs are illegal.
It's going to be a weird
month. A lot of weird smugglers.
Weird black egg market. We rough up our eggs
at the border. I mean, eggs are weird smuggling. Weird black egg market. We rough up our eggs at the border.
I mean, eggs are pretty easy to smuggle.
Trust me.
You have to relax.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And sit really still.
Yeah.
I can get about a half dozen.
Amateur.
I just rough mine up and then wear them across the border.
That's a good news joke if you follow the news.
Okay, you don't have to filibuster.
I'm ready to continue.
We're so afraid of these games.
Just so afraid of silence.
Well, plenty of it tonight.
Is it better than being used to it, Doug?
How do you feel right now? Silence. Wow. Plenty of it tonight. Is it better than being used to it, Doug? There it is.
How do you feel right now?
Apparently.
We've got your answer right there.
We've got the answer.
This never feels great.
It's like they all ate three edibles each.
You ate seven.
I can hardly finish a sentence without you starting to talk.
Damn.
Well, I just don't want it to keep happening.
Let's just start the game then.
Good call. That's a good... give him an example of it immediately.
Go back and listen if you get a chance, because he's doing it every time I speak since we got out here.
Let's start with a game called...
Live, Die, Repeat!
with a game called Live, Die, Repeat.
Here's how it works.
I'll say a movie title.
First one of you
that repeats back
the full correct title.
That lady's running
the restroom
because she knows
how dumb this game is.
The first person who repeats back the full correct title is knows how dumb this game is. The first person
who repeats back
the full correct title
is the winner of this game.
And it's, of course,
between the three people
on stage.
Do we have to...
Questions.
Yes, sir.
How is this still a game?
Do we have to wait
for you to finish?
Nope.
Okay.
Yeah, as soon as you think
you know it,
just blurt it out,
but it's got to be accurate.
Exact title.
Yeah. How many guesses do we get? I'm going to say it slowly. As many as you think you know it, just blurt it out, but it's got to be accurate. Exact title. Yeah.
How many guesses do we get?
I'm going to say it slowly.
As many as you want, but no more questions.
But just yell it out, yes?
Just yell it out, okay.
Anytime we feel it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Rogue One.
That's the idea.
See if you can get to it first.
That's his pre-guess, Rogue One.
Any other pre-guesses?
Oh, shit. Rogue One. Why would you can get to it first. That's his pre-guess. Rogue One. Any other pre-guesses? Oh, shit.
Rogue One.
Why would you guess the same?
Oh, that is a good one
to go. The Incredible
Wanderstones.
Okay, here we go.
Look good, feel good.
The Incredible
Word
Word
Bird undertone
Bird undertone
Yeah bird
Incredible bird
It's about a guy who tans
Yeah
The burnt undertones
The
Incredibles 2
Twi
Light
The Twilight Zone, the movie?
The Twilight...
Saga.
The Twilight Saga Burning Bread,
or whatever it's called.
The Twilight Saga.
The Twilight Saga Genesis.
The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2.
That's it!
That's it!
Nice.
What did you say, Burning Bread?
Yeah.
I just love playing a game where two of you were not sure of the name of the movie we're about to watch.
We're going to watch a movie?
Yeah.
Well, not for the, you know, this podcast won't be privy to that part of it.
I'm glad I'm going to watch a movie so I have something to talk about on a podcast.
Yes.
If you don't see any movies until I see you again, we could talk about how the last movie you saw was...
It might make you not want to watch movies anymore.
If the Sicilian vampire didn't do it, nothing will do it.
All right.
So that means that Dave gets to go first in our next game,
and it's something called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
Ah.
So this is one at a time.
I'll start with Dave, then I'll go to Graham, and then to Nguyo,
and I will say the tagline of a motion picture,
and if you get one guess, if you can guess it correctly,
then you win a point, and then eventually I'll say, okay you can guess it correctly then you win a point
and then eventually I'll say okay.
And I get as many guesses as I want, right?
No, just one guess each as I
just said.
Per my last email.
I only read the subject of an email. I don't bother
with the content.
Okay, so this is how it works.
I'll say it to you, Dave.
You get a guess.
If you don't get it, then we'll move on to Graham.
He gets a guess on the same movie.
If you get it, then we'll move on to a different movie for Graham.
All right.
What movie had the tagline,
and no audience help, please,
and get those M&Ms open
because the fucking crinkling is going to drive me crazy
right into the microphone.
Is that theater on fire?
I love that I have Reese's Pieces and you have peanut M&Ms.
Sitting and Graham, the most allergic man in the world, is right between us.
Hi, everybody.
You're allergic to pieces?
Yeah.
Mostly.
Allergic to M's?
I'm allergic to the letter M.
Get that away from me.
All right, Dave, you're going to start us off with,
what movie had the tagline,
nothing will be the same?
I mean...
Really descriptive.
Yeah, boy.
Could be a lot of movies.
Sex and the City 2 Okay you know
If you're just gonna joke around
Well
Graham
Nothing will be the same
So it's about a movie
Where something's different
And nothing could be
More different
Than the movie
Mannequin 2.
Full title?
I don't know. Is that not?
No, it's Mannequin on the Move.
Because in the first movie, she was stuck on a pole the whole time.
I've been there.
What a horrifying film.
Avengers Infinity War.
Oh, that's an interesting title for that movie. Wasn't that in the tagline for the movie?
I mean, it might be something similar to that.
It's not the best tagline for a movie that's not the best movie.
That's from the first Twilight movie.
Oh, boy.
Very first Twilight.
I really didn't do my Twilight reading.
Nothing will be the same.
All right, we'll start with you.
Including your opinion of the people who made this film.
We'll start with you, Dave.
Yay.
It all begins with a choice.
I'm going to guess Twilight 2, Doug.
No.
It all begins dot, dot, dot.
Maybe I should have said that to Dave.
Oh, okay.
Can I go again?
That probably threw you off.
It all begins dot, dot, dot with a choice.
The dot, dot, dot movie.
No, that was it.
That was it.
Sure, fine.
That's all your guesses.
Graham?
Sophie's Choice.
Now see, that seems like a very obvious...
That movie ends with a choice.
Yeah.
That's the problem there.
So this movie is a movie where someone decides
which of their children they're going to stay with
at the very beginning.
And then it's a rom-com.
And then you just don't know what's going to happen.
And the rest of the movie...
You can't reunite the parents.
The rest of the movie, she's like,
oh, I picked the wrong one.
What was I thinking?
This kid's a real handful.
Joe's the other one starting their own business. Oh, I don't think that's a real handful. Just the other ones starting their own business.
Oh, I don't think that's how.
Okay, so what do you think it is, Umgayo?
It starts with a choice?
It all begins with a choice.
It all begins with a choice.
It all begins with a choice.
Ooh.
Noice.
What's the one?
No, I don't. Shit, Fifty Shades of Grey no I don't 50 shades of grey I don't know
no this is the
twilight saga eclipse
number 3 in the series
oh
did you think there were going to be a bunch of
20 year old girls on the panel
like when you put no that's why it's fun
because you're going to miss every time
no theater of cruelty yeah maybe we'll see on the panel like when you put them on? No, that's why it's fun, because you're going to miss every time.
No.
Theater of cruelty.
Yeah, maybe. We'll see.
Dave?
This one... This tagline is
The next chapter begins.
Oh, I think this is probably
a prequel.
Let's see.
Okay.
Twilight bending.
Twilight spinning yarn.
Graham.
It is Twilight for sure.
Twilight.
What is it?
The next chapter begins?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Twilight.
Twilight Book Club.
I don't know any of the subtitles.
Anyways, that's my guess.
Twilight Book Club.
Okay.
It's all blanking blank.
Twilight bestiality
versus necrophilia.
Versus the Borg.
But the Swedish one,
not the robot.
That, of course,
is the second one
in the series,
the Twilight saga,
New Moon.
New Moon, yes. All right, New Moon. Ah. New Moon.
Yes.
All right, so Dave,
you can do this.
I think.
I think you can do this.
The tagline is,
forever is only the beginning.
Boy, Twilight.
You know what?
I'm going to go off the board on this one.
Let's see.
Harry Potter and the Magic of Capes.
I wish one of the Harry Potters was called the Magic of Capes.
Or Harry Potter, Cape Fear.
Graham?
The thing is what?
It doesn't matter.
I mean, I don't want to hold your hand too much on this,
but we've established they all start with the words
The Twilight Saga.
The Twilight Saga.
And then more words after that.
Part whatever the one, part two, but part one.
The one that we said earlier, but part one.
I'm going to fucking throw a donut.
Try to throw the darkest donut possible
into the unlit crowd.
Twilight Taga, the darkest donut.
That sounds like porn.
Or a terrible hemorrhoid medication.
Use new dark donuts.
Okay, you want to throw one then, wise guy?
You want to throw a light-colored donut?
An LCD?
Come on, Nguya.
It's a glaze, eh?
Whoa. Jesus. I mean, that one
got lost in the lights.
That was like a scene from The Natural.
Okay, so
Graham didn't know what that was.
Can you piece it together
please tell me the phrase again forever like that's gonna help forever is only the beginning
twilight saga part five the reckoning the reckoning yeah all right well so the one we're
gonna watch today is called twilight saga breaking dawn part two so this i thought someone by this
point would figure out
that there was a Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1.
That's what I said!
Alright.
Here comes
the tiebreaker.
Buckaroo bombs on the instruments. Have we been through
the first four?
Yes.
Okay.
You never know what's going to happen in this game.
Yeah.
Dave.
Yeah?
What movie has the tagline,
Next stop, the Twilight Zone?
Oh, boy.
It's got to be about a train.
Yeah.
The Twilight Saga.
Serling the Rod.
That's the best joke you'll hear tonight, guys.
Oh, no.
What have we done?
Hashtag save the Rio.
Just when you're not laughing,
remember it's for charity.
You came here to not laugh for charity.
No.
Is it Twilight Zone the movie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why not?
That means Graham is our winner of that game.
Well done.
Well played.
Go ahead and chuck a donut in the crowd, sir.
That's your prize for winning.
Pink?
I mean, those donuts are all upside down, like the person who brought them just shook the box.
Oh, that was a gentle one.
I'm a gentleman.
Yeah.
Did somebody catch it?
Okay.
I don't think we'd hear if it hit the floor.
They still eat it.
It is a soft donut.
I do like playing movie theaters because they can't come up and say,
hey, you know, after the show we have to clean up garbage off of the floor.
I go, yeah, it's a movie theater.
You're used to that.
I'm getting used to that.
What is this, your first week as a movie theater?
You brand new in the movie theater game?
I'm getting used to this.
All you got to do is walk across the front of this room.
Everyone here will hear your foot stick to the floor.
They really aren't in a position to
complain about donuts, but thank you to
the Rio Theater for letting people bring them in
because I bet you when you come see a movie
here, you can't just bring a box of donuts.
Unless you brought one
for everyone. That's why they need to save it
because their business practices are so bad.
They just let people bring in spaghetti or whatever.
There's a kind of potluck.
Yeah. Tim Horton should open a movie
theater, though. That would be...
Because then you could get donuts and coffee.
I'm the only one
with... Go to the Tim Hortons.
Any movie theater could just do that, I guess.
Okay, fine.
I don't know why people wouldn't want donuts
with a movie, I guess, because they're sticky.
Depends on the movie.
Okay.
Whether or not you want your hands
to be sticky or not.
Come on, really? Do I have to, like, lead you?
Please.
Induction and deduction, right?
With your sticky hands.
Yeah, take our sticky hands and show us.
Take the sticky hands.
The popcorn bag.
Diner?
Was that Diner?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Lorraine Bracco.
Mickey Rourke put his dick through popcorn,
and he never worked in show business again.
He just showed up, did a lot of sex scenes, and then retired.
That was the story.
Yeah, that was the story.
I mean, he was in lots of movies after that, but nobody liked him anymore.
Yeah, everybody was like, ugh, this guy.
Once that girl reached into the popcorn and touched his dick.
Well, he insisted on doing it in every movie.
I mean, it worked in Nine and a Half Wigs, but The Wrestler, it was weird.
I'm thinking of Mickey Rooney.
Or wait, I think Mickey Rourke
says to another character to do that.
That's how it works, yeah.
And somebody else is dumb enough
to follow through and put their...
Boyd?
Boyd?
All right, there's an old person.
They just wash their heads.
Diner heads, yeah.
That movie was one of those classics
that I always thought would be like
everyone would always talk about it,
and I don't think people today give a shit.
I thought it was just okay when it first came out.
Yeah, exactly.
People talked it up a lot.
They sure did.
Like it was the movie of a generation,
that kind of thing.
People were like, boy.
It's no big chill.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was, you know, Gutenberg was hot.
But Ellen Barkin's great.
Hot off the success of Police Academy 3.
Ellen Barkin is great in it.
Daniel Stern is good.
That's true.
There you go.
Ellen Barkin's great.
All right.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Finally.
Yeah.
This is for all the smarties.
This is where we're going to find ourselves a winner between the three of you,
and someone's going to get all of the prizes.
I hope it's me.
You're not eligible to get the prizes,
but you can have any item from the prize bag that you want.
All right.
But you already got some M's.
I do.
You already got some peanut M's.
How are you doing over there, Graham?
Are you okay sitting next to peanut M's?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm doing all right.
Thank you for checking in.
What has to happen with one for you to have an allergic reaction?
I have to...
Touch it?
Eat it.
Eat it?
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, I had enough exposure when I was a kid
because they didn't have those rules when I was a kid,
so everybody just would put peanut butter on their finger
and chase me around the playground with it.
So I built up a little bit of an immunity.
Okay, so try one.
You probably are faster than you look.
I've got a tattoo that says the same.
Once you get going.
Once you get going.
Once you get to third gear.
So several of you reached out to me on Twitter saying that you have a great
suggestion for actor actress for us to use for this game so we'll see what the
first person says and maybe maybe we'll need to get a second one but where is a
person on Twitter called Mortimus hey Mortimus. You actually look like you could be a Mortimus.
That's pretty cool.
He's got sunglasses on his head
or a shiny head.
He's got a shiny head.
It's a shiny head.
You've got cotton candy on your face
or a beard.
It's a beaver.
He's wearing some sort of helmet.
So why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why,
why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, in the audience. It's not team attack Mortimus. Now you've got a hat with sunglasses on your head?
Boom.
Don't look around.
You're looking at the wrong guy now.
Why did you
put on and take off a hat?
Now are you concerned about what Mortimus is going to do
to the top of your head?
Don't look around. Now I'm talking to you.
Why Mortimus?
I made that up. You made it up. Sounded like an evil person to you
maybe? Every other name they pick so you went with Mortimus. Mordecai was taken.
Morty and Rick was taken. So you went with Mortimus. That's a fun made-up word
because you don't want to reveal anything about your actual identity. Morty and Rick was taken. So you went with Mortimus. That's a fun made-up word.
Because you don't want to reveal anything about your actual identity on Twitter?
Are you like, so you can troll?
No, no, no. My name's on there.
Oh, your name is on there.
Okay.
What's your name?
Justin Moss.
Justin, okay.
All right, Justin.
We've had a lot of suggestions over the years for this game.
People say they have the perfect one.
I say I'll believe it when I see it or hear it.
What do you suggest for us to play today?
Donald Sutherland.
Donald Sutherland, the great Donald Sutherland.
He's the voice in Orange Juice commercials.
I forget which brand.
That's his big thing now.
But he's been around for a long time.
Do the panelists look confused or scared or concerned?
I think they do.
So we'll get a second name.
I mean, if you don't mind.
Yeah.
Okay, Elliot Gould.
All right, so you don't mind. Yeah. Okay, Elliot Gould. All right, so...
Oh, boy!
Because those two guys,
they were huge movie stars in the 70s,
like top box office draws.
It's really...
It was an interesting time.
But where is Katrina Ninja?
Katrina Ninja.
Hi.
How's it going, Katrina Ninja?
That's a fun.
That's more fun than Mortimus.
Because you took your name, Katrina, right?
And then added ninja to it.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, good job.
The well-known Canadian Tree Ninja.
She lives in the arboreal canopy of British Columbia.
And, uh...
What do you think of the name Mortimus?
I think it's pretty good.
Yeah? Oh, we're making a match here.
You'll both be easy to find on Twitter, Mortimus and Katrina Ninja.
What do you think, Katrina Ninja?
What's your suggestion for a name?
Donald Sutherland isn't quite doing it.
We need somebody that's a little bit more popular and current.
Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey.
Oh, my goodness.
Donald Sutherland, we're not going to hear a peep about him.
Because that's a real serious...
Do people think they have to pick a Canadian actor
I think sometimes somebody wrote to me said I've got the perfect Canadian actor
and I said well that won't be fair to the American players but then again most
Canadian actors all their titles are the famous ones their titles are mostly
American movies but yeah anyway Jim Car Green. What's that?
So Jim Carrey's a terrific example of someone who got all of his fame after he left Canada.
And is in a ton of movies.
So I think we're going to be in good shape. William Shatner of the...
I don't know.
I had a joke.
It got stuck.
So Graham is going to go first. and then we'll go to Dave,
and then me and Ungario.
Take turns.
Okay.
You each have a lifeline.
Don't forget about your lifeline.
The films of Jim Carrey or another guy.
Donnie S.
Well, I'll go with the only Donald Sutherland movie that I know.
That's a great way to approach it.
Get that out of the way.
Yeah.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, he's like the guy that trains her or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
We can do both?
Yeah, that's the idea.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
If I wasn't clear, we got two names so that we can do both names.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I will do Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.
Wow.
Going all the way back to the beginning.
I like it.
I'm just gonna write PD for simplicity's sake.
Pet Detective PD.
Sounds like it's a whole department of pet detectives.
Okay, I'm going to go
to Donald Sutherland,
one of my faves
that he's in.
It's the motion picture
called National Lampoon's
Animal House.
That's all he's butting it.
If we're going to keep
it Sutherland-y,
how about MASH?
Yeah, MASH, of course.
He's the pros from Dover.
Oh, it's me again?
Yeah, I'll call on you when it's your turn.
Okay. Graham?
Yep, thank you.
The Mask.
Jim Carrey in The Mask.
Okay, yeah, not to be confused with Mask.
Smoky.
Very different movie. Very good.
That was a really good impression.
I can't repeat it.
Is that why people like the mask?
Because he was so easy to impersonate?
Somebody stop me.
Is that good?
Smoking.
It was if that wasn't supposed to be the mask.
That was from Mask.
Rocky Dennis.
Somebody stop my face.
Keeps growing.
That was the tagline from that movie.
Yeah, his face keeps growing.
And Cher has nowhere to hide.
Breaking Dawn, part two.
Sam Elliott is sexy and gravelly.
What do you got there for us there, Dave?
I have Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls.
Oh, aren't you a clever little one there?
Ace Ventura.
Yeah, and they didn't even bother with a number two in there.
Because the whole movie was.
Big number two.
A hee hee? When Nature Calls. there because the whole movie was big number two uh nature when nature calls that actually
had some funny parts okay so uh i'm going to go with
the hunger games
yeah i don't know the titles of the other ones, but I know that one.
Hunger Games Part None.
Sutherland's, he's got a lot of things.
Oh, yeah, he does.
The Italian Job.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.
He's Gwen Paltrow's dad.
Oh, my God.
My sunglasses fell.
Charlize Theron.
My sunglasses fell.
Is it Charlize Theron?
My sunglasses fell and one of the lenses popped out.
You going to be okay?
You need a hug?
No, I'll be all right.
I bet you it snaps right back in.
We'll find out later.
Next week.
Stay tuned.
I know how to build a cliffhanger.
Podcasts aren't exciting enough.
I know how to keep it going.
Okay, so when Guy said what, what did you say?
The Italian job.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, and then Graham?
The Truman Show.
Mm-hmm.
I'm trying to think if there's one that had both of them in it,
but I don't think there has been, but I could be wrong.
Dave?
Oh, Invasion of the Body Snatchers?
Oh, yeah. of the Body Snatchers? Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Body Snatchers, that's got Goldblum in it.
That's true.
Okay, I'm going to say The Majestic.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, because we're trying to save a theater.
The Majestic did not get saved.
But we're going to hashtag save the Rio.
Right.
Let's do it.
Should you save the Rio?
And I say, yes, man.
Yes, man.
Very good.
Ah.
man? Yes, man.
Very good.
Graham.
I'm so drunk.
I'm hella high, dog, so it's cool.
I just had a bunch of smarties.
That guy is like he's got to tell the truth about everything like a character
in a movie called Liar, Liar.
Liar, Liar.
I want to call him.
But you don't really need to keep talking.
We don't really need to hear every thought you have.
I want to call on my lifeline.
Oh, okay.
Who's your lifeline?
Maxine?
I want to say Maxine.
Maxine.
What do you got for me, doll?
Oh, great one. Eternal your lifeline? Maxine? I want to say Maxine. Maxine? What do you got for me, doll? Oh, great one.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
I think she said Eternal Sunshine.
Okay, you're out.
Mr. Popper's Penguins.
Oh, wow. The best. Mr. Popper's Penguins. Oh, wow.
The best.
Mr. Popper's Penguins.
Oh, nice.
Wow.
Mr. Penguin's Poppers.
Yeah.
Me, myself, and Irene.
Yes, of course.
We're really getting to it here.
Graham.
Goodbye, Donald Sutherland.
We're really getting to it here.
Graham.
Goodbye, Donald Sutherland.
Jim Carrey's first film, I believe,
is called Funny Face.
What?
Yeah.
It was re-released under the name Funny Face.
Look it up if you want to.
What do you think its actual title is?
It's like Introducing Janet or something like that,
but they retitled it when they re-released it,
and they called it Funny Face.
All right, well, the corrections department is closed until Monday, so...
I mean, because, you know,
there straight up is a movie called Funny Faces,
and the funny girl, it's funny girl.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's funny girl. Got it girl. Yeah. Yeah. The funny girl.
Got it.
Got it.
Audience doesn't need
to say titles ever.
I'm sorry I asked you earlier
for your favorite
Canadian movie.
I didn't mean to.
Okay, Dave.
The number 23.
Oh, yes.
Very good. His saxophone
movie. Yeah.
I was trying to give you
okay, drunk guy, seriously,
couple more and drunk guy
goes out.
I don't need to
hear from you constantly, but you
do need to hear this from me.
Because it's
funny that nobody's grabbed this one.
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.
Ah, of course!
Yes!
That's not how you want to play this game.
Because that will be your guess,
and you will be out. You can go to your lifeline,
or you can be more confident.
As soon as you say, was he in blah, blah, blah,
someone, especially the drunk guy, will confirm or deny
and then you're getting help from the audience.
Fair enough.
Right?
I accept the ruling.
Yeah.
I'll let it stand.
Thanks, Judge. Lemony, stick it a series of unfortunate events? Yeah, yeah. off right i accept the ruling yeah i'll let it stand um but i forgot judge lemony snicket a
series of unfortunate events yeah yeah a series of unfortunate events yeah yeah i mean it's it's
a possessive lemony snickets a series of unfortunate events that's what i said you
didn't hear my apostrophe that's what you said the mini snickets a series of unfortunate okay
graham you thought i was using the colon
you're good you're gonna be if you have enough m&ms A series of unfortunate events. Okay. Graham? You thought I was using the colon?
You're going to be if you have enough M&Ms.
It's all the fucking poutine, man.
Oh, my God.
I couldn't even right now.
I've been all clogged up lately.
I can't throw poutine into the mix.
Poutine throws off my routine.
Kick-Ass 2.
Oh, I like it.
Jim Carrey did not, though.
He went on a publicity thing. Yeah, that's right.
Right before it came out, he's like,
this movie's too violent.
I'm like, did you read the script, idiot? Yeah, you were in it. Did you see Kick-Ass 1 by any chance. Yeah, that's right. Right before it came out, he's like, this movie's too violent. I'm like, did you read the script, idiot?
Yeah, you were in it.
Did you see Kick-Ass 1
by any chance?
Yeah, yeah.
And he was the best part
of Kick-Ass 2.
Yeah, he was.
And the best part
of Burt Wonderstone.
Like, he's the best part
of things lately.
Yeah, that's kind of what
he does now.
Now he just shows up
in a movie.
He's not the lead,
but he's the best part.
Yeah.
Okay.
Dave?
Has anyone said
Man on the Moon?
No, they haven't. Oh. Yeah. All right Dave? Has anyone said Man on the Moon? No, they haven't.
Oh.
Yeah.
All right.
Believe it.
If you believe.
He was in the song first.
Man on the moon.
Man on the moon.
Yeah, keep going.
That helps.
Totally helps me.
If you believe.
Poutine wrestles with Doug Stuhl.
Oh.
Oh, if we're going early, Jim Carrey.
Earth Girls Are Easy.
Oh!
With one of the Wayans brothers, with Damon.
Wow.
Jeff Goldblum's in that too, right?
That's a whole lot of sexy.
Cat Baloo.
Donald Sutherland?
Yes.
Okay.
Nice.
You guys don't know.
I forgot.
Yeah.
All I know about that one
is Lee Marvin,
but I'll take it.
I could be wrong.
You could?
Nope.
I'm 100% right.
The correction department
is closed
Until fucking Monday
Oh my god they're going to be so busy tomorrow
They're going to be so mad
I don't even want to go to work
It's going to be working all crazy
Graham
Dumb and Dumber
What the fuck
Why did we skip that one for so long
Dave
The Hunger Games Catching Fire I don't know Why did we skip that one for so long? Dave?
The Hunger Games Catching Fire?
I don't know.
The Hunger Games Halt and Catch Fire?
All right, I'll accept it.
But I'll also run the table with you.
Oh, dang.
The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1.
The Hunger Games
Mockingjay Part 2?
Yeah, buddy. Get some.
Bruce
Almighty.
Whoa!
Dave.
I'm trying to think of women he dated.
Because he like,
he dated Lauren Holly after Dumb and Dumber.
He dated Renee Zellweger
after Me, Myself, and Irene.
Jenny McCarthy's been in some great movies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's the one about the vaccinations?
Yeah, vaccinations.
Vaccinations Don't Work, the movie starring Jenny McCarthy
and Jim Carrey with one foot out the door.
It's weird that it was built that way.
He was by her side on that whole thing.
He showed up on Larry King going,
yeah, we both believe vaccinations are bad.
And then he broke up with her
and never brought it up again.
The Hunger Games.
Wait, really?
I mean, I don't want to help you out too much,
but I believe we've covered all the Hunger Games movies.
Oh, did I say the Hunger Games?
I meant
boy,
what's the one where they were saxophones?
I don't have any more.
Thank you for playing. Thanks.
And thank you for your honesty.
Do you want to throw a consolation donut?
Yeah, I'll throw one.
Throw a donut.
Just, you know, even losers get to throw donuts.
Oh, a double.
Two stuck together.
A daily double.
Whoa.
You guys are really going for a height on these.
You know, we're trying to save the reel, not break the lights.
Okay, so
Dave is out, so it's back to me.
And I'm going to say, going back to early
Jim Carrey, Once
Bitten.
Oh, yeah.
Where he plays a guy that gets
bitten by a vampire and then joins the mob.
But that's another movie we talked about.
This is like a Frank D'Angelo movie.
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas?
Oh!
But people are groaning.
Is it the other guy?
What?
No.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas?
Shorten it. Shorten it.
Shorten it.
The Grinch.
No, no.
That's coming out soon.
Stole Christmas.
Oh, come on, you guys.
There is a new one called The Grinch coming out,
but the title of the movie's got the possessive at the beginning of...
Dr. Seuss's?
The Grinch?
Who stole Christmas?
Now I'm just going to be telling you the answer
so that's not fair.
Do you want to go to your lifeline? I was going to say, may I
have a lifeline, please? Allison?
Ordinary people.
Oh, nice!
Ordinary people, yes, for Donald Sutherland.
Well done.
Strength on the bench.
All right, Graham.
Old Jim Carrey movie, Peggy Sue Got Mary.
Yes, of course.
Peggy Sue Got Mary.
I'm going to go with Dr. Susan Saldagrinch's Soul Christmas.
Ngayo is on his own now.
On an island.
No more Allison.
Trilligan's Island.
Donald Sutherland.
Lots of movies we haven't done for him.
Jim Carrey.
Feels like we've hit on a lot of them.
Might be something still, though.
No, wait a minute.
Don't do that.
Don't do that. I thank you, but...
No, there's no reason to thank somebody for...
Well, they want to help.
Cheating.
People have a good heart.
I guess it's a good heart and a lack of understanding of what's happening.
Please continue to stall for time.
Jim Carrey and or Donald Sullivan were in the movie,
Henceforth, to be known.
Yeah, give it a title.
Title of that movie that's got the two of them in it. Under the working title of...
Mashed to the Reckoning.
No.
That's funny to me.
Five seconds.
Fuck.
Six seconds.
Yeah, I have a weird system.
Seven seconds.
Four.
Shit.
Five.
The suspense is killing me.
Ow.
It's tough to... A lot of pressure at this point.
It's hard to come up with something.
Oh, I just thought of one.
Yeah, but you love movies.
You said that one already.
I do love movies.
And I just really like them.
We played Jim Carrey before,
so I have a slight advantage there,
but I also can't win.
Jim Carrey was in...
I want to say he was
in Hollywood Shovel,
but I know that's not right,
so I'm not going to say that.
No.
But thank you for playing.
Yeah, I think I'm done, man.
I tried.
Thank you.
Graham's probably got one.
Graham's got one.
I've got one, but I'm not sure that I have the title correct.
Oh, shit.
You haven't gone to your lifeline yet, have you?
No, I haven't, actually.
I'll go.
I'll try.
Let's see what your lifeline has to say.
Yeah, let's see what the lifeline says.
Where is it?
JFK?
JFK.
That did help me to think of another one, I think.
But I don't think he's in JFK.
He is?
I mean, he might as well be.
And Graham's the winner anyway, so okay, we'll go JFK,
and then I'll say the cable guy.
Back to you, Graham.
Dumb and Dumberer 2?
No.
Wasn't that what it was called?
Close-ish.
Try again.
Close-ish.
I think you were very close.
Is it just Dumb and Dumberer?
So close.
Why would it be the same?
That would be funny if they just put it out a sequel and called it the exact same thing.
I think you said it.
Dumb and Dumberer.
Stop saying that.
That was the prequel.
Oh, is that the prequel?
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck, yes!
Doug loves movies! They made a prequel Doug loves movies
they made a prequel
even that shitty movie
it should have been called less dumb and less dumber
that's the best joke you'll get all night
folks
it's called you paid for this you're dumb and you're dumber
what do you think there dude
yeah I don't know what the name of that sequel I'm going to say dumb and dumber too What do you think there, dude?
Yeah, I don't know what the name of that sequel is. I'm going to say Dumb and Dumber 2.
Yeah, that's what it's called.
Yeah, Dumb and Dumber 2.
But it's spelled T-O-O.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the whole joke.
That's what he said.
Yeah.
You totally don't have to see that one.
That's the whole joke.
Donald Sutherland was in a motion picture called The Eagle Has Landed.
We're at the end of the road.
What's the one with the diamonds?
There was a diamonds one he was in.
Fun with Dick and Jane.
Is Jim Carrey.
Graham is our winner, everybody!
You want to throw a victory donut, Graham?
Yeah.
Yeah, there you go.
This one's got cream filling, so watch out.
Left side.
Oh, whoa.
That one.
No longer.
It's coming.
That was like a squib.
A lot of people got a piece of that one.
Did you guys bring your ponchos?
That just rained down on everybody.
Okay, so
who were you playing
for there, Graham? Was it
Brian? Oh yeah, Brian. Yeah, we went
to all that trouble of getting his name, and now
we know that Brian is our winner. Come get your prizes,
dude!
Give this back to him again.
Oh, okay.
He just cycles back forever and ever.
Here he comes.
Mr. Doug's prize winner.
You're going to need eggs to make those edibles.
Maybe some milk.
Is that what you said?
Milk and eggs?
Eggs and butter.
Butter, butter.
Yeah, definitely butter.
Allison, we don't have a shithead on the back of your name tag.
I want to give you one.
I want you to have the consolation prize.
So what are you thinking?
Just say it loud enough for just me to hear.
Mark Stans. What what are you thinking? Just say it loud enough for just me to hear. Mark stands.
What?
Mark stands?
Mark stands?
I was trying to save it for the end.
That's why I asked her
to say it just loud enough
for me to hear.
Okay.
I don't know who that is,
but does everybody hate him
or something?
No.
It's just...
He knows what he did.
It's just a personal grudge.
Those are the best.
I hope I say it right at the end.
Dave, Shumka, what do you got to plug here, dude?
Graham and I have a show called Stop Podcasting Yourself.
I also made a podcast for the last eight weeks
called This Sounds Serious, which is...
Thank you.
It's a fake true crime show that a lot of people write in and are like, they want to know what happened with this case, but it's really, it's fake.
And we tried to make it as obviously fake as possible, and people are getting fooled.
And I feel so bad every time I have to write back and be like, you know, you're not the only one who believed it.
But there's a reason you can't Google any of the characters in it.
Well, if you Google one of the characters, doesn't something come up about the podcast?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But there's no other like.
It's like a circle that people get caught up in.
Yes, I know about the podcast.
Yes, thank you, Google.
More about this.
I understand that Hearst was a real person, but
Citizen Kane, anyway.
So you have the same plug, right,
Graham? Yeah.
Stop podcasting yourself. Stop podcasting yourself
and if anybody out there
is listening that's in Winnipeg, I will be
there for the Winnipeg Fringe Festival
doing a show called Graham Clark's
Not Here. So will I
be there? Who knows? You'll have to
show up to find out.
I bet that's a hot
ticket.
It will be after that punk. I'm going, but
he might not be there.
Very metaphysical. You're like the Lauryn Hill of Canada.
Mark Stans?
Sands.
Sains?
Sands.
Mark's dad?
Sains?
What is it again?
San?
Sant?
Sant?
S-A-N-T-F?
D-F-C-T-Z?
Is this a name or an eye chart?
Accent or goo?
Mugayo, what do you have to plug?
I'm on Netflix right now as the cannabis expert
on a show called Cooking on High.
Yes!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'm doing that.
I'm going to be at the International Cannabis Business Conference
all over the world between now and 2019.
And I have a show at the Momo Lounge in Sacramento on July 8th.
And other events is warranted.
Follow me on the Instagrams and the Twitters, NGAIO420.
NGAIO.
NGAIO420.
Yeah.
419 other un gallos.
Love it.
And someone wrote on Twitter that you should get to try the food on the high cooking show.
Why don't they let you eat the food?
Well, I'm the weed expert.
I'm not the judge.
Right.
Right.
So if you look close, you can see me sneaking bites off of people's plates all the time.
Oh, okay.
Because I am going to eat the food.
But then also, man, we shoot a few of those in a day, right?
So I can't sit around.
You've got to pace yourself.
Man, if I tried to eat everybody's weed food for five episodes in a day, I would be useless by then.
And our next strain is the...
That would be it.
It would be quiet and telepathic.
No, I'm telling you with my mind what my question is.
I don't know why you don't know.
Hand me the remote.
All right.
Well, all of us have to,
when promoting this particular episode of the show,
use the hashtag Save the Rio.
Save the Rio!
Save the Rio.
And thank you, everybody, for coming,
and stick around for the Benson movie interruption of...
Oh, what's it called again?
Highlights for children.
Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn
Part 2
T-O-O
and
thank you again to all of my guests
Dave Shumka, Graham Clark, and
Nguyen B. Leung.
And as always...
Yeah, have a donut.
As always, that guy whose name I can't get right
is a shithead.
And anti-vaxxers are a shithead.
Now it's time we're done to watch another talkie. Anti-vaxxers are a shithead.