Doug Loves Movies - Dave Waite, Geoff Tate, Steve Agee and Sean Jordan guest
Episode Date: June 22, 2016Live from the UCB Franklin in L.A., Doug welcomes comics Dave Waite, Geoff Tate, Steve Agee and Sean Jordan to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privac...y Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, creamy babies, sticky seeds with empty acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
They're still not born, that we won't see, but Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Coming to you from the entertainment capital of the world,
Los Angeles, at the UCB Theater, Franklin Avenue location.
It's Tuesday, June 21st, 2016.
Minneapolis had some sweet name tags.
What have you got, LA?
Nice.
Nice job.
What is that, Abby what?
Abby versus Jason?
And your name is Abby?
The lady sitting next to the dude holding it.
And then...
Oh, he's Jason.
Oh, he's Jason.
Oh, it's the two of you against each other?
And you're like a couple?
Yeah.
Okay.
Who gets the prizes if you win?
You share them.
And she's also sharing the responsibility of just
holding up a bag of donuts next to
his name tag.
We got a Bill and
what is that one back there? Bill and
Ian? Billy and Ian?
And it's, oh, need
dates? Need wedding dates? That's pretty cool that Billy and Ian? And it's, oh, need dates? Need wedding dates?
That's pretty cool
that Billy and Ian are up in there with
Aubrey Plaza and Anna Kendrick.
That's a nice switch up.
I like it.
10 Cloverfield Liz, and you got a couple of
UFO lights on there.
I like that.
Hey, got some good ones, you guys.
Shanlet of the Apes?
Your name is Shan?
Shannon?
Shanley?
Is your name spelled like that?
With a Y instead of a T?
All right.
Oh, we got folks just coming in.
We got a couple of good seats.
Oh, look at that guy.
He brought his goddamn clay figures
of all of his favorite guests. I'm going to stomp on that guy. He brought his goddamn clay figures of all of his favorite guests.
I'm gonna
stomp on that thing.
Well, good job, everybody.
Doug Pluggs, Philadelphia.
Tomorrow
and Saturday shows at Helium.
It's a gas. They're sold out, but
some tickets remain for
Sunday. Salt Lake City next
Tuesday will sell out,
so get on it, Salt Lake citizens.
Stand up in Tampa, Syracuse, D.C., and more.
DouglasMovies.com.
That's DouglasMovies.com.
Let's look in the prize bag, you guys.
We got a Douglas Movies T-shirt
and a pipe from Peacemaker.
Ooh, the top fell off.
I hope it's in there.
Maybe not.
Some guy gave me this in
Minneapolis, I think.
It's a
belt buckle, like a real belt buckle.
It says
Doug Loves Movies on it.
I offered to give it to one of my guests backstage
and he did not want to have that
right above his dick.
Yeah, it was really...
It was really sad.
I felt very much dejected.
And...
What's this?
Oh, this is a post-it note.
Personal note.
Two VHSs from my personal collection.
This one, I have no idea what...
I just don't know what this is at all.
It's something called Searching for Boris Karloff.
I hope they found him.
And an episode of Dawson's Creek.
Season 2, episode 11,
sex she wrote.
So I guess at that point they'd already given up on titles that are movie titles.
I thought they did it through the whole run of the show,
but I guess it was just like the first season or something.
So all of that is going to be in someone's possession tonight,
along with all the great gifts brought by my four guests this evening.
Please give a big, warm welcome to Sean Jordan, Steve Agee, Dave Waite, and Jeff Tate. We're already laughing.
It's Steve Agee's gift.
But we'll get you in a second
and talk about your gift
that you give to the world
with your
style and
performance ability.
But let's meet everybody
individually, starting with first time
guest on the show. It's Dave Waite,
everybody. Give it up for him.
He put on his
best hat,
threw some glasses on, came down
to do a show. Yeah, dog.
Good to have you, man.
It's good to be here.
You living in the Culver City area?
I don't want to give away too much.
I don't want to blow up your spot.
Yeah, I live in the bro house with Shane Moss, a guest on your show.
Oh, yeah, he's been a frequent guest, sure.
Dr. Drugs.
You lived with him when he was walking around with two broken ankles or whatever?
I was his male nurse.
Oh, no.
Yeah, it was great.
Oh, okay. He had a big hole in his foot.
It was gross.
Did you have to put ointment on it or some shit?
He always wanted me to look at it, and then I would hide in my room.
What exactly did you do
to be a nurse? You just looked at it like, yep, still a hole.
I like fetching stuff
or something like that. there was like a real nurse
dave would try to put he would put coins in the hole so he could accurately gauge how big it was
right he'd be like oh it's still a quarter size they'd be like dude it's only a nickel they'd
high five you're down to a dime you can go outside next week that doesn't seem that seems a little
dangerous putting dirty coins on a wound.
No, he washed them first.
Dip them in now.
How else are you going to measure it, Doug?
I guess.
Yeah, that's right, dime dick AG.
Put some change on it, man.
The cold change feels good.
Let's go ahead and say hi to him right now.
You don't have to keep putting your microphone down.
It's not the Steve Agee mic drop show.
Gently mic step down show.
I don't want my gift to blow away.
Yeah.
That's Steve Agee, everybody.
Thank you.
Good to be back.
It's been a while.
Yeah.
Star of
things we can't talk about yet.
And also
you didn't add midnight
today.
I thought it was very lovely.
You were excited.
Midnight today.
Jack A in the crowd over there.
Oh, he's so good.
He's going to win at midnight.
How did you do?
Can you say?
I did okay.
I didn't do horribly, but I didn't do great.
Okay. Well, sometimes you can win but I didn't do great. Okay.
Well, sometimes you can win without doing great.
So tune in tonight.
Those of you that are here, those of you listening to this podcast tomorrow, too late.
Or you can watch it on demand, I'm sure.
And who else we got here?
We got Sean Jordan is back.
Let's hear it for Sean.
Yo. How's it going, buddy? Fantastic, man.
LA life treating you good?
Yeah, I think we're going on like 36 weeks now, something like that.
Counting, that's always a good sign.
I brought up the days the last time I was on.
The last time I was on, I'd been here 11 days, so I'm
just trying to keep fucking, you know, keep it going.
I love it. Every time you're on, I'd been here 11 days, so I'm just trying to keep fucking, you know, keep it going. I love it.
Every time you're on, please tell me how many days
that you've been
in Los Angeles.
It's always good
to have you, man.
Did you three guys call each other
like, let's go back hat, front hat,
back hat.
Let's coordinate
this shit so we look like a boy band.
We look like a boy band.
That's a fucking boy band
right there.
Right?
That's a boy band.
A bearded boy band.
Three managers
of shitty boy bands
is what we look like.
Yeah.
Steve,
didn't you have
like a letterman beard
recently?
What's a letterman beard?
You grown out your beard
You mean did I letter in
facial hair?
Did you grow it out like a super bushy?
Yeah.
But now you're all, compared to these guys, you're clean shaven.
Yeah, it was longer than Jeff's beard.
What? No beards haven't been longer than my beard.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, we've got the world's longest beard here.
It's Jeff Tate, everybody.
Woo!
Hello.
I'm so excited about all the stuff you guys brought
for the prize bag, so I just want to dump right into it.
Let's dump right on it.
I brought a bucket, so you can dump right into that.
Yeah, and let's start with Jeff, though,
because he's modeling his gifts.
He brought an extra hat that says, make Jeff Tate again.
It's my favorite hat.
In this election cycle, this is a promise I hope we all are willing to make to ourselves and our country.
Make Jeff Tate again.
And here's my new
album. And your new album. It's called
Again. Again. It's kind of where I got
the idea for the hat.
Jeff Tate Again is the name
of the record. Yeah, great ideas come in twos.
And
especially when you're taking a shit.
And thank you
for bringing those, Jeff.
You're welcome.
What do you have?
What do you have for the prize bank, Sean?
I have Empire Records and Kick-Ass.
I went and bought some movies today.
They're fucking awesome.
People can have like a Sean Jordan recommends film festival with those two?
Yeah, sure.
Go for it.
I tried to make it skateboarding related, but it's just hard to do because it's National
Go Skateboard Day. So I have a little skateboard
that I brought too. Today's
Skateboard Day for reals? Yeah. June
25th. Fucking, yep. Name tags. I thought it was
selfie day. It's selfie day
also. Is it selfie day? They fall
on the same day? I think so.
Once every 76 years.
During the blood moon.
I'm one for three
on jokes so far.
Wait, that last one
was the one?
Yep.
What, Sean?
Bunch of Spitfire stickers,
some popcorn,
oh, and some fireworks.
I found some fireworks
at Target today. Little pop things. I know it's not called Stargloves stickers, some popcorn, oh, and some fireworks. I found some fireworks at Target today, little pop things.
I know it's not close to a glow fireworks,
but as close as Los Angeles lets you get.
What's that thing that's sticking up out of the bucket?
It's a big Charleston chew.
Oh, okay.
You should try it frozen.
And then there's some salad pad kids.
You also get a bucket.
And you get a bucket to carry all this shit in.
That is a buck bucket, my friend.
And it's from pets.
If you freeze that Charleston chew, you could put all your loose teeth in that bucket. And you get a bucket to carry all this shit in. That is a buck bucket, my friend. And it's from pets. If you freeze that
Charleston chew, you could put
all your loose teeth in that bucket.
Two for four.
Shoot that bucket down here, my friend.
Like we're in a bar.
Old time west. That was close enough.
That was whack.
What is it?
Why did you get this bucket? I don't know. It just looked kind of cool. It was a dollar. That was whack. What is it? Why did you get this bucket?
I don't know.
It just looked kind of cool.
It was a dollar.
Oh, you bought it?
Yeah.
Okay.
It's a trash can, I think.
I like this bucket.
It might be a trash can.
I like all these doggies.
All right.
Dave, wait.
What do you got for the bag, my friend?
All right, man.
I got my CD, Kaboom.
All right.
They seem real excited because they don't know who I am.
That's tight.
And then Hot Doggin', that's my other CD.
That's the popular one.
That's the one they know.
People love to go hot dogging.
What's hot dogging?
It's like if you're showboating,
you know what I mean?
You know, like if you're dream catching.
And then...
See that dickhead hot dogging over there?
What a showboater.
And then I got a John Waters book.
There's a lot of stories about poppers,
but I think it's a different kind.
It's called Carsick.
Yeah, yeah.
By John Waters.
Do you even have like a,
is there like a bookmark in there?
Are you recommending that page?
No, I just plug in my own bullshit in there.
I put my own business card in there.
Is that against the rules?
No, I think the winner of the prize bank should be able to contact you.
Say something like, thanks for being shitty at the games,
or thanks for winning for me, or whatever it is.
Yeah, that's terrific.
Nice little stack of prizes.
And Steve Agee.
Well, Doug, we saved this for last.
It might be the, between that and the Charleston Chew, it might be the tastiest.
As you know, when you do at midnight, they leave you a box of cookies in your dressing room.
Yeah.
And so this is my box of cookies.
Yeah.
They're good.
They're like artisanal cookies
and shit.
Somebody's going to
take those cookies home
and have to deal with them.
They're good.
What happened to
don't they still
give a water bottle?
They do,
but I kept that.
You hung on to that?
It's a pretty nice
water bottle.
They are pretty good.
It's pretty sweet.
Those cookies are good
too, though, man.
Okay.
That's cool.
Sean, have you been to the movies lately?
What was the last movie you saw?
I went to Civil War yesterday.
I finally saw it
because it was like 108 degrees in Glendale
and my air conditioning was out, so...
Yeah.
Yeah, so you're like...
You're like, what's the longest running time?
Oh, three hours with trailers?
Sounds good.
For real.
Threw on my mesh shorts and just sat there like a pervert,
watching it by myself.
That was just my thought process.
I was like, just get as cold as you can
before you have to go back to that fucking hole
that you're sleeping in.
It was so hot in my room.
Anyway, the movie was super good, though.
Were you uncomfortably cool by the end of the movie?
Yeah, kind of.
But then I got outside and it almost made me sick.
So it was like a bad idea to do it.
Like drastic temperature changes and I got a stomach ache.
I was freezing by the time I got out.
I was freezing and then I walked out and it was like 106 still.
That movie hurt my belly.
It was a dope movie, though.
But you liked it, though. It's good, right?
Yeah, it's super good. I enjoyed it.
Yeah, I like it. I like it very much.
I look forward to watching it repeatedly on airplanes.
Dave, what was the last movie you saw?
Central Intelligence.
No way.
Yeah, dog.
Were you trying to get out of the heat as well?
The Rock.
Did you like The Big Johnson or The Little Heart more?
I saw it, too. It's great.
Do you see...
I'm not even going to ask you. I hear good stuff. Dave, do you see it's really funny I'm not even gonna ask you
I think it's good stuff
Dave
do you see every movie
The Rock is in
no I didn't see that
Hercules movie
but I don't see any
Egypt movie
did you see Stitch
you don't see
Egypt movies
yeah
it's a pretty good
category
that's a category
I could walk away from
yeah I don't really see any of those Egypt movies the mummy It's a pretty good category. That's a category I could walk away from.
I don't really see any of those Egypt movies.
The mummy?
No, mummy doesn't count.
Mummy's more fun than an Egypt movie.
We're talking like there was that Christian Bale Egypt movie nobody cared about.
There was something this year, like Gods and something.
Oh, the one with Jamie Lannister in it.
Would that be an Egypt movie?
Like a futuristic Egypt movie?
Yeah, maybe. You don't want to talk about it?
Kind of.
Syriana?
No.
No, no.
Swords and sandal movies.
Yeah.
Right?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Especially when they emphasize
the sandals over the swords.
I'm out.
But you both, you enjoyed it too?
The Central Intelligence?
Oh yeah, there was some solid lines,
some rocks and a fanny pack.
You sold me.
Rock wears a fanny pack?
Fuck yeah.
And Kevin Hart gives him a hard time about it?
Absolutely.
He's like, quit hitting me in the face with that fanny pack!
Because he's a lot shorter, get it?
Yeah, it's so funny.
You really liked it a lot?
Yeah.
Jeff Tate digs Central Intelligence?
It's really funny.
It's fucking great.
You think it's funnier than Finding Dory?
Yeah, I'm sure of it.
Finding Dory made $100 million more in the first weekend.
So that just proves the kids don't know comedy.
Kids don't know shit
Alright
The one I was going to say was
Standoff
We also watch a movie called Standoff
Like on VOD or something?
It's on Netflix and it stars Thomas Jane
And Lawrence Fishburne
And it's
It's a standoff
It's really good too.
It's accurately named.
They don't play ice hockey or anything?
I was literally going to describe a standoff
forgetting what the word meant.
Even though I just said
standoff's a title.
So what they were was
tracked. It's weird to hear
a standoff
without Mexican before it.
Yeah.
Those guys are both clearly not Mexican
so that title wouldn't have made any sense.
Are they the only people in the movie
or is that a spoiler to tell us that?
They are not the only people in the movie.
I guess it's not a spoiler then.
And you recommend it though?
Yeah.
I don't have much faith
in it with those
actors
yeah
I don't have anything
against them
Sean not watching it
it's not a big deal
apparently he only goes
to the movies
when literally
he's in the worst
possible physical shape
110 degrees
no air conditioning
it's hard to get
Sean to the movies
if they played him
Burbank on a super hot day
I might go see it
act of God
if my air conditioning's busted you hit him in the shins with a pipe if you want him to go to the movies. If they play it in Burbank on a super hot day, I might go see it. Act of God.
Hit him in the shins with a pipe
if you want him
to go to the movies.
Steve,
what was the last movie
you saw?
I saw The Lobster.
People,
some people
love The Lobster.
Others,
not so much.
What did you think?
I loved parts of it parts of it I just
didn't go for
it's more good in the beginning than the latter half
it's a little longer than it needs to be
and
I don't like the style of everyone's dialogue
well okay
that's another thing but for me every scene had that same violin music in it
that was always acting like something was about to jump out.
Yeah.
And, you know, what's his name?
Colin Farrell gives the most.
He barely moves.
His face, his body.
He doesn't do anything.
It's like a sketch where everyone's
doing purposely doing
bad acting where they're like
yes I will go with you to the beach tomorrow
they're all talking like
I hear it's going to be beautiful
no contractions
on the beach
see you there
so you should all go see it we're really selling it
but people cheer for it
when we mention it.
John C. Reilly is really funny.
John C. Reilly is amazing.
He's a great actor, but it's like,
how many times is he going to have weird little supporting roles like that?
Like, what's he doing?
He just finished King Kong.
And he's not playing King Kong, by the way.
There's another King Kong movie?
Oh, yeah, Skull Island.
But is King Kong a motion capture. Oh yeah. Kong Island. Skull Island. But is King Kong
a motion capture dude?
Like is it
something that
Andy Serkis
get replaced by somebody?
I don't know.
I think The Rock
should have done it.
Yes.
I think that would
have been pretty cool
because he's already
like bigger than
most people.
Yeah.
Or you could have
done it.
You're a big guy.
I would have.
Yeah.
Did you audition
to be King Kong ever?
No.
I should fire my agents.
All right, you guys.
I did see The Lobster, so I guess that would count as one of the...
Oh, I saw...
On VOD, I saw Mr. Right, the Sam Rockwell dancing hitman movie with Anna Kendrick.
And it is the cutest, most violent thing.
Really?
Yeah.
It's really adorable, but super violent.
Oh, and I watched Midnight Special.
And strange that it went to...
That's the last one I watched.
Oh, okay.
That's a good movie, right?
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Strange, though, that Mr. Right just didn't play in theaters at all.
Just went straight to the Bill VOD thing.
I loved it.
They're both very appealing actors and there's a
good supporting cast. I love when movies go
right to VOD though. I hate
leaving my house. Right.
I love when I turn on Apple TV and I'm like
oh fuck that's in a theater right now
as well. I can watch it here.
Someone's not going to have their
phone on in front of me annoying the shit
out of me. That's how my mom reacts
This is in the theater and on my computer
I'll watch it on the computer
My mom's hilarious
Well I saw your pal
Ellen Page's movie also
I saw that last night
Into the Forest
I'm going to see it tomorrow
There you go
Do something like wear the pens or something Am I going to see it tomorrow. There you go, dude. Do something, like wear the pins or something.
Am I going to shit my pants?
I think so.
Oh, my God.
I think so, yeah.
And don't take Sean with you.
I'm not going to wear the pins, and I'm just going to shit my pants.
You're going to see it in a theater?
Mm-hmm.
Because that's what I was just going to recommend,
is it's one of those movies that will be in some theaters
and probably VOD at the same time or shortly thereafter. and I say watch it in a theater if you can yes I
am too much it's super intense did she tell you anything about it no I'm going
to they're having the premiere tomorrow that's what are you going to okay how
did you see it already you know I'm a man of influence so I get these
invitations to go see.
I saw it last night in a screening room over at Raleigh Studios.
Parts of it made me very unhappy, but ultimately I'm glad I watched it.
In a good way?
I guess in a good way.
You know how when fucked up shit happens in a movie and you're just sort of like,
do I need this in my life?
But also, this is exciting.
There's some of that shit in the lobster.
There's some really fucked up shit that happens.
Really fucked up, yeah.
And I'm just like, I don't know if I need that.
I don't know if I need to think about that.
But since we got four great game players,
I'm just assuming, Dave, that you're going to be great at the games.
Long time listener.
I'm ready to crush it.
He's ready to crush it.
I'd like to beta test a He's ready to crush it. I'd like
to beta test a new game real quick if we
could. If everybody's
alright with it.
I like to run everything by you guys.
This was suggested by
SGAK on Twitter, which is
like, how do you get just a four letter name on Twitter?
This guy must have jumped in day one
or just no one wants to call themselves
Sgak.
But he's also aka Stellan from Sweden so thanks for
listening all the way from Sweden
and I think they get it
a few days later than everyone else
that's not true
they gotta fly it over there
so it takes a while
he didn't give it a name so I'm gonna call it
one more word
and the idea is that a category of film is picked like a type of movies and uh the first guest has
to name a movie of that type that just has one word in the title we'll start with you sean so
you have to name a movie that has one word in the title that fits the category. Then Dave has to say a movie that has two words in the title.
And the counts as a word, of course.
In that same category.
In that same category.
Same category, Steve.
Just clearing it up, Doug.
No category changes.
This is beta.
And we'll see how, pardon the expression, how high we can get.
And I'll play along, too.
Some of us are already...
Some are higher than others,
but, you know, it's an achievable goal.
And so...
I don't know how...
I think this game can be very difficult anyway,
so I thought the category should be very broad.
And, you know, certainly up for interpretation.
So it's action movies. Action movies. So Sean Jordan starts off, thought the category should be very broad and certainly up for interpretation.
So it's action movies. Action movies.
So Sean Jordan starts off and name
an action movie that's only one word in the
title. Rambo. That is
a perfect example.
I wish
Rambo.
That is.
That's yeah.
The category I think should just be
movies. The genre should just be movies.
Whoa.
The genre should just be movies.
Holy shit.
Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of...
I'm already nervous.
Other than the lobster, most movies have action in them.
Yeah.
But, Dave, what do you got?
Bad Boys.
Bad Boys.
I like it.
They're making Bad Boys 3, by the way,
so that's something to look forward to.
Is Michael Bay doing it?
I think so.
He better be.
Oh.
You'd be upset if somebody else did it?
I'll break my air conditioning.
You'd be upset if they got somebody else
to yell at actors for three months?
Jeff, you got a three-word action movie title?
I thought of a good one.
Cool. Lots of people here I thought of a good one. Cool.
Lots of people here have thought of a good one.
Does Bad Boys 2 count?
It's, you know, we could sit around and debate it,
but I'll take it, because it's Bad Boys I.I.
in the title, I think.
So I don't know if I.I. is a word,
but it does represent a word, which is the word two.
Yes.
So we debated it for a while.
We debated it.
I debated it all by myself,
as I often do.
Steve-a-G.
Action movie with four words in the title.
Can we take out little words like the?
You're trying to take out words?
Oh, no, I got one.
You got a good one.
You got one.
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's an action movie with four words in the title?
Yeah.
Yeah, very good.
Thanks.
Okay, now I got to think of one with five words in the title.
Is duffel bag one word?
I don't think so.
Is that an action movie?
That's a movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I don't know
if it's an action movie.
That's a good point.
If you can describe
the action, then,
you know,
people be fucking,
that's an action. Oh, well, no. Yeah. I don't think you understand describe the action, then, you know, people be fucking, that's an action.
Oh, well, no, yeah.
I don't think you understand what the word action movie means.
Shit.
See, I thought this game would be hard, and it's already biting me in the ass that I can't think of one that has five words in its title.
Shit, I can think of ones that have six.
I can think of Meet me in st. Louis
holy shit I'm out do Do you have one, Sean?
I have a six letter.
Right? That's what I was obsessed on.
You don't have a five word one?
Well, I tried to premeditate it a little bit.
Just give me a second.
No, that's the thing. You've got to be ready for someone to bail.
Dave, you might need to do a five word one yourself.
I've got a seven.
You didn't even count right.
It was never
going to be seven to you.
No, he has a seven.
Yeah.
Let me see if this works.
You got a seven inch neck. Is that what you're talking about?
Let me see.
A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Does that work?
Is that the title?
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Yeah, that works. Fuck, man. gentlemen. Does that work? Is that the title? The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
Yeah, that works.
Fuck, man.
For an action movie, it was pretty inert,
but I'll give it to you.
Well, I never saw it. I assumed it was action-packed. You did the right thing.
Alright, you got a sixer there,
Dave?
I got a sixer, Doug. You got a sixer?
I got a sixer. Fuck! I got a sixer.
Shit.
But I shouldn't be bragging when I fucked up already
with the game that I thought of
that I already knew what the category was going to be.
No, I don't want to count wrong, so Jeff.
You can count wrong.
No penalty.
Take a stab at it.
This is the only time this game's ever going to be played.
To a six-word title?
Yeah.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Yeah.
Ah, shit.
And that probably helped Steve out.
What do you got, Steve?
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Oh, yes.
So we need an eight from Oh shit
Sean are you out?
You came up with a sixer?
I came up with a sixer
Okay so give us an eighter
Well this doesn't have any action
But it's an eight word movie
To Wong Fu, thanks for everything
Julie Newmar
You know what? I think at one point they jump in a car and speed off movie. To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar.
You know what?
I think at one point they like jump in a car and speed off. I think they drive
fast at one point.
I'm going to give it to you.
Yeah.
I don't care if only half of you think that's alright.
I'm fine with it. Jeff, you got
a niner?
A nine word title. Yeah.
Fuck, I just had one too.
Really?
Wait, I forgot
if I put my thumb down
or not.
I do have a niner.
Okay, give it to us.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's like they planned those movies
to have one more word in each title.
Not really.
Yeah, no.
It's not in the right order.
Steve, do you got another one?
So we're at ten now?
Huh?
Yeah.
We're at nine or ten.
He's nine, so yeah, we need a tenner.
James Bond and the Casino
Royale
to die
another day.
That's ten.
I don't have a ten.
Yeah, you do not have a ten.
Sean, do you have a ten?
Is there a the at the beginning of Florida?
The Lord of the Rings?
No?
One of the Lord of the Rings movies might have Wait, one of the Lord of the Rings movies
might have a long enough title,
or one of the Hobbit movies.
No.
Probably just Lord of the Rings.
The Lord of the Rings,
The Fellowship of the Ring?
I think so.
I think that's accurate.
That's right.
That checks.
Good job.
I don't know if there's a The at the beginning of it, though.
I think it's The Lord of the Rings.
No, The. You could it's the Lord of the Rings. No, the...
Oh.
You could have just let me be...
Yeah, you could have let him have his moment.
...and let the game keep going, but you had to crush my...
That is weird, though, that there isn't the Fellowship of the Rings.
Yeah, it's just Lord of the Rings.
That's a bit redundant.
God damn it.
Do you have a...
How many was that supposed to be?
11?
That was supposed to be 10.
10, okay.
So, Jeff, 10.
That's Jeff Tate, actually.
Jeff's already won, though.
He's the last person.
He can still show off.
He can still show off.
I feel bad for the kid in the marquee with these big...
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, there's some big-ass titles.
I like this game.
I don't think it's...
I think you should...
I don't know.
It certainly comes to a quick conclusion
because in the history of movie titles,
there's probably only a few that have as much as 13 or 14 words in the title.
Oh, Dad, Poor Dad, Mama Hung You in the Closet, I'm Feeling So Sad
is a super-ass long one.
That would be if we were doing comedies,
you could say that.
Who is...
I don't think I have one.
Who is Harry Kellerman and why is he saying
all these terrible things about me
is another really long one.
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad.
There's only four mads.
There's only four mads.
Settle down.
But it is an action movie.
The ultimate action movie.
All right, Jeff Tate is our winner.
I'm sure we'll get lots of feedback from folks over the internet about whether or not to try that one again.
But I thought it was pretty fun, at least for this one time.
And now is the part of the show
where I say, let the real
games begin!
Yes!
Gentlemen!
We got a lot of good name tags
for you to choose from tonight.
The LA crowd got it together
and made a bunch of tags.
So while you guys go figure out who you're
going to play for, we're going to take a brief commercial break.
We'll be right back.
Today's episode is brought to you in part by Spotify's new Discover Weekly feature.
Discover Weekly allows you to lose yourself every week
in the thrill of new music discovery.
Your Discovery Weekly playlist is 30 songs you didn't know you loved yet.
You get a brand new unique playlist every Monday like a weekly birthday present just for you.
The playlist is personalized based on your music taste.
The people who know about and use Discover Weekly love it.
Dive in and join them.
Don't forget to save your favorite tracks on Sundays before your playlist refreshes.
Go to Spotify.com slash Discover Weekly now to get your playlist.
We're back.
Sean, who are you playing for?
Hold that up for me so I get a good picture of that.
There you go.
Oh, that's very good.
Who is that?
What does it say who you're playing for?
No Country for Old Bren.
So Bren is short for Brenda?
Brendan.
Brendan.
Sorry, lady.
Don't you listen to him, Brendan.
Don't you listen to him.
You rise above it.
Excellent choice.
And I'm supposed to read the back, right? Yeah, read it right out
loud. Totally kidding. Totes kidding.
Oh, you've got the largest laminated thing
I've ever seen, Dave. And tell us
about your name tag.
I think it's from the movie Trimmers, right? Uh-huh. You've got the largest laminated thing I've ever seen, Dave. And tell us about your name tag.
I think it's from the movie Tremors, right?
Uh-huh.
But instead it's Trevors.
Point in my direction here.
Oh, look at that.
Don't block your face, though.
You're going to get used to screen time.
Trevors.
Good job, Trevor.
Jeff?
I play for Abby.
Abby versus Jason. Hold up the donuts, too, so we get the whole Abby. Abby versus Jason.
Hold up the donuts too so we get the whole visual.
Oh fuck, donuts?
Yeah, I got donuts with his.
He's already eaten one today.
The donuts really drew the eye.
Alright.
Who are you playing for, Steve?
Oh, this is weird.
Prozac Nathan.
Prozac Nathan.
And he really put his face on there quite nicely.
Show it.
Let me see it.
Goddamn, that's fantastic.
It's a clipboard because it takes place in a medical situation, right?
It's like a rehab or something.
Yeah.
And he's got these big crosses on there,
a green one and a red one.
This was some work.
Yeah.
Excellent work and excellent choice, Steve.
Thanks, Doug.
I hope you win.
I do, too.
I don't usually like to pick sides,
but Steve's my choice tonight, guys.
Oh, boy.
Mostly because he got left out
and didn't get the hat call.
Steve, you want to wear my hat for a while?
It won't fit.
I have a fat head. Yeah, me and Steve,
we stretch people's hats out, so we
have to say no. It's a snapback, Doug.
What? Yeah, that doesn't work.
Alright. I need the flex
fit.
You've got yours all the way on.
Like, you've got every single, that's how small your head is.
It's as tight as you can get.
You've got a tiny head, though.
Yeah.
I'm stupid.
I wish I had a bigger head.
All right. So let's start with Purple Rain Man,
and that's the movie mashup title game.
I'm going to tell you the third billed people
in a movie title that's mashed up,
like Purple Rain Man.
It's two titles that go well together,
but I'll tell you the third build people in both movies, in the
correct order of how the title will work out.
And then if nobody gets
it from Matt, I'll go second build, first build.
Do we say our name to chime in?
No, you can just say guesses.
Because I don't think
there's going to be a ton of guesses, because it's either
going to be obvious. You should move that paper.
Or it isn't. Hold your paper different.
It's very tempting. You're looking right at it.
You fucking cheater.
No, cheater, I'm telling you.
Giant cheater.
All right, here we go.
You giant cheater.
What mashup movie title stars Brenda Vaccaro
and Frances McDormand?
I'll move on quickly to the next pair of actors.
This mashup movie also stars
James Brolin and Tobey Maguire.
Nope.
No.
Right?
This is a seriously difficult one.
I might have to give you more actors after this next round.
The lead actors in this movie mashup are Elliot Gould and Michael Douglas.
All right, you guys, here comes the bonus clue.
Is it the answer?
huh?
nothing what?
the bonus clue
is that the fifth
billed people
in these two movies
that I've matched up
and someone on Twitter
suggested this
OJ Simpson
and Katie Holmes
I know right? oh I know it O.J. Simpson and Katie Holmes.
I know, right?
Oh, I know it.
It's Omega Wonder Boys.
Is that right?
Omega One?
Yeah, not Omega One.
Capricorn Wonder Boys.
Capricorn Wonder... Some kind of...
No, you're right.
He's right on that one.
Just say it right, Jeff. He's right on that one. I just figured it out.
Just say it right, Jeff.
You're right the second one.
Yeah, Capricorn Wonder Boys.
Correct!
Wow, that's good.
That's a tough one, right?
That was so hard.
Or like they'd call it in that thing you do,
Capricorn Oneida Boys.
Oneider.
All right, you guys. That was cool.
Jeff gets to go first in Ron Bennington's
Mojo Rising or Adjusted for Inflation
Bureau. This is a movie
where I name an
actor or actress, and then Jeff
gets to go first, and he gets first
stab at it.
Name a movie that came in that
actor or actress's top three of their movies of all time,
adjusted for inflation according to Box Office Mojo.
And you get three points for number one, two points for two, and one point for three.
And then we'll play three rounds, four rounds, and then we'll see who's got the most points.
four rounds and then we'll see who's got the most points.
So we start with Michael Douglas.
And Jeff, you just have to tell me what movie starring Michael Douglas
made it into his top three.
Ant-Man.
Okay.
We go to Steve Agee.
Name a Michael Douglas movie other than Ant-Man.
Wall Street.
Okay.
Sean Jordan.
Captain America Civil War.
He was in that, wasn't he?
What?
You just saw that yesterday.
No, I just watched it yesterday.
I don't know any other Michael Douglas movies
I'm talking about.
Disclosure.
Right, he's in Disclosure, right?
I know he is.
Okay.
That's a better answer.
Dave?
The Game.
The Game.
You think that's in his top three of all time?
Fuck, I don't know.
That's well and good.
All right, so this is a great first round.
None of you got a top three movie.
Can I guess one?
You can guess one more if you want.
Romancing the Stone.
That came in at number three.
Basic Instinct.
Number two is Basic Instinct.
You guys should have followed your Basic Instincts.
Because I know between you, you have a fatal attraction.
Shit. That came in at number one. Because I know between you, you have a fatal attraction. Oh, yeah.
Shit.
That came in at number one.
Ant-Man didn't make the top because of the adjusted for inflation part.
Because, you know, fatal attraction was huge for its time.
But the tickets were cheaper.
All right.
So nobody's on the board after that one.
That was exciting.
I like that.
So this next round, we'll start with Steve,
and then we'll go to Sean.
And Steve, you get to go first.
That's why I'm starting with you.
And the actor is Tobey Maguire.
Good old Tobes Maguire.
I'll say Spider-Man 2.
Okay.
Sean?
Well, I'm going to say Spider-Man. Okay. Spider-Man 3. Okay. Sean? Well, I'm going to say Spider-Man.
Okay.
Spider-Man 3.
All right.
Jeff?
Tobey Maguire.
I'm going to have to say Wonder Boys.
Because that's the only other one you can think of?
That is the only other one I can think of
Because he's not the kid that's in Lord of the Rings, is he?
Tobey Maguire is not Elijah Wood
I can confirm that
Yeah, Wonder Boys
Alright, so who said Spider-Man 3?
Dave That was the third highest grossing movie of Tobey Maguire's career Adjusted for inflation All right, so who said Spider-Man 3? Dave.
That was the third highest grossing movie of Tobey Maguire's career, adjusted for inflation, so Dave gets one point.
Who said Spider-Man 2?
Me.
Eiji, that was number two after adjusting for inflation, so you get two points.
And Sean Jordan said Spider-Man, which is number one.
Really? Wow.
Yeah, they each made less after adjusting, but I bet you they made more without the adjustment. Jordan said Spider-Man, which is number one. Really? Wow.
They each made less after adjusting,
but I bet you they made more without the adjustment.
Spider-Man, that first one,
was just a huge, huge hit.
Yeah, that was big. Thanks, Sean.
This made a lot of money.
It got hot enough one day that summer For Sean to go see it
Air conditioning was out
I was bored
Mesh shorts were on
Underwear was off
Well I don't know what's happening
Sean
You get to go first this next round
And the actor or actress
I've chosen
Frances McDormand
I don't know
I'm going to go out on a limb here
and guess that none of you will get
anything from her top three
and it's not an insult to you guys
it's just a shocking
top three.
I don't know.
I'll give you one more clue.
It's titles that are hard to get right.
So we love exact titles here, Sean.
I don't know.
Burn After Reading.
Is she in that?
Does that sound like a title?
No, it doesn't, Doug.
It doesn't sound like a hard one to get.
But she is in that.
You're right.
But that's my answer.
She's in that. it doesn't, Doug. It doesn't sound like a hard one to get. But she is in that. You're right. But that's my answer. She's in that.
Dave?
Fuck, man.
You're trying to help us out, but all I can think of is Fargo, you know?
I know.
That's probably too good of a clue in terms of somebody should get Fargo just to do it.
So you want to go with Fargo?
Yeah, I'm going to go with Fargo.
Okay, it's not in the top three.
What a fun game.
Yeah. No, you know, it's fun to find out three. What a fun game. Yeah.
No, you know,
it's fun to find out
you're a loser quickly.
Why try to build up
any suspense?
Almost Famous.
Okay.
Yeah, she's in that,
of course.
Yep, not in the top three.
He took mine.
Is that the one
you wanted, Steve?
Yeah, that was the one
I wanted.
I can't even think
of another movie
that she did.
She's a very good
character actress, but, you know, maybe if you thought of another movie that she did. She's a very good character actress,
but maybe if you thought of other Coen Brothers movies,
she's worked with them a few times
because she's married to one of them.
Right?
Like she was in Raising Arizona and Blood, Sip, Bull.
She was?
Uh-huh.
She's the one talking about getting her baby the shots.
We need to get the shots for the baby.
We need the step-tap and the flap-flap and the bit-bap
I'll say
Racing airs though
This is fucked up man
Number three is something's gotta give
With Jack Nicholson
Number two
Madagascar 3
Europe most wanted Would you have settled Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. Number two, Madagascar 3, Europe Most Wanted.
Would you have settled for Madagascar 3?
I probably would not have.
And the number one movie starring Francis McDormand
is Transformers, Dark of the Moon.
Yeah.
Is that even the right title? Dark of the Moon? Dark Side of the Moon. Is that even the right title?
Dark of the Moon? Dark Side of the Moon?
Dark Side of the Moon
is an album.
It's also a place on the moon.
Dark of the Moon.
It's also an area.
There's the Upper West Side
and then there's the Dark Side.
Yeah.
All right, let's do one more, you guys.
And maybe some of you see where this is going with who the next one's going to be.
But Dave gets to start us off.
Tell us the top movie featuring Katie Holmes.
Star of Dawson's Creek, which is in the prize bag.
Batman Begins.
That's a good one.
Jeff.
God damn it.
Nope.
Good old Katie Holmes.
Mad Money. Mad Money.
Mad Money, okay.
That's the only one I can think of.
Did they do a Dawson's Creek movie?
No.
Okay.
It's called Up the Creek.
I can't even.
I'll say Go.
I love that movie. Yeah, it's great. It's the only one I can't even. I'll say Go. I love that movie.
Yeah, it's great.
It's the only one I can think of.
Sean?
The Gift.
The Gift.
That's another interesting movie.
Interesting cast.
Is that the one with her titties?
What?
Is that the one with her titties in it?
That's what I meant by interesting cast.
I was going to say Keanu Reeves and Greg Kinnear
both play bad guys in it,
which is like, you know, you don't see that very often.
Lumberg's in there.
That's kind of tight.
Who?
Gary Cole.
Oh.
Lumberg.
Lumberg.
Lumberg fucker.
All right. Lumberg fucker alright so number three
of Katie Holmes top three
all time movies is Phone Booth
Phone Booth
starting to get aforementioned Colin Farrell
wow so Mad Money's got a chance
number two
Jack and Jill
she's like the female lead
in Jack and Jill. She's like the female lead in Jack and Jill, I guess.
Yeah.
And number one, and our boy Dave is the one that nailed it with Batman Begins.
Yeah, good job, dude.
Thank you.
That gives you three points and a total of four, so you're the winner of Ron Bennington's Mojo Rising.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
What was the theme? Three points. What's Mojo Rising. Oh, shit. Yeah.
What was the theme? With three points.
What's that?
What was the theme?
You said there was a theme.
The theme was it was all people that I had already just mentioned in the previous game,
the movie mashup thing.
True story.
Yeah.
Okay.
You know, because I'm lazy.
It's easier to look up names that I already have in front of me.
But I love that game.
You guys still liking that game?
Was that fun?
All right.
Very cool.
But we're going to finish things off here tonight with the most serious of all the games,
the one people asked for by name.
The game of life.
We're going to bare knuckle box.
We're going to...
It's the game of bare knuckle boxing.
You guys were both half right.
No, we're going to play Last Man Stanton.
And this is going to be very exciting for you guys
because I don't know if all of you have played it this way.
In this version of the game, you get a lifeline.
We're going to get an actor oreline. We're going to get an actor
or actress. We're going to take turns
naming movies that that actor or actress
was in. I'm going to play along
because I like to.
Who won that last game?
Dave won. Alright.
We'll start with Dave and then we'll go to
Sean, then me, then Steve, then Jeff.
We've got to
name movies the person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out.
But one time you can go to the person
whose name tag you chose
to help you out.
Me and you, buddy.
Dave's pointing. Everyone's making eye contact
with their person.
Get the good mojo
going. And where is
Abby Branch 13?
There she is.
This happens sometimes.
Her and her man's
name tag were chosen by
Jeff.
So they get to pick
who we should use for Last Man Stanton.
So who's it going to be?
How about Steve Martin?
That's a great one.
We've played it before.
But I'm happy to play it again.
It feels like we just played it recently, but maybe that was somebody else.
Anyway, let's start with you, Dave.
Father of the Bride.
Yes.
The Jerk.
Yeah.
Wait, is that going the right way?
We were going to go the other way, remember?
Nope.
Remember when I announced which way we were going?
You jerk.
I think I named us all in order.
Jeff was not the second name.
There was a lot of names, man.
But this is early enough in the game that I don't think it's going to hurt anybody. So
you can either say the jerk or
say something else, Sean,
and then
Jeff can say the jerk when it gets to him.
Roxanne. There you go. That was a nice
stand-up move. Nice fair way for you
to play. Jeff and I are friends. Yeah, you guys
are friends. We're all friends here, but
I'm going to say...
What do I want to go with?
I'm going to say...
How about...
The Jerk.
Steve?
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
That's a great one.
I think one time when we played, we left that one out.
So that's a good job.
I love that scene where he's Ruprecht.
He's got the eye patch.
So funny.
So fucking funny.
He's Ruprecht in most of that movie.
Yeah.
Most of it?
Or a big chunk of it.
But he also, you know,
I don't want to give away too much.
Jeff?
Dead men don't wear plaid.
Okay.
Classic.
Black and white.
Planes, trains, and automobiles.
Yeah.
You said it kind of like people are being psyched about it.
I thought so.
I didn't hear a fucking sound.
Yeah, I can never figure out why people cheer for certain answers.
Check this out.
I'll get them hyped, bro.
Three amigos.
That's how you get the crowd going.
Even Trevor didn't clap for me.
Check it out, you guys.
I'm going to get them really going crazy.
Get hype.
Shopgirl.
You weren't supposed to.
You were supposed to be real quiet on that one.
Would you really do love Shopgirl?
That was my go-to.
Steve. L.A.'s my go-to. Steve.
L.A. Story.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's weird.
Some movies get a big reaction.
It's the movies they like, I guess.
The Father of the Bride Part II.
Mm-hmm.
Well played with the Part II part.
That's been a problem for me in the past.
Dave?
Bringing down the house.
I mean, that movie sucks.
I don't know why they clap.
I'm telling you, I don't ever know why they clap.
Is that the Queen Latifah one?
I think so.
Yeah, it sure is.
Eugene Levy.
He wears his hat backwards and shit.
Sure.
It's stupid.
There's only one way to wear a hat.
It's Dave Waite's way.
Bren, what do you got? You're going to your lifeline already?
Sounds like it, yeah.
Just think for a second
Steve Martin
it's our comedy hero Sean
okay go to your lifeline
thought I could make my own choice
other things we say
after you use your lifeline
other ones we say
might trigger something
you know
so you're still good
it's a good strategy he says bow finger ones we say might trigger something. So you're still good.
It's a good strategy.
Bowfinger?
He says Bowfinger.
You gonna go with it? You gonna take Bowfinger?
People didn't cheer for that one, though.
I didn't get them hyped, dude. Lifeline.
I thought that was a beloved movie.
Alright, it's my turn.
I'm gonna get you guys going nuts.
With my turn. I'm going to get you guys going nuts. With my choice.
I'm going to say...
Baby Mama.
Oh!
Cold-blooded out there.
Hey, you know, it's just...
Public opinion, you gotta...
Nothing you can do about it.
Steve?
Little Shop of Horrors funniest thing he's ever done i can't wait till somebody makes little shop girl of horrors
watch the shit out of that. J-F.
Mixed nuts.
Oh, that's a good poll.
Said mixed nuts and you said that's a good poll.
It's a masturbation thing.
It was a dick joke, man.
When you have to explain all of it, it's not really a joke.
It was hilarious.
Sort of a masturbation joke there.
I got it.
My blue heaven.
Is this a deep cut?
That's a deep cut.
Good, too.
That's a good one.
His hair isn't white in it.
He's got that crazy flat top.
Whatever the fuck that hairdo is.
Arugula, he keeps saying that.
I don't know.
I can't fucking think of one, man.
I can't think of one.
I thought we'd help you out with some of our answers,
but we picked some pretty weird ones.
But thanks for playing, buddy.
God damn it.
See you a ton ahead.
Goodbye.
I apologize.
I'll go with pennies from heaven.
You guys are real calm Stevie G
I have to use my lifeline
Okay
Where's your lifeline at?
Where's Nathan?
He's right there, Nathan
Nathan, what do you got?
The Pink Panther
The Pink Panther
Of course
Good looking out
Jeff
Leap of Faith Good looking out. Jeff.
Leap of Faith.
That's a good one.
A smattering of applause.
Dave.
Trev, what do you got for me, bud? Oh, Lifeline.
Trevor.
I hope I'm right on the title, but The Out of Towners.
The Out of Towners. Do you like that one, Dave?
The Out of Towners.
He's going with it, and that's correct.
I'd forgotten about that one.
Holy shit, I've just been sitting here thinking over here
that someone should say The Pink Panther 2.
Fucker.
Fucker. You motherfucker.
I was waiting
don't forget amigos four four amigos i meant to say
said it's so regal. The Amigos 4.
Steve, you can do it.
Panther 3?
No.
I can't think of one.
That didn't happen.
So you out?
Yeah, I think I'm out.
All right, he's out.
JF?
The Spanish Prisoner.
Yeah, that's a good pull as well.
Either clap or don't.
It's weird.
That doesn't sound like a fun title to clap for. What a bunch of half-clappers.
I feel like people clap when you say
the one that they have in their head.
And so now we're down to the ones
we're thinking of no one's ever heard of.
So just one guy's like,
yeah. There were some early ones they didn't clap.
I wonder if they'll clap. This seems like a pretty universal one I'm about to say. Dave's like, yeah. There were some early ones they didn't clap. I wonder if they'll clap.
This seems like a pretty universal one I'm about to say.
Dave's turn.
Sorry.
Cheaper by the dozen.
There you go.
And the crowd goes fucking crazy.
I'm glad you got that in, because I was going to say cheaper by the dozen, too.
I'm glad we're doing it in the right order, Jeff
Sergeant Bilko
Yes, indeed
That was like a part of a tennis match
Where it actually gets going
And then it stops again
Oh, man.
He fucked his own up?
No, well,
I knew as soon as I said
cheaper by the dozen
then that would have it going.
Shit.
My bad, Trevor.
I'm done, dog.
That's too bad.
How about the man with two brains
okay how about the Muppet movie
uh huh
let's say Let's see.
Looney Tunes, back in action.
That's bananas.
House Sitter.
Oh.
Oh.
That one hurt me.
House shitter is what that sounded like.
I should have figured that one out
because I'm out of town.
I should have triggered that one.
Turned into a yawning dog.
Yawning dog.
Stevie Martin was in.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, yeah.
I don't think I'm going to come up with another one.
We did a pretty good job.
There's still something out there on the table.
Do you got another one, Jeff?
Yeah.
No, I don't get a lifeline.
I go lifeline-less.
Yeah.
I have a...
Good.
If you look at the stats on the show,
I've won like 86 times,
and then Jeff is probably in second place
with like nine wins or something like that.
Well, ten now.
Yeah, right? I got like three more.
You got three more? Rip them off, dude.
No, don't rip them off. I mean, hang on a second.
Let me just, let me try
to yank out one more here.
Haha, I got one.
Grand Canyon.
Why are you laughing like
a villain?
Oh, you think you're so clever with your grandkid you walked
right into my trap i was just so happy that you didn't say one of the ones i knew oh shit so i
still have three still have three give me one of them nova k oh boy i've never heard of these Very good stuff. I'm going to have to say I'm out, maybe.
No.
You said that last time.
I don't.
I know.
And then I was thinking about how I flew back across the country yesterday,
and the pilot said, the Grand Canyon's on the left side of the plane.
And I screamed out loud, I'm on the right side of the fucking plane.
Did you really? Yeah, because I was on the right side of the fucking plane. Did you really?
Yeah, because I was on the correct side,
the left side.
I haven't had a captain point out a landmark in forever.
No, the guy was pointing out every fucking thing.
I was like, that's not a thing anymore, dude.
Yeah, they never do that anymore.
Let us fucking sleep back here.
I had a pilot point,
like we were leaving Chicago
and he pointed at where Oprah lived.
Is that real?
Yeah. That's real? Yeah.
That's tight, though.
I mean, I want to know.
You're just happy he didn't say,
on the left is the Grand Canyon,
and that's where we're going to be landing, right?
Because our engines are broken.
Was there any...
It's so fun to make the pilot voice into an iPhone.
Were any more of the pilot's announcements...
What? Were any more of the pilot's announcements clues to the Steve Martin game?
No.
To your left is all of me.
Wait, I thought I was still going to answer.
Wait, I just was saying what a pilot says.
What else would the pilot say?
What else you got after all of me?
We'd like to thank you for flying
at first class ladies and gentlemen
we have a famous band on the show
Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
oh that's right
he sings Maxwell's
Silver Hammer
and he's got silver hair
even back then man something must have scared him
good
yeah Jeff Tate is our winner Even back then, man, something must have scared him good.
Jeff Tate is our winner tonight, everybody.
And I think there is still yet more Steve Martin titles we may have missed.
It's complicating.
That was Brent.
He had another lifeline. We said Paranaut. It's complicated. That was Brent. He had another lifeline.
The big year.
Last time I said that one,
everybody teased me for knowing that it existed.
I was like,
the bird watching movie with Jack Black and Owen Wilson.
They're like, what? What are you talking about?
Was that it?
Fantasia 2000.
He introduces it? He introduces it
He introduces it
Don't take that abuse
You thought of a movie
And it was a good call
It's exciting to me that Kermit the Frog's in the audience
And I
He introduces it, yay!
Fantasia 2000
Sounds like a super boring
POV shooter game.
I'd watch it on a double bill with Blues Brothers 2000.
Fuck yeah.
Anything with 2000 in the title's got to be garbage.
But that was...
We did pretty much all the Steve Martin movies.
Good job.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
So where's your name tag that you were playing for there, Jeff?
It's those folks over there that picked the name, so I sense collusion.
But come and grab your prizes, you guys.
It's a good thing there's two of you because there's too much for one person to carry.
There you go, dude.
And get your name tag back if you want it back.
And then here's all the...
I'll gather all the shitheads.
Sean Jordan,
what do you got to plug?
Promote yourself.
I have L.A. shows.
I don't know exactly where they're at,
but there's a website,
SeanJordanComedy.com,
so go there and find those.
Sean S. Jordan on Twitter
and Sean Cougar Melon Jordan
on Instagram, so...
I've been waiting to say it all night. Sean Cougar Melon Jordan on Instagram. So do that.
I've been waiting to say it all night.
Sean Cougar Melon Jordan.
It's so fun.
Thanks for being here, buddy.
Thanks for having me.
Dave, wait.
What do you got coming up, man?
Hey, I'm going to be on episode Not Safe with Nikki Glaser coming up soon.
Excellent.
And then I have a website called One Year Dave, and every Tuesday I let the internet pick
a thing I need to do for a week.
So this week was no bread, but I
think I ate these donuts and fucked up.
I only had to make it like two more hours.
You think you ate those donuts and fucked up?
How many times have you failed in the
not doing something for one week?
Is this the first time you blew it?
This is week three, so...
All right, walk us through.
What was week one?
Week one, they pick walk every day for like 25 minutes, so I did that.
Also, they're like really helpful ones.
No one's like, you have to eat diarrhea for a week.
Diarrhea diet for seven days.
Well, I realize the internet's a monster,
so I only give them four choices.
So I have a little bit of control.
Oh, you pick the options, and then they...
Yeah, then they pick one.
The second week, I was like, a week of no,
and I was either no soft drinks or no fast food
or no red meat or no porn.
And I was like, they'll pick something healthy.
And then Shane Moss was like, oh they'll pick
porn because it's funny and then
they fucking did and I was like, well that's
She had no porn for a week.
Yeah. You got through that or did you accidentally
eat a donut?
You were just talking outside
about how you haven't had bread all week.
I know.
Well, I just was hungry
and then I started eating it
and I was like...
And then Jeff took it away from me
and I was like,
man, I think that was bread.
I think that was bread.
I think that was bread.
That's the next album, dog.
I think that was bread.
You should...
From now on,
you should pick something
to not do for a week
that you know
when you see it.
It was covered in chocolate.
You may have actually
watched porn
and you didn't know
it was porn.
Jeff,
Jeff Tate,
plug away, buddy.
I'm at Go Bananas
in Cincinnati
June 30th
to July the 3rd and then threeanas in Cincinnati, June 30th to July the 3rd.
And then three nights in Chicago, August 8th, 9th, and 10th at North Bar.
That place is dope.
And another tour coming up in the fall.
Buy my album, Jeff Tate, again.
And that's it.
Is it really?
Yeah.
We're down.
We'll see.
We'll see if he blurts out
another plug.
Oh, he's putting the mic down.
He's even,
he's leaving.
He's taking his donuts.
He's taking that bag of bread.
Enjoy your daily bread.
Good old bread bag.
Steve Aging.
Pull the mic up.
Now he's got the mic back
just in case
fuck it
I already broke the rules
bread
bread
yeah
now you should eat
all bread for a week
only bread
only donuts
I'm an idiot
Steve Agee
Brendan Small
and I are doing
our music and comedy
show Baked
at the Hollywood Improv
this Saturday
at 10pm
with Eddie Pepitone and Nick
Thune as our guests.
You can find me at SteveAj on Instagram.
Wow, you got the quietest and the loudest
comics in the same show.
Nick and Eddie, that's a great combo.
Doug Loves Movies,
thank you Steve, Doug Loves Movies is going to be back
here in LA on Thursday,
June 30th over at
Meltdown Comics.
Do we have any ideas for hashtags for tonight's
episode? Any phrases we used
that were hashtagable with
this one?
I think that was bread.
I think that was bread.
I think that's a good one.
That one pretty much sums it up.
Yeah, I'll hashtag that when the episode comes out.
And one more time for all my guests,
Sean Jordan, Dave Waite, Jeff Tate, Steve Agee.
And as always,
gun fetishizing internet trolls are a shithead.
The customer service lady
at Time Warner Cable
that was really rude
is a shithead.
We didn't even have to really include
the really rude part.
We could have filled in that blank.
And Donald Trump's parents
for giving us Donald Trump our shithead.
Once again, today's
episode is brought to you in part by
Spotify's Discover Weekly.
Discover Weekly allows you to lose yourself
every week in the thrill of new music
discovery. Your Discovery Weekly
playlist is 30 songs you didn't know
you loved yet. You get a brand brand new unique playlist every Monday personalized to your taste
go to Spotify.com slash discover weekly now to get your playlist For Doug to watch another talkie, Eyes of Gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!