Doug Loves Movies - DC Pierson Vs. Minneapolis
Episode Date: July 12, 2013DC Pierson plays the Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at Acme Comedy Co in Minneapolis, MN.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https:/.../art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies!
Coming to you from a hotel room in Minneapolis on Saturday, July 13th, 2 Oceans 13.
Thursday night, I did a stand-up show at Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis with D.C. Pearson,
and I'll play the audio of D.C. taking on the audience members of that show in the Leonard Maltin game at the end of this shorty,
which will be very shortly. We added a 10 o'clock
stand-up show in San Diego on Wednesday, July 17th at American Comedy Company because the 8 o'clock
Douglas movies is very close to sold out. So get your tickets for both of those and I'll see you
soon, sweet home San Diego. Now, as promised, DC versus MPS. Enjoy.
Alright, Minneapolis, I'm recording this shit.
Not fucking around. We're at the Acme Comedy Company.
It could be Acme Comedy Club, so I had to double check on the company. No, Doug, this is a company.
Yeah.
CEO, period.
And that is DC Pearson, everybody, who is going to... to take on audience members in the Leonard Maltin game
to win a fabulous prize package
that I will tell you about right now.
I will explain to you what's in the prize bag.
I always like this part because the crinkling of the prize bag
is picked up by my phone
and makes for great listening.
We've got Hot Off The Press'
Gateway Doug, my latest CD.
Plus my last one,
Smug Life.
You know, you don't have to clap
for the prizes, but
that's cool.
A dude recently gave me
shirts that say
Ganjapreneur on them
How do you become a ganjapreneur
By you giving that shit away for free, Doug?
That's what that guy will say
He included a letter
Should I read the letter?
It's a little, a lot of words
But he included a letter that says,
Hello Doug, thank you so much for representing Legalize It Apparel.
And hopefully one day we'll run into each other at an event.
I have enclosed two shirts for you to rock.
I will send others from time to time for you to rock.
And help me get the word out about my company and legalizations.
He wants to legalize many things.
Oh, he says he wants me to take pictures in the shirts.
I forgot to do that.
But anyway, he'll send me more.
So help me God, if I ever find out that you are wearing the shirts instead of rocking them.
This is rocking them, putting them on your shoulder.
Wearing them is wearing them.
And then also included in this particular prize bag is a $10 iTunes gift card. You can buy, you know, Best Interruptions or premium Douglas movies episodes,
including, coming up very soon, the Super Tournament of Championships.
Yeah, Sam versus Ham.
And Matt Bronger.
Yeah, a little Wolverine. Must be a very exciting matchup coming up soon.
Oh wait, I forgot some of the prizes. Some of the prizes are still in my armpit.
So that's another extra special treat. The CDs will smell like my...
It's limited edition. You can charge more on eBay.
eBay is still a thing. It is. I bought an iPod there recently. I bought a thing that was popular in 2006
off of a thing that was popular in 2006.
Let's see those name tags, Minneapolis.
We've got a few of them.
We've got some good ones.
Some of these may show up again tomorrow,
but I like Justin's.
Justin Hart, he showed that to me out front.
That's a nice one.
Derek and the Dominoes.
I signed that one, so I've definitely seen that one before.
Should I pick now?
Yeah, yeah. Pick whatever you want, dude.
He's going with a Django.
That guy was banking on knowing my first name being everything he needed.
This one said Django Unchained.
I picked it because I want to know if this dude's
name is jango like it's jango but with an e it's the poster from jaguar chain but with an e and i
i just want to know the story yeah what's your deal i made it for the wife but she uh is too
embarrassed the wife i love to do this thing at home but he's not like he said he made it for
the wife.
So who did you think was the hero of Django Unchained?
Pete Shrugged, let the record reflect.
So is her name?
Jen, yeah.
Jen, oh, I see.
It's been Django.
Well, thank you for unchaining her long enough to bring her to the show.
Cool poster.
Well, hopefully
you'll win
something for
the little lady.
Thanks, John Wayne.
It's going to be
a good game,
pilgrim.
A lot of
regressive
gender politics.
Which one of you is better at Leonard Mullen?
He is?
Okay, so come on up.
Awesome.
What is your name, sir?
You're going to have to play against him.
Paul.
Paul.
Get on up here, Paul.
Doug, is this the asshole in the golf shirt?
Yeah, that's a reference from earlier tonight.
I had read one of his tweets about how he said he's going to be the asshole in the golf shirt.
And now he's up on stage.
What a crazy world we live in.
And now he's up on stage.
What a crazy world we live in.
So, yeah, so share your microphone with him, DC, so that we can hear his answers.
And audience, in case you don't already know, this is just a competition between DC and Jen.
Because that's what I'm going to call him,
because that's what his name tag that he's rolled up so I can't even see it anymore says.
It's okay, Jen. Don't be nervous, Jen.
Jen gets to pick a category.
Would you like... Wow, there's a lot of coughing going on in here.
Could it be the day after 7-10?
Would you like,
You have my permission to die.
And that's movies in which Batman actors die,
you know, actors who have played Batman die in other films.
Or would you like Golden Shower's playbook that's movies that begin...
Those are movies that begin with P.
The letter P.
Or Finding Chemo.
Okay, yeah, fuck that category.
That's too depressing.
Let's go with Super Rhymey,
and that's movies where there's rhyming words in the title.
Which one of those would you like to play, Jen?
I'll take the Batman one. Batman one of those would you like to play, Jen? I'll take the
Batman one.
Batman one.
All right.
Guy in the back
is thrilled
for your decision.
Sexually gratified
by it, in fact.
Yes.
I want all the
Batmans to die
while I jerk off to it.
Come on, Adam West's corpse.
Oh, people are offended by that.
Bang, pizow!
Too soon, too soon.
He's not even dead yet.
He's not even dead yet.
The year is 2010.
Two and a half stars for Mr. Leonard Maltin
for this movie.
He says about this movie,
how much mileage
can a comedy get
from a single joke?
That's a harsh opening line.
He also says about this movie that the lead actor in this movie is undeniably funny.
And he lists six names.
And of course it's got a Batman actor who dies.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Jed?
You're going to have to go with all six on that one.
All six. That's a smart opening bid.
Then we go to DC.
Doug, what year was it again?
The year is 2010.
2010.
Yeah. 2010, The Space Odyssey.
I'm going to go
with four names,
Doug.
Ooh,
four names,
Jen.
What are you
going to do
with that?
I'm going to have
to name that
movie,
I guess,
because I
don't know
Oh,
okay.
This is going
to be interesting.
How are you
feeling right now,
DC?
Not well, Doug.
I was transfixed by somebody's Darth Vader doll in the front row.
I missed a good deal of the descriptions.
I really appreciate it.
He was like motioning with it in a weird way and pointing at it.
And I don't know what I meant to glean from it.
I think it's bad.
I don't think... I think meant to glean from it. I think it's bad. I don't think...
I think I might not leave Minneapolis, though.
This might be it for me.
So, if you can hit me with those clues one more time,
it might be some of the last words I ever hear.
To my girlfriend, I love you.
See you on the other side.
Two and a half stars.
2010.
2010.
How much mileage can a comedy get from a single joke?
Asks a very cynical Leonard Moulton.
But he also says that the lead actor in this movie is undeniably funny.
And he lists six names, of which you get four.
And Val Kilmer is your first name then Maya Rudolph then powers booth
Doug the movie is MacGruber yes it is
sit the fuck down Jen thank you for playing thank you for trying so we have to get the
Darth Vader up here yeah Yeah, we do.
Yeah, you got to get up here. So, yeah, his name tag that he was gesturing with earlier,
he has a, it says, Dez, Star, or Bust,
which is a sign that it's being held by, like,
this is like a vintage Darth Vader doll, right?
It feels like, come on, come on, you've been selected.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You've been chosen.
Yeah, it's got the, I'm not that much of a geek.
I was like, what can I do?
What do I have in my creepy house with all my people hanging out?
We've got, you know, the song, you know that stuff.
And then it says, can't care, sticky seat.
And then it says, you't care, sticky seat. And then it says,
you know what?
Sit down.
So explain it in English.
You know what?
You can explain it to me
when we're smoking out
in the parking lot after.
Let's play the game.
Let's do it.
Okay.
So your name is Des,
yes?
His name is Des.
And Des, Des Star. It's like the game. Let's do it. Okay. So your name is Des. His name is Des. And Des...
Or Des.
Des Star.
It's like Death Star.
Yeah.
Oh my God,
this is gonna be great.
All right,
Des is into this.
Des gets a big category.
Would you like
The Past and The Curious?
That's movies with
sexually ambiguous
historical figures.
Or would you like Dis-Distofferson?
And that's Chris Christofferson movies that got two stars or less from Leonard
I don't even know
any of those
or What You Talk About
Willis
and that's movies
where Bruce Willis
is heard
but not seen
What You Talk About
Willis
I'll take that category
okay you like that category
would you like
What You Talk About
Willis
from 2006
or 1990?
Oh, let's go 1990.
Oh, interesting. Okay.
1990 is the year of this movie that Leonard Maltin calls militantly offensive.
Yeah, and he says that the movie has a climactic apartment fire that may traumatize young children.
And Leonard lists 11 names.
Yeah, 11 names.
How many names do you think you need?
I'll go too deep in that ass.
I'll go too negative.
Negative two?
Negative two.
He says negative two names,
DC.
I don't want him
to go too deep
in my ass.
But I do want him
to name that movie.
All right,
so you have to name it
and then you have to name it.
Who's talking to?
What are the top two people billed in the movie?
John Travolta and Christy Alley?
Yes.
And what was the title again?
Look Who's Talking T-O-O 2.
That is all correct.
Oh, my God.
That is a savant!
That's a savant too! Thank you!
Yeah, take your bag, take your doll, take your sign.
Don't put yourself back, you can return it to its place of honor in your ass.
I give you a pass.
Well, congratulations, dude.
That was very nicely played.
Yeah.
Negative two.
That was great.
I love that he was like,
okay, I'm going to get too deep up in that ass.
A movie about babies.
Hey.
Crap Kingdom is still in stores.
It's in stores.
So, yeah.
If you're a young adult and you're listening to this,
or if you're anyone,
it's a humorous
fantasy adventure novel
that all ages will enjoy.
And then my first book,
The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep
and Never Had To,
is also still available.
It's a novel.
It's science fiction.
If you're listening to this,
you'll enjoy both of them.
Yeah, if you like books,
check them out.
You're into that. Yeah you'll enjoy both of them. Yeah, if you like books, check them out. You're into that.
Yeah, this isn't Doug Love's books.
D.C. Pearson, everybody!
And as always...
Wait, where's the person who lost?
That guy.
Who's the shithead?
Anybody at all?
Probably Okay
As always
Prop 8 is a shithead
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk
His eyes of gold, his viewing prowess
Makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.