Doug Loves Movies - Deb DiGiovanni, Gareth Evans, and Ben Wheatley Guest
Episode Date: September 16, 2011Comic Deb DiGiovanni and filmmakers Gareth Evans and Ben Wheatley join Doug at Comedy Bar in Toronto during the Toronto International Film Fest.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy... and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody
My name is Doug
And I love movies
Yeah This is Doug Lo I love movies. Yeah.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from Comedy Bar in Toronto, Ontario, Canada
during the Toronto International Film Festival on Friday, September 16th to Ocean's Eleven.
I'm checking my Leonard Maltin iPhone app
to make sure that it works in here
because we're in kind of a basement setting
and I'd hate to find that out later in the show
although if I found out right now
I don't know what I would do
I'm fucked either way
but it seems to be working
so I'll just leave the application
open and see what happens.
It's so dark in here,
even though it's 6pm.
Can we get the lights up just a little bit
so I can see? Did you guys bring name tags?
Oh, look at that!
Oh, cupcakes.
Aren't you clever?
What a clever way to get the stoner's attention
i'll attach my name to a bunch of cupcakes and what do you have right there what does your say
maddie but it's your your letters all written out and what style is that what would you even
call that and that's somebody brought a bag of cookies is that what that is? Yeah.
Oh, it's garbage.
You pulled something out of the garbage and wrote Margo on it. Or did you search
through the garbage until you found something with Margo
written on it?
That would be weird. Alright.
What's that over there? What is that, a book?
James and the Giant Peach.
And your name is Peach?
I could do that joke all night.
What's that big one right there?
I can't even read it.
It's so big.
It's a bunch of...
Oh, I got to...
Bring it up here, sir.
Or a weird lady.
All right.
All right, so he strung together
a bunch of pictures of movie posters.
And I don't know why.
Why does it say J-A-T at the beginning?
Jason.
I couldn't find one that started with Jason.
Oh, okay.
Jason in Laue, we good night.
And good lucky number 11.
Good company, men.
All right, nice job.
But here's where I get into trouble,
because on Twitter, when I play Build a Title on there on occasion,
the titles are written out,
so it's how they're written and flow into each other.
And on the podcast, I like out so it's how they're written and flow into each other and
on the podcast i like to do it more how they sound so so away we good night and good luck doesn't
work but uh i'm sure there's some other movie that starts with the word go and of course there's just
go but as we've as we've heard in previous episodes that gets you nowhere to just try to
add the last word that was already there but uh you know it's still a lovely graphic and
it's big and looks like you had to like fold it up to put in your pocket
to come over here to get through customs or something i had to go through customs uh yesterday and um it's hard
to explain why two guys from canada are driving one guy from america into canada without making
it sound work related because we just wanted to cruise right through we're just going to the film
festival but why are you guys from here and he's from there?
Oh, we're friends.
Friends that go pick him up and drive him across the border.
That shouldn't be suspicious.
So did you guys hear the episode that plopped today?
And I actually, a few of you have already,
I actually won the Leonard Maltin game for once
it was
very exciting
it was a studio episode
and if you haven't heard it yet
which I guess you haven't
most of you, spoiler alert
it'll still be fun to listen
knowing that I win
and I'll be taping episodes
of Doug Loves Movies
in New York City, Austin, Texas
and Minneapolis, Minnesota
coming up soon. And all the dates
and hyperlinks are at DougLovesMovies.com
The movie on the
plane flying to Buffalo
the other day was
Pirates of the Caribbean
One Strange Night Pirates of the Caribbean one strange night
and
I continued to not watch it.
Yeah.
I held strong
and didn't watch it
but at one point
I looked up
and I saw Johnny Depp
running across a long table
while eating a piece of food.
Which I think sums up how exciting all of the Pirates movies are.
Yeah, he runs across the table, he's got a bagel in his hand.
It's hilarious.
I had a great time doing shows this week in Sioux Falls, Tucson,
and the aforementioned Buffalo.
Apologies to everyone in Buffalo for me opening my set with Hello Toronto.
I was excited.
I was excited about coming to Toronto.
I jumped the gun.
It was one city early on that.
Thanks to Midnight Movies programmer Colin Geddes.
He hooked me up to see three movies yesterday
at the Toronto International Film Festival.
I saw Lovely Molly, Hysteria, and The Day.
Why did you go, ooh, when I said Hysteria?
Because, yeah, it's about the invention of the vibrator.
And...
Yeah, it's called hysteria
because this one doctor thought that
women suffer the reason that they're
emotional is because they're hysterical
and that they just need to
somebody give them a good finger blast
laughter
laughter
laughter
it's I don't know about that movie
I
it's sort of I don't know about that movie.
It's sort of... I don't know.
I guess you guys need to...
If that sounds appealing to you, then go see it.
It's weird how it's really dirty,
but also super stuffy and not dirty at the same time.
It's like if King's Speech met Last Tango in Paris.
But nobody ever took their clothes off so that's probably not
something that makes you want to run out and see it
but I'll talk more about the movies that I've seen
here later, I saw another one
this afternoon
but I also want to thank Colin for
helping hook me up with my guests for
tonight, a couple of my guests for tonight are directors of films here at the Toronto International Film Festival.
And I keep saying the full thing because I don't, for some reason, I feel weird calling it TIFF.
Like, I feel like you have to have been a few times, like, to just walk around going,
So I'm at TIFF, and I saw a lot of great films at TIFF.
It just sounds like an insider word that I don't deserve yet.
And it also doesn't sound very masculine when you say it.
But I'll get used to it, and I'll work out my problems with it.
But two directors of films that people are raving about here at the festival that I cannot wait to see.
And then also, another guest is courtesy of being a friend of mine from
Last Comic Standing, so please welcome
to the stage Gareth Evans,
Ben Wheatley, and
Debra DiGiovanni. We created the most awkward setup for you guys to get into, chairs.
I'm just sitting here like, what, am I in your way?
What do you want me to do for you?
what am i in your way what what what do you want me to do for you uh let's just start off by talking about the the movie makers that are here deb lady sit this one out for a second
uh let's start with gareth hello gareth hello that's gareth's voice everybody everybody listening
you know there's a hundred or so people here today, but I should warn you guys that out there in the world,
a good, I'd say at least 1,200 people
listen.
So
be very, very nervous.
No, it's no big deal.
But your movie,
Gareth, is called
The Raid, correct?
True.
I didn't want to get too far into it and be talking to the wrong
guy.
I should
have said no. I totally
would have fallen for it. I would have been like, Ben, your
movie's called The Raid.
Ben's movie's called Kill List
and you can see why I could get them confused
because they both sound fucking awesome.
Kill List and The Raid,
what else do you need to know about those movies
other than that they are Midnight Madness selections?
And yours, Gareth, The Raid, played a few nights ago?
Yeah, we opened Midnight Madness then.
On the first night, on the 8th.
And how did that go?
It was fucking crazy.
Because it's a crazy-ass crowd that's super into it like when the
piracy thing comes on before the movie people in the audience go are
so that's fun and uh that gets you in the mood for an exciting uh movie about uh essentially i
saw the trailer for The Raid,
and I recommend it.
If you haven't seen it yet, just YouTube it.
It just looks like it's just a nonstop action machine.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
You're so soft-spoken for a guy that makes... It's really violent, right?
Yeah.
I'm a pretty nice guy, actually,
even though I tend to...
My job consists of telling
people to punch each other in the face.
There's a lot of face punching
in this. Yeah, and kick in
as well. Now, when you say telling them
to do it, isn't... This movie is
technically Indonesian?
Yeah, it's an Indonesian
martial arts movie, basically, but
I'm not Indonesian, obviously.
Well, I'm, Indonesian obviously well I you know
maybe half so how did you get how do you how do you get signed up to direct an
Indonesian action movie if you're not Indonesian my wife owns the company so
she can about it your wife's Indonesian yeah she's okay and but you had like a
translator or something on the set?
I've done two films on Indonesia.
On the first one, I needed a translator a lot.
But then in the process between the first one and the second one,
I learned Indonesian then.
Of course, because you learned the phrase you needed,
which was punch him in the face.
Once you've learned how to say that, you're good to go.
Well, congratulations.
Once you've learned how to say that, you're good to go.
Well, congratulations.
I don't want to ask something that's incorrect,
leading to revealing something you don't want to,
but it already has a distributor or it just got a distribution deal?
Yesterday, we were very proud to say that we actually sold the entire world.
So it should come somewhere soon. Yay!
The world!
It should come somewhere soon.
Yay!
The world.
And then Kill List is directed by Ben Wheatley.
Am I pronouncing that right?
Yes.
You guys are both going to be so loquacious today.
I can feel it.
I can feel it.
And the story of Kill List, from what I understand, also has an awesome trailer that you can see.
And I'm going to see it.
It's the Midnight Madness movie, Tomorrow Night.
Correct?
It's the last one, yeah.
Yeah, the last one of the series of Midnight movies.
And all those movies, you're guaranteed there's going to be some fucked up things that happen.
And Kill List looks like it's no exception.
Because the critics are raving about it in your in your uh
homeland and uh because it's all over the trailer and they say things like uh scariest hitman movie
ever and best hit they just keep talking about how it's a great hitman movie and do you think
that's a reasonable way to describe it yeah absolutely yeah there are people who kill people for money in it they are
hit men yeah and that and and then there's a load of horrible shit as well
yeah but they call it like scary and suspenseful which like I don't those
aren't words that come to mind for me with movies that are just about hit men
they're usually very cool and calculated and you don't you know you don't really
care what happens to them but this sounds like it's really
involving it has that element to it I got a take a question if you can't
answer with a yes or no it's like I'm interviewing a band but no you guys use you obviously do you let your your filmmaking do the
talking and you have publicists it fucked you over by talking you into
coming here it's a visual medium you say I'm lost I'm just lost on just my voice
I've dealing pictures is this what all podcasts are like?
I just thought it was just blokes on their own with laptops
but are they all like this with like a hundred
strangers?
There are some that have an audience
but mine is I think is one of the
leaders in
always having an audience
Is it?
Yeah
If that's something you could claim always having an audience. Is it? Yeah.
If that's something you could claim. Is this your bedroom?
I have facilities like this in other cities.
I usually do it in Los Angeles.
So if you're in L.A. pushing either of your films,
you can come by and visit again.
I'll bring in a bunch of people that talk a lot to be on it with you.
Debra's so polite over there.
Most of my comedian friends would have been jumping in and making fun of everything.
You're just sitting there laughing.
That's me being Canadian.
That's me being, I'll let these people, they own us.
You can take me and do stuff.
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
What?
I know.
Yeah, I've already terrified. Oh my God. What? I know. Yeah,
I've already terrified
the foreigners.
Do you see?
We already had that
when I tried to get
into the country.
Did you really?
Taken aside
to the naughty room
where they punish people
who only have hand luggage
for some fucking reason.
You know,
I'm only here for three days.
I've just got a small bag
with some pants in it.
You know, I don't... Yeah three days. I've just got a small bag with some pants in it. You know, I don't...
Yeah, that's a likely explanation.
What am I going to smuggle from London to fucking Toronto?
The whole...
Don't get me started about the whole...
Please.
The whole airport security situation is ridiculous.
They were miserable.
I know that.
Yeah, yeah.
Some of us are happy here, though.
I got through
no problem. Yeah, yeah, well,
that's one thing the listeners don't know is the difference
in your haircuts.
It's so nice in Canada that I saw a sign today
of a storefront that said,
watch your step,
because there's one step to get up into the store,
which is funny enough,
but then underneath that,
sorry for any inconvenience
this one step may have caused.
I'm sure he wasn't a watch your step
watch the step
watch your step
yeah yeah
oh yeah watch it buddy
sorry for the inconvenience
but I'm gonna fuck you up
so you must know a lot of cool
Indonesian swear words right
oh plenty yeah
yeah yeah
what you wanna know you know like it doesn't go out in Indonesia right a lot of cool Indonesian swear words, right? Oh, plenty, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
What do you want to know?
You know, like... This doesn't go out
in Indonesia, right?
Well, you know,
if they have a computer,
do they have computers
in Indonesia?
One or two, yeah.
They can totally get it
and they're going to hear that
and they're going to be
so mad at me
that I'm going to have to
apologize to the entire country.
So what do you want to know?
Oh, I was just like, what's a really
filthy word? We'll try to guess what it is.
Contal.
Cunt.
Close.
The other one.
The other one?
I clenched
for a second.
Do you mean boys?
Boys parts?
I don't know the names for those.
So how is it again?
Canto?
Canto.
Canto.
That means cock.
Oh.
All right.
There you go.
If you'd like to know a cunt, it's mimic.
Oh, see, that sounds pretty.
Doesn't that sound jazzy?
Yeah.
Show everybody your mimic.
Doesn't that sound jazzy?
Show everybody your mimic.
It sounds like it should be wearing a babushka with a mimic, doesn't it?
It sounds...
Never mind.
I was walking down the street
and I saw a mimic and a babushka.
What are you going to do?
So, Debra,
do you go to the,
it's right here,
you live here in Toronto,
do you ever get to attend
any of the films?
No, not so much.
It's because everything starts again,
you know what I mean?
It's like it's usually
this kind of the college scene
starts again for,
so it's like the minute
the festival starts,
I'm always on the road,
so no, not really.
Well, I'm glad,
I suck.
I'm glad that I'm here, really really we're lucky that we got yeah we
got you here that's true because i'm usually i'm usually out and about that this time so
do you go to the movies though when you're on the road i do go to the movies i watch probably like
you i watch most of my movies on planes i hate to say it but it's true it's you know it happens
it's a way to get them in yeah so i would say movies not films so much unfortunately so you
know yeah they don't have film festivals on planes.
I don't think the raid or kill list is ever going to be on a plane.
Au contraire.
Oh, hello.
But, you know, an American plane, probably not.
I think Air Canada is one of the biggest buyers of weird movies, isn't it?
Because they give you individual players
so you could see something a little bit more graphic.
You know, like United Airlines,
they're not letting you see anything but...
Yeah, they have Black Swan on there.
Sarah Jessica Parker movies.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah.
Seriously.
Black Swan, though.
Black Swan.
It's a short film, though, isn't it?
Watch it.
Yes.
It's only a preview.
Yeah.
So I just like that.
Watching people watch Black Swan.
What's the last movie you saw?
Me?
Yeah.
Oh, Thor.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Listen, I have a lot of gay boys in my life.
I have a lot of gay boys.
And they sat me down and we enjoyed.
All we did was just freeze that one shirtless scene.
You've watched it.
Come on.
And yeah.
And Natalie Portman is in that.
Can you believe it?
That is shocking.
She goes from Oscar to Thor.
Oh my God.
How did she do it?
I don't know.
It's horrible.
It's horrible, isn't it?
She shows up.
They put on a different costume.
It's like she's a different person.
She says lines.
She was in every movie for a couple months there.
Your Highness.
Her Highness.
His Highness.
Was she in that too?
She's the queen of pretending.
Says that right at the top of her
resume. That's her job.
That is her job, pretending.
She's the queen Amidala of pretending.
To be more specific.
Thor.
So you guys, let's start with Gareth.
What have you seen?
Have you seen anything else at the festival while you've been here?
Yeah, I've been to a couple of the midnight screens
and watched Your Next, the Adam Wingard film,
and that was brilliant, really good.
Yeah, I had a ticket for Your Next.
It started at 4 and would have gotten over too late for me to come over here,
so I didn't get to go, but I've only heard good things about that movie.
It's really, really good really good yeah there's some good
movies here this year probably every year that's my first time did I mention
that and what have you seen anything been I just flown in about 40 minutes
ago I did see suckerucker Punch on the plane.
Wow.
That's a weird film, isn't it?
Fucking hell.
Those girls are so close to being raped all the time.
Yeah.
But isn't it like, it's like Shutter Punch Inception, isn't it?
It's all the same film.
Interesting.
It's, well, I certainly... Punch Island. So you're saying it's well I certainly I'm child so you're saying
it's like
it's like
Inception with
tits
very short
skirts
and quite
interested in
Japanese stuff
yeah
and then slightly
having a go at
the first world war
which was weird
what was that all about yeah a slight go at it saying World War, which was weird. What was that all about?
Yeah, a slight go at it,
saying, what if the Nazis were zombies?
That might explain something.
Don't worry about killing them,
because they're already dead,
with a machine gun.
What?
What the fuck?
And when they cuddle the boy,
and they go, oh, don't worry, boy,
we're here, girls with mini skirts because because we know
all about the first world war what i was confused by that film even even in its four three weird
back of a seat version that i saw in the plane they must have cut some bits out of it for this
for the plane i reckon i don't think so no i don't think so either. I saw it all. It didn't make much sense.
And it's PG-13,
which I love the hypocrisy
of the PG-13, because
they're constantly in danger
of being raped,
but since there's no
bloodshed or raping,
just the threat of it, it's okay.
And they get brutalized.
Like, you can hit a woman in the face
really hard and get a PG-13,
and you can't do that, you know,
like, if you hit her and blood comes out,
then it gets an R.
It's crazy.
Well, she says R.
What's that?
She goes R.
Now you're getting it.
He gets off a long flight
having watched Sucker Punch
on the plane
and gets sucker punched again
told that he's got to go up here
at a comedy podcast
in a basement
very far away from where
the festival is happening.
I didn't even know there was an audience here
when I went in the back room.
You thought we were just going to be sitting and just chatting?
Fuck knows, I don't know.
No one told me anything.
It's a mysterious world, podcasting.
It is.
I like these lights in my eyes.
It's really like an interrogation.
Are there any interrogation scenes
in the raid?
No.
Because it's all a raid the entire
time, right? You don't have to go back to
how you got your information.
No, we just punch people and kick people
and ask questions later.
Is there a massive hard drive in it?
Spoilers.
Sorry, Venner.
I saw a thing today called The Incident.
Incident isn't really, it's kind of
a pretty soft word for what happens.
It's the asylum movie, right?
Some mental patients take over
an asylum.
Oh, did you hear about that incident?
Where all those people that were in the asylum were
viciously murdered.
What an incident.
That was a real fender bender.
But at least when you're watching the movie,
when the title comes up, it's like,
incident.
Like, it's in red letters and something,
you know, blood's dripping off.
Or there's a bum bum when it comes up.
Something to say.
It's not like an incident like,
oh, I bumped into Marge at the store.
Alright, how are we doing on time?
Let's see.
Let's see how we're doing.
Deborah?
Yes? Yes? So we met on Last Comic Standing where we were... Debra yes
so we met on Last Comic Standing
where we were
humiliated daily
forced to live in a hotel together
that's true
the season we were on we got separate rooms
it's true
when we were doing that show together
I have to say
this Debra that you see right now, that is her 24-7.
What?
Loud and terrified?
Yeah, just obnoxious.
No, just like always fun and pleasant and happy.
Oh, well, yeah.
I don't know how you do it.
It's true.
A lot of drugs.
A lot of drugs.
That's because I spend a lot of time by myself so i'm excited to
be out do you know what i mean that's it it's all the people i contact my breaks yeah last
comic standing there was always like nine more of us standing around so it was like wow it's
exciting you must just totally power down when you're alone and you're like the most quiet yeah Ben's nodding off
jet lag
what time is it
do you have anything else
you have to do tonight
do you have to go
to any more events
or interviews
or anything
yeah I'm going out
for dinner
oh dinner
that'll be nice
yeah that's good
and uh
yeah
that's it
and then
just be really confused
about the time
I think I'll probably go to bed really late and then wake up really early that's it. And then just be really confused about the time, I think.
I'll probably go to bed really late and then wake up really early.
That's my plan.
That's a good idea.
It's inevitable.
You'll be on the right time frame for your midnight movie tomorrow night.
Yeah.
Well, it's always the terror of these things.
The only one thing you can do waiting for the midnight screening is you know get drunk
And that usually starts about morning
So it's quite a long day
He can't complain, you know, and then you go to a Q&A at the end of it when you're fucked
I'd already asked you about distribution
Would you want to?
Do you have one?
Yes, I have one.
It is distributed, yeah, in the US, yeah.
Oh, right on.
IFC.
Yeah, IFC is doing it.
Oh, fantastic.
Good deal.
Good, good people.
I knew it.
I knew you both had it,
but I wanted to let you make the announcement.
We play some games on the show from time to time.
See, the people like it.
For some reason.
I don't think...
This may be the first show in quite a while
where I've subjected three guests
that have not heard the podcast
into... Yeah, exactly.
I've heard it.
I've listened to you.
Okay, you've heard it, but people say that
all the time.
You scrub
through it, don't you?
It used to be when people would say it, when a publicist
would set it up, or when I'd talk
to the person personally
about being on the show,
I'd say, just listen to an episode
so you know what you're in for.
And they listen for a while and go,
oh, it's just Doug asking questions about movies
and he doesn't even know what state he's in.
This is going to be easy.
And then they don't listen to the games
at the end of the show or the back half
of the show and then so then when they're out here they're very confused
by it and then some people listen to it they're still confused by it so yeah so
we'll see what happens today but you know because because the audience wants
it we have to we have to play it should we play a little Build a Title first?
This is a game where you're not playing for anyone in the audience.
It's just for fun.
Or for torture, depending on how you look at it.
And I keep thinking of that movie, The Incident.
The strangest thing happened down at the asylum.
This one guy was working there,
and then he wasn't working there anymore because his head was gone.
Crazy incident.
Oh, I guess I'm going to have to use a Sharpie
because I don't have a regular pen.
Here's how Build a Title works.
We start with a title.
I've selected a title.
This is a film.
A lot of people love it.
It was shot in Toronto.
Some would call it a classic.
The film is Firehouse Dog.
I don't even know if it was supposed to take place in Toronto
what would you guys do
if you were told yeah we're going to make this movie
about New York or Chicago or wherever
and they go but we're filming it in Toronto
would you be okay
with that
give it a try
everything looks the same to me
so it's all cool
see that's the thing
a lot of people think that Toronto skyline looks like New York skyline,
but there's some distinct differences.
I went to Vancouver, and I couldn't believe it was so much like Caprica.
They must have modeled it on that place place like that was the future or something
but that is vancouver's a better double because it you know kind of like double it sort of looks
like washington state no it looks very much like vancouver yeah yeah a hundred percent vancouver oh
this the skyline you're right the skyline in every city has some building in there
That totally gives it away
Like that.21 in San Francisco
Or that other thing in Seattle
Okay
Space needle
So we're going to play Build a Title with Firehouse Dog
Build a Title, of course, Build a Title of course is a game
that this gentleman out here attempted
with his sign
Jason is that your name?
Okay Jason
And so we'll start with Deb
Okay
Here's all you got to do Deb
Take Firehouse Dog
We just need you to add another title
to that movie of another movie
It can be a movie that ends with the word fire take Firehouse Dog, we just need you to add another title to that movie of another movie.
It can be a movie that ends with the word fire, or a movie that begins
with dog. Or if there
is one, a movie that begins with house dog.
Oh!
I don't think there is.
Oh!
Here we go.
St. Elmo's Firehouse Dog.
Love it!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, here we go. St. Elmo's Firehouse Dog. Love it.
I'm going to have to add something onto that.
Yes.
Good luck, Ben.
Yeah, now you have to come up with a title that ends with the word saint. I drifted off there while you were explaining it.
What?
What the fuck?
So it ends in what?
Ends in saint
or begins with dog.
A movie.
Oh,
saint,
firehouse,
dog day afternoon.
Ooh.
Like,
you didn't even pause.
Oh,
let's go.
Afternoon.
Afternoon.
Hmm. go afternoon he went he went from caring to vicious we just met that's really mean that oh it's survival man I didn't know it was automatic didn't know what I was doing I don't give a shit about this yeah I will murder you so how does this game work again what
have I got to do you do have a tough you are in a tough spot here you have to
come up with a movie that ends with the word the only thing i had the saint is is pretty much it uh or or uh
starts with the word noon or afternoon so it has to start dog after day afternoon i'm on
this one uh it's hard enough just to remember the other i know uh does anybody know don't yell it
out if you have one.
I got one with saint, but I'm kind of cheating on it.
But how the fuck does this work again?
You think you have a movie that ends in the word saint?
Kind of, but can I cheat a little bit with it?
Maybe. Let's hear it.
Let's see how creative it is.
Okay.
Boondock Saints.
Come on.
I love how supportive you guys are.
Thank you, everyone.
But who would ever say
Boondog Saints almost fire?
That's like how a five-year-old talks.
But that was a good...
That's probably as close to a correct answer
as we're going to get at this point.
Is there a movie that starts with noon?
Well, there's The Saint, like you said.
Yeah, The Saint.
We throw out The in this game.
So that's it, right?
It was a pretty short build-a-title.
But let me read it out.
Let me read it out for fun.
St. Elmo's Firehouse Dog
Day Afternoon
I was thinking
from dog
you could go to
remember that movie
Dog Eat Dog
Man Bites Dog
that's it
remember that movie
that I'm not thinking
of the right movie
I knew
I knew the movie
you were thinking of
yeah you knew
there's a Hong Kong film called Dog Bite Dog.
Really?
Yeah, Dog Bite Dog is a Hong Kong film.
You could use that.
Is that good, though?
It's okay, yeah.
It's pretty good.
All right.
I love that Man Bites Dog.
Yeah, that's good.
That's an intense movie.
What do your parents think of the movies that you make?
My dad likes them,
but my mom finds them a little bit violent.
My gran loves them all
My gran
she's like 83
Oh that
because that skips a generation
Yeah exactly
She loves
she loves violent films
She grew up
watching them with me
and she called me up
about two or three weeks ago
and she said
I just saw this wonderful film
you should definitely watch it
82
83 years old
grey
permed hair
Kill Bill
She's brilliant
volume 1 and 2
you think she sat through the whole thing?
well just the first one
that's got some pretty good stuff
for grandma in there
speaking of decapitations
where is that in the second one?
I get him confused
if the thing's on TV I watch it all the way through,
even if it's with commercials
and changing pussy to party.
I hope that's the version my gran watched.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
But it's still pretty violent when they show it on TV.
What about you, Ben?
Does your family like your
filmmaking?
My sister went to see the last film.
My mum's too scared.
She just won't even go?
She wants to, but I told
her not to.
Because she'll get upset.
She was upset by the
last one, so this one's much
worse.
I just saw your last one Two weeks ago by the way
Oh
Cheers man
If any of you haven't seen it yet
Watch it
It's brilliant
It's a pound
And it costs a pound
In Poundland at the moment
Oh really
In the UK
Yeah which is a shop
For stuff for a pound
Which everyone's been
Telling me on Twitter
Which I'm really
Fucking happy about
That's some back-end percentage
you're going to get off that one.
Yeah, I don't think I get shit all from it.
But it's exciting that people
are going to see it for...
I'm happy for people getting a bargain.
Can't be upset about that.
Were you the voice of Mel Gibson's puppet in The Beaver?
I've not seen Jodie Foster's Beaver.
All right.
It's time to get real serious.
This next game, you guys, if you thought that was tricky. It's time to get real serious. This is
this next game, you guys.
If you thought that was tricky.
It's the start.
Here come the cupcakes.
It's time to play
the Leonard Maltin game.
Leonard Maltin, of course, is a film critic
who
probably doesn't even watch your movies.
I'm guessing this is the part where we pick people by their names, right?
Yeah, this is that part.
It gets pretty exciting when all the tags come up.
There's some sort of fish with Tara written on it.
And a boob.
And a what?
A boob?
Why is it a fish and a boob?
Oh, Piranha 3D.
The piranha's gonna eat the boob.
Not like you've murdered a woman.
All right.
And then sitting next to her,
sitting next to the,
the Tirana boob is Smelly
and, uh,
oh, Shelly.
Shelly.
So, and then of course
there's the cupcakes over here.
There's a decapitated head back there.
That's crazy, those cupcakes. Is that, what's, is that a big head back there? What's going on there? I could be over here. There's a decapitated head back there, isn't there? That's crazy, those cupcakes.
Is that a big head back there?
What's going on there?
I could be in there.
It's a piñata?
It's a piñata?
Oh, guys.
All right, so just go out into the audience and just select who you'd like to play for
and take the name tag from them, please, at this time.
All at the same time?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, just go do it.
I'll hang out over here.
These are the only rules. We're not going to be murdered as we step out.
It's the weirdest cult
that I have.
Everyone brings a name tag and a weapon.
Oh, why did they go for the
fish in the tit?
They're going deep.
They go deep into the crowd.
Yay.
All right.
Look at that.
So.
That's supposed to be me?
Holy shit.
I thought it was Caillou, that kid.
That child show.
Hold the bottom.
I think that candy comes out of the microphone.
Wow, and it really does have candy in it.
Yeah.
But you go,
a pinata can't just sit on a table like this.
It would be weird to beat it with a bat on a table.
It's full of candy.
I'd love to smash that thing.
That's Meredith.
Meredith, okay.
I don't blame you for laughing, Ben,
because this is the worst name tag I've ever seen. Name tag. What do I do for a name tag? Oh, I don't blame you for laughing, Ben, because this is the worst name tag I've ever seen.
Name tag.
What do I do for a name tag?
Oh, I know.
I'll make a piñata of someone else's head.
Name tag.
I was actually laughing,
because when you said about smashing it,
it was like, you know, in the UK,
if you say you're going to smash that thing,
it means you're going to fuck it.
Oh,
right.
That's what Doug meant.
He's hysterical.
That is totally what I meant.
Yeah.
Maybe after the podcast.
Yeah.
That would be quite the image
in front of 120 people.
I'd like to see you smash that thing.
That's a movie.
That's a movie.
I'm going to smash the candy out of that thing.
I think you could take it in both holes.
I'm going to smash that head until candy comes out of it.
I love that.
That should be the new thing.
I'm going to smash you until candy comes out, baby.
Right?
But now you just made me realize,
you should probably open up a shop where you sell pinata heads,
but it should all just be Gwyneth Paltrow.
That's a good time.
And so Ben picked the...
Titfish.
Titfish!
Oh, now that I see it up close it makes perfect sense
You can even wear it around your neck
It's got a chain on it
And yeah it's Titfish
Oh
That's seriously a wrecked nipple too
That's crazy
And someone named Sean Figured out that a copy of Sean of the Dead
is a clever way to go for a Sean name tag.
And he wrote Sean again.
So it's Sean of the Dead Sean.
And that's...
There's a number on the back.
Oh, no, no.
On the back, everybody writes who they want me to call a shithead at the end of the show if they lose.
I think they did on terrorists, too.
So don't say who it says, but I'd still want to see.
And then there's not one on this, is there?
There's no shithead on the back of that.
Just Meredith.
So we'll have to have her.
If Deb loses, we'll have to have her come back up and tell me who to call a shithead.
But it's just a little consolation prize.
So don't feel bad if you lose today, guys, because they'll get some sort of...
Hang on.
Losing.
What's the losing?
This is competition time now, isn't it?
Oh, I mean, you know, as opposed to not winning.
Like, there's no real...
I thought we just won.
There's no real winners or losers.
But there is one person that's going to go home with a
laundry bag full of stuff
that I've assembled
from all you guys and from the good people
at the Toronto
International Film Festival
I've got tickets to
two tickets to see
The Day which is a movie
I saw last night that I enjoyed
it's going to be at 9.45 tomorrow night.
And that's one of the midnight movies.
Did one of you guys say you saw that one?
Yeah, I saw that one.
You saw that one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That guy Dominic Monaghan, Dominominin.
You know Dominominin from Lost?
He came up and said hello to me.
And you know what that means?
He's a pot smoker.
I have pot dar.
It's like
K-dar, but with weed.
And I know when people
smoke weed.
You brought this too?
Yeah, that's our first movie.
That's all I had left to bring with me today.
And how do you pronounce it?
Marantau?
That's actually exactly how you pronounce it.
Ah!
Boom!
So check that out.
I also got a copy of, they gave it to me and I read it.
So now I'm going to pay it forward, a copy of Tom Lennon and Robert Van Garant's book,
Writing Movies for Fun and Profit.
So that's in there.
We've got a couple of tickets to come back here
to Comedy Bar to see the Dark Comedy Festival
on Thursday, September 29th here in Toronto.
These tickets are valued at $10 a piece.
And Debra brought a copy of her CD
that's called Let's Be Honest.
$7.
Worth $7.
Retail for $7.
Well.
Very nice.
And, oh, I brought a sticker.
Big deal.
It says Potty Mouth on it.
And then, oh, wait.
Is that it?
Oh, no.
One more thing.
A Woot Monkey!
Yay!
Oh wait, is that it?
Oh no, one more thing.
A Woot Monkey!
Ben and Gary, they're like,
what the fuck is happening? Why?
Piñatas and monkeys?
Basically, the Woot Monkey
is something I give out
to somebody at every show.
The people, this company named Woot
sends them to me, and I always shoot one
into the crowd
and it makes this noise.
Yeah, so it's
an incredibly annoying toy.
You'll hear that noise
for the rest of its existence
until your family dog
tears it limb from limb.
Whoa.
Aim low.
Shoot it into my balls.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yay. Smelly got it.
Shelly. Shelly caught it.
She's not smelly. She's just Shelly. Shelly caught it. She's not smelly.
She's just Shelly.
Oh, wait. Where'd these come from?
The lady.
That was Rob Millay.
And say hi to everybody.
Hi, everybody.
Yeah, he's a comic here that helped me to put this together
and also contributed to the prize package
is four more tickets to see Kill List.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Thank you, lady.
And there's going to be one winner
that's going to get two sets of tickets at two different times.
So they can give away the other pair or they can see it twice.
Or not go.
What are you doing?
Wait.
Give it.
You've got to give it now.
You can't take it back.
But I'm sure somebody will get to go.
So that's what we're playing for.
So it's a nice price package.
So we can win this, can we?
No.
Tara is not going to sit still for this.
Now that her friend has a wood monkey,
she needs one too.
So she's counting on you then.
So I'm winning for the titfish lady.
This is the...
Oh, I see. And after your dog day afternoon shit, I'm on for the fish lady this is that this is I see and after your dog
the afternoon shit I'm on this one now
all right let's do it hi no this is hard I use my Leonard
Malton movie review app are you familiar with that film critic, Leonard Maltin?
Yes.
Yeah.
He doesn't like anything, does he?
He...
He's a little picky.
He has his own personal tastes.
I don't think violence is high up on his list of things to enjoy in a movie,
so he tends to either not...
He doesn't go to the horror movies like he gets his minions to go.
He used to go to the old ones, like the Frankenstein. Yeah, yeah, he likes that stuff. The James Earl stuff he likes, doesn't go to the horror movies. He gets his minions to go. He used to go to the old ones, like the Frankenstein.
Yeah, he likes that stuff.
The James Earl stuff he likes, doesn't he?
I remember that.
Yeah, he's very old school, and he loves Mickey Mouse and animation.
Porn as well.
Muttfuck, buttfuck, I remember him giving that a really high review.
Shitfreak, that one.
Big shit freak.
Thumb guzzlers five in there.
Five had in the back of a van.
You're the connoisseur.
I had to do a bit of research for coming on the show.
All right. So let's do it. I had to do a bit of research for coming on the show. Alright.
So let's do it.
Let's do the same thing
we did last time. We'll start with
since she has heard the podcast, we'll start down there
on Deb's end.
Deb, of course, is playing
for Meredith and my
decapitated head.
My head.
Smash it.
Smash that head.
You get to pick a category.
Would you like
this was suggested on Twitter by
Nerdpocalypse.
Would you like
sports stars?
That's a movie where a star of sports
appears in the movie.
Or, she gets three choices.
Or, at crystal
underscore M underscore K
suggested baby movies, and that's movies
where the word baby is in the title
of the film. So that could be
all sorts of different movies.
Or, celebrating a birthday today
9-16.
Today's 9-16, right?
Mickey Rourke. Fantastic.
So the films of Mickey Rourke is your
third option. 100 today.
I get to choose between sports, babies, and
creepy perverts. That's my check.
Three things.
Mickey Rourke doesn't always play a creepy pervert. No, he did not. things. Wait, Mickey Rourke doesn't always play creepy perverts.
No, he did not.
I'm going with Mickey Rourke, though.
Seriously.
That means you have to do sports with your baby suckers.
All right.
All right.
Here's what's going to happen.
We get them, do we?
Oh, fuck.
You're going to fuck me over again.
I'm going to tell everybody.
Everybody gets to hear this part.
You don't have to go into isolation booths.
tell everybody, everybody gets to hear this part. You don't have to go into isolation
booze.
I'm going to
or drink some isolation
booze.
I'm going to list off
several things about
this movie, the year that it came out,
how many stars Leonard Maltin
gave it on his scale of bomb to four.
And then I'm going to read a couple
snippets from the review that
do not help as clues
whatsoever.
And then I'm going to tell you how many names of actors
Leonard Maltin listed
participating in this movie.
And the trick is, you'll start bidding
on who can name it
in the least amount of names
reading from the bottom of the list up.
So, if there's like ten names and Debra starts the bidding, she can say I can name amount of names, reading from the bottom of the list up. So if there's like 10 names and Debra starts a bidding,
she can say, I can name an eight name, five, four.
And then we go from there.
You can steal.
You guys can steal.
Oh, we can steal as well?
No, you got to wait for it to come around to you.
Exactly.
We can't just jump in.
Don't just jump in.
Iron Man.
There'll be a point where it's very clear that it's someone's time to guess and then that's
when okay that's when when you can guess so don't yell out any more mickey rourke movies like body
heat all right deb okay two and a half stars from le Maltin for this movie that Mickey Rourke was in that came out in 2010.
So somebody might know it already.
Somebody may not know it.
So this is where the bidding is very important.
Let me tell you some things from the review.
He says about this movie that there's no shortage of action or incident.
Yeah, the word incident is in there.
And he also says that this movie is...
I don't want to give it away.
He says that it's...
It's without the freshness
yeah i'll say it's without the freshness and you'll be like what does that even mean
is it i know what it is is it for some is a whole movie about mints and um there he leonard lists and Leonard lists 13 names.
So, Deb starts off the bidding.
You say how many names you think you can get.
I think I know it.
It's just I'm going to be one of those jerks.
If you think you know it, you can say zero names.
But I can't. The title.
I know what it is.
You can see it in your mind's eye,
but you can't say it in words.
Which is a tricky position to it in your mind's eye, but you can't say it in words. Okay, so I'm going to say it's exactly it.
Which is a tricky position to be in in this game.
It's very difficult.
All right, I'm going to say I can probably do it in like three names, though.
Okay, she says three names.
So now, Ben, you can just say, name that movie,
and she'll have to name it after hearing the three names.
If she doesn't name it, you'll get the point,
and you'll be one point away from winning because it's a two-point game.
I get the point.
What about me?
Yeah.
Oh, you'll be in the game soon enough.
So just by pure luck of chairs,
I get a point.
It could be.
Well, if you think she can't get it in three names,
you can go lower.
You could bid two names.
None.
You say zero names.
Oh, boom.
Boom.
See?
Now Gareth gets to play and I don't think he wants to.
Because now you have to.
I was going to say zero as well.
Well, here's what you can do.
You can go negative names, which means if you say, yeah, right?
You're going to be telling him the wrong names now.
If you say negative one, then you'd have to name the movie and the top billed person in the movie.
And if you say negative two,
then you have to do them in the right order
from the top.
You're making this up as you go along, aren't you?
It's very complicated, but they know.
The audience gets it.
So if I say negative one?
So yeah, you could say negative one if you want.
I'll have to do two then. And then you'll say negative one if you want. I'll go negative two then.
And then you'll say the title of the movie
and the top bill of the performer.
If you go negative one.
But then it goes to Deb.
She can go even lower if you do that.
I can go all the way.
Hang on.
Come on, Deb.
Are you saying negative one, Gary?
Are you saying negative one?
I'm saying negative one,
but he's going to jump in.
He's saying negative one.
I'm going to say name that movie.
Okay, so name the movie and then the top bill. I've thrown down. So he can't come in with negative two, right? He that he's won. I'm going to say name that movie. Okay, so you name the movie
and then the top billed person.
I've thrown down.
So he can't come in
with that movie, right?
He can't do anything.
So basically I let you win
is what I'm saying.
He's out.
He's out.
I'm sorry.
It's all up to you.
Is it Killshot?
And is it Mickey Rock
top billed?
Obviously.
Did I just let this guy
win that with that?
What the fuck?
No, you get the point
because...
Yes!
Oh, victory is mine. Isn't it that... mine the movie Ben almost got it the movies Iron Man 2
I wouldn't minus 2 come on why didn't I get the minus 2 that's not what I
thought it was by the way at all no that's the fun thing when people start
going negative names
They don't even have the right movie
It's a lot of negotiation over nothing
I love it
I'm winning though basically is what you're saying
Sorry Sean
Meredith we're winning
It's exciting
But Ben gets to pick the next category
Out of those two shit categories
Oh no I got three new shit categories.
Oh yeah!
I got shit categories coming out of my
shithole.
Here they come.
You won't like these either.
Peter Falk
would be celebrating
a birthday
if he didn't die
a few weeks ago
so what
he was great
I love that guy
he's celebrating
his birthday
yeah
he's celebrating
in heaven
he's setting up
his own screenings
of
of Kill List
and The Raid
in heaven
yeah I like those movies
just one more thing
just one more thing about movies. Just one more thing. Just one more thing
about those movies.
Just one more of those movies.
Just one more thing.
All right,
so this might be
a hot topic for you then.
Peter Falk movies
or O Canada.
That's movies
that were shot here
in beautiful Canada.
And
at Stephen Kendrick Jr.
suggested
what?
Oh, I get it.
I get it.
Magnificent Andersons.
That's films by either
P.T. or Wes Anderson.
Oh, that's a fun one.
So, Peter Fogg, Canada,
or the Andersons.
Which one would you like, Ben?
What?
Why me?
I mean, I'd like to go folk
just to see, you know,
how deep you're going to go
with the folk question.
I also like how you pronounce it.
But I'll go...
The Anderson things
are probably easier.
You think it'll be easier?
shit yeah
yeah you're probably right
we'll see
you get to pick
I mean you get to be the first bidder
I'll give you all the clues
and then you'll bid first
so what's the answer yes or no
shit Anderson or good Anderson
or is it
what is it
wait a second
I wonder who's shit Anderson or good Anderson or is it? What is it? Wait a second.
I wonder who's shit Anderson
and who's good Anderson
from what we know about Ben.
I'm going to guess that you think
Wes is the shitty one.
No, no way.
PT is shitty?
Yeah.
Boo.
Oh no, I've got the wrong Anderson.
I was thinking about the guy who did Death Race.
That's Paul W.S. Anderson.
Paul W.S.
You should have done it three, the three Anderson.
I didn't want to include that one because that one is the shitty one.
You should have done it three Anderson.
I didn't want to include that one, because that one is the shitty one.
But no matter what you think,
Wes Anderson and P.T. Anderson have had missteps. Even if you're a fan,
you might not like something that they've done.
I thought it was crazy that you would
totally hate one or the other of those.
They were both brilliant.
There we go.
I love their films.
This movie is from 1996.
Leonard gives it two and a half stars.
Should probably do better than that or more than that, but whatever.
Whatever.
He says about this movie that it's original and low-key and that it has engaging performances.
And like I said, it's from 1996, two and a half stars,
and Leonard lists eight names.
So how many names do you think it would take for you to guess the name of the movie, Ben?
None.
He says zero names
on a 96 movie by
Wes or P.T. Anderson. Now we go to
Debra.
1996? I was so
young then.
Don't try to help her.
Gareth, do you know it?
Well, hey, you can.
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm trying to gang up. See what I did there?
Is this how you play poker?
He does know it
what do you have
what do you have
can we put something together
I don't want to end it yet
but I'm going to say
because I can't guess
because I don't know it
so I want to say
name that
name the movie
alright
so you think he's going to blow it
and then you're going to
no I so don't know it
alright so you get three names Ben
yeah
bottle rocket
okay you don't get three names
it's bottle rocket
whoa
whoa yes that was good come on Uh, Bottle Rocket. Okay, you don't get three names. It's Bottle Rocket. Whoa! Whoa!
Yes!
That was good.
Come on.
What was your fault question?
Nice!
What was your fault question?
What do you mean?
What's your Peter Falk question?
Yeah, I want to know that one.
Oh, what would the answer have been?
I'll tell you later.
What's the question?
That category might come up again,
so I'll tell you later.
Oh, come on.
Because you got the point on this one so bridges of
Remington what's that it's the answer I've never even heard of that movie Christ what you haven't
Peter Fox in it I went with the different answer than a different movie.
I went with a different movie.
So where are we at?
Meredith has one and
tit boob. No, fish boob. Fish tit.
So Debra
playing for a piñata head
has
piñata head and fish tit.
Thursday nights this fall on
NBC. Pinata Headed Fish Tit Thursday nights this fall on NBC
Okay so this time we get to start with
Gareth you get to start
since you didn't get involved in that last
match up and then
from there we go to
Debra
Debra
Way to pay attention audience Somebody has to to... Debra.
Way to pay attention, audience.
Somebody has to.
The clue is in the chairs.
It gets
so confusing.
Here are your category options, Gareth.
Summer blockbusters, that's blockbuster
movies that came out during a summer.
Hold Me,
that's movies where
there's some sort of hostage situation.
And
at Bobby Lester suggested
Faux Real,
which is movies that are
about real life events.
F-A-U-X.
Real.
So which one of those would you like, Gareth?
Hold Me. That's not a request by the way.
It's an intense game
but I think you'll be fine.
Without the
extra comfort.
Deb's a great hugger.
She'll hug you whether you win or lose.
Whether I want to or not.
A lot of forced hugging. She's a forced hugger.
Two and a half stars from Leonard Maldon for this movie
that has some sort of hostage situation in it.
It's really vague, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Here's some more vague clues.
He calls this movie old-fashioned.
And he also says it's exceptionally noisy.
Two and a half stars.
Old-fashioned noises.
From 1985.
There's some sort of hostage situation in it.
And there are 11 names, I think.
I was five years old when this came out.
11 names.
Yeah, I try to pick
pretty well-known movies,
but you never know.
With eleven names,
you can start off
with a really high bid,
like eleven names,
and put it on Deborah
to worry about
what happens next.
If you have no idea.
Clues are terrible.
I can't imagine
anyone would know
the answer from all of that.
I'll have to go for four names.
Sorry, Sean, I'm fucked on this one.
Still, a ballsy bid.
Yeah.
Under the circumstances.
I think you should get a cupcake.
Those look amazing.
Those look so good, I want to stomp on them.
Smash them.
Smash them.
I want to fuck those cupcakes.
Alright, Debra.
Four names coming around to you.
I can... In three names.
I can't.
Why are you telling Ben that you can't?
I don't know. He can see it in my eyes.
You can see it. He's got a death stare.
I can't see it.
Yeah, she says three. So you could say name it
and if she fails, you'll get the point.
Oh yeah, name it.
Oh, son of a bitch.
Okay, what were the clues again?
Okay, hostage, 1985.
Ransom.
Yeah, there's some sort of...
No, it's not ransom.
1985?
That's a whole movie about a hostage situation.
And it was exceedingly noisy.
Yeah.
But also old-fashioned.
And it's also old-fashioned.
It's got a hostage situation of some kind.
And there's two and a half stars.
1985?
It's the worst clue.
And... Just forget the hostage part
okay
don't even think hostage
no hostage
just think
1985
no I know what it is
and it's old fashioned
and noisy
yeah
and the three names are
yeah
and people in the audience
don't yell out
because we will hear
an audible gasp
when I say these three names
the three names are
Joe Pantoliano
Ann Ramsey, and
John Matuszak.
Oh, shit.
Do you know
what from that? That means nothing to you, Debra?
No.
No.
Should I know that?
Overboard?
So she loses if she doesn't know it.
Okay, no, I have to.
I don't know.
Yeah, you can't even guess.
I have no guess.
It's also on Ring of Bell.
Do you know who Joe Pantoliano is?
I do.
I'm going to say.
I think I know it.
Do you know who Ann Ramsey is?
No.
How about John Matuszak?
No.
What was?
I'm going to throw down.
That one would really help if she knew that.
The timing is way off.
The only standalone movie I can think of is Bound is way off but I'm like fuck the only
the only standalone movie
I can think of is
Bound
remember that
Bound
yeah that was good
yeah with Gina Gershon
yeah it was good
is that what you thought
that's not wrong
that's totally wrong
it's a good movie though
but good try
at least you named a movie
that has Joey Pants in it
thank you
there we go
but Gareth just for fun
what are you thinking
you call him Joey Pants
I think
it doesn't feel like
a hostage movie at all.
Oh, there's a hostage situation.
I'll tell you when you tell me the name of the movie.
Is it The Goonies?
Yeah, yeah.
Stop it!
Stop it!
Oh, my God!
Nice.
Come on.
Do I get a point?
Joe Pantoliano and Ann Ramsey take Chunk hostage,
and they hold him, and then he develops a friendship with John Matusak.
Is Ann Ramsey the one that talks like that?
She's throw Mama
from the train.
Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's so dead.
No, no.
It was fun
that you guessed it though.
Yeah, that was fun.
That's nice.
No, actually
Ben got two points
so Ben's our winner
of the whole thing.
Hey!
Yes!
Strictly not a hostage
for him though.
Come on.
He did it.
Wow.
Where is...
I've done that in 11 names.
Oh, oh, Titfish is right there.
Hey, and if you've seen Titfish,
don't tell anybody the twist.
In Titfish.
There you go.
Congratulations.
You want your Titfish back?
She's got to wear that later.
No worries.
My pleasure.
Look at this shit.
That's crazy.
What are you yelling?
Oh, smash it.
No, I couldn't do that.
That would be hilarious though.
I mean, you didn't actually make these yourself.
Like, if you made them and brought them
and I stepped on them, that'd be the funniest thing.
But you just got them from a store,
so you'd just shrug if I stepped on them, right?
You wouldn't care.
Plus, I'm not Gallagher.
I'm not going to make a big mess up here.
I might eat one of those, though.
Oh, my God.
Jenny, you guys want one?
They look nice.
No? No takers? Alright.
They're fun to look at.
Or you know what? I'll throw them into the crowd.
Overhand.
I'm gonna pitch
cupcakes at you.
Welcome to the show, monkeys.
Alright, so Sean sean i got your shithead here but i need uh i need the person pinata head to step forward and share the uh who they want me to call a shithead and um we should say once
again that uh there's a couple opportunities to see kill List. I've got to go right down right there.
A couple opportunities to see Kill List
at the Toronto International Film Festival.
Tomorrow night at midnight at the Ryerson
as part of Midnight Madness.
And on Sunday afternoon at 3.15,
I forget which venue, but just look at a guide.
It's always good to see it about 3 o'clock.
The earlier, the better.
A morning show. Sets The earlier, the better.
A morning show.
Sets you up for the day.
They should have movies that are really violent here start at 4.30,
so at least you could be really high.
Get high at 4.20 and then watch it.
But let's, just for fun,
I got a couple more minutes left.
Do you want to play the Peter Falk category
and see how you do? Yeah, man. Bring it. Oh, yeah. just for fun, I got a couple more minutes left. Let's, do you want to play the Peter Falk category
and see how you do?
Yeah,
man.
Wings of desire.
You'd love to pre-guess.
That's why you're a director.
You can't just sit there and do what you're told.
You gotta be in charge of the shit.
Husbands.
That too.
Okay, that's
not a correct answer, but
another Peter Falk movie.
This one is from 2001.
Leonard Maltin
gives it three stars.
He calls this movie
it's a whole lot funnier than many bigger movie comedies.
And he also says that Bud Cort appears unbilled.
I think he was billed in Harold and Maude, ma'am.
Right next to that old lady. I think he was billed in Harold and Maude, man.
Right next to that old lady.
So three stars, and the year is 2001, and there are nine names.
So how many names do you think you can get it in?
Hot shot.
Pop quiz, Ben Wheatley.
I'll go five.
Five names. And then this time
We go to
Gareth
Six
Even after playing
For a while
That's smart strategy
Debra
I'm kidding
I'm kidding
I'm kidding
Name it
She says
Name it with six
No he was joking
Are you naming it Are you throwing it Debra No I haven't got Name it. She says name it with six. No, he was joking. Are you naming it?
Are you throwing it?
Debra.
No, I haven't got a fucking clue.
He says...
How many did you say, Ben?
You said five.
I said five.
Yeah, and so then his answer is a joke.
You can't say six.
That's more names.
Well, they're not from here.
You don't know.
Canadians are so exceedingly polite
that she was going to let him go with six names.
Yeah, go ahead.
Take all the names.
Strictly, no one actually told us all the rules,
so you could do that.
It's true.
Believe me, if someone had told you all the rules,
you'd still be sitting there going,
what is happening?
Still trying to figure it out.
You learn by playing.
It's kind of like sex
life
it's like life
chess
chess maybe
you can't just have someone
explain all of chess to you
and then sit down
and know what you're doing
I think you do
no you gotta sit there
and play it
yeah
you gotta move the pieces around
get the feel of it
it's a horse.
It can run straight.
It's a bishop.
It can just jump around.
I want to stab my horse's
eyes out. Can I do that?
What if I just flip the board over?
Is that a move?
We still need a legitimate bid from Gareth.
We gotta go lower than five.
Name it, yeah?
Oh, he says name it.
I really haven't got a clue.
All right, so you're getting some names.
Columbo.
You get five names.
The mystery of the Columbo movie.
Episode 700 of Columbo.
Directed by Steven Spielberg.
Your five names are
Jonathan Silverman,
Vincent Pastore,
Faison Love,
Sean Puffy Combs,
and
I added the Puffy
it just says Sean Combs
and Peter Falk
so there's three people
that are billed above
Peter Falk
in this movie
from 2001
it's that one about
the Notorious B.I.G.
isn't it
I don't believe
Peter Falk was in
a Notorious B.I.G. movie
he played Tupac
didn't he?
No, Peter Fogg was in Notorious O-N-E-I.
Just one more thing.
So you have any idea?
Fuck, no, no, no.
Does somebody in the audience know it?
Made is correct.
Who's the first person that said that?
Come get a cupcake.
That's the new game. It's the person person that said that? Come get a cupcake. That's the new game.
It's the person in the audience that knows that gets a cupcake.
Hang on. He hasn't
said what it is yet.
Which one would you like? That one looks like
it's got some sort of flavor
to it.
Coconut always looks better than it tastes.
When you're looking at it, you're like, that's going to be great.
Two bites in here.
There's one with the salmon on top, which I don't like the look of.
Salmon?
Yeah, the pink one.
Oh.
Isn't that salmon?
Yeah, yeah.
It's like a pate cupcake.
It's like a meat cake.
It's disgusting.
All right. it's like a meat cake it's disgusting alright so you guys have anything you want to plug before we wrap this thing up
Debra you got any shows coming up
that the listeners might be interested in coming out
I'm going on a tour
a little bit of a tour
it's mainly Ontario but I'll be in Montreal
at the end of this month
at the Comedy Works and then
I'm doing the Edmonton Comedy Festival in the end of this month at the Comedy Works. And then I'm doing the Edmonton Comedy
Festival in
October. End of October.
Then I'll be in Calgary at the last weekend of
October. And then the tour starts. I'm going to
London, Ontario, Toronto,
Ottawa, and Brockville.
So you can go and check it out on the website.
Brockville, right?
On a 10 big.
DebraDG.com you can find us
or Facebook or Twitter
whatever we want to do
whatever we want to do
whatever you want to do
live your life
what should we do
with that pinata head
what do you think
I think you should
throw down
can we smash it
is it okay
are you alright
with that Meredith
she'll let us
I say really
just
oh look at
whoa
do it I don't know I don't know oh my god it looks heavy duty I say really just... Oh, look at... Whoa.
Do it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It looks heavy duty.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that.
I was thinking I'd just smash it against the ground.
Yeah.
Or against the lip of the stage right here.
Uh-oh, here we go.
I'd cover your face.
Like American History X.
Oh!
Oh, my God. Oh, History X. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
That was upsetting.
Oh, it's good candy though, everybody.
It's good candy, you guys.
Seriously.
It's Halloween up in here.
Here we go.
Watch your heads.
All right.
Tossing candy to the audience.
Thank you, Meredith.
Hey, hey.
Go see Kill List in the raid.
It's like this, but instead of candy, it's brains.
It's other things that are flying around
yeah
I've seen someone get the hook
but I've never seen the hook
getting the hook
no overhand
when do you think,
do you guys think,
do you have like a trajectory
of when people might be able
to see your films?
Hopefully sometime early next year.
It'll open here in Canada,
hopefully.
So, fingers crossed.
All right.
Did you get some?
There you go.
Oh, I forgot.
Can I say something else?
Sure.
I recorded my first DVD
and it's called Single Awkward Female.
It'll be out.
That is fantastic.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, please.
Are you taking pictures of this, everybody?
Put the lotion in the basket.
I'm going to have a bad dream tonight, I think.
I should walk around with this on
and murder people with that weird little hook.
That would work so well on a podcast.
That is creepy.
Yeah, there's a lot of...
I slip a lot of visual humor in.
But the listeners are really going to appreciate.
Ooh, Smarties.
Ooh.
See, we get little
crispy crunches and stuff.
You guys can just
come get some, you know.
You don't have to sit there
all polite like a bunch
of fucking Canadians.
And now the attack.
Did you say when
we could see your film, Ben?
In the first part of next year, I think.
Awesome.
Also, my first film is available at Poundland for a pound.
But it might cost you $800 to get over to England to buy it.
So it's not a massive bargain, but I believe it's available on the Tintinet.
Fair enough.
All right, you guys.
Thank you.
Let's have another round of applause for my guests.
Thank you.
Gareth Evans, Ben Weedley,
Debra DiGiovanni.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Well done, everybody.
We did it.
And I want you guys to pose
for a picture right after I say my
closing line for the show. Thank you so
much to the audience here at Comedy Bar
for coming out, and I'll see some of you tomorrow
night, maybe.
Yay.
And as always, Rob
Ford is a shithead.
I should have said that one second.
I should have closed with that one.
I don't know what the hell I'm saying.
This one's not going to get nearly the round of applause.
I'd be really surprised if it did
Catherine Keener is a shithead
now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky
there's no room in his heart for you
cause Doug loves movies