Doug Loves Movies - Demi Adejuyigbe, Matt Braunger and Rosa Salazar guest
Episode Date: April 12, 2017Live from NerdMelt in Hollywood, Doug welcomes Demi Adejuyigbe, Matt Braunger and Rosa Salazar to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at h...ttps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky
seeds with 50 azepop
or kernels in his teeth.
They're still not warm that
he won't see.
Because Doug loves
movies.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug and...
I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Excellent.
Coming to you once again from the nerd melt showroom at meltdown comics
it's the hot spot for all the crickets in town they love to come out yeah please have a seat
there in the front row but of course uh that awesome hair of yours uh maybe you should borrow his hat so the people behind you can see.
We're in Los Angeles, cricket capital of the world.
It's Tuesday, April 11th, 2017.
This is our 22nd show this year.
And we're 206 days from Thor Ragnarok.
That's right. I'm going to count it down.
I'm so excited
to be excited about a Thor movie.
I can't even tell you.
What's the
name tag situation tonight?
There's an interesting one over there that's on a box
and it
says T-Over?
What movie is that based on the hangover and you just shorted to t over and your name is teo teo all right good job dude
what's this in the front row it's a a fifth element situation. What's your name? The Christy element?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just need you to confirm or deny.
All right.
Well, this is interesting.
Oh, you got one lighting up over there.
That always gets my attention.
It's something about Jessica Brock.
Planes, Lego trains, about Jessica Brock planes, lego trains and Jessica Brock
and it's you and me
sitting on the tarmac
with an airplane
just like John Candy and Steve Martin
let's make that happen
let's do a remake
but thank you to everyone who brought name tags
and everyone for being here
We have three shows here this week
Doug Plugs
Tomorrow night
Tonight if you're listening to this
Tomorrow
If you're listening to this on April 12th
It's tonight I'm doing stand up
At the San Jose Improv
Bring your name tags to play
Last Man Stanton.
And then Doug Loves Movies is back here this Saturday at 4.20.
And what time does the tax march end?
Does anybody know?
Like, it doesn't go all to 4.20, right?
People who march do it early.
They do it in the morning, and then it's like around noon they break for lunch.
I don't know how the tax march works, but I encourage people to participate in it.
But we have to do a show at 420, and I'm expecting an intimate turnout.
But I don't even think the crickets will be here,
because we don't seem to have a problem with them in the daytime.
be here because we don't seem to have a problem with them in the
daytime.
And if you're anywhere near San Juan
Capistrano, come to the
Coach House for Getting Doug With High
on April 20th at 8pm.
Nashville, Austin,
Rosemont, Illinois, Denver,
Colorado, San Antonio dates
all coming up soon.
And just be sure to check DougLovesMovies.com
That's DougLovesMovies.com that's douglovesmovies.com
oh my god you guys are good
let's check the prize bag
lots of fun stuff
in this one
I think
a douglovesmovies t-shirt
a sippy cup from one of the
Broadway shows that I saw
when I ordered some vodka and they
give it to you in a weird cup. What is this? Oh, this is neat. I saw a thing at Radio City
Music Hall. This is a Radio City Music Hall swizzler, cocktail swizzle that says Radio
City on it.
Oh, another shirt.
This is a t-shirt for the motion picture earbuds,
the podcasting documentary,
which is available somewhere.
Oh, iTunes gift cards.
You could buy,
I think it's for like 10 bucks or something,
so you could buy like five episodes of premium episodes of Doug Lowe's movies
in the comedy album section of iTunes.
An album you can get off of iTunes called Promotional Tool,
but there's a hard copy.
A ceramic cigarette, you know, that's actually, you can put weed in it.
And a rubber pipe from Peacemaker
all of that is in the bag
plus stuff brought by my guests
please give a big warm welcome
to Rosa Salazar, Matt
Bronger, and Demi Adigiebe
applause
applause
applause applause applause Hey, you guys.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
What's going on?
Good.
Oh, okay.
I love conversations like that when somebody says to you, what's up? And you go, good. Great Good. Oh, okay. I love conversations like that
when somebody says to you,
what's up?
And you go, good.
Great.
All right, man.
I don't know.
We all know what you're really asking.
How am I?
How are you?
I'm good.
It's Rosa Salazar, everybody.
I just want it to sound like
a lot of people are wooing
on the pod.
You're visiting from Africa?
Cape Town.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Wait, you don't live here?
No, I live here.
But she was there and is home for a few days,
and then you're going back.
Yeah, I'm going back for a month.
I'm shooting Maze Runner 3, the death cure.
We're curing death.
About time someone got to that.
I know, it's me.
Is this the first Maze Runner?
It's good to know.
Is this the first Maze Runner
that you shot in Africa?
Yeah, it's the first time
I've been to Africa.
So second Maze Runner,
you went out into the scorch.
I just love that expression.
Especially when,
what's his name,
Aiden Gillen, when he says it.
You're not going to survive out in the scorch.
Scorch.
And so, so now is this, is Africa,
are you shooting there?
Because part three is even scorchier.
It's the scorchiest level of the Maze Runner.
No, I think.
I really wanted to say yeah.
You like saying scorched, but it's not.
That's where they found the death cure.
Yep.
Oh, really?
And that's where they found that epic tax incentive.
Right.
Oh, okay.
In South Africa.
In South Africa.
All right.
Yeah.
So why did you come home for a few days?
Just to get out of Africa, as we like to say, if we love movies?
I came to do Doug Loves Movies.
No, you didn't.
That's a weird reason to leave Africa.
You could have gone on a safari.
It's just a 23-hour flight.
It's not an expensive or long flight.
Yeah.
You can listen to 20 Doug Loves Movies on the flight back.
I saw 20 movies on the flight. Hey. So I'm ready. Yeah. You can listen to 20 Doug Loves movies on the flight back. I saw 20 movies on the flight.
Hey.
So I'm ready.
Okay.
So you feel like you've studied for this.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll see how you do.
But I enjoyed your work in and was sad that you were in Africa and couldn't be here for
the premiere of it in the movie Chips.
Chips.
Yeah. Yeah. You're walking around all badass
in your uniform.
I got into a car accident
about a month after
I finished shooting that and when the
Highway Patrol guy
came on his bike, I was like, showing him all the
pictures on my phone. Look, I'm in Chips!
I'm one of y'all.
I didn't even do
anything wrong.
I was just in shock.
He like showed up
and he was like,
hey, I was like,
I wore that outfit
once in a movie.
And he did one of these.
He like patted me.
He was like, it's okay.
Yeah, it worked.
It got you out of,
you weren't in trouble
in the first place.
And it got you out of that
not trouble you were in.
I think it's just a reflex
from when I was young and smoked weed and ran from cops.
Oh, okay.
I was just like, I was in a movie.
I looked like you.
Now you smoke weed and run to cops?
Yeah.
Totally California, of course.
Show my camera roll.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, let's meet our other guests that we have here this evening.
Demi DiGibe is here, everybody.
Hi, everybody.
Doug, it's nice to be back.
You're such a popular guest on the show.
You can come on any time you want.
Any time you got a project to promote,
like if you're going to do a series
where you break down each episode of Bunheads.
That'd be ludicrous.
You could.
That'd be something that people would write in
to tell us not to do, maybe as we're doing it.
But how do you follow up Gilmore Guys?
Because that was a sensation,
and you talked about all the episodes.
We did.
So now what?
We decided to do the show she did afterwards, Bunheads.
And then we decided to do the pilot.
To stop doing Bunheads?
Well, we should have.
Because I just suggested it and you acted like it was a bad idea.
It is a bad idea.
And the only reason I suggested it is because I thought you actually did it.
We're still doing it, Doug.
It's not going great.
People don't like Bunhead guys?
No.
They like the podcast. I don't think they like the show don't like Bunhead guys? No. They like the podcast.
I don't think they like the show.
What about Bunhead dudes?
I have pitched multiple names.
One of, well, none of them makes sense,
because you have to know that the town that Bunheads takes place in
is called Paradise, and I pitched a title,
Two Nitwits in Paradise, which are we are the nitwits.
Oh, I like that.
Thank you.
It takes a lot of explaining, though, so.
Why can't you?
It almost rhymes with tickets. It almost. To Paradise. I like a lot of explaining, though, so. Why can't you? It almost rhymes with tickets.
It almost.
To paradise.
It sounds just.
I like how it doesn't, though.
Right.
Why not just move on to the new Sutton Foster show, Younger?
Because we, I want to stop is part of the reason.
But people want to hear from the Gilmore guys.
They do.
So you got to figure out an angle.
That's what you're saying.
You got to figure out what you're gonna do yeah we we did uh so amy sherman paladino who created gilmore girls also
did the pilot did a pilot on amazon recently called the marvelous simpsons mazel and we covered
that episode just for fun we're not going to cover the whole series but we covered that episode and
we're like this is a really really good show so that's fun. Why not do that series then? I feel like I'm not so interested in doing a thing every week
where I just go like, I didn't like this TV show.
And I'd rather just go back to being cynical and private
and just telling people only when I like things
and not spending three hours to be like, it was bad.
All right, I get it.
You want to get off the grid.
I do.
Are you plugging
like the end of your...
Yes.
I'm here to promote
that you don't listen
to our podcast.
Is there going to be
more Bunheads?
Like, has it gotten picked up?
No.
How many seasons
were there of Bunheads?
There was one season
of 18 episodes.
Back in 2012, we've done 12 episodes oh
so six more six to go light at the end of the tunnel and then i will walk into the sea
it's fine i'll resurface in another 10 years and she's like more gilmore girls and i'll be like
okay it's time to rise because they might do more of those for Netflix, yay? Yeah, I don't think they will, but they might.
Yeah, okay.
It's an option.
Yeah, I like your outlook.
I come on this show to plug Amy Sherman Palladino's shows.
If she did something else, would you...
Oh, she did do something else.
She did.
Okay.
I'll watch them.
I give up.
I'm not going to force you to make something
that I'm not going to listen to anyway.
Oh, shit.
Do whatever you want.
You just said Bunheads
like 50 times.
Because I...
You said Bunheads
more than anyone
has said Bunheads
in the last year.
I tried to get into Bunheads
because it's Amy Sherman
Papadippo and it's...
And I'm a big fan
of Sutton Foster
but I just could not hang
with this show where...
Papadippo is almost as fun to say as Bunheads.
Bunheads is great.
I don't even know what the fuck this show is.
It's just called Bunheads because...
Ballerina.
Ladies who ballerina have a bun on their head.
I'm genuinely impressed with the name.
It's the worst dudes in Silver Lake.
Thanks, everybody.
I'm gonna get out of here on that one.
Bunheads in Scorch.
Doug was on our podcast.
You can listen to that.
That's fun. Bunheads in Scorch bun heads. That's fun.
Bun heads in the scorch.
Okay.
That's a better title.
Hot cross bun heads?
Where are we going?
I don't know.
Don't do punch up on the show.
We've already done 12 episodes.
What if you just call it bun guns?
Bun guns.
Like young guns.
God, that's good.
I wish you guys had said all of this
before we did over two-thirds of the show.
I would bet $100 Bun Guns already exists as the porn version of Young Guns.
I would bet $100.
You watched it.
That's why you're betting $100.
I was in it.
Come on.
He's betting to get that money back.
I'm for sure.
Please bet me.
I'm totally going to introduce the third guest at some point.
It's Matt Bronger, everybody.
Thanks, everybody.
But speaking of fun titles that don't have to be changed,
his podcast is called Ding Donger with Matt Bronger.
That's right.
It's a very serious title.
I dare say it's the most fun podcast title to say.
It's a good time to say.
Yeah.
And what else is going on, buddy?
We got Bridgetown Comedy Festival coming to Portland, Oregon for the 10th anniversary.
Oh, shit.
First week in May.
Massive festival.
Yeah.
And I'm going to record my new special there.
Friday and Saturday at 7 o'clock at the Paris Theater.
So come through.
Does the special
have a title yet?
Nope.
Nothing.
I like it.
Okay.
Just sit back.
Just nope, nothing?
Yeah.
And just wait,
you know,
tape the thing,
see what the vibe was.
Yeah.
This show sucked
is a good title
if it doesn't work out.
Yes.
I kind of wish
you would have been like,
this show sucked
is a good title.
All right,
let's get the game started
Just shit on me
Let the games begin
Hey man
But that's cool
What's the venue
that you're gonna be in?
It's called the Paris
It used to be a porn theater
and they renovated it
Now it's a historical venue
That's Portland, Oregon
Well it's great
because when you're
In a nutshell
They had a sign outside
that said no longer
a jack shack
a month ago
which I found enchanting.
There are less walkouts when people's shoes stick to the floor.
So you're going to have a great show, I think.
It's going to be terrific.
That's the theater where they shot Bun Guns, right?
That is where we shot Bun Guns.
Where you, I'm sorry.
I actually, when that came out, Young Guns came out,
I was probably like seven.
So I was only in the movie.
I walked into Paris and went, what are they doing?
Like in a cowboy accent.
And then they, get out of here, son.
And then they kept drilling each other.
And that was, I don't know why they let a kid
in a porn movie anyway.
It was really disturbing.
Gotta reach different demographics.
People want to see themselves represented.
Yeah.
Yo, that looks like a suicide note.
Oh, look at my...
Doug's got some Zodiac scrawlings
pulling out of his pocket.
You guys have been on the show before.
You've listened to other comedians make fun of it.
Yeah.
It's like R. Crumb's Crazy Brother.
I write everything I want to say and do
as written down on this piece of paper,
including the following question.
Rosa, what'd you bring for the prize bag?
Wait, you know what?
Yours is the best.
I'm going to come to you last.
Let's start with Matt.
What do you have for the prize bag, Matt?
Start with me.
I like what you brought.
Thanks, buddy.
Subtle diss, though.
Hear my face when I'm talking?
Do it.
I'll unwrap it in a second, but it's a cool
poster. I used to do this Christmas show
once a year with Ian Carmel and Ron Funches
and it's us as angels painted on the
poster, so it's a lot of fun.
It's beautiful.
But apparently it's got a angels painted on the poster. So it's a lot of fun. It's beautiful. It's really, but apparently it's got a rubber band on it.
I couldn't find a rubber band, so I used scotch tape.
Oh, it's tape?
Oh, no.
That's why it's taking me so long.
So I've learned it for you guys.
Fix this in post.
All right.
Well, I'm also going to, I realized recently
that if I make cricket noises into the microphone
the crickets stop
and I want to try it again
because maybe
it was just coincidence
that they all
got laid
and didn't need
to cricket anymore
what if that stimulates
their fucking
they're like yes
this is porn to us
I think it shuts them down
because they're like
who's this hot sounding cricket that's not real?
Okay, I got it open.
There it is.
Oh, it's beautiful!
That actually is really good.
All right, did anybody bring some scotch tape
so we can close it back up?
It's okay.
Didn't want to get crushed in the car.
All right.
Here we go.
Demi, what do you got for us?
I brought...
You brought some stuff.
My root beer tipped over.
You're not messing around.
Okay.
I brought a shirt from my now defunct podcast, Gilmore Guys, featuring me and my podcast
partner on it.
I brought a copy of Stephen King's The Gunslinger
because I accidentally bought two and
about ten pages in I realized
I should have bought zero.
I don't like it.
And then I
brought this pin that someone gave
me, Gilmore Girls pin that says tie your
tubes idiot, which is one of the best
lines from the show and then I brought
South Africa and it's a
pair of ovaries if I'm not mistaken
this little pin is a really cool
pin you'll love it and then
speaking of South Africa I brought what is probably
one of the most important pieces of South African cinema
ever made Chippy
Chippy
I love Chippy
on Blu-ray
do we get to keep the lovely Trader Joe's bag Chippy. Oh, Chippy. I love Chippy. Chippy. On Blu-ray. Chippy had a book.
And do we get to keep the lovely Trader Joe's bag?
I spilled it again.
You can keep the bag.
It's a Trader Joe's bag that has fruits on it to remind you what fruits look like.
And then I also, because I felt bad about pretty much just bringing stuff I wanted to get rid of,
I brought donuts.
Donuts.
Jesus Christ.
You don't have to tell us.
People usually don't bring donuts for the prize bag.
That's an interesting twist.
Throw them in.
Yeah, I'm going to open the box and just toss it into the prize bag.
No.
Wait, it's not any.
It's 19 minutes after the hour, which means it's almost 420 somewhere.
I was like, is that a timer to say it's 840?
Okay, 420 times two?
Thank you.
But that is really terrific stuff you brought.
Thank you.
This is the most quiet, huge crowd.
That sounded like a dying robot monster.
Just one thing.
Not a crowd.
It was like...
Well, he's not long for the earth.
That Robrox.
Goodbye, Robrox.
I will never forget you.
Avenge me!
Rosa, what do you have for the bag? I 1,000%
didn't forget.
And I went to Gelson's.
And I picked up
a gallon
of pH water. Just to neutralize
the pH balance.
The acidity versus alkaline in your body you probably
eat a lot of acidic foods probably drink a lot of acidic beverages this has a 9 to 10 ph stable
is it's alkaline water as i said you can't get this stuff in africa i know that
and on it it says I love my true.
It's called Alcatru.
And for some lucky person, they're going to be very hydrated.
Their pH balance is going to be neutralized.
You're doing an ad for water.
Hashtag sponsor true Alcatru.
It's called what?
Alpha or Alcatru?
Alcatru.
Like true alcohol?
Like Alcatraz?
I'm joking. Alcatraz water. Youru. Like true alcohol? Like Alcatraz? Alcatraz. You're gonna damage
the pin. It's in the
other bag. I switched it up.
That's fine. You can wash
down the donuts with a gallon of water. You can get it
at Gelson's, at Albertson.
For dipping the donuts.
So I thought that for some reason you
brought that, but you went to
Gelson's, had a choice of things to buy,
and decided a gallon of water.
There's no booing to healthy bodies.
I'm not booing you.
I think that's a thing that people can use.
How is that robot monster not dead?
After you're done reading your comics and jerking off,
you can hydrate back up with a gallon of Alcatru.
Why did you look me dead in my eyes when you said that?
Jerking off.
She said it very pointedly.
We haven't forgotten.
Now that you're,
when you're done with your comics and you're,
I thought that was a dream.
You could buy it at Galston's or Lassen's.
Both great places to get water.
Yeah.
Well, whoever wins the prize bag is just a lucky fool.
Like, with these donuts and this water,
I'd say go ahead and just start walking across America.
Yeah.
You're set for at least a day or two.
I have some questions for all three of you,
if you don't mind asking.
I really want people to open up on the show. Just tell us how you really feel. I have some questions for all three of you, if you don't mind asking.
I really want people to open up on the show.
Just tell us how you really feel about this Friday,
the fate of the furious.
That's the word fate, but it's got the number eight in it.
Goddamn right it is.
That's coming out this Friday.
Are you guys fans of the Fast and Furious franchise?
I have a ticket already.
Oh, shit.
Me too.
All right, then we'll start with you, Matt.
The question is,
this is going to be obviously the eighth in the series.
What is your favorite Fast and Furious film?
I'm not good with titles, as anyone who's ever listened to the show when I'm on knows.
I was going to say,
it's not just being the dumbest contestant this time,
but the biggest.
It kind of goes hand in hand
to be the Lenny of this contestant line right now.
You're not the Lenny.
Well, come on.
Do you want me to go first?
I didn't just crush a girl's skull.
That's on a farm.
It was the robot.
It was Roblox.
I can go first if you want.
The one where they take on...
I know which one I like the best.
The one where they take on Venezuela. Which one is that like the best. The one where they take on Venezuela.
Which one is that one?
That is Fast Five.
Yes, I think that's my favorite.
That's mine.
It's Rio.
That's my favorite Fast Five.
I love that one because the one where they drag the tumbling safes down the street on a chain.
Oh, yeah.
They just wreck everything as they're driving.
It's just murdering police.
Well, murdering police and also just killing pedestrians you don't see.
And just like, we're family and now we're on the good side.
Yeah, yeah.
Somehow they're above the law and they just can kill people.
Well, and can just go up in the favelas and everyone's like, you guys are great.
Hang out.
Yeah.
We're not going to rob you with your cool cars.
They stopped the drug dealers, but now they're causing trouble.
Yeah.
No, there's that whole chase scene where they just keep dropping through roofs of people's homes.
That no one's in. They don't give a shit. Yeah. No, there's that whole chase scene where they just keep dropping through roofs of people's homes. That no one's in.
They don't give a shit.
Yeah.
They're all voting or just out in some parade or something like that day.
As this thing just plows through the homes.
They're all gone because they're voting.
It's voting day.
They knew they could have that car chase.
They're like, everyone's voting.
I love it.
I sent an email out saying, clear the area for these hours.
What's your favorite one demi furious seven
really yeah why do you like that one so i think furious seven is the perfect combination of like
they went the craziest they could with stunts and still make it be like oh i could kind of see these
superheroes of people doing that uh but also like the weird thing of how with paul walker's death
it sort of felt like
they could have just been like, okay, and he's not going to appear in the rest of them.
They rewrote it in a way that, like, made it work.
And it's, like, emotional at the end.
And I'm just genuinely impressed by that movie in every way.
Yeah.
How could they top it with this next one?
I don't know.
But they're gonna.
I think they...
Isn't it bad Vin Diesel in this one?
Doesn't he go bad or something?
Yeah.
Toretto turns on his family.
That's true.
Is that true?
It's true.
It's the seven movies where all they talk about is family,
and he's going to turn on his family?
It's crazy.
I can't believe that that is the fate of the furious.
Look, choose.
Choose.
Either your family or kissing Charlize Theron.
She's in it.
She is. He kisses her? Yeah. Just one kiss in the mouth, and he just. She's in it. She is.
He kisses her?
Yeah.
Just one kiss in the mouth and he just throws his family and I called her.
Fuck them.
I'm telling you, Doug.
I don't pay too much attention to the trailers and the ads because I want to be surprised
by something.
I turned on my family.
I want to be surprised by something in this life.
Something.
Anything.
Do you have a favorite one, Rosa?
No. But any time I see that poster,
I just go, huh, fate.
Fun, foo, fee, four, five, fix, fevin, and fate.
Yeah.
Every single fucking time.
It's the F in alphabet.
Fate.
Next one's gonna be.
Fate, fine.
I can go on.
That's what we need to do is,
let's put our heads together.
What's the ninth installment
going to be called?
Because they're not going to stop.
There's no breaks
on the Fast and Furious franchise.
What are they going to do for nine?
Go to Germany or some shit?
Fine.
I don't know.
Nine Furious Lives.
Ooh.
Okay.
Yes.
I think you need another ad.
Maybe they have to add
a couple more characters
because they also keep adding characters.
Kurt Russell's still in it.
Nine Furious.
Statham is still in it.
Yep.
Who's the new person this time?
I think Zach Braff is in it.
There's a line in it.
Is there really?
Or did you just pull that out of your ass?
I just pulled that out.
That would be amazing.
But of course, The Rock was the lady.
And I'm here.
Oh, great.
Charlize Theron, of course.
Of course, yeah.
This race is going to change your life.
Her movie, Atomic Blonde, that's coming out this summer,
that's the number.
I saw it at South By By and it's basically John Wick
but with a lady.
One of the same directors as John Wick.
John Wick
directed that?
John Wick is real?
That's right.
Finally, characters are directing movies.
Jesus.
He could.
See, what had happened is Scott Rudin killed his dog
so to get him back, he made a movie.
That is so sad, and it's such a spoiler.
For what?
For John Wick's.
Who doesn't know what happens in the first 10 minutes of John Wick?
Raise your hand if you don't know what happens in the first 10 minutes of John Wick.
Who doesn't know what the premise of John Wick is?
You didn't get any hands on that one.
You came to a comic book store.
I'm so impressed.
I love John Wick.
You're like owner
looking for Trump supporters.
This crowd all knows
what happened with
the beginning of John Wick.
Oh, I'm so happy.
Because it's so sad.
It's a shock.
Yeah, so John Wick 2,
I'm not going to say
what happens to the dog
in that one,
but when he gets a new dog,
you're like,
God damn it,
I got to go through this again?
No, if you haven't seen
John Wick 2,
then listen, we all know John Wick dies
and his dog avenges him.
It flips it.
It's called Dog Wick.
How great would that be if the dog was the star
of the third one?
That's fast and furious.
Dog Wick.
Dog Wick.
I got PTSD from John Wick 2.
Oh, because the fact that everyone is out to murder him?
It was too much.
And there's a scene with a rapper.
Common?
Yeah, that's not a spoiler.
Common's in it.
Common.
And he's just there rapping.
I don't know.
And he can rap.
He reminded her of her time in South Africa.
It was just too much. Yeah, I did't know. And he can rap. He just rapped. And he reminded her of her time in South Africa. It was just too much.
Yeah, I did get PTSD.
Yeah, he and Keanu Reeves, they like fucking roll down a staircase.
It's amazing.
It's fucked up.
Well, it made me understand how people can afford to live in New York now.
They're all contract killers.
Yeah.
Everybody in New York at any moment gets an alert in their phone like,
I'm going to murder somebody for $5,000.
Yeah, and they can all go to other countries.
Where is he?
I get to keep my condo.
Fucking sweet.
Swearing gin.
I just made rent for the month by murdering that guy.
I love that other countries have hitman hotels.
Yeah.
It's a chain.
It's a chain.
There's a rewards program.
Do they have like a continental breakfast?
I think so.
It's like, hello, I tried to kill you last night.
Today we will share a croissant.
The shitty version of the murderer's hotel.
Yeah.
Yeah, but you know what?
It's like a La Quinta.
That's true.
No killing in here.
And it's a free breakfast when you wake up at nine.
It's just a slice of orange.
That's what I don't understand about the coins that they use in those movies.
Because one time he uses a coin to check into the hotel.
He's getting a beautiful hotel room for a week or
however long he's going to stay. And another time
he buys one drink with a
coin. It's like I don't understand
like their system.
It seems like a drink is
kind of a stupid thing to waste a coin on.
When you can get someone
to swear an oath on it and also get an
old fashioned.
But yeah, enough dog w get an old fashioned. But yeah,
enough dog wick spoilers,
you guys.
Okay.
But I said my favorite
was Fast Five.
Do you have a favorite?
You don't remember that
joke that bombed?
I said fun,
foo,
fee,
foo.
But do you have a favorite
one of those movies?
I've never seen them.
Let's go with Tokyo Drift.
I stopped at Gone in 60 Seconds
and I never watched
another car movie
in my fucking life.
I'm disappointed in you.
Which Gone in 60 Seconds?
The one with Nicolas Cage?
Nick Cage
and Angie Jolie.
Yeah, because there was one
before that.
You know, that was a reboot.
What?
Yeah.
I'm going to go watch it.
Gone in 59 seconds.
It was a different kind of movie.
Gone in 59 seconds
They made it much slicker
I love that
The audience was like
We get it
And you were like
It's pretty good
I got it
I appreciate you
Thank you
It just made me realize
Why it has to be a reboot
Because like
Gone in 60 seconds
That's a long
Fucking time in a car
Yeah
Like your weight
That's not gone very fast
It's not like
Gone in half a second
60 seconds that's
a minute you're just watching yeah well you're sure taking off fast and that horse and buggy man
it's like 10 seconds to start the car like 10 more to be like where are we go okay the pick a song
google maps is loading the original movie was uh more of a kind of an indie car heist thing where
like they stole a bunch of cars oh Like a ton of cars in 60 seconds.
Got it, got it.
Yeah, and then Nicolas Cage comes along and he goes,
I'm just going to steal one every once in a while.
And it's going to take me 60 seconds to do it.
I love him.
He's great.
He's so great.
Why isn't he in Fast and Furious?
Oh, there you go.
That's who's next.
That's who's next right there.
Doesn't he show up in the little sequence
after the credits?
Oh my God.
I would eat my face off.
I don't know what I'd do.
I'd eat my own face off.
Wait, you just wanted
to say face off?
No, that was an accident.
Ah, nice.
Wow.
Inadvertent pun.
That was a gift.
I will raise Arizona.
I absolutely will.
I will fucking kiss a vampire.
I'd date that valley girl.
I will get the fuck out of Las Vegas.
That's not what it's called.
We got it, though.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, the other question I ask everybody,
we'll start with Rosa,
is the last motion picture you saw,
probably one of the ten that you saw on the plane coming back to the States.
Uh-huh.
Which one do you want to tell us about?
Hey, they all kind of blended together.
You saw blended?
I saw blended.
What did I see?
Oh, I saw the chick Ghostbusters, and I loved it.
Oh, okay.
I laughed so hard.
Everyone was giving me bad reviews, but I had a kick-ass time.
Well, that's good.
I laughed a lot.
Yeah, there was some weirdness there with how sexist our country is.
How upset certain dudes got over that movie.
Yeah, I thought it was fabulous and hilarious.
Kate McKinnon.
Kate McKinnon.
Everyone is so...
Leslie Jones.
They're all great.
She fucking killed it.
I fell in love with Melissa McCarthy all over again.
Oh my gosh.
She's so...
Everybody, so good.
That's great.
And which is the Hemsworth of Thor?
Chris.
Oh, I love him. He's so good.
Which Hemsworth do I love?
Not the
Miley one, but the other one.
Is that correct?
Do you like Thor's new haircut? He got his hair all cut off.
He can do whatever he fucking wants with that hair.
Oh, you think he'd be a good Baldy?
Yeah.
He can do anything he wants.
Alright. All right.
Good answer.
Tammy?
I, my wife and I.
My wife.
My wife.
I don't have a wife.
I just wanted you to say it.
I went to see Colossal.
Damn it, you tricked me.
I gotcha.
Oh, you see it?
Yeah, I did.
Was it good?
Did your wife like it?
She did.
She likes everything that she can possibly see
if she does not exist.
I recommend it, but I didn't like it,
if that makes sense.
Uh-uh.
I feel like...
There are so many movies in the world.
Why would I...
Like, five minutes in, I had questions that I was like,
okay, I'm sure this is going to get answered.
And they didn't get answered.
And then I got more questions and they would answer those.
And I was like, the answer for that question isn't very good.
And then like I think I enjoyed because I went into it knowing next to nothing.
And I think the surprise of the things I didn't know, I really enjoyed those.
But the things that I really was like, I want to know and I want...
The trailer blows out too much on it, I can tell
you that, because I saw it without having seen
the trailer first and
was pretty captivated by
how it went off in directions you didn't
necessarily expect. But if you've seen the
trailer, it really lays out a lot
of it. I'd seen a teaser for it.
I'd say skip the trailer.
But I like that movie a great deal. I think I have teaser for it. I'd say skip the trailer. Skip the trailer. But I
like that movie a great deal. Yeah? Yeah.
I think I have to watch it again, but I
was just, there were so many things about
it where I was like, how the hell did they not
explain that, or why is that person doing that thing?
But I still was like, I'm enjoying this, and
Anne Hathaway's doing a great thing, and there's
monster. But it's got its own set of rules, too.
There's monster. It's got its own, like,
it's a very unique universe, a unique idea.
It's incredibly original, and as much as I hate myself for nitpicking things as I watched it, I still enjoyed it.
Like, that reminds me of, like, I thought Ex Machina was really good, but the whole time I was like, why is she a robot?
That was my thing.
Did you see it in theaters?
I did.
It's great.
So you were just yelling that the whole time?
Everyone was like, shut up.
I yell inside my head.
I don't do it out loud.
What about you, Matt?
What was the last movie you saw?
Logan.
I saw it late.
I saw it one and saw it I saw it
one and sixteenths
of a time
because I was
in the movie
does somebody
tell the story for you
I was in the movie
and like five minutes
had gone by
and my phone
would not shut up
and I forgot to turn it off
and I finally
was like
what is it
it was one of my reps
and I called
they're like
you have to go read
with Lauren Graham
right now
and so I had to drive across town and do a chemistry
read with her, which I failed.
We had no chemistry.
We were very friendly together,
but I walked her there like, that was a lot of fun,
a lot of laughs, but I ain't getting it.
But then I had to walk
out as he's cutting people's heads off, and
everyone around me is like, where are you fucking going?
Like, this is happening right now.
You know, I left my popcorn.
People must have thought,
like, I had a death in the family or something.
But I watched it
and I enjoyed it.
I thought it was great.
I was always an X-Men fan
when I was a kid
and I thought it was,
it was pretty rad.
It's finally the Wolverine
that the world needs.
Yeah.
You need him to swear.
An old broken down one.
You need him to cause
actual bloodshed
when he slices somebody.
Because in all those PG-13 X-Men movies, he just goes, and they fall down.
Yeah.
And there's no blood.
Exactly.
He's like, what the fuck's going on?
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So thumbs up.
Definitely.
And also like-
A tight-
Adamantium thumb up.
Well, like, the thing people don't forget about is that he has that adamantium skeleton,
but also like like, now
old man body. So he's just dragging this
fucking, you know, inner robot around
all the time. And that's why he
falls over in every scene of that movie.
And you're like, oh, yeah, he's just tired and wants
to die. Like, you can't carry that thing around anymore.
Yeah, he's a bit of a mess.
Yeah.
There's not going to be more Logan movies.
No.
Aww. But this one, they did a crack-up job with it,
and I'm really liking where all this stuff is headed now
because I think lessons are being learned.
These movies can be heavy, but they can also be fun.
Yeah.
Because Logan has some really fun parts, but it can also be fun. Yeah. You know? Because Logan has some really
fun parts. Yeah. But it's heavy
as shit. Yeah.
So, there you go.
I guess we can move on.
I think so.
Bert, turn the show
off. Let the games begin!
Let the games begin!
Alright. lots of nice name tags for you guys to choose from
so please
lady and gentleman
go grab the one you like the best
and bring it back to your seat
and while you do that we'll do this
we'll be right back after these messages today's episode as i mentioned at the top is brought to you in
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subscription today. All right, we're back. Rosa likes the shithead on the back of her name tag. Is it the IRS? Dosa!
What are you doing?
What'd I do?
It feels good that I wasn't the one who did it this time.
I usually nail that.
What happened?
Let me read the back.
What are you doing? Oh, no.
It says...
Well, now I know.
You can't say it at the end if you lose.
Can I say the front?
Now you have to say a bunch of fake shitheads
so no one can tell which one's the real.
I thought when you said bunch of fake shitheads so no one can tell which one's the real.
I thought when you said you like the shithead that you understand how the shitheads work.
That's why I said it. I do want to see what it says, though.
Everybody wants to know.
I guess so.
That's a good one.
Tell us about your name tag, the front side of it.
It says the Silas of the Lambs.
And I like it because I grew up in D.C.
so I taught kind of ghetto.
And I like it because
it sounds like you're saying
silence, ghetto.
Like the Silas of the Lambs.
You know what I mean?
The Silas of the Lambs.
Silas.
Yeah.
Of the Lambs.
Yeah.
Okay.
Right?
Yeah.
Sure.
All right. Good job, Sil Yeah. Sure. All right.
Good job, Silas.
You got picked for
reasons you couldn't
possibly have
predicted.
Yeah, you never
knew.
Sorry.
He walks around,
he's Silas all the
time.
Yeah.
All right, what do
you got, Demi?
I have Jeremy,
myself, and Irene,
which I picked because
actually the very first
time I came to a
Doug Loves Movies, I made a poster that was Demi, myself, and Irene. So I picked because actually the very first time I came to a Doug Loves Movies, I made
a poster that was Demi, myself, and Irene.
So I did it for completely
self-serving reasons. That's what
we're supposed to do it for. And his shithead
is...
Hey...
Oh!
Doesn't say that!
Why did you start with hey?
Because I'm not creative.
I should have known you were joking,
but I still was like, don't you dare.
The silence at a glance.
Matt Bronger mentioned one that I mentioned
at the top of the show.
Yeah, the Christy element.
And that was the one I saw the first,
so I picked it.
And also, I love her green hair.
She looks like she'd be in the movie.
It's like, great.
Isn't that awesome?
Gary Oldman, of course, starring Doug Benson.
Yeah.
I always get into these movies when these people make the name tags.
You weren't in this?
I'm not in Fifth Element, no.
I like this one because I grew up in Dallas,
and so we say Fifth like the Christy element.
Yeah.
It's a strange affectation you guys have.
It's a very strange affectation.
That is a strange...
Dallas people speak so strange.
Oh, that was a good one.
All right, well, great job, everybody,
with the name tags,
and I look forward to hearing Rose's shithead
if she loses today, but that's the forward to hearing Rose's shithead if she loses today.
But that's the only time we hear the shitheads is if you lose.
That's the consolation prize.
You got it.
Let's start with a little game called Purple Rain Man.
And in this game that's beloved by many and a few are unaware of it.
Purple Rain Man is the name of it
because that's a mashup movie title.
And that movie, of course,
would star Prince and Dustin Hoffman.
Purple Rain Man.
So I'm going to give you
the third billing, people,
and then the second billing,
and then the first billing
for a mashup.
And just guess as often as you like
and whoever gets the right mashup title first is the winner.
Can you go first?
I just blanked out completely, but I'm going to catch on.
Yeah, just jump in.
You'll figure it out as you go.
We're doing great, Silas.
Don't worry.
I have no idea what's going on his name but you get the idea purple rain man is two titles put
together yeah yeah okay you're probably not gonna win this game so my shithead is
oh just this first game you got plenty of chances to turn it around, girl.
All right.
Third billing in these two movies mashed up together would be Eva Mendes and Jason Statham.
What?
Right?
Oh, wait.
Can I?
You can guess as often as you like.
Too Fast, Too Furious 7? That is correct. Wow. Yeah. right? Wait, can I? You can guess as often as you like too fast, too furious seven.
That is correct.
Wow.
Wow. Yeah.
Wow.
I thought
this would be a tough, confusing
one. You got wrong
because second
billing show your work, though. Like
how do you get your answer eva mendez was
second billing would be tyrese gibson and paul walker so that gets confusing as fuck because
then yeah first billing is paul walker and vin diesel because too fast too furious didn't have
our boy vin in it right okay but furious seven did Furious 7 did have him and Jason Statham.
But Eva Mendes was your big clue there.
And you knew Statham didn't come into it until 7.
Until 6.
6.
Oh, my God.
But 6 was called...
Furious, or Fast and Furious 6.
Fast and Furious 6.
So you couldn't match those up.
Wow, that was an impressive performance right there.
I just wrote a big thing about the Fast and Furious movies,
so I know a lot about who's in them.
I kind of think we should all just go home.
No, yeah, it's really, I mean, speaking of Rain Man,
it's like watching someone drop a box of matchsticks
and he nails what the number is, and they're still sticking the box.
And I just say fate, it's fate.
That's a 728.
Yeah, you may have known the answer to that because you're on the spectrum.
Yeah.
I was trying
to think of how to make
a pun out of spectrum and racing.
You can't.
At least not right away.
I might have to go home and work on it.
By the end of the show, I'll have something.
I was going to say Hitch Transporter.
Just two totally random movies.
Hitch Transporter.
Not punny.
I would watch it.
Nothing.
If you're transporting stuff, you've got to hitch it to something.
You've got to hitch it to stuff.
Right.
Exactly.
Makes perfect sense.
And Tyrese Gibson, of course, was just billed as Tyrese in that particular movie.
But I said his whole name just so no one would be confused. Right. And Tyrese Gibson, of course, was just billed as Tyrese in that particular movie.
But I said his whole name just so no one would be confused.
Right.
Could have been the other Tyrese.
Let's play Ron Bennington's
Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.
And hopefully this game will take a little bit longer.
Wait, were there other routes?
You got that so fast.
I thought there was more questions.
Thank God, though, because I don't know.
Oh, there's more questions. They're just though, because I don't know. There's more questions.
They're just under the guise of different titles, different games.
It's like you guys listen to the show all the time,
but don't listen to it at all.
You've attended tapings of the show.
And I leave 30 minutes in.
I got stuff to do.
I got to go home and watch.
You totally Bert Kreischer that shit.
You're like, I don't care about the games.
Yeah.
Unless I'm playing them and obl you totally burnt Christ for that shit you're like I don't care about the games yeah unless I'm playing them
and obliterate everybody
in the process
but this is a
anybody can win this game
because basically
the idea of it is
is I'll say the name
of an actor
and Demi gets to go first
because he won
the first game
and then
each of you
will take turns
we'll go Rosa
and then Matt
and you just take turns naming a movie
you think that that actor is in
that might be in their top three
box office grosses domestic of all time
after Box Office Mojo has adjusted for inflation.
So you just gotta go for it
you gotta name a movie
you think would be
the most popular
I'm just gonna say
under all those
circumstances
it's like all the movies
came out in one year
right I think
yeah
you guys know
that you're whispering
into microphones
what
just want you to know
that
are we doing that
yeah
oh my god
we just were
shit
everyone can hear what you're saying can we turn down our microphones We just wear it. Shit.
Everyone can hear what you're saying.
Can we turn down our microphones?
No, I'm kidding.
So you guess one at a time.
You don't have to blurt anything out. And I'll give you a second to think about it
when it's your turn.
Demi, what do you think?
Can you think of a movie
that's in the top three
box office
domestic
adjusted for inflation
for the great
Meryl Streep
wow audience
Meryl this is an intense
crowd
it's like someone just missed a putt or something Wow. The audience. Camaro. This is an intense crowd. Streep.
It's like someone just missed a putt or something.
I'm going to say Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Sailor, Florence Foster Jenkins.
All right.
That was a lot of fun.
But you need to get your fucking shit together.
I just wanted to say a fun thing.
And say the right title.
It's Florence Foster Jenkins.
Okay.
That's what I call her.
You think that's in her top three money makers
of all time?
Adjusted for inflation.
Yeah. Not that you need to know
all the films of Meryl Streep.
Well, it's not Ricky and the Flash.
All right, you don't need to narrow
it down for the other players. You took
mine. I'm sorry.
Rosa, what do you think?
Julia and Julia.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
She wasn't there.
Silas.
That's another one.
That's my homie on there.
I like how you said it like you were being like,
I told you, Silas.
No, I was saying, see, you can trust me, Silas.
You thought Silas was worried?
I didn't get that last game, I'll be honest with you.
Nobody would have, that was,
nobody had a chance
in that one.
But especially the person
who didn't know any of the Fast and Furious films
when asked just to name one,
I knew you were going to be in trouble.
Matt?
Well, this is a real Sophie's choice.
It isn't, actually,
because she's made more than two films.
What?
All right.
Good point.
Depressing and horrific point,
but good one.
I'm going to go Devil Wears Prada.
Oh, shit.
That was a big one.
This is where
the inflation adjustment
can really kick you
in the ass
because she was
in some huge movies
early on in her career
that once the adjustment
gets taken into consideration.
Number three,
The Deer Hunter.
If one of you had gotten the number three movie
You would have gotten one point for that
The number two movie
Is a phrase I used earlier this evening
For fun
Out of Africa
Tried to give you that one
And then
Because what are you right now?
Huh?
Out of Africa
Again Thank you. Because what are you right now? Huh? Out of Africa.
Again!
Again!
So that would have been worth two points.
And then worth the big three points would have been if someone had thought of Kramer vs. Kramer.
Oh, God.
Divorce Spectacular.
For some reason, I just assumed that
those didn't make a ton of money domestically, despite being huge movies.
Yeah, well, Florence Foster Jenkins was not a huge movie.
Yeah, that's also when movies were in the...
Even by today's prices.
That's when movies were in movie theaters for like eight months.
Yeah, that's true.
Absolutely.
All right, so no points on the board.
We're all killing it.
Yeah, Which is fine
But now we rotate
So Rosa gets to go first this time
And then Matt and then Demi
But if we get all the way to a tiebreaker
Demi gets to go first again
That's why it's important that he got to go first
Robert Redford
Rosa That's why it's important that he got to go first. Robert Redford.
Rosa.
Butch Cassidy and La Sundance Kid.
Colon.
No, just kidding.
That is the whole title. That is the whole title.
Matt. The Sting. That is the whole title. That is the whole title. Matt?
The Sting.
Thank you for that.
Made me think for a second
that wasn't even a movie.
The whole plot of that.
What the hell are you talking about?
A movie about the lead singer, the police?
He wasn't in that.
We're not going. Where'd you get that kazoo?
Where are you hiding that kazoo?
I was going to come in with the hospital later.
Silas!
Are you a kazoo smuggler?
What?
What do you think is in Robert Redford's top three, Demi?
Captain America, The Winter Soldier.
Oh, right.
Right?
That whole movie about signing a document.
Sorry.
What?
The whole thing about reading a document.
What?
What are you talking about?
Did you say Civil War?
I said Winter Soldier.
Oh, same.
Okay.
Neither of those movies is about signing a document.
Civil War is like they're constantly like read it.
They're supposed to, yeah.
They keep putting a pen in front of Captain America.
Read it.
Sign this.
He just destroyed everything.
Why didn't he just not read it?
That's fine.
I don't think he did read it.
He had a verbal cue.
It was like.
He knew what was in it.
It's like still using paper. He knew he didn't like it. It was a charter. Is that't think he did read it. He had a verbal cue. He knew what was in it. It's like still using paper.
He knew he didn't like it.
It was a charter.
Is that what they called it?
Anyway.
It was a proclamation.
Coming in at number three for Mr. Robert Redford.
This is a great one.
All the President's Men.
True.
Yeah.
With Dusty Hoffman.
More movies about documents.
It's a movie about when journalists actually had an effect on our world around us.
Famous.
Ooh.
Famous.
With famous cowboy gentleman gambler, Dusty Hoffman.
Oh, Dusty Hoffman's back again.
What a gentleman gambler he is.
Dusty Hoffman.
Gentleman gambler is the name of. Great old timey name. he is. Dusty Hoffman.
Gentleman Gambler is the name of him. Great old timey name.
You'll see like an interview with
Gene Hackman or something and he'll say
Dusty, I think. I think they call him
that. Robert Duvall.
Oh, Bob? Yeah, Bob was there.
Bobby Redford.
Speaking of nicknames,
coming in at number two,
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance.
Yeah!
Numbers on the board.
Silas.
You got two points, lady.
Boom.
I'm happy for you.
Did you say Demi or Demi?
I say Demi.
Oh.
I mean, I say that.
Demi is like a girl version. But it's great.i. Oh. I mean, I say that. Demi is like a girl version.
But it's great.
Yeah.
Okay.
Could think about it, you know.
Number one.
We all love the theme song.
The Sting.
Boom.
Three points for Matt.
Wow, the tables turned.
Thank you.
The tables just flip-flopping all over the place,
and then there's another game to play
that's really the one that actually matters.
I'm just glad to get anything every time I play this game.
Yeah, it's just the small accomplishments that add up.
I'll take the bronze.
You have the gold currently.
Right now.
Yeah, but he's willing to settle.
He's ready to downgrade that shit.
Trade you?
Why?
What a good barterer.
Matt is running into a pawn shop with his gold immediately.
For some bronze.
Getting some bronze.
I would like $5 for this.
I can get more bronze with this gold.
Next day, fuck.
It's better.
All right. Next day Fuck It's better Alright So Matt gets to go first this time
It's so appropriately
Because
And then we go to
Rosa and Demi
The name I'm looking for Matt
Is Matt
Dylan Okay Films of Matt Dylan The name I'm looking for, Matt, is Matt Dillon.
The films of Matt Dillon.
Silas, we're gonna win it.
Sweet Dilly Boy.
Sweet Dilly Boy.
That's what Bob Duvall calls him
You mean Sweet Dilly?
You hear him going
Please don't call me that guy
It's just Matt
Oh Dilly
Dilly the pickle
Dilly Boy
You know what?
Yeah
I'm gonna go the outsiders.
Okay.
Adjusted for inflation could work out for you.
Me?
There's something about Mary.
Oh!
Yep, yep.
Love his teeth in that.
He's got crazy fucking horse teeth.
Demi.
I'm going to go with Crash.
Oh, that's a good pick.
I forgot about that one.
It's not a bad pick.
Song about the Dave Matthews band song.
You, me, or Dupree.
Isn't he in that movie?
I hope not.
No, you, me, and Dupree. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, hope not. No, you and me and Dupree.
Oh, yeah. That's me, myself and Irene. I got an ampersand.
Same movie.
Yeah, but Matt Dillon
is only in one of them.
Only one of those movies has the Matt Dillon
magic. Unfortunately.
Matt Dillon needs to be in every movie.
Isn't he?
His spirit lives on through film.
I mean, the most recent one you guys named was Crash,
so I dare say he's not in every movie.
That's very true.
Crash, probably the most undeserving Best Picture winner of all time.
Yes, I second that, sure.
I mean, it stopped racism, but at what cost?
Thank you for finally admitting it, Demi.
I'm tired of this argument.
It's over now, and Crash did it.
I'm tired of this argument.
But it could have been a better movie.
Stopped racism.
It's over now.
We're done.
What stopped it?
The pawn shop owner yelling at the
Middle Eastern person?
Yes,
it was the blanks
in the guns
that never happened.
It scared racism away.
Get out of here.
Go fly a plane
into a building.
Like he said something
so insane.
Yeah.
I thought racism
just was decided
to chill out
when it met
Encino Man.
It might have been that.
And the lady from
Where's the Jess?
Miss Congeniality
was in the crash.
Coming in at number
three for Mr. Matt Dillon
is a motion picture called
Little Darlings.
One of the
first that he did.
So you're on the right track maybe
with that Outsiders thing,
but it was Little Darlings
with Christy McNichol
and some other lady.
Well, but to be fair,
Little Darlings is what I call
the Outsiders.
Tatum O'Neill.
That's right.
Like they're all such
sweet little Darlings.
Oh, they are sweet little Darlings.
Soda Pop and the other boys.
Greasy haired Darlings.
Jean.
That shot of them
in the back of the pickup.
Those are some sweet little darlings.
Tom Cruise.
You said mmm.
Why?
Sweet little darlings.
Look, I'm straight, man, but vegetarians appreciate pork.
You know what I'm talking about?
It's a weird analogy.
Wait, no they don't.
They know the flavor is
Something special
They just gave it up
Just like I gave up man
Fight the feeling
Nobody on stage is giving up something
For Lent are they
Cause that's right now isn't it
Catholicism
I think this seat in the front row Take that Pope Lent, are they? Because that's right now, isn't it? Catholicism?
Nice.
I think this seat in the front row gave up Doug Love's movies for Lent.
Baseball Jordan, we miss you.
That's why it's empty.
All right.
Coming in at number two for Matt Dillon,
the epic saga known as
In and Out.
Wow.
With Tom Selleck and Kevin Kline as
gay teachers, I think they were.
Whoa.
Make out with each other.
They're all closeted.
Most of the soundtrack is by
Barry Manilow.
Makes sense now.
And coming in at number one,
There's Something About Mary.
All right.
Silence.
How did Little Darlings not make that list?
It did.
It did.
Not the outsider.
The insider.
Right.
Wait, is the fact that you're gay why you didn't have...
Take it easy.
Was.
Was.
I prayed it away.
I'm asking if that's why
you didn't have chemistry
with Lauren Graham,
the most beautiful woman.
Could be.
Could be that, yeah.
No, I gave it up for Lent.
Come on.
Don't high five.
Please, thank you.
Thank you.
Please don't go.
Please don't.
You shouldn't high five that.
Was your problem with Lauren Graham
is that you just couldn't talk as fast as Rory could?
No, I mean.
Because they got chemistry, those two ladies.
I felt the audition went fine.
It was just like a chemistry read,
and I didn't get the part.
So it just made me laugh when I didn't.
So I was like, we got no chemistry.
But it was like a decent little read,
and we both appreciated each other
as possible sex partners in another world.
I hope you're listening, Lauren.
You walked out of the audition just being like,
we might not work together, but we can still, you know.
Right?
Maybe.
Bye.
I'll be in the parking lot.
See you later.
Did you see the other dudes that were up for the part?
Yeah, I did.
Can you name names?
Let me see who I remember.
It's just a couple people.
Well, the one guy was on...
They're all like sitcom guys,
and I can't remember exactly what their names are.
All better looking than you or worse looking?
Medium.
Right around.
Same?
That's what they were going for.
There wasn't one guy that was like,
oh, that's an Adonis.
Like when I go in that audition room,
I'm like, nope, wrong room.
Where's my room?
You know, I know my lane, trust me.
Right, but when you walk in and it's all ogres,
you know that that's not right for you either.
Friendly, better looking Shreks.
Yeah, exactly.
Slightly.
God damn.
That's pretty hot.
You were up for the BFG and the monster calls?
I went in,
I got a call back
for the big fucking giant
and um,
didn't you guys
think that's what it was?
That's not why
it was called BFG.
Big fucking giant.
No,
friendly.
Because he,
it was a giant
that works at Friendly's.
You were the crash
and crash.
Just the mangled up car.
Which is the ugliest monster of all.
Racism.
Yes.
But thank God it's dead, right?
Yeah.
Finally.
No more racism.
Thank you, crash.
Thank you, dilly boy.
I have four points.
Let's get back to now.
Wait, don't you have five?
Listen, you math whiz, you have five points.
You're both so bad at negotiating.
I have five.
At least I know I'm bad.
I have five points.
Yeah, and so you officially won that game.
Woo!
I have coins.
Yeah, and so you officially won that game. Woo!
But just for the fun of it, I want to play one more round of it
because I've got one more prepared and might as well play it.
But just remember, you won.
Okay.
Yeah, you'll always have that.
Yeah.
Oh.
It's empty.
Okay.
We'll start with Demi.
The films of kevin klein who i just saw on broadway in a play
called present laughter noel cowards noel noel cowards present laughter and he was really really old still treading the boards playing a man 28 years his junior you got any for
us Demi I'm gonna say dances with wolves no wait that's Kevin Costner you said
I love seeing Kevin Costner and Noel Coward plays he's so dapper. That's Prances of Wolves.
Now I can't even think of a
Kevin Kline movie. Really?
That's interesting. I know it's not right.
I just said the name
of a Kevin Kline.
What do you mean he could pass?
I know it's not right. You could leave the room
in shame.
I know it's not right, but this round doesn't even count
so I'm gonna say Wild Wild
West. Okay.
It's alright for you to say it.
I'm interrupting. I'm doing
a Benson interruption of Wild Wild West.
You are? At the Wild West Comedy
Festival in Nashville,
Tennessee on
Saturday, April 26.
I think.
I've never seen that movie, so I don't know if it sucks.
Ooh, it's bad.
Real bad.
But, hey, but you like racism, so you might like it.
I don't like racism.
You said it's gone, so you're probably okay with it if it's gone.
Well, great, Doug.
Now racism's back.
No, I was just going to say, but that theme song is incredible.
I love it so much.
Oh, getting jiggy with it?
It's called Wild Wild West.
Oh, okay.
Wild Wild West.
Wicked Wild Wild.
Not that one.
Wicked Wicked Wild Wild West.
Oh, my God.
When that song comes out at the end.
They should have brought back Kumo D, but no, they didn't.
On the album version of that song, he blames the song's existence on Jaden Smith. Like his, at that time, baby.
He said, I made this song because I got to pay for my baby.
He has like a fake conversation being like, so Jaden, what song you want to hear next on the album?
The baby's like, Wild Wild West.
Nah, nah, I got so many other songs.
He's like, no, Wild Wild West.
He's like, alright, if Jaden wants it.
And it just goes into Wild Wild West.
I fucking need to hear that soon.
It's real and it's out there.
But that's on his own album.
He put the Wild Wild West song on
there. Like that's not on the Wild Wild
West soundtrack. No, it should be.
Where the soundtrack of the movie is being talked
into singing the title song by his
baby. Credits roll.
Just shows up.
Credits roll. So Jade. And are you sure
the baby didn't say
Wild Wild West?
It sounds like
Wild Wild West.
Oh my God.
I can't wait.
All right.
Incredible.
So that's where you're going
with Wild Wild West.
Good for you.
So it's not on there.
Rosa.
Can we say the one
that you mentioned earlier?
Yes.
That's how this works.
Learning curve.
In and out.
In and out?
In and out.
You heard her.
In and out.
In and out.
That's what she chose.
I kind of like that title better.
In and out.
Ouch.
That's the porn version of in and out, right?
In and out.
Ouch.
In and out.
She said it. Grin and grouch. In and Out. In and Out? Ouch. In and Out? She said it.
Grin and grouch.
In and Out?
Oh, no.
Matt Bronger.
I'm going to go Fish Call Wanda.
Oh, okay.
Classic.
All right.
This is an exciting one
because he's had a lot of big movies,
and I wrote down a bunch of them.
Coming in at number nine.
Furious nine.
Sophie's Choice.
Yeah.
Wait, are all these people in Sophie's Choice?
Nope.
Okay.
I was trying to think of the link.
Just two of them, but there were links between everything that no one decided to think about or discover.
Sorry.
They're all in Best Picture winners? No, you were smart.
In the case of Robert Redford, someone was supposed to go out of Africa
confidently because it was just in Meryl Streep's top three,
but Robert Redford kicked more ass than Meryl Streep,
so out of Africa didn't even make the cut.
But on this list, the Pink Panther is number eight,
number seven, In-N-Out.
In-N-Out.
Yeah, see?
So I tricked you.
That's not worth any points.
Wow, you're a dick.
Number six.
You pushed me into that.
I really did.
I pushed you hard.
Number six.
He won the Academy Award, but it's only his sixth most popular movie, A Fish Called Wanda.
Yeah.
Number five was Dave.
Number four was The Big Chill.
I mean, I'm not sure about that, but I heard it on the grapevine.
And number three, Wild Wild West.
Wiki Wild Wild.
Wiki Wiki.
Wiki Wild Wild.
Wiki Wild.
And he still didn't win.
Wiki Wiki Wild. Getting baggy with it. wiki wiki wiki wild wiki wiki wild
getting baggy with it
to the wild wild west
but that left two spots at the top
and
it's for his tremendous voice work I guess
cause number two is the hunchback
of Notre Dame
and number one Beauty and the Beast.
I didn't know he did that.
That thing is raking in the dome.
Oh, the new one.
He's the new Candelabra, isn't he?
No?
No, I thought that was Ewan McGregor.
He's the point.
You must be talking about the animated one.
He's the fucking plate?
The new one's not animated, I don't think.
Oh, he's the dad.
He's the fucking plate.
Oh, he's live action in it?
Oh, shit.
I haven't seen it, so I assumed he was just a voice in it.
Ewan McGregor was a fucking plate.
He's a candle.
When I saw Beauty and the Beast on stage,
the dad was Mr. C from Happy Days
and the guy from
Father Dowling's Mysteries.
So, yeah, Tom Bosley.
I like how someone
in the green room was like,
Tom Bosley?
The hair restoration guy?
And speaking of Bosley,
yeah, if you have hair needs,
trust in Bosley.
And then, yeah, so that was number one,
is this new Beauty and the Beast is tearing it up.
It's already at like almost $500 million or some shit.
Yeah, it's making some dough.
But then again, so is the Boss Baby.
So we live in a dumb country.
Cookies are for closers.
It's a pretty good tagline i love it i haven't seen boss baby but at what point did they hire uh you know uh adam uh alec what time are they at what point they
hire alec baldwin to be boss baby because they should have made the boss baby more alec baldwin
like if it's going to be his voice how do you get a baby that looks like a Baldwin?
I'm telling you,
he already looks like a fucking gigantic baby.
It's like making a Trump baby.
It's easy.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
I feel like Baldwin
got involved very early
in on the process.
It seems like a passion project
for him.
I think you should talk
to Melania about making
a Trump baby
because I don't think it's easy.
You don't know
what I'm saying.
Nice. We're not here. This is not... That was loud. You don't know what I'm saying. Nice.
We're not here. This is not.
That was a hard high five.
I had a great time. I hope the listeners
could hear that one.
That was a fucking
hard one.
Let's play Last Man Stanton, you guys.
No one reached out to me today on Twitter with the idea that they could have a... What?
Someone in the audience just said, I'll do it, Doug, and it sounded like me.
I think it was you, yeah.
Well, who can say?
I don't think you can name it.
That wouldn't be fair to the other contestants.
We've got a gentleman in the front row with his hand up and I respond
I always respond to people
sitting next to anyone with green hair
and that's the
scenario right there.
So I'm going to ask him. What's your name dude?
Jamie. You guys come in
from far away for this?
I live in LA. You live in LA.
You're here. You're committed to it.
Thank you. Thank you for making're here. You're committed to it. Thank you.
Thank you for making the effort.
He's going to name.
Why are you looking at me?
I drove here.
I'm going to explain the game to you.
You came from South Africa.
Hey, hey, hey.
You know I'm the host, right?
Yeah.
He's going to give us a name of an actor or actress.
And I'll play along.
We're going to take turns naming movies that that actor or actress has been in.
You get to go first,
because you won that last game, Rosa.
Then we go to Demi, Matt, me.
If you can't think of a movie that actor's in,
you're out, but one time during the game,
you can use your lifeline,
which is the person whose name tag you chose.
So Rosa could use Silas.
Demi can use Jeremy, myself, and
Irene. And
Matt can use the Christy element.
At any point, I recommend
going to your lifeline early
because late when we've run out
of titles, they're going to be out of titles
too. And hopefully they're not cheating
and using their phones.
I say hopefully because I do not regulate that.
Okay.
Jamie?
Anne Hathaway.
Anne fucking Hathaway.
Is the name in my pens not working?
But that's okay.
Because I think I can remember Anne Hathaway.
How could you forget?
Start us off, Rosa.
Devil Wears Prada.
Yes, the aforementioned.
Demi.
Colossal.
The aforementioned.
Matt Bronger.
Les Miserables. Not mentioned
yet this episode. Probably
not again either. What's that?
I thought about it earlier. Oh, okay.
Rule of threes.
I'm going to go with
Get Smart.
Go ahead. Ah, boy. I'm going to go with Get Smart Don't forget about your lifeline I know it's early
I want to say
The Martian
You should say The Martian
Silas help me out
Your competitors think you should say The Martian
Interstellar.
That's the one you were thinking of.
See?
Rachel Getting Married.
Oh, that's a good one.
There you go.
The Princess Diaries.
Ooh.
Thank you.
I thought she was in that one.
I'm not going to say Princess Diaries 2
because I don't know the rest of the title.
I think it's Diarrhea Town.
Diarrhea Town.
No, it's Diarrhea Crown.
Good night, everybody.
I'm going to take off.
I saw nothing.
The tank is empty of bullshit.
You kidding me?
The crowd loves that.
Roblox.
Do you hear that, though?
The crickets did stop.
It's because how do you fuck while this show is going on?
It's just not possible. There's definitely someone who's fuck while this show is going on it's just not possible
there's definitely
someone who's
fucking to this podcast
one of them is
stopping and going
I know the perfect
Anna Hathaway
I've got this
is it my turn
yeah
okay
the dark knight rises
oh
ha ha ha ha
oh woman
yeah that's right she was a lady with cat ears but she wasn't actually Princess! Ah. Ha ha ha ha. Catwoman.
Yeah, that's right.
She was a lady with cat ears,
but she wasn't actually,
they didn't call her Catwoman.
It's just an outfit.
She looked good in it.
She's good at kicking people.
Uh-oh.
You in trouble?
Yeah.
The great Anne Hathaway.
Do you know the rest of the title of Princess Diaries 2?
Back in the habit.
Oh, shit. I don't think anyone's going to know the title for that one.
Princess Diaries 2.
Princess? Princess 2 Princess?
Princess Time What?
Princess Time?
Is that what you just said?
I think before that
you said Princess
Princess Diaries 2
It's Princess Time
Shit's about to get princess
Can I just go
up in this piece
Princess Diaries 2?
Just think of another Anne Hathaway movie.
Oh, is that how that works?
She was in that one where her mouth is all big.
He's settling.
What?
She's got a big smile.
Ooh.
Sorry.
Black hair.
I know!
Yes!
Do it!
One day Yes
Yeah
You really said it
Like there was more words coming
One day
She was singing the
Modest Yahoo song
Oh my god yes
Alright she made it
To another round
Way to go
That's painful
Sorry
Princess Diaries 2 Royal Engagement.
Oh!
You son of a bitch!
Son of a bitch.
Good job.
Wow.
I only know that because Chris Pine's in it.
He's my boy.
He's a cool guy.
I was watching it on cable recently going,
Chris Pine's in this shit?
Holy shit. He's probably a prince in a few things Chris Pine's in this shit? Holy shit.
He's probably a prince in a few things.
He's a prince in Into the Woods.
Let's not confuse the issue.
Prince in his own damn life.
Your turn.
He played Prince Jack Ryan in that one movie.
He played Prince in a very misguided biopic.
It was before a crash,
so it's fine. It's forgiven.
Christy.
Lifeline. He's going to his Lifeline.
Havoc? A motion picture
called Havoc, where she's a
young, troubled young girl
who has a lot of sex in it, I think.
Thank you. She has like sex in the back of a
car at one point.
I've only seen parts of it on Mr. Skin.
Oh my God.
No, I saw the whole movie.
I'm not proud.
I'm not proud of that.
We were really getting down to it here.
The old hand.
I'm going to go to my lifeline, which is the entire audience.
No.
I'm going to say to my lifeline, which is the entire audience. I'm going to say...
Oh, shit.
It's 19 minutes after the hour, which means it's almost 4.20 somewhere.
Do you have that alarm for every hour?
Yes, how am I going to know if I don't have an alarm going off?
You just go to sleep and wake up in like hour increments? It's a fair answer, Demi.
Just waking up every hour.
Oh, oh, oh.
420 somewhere.
I respect that.
You're like the Jimmy Buffett of weed.
Sex and other drugs oh
no
whoa
whoa
whoa
whoa
whoa
whoa
you already said it
you already said it
you do not get to say
that I'm wrong
first of all
yeah listen
miss in and ouch
that is the name
of that movie
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess
princess princess princess princess princess princess princess princess princess princess princess princess princess princess That is the name of that movie. Princess Diaries Prince. Listen, Tinker, Tyler, Soldier, Florence Jenkins.
Don't bring me into this.
I was having a goof.
No, but I did say it wrong, so I will recuse myself.
Loving other drugs.
That's right.
You bastard.
Thank you.
You're a cold-hearted player.
Yeah.
But Demi's ready to go still.
Shit.
The Intern. Oh, the motherfucking Intern. You've been in front's ready to go still. Shit. The Intern.
Oh, the motherfucking Intern!
I've heard of us all this time.
That's the full title.
The Intern.
That was a good pull.
I got nothing. I'll leave it to both of you.
Alright, we're back to you.
That isn't one? I thought that was...
I got nothing. I'll leave it to both of you.
Her friend leaves her for her best friend.
It was a student film.
Yeah, man. I'll leave it to both of you. About her friend leaves her for her best. It was a student film. Oh, yeah, man.
I saw it at NYU.
I mean, we're really, this is some bottom of the barrel shit right here.
This is tough.
The Princess Diaries were like the beginning of it all.
And then what else did she do?
I mean, she hit it pretty big pretty fast.
We all became aware of who she was.
Whether we liked it or not.
She just did Mark Maron's What the Fuck.
I kind of want to listen to it.
I think it'd be interesting.
Those are kind of like movies.
Oh, okay.
So I'm back in?
She was in that one thing no one liked.
The Oscars.
That's right.
She had a bad year at the Oscars.
It wasn't her fault.
I thought she committed herself nicely.
I just thought their energies were totally imbalanced.
He was basically catatonically high.
That's what people like to say, but he doesn't smoke weed.
He was catatonically
uncaring. Yeah, he just was like,
I'm going to act cool, and then that came
off as stupid and high.
So she had to do double duty.
Demi, do you
have one to cap it off? Because she's
going to sit here and think for too long.
Yeah.
But if you have one more, you could just finish it.
Oh, no.
You thought of one?
No, no.
Say it anyway.
False alarm.
False alarm.
I'm sorry.
She's not in that.
I keep thinking of one movie, but I think it's Rebecca Holland, not her.
So I don't want to say it.
Oh, yeah.
That's probably true.
She's not in the gift.
Let's just do that.
We'll sit here.
I keep thinking someone's listening to this podcast
right now, just in their car.
Someone said something.
I'm going to drive my car into a pole.
There's people sitting right in front of you, Matt,
that are saying that. I'm going to drive my car into a pole. There's people sitting right in front of you, Matt, that are saying that.
Yeah, I know.
Like, I'm going to drive my head into a pole.
Because there's other movies.
There's not many to choose from.
I think we did a good job of doing most of our movies,
but there's something we missed.
But if neither one of you can come up with something,
I'm going to have to name a winner.
Lifeline.
Who's got a lifeline?
Oh, I have a lifeline!
Holy shit!
Jeremy, save me!
Ella Enchanted.
Ella Enchanted!
Ella motherfucking Enchanted.
There you go.
Did they make two?
Thank you.
Did they make two of those?
I'm pretty sure they made two.
Thank you, Jeremy.
Oh, that made me think of one.
God damn it.
Right?
I like that movie.
I thought of one.
What'd you think of?
I can't say it quite yet.
Oh, I guess you win.
Do you concede, Rosa?
No, we all have to stay here overnight.
Together!
That's what I was going to suggest,
is we'll go as long as it takes,
but then some genius thought
of lifelines.
Man, this is awesome.
Yeah, exactly. I can't just let this
peter out. We've got to end on a big, exciting note
of Demi is our winner!
Demi! Demi! Demi!
Demi!
And isn't she a voice in Hoodwinked? Yes! I don't know. Demi, Demi, Demi, Demi. Yeah.
And isn't she a voice in Hoodwinked?
Yes.
I don't know.
There you go.
Broke fucking back mountain.
God damn it. Oh, man.
Is she in Margaret?
No.
Bride Wars.
Bride Wars.
See, I knew there were some big ones.
We missed all the best ones.
Broke back mountain.
What's that?
Alice Through the Looking Glass.
Alice Through the Looking Glass and Alice in Wonderland.
Really?
Yeah, you think you got them all.
I haven't seen any of them.
Fucking huge ones.
That first Alice in Wonderland
is like one of the top 10 movies of all time.
Yeah.
It's huge.
It's crazy.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
Not see it.
Yeah, not at all.
All right, Jeremy, myself, and Irene,
come get your prizes.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Thank you for your prizes. Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you very much.
Do I get to say shithead?
Yeah, keep in mind this bag of water is very heavy.
Then the rest of the prizes.
Oh, there's your, yeah, get your poster.
Your donuts.
Don't forget the donuts.
There are five of them.
That's the first on the show that we didn't throw the donuts.
They just went home with a person from the audience.
All those donuts are too...
They got too many toppings to be thrown.
They'll have s'mores and shit flying all over the audience.
Got it?
Yep.
Alright, let's do some plugs, you guys.
Promote yourselves, starting with Matt Bronger.
Oh, Bridgetown Comedy Festival,
first weekend of May.
I'm taping my special there
Friday and Saturday at the Paris Theater
at 7 o'clock, so if you're listening to this
and you're in Portland, please come and laugh
and have fun.
Thank you so much for all the support, too.
Ten years. Can't believe it.
Thanks, guys.
Do you want to do me a DGB? for all the support too. 10 years, can't believe it. Thanks guys.
Do you want to do me a DGE, Barry? You can listen to Gilmore guys as we slowly wrap down
and wind into our own minds and go crazy
at the end of the show.
If you're looking for a good entry point,
the one we did about Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is good.
And also please watch the first season of The Good Place
on Hulu or NBC.com which I wrote for. Alright.
I'm sponsored by
Alcatru Water and
you can get, I wish,
I'm gonna be in a couple
things in like 2018
so get ready.
Alita Battle Angel
Maize Runner 3
and Maize Runner 3
The Death Cure
oh yeah
this guy goes
oh yeah
cool
Maize Runner 3
The Scorch
Scorch Ouch
Scorchy Ouchy
and in Scorch
and in Scouch
yeah
yeah we'll have you
back on before then
and plug all those those movies those movies as they come up.
I had one more thing I wanted to say.
Oh, we added a second show on Father's Day at Laugh Boston in Boston, Massachusetts in June.
So look for all that and more on the show's website.
And thank you again to all of my terrific guests,
Matt Brawner.
Thank you, guys.
It was a lot of fun.
Devin Adjiebe.
It was a great show.
A joy to be here.
And Rosa Salazar.
And this is one of those things I sort of discourage
when somebody's, that's just a personal, right?
That's not the name of a famous person.
I think it's a shout-out.
I think it's sort of a shout-out
at one of their friends or something.
How do you pronounce it?
I'm going to try.
I'm going to give it my best,
and then I know how this one's pronounced.
Thank you for being here, you guys.
Come back Saturday if you're not tax-marching,
or if you're taxed from marching.
As always, Brian Pultila is a shithead.
That guy sucks.
Did I say that right, Christy?
Yeah.
Okay, is this the guy you have beef with?
No, it's the guy that told me to listen to your podcast.
It's the guy that recommended the podcast?
You're calling him a shithead?
That kind of backfired.
That doesn't seem nice.
And of course, the IRS is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his view and prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart
for you, cause Doug
loves movies!
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