Doug Loves Movies - Demi Adejuyigbe, Maz Jobrani, Megan Neuringer and Dustin Ybarra guest
Episode Date: May 17, 2016Live from the UCB Sunset, Doug welcomes Megan Neuringer and Dustin Ybarra and first-time guests Demi Adejuyigbe and Maz Jobrani to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy a...nd California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats with 50-azer popcorn kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see.
But Doug loves pooping ears!
Hey, hey, hey everybody.
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
Coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater,
Sunset Boulevard location in Los Angeles. It's Monday, May 16th, 2016, and I want to see
some goddamn name tags. They're all in the front row apparently. And quite a nice
selection. And welcome back baseball Jordan everybody! It's been a while. When was the last time you saw show months
UCB on a Tuesday the other UCB why are you gonna come back tomorrow night at
UCB at Franklin at 930 okay well that's alright I've just appreciate you showing
up at all yeah well you know whatever you know, whatever you got to do.
You going to Disneyland a lot still?
Yeah.
We got to run into each other there.
I'm going 20 times this year.
Let's do some...
Oh, you can put your name tags down.
Thank you.
Thank you for...
I just wanted to make sure there were some return of the Jason.
Doug plugs.
I already mentioned tomorrow night,
UCB Theater Franklin 930
That's Tuesday May 17th
If you're listening to this too late
St. Louis Douglas Movies
Is at Helium Comedy Club on Wednesday
May 25th
It will be a gas
So get your tickets before
They are gone
Such a dumb joke.
Are gone? Get it?
If you can't make it Wednesday, St. Louis,
come to my stand-up show on Thursday,
May 26th, and bring a name tag
for a chance to play Last Man Stanton.
Boston, May 28th. New York City, May
30th. Bloomington, Indiana, June
4th. DouglasMovies.com
Don't make me say
DouglasMovies.com again.
In the prize bag
tonight we have
a Douglas Movies t-shirt.
Another shirt
that I got yesterday
that
it's just not the kind of style
not the kind of style I would wear
but it's kind of a cool shirt. It says
support Idaho comedians.
Because there's not enough joking about potatoes in the world.
Oh, speaking of potatoes, I got some deluscious cookies.
I don't know what that has to do with potatoes.
But it's just another thing you can eat.
And I think there's a pipe in here from Peacemaker.
There sure is.
One of these rubber pipes.
And then, from my personal VHS collection,
there's two in every bag these days
until I don't have any anymore.
An episode of Gross Point
called Bare Naked in America.
That sounds like a fun one.
Sounds like 22 minutes of fun on VHS.
And a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode entitled Dead Man's Party.
I don't remember that one specifically, but I'm sure it was good.
All of that is in the prize bag, plus all the stuff that my guests brought.
So let's get them out here.
Please give a big warm welcome.
Welcome.
To Demi Dube, Maz Jabrani, Megan Nerger, and Dustin Ibarra.
Megan Nerger and Dustin Ibarra!
You nailed it on the last name.
Hey you guys, thanks for being here. Let's talk to the first-time guest's first,
making his first appearance on the show,
is Amaz Drabrani, everybody.
Hey, man. Thank you for having me.
This is cool.
I'm glad you like it.
I'm glad you're into it.
We were backstage, and he was like,
so do you record this and put it out,
or is it just a live show?
And I was like, that's a great idea, just do a live show and not fuck around
with the recording part.
Yeah, man, make people find you.
All live, all the time.
Yeah, now this is actually going to be out tomorrow,
so the question is for you,
because the reason I asked you to be on the show,
I've known you for a while,
you're a very funny comedian,
but you have written and acted in, starred in,
played the titular character, as they like to say.
Jimmy
Vestwood? Is that how you
pronounce it? Vestwood? Vestwood. You got
it right. And what's
the rest of the title? So it's Jimmy
Vestwood, American Hero.
And American is spelled with a K. American
with a K. The reason it's Jimmy
Vestwood is because he's a guy who comes from, an immigrant who comes from Iran to America.
And he's always wanted to be an American hero like his hero was.
He used to watch Steve McQueen movies back in Iran.
So he wins the green card lottery to come to America.
And he wants to be a cop like McQueen was in the movie Bullet.
Sure.
And once he gets to America, he realizes modern day America doesn't embrace immigrants
the way it used to. So the only job
he can... Yeah, I don't know if you've been watching...
No, I haven't noticed any
problems along those lines.
Just a few, you know.
So he ends up getting... The only job he can get
is working as a security guard at a
Persian grocery store. And he's
got to save the world from there.
Right, so he's got to bring all world from there right so he's got a
he's got to bring all the problems to that store yeah well the thing I
describe it as like the Persian Pink Panther meets Borat and the title the
title the the tagline is heroes are not born they are imported that's right I
even wrote it down because I love taglines we do a game on the show
sometimes where I read the tag lines for movies and people have to guess which one it is.
So you already worked your own tagline into the conversation.
There you go.
I love it.
That's awesome.
And where can people see it?
So it just came out last weekend in L.A., Encino, Irvine, and D.C.
By the way, per screen average average we are right behind Captain America.
Wow!
Yes, so an Iranian
almost beat Captain America.
Yeah, that's the
key problem of only being on four screens.
Yeah, the problem is
that's slowing you down a little bit.
A little bit, but we're going to expand
to New York as well as Toronto
next week and then we're looking to expand beyond that.
And we got a second weekend out of it because we did so well.
So people can go to JimmyVestwood.com.
That's the word Westwood, which is where he lives.
But Iranians can't say W, so we say V instead of B.
So he's JimmyVestwood, American hero.
So JimmyVestwood.com has all the listings.
People can find it there. Right on. So
check it out, you guys. And what'd you
bring for the prize bag?
I brought a couple of things. So I've got
my stand-up comedy special
that was a Showtime special
called I'm Not a Terrorist, But I've Played One on
TV. Yeah, because
your IMDb page, man, it is
chock full of those roles.
Yeah, man. Like you were page, man, it is chock full of those roles. Yeah, man.
Like you are, you're in a lot of stuff.
Yeah, well, you know, it's funny because I always say like when you're of Middle Eastern descent, when you first start acting in Hollywood and you go out for an audition, they go, oh, you're Iranian.
Great.
Can you say I will kill you in the name of Allah?
And you go, yeah, I could.
But what if I played the doctor in this movie?
And they go, great, then you can hijack the hospital.
So that's the kind of parts I was getting.
And that's one of the reasons I wrote Jimmy Vestwood,
is because I think it's the first hero of Middle Eastern descent in an American movie.
I can't think of any.
I can't either.
I mean, there was Prince of Persia, but that was Jake Gyllenhaal.
Is he not Middle Eastern?
He's not Middle Eastern.
Jake Gyllenhaal?
He's got to be Dutch or something, right?
I don't know.
He's half Jewish.
Half Jewish?
Yeah, I have radar for all of them.
There you go.
That's the Middle East, right?
It is the Middle East.
You're right.
That's half the Middle East.
You are a...
The Jews you know are not Middle Eastern.
They're like Ashkenazi, Middle European.
They don't have...
How do you know which Jews he knows?
We're on a...
She has my roster of Jews.
Oh, I see. Okay.
Go ahead and pass that down here.
Thank you for bringing that. And I heard there's a
you might have a t-shirt? Yes,
I have a t-shirt. My co-writer of Jimmy
Vestwood, American Hero, there he is,
Amir Ohepsy, and he brought a t-shirt.
Can you toss the shirt down here?
Throw it down. Where are you?
I can't see. He couldn't get good seats.
Yeah, pass it along.
We're so low budget, we can't even get good seats for the co-writer.
That's how.
No, it's a good seat up there.
No, not you guys.
I'm saying our show couldn't.
There's nothing keeping that guy from keeping the shirt.
You gave us a ticket, so I appreciate that.
Here's the shirt, you guys.
It's beautiful.
Yeah.
Jimmy Vestwood, American hero.
Yeah, I love it.
Go ahead and join us, Dustin.
Oh, what's up, man?
No, I mean, scoot your chair up.
Oh, I didn't want to block you guys.
You're so separate.
It's weird.
I don't want to be that guy who is in front of two people,
and you guys are eating, and I'm like, oh, hey, what's up, guys?
I'm here, too.
Here's my big hair and shit.
I'm not eating.
All right, we'll talk to you in a minute.
Exactly.
I know it.
Demi, Digi eBay is here today. Hi! Hello. Howdy.
We had the how do you pronounce your name conversation backstage. I should have told you. I wanted to see how you would do it. When you're looking at it on the paper, I can't even guess. A-D-E-J-U-I-I-G-E.
And as far as I know, and from now on I'm going to pronounce it,
a-did-you-e-bay.
Yep. Nailed it.
Which is just the sentence, uh, did-you-e-bay?
Did you?
I'm glad it works.
It's perfect. That's the right pronunciation.
I'm sure my parents were like,
someone just said it at the hospital,
and they're like, that's it.
It's your last name now.
I love it.
And you are the co-host of Gilmore Guys podcast
on iTunes and elsewhere.
Have you watched them all yet?
No, we just started the seventh season,
which is the last season.
They're rebooting it, so not really the last season.
The worst season, apparently, but we're close.
We're almost done, and I will be free from that hell.
I'm kidding.
The show's great.
Check it out.
Oh, no, it's a really fun show,
but you did also sort of set yourself up
by saying I'm going to watch every episode of the show
I never cared about and then podcast about it.
I didn't think it would take two years, is the thing.
But I'm having a good time.
We're all having laughs.
Yeah, and you were excited to hear
they're making more of it?
Yeah.
No, no, my honest reaction was like, okay.
It's only four more episodes.
It's not like for us that we're all of a sudden like,
it's happening, it's all back,
and it's gonna be here forever. It's like, it's four more episodes, then it's done forever, so. That's what like for us that we're all of a sudden like, it's happening, it's all back, and it's going to be here forever.
It's like it's four more episodes, then it's done forever.
That's what they're saying? Four and out?
Four and out. If people love it, they'll
make more? They'll do a spin-off or something
where it's like, now they're all in
Brooklyn. Better call
Lori or something like that. So you don't
like the show? No, I do like the show.
I've just never seen it before. Until
like now. Okay. Yeah, my co-host has seen it. until like now okay yeah my superfan friend yeah who's really into the show
yeah and they have a nice time talking about it yeah Doug was on it yeah I'm
this very stage had a good old time yeah what'd you bring for the prize bag I
brought a few things oh my goodness this my goodness. This is all because Megan
decided to put her gift in my bag.
I was trying to hide it,
make it a sweet surprise.
In that case, that's not what it was.
I brought a Gilmore
Guys hat.
I brought a
Gilmore Guys sweatshirt.
I have one of those. They're amazing. Megan has the
first ever one of these in which we are posed with the boys of Gilmore Girls
in a Backstreet Boys style pose.
I brought a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt.
Wait, what?
A copy of Banana Gray.
Why do you have a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt?
Because I have been in this very audience and won before and the shirt does not fit me.
And this was all the shit from the prize bag?
Yeah, I almost brought a copy of Schmovie, but I couldn't
find it.
Banana Graves is what they give out at Midnight.
It is, yes. And Doug
passed it on to the show and now I'm passing it
back on to the show. I brought
a comic, this Marvel Civil
War. Don't get too excited, it's not the
one they made the movie about.
A copy of Call of Duty that came with my PlayStation.
I don't want it.
Please take it.
Oh, that's a good one.
And then the bag is a Gilmore Guys tote bag.
So you can have a ton of merch for a show you don't watch.
Whoever wins tonight is really,
I hope you have like a hand cart.
Yeah.
Or lots of friends to help you because it's quite a lot of stuff.
And Megan Neuringer is here, everybody.
14th time on the show.
Is it?
I don't know.
I just saw my life flash before my eyes. Is it? I don't know. So it sounds about right, doesn't it?
And so you really put a lot of thought in your prize bag select gift.
I just first wanted to say that you also pronounced my last name Adichiewebe.
I've just been too shy to correct you all this time.
I mean, Nerenger's not the easiest.
This is the toughest panel of names I've probably encountered.
Didgenerenger? It's multi-culti. Oh, yeah. What kind of name is yours? It's Nigerian. easiest this is the toughest panel of names i've probably encountered uh did you know ranger it's
multi-culti oh yeah what kind of name is yours it's nigerian oh fantastic and what kind of name
is your last name it's like eastern german you can only say german words with that much anger
and uh dustin is uhada, which is Mexican
but that's a crapshoot
my mom got around, so we're still kind of like
I could be Islander
my mom had a bus pass
it is very
it's like a world cup soccer thing
it really is, I hope you guys don't start
screaming and fighting
just get mad at Doug, you white guy.
Why?
It's really tight.
Tonight we really are here to decide what's the best country.
And they're each going to play for a country instead of an audience member tonight.
I'm playing for Nigeria.
I get to choose a different country.
I'm going to choose Brazil.
They seem scrappy.
I like that.
The president just voted out.
They're looking for a leader.
You lose your president, that's not a strong country.
I'm going to go with a different... Portugal?
They doing good?
I think there's no...
No one's jailed for drugs there.
That's where I want to go.
I'm repping you tonight.
Let's lose.
Megan brought a big box of something I brought my favorite beverage grapefruit flavored La Croix sometimes pronounced by um uncultured people La Croix right uh it's like so delicious there's no
sugar there's no sodium there's no additives it's no sodium, there's no additives, it's just pure refreshment.
Whoever gets this box, it's going to be missing a single LaCroix.
Because that's what you're going to enjoy during the show?
Yeah, in part.
And I just want you to know that it's not poison, it's safe, you can have it.
Well, it's good that you're showing them by drinking one.
I'll drink the first one so you know it's safe.
Are you the spokesperson for LaCroix?
I know some people who are invested in the company.
Okay.
Is that only found at Trader Joe's?
It's not found at Trader Joe's.
I wish. I had to get this at fucking Gelson's.
You can find LaCroix anywhere.
Does it taste good at room temperature?
Do you want to have the first sip, Doug?
No.
Do you want to have the second sip after I've warmed it up with my mouth? No, just
try it, though, and let us know.
I like anything at any
temperature. Oh, okay. There's no wrong
way to enjoy a LaCroix.
I'm the
new spokesperson. I tricked you.
That's why I came out of my bag. It's LaCroix.
You know, Demi
has never tried a LaCroix.
And I refuse to.
There's no good wine.
Oh, but there it is right in front of you. There you go.
It's right in your face.
Try it.
Just sip it.
I don't want to.
Is it because of my germs?
Yes.
What about cracking a new one?
You're going to have one by the end of it.
We've got to get somebody impartial to drink this shit.
You try it.
I try it.
We all try it.
Yeah, I'll go LaCroix.
The communal LaCroix. The communal LaCroix.
This is how countries come together.
And it'll also make the prize bag way less.
That's true.
If we take a lot of those cans out of there.
They do this at the UN all the time.
This is how they make peace. It's not great.
No.
Oh, whoa, this is crazy.
Wow. It's great. Fantastic.
It's not great. It's not grapefruit flavor.
I've never drank after this many minorities before.
We should have let you go first.
Oh, it tastes good.
I don't know if it was you guys, you know?
It could have been my backwash.
Yeah, yeah.
Quite a mixer.
Here, have some, Doug.
I spit lemonade in there.
It's almost like nothing happens when you take a sip of it.
It's like a little bit better than drinking
your own mouth.
It tastes like sparkling
water that someone squeezed a little
bit of grapefruit into.
As little as possible.
They're trying to save money, these guys.
Just a touch of flavor.
That's all I need.
Are there calories in it?
That's zero calories, right?
If there's fucking calories in that, I'm going to be pissed.
All the calories, none of the flavor.
Dude, yeah, that tasted like no calories at all.
I would love for Doug to cut to the ads
in the middle of the episode and be like,
this episode brought to you by LaCroix.
I'm not going to say it wrong.
LaCroix.
No, it's so funny. The thing on the back, calories, zero. Total fat, zero. Troy. I'm not going to say it wrong. La Croix. La Croix.
No, it's so funny.
The thing on the back, calories, zero.
Total fat, zero.
It's like that song, my name is no.
My fat is no.
My number is no.
My calories are no.
My sodium, kind of high.
Carbohydrates, zero.
Sugars, zero.
Flavor, zero. Protein, zero.
It literally says zero for everything. It's just water. Flavors, zero. Protein, zero. It literally says zero for everything.
It's just water.
It's just water?
They made water worse.
Why does anyone enjoy this?
La Croix means worse water in French.
It's not true.
She's losing sponsorship dollars by the minute.
People are still going to try it, Megan,
just because of your love for it.
Yeah, in Flint, Michigan, maybe.
Oh, get him.
See? I read the times.
That'd be the worst thing a person could do
is ship a case of that to people
in Flint.
We also have this big bucket
of piss, too.
I'm sorry.
You know the investors.
Shit.
No, no, no.
I'm going to send just a single can of La Croix to Flint, Michigan.
Just one can.
That should do it.
They'll be like, this tastes exactly like the thing that is the water.
Demi, you're a hater.
I am a hater.
Only of La Croix.
Have you ever added some lime to that just to give it more flavor?
Absolutely.
And like a shit ton of vodka
and then you just have a perfect cocktail.
That's why you love it so much. You're drunk all the time
drinking it. Vodka-qua?
It's a vodka-qua.
Fancy. Vodka-qua.
Vodka-qua, mon amour.
There's no bad wa to enjoy a vodka-qua.
That's not big.
Just bottle the whole, put the vodka
and the vodka together.
Maybe if they pay me, we'll see how I feel
So
Take another sip
I can't stop thinking about it
I can't stop thinking about how
When you drink it nothing happens
Your life doesn't change in any way You just have a can in your hand I can't stop thinking about how when you drink it, nothing happens. Nothing happens.
Your life doesn't change in any way.
You just have a can in your hand that's still got more of it in it.
How do they make something that is just zero?
Like, how does that work?
They just got water and were like, get the dirt out of it or mix it back in.
It's like they got rainwater.
Let me start this over.
It's like they got rainwater and forgot to filter it.
There we go.
By the end of this can, you're going to be loving it.
I don't know.
I'm not going to finish it.
I still can't even recall what happens when you drink it.
You're quenched.
You're quenched.
And to be honest, for me, I feel like it gives me a personality.
Is it only in grapefruit flavor?
Oh, this is the bad flavor.
There's like a lot of flavors.
If you did not have that label on the can,
would you say this is grapefruit?
Or would you go, this is slightly flavored water?
I don't know what flavor.
Yeah, just taste it like sparkling water
with something, like I said.
So is every other flavor also just a little bit?
Yes. Yeah, it got like a flavor also just a little bit? Yes.
Yeah, it got like a mean look from a piece of fruit.
Maybe that's what La Croix means.
It's just a little bit.
I'm going to have to cut off the conversation about this beverage when it hits five minutes.
Sorry.
I had a good walking dead bit about them finding it,
but oh well.
No, we got to move on, you guys.
I've got so much planned for you today.
We're gonna toss La Croix into the audience.
The first thing I want to do is,
it's not really, it's kind of a game.
It's called...
I'm Dustin Ibarra.
Huh?
Oh, Dustin wins.
That's how long we talk about La Croix.
I forgot to introduce you.
Oh, yeah.
I brought two movies in my gift bag.
Jesse Stone, Sea of Change,
or no, Sea Change,
and Jesse Stone, Death in Paradise.
There was a sale,
and when you see one Jesse Stone,
you gotta get two,
or else the other will get lonely.
Tom Selleck, sorry.
Well, the first one
ends on such a quick thing.
I brought a cake
that says enjoy.
Jesus, don't.
Yeah.
I even brought the frosting, too,
if you want to change it,
you know.
And this might be poisonous.
I don't know.
You know, this is...
No, it's good, guys.
I did it in my car.
I put the... I did it in my car.
Cake and LaCroix.
What a night this person's going to have.
You're going to have the least flavorful night of all time.
There it is.
All right, thank you for reminding me about that.
Oh, you can pass all of the prizes down here.
Megan, you can keep yours.
It's awfully heavy for no calories. That's what I'm saying. What is the weight? It's awfully heavy for no calories That's what I'm saying
What is the weight?
It's the can
Oh my god
It's just a simply punishing case of lacrosse
Who wants one of these stupid things?
Yeah
These are the new donuts
Get ready
Look at how many people are raising their hands
People of taste
Because people like free things
For those of you at home
No one is raising their hand.
There's a couple of people.
There are less hands up than there are remaining.
Shake it up, so be careful.
Nothing might come out of it when you open it.
I saw someone in the first row take a sip and then make this grimacing face.
That's the face of refreshment.
No, that's the face of pain.
If anybody else wants one,
just come down and take it.
Doug is just kicking my gift.
Oh, wait, I gotta keep one for the prize bag.
Alright.
So I wanted to try something that's a new thing.
Someone put it back!
Yes! It's a new thing. Someone put it back. I put it back. Yes.
We'll leave that one for Elijah.
You know what?
Sir, I see your neg, and I raise you.
I will sleep with you.
Okay?
I see what you're doing.
It worked.
This new thing I want to try is called MyMDB.
And basically what it is is the person who's going to win is the person who looks at their own IMDB page the most.
So you might not want to win. It might be embarrassing.
I don't know. I don't know.
I like to look at old Dusty.
Who wants to go first?
Dustin, what are the top four?
You get a point for each.
What are the top four things that you are known for according to IMDB?
Gotham.
No.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, we bought a zoo.
Yes.
Californication.
No.
One more guess.
Oh, it's just movies right not always but generally
it is the movie database 21 and over mm-hmm so you got two right good job can I get a job
what are you sure I've been in more than that this feels like man I guess one of his? They had Hop and Ted 2. Yes! Okay.
And I swear I look more than that.
I just have bad memory.
Right, and it also changes.
They base it on a very strange metric that flips and flops around.
Yeah, it is some scientific thing.
Hey, Maz, what do you think your top four are?
Now, is this the top four on the list?
You know, it says
best known for and has four different projects. What do you think your top four are now is this the top four on the list or like you know it says?
Most best known for and has four different projects they tend to be movies But if you do TV as well, then some of those might creep in there
I didn't know that existed now. I'm gonna go check it out. Well. You're gonna hear the answer right now
Yeah, then I wanted to you guys that's known for Friday after next the yes. All right. The Interpreter?
Yes.
Two for two.
Jimmy Vestwood?
No, he's not in the top four just yet. Not yet.
Come on.
I am Jimmy Vestwood.
How could I not be known?
Like I say, it's a weird system that they use.
Boom, boom, boom.
And 13 going on 30.
Yes.
Woo!
Yeah.
He's got a four.
The one you missed was something called In the Dark.
That was like a short film.
Okay.
All right.
They get weird over there.
Yeah.
All right, so you got three out of four.
Let's go to Megan.
Okay.
Wait, this is just what they think I'm the most known for,
but not like my family members.
If your family members run IMDb, then yes.
It is your family that made this decision.
Kroll Show?
No. At Midnight?
No.
La Croix? No.
La Croix the movie?
Forgettable Beverages?
Yes. Oh, Slow Learners?
No.
I literally look at IMDb every day.
I bet I can guess one of yours.
You can guess one of mine?
I think so.
I let Demi guess one of yours.
Okay, he's getting your last guess?
Yeah.
Okay.
Bachelorette.
Yes.
I know you better than you know yourself.
So Megan gets one point.
Does she get that point?
They also said something called Extreme.
That's a writing job.
Okay.
That's what you're best known for.
You're known for it.
Escape from Brooklyn.
Oh, that's a web series I did.
And number one, Silent Library.
Oh, fuck me.
I love that show.
I wrote for that show.
They have like really old, ancient writing credits. How do you write for that show they have like like really old ancient writing
credits how do you remember that show I thought it just happened I have a feeling
they don't really research it they just have a guy who goes I gotta call I gotta
do IMDB Pro and change that metric that's what's that's what's that's how
they get you to do IMDB Pro okay cuz that that metric. That's what's up there. That's how they get you to do IMDb Pro.
Oh, I don't know about...
Okay, because that sucks.
Yeah, okay.
No wonder I'm not working right now.
One of my top four is a movie
I didn't even know I was in.
It's a weird thing.
It's weird how they do it.
So, Demi, what do you think?
For mine?
Yeah.
At Midnight.
Correct.
Keith and Heath.
What? Keith and Heath?
Uh-uh. I have like three
credits on IMDb. It's weird that that's not there.
Drift? Uh-uh.
What? What am I in?
I don't do things.
Was I
in Star Wars? No. Is that me?
Which one? Full title.
The Force Awakens? No.
I thought it was me.
Nope.
And I truly don't know.
So you get one point for that.
And they list the 2015 VMAs.
Yeah, wrote for those.
Stone Quackers?
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
That's an ADHD cartoon.
There's no way you've seen that.
That's a cartoon that I was like an office coordinator while it was being made.
Okay.
And next time on Lonnie.
Yeah, I was a PA on a web series
that Red Hour made.
Okay. That's your top four, dude.
Great.
You guys are really known for some stuff
that you didn't know you were even known for.
I can't believe Star Wars isn't there.
Yeah, that is weird.
So congrats to
Maz. He won that game.
Woo!
He wins nothing.
Megan, what was
the last movie you saw in any format?
Oh, I just saw the documentary The Wolf Pack Megan, what was the last movie you saw in any format? In any format?
Oh, I just saw the documentary The Wolf Pack recently.
You did?
I did.
Very charming movie, isn't it?
Yeah.
Charming.
Was I charmed?
I mean, it was fascinating.
Right?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you know, they just made something of themselves considering they were all shut
in by their father, you know?
Yeah.
Their love of movies has propelled them into the limelight.
Creative.
Structurally, I was like, cool, they're trapped in the house, and it's a group of seven brothers stuck in the house.
They don't cut their hair.
They live on the Lower East Side of New York.
They never leave the house.
And then suddenly it's like, again, we're out of the house.
And I was like, oh, okay, but I thought they were just going to stay in the house. And then suddenly it's like, good, we're out of the house. And I was like,
oh, okay. But I thought they were just going to stay in the house. I was disappointed they
had freedom.
How long were they living in the house?
Their whole lives.
By the time they're like teenagers to almost 20, that's when they start to get out of the
clutches of their abusive alcoholic father and and get out and about New York City.
They go, they ride the subway and they go to Brighton Beach
and that's really cool,
because they all wear sunglasses
and they've got this long hair and they're like, cool.
And they've all got bad teeth
because they don't have braces
because they never go to the doctor.
Yeah.
That'd feel cool if Bruce Willis was in it, you know?
Maybe the expendable guys.
Wait, wait. Like if they made that, That'd feel cool if Bruce Willis was in it. Maybe the Expendables guys? Wait.
If they made that, because it's a documentary, right?
The Expendables, yeah.
No.
The Wolfpack, if they made an actual movie about it.
Oh, yeah.
I thought.
I was like, this should be fictionalized.
Well, it'd have to be an all-Hispanic cast, right?
Why?
Aren't they all Hispanic, the kids?
Their father is from South America
and their mom is from like Iowa.
So you're saying in the fictional version
Bruce Willis breaks them out?
Yes. Oh, that's cool.
Because you've got to get it done in an hour
and a half. I agree.
Yeah, two hours. Yeah, the documentary just ends with them
like everybody sort of realizing, hey, maybe we should
go out every once in a while.
And then they do. So they weren't really being held there I mean they kind
of were it's it's just it's interesting because I think the whole family is
still friendly I don't think they'd like got out of there and don't don't talk to
their dad I think they still some of the guys I don't know I think I think it's a
split a little bit some are still oh you know into the family and others are more
into you know being out in the world. But they're definitely film nuts
and I should do an episode of this show with them.
Yes, you should.
They would be, yeah, because they reenact
films. All they get to do is watch old movies
and watch television and stuff.
So they're obsessive and they perfectly
reenact them. I met one of them and I found out they do not listen
to podcasts or enjoy stand-up comedy
very much. So they weren't
familiar with me.
Demi, what about you?
What's the last movie
you saw? Captain America Civil War.
Baby. Not based on the
comic that you brought. Not based on
the actual Civil War either.
That's what that was? A comic book about
the actual Civil War?
No. That would be really weird.
No. There are like 70
different Civil War comics and I was like
if I'm going to watch the movie I want to read the comic too.
Got the wrong one so
didn't bother reading it.
And it's bent so enjoy the prize.
And you liked the movie? I loved it.
Yeah. It was really good. A friend
like two days later was like
have you seen Civil War yet? And I said no just so I could go
see it again in 3D.
It's really good.
So you just pretended like you hadn't seen it the whole time?
Yeah, I was like, what?
Black Panther?
What's Iron Man going to do?
I knew.
They're like, stop talking during the movie.
And I was like, I can't.
You could sit there and, like, guess about things that you think are going to happen,
because you already actually know. I should have placed money. You could sit there and guess about things that you think are going to happen, because you already actually know.
I should have placed money.
You seem really smart.
Yeah.
I bet you Iron Man's going to show up, and then he walks in.
Seems like an easy bet, but I'd still lose somehow.
No, I mean seconds before he walks through the door.
Maz, what about you?
Have you seen anything lately?
Yeah, I watched the documentary Dreamcatcher on Netflix.
Is it Dreamcatcher?
What is the name of it?
Is that what it's called?
Well, the wrestling one.
What's it called?
Foxcatcher.
Foxcatcher.
Wait.
Dreamcatcher,
the documentary,
sounded fascinating.
Also, not a documentary.
I wasn't paying attention
to the title.
It was a documentary.
Oh, okay.
Foxcatcher.
No, it was originally,
you know,
they did a movie,
then they did a documentary as well. Oh, okay. I box catcher. No, it was originally, you know, they did a movie, then they did a documentary as well.
Oh, okay.
I was like, that's, okay.
Yeah.
I was very confused for a second. Listen, did you see the one with Steve Carell?
I didn't.
Have you seen the one with Steve Carell?
I saw that billboard.
It is disturbing and it's crazy, but then the documentary is even more disturbing.
Why do they use the same name?
Because it was the same story.
But just change the name. You're the one who went use the same name? Because it was the same story. Just change the name.
You're the one who went about the same name comic book.
And look how it turned out.
It was a mistake.
Right, audience? It's not the same title.
Team Foxcatcher.
There you go. They added a team to it.
But also, I wouldn't be surprised
with how the documentary probably existed
before the other one,
but now it's on Netflix just because people are interested because of the Steve Carell movie.
Yeah, you're probably right. I think that's how it went down.
Probably that's how it went down. But yeah,
I want to check that out because I didn't think the movie
was so great, but it is a very compelling
story. The story is crazy.
Yeah, that a guy just, that a coach
just shoots one of his...
Dustin? Yeah.
That was like me and Peteee I mean it's history
what do you got what have you seen I saw Keanu that was the last one I saw okay
I loved it that movie was hilarious oh my god my buddy Jamar Nabors was in it
he's hilarious and yeah I really dug it congratulations it wasn't a documentary
but it kind of was too too, at the same time.
In a way.
What?
In no way.
Isn't every movie kind of a documentary?
It doesn't have to be a documentary.
I was like, come on, Dusty.
Yeah, come on, man.
Keanu.
Get your shit together.
Have some La Croix.
It's brain food.
Get your shit out.
Thanks a lot, guys.
I have to open one.
I'm the only guy who's went for La Croix
and it wasn't there and I was like shit
there's one in the backwash of that can
you could just wipe off that can because that man
looks purely disgusting
wipe it off
if there's any way we could just stop talking
about La Croix
it would be so awesome
no you're good?
it feels so good
it's so cold it's so cold.
It's so cold and bubbly.
Good throw.
Didn't go over.
Second try.
More people cheered for the demise of La Croix
than anything else tonight.
It's time for me to say, let the games begin.
Throw away your grapefruit beverage and show us your name tags.
Everybody on stage, you have to go and select from the audience
somebody that you would like to play on behalf of this evening if
you win they will get all of the contents of the
prize bags
And I apologize that the beverages have been all taken. I don't know what you're gonna do to wash down your cake
It's very nice quiet crowd during this process
it's very nice quiet crowd during this process Maz went deep and it might say something might be written on the back there might
be a post-it on the back don't don't read that out loud
my name's personal be careful Megan who you playing for I'm playing for leave it
to Brittany the beef is back.
What is that?
Like a laser disc or some shit?
This is...
In widescreen.
You're holding it.
I was like, this is clearly a record.
It's an LP of
Leave It to Beaver.
It's all the great sounds from
Leave It to Beaver.
And it's even like a reboot of Leave It to Beaver.
It's like a modern Leave It to Beaver. I don't even remember that
happening, but it's not that modern because it's a
Laserdisc. Christopher McDonald
was in this? Demi?
Yeah.
I'm playing for Matica.
A play on Gattaca.
Yeah, that's a pretty cool poster.
I don't really care for how it's all, you can't just flatten it out. It's all rolly.
Yeah, you put a book on it,
that'll flatten it out.
Matt's face.
Some guy didn't bring in name tags, giving
instructions.
Someone's a librarian or something. Matt's face is guy didn't bring in name tags Giving instructions Someone's a librarian or something Matt's face is over Ethan Hawks
And Doug you are the new Jude Law
Oh I've been saying that every day lately
Very good
Get Mattica
Maz what do you got
Dazed and Andrews
Yeah
He used a little post-it for that
They just put his name Andrew over confused
If you lose tonight
On the back
He put somebody that I have to call a shithead
So just pass that to me if you're not the winner
And then I'll have to say that
Special features is a shithead
And who do you have Dustin?
I have Where's Cooper,
but it's a World Waldo's,
ah,
World Waldo's book
with Cooper.
And post-it notes as well.
I don't know
if we went for the same.
I'm just going to come
right out and say it,
you guys.
You all suck
at picking name tags.
The one time.
Did you see this giant,
show that one again,
the Star Wars one.
Look at this.
Well, now he's got
to unroll his.
Put a book on it!
Sorry, Jason.
All right, actually, I take it back.
That one's not that great either.
The first time I was...
It's not a very creative group.
You're probably all in show business.
You're probably too busy learning your lines.
The first time I was picked from the audience of this show,
Gillian Jacobs just took my credit card.
Like, just take anything that you see in the audience.
Yeah, well, you know, you hold up something interesting,
somebody's going to touch it.
Yeah.
It's just a life lesson.
Right, like La Croix.
Something interesting.
No, no, no.
No more, no more.
You get a negative point for mentioning this beverage.
No!
For the rest of the show It's kind of like
The Shakespearean play
That you're not supposed to mention on stage
No longer are we allowed to mention
You know
The beverage
We'll call it the beverage
What do they say instead
They call it the witch's play
Scottish play
Scottish beverage The Scottish beverage You can say that if you want What do they say instead? They call it the witch's play? Scottish play.
Scottish beverage.
The Scottish beverage.
Yeah, you can say that if you want,
but I'd rather it not come up at all if it's possible.
Yeah.
Let's try it.
Let's play a new game.
Brand new game, everybody.
It was suggested on Twitter by someone with the Twitter handle Crayon Wayans,
which is a pretty fun Twitter handle.
Yeah.
Really?
No.
Yeah, it's a joke.
He's making fun.
I don't know if he's making fun of the Wayans, but his name's Crayon Wayans.
And he says he suggested a game involving the chapter titles on DVDs.
So I'm calling it Chapter 11 and it's
I'm going to name 11 chapters from a DVD in the right order but not, you know, the DVD
probably has 30, 40 chapters on it. I'm only going to say 11 of them. First person who
could just say out loud into their microphone the name of this movie, which means only people
with microphones get to guess.
And if you brought a microphone,
I will murder you.
What a funny loophole.
Somebody whips out their own.
Guess I'm in.
I got a Mr. Microphone on me.
Did you say it has 34 chapters?
I didn't say... It's got a lot of chapters,
more than I'm going to name.
And it's not going to be easy.
It's part of the fun.
Because these could apply to a lot of movies, I think.
Here we go.
Chapter one.
Golden Age.
Austin Powers and Goldmember.
That's terrific. I love that you jumped in with a guess, no matter how terrible it is I appreciate you you getting in there the next one's called
after school then we've got a track called family dinner help wanted Harry Haunted. Harry Potter? Mrs. Doubtfire. Full title.
No.
New and improved.
An important meeting.
What?
Glen Gary, Glen Ross?
Working Girl?
Secrets revealed.
Boogie Nights.
Wait.
I didn't say cock pulled out.
Out to Sea.
Isn't this game crazy?
Joe versus the Volcano.
Could this movie be?
Oh, Fifty First Dates.
No.
Damn it.
Don't be upset.
It's hard.
I'm mad at myself.
100 Mile Dash.
Forrest Gump.
No.
What'd you say?
Race.
A movie that's not out on TV.
Cast Away.
No.
100 Mile Dash.
He goes for 100 Mile Dash?
He's gotta keep fit on that island.
Okay, now this one might help out a little bit.
Bob's Confession. Uh-oh, Fight Club. What about Bob? Okay, now this one might help out a little bit.
Bob's Confession.
Uh-oh, Fight Club.
What about Bob?
No and no.
It didn't help out.
Bob's Confession.
But I heard one of those movies just imagine the other movie.
And finally, The Incredibles vs. The Omnidroid. The Incredibles versus the Omnidroid
The Incredibles
That's correct Demi
Demi did it
Guessed like at every point
And was wrong at every point
Yeah
But that is,
those are some really boring track titles
for what I think is a super fun movie.
Really gives it away at the end.
What's that?
Really gives it away at the end.
Yeah.
Well, I did that on purpose.
We didn't know what the second half was.
Because I had a feeling
nobody would have the answer by that point.
But 100 Mile Dash,
the kid's name is Dash.
Yeah.
So that was a pretty good clue for nerds.
How short is each chapter that you would have 40?
You know, they run maybe five, six, seven minutes maybe.
That's a long film.
Kind of like a reel in a movie, I think.
No, it's not as long as the reels are longer.
But anyway, it's crazy the number of chapters they give on the DVDs.
Every movie has like 30 or 40 of them if it's like a two-hour movie.
Every chapter is just like two lines of dialogue,
and then it's on to the next chapter.
That's what it seems like.
No, it's not.
One of the chapter titles for one of the Avengers movies is
What's the Play?, which is just something that Captain America says.
But when I told Captain America he said that on this stage,
or the other UCB, he said, no when I told Captain America, he said that on this stage, or the other UCB,
he said, no, I didn't.
I'm trying to get him to come back on the show, but he keeps getting exponentially more
famous.
I had a great time yesterday doing this show in Boise Idaho and coincidentally tomorrow is
International Day Against Homophobia
the acronym of which is Idaho so let's play a round of ABCD's nuts and we're
gonna spell the word homophobia and And here's how this works.
In honor of people not being homophobic tomorrow.
Today, day after tomorrow, go nuts.
But tomorrow is anti-homophobia day.
And so Demi won the first game, so he gets to go first.
And then we'll go to Megan Dustin and
then Maz and basically when I come to you with the next letter in the word
homophobia just name any movie that begins with that letter and you and
you're golden you get to move on but if you name the movie that I wrote down in
advance if you match me then you win the game automatically ooh yeah and like I
said we'll start with Demi
and the first letter of homophobia, of course, is H.
Hoosiers.
Good one.
It's always a good H title.
I went with a movie called Happy Endings.
Megan.
O.
A lot of O's in homophobia if you guys want to think ahead.
You're a stickler.
You're a stickler about the title.
Like it can't be like how I would refer to think ahead. You're a stickler. You're a stickler about the title. It can't be how I would refer to the movie.
It has to be what would be on...
It can't be how you refer to the movie?
I couldn't say
The Omen.
Right, because that begins with the letter T.
Right, okay.
O Brother,
Where Art Thou?
That's a good one. I went with Orlando
starring Tilda Swinton.
Yeah.
Dustin?
Men in Black.
Very good. M word. I went with Milk.
Oh, yeah.
Those are kind of the same movie.
Men in Dustin Lance Black.
Maz, you get O.
Any movie begins get O.
Any movie begins with O.
Is Octopussy?
Yeah, that does begin with O.
Yeah, good one.
I went with Oy vey, my son is gay.
Is there a theme here?
Demi, P is the next letter.
Philadelphia.
That's correct.
Oh my God.
I counted ahead and I was like, I know what's happening.
You can't pull the wool over my eyes.
I would have also accepted Poltergeist.
And the rest of them are How to Survive a Plague, Outrage, Brokeback Mountain, I Love You, Philip Morris, and A Single Man.
That's my tribute to gay cinema.
What?
Is Poltergeist a real movie?
I saw it listed under gay movies.
That's fantastic.
If it was a teenager that wrote the list,
it's probably just movies he didn't like.
Yeah, there's some great ones.
I had never heard of Oy Vei, My Son is So Gay, but it's hard to come up with a lot of O titles.
And Outrage sounds very interesting.
I want to check it out, because it's about,
it's directed by Kirby Dick,
who has a movie out now called The Hunting Ground,
and he also did the one about the MPAA ratings system.
This movie's not yet rated.
And he did a movie a long time ago called Outrage,
and it's about the hypocrisy of politicians
that are closeted gays,
but they also vote for anti-gay legislation.
Is Oy Vey My Son is Gay the prequel to My Son, My Son,
What Have You Done?
Just looking for info, guys, not a bit.
Just wants to know the truth.
Just want to know.
Yeah, exactly. just wants to know the truth just want to know yeah exactly all right so that uh you're killing it tonight you're winning every game down at one point welcome to the show la croix what he just
lost he just lost a point you guys i'm keeping it going till 10 p.m he's getting cocky he's
handicapping it for us that's awesome i'm gonna go into to go into the negatives. I was kind of joking, too,
because there's really no point system in this show tonight.
So what you're saying is we can say it as many times as we want.
Oh, damn it.
No, new rule.
You have to leave if you say it.
Okay.
I will have the UCB, the bouncer brigade, throw you out
because they get very intense around here when we need them to
let's play last man standing you guys let's do something
to really determine who our winner is and we're going to do it tournament style so we are going
to play for points so don't mess around with losing your points from now on uh first person
to five points i mean two apologize to is gonna win and
here's how this game works Maz I just get a name from somebody in the audience
of an actor or actress and then you guys take turns naming movies that that actor
actress is in I like to play along but I can't I't win. I just play for fun.
And what else do I have to tell him?
Oh, and you get your person whose name tag you chose
is your lifeline, and each round you can use
your lifeline once.
Okay.
If you run out of titles and you need some help.
And do we just go in circles?
Basically, yeah.
Okay.
We'll switch the order around, so you'll be second,
it'll be Demi, and then you, Dustin, me, Megan, and...
Oh, and if the first person to fall out in the first round,
next round you get to pick any actor or actress
that's in your own personal wheelhouse
to mess with all the other contestants.
So, like, losing's kind of good.
with all the other contestants.
So, like, losing's kind of good.
It's got a... There's a silver lining to it.
Sounds like it's good.
Yeah, but then,
so far, everyone's wasted the opportunity
by just naming somebody
that they don't know as many actors in
as the rest of us.
It's been funny.
So we'll see how it works out tonight.
Where is av underscore Ed?
Right here.
There you are.
You wrote to me on Twitter.
I was saying, hey, there's a few tickets left tonight.
And you wrote back, I will come to the show if you let me name the last man Stanton.
Did you have a ticket already?
I did not.
You did not.
You really did go out and buy a ticket when I told you, okay?
I got a ticket in life.
That is crazy and you're welcome ucb for that extra five dollars
uh what do you got for us who should we do av underscore ed william
now look
i really think it should be a rule that you have to pronounce the name correctly.
It's not William.
It's Willem.
He's talking about a different person.
Oh, William Defoe.
Let's do William Defoe.
Go.
Poltergeist. Poltergeist.
He's the star.
All right.
Well, so I let you say a name out loud.
Congratulations.
Let's go on to the next person.
Chino.
Where's Chino Latino Q?
Ah, there you go.
Front row, brought a name tag.
How long have you had your ticket for?
Two weeks.
That's what we're talking about.
And why are you called Chino Latino
half Mexican half Chinese
Dustin yeah we should hook up
what are you saying that for
you said that like
I'm just saying you might have different moms
I mean same mom, different dads.
I don't know.
You said that like, oh, half Latino.
Do you want to hang out with me later?
Come on, let's get the half Latinos together.
Perhaps we can discuss our heritage
and culture together.
Only half.
Alright, so what do you got for us?
What's your actual name?
Quentin. Oh, that's why the Q at the end.
Got it. Okay, Quentin, what do you got for usentin. Quentin. Oh, that's why the Q at the end. Yeah. Got it.
Okay, Quentin, what do you got for us?
Bradley Cooper.
Bradley Coops.
Now, since we're playing a few rounds, I'm going to allow it, but somebody said Bradley Cooper on a recent show, and I looked at the panelists, and they all kind of shrugged,
like, well, this is going to be a tough one.
So we'll see how we do today.
Demi, what do you got for Bradley Coops?
Burnt.
Okay.
Maz?
American Sniper?
Mm-hmm.
The Hangover?
Yes.
I'll say The Hangover 2.
Full title, Doug.
The Hangover 2. I title, Doug. The Hangover 2.
I was thinking of the next one.
I'll say Wedding Crashers.
Ooh, okay.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
The Hangover Part 3.
Did it three of those?
Yeah.
I know, right?
The Hangover Part 4.
No, I'm kidding.
What's the one
with Robert De Niro?
It's burnt. Do you want to use your lifeline?
I think I got it in my head.
It's just
they were in Philadelphia and it was
It's called burnt.
I'll give you a clue.
That expression was used by me just five minutes ago
that's in the title of this movie.
Oh, shit.
I should have been listening to you five minutes ago.
That would be...
Okay, Lifeline.
I'm your Lifeline.
Wet Hot American Summer.
And he's not even saying the one you're thinking of.
He went with Wet Hot American Summer.
He's not listening to me. Yeah. Alright, Dustin.
Silver lining is playbook. There you go.
Yeah.
Yeah, I said the silver lining
to Megan about
losing.
I will go
with Joy.
Yummy, Doug.
Well, you know.
Could be a strategy move here
for you to fail.
Oh, she's got one.
Limitless.
Oh, yeah.
I just thought of that myself.
American Hustle.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
God.
That guy's been in some movies.
Bradley Cooper, huh?
All right, so you don't have your lifeline,
but if you drop out now,
you get to pick the actor or actress for the next round.
Ooh, that's kind of it.
You know, that's a good strategy.
It's like a chess game.
Yeah, it's a good position to be in.
I'll take it.
I'll drop out.
All right, he's out.
Dustin?
I'm going to go with my lifeline.
What do you got, lifeline?
Buddy?
Guardian.
Huh?
Full title.
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Correct.
That wasn't even...
Was that my lifeline?
No.
That was just some guy?
Yeah, that was kind of crazy.
Oh, it's okay.
He's half Mexican, half Asian guy.
Wait, Baseball Jordan thinks that I play games
where the audience all just gets to guess?
No, it would be much harder.
I mean, I'd play a much harder game
than just name Bradley Cooper movies.
But, you know, I will call you his lifeline
and move on.
Hey, Baseball Jordan.
Yeah.
Strike.
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for my roommate who's clapping.
Because I was about to say,
flip over your name tag there, Dustin,
so I can refer to the person by name
if it comes up again.
Because people understand better
that they're only the one that gets to speak
if I only use their exact name.
Where's Cooper?
There you are.
Is that what you would have said?
Yeah.
Okay. Worked out pretty good. All right. name where's Cooper yeah is that what you would have said okay worked out
pretty good all right so I'm gonna go with lo ha good one I'll use my lifeline
who is it it's uh leave it to bring. The beef is back. Brittany. You don't have to read them. Just Brittany.
Brittany, what do you got?
Midnight Meat Train.
What?
What'd you say?
What's it called?
Midnight Meat Train.
Midnight Meat Train?
I'm going to allow it just because that's some balls if it doesn't exist.
It's real.
Now that sounds like the prequel to Oy, My Son is Gay.
That's a real movie.
Midnight Meat Train.
I auditioned for that now.
Did you like MMT?
Midnight Meat Train to Georgia.
Yeah, you know me.
Okay, Demi?
Serena.
Yes, I was having trouble thinking of what the name was in that.
That's another Jennifer Lawrence.
They love working together, those two.
They're inseparable.
Yeah.
All right, so Maz is out, and Dustin is lifeline-less at this point.
Yeah, I'm going to have to balance.
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'm going to have to balance.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, okay.
Let me try to see if I can think of one real quick here.
Nope.
Megan? Megan?
Wasn't he in a soldier movie besides the one that was named?
Besides American Sniper?
Yeah.
Probably.
Of Burnt.
Green really brings out his eyes.
I want to...
No.
Okay.
I don't know.
Okay.
She's out.
10 Cloverfield Lane.
What?
He's the voice on the phone in the beginning of 10 Cloverfield Lane.
Oh, okay.
Wow.
I mean, that's just rubbing it in because you won that round anyway.
Yeah, that's great.
Good job.
One point.
You shouldn't clap.
You shouldn't.
One point for Mr. Djibe.
And I'm just going to write down D.
D-M-M.
Oh, that's a conflict.
And another D.
Oh, this is not going to work at all.
That's more letters than my first name.
I match up my guests, so there's only so many first letters of their names I have to deal with.
Okay, so that means Maz was first to drop out.
Yeah.
Yeah, so you get to pick.
And then when we start off the other direction, it'll go to Demi next.
Who would you like us to use now?
John Heard.
Whoa.
God damn it.
John Heard?
John Heard. John Heard. Yeah. John Heard? John Heard.
John Heard.
Yeah.
John Heard?
Very cleverly.
Heard.
H-E-A-R-D.
Willem Heard.
My lifeline better get IMDb ready.
John fucking Heard.
All right.
Damn.
Oh, actually, Demi has to go first, I think, right?
Yeah.
Lifeline?
1984.
1984.
Okay.
I think you're thinking of John Hurt, but I'm going to let it go because Demi's going to be out the next time it comes to him anyway.
Megan?
Don't admit it.
Do you know?
Alien.
Oh, she's going to her lifeline?
And you're saying alien because you're also thinking John Hurt.
The man's name is John Hurt.
Hurt.
Are you hurting me?
Yeah, H-E-A-R-D.
Yeah.
She's a British actor.
No.
No.
You're thinking of John Hurt.
John Hurt.
Don't admit it.
Mine was right.
I don't know what he's talking about up there.
I'll go with chilly scenes of winter.
Dustin?
Oh my God.
I am so fucked on this one.
Where's Cooper?
Body?
My guy?
Yeah, Cooper?
Give it up.
John Hurt.
Not to be confused with William Hurt.
What?
What?
He said The Dark Knight.
The Dark Knight?
That sounds right.
Yeah, yeah, he played Batman.
What is he playing at?
A smuggler? a smuggler is this guy like an extra what's the deal what never mind yeah I don't think he's in that boss
well I put him in the movie that's why I brought him in because I know other
movies he's in because I have checked them out.
He's a great actor.
He's in Jimmy Vestwood,
American Hero.
Oh, you bastard.
Yes.
What other movies has he done?
A lot of other movies.
Like what?
You guys all,
Amidala,
Wind of the Red?
I got another,
I'll guess again.
I know one.
What do you mean you'll guess again?
You went to your lifeline
and your lifeline didn't know shit.
It's over for you.
He was also in Leaves of Grass.
What?
What are you guys doing?
Can we play the game?
Yeah, it's my turn, right?
Yeah, it's Debbie's turn.
Leaves of Grass.
What is he playing in?
I haven't seen Leaves of Grass.
I just read the back and I was like, this isn't for me.
I don't like John Heard movies.
You do not know who John Heard is. He's the star of Leaves of grass. I just read the back and I was like, this isn't for me. I don't like John Heard movies. You do not
know who John Heard is.
He's the star of Leaves of Grass.
No, he's not.
Alright, Megan.
Go ahead. Is he in Irreconcilable Differences?
Maybe. He might be.
You can't ask it like a question.
We're looking for confidence in our players.
Is he?
Is he in a fucking... Not is he, sorry.
He's in fucking
irreconcilable differences.
That sounds right.
No, he's not.
That's why I asked.
She sounded pretty confident.
He might be in it.
But she lost already in this round so it
doesn't it doesn't really matter I'm trying to think of another one because
he's a great character actor who's in a bajillion things a lot of its TV but
he's done tons of movies tell me what I would know him for like anything like
the main thing for fuck's sake yeah or us chilly scenes I believe he was... Yeah, or Chili Scenes of Winter.
I believe he was a sidekick.
He was like the lead in that.
He was the...
You want me to tell you?
No, no, no.
I'm trying to...
Poltergeist?
I'm going to keep saying it.
I have no idea who's in that movie,
so that's not going to ever count.
But I'm feeling sadness for John Heard
and for me right now, because I
know I've seen him in a bunch of stuff and he's just always, he's just always a solid,
you know, supporting actor, character actor guy.
I think this is a made up person.
It's not made up.
It's not made up.
I'll give you the results in a second, but Dustin's out.
And so Maz takes this round down.
He's the winner of that one.
Thank you.
He was, you want me to tell you a few?
Maz the best, oh shit I accidentally
calling somebody. John Heard.
I'm butt calling somebody.
He heard all the mean things. Yeah you can tell us some.
He was the dad in Home Alone.
Also Home Alone 2.
Well you know that those characters
he's like kind of gone for most of the movie.
Fucking Pelican Brief, right?
Probably.
He was also in the movie Big.
He was Tom Hanks' nemesis at the toy store.
The toy company.
Oh, that's in his top four on IMDb.
Both of the Home Alones and Big.
And then he was in Awakenings.
Sharknado?
The very first Sharknado?
Yeah.
Can you check to make sure he wasn The very first Sharknado? Yeah.
Can you check to make sure he wasn't in Leaves of Grass?
Nope.
171 credits on IMDb.
They made that many Home Alone?
Zero name recognition.
But, you know, a lot of it's TV, a lot of it.
But, man, that guy is a good actor.
What was the one you wanted me to look up?
Not Leaves of Grass.
What was the one you thought he was in?
Pelican Brief?
Yeah.
Let me look that up.
I think he was, yeah. That seems like something he'd be.
He got killed, I think.
Was he the one that got hit with the Pelican Brief?
He was a character actor.
And then when you read about him, it says that in the late 70s,
he was one of those guys that was ready to hit with all the other
Method actors and then he just kind of went the character actor route. That's what happened a typical dust in a bar
It's Pelican brief fam. Yeah, I knew that guy that dudes awesome. He's everything. Yeah, everything. All right, good job
I don't feel bad for him. He's working all the time
Oh, he's doing great.
He's in my money. Yeah, I don't feel bad for him.
He's got all the money.
He's doing great.
He's doing great.
All right, so Megan dropped out first on that one, right?
I sure as hell did.
Yeah, so that means you got to pick the next name.
Guys, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Oh, all right.
I don't think we have time for that, really.
I never want to go home.
I picked him because I don't want to leave.
All right, I'm going to step out of I picked him because I don't want to leave. All right.
I'm going to step out
of this one
because we've got to do
a speed round
because we really don't have
the time for Arnold Schwarzenegger.
But we're going to do it anyway.
Then if you don't want to do her,
I'll do him.
I'll do someone else.
Well, it's just interesting
how you pick somebody
that a bunch of dudes
on the panel
are probably going to know
more of his movies than you.
Right?
I'd like to play that game.
Let's do it.
Damn.
Let's do it.
So Maz is first.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We're going to go with True Lies.
Fuck.
No, no, no.
Wait, which order did we go last time?
We've got to switch it around.
Okay, then we're going to go to Dustin.
Okay, Terminator.
Full title.
The Judgment Day?
Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
That was a trick question, Jude. I just wanted you to say
The Terminator. Damn it!
I knew there was...
Okay, Megan.
So he said Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
He kind of said
a few things. He just took the whole franchise. He just said He kind of said, he said a few things.
He just took the whole franchise.
He just said a lot of stuff.
I guess he said both.
Are both wiped out?
Yeah, yeah.
Predator.
You need that one that badly?
You think you're going to kick ass at this?
Don't yell at me, Doug.
Predator.
Terminator 3, Rise of the Machines.
Okay.
Twins?
Mm-hmm.
Dustin?
Terminator 3, Genesis?
Terminator 4, Genesis.
Why don't you stick to movies of his
that just have a simple title
and no numbers?
Ah, Expendables.
Yeah, damn it.
I don't know, man.
All right.
Who's next?
It's back to Maz or...
Which way are you going?
No, I think...
No, it goes back here.
Okay, Megan.
Kindergarten Cop.
Ooh, good one.
Can I say Terminator Genisys now?
Yeah, because that's what it's called.
Right.
There's no numerals.
Damn it.
Maz?
I'm blanking for a second here
It's tough when you get up here
Arnold movies
Megan's so proud of herself
Arnold movies
I'm trying to think
Do we go to the lifeline?
You can yeah
Lifeline
Running man
Nice
There you go
Dustin you want to try one more?
I thought I was out, but I'm out. Can you think of something that doesn't have a number in it?
Junior.
Junior. Very good.
Oh, pregnant man. Like it.
Megan?
Total Recall.
Mm-hmm.
Demi?
Hercules in New York.
Uh-huh.
Really?
Yeah. Maz is out.
I'm out.
Dustin?
Around the World in 50 Days.
Oh, you son of... I said nothing with numbers in it.
Oh, shit.
I know.
You can't get your numbers right.
I'm like some kind of genius math guy.
You're out.
Megan.
Conan the Barbarian.
Mm-hmm.
Demi?
Pumping Iron.
Uh-huh.
Conan the Destroyer.
Uh-huh.
The Last Action Hero.
Uh-huh.
That fucking movie.
Commando.
Yes.
The Expendables 3.
Sequels.
The one with his body.
It's all over.
This guy's body. Do you want to go to your lifeline oh yeah lifeline
the whole row is helping he just had a flop the one where he's the cop it's a flop oh yeah
sabotage sabotage oh I thought you were talking about the last stand.
Back to you, Megan.
Red Sonja!
Yeah!
Nice!
Expendables 2?
Yeah.
He's just equaling me!
I deserve to win this.
He's not in Predator vs. Alien.
He was only in the first one.
Don't be a fool, Megan.
Why are you arguing with yourself?
Damn it.
I think you're done.
I think I'm done.
Only for time.
Do you want to hit us with one more, Demi? Maggie. Yeah, Maggie, the new zombie movie. Oh, I don't'm done. Only for time. Do you want to hit us with one more, Demi?
Maggie.
Yeah, Maggie, the new zombie movie.
Oh, I don't know it.
It's new?
It's like a low-key zombie movie, yeah.
He's supposed to be pretty good in it.
I didn't see it.
It's around the world in 80 days.
Ah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You can't make it in 50.
That's impossible.
He saw the version on an airplane.
It's much shorter.
And with two points, Demi is a winner, everybody!
So come get all this stuff.
Come get your cake.
Matica.
And these other two bags full of terrific stuff.
There you go.
Are you alright with carrying all this stuff?
Okay.
Oh, he's got a buddy.
Did you ever use your lifeline or no?
I didn't.
Wow.
What's your Schwarzenegger?
Just Eraser.
Never even heard of that movie.
But that's a good one.
Yeah, sure. I'm aware of it.
Now sit down.
Don't forget your open can of LaCroix.
Yeah, yeah. You don't want to drink some of that red heat?
Oh!
Yeah, Schwarzenegger's in a lot of movies.
Yeah. He's one of our greatest
actors.
What do you got to plug, Megan?
Oh, live, I'm going to be at UCB Sunset at 10.30 on Friday night here doing some stand-up.
Oh, that's cool.
And then if you watch The Soul Man on TV Land, I'm a recurring character this season.
It's a little, not a little, it starts at the Entertainer in UC Nash, and it's the final season, this multicam,
the soul man, and I'm in it.
And I think my episode
is on Wednesday night.
Check your listings. TV land.
Cool. Megan Uringer, everybody.
Demi, what do you got going on, buddy?
I am
Gilmore Guys. Gilmore Guys,
the podcast I host. It's on iTunes and SoundCloud.
And if you're in Boston, we're going to be there live at the Wilbur June 18th.
Come out and see us.
It's going to be a long three-hour show for a show you don't know about.
And then I'm also writing for a show called The Good Place starring Kristen Bell and Ted Danson that is coming out in the fall.
You can see the trailer now.
Just announced on the NBC lineup.
Yes.
Only new comedy on NBC, I believe.
Because they've got too many Chicago whatevers.
They've got Chicago diarrhea, Chicago...
It's actually the full title of Chicago Good Place.
Chicago Good Place?
Yes.
All right, cool.
And one more time, yeah, for Demi, Digi eBay.
You just wanted to say my name.
I got to keep practicing.
Maz, besides checking out Jimmy Vestwood in New York, L.A., Encino, and all those other places you named,
what else is going on with you?
So, as you said, we're going to expand beyond that.
So people should look for Jimmy Vestwood beyond those places as well.
that, so people should look for Jimmy Best, but beyond those places as well.
And I will,
I have a recurring on
TV show on TBS
called Detour, which is the Jason Jones
show. And
then I'm touring a lot. I'm touring
and people can check out
my schedule at mazjobrani.com
and go out and
help us beat Captain America.
That's what I'm, you know,
at least like, you know,
with the per screen average.
We're really close to him,
with him, them,
with the per screen average.
So if people could just go see it,
it would really help.
Right on.
Maz Drabrani, everybody.
Jimmy Bestwood.
Do you really want to be the guy who's like...
And Dustin, what do you got?
I just do a lot of touring.
You can see the dates at
DustinYbarra.com and
if you guys have Netflix, everyone does,
watch Battle Creek.
I was in that for a bit. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, really?
I swear.
Yeah,
check all of that out.
DouglasMovies.com, another show tomorrow
night over at the other UCB here in town. Thanks to all of my out douglasmovies.com another show tomorrow night over at the other UCB here in town
thanks to all of my guests Justin Ibarra Maz Jobrani gotta say it one more time Demi DiGibe
and Megan Nuringer and as always did you mean to write Jerry Marshall?
Or were you going for Gary Marshall?
Yeah, it says Jerry Marshall is a shithead.
Director of Folter is a shithead.
New York Knicks owner James Dolan is a shithead.
And people who wear sandals are a shithead.
And people who wear sandals are a shithead.
Thanks again to HBO Now for sponsoring today's episode.
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Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies!