Doug Loves Movies - Doogie Horner, Aaron Kleiber and Joe Pettis guest
Episode Date: July 14, 2015Live from the Improv in Pittsburgh, Doug welcomes Doogie Horner, Aaron Kleiber and Joe Pettis to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at h...ttps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everybody!
Hey, latecomer!
My name is Doug, and I love movies!
This is I Love Movies!
Probably the first show in the history of recording this live in front of audiences
where there are empty seats in the very front.
Usually people get here early and they want to get their name tags picked
so they want to be as close as possible,
but I guess you guys have big name tags and are cocky.
And that's all right with me.
My name, of course, has been said already.
Coming to you once again from the Improv in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
It's Sunday, July 12, 2015.
Let me see those name tags I was just talking about.
See that guy?
None of these people need to be in the front because they have gigantic name tags.
I love Liz Lebowski. I saw that on Twitter today. none of these people need to be in the front because they have gigantic name tags.
I love Liz Lebowski.
I saw that on Twitter today.
Giant picture of Amy Adams.
I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
What's your name?
Oh, hey, Devin.
Snow White and the Devin Dwarfs.
Ah, Duncan Ron Nuts.
Is that your name, Ron?
I got it.
Right up front, too.
And the club didn't say you can't bring donuts into the club?
Well, good on you, Pittsburgh Improv.
Because a lot of clubs don't want people bringing food in.
Return of the Jeff instead of Jedi.
That's a good one.
What's the Joe versus the volcano?
Is your name just Joe?
Cynthia versus the volcano.
You know, they're making an all lady Ghostbusters.
So why not a lady Cynthia versus the volcano?
All right, you guys, thank you for bringing those. And there's some big round ones back there.
What's that supposed to be?
It says drop dead Fred on it on a big round piece
of cardboard. All right. Crazy. Let's see here. I got a couple of things to talk about.
Los Angeles Tuesday night is the final free Douglasies taping at 7 o'clock.
So please pack the place and bring a gift to Baseball Jordan
because he's going to be the saddest person there.
He's coming every week for I don't know how long now.
And I'll still do shows in L.A., some of which will be at UCB,
but people will just have to pay a few bucks to get in.
But all of the shows,
like these road ones, will be
longer than an hour.
From the corrections department, Jamie
Foxx was indeed
in the movie Toys.
The other day, when people
kept yelling out, Toys! I was like, are you saying
Noys or Boys or
what are you talking about? Jamie Foxx wasn't in
that Robin Williams
movie, but apparently he was. I haven't seen it for a long time because that one time was
enough. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. We got some fun stuff in there that I brought.
The bag itself is from a charity event that was thrown by the Actors Fund in New York.
I don't think it's just in New York, though.
I think it's all over the place.
But the Actors Fund is a good cause.
And I also got a hat from them that I will include in the prize bag.
I'm not going to wear it out of here.
And it says Bombshell the Musical on it.
I also got a lovely mug from somebody that gave that to me out on the road.
I think there's going to be more than one mug today, if I'm not mistaken.
And, of course, a copy of a promotional tool.
And then all the guests have brought some prizes as well,
so let's get them out here and see what they brought.
Please give a big, warm, homestead welcome
to Aaron Kleiber, Joe Pettis, and Doogie Horner!
Thank you!
Hello, Pittsburgh.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hey, Doug.
I was standing at the back of the room earlier,
and I said, hey, can you move those two?
There was like a big gap between the two stools in the middle,
and I said, could you move those closer together?
And the sound guy was like, cool.
And he came down here, and he was like moving them, and I said, could you move those closer together? And the sound guy was like, cool. And he came down here, and he was moving them,
and I just walked away. And I never saw the reason the chairs were apart
is because there's a table sitting there.
That table's supposed to be for me,
for me to put stuff on. Do you want me to move it?
But I didn't move it because it's way too low
for me to ride on. So I'm going to
use this stool right here, Aaron. Thank you
very much. I've got my own stool. You've got your own,
and you guys can put your drinks and stuff on that one.
Great story, Doug.
Ladies and gentlemen, driving in today from New York City, formerly of Philadelphia, it's
Doogie Horner.
Let's hear it for him.
It's a beautiful drive.
I'm sure I said this before, but I love
knowing someone that actually goes by
the name Doogie, because I don't like it when
people call me that, because it
just sounds like they're just being too
familiar with me, and it's
never been my nickname. Even during
Doogie Howser, M.D.,
people didn't call me that. They called me
Neil Patrick.
What did you bring for the prize bag, Doogie?
So I was, since I'm at Pittsburgh,
I was staying with my wife's family.
My wife!
And her mom is a potter,
and so why is that funny?
Well, I guess I'll...
Did she make something for us
with Patrick Swayze helping her out?
Did she make something for us with Patrick Swayze helping her out?
So she made a little coffee mug, and this was made by Joy Twing,
and so some nice person will get that.
And she even put it in a little gift bag.
Isn't that nice?
That's a lovely thing.
Yeah.
I'm putting it in my bag.
Is that a pot joke?
She's a potter?
Is that why everyone laughs? No, I just think calling anyone a potter is humorous in this day and age.
Wow, doesn't take much.
You're a funny guy, Doogie.
Thanks for coming.
Joe Pettis is here, everybody.
Hey.
Hey.
Direct from Hotlanta.
Hotlanta.
In town in Pittsburgh doing some shows.
Yeah, yeah, I did my underwear comedy party show at Hambones last night.
How'd it go?
It was a blast. It was cool. It was a lot of fun.
And all the comedians perform in their underwear.
Yeah, everyone performs in their underwear, yeah.
One guy performed in cellophane and aluminum foil.
So as long as it's not clothing, that's all that matters.
Oh, okay. Well, then I'll wear a sheet or something if I ever do it.
So I'm not going to perform just in my underwear.
I don't want to do that to people.
You could bring a diaper or something, you know, whatever.
No, that, no.
I'm more concerned about keeping my shirt on.
And people don't need to see my third nipple, my Scaramanga nipple.
What did you bring for the prize bag, Joe?
I got a t-shirt. I bought this here in
Pittsburgh. It says
Baltimore Blows.
Yeah.
Way to kick a city when they're down.
They've had it good for too long.
Yeah. Let's take them down a peg.
It was only $4.
Unfortunately, it's a medium,
so I don't think it's going to fit most people here.
Are you fishing to just keep it?
Is that what you're saying?
What does that mean?
I bought it for myself,
then realized I had nothing for the prize back,
so now it goes in there.
Also, I don't want to be murdered when I go to Baltimore, so...
Well, it might happen anyways.
Yeah, we get good crowds at Doug Lo's movies in Baltimore. I've got to try to bring it back happen anyways. Yeah, we get good crowds at
Doug Lowe's movies in Baltimore. I've got to try to bring it
back there soon. And
speaking of Pittsburgh, we've got some
homegrown talent on the stage as well.
Local comedy
phenom Aaron Kleiber is here
everybody.
What do you got for the bag?
Well, I have one of my DVDs.
Grown Man Business.
Yes.
That's if you... Yeah.
Who gives a shit?
Just throw it, kick it, toss it around.
Thank you, Devin.
Thank you.
Pass it around so everyone can see it.
If you want one, buy one after the show.
Oh, yeah.
He'll be in the lobby with these after the show.
How much do they go for?
$10. Okay.
You should want to figure out
the price point before you put something on sale.
You know, I like to just follow my heart
every show and just throw a number out.
That's what I like to do.
Alright, so it's just two bucks, you guys.
Slow your roll, Doug.
That's crazy.
You brought a couple of shirts for the bag your roll, Doug. That's crazy.
You brought a couple of shirts for the day.
Well, it's a shirt day.
This is Sean Collier and I.
We do a movie podcast called Handle the Truth Podcast.
And they gave us a shit ton of Gallo shirts.
And look at this.
Beatrice High Drama Department.
Beatrice, after an old lady that was buried on the grounds,
and then she haunts the school.
She was a drama instructor.
I don't know about the movie. You've seen The Gallows?
Nope.
I kind of want to see it,
because it's only an hour and 20 minutes long,
and that excites me.
Yeah, but...
Yeah.
And this is a fun, my friend Dan, goodsandevil.com,
he makes cool movie shirts, and this is large, and it doesn't fit me.
So, yeah, it's a little...
Because you're a medium.
Yeah, I'm a shmedium.
Girl's small.
It's an Alex Kittner Memorial Shark Hunt.
It's a cool Jaws shirt.
So that's, you know, that's cool.
Yeah, Alex Kittner is the kid that dies in Jaws.
Yeah.
Real cool.
That's super cool, yeah.
And also his raft gets chewed up pretty bad.
It's like a double whammy.
Like the kid's dead and also,
man, we can't use this raft anymore.
Yeah, but look, it's a memorial shark hunt,
so they hunt sharks and raise money for the kids' raft, probably.
I don't know.
So that's it. Pass those down, my friend.
Yeah.
And that's all that's going in the prize bag.
Doogie, have you been to the movies lately?
I always like to ask all the guests if they've seen anything.
Yeah, actually, they're doing a John Ford retrospective
at the theater near my house
and we saw The Prisoner of Shark Island
which I had
never heard of before. I was very excited
by that title and spoiler
alert, there's not as many sharks as you would
hope.
You think Shark Island, we're going to see a lot
of sharks but you have to remember this was made in
I don't know, the 40s or 50s
and sharks are, you know, that's not easy to shoot, so not too many sharks.
Yeah, Bruce the shark didn't exist yet, so how did they do it? Was it just like a fin
out of the water?
Yeah, they were pretty, yeah, they were like fins, and they were pretty clear, like wood
carved sharks pulled on strings. But it was pretty good. It was about the doctor who...
So it was a historical fiction. It was about
the doctor who treated John Wilkes Booth
after John Wilkes Booth assassinated
Lincoln, hit a broken leg
and this doctor fixed his leg, not knowing
it was John Wilkes Booth.
Why is it called Shark Island?
Well, because if they said
the guy who fixed John Wilkes Booth's broken leg, nobody would want to see it.
But you'd think some people
would catch on quick that this is not
going to have any sharks in it.
Well, there were some sharks. So he gets imprisoned
on Shark Island.
Alright.
They should have called it Imprisoned on Shark Island.
Then that way
everybody knows what's happening and it sounds exciting.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
I want to look it up on...
I want to see what Len Malton gave that.
You know, I thought it was pretty good,
but I don't know. What's it called again?
The Prisoner of Shark Island.
Oh, yeah, it was close enough
to Prison of Shark Island.
Imprisoned. You're like, I would have added a few Island. Imprisoned. I would have added a few letters.
What about you, Joe?
Have you been to the cinema?
Yeah, last movie I saw was Mad Max.
Fury Road.
Yeah.
I always see movies like two months late.
You know, when it's like at the Dala Theater.
Most of the roads here in Pittsburgh are Fury
roads.
Except Squirrel Road.
Over by Squirrel Hill?
Yeah, yeah. I love that there's
a place called Squirrel Hill.
You know, I was disappointed. Not as many
squirrels as I had hoped to see.
I think they probably should have named it
like... You gotta bring your animal
expectations down when it comes to names of things.
Well, like Mad Max, great example.
There's only one Max in it,
and I just thought with a title like that,
there'd be more Maxes.
Okay, Prisoner of Shark Island.
The Prisoner of Shark Island, full title.
The Doctor?
From 1936.
Leonard gives it three and a half stars.
Wow. I mean, it was pretty good. 95 minutes, I like the sound of that. full title. The Doctor? From 1936, Leonard gives it three and a half stars.
Wow. I mean, it was pretty good.
95 minutes, I like the sound of that.
That's how you rate it.
Excellent film based on the true story of Dr. Samuel Mudd,
who innocently treated John Wilkes Booth's
broken leg after Lincoln's assassination
and was sentenced to life
imprisonment for helping
John Wilkes Booth,
just a guy who limped in with a broken leg.
He didn't know that he broke his leg
jumping onto a stage after assassinating a president.
Now, John Wilkes Booth wisely withheld that information.
To get his leg fixed?
They'd fix his leg in prison, wouldn't they?
How'd you hurt your leg?
Not killing the president.
Tell you that much, my good country doctor.
It was remade later as Hellgate.
No.
Yes.
What?
Wow, they really upped the misleading name game there.
Fire doomed.
And then they made a TV movie version called The Ordeal of Dr. Mud,
which is the best title of the three.
Those other two are very misleading.
The Sad Doctor.
Thanks for bringing that to the show,
Doogie. That was fun.
What did you see,
Aaron?
I took my kids to see
Inside Out. That's a good one, right?
It was good.
Where do you put it on the Pixar list? see Inside Out. That's a good one, right? It was good. It was fun.
Where do you put it on the Pixar list?
It's my second favorite Pixar movie, I think.
Yeah, they really like it
and they just talk about their
feelings now and my son
walks around doing lines from Louis Black,
which is kind of adorable, but kind of like,
oh shit.
Get me my breakfast!
My four-year-old walks around,
now I got all the swears.
Which is funnier than him swearing.
It is.
But The Incredibles is still my favorite.
One of my faves.
I'm looking forward to Incredibles Part 2.
Usually don't look forward to sequels,
but in this case, I'm making an exception.
And the last movie I saw was, I'm making an exception.
And the last movie I saw was,
I went to the theater over here,
the Lowe's Waterfront,
and I saw Amy,
because I thought it was about Amy Adams,
and I wanted to yell at the screen the whole time.
But it's actually a really great documentary about Amy Winehouse,
and I highly recommend it.
And I know that doesn't hold a lot of weight
because I recommend everything highly.
I'm always high when I'm recommending things.
Still got it, Doug.
I still got it.
I got it right here.
All right, so before we get into the more serious gameplay
and pick our name tags and stuff,
I thought I'd bring back something that some people requested that we haven't done in a while.
And it's a round of love like, hate, hate like.
This goes out to you, Devin.
And since he was a surprise, made a surprise appearance at Comic-Con the other day to promote his latest project,
I thought it'd be fun to talk about
the films of Bill Murray.
The great Bill Murray.
No one doesn't like
Bill Murray, I don't think.
So we'll start with Aaron
and just tell us your favorite
Bill Murray movie, the one that you love.
I love
What About Bob?
Interesting choice.
Not even in my top ten.
Really?
Bill Murray movies?
I mean, I do love it.
I mean, it's better than Ghostbusters 2.
People love Ghostbusters 2 for some reason.
I can watch it any time.
I feel like if Caddyshack or Ghostbusters
is on, I'm like, I've seen this so many times,
but what about Bob?
It's more of a rare treat.
Yeah, it's a treat when it pops on.
Okay.
I think what about Bob is the Jaws sequel.
In many ways,
it's Richard Dreyfuss, but instead of the shark,
it's Bob.
Bob is the shark in that movie.
It's in an oceanfront community
and people are just trying to have a nice vacation
and then there's this indomitable killing machine.
I think you're onto something.
Just chomping up every scene.
Yeah, and I think of Mr. Holland's opus
as finishing out the trilogy.
Yeah, really.
Where he has to fight children with instruments.
Exactly, yeah.
Especially all the cello parts
in that movie.
Everyone's always
got room for cello.
Hey, Joe Pettis,
what about you? I'm a meatballs guy.
Oh, you are?
Yeah, I just like the idea of Bill Murray at a summer
camp, you know? That sounds like the best summer camp of all time. Yeah, he are? Yeah, I just like the idea of Bill Murray at a summer camp, you know? That sounds like
the best summer camp of all time.
Yeah, he was a pretty fun counselor.
Yeah, he didn't seem to have any
responsibilities other than just
giving a speech every once in a while.
That's like every summer camp movie. No one's doing
anything. None of the counselors are responsible at
all. You know, it's just
wild shit going on all the time.
Wet Hot American Summer is coming back soon on Netflix. you know it's just like just wild shit going on all the time wet hot american summer exactly
coming back uh soon on netflix not to change the subject or anything what about you doogie
what's a bill murray movie you love i really like the life aquatic with steve zissou
you guys are making some interesting choices you're not going for the obvious
well a lot of people that's's their least favorite Wes Anderson film,
and I don't understand it.
Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, really?
That's my favorite.
My least favorite is Darjeeling Unlimited.
Or Limited.
I think it's Limited.
And I'm also not a huge fan of...
I like Moonrise Kingdom.
I don't know why we're talking Wes Anderson all of a sudden.
But yeah, it was...
You know the thing about Steve Zissou is that
he's
so unlikable in that
that that sort of brings people down a little bit.
But I think that movie has some hilarious
stuff in it. But speaking
of Wes Anderson, My Love
Never Ends for
Rushmore is my favorite.
Yeah. And it's not
easy to pick a favorite Bill Murray movie, because he's
knocked it out of the park a few times, but
Rushmore is definitely
I think my favorite.
Aaron, which one do you
just like? Just a Bill Murray movie
that you like. I was
going to say Rushmore. Yeah, sure.
I like it. Okay. Yeah, sure. I like it.
Okay.
Yeah, it's not as good
as What About Bob.
No.
No.
What About Bob
is a good movie.
Just their soundtracks alone
can't compete with each other.
Rushmore is amazing
and What About Bob,
I can't even remember
what kind of music
they play in that movie.
It's probably like
do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
That's all.
What About Bob
is just Seinfeld.
The whole time. It's like do-ba-da-ba-do-do-do-do-do-do. It's probably like... What about Bob is just Seinfeld? The whole...
It's like a children's buddy movie.
That's not going to hold up
if I see it again.
Oh, it does.
It's so good.
Don't make me see it again, Aaron.
All right.
There's a guy out here
who wants me to watch it.
He probably also loves Hook.
Joe, what about...
Joe, what about...
Joe, what do you like?
Caddyshack. Of course.
Who doesn't like Caddyshack? Yeah, it's good enough.
Good enough?
Yeah, good enough. If it's on TV, I'll watch it. Yeah, and he's like
a four-hander. There's like four
kind of stars in that movie, and they all get
kind of equal time, and Bill Murray
makes the best of his. He's so quotable
like I say, so I've got that going for me
about every dumb little thing that's
not really that important.
In that case, he said he talked to the Dalai Lama
and he gave him complete consciousness.
But, you know, he's lying.
Well, thanks for spoiling the movie, Doug.
That's early on.
What about you,
Dukes?
I like Stripes.
Like, I like it.
Are you one of those people that is against the last 20 minutes of Stripes?
Well, it's not my favorite part.
I love it all.
I love all of it.
I agree that, like you were saying, it's one of those good TV movies where it comes on and it doesn't matter where you come into the film. You're like,
oh, good.
And if it's on cable,
the first few minutes, his
girlfriend is naked before she breaks up
with him. It's the most
thankless part. She shows her tits and then
says, I'm out.
And he's all sad and then he joins the army.
I went with Meatballs for my like yeah because i i love
bill murray and meatballs the rest of the counselors i can do without great yeah i'm
talking about you spaz if you're listening to this can i tell you something about meatballs
please my friend uses that so my friend has two kids and his wife was away for the weekend but
he came to do a show with me
and he's like, hey, I gotta get out of here early
because I can only be gone for six hours.
And I said, why is that? And he said, to babysit
my kids, I give them all three
Meatballs DVDs.
And when the Meatball DVDs are over, I have
to be home.
For some reason, Meatballs is
the only movies
that he just puts them on,
and they'll just sit there and watch all three Meatballs.
But when they're over, he's like, I've got to be back,
because when the Meatballs is over, they'll notice I'm not there anymore.
There must be a DVD that exists that has all three back-to-back,
because if they have to change them after each one,
then why does he have to treat them like they're so stupid
that they can't just put other random movies in?
That's a good point.
I was going to ask him that,
but my mind was too boggled by the whole concept
to even get into the details.
Like all three Toy Stories?
Nope, Meatballs.
No, yeah, Meatballs.
I don't know why.
I bet you all three Meatballs is longer
than all three Toy Stories, but maybe not.
They could be close.
I don't know.
What do you hate?
Aaron,
is there a Bill Murray movie that you hate?
Yeah. Mine's What About Bob.
Come on! I'm kidding!
I'm kidding! Come on!
You know, oh, geez. I forgot the... Man, I'm getting off to a good start.
The freaking...
The one in Japan. What the hell?
Lost in Translation.
Lost in Translation?
That was like second or third on my love list.
Well, you just
lost the game. Congratulations. It's not easy
to do.
It's probably hard to relate to a comedian on the road, though.
When you were watching it.
You're probably like, this isn't my life.
I never go anywhere and I don't tell jokes. I just... I were watching it. You're probably like, this isn't my life. I never go anywhere, and I don't tell jokes.
I just...
I don't know. I was just like,
ugh, this is frustrating.
Scarlett Johansson, shut up.
Oh, she's so hot in there.
Yeah, if it was just two hours of her butt, it would be amazing.
Yeah, the opening shot of that movie is her ass.
Yeah.
I just wanted her to leave him alone.
I was glad when Giovanni Ribisi got out of there, Yeah, the opening shot of that movie is her ass. Yeah. Yeah, I just wanted her to leave him alone. Jeez.
I was glad when Giovanni Ribisi got out of there, you know.
He was annoying.
He was no good for her.
He's a good actor.
All right, Joe, do you have one that you hate?
I'm going to pass.
I can't think of a single movie I hate.
He's passing, yeah, because that's how great Bill Murray is.
I like Bill Murray.
What about the one with the elephant?
Larger than life.
I haven't seen that one.
Maybe the one where he's like, I can't think of the title.
It's like one where he's a robber.
I can't think of it.
Rob banks and stuff.
Quick Change.
People love that movie.
I like Quick Change.
Sorry.
Is there one that you hate, Doogie?
I don't
like Scrooged.
Really?
I meant Lost in Translation. I don't Scrooged. Really?
I'm getting lost in translation.
Yeah, I don't love Scrooged.
His hair bothers me.
It's too long.
Have you seen Kingpin?
Oh, I love that.
Well, then it's longer.
It's okay.
His hair kind of bothers me,
and Danny Elfman's score gets on my nerves a little bit and I don't like the cab driver.
Is that Buster Poindexter?
Yeah.
Where do you want to go?
But let me ask you this.
Never mind.
There's no reason to talk more about Scrooged.
But there's something about it I like.
It may be because around the holidays, I hate so many
holiday movies that that one is a little
refreshing, because at least it's about a guy who's
a dick to everybody.
Like, if you turn it off before the ending.
But even the ending's great, because Bill Murray being
happy and liking everybody is
fun. I went with,
for my hate, I went with
Garfield.
Wait, full title.
A Tale of Two Kitties.
And it's just
because I didn't like the first Garfield
and never saw this one out of
protest because of the title.
I just didn't even bother.
Now, Aaron, is there
a Bill Murray movie that you hate
yourself for liking, other than
how you should feel about What About Bob?
It's a good movie.
Bob.
Bob.
But you know how you got frustrated
with the last translation because
he's just in a weird situation.
He can't get out of there.
He's stuck in Japan.
I just start to feel bad for Richard Dreyfuss after a while
because Bill Murray usually doesn't play a character
that just fucks with somebody continuously.
He always lets them off the hook at some point.
In that movie, he commits,
but he's terrible to Richard Dreyfuss through the whole thing.
That's frustrating to me.
He's got problems.
Yeah, he does.
He's like, he can't help himself.
Yeah.
All right, I'll watch it again.
It kind of makes, you know, people with brain problems adorable.
What were you going to say?
Which one do you hate yourself for liking?
I don't know.
You can pass.
Yeah, pass.
We don't want to sit here all day watching you think.
Oh, I'd pay to see that.
Yeah, pass.
I don't know.
Joe? Now I hate myself for enjoying
Scrooged, apparently.
That's yours?
Yeah, it's mine. I hate that.
I don't like holiday movies, but that one always
gets me. It's good. I like it.
Now Aaron's got one.
Aaron's got one.
I do hate myself for liking Ghostbusters 2.
He is Vigo.
Yeah.
Peter McNichol is great.
He's amazing.
He's really funny in it.
It's got, you know, it's got a cute baby.
But that, like, the first movie we had,
the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man destroying the city.
What do we do this movie?
How about the Statue of Liberty?
No, that's already a big thing.
And how are they fucking steering it?
And it's so bananas.
They're just sitting up there in the window like, yeah, let's just go for this ride.
What if it just fell over and they all died?
I know.
It's the song.
It's the song.
I'm like, this is so stupid.
I'm dancing.
It's so good.
It's fun.
Forget about Vigo, Master of Evil. Yeah. Yeah, it's so good. It's fun. Forget about Vigo, Master of Evil.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's so good.
Okay, all right.
You guys go to karaoke
tonight or something.
Yeah, this is not
Lost in Translation.
Relax.
Doogie, do you have one
that you hate yourself
for liking?
No, I mean,
I don't think,
no, I mean,
they're all so good.
I feel bad only saying
one that I like so much
because there's so many great ones.
What about Where the Buffalo Roam?
I never saw that one.
See, one guy likes that, Devin.
Or he hate himself for liking it.
I'd like Where the Buffalo Roam
and Johnny Depp's movies about Hunter Thompson
to fight each other and go away forever.
Because I don't think any of them really nailed it.
I think they have interesting parts.
But my movie...
Yes, Doug?
...is I Hate That I Like Charlie's Angels.
Bill Murray's great in it.
Crispin Glover's great as the villain
when he's fighting the girls.
All those girls were still tolerable to me
around that time.
Charlie's Angels 2, I absolutely cannot stand,
but for some reason I like Charlie's Angels.
And that concludes Love Like, Hate Hate Like.
Good job, gentlemen.
Now is where we get serious and say,
let the games begin.
Whoa.
They've got name tags.
This is intense.
Lots of fun, colorful, big name tags.
They really tore it up.
Did it right.
You guys go select your name tags.
While you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Comic-Con 2015 has begun.
So whether you're at Comic-Con or wish you were,
rent or own my movie, Chronicon,
from iTunes or on VOD and lots of other places
where you get motion picture entertainment.
And thanks to all of you who have watched
and enjoyed the silliness.
Back to the show.
We're back.
Hey.
That's a good one.
Who are you playing for, Aaron?
I think Corey.
Corey.
Corey Cher from the Black...
I love Universal Monsters and horror stuff.
So that's Creature of the Black Lagoon,
and he changed it to Corey Cher from the Black Lagoon.
This is a pretty rad poster.
Yeah, it's a neat poster.
Good job.
That's really good, actually.
Yeah, all right, Corey.
Did you paint that?
Yeah. What? That's a neat poster. Good job. That's really good, actually. Yeah, all right, Corey. Did you paint that? Yeah.
What?
That's good.
Yeah.
Don't be sad if your name tag didn't get picked, you guys,
because we're going to be throwing some donuts at you in a moment.
Joe, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Katie Mewing Ninja Turtles,
because she said I could keep the Ninja Turtle after the show.
Did I say go out and find the roughest puns that you could possibly?
Yeah.
Katie, Ninja, Ninja.
Can you find name tags where they jam their name in where it doesn't even fit?
Forrest Gump, Todd.
Yeah.
But that's a cool name tag because it's got lots of turtles on it.
It's got a Pez dispenser.
It has a 3D postcard on it. That's pretty cool. And it's got the aforementioned Statue of turtles on it. It's got a Pez dispenser. It has a 3D postcard on it.
That's pretty cool.
And it's got the aforementioned Statue of Liberty on there.
So go USA.
She also wrote me a note not to say the shithole
before I was supposed to say it,
so she gave me a little hint.
I don't think she wrote shithole.
These are the shitholes.
The shithole 2.
Who's a shithole?
That place that Joe played last night is a shithole.
I forgot the name of it, though.
I don't want to disparage it anyway.
Did the Krispy Kreme write something on the back,
or is it on the inside?
Inside.
There it is.
Please be Krispy Steve.
So it's Krispy Laura.
Krispy Laura Donuts.
So you guys all succeeded in picking,
as far as name tags go,
ones where they just stuck their name in.
Oh, yeah. makes no sense.
Doesn't even sound like
Cream, but
that's why I like this other guy's a little better
because he's got Ron Nuts.
Duncan Ron Nuts.
But
Doogie, I want to give one of these away
if you don't mind. Yeah, yeah, go for it.
Do you like Krispy Kreme?
Ron Nuts? No? Okay. Todd, I give you for it. Do you like Krispy Kreme? Rotten Nuts?
No?
Okay.
Todd, I give you a shot.
Here's one for Devin.
He's a company man.
Come on.
That guy's riding the front row.
Just throw it on. He's eating off the stage.
Five-second rule.
Five-second rule.
Are you still eating it?
He's still eating it.
Hey, do you want to throw one here?
Oh, sorry.
Damn.
This doesn't count as a two minimum either.
I'm going to sidearm NWA right here.
I want you, NWA.
Go deep.
Go deep.
That was a...
Damn.
At least these aren't chocolates.
They're not going to mess up your clothes.
Doogie, hit the third row.
Did you throw one, Joe?
Yeah, I did.
I got one. Okay, I'll throw the last one. Or do you want to throw one, Doogie? You can throw it. It's your show. Doogie, hit the third row. Did you throw one, Joe? Yeah, I did. I got one.
Okay, I'll throw the last one
or do you want to throw one, Doogie?
You can throw it.
It's your show.
Doug, go deep.
It's weird the way
you put your dick up
through the bottom of this box.
I like to have fun.
Go deep.
Oh.
She brought a great name tag
that's got real food
hanging off the bottom of it
that you guys
didn't bother much for.
She doesn't need a donut.
She's got three food hanging off the bottom of it that you guys didn't bother with before. Yes, she doesn't need a donut then.
She's got three pepperoni rolls.
Oh.
With cheese.
Oh.
Which, I don't know if that's good.
I don't know if I want a lukewarm pepperoni roll with cheese.
I do.
All right, let's play some games and figure out which one of these people is going to win the prize bag.
We're going to start with a little game I like to call ABCD's Nuts!
We'll start with Aaron and then we'll go
to Joe and then to
Doogie and we're going to spell
since we're kind of
here, we're in Homestead
but we're going to spell Pittsburgh.
And Aaron started off,
just name any movie that begins
with the letter P. If you match the movie
I wrote down ahead of time,
you win the whole game automatically.
Piranha.
Oh.
I went with
Pittsburgh.
You only know, that's what I used last Pittsburgh. You only know,
that's what I used last time.
From 1942.
Oh, the 42.
Yeah.
There's a Jeff Goldblum
Pittsburgh movie.
If you say so.
Doug, I told you this.
The letter's I, Joe.
Independence Day. Very good. Another Jeff Goldblum movie, yeah is I, Joe. Independence Day.
Very good.
Another Jeff Goldblum movie, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, in keeping with using places in the title,
I went with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Doogie, the letter is T.
The Shining.
The Shining?
The Shining.
Okay.
That's the tea, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I went with The Fish to Save Pittsburgh.
The other tea, Aaron.
Trying to think what Doug is...
Who cares?
Terminator 2, Judgment Day.
Okay. That might have been something I wrote down.
I went with Talladega Nights, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.
S, Joe?
Sahara.
Mm-hmm.
I said Sleepless in Seattle,
because I'm doing Doug Loves Movies there
at the Neptune Theater on September 4th.
B is your letter, Doogie.
I'm worried this might not be
right.
Bad news bears?
I think that's right.
I don't think there's a the in it.
It is the. Devin says it's got a the.
I'm glad we have a resident expert.
He's pretty good.
And he could be wrong, but I think he's right.
I think he's the bad news bears.
Yeah, yeah.
So, sorry, Doogie, you're out.
That's okay.
I went with born in East L.A.
Yay, Cheech.
I even wrote yay, Cheech on there.
The next letter is U.
Oh, shit.
U.
I know, it's kind of a tougher one.
U-5-7-1. Oh. Oh, shit. U. I know, it's kind of a tougher one. U-5-7-1.
Oh!
Oh, good one.
When that movie came out, me and one of my friends,
Nick Schwartz, I think it was,
we had a gag where we'd go, we'd say,
want to go to a movie?
The other one would go, U-5-7-1.
The other one would go, U-5-7-1.
I went with Up in Smoke, yay, Cheech and Chong.
What do you got for R?
Robocop.
Yeah, not the Robocop.
It's just straight up Robocop both times.
That Robocop.
Yeah, the newer one.
Yeah, okay.
The Michael Keaton one, the newer one. Yeah, okay. Aw.
The Michael Keaton one?
The good one.
I went with Race to Witch Mountain.
Oh.
So that I could again say,
yay, Cheech.
The one with Dwayne Johnson.
Oh, the good one.
G. Back to you good one. G.
Back to you, yeah, Aaron.
Doogie's out.
He's just going to enjoy his donut.
Gattaca.
Uh-huh.
Dude loves Gattaca.
I went with Grandview, USA.
And finally...
No reason.
Sounded like a place.
These are all places or chicha chong movies
if you haven't figured that out.
You didn't go with Gettysburg?
No.
Okay.
This is probably not the best time to go with that right now.
It's not what the country needs.
H.
Heathers. Yeah! Good job. I went not what the country needs. H. Heathers.
Yeah! Good job.
I went with Hood Wink 2.
Hood versus evil.
Yay, Cheech and Chong!
They're both
voices in that. I've never seen it.
Let's play.
You guys all got through that successfully,
so let's just get into the next one.
We'll do the same order again.
Actually, since Doogie lost,
we'll start with Joe and then go to Aaron and then Doogie.
And it's time for the fun new game,
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
We're covered in donut. I know, we just had donuts in our hands and we're covered in donut.
I know, we just had donuts in our hands
and we're covered with this shit.
It's toxic. You still got some on you.
I know, it's good. It's ridiculous.
Take a shower.
Looks like you just came from
an all-male screening of Magic Mike XL.
Because women would be shooting cum across the theater
if they could while they're watching that movie.
The women in the theater when I saw it
went absolutely apeshit several times.
Did you?
I heard in some theaters,
people, women are throwing money at the screen.
Did you go to a screener?
No, I just saw it over here at the waterfront.
I went to a screener, and it was,
I was like, I thought I walked into somebody's
bachelorette party. I was like, am I supposed to be here?
It was bananas. Yeah, nonsense.
Sex in the city.
Bananas.
Yeah, yeah. It's an apt description.
It was bananas. That's some warming up
for tagline. Every way you can imagine.
Magic Mike XXL. It was
bananas. It was
salami.
All right, Joe. We're going to start with you, buddy.
I'm going to say a tagline from a motion
picture. Sometimes movies have several
taglines, so I just pick one that I like
if they list more on IMDb.
Of course,
IMDb.
The first
one. What movie, and it'll go to you, Aaron, if Joe doesn't IMDB. And the first one,
what movie,
and it'll go to you, Aaron,
if Joe doesn't get it,
what movie has the tagline,
the dancing's over,
now it gets dirty?
Dirty Dancing Havana Nights?
The dancing is over, Joe.
There's more dancing in Dirty Dancing 2.
Let's go to Aaron.
The dancing's over.
Now it gets dirty.
This is going to be a rough game for you guys if this one's hard.
The dancing is over.
Now it gets dirty.
Now it gets dirty. Now it gets dirty.
Yeah.
Maybe if I do it here.
Say it like how I say it, it's going to make you figure it out.
The dancing is over.
Now it gets dirty.
I have no idea.
Do you want to guess something?
Havana.
What?
The dancing is over. Oh. What? The dancing is...
Oh, uh...
What the...
Step it up two. I don't know.
Are you going up with step up two?
Step up?
Step up two.
Yes.
Nope.
Doogie?
Strictly ballroom?
Good guess.
The dancing is over.
RoboCop.
I couldn't be more clear about how there's no...
Why would they mention dancing if it's not about...
There's no dancing in this movie.
Yeah, that's hard.
It's like, well, I guess it's a movie where you're not supposed to dance.
I don't know why anybody's yelling out or even quietly saying any names of movies.
Please stop doing that.
Doogie.
But you understand it's confusing because the words dirty and dancing are in it.
Right.
And they're like, it's not dirty dancing.
So let's analyze this for a second.
Who starred in Dirty Dancing?
Well, Swayze.
And what movie would he be in where the dancing is over, but now it's getting dirty?
Oh, Roadhouse. That's correct. Yes! and what movie would he be in where the dancing is over but now it's getting dirty?
Oh, Roadhouse.
That's correct. Yes!
I thought this was the most softball one I've ever seen.
That's hard because, man, they used another movie
to promote his neck.
That's bullshit.
Was that the same studio?
The weapons aren't lethal.
Now it gets brave.
Yeah, exactly.
That's hard.
That's like two movies.
The playhouse is empty.
It's time to get mysterious.
Mystery Men, I guess.
Pee Wee Herman was in Mystery Men.
Well, that was hard.
Barely.
He was the stinky one. Right, but he was Paul Reubens, not Pee Wee Herman.
No, I know, but Paul Reubens was in...
They're the same person.
I get it.
I get that.
I don't know if you knew.
But you know what I mean?
You could have done, you know.
Big Top Pee-wee?
Yeah.
The playhouse is empty.
Now they're at a circus.
Yeah.
Better?
It's about to get circus.
Watch out for the elephants.
All right.
So let's do another round, though, because this is so much fun.
But that was a softball.
Okay.
That was easy.
That was one where if you hadn't heard it before,
you might be able to put two and two together
and figure it out.
But we'll see.
This next one, I'm not going to tell you
whether it's hard or easy.
And that's what it is.
We're not going to tell you if it's hard or easy.
That'd be a fun tagline.
No.
Joe.
Have the time of your life.
How is it spelled?
Which part?
H-A-V-E.
Have the time of your life.
Okay, yeah.
You think I was saying half the time of your life?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Half the time of your life.
I don't know.
I said have.. I said half.
Okay.
Not half.
Dirty dancing at Van Nights.
That's incorrect.
I did.
Aaron.
I feel like Bert Kreischer is here.
Half the time of your life.
Dirty dancing.
Correct.
Have the time of your life.
Dirty dancing.
Correct.
Now I've had the time of my life.
I would have guessed time cop.
All right, Doogie.
First, he was a hard target.
Now, he's stuck in time.
I get it now.
It's fun.
Yeah.
We're going to start with Doogie on this one,
and Joe is out, and Aaron has a chance if Doogie can't get it.
The fight for the future begins.
The fight for the future begins.
Oh, Doogie.
I just said that.
That's not part of it.
Oh, oh, oh.
It's not the fight for the future begins, Doogie.
What movies have I been in?
Damn it.
Oh, I know this one.
The fight for the future begins.
It can't be Time Cop because I just said that.
That'd be weird coincidence.
Terminator 2?
Incorrect.
And not just because you didn't say the full title.
The Terminator 2.
Aaron, do you think you know it?
The fight for the future begins.
Oh, jeez.
I love how tortured you're like,
should I abort this fetus?
That's how you're like,
God, should I?
That is serious,
you guys.
Think it over.
I'm just going to say Back to the Future 2.
That's not a terrible guess.
That's everybody, though, right?
The correct answer is The Matrix.
You probably thought of that.
I did think of that, but that was like... And then you decided, why say that out loud?
Yeah, but it was like, but is that about the future?
It's the fight for the future.
Which you could say about any movie where there's a conflict of any kind.
Yeah, but wasn't The Matrix in the present? Fight for the future, which you could say about any movie where there's a conflict of any kind.
Yeah, but wasn't the Matrix in the present?
All right, let's do one more. One more.
Okay.
Calm down.
Take a lot out of you.
He is pounding Gatorade if you're at home listening right now.
We'll start with Doogie, and then we'll go to Aaron.
And I'm letting Joe back in on this one,
because if you two guys don't get this one,
I want Joe to have a shot.
It's just three words.
Enter the world.
Enter the world.
Jurassic World?
I think that would probably be more like
enter the world at your own risk
and get eaten or something like that.
No, not Jurassic World.
Aaron, enter the world.
Enter it.
What did he say, enter the world. Enter it. What did he say?
Enter the world.
So far, repeating it is not
working for you.
That is correct. Two points.
Wayne's World.
I mean,
you know, it's like somebody's world
and it's like, you know about this world,
now there's a movie about it, so enter Wayne's World. Guys, you know, it's like somebody's world, and it's like, you know about this world, now there's a movie about it,
so enter Wayne's World.
Guys, you shut your mouth.
There are a lot of movies that this would apply to,
but that would be a terrible tagline for Wayne's World.
Wayne's World probably had a humorous tagline.
This is a little more serious.
It's Wayne's World, we just live in it.
Oh.
Yeah.
Joe?
I'm going to keep the trend going and say Spice World.
Oh.
See, that's a good guess, too.
That's a good guess, too.
I'm going to keep the trend of wildly stupid answers going.
The tagline for that was probably
spice up your life.
Did anybody get it right?
What do you mean, did anybody get it right?
Yeah, I mean,
can we speed guess?
No speed guessing. This game is over.
I'm going to get more comments on Twitter.
People told me, it'll be easier if you tell everybody
the year. And I'm like, I hate... on Twitter. People told me, it'll be easier if you tell everybody the year.
And I'm like, I hate... Yeah, exactly.
Somebody went...
I mean...
And I agree.
Enter the World is for a little motion picture
that made more money than any movie ever called Avatar.
Avatar.
Enter the World.
Because it was the first, you know,
really, really, really good 3D movie
in terms of taking you to a place
and you enter it.
What about Tron?
And then you're there.
What?
Tron.
Tron could have been it.
A lot of movies could have been Enter the World.
I was thinking...
That's part of the fun.
Or lack of it.
Benjamin Button, Tree of Life.
I don't know.
Spice World.
Sure, let's list movies it could have been.
That's a fun game.
Bad News Bears.
Half points.
Instead of that, let's move on to the next game.
Let's play something that I am now calling Reverse Malton.
Is that a sex move?
He's pulling a Reverse Malton.
I'm going to pull a Reverse Malton on you guys,
and then depending on how this goes,
if we have time remaining,
the final game will be a round of Last Man Stanton.
And I know a lot of people in the crowd
think they have the perfect answer for Last Man Stanton,
so I'm going to let them think about that a little longer
while we play this.
I'm going to give...
Who won that last thing?
Nobody.
Nobody.
Who won the one before that? Everyone Nobody. Who won the one before that?
Everyone lost. Who won the game before that?
Aaron won last time.
Aaron, okay. So Aaron gets to go first
and then we will switch it up
and we'll go to Joe and then to Doogie.
And Aaron gets to pick
between three films that I'm going to name
and then
once we've chosen the movie
I'm going to tell you how many actors
Leonard Maltin lists in the cast, and then you bid how many you think you can name in
any particular order. You just have to get ones that Leonard listed. And if someone bids
all the names, the next person just has to automatically say name it, and I will be amazed if they can.
But Ghostbusters, Jeff Tate, and 8,
the hateful 8, is the record so far.
Would you like to do Prisoner of Shark Island?
I got this one.
I'm just joking about that.
I got in there accidentally. Name all the sharks.
Petey, Snaggle, Finster.
Splashy.
President of Shark Island.
Do you know any of the names of the actors from Prisoner of Shark Island?
Dr. Mud.
As himself.
Dr. Mud as himself.
All right, you get to pick between three films, Aaron,
and they are
Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, or Spider-Man 3.
Which one can you name more of the actors in of those three?
You're cold-hearted snake, Doug Linson.
I know, I can't believe I threw out three gigantically, hugely popular films,
all of which you have seen.
The first Spider-Man.
Spider-Man.
It sounded like somebody was clapping with mittens on.
Two and a half stars from right now.
He lists nine names.
How many names from the original
Spider-Man from 2002
can you name?
He's working it out with his fingers
and his brain.
Roadbrow.
Does anyone have a count?
A little confusion.
Just count them out in advance, then tell them.
What?
Just count them out in advance, then I'm going to give you a number.
That's cheating.
All right.
Wait, no, that's not cheating.
If you go, oh, I have six.
Okay, I guess.
It's like saying somebody's cheating at a math test if they look at their fingers.
Everybody take this test with your hands behind your back.
Put the number two pencil in your mouth.
What do you think?
I'm going to try for five.
He's saying five, Joe.
Do you think you could name more than five people
that were in the first Spider-Man?
Name them, buddy. Go for it.
All right, so if you can name
five people, you're gonna get a point. First person
to two points is gonna win. Alright.
Name five people. Tobey
McGuire. One. Kirsten Dunst.
Two.
Lawrence Fishburne.
Oh, he was in the new
one!
Is this really happening?
Wait.
You're fucking, you're confusing a goddamn
Andrew Garfield.
He's still thinking of the
Matrix.
I would have just let him
name two more, but we were all shocked.
No, that's done.
It's done.
Who played the editor of the newspaper
in Spider-Man, Aaron?
Huh?
The first three Spider-Mans.
Who played, I think his name's J. Jonah Jameson.
Who played him?
No, it's...
He just won an Oscar.
Yeah, what do you say when you're just kidding?
Just kidding.
No, if you shortened it.
If you decide to go the hip new way
of saying just kidding.
It's J.K. Rowling.
What?
That's what I was thinking too.
It's like she was...
It's J.K. Simmons.
I forgot to ask you guys
if you'd be playing
with individual brains
or as one entity of dumb.
I just, you know,
I just,
I won this a couple times,
and now I feel like playing shitty, so that's my plan.
Thank you, thank you.
Yeah, the reason you won is you were playing against Bert Kreischer.
I mean, I'll still take a win with an asterisk.
For those that are all cocky at home, thinking they know the nine names,
Willem Dafoe wasn't mentioned, James Franco wasn't mentioned,
Cliff Robertson wasn't mentioned, Ros Franco wasn't mentioned. Cliff Robertson wasn't mentioned.
Rosemary Harris, J.K. Simmons,
Gary Becker.
I don't know what he is or what he
played. And Bill Nunn, who of course
is Radio Raheem in
Do the Right Thing. Randy Savage
didn't make the cut.
Randy Savage didn't make the cut.
Bruce Campbell?
Bruce Campbell didn't make it.
Not for the first Spider-Man.
Yeah, maybe.
Stop yelling out more names.
I don't give a shit who's not listed.
Don't care at all.
Not at all.
Don't ever do it again.
Everyone listening, when you attend a show,
I don't care who we're missing.
It's up to Leonard to decide which names we're going with.
And Joe gets a point.
Joe is on the board with one point.
Oh, man.
I'm starting to feel like...
Like when I'm wrong, I'm really fucking wrong.
Do you notice this trend?
Yeah.
Probably shouldn't come on here anymore
because you have your own movie podcast.
It's kind of hurting your credibility a little bit.
Although I wouldn't have minded
Lawrence Fishburne being in the first three.
I mean, it was, you know, I mean, guys.
I like colorblind casting.
Spider-Man is Lawrence Fishburne.
I didn't mean in the lead role.
That's Tobey Maguire.
I haven't seen that movie since it came out.
Doogie gets to pick...
Oh, okay.
That's a good reason to not remember.
Doogie gets to pick the next one,
and then we'll go to Joe.
And for everybody
it's last call
if you want any more beverages.
Closing time.
One last call
for alcohol.
So finish your whiskey
and beer.
Did you, like on the drive here, were you like
I'm funny,
but I want people to know my other talent.
I know who I want to pick my name tag.
Karaoke go-to's.
Volume one.
Doogie, now Doug has to pay for that, okay?
Someday we might have to pay for songs and podcasts,
but so far we're good.
Joe, would you like...
That was Doogie.
I'm sorry, Doogie.
Closing time.
Stop it.
That's probably why I went to Joe.
I get knocked down, but I can have a game.
That's a different song.
That's the bridge. That's the bridge of that. I get knocked down, but I get up again. That's a different song. That's the bridge.
That's the bridge of that.
I'm almost positive.
No, I think you've only been listening to mashups
lately. Oh, that's the girl
talk version. Sorry. Yeah.
Alright, you get to choose between three
movies, Doogie, and they are
Stealth,
Health, or
Elf.
Elf?
Health, stealth, or believe it or not, there was a movie called Health.
That sounds exciting.
You and your pancreas, how to take care of it.
So yeah, I'd say pick between elf and stealth. Yeah, I've only ever heard of... Which one do you think you know more say pick between Elf and Stealth.
Yeah, I've only ever heard of...
Which one do you think you know more actors from?
Elf.
Then that's the one you're going to pick?
Yes.
Good call.
I'm going to make it hard for myself.
Elf!
No.
Leonard Maltin lists 7, 10, 13, 14, 16 names
in the motion picture called Elf.
Holiday classic to some.
Others prefer Scrooged.
How many out of 16
can you name, Doogie Horner?
Two.
That's a smart opening vid
with this panel.
I'm throwing the gauntlet down.
You'll be like,
Lawrence Fishburne, first of all.
Doug need a donut break.
Oh, careful.
Are you giving them donuts
to the people that yell out names?
Who wants a chocolate one?
This guy has a shield.
You should throw one at the shield.
Yeah.
Ping, ping, ping, ping.
Ping.
That's the strongest medal I've ever seen.
Captain Diabetes over here.
Deflecting high blood sugar one donut at a time.
Yeah, tag team.
Oh.
That was almost like that guy at the baseball game.
He had a baby in one arm and he caught the ball.
All right, so I'll throw some more donuts in a second.
Joe, he says he can name two names from the movie Elf.
I'm going to say name it.
What?
I can't think
The hell?
I keep thinking of the cast of Bad Santa
So I'm going to fail
If I switched it to Bad Santa
How many would you bid?
One
Are you shitting me?
No, I'd get at least
Maybe two
Alright, here comes another donut Are you shitting me? No, I'd get at least, maybe two, maybe two.
All right, here comes another donut.
This one doesn't have any frosting or anything,
so I'm going to throw it far.
Go third tier.
Oh, Doug getting good looks at the combine.
You threw that so far, it landed in Pittsburgh.
We're in Hatfield.
Homestead.
Homestead.
So nobody up here knows anything, basically.
Great to be here in New Hampshire.
Can you name... That'd be a fun strategy to pretend that you'd be like,
I don't know, two?
And then sucker the person in into going, well, then name
them. But can you name two people from Elf?
I was sort of, I was 50%
bluffing.
I have a good guess for who the second
person is.
Out of 16 names, you think you might pull
the second one.
From a perennial holiday classic.
There's been a lot of stuff.
No, I'm kidding.
I wouldn't do it.
Yeah, that wouldn't be a bad guess, but what are your name two?
Well, Will Ferrell.
Sure.
And then I think...
Wait, wait, wait.
That's one.
Will, one.
Ferrell, two.
So I think James Caan plays his dad, right?
Yes, James Caan. his dad right yes James Caan
the top two
billed people
how did you do it
Zoe Deschanel
Mary Steenburgen
blah blah blah
Ed Asner
who played my uncle
on an episode of
Curb Your Enthusiasm
alright
I'm so bad
at this game
and I'm still doing
okay yeah that's right Doogie's got a point everybody All right. I'm so bad at this game, and I'm still doing okay.
Yeah, that's right.
Doogie's got a point, everybody.
Feels good.
I thought this game would be easier.
No, it is.
Than regular Leonard Maltin.
Jeez.
Somebody just went, Fishburn.
Someone's got a new nickname.
I can't believe it.
All right.
Who challenged?
Oh, you challenged.
Okay, so Aaron,
you get to pick this time.
You did a great job
of picking the first time around.
How many people
do you think you could name
in addition to Lawrence Fishburn
from The Amazing Spider-Man?
Oh, I had James Franco
and William Ford.
The Amazing
Spider-Man. Oh, that one.
The one that you pulled Lawrence Fishburne
from.
Who else could you name in that?
I said one name earlier.
What a movie nut.
All right.
Here we go.
Here's your three options.
I didn't like it.
I don't care.
I don't like it.
I'm going to close my eyes
and forget all these people.
I don't care.
It was in and out.
Yeah, I hear you.
I understand that.
I bet you all three
of these movies
were in and out
of your brain
but you get to pick
so you get to pick the one you have the best chance on
and maybe try to do kind of a poker face thing
if you want
to confuse the other players
we're going to go to Joe next and then Doogie
because Joe always challenges
he's got one move
your options are,
and I'll give you the three choices,
and you can think about it while I throw some donuts.
All the right moves,
all about the Benjamins,
or all dogs go to heaven.
Oh.
Are you shitting me?
Are you Are you
Doug can I throw one?
Yeah
Thank you
Whoa
I put them right in their hands.
I was aiming for...
Yeah.
Got cocky.
I'm going to try.
What happened to the one I threw to you earlier?
It went away.
Did somebody else grab it?
It went back behind you?
Okay, put your hand up again.
He had to reach for it.
That was my fault.
He had to reach for it. That my fault He had to reach for it
That wasn't a good throw
I like how he just got the filling
He somehow snatched the cream out of the center
This one's going to be an awful situation
For somebody
Do it underhand
Hey
Alright, if anybody else brought donuts,
keep them to yourself.
Which one of those would you like to play, Aaron?
Oh, that's so hard.
You had all that donut throw in time to think about it.
All dogs go to heaven.
For reals?
Alright.
I hope we get a three-way tie out of this.
Where's my phone?
I think we're tied right now.
Where did I put it?
I put it in my pocket to throw some donuts.
All right.
Of course, this is an animated picture from 1989.
And Leonard lists eight names.
Apologies, sevenologies. Seven names.
Seven names.
How many?
I cannot say one.
I have two.
Did you just really announce that?
Have I talked to you at all about
you can't name one and you're bidding two?
Two.
You just said out loud,
I cannot name any,
but I'm going to bid two.
We know what Joe's going to do.
Is that what you really just did?
Two.
Two.
I can't name one.
Eight.
I can't name any, which is something you shouldn't say out loud.
Two.
If you'd had any confidence at all.
I have to do two.
It's a pride thing.
Certainly not a smart thing.
All right, Joe.
He says two names.
You could win this thing right now.
Oh, unless he's bluffing now and he actually knows.
Oh, that'd be a good bluff.
Oh.
I can't think of any.
I'm so stupid, I guess, too.
That's interesting.
They're like Scraps and Mr. Fluff.
Frito. All right, and Mr. Fluff. Frito.
All right, name it.
Name them.
All right, so name two.
Probably could have said one.
And Joe would have had to ask you to name it.
Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise.
Those are correct.
So were you bluffing?
Was it a double bluff?
It was my sister's
favorite movie.
Very nicely played.
We've got a three-way tie.
Dude, I'm so sorry
I called you stupid.
Thanks to my sister Lynn.
You are cagey.
Yeah.
You're hustling.
You're like, I'm not very good at, you know.
It's like, you're like, I'm not very good.
What do I do, like $100 a ball?
Like, you're the kind of guy in the pool.
I don't know what I'm doing.
Like, $3,000 a game?
What do you think?
I'm really bad.
Paul Newman.
Then you flap down a bunch of Benjamins.
Name that movie.
The Hustler.
All right.
Here's the tiebreaker.
I just picked the movie.
You guys don't get to decide.
We'll start with Doogie and go to Joe,
the great challenger.
If you do the call, I'm going to blow up any moment now. Doogie and go to Joe, the great challenger.
If you do the call and shit again...
I'm going to blow up any moment now.
One person got it and was offended
by it.
Thanks.
Now they're getting it back there.
Good job.
All right.
Doogie's going to start the bidding.
This is a little motion picture.
I'm going to pick a special one, very good one for the tiebreaker.
I want you to tell me how many out of 13 names you can name in the motion picture the Blues Brothers.
One. An all-time fave of mine.
Well, you know, bidding one,
at least, you know, probably move it
down the line a little bit.
I'll say
two.
He's just going to say call it. It doesn't matter
what I say. It doesn't matter
what you say. I think Joe's seen Blues Brothers.
I'll say three.
Yeah, there you go.
There you go, Joe.
I'm going to say five.
Whoa.
He says he can name five people,
five names listed by Leonard
from the Blues Brothers.
Doogie.
Six.
Oh.
I know what I'm...
Now I know what's gonna happen.
I've seen this movie many times.
All right, name him, Doogie.
Damn you.
What's your problem?
Yeah, I only know three.
I thought he thought
what was gonna happen on that? I thought he'd say
seven. Why?
He said three very tentatively.
That's true.
But you know, Aaron really
pulled a fast one with his pretending
to not know all dogs go to heaven.
That was pretty smooth, dude.
I like that.
I didn't know this game was going to have as much
strategy as it does.
And you have to name six names, Doogie.
And if you do, you win.
If you don't, Joe's taking this down to Chinatown.
Oh, really?
There's a Chinatown?
That's a different movie.
Can we get a challenge?
Where are we going?
All right.
Name six people that were in the Blues Brothers.
I bet...
Wait, so you don't think you could even name that initial two that you wagered?
No, no, I know those two, but I was...
I don't know if he listed them.
You know those two.
Steven Spielberg.
All right, I'm going to give you a break on this one,
because Spielberg is, in fact, he does have a cameo in the film.
Yeah.
But this is 13 people that Leonard lists
that have genuine parts in the film.
Okay, gotcha.
Not two words.
Dan Aykroyd.
Okay, that's one.
John Belushi.
That's two. You're doing great.
You've accomplished what everyone in this room can accomplish.
What else you got?
Does he list Ray Charles?
He sure does.
That's three.
Got one more than I thought I would.
Aretha Franklin.
That's four.
And don't say them as questions because you say any name that's wrong and you're done.
Okay.
It's just hard because you're not asking me, you're telling me.
Think about what you're going to say for your thing.
Enough with the singing.
These are the first guests who sing stalls.
Whoa, think, think.
It's the Blues Brothers.
It's better than whistling.
Shut up.
Oh, Devin's counting them.
I thought you had a question.
Okay, so that's four.
You only have to come up with two more
and you win this thing.
The Blues Brothers.
Epic motion picture.
It's a really good movie.
Two hours and ten minutes.
This guy's praying for you.
I know.
I mean, I don't want to give anything away,
but the way he's holding his arm right now
is kind of a clue.
Oh, Adolf Hitler.
That's a name.
Fucking Illinois Nazis.
I hate Illinois Nazis.
Yeah, I can think of the guy's faces.
Yeah, no, that's not going to help you.
You should probably go bigger.
Go with some bigger names that were in it.
Bigger names?
Yeah, you know how you just picked two famous singers?
Think about the movie, The Blues Brothers.
I bet you could sing all the songs from it.
Who sang those songs?
Don't sing, you guys.
Welcome to another episode of Pulling Teeth.
I can't see.
I'm your dentist, Dr. Doug.
Chuck Berry? Is Chuck Berry in it?
No, but that's not a terrible guess.
The other musicians that you could have mentioned are James Brown.
Ah!
Was in there.
They don't list Scatman Crothers in the 13.
Strangely, though, also Scatman Crothers isn't a musician and wasn't in it.
Now you're saying stuff from the audience that's wrong, so shut up.
Thank you.
Cab Calloway.
And then, yeah, they list Blues Brothers Band as one of the cast members.
And then Henry Gibson was the Nazi.
Carrie Fisher was the ex-girlfriend that was chasing him with guns and stuff.
John Candy was Orange Whip, three Orange Whips.
He's the cop that's chasing them,
and he enjoys some Orange Whips at the concert at the end.
I've said too much.
Joe Pettis is our winner!
Finally!
But we still
have time for
Last Man Stanton.
That was fun.
I will never win this show.
That was my first time winning.
It's the best feeling ever.
By letting you guys lose.
That's the easiest way to win.
Yeah, I always thought that was the case
with the regular Leonard Maltin game,
but a lot of them were slow to pick up on that.
But in this
case, we'll start with you, Joe, in a round of Last Man Stanton. Yeah.
Can Katie pick the name?
Erin gets to go second. If that's how you'd like to do it, I hope she's got a good one.
Katie, do you have a good name?
Do you know how the game works?
Do you have a name for Last Man's Den?
I take that back.
Katie should have choose.
You don't win nothing.
Lots of people think they have a great one.
My friend sitting right, don't just yell out a name.
That's never going to work.
Never going to work.
Dan Aykroyd will never be played in the history of the show
because you did that.
I think we've played him before, though, actually.
But the gentleman in the front row
that has a signed picture of Bob Newhart
that I asked him earlier during the break
if that was a prized possession,
and he said, not really.
It's personalized and everything.
Is it real?
Is it real?
And I hope your suggestion isn't Bob Newhart.
It is?
Danny DeVito.
Danny DeVito.
I like it.
All right.
I like it.
I'll play two.
And whoever comes in second will be our winner.
And all the prizes.
I mean, I might not win, but we'll see.
Joe, name any movie that's got Danny DeVito in it.
Twins.
Yes.
And we move over to Aaron.
Throw Mama from the Train.
Uh-huh.
Mama, of course, was played by Lawrence Fishburne.
One of his greatest roles.
That guy can play anything.
So versatile.
Doogie.
Batman Returns.
Yeah, he does.
I'm so afraid of that one.
He was the penguin.
Yeah, it was very good.
Yeah.
Flip her hands.
I'm going to go with Junior.
Aaron.
My turn.
Oh, did I do it wrong?
Somehow we had the order going up.
Yeah, it's my turn now.
Wait, what happened?
Oh, yeah, so yeah, okay.
So just Joe go.
We just skipped me on that end, but that's cool.
All right.
Throw Mama off the train?
You know that he just said that a minute ago, right?
Oh, I didn't say that.
No, I wasn't paying attention, obviously.
It's also not the right...
Well, he did say it differently, though.
Yeah, he did.
He did give it a different inflection,
which is fun.
Yes, the European version.
Toss Mommy from the train. You didn't Yes, the European version. Toss Mommy from the Tram.
You didn't hear me say that?
No.
Next to you?
I wasn't paying attention to you guys.
Well, that's a big part of it,
is knowing which names have been said so far.
Also, that's the only movie I can think of,
so yeah, go for it, I guess.
That's the only Danny DeVito movie you could think of?
Other than Batman Returns, yeah.
Oh, so you could just think of the ones
that people say near you.
It's all been taken, yeah.
When they say them, then you go,
oh, yeah, he was in that.
Okay, so you're out, Joe?
I'm out, I guess, yeah, right?
You don't want to try another one?
Oh, uh, no, I can't think of anything.
Okay, you're out.
Sorry, Kate. Quick fall for our think of anything. Okay. You're out. Sorry, Kate.
Quick fall for our champion, really.
Yeah, pass me that name tag.
You got to destroy it.
Is it my turn?
Yes, sir.
War of the Roses.
Mm-hmm.
Underrated movie.
I mean, it was a hit or whatever,
but people think it's too dark for a comedy.
Dog and cat lovers don't really love it.
But I think it's great.
All right, so I'm going to go in the right order this time.
And I'm going to say, because he is one,
Get Shorty.
Now Doogie.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Yes!
I bet a nickel.
I bet a nickel.
I bet a nickel.
Says that over and over again.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
That's a good one.
Aaron?
I believe...
I don't know why this popped in there.
It just popped in there.
He...
Thanks, Devin.
He did a voice in the movie Hercules.
We've got audience confirmation.
I know that Bobcat Goldthwait was a voice in Hercules,
but I don't remember if DeVito was.
He was...
He's the voice of Pan. Let me guess, he was in Hercules, but I don't remember if DeVito was. He's the voice of Pan.
Let me guess, he was not Hercules.
I'm Hercules!
It's always sunny in Philadelphia.
Philadelphia does not count.
It's a TV program.
Oh, it's my turn.
I'm going to go with, since you mentioned
One Flew the Cuckoo's Nest,
with Jack Nicholson, I'm going to go with another
Jack Nicholson movie that also had
John Belushi in it, in addition to Danny DeVito,
and it's called Going South.
Going South.
Deep enough.
Nobody remembers that one.
Nor should they.
I guess so.
Yeah, yeah.
Trying to make it easy on you,
leave you some of the bigger ones.
Thank you, I do appreciate that.
Oh, what do you got?
Matilda.
Yes!
Matilda.
Aaron's got his thinking face on.
I wish the people at home could see
the faces Aaron's been making.
Because they just...
He's like...
It seems like he should be an easy one,
but it's kind of tough.
It's not easy.
He's done a lot of TV over the years,
and of course he's directed a bunch of stuff.
I don't know if this is true.
It's so ridiculous.
Where'd Aaron go?
I want it to be true.
I was going to say Matilda.
Matilda.
Was he...
This is so dumb.
Let Peter in and say it.
It's so stupid
Wasn't he a voice in Look Who's Talking 2?
I don't think so
And you know what, even if he was, you're out
Who was the third baby in Look Who's Talking 2?
Who was the second fucking, was it Joan Rivers or something?
Also, wait, wait, wait
Do not ask them questions Because then they yell out answers Who was the second fucking, was it Joan Rivers or something? Also, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Do not ask them questions, because then they yell out answers,
and they get in yelling out answers mood,
and that ends up being a problem.
So, you know, for Christ's sake.
It's hard.
What's hard?
I thought he was one of the babies in that sequel.
You're out.
All right.
I'm going to go with Hoffa.
Oh, good one.
Doogie, name one more, and you're the winner.
Oh.
Or don't name one more, and you're the winner.
That's a tough one.
Awful people?
Is that what it was called?
Do you know that movie?
Terrible, awful people?
Really, I'm awful at this game?
All right, well, you win anyway,
but I think you mean other people's money?
No.
Ruthless people. All right, Dookie's our winner, you guys.
By default.
That means all the prizes go to...
Who gets the prizes?
Crispy Laura Donuts.
Donuts and coffee since 1937.
I don't know if that's your fault.
Come on, Laura.
Come get your prizes.
Here she comes.
Congratulations all the way from the back.
Good job.
Congratulations, Laura.
I passed that down here, so I have a shithead for the end.
And Aaron, what would you like to plug, sir?
Well, I just started my...
I have a movie review podcast
with Sean Collier here in town,
if you guys know him.
It's a Handle the Truth podcast,
but I just started my own dad podcast.
It's called Grown Dad Business,
because that's all I do,
is bitch about my wife and kids on stage.
So Doug had kind of something to do with it.
Did you know that, Doug?
I did?
You said, why don't you do a movie about dad
Or a podcast about dad stuff
And I was like okay
So now you pay Doug residuals
When we were in DC
And I was like that's a good idea
It must have been so high when I said that
Humor, obliteration
So yeah my podcast Grown Dad Business
Talk to people about kids
and growing up and stuff like that. That's fun.
And I'll be all over the country in August.
I'll be in Wichita,
Little Rock, Bloomington
at the Comedy Attic, and then I'm back
to help out the Pittsburgh
Comedy Festival here.
Yeah.
And what's your
website?
AaronKleiber.com K-L-E-I-B-E-R
I before E except in German
And Aaron is spelled like most boys spell it
Yes
There's still this occasional Aaron that's E-R-I-N
That's a guy
I don't get that
Joe, what about you, buddy?
I have a bunch of underwear comedy shows coming up.
I have shows in Baltimore, D.C., Louisville, Atlanta, and a couple other places.
You can check out underwearcomedy.com.
Underwear comedy.
Underwearcomedy.com.
I'm impressed you secured that website.
Yeah, for 99 cents.
It was awesome.
It's awesome.
Love it.
Doogie, what's up?
You can follow me on Twitter,
at Doogie Horner. You can go to my
website, doogiehorner.com, and you
can check out my books, everything
explained through flowcharts, 100
Ghosts, and it's not out
yet. I don't know if it's up on Amazon.
It's not coming out until the fall, but my
next book will be some very interesting
cats perhaps you weren't aware of.
Oh, good. The title's funny.
Confirmed. Yeah, and it's pictures
of a bunch of cats.
That are interesting.
Well, I wouldn't. It's all dogs.
And they're...
No, it's
short stories and illustrations of
cats.
So everyone's confused.
Douglovesmovies.com
for all of my stuff.
And one more round of applause for my guests,
Aaron Kleiber,
Joe Pettis,
and Doogie Horner.
And as always,
diarrhea is a shithead.
100%.
And this is the last one,
so the theme song's gonna kick in.
You don't have to reply or say anything.
And it's...
He'll get the hang of this eventually.
Adolf Hitler is a shithead.
Thank you guys so much.
See you.