Doug Loves Movies - Doug Loves Scary Movies
Episode Date: October 31, 2012From Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco on Halloween, Doug welcomes comedians Arj Barker, Jonah Ray, and Rory Scovel to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Californi...a Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody
Still have to look every time
What am I going to say this week?
Let's take a look
Hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love scary movies What am I going to say this week? Let's take a look. Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love scary movies!
This is Doug Loves Scary Movies,
coming to you from Cobb's Comedy Club on Wednesday, October 31st, Halloween,
2 Oceans 12.
Did you guys go to the Giants Parade? Did you guys go to the Giants parade?
Oh shit
That started like 11am
To get a spot where you weren't 30 people deep
And couldn't see shit
You had to get there hours and hours earlier
So I hope
When you say that you saw the parade
You mean on television
And that you guys will still have some energy left
Tonight
People are like, San Francisco's gonna be crazy that night
And I'm like, really? What time's the parade?
They're like, at 11am
And I was like, really? How crazy are they gonna be
When they can't take work off two days in a row
Because of the parade
I need a couple parade days
I've got ticker tape lung Parade. I need a couple parade days.
I've got ticker tape lung.
Ticker tape.
Tipper cape.
Oh, by the way, I'm a fat Andy Warhol.
That's what I'm dressed up as. Nice costume, San Francisco. It says so right here. It must be true. Look at you
guys. We got like some sort of rabbit over there. Are you from Donnie Darko? Am I supposed
to be creeped out by you? Don't look at him. Don't look at the Mad Hatter. Oh, you're the
White Rabbit and the Mad Hatter.
Boom! I'm good at this. Life Aquatic with Steve
Azoo is in the house.
Harry Potter is in the house, Mr. Potter.
Yeah,
expecto patronum.
Do you go to sporting events and yell out that?
That'd be fun
what's your outfit young lady
safari she says and just throws her hands up
fucking safari
I had a safari hat and a safari dress laying around
safari get off my back
look at who's sitting next to me
he's the one that put all the work in
he guilted me into figuring out safari Get off my back. Look at who's sitting next to me. He's the one that put all the work in.
He guilted me into figuring out safari.
Because he's dressed up as... A tiger.
A tiger.
That is kind of sad that someone had to tell me
that they're supposed to be a tiger.
Like, I know the two of you play baseball.
And I know this guy is Sherlock Holmes,
and that's Chaplin sitting next to him.
Right?
You're what?
You're an oil man.
Oh, shit.
I'm drinking vodka and soda and not a milkshake.
So don't even try to get any part of it.
Do you guys like movies?
Because there's going to be a lot more movie references.
A lot more movie references coming up.
Since last I spoke and you listened,
I did a 420 stand-up show at Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Arizona.
An opening act, Sean Jordan, took on an audience member.
Yeah, just one
in the Leonard Maltin game
and
I failed to record it.
So to recap,
because no one in the audience
cheated and recorded it, because I
discourage recording, but that one guy did help out
that one time.
We chose Rob in the audience because he was
dressed like McFly from Back to the Future
and he had a hoverboard
that said Rob to the Future
which is not a terribly
good pun but
we still appreciated the hoverboard
and he chose
the paranormal blacktivity category
which is movies with a black ghost in them
and
and Sean Jordan couldn't name
Happy Gilmore in eight names
even though one of them was
Bob fucking Barker
how many movies is Bob Barker
in that also have a
black ghost
that was a small
insanely small subset of things.
It's just Happy Gilmore.
Now it's time for Watch This, Not That.
Audience member, scary movie edition.
Let's ask this young lady who plays for the Red Sox.
What's your favorite scary movie?
Jacob's Ladder.
Jacob's Ladder.
See where the ladies are at
they go a little bit more psychological
on this shit
dudes are more intense about what they
like and I might side with the dude
but let's see what this gentleman has to say
what's a scary movie you like sir
Event Horizon
Event Horizon
alright
I don't remember being even remotely scared
for a fucking moment of Event Horizon.
Really?
Scary?
You misheard me.
You thought I said boring science fiction.
So I disqualify him on the grounds of having shit in his ears
and
mishearing me
but answering very accurately
what I meant to say
oh your fries are here
your consolation prize has arrived
thank you for playing our game
I don't even remember what movie she said anymore
Jacob's Ladder
watch Jacob's Ladder not Event Horizon
this has been
watch this not that
scary audience
version
because that guy is scaring me a little bit
if he thinks that's scary
he's got some bodies at home
how'd you like American Psycho yeah good yeah he's got some bodies at home.
How'd you like American Psycho?
Yeah, good.
Yeah, he's like, yes.
As he dips his french fry into the blood.
Who is that sitting next to Steve Zizou?
Is that Robocop?
Holy shit, he doesn't seem comfortable at all.
Oh, no, don't do anything. he just stood up, that's crazy.
Just sit down, thank you for your cooperation.
But that's awesome. I hope you get picked.
Oh, is that the Swedish chef back there?
Bark, bark, bark!
That's awesome.
Do you have giant man hands?
Uh oh Is this still
Are we still doing something?
Is this show still happening?
Austin, Texas
I'll be at the Fun Fun Fun Fest this weekend
The fest so fun
They couldn't settle on one
Vancouver, Canada
I'm taping at Douglas Movies at 420
At Comedy Mix on Saturday, November 17th
Now it's time for Not for Emetophobes
Yeah, better late than never edition
Even though it's almost out of theaters
I highly recommend End of Watch
But Emetophobes should know
That Jake Gyllenhaal
has an extended dry heave
after making a shocking
discovery
in the back room of a house
so that's all you need to know
Jake Gyllenhaal is shocked by something
that he sees in a room
that's not a bad spoiler
when that happens
hit the deck emetophobes,
because you're in for a long session of dry heaving.
This has been not for emetophobes.
Let's look and see what's in the prize bag.
Let's look into the prize bag.
Oh, we got some good stuff in here.
Now, nobody involved in it is here,
but I have this notepad thing that is pretty cool that is, for some reason, oh, the rest of the prizes fell on the floor.
For some reason, this was sent to me from, like, it's from Kenny Powers.
Like, Kenny Powers sent this, and yeah, and like I said, neither the fictional character or the actor who plays him is here
but I thought it would be a fun thing to give away
especially on Halloween
I'm tricking you guys a little bit
with these treats
they had these back at the hotel
I don't know what the fuck the deal is
but orange and black water
I guess it's just special
for the giants
I guess
so that's cool.
Some guy on the road gave me a movie.
Hang on, I'm going to sneeze.
I'm allergic to bad movies,
and this movie is called Death Nurse.
And just look at the cover.
It looks ridiculous.
So he gave me some copies of Death Nurse,
so I had to throw that into the prize bag on Halloween
and for the next two weeks after.
And a copy of my CD, Smug Life,
and the Doug Diggs-it of this particular bag
is George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead.
That's my favorite zombie movie
with the Dawn of the Dead remake
and Shaun of the Dead coming close behind those.
One of my guests brought a
$20 gift certificate to the House of
Nanking. Fantastic
restaurant here in town
that I recommend to like, that's that
place that anybody comes to town, they don't know
anything and they say to me, what restaurant should I
go to? I don't know shit. But I noticed
a House of Nanking and they'll go
and the people that work there will
yell at them, and they'll have
a fantastic meal.
And they'll thank me later for it.
So it works out good. A bunch of candy
from various candy companies. I don't
want to name until they come up with
some money. I don't know why
candy companies aren't sponsoring a
podcast hosted by a stoner.
From HouseOfHaaha.com,
it's a Ghostbusters shirt, but the ghost looks different, and
I don't know how else to describe it, but it's kind of
cool looking. It invokes the idea of Ghostbusters. And from
another one of my guests, I've got this shirt that says on it
overratedio, Another one of my guests, I've got this shirt that says on it, Overrated EO, which is Overrated EO Head.
I forgot the last part.
That's like build a title on a shirt.
So there's that for people who think Radiohead is overrated.
And then also from the people at, the bag is also from HaHa, what was it called?
Houseofhaha.com.
And then Hempwick from, Humboldt Hempwick from, what's the name of the company that does this?
Oh, it's written too small.
But anyway, it's this cool wick that you can use to light your stuff in a more organic manner.
And by your stuff, I mean your camel cigarettes.
Light them in a more organic manner.
And please help me in welcoming to the stage my friends.
You guys ready?
Here we go.
Arch Barker, Rory Scoville, and Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray!
Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Jonah Ray! Let's put it over there. Arch Barker's just standing here talking to me off microphone.
Go put your crayon flap down on the stool near the end there.
I didn't know you were sitting there.
I've never seen this.
No, this is where I sit over here.
Hello, everybody.
Hang out with all this stuff.
Arch Barker's here.
Arch Barker is here.
What are you dressed up as tonight, Arch Barker's here. Arch Barker is here. What are you dressed up as tonight, Arch Barker?
It's called putting in a little effort right at the last minute.
I thought that's what I was dressed up as.
Like maybe when that one guy left Kiss, they had auditions.
And you were one of the people that came in.
And they were like, the star child, what are you supposed to be?
Yeah, because they all have such strong characters that yours didn't really fit in.
Am I auditioning for Kiss today, guys?
Because it seems to be a few different things.
Yeah, well, it's comfortable.
I'll tell you that.
I called you a cat when I first saw you
and you said I am not a cat defiantly
but there's some cat qualities
to what's going on on your face right now
I've never seen a cat wearing a hoodie
I have on the internet
that's Jonah Ray ladies and gentlemen
hey how my
Giants fans doing tonight?
We got all the points, huh?
You're such a sucker.
We got all the points necessary to win the big trophy game.
I can't.
Oh, the Bay Area big guys.
Nice work, suck up.
That's what I am for Halloween Well done
Shitty, shitty suck up
Yeah
Hey, I'm just like you guys
Sourdough
I mean, I know that people here love the
Yeah, I'm sure there's people here who love the Giants
But I think your focus is more
This crowd's focus is on other things
Oh, counting crows.
I'm grateful.
Oh, Jesus.
I'm grateful that you guys are here on Halloween
because it's a fun night for going to a party or whatever.
But they could go to a party after this show.
They sure can.
They can do anything they want.
I don't think they will because you can't get two days off work for a parade
And Rory Scovel is also here
In the
Up in cops
Cobbing it up
Cobbing it
Good to have you here
What are you dressed up as?
I was the nerdiest security guy today during the parade that's what
i'm going out you didn't say anything to anybody they probably no one even knew you were security
just like a dad who volunteered to work the parade he doesn't watch any baseball games he's also he
doesn't even care or know but he loves like he loves being a security guard but he's also afraid
of confrontation and he's afraid of confrontation yeah hey why don't you yeah security guard. But he's also afraid of confrontation.
And he's afraid of confrontation, yeah.
Hey, why don't you...
And he's not sanctioned.
He's not supposed to be there.
No one listens to him.
You really put a lot of thought into your costume.
I wanted a backstory.
I wanted a history.
Complicated character.
Yeah, he had a troubled childhood.
It's not, you know know He can still live his life
No name though
He doesn't have a name
Doug
Doug are you
Donahue or Andy Warhol
Donahue
Are you Donald Trump
Or
Yeah it's supposed to be Warhol
And
I think it's It's pretty fucking And I think it's somewhat accurate,
especially he really did have the dark sideburns
because he was also wearing a wig.
So I nailed that part of it.
And just also the general attitude.
Like, doesn't it look right now
that I'm thinking about cans of soup?
Yeah.
It looks like you're,
where's Basquiat right now?
Yeah, and I hope that lady doesn't shoot me.
This would be a bad time for that.
Linda, or whatever your name was.
Played Valerie.
Oh my God, she is here.
It's Valerie!
Valerie!
So this is Doug Loves Scary Movies.
We have to talk about scary movies.
Do you have a favorite scary movie,
Arch Barker?
I like a movie when I was growing up
we called Mother's Day.
Did you ever see that one?
It's like an old shitty horror movie.
It scared the crap out of us
when we were in like seventh grade.
Who says there's a movie
we called something?
Like me and my friends had a name.
We called it E.T.
We just would throw that around.
Let's go see E.T. and people would be like,
what are you talking about? Do you mean
E.T. the Extraterrestrial and his adventures
on Earth? Yeah, we call it E.T.
Confuses some people.
I really like
more in a more modern era,
I really like 28 Days Later
I really love that movie and the soundtrack
It's a good movie, not a zombie movie
You like a fast zombie
It's not a zombie
They're not dead
Oh, here we go
This'll debate
It's not though, they're infected people
They don't die and come back to life
That's what a zombie is
I didn't say it was a zombie movie
So what would you
Just want to make it clear Jonah just showing all his cards right there alive. That's what a zombie is. Well, I didn't say it was a zombie movie. So what would you...
I just want to make it clear.
Jonah just showing all his cards right there.
Not a zombie movie.
Not a zombie movie.
I liked Frankenweenie, and then I haven't seen
The Master yet. There, I'm done. Can I go?
Oh, we stopped knocking
Sibba.
Alright. I guess that was fun. Oh, we stopped knocking Sibba. All right.
I guess that was fun.
Just walking behind people at Blockbuster.
Fun argument.
I know you're going to get 28 Days Later.
You know the thing about that film?
It's just people put it on their zombie list and it upsets me.
It should be next to Outbreak. I love it.
It's true. That is true.
Dustin Hoffman was in Outbreak.
Also a zombie movie.
I thought Outbreak was a zombie movie.
Why did I do that joke twice?
No one laughed the first time and then I just said
it again. Keep going
with it, man. You're going to get it there.
Outbreak was a zombie movie. It gets more
simplified. Zombie Outbreak was a zombie movie. It gets more simplified. Zombie
Outbreak movie.
I've kind
of messed up with the idea of seeing this new movie
Flight, because I have to get
into a plane on occasion.
And I don't like that
it's like, yeah, it turns out the pilot was drunk
when he landed the plane upside down.
And they depict
it in a very realistic way.
I'll watch it only if it's an in-flight movie.
That's why I hated 9-11 so much
because I'm like, fuck, am I going to fly and shit?
Horrible.
Like, don't you think?
Me and my friends call that shit horrible.
Yeah.
I try not to watch clips of 9-11
before going on a flight.
This gives me the willies.
What's your favorite horror movie, Jonah?
My favorite horror movie
is the original Dawn of the Dead.
And the scariest horror movie to me is Candyman
Yeah
Doug, put some makeup on your face and be Donahue of the Dead
Why?
Why?
Thanks for the makeup on my face part
Could have just said it
I had to make it technically correct.
But that Dawn of the Dead is a great movie.
It's great.
Yeah.
It's my favorite zombie movie for sure.
Yeah.
I gave it away tonight.
It's in that bag right there.
On Blu-ray.
Is it?
Is that what it was?
I don't think so.
It looks small.
The case looks small.
Everything's Blu-ray to you, Jonah Ray.
That's why I stopped doing Google Alerts
Because all I ever got was
When there was Jonah Hill movies on Blu-ray coming out
That's all that came up
And Jonah Hex on Blu-ray
How does it fare when you look yourself up on Bing?
Fucking Kingbusters
You're a big man, man
Big man, man
Honk, honk, Rory Scovel What's a movie? You're a big man, man. Big man, man.
Honk, honk, Rory Scovel.
What's a movie... What's a horror movie you enjoy?
Event Horizon.
Remember?
Remember from earlier?
God damn.
I mean, I couldn't have been less surprised by that
than if he had said The Other Sister.
Like, it was just such a, to me, like, what?
That's a horror movie?
Event Horizon?
I loved your reaction.
It was just instantly, ugh, no.
We all knew the outcome of this or that immediately.
The bar was set pretty high with Jacob's Ladder.
Wasn't Macaulay Culkin in that?
I think he's the little kid in it, yeah.
I want to change mine.
Wait, it's your favorite horror movie and you don't know if he's in it?
It's been a while, but it left
an impression, though.
As a lot of Tim Robbins movies do.
What if he was like, I don't really even know what it's about.
It just sounded scary.
I guess those people are in it, I don't really...
It was one of Schumacher's best, I thought.
It's pretty fucked up.
Do you know what it's about,
or did you just think it's about a shaky ladder
that no one should climb because it might collapse?
Hey, Jacob, watch out for that third rung.
He never remembers, Jacob.
A villain came in and sewed the middle.
I think they say that in Help or something.
Ringo says,
all the rungs have been sewn in the middle.
So we still need a scary movie.
Event Horizon doesn't count.
We still need a scary movie from you.
My favorite of all time,
I know you already said American Psycho.
That's not my favorite of all time,
but I did just watch that recently.
And I...
Does that count?
Just the look you're giving me, I'm like, I should start over, right?
Who just said American Psycho?
I didn't bring it up, did I?
I think you said it.
I did?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Because we also were talking about it backstage a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
And I said save it for the stage, and then I stole it and said it myself.
Yeah, that's when in my head I was like, well, I could say another movie. There are
a lot, but...
Name one other.
Alright, 28 Weeks
Later. That's a zombie movie.
I got a good one. Those are some fast zombies.
The Walking Dead. A TV show.
I get it.
People got tense.
It's not a movie, pal.
There's one scary-ass movie I would like to change my answer.
Yeah, let's go back through everybody again.
Yeah, let's do it again.
I'd like to redo it.
I never really got anything.
Saying Candyman was scary to me made me sound racist.
I'll be ready this time.
The scariest shit that I've seen in a long time?
Wolf Creek.
That gave me the willy-jillies.
What was it?
Wolf Creek.
It's scary as heck.
Have people seen it?
How many people have seen it?
The scariest movies also sound like an indie rock band.
I have mine.
Oh, okay.
Here we go.
Jonah, you still have another chance.
Oh, thank God.
But it's from when I was in the fifth grade.
It.
Oh, TV movie.
Stephen King TV movie miniseries?
Yeah, yeah.
That's scary. You should watch it again. I was in fifth grade. Watch, TV movie. Stephen King TV movie miniseries? Yeah, yeah. That's scary.
I was in fifth grade.
Watch that shit again. I've never gone back.
It's quite silly. I won't.
No need to revisit. It's terrible. It's got, sure,
the image of the clown is scary,
but... Tim Curry. Yeah.
Once he starts talking, what the fuck
are you doing? He's got that Bronx
accent.
That added to it. Beep, beep, Richie.
Yeah, yeah.
He didn't need a crazy voice.
He looks like a scary fucking clown.
Yeah.
Just whisper, you stupid clown.
One of the voices was even worse.
It was a different accent.
It was like Marvin Marshall.
Be French.
I'm going to kill you now.
Oh, lovely.
The kids are screaming.
They're like, wait, what?
What did you say? They all float down here.
I declare this planet in the name of me.
What does that have to do with anything?
Just shut up, or I will murder you.
All right, well, let's, I guess, I've gone on record on Twitter today
saying that my favorite horror movies are the originals
in both cases
Halloween is my favorite
Slasher
obviously it's one of the first ones
and then Dawn of the Dead
the original is my favorite zombie movie
but I think I've said that like
three times now
I keep repeating myself
because we're having such a good time here
in San Francisco
I'd like to change
did any movie scar you as a child?
those are always good to
recommend to people
like the movie that fucked you up the most
Amityville Horror
I was a little young when I saw that one
a little too young?
you didn't understand the
fluctuating real estate market?
Some houses are harder to flip than others.
That's what Mitt Romney's kids were scared about when they watched that movie.
Oh, the resale value on this thing is plummeting.
The resale value on this thing is plummeting.
It's good to get one more of those in before the election.
Don't have to force it too hard.
Jono, were you freaked out by anything?
Yeah, the last shot in sleepaway camp.
You've said too much. Do you know what you're like
It's like the weird face
And then it turns out the girl was a guy the whole time
Sure
Do you know what I'm talking about
Yeah I think so
The cover was like a
Stop explaining it
I think I got it
Do you recommend people watch it
Yeah sure Let's be quiet about it now I think I got it Do you recommend people watch it? Yeah, sure
Let's be quiet about it now
Let them discover it on their own
They've had enough time
They really have
You should punish them
You should punish them for their laziness
I should
You have to be so lazy to not watch a movie
I can't lay around
and look at that.
Yeah.
I've got eyes to close.
It's going to get in the way of my dreams to have.
My dreams are way more interesting to me.
Rory, did you get fucked up by a child?
Did a child fuck you up in a movie?
Did a child movie?
I was raped by a child, yeah.
What's your scariest... Problem yeah. What's your scariest
children's movie?
Mine is Pippi Longstocking.
Willy Wonka and the...
That's some scary shit.
Wait, Willy Wonka and the what?
Willy Wonka, what did he do?
Which factory?
Chocolate and chocolate
is chocolate.
They blow it out pretty early, the boat ride.
Yeah, the freaky boat ride where you're just like, what?
That doesn't really happen in kids' movies now where parents take their kids to see it and they're like, what the fuck?
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going.
There's no knowing
where we're going
or which way the
river's flowing.
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is it a hurricane
of blowing?
Not a speck of light is
showing, so the danger must be growing. of glory. Doug, you're freaking me out, man. Not a speck of light is showing. Doug!
So the danger must be growing.
Doug, don't say funny, man.
Are the fires of hell Doug, don't say funny anymore, man.
of glory
is the grizzly reaper
going?
Yes!
Yes!
We're here, everybody.
Watch your step.
He's going to keep on going.
He's not going to stop.
That wasn't the right line.
We're here, everybody.
Watch your step.
That was the part you forgot.
We made it.
Here's some chocolate.
Yeah.
I think I've done that on the podcast before.
It might have been on the Benson Interruption,
but whenever I get a chance to bust that out,
it's so much fun.
It's so much fun when you bother to memorize something
that people love,
but no one else is bothering to memorize it.
Yeah.
Really set you apart.
I used to,
one time I was out on the road,
and I had to follow a guy.
His closing of his act was just singing three of the after school rock songs.
Conjunction, junction, once you.
He sang three of those songs.
Got applause after each one and a standing ovation when he said goodnight.
He changed nothing.
He just sang the fucking songs.
Mr. Robinson, Mr. Robinson, what a terrible
mess. I broke your window, whipped my
ball, and I've come to confess.
Nobody remembers that one?
I guess you have to be that
guy for it to work. What is that from?
I think that's a Mormon one. Church of
Latter Day Saints. Is it?
Yeah.
You created confirmation on that? Remember those ones
where the kids come in and they're like dad I got an AMI report card
how many times I told you not to slam the door
how come I'm the only
fucking person who saw those
classic shit man
I gotta memorize
some fucking Willy Wonka next time
they're on there.
They're on YouTube.
Faster than eagles.
Stronger than lions.
I think that's what he says when they're on that machine that shoots a bunch of jizz in everybody's face.
But at the end, spoiler alert, when Gene Wilder is saying,
we're going to go through the roof in this elevator and we might get shred to ribbons,
like we might get killed.
go through the roof in this elevator and we might get shred to ribbons like we might get killed and charlie and uh uncle what's his fuck are both like uncle joe his grandpa joe grandpa joe are
both like just losing their minds with fear you as a child i was i was i was going insane in that
moment you know there's that entire part of the fucking song but you're like uncle joe's i don't
fucking remember he might have been an uncle in the book i read the book. But you're like, Uncle Joe's... I don't fucking remember.
He might have been an uncle in the book. I read the book also. Oh, you're so smart.
I am. What I'll do is I'll read
the book first, then I'll see the movie, then I'll read
the book again, then I'll see the movie again.
Until I hate both. Yay!
Does anybody hunger
for games?
Yes!
Let's start with one of my favorites, ABC Deez Nuts.
Now, Arj is new to the show, so let's cut him a little slack
because he's got a busy schedule, can't listen to an episode.
Right?
I asked you to do this yesterday.
So I appreciate you.
Well, thanks.
I appreciate you jumping on board.
No, no.
I'm sure you're really glad I'm here.
You booked me like 12 hours before the show.
Yeah.
I was like, please, at the very least, come with a face that you've drawn all over.
And it doesn't matter if you know how to play the games
because people will just cherish a guy
with drawings all over his face.
You know what you look like? I finally figured it out.
Like you passed out at a party.
People went sharpie crazy on you
and then today you just drew over it a little bit
and went, hey, it's my costume.
I'm a cat. Kind costume. I'm a cat.
Kind of.
I'm a cat with a dick on its cheek.
For the listeners,
there's no dick on its cheek.
That is a natural cleft chin.
You look like
you were at
a talk show host party
and Sally Jessie Raphael passed out
and you stole her glasses.
Oh, Donahue,
you drunk motherfucker.
Listen, let's play this game.
I know you gotta get back to 8 Mile,
so let's...
I always try to bring it
back to movies
or hit singles.
He's got a hood up
and you didn't mention Ghost Protocol.
Oh, shit.
Because Ghost Protocol, he can't go that tight.
You can tell what his ears...
Ghost Protocol gotta go pretty tight.
Ghost Protocol gotta go pretty tight.
His hoodie's loose as shit.
Nah, man. Ghost Protocol's pretty fucking tight.
Dog.
Dog.
Alright, here's how this game works Arch
we're gonna spell
a word
tonight's word's gonna be Halloween
cause it is
I realize putting this show together
is it gonna be weird to listen to
two days from now or a day from now
once Halloween's passed
aren't you kinda over it
who's gonna be sitting around going
what are the best scary movies?
I'll write them down and check them out next year.
But what are you going to do?
It'd be weird to tape the Halloween special early.
That's true.
It's like the Simpsons Halloween of horror,
or the Treehouse of horror.
It's always in November.
It's pushed back to Thanksgiving this year, I think.
No, actually, they already had it early for the first time. Oh, shit. But not in November. Yeah. It's pushed back to Thanksgiving this year, I think. No, actually, they already had it earlier for the first time.
Oh, shit.
But not on Halloween.
Yeah.
That'd be too tough.
They've got to have an all-new X Factor.
That's what's on tonight.
Really?
A live X Factor.
Is everybody singing the Monster Mash?
I hope that we've somehow gotten into this tangent.
What's on it?
What do you mean, we?
You didn't have anything to do with it.
Actually, you know what?
I didn't participate.
You guys.
It's all on us.
What's on at 8.30, though?
Well, it's still X Factor.
It's like two hours long.
Two hour special.
Then there's some other shit.
Probably an all new Next to Normal.
A Spookalicious next to normal
we'll start with Rory
since he's played before and then we'll go to
Jonah and then we'll go to Arj and Arj
the idea is that each person when a
letter comes to you you have to within
a few seconds name a movie that begins
with that letter and in this
case I picked all
scary movies you can pick any
movie you want but if you go scary and you match what I picked ahead of time,
if we match answers, then you win automatically.
H is the first.
Did I just say part of the word?
What do you think I just said, Rory?
Can I say Halloween?
Okay, good. That's not it.
H.
Halloween? It's not it. H. Halloween?
It's not Halloween.
Oh, I'm trying to guess what you put.
Yeah.
Or I can name any horror movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Just name a horror movie that begins with H, though.
But can I say the movie Halloween?
You should say Halloween 10.
Halloween 2.
You're going to hate the thing I have in the barrel for third place.
I want to hear it.
Harry Crumb.
Why?
That's not the movie.
Nobody knows that's the movie you picked.
I'm just trying to have an H.
It's called Who's Harry Crumb?
Or Where's Harry Crumb?
Oh, it is.
I don't even remember.
How is Harry Crumb?
I'll stay with Halloween then.
I don't give a shit.
How's Harry doing?
But no.
Crummy?
Is he crummy?
Halloween.
Halloween.
All of those were correct, so you get
to stay in the game, but you didn't match me, so you didn't win
automatically. I picked Hannibal.
Hannibal. But I almost said it,
too, and you thought I said Halloween.
Jonah, A.
Scary movie. Letter A.
April Fool's Day.
Nice. I said alien.
Arch Barker. Scary movie.
Who gets the letter L?
Leprechauns. don't know if that's exactly what it was called
I think there was just the one, but I'll take it
I'll take it because I'm proud of you
Come back to Rory
Oh, my first L was Let's Scare Jessica to Death
That's the actual title of a movie.
Wait, what was his?
He said Leprechaun.
Ah, shit.
Yeah, because you get another L. Go.
Fuck.
Leprechaun 2.
Scary L.
There you go.
Leprechaun 2.
That does count.
Was that what it's called or did it have a subtitle?
Back to Leprechaun.
More than likely that's what they went with. Still Leprechaun. Back to where the Leprechaun. More than likely, that's what they went with.
Still Leprechaun.
Back to where the Leprechaun was last time.
It's a long title.
Leprechaun 2, Leprechaun again.
Leprechaun again.
Sorry, I'm not going to accept that.
You're out.
God damn it.
I picked Let the Right One In.
Ooh.
Oh.
Jonah?
Oh? Oh. No audience help. I was Oh. Jonah. Oh?
Oh.
No audience help.
I was ready for it.
Omen.
That's what I was going to say.
It's called The Omen You're Out.
Arch.
It's just me and you now?
Any scary movie begins with O.
You're the omen.
For the win.
You can win this if you can name any scary movie
That begins with O
With O?
Yeah
Oh shit
Wait let me rephrase
Let me rephrase
Let me rephrase
Any movie
Any movie that begins with O
But it has to be
You know
It was released in theaters
Out of the Blue
It had a clean enough name Who's in Out of the Blue. It had a clean enough name.
Who's in Out of the Blue?
Sean Witherspoon.
Okay, there's no winner of this game.
I'm calling this game.
My O was Open Water.
My W was When a Stranger Calls.
My E was Eaten Alive,
Toby Hooper.
My next E was Exorcist 2,
The Heretic.
There's no the at the beginning for some reason.
Of The Exorcist?
Exorcist 2, The Heretic.
Fuck you.
And my N was
one of the granddaddies,
Night of the Living Dead.
And that's ABCD's Nuts.
Let's play Build a Title.
Let's make things even harder on Mr. Barker.
Trying to figure this one out, Arch.
Okay, hang on.
Jonah's trying to...
It's getting too hot.
Relax a little bit.
You want to take off another layer?
Yeah, go ahead and take off another layer.
Because you seem to have...
There you go.
Go big big guys!
Hey, no two t-shirts at the parade.
No two t-shirts at the parade.
Yeah, stop it. Just go home.
It's one of the rules this year.
I support the team more because I wear several shirts
with their stuff on it.
When I was walking to the parade,
I bought a shirt at every corner.
To show my support for the team that already won.
You have to wear several layers
because the glass from the broken
minibus window can hit you
after you smash it.
Someone's been reading
the Bay Area Gazette.
I don't know how they put it out
with the storm and all, but they got it done.
There's a dude that works at the Punchline here in San Francisco, a great comedy club,
who was there when the bus was being set on fire that had people in it.
And he stepped up and fought some dudes to stop setting the bus on fire.
Did he get his ass kicked?
He's got some scrapes on his
face and his
friends had to drag him out of there, but he did a good
job. That happened in
Canada when that riot
happened after the big old
hockey match that didn't go in their favor.
And then there was these guys trying to tip
over a car. The big old hockey match.
This Tuesday at 9.
Two big teams, one big match.
The other like the white and grays didn't get enough points and then the blue and reds
did.
And then people got angry and started rioting in the town.
And then there was a guy going like, you please stop it.
This is our town.
And then a guy comes up and punches him in the face.
Vancouver?
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm good at this game.
Vancouver?
Yeah.
I knew it.
I knew I could name that city you just said a couple minutes ago.
I knew I could remember what he said earlier.
Vancouver, Event Horizon.
I'm so good at that.
This game's called Build a Title, Arch.
And here's how it works.
We take a movie title.
Yeah.
Yeah. And then each of you try. We take a movie title. Yeah. Yeah.
And then each of you try to add more titles to it.
Like if we started with The Godfather, we drop the the.
We don't mess with the's and a's.
But we started with Godfather.
Somebody else could say, Oh, God, because that was the movie, Father.
And then the next guy could say, Oh, God, Father of the Bride,
because Father the Bride is a movie.
And you keep adding like that. Oh, God, Father, Bride is a movie. You keep adding like that.
Oh God, Father of the Bride of Frankenstein.
Exactly.
You're so good at this already.
We'll start with Jonah though
and then we'll go to Rory.
You're not going to start it off?
You're not going to pass me the ball?
No, I want you to name the movie
that I'm thinking of right now
Oh okay
It's a little harder
Yeah
No I know
I know the movie
That was pretty awesome though
I was like
Alright Jonah
Go
Yeah
Yes
Just
Figure it out
It's
It's Halloween
Don't be stupid
It's Halloween
What movie would I pick on Halloween?
No, it would start with...
Evenflo.
Yes.
Evenflo the movie.
Here we go.
Evilful?
Eddie Vedder gets...
Evenflo the movie.
Do you want me to start?
I thought you said evilful.
It gets a spork in his nose.
Like someone who wrote a horror movie who's bad at grammar.
He's so evilful.
No, no. I was trying to get you to say
Evil Dead 2.
Evil Dead 2 is our starter title.
So you need something that ends with evil
or begins with 2.
Of which I know
for a fact there are both.
Yeah.
of which I know for a fact there are both.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Do you know all horror movies?
What? Does it have to be a lot of horror movies?
I know several, but not all, I don't think.
Good.
I'm going to factor that into my title.
Tucker and Dale versus Evil Dead 2.
It's called Doug Loves Movies, not Doug Knows Every Movie.
Tucker and Dale versus Evil is a good movie.
No, no, I know that.
Okay.
I mean, Leonard Maltin loves it.
It's in my Netflix Q.
But I like to see movies
in theaters, so that sucks when it passes me
by there, and I kind of wait for
a revival or something.
But now we move to Rory.
And I
need to do something with Tucker.
Something that ends in Tucker.
Okay. Sorry about that.
Easy.
Sorry.
Or Tuck.
And don't help, audience.
Or something that begins with two.
So say one of those right now.
Was two girls one cup?
Was that a horror?
Tucker in evil.
A feature film has to be 80
minutes in length
to play in
theaters for at
least one week.
That was a
short in Sundance.
They submitted.
Yeah.
We're so sorry.
We can't let you
in.
Sorry.
Try it at
Slamdance.
I can't believe
we're writing you
this letter.
For your
consideration,
two girls have
come for the Oscar
for best live action short.
They'd have to watch it, right?
If you submitted it.
But those two girls are presenting another award,
so they're like dressed up.
Art can come in many ways.
Two girls won cup, girls.
It was a good decoy I just threw
down there. Kind of buy some time. Yeah, there's nothing more distracting a good decoy I just threw down there kind of buy some time.
Yeah there's nothing more distracting
than a decoy.
Yes.
You're like is that really a thing?
Is that really a little
fake duck swimming along?
You got anything?
I have nothing.
All right, you're out.
I knew that was coming.
Yeah, and then we come around to art.
So you need a movie that ends in tuck or begins with two.
I thought two was pretty easy when I was thinking of it.
Because two
is not only a number.
Oh.
Okay. Tucker and
Bill's evil...
Evil dead to kill a mockingbird.
Yes!
Oh! Yes!
He kind of gave me that one
all day.
Yes.
Yes.
He kind of gave me that one all day.
Who's still in this thing?
I am.
You are?
Yeah.
I didn't throw you out earlier?
No.
That was the other game.
No, I think I threw you out.
No, you didn't, though, because I got one now.
Okay.
Tucker and Dale versus Evil Dead. Oh, yeah, you got that.
Kill a mockingbird on a wire.
There you go.
So Jonah's our winner.
You think Arch Barker could think of a movie
that begins with the word wire.
Yeah.
Not the show.
I think, yeah, have a little faith, all right?
Have a little faith in me.
All right, this is exciting.
What do you got?
Tucker and Bill's Evil...
Excellent Adventure.
Tucker and Bill's Evil Dead 2.
Kill a Mockingbird.
On a Wire.
That's where the clothes are, mate.
It's like the biggest Australian film this year.
I did have faith in you, and then you did that.
Because when you said have faith in me, I thought of one, and it would have worked,
is Bird on a Wired.
Wired was the John Belushi movie.
With the shield
Yeah with Michael Chiklis
Also the thing
Yes that's right
Alright so did Jonah just win?
Jonah just won
Nothing in particular
But he keeps throwing his clothes out into the crowd
The plaid stays
Who are loving it Because it's so hard to get Giants memorabilia in this town But he keeps throwing his clothes out into the crowd. The plaid stays. You go.
Who are loving it because it's so hard to get Giants memorabilia in this town right now.
Get some Walgreens.
It's all sold out, everybody.
It's all gone.
And it won't be half price tomorrow.
Don't count on that.
Get it now.
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
Now, let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
And let's have the audience reveal their dazzling array.
I saw these two on the Internet, on Twitter.
And don't yell for me.
It's not my decision.
Oh, Lord, they just took the house lights up.
Could somebody get a picture of this? This is fucking amazing. What am I supposed to do? I don't know. Arch, It's not my decision. Oh, Lord. They just took the house lights up. Could somebody get a picture of this?
This is fucking amazing. What am I supposed to do?
I don't know.
Arch, let me explain to Arch what he's supposed to do, you guys.
You have to pick the person whose costume and name tag speaks to you the most.
Like the person that you want to play for and they might win these prizes that are in this bag.
Oh, but they know I'm normal.
Is anybody dressed up?
Basically, I'm trying to pick who I'm going to let down.
Dude, you just did really good
in part of that game.
I made up that Australian movie.
So I'm not that proud.
You're just holding up your hat.
I can't come to...
Is that a Teletubby?
Who's calling my name? that a Teletubby? Who's calling my name?
Is it Teletubby?
Lady with popcorn and a McFly.
Who's got something that's a part of my interest?
I'll play for the young lady over there.
Is anybody dressed up as Edward D. Wood Jr.?
Bela Lugosi?
You're not dressed up, though, are you?
No.
Seacrest?
You have what?
Is that lady a pirate?
Are you a pirate?
Is there more than one Steve Zazu in the house?
That's a fun costume.
I've never played this one.
There's a Brian Redman.
Freddy Krueger!
That's hilarious.
That is so scary looking.
Are you Where's Waldo?
We got a Where's Waldo?
No, she's a pirate.
She's a pirate.
The live version of Where's Waldo?
Just give me a minute.
I'll let these guys...
You should have been Where's Waldo.
She might be Where's Waldo.
Let's just stand here for a half an hour.
The listeners love it when this goes on forever.
Oh, there's a good Hulkamania out there.
Holy crap.
I'm going to play for Brent.
Brent?
All right, Brent.
The giant.
Yeah, I guess you should come up here because you're attached to the thing, right?
I feel like the balcony is being underrepresented.
Well, good luck seeing up into the balcony you're right you guys are just shit out of luck
there's some candy right there
feel free to take
a bribe Arch do you like
Twinkies because
zombie Landy has some Twinkies
for you
zombie Andy well I just want Zombie Landy has some Twinkies for you. Zombie Andy.
Bruh.
Well, I just want to say that I don't like being in this position because I'd like to have you all up here.
Oh, you're such a sweet guy.
But I'll pick you right here because you've been very patient.
This is just for me?
Thank you.
Thank you.
I don't think I can one-hand it.
What the hell?
What is it? It's heavy, whatever it is. I'm sorry. I can one-hand it. What the hell? What is it?
It's heavy, whatever it is.
I'm sorry.
Thanks for your...
Oh, boy.
Who put the most work into...
It is very nice.
What?
All right, Arch finally got something.
Who are you picking, John?
I'm sorry, I couldn't pick.
What's your name?
Marie.
Marie, okay.
I'm playing for Marie.
That's crazy, right?
Two champs and a can of Pringles.
I don't remember what she's talking about.
How fucking dare you?
And also, the listeners have no idea what's happening right now.
God damn it, this is hard.
Let's try to get it together.
Oh, shit.
Robocop has a fucking Game Boy sign.
Robocop, get up here.
All right, Robocop, get up here. All right, RoboCop, get up here.
You should fucking put that up sooner.
What's wrong with you?
RoboCop, get up here.
Get up here, RoboCop.
RoboCop, you got a lot of split.
Can you even walk up the stairs, RoboCop?
Oh, no.
Somebody help RoboCop get up the stairs.
You good?
Are you okay?
We need a good Samaritan, like the guy that stopped the bus from being set on fire.
Hey, guy with the hat,
this is what you should fucking do.
What's his name?
Becca. It's a female.
It's a robert cop.
You're a lady?
All right.
Good job, lady.
Good job, robo-Becca.
And what do you got, Arch?
Who are you playing for?
You got a shit ton of candy there.
That's amazing. I like Swedish Fish.
Can I have your Swedish Fish? Maybe a Hello Kitty thing
with treats. If anyone wants
some, I'm happy to share.
Give some to Chaplin, because he won't
ask for them.
He likes to keep it silent, except for
when he's banging children.
Did he do that? I think he got accused
of that.
He did now.
This one's harsh.
This one's harsh Robocop.
Alright.
What's harsh about it Jonah?
If I win you'll see?
Oh shithead yes.
At the end of the show Ar Arj, if you lose,
their consolation prize will be they get to name somebody
that I'll call a Shithead at the end of the show,
no matter who they say.
And sometimes people write their Shithead on the back of the name tag
to make it easier, but she did not.
So if you lose, we'll work it out.
We'll get her up here, and she'll name a Shithead.
Who are you playing for, Rory?
Brent.
I'm playing for Brent.
And show your microphone with Brent so we can hear his answers.
But what is that supposed to be?
It says Brent.
It's a name tag.
That name tag's seen better days, Brent.
It's like coffin size.
It looks like you're just walking around with your head sticking out of a coffin.
Somebody thought it was a loaf of bread earlier tonight.
A loaf of Brent?
I thought it was close enough.
A loaf of Brent.
I like that.
Is he the sick version of Elliot from E.T.?
I've also wondered that the entire night.
Get him some Reese's Pieces.
First of all, do not say that about Jonah.
I don't think.
Wait a minute.
I appreciate it.
All right, so your name tag is a giant name tag that covers your whole body,
and that's why you're going to stand up here the whole time.
Oh, shit. Wait a minute.
What's the matter, Jonah?
They put a button for start, and the other button says play.
Wow, I wish I didn't.
I bet you're not even a real robot cop either.
I bet you're a fucking fraud.
God, I wish I didn't select you.
No, it's a really great piece of art.
It's just a little bit upsetting. You get the key back? No, I gotta a really great piece of art. It's just a little bit upsetting.
Do you get the key back?
No, I got to give it back.
It is weird that you went to that much effort,
but just got that part.
Yeah, play.
Isn't start play?
Art just looking at me like,
don't you host this show?
Isn't this where you jump in and say some shit?
He's just over there eating Swedish fish.
I love Swedish fish.
And this lady named Tuna...
What's in the box?
What's in the fucking box?
Oh, gee. Oh, boy.
I hope it's not
Pepper Potts' head.
I thought you were going to say a giant boxing glove that just comes out.
Yeah, didn't that happen to Kim Basinger in Batman?
What the?
Oh, I can't show that to the audience.
That's an amazing, yeah, right?
That's some good stuff there.
Yeah, it's from the Bayleaf Collective.
I should have just read that and left well enough alone. Can I see it? Yeah, you can see in there. Yeah. It's from the Bayleaf Collective. I should have just read that.
And left well enough alone.
Can I see it? Yeah, you can see it in there.
We'll treat it like we're
in Pulp Fiction.
Oh, hell no.
Oh, it's a baby!
Coming out of that box.
Good for you, Tuna.
Oh my god.
Charge, please. Don't do that to the baby.
All right, so we got who you're playing for.
Now we got to get Arch through this game somehow.
But thank you once again, Bayleaf Collective.
It's down in San Jose.
And their slogan is Bayleaf Baby Collective. It's down in San Jose. And their slogan is
Bayleaf Baby
Collective.
Their slogan is
all our stuff comes in a cake box.
That'll throw them off the trail.
Yeah.
If you want something sweet,
you're selling pot, aren't you?
No!
Oh, this officer?
No, it's obviously a cake.
Look at the box.
Thanks.
No, you have a good one, too.
So confident in the lie that they show, they always open the box.
Don't worry about this cake.
It just has a file in it.
Good day, officer.
Going to the prison to visit my boyfriend.
Brent, can you lay sideways
so that just says Brent like a crust?
But then can you still drink your beer?
Yeah, just right.
All right.
Wow, that is...
Yeah.
That is magazine cover material.
That is...
That is a sexy pose.
That is one hot block of Brent.
It's a shame that you had to ruin
your one sheet, though.
Your one bed sheet.
This one was stained?
Yeah, his girlfriend's probably been
begging him to get rid of it.
I'll turn it into a costume.
You could have also gone single. You could have also gone...
You could have also just gone without that
and just been Ron Weasley.
I like Ron Weasley.
He looks like Brent.
But he's not confined to a box.
Why didn't you make it so the head was coming out the top?
I feel like you're kind of torturing yourself here.
Your arms are up here.
You're like, hey, guys.
I'm in a lot of pain.
Rory, he's just hiding a scoliosis.
Ask him more
questions when we can't hear his
answers.
Play the game.
Oh, shit.
Bridger said play the game like he's Jeff Garland or something.
Hey, hey.
You don't tell Donahue how to run his show.
He's like one of the most respected talk show hosts of all time.
So we'll see after the break.
Are they going to play the game?
Are they not going to play the game?
It could go either way in this society where people have a hard time agreeing
and reaching over across the aisle for bipartisanship.
Maybe they won't make an agreement,
but I'm going to try my best to see if I can help them out
right after this.
Coming up after the break,
is he or is he not the father?
I wish to God we had Donahue music right then.
That would have been amazing.
We could fucking put it in post, Corey. Post, guys. Is he not the father? I wish to God we had Donahue music right then. That would have been amazing.
We could fucking put it in post, Corey.
Post, guys.
Post prod, let's do it.
Then we get high, forget about it.
That's how it works.
I remember sometimes to put a fart noise in or something.
People enjoy it.
It's always going good when you can hear someone shaking a drink at the bar.
You know that everyone is focused. It sounds really lethargic, too.
There's a focus.
Yeah.
It's a 15-minute cocktail.
Yeah.
How many people are ordering martinis here?
I'm going to say two.
It's more of an arm workout for the guy behind the bar.
Someone just asked for a Coke.
I'll shake that
up for her.
Get it nice and fizzy.
Alright,
Arch, here's how this works.
Leonard Maltin is a film critic
and he...
Hello, I've seen Star Trek. I'm not an idiot.
Okay.
He has
an app called Leonard Maltin app And he has He has An app
Called
Leonard Maldon app
And he has movie reviews on there
So I use it
And I'll give you clues from his movie review
And how many stars he gave it
And then you have to determine with these guys
You'll bid back and forth
And how many names from the cast that he lists
Reading from the bottom of the list Of how many names you the cast that he lists reading from the bottom of the list of how many
names you think it'll take you to guess the
name of the movie. So if you said I can do it three names
you'll get the three lowest billed names.
So that's a pretty bold bid.
But sometimes you know what it is
just from the clues and stuff.
And since Jonah won
you won the last thing right Jonah? Yes
I did. Okay. So we'll start with
Jonah and to give Arch time to figure out Okay. So we'll start with Jonah.
And to give Arch time to figure out how this works, we'll go to Rory.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
And Jonah, you get to pick a category.
All right.
Would you like... And these are all...
I attempted...
I may make mistakes, as I often do.
But I attempted to make all of the answers scary movies.
Okay.
All right.
No matter what the category is.
But most of the categories sound like scary movies.
Buy a fucking tripod.
That's found footage movies.
One of my listeners,
one of the listeners,
I don't like the expression, my listeners,
is upset and wants a tripod in the mix.
Or pitch perfect.
That's movies where some character is killed with a pitchfork.
Or, at Taco Bellagio on Twitter suggested pole position,
and that's movies where someone is impaled.
So these are all scary movies that feature a lack of a tripod,
a pitchfork, or an impalement.
Okay.
Which one of those do you like, Jonah?
I'm going to do the impaled by a pole.
I'm going to do pole position.
Okay.
Thanks.
Clearly not the popular topic.
So RRG Star... I don't think any of them were popular.
Why don't the four people were like, yeah, polls.
Poll position.
Yeah.
Yeah, I played that.
Fuck yeah.
That's what I was hoping he'd say.
Fan of the game, fan of the topic.
So, Arj, that's a clue so far is that this movie is going to have someone gets impaled
at some point in this movie.
So you can kind of narrow it down in your head to movies that you can remember where
somebody got impaled. But just in this movie. So you can kind of narrow it down in your head to movies that you can remember where somebody got impaled.
But just, you know, think about it.
And Jonah, how many names,
after I give you these clues,
1976 is the year this movie,
somebody got impaled.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
He calls it effective but sensationalistic.
And then he also says that this movie has a discrete use of gore.
Discrete use of gore.
I would not have agreed with that when I was a child and saw this movie.
Seven names, I think.
Yeah, seven names are listed.
How many names do you think you can name this movie
And Jonah Ray
I'm going to say
Six
Confident
I like it
Now we go to Rory
He can go lower or he can say to Jonah name it
And if he says Jonah name it
And Jonah can't he gets a point
If Jonah can't he gets a point. Jonah can't, he gets a point.
And you're next, Arch.
Good.
Look at Brent so panicked.
You've been warned.
Win.
My neck's broken.
Don't worry, Maria.
This shit is unbearable.
No, come on.
What, are you kidding me?
Don't fucking do that to me.
Name it.
Are you really kidding me?
How have I performed on all the games?
Oh, because you're...
Brent, stop talking.
You're a sign, not a person.
Yeah, just be a block.
Just be a block that says Brent on the side of it,
waiting for a child to play with it.
But it's like he's not even real.
He's my invisible friend who's like,
you can win.
I'll help you.
Like, get out of here, name tag.
Everyone thinks I'm crazy because I keep talking to you.
Okay, so you said to Jonah, there's only seven names.
He said six.
And you say name it.
Yeah. All it. Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have to.
Okay.
I'll go 50-50 on this one and the chances of each of you at this point in the game.
Do you want the clues again, Jonah?
Yes, please.
1976, two and a half from Leonard.
Effective but sensationalistic and discrete use of
gore. And the
six out of seven names he lists are
Leo McCurn,
Patrick Trafton,
Harvey
Stevens, David
Warner, Billy Whitelaw,
and Lee Remick.
That
last name would be what we call a giveaway name
or at least a lot more helpful.
But this has an impalement in it
if that helps you.
From 1976.
Do you have any idea?
Well, I'm going to have one Swedish fish.
Cherish that fish, please.
No, I'm just going to gulp it right down.
Please don't. You won't enjoy that. Doug, you won't enjoy the Swedish fish just going to gulp it right down
Please don't you won't enjoy that
Doug you won't enjoy the Swedish fish if you just gulp it down
Chew it up let it sit on your tongue
I learned from my fraternity days that fish would rather
Just be swallowed because it gives them a few extra
Hours of life
It's made out of sugar and gelatin
Yeah
Rory would like one
It's a good stall tactic
I've requested a Swedish fish Yeah. Rory would like one. It's a good stall tactic. I'd like it noted for the podcast.
I've requested a Swedish fish.
No, Brent.
Noted.
Not yet, Brent.
Anything, Jonah?
Any guests?
Can you think of any movie where someone was impaled?
I think you picked the category.
Yeah.
For the... What are you doing?
I'm trying to hear someone go,
and then if I was near it, I'd continue on.
Nobody help him with your, oops.
All right.
Whoop, that comes down.
Yeah.
The 1976 version.
Say, uh...
Just say you don't know it.
I spit on your grave?
No.
Nope.
No.
The last name is Gregory Peck
and the motion picture is
The Omen.
The Omen.
I recently, earlier in this podcast
said that movie.
And was shunned.
And that was a bit of an omen.
But it's...
For what was going to happen.
But the violence wasn't that discreet.
Leonard goes on to describe the now famous decapitation. for those who like that kind of thing.
So God bless him.
But, yeah, there's a really gnarly David Warner gets his head decapitated by a big plane of glass, plate of glass,
that's sliding out of the back of a truck that stops abruptly and just, and his head goes.
That's an odd sound effect to put in a horror movie. Like a rock song. out of the back of a truck that stops abruptly and just, and his head goes, dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee.
That's an odd sound effect to put in a horror movie.
Like a rock song?
They just throw it in.
Most of the movie's like,
da-mos, da-be-dos, dee-dee-da.
At one moment,
at one moment,
his head starts to slide off
and he goes,
dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee.
It sounds like the beginning
of a song.
Yeah.
Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee.
And then it lands
in a garbage can.
And that movie song
just gets sent out of nowhere.
And then it lands in a garbage can. And then it lands in a garbage can, and it goes straight into Sweet Georgia Brown.
Okay, so.
Sorry, Robette Cup.
Rory's on the board with one point, Brent.
Rory is making it happen for you, Brent.
That's my first point ever in the Leonard Maltin game.
You've never won a point before.
I've never gotten one point.
Well, congratulations.
You finally did it.
So happy for you.
Brent, we're going to sweep this thing.
You guys remember the series?
Remember?
You guys remember the baseball?
Yeah, that's what he needs.
Another beer.
Somebody in a captain's...
Captain Stubing just brought him another...
Why wouldn't that be Isaac?
That guy's not even here to see the show.
He doesn't work here.
Walked in, just like, I got to get that name tag beer.
He was at home.
He was just like, I think Brent needs a beer.
Poor guy's in a box with his name on it.
You can lay on your back.
Would that be better?
But if you think about it.
I just kind of want to see what it'll look like.
I could see that it says Brent.
That's all that matters.
Can I say this?
He's already kind of prepared
if he drinks too much
and his friends leave him in the city.
Yeah.
He's already wearing a box.
Oh, that's it.
This is the life, huh, buddy?
Is that comfortable?
Okay.
All right. Shush, sh Okay. All right.
Shush, shush.
Quiet time.
Lullaby.
Spread that knee.
It's going to be a show.
Go to bed, my dear name tag.
Fall asleep.
Shut your mouth.
Or I'll kick you in the
E. Is that funny if that's like
his boner? That's where the E is right there.
You just put a boner on him. That is awesome.
I was sitting here thinking
the only thing missing from this podcast is a boner
on that. And now he's trying to blow it.
You gotta
give it a try. Everybody does.
Few succeed.
If you succeed, they let you right into Scientology.
You know what that means.
It's just a non sequitur.
That's where the fart noise will go.
Yeah, I'll put that in there.
Scientology.
All right, you guys.
We got to move this along. Arch Barker
is up now. Yay! Yeah.
And you get to pick a category.
Shit. Get a tripod.
What?
And that's it. No, no.
You get new ones. Okay.
To choose from.
But then we'll go to...
From you, we'll go to Rory and then to Jonah.
All right.
Arj, would you like to play?
Jeff DeCaro on Twitter
suggested Shaq Attack
and that's movies
where someone is killed
in a cabin.
With a what?
Someone's killed in a cabin.
Killed in a cabin.
In a cabin.
Shaq Attack.
Okay.
And then...
You mean like a stabbing cabin?
I call it tuna town, but yes.
Why does it say tuna on this box?
Sorry.
It's a warning label.
Another decoy.
At EvilErnie4 suggested Hack to the Future,
and that's horror films that were remade,
the remake of an established horror film.
Or celebrating a birthday today on Halloween
is filmmaker Peter Jackson.
You spend a lot of time
down under.
You're probably familiar with him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I am, yeah.
Actually, I'm not trying to brag,
but I'm pretty excited. I got a private tour
of the Hobbit set when I was in New Zealand.
It's amazing.
It's going to be fun.
You look out there there it's Frodo
Oh shit
Doesn't fit in this episode but it was pretty cool
Which category do you want to play?
Is Peter Jackson the category?
One of three yes
Remember the others?
Hack to the Future and Shack Attack
I'll go Peter Jackson.
Okay.
This is a, of course, I try to get all the answers are scary movies.
And this is from 1992.
Leonard Maltin gives this movie three stars.
says about it that it is strictly
strictly for
those with the tolerance for extreme
violence
and he also says about it
and gore
I just finished that
sentence essentially
it's strictly
for those with the tolerance for extreme violence
and gore and it also had an
original title that is different from the title that we know it as now and leonard names five
actors i don't need any of the actors you can go zero names well if i can remember the name of it
yeah yeah because i know the movie.
How much time do you think you'll need to think of it?
Maybe like two Swedish Fish.
All right.
Give me three days.
Three days, I'll have it.
You don't have to think of it right now.
You could bid zero names and then maybe one of these guys...
Okay, I bid zero names.
Okay, he says zero names.
Now we go to Rory.
And I have to say less than zero?
That's not the name of the movie.
Is it less than zero?
Can I take a stab at it?
No, you have to.
Some people appreciated that joke.
Other people were like fuck you
Stab at it I paid to see this
Or just like I can't think of it I better go for a walk
I better strike the thinker pose
Yeah
Is any of that supposed to reflect ninja
I feel like you have a ninja thing going
There's a kind of a ninja body.
Because I could disappear.
Check it out.
I can't do.
That was the last time we ever saw Doug.
Donahue.
I'll never forget that Halloween.
That's when Donahue retired.
Did they see Doug Benson again?
Did he disappear forever?
It's a question that will haunt everyone for the ages
because the only people that knew
were the people that died in that club that night.
We'll be right back.
You're starting to sound like Criswell.
Well, the people.
My impression of Phil Donahue is just because you guys are insisting that I do it.
That's my first attempt ever at it, and it's mostly my impression of Todd Glass' impression.
Yeah, exactly.
He deserves all the credit because he used to love doing that, the fucking long-ass speech.
And then we'll be back.
And then the head down.
The whole thing is amazing.
I'm out of Swedish fish, Arj.
All right.
I'm...
Arj!
Arj!
Some guy in the audience just fucking gave birth while he said your name.
I know the movie.
It's one of his earliest movies.
It's a classic where...
Don't you dare help him. It's a classic where it's just a gorgeous movie.
It's got that baby that goes around it.
Is it on me?
No, no.
Am I guessing it?
Because Jonas said name it, right?
I mean, Rory said name it.
Rory was asking.
I never said anything.
I was distracting everyone.
He said less than zero.
Then he said take a stab at it.
And then he bumped to the audience.
Really good.
I'm the one who said that stuff. and I was like, what did I say?
I don't even remember.
Am I supposed to guess?
Hang on a second.
Not yet.
Rory gets to bid still, but I think he's just going to say name it.
Arch, do you really know it?
Can you go negative one?
Can you name the top billed actor also, Rory?
And it's a Peter Jackson movie.
Yeah.
What were the details again?
You're on your feet too.
This is crazy.
Brent, get off the cord.
We're a team.
Jesus Christ, Brent.
You know I have to walk.
He's trying to feed it to you.
He's feeding you the cord.
Come on, Brent.
Come on, Brent.
That's cruel.
That's a good visual joke for the podcast.
I don't want to see that.
I feel like this is the weird...
We've turned it into poker somehow.
They don't walk away during a hand.
It's all in.
It's all in.
I don't think.
Did I get the details again?
Really?
Really?
Guys, I'm not good at any of the games.
How does no one know that yet?
Everyone knows it.
Just pass it along.
Pass it back.
But if you say name it to the guy who's having trouble thinking of what it is.
Now you're getting in my head.
And he runs out of time.
He's giving you the fucking thing.
And he runs out of time.
Then you win the whole thing.
Name it.
Name it.
I think the movie's... I think it's called Dead Alive.
That's correct!
He knew it the whole time!
It was a hustle!
It was a hustle!
It was a hustle!
Didn't Donahue run around too?
Donahue, it's a cat ninja!
Donahue's
chasing a cat ninja.
We got a question in the back. Hang on a second.
We got a question in the back.
We got a question back here.
Sir, what's on your mind?
Why do you keep waving at me? It's driving me crazy.
Tell us something important. It better be good.
You just look so good in that wig.
Oh, Jesus. All this way out here
for that. He said I look good in the wig.
This isn't a wig, sir.
Kiss him! I'm a serious
talk show host. This lady's going crazy
over here. What do you have to say, lady?
Orange, what was it like
being on Flight of the Conchords?
Oh.
It was awesome.
Oh my God, somebody in the balcony is yelling at me.
Get away from there, Doug.
It's crazy.
It's Juliet. Answer her.
I saw you last night, yes.
Yes, last night we saw each other.
You didn't say anything interesting then or now.
Oh, shit. You doubled't say anything interesting then or now. Oh, shoot!
You doubled down on getting in my face with nothing.
Hey, Doug, I've got nothing.
If Donahue came back to TV, this is the type of show he'd have to do.
Like slamming the audience.
It's all crowd work.
Yeah, I don't care what's in that box, lady
You look at me like that again
I'm having you thrown out of the studio audience
That's right, folks
We'll be back and talk about Benghazi
Donahue's back, and he's a dick
Oh my god, there's a whole box of donuts right here, you guys
Bring it back, Don
Give me, okay
Thank you
From Dynamo Donuts?
Alright
Okay, where are they from?
Cecilia Diamondo.
Diamondo.
Dynamic Donuts.
You have your own donuts now, too?
Dolomite Donuts.
These are from Dolomite Donuts.
Donahue Donuts.
Yes.
Go ahead, dude.
Take the whole box.
I don't want any part of it.
I suppose one isn't so bad.
Just grab the box, though. I showed it. Take the box from me. Okay. Take the whole box. I don't want any part of it. I suppose one isn't so bad. Just grab the box, though.
I showed it.
I showed it.
Take the box from me.
Okay.
Hold on to it.
Oh, wow.
Don't give any to Brent.
Good work.
Don't give any to Brent.
I keep him.
No, it is.
I just feed him twice a day in between sessions with the lotion.
Yeah.
Let me get a picture of you grabbing a donut from his dick box
In between lotion sessions
We have a donut
Sometimes it's a cruller
Am I in your seat? I'm sorry
No that's my seat
Sorry I lost us that point Brent
Brent has really taken up the space.
I'm slowly getting off the show.
Brent's moving in.
Arch Barker has a point, ladies and gentlemen.
Come on, Jonah.
What?
Come on, Jonah.
I won the other game.
You got your donut in you.
You got some energy. You said that like such a bullied kid
I won the other game
I've already proven myself to be a champion
What's Brent doing
He's just scooting back
It's creeping me out
He's like a dog
He's like a dog on the carpet
He's just scratching his ass He's like a dog on the carpet. He's just scratching his ass.
He's got a
lap full of donuts.
He was murdered at his 10-year reunion
because no one remembered who he was.
This is your horror costume?
You'll never forget me now.
I'm Brent.
Brent.
That wasn't bad given what I was
having to work with, guys.
What's that?
I think WC Fields is right You know like in podcasting you should never work with babies or Brents
I think when you bring them up on stage
Shit gets a little too
Too out of control
No you're doing good dude
I was just joking around
But I said the same thing to that god damn baby
You're doing alright right, baby.
Don't worry about it.
Don't let this change your life.
Is that one bad?
Does this one have cheese on it?
You brought us a goddamn cheese donut?
Where do you think we are, Stockton?
I don't even know what that means.
You didn't do that, Doug.
You didn't name that town near here. I don't even know why that means. You didn't do that, Doug. You didn't name that town near here.
I don't even know why Stockton would have cheese donuts.
Yeah, they would, wouldn't they, though?
Or they're known for loving them.
What are we, Stockton, where they love cheese donuts?
What a freak town.
What is this, Gilroy?
Yeah, those garlic donuts.
Garlic. Yes, we all donuts. Garlic.
Yes, we all know Gilroy.
All right, so Jonah, you were out of that last skirmish, right?
Yeah, I was saving my energy for this next round.
Rory said, so you get to go first, and then it goes to Rory.
RJ's delivering the candy back because he's got to.
Don't fuck me again.
Oh, he's giving out candy to everybody.
That's nice.
Brent, we're doing fine.
You want to try another one?
You're going to eat
another donut?
No, I didn't...
Put them up here.
It's creeping me out
that Brent's holding them.
No one cares what you like.
It's weird to have
a bunch of donuts
on his dick
and they're not, like, stacked.
Oh, no!
Like donuts on a dick.
Sorry, guys.
Sorry, my friend
who's a name tag
Had to come tonight
Yeah
Sorry guys
Just try to be cool okay
Anyways
That's a lot of donuts
Hey
Who invited the dork
My friend's a name tag
It's
I don't know
He's so embarrassing
He was born that way
Everybody knows his name
Everywhere he goes
You know
I don't like name tags
It's just the way I grew up
I'm sorry
I just don't like them
It's just It's just what I believe I'm trying to fix it like name tags. It's just the way I grew up. I'm sorry. I just don't like them.
It's just what I believe.
I'm trying to fix it so name tags can't vote.
What?
All right. Round three.
There's a lot of voter fraud.
All right. Here we go. Oh, I apologize, Doug.
For what?
Because I didn't realize, and I feel like a dick calling you Donahoe.
You were...
That's an excellent costume, and you look a lot like Newt Gingrich.
Hip Newt Gingrich.
I was at the San Francisco Zoo just this afternoon petting a wallaby.
Do they even have that there?
San Francisco Zoo
That's how you know
Newt lies about the zoo
That's my deep Gingrich info
Is I know that he loves zoos
Yeah
He also loves doing that political thing
We don't like, am I right?
He's always like
Yap, yap, yap
Economy, yap, yap, economy Yap, yap, yap, war
These have to be joke donuts
Are these real?
Is that shit?
You shitting a donut?
Oh no, come on
The first one I had was a donut
Is there a
Are they I should ask, do they have marijuana in them? Oh shit, guys Come on, the first one I had was a donut. Is there a...
Are they...
I should ask, do they have marijuana in them?
Oh, shit, guys.
Dude, I'm fucking getting drug tested at Costco tomorrow.
That can't be.
Hang on, I'll be right there.
I'll be right there.
I'll be right there.
Jonahue gets to the bottom of it.
Hang on, hang on.
I'll be right there.
Research journalist.
One foot in front of the other guy.
Hey, girl from TGI Fridays, where's your flair?
Alright, here we go.
Cecilia?
Yes. Tell us what's in the donuts.
Organic and sustainable ingredients.
Oh, organic, that makes sense.
But the cookies that are in there are pumpkin weed cookies.
We've got some pumpkin weed cookies.
Oh.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Don't you dare.
Don't you.
Gimme.
Gimme.
Gimme.
I would have never guessed because they weren't in a traditional cake box.
You ate them already.
So.
No.
Here.
Here.
How strong?
How strong?
Like half?
Let me get out there What a great episode to listen to
There was so much running
Running is fun to listen to
But seriously, yell out
How much of it should I eat?
Like is it
Dude, did all of you make it that's good yeah
i meant like what's the you know dosage that shush everybody eat the cookie i'm not gonna
eat the whole thing anyway because it'll take forever oh yeah you wouldn't whip it's a giant
cookie all the people yelling all of it would never eat all of it. Is that true? I've yelled all of it, and I'd be like, no, I'd never eat all of it.
The people that are yelling, I would die.
It's really good.
It's really good.
Usually you can tell.
And I know food because I have a podcast about food that's lasted for eight episodes.
It's good.
The last one is good.
You can usually tell how strong it is by the taste.
Like if it's really strong, you taste really strong of weed.
But if it doesn't, then it's not going to taste that strong.
That's a good gauge.
That adds up.
All that adds up.
Does it taste hella strong?
Sometimes it's somebody that's a really good cook that hides the taste of the weed.
And so it's really strong, but it tastes good also.
So sometimes if it tastes strong, it is strong.
But other times if it doesn't taste strong, it could still be strong, but it might not be strong.
We'll be back after this
Alright, Jonah gets the bigger category
Alright
No, you didn't get the wheat cookie, shut up
Would you like, and you can have as much wheat cookie as you guys want right there
Would you like
Oh, Brent wants some?
Brent, you don't think you're high enough?
Yeah, you've already made
some interesting decisions.
I had to make this.
I think one of these donuts
has a basil leaf in it.
Sitting in there like that,
you look like a little person
that I hired to ridicule. It's making me a little in it. Sitting in there like that, you look like a little person that I hired to ridicule.
It's
making me a little sad inside.
We're almost done though, Brent.
Alright, Jonah. Jonah,
give me.
The asparagus pea category
suggested by
at asparagus pea.
No E, no E, just pea.
And that is, and it's the scary addition, just P. And that is,
and it's the scary edition of this category.
And that's where I just
read the entire review of the movie
flat out, without the
actors' names, and then tell you how many
names, and then the bidding begins.
So if you pick it,
everyone's probably
going to know the answer.
And then you have to, it's a game of figuring out who the top billed actors are
A game
Yeah this is a game
Sometimes this game
Turns into a game
So it's a game of games
That's what Game of Thrones
Was originally called
And they're like somebody's got to sit down eventually
Game of games Did you just fist pump was originally called and they were like somebody's gotta sit down eventually.
Game of games.
Did you just fist pump?
If somebody's no.
I almost Chappelle
his thing that he does
when he's laughing
at something he said
is he hits himself
with the microphone
all over his leg
and he goes
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Well I can't get away with that.
The King of Pancakes category.
These are fun categories, but scary movies are the answers.
And the King of Pancakes category is the movie that was number one at the box office 10 years ago to this very day.
10 Halloweens ago, this movie was number one at the box office 10 years ago to this very day. 10 Halloweens ago this movie was number one.
Yeah. And your third option
is a movie
that was mentioned in tonight's
Build-A-Title.
You see me over here fiddling around
with the phone and that's because I'm
adding an answer
that is a movie we already mentioned
in tonight's Build-A-Title.
Is it the one you came up with
or one of the ones we came up with?
If I told you that, that would narrow it down.
I thought I had you.
You're the exact answer.
I thought I had you.
Fuck it.
Let's do the asparagus pea.
Oh, asparagus pea, everybody.
It's a fun one.
I like it.
I like what you're doing.
It's fun for everybody. It's a fun one. I like it. I like what you're doing. It's fun for everybody.
You can hear stuff.
Who was the challenger the last time?
Rory challenged Zaj?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
So it's going to go towards Rory.
And Jonah?
This game.
Would you like the entire review from a scary movie from 1975 or 1978?
1978.
You got something to share with the rest of us, Rory?
Foolish.
Foolish choice.
Sorry, I don't remember it.
I'm not as old as you.
That's the pretentious horror movie guy.
78, really.
Whatever it is, it's not going to be good.
He didn't go back to the hood until the fourth one.
78.
Three stars.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie.
You mean three scars?
All right, I'm going to read the whole thing right now. Everybody get ready to freak out because I'm going to read the whole thing right now
Everybody get ready to freak out
Because I'm going to read the whole thing
And then there's going to be
Six names
Six names
So
You will start the bidding, Joan, after I say
From 1978
This movie from the USA
Is 91 minutes long
It's a low-budget chiller
About psychotic murderer
who's struck on Halloween as a child
and threatens to do so again 15 years later.
Well made with lots of scares,
plus in-joke references for film buffs.
Alternate 104-minute television version
prepared for network TV is available on video,
followed by several sequels and myriad clones.
Curtis's feature film debut.
I shouldn't have said that.
Negative one.
But it's still interesting.
All right, so Jonas says negative one.
So, Rory, Jonas is going to have to name that movie that I think we pretty much all know what it's called.
No, no, no.
I'm real smart.
And he's going to have to name the top billed person in that movie.
So if you go negative two, you'll have to get the top two in the right order.
So if I say name it, he has to name the top billed person.
And the name of the movie.
I think I know that, though.
Can I do it?
No, I already said I would.
Only if you can go too deep.
You have to bid negative two.
So I have to know the second person?
Mm-hmm.
And in the right order.
Everybody's on their feet
except for Brent, of course.
Brent, stay down.
Stay down.
Can I ask him any questions?
Ask who?
Brent.
No.
Brent is not your partner.
He's not your friend.
All right.
He's your name tag.
This is going to be over between you and Brent in a few minutes.
Brent, stop talking to him.
Stop trying to help Brent.
I will kick you in the end.
Second billing. Second billing. Second build name.
I know the character. Okay, I know all the three, four, and five build people. Let me
make a quick announcement while you do that. I'm not.
While you think about it.
I don't know it, and I'm not going to be able to guess that second person.
All right.
So I'll make that quick announcement later then.
So you are saying Jonah, Jonah Ray.
I almost called him Jonah Hill.
Out on Blu-ray soon.
Watch the watch on Blu-ray, Jonah Hill.
Yeah, you already know it.
You're already going to get this point.
I'm right about that, aren't I?
Yeah, and it's going to be a three-way tie.
It's going to be exciting.
I can't, yeah, I don't know the second billing.
Okay.
Neither do I.
But that's okay, because I got to say negative one.
And if the movie is Halloween?
Uh-huh.
Stupid.
Go ahead.
Top billed build Top bill
The yogurt lady herself
Jamie Lee Curtis
No that's incorrect
It's Donald Pleasence
Oh
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Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh. I should have a- I should. Is this a setup? Is this an intervention?
Did we really win?
Yeah, that was amazing.
I shouldn't have gotten cocky.
Hey, but this whole time, still picture that he's my invisible friend.
Keep saying, you did win.
Good for you.
I'm not here.
He even said Curtis' feature film debut, Jonah.
What?
Donald Pleasance had been in thousands of movies.
He was why that movie got financing,
probably even got made.
Yeah, I really thought,
everyone else put that together too, huh?
No, I knew it was a crapshoot
and you might go the wrong way.
I knew from the beginning.
Weird detective with a donut.
Would you have gone?
Shut up, Rory.
You didn't earn that point.
You would have got fucked over just like me.
I knew from the beginning. No, you didn't.
That was your debut film. Come on.
We all knew it.
It was right in front of your face. You're lying. You're lying.
You're a fucking rookie. You're a rookie.
You already got the fucking point,
you piece of shit. Your fucking buddy's all
happy now. I disappointed
Robocop.
Oh, Robocop.
This Robocop. This one. Hey, RoboCop. This RoboCop.
This one.
Hey, we all make mistakes.
We sure do,
Donald Pleasant.
Or whatever his name is. I don't remember
already.
I'm going to eat the rest of these donuts
tonight alone in my hotel.
Is that the end of the game, Doug?
Yeah, Roy's our winner.
What?
Yeah.
I know.
Wait, can I just say something?
Please.
How's that fair?
Because I did everything perfect.
I only had one question.
I answered it.
And how can that be fucking fair?
That means that I didn't even have a chance.
I didn't make any mistakes.
I couldn't agree more and if I could share this title
I would.
Can you share it with me?
I'd share it with all three of us.
We all are fully aware I was the only one
who shouldn't have won.
Listen, I don't give a shit.
I am going to give these prizes to Brent. Congratulations, Brent.
Don't forget your water.
I'm so sorry, Robicup.
There you go, buddy. Oh, shit.
Sorry. His water fell on the floor.
I can't get it. There you go, buddy. Oh, shit. Sorry. His water fell on the floor.
I can't get it.
Whatever he drops, we keep.
God, he's the most talkative name tag I've ever met.
Don't ever go to a class reunion.
But we can't remember his name.
Thanks, Brad.
Get out of here.
Wouldn't that be weird if he went to a class reunion and he'd have a little tag that said Brent right here?
Yeah, I'm a name tag. That's what I do for a living.
But my name's Brent,
so I...
Thanks, dude.
You can go. You can go right down those stairs.
Right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go right down those stairs.
Brent!
Give him the old kick down the stairs.
Oh, wow.
Well, good job, everybody.
But, Arj, you were competitive for your first time That was exciting
Thank you
The person you played for
Who was that again?
Marie over there
Yeah Marie come on up here
So you can name a shithead for me to name at the end of the show
Awesome
Give it up for Marie everybody
And Jonah
I'll take Robocop shithead Becca the end of the show. Awesome. Give it up for Maria, everybody. And Jonah.
I'll take Robocop, Shithead.
Becca. Oh my god, that's a gnarly one.
Pretty gnarly.
Oh, you wrote down a little card.
Thank you very much.
Little card! This one's got some sarcasm to it. It's got a
nice little kick to it.
So I will read these at the very end.
Anything to plug, Arj?
Anything coming up?
Any dates you international superstar you?
Well, if you're in Marin, I'm doing part of a benefit this Saturday at the pavilion in Fairfax for this local kid that has leukemia.
It's a nice thing.
If you're in Fairfax, come out to that.
Which one are you guys? I would like it noted that I did not. It's a nice thing. Can I appear in Fairfax, come out to that? Which one are you guys?
I would like it noted that I did not do that.
Yeah, that was Jonah.
That was Jonah.
And also, I think I'll be appearing with you maybe around New Year's here in the city.
So that'll be...
Yeah, it's called New Year's Eve.
Nob Hill Masonic Temple.
Presented by the Bone Radio Station, featuring Anthony Jeselnik, Amy Schumer, Arj Barker, Ari Shafir, Brendan Walsh, Chris Tinkle, and me, Doug Benson.
Tickets on sale November 9th.
Let's celebrate New Year's together.
San Francisco.
What do you got coming up, Jonah Ray? San Francisco. Deep. Deep.
What do you got coming up, Jonah Ray? I have a podcast called Jonah Radio, and I'm also on the Nerdist podcast.
And that's it.
I'll be back up here for the Sketch Fest, San Francisco Sketch Fest.
I'll be a spotlit comic.
That's always a fun time.
Rory, what do you got going?
I'm going to be at the New York Comedy Festival
and then the Hell Yes Festival
in New Orleans.
And then
Apple Valley, Minnesota.
You said Hell Yes Festival. Some guy says Hell Yeah.
It's a different festival, sir. It's a Yes Festival. Some guy says Hell Yeah.
It's a different festival, sir.
It's a different festival.
So I probably won't see you.
Yeah.
Apple Valley, Minnesota. That festival is so much more aggressive than the Hell Yes Festival.
Hell Yeah.
Yeah.
Scurry Roble is going to be there.
He has weird bizarro versions of everybody.
I wish that last joke would have worked a little better.
I'm sorry.
It's nice to go out strong.
It's overrated.
Not me.
All right.
Also, special announcement.
I don't know what you guys are doing right now
after the show's over, but there's an audience sitting over at the Punchline watching a showcase of, I'm sure, some great local talent.
But Arj, Jonah, Rory, and I are going to, as soon as this show's over, we're going to race over there,
and we're all going to do sets over there.
And we're literally going to race.
Well, we'll go over there safely.
No, no, no.
It's going to be a really epic foot race.
We're going to go around Dead Man's Curve.
It might be raining, so
I'm going to watch where I'm walking.
It's going to be a power walking race.
Yeah. Take a cab, maybe.
But anyway,
you know where it is. We're going over there.
If anybody wants to come over there, it's a fun spot.
Here at Cobb's, I love Cobb's, but it's just
kind of a busy spot, so it's hard to
have like a smoke session after the show.
And it's a lot easier
over at the Punchline, and
I want to see your costumes up close and personal.
So if you come over there, it should be a lot
of fun, and if you don't,
that's cool too.
Yeah.
It's a hard stance.
Yeah.
Either way, you're cool.
Listen, some people have busy lives.
Things are happening.
They've got very important things to think about,
like who the next president is going to be
and how am I going to get my kids ready for school in the morning
and did I do the laundry
and am I going to stay up and watch Jimmy Fallon
even though it's probably a rerun because of Hurricane Sandy
which was a devastating event
that occurred on the East Coast
and our thoughts and prayers go out to them. We'll be right back.
One more time for
Arch Barker, Rory Scoville
and Jonah Ray.
I need that Jonah. Jonah.
Jonah. I kind of need that.
There was a thing that's about to happen.
Yeah.
And as always, as always, as Arj Barker throws candy into the crowd,
while dressed as the saddest of the Teletubbies,
the gray cat Teletubby,
as always,
the first ten minutes of the Marc Maron podcast is a shithead.
I told you it was harsh.
And I don't stand by that one.
And all those weird stickball fans that made me late to work today
is a shithead.
Stickball fans.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you