Doug Loves Movies - Drew Carey, Ken Jennings, Jonathan Mangum and Doug Mellard guest

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

Back home at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Drew Carey, Ken Jennings, Jonathan Mangum and Doug Mellard to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. F...or a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Oh, that was perfect.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Did you guys hear the San Antonio show? Yeah. Yeah, they were not good at that. And they were even worse at the other thing. Yeah, the other shout-out was a mess. So places I'm coming to on the road, get it together. at the other thing. The other shout-out was a mess. So places I'm coming to on the road, get it together. Like they do here
Starting point is 00:00:50 in Los Angeles. You guys know the chants, you just don't make name tags. Once again, we are at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California! You guys know when to clap it's awesome it's Tuesday February 11th 2019
Starting point is 00:01:09 and speaking of UCB Douglas movies will be coming for the first time to the UCB New York Hell's Kitchen location on Saturday yeah who is fucking right on Saturday April 4th at 10.30 p.m.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Yeah. I think there'll be some awesome name tags there. This is so stupid. Speaking of name tags, what have you guys got, L.A.? I see one up here in front that I like a lot. It's got a lot of Tito's and soda on it. And it says Beagle.
Starting point is 00:01:50 What does that mean? It's my last name. Your last name's Beagle? But what movie is it a parody of? Beagle and the Hendersons. Beagle and the Hendersons. Okay. Can't believe I didn't get that right away.
Starting point is 00:02:06 What's wrong with me? I feel good about your chances of getting chosen though Because you're the only framed one With a bunch of Tito's on it And then we've got Is that a Coco poster up there? Yeah And what did you change it to? Yair
Starting point is 00:02:19 Instead of Coco These puns are incredible That you guys are coming up with Yair instead of Coco. These puns are incredible. That you guys are coming up with. Why don't you just pick a movie that has one word in the title, change it, oh, I guess that's what you did. What's this big red one up here? Yeah, what does it say?
Starting point is 00:02:39 Vampires Chris. Vampires Chris. Okay, yeah. Yeah, people are going wild for that one. Okay, we got enough. Okay, yeah. Yeah, people are going wild for that one. Okay, we got enough. Okay, good. Oh, there's a big one up there. All right.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Good job, everybody. And good luck. Doug Plugs. Oh, this is exciting. You know it's true because I wrote down, oh, this is exciting. I'm doing a stand-up show at the Improv in Tampa, Florida on Thursday, February 27th. That's not the exciting part.
Starting point is 00:03:11 I mean, it is exciting. But we're going to play a game from Doug Lowe's movies, probably Last Woman Stanton, with every audience member who brings a name tag to the show. And the winner that day can be, they have the option, I don't know if they want to go all the way tag to the show. And the winner that day can be, they have the option, I don't know if they want to go all the way over to Orlando, but they have the option to be a guest
Starting point is 00:03:31 on Douglas Movies at the Orlando Improv on Sunday, March 1st at 7 p.m. It's a great way to trick, I mean, encourage people to come to both shows. For more info, go to Douglovesmovies.com That's Douglovesmovies.com Yeah!
Starting point is 00:03:52 Click on! Wallet! Shh! Ted Danson? Yeah! Miss Piggy doesn't go there. Miss Piggy goes when I say we're going to play Doug Loves Muppets see that's where that goes
Starting point is 00:04:10 you fucking tricked me announcement Doug Loves Movies has a Twitter account now yes go to Doug Loves Movies has a Twitter account now yes go to at Doug Loves Movies for all well not all
Starting point is 00:04:31 of your Doug Loves Movies needs but some of them and then that way I can free up my regular Twitter for more more weed jokes
Starting point is 00:04:39 and and yeah we'll see we'll see how that goes I feel like it's too much work having one account let's get my guests out here there's been lots of great
Starting point is 00:04:52 women on the show over the last few months but finally we're back to a panel of all men how God intended uh but they're great ones and there's kind of a theme.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Please give it up everybody for Jonathan Mangum, Ken Jennings, Doug Mellard, and Drew Carey! Oh boy! Come on down everybody! You're the next contestants on Doug Loves Smoothies. Hey, guys.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Grab your microphones, and we're off and running. Let's say hello to them individually. Starting with, we have two first-time guests on the show. Let's meet them alphabetically, shall we? As I work that out in my head. Drew Carey is here, everybody! How you doing? This is the hoodie I had to wear when I did Masked Singer.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Whenever I'd show up at Masked Singer, I had a visor like the chick that fucked the owner of the Clippers wore. I can't remember her name. Wow, you're great at talking charades. And this visor, and that's how I had to come out in the lot and everything so nobody knew who I was.
Starting point is 00:06:26 So I thought I'd wear it here yeah it says don't talk to me yeah yeah so now you just wear it all the time that's my favorite hoodie now
Starting point is 00:06:32 it must be a real conversation starter nope don't talk to me does it say it's a hoodie does it say does the hood
Starting point is 00:06:42 say anything on it no it just says like a pair of eyes or something? No But thank you for being here And for being awesome on Price is Right Thank you for the money In our homes every day
Starting point is 00:06:56 Except for when presidents are being impeached It was a rough period for me Because Price is I was Postponed for the news Pretty much every day We get a lot of complaints when that happens Yeah, like it's your fault
Starting point is 00:07:12 You're the reason the government Is having problems It needs to be on TV all day Hey man, you never know Freaking government You don't know what I do Yeah, government. You don't know what I do. Yeah, you're a real... You don't know what the best...
Starting point is 00:07:30 I'm Q. I'm the guy. I'm the guy. Plinko is some real deep state shit. Oh, also I should mention the theme tonight is game shows. And also joining us is the very awesome announcer for Let's Make a Deal. It's Jonathan Mangum, everybody. Thanks. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:07:53 This is actually the jacket that I wore here tonight. Oh, okay. It says, don't talk to me without words. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But thanks for being here, dude. We've never met, to my knowledge.
Starting point is 00:08:11 We have not, but I'm a big fan, so thanks for having me. Well, thank you so much. Yeah, I was very excited to see. I believe this happened because of a publicist reaching out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like I said, I'm a huge game show fan. And strangely, Let's Make a Deal on impeachment day, a lot of the days you get to watch
Starting point is 00:08:29 all of that. And then Price is Right would come on and then suddenly the, you know, what's her name? Nora O'Donnell would show up on the screen and be like, impeachment guys! Let's talk about it. All day. CBS has priorities like which shows
Starting point is 00:08:45 they like better oh I see so no offense don't talk to him don't talk to him but alright
Starting point is 00:08:52 you're throwing down another challenge here are you good at movie trivia kind of stuff any movie before 1984 that's about Star Wars if it's
Starting point is 00:09:02 if it's Star Wars and before 84 I know it well. Okay. Well, tonight, you guys should be fine because you're only going up against the greatest Jeopardy contestant of all time.
Starting point is 00:09:16 It's that motherfucking goat, Ken Jennings! Hey, guys. Hey, Doug. Already not forming things as a question I'm retired I don't do that shtick anymore What is I'm retired Yeah, you've done it all I mean now
Starting point is 00:09:38 Will there be another tournament that they'll ask you to do Or as greatest of all time Do you just get to say no I'm the greatest of all time do or as greatest of all time do you just get to say no, I'm the greatest of all time? It seems like it must be it's the greatest of all times. Yeah. Not just some current time.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Plural. Plural times. All times. Yeah. So it seems like it would be a lifetime appointment like Pope or Drew Carey. When they were able to take
Starting point is 00:10:02 all your memory and brain and put it into a chip after you die, that's going to be awesome. Yeah, live long enough for that to be a thing. Is it going to have all my personal memories? I hope so. We get to see Hologram U play Jeopardy. What a boring episode of Black Mirror that would be.
Starting point is 00:10:27 The last time you were on this show, it was in Seattle in December, and I was... You had a little secret there. I was well aware that he won the whole tournament of all times because I went to the taping the week before here in Los Angeles, and they made me sign an NDA for a million dollars
Starting point is 00:10:47 to not say anything about it. And then I got high and did a podcast where I'm talking to Ken for like 90 minutes. And I know that he is the goat. And I didn't say shit. I got through it. You were so good. I didn't even fucking hint at knowing or anything.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Like, it was just, hey, Ken, I guess you're going to do that tournament soon. Good luck. It's the same as the prize for the tournament. It was a million-dollar purse. So they could have financed the whole tournament if you had just screwed up on your podcast. So, yeah, let's say I messed up. Would you have loaned me the million since you have it laying around
Starting point is 00:11:29 minus all that taxes? Sure. Sure, absolutely, Doug. Do they, does Jeopardy, not to get too personal, but does Jeopardy just cut you a check and you worry about the taxes or do they have to take it out?
Starting point is 00:11:42 They deduct, super interesting answer, they deduct California state tax, weirdly, but not federal so you can you can still do the richard hatch from survivor thing where you think oh i just won't pay federal tax and see what happens and what happens is you will go to federal prison but it's not they don't take it off off the top they think if you're smart enough to win on Jeopardy, you can either pay your taxes or figure out how to cheat the IRS. I won $1,000 on Scrabble.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Chuck Woolery counted it off into my hand, that gag. And yeah, they just send you a check for the full $1,000, and they're like, you work out the tax thing. And I'll say this right now publicly, probably never paid a dime of taxes on that. And to complete the game show theme, I'm so excited about our fourth guest tonight because his wife...
Starting point is 00:12:43 My wife. That's not how that works. She was a contestant on Price is Right? That's right. It's Doug Mallard, everybody. Hello, everybody. This is the shirt I wore when Drew was on Masked Singer and I was watching.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Oh, okay. Says Ryan fucking Bingham. It has nothing to do with anything except ryan bingham yeah who's like a country artist yeah he's really good he was in crazy heart yeah oh he was yeah yeah all right cool i'm sorry that you guys don't have any beverages is everybody all right because we we could we could have arranged we can all split we could arrange that yeah just share doug's water water. Wait, so what'd she win? Like a living room set?
Starting point is 00:13:27 She won an iPad, and she won a home spa, and an automatic dog feeder, and then almost won a car, but didn't win the car. Oh, let me guess why she didn't win the car, because she didn't know what the price was in cents. She didn't know it was 43 cents at the end. It was a game where you had to jump on the numbers in order of... What did you say the game was? It's called Pathfinder.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Pathfinder, yeah, that is. It's the bane of her existence now. And after the show, she immediately was so apologetic to me. She's like, I should have won that card, and so I've just been fake mad at her ever since. I'm like, you bitch. What's the one called with the mountain climber? I call it the Yoda League I game, but it's called...
Starting point is 00:14:10 It's called... Cliffhangers. Mountain climbers. Something like that. What is it called? Cliffhangers. Cliffhangers. I don't know why I'm asking questions and looking at anybody but Ken.
Starting point is 00:14:22 I never call it cliffhangers. Oh, I know I do when I walk up because it says it on top of it. There we go. And then the whole rest of the time I'm like, yodeling guy, yodeling guy, yodeling guy. And then I always call it the yodeling guy game backstage. I never call it cliffhangers. But the people that have lost at that game,
Starting point is 00:14:38 him just going over the edge must be like haunt them. It must be in their dreams. Yeah. Anytime they hear yodeling if you're ever on price is right no matter what we show you on cliffhangers say 25 35 45 and you'll never lose that game wow should you be telling the public this information i tell the audience every time after the game and people in the audience that watch the show are always yelling out $25 $35 because that's the price range
Starting point is 00:15:08 or you can yell $20, $30, $40 but they ultimately don't follow your advice because they think you're just saying that I tell them after the game oh after
Starting point is 00:15:15 how to play it if they mess up here's where you fucked up yeah yeah I do and then I'm like a sports commentator after the game
Starting point is 00:15:24 and then on 10 on a game called 10 chances all the prices end in zero Yeah, I do. I'm like a sports commentator after the game. And then on a game called Ten Chances, all the prices end in zero. But I'm not allowed to tell them that, but I can tell them at the end of the game. Oh, man. And now, apparently. I wish more people knew. So many of these people
Starting point is 00:15:40 are going to be lined up on Fairfax tomorrow. Wearing their Pick Me Drew shirts. I love that show so much. And Let's Make a Deal. And Jeopardy. And Doug is here. Let's talk prize bag. Let's talk what people brought.
Starting point is 00:16:06 I brought a bunch of stuff. Let's start with you, Doug. It looks like I called you very last minute for this. Apologies to anyone who was excited that Zach Galifianakis was going to be here tonight. But he had to work late, so he wasn't able to make it. I don't believe he has a job,
Starting point is 00:16:22 but that's what he said. They wouldn't have known he was going to be here, right? Oh, no. I leaked it today. Oh, gotcha. I brought an album called He Touched Me on vinyl. I don't know what that's about, but it doesn't sound good.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Oh, it's like a gospel record. Oh, bummer. Yeah. Yeah, you were really hoping for some sort of how-to man yeah how to that was about my uncle i brought my download card for my new album fart safari 2 fart harder thank you yeah for anyone wondering there is a fart safari one. Yeah, and three's coming. And then I got a fart safari t-shirt. Wow. Isn't that a Beach Boys song?
Starting point is 00:17:08 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Come on, baby, it's a fart safari. Come on, baby, it's a fart safari. I'm going to have to use that sound clip now. And then I brought a burrito for President 2020 t-shirt. That's it. That's it?
Starting point is 00:17:24 That's amazing. Great. That's it. That's it? That's amazing. That's some good stuff. I'll do my things one at a time in between each guest. I was in Vegas recently, so I grabbed a copy of Las Vegas Magazine. What do you have, Drew? I have
Starting point is 00:17:39 two autographed by me Price is Right coffee mugs. And I also have autographed by me Price is Right coffee mugs. And I also have autographed by me Price is Right magnets. There are three of them. And I have an autographed by me Price is Right cap. All right. I'd like one of the magnets. All right.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Yeah. Thank you. I'm really proud of my magnets on my refrigerator so this is going to be a nice addition and you know that way everything's in pairs but just the one hat though so if you win your loved one's going to have to live with the fact that there's only one hat you can pass it down this way
Starting point is 00:18:19 I'll put it in my bag over here but those are terrific thank you so much for bringing that I had a PA who grabbed it for me today. Well, I'm sorry. How often, Drew, do you jump up there
Starting point is 00:18:32 and plinko? How often have you spun the wheel? Do you feel like you're good at spinning the wheel? Yeah, when I first got the job, we would rehearse the games and I would spin the wheel
Starting point is 00:18:42 constantly and now I don't ever do it at all. But I know, oh, plinko, you have to drop it right in the center, we would rehearse the games and I would spin the wheel constantly and now I don't ever do it at all. But I know, oh, Plinko, you have to drop it right in the center, like right over the top. And don't spin it, just let it go. And that gives you the best chance of hitting the
Starting point is 00:18:55 center $10,000. But don't bring it over here, don't bring it over here, don't bring it too high, don't put English on it. Right in the center. So it's like if this was the thing like right here and then just let it go
Starting point is 00:19:11 that's the best chance of getting the 10,000 I wish I could give hints about let's make a deal but it's all like it's a box or a curtain I know that's all there is
Starting point is 00:19:21 there's no hey listen pick one pick one you know do your best. That's what drives me crazy is when people in the audience in that show have such firm opinions about which one they should pick.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Absolutely. It's the card on. Yeah. You don't know. Calm down. On Jeopardy, it's always Bulgaria. When in doubt, Bulgaria. Just say Bulgaria
Starting point is 00:19:45 And don't put a spin on it I also got a bunch of stuff From a company that makes glass pipes And stuff recently But they sent me a hat That's got the California bear on it But it also says the name of the company Which is Mav I don't know, the whole hat's a little too hat that's like got the california bear on it but it also says the name of the company which is mav
Starting point is 00:20:05 and it i don't know the whole hat's a little too i wouldn't wear it in public but uh but you should but yeah if you like having fun if you like having people coaching you what's with that fucking hat the red brim's a little much. Jonathan? Yeah, so if you guys remember back in like 99 to 2005, the way that movies used to market themselves is they used to have postcards. These big old vats of postcards. You couldn't go to a urinal without like 30 postcards, right? So I used to collect them. So I brought, because your podcast is about movies,
Starting point is 00:20:40 I brought some cool movie postcards that I have collected from 20 years ago. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, freaking amazing movie. Being John Malkovich, freaking amazing movie. Starship Troopers, a movie. Could you guys hold your applause until the end of the... Kids in the Hall Brain Candy. Yeah, love Kids in the Hall. And then, of course, the coup de grace.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Showgirls. Showgirls. Yeah. I can't believe you're giving up all of those how many do you but you still have plenty in your collection i've got like 30 of each so we're good okay that's right too that's the kind of thing when you'd see them you'd grab more than one yeah you're never gonna use any of them but you grab. I love that. Thank you. Sure. This is a thing where it's like a lollipop, but after you eat it, I guess it's got THC in it. After you eat it, you can bury the rest of it and a weed will grow. Do you have to click your heels together? I think it takes more than just sticking you know, sticking it in the ground.
Starting point is 00:21:46 I think it really is, you've got to have a... Hey, freshman. A green thumb. Take this lollipop and plant it. It's grown to a weed plant. Really? All right. Why is there a four-year-old at that high school?
Starting point is 00:22:04 Smart four-year-old. And then I've got from Rockin' Pins, a beautiful Doug Benson pin that won't go in the prize bag tonight if somebody matches me later and you know what. But let's go down here to Ken and see
Starting point is 00:22:19 what he brought for the bag. I actually forgot to bring something on this trip. Well, you travel, you know. You live in the Pacific Northwest. And I'm retired from remembering things, as I mentioned. Sure. But I'm down here doing a show for GSN, the Game Show Network, and my friends at GSN hooked me up with
Starting point is 00:22:35 some kind of Game Show Network microfiber something. It's a blanket. I don't know what it is. Wow. Toreador cape. I don't know what this is. Wow. And Toreador cape? I don't know what this is. And a tote bag. It's got a weird texture to it. It's like a future towel.
Starting point is 00:22:52 It's like something you got after you donated to the Game Show Network. They have a public radio model at the Game Show Network. Did it come in a Game Show Network tote? At the $200 level, you do get a Game Show Network tote? At the $200 level, you do get this Game Show Network
Starting point is 00:23:07 tote. They're really struggling. And some crunchy and wholesome popcorn snack. And really, the piece de
Starting point is 00:23:17 resistance here is a giant foam figure from a failed Caroline Ray game show that was on the Game Show Network at some point. And Drew Carey will sign it. That's a great one.
Starting point is 00:23:35 I love stuff like that. Yeah, let's definitely get everybody's signature on that. And if you bury that, it grows into a plant also. It grows into a Caroline Ray. It grows into a Caroline Ray. You got to be good to it or it'll give you a different finger.
Starting point is 00:23:56 This is great. Oh my god. Thank you, Ken. All of this stuff is going in the bag tonight, but before we get to the games, I have a couple of quick questions for everybody. Ken, in any format, what was the last movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:24:20 Having done this show like a dozen times, of course I was ready for this question and can immediately... Oh, I saw that crazy Nicolas Cage movie, Color Out of Space. I went down to the Arclight, the Cinerama Dome, and saw... Color Out of Space.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Do you notice it's like Mandy? It's one of these kind of crazy, florid, heavy metal kind of things, but it's a Lovecraft short story, and it's just Nicolas Cage just going crazy, but this time because aliens or monsters or ancient aliens or something are invading
Starting point is 00:24:49 his farmhouse. It's a documentary. It's very colorful like people have suggested it's a good motion picture to see while you're tripping. I wouldn't say that. I don't think anyone who listens to these shows... It does feel like you're tripping even if you're not watching it.
Starting point is 00:25:07 It's pretty psychedelic. It's as close as I get to hallucination is a crazy Nick Cage movie. Yeah, and it's got some really weird violence and makeup effects and stuff. You saw it? Yeah, I liked it. It's an H.P. Lovecraft thing. If you like racist horror
Starting point is 00:25:23 of the 1920s. I liked it. It's a H.P. Lovecraft thing. If you like racist horror of the 1920s. Which who doesn't, right? Yeah. Alright, Jonathan. Here comes that hardball question. Last movie you saw. So my kids are old enough now. They're 13 and 16. So they're old enough now that I feel like I can watch rated R movies with them
Starting point is 00:25:39 and not feel so uncomfortable. So we watched Lethal Weapon. The movie. And I found outhal Weapon, the movie. And I found out it's also, like Die Hard, it's also a Christmas movie, which I did not remember. Yeah, it's all Christmassy stuff the whole time. And there's more Mel Gibson ass than boob in Lethal Weapon, which I noticed, and my kids did too,
Starting point is 00:26:02 and told me about it. Also, the first scene has Danny Glover in the bathtub one of the first scenes and his whole family comes in to hang out while he's taking a bath. It's the weirdest thing. That's a weird family to me. Yeah that's weird and then also one of the greatest continuity things of all time is
Starting point is 00:26:18 when Mel Gibson falls into the pool. He falls into it with a guy and they struggle on the pool cover and stuff. When he gets out, his boots are just sitting by the side of the pool like he had taken the time to take them off when he did not know
Starting point is 00:26:33 he was about to fall into a pool. I guess when you get close to a pool, you probably take your boots off. You would. They just cut that scene. It was a four minute boot off scene. There was a lot of dialogue. Yeah, instead of rolling
Starting point is 00:26:49 up their sleeves and spitting in their hands, they're just taking off their boots before they fight into the pool. Okay, so that's a good one.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Drew, what about you? The last movie you saw. On Sunday, I watched Jojo Rabbit for the second time because I love Hitler. I mean, he has a really lovable Hitler
Starting point is 00:27:18 in that movie, but, you know, also annoying. So, it works out in the end. I've seen...
Starting point is 00:27:29 I saw 1917 six times. Does that mean anything? Wait, so you've seen 11,478? Is that really the number? Oh my God, if that had really been the number... Holy crap.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Fuck you, man. Fuck you. I'll put up with this. What do you think you liked that movie so much? 1917? I loved it. And then I watched like 20 hours of World War I documentaries. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:13 After that. So I was like really into the whole thing for a while. And you liked, I suppose you probably liked Dunkirk? Yeah, it was all right. No six-timer? No. Yeah, that was okay. What was the most recent movie you've watched in insane,
Starting point is 00:28:28 like way more than six? Like is there any modern classic to you that you've seen? Oh, Whiplash. That was my 20 times I've seen that movie. That is really rewatchable. Like really like 20 times. Something about the tension is there regardless of when you know where it's going.
Starting point is 00:28:43 First time I saw it, I was at the Arclight, and I was with somebody, and we didn't know what movie we were going to watch. We just it's going. First time I saw it, I was at the Arclight. And I was with somebody. And we didn't know what movie we were going to watch. We just, let's just go and see what's playing. And I didn't know a thing about it. And just happened to see the thing. Yeah, you were just hoping it was about a car accident. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:56 And I saw the award things on it. And we were like, oh, let's go see that one. Didn't know anything about it. Not one thing. And then I walked in. And it was. Uh-oh. Was that a lie? CBS is saying, don't talk about Hitler anymore.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Don't tell them how to win at Plinko. I swear my phone's on airplane mode in my bag. My kids calling me. Yeah, but I love that movie. Yeah. The first week I kept dragging people to see it. You know who hates it? His musicians love that movie. Yeah. And so then I, like the first week I kept dragging people to see it and,
Starting point is 00:29:26 you know. You know who hates it? His musicians hate that movie because he's supposed to be such a great musician teacher and then there's a scene in the club where he's playing
Starting point is 00:29:33 the worst smooth jazz you've ever heard. It's just like, wow. And then the actor played his own drums and he was a good drummer for an actor
Starting point is 00:29:40 but he's not as good as a jazz drummer. Jazz drummers don't think he's, they think it's a good movie but they don't think he's that great of a jazz drummer. Jazz drummers don't think he's... They think it's a good movie but they don't think he's that great of a jazz drummer. I found out. Yeah, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Anytime they make a movie about a thing that people are good at, the people that are good at it are going to go, oh, they didn't get that right. Yeah, yeah. They fucked that up. Yeah. You know, like in What's the Point in Time in Hollywood,
Starting point is 00:30:04 they totally fucked up. Like the actors, you know, kill in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, they totally fucked up. Like, the actors, you know, kill all those Manson people. That didn't happen, Doug. That didn't really happen that way, no. And the Alamo really has a basement, so that was all bullshit, too. Fuck you, Doug! What was the last movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:30:29 1917, actually. How many times? Just the once, but I will see it again. I loved it. Oh my God. Spectacular. It's intense.
Starting point is 00:30:37 Yeah. It made me realize I don't really know. I want to watch Document. I don't know anything about... We know so much about World War II, but not one. Oh yeah, World War I fucked up yeah man it's crazy watch 20 hours of documentaries on it it's amazing how fucked up that did you see that peter jackson movie where
Starting point is 00:30:55 he colorized all the old fantastic right three times i've seen that yeah yeah i don't have a number for you but yeah i didn't like the job of the hut they added into that, though. Yeah. Weird. The whole time I went to this horrible World War I thing about all the horrors of World War I, and the whole time I was like, what's with their fucking teeth?
Starting point is 00:31:15 Like, there's that Peter Jackson documentary, just like, wow, they have such fucked up teeth. But they were, like, walking through bodies, and, you know... That'll ruin your teeth. Yeah. Why'd they get such fucked up teeth all right well one more question you guys we're running a little behind but i love this um we'll start with you ken i don't know if i asked you this the last time you were on. What is Bulgaria? Sorry.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Seriously, though, what is it? This landlocked Balkan country. People ask Alex questions all the time. He just moves on. Imagine if questions actually worked like that. Like somebody said to you, what is Bulgaria? And your answer was, this landlocked Balkan
Starting point is 00:32:05 nation. Actually, it's the area right in your crotch. The Bulge area. Correct? I didn't know that it was landlocked or Balkan. So you got me there. I think it might not be landlocked, and we're going to get
Starting point is 00:32:23 letters from your geographically astute listeners. They'll be Bulgarian so fuck it. So you got me there. I think it might not be landlady, and we're going to get letters. From your geographically astute listeners. They'll be Bulgarian, so fuck it. This show is translated into no languages. I like to see if anybody wants to do any impressions. Have you ever done any impressions on the show, Ken? I never have. Do you have any? What about Alex Trebek? Do you do an impression of him?
Starting point is 00:32:50 I don't do Alex. He's a tough impression. He is? Yeah. I mean, you can sound slightly Canadian. Yes. You can say, oh, I'm sorry. No, no, I'm sorry. Sorry. Yes, when somebody gets something wrong. Incorrect. Sorry. And he says the word genre in a way that is neither the American nor the French pronunciation,
Starting point is 00:33:07 but something of his own invention. Like he'll say, this genre. Maybe it's Canadian. I don't know. Genre. Genre. Genre. Macabre.
Starting point is 00:33:24 So I don't know if that counts as an impression. I did and I'm moving on. That may be wise. I'm satisfied. Jonathan, what about you? I do a Drew Carey impression. Fuck you, kitten! Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:33:39 So vivid. So real. Same volume and everything exactly that was great do you really is that it that's about it
Starting point is 00:33:52 oh okay aren't you an announcer you like work with your voice huh that you don't fuck you Ken that was me doing me telling him to go
Starting point is 00:34:00 fuck himself but that's what I love about Let's Make a Deal is you and Wayne you have a lot of fun together and like, you know, it just seems like you're both just goofing off and getting paid. We've been pals since we were teenagers so we just try to make each other laugh.
Starting point is 00:34:17 And what people don't know is that we say a lot of really dirty stuff. They say say whatever you want so we're dropping F-bombs. We say what makes each other laugh and they'll just cut it out. Yeah. So we never feel like
Starting point is 00:34:27 we're being held back or have to do daytime clean stuff. Yeah. It seems like it's super fun. I want to, if I may, can I come to a taping?
Starting point is 00:34:35 Hell yeah, man. But I'd have to wear a costume. Yeah, you would. Okay. My two go-tos are Harry Potter or Andy Warhol. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Yeah. Harry Warhol. Maybe, Yeah. Harry Warhol. Maybe, yeah. That might be fun. Andy Potter. I could go either way with that. What about you, Drew? Do you do any impressions?
Starting point is 00:34:58 Yes. I do a foghorn leghorn impression. I love it already. This is my impression. One of our greatest stars. This is my impression of foghorn leghorn as the United States government. Foghorn ashorn impression. I love it already. One of our greatest stars. This is my impression of foghorn leghorn as the United States government. Foghorn as the government.
Starting point is 00:35:11 I'll say, look at me while I'm fucking you, boy. And that's the sort of thing you do for the audience during the commercial breaks. Yes. You have fun with that. Yeah. I can teach can teach you how but I won't takes too much time But I can also teach you how to do a foghorn like one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't go I say I say you have to start a Sentence interrupt a word then say I say then repeat the word and continue
Starting point is 00:35:40 Look at me. I say look at me while I'm fucking your boy see it's not i say i say he doesn't say that anybody that watched foghorn my important cartoons is anyone under 65 here in the audience today let's talk about played again sam he never really never really said it yeah built too low to look around everybody gets darth Vader's quote wrong, too. Oh, yeah, that's right. What does he really say? Luke, I am your father. He says, no, I am your father. No, I am your father.
Starting point is 00:36:13 There's no Luke, right? There's no Luke in it, yeah. Yeah, so we don't know who's the kid. He could be talking to anybody. Yeah. You need to address people when you have a helmet over your face. Kids, if you stand around going, I'm your father. Luke's down there with no hand going, who is he looking at?
Starting point is 00:36:33 That was not a bad impression of Mark Hamill screaming. What about you, Doug? What do you got? I know I have some, but I can't think on the spot. Well, just don't start with I say, I say. Gomer Pyle. Shazam! That was a really good impression of the late Jim Neighbors.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Foghorn, Leghorn, and Jim Neighbors. You guys all get that, right? Everybody got that? Shazam, I say, got that? Shazam! I say, I say. Shazam. Yeah, I fucked it all up. You're right, Drew.
Starting point is 00:37:13 It does take a while to learn that. So let's go to the part of the show where I say, turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! Here's the deal. Some of these audience members have crafted name tags, movie posters, if you will, that they've worked their own name into.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Sometimes they attach things to bribe people. Sometimes they just write their name on a phone. You hold that up, so you get a brand new phone if you pick that one. And I'd like each of you gentlemen to just go and select the one you like the most, for whatever reasons, and bring it back to your seat. And that's who you're going to play on behalf of today. And they're going to be your partner when you need a lifeline. of today and they're going to be your partner when you need a lifeline.
Starting point is 00:38:04 So pick somebody that seems smart and beautiful and like a winner. That's this terrible seat over there. They're just ignoring you over there. Is that an ex machina thing? Yeah. Ha ha.
Starting point is 00:38:20 That wasn't bad. I recognize that from this far. All right. Fall on down. All right, we're going to go to a brief commercial break. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, or more specifically, the people of Tempe, Arizona.
Starting point is 00:38:44 I will be at the Tempe Improv once again doing Doug Loves Movies on Saturday, April 11th at 420. And then the next weekend on Sunday, April 19th, I'm doing standout at the Punchline in San Francisco. It's my annual countdown to 420 show. And then on 420, April 20th, 2020, Denver, Colorado, Comedy Works, downtown is the place to be. Hope to see you there. Back to the show. We're back. We're back. And to see you there. Back to the show.
Starting point is 00:39:26 We're back. We're back and this is very exciting. There's a gentleman in the front row whose name tag didn't get chosen. The Beagle, our friend the Beagle. He's been marathon. How do you get to go to so many Price is Right tapings?
Starting point is 00:39:41 I'm on leave so I've been in every one since last Monday. They just let you keep coming back? Like there aren't other people that want to go? That's awesome. You just got to show up.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Just hang out. You show up and get in there. Well, it's good. And you wear a, what do you wear? Like a shirt that says something on it? That doesn't help.
Starting point is 00:39:57 I wear navy t-shirts all the time, but it hasn't helped. Navy? Yeah. That's good. They're very good to service people.
Starting point is 00:40:03 I don't know. Well, if you go to Mario you know how to win half the game so it's good at what point does it cross the line and somebody's like
Starting point is 00:40:15 too much of an acquaintance for them to go up on stage and play the games with you like where ethically
Starting point is 00:40:21 where is the line drawn so he could still get picked tomorrow oh yeah okay cool I didn't want to ruin it for Beagle once I get high games with you, like ethically, where is the line drawn? So he could still get picked tomorrow? Oh, yeah. I didn't want to ruin it for Beagle. Once I get high with you, that's it. See, I knew there was some point,
Starting point is 00:40:33 there was some demarcation. Ken, whose name tag did you choose? Ian. This is kind of cracking me up. It's Monty Python's Life of Brian, but he just got rid of some of the letters. So it says Life of Ian. Just get rid of the B and the R and you're good. Sometimes subtractive is better
Starting point is 00:40:52 than additive and there's Skittles on it too. You like Skittles? Sure. Who doesn't like Skittles, Doug? I don't know. I can't produce any names, but they must exist. Jonathan, what do you have there? I think this is Kate.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Is that right? I can't see you. Is that right, Kate? Yeah? So it's cats, but it's Kate, and it's Doug Benson as Rum Doug Duggar. Ooh. And I don't know the show,
Starting point is 00:41:22 but it's your body on the cat body, and you are hot, my friend. You are hot. It's the Cats movie. They went overboard with the sexiness. Yeah. And then putting my face on it really takes it up a lot of notches. Well, thank you for that, Kate.
Starting point is 00:41:40 I'm also on Drew's pick. What do you have, Drew? This is my favorite Nicolas Cage movie Vampire's Kiss it's too late Alba it's too late it's too late
Starting point is 00:41:51 yes too late for impressions yes so he called it Vampire's Kiss and it attracted me because I love this Nicolas Cage movie
Starting point is 00:41:59 yeah my hair's all crazy Nicolas Cage from that movie he eats a roach yeah he really did it yeah he's crazy I. Nicolas Cage from that movie. He eats a roach. Yeah, he really did it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:06 He's crazy. I guess they're not that bad. Roaches? Yeah. Oh, God. Let's do it right now. Compared to what? Those shows where people eat bugs,
Starting point is 00:42:19 there seems to be one that people just sort of, they just get through it and they seem fine. I haven't seen the movie. Is the roach alive? Yes. Oh. Well. For the roach alive? Yes. For a minute. Probably not anymore. He totally eats it off the stove. Now this is something
Starting point is 00:42:33 over here, Doug. You got like a lobby standee for Mrs. Marvel. The Marvelous Mrs. Marvel. And it says Patrick Marvel. I'll be honest, I wasous Mrs. Marvel. And it says Patrick Marvel. I'll be honest. I was just like, that'd be funny if I took this home in the Lyft and just didn't say anything.
Starting point is 00:42:51 That's why I got it. No, you should do the opposite. You should say things like you're on a date with Brie Larson. What's that, honey? You're tired? We're on our way. We'll get you home. You say you have universes to save?
Starting point is 00:43:10 All right. You need some rest first. Captain Marvel. All right. She looks very angry. Good job, Patrick. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:23 That's who everybody's playing for. So now we're just gonna play some games And somebody's gonna Go home with all this stuff Yeah This thing is so big Drew you know that game where They have to write
Starting point is 00:43:41 They have to write a number on a check Check game. What is check game? I think they should call it banks a lot. Yesterday or today, recently, we were laughing because the lady wrote the number on the check, and then the number was wrong, and she didn't win the game. But then you peel the check off, and you hand it to her, and she said out loud,
Starting point is 00:44:14 I don't want that. I mean, it is a cool keepsake, but also it would be sad to look at, you know? It would remind you of losing. If I lost, we'd put a keepsake, but also it would be sad to look at, you know, like, and remind you of losing. If I lost, we put a big void stamp and stamp it. So it says void, and I hope people just put it in a frame and hang it above their couch. It's a good souvenir. I love how you put it in perspective for people. I don't know if Bob Barker used to do that, but you say stuff like, oh, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:44:39 You're going to get to spin the wheel to maybe get into the showcase, or you remind them what they've won already. That's great. You got those bikes. Yeah, I love that. Not the worst day. Sorry, buddy. Still got a shot? Also, the thing that people bid for to get up on stage,
Starting point is 00:45:02 those things are getting expensive. There's things in the multiple thousands a lot now. And so people are still going, $4.50, Drew? I'm like, what are you doing? Have you watched the show lately? I know. And it's okay to $1 somebody.
Starting point is 00:45:16 That's part of the game. Yeah, but I think you should, yeah, $1, I'm over. Don't do the just bidding $1. That doesn't work anymore. He said it was okay. Drew Carey just said you could do that. No, I said over. Don't do the just bidding $1. That doesn't work anymore. He said it was okay. Drew Carey just said you could do that. No, I said strategy-wise.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Strategy-wise. Strategy-wise, just saying $1 is one of the best things you can do. And people have actually lost. Because it's like 600, some people go 500, and they're last. And they don't want to 0-1 somebody, so they go 700. And they blew it. They're all very friendly to each other. The audience, it's a whole love fest.
Starting point is 00:45:47 It really is. My wife stabbed somebody when she was on. It was crazy. She's very competitive. Is that how she got on? Just a quick stab, name tag change, run up there? Yeah. Because sometimes people don't realize
Starting point is 00:46:03 that their name was called right away because it's so loud in that room you can't hear what they're saying. You have to look for a cue card that's held up with their name on it. She still doesn't know she was on. Somebody was in the bathroom once when we called them. Oh my God. I just had to wait.
Starting point is 00:46:18 Was that you? You just had to wait for him. Oh, that's nice. You stopped the show So someone could finish In the bathroom Yeah Number one or number two Yeah how long
Starting point is 00:46:30 I don't know But I'm guessing number two Yeah it'd be weird To leave the audience To that show Because you have to pee You could just
Starting point is 00:46:43 You could get You could get through the hour or whatever. People go through the commercial. Were they mic'd up in the bathroom? No. And somebody peed on camera one time. They peed their pants. Woman playing Plinko. Did it air?
Starting point is 00:46:58 Yeah, it was my wife. She got on the local news because of it. In her hometown. I mean, it's crazy that she peed on camera because the camera's pretty far away. You couldn't miss it. But she was way up on the Plinko,
Starting point is 00:47:13 so she just got a nice arch on it. I gave her an extra 200 bucks. Oh, that was nice. All right, let's start the games with... I'll piss my pants right now for 200 bucks. Come on! Come on! That'd be fun, Jonathan, at the end of Let's Make a Deal when you're doing the small deals with somebody, say, hey, if you have piss in your pants,
Starting point is 00:47:45 I'll give you $100. I'll do it. I'll do it. Did you remember to bring some piss? We mentioned it on Twitter. Okay, this game is called Characters Welcome. I am going to name the just random-ass characters that are listed in the end titles of a motion picture. And you guys, everybody on stage, guess as often as you like
Starting point is 00:48:14 the first person to hone in on the title I'm looking for. You know, as I go along, I'll get closer to the bigger characters in the movie at the end and then that should give it away if we get that far. Any questions? Love it. No. Movies, right?
Starting point is 00:48:36 Yeah, movies. Porn? No. No porn. No TV. Do you know the character names in a lot of porn? Touche Man number three Okay that's not one of them
Starting point is 00:48:58 We're starting now Come on everybody Here we go Number one mom That's porn I know that's porn now. Come on, everybody. Here we go. Number one mom. That's porn. I know that's porn. It's a character. I personally can tell you
Starting point is 00:49:13 that's a porn. I hate these disgusting men who rank their mothers. If you give her $200, she'll do a number one mom. Give her $200. She'll do a number one, Mom. There's another person in this movie who's just listed as waiter. Someone they just call blonde. V.I. Warshawski.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Times have changed. That's a great guess, but no. That's a great guess. That's my Kathleen Turner impression. I'm V.I. Warshawski. Uh, reporter? Kramer vs. Kramer. Great guess, no.
Starting point is 00:49:58 There's someone in this movie called Snodgrass? Kramer vs. Snodgrass. Snodgrass? Kramer vs. Snodgrass. He was so close. He had just said Snodgrass vs. Snodgrass. He would have nailed it. A woman at book party?
Starting point is 00:50:21 Played by someone who has been a guest on this program before. Book club? No. Congressman Divine is the name in this movie. Book Club? No. No. Uh, Congressman Divine is the name in this movie. Somebody in the audience perked up. There's also
Starting point is 00:50:31 an NBC page. Late Night. No, that's not right. Shit. Do you ever do that on Jeopardy? Just take it back right away?
Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah, and Alex would be like, okay, I'll give you a mulligan. To be fair, he did say did say no that's not right Right after There's someone that's given the credit Passerby Oh now I know
Starting point is 00:50:58 That's gotta give it away Passerby and one dollar Excellent bid good luck It's got to give it away. Pass her by and one dollar. Excellent bid. Good luck. The amount is... Slide that thing out. Jack Barry? Does that help anybody?
Starting point is 00:51:18 Quiz show. Oh, I knew it. I knew you'd figure it out. Shooter McGavin as Jack Barry. Yeah, look at that. He even knows the actor who played the role. Christopher McDonald. Wow.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Quiz show from 1984. So, of course, that's right after the cutoff for you guys. That's why you didn't know anything about it. But hopefully you'll do better in this next game that, you know, of course, regular listeners know that I had to play this game tonight. Whose tagline is it anyway? Yeah, just like Bryce Wright, I have a bunch of different games with names, and I rotate them, and like you were saying backstage,
Starting point is 00:51:58 it's fun because you don't have to get sick of any of them. Yeah, I mean, this isn't Plinko, but it's pretty fun. There's little to no yodeling in this. But since Ken won that first game, that's all he won was getting to go first in this next game, so everybody's still in this.
Starting point is 00:52:17 And I'll go to you one at a time, starting with Ken. If he can't think of the right answer, I'll move on to Jonathan, etc. And I'm just going to tell you a tagline from a motion picture from all the movies ever made, and you just have to figure out
Starting point is 00:52:33 what movie that is. Sometimes it's easier than others. A theme will develop. That's it? That's all you need to know. Oh, shit. You got this, Doug. all you need to know you got this Doug are you talking to you
Starting point is 00:52:48 you know I love the pep talks to myself during the show you're doing a great show Doug Doug you gotta get this finished in 19 minutes but you can do it Doug it's like I say to myself things Doug, you gotta get this finished in 19 minutes. You can do it, Doug. It's like I say to myself things they would say to me from the booth.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Ken, what movie has the tagline, things fall down, people look up, and when it rains, it pours? Whats what possibly the worst tagline ever created like would not make anyone go oh i want to see that things fall down period people look up period when it rains it pours. No period. That is obviously... Maybe I just didn't write down that last period. That is... Cheaper by the dozen
Starting point is 00:54:05 with Steve Martin Alright, you don't have to do these show-offy answers where you give more information I don't know, it's clearly not cheaper by the dozen so I'll move on That's not it What do you think it is, John? Could you repeat it one more time, please?
Starting point is 00:54:21 Things fall down, people look up, and when it rains, it pours. I think it's a double feature of Legends of the Fall and Rain Man. Or? It's not or. What the fuck is that? That's your game show. I can say or.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Am I allowed to get an or? I love it. What the fuck is this? It's bullshit. I'd love it. The fuck is this? It's bullshit. I'd love it if Legends of the Falls tagline was things fall down
Starting point is 00:54:50 and Rain Man's tagline was when it rains it pours. Man. You can't just keep guessing. I can keep guessing. All right, yeah. Well, he's definitely
Starting point is 00:55:03 narrowed it down for everybody. Two or three less movies that are not guessing. All right, yeah. Well, he's definitely narrowed it down for everybody. Two or three less movies that are not it. What do you think it is, Drew? I think it's Pennies from Heaven. That's a terrific guess
Starting point is 00:55:14 because that movie was weird. Doug, what do you think? Noah? Hang on, I'm trying to answer. What if it's Noah? Wasn't that the Russell Crowe movie? I was talking to this Doug.
Starting point is 00:55:31 People look up! What was your guess? Noah? Was that the Noah Clark movie where it rained a lot? I have to say Noah. Incorrect. That was the tagline for the motion picture called Magnolia.
Starting point is 00:55:54 When it rains it pours frogs. And it describes things that happen in the movie. But also that's the only tagline that was listed on IMDB. That was the one they ran with. That's why that was such a smash.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Okay, so we're back to Ken again. Nobody's got a point in this game. Tends to stay that way. Ken, what movie has the tagline It ain't easy being this good? Who whispered that?
Starting point is 00:56:36 Drew Carey whispered the Drew Carey story? Yeah, I really thought it was somebody else. It ain't easy being this good. I guess I know the theme, but it's not helping me here. It's not? No. Oh, cool. That is Smokey and the Bandit.
Starting point is 00:57:08 No. Jonathan? Jonathan? What's eating Gilbert Grape? That was so close. Butt wrong. Drew? I may have no idea uh uh fuck i have no police academy just picture like somebody on the poster being like yeah police academy five their their fifth assignment or whatever it was called Doug Beverly Hills Cop
Starting point is 00:57:46 Beverly Hills Cop oh that's a great one it isn't easy being that good but kind of close yeah but I said Gilbert Grave was close just because it's another title with four words see
Starting point is 00:58:03 my favorite genre of movie. Four word titles. It begins with WH. White men can't jump. Of course. White men can't jump. Yeah. Now we're getting somewhere.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Ken's going to get this one. I doubt it. The tagline is, 2019, a game nobody survives. That is the running man. That is the running man. You cut me off before I even got... You got to wait till the end of...
Starting point is 00:58:36 Wait, there's more to the tagline? Before you can buzz in. Sorry. Yeah. No, this year might be the exception. Was the end of that tagline. I feel like it was stronger without this year might be the exception. Was the end of that tagline. I feel like it was stronger without this year might be the exception. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:49 But also, I just love 2019, a game nobody survives, because we did it. We're here. All right, so Ken's on the board. He's got one. So we start with Jonathan. This is your chance to jump in, Jonathan. 50 million people watched, but no one saw a thing. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:59:11 50 million people watched, but no one saw a thing. It's on Jonathan. The Academy Awards. He's the only one. 50 million people had The Purge is my guess which I haven't seen no
Starting point is 00:59:29 yeah more people than that would watch The Purge I mean if it was a thing throughout the entire country Drew what do you think it is? oh man
Starting point is 00:59:41 I have no idea good answer no I literally have no idea. Good answer. No, I literally have no idea. Yeah. It's tough. Doug? Now you see me, now you don't.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Is that the movie? Fifty million people watched, but no one saw a thing. Isn't that like a heist movie? Or Hollow Man. Or the upcoming Invisible Man with Elizabeth Moss. Ken? Bring it home. Is this allowed? Isn't this just quiz show again? What's that?
Starting point is 01:00:11 Isn't this just quiz show again? It's quiz show, yeah, that's right. Ah. I thought I was so clever doing that. Does anyone, Drew, in the hole-in-one game, does anyone ever play it? Like, can you tell that they have the knowledge that you are going to give them a hole-in-two, that they do get a second chance every time?
Starting point is 01:00:35 No. I always feel so bad for those people because that first one they're going to miss because they're so nervous. Yeah. And then you give them a second one and that's exciting but now you only still you just have the one chance.
Starting point is 01:00:50 And I like when you get up there and knock it in. I've made like two putts in 13 years. But you always try. I always try. I love that. I love it. Alright. Ken's got two so chances are you guys aren't gonna catch up. He's a Jeopardy champion. It's try. I love that. I love it. All right. Ken's got two, so chances are you guys aren't going to catch up.
Starting point is 01:01:07 He's a Jeopardy champion. It's true. It really did come at you strong. Can you imagine a Champions episode of Price is Right? Yeah, I would love to do a Champions episode of the Price is Right. I've pitched it. People are so good at it. They're so good at spinning a wheel.
Starting point is 01:01:27 Also, spinning the wheel, you say it's got to go around once. At least once to count. Yeah, but sometimes does it fall a little short and you just go, whatever. These older ladies are not going to get this thing to go around. I say that spin doesn't count. It has to go around at least once. And we give them another chance
Starting point is 01:01:42 and then I ask, do you want me to help you? And then I'll help them out. But some of that doesn't get on tv uh i don't know i don't watch it you've seen it once i never watched the show but you've seen it once why watch it again that's what people yeah i was already there you were and i don't like watching myself on tv so yeah okay i really hate watching myself. I love watching you on TV. I'm like 80% of America. Statistically speaking. I'll just take the Hitler stuff down a notch.
Starting point is 01:02:30 he's a good host but too into hitler okay jonathan is this on you okay okay love and money you have mixed them both i don't know what the hell that's about. That's it? Love and money? I probably wrote it down wrong. No, that is the accurate tagline. Love and money. You have mixed them both. Oh, God. I know, right?
Starting point is 01:02:59 Money ball? Good guess. Drew? We have figured out that all these movies have game shows in them. Right? No. I'm willing to bet no. Did you know White Man Can Jump has a ton of Jeopardy in it? Because Rosie Perez's character is a Jeopardy champion in the movie.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Foods that start with Q. Yeah. And Magnolia, of course, the little boy in the movie, is a genius, and he's on one of those really smarty-pants game shows. And this movie. Thanks for waiting until after I answered for the clue. I appreciate that. Is it the one where the guy is on the game show in India
Starting point is 01:03:39 and he cheats, whatever that one is? What's the name of that one? You can't ask them? He's used to Price is Right, where they could turn to the audience and get the answer. You know what I'm talking about. The one where they fix the game show and they give you the answers. Yeah, yeah. And it's called something.
Starting point is 01:03:55 What is it called? Doug is next. He'll get the point if you can't figure it out. I can't remember the name of the movie. Do you know what it is, Doug? But you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. Oh, what is it is, Doug? Yeah. Slumdog Millionaire.
Starting point is 01:04:07 That's right. Slumdog Millionaire. That's the one. We should share that point. Well, I want to sleep well at night. Because technically I had it. And all you guys know this one. may the odds be ever in your favor is it my turn no i'm just saying you all know that one that's correct we do yeah yeah oh yeah that's an easy one yeah okay whatever next one no that's the end of that game. Ken is the winner, but we do have one more game to play,
Starting point is 01:04:47 and this will determine who goes on with all the stuff. It's called Last Woman Stanton, and I'm going to get the name from a preselected audience member of an actress, and then all of us, including myself, I like to play along in this one. We're going to take turns naming movies that actress has been in. If you can't think of one
Starting point is 01:05:10 when it's your turn, you can go to your lifeline, which is the name tag you chose. You can go to that person once to try and stay in the game, but whoever lasts the longest is the winner, and whoever you play for gets all the prizes. Yeah, let's do it.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Drew, you're looking at me like how people look at you when you explain the games on the show where they just cannot believe that they're standing next to Drew Carey and they're not listening to a word that you're saying. They're just like,
Starting point is 01:05:44 when do I lift him up again? Do you... My wife still hasn't spoken since then. My wife! She's catatonic. She's at home shaking. She can't remember anything that happened when she was on the stage.
Starting point is 01:05:59 It's crazy. She could look at the tape. Do you guys have it on tape? Yeah we watched it Where is heavy W8 underscore beagle Of course he's right there He's the guy that got selected
Starting point is 01:06:17 Yeah that's what happens He got selected randomly And yet here he is Right up up front, ready to go. Give us a name, sir. Catherine O'Hara. Catherine O'Hara, the great Catherine O'Hara. Does not match the name that I have in my wallet! So I will hang on.
Starting point is 01:06:38 I mean, I'll give the pin to the prize bag. It went in, right? Okay. How do you feel, guys? Feeling strong about this? Catherine O'Hara movies? Nightmare Before Christmas. Are you first?
Starting point is 01:06:56 I don't know. Clearly you don't. No, it's... Who won the last game Ken right Yeah so we start with Ken Nightmare Before No I'm just kidding
Starting point is 01:07:12 I would not Would I do that to America's Sweetheart Drew Carey No I don't think so No he's gonna let you have it What do you got instead I will say
Starting point is 01:07:20 Home Alone Very good I'm gonna go for it I'm gonna say Home Alone. Very good. I'm going to go for it. I'm going to say Home Alone 2, Lost in New York. I'm very proud that I know that whole title. Beetlejuice. Doug says Beetlejuice.
Starting point is 01:07:36 Beetlejuice. Nightmare Before Christmas. What kind of nightmare was it? You know, it was like a skeleton or whatever. But it was just nightmare before Christmas? There was no word before nightmare? The nightmare before Christmas?
Starting point is 01:08:04 Was it? Is it that specific? The Nightmare Before Christmas? I think so. I don't know. Jonathan? Best in show. Ken? A Mighty
Starting point is 01:08:22 Wind. Yeah. Waiting for Kaufman. Best in show two. Now, can I do my lifeline? Doug's going to his lifeline. Patrick, you got one? Patrick, you can do this.
Starting point is 01:08:39 You have a giant thing of Brie Larson in your apartment. Somebody's sitting next to Patricked it in his ear. That's his lifeline. Nothing, Patrick? No, sorry. All right. There you go. Fuck.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Another Christopher Guest movie that I'm blanking on? Do you want to do a street call out? That's where you run out onto the street. Ask people if they know Catherine O'Hara movies. And you'll just be standing there out there listening to them name all the ones we've already named.
Starting point is 01:09:23 Fuck. Alright, Doug's out. Oh, I know. Doug out. So sad. I'm not gonna repeat that. I'm not gonna dignify that. Drew?
Starting point is 01:09:40 Was she... Did SCTV make a movie? They should have. Oh, okay. Well then, Chris? You know anyone? Lifeline Chris? Was she Did SCTV make a movie They should have Oh okay well then Chris You know anyone Lifeline Chris You guys knew all the same ones That I did
Starting point is 01:09:50 Yeah right Hey Chris Really nailed those cats Go fuck yourself Chris Thanks for nothing motherfucker That's from Drew Carey To you bitch Oh my goodness
Starting point is 01:10:04 Oh Wow Daytimes on CBS Drew Carey to you, bitch. Oh my goodness. Daytimes on CBS. Yeah. Be sure to watch the special Valentine's Day edition this Friday. All this week on Let's Make a Deal, people are proposing marriage. They are all week, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Can you tell us, does it flip? Like, does a woman propose to a man at any point? Or is there a gay couple? There's all kinds of couples. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. Tune in to watch. Okay.
Starting point is 01:10:34 Yeah. On Price is Right, we fix people up on their first date, and their first date is meeting up in Bitter's Row and playing on the Price is Right. Whoa. Yeah. That's going to be adorable. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:46 Well, until they lose the game. Then they don't get along. Very well. On Fart Safari, I tell fart jokes. Exclusively? Or do you get a couple other topics in there? There's a few other. Okay, good.
Starting point is 01:11:02 Come on, baby. It's a fart safari. Come on, baby. It's a fart safari. Come on, baby, it's a fart safari. Oh, my God, that's wonderful. Whose turn is it? Jonathan? I believe she was number one mom in Quiz Show. What?
Starting point is 01:11:21 Go to your lifeline. I'm going to my lifeline. Kate, please help me. Can you think of a... Ken, for your consideration. Ah, that was mine, Kate. For your consideration. For your consideration.
Starting point is 01:11:30 Good job, Kate. It is. Kate, you're killing me. Yeah. I think that might have been my last one. Oh, Ken might have to go to his lifeline. Wow. Goats need help, too. The mighty Jeopardy go to his lifeline. Goats need help, too.
Starting point is 01:11:48 The mighty Jeopardy! champion needs a lifeline. It's humiliating. I thought you didn't do impressions. No. I'm the timpani drum from Jeopardy. Yeah, I guess I'm going to Ian. Ian, do you have anything? You're over here somewhere, right?
Starting point is 01:12:15 Where's Ian? She's the voice in Frankenweenie? I mean, that's probably true, right? Sounds legit. Yeah, people are agreeing in the audience. I think that's right. Yeah, so you're still in it. Ian, you're my audience. I think that's right. Ian, you're in my hero. Not like Kate. Yay.
Starting point is 01:12:32 Corpse Bride? No, he doesn't know. I'm out. Maybe. Jonathan? She was in Corpse Bride? Okay, I'm still in. I can't go to the audience anymore.
Starting point is 01:12:43 I think she had a small part In planes, trains, and automobiles What do you think she did? Number one, mom I don't think so It just feels like No I think you're wrong No
Starting point is 01:12:59 Somebody's yelling over there She's in it? No That was just somebody Nobody has a phone Waiting in line for the restroom Whoa. Somebody's yelling over there. She's in it? No. That was just somebody waiting in line for the restroom. Look at my fucking phone. I like to keep it organic and just, you know,
Starting point is 01:13:13 talk to the corrections department later. It was a guess. Yeah, I don't think she's in it. Human centipede? Was she in that? Which end? She's right in the middle. Oh. Ken?
Starting point is 01:13:33 I think I might be out Uncle Buck? Is she in Uncle Buck? No No But I'm so excited to call myself the winner Yeah
Starting point is 01:13:40 On this particular edition But the prizes are going to the person that Ken was playing for. Congratulations. Sorry, Chris. Everybody did great. Yeah, that was super fun.
Starting point is 01:13:54 Let's do some plugs. Doug, besides the album, what else you got going on? Besides Fart Safari 3 dropping soon, I got a sports podcast called 69th Base. So check that out. Oh, and I'll be headlining the Velveeta Room
Starting point is 01:14:11 at the end of the month in Austin, February 28th. We love Austin, Texas. I do. I'll be there for South By. Yeah. Super psyched.
Starting point is 01:14:19 Thanks, dude. Yeah, thank you. Drew Carey. I have a radio show every Friday night on Little Stevens Underground Garage where I play rock and roll music for threey. I have a radio show every Friday night on Little Stephen's Underground Garage where I play rock and roll music for three hours. I've been doing it weekly for about a year and a half,
Starting point is 01:14:31 monthly for about ten years. So I'm doing it weekly now, and it's called The Friday Night Freakout. Serious Channel 21. Yes. And that game show thing, too. Yeah. If you like rock and roll music, it's great.
Starting point is 01:14:44 The game show is, yeah. If you like rock and roll music, it's great. The game show is, yeah. If you like pricing items, listen to the radio show. I also, I also taped Celebrity Family Feud on Sunday. But I can't tell you
Starting point is 01:14:55 how it turned out. And you brought your whole family on? No, I just brought friends of mine. Blink Apache and Brendan Walsh.
Starting point is 01:15:02 That's awesome. I love it. That sounds hilarious. When's it going to be on? Sometime in the summer, they said. Is that allowed on Family Feud? You can just be like, I don't get along with my sister. I'm bringing on Blaine Kapach. Celebrity version, you pick your own family. Yeah, we went up against
Starting point is 01:15:16 Kevin Nealon. I thought you meant, is Brendan Walsh allowed on Family Feud? Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't seem like he should be. I like how Drew's like, yeah I don't know doesn't seem like he should be no I like how Drew's like celebrities only
Starting point is 01:15:29 normal people have to bring their shitty relatives but celebrities you can pick whoever you want yeah you can pick your friends
Starting point is 01:15:35 Jonathan so let's make a deal every day whose line is it anyway from time to time and there's a movie that I did I never get to do drama
Starting point is 01:15:44 so I did this drama movie, this psychological thriller that is now available for rent on the Amazon and iTunes called A Patient Man. A Hitchcockian, creepy drama. It's really fun. I apologize for not asking you more about that earlier in the show, because that's why you're here, to
Starting point is 01:15:59 plug that movie. Oops. plug that movie. What? We're, we're, we're, oops. Yeah. Bum, ba-dum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
Starting point is 01:16:09 bum, bum. He plays number one mom. That's right. I didn't think those bad moms were that bad.
Starting point is 01:16:22 So, in other news, but thank you for being here and where can they see the movie again? It's on Amazon Prime or iTunes,
Starting point is 01:16:32 A Patient Man. All right. Included on Amazon? Say it again? Included with Amazon? No, you have to pay if you have Amazon. You get it for $4.99
Starting point is 01:16:40 or something like that to watch it. Forget it then. Thanks a lot, friend of 20 years. Just Amazon. $4.99 or something like that to watch it. Forget it then. Thanks a lot, friend of 20 years. Just Amazon. I've known you for 20 years. When you're all fucked up and
Starting point is 01:16:53 scrolling through Amazon, you get excited about a movie and then it's not included with Prime. There's a charge for it. I'm like, I get it anyway. I usually turn down movie offers when I know people will have to pay. Yeah, you shouldn't have done this movie, man. I shouldn't have done it.
Starting point is 01:17:10 I should have really known what I was going to have to do. Could you only do free movies, please? Only do free movies. It's time to give back. Only do old movies that people don't want to pay to see anymore. They've become free movies. Will this be on a plane free? Okay.
Starting point is 01:17:26 Ken, what about you? What's coming up? I'm at Ken Jennings on Twitter. I'm on upcoming GSN quiz show called Masterminds. I'm one of the masterminds. Is that the British show?
Starting point is 01:17:39 It is not, sadly. It's Masterminds, plural. But boy, that British, Mastermind is a great format. What a hard show. I didn't even know what subjects they were talking about
Starting point is 01:17:45 it's this British show where at the end they're like pick your subject and it'll be like Jacobian right there drum
Starting point is 01:17:54 poetry or whatever the answer's always Manchester United though no matter what the question is I'm the author of Planet Funny a book about American comedy culture.
Starting point is 01:18:07 Doug Benson and Doug Loves Movies makes a cameo appearance. I like cameoing in a book. Don't read too fast or you'll miss me. And my own podcast is called Omnibus. I do it with musician John Roderick, and we look at weird, weird stories from human culture and history
Starting point is 01:18:33 that we want to pass along to the post-human residents of a hypothetical future post-apocalyptic Earth. Wow. All right. The crowd is like, wow. Oh, what a dark motherfucker you are. Wow. Oh, and also dark motherfucker you are. Wow.
Starting point is 01:18:45 Oh, and also for $200, you can watch me pee my pants. I forgot to plug that. I'll be at DNA's Comedy Lab in Santa Cruz on Saturday, March 7th at 4.20, doing stand-up with a couple of my stand-up pals. It should be a lot of fun. And this was a lot of fun. Thank you guys for coming out. Where's the prize winner?
Starting point is 01:19:12 Come get your stuff, Ian. Life of Ian. Come grab all your things. Congratulations. Good job. That wasn't him him no ID or anything that was just another guy came and grabbed
Starting point is 01:19:31 all the shit one more time for Doug Mellor Drew Carey Jonathan Mangum and Ken Jennings Reed Larson
Starting point is 01:19:39 as always positive energy now it's time for Doug to watch another talky Eyes of Gold is viewing As always, positive energy.

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