Doug Loves Movies - Drew Carey, Ken Jennings, Jonathan Mangum and Doug Mellard guest
Episode Date: February 12, 2020Back home at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Drew Carey, Ken Jennings, Jonathan Mangum and Doug Mellard to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. F...or a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Oh, that was perfect.
Did you guys hear the San Antonio show?
Yeah.
Yeah, they were not good at that.
And they were even worse at the other thing.
Yeah, the other shout-out was a mess.
So places I'm coming to on the road, get it together. at the other thing. The other shout-out was a mess.
So places I'm coming to on the road, get it together.
Like they do here
in Los Angeles.
You guys know the chants, you just don't make name tags.
Once again,
we are at the Upright Citizens Brigade
Theater in Los Angeles, California!
You guys know when to clap
it's awesome it's Tuesday
February 11th 2019
and speaking of
UCB Douglas movies will
be coming for the first time
to the UCB New York
Hell's Kitchen location
on Saturday yeah
who is fucking right
on Saturday April 4th at 10.30 p.m.
Yeah.
I think there'll be some awesome name tags there.
This is so stupid.
Speaking of name tags,
what have you guys got, L.A.?
I see one up here in front that I like a lot.
It's got a lot of Tito's and soda on it.
And it says Beagle.
What does that mean?
It's my last name.
Your last name's Beagle?
But what movie is it a parody of?
Beagle and the Hendersons.
Beagle and the Hendersons.
Okay.
Can't believe I didn't get that right away.
What's wrong with me?
I feel good about your chances of getting chosen though Because you're the only framed one
With a bunch of Tito's on it
And then we've got
Is that a Coco poster up there?
Yeah
And what did you change it to?
Yair
Instead of Coco
These puns are incredible
That you guys are coming up with Yair instead of Coco. These puns are incredible.
That you guys are coming up with.
Why don't you just pick a movie that has one word in the title,
change it, oh, I guess that's what you did.
What's this big red one up here?
Yeah, what does it say?
Vampires Chris.
Vampires Chris.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, people are going wild for that one. Okay, we got enough. Okay, yeah. Yeah, people are going wild for that one.
Okay, we got enough.
Okay, good.
Oh, there's a big one up there.
All right.
Good job, everybody.
And good luck.
Doug Plugs.
Oh, this is exciting.
You know it's true because I wrote down,
oh, this is exciting.
I'm doing a stand-up show at the Improv in Tampa, Florida on Thursday, February 27th.
That's not the exciting part.
I mean, it is exciting.
But we're going to play a game from Doug Lowe's movies,
probably Last Woman Stanton,
with every audience member who brings a name tag to the show.
And the winner that day can be, they have the option, I don't know if they want to go all the way tag to the show. And the winner that day can be,
they have the option,
I don't know if they want to go all the way over to Orlando,
but they have the option to be a guest
on Douglas Movies at the Orlando Improv
on Sunday, March 1st at 7 p.m.
It's a great way to trick, I mean,
encourage people to come to both shows.
For more info, go to
Douglovesmovies.com
That's Douglovesmovies.com
Yeah!
Click on!
Wallet!
Shh!
Ted Danson?
Yeah!
Miss Piggy doesn't go there.
Miss Piggy goes when I say we're going to play Doug Loves Muppets
see that's where that goes
you fucking tricked me
announcement
Doug Loves Movies has a Twitter account now
yes go to Doug Loves Movies has a Twitter account now yes
go to
at Doug Loves Movies
for all
well not all
of your Doug Loves Movies
needs
but some of them
and then that way
I can free up
my regular Twitter
for more
more weed jokes
and
and
yeah
we'll see
we'll see how that goes
I feel like it's too much work having one account
let's get my
guests out here there's been lots of great
women on the show
over the last few months but finally
we're back to a panel
of all men
how God intended
uh
but they're great ones
and there's kind of a theme.
Please give it up everybody
for Jonathan Mangum, Ken Jennings,
Doug Mellard, and
Drew Carey!
Oh boy! Come on down
everybody!
You're the next contestants on Doug Loves Smoothies.
Hey, guys.
Grab your microphones, and we're off and running. Let's say hello to them individually.
Starting with, we have two first-time guests on the show.
Let's meet them alphabetically, shall we?
As I work that out in my head.
Drew Carey is here, everybody!
How you doing?
This is the hoodie I had to wear
when I did Masked Singer.
Whenever I'd show up at Masked Singer,
I had a visor like the chick that fucked
the owner of the Clippers wore.
I can't remember her name.
Wow, you're great at talking charades.
And this visor,
and that's how I had to come out in the lot and everything
so nobody knew who I was.
So I thought I'd wear it here yeah it says
don't talk to me
yeah
yeah
so now you just wear it
all the time
that's my favorite
hoodie now
it must be a real
conversation starter
nope
don't talk to me
does it say
it's a hoodie
does it say
does the hood
say anything on it
no
it just says like a pair of eyes or something?
No
But thank you for being here
And for being awesome on Price is Right
Thank you for the money
In our homes every day
Except for when presidents are being impeached
It was a rough period for me
Because
Price is I was
Postponed for the news
Pretty much every day
We get a lot of complaints when that happens
Yeah, like it's your fault
You're the reason the government
Is having problems
It needs to be on TV all day
Hey man, you never know
Freaking government
You don't know what I do Yeah, government. You don't know what I do.
Yeah, you're a real...
You don't know what the best...
I'm Q. I'm the guy. I'm the guy.
Plinko is some real deep state shit.
Oh, also I should mention
the theme tonight is game shows.
And also joining us is the very awesome announcer for Let's Make a Deal.
It's Jonathan Mangum, everybody.
Thanks.
Thank you.
This is actually the jacket that I wore here tonight.
Oh, okay.
It says, don't talk to me without words.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
But thanks for being here, dude.
We've never met, to my knowledge.
We have not, but I'm a big fan, so thanks for having me.
Well, thank you so much.
Yeah, I was very excited to see.
I believe this happened because of a publicist reaching out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like I said, I'm a huge game show fan.
And strangely, Let's Make a Deal on
impeachment day, a lot of the days you get to watch
all of that. And then
Price is Right would come on and then suddenly
the, you know, what's her name?
Nora O'Donnell would show up on the screen
and be like, impeachment guys!
Let's talk about it.
All day. CBS has priorities
like which shows
they like better
oh I see
so
no offense
don't talk to him
don't talk to him
but
alright
you're throwing down
another challenge here
are you good at movie trivia
kind of stuff
any movie
before 1984
that's about Star Wars
if it's
if it's Star Wars
and before 84
I know it
well. Okay. Well,
tonight, you guys should be fine
because you're only going up against
the greatest Jeopardy
contestant of all time.
It's that
motherfucking goat, Ken Jennings!
Hey, guys. Hey, Doug.
Already not forming things as a question I'm retired
I don't do that shtick anymore
What is I'm retired
Yeah, you've done it all
I mean now
Will there be another tournament that they'll ask you to do
Or as greatest of all time
Do you just get to say no
I'm the greatest of all time do or as greatest of all time do you just get to say no, I'm the greatest of all time?
It seems like it must be
it's the greatest of all times.
Yeah.
Not just some current time.
Plural.
Plural times.
All times.
Yeah.
So it seems like it would be
a lifetime appointment
like Pope or Drew Carey.
When they were able to take
all your memory and brain
and put it into a chip after you die,
that's going to be awesome.
Yeah, live long enough for that to be a thing.
Is it going to have all my personal memories?
I hope so.
We get to see Hologram U play Jeopardy.
What a boring episode of Black Mirror that would be.
The last time you were on this show,
it was in Seattle in December,
and I was... You had a little secret there.
I was well aware that he won
the whole tournament of all times
because I went to the taping
the week before here in Los Angeles,
and they made me sign an NDA for a million dollars
to not say anything about it.
And then I got high and did a podcast
where I'm talking to Ken for like 90 minutes.
And I know that he is the goat.
And I didn't say shit.
I got through it.
You were so good.
I didn't even fucking hint at knowing or anything.
Like, it was just, hey, Ken, I guess you're going to do that tournament soon.
Good luck.
It's the same as the prize for the tournament.
It was a million-dollar purse.
So they could have financed the whole tournament if you had just screwed up on your podcast.
So, yeah, let's say I messed up.
Would you have loaned me the million
since you have it laying around
minus all that taxes?
Sure.
Sure, absolutely, Doug.
Do they, does Jeopardy,
not to get too personal,
but does Jeopardy just cut you a check
and you worry about the taxes
or do they have to take it out?
They deduct,
super interesting answer,
they deduct California state tax, weirdly, but not federal so you can you can still do the richard hatch from
survivor thing where you think oh i just won't pay federal tax and see what happens and what
happens is you will go to federal prison but it's not they don't take it off off the top
they think if you're smart enough to win on Jeopardy,
you can either pay your taxes or figure out how to cheat the IRS.
I won $1,000 on Scrabble.
Chuck Woolery counted it off into my hand, that gag.
And yeah, they just send you a check for the full $1,000,
and they're like, you work out the tax thing.
And I'll say this right now publicly,
probably never paid a dime of taxes on that.
And to complete the game show theme,
I'm so excited about our fourth guest tonight
because his wife...
My wife.
That's not how that works.
She was a contestant on Price is Right?
That's right.
It's Doug Mallard, everybody.
Hello, everybody.
This is the shirt I wore when Drew was on Masked Singer
and I was watching.
Oh, okay.
Says Ryan fucking Bingham.
It has nothing to do with anything
except ryan bingham yeah who's like a country artist yeah he's really good he was in crazy
heart yeah oh he was yeah yeah all right cool i'm sorry that you guys don't have any beverages
is everybody all right because we we could we could have arranged we can all split we could
arrange that yeah just share doug's water water. Wait, so what'd she win?
Like a living room set?
She won an iPad, and she won a home spa, and an automatic dog feeder, and then almost won
a car, but didn't win the car.
Oh, let me guess why she didn't win the car, because she didn't know what the price was
in cents.
She didn't know it was 43 cents at the end.
It was a game where you had to jump on the numbers in order of...
What did you say the game was?
It's called Pathfinder.
Pathfinder, yeah, that is.
It's the bane of her existence now.
And after the show, she immediately was so apologetic to me.
She's like, I should have won that card,
and so I've just been fake mad at her ever since.
I'm like, you bitch.
What's the one called with the mountain climber?
I call it the Yoda League I game, but it's called...
It's called...
Cliffhangers.
Mountain climbers.
Something like that.
What is it called?
Cliffhangers.
Cliffhangers.
I don't know why I'm asking questions and looking at anybody but Ken.
I never call it cliffhangers.
Oh, I know I do when I walk up
because it says it on top of it.
There we go. And then the whole
rest of the time I'm like, yodeling guy, yodeling guy, yodeling
guy. And then I always call it the yodeling
guy game backstage. I never call it cliffhangers.
But the people that have lost at that game,
him just going over the edge must
be like haunt them. It must be in
their dreams. Yeah.
Anytime they hear yodeling if you're
ever on price is right no matter what we show you on cliffhangers say 25 35 45 and you'll never lose
that game wow should you be telling the public this information i tell the audience every time
after the game and people in the audience that watch the show are always yelling out $25 $35
because that's the price range
or you can yell
$20, $30, $40
but they ultimately
don't follow your advice
because they think
you're just saying that
I tell them after the game
oh after
how to play it
if they mess up
here's where you fucked up
yeah
yeah I do
and then
I'm like a sports commentator
after the game
and then on 10 on a game called 10 chances all the prices end in zero Yeah, I do. I'm like a sports commentator after the game.
And then on a game called Ten Chances,
all the prices end in zero.
But I'm not allowed to tell them that, but I can tell them at the end of the game.
Oh, man.
And now, apparently.
I wish more people knew.
So many of these people
are going to be lined up on Fairfax tomorrow.
Wearing their Pick Me Drew shirts.
I love that show so much.
And Let's Make a Deal.
And Jeopardy.
And Doug is here.
Let's talk prize bag.
Let's talk what people brought.
I brought a bunch of stuff.
Let's start with you, Doug.
It looks like I called you very last minute for this.
Apologies to anyone who was excited
that Zach Galifianakis was going to be here tonight.
But he had to work late,
so he wasn't able to make it.
I don't believe he has a job,
but that's what he said.
They wouldn't have known he was going to
be here, right? Oh, no. I leaked it today.
Oh, gotcha. I brought
an album called He Touched Me
on vinyl.
I don't know what that's about, but
it doesn't sound good.
Oh, it's like a gospel
record. Oh, bummer.
Yeah.
Yeah, you were really hoping for some sort of how-to man
yeah how to that was about my uncle
i brought my download card for my new album fart safari 2 fart harder
thank you yeah for anyone wondering there is a fart safari one. Yeah, and three's coming. And then I got a fart safari t-shirt. Wow.
Isn't that a Beach Boys song?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, baby, it's a fart safari.
Come on, baby, it's a fart safari.
I'm going to have to use that sound clip now.
And then I brought a burrito for President 2020 t-shirt.
That's it.
That's it?
That's amazing. Great. That's it. That's it? That's amazing.
That's some good stuff.
I'll do my things one at a time
in between each guest.
I was in Vegas recently, so I grabbed a copy
of Las Vegas Magazine.
What do you have, Drew?
I have
two autographed by me
Price is Right coffee mugs.
And I also have autographed by me Price is Right coffee mugs. And I also have autographed by me Price is Right magnets.
There are three of them.
And I have an autographed by me Price is Right cap.
All right.
I'd like one of the magnets.
All right.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I'm really proud of my magnets on my refrigerator so this is going to be a nice addition
and you know that way everything's in pairs
but just the one hat though so if you win
your loved one's going to have to
live with the fact that there's only one hat
you can pass it down this way
I'll put it in my bag over here
but those are terrific
thank you so much for bringing that
I had a PA
who grabbed it for me today.
Well, I'm sorry.
How often, Drew,
do you jump up there
and plinko?
How often have you
spun the wheel?
Do you feel like you're good
at spinning the wheel?
Yeah, when I first got the job,
we would rehearse the games
and I would spin the wheel
constantly and now
I don't ever do it at all.
But I know, oh, plinko, you have to drop it right in the center, we would rehearse the games and I would spin the wheel constantly and now I don't ever do it at all. But I know,
oh, Plinko, you have to drop it right
in the center, like right over
the top. And don't
spin it, just let it go.
And that gives you the best chance of hitting the
center $10,000.
But don't bring it over here, don't bring it over here, don't bring it too
high, don't put English on it.
Right
in the center.
So it's like if this was the thing
like right here
and then just let it go
that's the best chance
of getting the 10,000
I wish I could give hints
about let's make a deal
but it's all like
it's a box or a curtain
I know
that's all there is
there's no
hey listen
pick one
pick one
you know
do your best.
That's what drives me crazy is when people in the audience
in that show have such firm opinions about which one they should pick.
Absolutely.
It's the card on.
Yeah.
You don't know.
Calm down.
On Jeopardy, it's always Bulgaria.
When in doubt, Bulgaria.
Just say Bulgaria
And don't put a spin on it
I also got a bunch of stuff
From a company that makes glass pipes
And stuff recently
But they sent me a hat
That's got the California bear on it
But it also says the name of the company
Which is Mav I don't know, the whole hat's a little too hat that's like got the california bear on it but it also says the name of the company which is mav
and it i don't know the whole hat's a little too i wouldn't wear it in public but uh
but you should but yeah if you like having fun if you like having people coaching you
what's with that fucking hat the red brim's a little much. Jonathan?
Yeah, so if you guys remember back in like 99 to 2005,
the way that movies used to market themselves is they used to have postcards.
These big old vats of postcards. You couldn't go to a urinal without like 30 postcards, right?
So I used to collect them.
So I brought, because your podcast is about movies,
I brought some cool movie postcards that I have collected from 20 years ago.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, freaking amazing movie.
Being John Malkovich, freaking amazing movie.
Starship Troopers, a movie.
Could you guys hold your applause until the end of the...
Kids in the Hall Brain Candy.
Yeah, love Kids in the Hall.
And then, of course, the coup de grace.
Showgirls.
Showgirls.
Yeah. I can't believe you're giving up all of those how many do you but you still have plenty in your collection i've got
like 30 of each so we're good okay that's right too that's the kind of thing when you'd see them
you'd grab more than one yeah you're never gonna use any of them but you grab. I love that. Thank you. Sure. This is a thing where it's like a lollipop, but after you eat it, I guess it's got THC in it.
After you eat it, you can bury the rest of it and a weed will grow.
Do you have to click your heels together?
I think it takes more than just sticking you know, sticking it in the ground.
I think it really is, you've got to have a...
Hey, freshman.
A green thumb.
Take this lollipop and plant it.
It's grown to a weed plant.
Really?
All right.
Why is there a four-year-old at that high school?
Smart four-year-old.
And then I've got
from Rockin' Pins, a beautiful
Doug Benson pin
that won't go in the prize
bag tonight if somebody matches me later
and you know what. But let's
go down here to Ken and see
what he brought for the bag.
I actually forgot to bring
something on this trip. Well, you travel, you know.
You live in the Pacific Northwest.
And I'm retired from remembering things, as I mentioned.
Sure. But I'm down here doing a show
for GSN, the Game Show Network, and my
friends at GSN hooked me up with
some kind of Game Show Network
microfiber something. It's a blanket.
I don't know what it is.
Wow.
Toreador cape. I don't know what this is. Wow. And Toreador cape? I don't know what this is.
And a tote bag.
It's got a weird texture to it.
It's like a future towel.
It's like something you got
after you donated to the Game Show Network.
They have a public radio
model at the Game Show Network.
Did it come in a Game Show Network tote?
At the $200 level, you do get a Game Show Network tote? At the $200 level,
you do get this
Game Show Network
tote.
They're really
struggling.
And some crunchy
and wholesome
popcorn snack.
And really,
the piece de
resistance here is
a giant foam figure
from a failed
Caroline Ray game
show that was on the
Game Show Network at some point.
And Drew Carey will sign it.
That's a great one.
I love stuff like that.
Yeah, let's definitely get everybody's signature
on that.
And if you bury that, it grows into a plant also.
It grows into a Caroline Ray.
It grows into a Caroline Ray.
You got to be good to it
or it'll give you a different finger.
This is great.
Oh my god.
Thank you, Ken.
All of this stuff
is going in the bag tonight,
but before we get to the games,
I have a couple of quick questions for everybody.
Ken, in any format, what was the last movie you saw?
Having done this show like a dozen times,
of course I was ready for this question
and can immediately...
Oh, I saw that crazy Nicolas Cage movie,
Color Out of Space.
I went down to the Arclight, the Cinerama Dome,
and saw...
Color Out of Space.
Do you notice it's like Mandy?
It's one of these kind of crazy,
florid, heavy metal kind of things,
but it's a Lovecraft short story,
and it's just Nicolas Cage just going crazy,
but this time because
aliens or monsters
or ancient aliens or something are invading
his farmhouse.
It's a documentary.
It's very
colorful like people have
suggested it's a good motion
picture to see while you're tripping.
I wouldn't say that.
I don't think anyone who listens to these shows... It does feel like you're tripping even if you're not watching it.
It's pretty psychedelic.
It's as close as I get to
hallucination is a crazy Nick Cage movie.
Yeah, and it's got some really weird
violence and makeup effects
and stuff. You saw it?
Yeah, I liked it. It's an H.P. Lovecraft
thing. If you like racist horror
of the 1920s.
I liked it. It's a H.P. Lovecraft thing.
If you like racist horror of the 1920s.
Which who doesn't, right?
Yeah. Alright, Jonathan.
Here comes that hardball question. Last movie you saw.
So my kids are old enough now. They're 13 and 16. So they're old enough now that
I feel like I can watch rated R movies with them
and not feel so uncomfortable.
So we watched Lethal Weapon.
The movie. And I found outhal Weapon, the movie.
And I found out it's also, like Die Hard,
it's also a Christmas movie, which I did not remember.
Yeah, it's all Christmassy stuff the whole time.
And there's more Mel Gibson ass than boob in Lethal Weapon,
which I noticed, and my kids did too,
and told me about it.
Also, the first scene has Danny Glover in the bathtub
one of the first scenes and his whole family comes
in to hang out while he's taking a bath.
It's the weirdest thing. That's a weird family
to me. Yeah that's weird
and then also one of the greatest
continuity things of all time is
when Mel Gibson
falls into the pool.
He falls into it with a guy and they struggle
on the pool cover and stuff.
When he gets out, his boots
are just sitting by the side of the pool
like he had taken the time to take
them off when he did not know
he was about to fall into a pool.
I guess when you get close to a pool,
you probably take your boots off.
You would.
They just cut that scene.
It was a four minute boot off scene.
There was a lot of dialogue.
Yeah, instead of rolling
up their sleeves
and spitting in their hands,
they're just taking off
their boots
before they fight
into the pool.
Okay, so
that's a good one.
Drew, what about you?
The last movie you saw.
On Sunday,
I watched Jojo Rabbit
for the second time
because I love Hitler.
I mean,
he has a really lovable Hitler
in that movie,
but,
you know,
also annoying.
So,
it works out
in the end.
I've seen...
I saw 1917 six times.
Does that mean anything?
Wait, so you've seen
11,478?
Is that really
the number?
Oh my God, if that had really been the number...
Holy crap.
Fuck you, man.
Fuck you.
I'll put up with this.
What do you think you liked that movie so much?
1917?
I loved it.
And then I watched like 20 hours of World War I documentaries.
Oh, okay.
After that.
So I was like really into the whole thing for a while.
And you liked, I suppose you probably liked Dunkirk?
Yeah, it was all right.
No six-timer?
No.
Yeah, that was okay.
What was the most recent movie you've watched in insane,
like way more than six?
Like is there any modern classic to you that you've seen?
Oh, Whiplash.
That was my 20 times I've seen that movie.
That is really rewatchable.
Like really like 20 times.
Something about the tension is there regardless of
when you know where it's going.
First time I saw it, I was at the Arclight,
and I was with somebody, and we didn't know what movie we were going to watch. We just it's going. First time I saw it, I was at the Arclight. And I was with somebody.
And we didn't know what movie we were going to watch.
We just, let's just go and see what's playing.
And I didn't know a thing about it.
And just happened to see the thing.
Yeah, you were just hoping it was about a car accident.
Yeah.
And I saw the award things on it.
And we were like, oh, let's go see that one.
Didn't know anything about it.
Not one thing.
And then I walked in.
And it was.
Uh-oh.
Was that a lie? CBS is saying, don't talk about Hitler anymore.
Don't tell them how to win at Plinko.
I swear my phone's on airplane mode
in my bag.
My kids calling me.
Yeah, but I love that movie.
Yeah.
The first week I kept dragging people to see it. You know who hates it? His musicians love that movie. Yeah. And so then I, like the first week I kept dragging people
to see it and,
you know.
You know who hates it?
His musicians hate that movie
because he's supposed to be
such a great musician teacher
and then there's a scene
in the club
where he's playing
the worst smooth jazz
you've ever heard.
It's just like,
wow.
And then the actor
played his own drums
and he was a good drummer
for an actor
but he's not as good
as a jazz drummer.
Jazz drummers don't think he's,
they think it's a good movie
but they don't think
he's that great of a jazz drummer. Jazz drummers don't think he's... They think it's a good movie but they don't think he's that great of a jazz drummer.
I found out.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Anytime they make a movie about a thing
that people are good at,
the people that are good at it are going to go,
oh, they didn't get that right.
Yeah, yeah.
They fucked that up.
Yeah.
You know, like in What's the Point in Time in Hollywood,
they totally fucked up. Like the actors, you know, kill in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, they totally fucked up.
Like, the actors, you know, kill all those Manson people.
That didn't happen, Doug.
That didn't really happen that way, no.
And the Alamo really has a basement,
so that was all bullshit, too.
Fuck you, Doug!
What was the last movie you saw?
1917, actually.
How many times?
Just the once,
but I will see it again.
I loved it.
Oh my God.
Spectacular.
It's intense.
Yeah.
It made me realize
I don't really know.
I want to watch Document.
I don't know anything about...
We know so much about World War II,
but not one. Oh yeah, World War I fucked up yeah man it's crazy watch 20 hours
of documentaries on it it's amazing how fucked up that did you see that peter jackson movie where
he colorized all the old fantastic right three times i've seen that yeah yeah i don't have a
number for you but yeah i didn't like the job of the hut they added into that, though.
Yeah.
Weird.
The whole time I went to this horrible World War I thing
about all the horrors of World War I,
and the whole time I was like,
what's with their fucking teeth?
Like, there's that Peter Jackson documentary,
just like, wow, they have such fucked up teeth.
But they were, like, walking through bodies,
and, you know...
That'll ruin your teeth.
Yeah.
Why'd they get such fucked up teeth all right well one more question you guys we're running a little behind but i love this
um we'll start with you ken i don't know if i asked you this the last time you were on. What is Bulgaria? Sorry.
Seriously, though,
what is it?
This landlocked Balkan country. People ask
Alex questions all the time. He just moves on.
Imagine if questions
actually worked like that. Like somebody said to you,
what is Bulgaria? And your answer was,
this landlocked Balkan
nation.
Actually, it's the area right in your
crotch. The Bulge
area. Correct?
I didn't know that it was
landlocked or Balkan.
So you got me there.
I think it might not be landlocked, and we're going to get
letters from your geographically astute listeners. They'll be Bulgarian so fuck it. So you got me there. I think it might not be landlady, and we're going to get letters.
From your geographically astute listeners.
They'll be Bulgarian, so fuck it.
This show is translated into no languages.
I like to see if anybody wants to do any impressions.
Have you ever done any impressions on the show, Ken? I never have.
Do you have any? What about
Alex Trebek? Do you do an impression of him?
I don't do Alex. He's a tough impression.
He is? Yeah.
I mean, you can sound slightly Canadian.
Yes. You can say, oh, I'm sorry.
No, no, I'm sorry. Sorry.
Yes, when somebody gets something wrong. Incorrect.
Sorry. And he says the word genre
in a way that is neither the American nor the French pronunciation,
but something of his own invention.
Like he'll say, this genre.
Maybe it's Canadian.
I don't know.
Genre.
Genre.
Genre.
Macabre.
So I don't know if that counts as an impression.
I did and I'm moving on.
That may be wise.
I'm satisfied.
Jonathan, what about you?
I do a Drew Carey impression.
Fuck you, kitten!
Oh, wow.
So vivid.
So real.
Same volume and everything
exactly
that was great
do you really
is that it
that's about it
oh okay
aren't you an announcer
you like work with your voice
huh
that you don't
fuck you Ken
that was me doing me
telling him to go
fuck himself
but that's what I love about
Let's Make a Deal is you and Wayne
you have a lot of fun together
and like, you know, it just
seems like you're both just goofing off and getting
paid. We've been pals since we were teenagers
so we just try to make each other laugh.
And what people don't know is that we say a lot
of really dirty stuff. They say
say whatever you want so we're dropping
F-bombs. We say what makes
each other laugh
and they'll just cut it out.
Yeah.
So we never feel like
we're being held back
or have to do
daytime clean stuff.
Yeah.
It seems like it's super fun.
I want to,
if I may,
can I come to a taping?
Hell yeah, man.
But I'd have to wear a costume.
Yeah, you would.
Okay.
My two go-tos
are Harry Potter
or Andy Warhol.
Okay.
Yeah.
Harry Warhol. Maybe, Yeah. Harry Warhol.
Maybe, yeah.
That might be fun.
Andy Potter.
I could go either way with that.
What about you, Drew?
Do you do any impressions?
Yes.
I do a foghorn leghorn impression.
I love it already.
This is my impression.
One of our greatest stars. This is my impression of foghorn leghorn as the United States government. Foghorn ashorn impression. I love it already. One of our greatest stars.
This is my impression of foghorn leghorn
as the United States government.
Foghorn as the government.
I'll say, look at me while I'm
fucking you, boy.
And that's the sort of thing
you do for the audience during the commercial breaks.
Yes.
You have fun with that. Yeah. I can teach can teach you how but I won't takes too much time
But I can also teach you how to do a foghorn like one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't go I say I say you have to start a
Sentence interrupt a word then say I say then repeat the word and continue
Look at me. I say look at me while I'm fucking your boy see it's not i say i say he
doesn't say that anybody that watched foghorn my important cartoons is anyone under 65 here
in the audience today let's talk about played again sam he never really never really said it
yeah built too low to look around everybody gets darth Vader's quote wrong, too. Oh, yeah, that's right.
What does he really say?
Luke, I am your father.
He says, no, I am your father.
No, I am your father.
There's no Luke, right?
There's no Luke in it, yeah.
Yeah, so we don't know who's the kid.
He could be talking to anybody.
Yeah.
You need to address people when you have a helmet over your face.
Kids, if you stand around going, I'm your father.
Luke's down there with no hand going, who is he looking at?
That was not a bad impression of Mark Hamill screaming.
What about you, Doug?
What do you got?
I know I have some, but I can't think on the spot.
Well, just don't start with I say, I say.
Gomer Pyle.
Shazam!
That was a really good impression of the late Jim Neighbors.
Foghorn, Leghorn, and Jim Neighbors.
You guys all get that, right?
Everybody got that?
Shazam, I say, got that? Shazam!
I say, I say.
Shazam.
Yeah, I fucked it all up.
You're right, Drew.
It does take a while to learn that.
So let's go to the part of the show
where I say, turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
Here's the deal.
Some of these audience members have crafted name tags,
movie posters, if you will,
that they've worked their own name into.
Sometimes they attach things to bribe people.
Sometimes they just write their name on a phone.
You hold that up, so you get a brand new phone if you pick that one.
And I'd like each of you gentlemen to just go and select the one you like the most,
for whatever reasons, and bring it back to your seat.
And that's who you're going to play on behalf of today.
And they're going to be your partner when you need a lifeline.
of today and they're going to be your partner when you need a lifeline.
So pick
somebody that seems smart
and beautiful
and like a winner.
That's
this terrible seat over there. They're just ignoring
you over there. Is that an ex machina
thing? Yeah. Ha ha.
That wasn't bad. I recognize that from
this far.
All right.
Fall on down.
All right, we're going to go to a brief commercial break.
We'll be right back.
Hey, everybody, or more specifically,
the people of Tempe, Arizona.
I will be at the Tempe Improv once again
doing Doug Loves Movies on Saturday, April 11th at 420.
And then the next weekend on Sunday, April 19th,
I'm doing standout at the Punchline in San Francisco.
It's my annual countdown to 420 show.
And then on 420, April 20th, 2020, Denver, Colorado, Comedy Works, downtown is the place to be.
Hope to see you there.
Back to the show. We're back. We're back. And to see you there. Back to the show.
We're back.
We're back and this is very exciting.
There's a gentleman in the front row whose
name tag didn't get chosen.
The Beagle, our friend
the Beagle.
He's been marathon. How do you get to go to
so many Price is Right tapings?
I'm on leave so I've been in
every one since last Monday.
They just let you
keep coming back?
Like there aren't other people
that want to go?
That's awesome.
You just got to show up.
Just hang out.
You show up and get in there.
Well, it's good.
And you wear a,
what do you wear?
Like a shirt that says
something on it?
That doesn't help.
I wear navy t-shirts
all the time,
but it hasn't helped.
Navy?
Yeah.
That's good.
They're very good
to service people.
I don't know.
Well, if you go to Mario you know
how to win
half the game
so it's good
at what point
does it cross the line
and somebody's like
too much of an
acquaintance
for them to
go up on stage
and play the games
with you
like where
ethically
where is the line drawn
so he could still
get picked tomorrow
oh yeah okay cool I didn't want to ruin it for Beagle once I get high games with you, like ethically, where is the line drawn? So he could still get picked tomorrow? Oh, yeah.
I didn't want to ruin it for Beagle.
Once I get high with you,
that's it.
See, I knew there was some point,
there was some demarcation.
Ken, whose name tag did you
choose? Ian. This is kind of
cracking me up. It's Monty Python's Life of Brian,
but he just got rid of some of the letters.
So it says Life of Ian.
Just get rid of the B and the R and you're good.
Sometimes subtractive is better
than additive and there's Skittles on it too.
You like Skittles? Sure.
Who doesn't like Skittles, Doug?
I don't know.
I can't produce any names,
but they must exist.
Jonathan, what do you have there?
I think this is Kate.
Is that right?
I can't see you.
Is that right, Kate?
Yeah?
So it's cats, but it's Kate,
and it's Doug Benson as Rum Doug Duggar.
Ooh.
And I don't know the show,
but it's your body on the cat body,
and you are hot, my friend.
You are hot.
It's the Cats movie.
They went overboard with the sexiness.
Yeah.
And then putting my face on it really takes it up a lot of notches.
Well, thank you for that, Kate.
I'm also on Drew's pick.
What do you have, Drew?
This is my favorite
Nicolas Cage movie
Vampire's Kiss
it's too late Alba
it's too late
it's too late
yes
too late for impressions
yes
so he called it
Vampire's Kiss
and it attracted me
because I love this
Nicolas Cage movie
yeah
my hair's all crazy
Nicolas Cage
from that movie
he eats a roach
yeah
he really did it yeah he's crazy I. Nicolas Cage from that movie. He eats a roach. Yeah, he really did it.
Yeah.
He's crazy.
I guess they're not that bad.
Roaches?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Let's do it right now.
Compared to what?
Those shows where people eat bugs,
there seems to be one that people just sort of,
they just get through it and they seem fine.
I haven't seen the movie.
Is the roach alive?
Yes. Oh. Well. For the roach alive? Yes.
For a minute.
Probably not anymore.
He totally eats it off the stove. Now this is something
over here, Doug.
You got like a lobby standee for
Mrs. Marvel.
The Marvelous
Mrs. Marvel.
And it says Patrick Marvel. I'll be honest, I wasous Mrs. Marvel. And it says Patrick Marvel.
I'll be honest.
I was just like, that'd be funny if I took this home in the Lyft and just didn't say anything.
That's why I got it.
No, you should do the opposite.
You should say things like you're on a date with Brie Larson.
What's that, honey?
You're tired?
We're on our way.
We'll get you home.
You say you have universes to save?
All right.
You need some rest first.
Captain Marvel.
All right.
She looks very angry.
Good job, Patrick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's who everybody's playing for.
So now we're just gonna play some games
And somebody's gonna
Go home with all this stuff
Yeah
This thing is so big
Drew you know that game where
They have to write
They have to write a number on a check
Check game.
What is check game?
I think they should call it banks a lot.
Yesterday or today, recently,
we were laughing because the lady wrote the number on the check,
and then the number was wrong, and she didn't win the game.
But then you peel the check off, and you hand it to her, and she said out loud,
I don't want that.
I mean, it is a cool keepsake, but also it would be sad to look at, you know?
It would remind you of losing.
If I lost, we'd put a keepsake, but also it would be sad to look at, you know, like, and remind you of losing. If I lost, we put a big void stamp and stamp it.
So it says void, and I hope people just put it in a frame and hang it above their couch.
It's a good souvenir.
I love how you put it in perspective for people.
I don't know if Bob Barker used to do that, but you say stuff like, oh, that's okay.
You're going to get to spin the wheel to maybe get into the showcase, or you remind them what they've won already. That's great.
You got those bikes.
Yeah, I love that.
Not the worst day.
Sorry, buddy.
Still got a shot?
Also, the thing that people
bid for to get up on stage,
those things are getting expensive.
There's things in the multiple thousands a lot now.
And so people are still going,
$4.50, Drew?
I'm like, what are you doing?
Have you watched the show lately?
I know.
And it's okay to $1 somebody.
That's part of the game.
Yeah, but I think you should,
yeah, $1, I'm over.
Don't do the just bidding $1.
That doesn't work anymore.
He said it was okay. Drew Carey just said you could do that. No, I said over. Don't do the just bidding $1. That doesn't work anymore. He said it was okay.
Drew Carey just said you could do that.
No, I said strategy-wise.
Strategy-wise.
Strategy-wise, just saying $1 is one of the best things you can do.
And people have actually lost.
Because it's like 600, some people go 500, and they're last.
And they don't want to 0-1 somebody, so they go 700.
And they blew it.
They're all very friendly to each other.
The audience, it's a whole love fest.
It really is.
My wife stabbed somebody when she was on.
It was crazy.
She's very competitive.
Is that how she got on?
Just a quick stab, name tag change, run up there?
Yeah.
Because sometimes people don't realize
that their name was called right away
because it's so loud in that room
you can't hear what they're saying.
You have to look for a cue card that's held up with their name on it.
She still doesn't know she was on.
Somebody was in the bathroom once when we called them.
Oh my God.
I just had to wait.
Was that you?
You just had to wait for him.
Oh, that's nice.
You stopped the show So someone could finish
In the bathroom
Yeah
Number one or number two
Yeah how long
I don't know
But
I'm guessing number two
Yeah it'd be weird
To leave the audience
To that show
Because you have to pee
You could just
You could get
You could get through the hour or whatever.
People go through the commercial.
Were they mic'd up in the bathroom? No.
And somebody peed on
camera one time. They peed their pants.
Woman playing
Plinko. Did it air?
Yeah, it was my wife.
She got on
the local news because of it.
In her hometown.
I mean, it's crazy that she peed on camera
because the camera's pretty far away.
You couldn't miss it.
But she was way up on the Plinko,
so she just got a nice arch on it.
I gave her an extra 200 bucks.
Oh, that was nice.
All right, let's start the games with... I'll piss my pants right now for 200 bucks.
Come on! Come on!
That'd be fun, Jonathan, at the end of Let's Make a Deal
when you're doing the small deals with somebody,
say, hey, if you have piss in your pants,
I'll give you $100.
I'll do it. I'll do it.
Did you remember to bring some piss?
We mentioned it on Twitter.
Okay, this game is called Characters Welcome.
I am going to name the just random-ass characters
that are listed in the end titles of a motion picture.
And you guys, everybody on stage, guess as often as you like
the first person to hone in on the title I'm looking for.
You know, as I go along, I'll get closer to the bigger characters
in the movie at the end and then
that should give it away if we get that
far. Any questions?
Love it.
No.
Movies, right?
Yeah, movies.
Porn?
No.
No porn.
No TV. Do you know the character names in a lot of porn?
Touche
Man number three
Okay that's not one of them
We're starting now
Come on everybody
Here we go
Number one mom That's porn I know that's porn now. Come on, everybody. Here we go.
Number one mom.
That's porn. I know that's porn.
It's a character.
I personally can tell you
that's a porn. I hate these disgusting
men who rank their mothers.
If you give her $200, she'll do a number one mom.
Give her $200.
She'll do a number one, Mom.
There's another person in this movie who's just listed as waiter.
Someone they just call blonde.
V.I. Warshawski.
Times have changed.
That's a great guess, but no.
That's a great guess.
That's my Kathleen Turner impression.
I'm V.I. Warshawski.
Uh, reporter?
Kramer vs. Kramer.
Great guess, no.
There's someone in this movie called Snodgrass?
Kramer vs. Snodgrass.
Snodgrass?
Kramer vs. Snodgrass.
He was so close.
He had just said Snodgrass vs. Snodgrass.
He would have nailed it.
A woman at book party?
Played by someone who has been a guest on this program before.
Book club?
No.
Congressman Divine is the name in this movie. Book Club? No. No. Uh, Congressman Divine is the name
in this movie.
Somebody in the audience
perked up.
There's also
an NBC page.
Late Night.
No, that's not right.
Shit.
Do you ever do that
on Jeopardy?
Just take it back
right away?
Yeah, and Alex
would be like,
okay,
I'll give you a mulligan.
To be fair, he did say did say no that's not right Right after
There's someone that's given the credit
Passerby
Oh now I know
That's gotta give it away
Passerby and one dollar
Excellent bid good luck It's got to give it away. Pass her by and one dollar.
Excellent bid.
Good luck.
The amount is... Slide that thing out.
Jack Barry?
Does that help anybody?
Quiz show.
Oh, I knew it.
I knew you'd figure it out.
Shooter McGavin as Jack Barry.
Yeah, look at that.
He even knows the actor who played the role.
Christopher McDonald.
Wow.
Quiz show from 1984.
So, of course, that's right after the cutoff for you guys.
That's why you didn't know anything about it.
But hopefully you'll do better in this next game that, you know,
of course, regular listeners know that I had to play this game tonight.
Whose tagline is it anyway?
Yeah, just like Bryce Wright, I have a bunch of different games with names,
and I rotate them, and like you were saying backstage,
it's fun because you don't have to get sick of any of them.
Yeah, I mean, this isn't Plinko, but it's pretty fun.
There's little to no yodeling in this.
But since Ken won that first game,
that's all he won
was getting to go first
in this next game,
so everybody's still in this.
And I'll go to you one at a time,
starting with Ken.
If he can't think of the right answer,
I'll move on to Jonathan, etc.
And I'm just going to tell you a tagline
from a motion picture
from all the movies ever made,
and you just have to figure out
what movie that is.
Sometimes it's easier than others.
A theme will develop.
That's it?
That's all you need to know.
Oh, shit.
You got this, Doug. all you need to know you got this Doug
are you talking to you
you know I love the pep talks
to myself during the show
you're doing a great show Doug
Doug you gotta get this finished
in 19 minutes
but you can do it Doug it's like I say to myself things Doug, you gotta get this finished in 19 minutes.
You can do it, Doug.
It's like I say to myself things they would say to me from the booth.
Ken, what movie has the tagline,
things fall down, people look up,
and when it rains, it pours? Whats what possibly the worst tagline ever created like
would not make anyone go oh i want to see that things fall down period people look up period
when it rains it pours. No period.
That is obviously... Maybe I just didn't write down that last period.
That is...
Cheaper by the dozen
with Steve Martin
Alright, you don't have to do these show-offy answers
where you give more information
I don't know, it's clearly not cheaper by the dozen
so I'll move on
That's not it
What do you think it is, John?
Could you repeat it one more time, please?
Things fall down, people look up, and when it rains, it pours.
I think it's a double feature of
Legends of the Fall and Rain Man.
Or?
It's not or.
What the fuck is that?
That's your game show.
I can say or.
Am I allowed to get an or?
I love it.
What the fuck is this? It's bullshit. I'd love it. The fuck is this?
It's bullshit.
I'd love it
if Legends of the Falls
tagline was
things fall down
and Rain Man's tagline
was when it rains
it pours.
Man.
You can't just keep guessing.
I can keep guessing.
All right, yeah.
Well, he's definitely
narrowed it down
for everybody.
Two or three less movies that are not guessing. All right, yeah. Well, he's definitely narrowed it down for everybody. Two or three less movies
that are not it.
What do you think it is, Drew?
I think it's
Pennies from Heaven.
That's a terrific guess
because that movie was weird.
Doug, what do you think?
Noah?
Hang on, I'm trying to answer.
What if it's Noah?
Wasn't that the
Russell Crowe movie?
I was talking to this Doug.
People look up!
What was your guess? Noah?
Was that the Noah Clark movie where it rained a lot?
I have to say Noah.
Incorrect.
That was the
tagline for the motion picture called
Magnolia.
When it rains it pours frogs.
And it describes
things that happen in the movie.
But also that's the only tagline
that was listed on
IMDB.
That was the one they ran with.
That's why that was such a smash.
Okay, so we're back to Ken
again. Nobody's got a point in this game.
Tends to stay that
way.
Ken, what movie has the tagline
It ain't easy being
this good?
Who whispered that?
Drew Carey whispered the Drew Carey story?
Yeah, I really thought it was somebody else.
It ain't easy being this good.
I guess I know the theme, but it's not helping me here.
It's not?
No.
Oh, cool.
That is Smokey and the Bandit.
No.
Jonathan? Jonathan?
What's eating Gilbert Grape?
That was so close.
Butt wrong.
Drew?
I may have no idea uh uh fuck i have no police academy just picture like somebody on the poster being like
yeah police academy five their their fifth assignment or whatever it was called Doug Beverly Hills Cop
Beverly Hills Cop
oh that's a great one
it isn't easy being that good
but kind of close
yeah but I said
Gilbert Grave was close just because it's another
title with four words
see
my favorite genre of movie.
Four word titles.
It begins with WH.
White men can't jump.
Of course.
White men can't jump.
Yeah.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Ken's going to get this one.
I doubt it.
The tagline is,
2019, a game nobody survives.
That is the running man.
That is the running man.
You cut me off before I even got...
You got to wait till the end of...
Wait, there's more to the tagline?
Before you can buzz in.
Sorry.
Yeah.
No, this year might be the exception.
Was the end of that tagline. I feel like it was stronger without this year might be the exception. Was the end of that tagline.
I feel like it was stronger without this year might be the exception.
Yeah, yeah.
But also, I just love 2019, a game nobody survives, because we did it.
We're here.
All right, so Ken's on the board.
He's got one.
So we start with Jonathan.
This is your chance to jump in, Jonathan.
50 million people watched, but no one saw a thing.
Fuck.
50 million people watched, but no one saw a thing.
It's on Jonathan.
The Academy Awards.
He's the only one.
50 million people had The Purge
is my guess
which I haven't seen
no
yeah
more people than that
would watch The Purge
I mean if it was
a thing throughout
the entire country
Drew what do you think it is?
oh man
I have no idea
good answer
no I literally have no idea. Good answer.
No, I literally have no idea.
Yeah.
It's tough.
Doug?
Now you see me, now you don't.
Is that the movie?
Fifty million people watched, but no one saw a thing.
Isn't that like a heist movie? Or Hollow Man.
Or the upcoming Invisible Man with Elizabeth Moss.
Ken?
Bring it home.
Is this allowed? Isn't this just quiz show again?
What's that?
Isn't this just quiz show again? It's quiz show, yeah, that's right.
Ah.
I thought I was so clever doing that.
Does anyone, Drew, in the hole-in-one game,
does anyone ever play it?
Like, can you tell that they have the knowledge
that you are going to give them a hole-in-two,
that they do get a second chance every time?
No.
I always feel so bad for those people
because that first one they're going to miss
because they're so nervous.
Yeah.
And then you give them a second one and that's
exciting but now you only
still you just have the one chance.
And I like
when you get up there and knock it in.
I've made like two
putts in 13 years.
But you always
try. I always try. I love that.
I love it. Alright.
Ken's got two so chances are you guys aren't gonna catch up. He's a Jeopardy champion. It's try. I love that. I love it. All right. Ken's got two, so chances are you guys aren't going to catch up.
He's a Jeopardy champion.
It's true.
It really did come at you strong.
Can you imagine a Champions episode of Price is Right?
Yeah, I would love to do a Champions episode of the Price is Right.
I've pitched it.
People are so good at it.
They're so good at spinning a wheel.
Also, spinning the wheel,
you say it's got to go around
once. At least once to count.
Yeah, but sometimes does it fall a little short
and you just go, whatever.
These older ladies are not going to get
this thing to go around. I say that spin doesn't count.
It has to go around at least once. And we give them another chance
and then I ask, do you want me to help you?
And then I'll help them out. But some of that doesn't get on tv uh i don't know i don't
watch it you've seen it once i never watched the show but you've seen it once why watch it again
that's what people yeah i was already there you were and i don't like watching myself on tv so
yeah okay i really hate watching myself. I love watching you on TV.
I'm like 80% of America.
Statistically speaking.
I'll just take the Hitler stuff down a notch.
he's a good host but too into hitler okay jonathan is this on you okay okay love and money you have mixed them both
i don't know what the hell that's about.
That's it? Love and money?
I probably wrote it down wrong.
No, that is the accurate tagline.
Love and money. You have mixed them both.
Oh, God.
I know, right?
Money ball?
Good guess. Drew?
We have figured out that all these movies have game shows in them.
Right?
No.
I'm willing to bet no.
Did you know White Man Can Jump has a ton of Jeopardy in it?
Because Rosie Perez's character is a Jeopardy champion in the movie.
Foods that start with Q.
Yeah.
And Magnolia, of course, the little boy in the movie, is a genius,
and he's on one of those really smarty-pants game shows.
And this movie.
Thanks for waiting until after I answered for the clue.
I appreciate that.
Is it the one where the guy is on the game show in India
and he cheats, whatever that one is?
What's the name of that one?
You can't ask them?
He's used to Price is Right, where they could turn to the audience and get the answer.
You know what I'm talking about.
The one where they fix the game show and they give you the answers.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's called something.
What is it called?
Doug is next.
He'll get the point if you can't figure it out.
I can't remember the name of the movie.
Do you know what it is, Doug?
But you know what I'm talking about, right?
Yeah. Oh, what is it is, Doug? Yeah.
Slumdog Millionaire.
That's right. Slumdog Millionaire.
That's the one.
We should share that point.
Well, I want to sleep well at night.
Because technically I had it.
And all you guys know this one. may the odds be ever in your favor is it my turn no i'm just
saying you all know that one that's correct we do yeah yeah oh yeah that's an easy one yeah
okay whatever next one no that's the end of that game. Ken is the winner, but we do have one more game to play,
and this will determine who goes on with all the stuff.
It's called Last Woman Stanton,
and I'm going to get the name from a preselected audience member
of an actress,
and then all of us, including myself,
I like to play along in this one. We're going to take
turns naming movies that actress
has been in. If you can't think of one
when it's your turn, you can go to
your lifeline, which is the name tag you
chose. You can go to that person once
to try and
stay in the game, but whoever lasts the longest
is the winner, and
whoever you play for gets all the prizes.
Yeah, let's do it.
Drew,
you're looking at me like how people look at you
when you explain the games on the show
where they just cannot
believe that they're standing next to Drew Carey
and they're not
listening to a word that you're saying.
They're just like,
when do I lift him up again?
Do you...
My wife still hasn't spoken since then.
My wife!
She's catatonic.
She's at home shaking.
She can't remember anything
that happened when she was on the stage.
It's crazy.
She could look at the tape.
Do you guys have it on tape?
Yeah we watched it
Where is heavy
W8 underscore beagle
Of course he's right there
He's the guy that got selected
Yeah that's what happens
He got selected randomly
And yet here he is Right up up front, ready to go.
Give us a name, sir.
Catherine O'Hara.
Catherine O'Hara, the great Catherine O'Hara.
Does not match the name that I have in my wallet!
So I will hang on.
I mean, I'll give the pin to the prize bag.
It went in, right?
Okay.
How do you feel, guys?
Feeling strong about this?
Catherine O'Hara movies?
Nightmare Before Christmas.
Are you first?
I don't know.
Clearly you don't.
No, it's...
Who won the last game
Ken right
Yeah so we start with Ken
Nightmare Before
No I'm just kidding
I would not
Would I do that to
America's Sweetheart
Drew Carey
No I don't think so
No he's gonna let you have it
What do you got instead
I will say
Home Alone
Very good
I'm gonna go for it I'm gonna say Home Alone. Very good.
I'm going to go for it.
I'm going to say Home Alone 2, Lost in New York.
I'm very proud that I know that whole title.
Beetlejuice.
Doug says Beetlejuice.
Beetlejuice.
Nightmare Before Christmas.
What kind of nightmare was it?
You know, it was like a skeleton or whatever.
But it was just
nightmare before Christmas? There was no word
before nightmare?
The nightmare before Christmas?
Was it? Is it that specific?
The Nightmare
Before Christmas? I think so.
I don't know.
Jonathan? Best in
show.
Ken?
A Mighty
Wind.
Yeah.
Waiting for Kaufman.
Best in show two.
Now, can I do my lifeline?
Doug's going to his lifeline.
Patrick, you got one?
Patrick, you can do this.
You have a giant thing of Brie Larson in your apartment.
Somebody's sitting next to Patricked it in his ear.
That's his lifeline.
Nothing, Patrick?
No, sorry.
All right.
There you go.
Fuck.
Another
Christopher Guest movie that I'm blanking on?
Do you want to do a street call out?
That's where you run out onto the street.
Ask people if they know Catherine O'Hara movies.
And you'll just be standing there
out there listening to them name all the ones
we've already named.
Fuck.
Alright, Doug's out.
Oh, I know.
Doug out. So sad.
I'm not gonna repeat
that.
I'm not gonna dignify that.
Drew?
Was she... Did
SCTV make a movie? They should have.
Oh, okay. Well then, Chris? You know anyone? Lifeline Chris? Was she Did SCTV make a movie They should have Oh okay well then
Chris
You know anyone
Lifeline Chris
You guys knew all the same ones
That I did
Yeah right
Hey Chris
Really nailed those cats
Go fuck yourself Chris
Thanks for nothing motherfucker
That's from Drew Carey
To you bitch
Oh my goodness
Oh Wow Daytimes on CBS Drew Carey to you, bitch. Oh my goodness.
Daytimes on CBS.
Yeah.
Be sure to watch the special Valentine's Day edition this Friday.
All this week on Let's Make a Deal,
people are proposing marriage.
They are all week, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Can you tell us, does it flip?
Like, does a woman propose to a man at any point?
Or is there a gay couple?
There's all kinds of couples.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, yeah.
Tune in to watch.
Okay.
Yeah.
On Price is Right, we fix people up on their first date,
and their first date is meeting up in Bitter's Row
and playing on the Price is Right.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That's going to be adorable.
Yeah.
Well, until they lose the game.
Then they don't get along.
Very well.
On Fart Safari, I tell fart jokes.
Exclusively?
Or do you get a couple other topics in there?
There's a few other.
Okay, good.
Come on, baby.
It's a fart safari.
Come on, baby. It's a fart safari. Come on, baby, it's a fart safari.
Oh, my God, that's wonderful.
Whose turn is it?
Jonathan?
I believe she was number one mom in Quiz Show.
What?
Go to your lifeline.
I'm going to my lifeline.
Kate, please help me.
Can you think of a...
Ken, for your consideration.
Ah, that was mine, Kate.
For your consideration.
For your consideration.
Good job, Kate.
It is.
Kate, you're killing me.
Yeah.
I think that might have been my last one.
Oh, Ken might have to go to his lifeline.
Wow. Goats need help, too. The mighty Jeopardy go to his lifeline.
Goats need help, too.
The mighty Jeopardy! champion needs a lifeline.
It's humiliating.
I thought you didn't do impressions.
No.
I'm the timpani drum from Jeopardy.
Yeah, I guess I'm going to Ian.
Ian, do you have anything?
You're over here somewhere, right?
Where's Ian?
She's the voice in Frankenweenie?
I mean, that's probably true, right? Sounds legit.
Yeah, people are agreeing in the audience.
I think that's right.
Yeah, so you're still in it. Ian, you're my audience. I think that's right. Ian, you're in my hero.
Not like Kate.
Yay.
Corpse Bride?
No, he doesn't know.
I'm out.
Maybe.
Jonathan?
She was in Corpse Bride?
Okay, I'm still in.
I can't go to the audience anymore.
I think she had a small part
In planes, trains, and automobiles
What do you think she did?
Number one, mom
I don't think so
It just feels like
No I think you're wrong
No
Somebody's yelling over there
She's in it?
No That was just somebody Nobody has a phone Waiting in line for the restroom Whoa. Somebody's yelling over there. She's in it? No.
That was just somebody
waiting in line for the restroom.
Look at my fucking phone.
I like to keep it organic
and just, you know,
talk to the corrections department later.
It was a guess.
Yeah, I don't think she's in it.
Human centipede?
Was she in that?
Which end?
She's right in the middle.
Oh. Ken?
I think I might be out
Uncle Buck?
Is she in Uncle Buck?
No
No
But I'm so excited
to call myself the winner
Yeah
On this particular edition
But the prizes are going
to the person that
Ken was playing for.
Congratulations.
Sorry, Chris.
Everybody did great.
Yeah, that was super fun.
Let's do some plugs.
Doug, besides the album, what else you got going on?
Besides Fart Safari 3 dropping soon,
I got a sports podcast called 69th Base.
So check that out.
Oh, and I'll be
headlining the
Velveeta Room
at the end of the month
in Austin,
February 28th.
We love Austin, Texas.
I do.
I'll be there for South By.
Yeah.
Super psyched.
Thanks, dude.
Yeah, thank you.
Drew Carey.
I have a radio show
every Friday night
on Little Stevens Underground Garage where I play rock and roll music for threey. I have a radio show every Friday night on Little Stephen's Underground Garage
where I play rock and roll music for three hours.
I've been doing it weekly for about a year and a half,
monthly for about ten years.
So I'm doing it weekly now,
and it's called The Friday Night Freakout.
Serious Channel 21.
Yes.
And that game show thing, too.
Yeah.
If you like rock and roll music, it's great.
The game show is, yeah. If you like rock and roll music, it's great. The game show is, yeah.
If you like pricing items,
listen to the radio show.
I also,
I also taped
Celebrity Family Feud
on Sunday.
But I can't tell you
how it turned out.
And you brought
your whole family on?
No,
I just brought
friends of mine.
Blink Apache
and Brendan Walsh.
That's awesome.
I love it.
That sounds hilarious.
When's it going to be on? Sometime in the summer,
they said. Is that allowed on Family Feud?
You can just be like, I don't get along with my sister.
I'm bringing on Blaine Kapach. Celebrity version, you pick
your own family. Yeah, we went up against
Kevin Nealon. I thought you meant, is Brendan
Walsh allowed on Family Feud?
Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't seem like
he should be.
I like how Drew's like, yeah I don't know doesn't seem like he should be no
I like how
Drew's like
celebrities only
normal people
have to bring
their shitty relatives
but
celebrities you can
pick whoever you want
yeah
you can pick your friends
Jonathan
so let's make a deal
every day
whose line is it anyway
from time to time
and there's a movie
that I did
I never get to do drama
so I did this drama movie,
this psychological thriller that is now available
for rent on the Amazon and iTunes
called A Patient Man.
A Hitchcockian, creepy drama.
It's really fun. I apologize for not asking
you more about that earlier in the
show, because that's why you're here, to
plug that movie.
Oops. plug that movie. What? We're, we're, we're, oops. Yeah.
Bum,
ba-dum,
bum,
bum,
bum, bum,
bum,
bum,
bum.
He plays
number one mom.
That's right.
I didn't think
those bad moms
were that bad.
So,
in other news,
but thank you
for being here
and where can they
see the movie again?
It's on Amazon Prime
or iTunes,
A Patient Man.
All right.
Included on Amazon?
Say it again?
Included with Amazon?
No, you have to pay
if you have Amazon.
You get it for $4.99
or something like that
to watch it.
Forget it then.
Thanks a lot,
friend of 20 years. Just Amazon. $4.99 or something like that to watch it. Forget it then. Thanks a lot, friend of 20 years.
Just Amazon.
I've known you for 20 years.
When you're all fucked up and
scrolling through Amazon, you get excited
about a movie and then it's not included
with Prime.
There's a charge for it.
I'm like, I get it anyway.
I usually turn down movie offers when I know people will have to pay.
Yeah, you shouldn't have done this movie, man.
I shouldn't have done it.
I should have really known what I was going to have to do.
Could you only do free movies, please?
Only do free movies.
It's time to give back.
Only do old movies that people don't want to pay to see anymore.
They've become free movies.
Will this be on a plane free?
Okay.
Ken, what about you?
What's coming up?
I'm at Ken Jennings on Twitter.
I'm on
upcoming GSN quiz show
called Masterminds.
I'm one of the masterminds.
Is that the British show?
It is not, sadly.
It's Masterminds, plural.
But boy, that British,
Mastermind is a great format.
What a hard show.
I didn't even know
what subjects they
were talking about
it's this British show
where at the end
they're like
pick your subject
and it'll be like
Jacobian
right there
drum
poetry or whatever
the answer's always
Manchester United though
no matter what
the question is
I'm the author
of Planet Funny
a book about American comedy culture.
Doug Benson and Doug Loves Movies
makes a cameo appearance.
I like cameoing in a book.
Don't read too fast or you'll miss me.
And my own podcast is called Omnibus.
I do it with musician John Roderick,
and we look at weird, weird stories
from human culture and history
that we want to pass along
to the post-human residents
of a hypothetical future post-apocalyptic Earth.
Wow.
All right.
The crowd is like, wow.
Oh, what a dark motherfucker you are.
Wow. Oh, and also dark motherfucker you are. Wow.
Oh, and also for $200, you can watch me pee my pants.
I forgot to plug that.
I'll be at DNA's Comedy Lab in Santa Cruz on Saturday, March 7th at 4.20,
doing stand-up with a couple of my stand-up pals.
It should be a lot of fun.
And this was a lot of fun.
Thank you guys for coming out.
Where's the prize winner?
Come get your stuff, Ian.
Life of Ian.
Come grab all your things.
Congratulations.
Good job.
That wasn't him him no ID or anything
that was just another guy
came and grabbed
all the shit
one more time
for Doug Mellor
Drew Carey
Jonathan Mangum
and
Ken Jennings
Reed Larson
as always
positive energy
now it's time for Doug to watch another talky Eyes of Gold is viewing As always, positive energy.