Doug Loves Movies - Emma, Calvin, Henry and Arthur Arnold, Samm Levine and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: May 16, 2016Live from the Knitting Factory in Boise, ID, Doug welcomes fan favorites Geoff Tate and Samm Levine to the show, along with Emma, Calvin, Henry and Arthur Arnold. See Privacy Policy at https...://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody!
My name is Doug, and I love movies!
This is Love, Love, Movies!
Very nice.
Coming to you for the first time ever...
From the Knitting Factory in downtown Boise, Idaho! for the first time ever from the knitting factory
in downtown Boise, Idaho!
Oh!
What a delightful group
of weird noises
we've assembled here today.
What is it?
Sunday?
May 15th, let's call it.
2016, of course.
I'm very excited
that you guys turned out today.
It's a little gloomy outside,
which to me is the perfect day
to stay inside
and discuss arcane movie trivia.
And so thank you for being here.
And show me your own private name tags, Idaho.
Let me see what you got.
Oh, it's looking pretty good.
There's someone in the front row just held up a beer.
But for the listeners, I should say
that there was a good name tag turnout.
We've got Finding Corey
instead of Finding Nemo.
What's the Deadpool thing?
Brian Pool.
Okay, it's not the greatest play on words,
but graphically, you've done an excellent job.
Yeah, lots of great name tags out there,
so, uh, good luck to all of you in being chosen.
Did, uh, does the Knitting Factory have, like, a no donuts rule,
or did somebody get some donuts in here?
Okay, all right. That's cool.
We'll s... What's that?
There were donuts?
You saw some. Okay, good.
All right, we've established
that there are donuts.
Settle down, Nancy Drew.
But I bring up Nancy Drew
for a reason, because
CBS Television,
you know that channel that makes things
that only old people like?
They fucking had a Nancy Drew pilot starring Sarah Shahi.
I don't know if you know who she is, but she's crazy hot
and was going to play Nancy Drew as an adult solving crimes.
And CBS television passed on the pilot and is not going to make a series
because they say that it tested
too female.
Like they still fucking think
that 50% of this country
is not worth pitching a TV show
towards.
It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Plus she's sexy as shit.
Like I would watch the hell out of her
solving crimes.
Without that fucking...
Like that Sherlock Holmes show, Elementary,
I love Lucy Liu, but that guy
is standing around all the time.
They should give her a show and just call it Holmes.
Holmes Slice.
Anyway.
Doug plugs.
Doug Loves Movies is going to be at the UCB Theater
tomorrow night in Los Angeles.
It's the Sunset Boulevard location.
And then the very next night, Tuesday night,
we're over at the Franklin Avenue location.
So if you're in L.A., there's no reason.
That's the end of that statement. If you're in L in LA, there's no reason. That's the end of
that statement. If you're in LA,
there's no reason.
I don't know what you're doing.
St. Louis, Doug Loves Movies on
May 25th at 9.30
at Helium. You know what
Helium is?
You're right. You guys are right.
And then Boston on Saturday
May 28th at 420.
New York City on May 30th.
Punchline in Atlanta on June 11th.
And also, oh, that's also at 420.
DouglasMovies.com for more dates and more deets
than you can shake a dick at.
Where's Brad O'Neal 87?
Are you here, dude?
That's you?
Did you bring the picture for me to sign?
He was tweeting me today that he has a picture he wants me to sign,
and I want to make sure it happens,
because it's clearly super important to him.
And I accused him of being a stalker,
and he was like, I'm just a fan, man.
But look at these.
Look at these.
Like, sometimes when I arrive in an airport,
someone will come up to me with, like,
a stack of stuff like this,
and they want me to sign every one of them,
and they're going to sell them,
but these are just for you.
These are just your personal thing.
I'll write Brad on them.
I'll only write Brad on it.
I won't even put my own name.
Oh, you went silver sharpie. I like it. I won't even put my own name. Oh, you went silver sharpie.
I like it.
You can sign right on my black hoodie.
I'll write Brad on one of them
and then the other one,
if you want to sell it, you can.
I like to leave you that option.
But, you know,
thanks for
still coming
after I accused you of being a stalker.
You piece of shit.
Here, here, your Sharpie, your Sharpie.
Dude.
I don't need you tomorrow tweeting me,
you stole my Sharpie.
Can we meet up so I can get my Sharpie back?
Can we meet up so I can get my Sharpie back?
Technical note for the listeners and you guys if you experience this problem.
If the sound is terrible on the Douglas movies from Denver,
download it again.
Like, re-download it.
And then, because we fixed it,
but subscribers, you know,
got the first version that went into their thing,
so, like, I still keep getting messages
from people saying the sound sucks,
and I go, well, just re-download it,
and it's going to sound great.
From the corrections department,
I had meant to say before midnight.
It's not called... Wait. I'm gonna fuck this up again.
I meant to say before midnight isn't called after midnight,
but then I just still called it after midnight again.
Because the weed in Denver is great.
But, yeah, the weed in Boise
is perfectly acceptable as well.
But keep it down,
because it's not legal here.
And no more weed talk,
because it's terribly inappropriate
in front of my guests today.
Oh, one more thing. Dan Aykroyd is not in Raiders of my guests today. Oh, one more thing.
Dan Aykroyd is not in
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
He appears briefly
in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
and I thought I was so smart when I said
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Let's look at the prize bag, you guys.
Yeah.
I really...
This was one of those trips where I only came to Boise
and then I'm flying back to L.A.,
so I loaded up my bag with stuff
because I didn't need to pack a lot of shit for myself.
This is a crazy thing that I found recently.
It's a shirt that would never fit me
because it's simply a large, and I'd go XL for now.
Hopefully I'll lose some weight, but, you know, life goals.
I found a shirt from a New Year's Eve show that I did at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco.
And this was 2005.
So 11 years ago, I was on a show with Maria Bamford, Zach Galifianakis, and David Cross.
Yeah.
And Al Madrigal and Tony Kameen.
And now they won't return my calls.
But at least they were all on a shirt together.
I brought some microwave popcorn from my hotel room.
So I didn't really travel with that.
I brought a nice
rubber piece from
Peacemaker. I found this
when I was moving recently. Remember that
Steven Spielberg show on NBC,
Amazing Stories?
I found this. It's a button that says
Amazing Button.
So I had to bring that.
I got a
backstage pass sticker from the Motion City Soundtrack show I went to bring that. I got a backstage pass sticker
from the Motion City Soundtrack Show I went to recently.
I've got some CDs that I have no idea.
I read times part two and part three.
I don't know if I have part one around anywhere.
But one of them is a danceable edition
and the other one is the Harvest.
I don't know what any of that means.
And then also a CD for someone called Jet Baker, Pot Patriot.
So if the winner today can listen to those
and let me know how that worked out for them.
And then from, I usually bring two VHS tapes
from my personal collection.
We're talking three today.
And it's good to know that you guys can get excited about virtually nothing.
Because one person today is going to go home with three of these that they probably can't watch.
We've got an episode, episode six from season one.
I think there was only one season of a reality show called Pop Stars.
And then an episode of the underrated Gross Point.
And then, this is the real deal right here,
an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Always gets a cheer. People love that show. An episode called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Always gets a cheer.
People love that show.
An episode called Superstar.
So I think that was one where Mary Catherine Gallagher
came in and sniffed her armpits.
So all of that is in the prize bag.
Plus what my guests brought.
And you guys have been sitting here dealing with this since you got
to this show today.
There's fucking six chairs
on stage.
So many of you are probably like,
what? He got six
people? Well, they're all people.
I will say that.
But it's going to be
an interesting one today.
Please help me in welcoming to the stage
Emma, Calvin, Henry, and Arthur Arnold,
and Jeff Tate and Sam the Man Levine,
a.k.a. Lil Wolverine!
I think Sam, I think you're supposed to be on this end.
I think that was the plan.
That's alright. That's all right.
It's all working out.
Hey, buddy.
Yeah, so basically what happened is Emma's been on the show a few times.
Let's hear it for Emma Arnold, everybody.
She's been on the show a few times.
She lives here in Boise
with her six children,
three of her own and three steps.
And she...
Don't forget Alice.
She said that she...
And the kids actually listen to this program,
which doesn't...
I don't think that's good parenting.
And she volunteered, basically.
The idea, I've had a single,
I've had one child on the show with their
parent on two different occasions,
but this is definitely a first.
Emma is here
with all of her kids, and
they are going to play as a
team today.
Yeah.
So they're going to have to decide together.
Sweetie, what did we come here to do? What did we come here to do today?
I forgot.
So, yeah, so that's... See how that goes?
Like, when we have one child, he usually is very quiet,
and now we have three of them.
Wait, wait, wait. He remembers.
Crushed butts.
Crushed butts. We're gonna win.
We're here to win. He said he's Crushed butts. We're going to win.
We're here to win.
He said he's going to crush butts?
We're here to crush butts.
That's an expression you encourage?
She taught him that expression.
Do you think anybody that works at the school that they attend listens to this podcast? You know, they go to a charter school, so we do what we want.
They go to a what school?
A charter school.
Oh, charter.
Yeah, we do what you want. You said the R word. They go to a what school? A charter school. Oh, charter. Yeah, we do what you want.
You said the R word.
They go to a retarded school.
So it's fine.
It's fine.
Let's meet them individually. Let's say
hi to, who's that on your left there?
This is Calvin. Hi, Calvin.
How you doing, dude?
Good. All right,, dude? Good.
All right, nice talking to you.
And then to your right, Emma, who's that?
That's...
This is Arthur.
That's Arthur.
What is that?
Arthur.
Arthur, he does what he pleases.
Arthur!
Was he named after the movie Arthur?
Nope.
Nope.
Just a name you like?
Yeah.
They all have kind of English names.
Just sort of happened that way, though.
It's sort of, yeah, all old-fashioned names.
Yeah.
And we have yet to meet Henry?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Henry is here, you guys.
Yeah.
Hi.
It's Calvin, Henry, and Arthur.
Emma was dead set on having a president.
King. I want a king. Presidential names dead set on having a president. King.
I want a king.
Presidential names only.
I like that approach.
And Jeff Tate is here, everybody.
Hello.
Hi, everybody.
You might know him from Doug Lowe's movies
and Getting Doug with High
and Dining with Doug and Karen.
Doug loves minis. He does them all.
He does the whole
Doug Benson podcast circuit.
And he,
like we said, he tours a lot with
Emma and he's been living...
How long have you been at their house?
I got here on...
With the six kids?
Thursday. I got here on Thursday.
So you've spent three days with a house full of kids?
Sure, yeah.
Young adults, I should say.
No, they're kids.
But there's only three of them here now instead of six,
so it feels like a vacation.
He came to the dart zone yesterday with nine kids.
He and I took nine kids to go play darts for Arthur's birthday.
And, yeah.
I'm burning.
We're both so sore we can barely stand up today.
Happy birthday, Arthur!
Come on!
Yeah.
Thanks.
I can't.
Yeah, I can't really fight that instinct that you have to wish a child happy birthday.
But we all have them.
He's not special.
But
do you know who is special?
Terrible segue.
Sam Levine is here!
Thank you.
Thank you, Boise.
Thank you, Boise.
You're too good to me, Boise.
And let's just to be,
let's get this straight,
just so everybody knows.
Let's go through.
How old is Calvin?
Calvin is almost 13.
And then how old is Arthur?
Eight? He just turned eight.
And?
Henry's 11.
Henry's 11.
I'm 34.
And Sam is 34.
I'm 37 and three quarters.
Yeah, but you don't...
I made this joke about Sam
because he looks like he's their age.
I did offer him a granola bar
and asked him if he needed to potty on the way out here.
So I apologize for that.
Yeah, it is a long...
It's 90 minutes, so I hope you did potty.
Good tip. I did. Thank you.
Like, did you know it was Sam when he did that
or did you just walk up behind him like,
Hey, buddy. Oh, shit.
Well, I'm the same height as her children,
so she just thought I was another one.
That's a short joke, guys.
These are small people. I'm not a tall guy.
It doesn't read on
the audio podcast, but you're in the room.
That should have gone over better.
Yeah, she's killing the room.
And then the listeners should be like, what?
So Emma,
did you and your
minions,
did you guys bring something
for the prize bag? Or did everybody bring
something individually?
The boys all brought one thing
And then I brought another thing
Okay, so let's start with, to your left
Let's start with Calvin
Okay, so I brought Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D
Something you shouldn't even
Hey, stop it, you guys
He shouldn't even be watching that
Are you giving it away before watching it,
or did you see it?
I haven't seen it yet.
That's good.
Jeff loves this.
So in this movie,
you're going to meet Jason
in a whole new dimension
because it's now in 3D.
Yeah, 3D movies on DVD are the best
because it's not in 3D.
It comes with a very authentic pair of 3D glasses.
It does?
Yeah.
All right.
Very authentic.
Very authentic. Sit very close to the TV
It's going to feel like 3D
You're an inch away
Emma, what did you bring?
Okay, I brought some of my honey
From Arby's
We have a hive at our house now even
Yeah, and I also brought some stickers
From Record Exchange
And from Guru Donuts
Yeah, Boise favorites And I also brought some stickers from Record Exchange and from Guru Donuts.
Yeah, Boise favorites.
I brought two tickets to Comic Cinema Remix,
which is a movie show where they make fun of movies live.
We're doing Flashdance there tomorrow.
And I brought a T-shirt from them, too.
And I brought a T-shirt and some Stitch Kits from Speak Your Silence.
So I really brought a big haul.
That's a lot of great stuff. Emma, I just spent the last minute and a half trying to figure out why you would bring honey from Ar Your Silence. So I really brought a big haul. That's a lot of great stuff.
Emma, I just spent the last minute and a half trying to figure out why you would bring honey from Arby's.
Arby's.
Our bees.
Our bees.
We got the bees. That's their slogan.
Arby's. We got the bees.
It's a meat honey.
Very moist.
I love that you separated the prizes for the kids and you clearly just showed
them up.
They brought one thing.
I brought all the best things.
And what has
Arthur got for us?
I have Footloose.
It's a condition
he suffers from.
He shouldn't cheer.
His feet are loose.
Be careful, Arthur.
And what has
Henry got for us?
I got Robocop 2.
I think that's PG-13 So that's also out of your age range
I really think social services might get involved
My parents took me to see lots of R rated movies
This is rated R
Oh straight up R
Yeah that's a hard R
A dude gets cut open in that movie It terrified me when I was a kid. This is rated R for sure. Oh, straight up R. Yeah, that's a hard R. A dude gets cut open in that movie.
It terrified me when I was a kid
and I saw that.
No, no, it's...
Oh, yeah, RoboCop 2.
I forgot.
The reboot was PG-13, I think.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, all right.
I think RoboCop 3 was PG-13.
Although there's a kid bad guy
in RoboCop 2.
Like, I shit you not,
one of the bad guys in that movie
is like a 13-year-old kid.
All right, let's play that DVD.
Let's go ahead and run it.
It doesn't say anything about there being a kid on it,
on the back.
Well, pass all that stuff down, you guys.
Great job, the Arnolds.
You brought a lot of great stuff.
Oh, and it's in its own bag,
so someone's going to leave here multiple bags tonight.
Might be, uh...
Someone might look at you like you're part of the homeless problem.
Walking around with these bags.
Jeff, what did you bring?
I got an Incredibles, uh, weekender situation.
It's a necklace thing, and you open this,
and it's got a little one-hitter for, like, candy and stuff.
Right?
You could save that for the next time you're on.
You had to put that up.
No, I thought it would get a big laugh.
It did.
It did.
It worked.
Good job.
And we should say Incredibles is the company.
Incredibles?
It's a clever company that has the word edibles preceded by four letters.
There's the T-shirt.
Yeah, yeah, they got...
Incredibles.
I think they're the ones that gave me the vape pen I have in my pocket for my candy.
That is a super soft T-shirt, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Usually hemp clothes are a little scratchy.
And I got another t-shirt from Big Ass Sandwiches
in Portland. Big Ass Sandwiches
again. I don't know if that's appropriate.
It's great.
I had a French dip.
There you go. T-shirt.
Wow.
And I got a copy of the Hardworking Americans album.
It came out Friday, and I bought the CD,
and my CD player thing on my computer is broken now.
So I had to buy it on iTunes and give that away.
And a copy of my record again.
For one lucky winner,
and the rest of you are lucky enough to be able to purchase one on your way out
if you so choose.
You're going to be hanging out by the door?
Sure.
All right.
Come by and say hi to Jeff
and his new Batman the movie pin
that I just gave him
because I thought he might like it.
I do.
He gave it to me yesterday, and this is from the one from 89, my favorite Batman movie.
You really should watch that again.
I did.
I have.
I watch it a lot.
All right.
If you stand by that, that's great.
Good for you.
Sam, what do you got?
Well, I didn't want to disappoint the good people of Boise,
so we're starting with a triple feature.
It would be a Bob Saget film, The Farce of the Penguins.
Finally, someone took down penguins.
Bob Saget, Christina Applegate, Louis Black, Monique, Tracy Morgan, and more.
They do the voices of the penguins.
Featuring the narration of Samuel L. Jackson.
Is he doing a Morgan Freeman impression?
Pretty much.
It says right on it, not recommended for children.
No.
None of the things I have brought are for children.
Keeping with the Bob Saget theme, his HBO comedy special,
That Ain't Right.
Because it ain't.
It ain't.
Are you friendly with Bob?
Yeah.
Let's get him on here.
Sure.
I want him to do the show.
I can't believe it hasn't happened already.
Me too.
All right.
But speaking of people who have been on the show.
Speaking of people who have,
Adam Carolla's film, The Hammer.
It's a super fun movie if you haven Adam Carolla's film, The Hammer. Adam Carolla! It's a super fun movie
if you haven't seen it.
Yeah, The Hammer is really good.
Like, on the cover,
it says,
hilarious, Howard Stern.
Wouldn't it be funny
if it just said
hilarious Howard Stern?
Like, it's not a quote.
It's just reminding people
that Howard Stern's hilarious.
And then somebody else calls it pure comic gold.
But it really is entertaining.
Howard Cosell.
And they say write what you know.
And it's a movie about a guy who is a carpenter and a boxer.
Exactly right.
And those are two of his hobbies.
That was literally what he was doing before he became the Adam Garolla we know and love.
Yeah, exactly.
So he did a good job.
Then later he made a movie about being a road comic,
which he is not.
So his life became a lie.
That one bugged me.
That idea like, oh, it's so hard getting driven
from the airport to a fucking Hilton Garden Inn.
You're like, oh, the road life.
You son of a bitch.
Work a loony bin.
Do nine shows in one week, you idiot.
Yeah, the road life is much easier
when you're famous and sell places out
and you do one show and you leave.
I wouldn't know what that's like.
We'll ask Bob Saget.
We'll get Bob Saget on.
We'll ask him all about it.
All of that stuff is going in the prize bag, Boise.
See?
about it that all that stuff is going in the prize bag boy see
prize bag this is so now I want to go I want to real quickly before we get into the most recent movie you saw I would like to know from each of Emma's
offspring yeah we'll start down there on the end. Calvin, what was...
What do you think is the most adult inappropriate movie
your mom has let you watch?
Please say Caligula.
Please.
You thought of one?
I would probably say
The Thing.
No.
John Carpenter's The Thing?
Yeah.
It's very violent,
but in a fantastical way.
None of the violence is very real,
like monsters popping out
of people's chests and stuff.
So that's a good choice.
Oh, we did watch Alien.
Speaking of monsters popping out of chests.
But again, that's like the kind of violence
that never really occurs in real life, so
I don't feel like young people
shouldn't see it.
Wait, there's more?
No.
You just told me to keep talking.
Next, Arthur.
What's the most gnarly movie,
most intense movie that you've watched?
I know you guys watched Shaun of the Dead last night.
Okay, hey.
Hey.
You can stop there.
For the audience at home,
Doug just got talked to the hand.
I got a total hand in my face. I'm Arthur.
I'd say 21 Jump Street.
21 Jump Street?
Wait, hold on to the mic, dude.
I'm not done with you. What about 22 Jump Street. Do I know Jump Street? Wait, hold on to the mic, dude. I'm not done with you.
What about 22 Jump Street?
Yeah, I've watched them both.
So suck it.
I hear what you're saying.
I hear where you're coming from.
Get off my back, old man.
I've seen the Jump Streets.
Henry?
Ted 2.
Oh, shit.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
No, hang on.
Hang on.
Both of those were ones our babysitter let him watch.
And then I didn't know they had watched it
until this guy talked me into letting him watch Ted with him
because he said it was a kid's movie.
We started it and I was like, whoa, what is this?
And then he was like, we've already seen one and two.
So it was their babysitter let them watch Ted.
Why wouldn't she?
It's a movie about a teddy bear.
Yeah, it's fine.
It seems fine.
Yeah, it seems perfect.
When I was 14, I convinced my parents
that Tribe Called Quest Midnight Marauders record
was a Christian rap album.
So listen,
we've all been there.
Good job, Arthur. Yeah, it's important to have dumb
parents.
The lesson of that.
Sam, do you remember, like, the
most inappropriate thing you
watched when you were young?
Yeah, the
Kevin Dillon The Blob from inappropriate thing you watched when you were young? Yeah. The Kevin
Dylan the Blob
from 1988 when I was six.
I actually saw that in the theater.
That was R-rated?
It has to have been
because children
die in that movie.
It is messed up.
Yeah, I don't remember that.
Alright. That's cool. All right. Yeah.
That's cool.
I'm trying to think.
I mean, my parents took me to stuff from Jump.
Like, they didn't really seem to.
It was almost like, yeah, it's culture.
You'll be all right.
One of the churches we went to, let me watch, at a lock-in,
we watched Die Hard when I was 10.
That was pretty fucking cool.
Do you swear like that in front of Emma's kids
all the time? It's fine. I forget.
I wasn't...
I was looking this way, so I forgot there were kids here.
No, I had a...
When I was a new mom,
I had this brilliant idea that if you let
kids cuss at home,
then it wouldn't be like a thing.
Like it wouldn't be like a, you know, a tempting thing.
It wouldn't be a big deal, which worked great for Calvin and Henry.
Because I would be like, you know, you can use things,
but appropriately, like you can say, oh, shit, I stubbed my toe,
but you can't use it like to hurt people's feelings.
You can't say someone's a shithead.
So you could curse appropriately.
You better get him out of here before the end of the show.
This seemed like a great idea
because I was like a young hippie mom, you know?
And then Arthur came along and cussed
incessantly.
And I was like, oh, no, this was a huge mistake.
We really
crapped the bed on this one.
Well, that's what I love
about the S word is that there's
70 other ways to say it that aren't dirty,
but somehow that one is hung in there,
and, like, you're not supposed to say it,
and I think that's bullshit.
I'll say that in front of the child.
I don't care.
All right, so the more traditional question
I like to ask everybody
before we get on to the next part of the show,
and we'll start with Sam down here on this end,
is what was the last movie that you saw?
Last movie I saw was Captain America,
wait for it,
The Winter Soldier.
Oh, you dick.
Yep.
I'm a movie behind, guys.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I had a lot going on.
So you saw that to prep for going to see Civil War?
That is correct.
In a theater?
Yes.
Okay.
That makes sense.
And loved it, I assume.
Oh, yeah.
It was quite entertaining.
It might be one of the best.
Yeah.
Those Captain America movies, they're not kidding around.
Yeah.
And I don't think... I'm sorry, they're not shitting around.
They ain't fucking around, y'all.
Oh, no, Jeff, no.
I didn't get into podcasting
so that Emma would lose her children.
Settle down, you guys.
But yeah, Civil War, you're gonna love it.
I think, I assume.
Can't wait.
Yeah, a couple boring parts parts but it's cool Jeff was last movie you saw Captain America
wait Civil War didn't you say that the last time you were on the show? No, the last time I was on the show, I hadn't seen it yet.
And now I have.
I thought you did on the last one.
You know, the last time you were on
was the most recent episode of this show.
I thought you saw it earlier that day.
Okay, then let me...
I don't remember that I also watched
The Ides of March.
What? That George Clooney thing?
Yeah.
What'd you think of that?
I liked it, but it's also...
It was in Cincinnati, so I can't really tell
how much I actually liked the movie
and how much I'm just like, hey, I've been there.
Right?
I like that part where you're like,
I know where that bridge goes.
It takes place in Cincinnati?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's always exciting
when you're watching a movie
that takes place
where you live.
Yeah.
Adds an extra layer to it.
There's that movie,
Airborne.
Yeah.
Part of Rain Man.
Yeah, because Rain Man
is kind of a road movie.
Yeah.
Any idea how Shane McDermott is these days?
Oh, boy.
That's the lead from Airborne.
Dude, I think he's just teaching rollerblading classes.
Okay, sweet.
Seth Green's doing okay, though.
The local Dick's Sporting Goods.
Oh, I just thought of something.
Moving on.
Cal...
No, let's go to Henry. Sorry.
The last move. Sorry.
I meant to go in order.
Henry? Housebound.
Now that's rated R.
Was that
intense for you? No.
He's got it down, you guys.
He's not
scared of anything. What about
you, Arthur?
Captain America Civil War
you did?
yeah
you like that?
yeah
it's pretty fun right?
yeah
watching all those
watching all those superheroes fight each other
yeah
who was your favorite superhero?
yeah Who is your favorite superhero? Yeah
That's a pretty solid joke response
You gotta have one you like the best, don't you?
I hope it's Black Widow
No!
No!
It's Spider-Man.
Okay.
He's not into girls yet. It's cool.
Emma, what was the last thing you tried to watch?
We tried to go to see
Keanu last night.
Yeah.
I know. I heard about this.
There's a Keanu curse, you guys.
The white man is trying to keep Keanu down.
Go.
We went to the theater across the street,
and the movie stopped partway through,
and then we walked out,
and all the movies had stopped in the whole theater.
The whole theater broke,
and there were like two kids working there.
They were both like 16 and terrified,
and they were like, oh, sorry.
It's probably a power situation.
The manager's coming in, we don't know.
And they told us we were welcome to sit and wait for them to turn the movie back on,
and we don't have anything to do, so we did.
And the couple behind us broke up.
For reals.
Yeah, it was fantastic.
Really?
Yeah, it was pretty incredible.
Because apparently they went to a party before the movie
and he was really rude about Ghostbusters to a bunch of her friends.
Yeah, fuck him, right?
Oh, sorry, guys.
Earmuffs.
Earmuffs.
Earmuffs, guys.
Oops.
And then he was also, he didn't give her friend Robin a very proper greeting.
And then he tweeted or on Instagram made fun of her friends and wouldn't take the post down.
And she was like, they're going to see it.
They're going to know you don't like them.
And he was like, I don't give a crap.
This is an important lesson for all the kids on stage.
The women are terrible.
They will break up with you if you're not nice to their friends.
No, no, no.
The best part was right at the kind of pinnacle of the fight,
she's like, I'm leaving.
I'm leaving right now.
And he goes, I'll give you 10 bucks if you don't leave.
10 bucks.
She walked away from that money.
Just walked away.
Did he not have a 20?
Yeah, why did he yell 20 as she's walking away?
What if he only had 20 but also wanted soda?
He's like, oh, can you make change?
Yeah, can you break 100?
Yeah, it was pretty great.
But we didn't get to see the movie.
Wait, because you didn't get to see the movie wait
you didn't wait long enough
we sat for like 15-20 minutes and then we finally
was like eh and we went over to Bitter Creek and had dinner
instead and that was it we didn't get to see the movie
they did not ever fix it apparently
they didn't fix it for a couple hours
how many minutes into the movie was it
probably like 20-25 maybe
okay well
like right had just started and they were like, oh my god, they stole
the cat. And then there was a weed dealer and he was like, oh,
it's all so exciting.
Candy. A guy who
sells candy. Sorry, a candy dealer.
A candy dealer.
No, actually,
you guys are very sweet,
but my kids know what weed is. They listen to
the show and right before we came out, Henry goes, man,
Doug's on a lot of weed.
So, they, man, Doug's on a lot of weed. So...
They, uh...
They know what's going on.
It sounds like they're aware of weed,
but only, like, in that, like,
reefer madness sort of,
I think he's on a lot of pot.
Why does it smell like
jazz music down here, guys?
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Yeah, Calvin one time said,
I know what 420 means.
And I said, what?
And he goes, drugs.
Well, you know, I don't, you know, I don't want to educate your children,
but it's not a catch-all for drugs in general, Calvin.
What was the last movie Calvin saw?
I saw Shaun of the Dead.
For a movie podcast.
Yeah, because you guys, you and mom, Emma,
have a podcast where you watch
horror movies and talk about them?
Yeah.
What's it called?
All Gone Now Spooky.
All right.
And how many episodes have you done?
Ten.
Ten.
And your mom does most of the talking?
Yeah.
Maybe.
But that's awesome. Shaun of the Dead, is that one of your favorites now?
Yeah, it's pretty funny. Yeah, I didn't mean to force it on you or anything.
But it is a pretty good movie I think you're ready to see
It's not a horror movie but now you should watch
Hot Fuzz
I already saw Hot Fuzz
I already saw Hot Fuzz
Okay cool
Have you seen the World's End
Nope
Check that one out
I recommend it.
And then you will have seen the Cornetto Trilogy.
Which doesn't mean anything to you,
but maybe someday it will.
Cornetto means drugs.
Boy, it seems like Calvin turned into a hostile witness.
It's kind of weird to...
Have any of your children been on stage before, Emma?
Um, just...
Oh, you have?
We apparently have.
Oh, yeah.
The one that's waving wildly.
Yeah, I have.
Yeah?
When?
Yeah, what were you on stage for? Some sort of recital. Did, I have. Yeah? When? Yeah?
What were you on stage for?
Sort of recital.
Did you walk school?
School?
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, for a talent show?
Yeah.
I just meant like on stage,
like just in front of a room full of drunken adults.
Oh.
Arthur was on AM Northwest with me.
He was on TV the other day on his birthday.
Yeah, in Portland.
That was fun to see him on there. He told a joke.
And he had a baby Chewbacca
with him too. Yeah.
Tell the joke to everybody, Arthur.
Do you guys want to hear a pizza joke?
Yeah!
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
That ruins half of my act if you can't say things that are too cheesy.
Oh, we have someone in the front row
who enjoyed it a great deal.
She's probably sad that there's not jokes anymore
inside Cracker Jack.
Oh, wait, there's no prizes.
They might still
have a joke in there. I don't know.
I haven't had Cracker Jacks in a real long
time. Oh, they're so good.
A close for Cracker Jacks.
Alright, so
enough of that. This is the part of the show where I say
let the games begin!
Now, here's a fun element in the show today.
Sam and Jeff are two of the greatest contenders
in the games on Douglas movies
in the history of everything.
So I decided that Emma and her family
are going to team up,
and they're going to represent one player,
four brains working together
to try to take down Jeff and Sam.
So let's see your name tags.
And lady and gentleman,
go ahead and pick who you want to play for.
It's kind of quite a drop from the stage,
so maybe you could just point to one you like and they can bring it to you.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after these messages.
Hey, you guys.
Today's episode is brought to you by our fiends at Shudder.
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We're back!
Emma, speak for the group and tell us who you're playing for.
The boys saw donuts and they picked donuts.
So we're playing for Jim.
Jim Donuts.
Jim the Donuts.
And do you want to save those donuts for later, Arthur?
Do you want to throw them?
Do you want to throw some of them?
All right.
It's finally come down to children throwing donuts at adults.
If you each want to grab one and just chuck it into the crowd.
Oh, they're all just simple glazed donuts, so it won't be too messy.
There's no chocolate involved.
No, it doesn't have to be gentle, Emma.
That's not how it's done.
Chuck it hard.
Stop throwing them gently.
Stop throwing gently.
I am your mother today, and I'm telling you.
Yeah, throw them hard.
Do another one.
Come on, Henry.
Calvin whipping it into the crowd.
Now it's getting out of control.
It's so dangerous.
Wow.
Make sure you save some for later.
Okay, good.
Great job, you guys.
Who are you playing for, Jeff?
I'm playing for, I'm guessing it's Leal.
Is it Leal?
Yeah, Leal Magnolias.
It's Leal like Neal, but with an L.
Yeah.
I learned that on Twitter today.
That's a pretty amazing poster.
And I'm on Dolly Parton, which is pretty dope.
That might be a joke about my bust size.
Let me get a picture of that one, Jeff.
Point it in my direction.
There you go.
But hold it up a little.
I want your face.
There you go.
Leo Magnolias.
I love it.
And he figured out that you and him are going to be here.
Because you're on there.
Yeah, he did a good job.
Sam was a real wild card, but yet, somehow...
Yeah, yet somehow, Laurel of the Rings figured out that Emma, Jeff, and me would all be here.
Took a shot on D.C. Pearson.
Did not pan out.
Did not.
D.C. Pearson's girlfriend, I believe, is from here.
So that was a pretty good guess.
Laurel of the Rings, the fellowship
of the podcast is what this
is.
This is you, Laurel?
Is that you?
Who's that? Oh, Claire Kramer.
Apologies to Claire Kramer
for not recognizing her.
But I was just excited that somebody that pretty
made a name tag.
The context was wrong to recognize.
You gandled up DC in this.
With the gray.
Yeah, no, you really did a great job with that.
And I took a picture of it and I'll tweet it out there
for people to see.
And good job to everyone.
And thank you for making
my instincts
that you would be a great
Doug Loves Movies crowd here correct.
Right?
If this was just me doing a stand-up show,
there'd be a lot of dickheads here.
No, it works either way.
I love playing in this place.
I've been filmed performing in this very club
two times
for the High Road, which you can find
if you go on YouTube or whatever.
But then also Super Jaime's has...
Oh no, no, I was across the street
at what used to be the Funny Bone in Super Jaime.
But it was still this neighborhood, and I love it here,
and I'll always keep coming back.
Super fun town to watch people get too drunk on Saturday night.
That was what I did
last night.
Just watching people stag around and the cops
just shake their heads.
We have to control this somehow.
All right, so we're going to play some games,
and then we're going to, you know,
get on with our lives after that.
I don't know why I had to say
what's going to happen next after the games.
I am flying out tomorrow,
so there's going to be
not an after party,
but the nice folks at the
is it called Double Tap?
Double Tap Pub
across the street said, yeah, come over.
And I'm like, can you fit like a couple
hundred people in there? And they're like,
we can fit about 60.
Yeah.
So to bring the numbers down,
I'm not gonna go over there right away.
So those of you who wait for an undetermined amount of time
to meet me over at that bar, I will see you there.
That's you? Okay.
Might be two, three hours.
I might go catch a screening of Civil War
if that theater can get their shit together.
I'm sorry, if they can fucking get their shit together.
See, those were out of frustration, Emma.
It's totally fine.
Yeah, it's proper usage.
I'm fine with it.
You didn't say anything mean.
Right, yeah.
Don't use it angrily.
Well, that was kind of angry, but don't use it angrily against a person. Right, it's against a corporation, and corporations aren't people. angrily. Well, that was kind of angry, but... It's a hurt feeling. You don't use it to hurt feelings.
It's against a corporation, and corporations aren't people.
Oh, wait.
It's like the rules of PG-13.
You can say it once or twice, I think,
if it's not in a sexual context.
Yeah.
You know, if it's just like, fuck that.
Yeah.
But if you're pointing at a person and saying the same thing,
that's wrong.
I like this.
I should be in charge of teaching more children.
I should also stop calling you guys children,
because you don't like that, do you?
No.
Children don't think they're children.
Young adults is a stupid expression.
Calvin, have you read a young adult novel yet?
Do you even know what that is?
Have you read Twilight?
Hey, first of all, if he read Twilight,
I'd kick him off the stage.
But you know what I mean?
Like our friend D.C. Pearson, we just mentioned,
he wrote something called Crap Kingdom
that I think you would enjoy.
I've never would enjoy. I don't know what I'm talking about.
I think young adult novels are not...
Just see the film Young Adult starring Patton Oswalt and Charlize Theron.
You'll be fine.
You like Charlize Theron?
It's weird how the phrase adult novel
conjures up one image
and then young adult novel is literally the opposite.
Yeah, and those are really the only kinds of novels there are.
There's like Jack Reacher books.
What category does that fit in? None. It's on its own. Jack Reacher books. Yeah. What category does that fit in?
None.
It's on its own.
Jack Reacher-round books.
Oh, boy.
Some things are not for joking about, Sam.
Let's go down the line.
Who knows what reach-around means?
That guy in the audience raised his hand.
You know, they don't know what it means, but I'm raising givers. That guy in the audience raised his hand.
You know, they don't know what it means,
but I'm raising givers, so... They will.
Yeah.
Well done.
They will be reach-arounders.
All right, you guys.
Let's start with a game I like to call
Jason and Deb's IMDb Game.
Let's start with a game I like to call Jason and Deb's IMDB game.
We're playing to five points, or whichever team has the most points after seven rounds.
Do you think the family knows how this one works, Emma?
No.
Arthur's out, but you might be able to help.
You'll be able to help.
Just whisper it to your mom if you think you know the answer.
And basically what I'm going to do is I'm going to name some movies from someone's top four on the IMDB page on the Internet.
And as soon as you think you know the actor, you can buzz in.
And then you get bonus points
for naming the other films
that are in the top four.
Sam, are you ready?
Yes, sir.
That's a cocky attitude,
how low you had your microphone.
Just to refresh me, we buzz have been saying our own name.
Yeah, say your own name.
Emma will say her name if any of her...
Young adults.
Flock.
Flock.
Oh, I like flock.
If any of these flockers knows...
thinks they know the answer, they can...
What about a swarm and since you're
sharing mics with Jeff Henry don't be afraid to just run over to your ma and
say I know the answer and work it out that way cuz Jeff's gonna be a real
stingy yeah cuz I I think Jeff and Sam still
both really want to win.
Which is really
great when you're playing against young people.
I would love to lose to Emma and her flock.
I'm here to crush butts.
Hey!
No!
No. That's our thing.
Hey, Arthur,
hand the mic to Arthur for a second.
What do you think of Uncle Jeff smoking cigarettes all the time?
What should he do about that?
Do more of it.
No!
All right. You got to double your intake, Jeff.
No.
If you want to go have a cigarette right now, you can.
No. The reason he's saying that is because Jeff tried to quit at our house two days ago and was a beast.
And the kids were like, maybe you should go back to smoking.
You were terrible when you were trying to quit?
No.
What I did was I ran out of smokes and then I just, I had a lot of candy.
out of smokes and then I just like I had a I had a lot of candy so I was being a little short with my responses but only because I didn't want to get tangled up
into a real long conversation since since I was a little flighty because of
the candy Sam Woody Harrelson all right here we go here we go the first We're not playing yet, Stan. I'm doing it wrong.
Alright, here we go.
Here we go.
The first movie.
Who do you guys think I'm talking about when I say that the first movie
of their top four on IMDb
is Finding Nemo?
Henry said off mic, I hate this game.
Thanks for coming.
No guesses, which is smart because you can... Ellen DeGeneres?
You got to say your name first.
Oh, I'm Emma? No.
Buzz in with your own name.
Emma.
Or Team Emma.
Team Arnold. Yeah. Team Arnold.
Yeah, Team Arnold.
And that's your guess, Ellen DeGeneres?
Yes.
Incorrect.
Okay.
Really helps the other two guys,
because the next movie is Drive.
Sam.
Should have done it earlier.
Well, you know, on the first movie,
you're taking a chance
Negative one point
Jeff
Sam
The actor is Albert Brooks
Albert Brooks is correct
Sam gets a point
And then Sam
Name two more Albert Brooks movies
He's been in some great stuff
He's been in some amazing movies
He's a great guy.
Hard to not like him. This is a tough one.
He has so many on there.
Yeah.
Tell the truth.
I'm going to say, I don't think Concussion's on there.
But I think, I don't know, let's say Lost in America.
No.
Great movie, though.
Great movie. You lost in this though. And Defending Your Life?
Yes.
Defending Your Life made the cut, so you get two points.
And Taxi Driver.
Wow!
That's the other one they threw in there.
There you go.
Alright, two points for Sam.
Zip and zip for Jeff and Team Arnold.
Here comes the next one.
No matter how much you hate it.
The first movie,
Ferris Bueller's Day
Off.
People in the audience know people
who are in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Smart crowd.
The next movie,
The Lion King.
Sam.
Sam.
Matthew Broderick?
That's correct.
Now, Sam.
Yeah.
You're in a very interesting position right now.
Mm-hmm.
And I wish you'd stop it,
because it's too sexual for the audience.
Fair enough.
No, you, uh...
If you could name two more...
It's not a two more. If you can name two more... It's not a two more. If you can name
two more Matthew Broderick
films, you will win
this particular game.
I doubt I will be able to name two.
I think I'll be lucky if I can get one.
You're going to take a shot. I feel like you're going to
give it your best.
Thank you, audience, for not yelling stuff out.
Another reason why I like you.
This isn't going to happen.
I'm going to say
the other Matthew Roderick movie
on there.
Two more.
Two more.
God damn it.
The audience is very encouraging.
You guys don't understand.
The top four on a person's IMDb,
there's so many factors.
It's a strange metric.
Somebody wrote to me recently saying
it's their top four most clicked on movies.
But no, it's really complicated
how they figure out what these top four are.
So I'm going to say...
One of my top four, if you go to my page,
is a film I didn't even know I was in
I'll say
Election
No
And it should be
It has to be other than Ferris Bueller
Probably the best movie he's been in
2005's The Producers than Ferris Bueller probably. The best movie he's been in.
2005's The Producers.
Oh.
When you said the date, I thought for some reason you would say the right thing.
But I don't know when this came out, but he was in
the last
the previous
to the most recent
terrible Godzilla.
Oh, right.
That was 1998.
Roland Emmerich, yeah.
And then he was standing next to
Oscar Gold when he
appeared in the movie Glory.
Oh.
Which I'm pretty sure Denzel Washington
won the Oscar for.
He sure did.
Okay, then I'm right.
Alright, so Sam is at three points.
He's two away from the win.
But Jeff is always a strong contender.
And then there's the whole family over there,
the whole fam-dam-ly.
The first movie for this next actor or actress is The Lion King.
Okay, nobody wants to take a chance.
I'd recommend taking a chance at some point because Sam is very close to the win.
And then the second movie is called Die Hard with a Vengeance.
Jeff. Oh, there he is.
What is it?
Jeremy Irons. That's correct.
Jeff is on the board with a point.
Can you name two other
Jeremy Irons movies?
Or any movie that have irons in them
like any movie with housekeeping
Batman vs.
Superman, Dawn of Justice
and
Stealing Beauty
I don't
okay
one of those was correct
which one of those do you think was correct?
Batman vs. Superman Batman vs. Superman I have a question One of those was correct. Which one of those do you think was correct? Batman, Superman.
Yeah, Batman versus Superman.
I have a question.
Am I interrupting?
Am I interrupting?
Because that lady seems to answer
every one of your questions,
and so I'm getting confused
if you were talking to me or her.
Because she keeps answering questions.
She's very active for some reason.
Maybe now she'll stop.
You never know.
Batman vs. Superman, Dawn of Justice is correct.
And then...
Like, now I don't even understand.
Oh, okay, I get it.
Man in the Iron Mask.
Oh. I scribbled this down in the Iron Mask. Oh.
Yeah, I scribbled this down in a way that I was like,
the next person, I was like, he's not in that.
I was like, confused.
All right, so you got one of those, so you have two points.
Two points, Sam.
Team Arnold.
You see me right in your rear view.
It's time to rise up.
Make this happen, Team Arnold.
We're just, you know, this is part of the strategy.
No, I like it.
I like a come-behind victory.
PG.
PG-13. PG-13.
I didn't...
Okay.
Some of you made that dirty, I think.
All right.
The next one
starts with
the Lion King.
Tried to make this...
For the kids.
Yeah.
Yep.
I tried to make this young person friendly.
That lady still, she really still keeps going.
If you're going to do it, at least yell out your name first.
And don't just be an asshole throwing out answers.
If you're going to play the game for some reason.
The listeners can't hear her, though, so we just sound insane that we're just talking about somebody.
Okay, but Emma.
Emma's going to buzz in? Yeah, but I was going to say this before she shouted that're just talking about somebody. Okay, but Emma. Emma's going to buzz in?
Yeah, but I was going to say this before she shouted that, just so you know.
Okay.
And I almost said it on the last one for Lion King.
But I also can't remember if I have the name right,
or maybe this is maybe the guy who killed Kennedy.
So hang on.
You're so close to that second thing,
but you have the wrong victim.
No, it's not Kennedy?
Wrong victim.
Oh, okay.
You're the wrong victim.
James Earl Jones.
That's correct.
But seriously,
the lady that yelled out Darth Vader,
you have to stop saying things out loud.
You have to stop. Can you loud. You have to stop.
Can you promise?
Okay, thank you.
You appear to have a companion with you.
In this case, I'm happy that you helped Team Arnold.
No, I really was going to guess it on the last line.
But that was a really good clue to yell out Darth Vader.
All right, so Team Arnold gets one point.
Yeah.
And now the three of you need to confer,
because I'm sure they're big James Earl Jones fans,
to come up with three more movies
that had James Earl Jones in them.
Okay.
Jeff really enjoys it when I try to name Star Wars movies,
so I'm going to go with A New Hope.
Nope, maybe just Star Wars.. So I'm going to go with A New Hope. Nope. Maybe just Star Wars.
One of those is right.
A New Hope is incorrect.
The Empire Strikes Back
is also incorrect.
Green Mind?
The woman cannot stop herself.
You can't tell people whether they're right or wrong.
You can't say anything.
Like, try saying no words out loud.
See how that works for you.
Pretend this is a library.
Jedi Returns?
What?
Jedi Returns?
Or Returning Jedi?
Return of the Jedi.
Return of the Jedi is correct.
Woo!
Return of the Jedi.
Return of the Jedi is correct.
So now you have two points.
You're tied with Jeff, Sam has three,
and the remaining two movies are James Earl Jones.
Do you want to take a crack at it, Sam?
I do.
Oh, Jeff does.
Field of Dreams?
No.
That's why it's so weird.
Like, that one should be on there.
How about... Sandlot. Don't say from the audience, please. But Sand why it's so weird. Like, that one should be on there. How about... Sandlot.
Don't say from the audience, please.
But Sandlot was a good guess.
The Hunt for Red October.
No.
They went Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.
Yeah.
And Conan the Barbarian.
Quite a metric.
That is quite the metric.
Yeah.
It doesn't make any sense.
Yeah. That's why I love it. All right. Here's the the metric. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Yeah.
That's why I love it.
All right, here's the next one.
It's a very close game.
I'm excited.
Yep.
The Lion King.
Okay, Sam.
Nathan Lane.
No.
Not cool, Sam. Nathan Lane. No. Not cool, bro.
Sam is knocked back to two points.
We have a three-way tie.
I want these kids to win so bad.
And someone just yelled three-way.
Do you know there are children up here?
All right.
Here's the next one
for Emma or Jeff.
Sam is out for this round.
It's a motion
picture called Cars.
That's right. Two animated
things back to back. Lion King
and Cars.
Jeff. Who's in both of those, Jeff?
The other
guy with Nathan Lane.
Ernie Sabato.
Ernie Sabella?
I think is his name.
Yeah.
You guys would know him best as
Leon Carosi from the Malibu
Sands episodes of Saved by the Bell.
Sam, don't give me help. I have to name the other
two things he's on.
No, you're wrong.
It's not Ernest.
You're straight up wrong.
What's wrong with you?
You're not back to one point, Jeff.
You're in third place now.
Stop throwing out things, you guys.
The third thing.
This is just for Sam now, I guess.
No, it's just for me. No, we're both out. Oh, you're both out. This is just you, Emma. This is just for Sam now, I guess. No, it's just for me.
Just for Emma.
We're both out.
Oh, you're both out.
This is just you, Emma.
This is just me.
Sorry.
This is a TV show that they throw in there because they'll do that too.
They don't care.
I would care because I am DB and I would care.
Is it Saved by the Bell?
Because then Jeff's back in.
Nobody's back in.
Just Emma gets this. Nash
Bridges. I don't know.
A lot of knowing laughs in the crowd. Would you like
the last one? Yes, please.
You're offspring or not fans of Nash Bridges?
Desperado.
I know, right?
Do you want to try to guess something?
Yes.
Emma, Dave's not here, man.
Feels like this whole show just went up in smoke.
You know I'm from East LA, right?
I was born there.
That's correct.
Good old Cheech Marin.
How'd you guess that?
I don't know.
I told you, we've been training.
So Team Arnold has three points.
Sam has two.
Jeff has one.
And let's start the next round.
The Lion King.
Who would you like to guess, Sam?
If it's not Nathan Lane, I'm leaving.
Nathan Lane.
That's correct.
All right.
I could have gone Whoopi Goldberg.
You could have.
Yeah, all right.
JTT.
All right.
So Nathan Lane.
So Sam has three points now.
So if he can name two out of these three
remaining Nathan Lane vehicles,
then he is golden.
I'm going to say The Birdcage.
Correct.
2005's
The Producers.
Also correct.
You want to say one more
just to rub it in?
The People vs. O.J. Simpson?
No.
They didn't go TV because they had the cinematic classic Mouse Hunt. One more just to rub it in. The People versus OJ Simpson? No.
They didn't go TV because they had the cinematic classic,
Mouse Hunt.
You ever, Calvin, you ever see Mouse Hunt?
Never in my life.
Never in your short life?
Is it like Ratatouille?
You guys might like it. Might be fun. Is it like Ratatouille? You guys might like it.
Might be fun.
Is it like Ratatouille?
It's like Ratatouille if everyone was running around trying to kill Ratatouille.
So it's like a real life version.
We're all trying to stop him from being alive.
But isn't that like the actual plot of Ratatouille?
I think they don't like that there's a rat in the kitchen,
but some are impressed by his chef skills.
But isn't there like a guy trying to kill him?
Probably. You're right.
I guess I should give all five points to Calvin.
By all means.
By all means.
Do you get a lot of bullshit Calvin and Hobbes jokes in school,
or is that common sense?
Oh, I get so much.
Oh, my God.
So much.
I'm sorry I brought it up.
So much.
They should have thought of that when they were naming him.
Not even funny.
Just too much.
That's really negligent parenting.
Too much.
Too many.
All right, let's play another game.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
Alright, let's play another game. Let's play Last Man Stanton.
Alright, we got 20 minutes left,
so that's a good window of time to make this happen.
The person whose name tag you chose tonight,
this afternoon, is your lifeline.
So if you ever need to just get some help from the audience,
you've got to go to that one person whose name tag you picked.
So whoever gave you those donuts, Emma, is your lifeline.
And Jeff and Sam, Laurel of the Rings is Sam's lifeline.
Jeff, what's the name on your name tag?
Leo.
Oh, yeah, Leo, like Neil, but with an L.
Leo Young.
And I saw you on Twitter today, Leo,
saying I've got a perfect name for Last Man's Den,
and I would feel bad that I'm not going to you,
but it worked out pretty good because your name tag got picked.
So you're in this.
So why go to you?
It's the perfect time to not go to you.
But also, real quickly,
if it's all right with everybody,
please indulge me.
I wrote down two more rounds of the IMDb game,
so it'd be fun to just try them and see what happens.
Yeah!
So let's do that.
Frozen.
Jeff.
Who is it?
Josh Gad.
That's correct.
Let's do another round.
The Wedding Ring?
Frozen.
Oh.
Yeah, I know you know more Josh Gad movies.
Sam?
Yeah.
Kristen Bell?
Correct!
I bet I can tell you one of the movies
that is not listed in her top four on IMDb.
Yes, the movie you co-starred with her in
called Pulse is not in her top four.
Not in there.
You did not make it.
Nope.
No, they put both Veronica Mars in there.
Yes.
Yep.
The TV show and the movie.
They chose wisely.
Yeah, they forgot Pulse,
but they are not forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Oh.
Hmm.
All right, let's play Last Man Standing.
There's a person in the audience
who swore to me on the internet,
which makes it, you know, you gotta step up, that they have a great name for Last Man Stanton. There's a person in the audience who swore to me on the internet, which makes it, you know, you've got to step up,
that they have a great name for Last Man Stanton.
Emma and the gang, do you know how Last Man Stanton works?
Whoever they name, everybody has to take turns naming movies.
Oh, even the kids, or we're just doing teams?
No, no, you're still a team.
You can still work together.
But Sam won the
last thing, so he gets to go first.
And then... Can I ask you
a really weird strategy question?
Please. Can I defer and go last?
What does that mean?
Well, mathematically speaking,
that means I'm the first person to name
a movie, and if there's a finite number of movies,
and then it gets to Jeff or you, and then it's back to me,
technically I've named the same number of movies,
but we're out of movies, and then I can't win.
I would.
What?
Sam, you should have brought that up at the pre-show meeting.
I probably should have.
You get to go first, because that's the easiest position to be in
for at least getting through one round as being the first one to name a movie.
And then, you know, it gets progressively harder,
but that's why you got your lifeline.
Sure.
I think it works all right the way it is.
It's an interesting question.
All right.
The rules committee meets in December.
It's an interesting question, but fuck you.
Asked and answered.
All right.
This guy's writing a story on the internet
right now about your
damn question.
Wow, so you just showed it to us?
It's going to be on Deadspin.
Sam Levine dares to ask Doug Benson a question.
In Idaho.
All right.
That is a good point, though.
We'll discuss it further later.
Okay.
In our free time.
Very well.
Sagan Baggins.
Where are you at?
Probably the guy that went woo.
That's your name on Twitter.
Why do I recognize that name?
Have we interacted before on Twitter? I had the category for...
Sometime today,
Saggin' Baggins.
Top 86, category for
He's already
gotten involved in the show somehow. Let's leave it at that.
Good job.
I think he meant to say, yes, you have interacted
before.
Yeah, I recognize the name Saggin' Baggins.
But since I recognize the name,
I figured you're somebody that really listens
and pays attention to the show
and would suggest the perfect name
for us to play
in this game.
Michael Fassbender.
Michael Fassbender?
No. Now, let's just say
that there wasn't
people under 14 years of age on stage.
Let's say if there wasn't, it would still be a pretty fucking tough name.
And also, do you hear me saying on the show, sagging baggins, a person with a ton of credits?
He's got 20 at most, and half of those are British television
programs.
Sam's making faces. How many
do you think he has? Of straight
films? Yeah. At least
15. Yeah. Around
there. Yeah. That's a little less than
20. He's got more than that.
Says sagging, fucking bagging.
I think I might know two
if I'm even thinking of the right person.
Shame on you.
Which is not my clue.
He's got a giant
elephant? Yes.
In his pants. I was thinking of the wrong guy.
I was thinking of a wrong, I was
thinking of a guy with a tiny elephant.
Can we have another name?
Yeah, we definitely have to do another name,
but maybe save that for a rainy day.
Oh, today it's raining, so never say it again.
I think we should at least find out
who Leel was going to say.
No, because he's got his name tag on stage. That's not fair.
I mean, it happens sometimes,
but... Okay, Leo,
what were you gonna say?
Don Cheadle.
He's gonna go Don Cheadle, who I recently played
poker with, which was very fun.
He's been in a lot more movies than
Michael Fassbender. It's kind of a tough one, but I'm looking over at Emma like,
no, the Arnold
household does not like movies
with black people in them.
That's why we walked out of
Keanu last night.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You walked out. You didn't make the effort.
There's a gentleman right there
who raised his hand very politely
And I bet you he's got the perfect name
Bradley Cooper
Bradley Cooper
I don't love it but we're gonna do it
Are you sure you don't want to do Adam Sandler
Because that's who we studied
You study Adam Sandler
We are definitely doing Adam Sandler
Adam Sandler.
Adam Sandler, okay.
I love it.
I love that they're prepared for one name and came here hoping maybe that's the one that'll come up.
But I'm so excited to do Adam Sandler.
The team is getting together over there.
I think you guys might lose. I should probably
step out
and let you guys do it.
But I'll play along. So starting with Sam,
any Adam Sandler movie?
Billy Madison. And that's right.
I said Sandler.
Billy M.
All the way back, almost to the beginning.
Not quite.
I'll go with
the Waterboy.
Because that one,
I think that one's
one of the dirtier ones.
Have you guys seen Waterboy?
We have seen Waterboy.
Yeah.
You've seen every
Adam Sandler movie?
We've seen a few.
Because there's some
R-rated ones in there.
Yep.
Yeah.
Okay.
Go ahead, Team Arnold.
Happy Gilmore. Yes.
The price is right, bitch.
I mean, they've already heard it being said, so
I'm not... I'm just repeating what
they already know.
Jeff?
Bulletproof.
Yes.
With Damon Wayans Sr.
Sam?
That's my boy!
It sure is.
By the way, legally, that's how you have to say the title of that movie.
What?
Legally, you have to say the title that way.
That's my boy!
That's correct. When I saw the poster for that movie, I thought itally, you have to say the title that way. That's my boy! That's correct. Okay.
When I saw the poster for that movie, I thought
it was like they had switched heads.
And I thought it was a movie where they switched heads
like a Freaky Friday head swap thing.
And so, now Andy
Sandberg's gonna walk around and Adam Sandler's
like dumb, fatso, idiot body.
Like, oh, what do I do?
Right? Because that's how they're dressed on the poster.
I mean, Adam acts like a silly person, but fatso?
He's like a slob or whatever.
He's in good shape, usually, that guy.
But that's my personal experience.
I was working out in a gym in Adam Sandler's apartment one time, and I threw my back out,
and he was like, what?
All right.
He's like, lift this.
I'm like, oh, my back.
All right, I'm gonna go with
The Ridiculous Six.
Yeah, exclusive on Netflix. Exclusive on Netflix.
Pixels.
Oh, Pixels.
Good call.
All right.
Jeff.
The Wedding Singer.
Click.
I'm going to go with the cobbler.
The cobbler.
Team Arnold.
Spanglish.
What did he say?
Spanglish.
Spanglish? Did you guys see Spanglish? No. I saw? Spanglish. Spanglish?
Did you guys see Spanglish?
No.
I saw it.
Yeah.
There's no reason for anybody to watch.
I mean, yeah, okay.
Jeff?
Little Nicky.
Yes.
Good one.
Jack and Jill. Mm-hmm. Did anyone see Jack and Jill.
Does anyone seem Jack and Jill?
There's no reason to get in.
We're not here to criticize.
The only real comedy Pacino has ever appeared in.
And boy, did he pick the wrong one.
He seemed to be having a great time, though. He seemed to be having a great time, though.
He seemed to be having a great time
hitting on a man in a way.
All right, I'm going to say
Mixed Nuts.
Pulled out an obscure one.
Directed by the late Nora Ephron.
Team Arnold?
Punch Drunk Love.
Oh.
Just a family favorite.
Yeah.
The kids gravitate towards movies with drunk in the title.
They love Hard to Stop Him because they love a drunk person.
They love Robert Smigel cameos.
Yeah.
Who doesn't?
Right? Big Daddy.
Big Daddy, indeed.
Sam, let's do this in rapid succession.
Grown-ups.
Oh, okay, grown-ups too.
Okay, let's say grown-ups too.
Do Spiglo.
Team Arnold.
Do Spiglo European vacation.
Spiglo European vacation. No, you do Spiglo. Spiglo. Wait, what's happening? Doniglo European vacation.
Spiglo.
Wait, what's happening?
Don't let him talk.
Do Spiglo European vacation.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
No, European.
No, it's not a vacation, is it?
It's European sexy times.
European touching bumping uglies.
European paying money for
Don't yell out audience
Let's work this out on stage
No, European gigolo?
Deuce Bigelow European gigolo is what I meant to say
Is there a number in there?
I was Deuce Bigelow 2
European gigolo
I think that sounds right
I'm going to accept it
I was actually letting you know
some of the alternate titles they considered.
We'll talk to the corrections department
later.
Go ahead, Jeff.
We have to think of a couple more.
Ah, shit.
Dirty Work.
Dirty Work, yeah.
Is there like a cameo in there?
Yeah, he plays the devil when Norm Macdonald
tries out
a drug test thing.
Don't yell out anymore.
People are trying to say things
from the audience.
I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.
Yes!
I'm going to go with Airheads.
Back to Team Arnold.
Don't forget, you have a lifeline when you need it.
Funny People.
Funny People, that's correct.
Funny People, that's correct.
Funny People.
Adam and Judd Apatow were roommates
when I used to hang around with them.
That's the one movie they worked on together.
50 First Dates.
Yes, of course.
50 First Dates.
Blended.
Blended.
Why not do all of the Drew Barrymore movies?
I'm going to go with Eight Crazy Nights.
Which might be a good clue for the next player.
You can do it, Team Arnold.
Let's go!
I think we have to use our lifeline.
Okay.
But maybe later other titles will help you to think of something else.
So, yeah, that's a good call.
Let's go to the lifeline.
Where are you at?
Jim, where are you?
There he is.
Rain on me.
Do you have one?
Rain on me.
Rain on me.
You're going to go with that?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's correct.
Thank you, Jim.
That's the wrong title. What? Wait, Jim. That's the wrong title.
What?
Wait, wait.
That's the wrong title.
What?
What?
Oh.
Oh, rain.
Wait, who's saying that?
Is it the person, Lifeline is saying it correctly now?
Yeah.
And you said it wrong the first time?
Get your shit together, Lifeline.
We don't need no fucking shitty Lifelines.
We trust you.
So you want to go with rain on me or over me?
Not the audience.
It's not the Priceless Light.
It's not up to you guys.
Only the lifelines get to speak.
Please don't make me not want to come back here.
Yeah, exactly.
You were a great audience until like a few minutes ago.
You all started yelling shit out,
and it's not time yet.
Emma, what are you going with?
Uh, Jim.
And the lady that has to respond to everything said sorry because other people were now yelling out.
Do you see how you were a bad example?
And I put you in your place, and then others followed.
And she's still followed. She's still
sorry. She's still saying
things. What are you going with,
Emma? We're going with over.
Rain over me is correct.
I didn't know.
I know. Just, you know, rain on me is the
Who song from Quadrophenia. Come on,
guys. There you go.
The Who song is also
called rain over me.
I'm positive of that.
Because Pearl Jam covered it for the movie.
It says Rain On Me.
Rain On Me is what it's called when I'm working the stripper pole.
Jeff.
I'm going to say...
Going Overboard.
Oh, wow.
That was one of my secrets.
Super deep on that one.
That was one of his first appearances.
As long as we're doing the... Oh, we're going to stay deep?
No, no, I'm staying in the cameo
of his buddy's movies,
The Animal.
He's in The Animal?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm going to have to trust you on that.
When they go to lynch him at the end of the movie, he's in the crowd.
Okay.
I don't remember, but I'll live with it.
And then I'm going to go with, oh, shit.
Don't mess with the Zohan.
Don't mess with the Zohan. Don't mess with the Zohan.
You're missing a word.
You don't mess with the Zohan?
All right, I'm out.
No, we've got to end this somehow.
He's made a lot of movies, that guy.
He really has.
Team Arnold, they're back in it.
Click.
Oh, you were so excited.
But Sam said that earlier.
No, we didn't hear you.
Yeah, you can do another one.
Confer some more.
Go ahead.
Click two of the remotes.
I heard one from the audience earlier that I haven't said
because that would be cheating.
You have it?
Okay, go ahead.
Bedtime Stories.
Bedtime Stories!
That's right!
Good job!
You guys probably watch that every night.
Jeff?
I had a good early one, too, when I fucked up
and didn't say, you don't mess with the Zohan.
The hot chick.
Oh, yeah, he's like,
isn't he like a Rastafarian?
You can do it!
He's dressed like Rob Schneider is usually dressed. Oh, yeah, he's like, isn't he like a Rastafarian? He goes, you can do it! In that moment. He's dressed like Rob Schneider is usually dressed.
Oh, okay.
Like a hobo who hasn't had hot food in weeks.
Sam?
I'm going to say, I'm going to go to my lifeline.
Who?
What's the lifeline got?
Is Mr. Deeds?
No, no one has said Mr. Deeds.
Thank you very much, Laura. Very good job. Mr. Deeds said Mr. Deeds. Thank you very much, Laura.
Very good job.
Mr. Deeds.
Mr. Deeds.
That's how we do this.
No Mr. Deeds goes unpunished.
Now we're back to the Arnolds.
They've used their lifeline.
Sam's used his.
Jeff is the only one remaining with a lifeline,
so that's going to be tough.
Nine crazy nights?
Was that you?
You came up with that one, Emma?
Don't blame that one on your family.
That was your clever answer.
That was mine.
All right, you guys are out, but great job.
Jeff?
Anger management.
Yes, of course.
Became a great Charlie Sheen vehicle.
Sandler, Sheen, yeah, same thing.
Not really.
What do you got, Sam?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Oh, yeah?
All right.
Going to the hole.
Shakes the clown.
Yes, that's the early one I thought of.
Yeah, shakes the clown.
Jeff?
Lifeline.
You said you're out of budget.
What's your lifeline say?
Hotel Transylvania.
Hotel Transylvania.
Hotel Transylvania.
I know what Sam's going to say. Hotel Transylvania. Hotel Transylvania. I know what Sam's gonna say.
Hotel Transylvania 2.
Full title.
That's the full title.
Yeah, that is the full title.
So you got one more, Jeff,
or are you gonna call it a day?
I have already said that.
She's like mentally ill or something.
This lady that's been told
repeatedly to stop saying things
and is still saying things.
Oh, it's someone sitting next to you that sounds the same?
It's the people standing.
It's the same lady as always.
Those people paid $7 less.
So they're standing.
We should be more specific.
Standing room is out front.
But you know, I can't get too mad
when you yell out a title that's already been said.
I mean, Jeff.
It's still distracting.
I almost had one.
Like I almost had it gripped.
Right here.
And I don't anymore.
Just picture him in your head.
I believe in you
is not an answer.
It's just a
positive statement
from the audience.
As soon as she started yelling,
I was like,
I was going to say stop it,
but that was
a very sweet thing to say.
Nothing?
No, I think it was in the first
Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo.
No.
I don't think he was.
I don't care.
Even if he was, you're just guessing.
Yeah, I'm just guessing.
He was pulling shit out.
Do you have one more, Sam?
I don't believe that I do.
You can do it.
You can do one more.
I mean.
We really did a good job.
We really got them all, yeah.
We really cleaned them all up.
There's at least one more.
Oh, there's gotta be at least five more
that no one here has come up with.
Oh yeah, there's more, and we'll ask you in a second.
There's a guy that said one earlier that you didn't hear.
Oh, it's a good answer.
I'll bet.
Yeah.
But who said the last one right?
Was it me?
Huh?
Yeah, you win.
Oh, then I'm out.
That's great.
I don't need to sit here and kill myself.
I just want to hear one more from you, just to slam it home.
Am I insane or did we not say Happy Gilmore?
We did, right?
Yeah, because I said the answer's right, bitch,
or whatever.
Oh, all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
The one from the audience was The Longest Yard.
Oh.
Yes.
The Longest Yard.
And what else have you got?
You said that.
Bulletproof.
We said Bulletproof.
Grandma's Boy.
He's in Grandma's Boy?
Yeah, cameo.
Cameo.
Everyone is yelling movies we said on this show.
It's a hard memory test.
No, we said that.
Go with it.
We didn't say that one? Oh, god said that. Go with it. We didn't say that one?
Oh, god damn it.
No, I thought I said just go with it.
I didn't say it?
Fuck, I should have won this motherfucker.
If I could write this down, I had that.
Sorry, kids.
Yeah, we gotta try that sometime where everybody can just write it all down.
It'd be a really entertaining podcast.
When we're at UCB with the desk,
you can all write down the answers.
Yeah, we did a pretty good job with the Adam Sandler
movies, but
ultimately,
Sam is our winner!
Thank you, Boise!
Congrats, Laurel! Come get
your name tag back, Laurel, plus
the prize bags. Where you at? Congratulations, Laurel. Come get your name tag back, Laurel, plus the prize bags.
Where you at?
Congratulations, Laurel.
Great job.
You gotta let me know how much you like
Forest of the Penguins.
Yeah, get back to us about every item
in both of the bags.
How you use them,
how much you like them.
Congratulations, Laurel.
Jeff's name tag has a very involved thing on the back and what's going on with the donuts.
But you want the rest of the donuts, right?
So let me see what it says on the back,
if it says anything.
What does that say?
Well, don't read it to me.
That would blow it.
Oh, that's fun.
I'll remember that.
Thank you so much to the Arnold family
for being here.
Wait.
Doug, real quick.
I don't have anything to plug,
but I just want to say to the Arnold family
and the whole clan
that I want you to know
that my horrible competitive nature
definitely exceeds my love of children,
and they're wanting to succeed.
Oh, yeah.
So I'm sorry that I'm a monster.
Do you want to come to Dart Zone with us tonight?
Absolutely.
We'll crush it out there.
Done.
And Jeff would have been happy to win also.
Like, you didn't lay back.
You tried hard.
Everybody tried hard.
It was a good effort all around.
I don't care if you're wearing a Pokemon
hat or
a really
nice sweater
vest.
I like your outfit, Arthur.
His mouth is full of donuts
so he can't really respond right now.
But
Emma, what do you got to plug the family?
Like, when can we see all of you?
We have our traveling variety show.
Tomorrow we'll be at the Visual Arts Collective.
We're making fun of Flashdance.
That gave me the idea to do a Benson movie interruption of Flashdance,
because I haven't done that yet.
That would be a good one.
It would be a good one.
Really fun.
My sisters and I were obsessed with that movie when we were young teenagers.
Yeah, because every young girl dreams of being a welder.
We were like, we should be erotic dancers.
And then we were.
No.
And then I have a show with the very funny Dave Ross at Liquid Laughs
on Memorial Day, which will be a very fun show.
Right, right across the alley here from the Knitting Factory in downtown Boise.
That's awesome.
Any last words from any of your youngins?
Do you want to say anything?
Did you have fun being here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Adorable.
It was like school.
What?
It's like school?
Yeah.
That does not sound fun.
Come back.
Oh, I will.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like to threaten people with I'm not going to come back, Oh, I will. Yeah. Yeah.
I like to threaten people with I'm not going to come back,
but I rarely don't come back when this many people come out and are this nice.
Jeff, what do you got to plug?
I'll be out front in a few minutes selling my albums
for all the people who lost.
Yeah, there's only one of you got a free one.
Somebody else has to pay up.
Emma and I are going to be in Nashville this week,
Atlanta on the 22nd of May at the Highland Ballroom,
Brooklyn, New York, June 16th.
And is that it, Emma?
I can't remember the rest of our dates.
It's justanotherclown.com for the rest of our dates.
And speakersilence.org.
Actually, the guy from Speaker Silence will be out front at the merch table with me.
Nice.
So you can say hi to him.
Get you a Stitch Kit.
What?
You're still going?
No.
So there's always more.
Go ahead.
Say it.
No, I just Stitch Kit. Whatever. I don't know. No, I'm done. I'm done. You've got to say it. No, I just, Stitch Kit, whatever.
I don't know.
No, I'm done, I'm done.
You've got to say it when I'm not talking.
I'm done.
Stitch Kit?
Stitch Kit.
And Sam Levine has no plugs.
One more time for all of my guests.
Arthur Henry, Calvin, and Emma Arnold.
Jeff Tate and Sam Sam the Man Levine,
a.k.a. Little Wolverine.
In a little while,
I will be having a drink across the street
at the Double Tap Pub.
Not immediately,
because if every person here
goes over there, it'll be twofold.
But for those of you that are willing
to wait around for a minute,
I'll be over there.
Do I have any plugs that I wrote down?
No, let's just say Douglovesmovies.com.
Thank you, everybody, for being here.
As always,
people who confuse
Idaho with Iowa
are a shithead.
And people who get
all up in your business on Twitter
about where you should go to eat
in Boise are a shithead.
Play that end theme, please!