Doug Loves Movies - Ethan Suplee, T.J. Miller, and Jen Kirkman Guest
Episode Date: December 1, 2010Doug welcomes the "Unstoppable" Ethan Suplee and T.J. Miller and comedian Jen Kirkman to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art1...9.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers screaming babies in key seats
With 50-an and popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
That was Garfunkel and Oates singing the theme song,
Christmassy style.
We're at the UCB Theater in LA.
It's Tuesday, November 30th, 2010,
and I think Dobby should be nominated for an Oscar.
I tried to say that last week, but whoever the guests were,
I've already forgotten. It's out of my mind.
But Larry and Tig and Greg were all like,
we haven't seen it.
That was just Greg. That wasn't Larry and Tig.
I will be...
That was my Greg Brooks impression.
I'll be at Hyena's in Fort Worth December 3rd.
That's tonight if you downloaded the podcast successfully on the day it came out.
The episode I was just referring to with Tig and Larry and Greg,
there's been people writing to me on Twitter saying they're having downloading problems,
but then there's like 50,000 other people that have downloaded it successfully.
So I don't know if just...
There's just 12 weirdos out there that have reached out to me and just don't know if just there's just 12 weirdos out there that have
reached out to me and just
don't know how to work their computer.
But they all seem legit, like they've listened to it before.
So hopefully that
problem's been solved.
I don't know how those things get solved.
I just complained to the producers
Matt Belknap and Ryan McMiniman.
And
then one of them goes and tries to take care of it.
So I'll be in Fort Worth December 3rd and 4th.
There's a new episode of The Benson Interruption
airing tonight at midnight, 11 central,
with Tom Lennon, Mike Lee and Black, and Andy Daly.
The Marijuana Logs is going to be performed
just one time only in New York City
at the Gramercy Theater December 18th at 420.
LiveNation.com is where you go
to get tickets and good luck
spelling marijuana logs in the search
engine.
December 21st, no
comedy death rate here at UCB, so
and that's the show people usually come to
see after they see Doug Lowe's
movies. There is no show on December
21st, so Doug Lowe's movies uh there is no show on december 21st so douglow's movie is
going to come in at a special time at eight o'clock it's only gonna be five bucks to get in
20 bucks to get out no it's only gonna be it's only gonna be five bucks and but it's gonna be
like an extra long show and i've already booked if they don't cancel some really great guests so
that's gonna be on december 21. So you guys that are here now,
or if you're going to be in the LA area,
please do come by.
Now, my guests tonight,
I wrote my guests down on the piece of paper,
but I'm pretty sure it's three people.
My guests tonight are two previous guests on this show,
two very funny comedians,
and two dudes responsible. I mean, they very funny comedians, and two dudes
responsible. I mean, they're all,
you know what I mean? They're not, it's not,
I'm not bringing out six people.
And the two dudes responsible
for that unstoppable
train, please welcome Jen Kirkman,
TJ Miller, and Ethan
Supley, everybody.
Come on out, you guys.
Sit wherever you like.
Just do it quickly because it's not interesting to listen to.
Certainly not.
Hey, everyone.
That's TJ.
Hi.
Hello.
That's Ethan.
Hi, everybody.
My name is Doug.
Don't read my script. I thought it was for me. Don't read my script, Jan Kirkman. Hi. Hello. That's Ethan. Hi, everybody. My name is Doug. Don't read my script.
I thought it was for me.
Don't read my script, Jan Kirkman.
Hi.
Hello.
I got to start with TJ and Ethan because I saw Unstoppable.
And you guys are basically responsible for a missile the size of a Chrysler building
headed into a crowded town in a shit state nobody cares about.
No, I'm joking around.
It's a beautiful area.
Would have been a terrible disaster if the train had hit Stanton.
Was that what they were afraid it was going to hit?
Scranton.
Not Scranton.
It was Stanton, I think.
Stanton.
Stanton.
Okay, that's another movie I was in.
That's why you should really not be a guy
that's deciding where the trains are going to go.
You really shouldn't be working out at the coupling yard.
Sounds like Samaritan.
Send it to Panton.
They kept saying Arclow through the whole movie
and then when they show it spelled finally,
I was like, oh, that's not how I spelled it.
Let me guess, let me guess.
Okay.
A-R-C-L-O-W. I don't think so is that it it's a k right yeah but
it's a r k l o w i think i was like i was just giving it a c and an o arc low what is arc low
what did you guys see the movie it's the city i think it's the city where it's the first first
city they get to after they had a chance to derail the train or safely, but they didn't do it because some corporate asshole is standing in an office somewhere calling the shots when it should be called by Rosario, who's practically there on the scene.
The movie that I saw that we were in was Remember the Titans, right?
Yes, we were in that.
You were the quarterback.
I loved it.
I love that film.
Now you're confusing me because
you weren't in that movie.
No, I was not in that movie.
But I like that I exist in a world
where Doug Benson can be like,
was he in Remember the Titans?
You know, there's always like when you meet
a T.J. Miller and become friends with a T.J. Miller, there's a point where you when you meet like a t.j miller and becomes friends
become friends with a t.j miller there's a point where some movies on cable you go oh that was t.j
miller i expect that to happen maybe not maybe i was right there at the beginning with carpool
errs and incredible save i've never seen anybody have that problem and cloverfield
old cloverfield those two were the two first things right yeah yeah so you've been there I've never seen anybody have that problem. And Cloverfield.
Those two were the two first things, right?
Yeah, so you've been there from the start.
Okay, so you didn't slip anything past me.
And I've seen in a motion picture theater every movie that you've been in.
You have?
I have.
I saw She's Out of My League in a theater.
I saw The Goods in a theater.
How many fucking movies have you been in?
I didn't know you did so much acting.
Well, don't really answer, I guess.
Okay, good.
What a weird question and command.
How many movies have you been in?
Also, don't talk for now.
What's your CV?
And you now have lost the power of movement.
TJ, start-stop.
Yeah, that's
Yogi Bear I'm going to go see.
I'm excited about that.
They came up with a new slogan.
I remember the last time you were here,
there was a lot of discussion about the slogan.
I said, what's the new slogan? You said, I don't know.
Do you know what it is now?
Life's a picnic.
A picnic.
That's pretty clever, I said, what's the new slogan? You said, I don't know. And do you know what it is now? Life's a picnic. A picnic.
Yeah.
So that's pretty clever, the way they're appealing to young people
by using a word that young people have never heard
because they don't see old Yogi Bear cartoons.
Because Yogi Bear is the only person who says picnic basket.
It's better than the alternative.
They started out going from good things come in bears.
And then the next
one...
Yeah, I wasn't going to bring it up again.
He did 20 minutes
on it the last time.
I wasn't going to bring it up again.
It was the slogan that shall not be named.
And yet, there it is.
And then what was the second one?
It's not me going back into that
territory. It's just bringing it up to make it a three-structure to tell what was the second one? It's really, really, it's not me going back into that territory. It's just bringing it up
to make it a three structure
to tell you that the second one
was Life's a Pick-a-Knicker.
Shut the fuck up.
So they weren't able to do that.
That sounds dicey.
Life's a Pick-a-Knicker.
That sounds like a movie.
I just thought of that on the spot.
Oh, okay.
I thought he was serious.
You're using my mind.
You thought I was serious?
Yes. I gotta tell you serious. You're using my mind. You thought I was serious? Yes.
I gotta tell you,
Warner Brothers marketing is stupid enough
to say good things come in bears,
but I don't think anybody is dumb enough
to say life's a pick-a-nicker.
I almost wasn't dumb enough to say it.
Then I thought better of myself.
How about a door barrel?
See, it's hard.
I'm just saying.
It's not an easy job coming up
with shitty slogans
for movies. Alright, let's
come up with a good one for Yogi Bear and maybe
they can change it. I like a door barrel.
A door
barrel? Hey, Yogi Bear, December
17th. A door barrel.
A door barrel. People are like, what? What's happening? I was trying to say like a door barrel? Hey, Yogi Bear, December 17th. A door barrel. A door barrel. People are like, what?
What's happening?
I was trying to say adorable.
It'd be a great way to confuse the masses.
Oh, I thought of a good review for it.
Unbearable.
Yes.
I'm sure you'll be the only one to come up with that, Doug.
Bear with me.
Right.
No, that's nice.
Try and grin and bear it, but you won't be able to
because of
Justin Timberdick
or whatever his name is
yeah I don't care
doesn't matter
I wasn't gonna go until I found out
he was the voice of Boo Boo and then I was sold
yeah
it totally swayed me
can you imagine in Warner Brothers' mind
that they're thinking like,
okay, here's the deal.
How do we get girls
age 12 to 17?
What if Boo Boo
is Justin Timberlake?
And they really believe
that girls will be like,
wait, hold on.
Who's voicing
the 1960s cartoon
Bear Sidekick
in the original voice and not his own,
J. Tim, I'm there.
I'm there and I'm humping my seat
when my mom's not looking.
Do you think he's going to do the talk show circuit
for that movie?
Oh, I hope so.
Because that might be a reason to put somebody like that in.
It is just to get him to go out and talk about it.
They really do want his name.
I mean, that's why they put it on there.
That's what I like about Pixar
is they can just be like,
Ed Asner, boom, done.
You know, they don't have to be like,
oh, will the kids like him?
Life's a Pixar-nic basket.
You know what?
That attempt was a real door barrel.
Fun with words. Oh, Jack Korkman. Oh, T.H. Mills.
All right, T.J., here's what I didn't like about your character
in Unstoppable.
First, I was disappointed
that the movie wasn't about diarrhea,
but then secondly...
Secondly...
In what world is that okay?
Your character frustrated me
When he called Rosario Dawson
A ball buster
When everyone knows she was right
When she was yelling at you
Well, Ethan, do you want to take this one?
You could just say it was the character
You don't have to take personal credit
I think that was an ad lib
It was an ad lib on TJ's part.
Oh, he threw that in?
Yes.
It was an ad lib, and I will say that I was very frustrated with her
because she told us to immediately get on a high rail.
Now, if the independent brake was applied as we thought,
and I will fight you to the death on this, and we will.
I can do this with any film. You thought it was going to be fine. You thought that the train was going to the death on this. And we will. I can do this with any film.
You thought it was going to be fine.
You thought that the train was going to slow down on its own
and that you'd get there and then have to wait for this slow train
and maybe even backpedal to go get to the train.
Doug, it is basic train physics.
Listen, if the independent brake is applied,
eventually it's going to slow down to a stop.
So to put us on the high rail to go and get it isn't necessary.
We only later find
out that the throttle was set to
what? Ten? I think so.
Full power, right? Connie, full power.
He's probably done a few other
movies since Unstoppable, so he's got
other things in his head.
No other movies. What?
I've been in
forced retirement. No, not really.
I did pilots, many pilots.
Oh, okay.
And none of them went?
Yeah, this became very somber.
Why did it get so sad?
Why did you guys make it so sad?
Yeah, how many pilots did you get that went?
You jerks.
What a sad moment in that man's life.
Yeah, I didn't understand.
His kid goes to French immersion camp.
I didn't understand his look of jealousy
when you were talking about Yogi Bear, that you'd
moved on to another project
since Unstoppable. He's just
watching your career now, feeling bad
for himself. I don't know. I mean,
I think even, you passed
on Yogi Bear, on the whole
movie even being made. Ethan was like,
don't do it. Don't bother. I'm against
it. How come they don't show Andy Daly in the previews
and stuff?
Because he's supposed to be
the villain of the piece.
He is the villain of the piece.
They're focusing on the bears.
Have you seen the billboards?
You know what?
I don't know why
that was so funny to you guys,
but I don't care.
America loves bears
and it's been
tried and tested.
Don't take your eyes off the bears.
It's a bear thing.
That could even be a...
That could.
Yeah, it's a bear thing.
And they did.
They kind of urbaned up.
They have a moment in the trailer where they're like,
hit it, boo-boo, and he puts on hip-hop.
And the ranger's like, you guys,
this is the music of low-income people.
I think that's going to get cut,
but that was the original line.
What's scarier than bears to white people
at the park? Black music.
That was director's
cut, I think. Now, is it
spoiler alert to ask if they stopped the train?
Because you can run away from bears. You can't run away
from that loud music.
No, but you know what? I've heard this.
If you run downhill and a black
person with a boombox is chasing you,
they'll catch up to you and kill you.
That was an amazing joke.
How did you learn that?
You were with someone?
Yeah, I was with somebody.
Ah, God rest his soul.
Leslie Nielsen, too soon.
No, that's what he wanted on his epitaph
that's what he wanted
on that word
that's hard
nobody ever has
you never have to say epitaph
so you don't
you don't get it down right
so true
but I would like to say
so true Doug
wait but did they stop the train
oh spoiler
you can't say
we did not stop the train they don't personally stop You can't say. We did not stop the train.
They don't personally stop the train. They're like
somewhere breathing a sigh of relief when
it gets stopped. Now, I know it's not a spoiler
to say that the train gets stopped
because
it's just that kind of movie.
You just know that it's gonna, it's not,
but it's about the journey.
It's about, you know, it's about how they not it but it's about the journey. It's about you know
It's about how they stopped that train and how exciting it is along the way because once you guys fuck up and that train gets Moving it's pretty much. It's on for the rest of the movie, but Doug we are part of the reason that the train stops
because without us we never would have found out that the
Throttle was set to full and they wouldn't have known that it wasn't a coaster.
So in a way, we and Denzel stopped the train.
Without our information.
So you're saying probably Chris Pine is fourth.
It's Denzel, you guys, and then Chris Pine in order.
I don't know why.
That's accurate.
I think that's accurate.
Why are we together in that?
We're a team.
It goes Denzel, ETHJ. We're a team. We're a team. It goes Denzel,
Eeth J.
That was a bad one.
Denzel,
then it's Teethan.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Isn't that weird how that's better?
Teethan,
and then Chris Pine.
You know what the movie needs,
and I haven't seen it,
but like a montage of you guys freaking out
to We Didn't Start the Fire.
Like, that sounds like that would be
such a fun scene.
Jen Kirkman! Home run!
You guys just go
somewhere and put that on and start breaking
plates.
Just go out of your minds.
Because your characters really do set in motion
what could end up being a
cataclysmic event.
Don't say that one out there either.
Epitaph.
Can't wait for the next animated cat movie.
A cataclysmic event.
Yeah.
You know what's great about that?
Jen wants to work in advertising for things that might happen.
She wants to really put the cart before the horse
and come up with the ad first which they
actually do sometimes now they think of like what the selling point is and then make it yeah they
did they had the date for yogi bear before they did it i just like that when she said that at
the beginning none of us knew what was going on like she was like i can't wait for the next cat
movie and all of us are like well well, I guess she's lost it.
She is wearing a weird hat.
I guess this is when we see a woman
break down.
She just thought it was so...
We're all like, thank God.
I know we laughed because it was
very funny, but I think it was more of a
sigh of relief, like, she's not
insane. Oh, I'll
take it. This isn't a weird hat, though. I thought she had not insane oh that i'll take it this isn't a weird hat though
i thought she had to suddenly say that just because she felt it was important to interject
an opinion about movies into the conversation and that was just something that popped into her head
but she's that excited about the next cat movie
ethan's been over here also doing the same
thing. You guys can't hear it, but
he's been mumbling under his breath.
A hundred and fun Dalmatians.
Oh, Doug, I hope you're not
mad at me this time.
Because I'm having fun.
Why did they use that? They didn't use that
at all. They didn't use that? They didn't use that at all.
They didn't use that.
They didn't use that.
They should have. If they would bring all of us in.
Let's think of more ads that could have been.
Ethan, what do you think?
What kind of ads should there be for things?
I am totally lost in this whole conversation.
We're just trying to think of...
Well, Doug, you explain it.
I thought of a good slogan for Unstoppable.
It would be on the poster and say
Unstoppable and then underneath
and you watching this movie
has nothing to do with the outcome.
That's terrible.
I don't know.
It was so good when I was working it out in my head.
I was like, oh shit, there's a lot of words
coming out.
It was conceptual in a way that
wasn't totally communicated.
I totally understand.
I'm just saying we all know that the train is going to stop.
So the title is a lie.
Well, what if that was it?
Unstoppable.
The title is a lie.
People will be like, this is the next Inception.
I'm going into it.
It's already a riddle.
Unstoppable on opposite day.
Is it a train or is it two people making love?
What does it mean?
That's not a train.
I got something I got to do, if you don't mind.
No, of course.
I almost forgot to do this.
I was going to do it last week and it didn't happen.
And now I was almost going to not do it this week.
A lovely group of young men, I assume they're all men,
sent me their version of,
they recorded a version of the Douglas Movies theme song.
And yeah, you know,
and I've had some pretty cool bands and singers do the theme song.
And so they decided to pile on.
And I was like, well, I'll play it,
but not necessarily at the beginning of the show.
I just want to play it during the show
and see what everybody thinks.
The band is called Lordosis.
And it's like, yeah, it's like kind of a garage band.
But here's the best part.
In the email, he said, describing the band,
we're mostly scientists.
So it's scientists who have a garage band
named Lordosis.
And if you guys are ready in the booth,
let's listen to their version of Doug Loves Movies theme
by Hardin. booth let's listen to their version of doug those movies theme by hard and firm Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Keep it down out there. Yeah. really sell it, at the very end there should be the sound of a door opening and like a mother yelling at them.
Keep it down
out there. Or a lab door opening
and them being like, we just fixed
cancer.
It would be also funny.
Get back up here. We are fixing cancer
now. Fixing cancer.
The least articulate
scientist would be the name
of that show.
I feel like they are wearing lab coats when they're playing, yeah?
I don't know.
I think they have a great sound,
and I think it's cool,
and it's like what the Strokes wish they were,
maybe a little more production.
And if they have those lab coats on,
that's a thing.
Oh, boy.
I'm going to say they have a great future
in handing out demos.
So I'll be the Simon Cowell.
You can really talk it up
when you're handing out the demo.
Well, I'm sure they're going to be thrilled to hear that.
They're going to be Googling Jen Kirkman in no time.
Ethan, what did you think?
I liked it.
It sounded nice.
There you go.
Put that on your goddamn record, Lordosis. I liked it it sounded nice There you go put that on your god damn record
Lordosis
I liked it it sounded nice
Ethan Suplee
From Unstoppable
Hey let me ask you this Ethan
I can never see the dinosaur
Or the sailboat or whatever
When I'm staring at those things.
Could you see it?
Or was that frustration good acting?
I had to work to not see it.
Really?
Yeah.
It just popped right out for you.
And then you had to pretend you couldn't see it and get mad about it.
It was total bullshit.
Yeah, I could see it the whole time.
And it actually was a sailboat.
All right.
Well, I...
Yeah, I could see it the whole time.
And it actually was a sailboat.
All right, well, I... Oh, shit.
I can never see those things.
No matter how much people tell me how it works,
I'm always like,
have you ever noticed one of my eyes doesn't cooperate?
But I loved also in the Lordosis cover of the song
that I'm pretty sure they say that I don't like sticky sweets.
And it's sticky seats is the lyric.
But I think they just heard it and then had to recreate it.
They're like, we've got to figure out what is going on.
He doesn't like sticky sweets.
Can't stand taffy.
You can be an unsticky sweet.
I'm all in it.
All right.
What's going on?
What time is it?
How are we doing on time?
Oh, we're getting close.
It's almost time to play a game.
Let me ask Ethan one more question because we got him down here,
and I appreciate him participating in the in the program how much how much
less do you weigh between unstoppable and now because you are I'll take a
picture at the end of the show to show all the Twitter followers but you you're
looking pretty good yeah close to 100 pounds whoo and you were like but you
were on this you were on yeah 100 pounds but you were on the, yeah, 100 pounds.
But you were already on your way in Unstoppable, right?
You'd already lost some weight.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, awesome.
Congratulations.
Is there a secret you can share with everybody, or is it just work out hard and eat less?
Yes, that's the secret.
That's it.
Just work out more and eat less.
Yeah.
That's what I'm trying to do.
And he's bicycling like a maniac.
He just did a triathlon. That's working out. trying to do. And he's bicycling like a maniac. That's working out.
A triathlon?
I only did the bicycle portion.
He paid two young
Filipino boys to do the other two parts.
I'm just going to
one-ass. I'm only going to one-ass
this time. I'll work up to two or three
later in my career.
But that's awesome.
That's a really great way to do it I guess bicycling
Good luck with that everybody
You want to lose a hundred?
Yeah
That would be fucking great
Just live in a hospital
I'm tired
Live in a hospital
I'm not going to tell you what I would weigh if I lost a hundred
You whippersnapper
You're right, Jen.
That was a genius move.
Asking what she would weigh after losing 100.
Because then you would just add 100 to it and then be like, ooh.
Oh, wait.
I didn't even think of that.
You totally wanted to figure out her weight, dude.
What if that's what guys did?
Instead of trying to figure out how to look up someone's skirt or look down their shirt, they're like, let's figure out her weight.
They go over there like, hey, you know mangoes weigh like three pounds
at their largest?
How many mangoes do you think you weigh?
What would you weigh if you lost like 40, 50 pounds?
Like 110?
That wasn't you.
That's some girl in the bar.
I was just looking at you
when I said it.
That hurt.
I'm just saying that'd be a smart way to figure it out.
If you were a guy who gave a shit about exactly
what somebody weighs. Right, but you
don't. I don't care.
You're a fucking feminist.
Here it is. I want to ask, Jen, have you seen
any movies that you like? Do you go to movies? Once in a while. I like to watch them at is. I want to ask, Jen, have you seen any movies that you like?
Do you go to movies?
Once in a while.
I like to watch them at home.
I saw Get Low was the last movie
I saw in the movie theaters.
Ooh, artsy.
How was that?
We got a whole section
that loves Get Low over there.
I thought it was the best movie.
I was sobbing so hard
that I was shaking
and I just thought
it was a wonderful movie.
We were doing like
a last minute,
you know,
Academy push on it,
you know,
trying to get Robert Duvall a Best Actor nomination.
He's always amazing.
That guy is one of the best actors.
I thought the last...
He picks kind of boring movies sometimes, but...
To put this much on a movie and go, at the end he's going to reveal a big secret.
You better be a fucking great actor to live up to that moment.
And he did it.
The secret is that he can talk to dead people.
Don't give away what the secret is.
I will say, if you liked Get Low,
you're going to love Yogi Bear.
Well, Get Low ended up using Good Things Come in Bears.
Life is a picnic.
That was also Get Low's tag.
Did you say life is a buccanick?
A picnic.
I'm going to make a buccanick list.
Oh my God, how great would that be?
Picnicer, please.
Too soon.
Too soon?
It's been like 300 years.
Okay.
soon? It's been like 300 years. Okay.
I don't have shit to do with that.
I have a bodyguard
tonight. I'm glad about that.
I don't see any.
Okay, so...
Would it have been just like over there,
just in the corner,
this woman stood up
and she had a picnic basket with her
and she had like a French roll
under her other arm
and she just looked at you and shook her head
and just walked out the door.
There was
one picnicker here.
I couldn't see her.
It's dark. I can't see.
I can't see
all the picnickers. She's not African American.
She's just a picnic enthusiast.
I want the list of people
who know I'm not participating in this.
She's without her papers.
If you know what I'm saying.
I don't even know what I'm participating in.
Seemed like fun,
but maybe it was terrible.
Okay, scientists,
next song, Pic a knickers.
Write it.
Can you imagine?
You could see T.J. Miller on The Benson Interruption
on December 17th.
Yeah.
Is that true?
Yeah.
That's the day Yogi comes out.
I know.
All I ask of every person listening
is if you go see Tron,
buy a ticket for Yogi.
Oh, they both have 3D glasses, so you buy the Yogi ticket and then cruise into Tron. I like ticket for Yogi. Oh, they both have 3D glasses.
So you buy the Yogi ticket and then cruise into Tron.
I like it.
No, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, no, that's right.
Yeah, yeah.
I got scared for a second that you were tricking me.
But no, that's right.
Buy your ticket for Yogi and then sneak on into Tron.
Because you think when the numbers come in on Yogi,
they're going to go, that's a little higher than we expected.
Oh, wait a second.
TJ Miller. No, no, no. They'll say than we expected. Oh, wait a second. TJ Miller
probably mentioned it on a podcast.
They'll go, fucking I
love movies. Okay, let's
make a Doug Loves Movies pledge.
Everybody that's listening to this, you get to hear it for free
every week. If you're going to see Tron,
ask for Yogi Bear 3D
and then sneak into Tron. Let's do it.
Hopefully the glasses won't be wildly different.
Like Tron, you get really cool glasses
and Yogi Bear, it's two picnic baskets.
That you can't see through.
The side portions, whatever those are called,
are just both of the bear's dicks.
Boy, no part of that was worth saying.
But what are the side portions of glasses called?
The rims?
The stems?
The stems?
No, what is it?
Arms?
The arms of the glasses?
Really?
I'm going to put some arms around my face.
Be safe getting back to your castle on your horse.
The arms of your glasses?
Fuck you.
The arms of your glasses. Fuck you. The arms.
It feels just like my glasses are hugging my head.
Kill yourself.
All right, so now we're entering, TJ, the no riffing zone.
Okay.
Where we're going to run out of time
if we don't just play the game earnestly and feverishly.
So Leonard Maltin game.
I asked Ethan to listen to an episode of the show
so he'd know how to play.
Of course, Jen has been on before
and won when she was on.
So she's defending that title.
Yeah, I'm ready.
TJ, could you pick someone in the audience to play for?
Yes, I'll pick Donna
Donna's
She's got a name tag that lights up
Donna
You and me
It's Donna Ethan who would you like to play for
I picked our dog right when I walked in
Our dog
And
Jen do you have a favorite in the crowd here
Picnic me A guy here? Picnic me.
A guy just yelled picnic me if your podcast listeners didn't hear it.
And now he's being beaten to death.
This guy, I think it says Jordan with the Back to the Future font.
Back to the Future, yeah.
It says my name is Jordan.
Jordan, I pick you.
But it looks like Back to the Future.
Nice job.
25th anniversary.
That's right.
Basically, he kicks ass. This guy knows his shit. Nice job. 25th anniversary. That's right. Basically, he kicks ass.
This guy knows his shit.
All right.
So we'll start with Jen, and we'll move this way and come back around like that.
And Jen, you can pick the first category, which you like.
Cartoons that were made into movies.
Someone called The Average Joe on Twitter suggested that.
Best Picture losers. That's movies that were nominated for
Best Picture at the Academy Awards and lost.
That was submitted by someone named
AtReallyCheeks.
Today's Daryl Hanna's
birthday.
For a category, movies that feature
Daryl Hanna. Well, I think in honor
Fuck Daryl Hanna's
birthday.
I've had
four sips of beer. In honor of the cartoons
made into movies, guys.
TJ, cartoons made into movies.
Yeah, not both of those guys.
There's only one of them that moved on to
Earl, buddy.
Cartoons made into movies.
Alright, would you like one from
1994, 2001,
or 2004?
94. you like one from 1994 2001 or 2004 94 what were the first one you said yeah 94 leonard malton gives this two and a half stars uh he says uh it's it's bouncy he calls it bouncy and he says that the uh
the cast is enthusiastic.
Of course they are.
They're bouncy.
It's usually not like, oh, it was a sad movie, but very bouncy.
So two and a half stars.
Bouncy, enthusiastic cast.
And there are ten names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Four.
Jen?
Four names.
Four?
Wow, that's a good opening bid.
So Ethan, you can either say name that movie
or you have to bid lower.
And name that movie means she has to do it.
She has to do it, yeah.
Name that movie.
The Flintstones.
Ethan says name that movie.
She says The Flintstones
without me even saying the names.
Too bad that's wrong.
Whoa!
I'm kidding. It's The. Whoa! I'm kidding.
It's the Flintstones.
I'm kidding.
Oh, God.
That was...
That was...
It is a breath of fresh air to have a competent player.
That was truly...
I don't even watch movies.
I'm just so fucking smart
I totally fell for both
Alright TJ
We'll let you pick the next category
That's a bad idea
At DVant
Submitted this category
Zombie movies
Or this was submitted by someone
Named at foul mouth Matt
He suggested Kurt Russell Movies movies great or uh this was submitted by someone named at foul mouth matt uh he suggested uh kurt
russell movies and i said hell yeah kurt russell movies because i was talking about how awesome he
is he's in the beginning of the uh we are the world video the comedy death ray did this year
for christmas uh and he's he's great. Or movies about movies.
Zombies, Kurt Russell,
or movies about movies?
I feel like I do better with zombies,
but movies about movies is intriguing.
Let's do movies about movies.
Okay.
Although that Kurt Russell thing was great,
foul-mouthed Matt.
Is that who it was?
Let me check.
This is a good use of time.
Okay, great.
I'm off, Matt.
Way to go, you piece of shit.
Fuck yourself, Matt.
He just got 12 new followers.
1978, 1980, or 2000?
1970, what is it?
Yes, 1917.
1917.
1864, 1753. Doug, I'll take 1917. 1917. 1864, 1753.
Doug, I'll take 1917.
1978, 1980, or 2000?
2000.
Okay.
This was in 2000.
Leonard gives it three stars.
He says that the writer-director has fun.
The writer-director has fun.
And he says that this particular movie about movies is an easy target.
Bouncy.
No bouncy this time.
Three stars.
Writer-director had fun.
Easy target. And there are 13 names.
Start the bidding.
Oh, but it's a documentary, right?
I don't know.
What?
I don't know.
All right, never mind.
No, it's like movies that are about making movies.
I can do it in 12.
Okay.
Jen Kirkman?
He can do it in 12.
I can do it in 8.
Ethan?
She seems really smart.
I'm not.
That was lucky, the last one.
I'll try for seven.
Seven names, TJ.
Ethan Suplee.
Name that movie.
Did I say it wrong?
No.
It's Suplee?
Yeah.
How did you say it?
I said Suplee.
Either way.
Okay.
What do you prefer, though?
Suplee. The correct way. I thought TJ would know the correct way. Okay. What do you prefer, though? Supplee.
The correct way.
I thought TJ would know the correct way.
Supplee?
Sure.
Yeah, we'll call you Supplee.
How many names does Supple have to guess it in?
Eight.
Eight names, okay.
Is that right?
No, seven.
Okay, seven.
Never have a stoner host a game show okay seven names uh jj johnston
clark greg michael higgins ricky j julius styles david paymer and patty lupone can i phone a friend
no it was me writer director having fun it's a movie about movies. Oh, it was me. It's writer-director having fun.
It's a movie about movies.
In 1978?
And so it's 2000.
2000.
2000.
Totally different era of filmmaking.
You picked 1917.
I think Ricky Jay is the best name in there
as far as helping to narrow it down.
Can I ask a question?
Is it considered cheating?
What does movies about movies exactly mean?
It's not like the making of blah, blah, blah,
but like a character in the movie
might be an aspiring filmmaker,
but it's not a remake of a movie.
No, I picked movies that are all like,
you know, have,
the subject matter is making movies.
Oh, okay, okay.
Like it's not just a character who does it.
Like it wouldn't be like Charlie's Angels
just because Matt LeBlanc's character
is an actor in that movie.
Right, but I consider friends...
Interesting poll, Doug.
I consider friends a movie about making movies.
Well, that's true.
Do we get hints?
Did you see the Jean-Claude Van Damme episode?
I already gave you the clues.
Is it David Mamet?
That's not the name of the movie.
He would make a movie called that if he thought people would come, I'm sure.
But you seem to have narrowed it down a bit,
but I don't know.
It doesn't sound like you know which one.
I don't.
Yeah.
I have a guess.
It doesn't mean anything, but you can tell us anyway.
If Ethan officially gives up.
Do you give up, Ethan?
I don't know.
Okay, he gives up.
You know what?
If it doesn't mean anything, then I never want to say it.
What is it? What's your guess?
Will it mean something?
Whatever movie I say, you're just going to say that's what
I was going to say. No, I'll guess first.
You said it's going to mean something. Guess it means a lot
to me.
Is it the TV set?
No. Shit. Oh, it was a good movie.
Yeah. And that could have been one of
the... That was about making a TV show
Wasn't it?
Or was it making a movie?
Making a TV show
Yeah yeah
So that wouldn't count
Charles Durning
Rebecca Pigeon
Sarah Jessica Parker
Philip Seymour Hoffman
William H. Macy
People in the audience
Are saying it
And Alec Baldwin
And it was called
State and Maine
Oh I never would have guessed that
It was a mammoth film then
Yes it was
So you got that much of it
So do you want to
Have half a point? Yes Alright yes it was so you got that much of it so do you want to have half a point
yes all right so
TJ got the point on
that one and we'll
start with Jen this
time would you like
best picture loser a
zombie movie or
Kurt Russell
I'm not gonna know
any of these
that's a terrific
attitude
I'm going best picture loser
Alright
These movies that were nominated for best picture
Did not win from 2007, 2008
Or 2009
2008
Okay
Leonard Maltin gives this four stars
I'd go a little shy of that
He says it has a fascinating premise.
And he says, kudos to the stars.
Which is what I say every night as part of my bedtime prayer.
Okay, so four stars, fascinating premise, kudos to the stars.
And there are 12 names.
And it did not win Best Picture in 2008.
How many names do you think you can get in, Jen Kirkman?
Nine.
She says nine names, Ethan.
I'm not going to beat her.
So you want to say name that movie?
Name that movie.
No way!
Oh, you say the names, though.
I'll say the names, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, you don't have to jump in like you
did with Flintstones
oh okay
you get to hear
eight names
thanks
nine
I said nine
she said seven
no seven
I heard
I heard four
I heard
a bearable
how many was it
for real
nine okay how many was it for real? Nine.
Okay.
How many was it for real?
The audience is a judge.
The audience judges.
Okay.
Nine names.
Elle Fanning.
Rampai Mohodai.
No buddies.
Phyllis Somerville.
Elias Koteas.
Jared Harris.
Mahur Fasu Fasu Ali.
Jason Fleming
Tilda Swinton
and Julia Ormond
that should give it away
I'm not a movie person
can we hear the Arabic
wait wait wait
it's M-A-H-E-R-S-A-L-A-L-H-A-S-H-B
it's got the word hash in there she looked like a guy S-A-L-A-L-H-A-S-H-B. Tilda Swinton.
It's got the word hash in there.
Hash is in there.
She looks like a guy and looked kind of ugly or something.
Tilda Swinton?
Yeah.
That's the name of the movie.
She got it.
Tilda Swinton's in it and she looked kind of ugly and like a dude or something.
No, no, no.
No, no.
Not her.
All right.
I got to call it.
We have a three-way tie. I don't know.
It's a three-way tie.
It's official.
Three-way tie.
Because the movie you can't get is called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
Oh, interesting premise.
I should have gotten that.
If I had said, who was the next name?
Who was the next name?
The next name, that's a lot of names.
The next name is Tajari P. Henson, who was nominated for Best Supporting Actress, and
Cate Blanchett, and then, of course, Brad Pitt.
Fuck, if I had gone all the way to Brad Pitt I would have guessed it.
You know you should have started with that. If you'd have read the whole review I might have guessed it. If you told me it was curious and that it was not solved.
See though I start big and then I end fast. And there were fascinating agents for coats. Okay we got it TJ. Oh my god your riff train is unstoppable.
Okay, we got it, TJ.
Oh my God, your riff train is unstoppable.
Get the floater.
All right, so what happened there?
So Jen got the point.
Ethan called her on it.
So TJ, we start with you.
And you got the point.
Oh, I'm sorry, Ethan got the point.
So it's a three-way tie.
But it was between you two, so we start with TJ.
Everybody's got a point. First person to do another point wins.
All right, strictly business.
Kurt Russell,
Dara Hanna,
are cartoons made into movies?
Kurt Russell.
Yes.
Kurt Russell movie from 1975,
1983,
or 1997?
83.
The audience is whispering 83.
The audience said 83.
Someone in the audience
really has their heart set on 83.
Oh, please.
I've been waiting for this all year.
Do you remember who you're playing for, TJ?
Yeah, Donna.
Donna.
Okay, and Ethan's playing for our dog.
Jordan.
Okay, Jordan.
Jordan, our dog.
Donna.
My point should count more because I actually guessed something,
but that's not the game.
Three stars from Leonard. Seems fair. Seems fair. are Donna. My points should count more because I actually guessed something, but that's not the game.
Three stars from Leonard.
Seems fair.
Seems fair.
1983, three stars.
It's Kurt Russell's in this movie.
So it's nice that Leonard says the movie has superb performances.
And he also says
that the script was written by two ladies.
He doesn't say two ladies.
He says their names. I'm saying two ladies. So this is 1983. was written by two ladies. He doesn't say two ladies.
He says their names.
I'm saying two ladies.
So this is 1983.
Script written by two ladies.
You've never censored that section of the hint?
Yes, I have.
Because it would give away too much if I told you their names.
Just saying.
It's kind of unusual.
1983, two women wrote the script.
How many names?
That's a great clue.
I'm excited about it. It means a lot
to me.
18 names.
I can do it. TJ Miller.
I can do it in 18.
JK?
17.
16.
Yes, that's 16. TJ?
15. Somebody's going to pull that's 16. TJ? 15.
Somebody's got to pull the trigger someday.
Jen?
I fold.
So you say name it, TJ?
Oh, name it, TJ.
All right.
How many are we down to?
14?
15.
15.
All right.
I got to do them fast.
Anthony Heald, Tess Harper, Ray Baker, M. Emmett Walsh, David Strathairn,
Bruce McGill,
E. Catherine Kerr,
Henderson Forsyth,
Sudi Bond,
Joseph Sommer,
Charles Hallahan.
How many is it supposed to be?
You could have read,
you could have just read
the phone book.
Ron Silver,
Fred Ward,
Diana Scarwood,
Craig T. Nelson.
The three stars
are not named.
What is it?
Any idea, T.J. Miller?
You know, I don't have enough of an idea
to not say Overboard.
That would have been,
Overboard would have had a much better cast
if all those people was in it.
But the remaining three names are
Cher, Kurt Russell, and Meryl Streep.
Showgirls. That's correct.
I got it.
The movie's called Silkwood, and
Jen Kirkman has done it again.
You won again. I did? I win?
Yes, you did it. Now it counts.
You won all
this great stuff for
Jordan, who made a neat sign.
She brought a copy of her Jen Kirkman CD self-help that you can get from AST
records.
And she thought if you're not enjoying that,
she thought she'd throw in David Sedaris at Carnegie hall.
So that's somebody,
people were groaning with excitement over that.
Doug beds,
a professional humor idiot and also from AST records is in there.
This book that somebody sent me me that's really easy to read
It takes about four minutes to read
Maybe two if you're good
It's called Movies Are Fun
It's all these cute little pictures where like
It depicts some crazy thing that happened in a movie
And then it just has the line written out
Now go home and get your fucking shine box
Suggested Billy Batts
But it's treated like it's a kid's story.
Kane, what is it? What's wrong? Asked Ripley.
Ah, answered Kane.
You should have the
two movie stars sign the book.
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
There you go.
I got a sharpie. Hang on.
That's a great idea.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a good idea.
There we go. You do what I say.
I don't think I saw that.
He wants us to write on his book.
Who's it say it was sent to me from?
Who sent me that?
What does it say, TJ, right there?
Josh Cooley.
Doug Benson.
Love your podcast and your comedy.
Josh Cooley, exclamation mark.
Is he going to be sad you gave his gift away?
I don't think so, because I mentioned it on my very popular podcast.
Okay.
But he might be pissed.
I'm always paying
shit forward. Our good friend Ruzi
gave me a bunch of government
t-shirts. Government
whatever that is.
Look that up on the internet.
Some drug thing.
But he gave me shirts
and they're too small for me and he said
if they're too small for you, give them away.
So I'm giving it away.
And you sign it too, Jen.
It was your crazy idea.
Jen, you sign it and say what part you would have been in the movie. You'll get your book in a little bit.
No.
Now, TJ, is there any chance you could quickly say
what else Jordan has won from you and Ethan?
Oh, Jordan, you have quickly won.
You can arrange with me by emailing me on my website
a time when you and I will go to Magnolia
on the corner of Sunset and Vine
and we will drink an Arnold Palmer
and I will give you what I got from Ethan, which is...
A box of Vale Tudo videos.
Which, who the fuck knows what that means.
But it's something cool from a weird guy
that's been in John Q.
And then
I will also give you
five bottles of extract
that were used
in the actual movie Extract with
Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis,
or anything like that.
Limited edition.
So just email me,
and we're going to have an Arnold Palmer together.
Oh, I should mention that one of those categories
they said in the game today was suggested by Jay Cridlin
from the St. Petersburg Times.
I talked to him about my shows coming up
at the Tampa Improv December 9-12.
Can I plug something?
Oh, and the bidding is open on
Comedy Death Ray holiday auction
at ComedyDeathRay.com.
Okay, go ahead.
I'm taping my second comedy album here at UCB Theater
December 11th, Saturday night, 10pm.
Please come. One show, one shot.
Come to that, everybody.
December what?
December 11th, never forget. December what? December 11th.
Never forget.
December 11th at 10 p.m.
I did a joke on the Benson interruption
where I said I walked into a 7-Eleven,
never forget.
I love it.
And so now that feels like a callback.
Even though you came up with it totally on your own.
Oh, okay. I thought you were accusing me. No! You haven't seen the show yet. Even though you came up with it totally on your own. Oh, okay.
I thought you were accusing me.
No!
You haven't seen the show yet, right?
No.
That's what you told me backstage.
Which is a good cover-up when you steal my joke.
No, it's funny, but it's, you know.
Hey, like mines, whatever.
Right, like mines.
Okay, so let's have another round of applause for TJ Miller, Ethan Suplee.
Daniel, where where you at?
Currently both starring in Unstoppable.
It's a lot of fun. Go see it.
And of course, Jen Kirkman,
who is Unstoppable
in the Leonard Maltin game.
And I'm going to take your picture
here, you guys, in a second. But as always,
Ben Tutlow is a shithead
and the WikiLeaks guy is a shithead and the wiki leaks guy is
now it's time we're done to watch another talky eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky
there's no room in his heart for you cause dog loves movies