Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Dale Cheesman and Keith Ruckus guest
Episode Date: December 19, 2017Live from the Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Dale Cheesman and Keith Ruckus to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notic...e at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming babies
He sleeps with 50-ounce and homework journals in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves blue leaves Thank you. I'm fine with just hanging out up here
while you guys make noises.
I just feel bad for this guy in this seat over here because when the chairs were up here,
he would have just been looking at our backs,
backs of our heads the whole time.
But this seems all right, right?
Okay.
Thought he had a great seat until the show started. Hey, hey, right? Okay. Thought he had a great seat
until the show started.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody!
My name is Doug, and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Coming to you...
once again,
from Cap City Comedy Club
in Austin, Texas! Yes!
It's so good.
Yeah, it's right, sir.
It's so good to be back here with my Tito's.
My homegrown, handmade,
gluten-free vodka.
I don't think there's any sponsors on this episode,
but Tito's is a sponsor in my heart.
It's Monday, December 18,
2017,
and let's celebrate
the birth of name tags? What does that mean's celebrate the birth of name tags.
What does that mean?
Let me see your name tags,
you guys.
Oh, boy.
That's interesting.
There's a lot of smaller ones
tonight. I think it's
because you feel bad about the people sitting
behind you. So you're making
tinier ones that are harder for me to see.
Instead of Notting Hill, we have
Notting Phil.
Instead of
Short Circuit,
we have Short Spence Circuit.
Two, sorry.
Full title.
Guardians Circuit? Two. Sorry. Full title. Guardians of Galizak? Isaac? Okay. That's about the only ones I can read. I'm glad my optometrist isn't here. Because then he, I don't know what he'd do.
They don't really punish you for having bad eyesight.
But thank you to everybody for bringing those.
And we'll have, my guests will have a tough time selecting for sure.
Doug plugs.
Only two more nights of Tate Crazy Nights.
Tomorrow we're in San Francisco at Cobb's,
and Wednesday night we're at the Punchline in Sacramento.
December 26th, Douglas Movies is back at the American Comedy Company in San Diego.
And I'm doing two stand-up shows at the Improv in Irvine, December 27th and 28th.
Join me in the holiday Tate.
264 people is still the record attendance number
of one of these Taint Crazy Nights shows
and that was in Dallas on
Saturday. But I think we
might have topped that number
here tonight.
We'll see.
I brought an amazing prize bag for you
guys. I mean, first of all,
you can see someone went
to Buc-ee's!
You cannot oversell
how crazy large
this convenience store
is.
There's like a thousand gas pumps outside.
And then you go in the convenience store
and there's, you know, you guys know it.
I don't have to tell you.
There's a wall of nuts.
There's a wall of trail mix.
There's a wall of taffies.
All the taffies.
It's crazy in there.
I found out today.
Did you know there's 16 flavors of Cheez-Its?
I forget who said that.
One of my guests said that today, and I stole his punchline.
One of my guests said that today, and I stole his punchline.
So while I was at Bucky's, I felt like I had to buy something.
So I got myself a healthy nut snack. But for you guys, for the prize bag, I got whatever this is.
It's like, yeah.
It's supposed to be popcorn in a popcorn box, right?
But his hair looks like cauliflower.
He just looks like
cool cauliflower man.
Like he'd be like a
You know
A thing for little kids about how you should eat your vegetables
Cauliflower's cool
Take a bite of me
Oh this is great
A copy of Austin Magazine.
You guys should really read up.
Catch up on everything that's going on in your great city.
Oh, here's a hat somebody threw on stage the other night.
I've been wearing it every night.
And, you know, it's got reindeer antlers on it.
So I'm not an elf, I'm a reindeer that has an elf hat on.
But here is, we're doing this every night to the delight of everyone.
This is an elf graduating from elf college.
People who listen to every one of these are so sick of that bit.
I got a confetti gun standing by
if there's a joyous moment.
And one of the last few final
tiny Peacemaker Christmas-y rubber pipes.
Plus all the stuffs that my guests brought.
So let's get them out here.
Please give a warm welcome.
A warm welcome.
To Keith Ruckus, Dale Cheeseman, and Jeff Tate. Oh my god, it sounds like we're at some white rally
And you're all chanting
Chanting hate But Oh my god, it sounds like we're at some white rally and you're all chanting hate.
But for the listeners, that was unrehearsed Tate chanting.
That's the first one on this tour.
We've got two more dates, so we'll see if that catches on.
Barely caught on in this room, but...
It was about eight dudes, right?
Man, it's the first time it's happened.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
These things kind of start small.
Let me enjoy that some of them wanted to do it.
Instead of being like,
oh, only 10 people
chanted your name.
That was more than ever before.
Have I spoken to you yet?
Only about you.
No, I'm excited.
We'll see if it catches on, Jeff.
No, I'm excited We'll see if it catches on, Jeff
But let's meet them individually
My guest, that is
Starting with this gentleman to my left
It's his first time on the program
But he's wearing the most festive
Is that
Anyway
It's Keith Ruckus, everybody!
I deserve that.
What is...
It's Jewish?
Yeah, it's a Hebrew sweater.
It's a Hebrew sweater.
Yeah, there's a star, David.
Yeah, I almost called it a Christmas sweater.
Because it's very Christmassy. Christ was Jewish. It counts. Yeah, there's a star, David. Yeah, I almost called it a Christmas sweater. Because it's very Christmassy.
Christ was Jewish. It counts.
There you go.
Well, thank you for wearing that because
we've kind of stolen the concept
of the eight crazy nights from the Jews
to apply it to this tour.
I forgive you.
It's fun, right?
I'm sure a lot of Jews have come out to a lot of the shows.
There you go.
It's my eight gifts to all
the Jewish people.
We're very thankful for that.
They're all mostly advertiser free,
but all for free.
Let's just do your plugs right out
of the gate, so that's a great way for us
to get to know you.
Okay. I am half of the comedy. So that's a great way for us to get to know you. Okay.
I am half of the comedy team that brings you a butt stuff bingo at the highball.
Has anyone ever been to butt stuff bingo before?
One person.
That is amazing.
Well, one that will admit it.
Yeah.
You are asking people about butt stuff.
Yeah.
It's a sex-based bingo game show that happens every Tuesday.
Sounds amazing. Yeah. When is it? Everybased bingo game show that happens every Tuesday. Sounds amazing.
Yeah.
When is it?
Every Tuesday at 10.
Tuesday at 10.
Well, we got to go to the next town tomorrow, but...
We'll come back.
We just hit our milestone.
I'll come back on a Tuesday.
We got the 1,000th girl to expose herself on stage,
which means it was our 2,000th breast,
and we did a giant balloon drop of breast balloons
that just fell down onto the audience.
Wow. If you had all those balloons ready, balloon drop of breast balloons that just fell down onto the audience.
Wow, you went in if you had all those balloons ready, you went
in cocky that you were going to get another reveal.
I mean, we're pretty solid.
It's for charity. Every time you show your breasts, we give money
to a charity. Well, I have very mixed feelings
about that.
I love
hate like that.
Maybe he had those balloons in a net for like six months.
Just one day, one day.
Okay, is that it?
That's it.
That's the only important thing.
Okay.
That's it.
Don't you have your own store?
I used to own Cafe Ruckus and then we sold it.
Oh, you sold it?
Yeah.
For a profit? Oh, yeah.
Nice. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm Jewish.
I'll be honest with you.
I didn't fuck that up.
No, uh... Is it still called that? No, uh,
Toy Joy bought it. Toy Joy, the toy store.
Oh, now we care.
Toy Joy
bought it and now it's called Yummy Joy,
which is, you know,
that's a name.
And they sell vegan ice cream.
Yeah, I know.
Just shitting
on my legacy. It's fine.
That was a great business you had going there. They just bought it
and changed it to something else.
They wanted the space. Yeah, right?
They were right next door.
Smart.
That's it.
You're a good businessman.
And we met at maybe South By or Fantastic Fest,
but I always see you around there at the Draft House doing fun shows and stuff.
Yeah, I'm the entertainment director of the Highball.
I'm on the programming team at Alamo Draft House.
My favorite Doug story is that the first time we ever met,
you yelled at me.
I did? What did you do wrong?
What?
All I remember is you wanted
a certain number of chairs and you didn't like the chairs
and I got you.
That's not far off.
And I was so excited. I listened
to Doug Loves Movies for years. I'm like, I finally get to
meet Doug. He's like, who do I got to talk
to above you? Who's
just a little smarter than you?
Who has access to chairs,
motherfucker? He's like, I sent
an email about this, and I
remember... I emailed you!
I ran away. I ran away from
you. I didn't say anything.
And I was looking for taller chairs, and this was
during the film festival. So I ran into
theaters that were having Q&As with directors, and I started ripping the chairs out from under people. And I was looking for taller chairs, and this was during the film festival. So I ran into theaters that were having Q&As with directors,
and I started ripping the chairs out from under people.
And there was this one Japanese director, I don't remember his name,
but he was doing a Q&A.
I'm like, I'm so sorry.
And his translator's like, what do you need?
I'm like, I need his chair.
And he wouldn't get up, so I yanked the chair, and he fell over,
and I just ran with it.
So me being horrible to you,
you decided to be more horrible to someone else?
Yeah, well, I was scared of you.
He's scary when he's mean.
That's it.
I want more chairs!
That's what happened.
Keep joking. Also joining us
And we'll go through all the times I yelled at him
It's Dale Cheeseman
Yeah, yeah
Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale
Oh wow
Yeah
What a natural just 30 people at least
That was a lot more than Kate
So heartwarming
Yeah
Dale, this is his fourth night in a row here on the show
0-4 baby
Yeah, no wins
Maybe a couple of places in the show or two 0-4, baby. Yeah, no wins.
Maybe a couple of places in a show or two.
How's this horse going to do tonight?
How do you feel, Dale?
Do you think you can win one?
Yeah, sure.
I'll have confidence for the sake
of whoever I'm playing for.
It'd be shitty to be up here
and be like, no, definitely going to pull a goose egg
and I'm playing for you.
That's very nice of you.
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna try my hardest.
I got a couple actors in my pocket.
So if they come up out of the thousands of actors,
I got a chance.
You, like, studied?
As much as you can for these games
that are arbitrary and impossible to do the math on.
Actually, I went to Box Office Mojo for the first time and just saw the homepage.
I was like, I don't understand any of this.
All right.
I was nervous.
I want to do as good as I can, but I've been going up against audience members,
and apparently y'all are super good at this show.
Yeah, listening to it probably helps a little bit
in becoming good at it,
and we've had a nice run of audience members,
but Keith, like he said, he's listened to the show,
so I think he's going to be in the competition tonight.
And let's say hello to the man who is two and three of the five nights so far at Tate Crazy Nights.
And let's see what kind of chant erupts.
It's Jeff Tate! what it is
what it is everybody
what it is y'all
I'm starting out I'm trying out new
greetings
right what it
is Austin solid thank you out new greetings. What it is, Austin?
Solid.
Thank you.
Yeah, they like it.
Yeah.
How's it going, Jeff?
It's going pretty great.
Yeah, the chat's going to get bigger every time, I feel like.
I can't think of anything better.
Right, finally.
What's been going on
since we last talked last night?
Have you done anything?
I walked.
Who was it?
First of all, was it Dale?
First of all, we ran into Dale
at the Buc-ee's.
We weren't even traveling together.
Oh yeah, that was the last time
you yelled at me
to answer that question.
It was at Bucky's.
I saw him staring at some sandwich, frozen sandwiches.
Fresh, never frozen.
And he didn't see me first
because he was really checking out the sandwiches.
And I ran up to him and just grabbed him
and screamed sandwiches.
And I didn't acknowledge you
because this is Bucky's.
And I was just kind of hoping
they would stop and go away
and pick their sandwich.
When you go into a Bucky's,
you assume you're not going to run into
someone you know,
but you do know you're going to meet
a crazy person.
Oh, so funny.
It was so funny.
That Bucky's that we went to was so big,
I'm surprised I didn't run into everyone I know.
It's like, I should have run into people I haven't seen
since the fucking third grade.
Tom Borda?
No shit.
I sell motorized igloos here now.
It's kind of my thing.
Oh, man.
So,
I said a joke earlier that one of you guys
said, I think, in the Buc-ee's.
What was it? Do you guys
remember? 16 flavors of Cheez-Its.
Yeah, yeah. Who brought up
all the Cheez-Its? That was
Mike. Oh, okay.
I stay away from cheese-based
comedy. Thanks for that, Mike.
Smart.
I don't want to get branded, you know?
It's not my thing.
To be the Gallagher of cheese?
I'm not gonna...
What?
I think that's what we were all thinking.
Let's find out about what you guys brought for the prize bag.
Let's start with Jeff, because it's no surprise what he brought.
This is such a special treat.
He's got an album coming out in January.
Oh, yeah.
But he's got copies on him
right now he's been giving away one every night what's it called again here we go
let's do it yeah it's called here we go let's do it it's called be aggressive b e aggressive b e a
g g r e s s i v e uh It's called Peeble Wait, why?
I'm never going to forget how to spell that word
I don't know
I don't know, man
I haven't done that yet
This is the sixth one of these in a row I've done
I haven't done that yet
Right?
I got two more, wait till tomorrow, man
Something's going to happen that I've never done
Before Here's my new album, it's called People Are What People Make Them I got two more. Wait till tomorrow, man. Something's going to happen that I've never done before.
Here's my new album.
It's called People Are What People Make Them.
One of you will win it, and the rest of you can buy it on the way out.
I also have...
Only $10 in the lobby.
Yeah, only $10 in the lobby.
The bar area, I guess.
I don't think it's a lobby.
I have the rest of the beaver nuggets.
I got the beaver nuggets and buckies.
Yeah, we tried them
and decided to give the rest away.
Yeah, I don't know what
I don't even know what these are.
Like this is
Do you ever touch something
and your hand is like
you shouldn't eat this?
Usually my hand doesn't know.
When it's desperately clinging to your finger.
Yeah.
And it doesn't want you to eat it.
And then I got the book I just finished called The Snowman.
The movie that just came out was based on this book.
And then the movie, I guess, was terrible, so I wanted to read the book.
And, yeah, I mean, it seems pretty like they follow the book probably pretty good.
Pretty accurately.
The book's a little convoluted, and then...
It's good, though. I've read the whole thing.
Does it have a sticker on the cover that says
now a major DVD in
Target dumpsters?
Now a minor motion
picture.
Doug's eating the nuggets.
It's breakfast for dinner.
Have you tried those with milk?
They do have kind of a sugar pops kind of, or no, corn pops.
No, I'm just assuming because you smoke weed all the time.
No, they do have a corn pops taste, but a pork rind texture.
Stop eating them!
stop eating them I like them more with each one
I think it's just brown sugar
pressed with that
stuff you chalk your pool cue
with
into those shakes that we you chalk your pool cue with. Into those shakes that we eat them.
Chalk, maybe.
Yeah, the chalk that you use to chalk your pool cue.
It's called chalk.
Pule cue.
DL, what do you have for the prize bag?
I got, these are special.
These are from the Denzel Washington movie,
He Got Game.
No, they're not from that.
They're not from that.
They're one of the millions made after the...
That was very misleading.
These are the He Got Game 13s
that the guy whose couch I slept on last night
said he wouldn't mind parting with.
Where are the laces?
Well, the laces are taken out for the audience member's safety
because when you leave tonight,
you're going to get mugged
and beat up
because someone wants these,
but now they can't throw them
into a power line.
So, your move, mugger.
Nice.
And then, yeah, pesos.
And then I got a sharper image
oversized wine glass.
Because I saw it and I was like,
that's funnier than anything I'll ever write.
It holds a whole bottle of wine.
That's really what it says.
Perfect gift for the wine
lover in your life.
Perfect for birthdays,
girls' night out,
bridal parties, and wedding
showers, and goldfish,
and...
Jesus. showers. And goldfish.
Jesus.
And it says all that same shit on another side. I was looking
for some new stuff to
read.
Doug loves boxes.
It's from Sharper Image.
Like it's supposed to be a technological
breakthrough.
Are you tired of getting up to refill your glass once, maybe twice?
We've got the answer for you, you lazy piece of shit.
All you have to do is, before you go to work in the morning, remember to plug it
in.
When you get home, it can hold a whole bottle
of wine.
I kind of want a whole bottle
of wine right now.
But instead, dear
Cap City Comedy Club, may I
have a Tito's and soda signed
Doug Loves Movies?
Does anybody else need anything?
Whiskey Sprite.
What?
What did you just call Keith?
Are you ordering for two people?
No, I just don't know what I'm doing.
Are those two separate things?
I'm sorry, whiskey comma Sprite is what he needs.
Please don't fuck up my order.
Just whiskey and Sprite.
And let's, hey, let's move on.
Don't put a comma in my drink.
Whiskey Sprite is like
strawberry shortcake shitty uncle. Now I feel real dumb every time I take a sip.
Ooh, that's delicious.
Oh, man.
Keith, what'd you bring for the prize, man?
I'm not really a comedian,
so I brought a bunch of stuff to compensate.
I have a shirt that just says butt stuff on it.
Yes.
So, you know,
if you wear this, there's certain connotations
But there's that
Some passes to the Alamo Drafthouse
Nice
A hundred dollars in karaoke
To the highball
There was a Kool-Aid
Pina Colada packet in the green room
I brought
my latest book of sad
breakup poetry. It's called
Hasidic Jew Night at the Roller Rink.
Wait, is that real?
Can I have that?
Here you go. You guys can buy it at
KeithRuckus.com. It's fine.
I bought three random presents
because I gave someone $5 to go get three
random things and then wrap them. I don't know
what's in here, but there's presents.
Oh, TSA wants this
bag. And then this is a crystal
topped vibrating butt plug.
This is
like the Cadillac
of butt plugs. You cannot break this crystal
inside you as much as you clench or kegel your asshole.
So if you're looking to be a little exploratory
in your relationship, I can't recommend these enough.
And then...
Try a pinky, it's fine.
And then I brought a pack of
New Kids on the Block trading cards
from the 80s.
Includes one sticker.
And now there's some confetti in the bag as well.
Thank you, Keith Ruckus.
Did you like those poems, Jeff?
Yeah.
Thank you.
I read one.
Yeah?
I gotta let it sink in.
It's poetry, man.
It's poetry.
It's all about dating in Austin,
and I transcribe a lot of messages from OKCupid
where girls are like, oh, no fat guys, sorry.
That's what I like best about it.
I was like, I don't like you either.
Fuck you.
That's that.
Hi, everyone.
That bag was a lot of butt stuff.
Every Tuesday night from 10 o'clock.
Every butt stuff?
Yeah.
I could put a whole bottle of wine up my butt.
I mean, anything could be butt stuff
if you're brave enough, Doug.
All right, you guys, I got a couple of questions for you.
We'll start with Jeff because he knows what's coming.
What was the last movie you saw?
Since yesterday.
I regret to say that the last movie I saw
was Mechanic Resurrection.
Yeah, it's bad.
It was on HBO this morning.
This is where Jason Statham
as the mechanic
comes back from the dead.
Yep.
We all thought he died
at the end of the first one, right?
Remember?
That box office dud?
Then he's resurrected.
And he has more adventures.
Yeah, this looked...
It had the effects that you...
Like a church
produced rapture movie would have.
Like the fire, when things would explode
it looked so fucking fake.
But it had a glib Tommy Lee Jones in it, which is good.
That's always good.
The glib Tommy Lee Jones, you know, from like Under Siege.
The resurrected subtitles, they refer to like,
does the beginning have Statham just pitching the movie to people
like a Morgan Spurlock documentary starts
off with just trying to make the movie yes like I know the first one was shit but this one I've got
a car yes there's a before the scenes documentary made of him going around Hollywood
no that movie's garbage. Don't ever, ever. Don't.
All right, thanks for the warning, buddy.
What about you, Dale?
Have you managed to squeeze in a cinematic experience?
Yeah, we watched Richie Rich.
What?
Right before this.
But that's because we got in and we watched
Badass 3, Badasses on the Bayou,
and that wasn't enough to carry this part of the show.
So jump back into Richie Rich.
It holds up.
I'm still impressed he has a McDonald's in his goddamn house.
Yeah, I guess that still is impressive.
But what happens in it?
What's the conflict?
It's him almost becoming Batman,
but then not becoming Batman
because his parents live.
It's basically what it is.
It's...
This close. It's basically what it is.
This close.
This close to the Cape Crusader.
And I think the guy, we watched it,
the guy that bombed the plane that Richie... Spoiler alerts.
The guy that bombed Richie Rich's parents' plane,
the Billion Dollar One.
What assholes.
I was like, when I saw his face,
I pictured, I could have sworn he was the mugger
in one of the Batman movies.
So I want it to be a connected universe
where this one guy just goes around
killing billionaires' kids' parents.
No, no, no, those are just the billionaires.
Like, if you go kids' parents, it's confusing.
Right, the billionaires, right.
That took me a second to catch up on.
I'm not...
Why did he blow up their plane?
For the billions?
Like he was going to get their money?
Yeah.
He was working for the guy that was going to get their money.
Who looked like...
Guys, the gunshot was to put a nice button on the end of that discussion.
Yeah, we'll move on.
Hey, can I get my stupid drink?
Yeah.
Both of them.
Bring him...
One whiskey and one Sprite.
Bring him his Scotch Fairy.
I got humiliated for it.
I'm sorry, whiskey Sprite.
Yeah.
A whiskey Sprite for my man
Dale. I got humiliated for it
and now I don't even get to drink it. I'm sorry.
Yeah, you should be. Sorry.
We were friends until the game starts.
No, we weren't. Alright.
Keith, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw a little indie sci-fi flick,
Last Jedi.
Full title.
And where do you
land on that? I'm still...
I have mixed feelings
about it.
Without spoilers, I liked it except uh there's a couple like colloquialisms that like you and me might use
in conversation that now uh you know what i like where your head's at thank you yeah that was one
that really stood out to me it's like why would they say i like where your head's at that doesn't
seem like a galaxy far, far away. Yeah.
But real quick before we say anything further,
who still hasn't seen it and doesn't want to hear any spoilers?
A lot of you.
Okay.
Well, keep it cool.
Some characters say some terms that Joe Bob on the street might say,
and I'm like, well, they wouldn't say that in a galaxy far, far away.
Yeah, that's reasonable criticism.
I liked it.
Thank you so much. I mean, it's a a star war you're not going to hate it i don't know just screams out cowabunga dudes
like you're joking but like you're not far off
i will say i will say one of the things i have a problem with is definitely something
that the ninja turtles have screamed at some point in their life.
Use the force. Eat my shorts.
I mean, they're going for a younger
audience. When Chewbacca
said, give me a jangle, catch you on the jangle,
I thought that was too far.
That was definitely too much.
Remember, Ray,
avoid the noise.
Did anybody
see it and hate it?
We only did one poll in the audience
in a negative way.
I mean, you know,
I'm happy they're just going to keep making them
and there'll be 40 of them
and we'll sit back and go,
oh, remember 8?
Nope.
They're all a blur.
Okay.
Keith, would you happen to have
any suggestions for me
For I'm looking for the best movie
I've never seen
Have you seen the Newton Boys
I haven't because
Why would that be good
I love the Newton Boys
It's a link later
It's a link later
It's about they're like
Bank robbers in the 20s
Or some shit
Yeah
And who plays the Newton Boys
McConaughey Ethan Hawke Ski Ulrich Vincent D'Onofrio Oh okay robbers in the 20s or some shit yeah and who plays the newton boys mcconaughey ethan hawks
e ulrich vincent d'onofrio oh okay those are good actors the female lead it's a solid movie i love
that movie all right any other newton boys fans thank you some of the filmed in Austin. No big deal. That rocketed to number 27 on my list.
Sweet.
Of movies to check out.
But Linklater's done some movies that I absolutely love,
so I do owe him that to check that one out.
Yeah.
Why did it do well?
It was just poorly marketed or something?
I mean, it's not everybody's taste.
Well, I just asked you for the best movie I've ever seen.
You give me something that's only some people like it?
I like it. Okay.
I also look up
because of the most successful bank robbers
in history because they all
live. They get away
with everything. So the very end of the movie
they show you interviews
with Johnny Carson with those cowboys that were like going around robbing places.
I love it.
I might just fast forward to that part.
That's fine.
Dale, have you got a suggestion for me
other than that fucking time travel bullshit?
Yeah, I'm not going to bring that up again
because I want to break that cycle.
Have you seen Attack the Block?
Yes.
Okay.
That's a very good recommendation on your part
if I hadn't seen it, but I have
seen it. Alright, then I guess I'll bring up
Predestination again. You can't break this
time lock.
No matter how hard I try.
But Finn from the latest Star Wars movies,
John Boyega, he's in Attack the Block.
Yes, he is.
And you get to hear him with his original accent.
He's got his British accent in that movie.
And it's really good.
You hear it sometimes in Star Wars.
Oh, yeah.
There was one thing he said that I was like,
oh, shit, that was kind of British-y.
He ordered crisps at the cafeteria.
That's what it was.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Jeff, have you thought of another one that I should see?
out of another one that I should see?
Have you seen One Night in Old Mexico?
No.
It sounds like a setup.
How old?
Wait.
How One Night was it?
That's another
Robert Duvall movie okay for some reason i got
robert duvall movies in my what was that last robert duvall you recommended the outfit the
outfit and then now you're saying there's the other one also what's it called again
one night one night in old mexico in old mexico
yeah it's getting...
I'm starting to think maybe that's not the title or something.
Like, the reaction of the crowd makes me think
maybe I dreamt a movie.
It's like the whole thing.
Robert Duvall has to visit the land of the dead
to find his grandfather.
That's just Coco. Never mind.
God, that was a good movie.
I think that might be it.
All right, I'll try to remember to not ask you that tomorrow night.
No, I'll have one tomorrow.
I didn't write one down tonight.
Oh, okay.
So two more nights of taking crazy nights
and, you know,
we'll see if you can,
you know,
take home a few more wins,
Jeff.
Yeah, we'll see.
I hope so.
I mean, the crowd
really got your back.
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay!
Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay! Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, That's just your car alarm That's fine
Bring me a chair
No you were really mad
Well cause I didn't have enough chairs
Look you said
It was an email and you said
Bring me five and five chairs
Is what you said
So I brought you ten chairs
and you're like no you idiot
five tall chairs and five
little chairs. You were upset.
You were pretty upset.
There's no way I called you an idiot.
You piece of shit.
Where's my chairs?
Hey fuck bag.
I ran. I didn't respond. I just ran
away.
Alright, well, I'm glad that
you're here to tell the story.
Me too. You know, because all
these monsters in show business,
they need to be
outed.
People need to know about
my crazy
obsession with chairs.
If you don't bring me the right number of chairs,
I'm going to call you all sorts of things.
You could have just jerked off into a plant.
I would have been fine with that.
Right?
I know, everybody, there's degrees of what people want.
All right.
Okay, so I think I was about to say, turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
Name tags, we've got name tags.
So many beautiful ones.
Dale has picked his already.
Keith is going out into the crowd.
Jeff is covering his already. Keith is going out into the crowd. Jeff is covering his eyes.
Really giving a good look around.
And while you guys finish up, we're going to go to a brief commercial message.
Hey, you guys.
There aren't any ads in this episode.
So I just want to take a moment to say that if you're in the Los Angeles area on January 2, Doug Loves Movies is back at the UCB Theater Franklin location at 8 o'clock.
Normally we're a little later, so this is an earlier one.
8 o'clock, January 2, UCB Franklin.
And then on January 9, Getting Doug with High is going to be performed.
I don't know if performed is the right word.
It's going to be presented live at the Troubadour in West Hollywood.
That's on January 9th.
For links and tickets to these shows and others, go to Douglovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com.
Yeah.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back. Dale just made a really funny joke
So good
Sorry listeners
It was a really good joke
But thank you to everybody
For bringing name tags
And being so enthusiastic
But only three
What looks to me like the flimsiest of posters
have been chosen.
What do you got there, Keith?
I, Tanya. I'm guessing this young
lady's name is Tanya.
Tanya.
I have not seen it yet, but it's
in the theaters. It's a neon film.
Yep, and it's really good.
Alright, there you go. I, Tanya.
She looks like she photoshopped her head
incorrectly and like her eyes
are just a little too far apart
on Margot Robbie's body.
So it looks like you could fit like three more eyes
in between her eyes.
And that's what I liked about it.
Wow.
Just a little downsy. Just a little downsy.
Just a little downsy.
It's fine.
I know.
I didn't know how to stop it.
It was getting...
The more he spoke, the worse it got.
Dale?
I got Walt Side Story. Yeah. Is that the guy that was chanting, Dale? I got Walt Side Story.
Is that the guy that was chanting Dale?
The only one who chanted Dale
right there at the end.
And I reward narcissism.
Specifically, my narcissism.
That's fair.
Good job, dude.
Thank you. Oh, him?
Yeah, Walt.
I thought you were talking about me again.
The only achievement that's happened here
is he got you to pick his name tag.
You're not going to win, so...
All I heard was you
and win.
It helps him. It helps him when I say he's going to lose.
Yeah. It helps him It helps him When I say he's gonna lose Yeah We'll get a few more believers
By the end of this podcast
It's like that scene
In Suicide Squad
Where Will Smith
Gets that guy mad
So then he makes fire
And kills a bunch of monsters
The one kind of okay scene
Jeff
I never saw
Suicide Squad.
Were you confused
and thinking you could only see it if you
signed up? Yeah, yeah.
I was like, not yet.
I mean, no.
I mean, no.
I mean, no.
We'll see.
I'm playing for Jedidiah Hard. name is jetta dia and he put junior
mints on the on his board yeah you you you yank some junior mints off of a name tag a couple days
ago uh so that seems to be a real uh weak spot for jeff if you know he's gonna be on the show
candy of choice junior mints so mean, it certainly seems like it.
It sounds like maybe Keith wants to talk some shit about Junior Mints.
It's fine, I guess. It's the whiskey sprites of candies.
Wait, no, wait, hold on.
Junior Mints are good.
Who cares?
They're very refreshing.
That's what I'm saying.
They're the whiskey sprites of candies.
They're delicious.
Hey, Cap City, can I have a whiskey sprite?
I'm real curious.
If anybody's listening, I would like a whiskey spray. Okay. Alright.
So,
don't make me shoot my confetti gun again.
I feel bad
enough about this mess.
Alright. Um, okay. I won't yell at you. I feel bad enough about this mess. All right.
Okay.
I won't yell at you.
I'm not afraid to yell at you.
It's really scary.
Doesn't this hat soften my image a little bit? No, it makes it worse.
Okay, so I'm very excited to say that since we're in Austin,
I like to have a very special guest join us on stage
because one of the games we play frequently on the show
is called Alex's, Jason, and Deb's IMDb game.
And Alex Diamond is here tonight.
Hello.
I neither expected nor deserved that, but thank you.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
That sounded like more than there were for Jeff. Way more than there were for Jeff.
Way more than there were for Dale.
And Keith has just dug such a hole for himself.
I'm just happy to be here.
Right?
But so, are you playing the game the way I play it or the way you play it?
We can play it the way you play it.
This is your podcast.
Okay. Well, I imagine it's for way you play it? We can play it the way you play it. This is your podcast. Okay.
Well, I imagine it's for time and to keep the scores closer together.
You only play the top three on the IMDb page.
We should give it a plug on Jason and Deb, Weekday Mornings.
Woo!
Our ratings are fine.
You don't have to.
No, it's just my name isn't on the show.
101X, right?
101X.com.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was on this morning.
I played and it was a rare loss for me on that show.
Very rare loss.
Yeah.
You're pretty dominant when we play.
It was a tough one today.
It was tricky.
Hmm?
Yeah.
You risked it all?
It was a real head scratcher or bell ringer Depending on Depending on what kind of hat you got
But
Yeah, so thank you for coming down
Basically this is so that I can play the game
Right
We shout out our own name and we think we know
What actor or actress it might be
That you've gleaned the top
Known for from on the IMDB page
Yeah, that was a sentence yeah
i followed along i know maybe you're better at describing it than i am but also you play it with
people who play it all the time so you don't have to describe it yeah exactly yeah we do uh have a
non-descriptive theme song that we play on the show that you requested oh yeah yeah no somebody
said they would send it along and i think That's fun to play the theme from
The radio show, so let's do that
We can talk about the weather
But that just seems
A bit too boring to me
We can talk blues, but I'm sure
That it'll just give me the blues
So grab your soda pop
And your jimmy pop, and let those moving
Pitchers roll, let's talk
Talkies with Jason and Dab And Doug.
So grab your soda pop and your jiffy pop.
That's my favorite part.
Didn't it make you just want to wiggle one finger in the air?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's very...
Very speakeasy. Yeah. There's trivia in the air? Yeah. Yeah, it's very... Very speakeasy.
Yeah.
There's trivia in the back, you guys.
Thanks to listener Randall.
Naked girls and trivia in the back.
And so...
So it's called Talkin' Talkies on their show,
but on my show, I call it Alex's, Jason's, and Deb's IMDb game.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
Four rounds plus a tiebreaker?
There are.
I will say there is a theme.
I was, for the first time, I can say, helped constructing this theme by my wife.
My wife!
There you go.
Oh, my God.
Somebody choked to death on that one.
Number one.
My life!
What?
What just happened?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing happened.
Thank you.
They gave it to him.
What's that?
Crash is the first movie.
Oh, wow.
There's lots of people in that one.
Who is also in Fast and...
Doug?
Do you want me to finish it?
Can you?
Is that allowed if you buzz in the middle of it?
I think you should probably.
You're committed now.
Yeah, yeah.
Crash and what was the second one?
Fast and.
I said fast and.
Fast and.
So I pretty much boned myself, but I'm going to give it a try.
Okay.
Is it ludicrous?
Yeah.
Yeah.
God, that was a fun game.
For the purposes of bonus point implications,
I'll finish that that was Fast and Furious 6.
Okay.
So you could potentially get two bonus points here.
All right. If you want to name the get two bonus points here. All right.
You want to name the other two things?
Chris ludicrous bridges is known for.
Let's go furious seven and fate of the furious,
furious seven and fast five.
So I'll still take those two points total.
So of course,
of course,
number two, points total so far. Of course.
Number two.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo from 2009.
Prometheus. Doug. Doug.
This seems familiar
Stellan Starsgard?
No
Oh shit
You lose a point
Oh damn it
Forgot about that
You're back down to one
I only have one
What does everybody else have?
Nothing
Zero
But we're not done with this one
So we can keep going
Can we go negative or zero the floor?
Oh you can go negative for sure.
All right, I'll shut up.
Is zero the floor?
All right, so that was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo from 2009.
Prometheus.
Sherlock Holmes, A Game of Shadows,
and
The Drop.
Anybody?
Wow. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,
Prometheus,
Sherlock Holmes,
A Game of Shadows, and
The Drop.
That's somebody's top four.
I can tell you the years on any of those if it will help,
but by the shaking of heads, I'm assuming it will not.
Yeah, I think we just have to move on.
Yeah.
Okay, if everybody's up.
Nobody's got a guess.
As Noomi Rapace, the girl with the dragon tattoo.
Of course.
From the original one.
Yeah.
I thought, in my head, I thought you said the girl with the pearl earring.
I don't think I did.
And I ran, no, you definitely didn't.
I said it was in my head.
I blame my own head for it.
But anyway, that's okay.
So, so far we've got, the first round was who?
The first round was Ludacris.
Ludacris and Naomi Rapace. And Noomi Rapace,
yeah. Noomi.
Yeah.
Okay. She's
not from around here.
So the score is
one to zero. Let's go. One to zero.
Here we go.
The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the
Ring.
Pirates of the Caribbean, The Curse of the Black Pearl.
I hear you.
Dale.
Yeah?
Orlando Bloom.
Yes, very good.
Oh!
So, Return of the King.
Guys, please, this is just the beginning.
Return of the King and the Two Towers?
We were looking for Kingdom of Heaven and the Two Towers,
so you do get one extra point taking the lead.
There we go.
Wow.
Two points for Dale.
So we're going into our last one,
barring any tiebreaker situation here.
This one actually begins with a TV show.
Whoa.
I don't want to throw everybody off too much, but...
New Heart.
What the fuck?
Doug.
Doug.
Rick Moranis.
No.
Damn it.
Back to zero.
So we'll keep going here.
Unless, it looks like Jeff's ready to buzz in.
Are you, you want to hold off?
Yeah, I want one more.
Okay, okay.
I think I'm.
You're there?
Yeah.
Okay.
I got a pretty good idea.
Say another one.
So it starts with Newhart,
then goes to the movie The Rescuers,
and then...
Elf.
Keith.
Jeff.
Keith.
Is it Bob Newhart?
Yeah.
Bob Newhart.
From the TV show Newhart.
You could potentially get a bonus point here
for guessing the fourth thing on Bob Newhart's...
You know, what's Bob Newhart's fourth thing?
I've got a fun guess.
Okay.
All right, you're my lifeline one.
No, I'm not.
All right, I do not have a guess.
Do you want to name any movie or TV show that exists?
Bob Newhart was in...
Shut up.
Love Actually.
There's a lot of people in that.
Here's my guess.
Rescuers Down Under?
That's a great guess.
Here's my guess.
Can I guess?
Sure.
The Bob Newhart Show. No. No. That's a great guess as That's my guess. Can I guess? Sure. The Bob Newhart Show.
No.
No.
That's a great guess as well.
Legally Blonde 2.
Whoa!
Red, white, and blonde?
Red, white, and blonde.
I didn't even know he was in that.
Yeah, who knew?
Okay.
But I believe that with two points, Dale is our winner.
Is that correct?
Dale wins it.
That's correct.
I guess I'm the only one not surprised, but that's cool.
Congratulations there.
Let's play the tiebreaker for fun.
Oh, sure, sure.
I just closed it, but I will open it again.
Open it!
I will.
So.
What?
Someone get Alex a chair.
PTSD trigger.
There's a theme.
There is a theme.
Yeah. I don't know if this will help or not,
but the Lord of the Rings,
the return of the King V for Vendetta.
It seems like a four way tie.
So anybody first,
I haven't,
I didn't say first hugo weaving yeah
that's correct yeah okay uh do you want any bonuses on that one sure he's also in uh they
probably also list the the matrix and uh uh captain america uh the world's oldest soldier. Transformers.
It was
The Fellowship of the Ring and The Matrix.
I got one for The Matrix.
We were looking for people
who in the Christmas spirit have played
elves.
Those are all elves.
Noomi Ripace played an elf?
She is apparently playing an elf in the upcoming terrible-looking Netflix movie Bright with
Will Smith playing a cop whose partner is an orc.
You worked an upcoming movie into the theme?
Well, I didn't ask about the movie.
Yeah, that's true.
Thank you so much for being here.
You're welcome.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you so much for being here.
You're welcome. Thank you for having me.
Do you want to plug anything before you go?
Just follow at that Alex D on Twitter.
I write a short story every day.
I post a bunch of them to 365x365.com.
So check them out.
Right on. Thank you, Alex. And at 101X.com.
Thanks, everybody.
Yeah.
Happy holidays. so check them out right on thank you alex.com thanks everybody yeah happy holidays to you and yours he's in morning radio so he'll probably leave right now probably go straight out the door thanks for staying up late alex i still really want a
whiskey sprite for the record oh okay let's it's on the record you guys It's on the record, you guys.
It's official.
He wants a whiskey Sprite.
I'm looking around. I feel like it's not going to happen. That was my nickname
in college.
If you don't get one
by the end of the show, we'll set you up
with one after the show.
I think the bar is just trying to build anticipation
for how good of a drink this is
going to be. I'm so excited.
You're going to love it.
What does it taste like?
Does it taste like Sprite with whiskey in it?
Yeah, almost exactly like that.
Because that sounds awful to me.
Honestly, more like a whiskey with just a little bit of Sprite in it.
Ugh.
But in a good way, right?
Oh.
There we go.
all right are you guys okay with this show going a little long oh no we're doing good we're in good shape it's not gonna be long
drag it out
uh but this is gonna be a very competitive Last Man Stanton.
Because I'm going to play, and all of the gentlemen on stage.
Thank you.
Oh.
The whiskey Sprite is here.
Keith is trying it.
He's swirling it around. He's really giving it a good taste. It's whiskey and Sprite is here. Keith is trying it. He's swirling it around.
He's really giving it a good taste.
It's whiskey and Sprite. That's what it is.
Fair enough.
It's what your grandfather drank before he lost that war.
Yes. Oh my god!
Is there more confetti?
Is there more confetti? Is there more confetti?
Can I try it?
Oh yeah, please.
Don't joke.
I feel like one little straw worth is too much.
That's accurate.
You know what?
Here's another one.
I mean, I wouldn't drink it.
Like, I wouldn't drink a whole drink of it,
but it really helps the whiskey to taste less awful.
Hey, to your health.
It's like a spoonful of sugar in a whiskey.
So I say yes.
Yeah, if you have to drink whiskey,
fucking Sprite it up.
And you're welcome, whiskey companies,
for a new campaign slogan.
Sprite it up.
All right, so Dale's going to get to go first.
And then we'll go to Keith and then me and then Jeff.
And we'll name the movies of whatever person gets suggested.
Do I get to suggest?
No.
That happened that one night when you were a little down
and I wanted to try to prop you up a little bit.
Tonight you're a champion.
I just remember that night as the night I won.
I didn't realize it was a pick-me-up.
So you're saying it didn't work?
I guess not.
So you just won and then we're still sad?
Yeah.
Come on, Cheese Man. That's Yeah. Come on, Cheese Man.
That's gone.
Come on, Cheese Man.
Please just Dale.
You're doing great.
Yeah.
Dale, Dale, Dale.
There we go.
You're going to be off the bench in no time, Rudy.
They're actually just ordering.
They just want queso.
Cheese, cheese, cheese. They're actually just ordering There's one queso There is a person in the audience Who goes by the Twitter handle
Okay, it's Marissa
Oh, that's me
Well, then I guess you do get to pick
What? That's crazy.
Are you here?
Okay, it's me, Marissa.
It's Marissa.
Okay, it's Marissa.
Are you super shy, Marissa?
I'm here.
Okay.
Why are you called okay, it's Marissa?
I don't know.
I actually created that Twitter in college.
A professor, his class is too big, so he required everyone to have a Twitter account.
Is this...
That story is still going?
No, it's just you're not on microphone, so the listeners are probably like,
what is happening right now?
How complicated could it be?
It's okay, Marissa.
Or wait, okay, it's Marissa.
So your college professor made you start a Twitter.
Okay, it's Marissa.
He just wanted followers.
It's a good college assignment.
He wanted to slide into your DMs, Marissa.
He wanted to slide into your DMs, Marissa.
Right?
He made everybody share with the class.
This guy's a genius.
I mean, used to be.
That's not cool anymore.
Stop it, man.
Stop it. All right.
So you got a suggestion for a name
for us tonight
you think it's a good one
I hope so too
I have a list of them
let's play that way
we'll take the first one that you think
you want to go with and then we'll
debate if we need another one from you
Sally Field
Sally Field I'm Field, I'm in.
Yeah, I know Sally Field a little bit.
All right.
Don't forget, you each have a lifeline as well.
Dale, start us off.
The films, many times people say Sally Fields.
I say, you're talking about fucking cookies.
say Sally Fields.
I say,
you're talking about fucking cookies.
It's Mrs. Fields
and Sally Field.
And I need another
goddamn chair.
It's not funny.
I thought about that
for a really long time.
I just want you to know.
I'm glad one of us is past it.
All these years you'd be like,
if he ever asked me to be a guest on his show,
I am going to tell him what happened.
Cheers.
I mean, I see you all the time.
You could have just told me about it.
This is funnier.
This is better.
Yeah.
I thought they'd be on my side.
They're not.
It's fine.
All right.
I thought we all stand in unity.
Cheers. Never mind. I'm done. Sorry.
I mean, you saw when you got here that there were the right number of chairs on the stage.
And it's because the staff here has been yelled at enough that they finally got it right.
I saw him talking to the stage set up guy before the show.
Yeah, whatever you do, he's going to hate it.
Trust me, just be ready for the onslaught.
Because I coached him
emotionally. I've been here,
man, but now look at me, I'm on stage.
I thought it was perfect, except I wanted to move
the seats back a little bit so this guy doesn't have
a terrible seat. He still has a bad seat, but
you know.
It's never enough.
It's never enough? Oh, he's alright with it.
He just sits over there and closes his eyes
and pretends he's listening for free.
This is what it'll feel like tomorrow.
Okay, so So Dale goes first
Have you said a Sally Field movie yet?
Uh, yeah
We'll go Mrs. Doubtfire
Oh, okay
That's a good one
Keith
Amazing Spider-Man
What? Oh, shit You got a real You got a real live one out there Keith Amazing Spider-Man
Oh shit
You got a real
You got a real live one out there
Am I wrong?
Yeah you gotta be careful
With them
Them movies
Cause they
The titles are tricky
Is that not what it's called?
Wait
Yeah no
Well
Cause you know
There's been a few
I've said too much.
Just pick something else.
Tanya, help me.
Tanya.
What, you're going to your lifeline already?
I'm getting it out of the way.
All right.
What did I mean to say?
Oh, don't do what he meant to say.
Give him something else.
Because what he meant to say is going to come to light shortly.
You're telling him Forrest Gump?
Like, that's a surprise?
Okay. Wait. Hang on. Why is there more than
one?
Which person is his lifeline?
The Forrest Gump person isn't even
his lifeline? No, she is. The other one isn't.
Oh, the other one.
The other one. Please don't keep saying movie
titles because we went
to one audience member specifically.
Not everybody. Alright, so which one of those do you want to use, Keith? titles because it's we went to one audience member specifically not everybody all right
so which one of those do you want to use Keith okay I'll take steel Magnolias Jeff stops yelling Jeff, stop yelling out things.
I'll take punchline.
Yep.
It's right.
I don't care if you like it.
How dare he say that.
Beethoven.
Now, why would you use your lifeline
for saying something so incredibly wrong?
She's the mom in Beethoven.
No, she isn't.
You sound way more confident.
That was...
Shit.
No, I was...
I was asking my guy I'm playing for.
Your name is Beethoven?
Is it?
Shit.
Smokey and the Bandit.
She isn't Smokey and the Bandit
Smokey the Bandit is your answer?
It is now
You know I go with Smokey and the Beethoven?
If I could I would
So she's not in Beethoven 2 either
I'm guessing.
Where are we at?
Me.
Yeah, so I apologize for, I thought that your Spider-Man problems
would be cleared up by the time I got back around to you.
We're not.
It's not called The Amazing Spider-Man.
We went a different way with it.
All right.
I thought it was cool.
Yeah.
No, I mean. Emma Stone? Kind it. All right. I thought it was Stone. Yeah. No.
I mean, kind of.
All right.
It's tricky.
Smokey and the Bandit, too.
Yeah, there's probably a picture of her.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
That's my answer.
Picture of her in a frame or something.
But now I'm really confused about Sally Field.
She's in Spider-Man.
She's in Amazing Spider-Man?
Yeah.
I said that, The Amazing Spider-Man.
Yeah, that's why I'm going back
and trying to give you credit for it.
Okay.
Because I thought she was...
I get it now.
No. She's not
Topher's Aunt May.
Topher? Yeah. What?
You mean Christopher
Toby.
Toby.
Whatever.
She's not
Toby's Aunt May. That's why I fucked up. She's Eduardo's. I thought she was Toby's Aunt May
that's why I fucked up
because I thought she was
she's Eduardo's
I thought she was Toby's
got it
okay
alright so
for that I consider myself out
and
it's
Jeff's turn
oh
alright
not without my daughter.
Nice pull.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2.
Piece of shit.
I'm out.
What, really?
I'm out.
That's it.
I'm sorry.
This is my nightmare.
That's fine.
All right.
Thank you for being here.
Thanks.
I mean, I need that chair.
Solid.
Jeff.
She's in that movie Norma Rae.
Yeah, she is.
That's a big one.
We're sure she wasn't in Beethoven.
I'm going to leave it up afterwards. I don't know why you'd confuse her with
Bonnie Hunt.
But just to help you out, Sally Field isn't in
Jerry Maguire either.
But she's in Twister. That's Holly. Never mind.
That's Helen Hunt.
I call her Holly.
You don't even know who Bonnie Hunt is?
She's from Beethoven.
And for some reason with that round of applause
I'll bow out
The guy I'm playing for is clapping for me bowing out
I think that's great
You support me no matter what
And I love you
Jeff do you have another one?
Yeah she's in a movie called Eye for an Eye
She is?
I thought that was just another title for not without my
daughter no not without my daughter she's like married to and then there's a coup and then
she's married in kind of like she's her husband is of wherever they're they're at i'm surprised
that you haven't said you seem seem like you like James Garner.
Yeah.
She was in a movie with him called Murphy's Law.
Murphy's Law.
I was going to say that, but you know what?
You were?
If it could have gone wrong.
What about that other Burt Reynolds movie?
Hooper.
Hooper?
Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait.
Was she in, I think she was in Deep Impact.
No.
She wasn't the vice president?
No.
Taya Leone?
No.
For some reason, hearing her name physically hurt me.
It was like I got punched right in the sternum,
and I had to catch my breath real quick just because I heard it out loud.
Well, Jeff, you're our winner, and that means...
Who gets all the prizes?
What's the name on there?
Jenna Dye.
Jenna Dye.
Come get your prizes, dude.
The games are over?
That's it.
We lost. So with a score of one to one, Jeff wins?
Okay, that's fine.
What?
Didn't I win the first?
Only the last game counted.
The first game didn't count for anything.
Dale, this is the fourth time in a row you've been on.
I'll protest every single time.
But you haven't protested yet.
Wow, you took those prizes like a thief in the night.
He's out.
He's already wearing the shoes.
That's amazing.
Say what you will, but he's got game.
Thirteens.
Boo.
So ten people liked it.
It was fun.
Let's do some plugs.
Jeff, what do you got?
I got an album coming out January 12th.
You can pre-order it right now on iTunes.
Or the others.
All the other ones.
The Orchard, whatever.
January 4th through the 7th,
I'll be at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, Ohio.
January 24th, I'm in Dallas.
Now listen closely, Austin.
January 24th, I'm in Dallas.
January 26th, I'm in Dallas. Now listen closely, Austin. January 24th, I'm in Dallas. January 26th, I'm in Houston.
What happens right there in the middle of both of those things?
There's a whole day and a town called Austin.
So maybe I can work something out in Austin for the 25th.
What day of the week is the 25th?
Oh, man. Yeah.
It's a Thursday? It's a Friday. It's a Thursday.
I was listening
to the lady who remembered Sally Field
was in Forrest Gump. I thought she was the smartest
person alive.
It's Thursday. It's a Thursday.
It'll probably just be at someone's house
But whatever, we'll do it
Alright, yeah, let's find Jeff a venue
For Thursday, January something
25th
Well, I got an Austin plug to do
When it gets to me
I got just two more dates
The 27th, I'm in Lafayette, Louisiana.
The 28th, I'm in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
And I'm on Instagram, at Jeff Tate.
Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate.
Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate.
Love not Tate.
Love not Tate.
I don't like the association there.
Dale Cheeseman, you know, we've had four really fun nights with you.
You seem to really learn how everything works.
Can't wait to see you again
but what have you got to plug dude?
five or six more of these
I might get it down
but
yeah
if you need help
finding a venue
in Austin
I can help you
January 19th
I'm here headlining
a coffee shop
so
could probably put you
in touch with a barista
I'm so sorry
I sold it
we booked that three years. I'm so sorry I sold it.
We booked that three years ago.
I'm so sorry.
I'll be here January 19th at Kick Butt Coffee,
which is actually, it's a great show.
Check it out.
If you're listening to this,
and you live in Houston, and you listened to it right after it came out,
and you didn't wait around,
I'm doing a Christmas show this Friday at the Secret Group in Houston and you listen to it right after it came out and you didn't wait around. I'm doing a Christmas show
this Friday at the Secret Group
in Houston. Get tickets to that.
It's going to be fun.
And yeah.
We'll see you around.
Thank you, Dale Cheeseman.
Thank you, Dale Cheeseman.
Keith Ruckus.
It's me.
Yes.
Hi.
Come see Butt Stuff Bingo every Tuesday.
Come see Butt Stuff Bingo every Tuesday at the Highball at 10 o'clock.
It's gross.
It's disgusting.
There's nudity.
There's butt plugs.
You'll hate yourself for watching it and you'll leave disappointed.
Please come see it.
Oh, cool. This is on Tuesdays?
Every Tuesday.
At 10 o'clock at night.
Everyone's favorite time. You tell us exactly how to avoid it.
Yeah. You don't
want to go to this. Where do you want to not go
at 10 o'clock on Tuesday night?
The highball, ladies and gentlemen.
And get my book of sad breakup poetry about Dagan and Austin,
Hasidic Jew Night at the Roller Rink at KeithRuckus.com.
Yes.
Great job.
Great job, first-time guest Keith Ruckus.
Let's hear it for all of them as they pack up.
Great job, first time guest, Keith Ruckus.
Let's hear it for all of them as they pack up.
Jeff Tate, Dale Cheeseman, Keith Ruckus.
Oh, there's some fucking chairs.
Oh, shit. Okay, we're just looking to see about potential lawsuits.
Did you guys, yeah, was there any, did you get any shrapnel?
That was, you know, that was a perfect piece of comedy except for the
violent part.
I ask for more chairs
with my voice. I don't physically throw
things at people.
Okay, so
here's what I was going to say.
I've got exciting news, everybody.
Give me your address, and I'll come throw a chair at you.
Now, I don't think I'm supposed to announce this yet,
because I don't think it's on sale yet,
but I'm going to say it anyway, because I'm supposed to announce this yet because I don't think it's on sale yet but I'm going to say it anyway
because I'm super excited about this
I'm going to sit in with
my friends in Master Pancake
coming up
I don't know how soon it will go on sale
hopefully it's on sale
January 14th over at the Alamo
South Lamar
we are going to interrupt.
There will be blood.
Very controversial choice.
Because some people find that movie sacred
and others will enjoy this a great deal.
So for those people, please come out to that.
And thank you to the Cap City Comedy Club So for those people, please come out to that.
And thank you to the Cap City Comedy Club and to all you guys for coming out on a Monday night.
I always have a great time here.
Happy holidays, and as always,
Walmart is a shithead.
And dudes who tell women to smile are a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.