Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Karen Anderson, and Graham Elwood Guest
Episode Date: September 15, 2013Live from The Firebird in St. Louis, MO, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Karen Anderson, and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice ...at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies!
Hey ev-
Hey ev-
Okay, I'm gonna use two.
Hey everybody!
My name is Doug and I love movies!
Coming to you for the first time, but it sounds like I've been here for forever,
from the Firebird in St. Louis, Missouri!
Hey!
It's Saturday, September 14th Right?
Two Oceans 13
Let me see those name tags, St. Louis
Oh boy
We have like a
Full blown robot costume
Very unhappy robot, angry robot.
His face is angry, but his arms just hang by his side.
Like he can't properly fight.
What is all those little figures supposed to be?
My ten favorite guests.
Ten favorite guests of Doug Lowe's movies,
all little figurines sitting around a table.
Everybody else you lose.
Name three of your favorite guests.
Paul F. Tompkins.
Kumail Nanjiani.
Mark Maron.
Are all on there.
Along with other ones.
That's awesome.
I was kidding about everybody else.
You guys can still participate.
What is those?
What's that food you have in the front row?
Chicken?
Chicken biscuits?
In a biscuit?
What's your name?
Pat.
Pat.
Where does it say Pat on there?
Zero trans Pats.
You snuck it in on me, Pat.
Well done.
There's somebody named Brandy and Mike and Megan and some inglorious bastards.
Wait, what's your name?
Laura.
Laura, inglorious bastards. Okay, I get it now. Bastards? Wait, what's your name? Laura.
Inglorious Bastards.
Okay.
I get it now.
The robot's falling to the ground.
There's a baby, not a real one,
because I don't think this club would let babies in.
A lot of great name tags.
Thank you guys so much for bringing those,
and you know when to whip them out later.
I don't know if you can tell in the sound of my voice,
but I am stuffed.
We just did a dining with Doug and Karen here at the Firebird
with the amazing Gorilla Food Truck.
I put this microphone on stage myself
and I didn't bother to set the height on it.
And now I don't have enough
free hands to to make it happen but I'm gonna work on it for the next little bit
this this this thing down here this part is so tight am I turning it the wrong
way Lucy lefty Lucy here we got a pro here. Oh!
Oh!
Right?
Isn't that a tight motherfucker?
Jesus Christ.
That's tight.
Yeah, I'll hang on to this while you do that.
That is like, holy shit.
Who needs a shake weight when you have one of those?
It's quite a workout.
Oh, that's perfect.
Thanks, dude.
Oh, and my scripts fell on the floor, he picked it and he ran off on the side.
That was super roadie action.
I got to remind me to knock a mic stand over later to see if he runs out and sets it.
Sets it right, right away.
Because I love those guys.
Yeah, so go ahead and listen to Dining with Doug and Karen
with the amazing Gorilla Street food truck.
They're parked outside all night for your culinary delight,
so do it right, get it tight, all right.
Sometimes I write these things down when I'm high,
and then later I read them when I'm high
out loud to an audience.
Since last I spoke and you listened, I recorded Events and Interruption podcast number 23 in New York City.
And it's available for two bucks in the comedy album section of iTunes soon or now.
And from the corrections department, Pete Holmes didn't get all the names to Devil Wears Prada
because it was the asparagus pee category
as I described it.
He just got all the names
because he bid all the names
and then the next person in line
just said name that movie.
And then
Pete couldn't.
He should be embarrassed either way.
Let's look at the prize bag, you guys.
There's a lot of stuff in here.
It's very chock full of stuff for our first show in St. Louis.
First Doug Loves Movies.
Of course, I've been here many times doing stand-up and stuff.
Brought a couple of my CDs, of course.
Gateway Doug and Smug Life. We've got,
I got to hang on to the copy of the Leonard Maltin Game of Rules, but I'll throw one of those in
there. The Doug Diggs It that I found in a bargain bin and I love because it stars our good friend
Tom Lennon is 17 again. So you get a copy of that. Then you can verify for me later
if it's as good as I think
it is.
You might disagree. You might go,
you know, hey dude, that movie's for children.
The fuck is wrong
with you? Now, neither
Lee Child nor Jack Reacher
is here tonight, but one of the guests
brought a copy of the book One Shot
that is, I love how
it says on the front, a Reacher novel, oh, it's a Reacher, I gotta get that, I like all the Reachers,
but we got some, oh, we got a t-shirt from Gorilla Street Food truck, yeah, so that's neat,
and there's a bunch of shirts in here, there's another one one of our guests will have to explain.
And then also a shirt that somebody gave to me that says on it,
Dazed Vixens. And it's got kind of like a silhouette of a lady with a nice boob.
A little side boob action.
And then she's blowing some sort of smoke out.
I venture to guess it might be marijuana smoke.
And another weird thing.
Lots of things we're going to have to get these guests to explain,
so let's get them out here.
Local comedy detectives probably already know who the three guests are.
Three of my favorites and probably three of yours.
Please welcome Karen Anderson, Graham Elwood, and Jeff Tate.
So just go sit down.
Just go sit down.
Just no hugging and kissing.
Just sit the hell down.
What's up?
Hi. Oh, hi.
Oh, who will?
We should go like that so we can all see better.
Say what? Nothing.
You start by disrupting and then not following through with whatever
it is. Just tell everybody.
I thought it would be nice if Graham
could be able to see down that side.
Oh, thank you. I have a lot of dinner
parties.
Make sure everybody
Now Jeff has to scoot back.
You know we all just have to keep doing that.
The idea is we're all in a row
and everyone sitting directly ahead of us can see us.
We don't have to see each other. There you go.
That's it.
That's the right idea.
There you go.
Hi, Jeff. Oh, let's do it like The Voice.
Let's all turn our chairs around,
and when the audience sounds interesting,
we'll spin around.
Oh, I really like that laugh.
Hello.
All right, we might as well start with him
since he's already spoken twice before being introduced.
The master of all dialects, it's Graham Elwood, everybody.
Ho, ho, ho!
And real quickly, as people are turning this show off
because they think you're going to whistle some more,
what are these awesome gifts that you brought, Graham?
I brought...
Was this you?
Nope.
Oh, that's the Gorilla Food Truck shirt.
Yes, the Gorilla Food Truck.
What shirt did you bring?
I brought a truck.
I brought my own truck.
There's a fire truck in there, and it's real.
I brought a T-shirt from the good people at Squarespace.com.
Oh, that's this one. That's this one.
Yeah, that's the Squarespace one. I'm wearing it myself. Yeah.
I tattooed it on my butt.
It's very nice of you to promote your thing on another podcast.
But fortunately, the good folks at Squarespace.
But fortunately, the good folks at Squarespace... Squarespace.
Also, you brought a...
What is this little book thingy?
Squarespace just sent me a bunch of little notepads.
So I'll be...
After the show, I'll be right over there selling stuff
and you can get a Squarespace notepad.
Oh, you got enough for everybody?
For enough people who want them, yeah.
For with purchase. If they buy something from you after people who want them, yeah. Or with purchase, if they buy
something from you after the show. Sure, yes.
Because you also brought a copy of your book
Comedy Film Nerds.
Comedy Film Nerd Guide to Movies.
Was it?
Yeah, so I'll be selling that after the show.
And you might as well get your plugs done right now.
Let's do it.
ComedyFilmNerds.com, of course, and the Los Angeles Podcast Festival.
There's a couple of ladies who were there last year.
We're coming this year.
It's October 4th through 6th.
Tickets still available.
Dining with Doug and Karen is going to be at the festival with Doug Loves Movies and about 30 other shows.
So go to LAPodFest.com.
Oh, yeah, and the Whistling Banes are going to be playing New Year's Eve at the Arkham Asylum Ballroom.
So get your tickets for that, guys.
It's going to be a great show.
Their first show on New Year's Eve, or is that the end of a tour?
Yeah, no, they're kicking off.
The Whistling Banes are kicking off their tour at Arkham Asylum. It's's they're kicking off the Whistling Banes they're kicking off
their tour
it's opening
and closing night
of the Whistling Banes
for 2013
it's opening
and not really
happening night
yeah
for the Whistling Banes
and Jeff
you brought
you brought the
Jack Reacher novel
yep
so thank you so much
for that
Jeff Tate everybody
hello
I like to read my movies Jeff Tate, everybody. Hello.
I like to read my movies.
Yeah, I mean, a Tom Cruise novelization.
It's not really a novelization.
The novel came first, but I'm sure Tom Cruise liked it because he probably has to run really fast a lot.
Like he has to run down the street quickly
probably a bunch of times.
Yeah, I mean, there's some running.
He's got some shit to take care of, man.
He's Jack Reacher.
He's not just going to fucking hang back.
That's true of Tom Cruise as well, I think.
Yeah.
That guy's a dynamo.
What are these CDs that you brought?
I brought those because I'm a fan
of this rock and roll outfit
it's called Magnolia Mountain
and then there's another one by a guy named Mark
Hudley it's the same guy
he's one's a band and one's like a solo
album and you like them enough
that you purchase copies
and give them away? Yeah yeah I'm a big
fan of that band they're from Cincinnati
I fucking love that band
a lot. And I want to... Somebody here
can get it and listen to it and dig it
and tell all your friends in St. Louis. Yeah, spread the word.
Those guys will be known from Cincinnati
to St. Louis.
Yeah. Really, you know,
getting it out there.
I have a higher
faith in your listenership.
From the Arch to Skyline Chili.
And also everybody that listens to the podcast is going to know that Magnolia Mountain.
Check that out.
That is a good point, Doug, don't you think?
That's why we should mention that you actually brought your own CD.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's called I Got Potential.
I Got Potential.
Jeff Tate, yeah. And you're wearing
a spirit hoodie.
You're wearing a spirit animal
on your head in the... Isn't that
what that is? I have no idea, man. I just put it
on a Target and...
I don't even... That's how you shoot your
album covers? You just go to Target and
try things on? That one?
I mean, I didn't really have a plan. I just saw the picture
and was like, nailed it.
Perfect.
Doug, I feel bad because
I didn't bring any presents. I didn't know.
That's Karen Anderson, ladies and gentlemen.
First
time guest on the show.
Obvi- hey.
Can I go
get something, please? Jeff, if you could please
pass this card to her for her to read to learn how to play the Leonard Maltin game.
Oh, thank you.
And also, can I go get something out of my backpack for a prize?
No, no, you're going to sit down and learn how to play.
I have something.
You do?
I can go get something.
Okay.
What do you mean you're going to go get something?
You're just going to grab something out of your bag?
I have a partially used MasterCard gift card that I could bring.
Anyone want $7.53
worth of...
Who knows how much is left on it?
Oh, that's the fun thing about when somebody else
gives you a gift card that's partially
used. It comes like
price is right at the cash register.
You gotta guess.
Maybe I need to put one of
these items back.
What if it's
there's like 50 grand on there and they just
suck in? Yeah!
I'm screwed. Alright, go ahead and go get it,
Karen. You have my permission.
Here, I'll read the rules on the card. No, you won't.
This guy wants it.
People have heard that enough. No, I want you to
just look at it later and
try not to ruin the whole evening.
What a great host.
Try not to fuck it up.
Graham, you weren't here during Dining with Doug and Karen,
and you've never heard Dining with Doug and Karen,
but that's pretty much our dynamic
is we call each other stupid and...
Well, I think it needs to change.
Do you just feel infringed upon?
No.
What does that mean, Dr. Tate?
No, I don't know what it means.
What are you going for there?
Are you psychoanalyzing us?
No, I feel like Graham's jealous
that you're calling someone else stupid.
So you had to go get another podcast.
I rarely call him stupid.
Or maybe the abuse needs to end.
Him being stupid isn't my problem with him.
It's me being great.
Jeff taught me...
Don't do it.
Jeff taught me a new movie game today, Graham.
And, oh, great, Karen's coming back just in time.
Can I get a glass of water, by the way?
Oh, yeah.
Get him some water.
I got an extra TJ Maxx card.
Oh.
Wow.
Come on.
Listen to the cheers that came out from that.
It's legit.
Why is there
more than one thing?
One is the
vanilla gift
card from MasterCard
and it says it was originally for 50 bucks.
How much do you think you spent?
I think it was Spencer's, my son's.
I'll give him the money.
You've got to sign your name, Spencer Martuka, okay?
Wait, you have to commit fraud to cash this in?
Take it back.
Nobody wants to do that.
It will totally work.
Wow.
This is so flim-flammy.
They can't check ID.
Karen also has the winning numbers of the Nigerian lottery.
Just need your bank info, and we can get that all squared away, guys.
What kind of lottery?
The Nigerian, you know, those spam emails you get, the guy from the Nigerian lottery.
I was like, wow, you're really pulling something out of your ass with Nigerian lottery.
He bought a Batman Lego set.
So I think it was about...
That was probably almost the full 50.
No, it was about $32.
So you think there's $18 left
for someone who wants to
commit fraud and remember
to sign Spencer Marchuca.
Yes. It's on the back.
Very common name. I talked into
the glass instead of the microphone.
Oh, they just have to match his signatures already
on the back. You just have to pretend. Well, you can't
really read that. You can't make it out at all.
You can probably make your own name up, actually.
They always check the signatures to the letter.
Yeah, and when she said make your own name up,
I think she meant just use your own name.
You're right.
You don't have to.
You could make up a name and sign it.
I mean, if you want.
That way you might not get in trouble when the shit goes down.
And TJ Maxx.
TJ Maxx and Marshalls.
Yeah, that just goes for, you know, you don't need a...
How much do you think this was worth initially?
Because it doesn't say.
You know...
Might have been a 50-bucker?
I don't know.
20-bucker?
I have to say that you might have to get your ATM out at the same time.
Because it might be $5. I don't know.
It might be $3.20.
Nothing costs a lot there.
At least the TJ Maxx one is transferable.
Absolutely.
Just have them call me if there's a problem.
Like when you're using your mom's
credit card and you've got to call.
Is it okay, Ms. Sanders?
Yes! how do they
know it's you they're a person you know i'm a legal guardian of spencer pachuca and whatever
well you're the worst legal guardian like you don't even have his last name down
but that's for you to reference you can you can look at that like at various points during the
show and i can't see You've seen the show before?
Once. Just the one time?
I listen to it other times, but I've seen
it live once. Okay, so you should be
you have more of a grasp of it
than most of my guests do.
I can't see them. I would hope.
Where's he wandering off to?
Graham's making a vine of us.
Just a photo. Oh, just a photo?
I always do a panel selfie
And then post it when the show drops
Aw shit
I took a picture of me in the arch today
Put it on Facebook
Not one fucking person commented on it
What do you blame that on?
You or the arch?
Is that
Which is more
Disinteresting
What a disappointment
What did you put for the caption? That could have helped You could have wrote something like Which is more disinteresting. What a disappointment.
What did you put for the caption?
That could have helped.
You could have wrote something like,
defiance is a lie.
I said I'm dining with Doug.
I said I'm dining with Doug and Karen.
I mean, it was a good picture.
It was like, you know,
it had the whole arch behind me.
I was all proud.
Not one goddamn comment.
Nothing.
I bet you'll get a few now. Out of the 200 friends I have on Facebook.
You should have laid down and angled it so it looked like it was your dick.
You probably would have gotten a lot of comments then.
I'll do it tomorrow.
So let's teach Graham your new movie game
that we'll call the Jeff Tate game for the time
being.
You talked to me earlier today in front of some of these people.
I was thinking about it. How come it was so difficult
to play with you? Because it's hard to go first.
Yeah, and I also realized that
I usually play this game with my brother
and it's a piece of cake
because we're brothers so I know
what he knows.
Right, so maybe it's difficult.
You know all the same movies?
Yeah, if my brother was here, man, it'd be fucking fun as shit to watch.
But we play a game where
I would say a movie and then he would say a movie
that had an actor from my movie
in it also and then I would say a movie and then he would say a movie that had an actor from my movie in it also.
And then I would try to guess what the
figure out real quick what the actor link was.
And then he would say another movie
that guy was in. I would say another movie.
Yeah, it's fun. I think Graham and I are going to
play it in the car in the rental car episodes.
But let's try another
one just you and me just to show them how it works.
But do you want me to go first this time?
Yeah. Okay, I'll go first this time? Yeah.
Okay, I'll go first this time.
Rocky.
The Expendables.
Was Burgess Meredith in that?
Yeah.
Did they wheel in the corpse of Burgess Meredith in that? Yeah. Did they wheel in the corpse of Burgess Meredith?
I didn't mean, hey, let's make it seem like the dumbest game ever.
With the easiest.
But you do realize that we just now effectively taught everyone how to play.
But you taught everybody to play a really dumb game.
I want to show them that it can be challenging in some way.
It can be, except that I also, I mean, now that you've gone first,
it does expose the fact that I've never seen Rocky.
And so I just.
Oh, so that's how it works.
You have to see movies to know what actors might be in them?
I don't know.
I'm trying to think of.
I could say, all right, what if I said Happy Gilmore?
Oh, we're playing again? Yeah. No, I'll just, all right, what if I said Happy Gilmore? Oh, we're playing again?
Yeah.
No, I'll just say, you say Rocky, I say Happy Gilmore.
Carl Weathers?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I say Predator.
Oh, it keeps going?
Yeah, you can keep going until you're out.
And then I just say another movie Carl Weathers was in, and then you say something like that.
Oh, that's, yeah, we've played that before.
That's just jumping back and forth.
I like the idea of hearing the two titles
and having to come up with the first and it's in both.
Well, your way is better because it's harder.
Yeah, I want it to be hard.
My way takes longer because it's easy.
Let's do one more.
Give me a tougher one.
Safe Men.
That is a tougher one because I'm in your boat on that one.
I never saw safe men.
But I think I know who was in that.
So I'll say...
The audience is trying to help me.
So since I think I know who's in that,
I'll say Iron Man 2.
Sam Rockwell.
Yeah.
We did it!
Yeah, we did it.
They're pretty good. What do you say, Yeah. We did it. Yeah, we did it. They're pretty good.
What do you say, Graham?
I like it.
I think it's a fun game.
It's fun.
The original version,
it sounded like just Jeff and his brother
would just say movies to each other.
And they'd go,
yeah, this is great.
And then that would be
the game.
Which is a good brother.
Let's play the name movies
both of us know game.
First person who hasn't heard one is out.
We would keep it going and then
out of nowhere try to jam each other
up. Did you say we'd keep it a-going?
We'd
keep it a-going.
Me and the Jemper takes a brother.
Do not get Graham Starr on his
amazing dialect work because
he loves to show that.
He shows that shit off.
I was speaking in Mandarin to you today. I live near the Great DeWall. I know the Kung Fu.
I've never seen a Rocky.
Was that last one me?
Is that what he's doing now?
I don't know what he's doing I don't understand the arms part
It's impenetrable
I think he was doing a Chinese accent
But the arms don't make any sense
That's how they talk in China.
They don't talk like that in China.
They don't have enough room to gesticulate.
That's a bigger country.
Going north into
the hills.
I want Graham and Karen to try
a round of that game now.
Either one of you can go first. First one
who can think of a movie. I think I'm in password for some reason.
Yeah, that card's not going to help you right now.
The password is
French.
Kissing.
You want me to go first?
Sure, go for it. Just name a movie.
How about
Let's Go With
Any fucking movie.
Well, I'm thinking of all these insanely obscure movies right now.
Well, don't try to.
That's what I'm saying.
So I don't want to do that.
So I'm going to just go.
Hey, now, that's not nice.
Don't cock block me.
Is that your German accent?
Yeah.
Sauerkraut.
Both of you sound like a voice that both of you does.
Hey, don't cock-block me.
Just play the game.
Oh, all right.
I'll do one.
Let's do one.
All right, let's go with Caddyshack.
All right, now, Karen, you have to name another movie
that you think has somebody from Caddyshack in it.
But I don't want to say...
And then he has to guess who that person is.
If I say Chevy Chase, that's no good.
There's no reason to say that.
No, if I say Fletch...
You have to name another...
So she just says Chevy Chase,
then she should just go,
Chevy Chase, and then winner!
I'm the winner!
You'd probably have a better time
stumping him if he said Fletch lives.
Nobody saw that.
You're right.
What's that?
He still would have put it together
that Chevy Chase was in Caddyshack
and a Fletch film.
Probably, Jeff. But for instance, think of somebody else who was in Caddyshack and a Fletch film? Probably, Jeff.
But, like, for instance,
think of somebody else who was in Caddyshack.
Can you think of anybody else who was in Caddyshack?
Well, yeah, but, like, anyone I can think of, he'd know.
And then don't say it out loud.
He'd know.
Well, maybe not.
Take a shot, but, you know.
Can you think of someone else who was in Caddyshack?
Just say no if you can.
I can.
Okay, now just any movie that person was in.
Back to School. Alright, here we go.
Rodney Dangerfield.
That's right. Yeah, that is right.
I mean...
This is a fun game!
We'll play in the car, Graham.
When we're driving to Wisconsin, we'll play it
His way makes sense
So then you say another movie
And it's going to get narrower
And that just goes on forever
No, it actually gets narrower
Yeah, that's what we try to do
But it is actually
That is a good car game
Sure, sure it is
Because the car games are for just killing time
Yeah
But they play it on like, you know
Jimmy Pardo's podcast
I'm not trying to take that game from another podcast
That's all I'm saying.
Check. Bag of corn,
friend. What's that?
Huh?
The way you described the game today earlier,
that's what I want to play. This other thing you keep talking about, I don't give a shit about that.
That's a game on another podcast.
Oh.
Oh.
I didn't know there were other podcasts.
I just thought there's...
According to Graham, there's like at least 30 of them.
There's 30 booked at the LA Podcast Festival.
I assume some are going twice.
Yes.
30 seems like a high number of podcasts.
I am in two of them.
So that knocks it down quite a bit.
I've heard of those two.
28 other podcasts.
Yeah, you've been on those two.
I've been on those two.
You're on one of them right now.
You're soaking in it.
Fucking wild, man.
You're right.
Oh, man.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit, bitch.
Oh, man. Oh, shit. Oh, shit, bitch. Oh, man.
I'm supposed to ask you guys some stuff.
I have a question for you, Doug.
Oh, please.
I've been wanting to ask you this for a long time.
Oh, we're out of time.
We have to keep moving.
What?
What is, what would be,... What's the most surprising...
What do you think would surprise these people the most
of a movie that you've not seen?
Does that make...
What the...
Oh, that kind of made sense.
I get it.
I'm getting used to how you phrase things.
So I'm starting to figure it out.
We're like brothers.
And, uh...
Like, what were you trying to say about Hall and Oates before the backstage?
Hall and Oates is a way better thing to have
happen before the game.
You can't even tell where you're going with that sentence.
You have so many words out and I'm still like
I don't know what's going on.
Well before Dining with Doug and Karen, like Steely Dan
played his sister's playing and I just
kept waiting for my parents' friends to show up.
And they did. Some of them.
So you were excited when Hall & Oates
came on because that's more your speed.
Well, it's just it has a speed.
Right? There's a fucking 4-4 beat.
People are like, alright, something's gonna happen here.
Earlier people were like,
I don't know.
Are we in the right place?
Am I waiting for a prescription to get filled
right now?
I just don't trust any band that's
I don't trust any band
that's named after a dildo.
That's my thing.
Like, I would never use a Hall & Oates dildo.
And I would never listen to them.
The more we know. Hall & Oates dildo, and I would never listen to them. The more we know.
Hall & Oates has their own dildo?
Wait, what did I miss?
I know.
You were busy doing something else down there.
All right.
But I do have one question for you guys,
and that's, have you been to the cinema lately?
We'll start with Graham,
because he's always up on the latest.
Yep.
He saw the Riddick movie, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Missed out on that one. Oh, you didn't go to that?
No, I did not. Although, we were
bagging on it hard on Comedy Film Nerds and a
fan sent in a thing, a whole interview with
Vin Diesel, how he put his own money in and
he had to make this Riddick thing happen
and he was like, oh, I was only
going to go bankrupt, which is complete
bullshit. Because the budget on that was like $30 was only gonna go bankrupt which is complete bullshit because the
budget on that was like 30 million i don't know what he's talking about but yeah and i put a few
million on kickstarter yeah we all we all chipped in i'm kind of regretting it i was i thought it
was going to be a return to the pitch black but it was just more i thought it was just more ridiculous
i thought it was going to be garden state too but they ended up making another Riddick movie with that money.
That's a fast turnaround on that.
It's out already.
What have you seen then, Graham? I just saw the movie The Grandmaster, which is a great, yeah,
the guy, people involved with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon did it.
It's about Ip Man, who is the guy who trained Bruce Lee.
It's a limited release, but you can probably get it on VOD.
It's awesome.
It's got all these cool slow-mo fight scenes in it, like Crouching Tiger.
It's really cool.
So it's a documentary?
Yeah, with slow-mo fight scenes.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on.
Before you guys settle this score, let me make a switch on the video.
Have you had a chance to see anything, Karen?
Well, I haven't been to the movies in a long time.
I took the kids to see Andy's first movie,
the four-year-old.
I think it's his second movie, actually.
Despicable Me 2.
I liked it.
I liked the first one a whole lot.
Was he able to follow it
because he hadn't seen the first one yet?
You know, he seemed to like it. Have you seen it on video, the first one yet. You know, it was, he seemed to like it.
He's seen it on video, the first one, or DVD?
Yes, he saw the first one on video.
So he was up to speed.
It was his first movie.
In a theater.
No, no, in a theater.
And it was his second.
There's this whole mystery about what the first one actually was.
Well, the first one was a mommy and me thing.
He was baby.
So it doesn't count.
What was the movie?
Oh, God, I? Oh God. Salt.
I don't know where it came from.
I don't know why it came out of my mouth.
Fucking salt.
She jumps from one truck to another.
Well that's what those mommy
and me's are for. You can be in a room
full of babies and nobody gets mad about the crying
but it's irritating yeah
I went to go see a regular kid movie
I didn't go see like you know some scary movie
so it's not scary
no no
so Despicable Me 2
except for then I did see like I was telling you on the plane
it's not new but I was watching
Batman Rises
or whatever it's not new, but I was watching Batman Rises. Or whatever it's called.
Batman Rises.
What's it called again?
What's it called?
Dark Knight Rises.
Thank you.
Why does it have two names?
I got fooled because of your Batman bracelet.
Yes.
Keep calm and call Batman.
Did you like it?
I did. It's good stuff. I loved it call Batman. Did you like it? I did.
It's good stuff. I loved it.
I haven't finished the end yet, though.
Here's how few movies I see. I was like,
wow, this is really good. So I don't know if it's good or not, but I loved it. Yeah, if you don't see anything,
it's probably the best. Yeah, I love movies all the time.
It's probably the best one of all the ones you haven't seen. It's great if you
see a million movies. It's fucking great.
Yeah, Graham's its biggest fan.
I really liked it a lot.
Jeff?
I liked it.
Alright, moving on.
Wait, what are we...
I saw...
Did you see Lone Ranger again?
No. It's not in the theater anymore.
Yeah.
I tried. I wanted to.
That thing took a fast shit.
Listen, you guys, I just now figured out what you meant.
Johnny Depp, it turns out he's not an Indian.
And that's what you guys are complaining about.
That's why I was mad at Edward Scissorhands, because he doesn't really have scissors for hands.
There are people out there who have scissorhands.
He's not really a grape.
Right?
I didn't realize.
I want to see the grape Gatsby.
That would be awesome.
I didn't understand what you guys were talking about until I was writing my heated letter to the network about the new show Ironsides.
Yes.
I was like, hold on.
There are people in wheelchairs who can act.
Why the fuck are you?
Oh, he's not really Indian.
I get it.
Now I'm kind of turning around on Lone Ranger.
But I saw The World's End was the last.
Yay!
I heard that's good.
And I saw the movie I was in, Strange Brand of Happy.
I saw it yesterday.
And did your line get in the movie?
I had three scenes
Turns out I talked to the director last week
Turns out I had never said girls man
Turns out I said it to you
The first time
You never said it in the movie?
No
Or on the set of the movie
Thinking you were saying it in the movie
No I think
That was your story to me
That's what I thought I said
It turns out that was mostly
That was like a two word encapsulation Of all of my scenes no i think that was your story to me that that's what i thought i said it turns out that was mostly
that was like a two-word encapsulation of all of my scenes because what do you actually say
ah too bad
things like that like i don't know man like i just say things like that like oh so you said man
right i mean i still talk like this but it a... You just might not have ever mentioned girls.
We were talking about girls, so I must have got confused.
We filmed it two years ago.
So I forgot I was in it.
Remember, I didn't know the name of it until this time.
What's the name of it?
Where did you see it?
A Strange Brand of Happy.
It's in the theater.
Which one?
Across the street from my house.
Really?
Yeah.
Like a big AMC.
Just so you could see it? No. It's in five theater. Which one? Across the street from my house. Really? Yeah. Like a big AMC. Just so you could see it?
No, it's in five theaters in Cincinnati.
It's in 45 other theaters.
Around the country?
Yeah.
It's playing in Van Nuys.
Oh, shit.
Road trip.
Is there anybody in it that we know?
Have you told us this already?
Shirley Jones is in it.
From the Partridge family?
And her husband.
Jack Cassidy?
He's dead.
No, not the one.
Not her fake TV husband or real life husband.
No, that was Jack Cassidy.
All right, he's dead.
No, yeah, he's long dead.
He's a newer guy.
Burned.
Burned to death, Karen.
So thanks.
Thanks for bringing that up.
Wow, way to go.
I didn't know.
Wow. This is like a... Marty something, right didn't know Marty something right yeah Marty Ingalls
he's in it
there was another old guy who was supposed to be that character
he was doing a bad job
you're in a movie with a bunch of old people
like are there any young characters
yeah yeah but there's not any
it's an independent movie
how are they selling the movie
I don't know me
I'm the only one promoting this motherfucker It's an independent movie. How are they selling the movie? I don't know. Me?
I'm the only one promoting this motherfucker.
Cincinnati's own.
And I'm in three scenes.
My name is towards the bottom of the credits.
Jeff Tate, right at the bottom.
I found out my character's name is Jason.
I didn't know that.
I thought I was a bartender. This is the greatest movie ever. I thought I was a bartender.
This is the greatest movie ever.
I took my parents to see it.
My mom took a picture of the screen of the movie theater.
And then at the end she was like,
I didn't think it turned out that great.
And I was like,
but she was talking about the picture that she took of the screen.
And it was,
and it was like of course.
My mom doesn't understand.
That she can just remember.
That that shit happened.
She didn't have to take a picture of it.
And show her stupid Facebook friends. On her phone.
A phone picture of the fucking movie screen.
That I was in a movie.
It's a real movie.
Just show them the movie.
How did you look in it?
How did I look in it?
Yeah.
Well you might not have time to watch the whole thing.
No I mean.
Whole Shirley Jones movie. You look you look in it? How'd I look in it? Yeah, well you might not have time to watch the whole thing. No, I mean, I was like,
whole Shirley Jones movie.
I was probably wearing this shirt.
It was only two years ago.
Did you have the baseball cap on and the beard?
I didn't have a baseball cap on.
I did notice that, like, the first time
I saw it, I was watching it and I was like,
I fucking lost that watch.
Like, honest to God, that's the first, that's the only thing I took away from the movie. They were like, what'd you think of the movie? I was it, I was watching it, and I was like, I fucking lost that watch. Like, honest to God, that's the first,
that's the only thing I took away from the movie.
They were like, what'd you think of the movie? I was like,
I remember that watch, and I don't know where the fuck
I left that watch.
It's a good watch. I had it for like 12 years.
It was silver, it had a yellow face.
I can't find that watch.
But apparently I had it as recently
as two years ago.
Now's the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin!
I'm scared.
Don't be scared, Karen.
This is the part where you go out into the audience
and you pick a name tag that you want to play for
and you bring it back to your seat
and while you do that, we'll do
this. Alright, we're back.
Let's see who you guys are
playing for. What do you have here, Jeff Tate?
Show me your name tag.
What is that?
It's Burt Reynolds,
Sarky's Machine. He just put Justin over it.
Not even Justin's Machine. Just Justin's Justin over it. Not even Justin's Machine.
Just Justin's Machine.
It's Justin's Machine.
Justin's, oh, I see, yeah.
You can see the S from Sharky's, though.
And you can see all of Burt.
I mean, it's not a great...
It's not the best name tag, probably.
I'd probably put it in the bottom 10% in this room.
From what I saw.
But, you know, it spoke to you.
That's the important thing.
It's got an album inside.
Who doesn't want to listen to the Sharky's Machine soundtrack?
Who doesn't?
I'm going to.
It's got some amazing tracks on there.
There's a lot of dun-dun-dun-dun.
It's got Street Life by Randy Crawford, Dope Bust, Flora Purim, and Buddy DeFranco.
Please don't read every song.
It's all, so we're good.
Oh my God, it has a song by Doc Severinsen.
High Energy by Doc Severinsen.
You know that that's just like a total fucking trumpet jam.
What do you got, Karen?
This is a picture, it's a picture painted of Andrew Juergen from the Trailblazers,
Lewis and Clark College.
He's right over there.
And his friend painted it.
He goes to Lewis and Clark Community College.
How do you find that school?
I graduated.
Oh, he graduated.
But that's his picture, and that's him.
I think it kind of looks like James Franco just a little bit.
I don't know.
It's a guy.
It's a painting of a guy.
But he's got royal garb on.
It's pretty very well done, if you ask me.
All right.
That's an interesting name tag.
And then this one.
I got to get a good shot of this.
Oh, my God.
This is really crazy.
Basically made out of clay.
His dream Doug Loves Movies panel.
And it's got... It's got me there of course i'm glad to
be part of the dream panel then uh kumail and then mark maron oh that's mark maron that mustache is
crazy then there's me there's graham you're all like hey i literally i look like jamie farr from
ash you look very anxious to participate or put on a dress.
And then there's...
That's Lil' Wolverine?
Yeah, he gave him one eyebrow, which is great.
He looks kind of fat for Lil' Wolverine.
There's Pete Holmes.
Yeah, that's a good Pete Holmes.
There's Jeff and TJ.
See, Jeff Garland and Lil' Wolverine shouldn't have the same size face.
And then, is that TJ?
Yeah, that's TJ.
That's a good one.
And then Paul Tompkins and Garfunkel Notes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
That's very cool.
What's his name again?
Nate.
Nate.
All right.
And then he wrote on the back, he goes,
Dear guests, thanks for picking my name tag.
Below I wrote a shithead.
Please don't read it.
This would ruin the joke.
Save it for Doug. Thanks, and good
luck.
So we're not to read the back of this. Don't read
it. There's a lot
of seats in that tab. You must have not been able to
find a picture of me.
Yeah, you got cut out of the Girls Man
movie, so he couldn't use the...
I'm still in the movie. Oh, really?
Yeah.
It has a name, Graham.
What's it called?
It's called...
It's called Batman Rising.
Subject.
A Batman Rising.
All right, I'm finishing up my vine.
DLM, STL.
Done.
I don't want this to fall.
Do we hold these or what do we do?
You can hold them.
I'm afraid.
I usually hold my name tag, but this one I'm setting down because I don't want it to break.
Yeah, that's a really, that's a cute name tag.
That's amazing.
I'd like to make love to that name tag.
We're all going to after the show.
That'd be the weirdest circle jerk.
You find your own avatar.
Ooh, I gotta go to sleep early.
I just remembered.
You got other plans?
You're not gonna join us for our weird man party after the...
We wanna fuck our own faces?
What's your problem?
Is Marc Maron trying to strangle Kamau?
Yes.
Of course he is.
That's some intricate detail.
Yeah.
That's pretty much what would happen
if you get all the group together.
I'm in a red shirt,
which I don't think I've ever worn in my life, but...
I guess he couldn't find a shirt
with any comic book characters on it.
What picture did you get?
What picture did you pull that from?
To be standing in front of the Batmobile?
He's going to prove to you that you wore a red shirt.
Oh, there it is! Oh my God!
Yeah, there I am in a red shirt that I never wear!
I wore that? I actually did.
I did a Christmas party for some company
in Reno in like 2005.
Yeah, that's how you get them in red.
It's got to be a Christmas party.
And they say, we want a new modern Santa.
We just want a sleek Santa that looks like he skateboards.
He could wear a red shirt and long sleeves underneath.
Maybe a bunch of hippie bracelets.
That would be fantastic.
A bus pass peeking out his shirt pocket
all right you guys we got we got several games to play
let's get on it yeah let's keep it moving first up how much did this shit make
um when we were in philly uh last sunday we ran out of time for this, and I really wanted to play it
because I chose something special to Philly.
And now that we're in St. Louis,
there's really no point.
But I can't think of any shitty movies
that were made in St. Louis.
Meet me in St. Louis?
There has to be one.
Is it a shitty movie?
Oh, no, no.
You're right.
I see.
I get it.
Escape from New York is not a shitty movie, sir.
Or weird lady.
Escape from New York.
Why is there still a sign being held up?
Shitty St. Louis movie.
Oh, what's it called?
Up in the Air.
Up in the Air was a great movie, dude.
It was a Doug Diggs it.
You didn't like that goddamn movie?
Oh, here we go.
If I were to pick your name tag, I would smash it right now and go get another one.
Oh, you know what, though?
How cool would it look if you smashed the one you did pick?
No, I'm not.
Like if a big Graham Elwood monster stepped on all of us.
We're just trying to do a podcast, and you just crush us.
What are they made out of? Are they crushable?
They're pretty sturdy.
No, I mean, it's clay.
It's clay.
Okay.
You wouldn't want me to crush it, though, would you, Nate?
Of course he wouldn't want that.
He put a lot of work into it.
He put a lot of work into it. So don't crush it, Graham.
Where'd you get
such a crazy idea?
I guess from that Aaron guy
that hates good movies.
But seriously,
how great of a vine
would that be?
Like, you see them
all sitting there
and then just a giant foot
comes in and crushes them.
It'd be super great
if it was actually
all those people
and a Monty Python foot
dropped down on the roof.
Like, let's not smash this guy's real thing he made.
I'm finding out what a sensitive soul you are today.
I have a
Burt Reynolds self-struck.
Arguably the worst Rocky
movie was
Rocky Part 2.
Arguably, because some will argue.
That's the one with all the magazine covers?
Graham probably dislikes one more.
Five is your least favorite?
Oh, I think four.
Four?
Hey, hey, hey!
Is this your first time?
You don't know Graham loves cool shit?
Or hates fucking rad movies?
That's what I meant to say.
Great joke.
Way to slam a guy.
Yeah, what are you wearing?
A shirt that makes you look cool?
I mean, a dumb one that's stupid because your body's...
Hey, Graham, what are you doing?
Talking words out of your mouth?
Are you one of those mouth talkers?
Saying funny things?
I mean, things that are dumb and not good?
Burn.
Rocky IV, he beat a Russian.
Rocky IV.
I think my buddy made the song to that, No Easy Way Out.
I would go Rocky V, I guess.
That's the one where he's, that's pretty bad.
That's the one with, like, street fighting in it,
and he's got a young protege.
That's Tommy Gunn Morrison.
Yeah, that movie's pretty awful.
Isn't it his kid? His son's
getting picked on. It's something like that.
Oh, it's supposed to be his son? I don't have any idea,
man. I've never seen Rocky V.
Did anybody see...
We saw Rocky. Did you fight
afterwards? I got punched.
What does that mean?
Well, because you see it, so you want to play box, right?
When I was a kid.
Yeah, remind everybody that you saw Rocky when you were seven.
I was young.
But these are a bunch of people who are like, what?
Even though they all had plastic lightsabers.
Yeah, right.
It's the same thing, guys.
Well, I got knocked out, is my point.
Well, that's what happened to Rocky, so you did a really good job. That's my point. Someone punched you hard enough.
My brother punched me and knocked me out after Rocky. Because you liked Rocky
so much. Because we played Rocky.
He couldn't have punched a slab of meat. He had
to hit his sister. We were playing boxing.
You played Rocky. He played Apollo Creed.
I just figured other people might...
I figured other people might have got
knocked out after seeing a Rocky movie.
But look at...
I think you're alone on that.
I'm just going to show you how unique you can be.
I think you're all by yourself on that.
We're all unique, Karen.
Yes.
Hey, let's update a little bit.
How many of you guys fucking broke your necks after seeing Warrior?
Okay, how much did Rocky 2 make?
Is that what the question is?
According to Box Office Mojo,
without going over,
it's total domestic box office.
I'll say this was back then.
And we're going to, what? Back then.
I'm going to let you go last, Karen.
Because that's the power position in this game.
We're going to start with Graham.
How much do you think it made, Graham?
I think it made
$80 million.
Okay. Jeff?
$110 million.
I'm going to go...
People are encouraging Karen to go for this
sneaky $1 move.
I'm going for $38 million.
What did you say again, Graham?
$80.
$80.
$80.
And Jeff said it's irrelevant.
And then Karen.
Right, exactly right.
Karen said $38.
And the closest, without going over, Rocky II, which encouraged them to make Rocky III, which could be one of the better ones, made $85.1 million.
Wow!
So Graham is already dominating this competition.
He's out of his chair.
He's accepting accolades.
He's really thinking about
stepping on that name tag.
Good point.
The great thing is you're edging me to do it. The minute I do it, you'll be like,
what a dick Graham Millwood is,
everybody. He hates the fans.
I don't know. I think
it would be neat to see, but he seems to want
it back. I think it's worth it.
He says it's worth it. We talked
him into it.
Find it and tag me. find me and tag me in it.
No, no, no, just... He's negotiating.
Why don't you just wait and he'll
find him pulling it out of his suitcase broken
when he gets back to Los Angeles.
That's rude.
Who's going back to Los Angeles?
Oh, Graham's never going back to LA?
I'm moving here, guys.
Did you hear he quit show business?
No, he's going to give back that name tag.
That guy wants it back.
Oh, you want it back?
Yeah.
Not if I smash it.
He'd put a lot of work into it.
Maybe that'd be a fun project.
You could put it back together for next time.
Take Graham out and put Jon Hamm in there.
Yeah.
Oh, well, fuck off. How's that sound that sound St. Louis looks like I'm not living here
now that you know what I look like
I expect there to be a fucking
place card where I sit
oh you know what that scene could use
like a server standing next to the table
or just someone over in the corner going
girls man
I imagine they're all looking at me or just someone over in the corner going, girls, man.
I imagine they're all looking at me because I'm doing stand-up.
And they're like,
this guy's...
And we're all looking at you like,
we're trying to do Douglas movies.
Right, right.
Why are you just doing your stand-up?
Oh, we're just waiting in the back
while you do your show?
Yep.
All right.
Let's play something I like to call the new game,
a.k.a. the Seth Rogen game, a.k.a. IMDB,
a.k.a. Last Man Stanton.
Fun new game.
Graham's played it.
Should I do that?
I was just doing sound effects.
Karen's older, tired cat voice.
I go to sleep. Wow, the voiceover business is going to come calling for you.
Watch me just all of a sudden get a shitload of work.
Karen, can you read this character we've got called Sleepy Cat?
I don't know.
I'm tired.
Oh, you turn it down as the character?
I don't think I can do it
I'm a sleepy cat
voiceover sessions are long
it kind of sounds like droopy talk
a little bit yeah
here's how this game works
Karen
and Jeff I guess needs to know also
we're going to get the name of an actor
actress or director
who has a lot of movies to their credit,
and then we will take turns naming.
This is kind of like your game,
naming a movie that that person has been in
until we can't think of any more.
It's a fun game.
And if you can't think of one within a reasonable time,
a few seconds, then you're out.
I'm going to play as well, because I love to play this game.
It's fun.
Let's get the guy who made
Graham's name tag. What's his name again?
Nate. Nate.
Let's have Nate pick an actor, actress, or
director. Somebody with a lot of credits.
Ed Norton. Ed Norton.
Ed Norton.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ed Norton.
I like this.
This is good. So since Graham won the last game, we'll let him go first, and then we'll go to Karen, then Jeff, Ed Norton. I like this. This is good.
So since Graham won the last game, we'll let him go first.
And then we'll go to Karen, then Jeff, and then me.
I will go with American History.
That's the only one I know.
That's the only one you know?
Fuck.
That is so unfortunate that he went right for that.
God damn it.
Just any Ed Norton movie.
It seems so easy.
It does, because there's so many of them to choose from.
Just pick one.
JFK.
What?
JFK.
He played John Kennedy Jr. Am I going to have to look this up to see if he was in that?
He's not in JFK.
He was a little saluted baby.
If you're going to guess a movie, though, that was a good one to guess,
because it has about 50 famous people in it.
Yeah, it was pretty smart.
But nice try, Karen.
All right, go ahead.
All right.
You're out.
You don't have to leave or anything.
I knew it.
Primal Fear.
Primal Fear.
There you go.
Oh, that's a you go. Academy Award
nominated
performance for him for that.
Primal Fear. I was trying to talk and write down
Primal Fear at the same time.
Changed it to Primary Fear, but we know what it means.
I'm going to
go with The Italian Job.
Which, if you're gonna get a job,
that's one of the better ones to get.
Hello, I'm working in Italy.
Italian job is where they, you know,
they sort of jerk you off like your dick's a pizza.
That's a spicy meatball.
Oh, wow, you're jerking off Karen?
God damn. And, wow, you're jerking off Karen? God damn.
And stalling also.
Name a movie that stars Ed North.
Rounders.
Or you could have a small part in it.
Rounders.
Oh, that's a good one.
Pierogi.
That's more like an Italian handjob.
It's like a pierogi.
Fight Club. Fight Club.
Fight Club.
I'm going to go Death to Smoochie.
And I think that's it.
That's all of his movies.
We did it, you guys.
Pretty well done.
Graham?
Shit, no.
I'm fucking blanking out
I can picture
It's hard
It's hard
There's a bunch of movies
I can picture him in
But I
Sure just look at him
There he is
Ed Norton in a movie
I see him
That movie he did
Oh yes
That one
With Robert De Niro
We're gonna need
The title of that film
Don't help him you guys
I know you're dying To help him Robert De Niro They We're going to need the title of that film. Don't help him, you guys. I know you're dying to help him.
Robert De Niro.
They take place in Montreal.
They're criminals.
Three seconds.
Shit.
Two seconds.
Marlon Brando's in it.
God damn it.
Time's up.
Jeff, what do you got?
The score.
That's it. got? The score. I gave you that
goddamn movie
on a goddamn silver
platter while wearing
a red shirt.
That's part of Edward Norton's
I'm pretending to be someone else when
everyone's looking at me, but I'm really this guy
when no one's looking at me. Yeah, that's his whole
wheelhouse. Primal fear, the score.
He's not really mentally handy.
I thought it was called The Heist, though.
No, Heist is a David Mamet movie.
Just Heist is David Mamet, but isn't there
something called The Heist? No. Okay.
Jeff is definitely the authority on
films. No.
I have a book coming out called Comedy Film Geeks.
Right?
It's just like me and my friend.
We're just like, check.
You couldn't even change film to movie and comedy to humor.
You know, try a little harder to disguise it.
Comedians.
Joke.
People versus Larry Flynn.
I'm out.
Yeah, you're out.
Jeff.
It's up to you, Captain.
What do you got, Jeff?
Ed Norton.
Fucking 15 minutes.
Was that the name of the movie?
Or just Roy's about.
It was a movie.
Rainy Sunday.
It was a movie, but it was De Niro and a couple of guys.
It was Edward Burns.
It was Edward Burns.
Shit.
I meant Saving Private Ryan.
Probably.
Not in that.
You don't know.
You don't know.
I actually do know.
He's not in that.
That was early in his career
and they had a lot of extras.
All right.
Moonrise Kingdom, I win.
Oh, Moonrise Kingdom.
I've seen all those movies.
Couldn't get one.
The Honeymooners.
Ed Norton was in The Honeymooners.
Yes, that was one of the movies of the characters.
I could have gone a lot more rounds on that one.
That was a good choice.
Will you name one more?
The Painted Veil.
No.
Something else?
It was about cholera.
How many? Hulk, of course. Wow. It was about cholera. How many?
Hulk, of course.
Incredible Hulk.
Incredible Hulk, the illusionist.
Keeping the Faith with Ben Stiller.
I'm furious at myself now.
That's right.
The third Bourne movie?
Dude's made some movies.
No, the fourth Bourne movie.
There's no getting around it.
But the thing is, he doesn't...
Why it's tricky, he doesn't have a lot of movies where he's the lead star. There's no getting around it. But the thing is, he doesn't, why it's tricky, he doesn't have a lot of movies
where he's the lead star.
It's his vehicle.
Yeah.
He doesn't go on talk shows
and stuff.
Leaves of grass.
Leaves of grass.
Yeah.
But yeah,
it was a good round.
Thank you for suggesting that, Nate.
When you said the painted veil,
two people in the front high-fived.
That's so awesome.
I told you that.
Hello.
Film nerd.
Like it was their first date or something.
Painted veil.
Painted veil.
He proposed to me during that movie.
And now Doug Benson mentioned it in our favorite podcast.
And now Doug Benson mentioned it in our favorite podcast.
Let's play the Leonard Mullen game.
Aw, shit.
Do we have enough time to play love and hate and like hate?
No, we don't.
God damn it.
Can we just do that later?
Yeah, if we have some extra time.
If we have extra time, we'll do... Not mean in the parking lot. I hear that game on the show
and I'm like, ah, fucking...
I want to do all the ones you've done already
again.
I know fucking Bill Murray movies.
Bill Murray was this game, the new game.
But the love-like, hate-like
was...
We did Matt Damon, Sandra Bullock
We did Vin Diesel
Yeah, Vinny D, that was good
Forces of Nature is a movie I hate to love
It looks fucking great
Have you seen it? It looks great
The rain and shit
God damn it
Steve Zahn's in it
Sandy B and Ben Affleck
It's probably Under exhibit A of why people are mad that he's playing Batman.
I'm not mad.
I'm not either.
I don't get it.
He's got the chin.
And that's all you see is the chin.
He's a good actor when he's in good things, and it's probably going to be good, you know?
I hope we find out he's directing it.
Yeah. Also, because he's directed three three movies and they're all fucking great yeah i think zach snyder's directing it but what were you gonna say i was gonna say he looks more and i love christian
bale but he looks more like bruce wayne from the comic than christian bale did like he that's how
bruce wayne and batman are drawn it's six four six five dark hair i guess it doesn't just come
down to the looks though i guess people just think of him and as like a. It's the 6'4", 6'5", dark hair, square chin. I guess it doesn't just come down to the looks, though.
I guess people just think of him as like a, you know,
like the guy that was with J-Lo and made Gigli and, you know, all those.
They got to let that shit go, man.
The town and Argo, he's fucking awesome.
I honestly thought Graham would stab me in the neck when I said,
I don't care that Ben Affleck is Batman.
He hates everything I like.
And then to find out he's on board with this,
I think we're finally reaching
some common ground. Name something else
that you like. Con Air.
Con Air? Ooh!
That's a great movie. That's a great fucking
movie. Oh, not to me.
I was scared in that movie. Do you not like it?
Wait, back up. Very scary.
You didn't like it because it was scary? Yes.
She's a friend of mine. Do you know what movie we're talking about?
Yes, the part where Nicolas Cage goes and is going to rape some kid.
Yeah, I do remember it.
No, no, no.
Steve Buscemi is the rapist.
No, no, no, no.
Nicolas Cage is the hero.
He's the hero.
He doesn't rape kids.
He saves bunnies.
He saves bunnies.
He shouldn't have even gone to jail.
Before raping them.
The least believable part in that movie is how terrible his fucking lawyer is.
He's an army ranger and he's like, plead guilty.
You only do four.
Just fucking the two people who worked there and you were in the army doesn't even go to trial.
Yeah.
No one raped a kid in that movie.
They raped kids before the movie started or whatever.
Before they got on the plane, they did some shit.
They're horrible people.
Yeah, the idea is they're all horrible criminals that he's stuck on this plane with
and that therein lies some of the tension.
It worked. It scared you.
They're the bad guys.
Oh, gosh.
But that is the scene where Steve Buscemi's
in the playground
with the little girl
is pretty creepy.
How does that guy
who just goes,
no, no, no, no,
and defends Con Air
to the letter
say,
I liked Lone Ranger?
That's my dilemma.
We have to go back
to Lone Ranger again.
I'm not bringing up
Lone Ranger to restart that up, but...
But you are bringing it up again.
I am, I am bringing it up.
But you like Con Air, which is good.
Yeah, it's fun.
Then how...
How does...
All right.
Lone Ranger, also fun.
He rides a horse onto a train.
I feel like...
But Karen was scared When he was like
Gonna molest that squirrel
I didn't like that part
Every time
Just desert squirrel
Every time anybody
Mentions Lone Ranger
They leave out the part
Where he rides a horse
Onto a train
That's fucking awesome
It's like Tom Cruise
In Mission Impossible
But with a horse
Yes
And not just like Touching cuffs It's crazy And Cruise in Mission Impossible, but with a horse. Yes. And not just like touching cuffs.
It's crazy.
And a John Voight face that comes off.
I cannot stand the pulling off of the faces in the Mission Impossible movies.
Do you think that was a real mask?
If you could put on a face that's that realistic, why would you ever look like yourself?
If you're supposed to be a spy, you would never walk around as yourself.
And you would never reveal that.
And you would never pull it off in front of people.
Oh, wait, we're still doing a show?
Have you ever
once seen the look on someone's face
when you've pulled your face off?
Holy shit. It's worth it.
It is worth it.
They are as surprised as
they've ever been.
Ladies and gentlemen, Pete Holmes.
Wow, Pete's really been, you know.
That's actually less surprising.
I was going to say he's been really controlling himself tonight.
We're all Pete Holmes.
He's very subdued, Pete Holmes, when he's wearing the Graham mask. It's because he doesn't know how Pete Holmes doesn's very subdued Pete Holmes When he's wearing the Graham mask
Who won that?
It's because he doesn't know how Pete Holmes doesn't know how to whistle
You won that
Yeah, but you came in closest
You came in second
So you get to start off the Leonard Mullen game
Because I can't play that one
Because I'm looking right at the answer
The whole time
Karen, you're going to be great Just explain it to me as we go, okay? Okay at the answer. I wish I was. The whole time.
Karen, you're going to be great.
Just explain it to me as we go, okay?
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know any Edward Norton movies.
I've seen all of them.
Well, it's too bad.
Edward Norton has a birthday today.
2004.
Like, what if it was an Edward Norton movie?
Right now. And then she's like
all 11
and name it
Ed Norton
I'll catch on
I'm good
I you know
I love games
so
you're gonna be
so great at this
but we're gonna
start with Jeff
and go to Graham
right
so then you
you don't have to
play till third
so you'll figure it
out by then
like most of the
better guests she might win that half didn't like Willy Wonka win when we were in Madison or something like that I don't have to play until third, so you'll figure it out by then, like most of the better guests do.
She might win that half.
Didn't, like, Willy Wonka win when we were in Madison or something like that?
I don't think he did.
No, I won.
Yeah, yeah.
He didn't win.
Graham?
Technicality.
Nope, straight up.
Head-to-head competition.
Willy Wonka, big winner in Madison.
Here are your category options, Jeff.
Would you like at topiary skeleton suggested
million dollar baby arm
and that's movies with male frontal nudity.
Thanks, topiary skeleton.
At
Cuntatron.
Oh! Cuntatron.
I can't think of any other way to
pronounce it. I kept looking at it like, maybe it's supposed to be
Cuntatron.
Oh, that's you? Cuntatron.
Why would you call yourself that?
I'm a robotic cunt.
Here to attack Tokyo.
Cuntatron was the only name left?
Cuntatron was the only name left on Twitter.
They're all taken.
You couldn't go with Cockatron 2?
Yeah.
That means someone now has Cuntatron 2.
Cunt underscore uh, underscore tron, underscore two. cuntatron, too.
Cunt underscore uh, underscore tron, underscore two.
I don't think so.
I don't think anybody has it.
But since she lives here, she suggested Arch Enemies,
and that's movies where landmarks get destroyed.
Oh, that's great.
That's a great one.
Where landmarks get destroyed.
Way to go, cuntatron. Cuntatron is a thinker. Famous landmarks get destroyed. Way to go, Contatron.
Contatron is a thinker.
Yeah, she is.
And celebrating a birthday today, Tyler Perry.
Darn it. So the films of Tyler Perry.
Please, no.
Which one?
Karen's trying to influence Jeff's decision.
Which one would you like to play?
Male frontal nudity,
Tyler Perry,
or Landmarks being destroyed?
I'm going to go Landmarks.
Yeah!
Oh, boy.
Would you like a movie where... You don't have to talk during these parts, Karen.
People know you're still here
and that you're not going to be good at it.
I didn't talk!
I didn't talk!
You said, oh boy.
Oh, sorry.
We just don't need to hear a lot of you fretting.
It's not even your turn yet.
These guys might shut it down.
You might not even have to play.
I get it.
Alright, let's go.
Would you like a movie
where something gets destroyed
from
2006 or
1998?
1998 or
2006?
Jeff?
Did you think I was asking someone else?
No, no, I was thinking.
Oh.
I was trying to, with my mind, make you change 1998 to something else.
I go 2006.
Okay.
In 2006, a landmark was destroyed, maybe more than one, in this movie that Leonard gives two stars.
this movie that Leonard gives two stars.
He says about this movie that there's little emotion in this movie.
And he also says that
this movie shortchanges character development
in favor of special effects.
2006, two stars.
And Leonard lists a whopping of special effects. 2006, two stars, and Leonard
lists a whopping
19 names.
How many
names?
Ooh!
That's a lot of names.
Wow!
Never seen so many names!
How many do you need, Jeff?
You can go for the Pete Holmes 19.
I'm not going to go 19 because everything you said played into what I thought it was.
I'm going to go negative one.
Oh, boy.
So it goes to me now?
Yeah, Graham's next.
Well, I gotta...
You gotta name that movie, Jeff Tate.
All right, so the name of the movie
and then the top-billed performer in that movie.
2006.
Yeah, if you say so.
Yeah.
Is it The Day After Tomorrow and Jake Gyllenhaal
no
and no
I loved how I stared at it
for a while like I really had to double check
what did you think it was Graham
I honestly thought it was
I was thinking it was that and I was trying to
I believe the Golden Gate
Bridge amongst other things
gets destroyed.
Yeah, I think they show that Statue of Liberty gets taken out of that.
2006, yeah.
And your top-billed person would be Hugh Jackman.
And the motion picture is called X-Men, The Last Stand.
Graham Elwood is on the board.
Graham has the point!
Let's do it, buddy!
Karen looks like she has a question.
No, no.
Thank you, Cuntatron.
Thank you for your selection of category.
You have an amazing gut.
Cuntatron.
Come on.
Every other name was taken on Twitter.
That's such a shame.
Wow, so Twitter's just maxed out. No one can join
anymore? She's like, somebody already took
Karen Anderson high.
Hi, I did.
Are you ready to go first, Karen?
Sure. Alright, you're going to get to pick a category.
Alright. And then
from you, we'll go to Graham because he challenged Jeff on that last one.
Would you like, at Jesse Karp, suggested Lawn of the Dead,
and that's movies that have scenes that take place in a cemetery.
Okay.
Or, at Reaper Matt at, A-T-T Matt at,
suggested Lou
Diamond Phillips.
And that's movies that have a toilet, a
diamond, or Wilson Phillips.
That's awesome!
Out of those two?
You get a third one.
At Fooled Ya Twice suggested, glad he ate her. Out of those two? You get a third one. At fooled you twice suggested
glad he ate her.
And then he even wrote in the tweet,
you know, like glad he ate her.
And that's movies that have cannibals in them.
Movies with cannibal behavior.
Well, I got to go for number two, I guess.
Just because the audience liked it? Well, I feel like I might have number two, I guess. Just because the audience liked it?
Well, I feel like I might have seen
some of those movies. There was three subjects, though.
This movie might have
more than one of these things, but it definitely
has a bathroom, a diamond, or
an appearance by Wilson Phillips.
Two stars
from Leonard for this movie.
It's quite recent, 2011.
And he says about this movie that it was the last film of an actress who was in it.
And he also says that a frequent guest of Doug Lowe's movies,
he doesn't phrase it that way, I am, appears in this movie unbilled.
And he lists 13 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
And of course, the smart play here,
if you don't have an idea what movie it is,
is to go ahead and bid all 13 names.
What are you going to do, Karen?
I'm going to bid all 13 names. What are you going to do, Karen? I'm going to bid all 13 names.
Yeah!
Nicely done.
Now to you.
Now what kind of nonsense has Graham got cooking over there?
13 names.
I will go with seven. Seven names. That's a big leap. seven
seven names that's a big leap
I thought you might
have a little fun with it and let
Karen have all the names and let her squirm
but
this way I can play along
yeah let's keep the game going
he made his choice I just thought it'd be
you know funny
six
now Karen yeah don't look at Graham now my head. He made his choice. I just thought it'd be funny. Six.
Now, Karen, yeah, don't look at Graham now.
Now you're wishing. I say he's got to name
it because I can't go below that.
Is that how you do it? Sure.
Way to fucking figure it out in your first round.
A lot of people are like, no, I'm
not being an asshole. So many guests
come on the show and never figure that out
and you fucking bam. We've discussed
earlier how Karen's seen the show before.
She's listened to it.
Oh.
I handed her a card with all
the rules on it.
No, but she's doing great.
She's doing great. So he's got to name it in six?
Is that what's going on? That's what's going on.
He looks very
pensive.
I'm just so happy Graham can't get a point this time.
I don't.
All right.
I'll give you your six names.
Maybe you'll pull this out.
That's a fucking crazy laugh.
Ben Falcone.
Franklin Ajay.
Terry Crews.
Rebel Wilson.
Jill Kleberg.
And Matt Lucas.
Are your six names.
2011.
He's got a bathroom, a diamond, or Lou Diamond Wilson Phillips.
Two stars from Leonard.
2011 is the year.
Is it Scream 4?
I know it.
Which one of those things do you think is in Scream 4?
Rebel Wilson.
No, I meant a toilet Or a diamond
Or Wilson Phillips
Toilet
Karen has something to add
Can I name it?
Yeah
Oh yeah sure
He failed
Is it Bridesmaids?
Yeah it's Bridesmaids
But you understand
That you got the point
Just because he couldn't name it
Yeah yeah But that was fun That you figured it just because he couldn't name it.
Yeah, yeah.
But that was fun that you figured it out. Well, I actually figured it out from the beginning, but I couldn't think it was that easy.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I'm sorry, but...
I did the same thing.
I mean, it's got a shitter in it.
It's got...
I totally...
So the two people who honed in on it and knew what it was...
Yep.
Played like they had no idea.
And then also lost. Yep. While Graham, who did not know what it was, played like they had no idea, and then also
lost. While Graham, who did
not know what it was... I figured
it was Bridemaid. Oh, okay. So everybody
knew what it was. Interesting.
Well, I'm glad to know that, you know,
it's something I might know.
That's so cute!
Yeah, it is something you might know.
All right.
Yeah, that's how it works.
You just never know what's going to come along that you might know.
Yeah, I don't want to slow it down.
Let's go.
You're really Tony-commuting me on this.
Remember when he was on Dining with Doug and Karen, he'd constantly tell me, all right, let's move along.
Let's go.
I don't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course you don't remember.
We get so drunk at those.
You're on the board.
You have a point, Karen.
Yes.
So Jeff's trailing with no points.
Yeah, but lots of moxie.
All right, Moxie. Alright, Moxie.
That means we
start with Graham.
Get to pick a category.
And then we'll go to
Karen.
And you get to choose between
at
Manti Taibo.
That must have been right before
that must have been the second to last name
right after Contra Tron ran out, right?
I think it's a play on Manti Taibo.
Yeah, it is.
Changes to Taibo.
I don't know what Contra Tron is.
I don't know some stuff.
He suggested or she, I didn't know what Concentron is a playoff. He suggested, or she, I didn't check.
Neither did he.
We are farmers.
And that's movies that have farms in them.
At Amanda Graves suggested 16 candles,
and that's movies that were released 16 years ago.
Yeah.
And then at Connoria, it's like the name Connor, but diarrhea.
Underscore Connoria underscore suggested Cars 2 Judgment Day.
And that's animated films where a character dies. Conneria underscore suggested Cars 2 Judgment Day.
And that's animated films where a character dies.
Yeah.
Which one of those
would you like to play, Graham?
I will go with
I'll go with 16 years ago.
16 years ago.
Yes.
The year is 1997. Two stars from Leonard. I'll go with 16 years ago. 16 years ago. Yes. So that's what, 97?
The year is 1997.
Two stars from Leonard.
He calls this a contrived movie
about a woman.
I don't know why he's so angry at women.
And he says,
too bad they didn't lose the anticlimactic final action sequence.
From this movie from 16 years ago.
Two stars, once again.
And Leonard lists a meager six names.
Boy, that's not a lot that he says about it.
He just says he doesn't like it.
Yeah, it's kind of a game where you have to hear some of these names and then figure it out.
Putting it all together, you've really got
half the puzzle at this point.
And it's a shit puzzle.
Yeah, I gotta go with...
You don't gotta go with anything. We're starting with Graham.
I gotta give it to Graham. I mean, this is...
Thank you, Karen.
Very kind of you.
Wow.
So what's the order?
It goes me and then who else is next?
It's going to go from you to Karen because she challenged Jeff last time.
You and Karen both have a point.
Six names, Graham.
I will go six names.
Okay.
I will go five.
Jeff, buddy,
I smell an opportunity.
Jesus, I know what the choices are.
Everybody, they love to tell you
like they think that you're thinking
the same thing they're thinking.
Therefore, what they're yelling at you
is the way to go.
I'm totally thinking what most of these people are thinking.
They yelled out three different options.
No, only a couple people did. The rest of them were thinking what I'm thinking. They yelled out three different options. No, only a couple people did.
The rest of them were thinking what I'm thinking.
What's that?
Name it.
Yeah, I think you're going to get on the board.
But they have faith in you, Karen.
I thought that you got it, kid,
was directed at me.
Five names.
2007.
Huh?
1997.
1997, I mean.
That's what I meant.
You're guessing that's the name of the movie?
No, no.
Yeah, 1997.
1997.
Yeah, and you're five out of six names.
We're going to hear five of the actors in this movie,
and you're only not going to hear the top-billed person.
Okay.
Daniel Von Bargen.
Bargy.
That's rough.
Jason Beige.
Beige. B-E-G-H-E. How do you pronounce that?
Beige.
Scott Wilson.
Anne Bancroft.
And Viggo
Mortensen.
And the movie is called... The guy in the wheelchair thingy? Anne Bancroft and Viggo Mortensen.
And the movie is called... The guy in the wheelchair thingy?
Oh.
I simply don't know.
Fair enough.
I simply don't know.
That's cool.
Who's the number one guy?
It's not a guy.
Remember I told you it's about a woman?
Yeah.
It was one of the clues. I told you it's about a woman? Yeah.
It was one of the clues.
I thought that was a pretty strong clue because the woman's name is Demi Moore
and the movie's G.I. Jane.
Wowza.
That's right.
G.I. Jane.
We've got a three-way tie.
Yeah.
That's right.
Anne Bancroft plays the senator that's doing...
Got it.
Got it.
Viggo Mortensen's...
Daniel Von Bargen lives in Cincinnati and drinks at a bar by Go Bananas.
Just straight whiskey.
And he never shaves, but he looks like he doesn't look good.
Is that McLeavy's?
Is he drinking McLeavy's?
No, down the street a little bit.
Like a block down the street at the Village Tavern.
And then he tried to, and then he shot himself and then called the police after he shot himself
because he had just shot himself.
But he called and was like, I just
did this. You should come get me.
And then they did, and I guess
he's probably still at that bar.
I can't believe what a Daniel Von Bargen
treasure trove.
DVB.
We've opened. Right, he played the devil
in No Brother Where Art Thou.
Oh, okay.
I'll have to pay more attention to that guy's no i think he's done so he doesn't try to kill himself again
he's not a lot of cincinnati productions no all right um where do we go from here who starts us
off graham starts us off because he wasn't involved in that? I don't know. I started off, but Jeff
got the point. Who challenged him, though?
Jeff asked. I challenged her.
Oh, yeah. And since she didn't get it,
so that means we do start with Graham
and go to Jeff. So,
Karen, you might not have to do anything.
We'll see.
Graham gets to pick a category
between these three options.
Would you like...
Matt Picasso suggested
The Thin Red Line,
and that's movies that have misspelled titles.
Like a word in the title is misspelled.
Thin Red Line.
Another...
Oh, shit, I should have just gone right to The Tiebreaker,
but it's too hard.
I don't want to explain it to Karen
So let's just
She caught on the rest of it pretty quick
Yeah, that's true
I don't think she's ready for asparagus pee
I am too
Okay, let's do it, asparagus pee
Now Karen, what we're going to need you to do is
In the other room, we've got some asparagus
Yes Then what? Now, Karen, what we're going to need you to do is we've got, in the other room, we've got some asparagus.
Yes.
Then what?
Well, then we just fucking see what happens.
What?
This makes no sense.
I just think you'd love some asparagus.
It's brain food.
No, the tiebreaker.
The tieboat baker.
I'm going to get it.
Don't worry.
Just tell me.
I will.
And you will.
I have much faith in you.
But Graham gets to go first, and you're going third, so we'll see what happens.
Okay.
In the asparagus pea category, I read the entire review, soup to nuts. I tell you everything. And then I tell you how many names there are.
And then the bidding begins.
It becomes a game of knowing what actors are in the movie.
It becomes negative names.
And you know how negative names works?
If you say I can name in two negative names, then you have to name the top two billed people in the movie according to Leonard.
In the right order.
So everyone in this room,
theoretically, is going to know the title of this movie.
By the time I get through with this,
it did not work when I did it
with...
What movie was it? The Western?
Nobody could figure it out.
But this time, you guys are going to know this movie.
All right, that's what we're doing.
310 to Yuma.
It wasn't that one.
That's a good movie, though.
It's a good movie.
Silverado was the movie, and everybody just thought it was...
Oh, I just saw that.
Everyone thought it was Wyatt Earp.
Or no, Tombstone.
Tombstone.
All right, but get those ideas out of your head,
because this movie is from 1972.
The 1970s answer to Gone with the Wind All right, but get those ideas out of your head, because this movie is from 1972.
The 1970s answer to Gone with the Wind from Mario Puzo's novel on the violent life and times of mafia patriarch Don Corleone.
Pulp fiction raised to the highest level, a film of epic proportions,
masterfully done and set to Nino Roda's memorable music, absolutely irresistible.
Academy Award winner for Best Picture, Actor, Screenplay.
Baby in the Baptism Scene is actually Coppola's infant daughter, Sophia,
who later ruined The Godfather Part III.
No, it just says she co-starred in Godfather Part III.
And of course, this movie was followed by two sequels and Leonard Liss.
No, it was followed by one sequel.
Third one does not
count.
Finally, somebody took down that third
Godfather movie.
And
Leonard Liss. They took
Godfather 3 down on Cheers in
1990.
Sixteen names. Graham Elwood.
How many do you think you can name?
You've got to get them in the right order.
And of course, you'll have to name the film.
and of course you'll have to name the film very confident fellow in the audience
thinks you can do it
I got the names it's just what's the order
that's the big dilemma with this
yeah that's the dilemma Graham
that's what this round's all about
is the order of those names
I got one of those sent to my door the other day
a dilemma Graham
that was going to be my twitter, but they were all out of them.
It's like a bird.
You went with Cunt Graham?
Yeah, I went with Cunt Graham.
Cunt Graham!
A Dilemma Graham is like a birthday gram, but it's sung by a real sad dude.
No, it's whistled.
Somebody comes to your door and just, you know, they...
Hey, you blocked me in. It's shit like that. They make you realize, yeah, there's... Can you move, you know You blocked me in
You make you realize, yeah
Can you move your car? You blocked me in
There's a problem
There's a dilemma that needs solving
I backed into your mailbox
But, like, to a tune
Does any of that help you, Graham?
You're just helping him
You're helping him install is what you're doing
Alright, I'm gonna to go negative four.
Oh, lordy!
Now it comes to me.
If I go down, I go down big.
I say negative four.
Go do it.
You do it, Graham.
Name it, Graham.
I thought you were going to bid less.
I'm going to bid the same, but Graham has to say them.
I say name it.
Because you think you could do a negative four also?
No, no, I just want Graham to do it. I don't know
what fucking order. I don't even know what movie
this is.
Jaws? It's no
Con Air, we'll tell you that much.
It goes, what is it? It goes
Robert Quint,
Richard Dreyfuss, Roy
Scheider, and the Shark.
You think they hired
a guy named Quint to play Quint?
I believe that's 1975 or 76.
That's what I got wrong, Graham.
Let's get this Quint guy to play the Quint character.
Robert Shaw.
Thank you.
Robert Shaw.
Go negative four, Graham.
Name it.
Yeah, I've got to name the movie first.
The movie, I believe, is called The Godfather.
In order from
top bill down.
And congratulations, by the way, Jeff.
Oh, you
cocksucker.
There's no way in hell you're going to get this.
People have faith
in you. It is...
Jeff is ready to fight
somebody.
It is Marlon Brando.
That's what I said.
It is Al Pacino.
Then it is...
I know it!
Then it is... Yes, it! Then it is...
Yes, I almost said Britney Spears, yes.
And Katy Perry. Did I get it?
Did I win it all?
It is Marlon Brando, it is Al Pacino,
and then it is...
Pick some of all those names.
Diane Keaton and Robert Duvall.
Shut your fucking mouth! Robert Duv names. Diane Keaton and Robert Duvall. Shut your fucking mouth!
Robert Duvall and Diane Keaton.
Play it back.
No, it's here.
The reason I knew you wouldn't be able to get it
is the fourth billed actor is named Richard Castellano.
Yeah, the father of Dan Castellano,
who is the voice of Homer Simpson.
Was I right on the third name?
No, that was James Caan. That's who I guessed, of Homer Simpson. Was I right on the third name? No, that was James Caan.
That's who I guessed.
That's Sonny.
You got Brando and Pacino right.
And once again, Graham is taken down
by his own hubris.
I found out what hubris
meant earlier today.
I've been dying to use it.
I've been dying to use it.
Yeah, because if Graham, if you'd have gone two names,
nobody would have dared go three, I don't think.
Maybe you were worried about Jeff.
I would have gone three.
And you would have put James Caan in the third slot?
There's only three people in that movie that I know are in that movie,
and it's those three.
I would have maybe said Robert Duvall.
He had a big part, but he was strangely
If I went four, I would have tried to slide Italian
guy as the fourth one.
And just hope you bought it.
Marlon Brando,
Al Pacino, James
Kahn, we call him Jimmy around our
house. Jimmy Kahn, and
you know, some Italian
guy.
That's all four. Where'd you get that album from?
Let's give away the prize bag.
Who were you playing for? That was the
bottom of the ninth. The Joe Carter
walk-off, we win.
Get that album over there. It's that guy, right?
Yeah, what's his name? His name is Justin.
That's where we have the name tag. There you go, Justin. Congratulations.
Justin, congratulations!
Give him his album back.
You don't want your Sharky's machine?
So sorry, dude. Oh, you get to keep it.
Fuck!
Yeah, but that played into it.
Oh, that's why you chose it? Because you really want to have it?
Well, the guy showed me a picture of
Burt Reynolds, and from a distance, I was on board.
And then...
I got closer, and it's just a sticker.
His face on it looks like
he's like, oh, I'm so worried I have a gun.
What's the metal part?
He's got a gun and he's very concerned looking.
He's a detective, man.
He's got stuff to do.
That took place in Atlanta, I think?
I think so.
I don't know. I haven't listened to the album yet.
All right.
Well, pass those other shitheads down to me, if you will.
I'm sure that Grams has a peel-off.
Does this peel off, too?
Oh, it's just written on there.
Nate wants me to smash it, so we should make a vine of this.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, don't make him do it.
They don't want him to smash it. No, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. They don't want him to smash it.
No, no.
No, no, they're too good.
He wants me to smash it, the guy who made it.
I can do another one.
He doesn't want you to smash it.
He's being peer pressured
into you smashing his
art project.
No, but there's a bunch of people who don't want him to smash it.
He also wants us to pull his underwear over his head.
All right, how many people do not want it smashed?
No.
No.
I don't.
I don't want it smashed.
I don't want it smashed.
How many people want it smashed?
Animals.
You guys are animals.
I can't be a party to this.
Hey, come. Oh. I'm not good. Oh,'t be a party to this. Hey, come...
Oh.
I'm not good.
Oh, you didn't commit to it.
I thought you really were going to walk all the way off.
I was just going to say, stick around for the stand-up show.
God.
Yeah.
Would have put your hand up like an old guy in a urinal.
Who's going to be...
Who's going to be in charge of making the vine of this because i'm as you know i'm
terrible at making vines and we want to we want a good one of it getting getting smashed
yeah will you if he makes the vine will you revine it yeah i'll revine it all right nate
make the vine make your own make the vine of your own destruction nate i don't i can't watch this
i can't watch this are I can't watch this.
Are they like little voodoo
figures? Is this going to hurt me?
Go easy on you and me, Graham.
Palm strike!
Palm strike those fuckers.
Just get a quick establishing shot.
Are you going to do one of those
wrestling things where you go down on your elbow on it?
Oh.
You savages.
Yeah, that would hurt his elbow.
Well, I don't know.
I'm not going to do that.
It might be a jujitsu.
You don't want what?
You don't want to hear me say go?
Alright, so we're ready?
Yeah, you'll only have a few seconds once he's vining.
I'll just go ready, go, and then I'll make a big foot and then
come on down and smash it.
Yeah, and then grind it around a little.
Six seconds.
I can't believe how much pain some of the
the woman
Hey!
Jeff Tate!
Jeff Tate rescued us.
The greatest part was
one of the women who was so opposed to me smashing it
was like, no, no, well, but get the camera out.
Might as well make us have fucking good footage
off of this shit.
All right, Nate, you got to get off your knees, dude.
It looks creepy now.
Just sit on your knees right around around my waist level that's cool
yeah i'll give you a goddamn diorama
thank you everybody here for coming tonight thank you
graham's gonna go set up graham elwood everybody
he would have stomped that thing oh he would have stomped that thing he would have
stomped it
that's great
he was up for the
challenge
and then
Jeff Tate
our rescuer
he's back there
in the green room
now just
holding on to that
thing like a
mother cub
mother and her cubs
what are you doing
he ran all the way
out the building
he's got his
luggage
what about this
what do you read
about that
this is a part of the show where as a in all the way out the building? Look at him. He's got his luggage. What about this? What do you read about that?
This is a part of the show where as a consolation
prize, the people that
lost today will say
anybody they want is a shithead.
I'll stay for this.
Yeah, hang out for it. They're all leaving.
It's fun. You can do whatever you want.
I rescued something so that doesn't count as leaving.
Whatever you do, just do it quietly.
That's all I ask.
Karen Anderson, ladies and gentlemen.
Did you have fun, Karen?
Do you want to do this again sometime?
I loved it.
I think I'll be good.
I told you not to speak.
Whoops.
I asked her a question.
But yeah, it was fun having you on here,
so we'll do it again sometime.
And as always, Ben Travers
is a shithead.
Yeah, fuck that guy!
But Graham needs a little bit more time
to set up the merch table, so
are you going to do a set in the late show
tonight, Karen? Are you going to do some stand-up?
People want to see it.
It's kind of just dirty stuff.
Yeah.
Tell your arch story again.
Which one was it?
You talked all about going to the arch today.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
I'll do something. But not long.
Just interrupt me fast.
Do like five minutes. That's not that long. Try interrupt me fast. Do like five minutes.
That's not that long.
Try to figure it out.
Interview me again.
What do you want to do?
A Star Search 2?
You know, Kevin James beat me on that.
Did he?
Yeah.
Kevin James was here last night playing a gigantic opera house.
That is so weird.
I had no idea.
Yeah.
And he was the one that defeated you on Star Search.
Yes.
Did he go on to win a bunch of times in a row? Yes. He went on to
become the King of Queens. I could have been the Queen of Queens.
Wait,
that was a prize on Star Search? You got to
star on a CBS show for 10 years?
No, he won the 100 grand.
He did? Yep.
I don't remember him being a winner of that, but I guess
you're right.
Thank you to everybody who came tonight. I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
And as always, my inability
to sculpt Sam Levine
is a shit. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
Eyes of gold, his viewing crowd was makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies