Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Kevin Avery and Carlos Rodriguez guest
Episode Date: January 2, 2016Live from the Punchline in Sacramento, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Kevin Avery and Carlos Rodriguez to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice a...t https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Enjoy the show!
Doug hates
candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky
seeds with 50 acid pop
or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he
won't see, cause Doug
loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies!
All right, now, if we play our cards right,
that's the last time we'll hear from any of you.
Because we're coming to you once again from Amy Adams
Ground Zero.
The Punchline Comedy
Club in Sacramento, California!
It's Wednesday, December
30th, 2015. We're
smack dab in the taint.
Happy hump, everybody.
Yeah, let me see your name tags.
There's a pillow right up front that I love already.
It says, one drew over the cuckoo's nest.
And then it's my face with what looks like
kind of a Russian hat on.
It's a beanie.
Okay. And it's a pillow.
You're a pillow maker?
Oh, he got smothered with a pillow. Spoiler.
Oh, it's like McMurphy's beanie.
That's right. It just looked like a
different from my angle.
Look at this. Shea Girls
instead of show girls
because your name is Shay?
Yeah.
Yeah, and you put some
really tasteful gold
things on her titties.
And then four Christmas lights.
It's very...
It's elaborate and unelaborate
at the same time.
And then you're next to
Sierra married an axe murderer.
Very nicely made sign
with a fucking axe on it.
I don't know if security here
is a little lax
if they're letting people in with axes.
Is it hurt if you hit with that axe?
It's got foam? Yeah, with the foam.
It's got foam?
Okay, good.
Kevin Glorious Bastards?
Kevin Glorious Bastards, yeah.
The Evident.
That's very good.
I like that.
That bear is going at it.
That bear is getting it.
And then, oh, there's a sword over here.
What does that sword say on it?
Camlander.
Camlander.
There is only one.
Oh, there's some way the heck over there.
Good luck, everybody that brought name tags.
I can't see a lot of them.
Oh, I see there's some candy on that one.
That's always a good way to trick people to pick them.
Okay, put them down, you guys.
Good job, everybody.
I know with the holidays and everything,
you're busy wrapping presents and stuff,
so to have more arts and crafts shit to have to do
really warms my cockles.
That you go to all to do. Really warms my cockles. Bet you got in all that trouble.
Let's do some Doug's plugs.
Saturday, this very Saturday,
January 2nd, 2016,
Doug Loves Movies returns
to Meltdown Comics in Hollywood
at 420-ish.
And I'll just warn you right now,
it's going to be a really good one.
They're all really good, but I know who I booked.
And I'm pretty happy about it.
Let's put it this way.
A favorite guest of the show that hasn't been on in maybe four or five years
is going to be back on Saturday,
but also probably will cancel on me at the last minute.
And Doug Lowe's movie tapings are happening in January
in Seattle and Austin.
And you go to DougLovesMovies.com
for Mo
Dietz.
I am so close
to completing the 365
movies in 365
days
DLM challenge.
I think I'm up to 360.
Today I watched The Voices,
Cake, Joy,
The Good Dinosaur, Concussion,
and Hunger Games
Mockingjay Part 2.
I'm telling
the truth!
Yeah, I got up
at five this morning,
I watched the first two in my hotel room,
and then I went to the lovely multiplexes
that are right here in the neighborhood,
and I banged out all those other ones
and only paid for two out of the four.
Yeah.
Yeah, take that, Hollywood.
Because you know what you do when you sneak from one movie to the other?
Buy something at a concession stand.
It's like, you know, $8 for a popcorn,
so they're getting all the money on that,
and you're only ripping off the movie studios by switching theaters.
And if the studios were concerned about it at all, if they were concerned about it at all,
they would pay people more money at the theaters
to stand and check people's tickets going in.
But there's no one even, like, if you sneak past a person,
that's not very cool.
But if you go in when there's nobody even there
watching the door, why not?
Just don't go in mid-movie.
Those people drive me crazy,
where they just sort of come in, look around, sit down.
Then they watch for like 20 minutes.
And I can't stop thinking about,
how could, how do they even know what's happening
in this fucking, you know, like the most complicated movie,
like the big short or something.
Somebody walk in halfway and then sit there for a while. And then eventually they'll get up and leave
because they're just like, they can't even get into it.
It's like if you tried to get into the TV show series
The Wire by watching, like, ten minutes
in the middle of the first episode.
I don't think it would take.
All right, that's all I have to say for my opening remarks.
I'm going to get into what's in the prize bag
once I get my three guests out here.
I'm very excited that these gentlemen are around
and able to participate.
Please give a big, warm welcome to Carlos Rodriguez,
Kevin Avery, and Jeff Tate.
Thank you. Kevin Avery and Jeff Tate. What is happening?
I feel like I just saw the three of you
in an indie heist film on Netflix.
Danny Masterson was the fourth.
Never mind.
Well, let's start. Since you
spoke first, I guess, I think,
let's start with him on the other end there.
Jeff Tate is here, you guys.
Hello, Sacramento!
Your microphone doesn't seem to be happening.
Maybe you have a little switchy on there.
Check and see if there's a little on-off situation.
Nope.
I'm still talking into it.
But now I'm talking into Kevin.
Well, just pass the one that's not working around
to whoever's not talking at the time.
I feel like that's going to be...
Until it starts to work.
I think they'll get it eventually.
There, it sounds like it's working.
Now they're all on.
Yeah, there you go.
Is it?
Yeah.
Hey, hello, everybody.
I'm, uh...
My name is Jeff.
And I...
And I love Doug Loves Movies.
Yeah, and you're out here
in California for a few days.
You got to do, you were on the stand-up show here last night,
and you got to enjoy the post-show session
that always happens here at the Sacramento Punchline.
Yeah, I've seen some post-show sessions with you,
and nothing comes close to what happened here yesterday.
It was pretty good.
It was like 150 people out there
and a security guard wearing a ski
mask like he was
going to burgle. And he came around the corner and kind of went
kind of gave us
one of those takes where he acts
like he's going to come at you. I was like, what is that
about? It was like he was dressed
like a burglar in a
commercial about home security systems.
Yeah, because they've got to scare you
that little extra bit with that extra flourish.
If I'm going to get you, I'm not going to just take your stuff.
But that's classic security guard behavior.
I'm going to go startle a hundred people.
I'm not even a real cop, and I have no backup or walkie-talkie,
but I'm going to go fucking startle a hundred.
Boo!
Tonight we were just standing around out front smoking joints,
and the security guy tonight walked up and went,
ah, the ganja.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, apparently their second shift security guys
are a little more laid back.
Third shift is more of a really wants to be a cop security guard.
You'd be surprised, you know, you let people smoke outside a mattress store, you move a
lot more units.
Yeah, yeah.
And that cupcake store, I mean there should be a smoke session constantly in this parking lot.
Just people going back and forth between eating cupcakes and taking naps.
Where's the cupcake store?
It's over there somewhere. I don't know. I'm not from here.
Is it in the area? In the parking lot?
In this mall, yeah.
All right.
In the How About Arden Mall.
Okay.
And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is Mr. Kevin Avery.
Hey!
Is the Cupcake Store open?
I don't know.
How late do you think it will be open?
It's in a corner of the mall.
You're shaking your head like you're absolutely positive
it's closed.
What time is it?
Right now, it's quarter to nine or something.
No, it's eight, fifteen.
When do you guys want to go
run and check and see if the fucking
cupcake store is open?
First of all, can someone check and see what time it is?
It's three quarters to nine.
No, but there's nobody standing around that doesn't
want to see the show.
I don't want to miss part of the show to go check
on cupcakes. I might be celebrating
my birthday, and I haven't had a cake yet.
What? That's all I'm saying.
That's all I'm saying. He also
said might. No, don't sing.
Run and get a fucking cupcake.
But thank you. Thank you. Yeah, nobody's getting up to go get a cupcake. No one gives't sing. Run and get a fucking cupcake. But thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, nobody's getting up to go get a cupcake.
No one gives a shit.
No one gives a shit.
I want to go.
I want to go check it out.
Is it closed?
Close at nine.
It's still open.
Somebody make a cupcake run.
I see stripes.
I see stripes.
Stripes is taking off.
The bathroom is that way too, man.
I don't want a bathroom cupcake.
Yeah, the words cupcake rug
probably makes some people have to go.
Please, no.
Anyway, hey everybody.
Alright, well thanks for being here, Kevin,
and putting everybody's minds on cupcakes.
They're delicious.
Yeah.
You're on the wrong Doug
podcast.
Kev loves movies and cupcakes.
Yeah.
Also, please welcome to the show,
first time guest, very polite
thus far. It's Carlos
Rodriguez, everybody.
Everybody.
Meow, meow, meow.
What the fuck was that?
Did you do that?
Yes, I did.
I had to bring myself in like a champ.
I was like, DJ, hit it.
Meow, meow, meow.
That was strong, yeah.
That was like, oh, man.
What?
Carlos is here.
I'm here, and you can also catch me
moonlighting as a security guard
in the parking lot after the show
in a ski mask.
I'll be watching.
That guy might have just been wearing a nice jacket
with a patch on it that said security.
Like, you could probably just buy one of those.
Or a Raider fan.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Now, Carlos, you've heard the show before,
which is also kind of a rare occasion
when a new guest also is familiar with the show
and how everything works.
So you think you're going to be good at the games?
Yeah, yeah, I think I'll be decent.
If not...
These guys are pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know, I listen to them.
I listen to them a lot.
They went toe-to-toe on Denzel Washington once.
And you'd be surprised who was the victor.
Look, why are you gonna...
Why are you gonna bring that shit up, dog?
Why you gotta bring that shit up?
That was months ago.
There was a lot of tension in the green room earlier.
I fucked up and said the wrong movie.
That's all that happened.
Oh, you mean you lost?
You're just describing how people lose
the game.
I fucked up and I lost.
I went down fucking up.
Well, I said all the right movies
and beat you.
Wilma is a perfectly legitimate Denzel
Washington film. It just was on TV.
Sounds like a show.
Alright, we're not gonna do this.
I can't do this.
I can't relive it. Inside the prize bag
tonight is a shirt that I
don't know where I got it.
I don't know what
significance to that particular
number is, but it's
for a movie called My All American.
Sure. Which was
our friend in Bloomington.
No, but I didn't get it from him.
I got it somewhere else.
The guy that wrote
or the writer
of Hoosiers
and Rudy directed
this movie and wrote it,
My All-American, Angelo Pizzo.
Angelo Pizzo.
Yeah, and one guy clapped over there.
A lady.
It was a lady.
She got all freaked out.
Wait, I'm a lady!
I saw your face.
But we hope to see him again
next summer at the Bloomington
Limestone Comedy Festival
because we want to do an interruption
of Rudy with him participating.
And then I've got a Douglas Movies t-shirt
and this is some pirate booty.
It's delicious.
Pirate booty.
And what else did I get over at the Jamba Juice?
A Crave beef jerky.
It's chili lime flavor.
And can you ever pass up anything
that says chili lime on it?
It's such a specific, delightful taste.
And then what do you got for the prize bag, Jeff Tate?
Oh, I have a...
I got a denim on denim shirt.
Okay.
And also, you know I love to bring novelizations of movies in.
And this time I brought in...
I do know that about you.
This time I brought in a novelization of a play,
The Book of Mormon.
Bravo.
Weird.
Bravo.
I guess those dudes wrote a play
and then some other people were like,
that sounds like a pretty good idea.
And then made it into a book.
And blessed art thou,
because thou hast established a church
among this people.
Yep.
I guess, yeah, that applies specifically to me.
Yeah.
This church that I've created.
Where people bring their trinkets.
The only real difference between what you do and what they do
is all the movies you talk about are real movies.
Oh, snappage.
Kevin Avery, what do you got for the prize bag?
I didn't care for that shit Didn't care for that shit, man
Are you a Mormon?
Uh, no
Then what the problem is?
I'm a little twitchy
I'm not a Mormon, but I date like one
Oh man, I'm taking you with me
everywhere I fucking go.
They were out of
timely gift bags, so
happy
Valentine's Day, yeah.
Happy eight weeks from now.
Yeah. I got a... Happy eight weeks from now. Yeah.
I got a couple of copies of...
I just threw this in here
because I got a shit ton of these in my trunk.
My CD, Hardcore.
One of them's unwrapped for some reason.
I don't know what the fuck that's...
Oh, so yeah, don't open that one.
It'll be worth more someday.
And then action figures.
And then what?
It's two of this album.
Yeah, one open, one unopened.
One's easier to re-give than the other one.
Keep one in the package and put one on display.
It's the all-lives-of-me of comedy.
Yeah, and then I did this film called Thugs the Musical,
and here are a couple of downloads to that right here.
And then I had to run into Walgreens
and pick up some stuff
and I thought, well, tis the season.
I found this nutcracker
of this random white lady dancing.
Whoa.
That is the weirdest thing
that anybody's ever...
I don't think this is Clara.
This is just some random woman who was hanging out in the crib.
And was like, you know what?
I like this Taylor Swift song.
And just fucking went to it.
So, enjoy.
Enjoy that shit.
Your jeans are covered in glitter.
Pass that whole bag down here.
I know, yeah, it's glitter from...
Yeah, here you go.
Valentine's Day thing.
Oh, shit.
Wait, did Stripe come back?
The first...
He's back.
Where'd he go?
He's right there.
He's got the cupcake right there.
Are you taking the cupcake away?
Oh, for real?
Look at that.
Thanks, man.
Thank you.
What do we get?
Oh, you guys.
It's a...
frozen yogurt?
It's pinkberry.
What?
What the fuck?
You went to Pinkberry instead of the cupcake place?
That is hilarious.
What?
Happy birthday.
Shut the fuck up.
That guy took care of your request like a stepdad.
Fuck. That guy took care of your request like a stepdad.
Great, more airport yogurt, thanks dad.
All right, well, I mean, I got to, this is time sensitive.
I got to eat this shit before it melts. Right?
I don't want to eat on the podcast, but, you know, the ticking clock and all.
Put in the prize bag.
A cupcake could have waited.
Where is that guy?
Why did that happen?
Thank you.
Why did you?
Is the cupcake place closed?
Yeah.
It wasn't closed?
They close early when it's Wednesday.
When a crazy guy in a striped shirt is running out.
I need cupcakes!
Freaked them all out.
But I love the not coming back empty-handed
when he found out they were closed.
Why didn't you just pop into...
Why didn't...
Why didn't you just pop into B Why didn't... Why didn't you just pop into Baja Fresh
and get a burrito?
I would have been super clutch.
Coming back from Nordstrom's,
I found this belt!
Yeah.
This is cool!
Happy birthday.
You brought ice cream's dropout cousin.
Yogurt.
I thought Nordstrom...
I thought Nordstrom rack was all bras
Oh look at you
You got all your utensil and everything
Oh he's got a plastic one
For the environment
Is it good?
What flavor is this?
Oh that's always a good sign
Take a big spoonful of it What is this? It's like a I'm not going to eat it on your podcast But it's always a good sign, yogurt. Take a big spoonful of it.
What is this?
It's like a...
I'm not going to eat it on your podcast,
but it's like a lime...
Oh, so it's lime?
At least with yogurt, there's no chewing, theoretically.
It's delicious.
It's delicious.
Thank you.
What's your name?
Kevin.
Your name is fucking Kevin?
Oh, man.
I think that's how it works.
If you're a white guy
and you have the same name
as a black man
you're his slave.
Reparations!
Hats off to you, Kev.
The yogurt's delish.
That's from the musical
Friday on the Porch.
Reparations.
What are reparations?
I can't wait to get the book
about the reparations.
Jeff, are you fanning yourself with a spoon?
Yep.
Not anymore.
I thought that's what was going on.
All right, so Carlos, did I ask you about the prize bag yet?
Not yet.
I got...
Oh, it's in your pocket.
It's in my pocket.
I got a couple of things. This is how we It's in my pocket. I got a couple things.
God, I hope it's...
This is how we do
in the sacrament.
We put shit in our pockets
and walk out.
It's a...
What?
A laser pointer
to irritate people.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
You can irritate
your family and friends
wherever you go.
Congrats.
It always gets a big laugh
when you whip out
the laser pointer.
They love it
when you point it at a plane, too.
The pilots are all like, goody.
And is there more in your pocket?
Yeah, I got iPod.
Earbuds?
Those are 35 bucks.
Used earbuds.
They're not used.
Those are brand new.
Oh, those are clean?
Those are clean.
All right.
They're stupid clean.
You can eat off them.
Let's get Kevin up here.
Kevin, could you come up and lick these?
Could you test them for us?
Wait, your name is Kevin?
Did you bring a name tag tonight, Kevin?
Yeah.
You did.
All right, so Kevin might pick you.
And then last-
I would say he should.
Last thing I got is a movie,
and it's four and one.
It's all of the Ninja Turtles.
Oh. I would say he should. Last thing I got is a movie, and it's four in one. It's All the Ninja Turtles.
It's a Blu-ray.
How big are your pockets?
I'm Mexican, so...
What does that even mean?
It was in my pocket, eh?
I think I'm Mexican, so... is how he begins a lot of sentences.
A lot of statements start that way.
Hey, I'm Mexican, so.
It's got all of them.
Of course I had a laser pot.
I love laser.
What was your favorite one?
Did you see it?
A laser thingy.
What?
Did you see all the Ninja Turtles?
These ones are like cartoons or something, right?
No, no.
These are the live action ones.
That one's the cartoon, but these are all the regular live action ones.
Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, but now it's been rebooted again again right
but it's still megan fox's april o'neill even though it's so it's kind of a c it's a sequel
to the new one to the new sequel to the newer one yeah that shit's confusing. But yeah, I've never been much of a Mutant Ninja Turtle
enthusiast.
You just lost everybody.
People love them, but I don't
think they really put in the time.
I think they like the idea of them
more than spending a lot of time
watching them.
I wish they would let them
age. I would love to see
45-year-old
mutant Ninja Turtles.
Just like,
I'm tired of this
fucking skateboard.
Give me that.
I wish they would let them age
because
Raphael is
No.
Do they, do the Ninja Turtles, do they have sex?
Do they try to have sex with anything?
I think Michelangelo always tries to fuck April all the time.
Those are children's movies.
Oh, okay.
That explains it.
So it's like subtle.
Like there's no...
So it's like subtle. Like there's no...
The trailer for the new one has Megan Fox
like putting on a high school,
Catholic high school outfit
and strutting around.
So I don't know about the kids.
It's also kind of a sequel to 22 Jump Street.
Where they...
Oh, I would pay so much money
to watch Ice Cube yell at Ninja Turtles.
Yeah.
Threaten to take away their badges.
And they'd be like,
we're Ninja Turtles.
Y'all turtles going back to college.
Yeah.
That's a female.
Alright, let's go down the line.
We'll start with Carlos.
Last movie that you saw.
Oh, I've seen Point Break.
You did?
Yeah.
Why?
I actually, I see everything finally
a point break
without Swayze
and Reeves
those losers
no I seen everything
in the movie theater
so that was the last thing
that was the last thing
I held off for
and it was horrible
it was really bad
it should be called
Pointless
or
yeah
or X-Files the movie
I mean not X-Files the movie
but X-Games the movie
yeah cause it's well X-Files the movie. I mean, not X-Files the movie, but X-Games the movie.
Yeah, because it's really gross.
Well, X-Files the movie wasn't very good either.
It was a rough one.
The first one was good.
You thought so?
Yeah, I liked the first one.
Fight the Future?
I'm a fan of X-Files Fight the Future.
Okay.
It's all right.
Sorry.
It's all right, I guess.
Yeah.
So if you've seen everything, and Point Break was the last thing you saw,
what's something that you saw recently
that you'd recommend that you thought was great?
Shit.
The latest thing.
I liked...
You know, but it's...
A while back was the end of the tour.
I think that was one I liked
that I'd recommend.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
People can watch that still.
I think it's on Netflix right now.
Is it? No, it's not.
I think so. I think it is.
There's a lot of stuff on Netflix.
Everything else sucked that came out so far.
I didn't like Concussion. I didn't like
Star Wars' eye.
Now I lost you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's a sentence you should have started differently.
Well, because I'm Mexican, I didn't like it.
Yeah, there you go.
You see how that was easier for all the white people?
You spend enough time around people named Chewy.
It's not special.
He's lost his novelty
wow
alright Kevin
I
what have you seen
I saw Star Wars
loved it
fuck is wrong with people.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Loved it.
And then for my Christmas movie, I saw...
Because The Revenant wasn't out.
I thought The Revenant was going to be...
It's not everywhere.
I wasn't in a select city.
So I went and saw Concussion.
The whole room went, oh.
A lady over here sneezed because she's allergic to serious drama biopic things.
I saw it today.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What did you think?
Yeah, tell the truth.
Well, there you go.
I didn't mind it.
I didn't have a problem with it,
but I also walked out feeling the same way as I did when I walked in.
Yeah, those guys hit each other in the head a lot.
So they probably get concussions.
It's probably hurting their skulls quite a bit
to do that all the time.
I went home and I watched football.
And I was like, alright, yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't really make the case
for the whole thing
should be shut down because that's going to happen
to people. But it does seem like
more people are going to keep their kids from playing.
Yeah. You know?
Maybe they'll play more like, you know, flag
football or whatever. Less
contact. Yeah.
That's also a way to work in the girls, too.
Because girls, if it's not, if you're not tackling
each other, girls could play football pretty well, probably.
You know?
I would agree.
Yeah, Kathy Ireland was in Necessary Roughness.
She was the kicker.
All right, Jeff, we're going to start a speak when spoken to rule.
Wait, I didn't hear you.
What did you say?
We're going to start a what? What'd you say? We're gonna start a what?
What'd you see?
What was the last thing you saw?
Star Wars is fantastic
That's not the last thing you saw though
No, I've seen
I saw Sisters and Daddy's Home
With my mom
My mom wanted to see both of those movies
Like a double feature? Different days my mom. My mom wanted to see both of those movies.
Like a double feature?
Different days. Sisters in Daddy's Home.
Listen,
they're both funny. They're both really funny.
I think the one thing that I wish that
both of them had kind of shied away
from is the necessity for
there always has to be these big
slapstick things that happen
that you see in TV
commercials as well where somebody
falls around quite violently
and probably would be hospitalized
or probably dead.
But it's just hilarious.
I have tried to put things up my
butt and it is not that easy.
You can't just fall onto a music ballerina
and have it go straight up the old fucking...
It's not easy to do on purpose.
Well, okay, I want to try to guess which movie that's from.
Did one of the sisters fall on a music ballerina?
You're probably going to be wrong.
Or did Mark Wahlberg fall on a music ballerina?
And that thing with the motorcycle?
Also dumb.
Just be funny.
Everything else was funny.
Why do you got to do...
Yeah, the motorcycle thing is insane.
Like, the amount of damages he causes,
and then, like, there's never...
Like, it's repaired almost immediately,
and nobody talks about it.
Hannibal's so goddamn funny in Daddy's Home.
Yeah, Hannibal's just funny.
Yeah.
Hannibal Buress is...
I didn't mean like he's exclusively funny.
Like that's the only place he was funny.
He's always funny.
It's been his best place so far in terms of like movies.
Movies, yeah.
He had a small part in Neighbors where he was the funny cop or whatever.
But yeah, that dude's great.
He used to be on this show.
Like this one? Like this tonight? Yeah, he used to be on this show. Like this one?
Like this tonight?
Yeah, he used to be on.
He was booked for tonight,
but it turns out he's not in this city,
and he didn't know anything about it.
But I had him locked in.
I just got to vent for a second.
ASAP Rocky
was supposed to be on
Getting Doug With High
on our 100th episode
and we were so excited
to have him
and it was his third
our third try
at getting him
because he had cancelled
or tried to postpone
a couple times before
and on this third try
you know
I was pretty psyched
ASAP Rocky
100th episode
this is gonna be great, right?
And he canceled an hour before the show was supposed to start.
Oh.
And the reason he canceled is because he had to stay home
and sign for a package.
Why would you ever say that out loud as an excuse?
Like, I'm sick. I would Like, what? I'm sick.
I would have settled with, I'm sick.
I would have been like, great, I don't want somebody who's sick coming
on my show, but I got a fucking sign
for a package. The idea that
he's just waiting and then he has to take a pen
and tap it on his tongue, ASAP.
Rocky. Yeah, and the guy's
like, hey, you forgot to dollar sign that S.
But hopefully it'll be on at some point
in the future. I don't want to
be too mad about it. Did you say what was in the package?
I still wanted to come on. That's what I'm saying.
It was a fucking cocaine or some shit
or a baby. The fuck was in that package?
Maybe he ordered
a box of pears from Harry and David.
And he doesn't want those just sat
on his front porch.
Yeah, those will go bad.
Those will go bad.
They'll attract birds.
Larvae get in that.
That's bad.
I think you guys
are being too hard
on A$AP Rocky.
Am I saying that right?
A$AP?
A$AP's fables.
I think you nailed it.
I'm just trying to decide what to do next.
I think we should play Tell the Truth.
I'm going to start with Kevin.
Just one simple question.
There's no winning or losing.
You just have to tell the truth.
Okay.
All right?
Please be honest with all of us.
What is your favorite Will Smith movie?
Independence Day.
Tell the truth!
I thought I did.
Carlos
Rodriguez, do you have
a favorite Will Smith motion picture in which he starred or made an appearance?
Or was the voice of a fish?
Oh, voice of a fish.
Oh, oh, oh,
Menace to Society.
Tell the truth!
It's not even in that.
Yeah.
It's like,
is this some part of the game
I don't understand?
Well,
I think my favorite
is probably the one
you just,
Confidence, right?
Is that what it's called?
Or,
it's not Confidence.
Focus. Focus, yeah, where he's a con man, right? Is that what it's called? It's not Confidence. Focus.
Focus, yeah.
He's a con man, right?
Come on, Carlos.
Pay attention.
That's your favorite? I don't really like Will Smith, to be honest.
I think Will Smith, I'm going to throw this out there.
I think he's the best actor who's not in too many things that are great.
I mean, I've already, sadly already said that about
Denzel Washington as well.
I think that they're both amazing.
Obviously, Denzel's the greatest
actor of all time, period.
But they're both amazing
actors and very charismatic, but
sort of are just kind of stuck in a
rut of not being able to do
anything interesting. Even when
he does something interesting like Concussion,
you're kind of watching the performance too much
and not really...
Yeah, that was a good part.
You can't get into the movie because of his accent
through the whole thing.
It just makes you kind of go,
well, he's doing a good job.
It's realistic.
Yeah, it's weird to watch a movie...
But it's also like, that's Will Smith talking funny.
Yeah, that's what you...
That's just Will.
He's too famous.
Kind of. But, you's legit. It's just Will. He's too famous. Kind of.
But you know,
some people can get,
it just,
it's just different.
Some people are more
character actory
and they're different
every time you see them.
And in the case
of Will Smith,
he has to be the star
of the movie
so that you can only
be so much of a character.
He should take,
I mean,
I know he tried to take
a smaller part
in that after birth thing with his kid. Like, he's not in that one a character. He should take... I mean, I know he tried to take a smaller part in that after-birth thing with his
kid.
Like, he's not in that one a lot.
He was such a bummer in that. And he was also, like, a small
part as the devil in that
movie with Colin Farrell.
The Recruiter. Winter's Tale.
Winter's Tale. Yeah.
He played the devil in that movie?
What? Yeah. But, you know, so he's trying.
He's trying to do some different things.
Good for him, I say.
I think he's a really good actor.
What about you, Jeff?
Do you have a favorite Will Smith?
Enemy of the state.
Tell the truth!
All right, now it's the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin.
It's time to get serious. People made some name tags. Lots of people made name tags.
So I want you guys to do a really good job of inspecting and surveying the entire room and pick out who you want to play for. And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
We're back.
Jeff, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Sierra, married and
ax murderer. Yeah, I talked about that sign
at the top of the show because it looks like
it has a real ax, but she told
me it's made of foam
and not to worry about it.
She said, don't worry about it, you little bitch.
Whoa.
I was like, okay, I won't then.
Mostly it was just so I could strike up a conversation
to find out if this was just a fun, clever name tag
or like a, help me, my husband is an axe murderer.
Are you here with your husband?
I'm not.
Do you have a husband?
Do you know any axe murderers?
Someone's sister was there? Someone's sister.
Ma'am, are you okay?
Wait, is that because it was
the girl's sister in the movie?
Spoiler alert.
This girl's fun.
I like Sierra.
Alright,
well, good job.
I'm glad you made that connection
people love that movie
I'm not much of a fan of it but a lot of people love it
if you could have seen it when you were 15
that's how you love it
there's plenty of movies I saw
when I was 15 that I hated
like being 15 doesn't make you an abject dummy
okay if you could have seen it when I was 15,
that's what I meant to say.
If you could have been me when I was 15
and seen this movie.
Yeah, no, we all have them.
We all have ones that are like, they totally don't hold up,
but we still love them.
Or they do hold up because they were great
in the first place.
And that's what, when people say,
they make the excuse, like excuse like well it's for kids
I'm like yeah
so was Toy Story
and
The Incredibles
and you know
you can name a ton of movies
that were for kids
but they're still great movies
it's not a reason
to make it stupid
just because it's for kids
yeah Jeff
I'm glad I finally
confronted you about this
first of all
tell the truth.
And secondly, I like that movie.
I like this movie.
I had the soundtrack.
His feelings are hurt.
Can't you tell?
What songs are on there?
Did they buy some famous songs?
They had that cool-ass big audio Dynamite song.
They had Brother from the Toad the West
Rocket song.
Brother was on it.
Two versions of
what the fuck is that song?
There She Goes.
Two different bands
doing that song.
There She Goes.
Like a male vocal
and a female vocal?
I don't even remember.
One was called
The Boo Radleys
and that's a fun name
for a band.
There's a kick ass
What was the other one called?
Sixpence None the Richer?
No, this was years before they did that song
but same kind of voice
oh the Sundays maybe
I don't remember
the la la la's
that's a girl
it's a good soundtrack
it's got cool songs on the soundtrack
it's got those two
cool poems the Mike Myers
Harriet Harriet It's got cool songs on the soundtrack. It's got those two fucking cool poems that Mike Myers...
Harriet.
Harriet.
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.
Well, this has been one of my more regrettable
follow-up questions.
Whoa, man.
Whoa.
I didn't know we were going to learn so much
about the So I Married an Axe Murderer soundtrack.
Phil Hartman's in it.
Very funny.
The dad is the funny part, too.
That dude's fucking hilarious.
When he plays the dad, right?
He plays his own dad?
Mark Myers plays his own dad.
Yeah, also it was Mike Myers' first foray into being everybody in the movie.
Yeah, it's called the beginning of the downhill slide.
Yeah, but the beginning of it means he's still at the top of the mountain.
That's where it peaked.
If you say so.
Kevin, who's that big sign?
You said already during the break.
Well, because I just said that Independence Day
was my favorite Will Smith movie,
and then I saw this, and I thought, how appropriate.
This says the question of what my favorite Will Smith movie, and then I saw this, and I thought, how appropriate. This says, the question of what my favorite Will Smith movie has been answered.
And at first I thought it said, In Decadence Day,
but it says, In the Candace Day.
Candace Day.
Right?
So I'm playing for Candace!
All right, Candace.
Carlos, what do you got there?
It's a cute one.
Yeah, it's a cute little one.
It's Inez, What You Did Last Summer.
So it's like...
What are you waiting for?
Yeah, and Inez's face is in there,
and my face.
Yeah, you're Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Yeah, I am.
You have a nice rack.
I can spin around and yell at the heavens
in a hoodie in the rain.
She gets really mad at one point.
She's like, come and get it.
All right, well good job.
And it's got a shithead on the back and everything.
So this is all gonna come together.
And thank you to everyone who brought name tags.
It's always difficult when...
I don't tell the guests what to do,
what kind of name tags to pick,
so they always let everybody down.
Except for three people.
The first game we're going to play tonight
is called Cable Billing,
a.k.a.
Calm Castaway.
And this is the movie where
I mean the game where
Kevin you're familiar with like how
Cable companies and
Movie rental places and stuff
They'll just pick the most random
Names to say when there's
To associate with a movie
They'll just put two weird names there
And not clearly the leads of the film
And you know
it's like if you were talking about the movie
Say Anything and it said
if it said Eric Stoltz
and the guy who
plays Ari on
Jeremy Pippen
if it said Jeremy Pippen and Eric Stoltz
Say Anything you'd be like what?
somebody could be like well they're both in it
and you'd be like yeah that's true
so they fuck it up a lot of times and it's very amusing and some people send them to me You'd be like, what? Somebody could be like, well, they're both in it. And you'd be like, yeah, that's true.
So they fuck it up a lot of times, and it's very amusing.
And some people send them to me.
They send screen grabs of them to me from their own cable companies.
So I'm just going to say the names of two actors that are in a movie where they probably shouldn't have gotten the full top billing
from the cable company.
And then the first person on this stage
who can name the correct movie
is the winner, yeah.
Okay.
And I'll give you some clues
if nobody comes up with it.
And you can guess as many times as you want.
It's just the first person to say the right one.
What movie does my cable company think
stars William Forsythe and Michael Biehn?
The Rock. That is correct. Whoa. stars William Forsyth and Michael Biehn?
The Rock. That is correct.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Shit.
I'm a big fan of any movie that Alcatraz is in,
such as So I Married an Axe Murderer and The Rock.
He said, the blueprint was in my head.
Yeah, yeah.
Looks like you're caught
between a rock and a hard case.
Rollback, you son of a bitch.
It's basically step one
of a Bane impression.
It's doing Sean Connery in The Rock.
Or in The Untouchables.
I like when he goes,
you're best, you're best.
Like, best, you're best.
You're best, go fuck the prom queen.
Carla was the prom queen.
Yeah.
That's what's up.
Yeah.
You guys lost me.
I don't know what's happening.
We just did both parts.
All right, so Jeff won that one.
And The Rock I'm excited about
because it's from 1996
and directed by Michael Bay, of course,
before he got extra spazzy.
And I'm going to be doing
an interruption of it
at the Castro Theater
in San Francisco next August. What? So I think it's never too early to start talking that up because that's going to be doing an interruption of it at the Castro Theater in San Francisco next August.
What?
So I think it's never too early to start talking that up
because that's going to be a fun event.
Holy shit.
Can I buy tickets?
Yeah.
Well, not yet, but I'll let you know when they go on sale, Jeff.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're going to be there, you might as well participate.
Okay, I'll be there.
That's the sort of thing I would invite you to do.
I fucking love The Rock so much. Well, I'll be there. That's the sort of thing I would invite you to do. I fucking love The Rock so much.
Well, it'll be
fun to watch it in San Francisco
because we can kind of imagine that the car chases
are going on right outside the building we're in.
Yeah. Like they might
even drive right by
at some point.
We could hear him. He had a Hummer and didn't understand how
car phones worked.
Okay.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
Oh, we weren't going to do another one?
Just the one-off?
And exciting new wrinkle to this game.
You each get to use one lifeline
if you can't come up with an answer.
And your lifeline is you get to ask the person
whose name tag you have in your possession.
The person you're playing for gets put on the hot seat
and has to come up with an answer when you need it.
Whenever you need it.
But you can only go to it once and they're under the
same obligation to come up with the
exact correct title
so they could in fact just
bring you all down.
If you could do it on your own, that's what I
recommend.
Does this guy have a question?
We have a question on the floor over here.
What the fuck is happening?
At least he didn't shout.
He's like raising his hand
because he needs to get out of here
because he's got an early tea time tomorrow.
He's got to go sell newspapers in the 20s.
Yeah, he's a newspaper kid in a tough part of town.
He's all tatted up and selling newspapers.
Look at him.
He's like, headlines don't sell papers,
newsies sell papers, all right?
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, so I pre-picked somebody already,
so he's raising his hand
because he wanted to suggest a name for us to use.
Because we're going to get an actor or actress
from a person in the audience,
hopefully a person in the audience tonight,
and we'll take turns.
I like to play along on this one,
so we'll take turns saying movies that that person was in.
And Jeff gets to start us off,
and then we'll go to Kevin, Carlos, me.
And where is Hans underscore Bricks 14?
That's you right over here.
Wow, she got the fuck up.
How's it going?
Where are you going?
That's my roommate.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Wow, she's losing her shit.
I know.
She's just freaked the fuck out.
She's like, they're going to talk to us?
She thought she was on the fucking Price is Right or something.
She got very excited.
But she wasn't even the one who got picked.
I know, exactly.
She was like next to the person who got picked.
And nobody's going to win anything, really.
Don't apologize she's just excited you guys
come on
I keep punching you in the face
because I'm so excited
if my name sucks
it's gonna be a total letdown
at this point
oh my god
okay
fucking Rilo Kan over there
Kylo Ren's cousin a total wet down at this point. Oh my God. Okay. Fucking Rilo Kan over there.
Kylo Ren's cousin.
Rilo.
Rilo Kan and Leia Barbie.
Right?
Isn't that how that works?
Thank you.
I tried. All right, dude. What do you got for us? Isn't that how that works? Thank you. I tried.
All right, dude, what do you got for us?
Rosario Dawson.
Rosario Dawson.
Well, that's a slam dunk.
That's the name of the century.
Get ready, lifelines.
Because we're going to be using you.
I mean, I know she's been in a lot of movies,
but I'm already blanking.
I'm already blanking on this shit.
Do we really have to play Rosario Dawson? I want to give it a try.
Okay.
You can start us off, Jeff.
You got one.
And don't yell out any from the audience just yet.
You'll get your chance at the end.
Unstoppable.
Yeah, of course.
One of the best.
If not the best.
Rosario Dawson vehicles.
The title's a lie,
of course.
What?
It's totally stoppable.
Yeah, yeah, they stopped it.
The whole thing.
It should have been called difficult to stop.
But possible.
We might not be able to stop this thing.
In time.
It'll stop on its own eventually.
Three.
Gosh, this chain is moving really fast.
Kids.
Kids, yeah.
Going way back.
I took mine.
Going back to the early days.
That's the one you had ready to go, Carlos?
Yeah, so I'll go to my second one.
Josie and the Pussycats?
Yeah.
Wow, kids and Josie and the Pussycats
are your two that you go to.
You said Rosario Dawson. I'm like, where the fuck did she...
What's horrible?
What's horrible?
This is going to be a fucking tricky one.
But I'm going to go with rent.
Oh.
Okay.
I'll see you.
You go ahead and do that, baby.
Jeff.
Clerks 2.
Oh, nice.
Good.
I will say He Got Game.
Who what?
He Got Game.
Don't act like I'm fucking crazy.
Put the motherfucking movie on.
He Got Game.
Take it easy, dude.
What the...
What?
The 25th hour?
Some lady just said, light skin.
That's what I thought I heard.
Yeah.
All right, well...
We'll just table that for later.
What do you got, Carlos?
I said the 25th hour.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. She's like, all right. I'll see got, Carlos? I said the 25th hour. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
She's like, all right.
I'll see you, okay?
Fuck.
She was in Oliver Stone's Alexander, right?
Yep.
Oh, we can ask the crowd?
No.
Oh.
I was going for immediate verification on top of my...
That is my answer.
If they'd have said, no, she's not in it,
then I would have been out.
I wouldn't have gone,
okay, let me think of another one.
Was she in? No?
Okay, how about this one?
Jeff.
You don't know?
You can't ask her ahead of time if she's got one or not.
What?
Your lifeline.
Wait, I thought she would tell me the answer and then I would be like...
She could, but you have to say, I need to use my lifeline and then she'll tell you.
You can't just find out she's not going to be able to help.
But is it like who wants to be a millionaire when if she's like, Star Wars, and I'm like, that's wrong.
And then I guess something else?
Or is what she says my guess?
I need my lifeline.
You could disregard her answer.
A Knight's Tale.
No, that was Shannon Sossaman.
A Knight's Tale is what she said
and I don't agree.
Nice try.
Very nice try.
But no.
Kevin, do you want to use your lifeline?
Nope.
Oh, shit.
I will say Sin City 2.
Oh, okay.
A Dame to Kill For.
All right, all right.
Carlos.
Full title, please.
I said it.
Oh, yeah, yeah. There is more words to it. Sin City 2, A Dame to Kill For Full title, please. I said it. Oh, yeah, yeah.
There is more words to it.
Sin City 2, a dame to kill for.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, cool.
That's it, right?
I didn't even know there was...
That's like you got really close to the hole on the drive,
and then you just put it right in the cup by blowing on it.
Carlos?
I'll just go Sin City.
Right?
She should have been in that.
Alright, this one I'm going to need confirmation on
because it was an indie movie that I kind of saw
because I heard she was naked in it.
But it was boring, so I didn't really...
I don't know if I saw all the parts I wanted to see,
so to speak.
Was it called Trance?
Yay!
I'm still in it.
Jeff is out.
Kevin,
you want to use your lifeline?
I will use a lifeline!
Candice,
what do you got? What your lifeline? I will use a lifeline! Candice. Candice, what do you got?
Seven pounds.
Fuck, of course.
Seven pounds.
Seven pounds.
That actually might be my favorite Will Smith movie.
I like the sequel with Josh Hartnett.
It's 11 pounds.
Carlos, do you have another one, or do you want to use your lifeline?
I got one. Top five.
Oh, yeah.
What?
I just pulled that out the ass.
You know what my favorite American tale movie is?
What?
Top Five-le.
All right, let me think for a second.
It's somewhere out there.
She's got a big smile, and she's a nice lady,
and she's funny sometimes, and has a good sense of humor.
And I'm out.
Kevin, do you have another one?
I'm going to say Grindhouse.
That's Michelle Rodriguez.
That's Michelle Rodriguez.
No, she's in it.
She's in it, but which part?
Well, the movie is Grindhouse.
Yeah, I guess she's technically in Grindhouse.
Technically, the movie is Grindhouse. But which part was she's technically in Grindhouse. Technically, the movie is Grindhouse.
But which part was she in?
She was in the part with the car.
I don't remember what it fucking called.
It was the part with the car with Zoe Bell.
Yeah, no, that's okay.
Grindhouse covers it.
Yeah, Grindhouse is the name of the movie.
It was released as a whole thing.
Well, then I'll name the specific movie.
That won't be extra.
I'd still like you to say it, though,
just to get it out there.
Death Proof?
Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you have one more that she was in?
I got one, A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints.
It's with Robert Downey Jr.
and all those guys.
I say yes.
I don't even care at this point.
Holy shit. Yeah. He knows it's care at this point. Holy shit.
Yeah.
He knows it's Rosario Dawson.
Well, I am Mexican, so.
Yeah.
The only way you would have done better
if we were doing the films of Morrissey.
Wow.
It's Mexican versus light skin.
Do you got another one?
Come on, man.
Right?
So tough.
I don't.
I'm out.
All right, Carlos is our winner.
But here's the painful part
where you find out the obvious things
that we overlooked.
What did we miss, you guys?
Men in Black 2.
Give Me Shelter?
Zookeeper?
I said Alexander.
She was in the...
The Rundown.
The fucking Rundown.
The Rundown. I liked thatundown. The Rundown.
I like that movie, too.
I knew all those.
I knew them all.
She was in that Ed Burns movie about New York.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash.
How would anybody know that?
I loved your voice saying that, too.
Yeah.
It's like the guy at the end of the trailer.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash.
Rated R.
Now I'm a movie phone guy.
What?
The first 20 million is the hardest?
I don't know.
I've never heard of that.
Yeah.
I think it did well.
I didn't hear of it so yeah
so we did pretty good though
usually there's a lot more
yelling at the end
of ones we missed
badass
what's that
with Danny Trejo
and Danny
Danny Trejo
Danny Glover
remember that YouTube clip
where the dude beat a guy
up on the bus
the old guy did it
nuh uh
they made a movie they made a movie based on that YouTube clip where the dude beat a guy up on the bus, the old guy did it? Nuh-uh. They made a movie based on that YouTube clip, apparently.
Rosario must have been the voice in a cartoon at some point.
No, she ran a taco truck.
Oh, shit.
In what cartoon was there a taco truck?
Lego movie, really?
No.
Batgirl in Lego movie?
He might be right.
I bet she is.
When a guy's that specific,
he's had it out to that sequence.
All right, let's play reverse malting, you guys.
It's a game people are growing to love.
Just kidding there.
Carlos won our last game, so he gets to go first,
and then we'll change the order up. We'll go to
Kevin and then to JF.
And Carlos gets to pick
a category.
Or, I mean, a film,
actually. He gets to pick between three
movies as soon as
I dial it up on my phone
in my dead
Molten app. Which
one of these three films
do you think you know the most
actors who appeared
in it
you guys are alright over there
they're working out their bill over there
she's excited about the bill
she jumps up and runs away from the table.
Well, now she's just taken off.
She pleasantly said goodbye this time.
Pardon me.
No, I...
That's the way we're...
Where are you going?
You don't have to leave your table to pay the bill.
Oh, you're right here.
Okay, that's good to know.
We see you.
Ladies and gentlemen, Amy Adams.
Which one of these do you know the most actors from?
Hard Rain,
Singing in the Rain,
or Purple Rain? Damn. from? Hard rain, singing in the rain, or purple
rain?
Damn.
Yeah, I know. That's not a good...
And we're in a drought.
Good options.
But this is where a strategy can come into play.
Because you can pick a movie where you think you know
the top-billed person, but maybe
the person sitting next to you doesn't know more
beyond that, and you could just say that movie
and then bid one name.
That sort of thing.
And so if it's Hard Rain, Singing in the Rain, and
Purple Rain,
then I'm going to go with
Hard Rain.
Interesting choice.
Alright, Leonard lists
nine names
from the movie Hard Rain.
How many do you think you can name, Carlos?
I think I can name four.
Whoa!
I mean three.
You guys scared me from it.
You really want to go with three?
Yeah, I'll go with three.
I'll go with three.
He's saying three names, Kevin Avery, from Hard Rain.
And it's from the bottom.
A movie many people in this room are having trouble even recollecting.
Yeah, I know.
It's like it's just as realistic to them as 20 million...
What was that called?
Rosario Dawson in 20 million dollars.
20 million leagues under the sea. How to in 20 million dollars ain't that much
20 million
leagues under the sea
how to make
20 million dollars
first 20 million dollars
gets you the wetest
what is that about
what do you think Kevin
can you name more
than three people
in hard rain
should I
you can hope that Carlos
will get it wrong, then you'll get the point.
Shall I say name it? You know, you can.
It's an option that you have.
Yeah, name it.
Alright, so you gotta name three people.
Doesn't matter what order, but they all have to be in it
according to Leonard Maltin.
I was bluffing!
Nine names you listed.
I'm gonna go Christian Slater
and then Morgan Freeman.
Oh, fuck.
No, you know what?
I was thinking of a totally different movie.
Were you thinking of Black Rain?
I was thinking of Black Rain.
So racist.
Now I'm thinking of Black Rain.
I'm light-skinned.
Does Hard Rain have the lead as a black person,
but Black Rain, the lead as a white person?
I never thought of that before.
I'm trying to mix it up.
It's called diversity, Doug.
Yeah.
What's your third one?
Third one?
Ah, shit.
Who's the...
You might pick up a point, Kevin.
I was like, who was the sheriff?
I'm going to say Ed Harris.
No.
Oh, okay.
Betty White's in it.
Ed Asner's in it.
Randy Quaid, Ed Asner.
That's who it was, Randy Quaid.
Richard Dysart, Minnie Driver.
Yeah, so Kevin gets the point.
Boom.
You did it, Kevin.
I don't remember that movie.
It was all about a hard rain.
Yeah. The whole town got a hard rain. Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
The whole town got flooded.
The heist.
And because of this,
I remember that shit.
I saw it in the theater.
Me too, dude.
Yeah.
I like it.
No, I enjoyed it.
I'm an idiot, though.
Do you want to watch it later?
It's on my computer.
You do have it?
Yeah, I bought it.
Sometimes you want to watch it. You guys might have a hard rain party tonight.
I was going to save it for tomorrow.
I got to do something while I'm eating the rest of this yogurt.
New Year's Eve.
Let's go.
Still down there.
Still going strong.
Jeff gets to go first in this next round.
And then it's going to come at you, Kevin.
So you'll be second after Jeff picks a movie.
Okay.
From these three options.
Would you like...
a view to a kill,
a room with a view,
or view from the top?
Which one of those?
Jeff Tate.
Do you know the most actors in?
A view from the top.
Alright.
The audience likes your choice.
Leonard lists a mere seven names.
I bid two.
He says he can name two people from the motion picture view from the top, Kevin.
I can do three.
He says he can do three names, Carlos.
A view from the top. That's the one with the
no, I'm playing.
I'm going to say name it
because no.
I guess I'm not
anymore
I just ran back to the room
and said that
no don't do it
he's like you're playing
for my fucking name tag
you better say yeah
what no
what were you saying
you gotta name it
in six names
he's saying name it
in six
he says you get you bid three names.
You have to name three people
that were in View from the Top.
What is that movie about again?
It's a porno.
POV from the Top.
It's about a hard rain.
It's about a hard rain. It's about a hard rain.
Christian Slater, a storm.
Bags of money.
I got nothing.
Are you for real? I was bluffing.
I don't remember the fucking number.
You have a bid two?
Yeah, I bid two.
So if you had to answer your two, what would you have said?
Cameron Diaz and Mike Myers?
No.
Oh, Mike Myers is correct, but it wasn't Cameron Diaz.
Christina Applegate and Mike Myers?
Christina Applegate was in there, but the lead...
Was Amy Adams.
How dare you?
Morgan Freeman?
No, it was Gwyneth Paltrow.
Yeah, that's who I meant.
Mark Ruffalo was in there.
Candice Bergen, Kelly Preston, Rob Lowe, and Mike Myers.
Is it terrible?
Why are all those good people in it?
Leonard only gives it two stars.
I didn't care for it.
Some people liked it.
It's got a nice cast.
It's okay, dude. No one saw it.
It was about flight attendants.
Oh, right.
I remember that shit.
Denzel Washington is the pilot.
Oh, yeah.
You don't remember that one?
He flies it upside down.
The flight attendants get all fucked up and topsy-turvy.
Yeah, it's about a flight attendant that has sex with Denzel Washington
and he gets her killed in a crash.
Exactly.
I thought that movie Flight was based on a true story
when I first saw it.
And then when I found out it was fake, I hated it.
All right. saw it. And then when I found out it was fake, I hated it. Alright, so that means that
Carlos
just got a point.
We're playing to two points.
Jeff is the only one who's pointless, but he
gets to start us off again.
Hey, I feel like pointless could be better said.
When everything Jeff does is pointless.
If we're playing at two points,
then I won.
Yeah?
What?
If we played at two points, then I won.
No, Kevin got a point earlier.
But I just got one in Rosaria Dawson as well.
I killed that game.
Wait, what happened?
No, that's a different game.
It's a different game.
Oh, at two points in this game.
Yeah.
Oh, we're in a different match.
Yeah.
All right. I was trying to win you something. You got me, we're in a different match. Yeah. All right.
I was trying to win you something.
You have me worried
that something happened
I didn't know about.
Because I'll give the point
to the wrong person sometimes.
Like right now,
Jeff might get a point.
He doesn't deserve it.
No, but I get to pick
the next category.
You get to pick, yeah.
Quit waving that spoon at me.
It's my horcrux.
I'm tired of you.
Yeah.
I heard that word for the
very first time last night
in the smoke section,
and I don't know what it means,
but it got a laugh.
Well, don't let anyone break it.
Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't know anyone break it. Maybe I should.
Maybe I shouldn't.
I don't know
what a horcrux is.
It's what...
It's a vagene.
You'll lose your power.
It's what Linda Blair
masturbates with
in The Exorcist.
Oh, okay, yeah.
No, then you know what?
This is my horcrux.
I accidentally used it correctly.
Jesus.
All right, Jeff gets to pick this time,
and then it's going to go to Kevin,
and there's a lot on the line here,
because Jeff needs to go to make a three.
It went to Kevin last time. Right, but it's going the opposite direction, And there's a lot on the line here because Jeff... It should go to Carlos. Why?
It went to Kevin last time.
Right, but it's going the opposite direction because Carlos...
Who challenged who there?
Carlos challenged Kevin.
Oh, you're right, so it should go to Carlos.
Yes, but I got very nervous.
You could talk me out of it very easily right now.
Yeah, no, that's why we have to have
these open discussions as adults.
We need to talk about Kevin.
Yeah.
Love that movie.
It's the name of a movie.
I know.
Jeff picks, then we go to Carlos.
And Jeff gets to choose between these three titles.
The World's Greatest Dad. The world's greatest dad.
The world's greatest athlete.
And the world is not enough.
Shit.
Which one of those, Jeff?
Wait.
Wait.
Jeff gets a pick
and then it goes to Carlos.
I'm going to go with world's greatest athlete.
Huh?
World's greatest athlete.
Okay.
I'm just struggling with Carlos' reaction there.
You just got done saying, you're like, okay, Carlos, you get to pick,
and then you named the three, and then you said Jeff, and then this guy done saying, you're like, okay, Carlos, you get to pick and then you named the three
and then you said Jeff
and then this guy
was like,
I was like, all right.
I think I said Jeff gets to pick
and then it's coming to you, Carlos.
Like you're second
after Jeff picks.
I don't know.
I looked at him.
Fuck you.
You in the crowd.
It's all good, but if Jeff gets to pick
and then you'll be next.
And he picked World's Greatest
Athlete, and Leonard
Maltin lists six people
in that motion picture. I bid
one. And Jeff says
one name, Carlos. I say
name it. He says
name it. That's what I was banking
on.
So you're just going to say the name, I mean. Yeah, J. Michael
Vincent? Yes,
he plays the world's greatest athlete.
Now we have a three-way tie.
Yes.
Not a two-way tie, which is popular
in the future of Back to the Future Part 2.
All right, for the tiebreaker,
we do a movie that's been predetermined by me well in advance.
But the one I picked, it's kind of a funny coincidence, I think.
So who challenged who there?
Carlos challenged me.
Carlos challenged you.
So Kevin gets to start, and then we go to Carlos.
Below right.
Ready, Carlos?
Okay.
Kevin gets to pick.
You hear that?
You keep tally.
Are you ready, Carlos?
You just told this man, fuck you, and now you're partnering up again?
What kind of buddy cop romance?
I'm Mexican. I can do that shit.
Oh.
Okay. Sir, are you Mexican? Okay. I don't know Okay
Sir are you Mexican?
Okay
Sure
No I
Well you got one
So I wanted one too
No they would be
They would be friends
Like in Veronica Mars
Dear Punchline Comedy Club,
what a great year it's been.
I'm so excited for your big New Year's Eve shows
tomorrow night with Oongai Obelum.
But in the meantime,
could I get a fresh vodka and soda water on the stage?
They don't have Tito's here.
Be cool.
The film, Kevin, is a motion picture called Wayne's World.
And Leonard lists 11 names
from the cast of Wayne's World from 1992.
How many names for the win?
Thank you so much.
How many names do you think you can get that in?
Four.
He says he can name four of the people that participated in the cast,
according to Leonard Maltin, out of his 11.
Oh, me now?
Me or no?
What did I say right before this round started?
I tried to warn you.
What did he say?
It's me.
It's you.
It's your turn.
Then five.
I'll name it in five.
He says he could name five people from Wayne's world.
Not in any order.
Seven.
Don't worry about that.
I go seven.
This has to be five.
Wait, what happened?
I go seven.
Seven.
If you get seven right,
we're taking you outside and burning you as a witch.
That's good.
2015 was a good year.
I could go out like that.
If I was a witch, I would put that fire out.
With my horcrux.
That's not how horcruxes work.
I'm going to say...
Name it.
Alright, so you've got to name seven out of eleven people that were in this movie.
We're not going to say whether he's got them right or wrong until he's said seven names.
Grip that spoon tight.
Use your magic spoon.
Oh!
Oh!
Okay.
Mike Myers,
Dana Carvey,
Laura Flynn Boyle,
Brian Doyle Murray,
Ed O'Neill,
Rob Lowe,
and Kurt Fuller.
Those are all correct.
Damn.
Jeff Tate is our winner.
Was Meatloaf billed?
Or Tia Carrere?
Tia Carrere was in there, yeah.
Was Meatloaf billed?
Yeah, Meatloaf got in there.
Donna Dixon.
So I could have gone nine.
I forgot about Donna Dixon.
Yeah, you really know your Wayne's World.
I had no idea.
That's pretty impressive.
Shwing.
Was everybody expecting Tia Carrere and somehow Kurt Fuller?
The fact that I knew Kurt Fuller.
Kurt Fuller was on psych.
Kurt Fuller's been in a ton of stuff.
I think he's hilarious.
He's in Ghostbusters 2.
Yep.
All right. So that means that Jeff's our winner,
and Sierra gets all the prizes.
Come get your prizes.
Yeah.
We've got a couple of bags of prizes.
There's another one there.
There you go, Sierra.
Congratulations.
I want my fro-yo now. Or you go, Sierra. Congratulations. I want my
fro-yo now.
Not fro-yo. What the fuck?
Gentlemen, pass me your
name tags because they have shitheads on
the back that I'm going to read as a
consolation.
There we go.
Does this one have it on the back?
It's very light.
Oh, I see.
Wait, what?
Really?
Okay.
I know.
All right.
If you say so.
Our big winner, Jeff Tate.
What do you got to plug, buddy?
I am at Go Bananas Comedy Club with Emma Arnold, January 7th through 10th, I think are the dates.
Yeah.
7th through 10th.
Then I'm in Seattle at the Comedy Underground. 14 through 17.
The weekend after that.
Albuquerque.
Tucson.
There's a bunch of shit coming up.
Justanotherclown.com.
And speakersilence.org is an organization that I like.
It's a nonprofit that provides counseling for the adult survivors of child sex abuse.
So if you need someone to talk to,
hit them up.
They will find a counselor in your neighborhood for free.
Pro bono.
While you're at it,
check out the film's spotlight and Call Me Lucky are both two terrific movies that happened to come out this year
that are very much against adults touching children, which is a strong stance to come out this year that are both very, they're very much against adults touching children.
Yeah, yeah.
Which is a strong stance to take
in this world where
there's plenty of Republicans
who think it's okay.
Yeah.
I feel like,
I feel like both of those movies
should win Oscars.
Like, Call Me Lucky
should be the best documentary
and Spotlight was an amazing
fucking movie.
Yeah, they're both good.
They're both,
they're not feel-good movies.
Nope.
They're bad feeler movies.
Yeah, where's that noise when I need it?
Did I say that Go Bananas was in Cincinnati?
Did I say Go Bananas was in Cincinnati?
You may have.
I think you might have.
It is, right?
It is, yeah.
Just in case.
All right.
You always have to plug more after I've moved on.
Kevin.
I'll be in the parking lot eating this pink berry.
But thank you, Kevin.
You can listen to my podcast.
It's all about Denzel Washington.
And it's called
Denzel Washington is the greatest actor of all time, period.
And you can check that out.
And I don't know.
Yeah, that's all I got.
That's enough.
Watch Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.
Yeah, congrats on your Emmy nomination.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Thanks. Congrats on your Emmy nomination. Thank you.
What do you think of our first time guest,
Carlos Rodriguez?
Great job.
Where can people see you?
What do you got going on with your stand-up around town and outside the town?
Tomorrow I'm here at the New Year's Eve show,
the last show at 10 o'clock,
and then I'll be back here the 27th of January
and then at Rancho Rio Casino in Lake County.
So that's where you can catch me.
Don't worry about when.
Just go there.
Oh, shit.
January 30th.
Oh, January 30th.
Oh, yeah.
And all the dates dates all the other dates
I can't remember
most of them right now
but go to
at Carlos
at Carlos Comedy
on Twitter
and Instagram
and everything else.
Your name on Twitter
is Carlos Comedy?
Yeah.
Okay cool.
I'm shocked
that you got that.
I was too.
Because I'm Mexican.
Did you steal that
from Carlos Mencia?
Got him!
What, being Mexican?
Yeah.
It was supposed to only be his hook,
and then all these other guys came along.
Well, he stole it from people who are Mexican.
Excellent point, Jeff.
No more talking now.
If you want to put a hash,
you don't have to run off.
Don't forget, it's JeffTate23 on Twitter.
96!
Oh, I guess you have to come back and get a microphone
to say that it's not JeffTate49.
It's not JeffTate98.
It's JeffTate96.
JeffTate96 on Twitter.
And Doug Benson on Twitter, of course.
And thank you to everybody
who came out to the show
and to the Sacramento Punchline.
It's the perfect place to be
during the holiday taint.
And as always,
adverbs are a shithead.
And people who cut you off
but then end up
at the same stoplight
as you are a shithead.
I'm Ez.
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies