Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Sean Jordan and Gabe Dylan guest
Episode Date: May 9, 2016Live from the Comedy Works in Denver, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Sean Jordan and Gabe Dylan to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https...://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy rounders,
sweet and stinky,
he quips if he ever wants to
go to the dentist.
He won't see a lot more than he won't see
the Doug loves cookies. Hey, hey, hey everybody.
Hey, hey, hey everybody.
My name is Doug and I love mothers.
This is How I Love Mothers.
You guys know what's going on.
You know what day it is.
I'm so anal about arranging the chairs on this show
because I want everybody in the audience
to be able to see every guest,
and there's some weird sight lines in here.
So I apologize if anybody's missing anybody.
You can listen to it later.
It's still not know what they look like.
Why did I...
Like, if you murder somebody here,
can you blame the altitude?
Like, is it a catch-all blame for everything?
We're coming to you once again
from Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado!
It's just not going to be perfect.
I have to live with it.
Still keep trying to move things around.
This is our third annual Mother's Day Doug Loves Movies
here in Denver.
Yeah.
So show me your mother grabbing
name tags, you guys.
Let's see what you got.
Oh, boy.
Never let me
down
here in Denver.
There's a BB Nate out there.
And he used an 8
and an N for Nate.
Very clever.
Tommy Boy.
Tony Boy.
And it's on a t-shirt?
I've never seen a t-shirt name tag before.
What's this Lady and the Tramp thing
with all the snacks on it?
Stacy and the Tramp.
You know dogs shouldn't eat chocolate?
Come on, Stacy.
Spark Man, your last name is Spark?
Sparkman?
Oh, it is.
You changed your name to Spark Man
because that Spark Man is his name.
The Jimitation Game. That's a good
one. And also, it looks
like you know who one of the other guests is.
I don't know how that leaked.
Justinator Genesis.
Very colorful and large.
Good luck to
you.
What's that thing right there?
Yeah, you know who you are. What's that thing right there? Yeah, you know who you are.
What's that thing with all the
like, it looks like something
somebody would have had on their head yesterday at the
Kentucky Derby.
What is that?
It's a mask.
And then your name on top
of it? Eyes Wide Sean.
Eyes Wide Sean.
And that's the way the lighting is.
I couldn't tell, but now I can see it. It's an eyes
wide shut kind of mask.
And I'd like you to find
someone to disrobe and wear it.
Because that's all they
wore in that movie.
I see a weed themed one
over there. That might work on one of my guests.
Or two
of them. We'll see.
We'll see what happens.
Thanks you guys for bringing those, great job.
Time for Doug plugs.
Tickets are still available tonight
for the Throw Mama from the Train interruption
out in Littleton at the Alamo Drafthouse.
Who's going to that?
Some of you are going?
I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.
I just think it wasn't a fast seller
because I think a lot of people are like,
wasn't that movie just funny enough?
I mean, isn't it a funny movie?
Or maybe it's old enough
that people just don't even think of it
as like, you know what I mean?
Something that they'd want to see.
I should have been promoting it as Danny DeVito
from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
And Billy Crystal from Monsters, Inc.
All right, Monsters University.
So, I love that.
A little separate yay for Monsters University.
And I think there's also some some so there's tickets left for that
tonight if you want to run over there
like we're going to do after my
my alley sesh tonight
and then
you know we can smoke outside that place too
and then tickets there's some tickets left
for Getting Doug With High tomorrow night
at the Oriental Theater.
I knew some of you were going to that.
That's a lot more popular than the throw mama from the train interruption.
Boise, Idaho, I'll be doing Doug Lo's movies there for the first time next Sunday, May 15th at 4.20.
The first time next Sunday, May 15th at 4.20.
The next DLM in Los Angeles is Monday, May 16th at UCB on Sunset.
Oh, you guys, it's ridiculous.
I got shows coming up in St. Louis, Boston, New York City, Bloomington, Indiana.
We're breaking away.
It was shot.
Atlanta, Minneapolis, where Purple Rain was shot.
And more.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm going to challenge my audience to take a dip in Lake Minnetonka.
All right, so Apollonia takes all of her clothes.
He says, you've got to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
So I watched this movie five times the weekend after he passed.
I know, it was sad, but it was also, it felt good.
Like, it felt better than a funeral,
just watching that awesome movie over and over again.
But one scene I didn't like, I like it,
because Apollonia has to take her clothes off.
But, you know, he says,
you got to, you know, soak yourself in Lake Minnetonka.
And so she's like, all right.
Like, okay, that seems like a ritual I have to do.
But then why does she have to strip down all the wet,
like, she can wear her panties, but the bra can't get wet?
Does she have a special don't-get-it-wet bra?
Was her bra made of gremlins?
So she gets those boobies out,
and I don't know why I'm complaining about it.
And she jumps into Lake Minnetonka,
or so she thinks,
because then when she gets out,
after a couple of seconds, it's no big deal,
he's all, that's not Lake Minnetonka.
And she's like, oh, you,
shouldn't she be mad at him in the first place for insisting she jump in a cold lake for no reason?
No matter which one it is.
It's just me.
Oh, I got a couple more.
Oh, and more.
DouglasMovies.com to learn about all of my movements.
That's right.
I go on there every day with pictures of my movements. That's right. I go on there every day
with pictures of my stool.
My stuels.
From the corrections department,
the Ethan Hawke movies are called
Before Sunrise, Before Sunset,
and After Midnight.
For those of you that care.
Let's check out
the prize bag, you guys.
It, I dare say,
might be one of the best
prize bags we've ever had.
Because,
first of all,
these beauties.
They gave it to me
in my hotel.
You may or may not know that I'm off sugar,
so I'm not eating heinous anus cookies. And I'm also not giving their real name a plug.
I'm also not plugging this, but it's an awesome tiny tank top. It's got some booze on it. It's not a sponsor of the show. I'm tired of these free-ride-ers. A plastic bowl from a company I've mentioned plenty of times.
This is really neat.
It's a grinder from when I saw the band Dirty Heads
at the Fillmore out in Silver Spring, Maryland.
And it even says the date of the show.
It's sold out.
And it's like, I kept one for the...
Because this is what happened.
There was a bunch of them backstage.
And they were like,
you guys can have one if you want.
Or they just pointed them out to us.
Maybe they didn't even say we could have one.
But the band didn't pick, I don't think
they left with any of them. They seem
to not care. So
me and Trey Gallion, we scooped some up
and put them in prize bags. And one
of them is now on the set of
Getting Doug with High. So that's
in the bag today. And
a guidebook,
eat, shop, play, and stay
map and directory of
downtown Denver. I don't know.
Some of you guys
come from, you know,
make a weekend of it, so maybe you want to go
see some shit.
I don't know.
But also, the next
time, you can make a night
of it, because
this is a certificate
from our friends at Bud
and Breakfast.
Yeah. One night
stay in a
hotel that is 100%
smoke allowed.
I hope that piece of information was correct.
What if there's like a couple non-smoking rooms?
We still could sell those.
Yeah.
It expires at the end, 12-30-2016.
So you're in good shape.
Let me reread it just to make sure we're not all too excited.
Oh yeah, I should have read this.
It says you can sit around in the lobby for an hour.
I don't even know if they have a lobby.
No, it's one night stay at Denver's best Bud and Breakfast,
called Bud and Breakfast.
And I can't dispute the best claim because I haven't been to any.
They offered to let me go there,
but it just doesn't appeal to me.
I'd rather stay in a hotel
that doesn't allow you to smoke
and see if you can get away with it.
And two VHSs
from my personal collection.
When my bag goes through the x-ray
on these longer trips that I go on,
I wonder if they're just like,
is this guy a VHS smuggler?
We got...
an episode of Felicity
called Things Change,
so that's probably the fucking haircut episode.
The haircut that rocked the world.
And then Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Always gets a round of applause.
Only one of you is going to win
and you're not going to have a machine to play this in.
And the episode is called The Initiative.
Yeah, sounds like someone's going to take charge.
All of that is in the prize.
Wait!
Another one of these rubber pipes!
Because you guys, you need your sneaky pipes here in Colorado.
Very important to be stealthy here.
But it is pretty nice.
It's made out of all rubber
except for a little metal in the bowl,
and it gets the job done.
I've been using mine quite a bit
when I'm too lazy to make an apple.
All right, that's really it,
but really quickly,
a scene from...
I almost forgot what it's called.
American Beauty.
Come back here, you little star.
Please give a big, warm welcome
to my guests today.
Gabe Dillon, Sean Jordan,
and Jeff Tate.
Thank you. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Three return guests to the show, you guys.
These are some veterans.
Let's start with, you know him as the magic man on Getting Doug with High.
Gabe Dillon is here, everybody.
Thank you.
It's your second time on the show.
You were on an episode at Cobb's in San Francisco.
That's correct.
Yeah, and then you're here now.
And you've probably watched
every episode being taped in L.A.
except for one or two.
Pretty much.
Yeah, that's how we became friends
is you would not stop
coming to every
show. And we'd get
high after or before or both.
And
he would do magic tricks for
the other comedians and I would turn away.
And then that's when I got the great idea
for doing magic for
people who are stoned.
And now we're here.
Yeah, that's the whole story.
Thanks for coming, Gabe.
Speaking of...
But speaking of getting Doug with high,
what'd you bring for the prize bag, buddy?
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Do you have to open it up, or can we just tell him?
Well, I'm gonna save that for last.
Okay.
I brought this, like, a fancy deck of cards there. Don't just... You can hand the things to me. You don't just throw them? Well, I'm going to save that for last. Okay. I brought this, like, a fancy deck of cards there.
Don't just... You can hand
the things to me. You don't just throw them on the floor.
I brought a finger hand. I don't know how I'm not...
People love the tiny
finger hand.
Can I hand this to you?
It's so creepy.
It's so creepy! You is that? It's so creepy.
You could just have
five fingers on one finger.
Take that six-finger Tim
wherever you are.
There he is.
Six fingers?
He was tweeting.
Yeah, he's got six fingers
on each hand.
He was the winner of the prize bag
on the first Doug Loves Movies
on Mother's Day here at Comedy Works.
Six fingers on your hand?
Yeah, and he thought...
What?
My name is Inigo Montoy.
I'm pretty sure you are the one who killed my father.
Jeff, your father's still alive, and I'm introducing sure you are the one who killed my father. Jeff, your father's still alive,
and I'm introducing you last.
Gabe, what else you got?
I brought a Honey Farm vape battery and cartridge.
Yeah.
Oh, and something else too,
but I guess we decided not to talk about that.
And what else did you have for us?
He's tearing open into some bubble wrap
because he traveled safely with it
from Los Angeles to Colorado.
If you had 11 fingers,
that'd be a little easier to do, I think.
L-A-X to D-E-N.
The six finger's not the most useful.
Like, what do you do with it, Tim?
Magic tricks.
Magic tricks, really?
Like, hey, look, now I've got an extra finger.
Long trick.
You could probably clean up on
guess how many fingers I'm holding up.
Ain't nobody guessing 12.
I don't think he's got 12 fingers.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
All right.
Egg on my face. Also, even if you didn't have 12 fingers
What I said still stands
No one's gonna guess 12
Well you have an extra one on each hand though right?
But you're saying thumbs don't count as fingers?
Yeah so then you have 12
Right no I was wrong
I was wrong.
Oh.
I was wrong.
This guy right here, I was wrong.
It was me.
Tim's like, I know how many fingers I have.
You're not going to believe me, but I do know the answer.
Wow, man.
Anyway, what's in the thing?
What's in the bubble wrap?
It's a Getting Doug with High mug.
But
special edition
to
you know, how many did Chameleon make?
Like maybe five or six?
Six of them? So there's only six of these.
And it's got my logo on it.
Do you smoke weed, Tim?
Do you?
Did you bring your mom again?
Oh, she says hi.
He made her sit through it one time.
That had to be weird.
She seemed very nice though.
But also, I seem to recall
that you're not a weed smoker.
Because I was going to fucking give this to you
right now.
But if you're not going to smoke weed out of it, that's silly.
I don't care about your friends, Tim.
I don't even want to try to count the number of friends you have on one hand.
And also, the tiny fingers thing is white,
so it would really freak people out if you had it on one hand.
If you had a six-finger
that had five white fingers coming out of it.
Do you like famous Amos cookies?
I love famous Amos cookies.
Okay, you can have that then.
I guess good catch isn't really much of a compliment. All right, so thank you, Gabe,
for bringing all that stuff.
What did I tell you about this being a great bag, though?
That's some really good contributions.
And let's give a big, warm welcome to Sean Jordan, everybody.
Yo.
Twelfth time on the show.
First time in Denver.
It's my twelfth time?
I thought that sounded about right.
Yeah, yeah.
Doesn't that feel about right?
You could've just gone with it.
I'm desperately trying to change the subject, so.
Are we gonna do, is everything we do today?
It's lucky number 13, we're gonna say.
Unless your dick counts as a finger, then.
Are we only doing things by division?
No, we're not.
I would love to not be.
I did not.
That never entered my brain.
I just thought it felt like he'd been on about 12 times.
Yeah, about that, about 12 times.
And I almost said 13, but I was like, why do we want to get into unlucky numbers?
I agree with you 100%.
Yeah, so that was my process there.
And you've been on a bunch.
Yeah.
And have you played in Denver much as a stand-up comedian?
I know you were a phenom in Portland.
I've been here.
I was here for a festival last year, a couple festivals, a couple years in a row.
And then I did a show here in like August.
So yeah, I've been around a little bit.
You did pretty good?
I know Denver a little bit.
Because this lady's walking out already.
Illegal Pete's.
She's probably on her way
to Illegal Pete's.
Huh?
Illegal Pete's,
local reference.
Look me in the eye,
dickweed.
Yeah.
Sean,
I never understand
your local references.
I did meet Tony, though.
Oh, stop.
No, no.
No.
What do you got for the bag, man?
Thank you.
I have a...
He always brings snacks.
Yeah.
Movie snacks.
Bunch of Sour Patch Kids.
Let's not repeat the mistakes Gabe did.
I got some rips,
because, you know,
it's like a term for smoking weed.
I get it.
So I got some rips. So you rip a bowl it's like a term for smoking weed. I get it. So I got some rips.
So you rip a bowl, you see.
So that's why that's funny.
I got a clown nose that I found at the grocery store.
Yeah, it's like a little clown nose.
I got a Denver sticker, a Broncos sticker.
A coupon for a free oil change.
Some emergency.
A trading card. It was like a Yo! MTV Raps trading card, one of those things. And then I have a sticker that says Dank Nugs, because people that smoke
weed say Dank Nugs. And then a copy of Baby Mama, because they don't really sell DVDs
anywhere anymore, so this is the closest I could get to a Mother's Day sort of digital
video disc. It's got the word mama in it. It's got the word I could get to a Mother's Day sort of digital video disc.
It's got the word mama in it.
It's got the word mama in it, Playboy, so there it is.
Alright, let's say hello
to Jeff Tate, everybody.
Hello. Hello. I believe this is my 66th appearance.
Tim McGreece.
I have no idea.
Thanks for having me. The audience has a nice momentum there for a second
And then as a group
Just stopped
They all took a breath at the same time
Because there's no oxygen in Denver
No, there's no helium
Right, that's true
But they should build
No, I shouldn't say that Because I That's true. But they should build...
No, I shouldn't say that
because I like comedy words.
What do you got in the...
What do you got for us, Jeff?
I got a copy of my new album, Again.
Yeah!
We know that you always bring one,
but what's it called?
It's called Again.
Okay.
And honestly, I thought about that
Who's On first thing that was going to happen every
time when I named it, and then I thought,
that probably won't happen. And it does.
Every time.
It happened again? Yeah, it happened again.
It's good. It debuted
at number five on the Billboard charts.
Billboard. I don't know
what that means. Did you guys know Billboard was still a thing?
They emailed me, congratulations,
you're number five.
And I was like, oh, congratulations,
you're still around.
And I brought up my new,
this is a new shirt that I got for sale.
It's pretty cool.
This one's a small one,
so if this will fit you,
I'll probably,
you have a better chance
of me picking your name tag.
That is the best reaction
to a shirt I've seen.
It just says your name on it.
Yeah, well,
people love me in Denver.
You hear that?
Whoever books this club?
You listening?
Those people aren't here right now.
No, no, no.
It's good.
You can get those through my website,
justanotherclown.com,
and it's just a click through to ZipZoo Apparel. And if you you buy it all the money i make off of it goes to speakersilence.org
so go buy that shirt get a cool fucking shirt and help some people all the money you make off of it
all the money i make off the shirts that they sell on that website yeah all the stuff i sell
like when i sell cds stuff, I keep that money.
And then, but then the t-shirts,
because I don't do anything for those shirts.
This is just a guy that was like,
I want to make some shirts.
So I said yes, but then the money goes to these other people.
Yeah, I think you're going to sell a lot more shirts.
You should have made the CDs for charity.
Did you see, did you hear the difference
in the reaction between the shirt and the CD? I can tell you see, did you hear the difference in the reaction between the shirt and the CD?
I can tell you this, that shirt's been available for a couple of weeks and it is not, it didn't even crack the top 40.
Oh, Billboard is tracking shirts now?
Billboard is just counting anything that can be counted, hoping to stay in business.
Just sending out a lot of congratulatory emails.
You have the number five selling debut shirt of the week.
I bet your CD is great, Jeff.
It's fantastic.
No, I bet you both things are going to sell really well.
And it's super generous of you to give so much to an important charity.
Yep.
There, I said it.
Yeah. give so much to an important charity. Yep. There, I said it.
All of that is in the prize bag
tonight.
Very valuable.
Incredible prize bag, you guys.
Oh, can I mention something about that charity?
Just real quick.
I put such a nice button on it.
No, I know, but this isn This is... I put such a nice button on it. No, I know,
but this isn't even...
Just listen to this.
The guy that runs that charity
emailed me like two weeks ago
and somebody,
an anonymous donor
that just put DLM
in the memo part
gave him $2,500.
So whoever did that,
thank you to whoever did that.
That's fucking pretty rad.
So yeah, there you go.
There's a second button.
Only four more until Tim gets involved.
This is the kind of comedy I do.
I paint myself into a corner
And hope I can bail myself out
Yeah, none of us are helping you right now
You're just doing stand-up right now
I'm panicking
I've already switched to my emergency chute
Let's talk movies for a moment
What was the last movie you saw, Gabe?
Captain America
Civil War
When you bought your ticket
Did you say what I said?
What'd you say?
I'd like one for Captain America
Swivel Doors
Oddly enough, I did, yeah
And they just gave it to me
Captain America sliding doors
Would be a hilarious
It's swivel doors
Sliding does not sound like civil
It does kind of sound like swivel though
It doesn't sound
a thing like swivel.
They both have S's and L's in them.
You're right.
I see where you're going.
Oh, S's and L's.
They haunt me.
So, if I could quote
Rob Schneider's daughter.
Did you like
that movie game?
It had a lot of superheroes in it.
It sure did.
Probably more than any
other movie since Mystery Men.
Yeah.
I enjoyed it, though. Yeah, it was solid.
It's really fun.
I compared it to Batman v Superman, which is...
That's not good.
No, I mean, like, I was able to get even more closure with Batman v Superman
to find out that somebody else could make a movie with the exact same fucking conflict
and have superheroes work it out in a way that's really fun and interesting to watch. And, like, there's a couple of scenes,
like, when I watch Civil Wars over and over again,
Civil War, one war,
when I watch it over and over again on cable,
there are certain scenes where I'll know
that I could go to the bathroom or, you know,
whatever it is I have to do away from the television.
And, you know, in the case of Batman v. Superman,
it's most of that movie.
Like, I just want a cut of the action scenes
and then I don't want to see any of it ever, ever, ever again.
You know there's an app, like Run Pee or something,
where it tells you the best parts to miss?
Right, it tells you when you can go pee.
Thanks, Sean.
You're welcome, Buck.
I know already now, because I've seen the film.
I'm just saying for future reference,
if you don't want to be bothered.
Yeah, but I don't do that during movies I haven't seen before.
I sit through every goddamn minute.
Isn't that right, Jeff?
Yes.
I watched all of Batman v Superman,
but Jeff took a convenient break for himself,
because he's a nicotine addict.
I haven't even seen it
and I'm going to spend the whole time in the bathroom.
Honestly, honestly, Doug,
if I had never smoked cigarettes before in my life,
I would have started just to leave that movie.
Now, are you telling me that in this Civil War movie
they did not figure out that Iron Man
and Captain America's moms
had the same name?
That didn't happen?
That was only in the Batman one?
They were like, Martha?
Yeah, it's only in the Batman one.
But I think they made some memes of it, making fun of that.
But, yeah, that doesn't happen.
It's more of an actual discussion of whether or not the collateral damage
caused by superheroes is worth having superheroes,
which, of course, it's worth having superheroes.
It's a fucking ridiculous argument.
But they write it in a way where you go,
I can see where Iron Man, notorious nutjob,
suddenly gets in line with what the government wants him to do.
Seriously, the movie works out fine, nut job suddenly gets in line with what the government wants him to do. Seriously.
The movie works out fine
and they really do a good job of writing all their motivations
but isn't it Captain America
the one that would just be like, I'll do what the government
wants and fucking rich man
Tony Stark would say, no, I'm going to do
what I want to do? Just that they
swapped that and it still works
means that Marvel's
so much better
at making movies than DC.
It's got plenty of brooding.
It's got plenty of sad parts.
But it's also got
a lot of funny things
and just great scenes
of 12.
12.
I don't know how many fingers that would be but
yeah just superheroes going at each other
and they you know
they're really trying to hurt each other
so it's pretty fun
kind of weird though
it's also like the first time
almost all the Avengers are in one movie together, and they're already
having this big fight with each other.
I guess that's cool.
I guess it's better than seeing a million more
origin movies.
Yeah, that makes sense. A lot of egos.
Sean, what was the last movie you saw?
I went to Keanu the other day.
Yeah?
It was good.
It's fun, right?
Yeah.
Key and Peele, you can't go wrong with those guys.
Yeah, you cannot.
It's dope.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
And it was my first movie that I went to in Los Angeles,
so I was pretty excited to find my local movie theater.
It was fun.
Which one was it?
It's in Pasadena, but it's got like a Pink Dot,
or Pinkberry, what is it, the ice cream place?
Pinkberry.
Yeah, and it's got a Buffalo Wild Wings right there.
It's like a fucking mall. That's how you judge movie theaters?
Yeah. All the
dank shit around. I'm like, well, this is a dope movie theater,
so I think I'll go there frequently. So you
found one just like where you're from in
Sioux Falls?
Best city in the world. Thanks for bringing it up. Yeah.
Voted.
Zero years in a row. Best city in the world.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota. God's angel kiss is what they call it
that's a big competition Jeff
all the cities in the world
yeah
they were number one on billboards best cities
it might not be number one
it might not be the number one city in the county that it's in
I don't know how much longer you guys think that I'm just going to let this ride, but it's...
I've got a Sturgis shirt on, Playboy.
Come on.
My shirt says Tribe Called Quest.
You want to let the audience
vote, Sean?
We all know who wins.
I enjoy Tribe Called Quest.
What are you doing with movies, Jeff?
You see any?
There were two hotly anticipated movie releases this weekend
that I'm sure everyone is well aware of
and all of you probably saw.
One is called Term Life.
What?
It stars Vince Vaughn and Hailee Steinfeld.
It's a real thing?
Yep.
It's just like the movie
Three Days to Kill.
Only Vince Vaughn is the
old guy.
Haley Steinfeld is the same girl from that movie
but that's his daughter that he doesn't really
see a lot. But then Vince Vaughn is about to get killed
by some dudes. So he goes and
gets a life insurance
policy, hence the title,
and it doesn't kick
in for 21 days, and so the
synopsis says he's gotta
last 21 days without getting killed
so his daughter can get that insurance. I was like, this sounds
dope. And then he goes
and gets the insurance policy,
and that is the very last mention
of the insurance policy. They named is the very last mention of the insurance policy.
They named the whole movie after that one scene, and then the rest of the movie takes like two days, and it's just...
He pushes his hair forward, like when Dwight tried to look cool on The Office.
Four stars, super fun.
That's like his disguise or something?
That's what he does for a disguise or something?
No, no, that's just how he is the whole time.
Just from the very beginning.
He's got his hair pushed forward,
so people are like, what are you, 27?
You look pretty cool, old man.
And you have a second movie to tell us about?
Yeah, the second one is called...
I don't even know if you actually watched that movie,
because you didn't even say you watched it.
You just gave us a synopsis.
Oh, no, I watched it.
I did watch it.
Yeah, he watched enough of it to ruin it for everybody.
They might have brought up
the insurance policy again.
Yeah, maybe they do.
I don't know.
I'm not the most detail-oriented fella.
There's a chance
at the end or something
where they just mention it
and I might not even know
what I'm talking about.
It might even have a different
name. It's definitely called
Term Life. Maybe the words Term Life just came
up on the screen early on in the film
to describe what was
happening or something.
Or something.
Why wouldn't they call it Death Certificate?
They should have called it anything else.
It was not a bad movie.
Jon Favreau's in it.
It's clear that he's doing some improv.
Those guys are buddies.
The guy that plays Michael.
Did he show up?
No.
Alright, Jeff. Tell us about this other movie.
Do it quickly.
Don't tell us so much and so
little at the same time.
That's not my fault. That's the movie's
fault. They fucked up.
I think DC made it.
The second movie is called Mr. Right
and it stars... Is it a DC
movie about a superhero called The Actuary?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead. The next movie is called Mr. Right and it stars... Is it a DC movie about a superhero called The Actuary? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, go ahead.
The next movie
is called Mr. Right
and it stars Sam Rockwell
and Anna Kendrick.
I know.
When I saw that
I wanted to see it
but it's kind of shady
how it's being released.
Yeah, well...
It feels like
it might not be good.
I'm not even gonna...
I'm not gonna say anything
other than the fact
that I think
it's fucking super fun.
Like, I'm just gonna tell you
that those two people are in it.
They're very neat.
Two of the most engaging people you could want in a movie.
Yeah, yeah.
It's got a very cross-border blank vibe.
One knows how to dance.
One knows how to sing.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I like it.
That was a good movie.
I say yes.
Yes to that one.
It's called Mr. Right.
Mr. Right.
Mr. Right.
R-I-G-H-T.
Yep.
All right. It's a romantic comedy. Wright. Mr. Wright. R-I-G-H-T. Yep. All right.
It's a romantic comedy.
I'm in.
You could have said that before the title,
and I would have been like, I'm in.
I'll watch it.
Sean likes his rom-coms.
I love romantic comedies.
And Netflix just put Running Down a Dream,
the Tom Petty documentary, streaming, so...
It's almost like you don't understand the question. put Running Down a Dream, the Tom Petty documentary streaming.
It's almost like you don't understand the question.
I also
just watched that.
It's a movie.
I watched a basketball game
Jeff, tell us about everything you've done
since the last time we saw you.
I got a haircut today.
I can tell when you didn't have...
I can tell because you didn't have anything to push forward
when you were talking about Vince Vaughn pushing it forward.
But I do have to say,
push it forward's my favorite Kevin Spacey movie.
All right, we got games to play, and we got name tags to pick.
Let the games begin.
Gentlemen, you got a lot of options.
Go pick somebody.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show!
Alright, we're back. Good job
everybody!
All right, we're back.
Good job, everybody.
Some mini donuts just made their way to the stage.
So if there's time later,
maybe we'll throw some of those around.
Oh, Doug.
Some bigger donuts just made it.
I've never done that.
I want to stomp on that big pink box so bad
that's a terrible sentence out of context
give to what's your charity again
Jeff you should mention it every time
speakersilence.org
non-profit provides pro bono
counseling to the grown up survivors of
child sex abuse.
There you go.
I thought it was more of a domestic violence
thing, but that's great too.
I mean,
those things aren't great.
Those things aren't great, you guys. We're raising money to stop
them.
Who are you playing for, Gabe?
Croco Kyle Dundee.
Croco Kyle.
Oh, yeah.
Scott, you as Croco Kyle.
Oh, it's me and Jeff. Yeah, I'm Crocodile Dundee
and Jeff is Linda
Karazinski or whatever her name was.
Wow, and he looks...
Jeff, you look good.
You got like a Patrick
Swayze mixed with
let's go ahead and say Kelly Lynch. You got like a Patrick Swayze mixed with, let's go ahead and say, Kelly Lynch.
It's like Roadhouse was just one character.
And I like the subtle use of a German.
So that's their kid after they fucked?
Look at how beautiful you look.
I'm gorgeous.
Great job, Gabe.
Who are you playing for, Sean?
Jesse, the one person in here with a skateboard.
So I apologize.
It's actually not that good of a name take, Jesse.
Step your game up.
But you did have a skateboard, so I'm sold.
But yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Gleaming the Jesse is what it is.
It's a skateboard movie, Gleaming the Cube.
So in the future, if you think Sean might be a guest,
bring a skateboard.
And if he's not, it's very unlikely you'll get picked.
He is the skateboard guy.
I was going to ask you today, but we're running tight on time, but maybe you have a fast answer.
Nine inches.
There's a movie about skateboarding called Nine Inches?
Movie of sorts.
What's your favorite skateboarding called Nine Inches? Movie of sorts. What's your favorite skateboarding movie?
Gleaming the Cube's like the only one
that got even close to getting it right.
There's been like six skateboard movies,
like Grind and Street Dreams,
and they're fucking horrible.
Nobody can actually handle a skateboard movie
and make it right. It's insane to me.
Yeah, some people can't handle a fast dancer.
No, that was very inclusive, though.
Were you talking to Jeff?
You said a lot of...
I was just talking across you guys.
Because, for one, I'm sick of Gabe's nonstop chatter.
I'm sorry.
Who put a nickel in you, Gabe, huh?
Wow, it's cheap to get him going.
Only costs a nickel.
Who are you playing for, Jeff?
Inside Aubrey Davis.
There you go.
How did this one catch your eye?
Because there's a lot of good, big name tags.
It's the best name tag I've ever seen.
It's on the smaller
size. It's like a wallet size.
Yeah, well, it was the girl holding
it up.
The shirt I brought would fit her.
And I didn't
think it would be fair. I wanted to
play for someone who could use that shirt.
What's her name again? Becky? Aubrey.
Hey, Aubrey.
Where you at? You here?
I'm right here. Aubrey Graham.
Are you sad about the scrutiny at this point? You really think that tiny shirt you at? You here? I'm right here. Aubrey Graham? Are you sad about the scrutiny at this point?
You really think that tiny shirt you brought?
Yeah.
Because I brought a really tiny one.
Like, yeah.
I think mine's an extra small.
Do they get smaller than that?
Did you go to the baby gap for your shirt?
You can always throw another X before it,
and it's going to be smaller.
All right, buddy.
I will give you $1,000 if you do a kickflip right now.
What are you saying?
No!
No!
Stop!
What's happening?
He's not going to do the thing.
You're not going to give him $1,000.
You're just saying things now.
That's what a podcast is. That would be very dangerous. You're right, a podcast just saying things now. That's what a podcast is.
That would be very dangerous.
Yeah, you're right.
A podcast is saying things,
but things with intent and follow-through.
I can't imagine you owing him $1,000.
Me either.
And, but let's go back further,
or him accomplishing this trick that you want him to do
without hurting himself.
Will you give me $500 if I try? I don't have it. or him accomplishing this trick that you want him to do without hurting himself.
Will you give me 500 if I try?
I don't have it. I was lying. I don't have any money.
That's my fault.
I didn't think that bit would take off like it did, so...
So, Aubrey...
are you single?
I am.
She is. All right.
Good choice, Jeff.
Yes.
Finally.
Yeah.
The first 65 times I was on the show,
I would pick a pretty lady's name tag,
and then, pow, her husband wants to talk after the show.
You're going to love Bruce.
Wait to meet him. It's going to be fun.
He's a good guy.
You remind me of him.
That happens a lot, too.
Oh, great, So you're just saying
I'm a little late?
You want to play a game?
Yeah, I'd love to.
This is something that I've been tinkering
with, and I think it might be in a place
where it's worth doing from time to time.
It's called Purple Rain Man.
And you guys just jump in with your answers,
as you think of what the answer might be.
I'm going to name the third build person from two different movies
that the two titles could mash up as to one title, build a title style.
Then if you don't say the right answer,
I'll say the second-billed people.
And then the first top-billed people should give it away.
But you never know with these things.
It's not an easy game.
It's just between the guys on stage. Here we go.
Third build in this mashup movie
are Jo Beth Williams and Rona Mitra.
I told you this shit was not gonna be easy.
No guesses?
If I guess, do I...
Can I come back in?
You can keep guessing.
That's why I said just a few seconds ago,
guess as many times as you want.
Is it parenthood winked?
What?
Is it parenthood winked?
Parenthood winked?
No, but I...
Parenthood winked.
Yeah.
No.
Neither one of those were in either of those movies.
But it's a good mashup, Jeff.
I just thought of the titles.
I don't know who those ladies are.
Here's your next pair.
The second billed person in these movies are
Estelle Getty and Michael Pena.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Who are currently starring in a Bud Light campaign.
Yes.
Stop her, my mom will shoot her.
That's correct.
And of course, because it's Mother's Day
is why I picked Shooter.
Good job, Jeff.
You win nothing except
the opportunity to go first in the next game.
Which is something that I like to call
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
I will read the name, or the tagline
from a motion picture.
Jeff gets first dibs at guessing it.
Then we'll go to Sean, then to Gabe
and around and around.
Don't worry too much
about getting the right answer.
Just say whatever comes into your mind, Jeff.
Were you
wiping nothing off your pants?
No
It was like a beard hair or something
Oh okay
Yeah it just looked like you were just like
That's almost like somebody going like this
You know before a competition
Like you're just getting ready to compete
Let me just dust off my
Motherfucking lap real quick
Get this fucking game going.
I got all the answers written on my legs.
And they got covered in crumbs.
For those who might be wondering,
the leads in Stop Right, My Mom Will Shoot Her
are Sylvester Stallone and Mark Wahlberg.
All right, here we go.
Jeff. Jeff.
Yes.
What movie has the tagline,
She Will Rock Your World?
Somebody out there goes,
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I had some reactions.
I don't know what's going on there.
Like, if you know what movie it is,
you'd go, Oh, my God.
Is it Ricky and the Flash? No, that's a great guess, though. So don movie it is, you'd go, oh, my God. Is it, uh, Ricky and the Flash?
No, that's a great guess, though.
So don't guess that, Sean.
She will rock your world.
Miss Doubtfire?
That's correct.
The only reason it took so long is I had to go over all my tattoos of dialogue
that I have on my lower back.
One of those.
Missed out fire.
Oh, they actually say that in the movie?
I don't know. I was kidding.
All right.
Gabe gets to go first on this next one.
Gabe, what movie has the tagline,
nothing is inconceivable?
Princess Bride.
Oh, my God.
Did you just say Princess Bride?
I didn't say inconceivable.
But good guess.
Jeff? Junior. But good guess. Jeff?
Junior.
That's correct.
Sean?
Yes?
Owen asked his friend Larry
for a small favor.
Dot, dot, dot.
Well, that's a bummer
because I don't know the characters
Owen and Larry from any particular movie.
You never saw When Owen Met Larry?
Classic.
You can kind of make the word crown say Owen,
so maybe it's Larry Crown.
Independence Day.
Yep.
No.
It's not Independence Day?
Nope.
Gabe, what do you think it is?
Independence Day 2.
Full title.
Are you whispering trying to sound like Gabe?
Because Gabe is the magic whisperer.
What is it, Gabe?
I have no idea.
O and S is for Larry for favor.
I don't know any movies with those characters.
Okay, Jeff.
I do.
What is it, Jeff?
Throw Mama from the Train.
That's correct.
Okay, Sean, this one's for you.
Come celebrate the mother of all holidays.
Mother's Day? That's correct. All holidays.
Mother's Day?
That's correct.
Get your head off the wall.
That was too easy?
See, so Mrs. Doubtfire, we did a couple years ago.
And then last year we did Junior.
And tonight we're interrupting Throw Mama from the Train.
And next year I definitely want to do Mother's Day.
One more, though.
Starting with Gabe.
This is a great one.
No actual mothers were harmed during the making of this motion picture.
They might
would have gone Mother's Day.
Yeah, seems like
that might be the way to go.
Do you want to
guess Mother's Day?
Yeah, sure.
Incorrect. Jeff?
What to expect when you're expecting?
No.
That's a little too...
I don't know.
Sean?
I heard that they're making an Independence Day 3.
Can I say that?
It's not out yet. It's just
announced. I live in LA now, so I hear about it.
It comes out in...
It's got a funny tagline, because it was a pretty funny
movie that Albert Brooks made
with Debbie Reynolds, just called
Mother. It was just Mother.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
Alright, you guys. Let's get fucking serious
now. Yeah, those games
were fun, but it's time
to... Wait, I got one
more.
Who was the last one to go?
I was. Sean. Okay, start with Gabe.
One more tagline.
What?
Meet the biggest mother of them all.
Oh, Big Mama's house, dude.
It's not your turn.
Gabe.
Oh, shit.
I thought...
If that's right, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean...
I hate it when people do that.
Did you say two, though?
Big Mama's Day 3, Independence Day, The Watching.
It's when her kids emancipated themselves.
Oh, that's where they're going to re-team
Will Smith and Martin Lawrence's Independence Mama's Day.
Welcome to Easter, bitch.
Yeah.
Mama's house.
You got it.
You got it.
Gabe, what's your guess?
Big Mama's house.
No.
Jeff?
The biggest mother of them all?
Yeah.
Fuck, I don't know, man.
Jurassic World?
Sean?
I don't know
it's a movie I interrupted a long time ago
but would be great to do on Mother's Day
because it's so bonkers
a movie called Mommy Dearest
that's like a horror movie
which is like a drama
that's not supposed to be funny
most of the time
maybe once or twice there's supposed to be a funny line
like when she's like don't fuck with me, fellas,
at the boardroom.
But when she's beating her child at home,
it's not so hilarious.
And then her mother,
I think the little girl calls her mom the C word
at one point.
Like, it's crazy.
She calls her a coward?
Yeah, she says, you cuntly coward.
Yeah, so that movie's nuts,
but I already interrupted it a few years back.
Oh, that's what I was going to say, though.
The studio knew they had a crazy movie on their hands,
and so that's why the ad said,
it's the biggest mother of them all.
Like, isn't it crazy how this woman was terrible to her child and then she wrote a book about it
and now he made a movie
totally
happy mother's day everybody
let's play
Jason and Deb's IMDB game
looking around for my phone
to make sure we're good on time
oh we're fantastic on time. Oh, we're fantastic on time.
Yeah.
Do more!
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit, we gotta do more, Doug.
Make those people that are going to see the movie Interruption wait.
Sure.
No, I don't know what the deal is with this club tonight.
Do they have another show tonight?
Or can we just rage?
Because it is the audience's decision.
Don't you dare threaten me with a good time.
I'll rage all night.
I was up until four last night, homeboy.
Let's have a sit-in.
In the morning?
In the morning.
No way.
In the morning, dog.
Holy shit! I called Mom. She was cool with it.
What? Mom, I'm up.
Sanctioned? You were
sanctioned? Yeah.
She's like, get buck. Go get as buck as you want. So I did.
Jesus, man. Till four in the a.m.
The hour of our Lord.
Alright, let's go.
Jason and Deb's IMDB game is a game you're gonna be playing until someone gets five points.
If you buzz in and get the wrong name,
you buzz in with your own name.
But if you say the wrong answer,
then you get a negative point.
So you don't wanna jump in too early
because this gentleman over here
is allergic to negative points.
It's that time of year
if you got that allergy.
Because I'm tight.
Yeah, I think that's...
Or if we run out of time is the other way this game ends.
Thank God. Thank God there's two ways.
Yeah, I think it's gone...
It's been both ways a couple times.
I think you guys will get to five points
with this game that I've set up.
So, again, this is just...
You know, say your own name
when you're buzzing it as a buzz in.
And this is for all the marbles.
So whoever wins is going to get,
or should I say ball bearings?
Because there's a skateboard.
You could say that.
It's all ball bearings these days.
Does Sean get to keep the skateboard, Jesse?
No.
No.
His answer was he has to get home.
He said, no, I gotta get home.
Oh, there's things in this bag that'll get you home.
I should have put get you home. Oh, there's things in this bag that'll get you home. I should've put
get you home in quotes, though.
Yes, I'm gonna keep this.
It'll take you there.
Is it a good board?
Do you like it?
It's terrible.
Look how kept up it is.
Look at that.
I should buy you
a new board, Jesse.
Wow, you make a lot of
offers that your butt can't cash.
Why would you want me to do a kickflip?
He definitely can, because this board's done a few
kickflips before. I'm looking at it.
Jesse piping up?
You know I can. No kickflips in here.
Alright.
I don't know about the club, but I personally
have a no kickflips policy.
I don't like show-offs.
Alright, I'm gonna say
the first of four movies
that this person was involved with
in some way. Sometimes it's a TV show,
but it's mostly movies.
Here we go. Who was in
Forrest Gump.
Lincoln.
Jeff.
Who is it, Jeff?
Sally Field.
That's correct.
The next two are... Jeff gets a point for that.
Now he's going to try to guess
two more movies that IMDb
thinks are her most known for.
Mrs. Doubtfire
and Smokey and the Bandit.
Oh!
Smokey and the Bandit 2!
You got one right.
You got Mrs. Doubtfire right.
And then their fourth choice was
The Amazing Spider-Man.
Oh.
It wasn't eye for an eye.
Not without my daughter.
No, it wasn't any other movie of hers
you can name. I've told you what it was.
Yeah.
I like that new Spider-Man,
the way they work it into the movie and like Spider-Man's gonna be a thing,
but we don't have to sit through his whole origin again.
It's just like him having a conversation.
Yeah, this happened to me.
I can do all these things now.
All right.
So Jeff has two points.
Yeah.
Solid.
Solid start.
Solid, man.
Solid start.
Super great start.
But anybody
can jump in on this one.
The first movie
of the four
that this person
was involved with.
Sense and Sensibility.
Gabe.
Whoa.
What's happening?
Who do you think it is?
Don't get too excited.
Jeff told me I wouldn't have to think about peeing while I was on stage,
and that has not been the case.
Can I recuse myself?
Isn't that funny, though?
Like, stand-up comics,
we're all used to not having to pee
while we're on stage.
You don't even feel like you have to.
No.
Because you're on stage in front of people.
We're focused on entertaining the audience, Gabe.
Yeah, maybe that's your problem, Gabe.
You're just sitting there thinking about yourself.
So, yeah, so can you make it another 20 minutes
or do you want a restroom break?
Take your mind off it.
If I could recuse myself from one point,
it would be worth it to be comfortable.
Well, we'll see.
We'll see.
You buzzed in early, so what's your guess?
Sense and sensibility.
I was thinking about pee.
You don't even want to try to guess?
Keira Knightley? Incorrect. Go take a pee. You don't even want to try to guess? Geera Knightley?
Incorrect, go take a pee, you deserve it.
He did not have a smile on his face.
I'm just thinking about pee.
That was such a fun run that he did.
I love that run.
All right, so he'll be back.
Do either one of you want to buzz in while he's gone?
When he buzzed in on Sense of Sensibility,
I was like, who does he think how could he possibly
have an answer and it was just
it was just peeing strategy
I have
of course and it's gonna come
as no surprise to anyone in this room
I've never seen that movie
I haven't either I couldn't name one person
in that movie until I found out Keira Knightley was in it
I will say this though I bet't name one person in that movie until I found out Keira Knightley was in it.
I will say this though. I bet you there's movies that exist that you guys know people that are in it and you haven't seen it.
So stop thinking that way.
I'm gonna need a while to wrap my mind around it.
Alright, let me give you another title.
Alright, sounds better.
Love Actually.
Jeff! Fuck you, dude! Sounds better. Love Actually. Shh. Jeff.
Fuck you, dude.
Emma Thompson.
That's correct.
I wouldn't have got it.
I didn't mean that.
I apologize.
I was in a fit of blind rage for a second
because I thought it was a good one.
I was going to say Keira Knightley.
I know, dude.
Oh yeah, she's in both those movies too.
I started to say my name and then I was like,
wait, you're stupid. They just said that.
It's the wrong answer.
Gabe's back.
We didn't even finish the point.
That's how magical you are.
I heard everything too. Oh, okay.
Wait, you couldn't hear me doing an imitation of your run?
All right, so Jeff gets to take a swack
at two more Emma Thompson motion pictures.
Oh, boy.
Can you think of any?
I remember that one she was in where she was like,
meh.
I can totally,
I could,
Pride and Prejudice and
Little Women.
Little British Women.
No and No.
They listed
Nanny McPhee
and Howard's End.
Yep. Those are your favorites.
That's why you call your fists
before you fight someone, isn't it?
Or Nanny McPhee.
Which one do you want?
You're gonna have to deal with
Nanny McPhee or Howard's End.
So after two rounds
that ended on Sally Field
and Emma Thompson,
Jeff has three points,
and the other two guys
still need to get on the board.
I believe Gabe's on the board.
Negative one.
Oh, that's right.
Good point, Jeff.
I wasn't going to put down negative one
because I loved his strategy.
A lot of things about Jeff, but he's not a rule breaker.
I'll tell you that.
Nope. I love authority.
Point out whoever's in charge, I'll do whatever they say.
Oh, okay.
It's me and listen.
Tell them to do something.
The first movie is The Goonies.
Yeah!
No buzzing in.
The next movie
is called
Throw Mama from the Train.
I don't know what I'm fucking saying.
Yeah, there's going to be no points on this one.
The third movie
is called
Deadly Friend.
And the fourth movie,
I put this in here just for laughs,
the fourth movie is called Scrooged.
And the lady that was
in all of those and had a very
unfortunate face
Well, that was rude.
Is a very, very, very sweet lady
who's no longer with us
named Ann Ramsey.
Ann Ramsey.
What was she in Scrooge?
She was the lady that walked in
and had that face.
I couldn't tell you
what she did in Scrooge,
to be honest.
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.
Oh, okay.
Oh, she's homeless in it?
Oh, no. No, she works homeless in it? Oh, no.
No, she works at the...
Or she's one of the people...
She's homeless, yeah.
When Bill Murray freaks out?
Yeah.
All right.
You just put a shawl on her head
and she looks pretty down
on her luck.
We know how shawls
make everything.
Yeah.
You could put...
You could put a tiara
on her head
and she looks a little
down on her luck.
I don't like that joke at all.
I feel terrible about it.
It's a good thing we're all perfect looking, Jeff.
I'm a hit in Denver, Sean.
Let's stop digging yourself deeper.
I mean, the lady willingly signed on
to play an ugly lady in everything she was in.
So, you know, rest in peace, Ann Ramsey.
Happy Mother's Day if you had any kids.
You fucking horrible looking monsters running around.
I got goosebumps.
That is cold blooded.
Cold blooded, dude.
What a dick.
I don't want to stop anymore.
I just... I feel like I can say anything
and it's probably not true.
Here we go for the next round.
First one out of the gate
is a TV program.
I hope you guys have heard of it
Because I know if you haven't heard of it
Then you won't know who's in it
Or if you haven't seen it
Then you won't know
I think you guys have seen this though
The TV show Friends
I think he was kidding
He probably knew that we were
Yeah
Do you want another one? You're all afraid of the negative point at this point I'm guessing that we were gonna... Yeah.
Do you want another one?
You're all afraid of the negative point
at this point, I'm guessing.
I'll roll the dice, Sean.
Oh, roll them up, buddy.
Matthew Perry.
Incorrect!
The whole nine yards.
No, you don't get to...
The whole ten yards.
You get some weird credit for naming movies
the guy that was wrong was in.
Serving Sarah.
Stop doing it.
Okay, okay.
It's not always naming all the movies of someone.
I was trying to figure out this one, Jeff.
Because the second movie,
that was a TV show,
but this movie
is called We're the Millers.
Gabe.
Gabe.
Who is it, Gabe?
Jennifer Aniston.
That's correct.
Gabe is out of the hole.
Sean is alone in the hole.
Took his place.
And Gabe can almost catch up to Jeff
if he can name two more Jennifer Aniston things
that are on this list.
What do you got, Gabe?
I've got one that I can't think of the name of.
It's with Alec of. Jennifer Aniston.
Pretty popular actress.
A lot of movies.
Can you think of any that she was in?
I'm just excited that you could end up beating Sean,
even though right now Sean knows a Jennifer Aniston movie.
I do indeed.
Yeah.
Can't think of the names.
Nope, he doesn't have any?
All right.
It's not the most obvious ones,
and I don't know what you're saying over there,
but please don't.
They went with The Iron Giant,
and I kind of like this choice,
Office Space.
The decision to put that on there has a lot of flair.
Yeah, I don't blame you for leaving.
He's like, that reminds me,
I got to go beat up a computer with a baseball bat.
He's like, that reminds me, I gotta go beat up a computer with a baseball bat.
You know what, I'm done.
Alright, so yeah, just the point for Gabe on that one.
So Jeff still has three and Gabe is back at zero.
And the less said about Sean, the better.
Okay, I'll say it because it's a movie title.
He's less than zero.
Cut me deep.
Cut me deep.
Here's the first movie in the next round.
Singing
in the Rain.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Yeah, there's somebody that was in both of those.
Sean?
Oh, no, Sean.
We're already underground.
How deep do you want to go?
You got to spend money to make money.
Elizabeth Shue?
No.
You think she was a baby in Singing in the Rain?
I don't know what
Singing in the Rain is.
She was an unborn baby
in Singing in the Rain.
Yeah, sure.
I'll take it.
All right, so
we won't even talk about what's going on with your score.
Negative peace sign.
Yeah.
You guys ready for the third one, Jeff and Gabe?
Yeah.
You can still guess, right?
No, you're out.
Just of this round, you know.
Charlotte's Web.
Does that help anybody?
I doubt it. Nope. And finally, the fourth one that's not Does that help anybody? I doubt it.
Nope.
And finally, the fourth one that's not going to help anybody,
a movie called In and Out.
Oh!
Where Tom Selleck plays a gay guy,
and in that one movie, he doesn't have his gay mustache.
I like that.
I don't know that choice.
In and Out.
In and Out.
I liked In and Out. It's not a bad movie. Yeah don't know that choice. In-N-Out, I liked In-N-Out.
It's not a bad movie.
Yeah, it's very entertaining.
All right, so this was a tough one, arguably.
An actress that was, you know,
the lead in Singing in the Rain,
so that could make it easy for someone
who's very familiar with that movie,
Debbie Reynolds.
Debbie Reynolds,
who also played Mother in the movie.
I already brought her up earlier
to try to help you guys along a little bit
you're welcome
here's the next round
starting with Chinatown
then the next movie is
Network
Jeff
what do you got Jeff?
Faye Dunaway
that's correct.
Now, Jeff, for the win, you have two chances
to name one
Faye Dunaway thing.
Mommy Dearest.
Two chances.
And one, so one more chance
Faye Dunaway
Faye Dunaway
I'm kind of hoping you don't succeed
well
I mean I'm confident you're going to win today, but I would like it
to go one more round if that's okay with you.
I swear to God, the only thing I know that she's
in is the end of the Great White Open, Tom Petty
and the Heartbreakers music video.
With Johnny Depp and Matt
LeBlanc.
Bringing it back to friends.
Yeah,
hopefully we'll mention them all
by the time we're done.
Okay, so yeah, she was in
who remembers Bonnie and Clyde
or
Three Days of the Condor.
Oh, god damn it.
Interesting choice.
But she's been in a ton of big movies
and yeah, I guess Mommy Dearest probably didn't make the cut because it's
so embarrassing
was she in Mommy Dearest?
yeah I was just guessing because you said it earlier
that thing about Debbie Reynolds
alright so
basically what I did there
what I did there was
I
I just named the actress that's the star of every one of the movies we just played and whose tagline is it anyway.
Yeah, and that's not necessarily an easy pattern to detect.
But this last one is anybody's game except for the fact that Jeff is the only one who could win.
But Gabe could get four points
and tie it up.
I have to pee again.
Or I could be negative six.
No, I couldn't.
Yeah, you could pull yourself out of negative points,
but there's no embarrassment in that.
You played hard and lost hard.
I didn't lose yet, Doc there's no embarrassment in that. You played hard and lost hard.
I didn't lose yet, doc.
Oh, that's true.
Jeff would have to guess wrong on the first one,
and then you'd have to come in and guess right,
and then name three more movies from that same person...
I know how games work.
...to catch up to Jeff.
I'm aware. And then I think you still would be one behind him.
Here we go.
The Terminator.
Jeff.
Who do you think it is?
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
That's correct.
Jeff wins with five points
But let's see
We can start keeping track of who's got the most points
In a game of this
So Jeff
Give me three more Schwarzenegger vehicles
Terminator 2 Judgment Day No Predator Jeff, give me three more Schwarzenegger vehicles.
Terminator 2 Judgment Day?
No.
Predator?
Yes.
You'd think you'd be able to remember this.
Commando?
No. Total Recall.
Oh, I get it. Remember it.
Yeah.
And the film where he was on camera smoking weed,
he's always been a supporter of it,
very quietly beyond that movie,
Pumping Iron made his top four
known for us.
I guess because that was his big debut.
But that means Jeff got six points
and we don't need to discuss everyone else
because he is the winner.
Hey, Aubrey, you want to come down here
and get your prize
or do you want to put a restraining order
in against Jeff?
Hey, hey.
I'll leave you alone.
Here she comes.
There you go.
You're welcome.
It was a good try, Jeff.
What? What was?
Winning the prize bag for a pretty single lady.
You're welcome.
Pass me your name tag there
while Jeff gives me his plugs.
My plugs.
May 11th, Portland, Oregon
at the Helium Comedy Club
it's a gas
May 22nd
May 22nd
I didn't mean to surprise you with this
should we come back to you?
I honestly
I'm a little surprised
I didn't know
the game was over
I thought we were going to do
Last Man Standing
and so I was a little blindsided
did you really just do that? I didn't know the game was over. I thought we were going to do Last Man Standing. And so I was a little blindsided.
Did you really just do that?
I didn't mean to do that.
Did you really just get them whipped up for something that is not going to happen?
No, I didn't do that.
It's not going to happen, you guys.
I was surprised.
It's not happening.
You know how when I start asking for the plugs, that means we're wrapping it up?
I'm in Denver.
I've got marijuana to smoke.
June 14th, the Stress Factory
in New Brunswick, New Jersey.
June 16th, Knitting Factory in Brooklyn, New York.
And I'll be selling albums
wherever we're smoking dope after this show.
You know what I mean?
Yo! I'm glad you guys
are that excited
about Last Man Staten.
I really am.
Or the show continuing.
I'm not sure
which one of those things
was more exciting
to you guys.
But,
yeah, you know,
we have a certain amount
of time that
there's a staff
that works here.
Show's supposed to end
at six.
I might go a couple minutes over.
But I also might end at 5.59 now.
Yeah, because I'm a lesson teacher.
And you know what?
I'm totally on board with it.
I love authority.
And rules.
I heard that about you.
Sean, what do you got to plug?
Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Greatest city in the world, May 17th.
That's all drag records.
It's hard to get people in other towns
to cheer for that.
Some of you are pretty nice.
Appleton, Wisconsin, May 19th through the 21st.
What is?
Sioux Falls?
Fucking, it is not.
Anyway, I'll be, the Bridgetown Comedy Festival first week in June.
People are listening to this.
You're just talking to nothing.
The guy said.
I apologize.
Yeah, but I'm saying, repeat what he said that you responded to.
I think he said Sioux Falls is the armpit of America.
He said it's the armpit of the world?
Oh.
Wisconsin is.
Wisconsin is.
Oh, yeah, you're right. Wisconsin is? You're right, but I'll be there? Oh, yeah, you're right.
Wisconsin is?
You're right,
but I'll be there.
So, yeah, that's fine.
Appleton, Wisconsin,
8th May 19th
through the 21st
and then Bridgetown
Comedy Festival,
Portland, Oregon
first weekend in June.
There.
I got through it.
You did it.
Yeah, it's weird
to be heckled
during the plugs,
but, you know,
some cities,
some places are armpits.
According to other places.
Uh-oh.
Jeff's got the donuts, and he's left with them.
That was not what I had planned either.
No one in this building wants to do what I want to do.
Why did you take those away like do what I want to do. He's back there.
Why did you take those away like that?
I didn't do anything.
I've been here the whole time.
Why did you leave those?
Because those, no one wants to eat those.
We're going to throw those.
I don't get to decide what we throw, apparently.
I don't get to decide what was put on the stage for me
and what was for you.
That's a huge box of donuts.
You really want every one of them?
Now he's going back.
Let's see what happens.
He's going to play Last Man Stanton
with the donuts back there.
And they suck at it.
Put it on your chair there and open it up
How many donuts are in that fucking thing?
Holy shit
I think there's nine
I don't know man, this is like what was in the briefcase
In Pulp Fiction
Positive
This is what they looked like
This one got fucking Cap'n Crunch on it
That's a lot more than we knew about This is what they looked like. This one got fucking Cap'n Crunch on it.
That's a lot more than we knew about the case in Pulp Fiction.
I don't know if there's any Cap'n Crunch in there.
But, okay, Jeff, so what are you doing now?
Are you pulling hairs off of the donuts?
I'm not doing anything.
Well, there was a weird, what were you doing? I almost ate that Captain Crunch one, and then I decided not to.
So, Jeff.
That's... I got this, you guys.
Decide which
ones, maybe two or three of them, that
you'd like to eat yourself.
And then
let's share with the audience.
And then, let's share with the audience.
That was a very violent one.
It's a extremely low ceiling in here.
I don't want to... All these other ones have shit all over them.
I'm going to wreck someone's shirt.
Yeah, don't wreck anybody's shirt, please.
Here.
All right.
Here we go.
I'll do it like a gentleman.
Who wants a donut? Like, who wants to eat the donut? There we go. Yeah. Alright. Here we go. I'll do it like a gentleman. Who wants a donut?
Like who wants to eat the donut?
There we go. Yeah, whatever.
I don't want to be an asshole.
I don't want to wing a donut. Did the person who brought
these go into Voodoo Donuts and say give me all the
messiest ones you have?
They all have shit over.
What's wrong with a plain donut?
You guys would be furious. I want to hit that fucking
three men and a baby sign.
Is the baby you?
Are you the baby?
Yeah, I am.
Oh, it's three mats and a baby.
I was like, why is it different guys in all the roles?
But it's Matthew Broderick, Matt McConaughey,
and who's that middle one?
That's you?
Okay, good job, Matt.
I guess the chocolate side didn't hit
because there's no chocolate stain on there,
which would have been perfect for three men and a baby.
Little duty diaper on that kid.
I see someone decided to eat that Captain Crunch donut.
How is it, Jeff?
It's unbelievable.
What does it taste like?
Does it taste like somebody put Captain Crunch on a donut?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, but just, like, it...
I don't know why it took this long for someone to think of it.
I think it's been around for, like, a decade.
You don't want to talk about it?
I don't care, Sean.
I just found out about it.
What if I were to say
I'm pretty sure I've seen you eat one before?
Not Captain Crunch.
Must have been Fruity Pebbles.
I had one that was a s'mores one.
That was pretty good.
Sounds pretty good.
Well, I'm not eating it right now,
so I don't remember
Did we give away all the donuts?
Or do you want to save those for you?
No no I just wanted to eat this one
Grab another donut Sean
Alright here we go
Give him a good target
Where's BB-8?
Did you hear my dad out there?
Throw it Sean Can you's BB-8? Did you hear my dad out there? Throw it, Sean!
There he is.
Hit BB-8.
Can you hit BB-8?
Maybe.
I'm sorry.
I know that that hit a person, and I apologize.
I tried to pick the cleanest one, but they're all sloppy fucks in here, so like...
Who wants a piece of gum?
Voodoo donuts are sloppy fucks.
New slogan.
Omaha, Nebraska last week in May, too.
I just remembered that.
At the Crom Comedy Festival.
Omaha!
All right, so take away the... Now Jeff's going to get the box out of here.
Oh, he just...
Passed it right to Six Finger Tim.
The most deserving
audience member.
You want one, Rasta Jeff?
Rasta Jeff's good.
I like how the lights are just on now.
Yeah, because they don't...
It's easier to clean up later
if you know exactly where the spills are.
Oh.
That guy wanted a donut
more than he wanted...
Is that a finger?
It's a finger, isn't it?
Is that supposed to be a finger?
I'm not throwing another donut.
Oh, give the finger one to Tim.
Gabe had a good point.
Gabe said that, I didn't say it.
It's not a microphone.
It's a finger, homeboy. Get rid of it.
You dickhead.
Oh.
Yeah, that damn ceiling got in the way again.
This is so harsh.
I don't operate like this.
There's some serious collateral damage.
Wow, this is quite a snack.
It's so messy. It's so messy.
It's so messy.
Jeff, get your bench.
No more.
Well, that was fun, Jeff.
He's throwing it underhand and hitting the ceiling.
No excuse for that.
I'm not, like, known as an athlete.
Yeah, you're more of a mathlete yeah I threw
six donuts
good reflexes
maybe you're better at catching than pitching
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't know why you guys are laughing,
but that is probably true.
Baseball.
Are we talking about baseball?
I thought we were talking about butt plugs.
You guys don't...
Like, butt plugs here?
We're super liberal,
but nothing in the butt.
Gabe, do you...
Does Gabe have any plugs?
Nice transition.
You can see Gabe in the bathroom in a few minutes.
Throw one left-handed.
See how cool you look.
You should...
All right, I'm done.
Jeff, Jeff.
Come on, just pretend that I'm in charge
and wait until I tell you to throw the donuts.
I'm trying to do Gabe's plugs,
and you're just hurling them.
You're throwing like you're a fucking tennis ball machine.
I misunderstood.
I thought you wanted me to throw them.
Gabe?
Gabe underscore Dylan on Twitter.
Gang Doug with High tomorrow and forever.
The alley as well.
Outback of this place.
You don't have any products to push?
Honey farm.
Yeah.
There you go.
All right.
Thanks.
It is funny that they left the lights up.
That is kind of like... It's kind of like saying that the donut throwing is continuing.
So go ahead, Jeff.
Next time you're doing your plugs,
I'll give the other comics donuts to throw
while you're trying to get people to listen
to what you're trying to say.
Honestly, I could probably use the time.
Nobody likes that natural born...
I want to get that natural born killers one.
Give me one.
Business face.
Oh! Give me one. Business face. Throw it like Dennis Eckersley, dude.
Sidearm.
My gosh.
I hit Mickey and Mallory right in the face.
Just Mickey.
Do you want to throw one, Gabe?
Really messy.
I apologize.
They are fucking messy.
You just threw a bunch of crumbs on everybody.
If there's no solid donuts, we could stop.
It was a magic trick.
The donut just disappeared when he threw it.
Thanks, Shannon.
All right.
I got a plug, I think.
Maybe.
Is that okay, Jeff?
Yes.
Douglovesmovies.com one more time for jeff tate sean jordan and gabe dylan Now it's time to tell you what to call your hockey Rise and roll the queue and call us Big Tim Hockey
There's no real reason for you
Cause the club's boobies
It's not even remotely the end cue for the show.
Don't know why the music came on.
But I'm gonna leave it in
because that sort of stuff is fun.
It's not because the sound guy is high,
I can tell you that.
Gonna read a couple of shitheads.
As I always do.
Then after that second one,
we get to hear that song again.
Fingers crossed.
Hickenlooper is a shithead.
I know, controversial one, right?
But I think we can all agree
that having 11 fingers tonight
is a shithead.