Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Travis McElroy and Dan Van Kirk guest
Episode Date: July 9, 2018Live from Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Travis McElroy and Dan Van Kirk to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy No...tice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody.
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again...
from Go Bananas in Cincinnati, Ohio!
Yeah!
Oh, this just in, we're in Montgomery.
It's Sunday, July 8th, 2018,
and I can always count on you guys when I come to this club to make some name tags.
So let's
go ahead and see them.
We've got Star Patrick over there.
We've got
Tarmy of Darkness.
What's your name?
Tarmy, last name.
Your last name is Tarmy?
So Tarmy of Darkness.
What's your first name? Danny. You should have put
that on there too. Danny Tarmy of Darkness. But still, great work. Attack of the Kila
Tomatoes? Your name's Kila? Oh, okay. That's a good one. Ryan game. I get it.
I get it, Ryan.
I get what game you're playing at.
There, of course, is Paula Land.
She participated earlier in the stand-up show today.
Lots of great ones out there.
Lots of great options for my guests.
Good luck to everybody.
Yeah, I see it, Curious
George.
Doug plugs.
It's so hard. The stage lighting here
is, for some reason, brighter
in my face than on my piece
of paper. But
I'm going to work it out.
Because I wrote these things down
myself so I should know what it says Tuesday night July 10th this Tuesday
it's my annual Dab's day show and this year it's at the Ann Arbor comedy
showcase next Saturday July 14th of those movies returns to Wise Guys in Salt Lake City at 4.20.
And I'm proud to be doing a 4.20 show in a Mormon city.
I gotta say, because none of them say anything to me about it.
They're cool.
They don't come to the show, but they don't stop it either.
I'll be back at Comic-Con in San Diego
with shows at the American Comedy Company
on July 18th and 21st.
For all my dates and dates and links,
go to Douglovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com!
Yeah!
Well, that was so crazy perfect.
From the Shit I Forgot to Say department
on yesterday's show,
I forgot to say
what the theme was
at the end of
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
All of the films in that game
were directed by Chris Columbus.
Yeah, what we did a show yesterday in Columbus.
Yeah, so today, look forward to the answer
at some point being Cincinnati.
Which all I could think of was the HBO series
Jesus of Cincinnati.
Cincinnati WKRP.
In Cincinnati.
That's all I got.
But, no, that probably won't come up today.
Let's look at the prize bag.
I brought it all the way through,
I was going to say customs, but that's not right.
TSA, let me bring you guys this.
It's a rubber bong from Peacemaker
yeah so there it is
in the state of Ohio
also a t-shirt that's from
Grav Labs
and then a
one of my CDs
and a
Douglas movies
sticker and
a I saw Taylor Swift in Columbus last night.
And they...
She said at one point in her concert,
she goes, I can't believe all these people in Columbus
gave their Saturday night up to be here with me.
And I'm like, there's nothing
better going on
on a Saturday night in
Columbus. I mean, I like
it there, but come on.
Come on, Tay-Tay.
So they give you these wristbands when
you go in, and not
only do they say you should recycle them
and give them back when you leave,
I skipped that step. I still have mine. But the last one I got, it blinked for a couple
days and then this one stopped blinking immediately. So anyway, it's just a dead white, pointless, Taylor Swift wristband is going in the prize bag. And then the most
exciting thing that I have right now from our friend who's a frequent guest on the show,
he's going to be back soon, film critic, esteemed film critic Leonard Maltin. He wrote a book
called Hooked on Hollywood, Discoveries from a Lifetime of Film Fandom and
he gave me a copy
I read through the
all the things that says on the back of the book
and
it seems like an amazing
amazing thing
for a film fan to read
I can't wait to hear about it from anybody
who does and that's
going in the prize bag,
along with the stuff that's been brought here tonight
by my three guests.
Please give it up for Travis McElroy,
Dan Van Kirk, and Jeff Tate!
Thank you! Wait, now is it becoming tater?
That's not good.
Okay, it's just tate.
Okay.
Let's meet them all individually.
Is it a little cramped up here?
It's cool, right?
Hi, Doug.
Hi, how are you doing?
I'm doing great.
First time guest on the show, everybody.
Let's hear it for Travis McElroy.
Travis McElroy.
Participant in over a thousand podcasts.
Correct.
Lots of podcasts, but what would be your tent pole?
The My Brother, My Brother, and Me?
Yeah, that or Adventure Zone, I think,
is the biggest.
Right, you guys listen to those?
Yeah.
Okay.
I would say my favorite, though,
is Till Death Do Us Blart.
Okay, I love this already.
What's the premise of this one?
It's a once-a-year podcast that comes out every Thanksgiving
where me and my brothers Justin and Griffin
and Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt from The Worst Idea of All Time
watch and review Paul Blart Mall Cop 2.
And it is
going to go on for the rest of linear time
we have already picked the people who will replace us when we die
and so we have so far done
three episodes
and we've never seen Paul Blart Mall Cop 1
and at this point I think like Stockholm Syndrome has formed one.
And at this point, I think Stockholm Syndrome has formed, and I really fucking
enjoyed it this year.
I count the number of times I laughed.
The first year, 11. Second year,
12. Third year, 20.
So...
You know, there's some subtle stuff
in there.
It really gets you on the third one.
And repeat viewings really help, yeah.
Like, oh, now I get it, Blart.
Now I know what you were going for.
Paul Blart, Monk Hot 2 is the first movie my baby has ever watched.
She sat with me when she was two months old and watched it.
So now she's got that going for her.
And you can really tell now at 20 months
it's not great.
Oh yeah, is she riding a Segway
around the house?
She falls down and farts and everyone laughs.
She's real thirsty
for jokes.
Alright.
Well, thank you for being here.
And do you feel comfortable?
These guys have both been on the show a bunch of times.
Are you okay with playing movie trivia games with repeat guests that kind of know their way around what's happening?
I'm real comfortable with failure.
And so, yeah, I don't feel a lot of pressure to perform.
And so I'm okay coming dead last.
That's a strength that I bring.
I don't have a lot of bravado.
I'm not going to pretend like I'm going to win.
I'm comfortable in third place.
Well, in the last game, I tend to play along, so
you might be able to even have
your claim to fame. I lost to everyone,
even the host.
I'm not okay with fourth place, so
when we get to that, I'm going to watch out.
Okay, then you're gonna fight it out.
And I like that about you.
And I like this about my next guest.
He, uh...
Every time he goes to the gym,
after that, he takes a shower.
It's a very likable trait in a person.
Like, when somebody fucking goes to the gym,
and then they go hang out with you,
and they're all BO-ing because they were at the gym,
they couldn't take a shower, fuck those people.
That's my shithead if I put a shithead on the back of a name tag.
Daniel Van Kirk is here, everybody!
Hello!
DVK!
It's great to be a guest.
Yes, of course, you know him from the Dumb People Town
and with the Sklar Bros.
And, you know, just revealed yesterday,
if you guys haven't heard the Columbus episode yet.
Spoiler alert.
Well, we had some things to work through today in the car.
Last night I found out that he's been Mark Wahlberg this entire time.
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't need to hear that.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry dude
either do my thing
what the fuck
don't fuck with me like that
dude I'm still here
and I still love you dude
don't
I'm still inside here
oh I don't like
I don't care for this
there is some demon shit happening
this is pretty scary
like do you think in Tootsie
or Mrs. Doubtfire
anyone around them was like,
do the voice again just for fun.
Just keep doing that deceitful voice
that you did for all that time.
I'm sorry I tricked you.
You spy on us.
For so long.
Yeah, that was rude and it was a fun ride
and it's over, but I was going to say tonight,
that doesn't mean Mark Wahlberg can't show up from time to time, right?
Probably not. I don't see why not.
Okay, so there you go.
He's not completely retired, so don't worry about that.
And thanks for being here today, dude.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for...
I can't tell you how happy I am about the next pair of pants and shirt.
Because... Yay. how happy I am about the next pair of pants and shirt. Because when a man goes out of his way
to have palm trees on every garment
and then wears sunglasses
like he's going to,
he's watching the door at Margaritaville.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Jeff Tate. Woo!
Tate! Tate! Tate!
Well, Doug, I got a real tasty piece of advice recently.
They said, dress for the job you want,
and I want to be on vacation.
So I dress like this now.
Yeah.
Right?
I got these sunglasses on.
I've gone Hollywood.
Thanks for having me.
What's that?
I'm not... Oh, normally I have, like, follow-up questions,
but there's nothing else about you
I want to talk about right now.
You covered it all.
I'm good.
You did well yesterday in Columbus,
and you're back tonight to compete against these two fellas.
What do you think your chances are?
How do you think you're going to do tonight?
Well, I mean, I've never seen either one of these guys on the show before.
So I bet I'll do all right.
Technically true.
I think you'll win.
I'm rooting for you.
I mean, we all think
he's going to win.
That's why we chant his name
whenever we get the chance.
Take, take, take, take, take, take.
The audience being like, oh, it's our chance.
There's nothing better than pulling a chant out of people.
Come on, you guys, please.
That's like the laugh, please thing that Lutz has not said.
Take my laugh, please.
Right?
Yeah, all I have next to your name
as far as the interview part, Jeff,
is just that I wish that they were chanting
hate, hate, hate.
Hate, hate, hate.
Yes, we're going to get that going too.
Then when they both chant them together
it still sounds like Tate
because T is a dominant.
Because Tate overcomes hate.
Right? Yes. because T is a dominant because Tate overcomes hate right yes
no hate all Tate
2018
you've got merch
yeah I do back there
it's a CD we'll talk about it at the end
it's fate don't be late
Tate Tate okay so It's fate, don't be late.
Tate, Tate.
Okay, so...
I have a question I ask everybody before we get to the games portion of the show.
Well, a couple of questions, actually.
Jeff, what did you bring for the prize bag?
Sorry to ask you mid-bottle...
I was taking a drink man
water
bottle drinking
about a copy of my album
closing
it's called
People Are Where People Make Them
it's the perfect thing
to look at and remember
it's on Spotify
I should listen to that
on Spotify
and I brought a lightly used
Pickle Rick pipe
Impressive Yeah I just lightly used Pickle Rick pipe.
Impressive.
Yeah.
I just might, like, my fingers are too fat to make the refill it up part work.
So I'm going to play for a small fingered person.
And hopefully you'll enjoy.
That's a pretty cool pipe.
I like it.
All right, Jeff, thank you.
What do you got there, Daniel?
Uh, I brought just a little bag of snacks
for somebody to have a fun night
in their studio apartment.
Microwavable Kraft macaroni and cheese.
Which is good enough when you can't get spirals.
That's how I live my life. And then, uh, you can't get spirals.
That's how I live my life.
And then you can pretend you're hanging out with my grandma
and have some Pop Secret popcorn.
Well, you watch your stories.
Oh, yeah.
Knotts Landing and Falcon Crest.
That's real life that I just gave out to the world.
And then close it out with a Kit Kat bar.
See?
Almost as good as a whatchamacallit, but not quite.
Give me a break.
Do it.
Give me a break.
Not as good as a whatchamacallit.
Give me a take five. Give me a break. Not as good as a watchamac, call it. Give me a take five.
Give me a take five.
I thought you were going to go, give me a tate.
Give me a tate.
Break me off a chant of that tate.
No, no, no, no.
Yes!
Tate, tate, tate, tate.
Guys, we did that together.
It takes a comedy club.
What's this podcast where they keep chanting about taint?
I'm hoping people chant taint at some point.
Or just a lot of angry capitalists
who just yell take over and over again.
Okay, but seriously, what'd you bring for the prize bag?
Nothing.
I'm just joking around.
Travis, what do you have for us?
Well, I cleaned out my prize closet.
Love it.
I brought some My Brother, My Brother and Me
and Adventure Zoo live show posters,
including one signed by like all the McElroys.
Very nice. There's like nine ofys. So that's in there.
There's like nine of us, so that's in there.
And then I brought a board game called Get Lucky,
the Kill Dr. Lucky card game.
That's in there.
A card game called Movie Buff,
that I thought would be appropriate.
Sure.
A sweet Galaxy Quest badge thing.
Ooh.
A couple Adventure Zone badges.
And then some branded Doctor Who sunglasses.
Oh, I'll take those. Yep, those are not making it into the bag.
For the listener at home, what I said happened.
For the listener at home,
I'm going to make a run at that Galaxy Quest patch.
It's really nice that the Loot Crate original.
I don't want to brag.
He's making a run.
Crate, crate, crate, crate.
Yeah, yeah, everyone.
I got some really sticky donuts over here.
Ooh.
I don't know why they get stickier
every time somebody brings donuts to the stage.
Somebody over here...
Ah, you don't know sticky.
I'll show you sticky.
Okay, so everybody gave prizes.
Oh, one more question.
Jeff Tate, you're under oath.
Tell the truth!
What was the last
motion picture that you saw
man I don't want to tell the truth
it was
let's see
it was Sicario
Soledad O'Brien
that's not the right title but we know what you're talking about Soledad O'Brien.
That's not the right title, but we know what you're talking about.
Did you like it?
It felt like I didn't want to watch it now.
Right?
Like, that's how I felt the whole time I was watching it was like, today?
You're going to have me have this movie out today?
It's like a lot of shit about the border and stuff and it's like just how about you just make this come out 10 years ago or whatever or 50 years from now that's how I felt like I wish
I had a time machine that's I mean I don't know if that's a good review but
oh well they're gonna sell a lot of time machines based off of it.
Finally, the push that time machines have been waiting for.
Yeah, there wasn't a market for them before.
We just don't know what the need is.
How do we push the need?
I know, we'll release a car here.
how do we push the need I know we'll release
a car here
so is your
is your final review Jeff
why do we need thumbs
why do we have to
drag thumbs into this
yeah yeah
let's just say I saw it
and leave it at that
I saw it
and leave it at that
like there was a lady
snoring and I was like
I was kind of like
jealous she's right like I didn't want to wake her up I saw it and leave it at that. Like, there was a lady snoring, and I was like, I was kind of, like...
Jealous.
She's right.
Like, I didn't want to wake her up,
because I felt, I was like, man, I envy her.
I got to watch all this.
It was just mean.
It felt mean.
They're super comfortable, though,
the chairs in these theaters these days,
the ones that recline.
It's crazy.
It's like, I'm used to reclining for
a super long flight
and you get into
the movie theater and you
recline and it's like, I'm going to do the same thing
I do on flights. I'm going to
fart a lot.
I'm going to probably
throw up. I was talking for so
long there, I was like, I got to get to some sort of
laugh at the end of this fucking boring pointless movie. I think talking for so long there. I was like, I got to get to some sort of laugh at the end of this fucking boring pointless rant.
I think I know what you mean.
You watch Sicario on a plane.
Yeah.
What about you, Dan?
What was the last movie you saw?
I saw a documentary called Vannin.
Has anyone seen this?
It's on Amazon right now.
Some people are excited.
It's about people who
customize their conversion van
and then meet up and hang out.
It answers the question,
what happened to your uncle no one talks to?
This was like a huge thing in the 70s.
Like 6,000 Vanons would show up
and now it's like 600 in Elkhorn, Wisconsin.
Did you say all of this
as Mark Wahlberg on the last episode?
I did not. Okay, good.
I talked about, or Mark talked about
Three Identical Strangers.
Where did I hear about that movie
from you before? Vannon? Yeah.
We talked about it on the 4th of July
at a party. Okay.
Wait. I'm sorry.
I get my life confused with podcasts.
So you're at a party telling me
all this van and stuff?
Yeah, and you need to see it.
It's an hour long and it
is a
petri dish of people.
I was in until you said
that.
It's something.
It's something you'd slow down for
and look at
in a van.
It's only an hour long.
It's a horribly made documentary.
You started at selling it and you're working on it.
No, no, no. I'm going to be honest with you. It's not well
made. They're like, oh, look at that van over
there. And in every other film, you would just
cut to the van. They literally
slowly turn the camera around.
But it's good?
Just the characters in it are just
perfect.
Yeah, it's interesting.
And it's called Vanon. Oh, it's interesting. And it's called Vannin.
Oh, man.
I mean...
I could have done that at any point
during your boring Vann story.
Well, it's gonna be until you go
Vannin in your own life. All I gotta do is
pull out a donut. Quick question.
Vannin, like with an apostrophe?
No G? No G. I'm telling you,
it's a lot of divorced uncles.
I thought it was like Van-canon.
Van-in.
Van-in.
Van-in.
Thank you, guys.
For the listener at home, I'm being cheered for this story.
Who would like a donut?
All right, Luke, I'm going to try to hit you, man.
Light in his hands. Yeah! All right, Luke, I'm gonna try to hit you, man.
Whoa! Right in his hands.
For the listener at home,
the donut hit him and killed him.
That was like the end of Rookie of the Year.
You just floated it.
Luke died doing what he loved,
getting hit in the face with a donut.
What was the last movie
you saw, Travis?
In any format,
it doesn't mean how you saw it.
Just most recent.
I just re-watched
Kingsman 1 and 2.
Really?
Like you watched them
back to back as a double?
Yeah, that's the best way
to watch them in my opinion.
I like that. That's fun. I consider them one movie. as a double? Yeah, that's the best way to watch them in my opinion. I like that.
That's fun.
I consider them one movie.
Oh, really?
I don't.
That would be a strong statement to make.
Yeah, I was, oh.
Oh.
It's part one and part two.
Okay, let's talk about that for a while.
But yeah, two parts and...
I like a movie that knows what it is.
Kingsman knows what it is.
It's not trying to be something else. I also like a movie that knows what it is. Kingsman knows what it is. It's not trying to be something else.
I also like a sequel that says,
we're just going to make this, but like 5% more.
It's like a lazy raise.
That's what I want.
I'm just like a cost of living sequel.
I enjoy that a lot.
Like John Wick and John Wick 2.
They said, you like John Wick?
There's more John Wick?
And I was like, yes, exactly.
Yeah, they didn't have to change shit.
Yeah. In fact, they just, you Yeah, they didn't have to change shit. Yeah. In fact,
they just, you know, they didn't kill his dog that time because we were still grieving
from the first dog.
And there was no way they could put us through that again.
Like, I think any dog John wick owns
is pretty safe. Yeah, it's a bulletproof dog.
I mean,
that dog is good.
That dog will meet back up with him at the end.
John, how are you?
Oh, no, you look like shit.
If they kill three dogs in that series in total,
it'll just be the movies that kill dogs.
Like, they can't... Well, unless they make, like, 12 of them.
And then I think you'd kill three dogs
spread out over 12 movies.
I think if three dogs died in James Bond movies,
they'd be like,
I think they just killed dogs in these movies. I think if three dogs died in James Bond movies, they'd be like, I think they just killed dogs in these movies.
I hope they make a million John Wick
movies. I wish the most
recent movie I had watched was the John Wick movies.
I'm gonna go watch
the John Wick movies now, if you'll excuse me.
It'd just be very odd
to stop after chapter three,
you know, because they call them chapters,
the John Wick movies, because they're just chapters in John Wick movies because they're just
books you can't put down.
What else is Keanu Reeves doing
except Squarespace commercials?
Aww.
He is.
He is doing Squarespace commercials.
He's also the voice of a kitten
in a dream sequence in a movie
directed by the man who did Get Out.
I don't know if he directed Keanu.
But what were we talking about?
Did you like it?
I did.
I love it.
That's the thing.
It's that weird thing of like, I don't think it's a great movie, but it's a really fun movie.
It's a movie that knows what it is.
Are we talking about John Wick,
Keanu, or The Kingsman 1 or 2?
Oh, I was kind of blanking.
No, The Kingsman,
like, that's the thing, is like, the idea
of like, no spoilers,
but like, the director said
no one stays dead and we can do whatever the fuck
we want in the movie. It's like, alright, so you
know what you're doing. You're making
that specific movie and you know what you're doing. You're making that specific movie
and you're making it very well.
Okay. So back off,
Doug.
I'm a huge
fan of the first Kingsman and then the second
one, for some reason, I didn't
connect with it the same
way I did with the first one. Was it Channing Tatum?
You know what? Channing
Tatum, to me, is a consistent delight.
Delightful.
I think for me it was...
I gotta say, that's where the movie sort of broke down for me,
is when he first appears, he's kind of like,
this is gonna be a real fun character for Channing to do,
and he has some moments, but it doesn't really add up to much.
And then the biggest crime of all
is having Jeff Bridges play a character
that does or says nothing of interest.
Yes.
It's a very bad character for Jeff Bridges.
But other things about the movie are very good,
so I'd recommend it.
But I just didn't love it as much as I did the first one.
The movie promises a lot of Channing Tatum
that it does not deliver,
and that's what I think is the only thing
I do not like about the movie.
It's like, he was in all the publicity and stuff
and I'm like, oh, he's literally frozen
for two-thirds of
the movie.
Who is he, Han Solo?
Oh, fuck.
He's frozen in
that movie? I've seen that movie a couple
of times. He's frozen?
That's where he goes?
I'm like... Wait, are you talking about Han Solo or
Channing Tatum no Channing Tatum yeah listen I got we'll do some of this after
like I got follow-ups but for after the show we'll talk about it later
All right.
Let's see.
Oh, wow, we're there already.
Let's do this.
Turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
Travis, we got a lot of name tags.
All you got to do is pick one,
and you'll play for that person.
Lots of good ones to choose from.
Great job, everybody.
The pageantry, the drama.
It's all there in these signs.
Who traveled from the furthest away to be here tonight not me okay
narrows it down it could be anyone else anyone else in the crowd could have been
the one to drive who drove more than an hour to be here you guys did you guys
did how long for you two Two hours, they say.
How long over there?
Two hours, we gotta match.
Make love, you guys.
Three and a half, where is that from, Luke?
Champagne, Illinois.
The beer of all cities.
In Illinois. Yeah, people didn't know that about that
about champagne
I got
relatives from champagne actually
yeah
we'll talk about it
alright we're almost at the conclusion
of the name tag choosing ceremony
this is why
I usually go to commercial break
during the podcast.
I just want to remind the listeners
of how grateful they should be
that they don't have to listen to that part.
And thank you, everybody.
What happened?
Somebody said, is that your brother?
I don't know. Okay. What happened? Somebody said, is that your brother? Tate, Tate, Tate.
Okay, Tate, Tate, Tate.
I like that that's a great portnest.
Yeah.
If there's a chance for a skirmish
either here or at McGleavy's Pub,
just start chanting Tate
and everybody will just snap to
and be cool.
By the way, McGleavy's is closed right now,
so we can't after-party there.
I know. I've always loved going there.
I especially loved it before McLeavy's.
It was called Sneaky Pete's
because it was just fun just being in a bar that's all sneaky.
And in the back of...
Where's the bar? Oh, it's in a village near's all sneaky. And in the back of, you know, where's the bar?
Oh, it's in a village near the Koi Pond
in Montgomery, Ohio.
And what do you got for a name tag there, Jeff?
I'm playing for Troy Story.
It lights up.
I guess his name is Troy.
He put my picture on it.
Okay.
So you're okay with picking your own name tag now?
You made me pick for you the last episode.
Yeah, but I didn't...
I mean, it felt like you then picked the name tag begrudgingly,
so I wanted to shake it up a little bit
and be like, I can fly, Doug.
Let me leave.
Let me get back out of the nest.
All right.
And then I got scared and I picked this one.
It's got you on it.
Yeah.
Good choice.
Okay, put it down.
Dan, who are you playing on behalf of?
Paul.
It says, The behalf of? Paul. It says,
The Wolf of Paul Street.
A Martin Scorsese picture.
You don't have to read the words.
The D didn't change.
I don't think that's part of the goof.
Oh, all right.
And then you're in it, and Jeff Tate is in it.
I like that one.
That's a good one.
Yeah, I thought it was nice and clean.
I feel like I've seen it before.
Have I seen it before?
Yes.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, well, then I am picking a new name tag.
No!
Dan.
All right, what do you got, Travis?
I have Beavis from Beavis and Butthead do Rebecca.
That's the one that I picked.
And this person chose that.
So let me be clear, this is not a joke I'm making.
I assume Rebecca made this joke.
And I enjoy it.
And the Beavis, let me just say,
because of a lot of accessories,
basket of nachos, a drink, a Spank magazine,
there's a lot going on with this toy.
Worth the price.
If you see one floating around somewhere, I would buy it.
Do I give it to you now?
Do you want yours?
Do we return these?
Here, I'll take it.
No, I'll be all right with it.
I'll be gentle.
See, it's got a potential shithead on the back there.
We don't want to reveal that.
Oh, no!
Doug, you said you'd be gentle!
Oh, no.
All I did was drop it to the floor
from a tall stool. That's gentle. Oh, no. All I did was drop it to the floor from a tall stool.
That's not inherently gentle, though.
Look at how intact it is.
Might have internal injuries, though.
We'll never know.
All right.
The first game we're going to play
is called Live, Die, Repeat.
I'm going to say the name
of a motion picture.
This is a real motion picture
that was really out
and people went,
hey, look at this motion picture.
First person to repeat it back
completely and correctly
is the winner.
Only the people on stage
are competing, of course.
And good luck
to each of you. Does anybody have any
pre-guesses?
Purple rain. Or questions?
Purple rain?
Neither? You're good?
Everybody's good?
Yeah.
Lucas.
Kingsman.
The Golden Circle.
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
I'm just going to say the title.
I'm going to say it slowly.
Mm-hmm.
First person to repeat back the whole title is the winner. I'm just gonna say the title, I'm gonna say it slowly. First person to repeat back the whole title is the winner.
Say it really slow.
Look good, feel good. Look good, feel good.
That felt weird.
That's just a thing I say before I...
Gotcha.
I always say look great, feel great. I don't know why you guys don't shoot for the. Gotcha. I always say look great,
feel great. I don't know why you guys
don't shoot for the moon here.
I mean, you're just making a wish.
I just say, this is what we're dealing with.
Great. Great.
This is what we're dealing with. Make the best
of it.
Okay, at least he changed it up a little.
The message stays on brand. Here we go.
I'm going to get a little Tito's in my gullet.
Hit the ceiling,'s still gonna eat it
Tell
Me
Lies
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
Oh wow
Tell me
Tell me
That You love me Tell me that you love me Tell me that...
You love me. Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you love me, too.
Tell me that you love me a lot.
Tell me that you love me.
Doug?
Tell me that You love me. Doug. Tell me that you
love me.
Junie.
Tell me that you love me, Junie.
Bloom. Junie Bloom.
Tell me that you
love me.
I feel like you're an alien
learning English.
He's trying to tell us, folks. He can do it. It's like you're an alien learning English.
He's trying to tell us, folks.
He can do it.
He can do it.
This is his first time. Tell me.
Tell me that you love me, Judy.
Do it that way.
Okay.
Tell me that you love me, Judy Moon.
Tell me that you love me, Judy Moon Moon. Tell me you love me, Junie Moon.
I think Dan is our winner.
Someone is going to take that segment of this show
and make the best EDM song ever.
From 1970, starring Liza Minnelli,
tell me that you love me, Junie Moon.
I'll trust you.
Back then, they could do that.
Yeah, like I'd make up a fucking Junie Moon.
Ooh.
Yeah, this guy.
Why would I?
You guys sound like you're-
Oh, you make it up movies.
Yeah.
The weed is good in Cincinnati. You guys sound like you're... Oh, you're making up movies. Hey! Eee!
The weed is good in Cincinnati.
Eee!
Oh, it's gauche,
but I clean my fingers after the donuts by dunking them in my vodka.
I think that that's the meta.
I think doctors would approve.
And dead would.
Alright, this next game we're going to play is called
Whose Tagline
Is It Anyway?
I'm going to say a tagline to,
we'll start with Dan
because he won that game.
I'm going to say a tagline
from a motion picture to Dan.
He gets one guess.
If he doesn't get it,
if he doesn't name the movie,
then it moves to Jeff
and then to Travis.
And we'll just keep going like that.
Each get one shot at each one, theoretically.
Great explanation, Doug.
You know what I'm going to start doing, though?
I'm going to start talking to myself.
You know how you talk to yourself throughout the day?
I started talking to myself in Christian Bale's Batman voice.
It's gonna hurt.
Great story, Doug.
Just ignore Dan, Doug.
I'm just gonna talk to myself that way.
I think I'll really get a lot done.
He's a real sarcastic.
Newsflash, your keys.
That kind of thing.
I can't tell if it's sarcastic or not.
You're doing great.
Am I?
Oh, man.
Close the refrigerator.
Okay, Jesus, is that what happens now?
There's no more crime?
I'm not air conditioning the out of doors.
Like Batman's just like the super.
Like his reign of power.
You get it.
I got tongue tied, but instead of solving crimes and stuff, he's just like, close that.
Shut that off.
It's chilly, grab a jacket.
What are you, born in a barn?
Oh, I worry.
No, it's just to myself that I said that.
I worry I'll get cold.
I live under my roof.
Oh, man.
All right, so...
Dan gets to go first.
Great.
What movie has this tagline?
Probably not the one I'll say.
You know, if you're going to have that kind of attitude...
Well, I'm going to try.
You can do it.
No, that's the tagline.
If you're going to have that kind of attitude. Oh, shit. No, that's the tagline. If you're going to have that kind of attitude.
Oh, shit.
No, it's the actual tagline.
Kindergarten cop?
Is, you can't stop what's coming.
I don't know if it's meant to be read that way.
Let me read it another way.
You can't stop what's coming.
You can't stop what's coming. You can't stop what's coming.
Unstoppable?
You know what?
I mean, not a bad guess,
but also not a right guess.
Damn it.
Jeff?
Is it 2012?
I mean, no, it isn't, but I was also just thinking about it
as a tagline for that in general, and I do not approve.
You can't stop what's coming, Travis.
Armageddon?
Another great guess.
I don't know why anyone would come up with this,
but in this game, you know, themes emerge.
This particular answer is no country for old men.
What?
Yeah, you can't stop what's coming.
Just imagine Tommy Lee Jones saying it.
You can't stop what's coming.
Oh, not a good Tommy Lee Jones saying it. You gotta stop my Tommy! Oh, not a good Tommy Lee Jones.
Let's all try to do Tommy Lee Jones impressions.
I want you to search every outhouse, doghouse.
That's good!
That's the voice you should talk to yourself in.
Especially when it comes to searching.
You left that window open.
Now we're looking for our keys.
I want to know every cushion, every chair,
in the refrigerator, because that one time...
Oh, the front door.
I always leave them there.
I meant to say the day after tomorrow.
It still would have been wrong.
But it would have been closer.
It's true.
I meant to say a different wrong answer.
How about a good one for
you can't stop what's coming is nine months.
Also a good one for that is
Rosemary's Baby.
Or Boogie Nights.
That's gross.
I don't get it.
He means it the sex way.
Dan, you get to go first.
All right.
New tagline.
Everybody gets a crack at it if you are a crack addict.
Crack, crack, crack.
Okay.
The longer you wait,
the harder it gets.
Again, could go boogie nights on this.
The longer you wait, the harder... Wait, it took a really long time
for it to get hard in Boogie Nights?
In that one scene?
Man, the longer you wait,
the harder it gets.
Did you just do a line of coke
before trying to figure out the answer?
No, no, no.
The longer it waits, the harder it gets.
Fuck.
Do you think it's something Yoda once said?
Do you want us to all try those?
The longer it waits,
the harder it gets.
That's the winner.
The longer it waits, though.
The longer you wait?
Huh?
The longer you wait, the harder it gets?
Or the longer it waits, the harder it gets?
Give me the two answers you'd give
based on the two different
things it could be. Well, if it's the longer you wait, What answers you'd give based on the two different things
that it could be?
Well, if it's the longer you wait, the harder it gets.
I've got to go Virgin Suicides.
OK.
It could be something about concrete.
If it's the longer it waits, the harder it gets.
No, it's the first one.
Oh, shit.
OK. All right, we'll go with Virgin Su one. Oh, shit. Okay.
All right, we'll go with Virgin Suicides.
You're wrong.
You're wrong.
Travis?
The longer you wait.
Wait.
Yeah, the longer you wait, the harder it gets.
I'm going to say, I don't know which number, but one of the Saw movies.
All right.
First of all, I'd be amazed.
I mean, that'd be great if it was one of the Saw movies.
But also, I would not accept no number.
Saw.
Okay, wait.
That was a trick.
Now I know it's not the Saw movies.
I didn't say that.
But also, I haven't, you know, when
Saw came out,
I was like, I'm not gonna see Saw.
And
when Saw 2 came out, I was like, I'm not gonna see
Saw 2.
Keep going.
And then?
Do not give up on this bit.
There are people listening at work right now
who need you to finish this bit.
It's all we've got.
Come on.
But there are... Come on Um But um
Um
I saw
Saw three
And it was pretty good
Thank you
Twelve monkeys
I never saw
Three ninjas
12 monkeys
Is that what we're doing?
Alright so the longer
You wait
The harder it gets
Was the tagline for
Oh wait did Jeff guess?
Oh Jeff didn't guess?
Okay it was
The tagline for the movie
Was what title?
Man I don't know
I'm gonna say Here's I'm't know. I'm going to say
I'm going to say this.
I'm going to say
Dr. T and the Women.
Because I actually
can back that up
like why I think it's that.
But I'm not going to.
It's Pinocchio.
No.
It is
The Forty-Year-Old Virgin. The is the 40-year-old virgin.
40-year-old virgin.
That makes sense.
Yeah, sure it does.
Totally makes sense.
All right, so Dan gets to start us off again.
Great.
And the tagline is,
And the tagline is,
ask not why you were imprisoned,
ask why you were set free.
I mean, Shawshank Redemption?
No.
Damn it.
Dan, I mean...
Yeah, I'll go again.
Sorry, Dan.
It's your game. You can change it.
Go, Dan.
Dan.
Yep.
Jeff, Dan.
Is it my turn? Yep. Dan. Is it my turn?
Yep.
Okay.
Is it...
I don't...
Man, I don't even know.
I can't fucking come up with any pattern or anything.
I forgot what it was.
I can't even remember what the password is or whatever.
Tagline? Is that what it password is or whatever tagline is that what is that what it's called the tagline the heart fast not why you were
imprisoned asked why you were set free and then in
parentheses and we returned your belongings naturally well I'm gonna say
JFK
always a great guess
for the ask
I figured the ask not would get me closer than
anything else
ask not
why you were in prison
oh you know you're doing Peter Falk
I believe in you Travis Oh, man. Oh, now you're doing Peter Falk.
I believe in you, Travis.
What do you got, Travis?
People are going to be impressed.
Death Wraith?
Number, please.
2000.
No. No.
No, that was from the
Josh Brolin starring
Old Boy
Right? Oh shit
I do not know this theme
So far they're all Josh Brolin movies
You remember him in 40 Year Old Virgin
He played Michael McDonald
So we got No Country for Old Men year old virgin. He played Michael McDonald.
So we got no country for old men, 40 year old virgin
and old boy. Oh, it's all old.
Oh, is it? Old, old, old.
Oh, aren't you clever? Oh no, I gave it away
to my competitors. You might have,
yes. They didn't seem to know.
But Dan gets to go first
again. Somebody's
got to get a point on the board.
Dan.
Yes.
Why do men act like boys?
Because they can.
Grumpy old men.
Oh, great guess.
Incorrect.
Jeff.
Is it old dogs?
I like how much faster people are guessing. Jeff. Uh, is it old dogs?
I like how much faster people are guessing.
But no, it doesn't...
The accuracy's not improving.
Travis, what do you think?
I'm gonna do the $1 bid over and say grumpier old men.
Oh, clever move.
Uh, that was the tagline for a motion picture called Old School.
Fuck!
Old School.
Okay, I lied.
I'm very competitive.
I would like to win, please.
Wait, what'd I say?
Isn't that what... Okay, so we're going to...
This particular game has a tiebreaker.
Since no one got a point...
Since no one got a point, we have to have a shootout.
And it's much like live, die, repeat.
I'm just going to say a tagline, and then I have an
alternate tagline from the same motion picture.
Just all three of you guess as often as you like.
The first one to say the correct title wins
this whole game.
So we're guessing the title and not the alternate tagline.
No.
Although, I can't wait to play that game.
You guys have plans tonight?
Could you guess
word for word
the alternate tagline?
I would like to try.
All right, so for Alien, we've got
in space, no one can hear you scream.
I'm going to guess the alternate title
is
Why Do You Keep Going Back
for the Fucking Cat?
No, that's not it?
I'm surprised that that is
how they marketed that.
All right, so...
But it's a beautiful cat,
and ultimately one person survives,
so I guess that's good.
Spoiler.
How do you spoil Aliens 1
when it didn't have a 1 or an S?
All right, just free-for-all.
Everybody guess.
Sure.
On stage, people.
What movie has a tagline?
A 50-year fight.
Grumpy Old Men.
That's right.
Boom. Okay, and men. That's right. Boom.
Okay, and now for a bonus point.
What is the alternate tagline?
These old fucks hate each other.
Cold
ass fuck.
Right there, back to back, like,
with attitude, like, look,
these motherfuckers are ice
cold.
They had a Red Band trailer they're gonna try to fuck ann margaret
what you thought they'd get less grumpy oh wait it's the first one shit
oh wait it's the first one shit
grumpier old men
no self awareness at all
just move you dummies
that's why they were grumpy
because they're in people's way
no they were probably
yeah
neighbors
no I meant
they were always cold
like yeah just fucking
go where it's warm.
But they found common ground, then they went on a cruise.
Oh, that's the third one?
Out to Sea is the third one?
Fuck yeah.
What was the unofficial third movie in the Grumpy Old Men trilogy?
The Walter Matthau Jack Lemmon Universe.
You've heard of the Cornetto trilogy?
That was the pudding trilogy.
That was tapioca,
banana.
Tapioca Trilogy, yes.
And banana tapioca.
Do you have a guess
for the other tagline, Dan?
For grumpy old men?
I mean,
it's not funny,
but I'd probably go like
the oddest of couples.
Oh, that is,
that's not bad.
But, no,
they went with,
and this is so gross. Oh, jeez. You know how, like, Ann-Margaret's in it and But no, they went with, and this is so gross.
Oh, jeez.
You know how like Ann-Margaret's in it, and they're both in love with her?
Yeah.
Right?
And she's of a certain age, as are they, and it's all perfectly respectable.
They came up with the tagline,
the best of enemies until something came between them.
Something?
Yeah. That? Yeah.
That's problematic.
That's a person.
Yeah, that is not
hashtag me too at all.
This broad.
Wait, ruined their fight?
What?
Yeah, it should be
hashtag happy to be involved
or, you know.
Anyway.
That got too heavy.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
We played it earlier in the stand-up show,
and I'll share that audio with people
on an upcoming episode of
Douglas Minis but right now
we're going to play
the four of us but
Travis won that last game with the
Grumpy Old Men so you get to go
first in this and then
we'll go to Dan
and Jeff and then me. I like to
play along and we're going to take turns Jeff and then me. I like to play along.
And we're going to take turns naming movies by an actor or actress that's been supplied,
a name that's been supplied by an audience member.
Where is Man with Hobbies?
Right here.
All right.
What a specific and yet generic way to call for somebody.
Yeah, Man, with hobbies.
Are there any ones specifically,
or is that why you don't get into it in your Twitter handle,
because you have too many hobbies?
It's too much.
Yeah, too many to name.
All right.
And you think you have a good name
for a last-minute stand this evening?
Yeah.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Did I ask you to give me that name?
Hobby Barry.
Just everything's a hobby to this guy.
Philip Seymour Hobby.
What's your actual name, though, man with hobbies?
My name is Sean.
Sean, do you want a donut?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, here you go.
Got him.
You hit that guy hard, Doug.
I like that the people that it really went to,
they could pass it back.
They're like, we will put this on our table
and no one gets it.
It touched the floor.
It's trash.
Don't eat off this floor.
For real, don't eat off this floor.
You're not fucking kidding around.
All right, let's get serious.
Let's try again.
Where are you at?
I'm right here.
Okay, there he is.
Oh, this is gonna be easy.
Pretty close, right?
Sean, can I suggest the hobby
of making an effort to catch things?
Do you want to throw it?
Yeah, yeah.
Jeff wants to do it, or hand it.
So sticky.
Oh, frisbee throw, yeah.
No, I'm not going to throw it, man.
I treat these with respect.
I'm a bit of a donut connoisseur.
Glad you guys all get behind that movement to start respecting donuts.
Yeah, it's about time people respect the nut.
All right. all right what was the suggestion
Philip
Philip Seymour Hoffman
okay so great
respected actor
left us too soon but
lots of titles for us to say
but I'm going to dare say
that this panel
would like to have a second name.
Agreed.
Just to make it
possible for somebody
to maybe
beat Jeff Tate.
So where is...
At Zero Interests.
Oh, man.
Oh, wow!
It almost hit the Beavis doll.
Be careful.
Doll.
The Beavis doll.
I've never thrown a donut at another guest,
I don't think.
But I'm going to start doing that more often.
That's very satisfying.
Okay.
Where is Matt the Hare?
Hey, buddy.
Hey, dude.
Wait, settle down.
Let me pre-interview you before you give us a name.
Why Matt the Hare?
T-H-E-H-A-R-E.
That's my name.
Your name is Matt the Hare?
Yeah.
That's what they call me.
That's what they call you?
Because your last name sounds like the hare?
Right.
Okay.
So it's almost like a nickname.
Okay.
Are you okay?
The great thing is that the listener can't experience this.
He's perfectly lit.
It's though this is deal or no deal and he's the banker.
You can't see the banker.
But he's
clearly not the banker.
Right? Like he's somehow
in that room and he's like, oh fuck, I've never
seen the show before.
Will you take two million?
Will you take two million?
The phone was ringing. I don't, I just answered it. I've never seen the show. How are you? Are you enjoying two million? The phone was ringing. I just answered it.
How are you?
Are you enjoying the game?
He is standing like he's going to walk over
and spin the letters.
He's got a little command post over there
like he's Jimmy Fallon's sidekick.
Hey, Steve.
All right, so...
What do you do for a living?
Count numbers, actuary.
You count numbers actually?
Are you actually actuary-ing?
Actually?
Did you ever seeuary-ing? Yeah. Actually? Yeah.
Did you ever see Love Actuary?
Yeah.
I didn't like the fat shaming in it.
It's not worth that at all.
Plus that guy tells the girl he loves him,
like, well, his black boyfriend's,
her black husband's sitting right there.
It's just not right.
Spoilers.
It's not right.
Wait, Love actually spoilers?
Do you have a problem with...
I've never seen it.
Well, check it out
and then you can spend
the rest of your life
going, why did I bother?
It's going to be like
that Sicario movie.
You're going to know
what it means to wish you
out of the time machine.
Like if you watched it
15 years ago,
you'd be like,
this movie's fine.
But now there's not one storyline
that wouldn't end badly.
Even the one with the little kid,
the airport police would just kill him.
Not at the end, when he runs in, right?
Wait, that little boy would get killed
just for trying to say goodbye to that little girl
or whatever the fuck was going on?
Well, I mean, the way you're saying it,
it sounds like he wouldn't deserve it. was going on? Well, I mean, the way you're saying it,
it sounds like he wouldn't deserve it.
But when I describe it, it is,
he broke through security at the airport.
They would, if he never stopped running,
they would have to do something.
What is this movie?
Oh man, you don't even know.
There are scenes.
The old dude from Underworld sings a Christmas song.
Yeah.
Now, I don't believe you.
It's the truth.
It is true.
I mean, that's a weird way to describe...
There's scenes where there's a couple pretending,
they're not pretending, they're stand-ins on a porn set,
and so they have to replicate
what happens with the actual porn stars.
So they're naked and just pretending to fuck each other
and having casual conversations.
Yeah, and this is a family movie, by the way.
That's real?
It's a Christmas movie, by the way.
And you're watching Paul Blart 2.
I know, I'm missing out!
I gotta go.
You're free to go for a second.
You don't have to stay
for every minute. I'll just go watch
Love Actually and come right back.
I wish, man.
It's over two hours long.
Oh, you getting impatient over there?
Take a seat.
Am I the only person that feels like
Matt the Hare's been through some shit?
Because when he said,
that's what they used to call me,
that's a guy who got out of
a neighborhood cul-de-sac
street gang.
The hair knows how to run.
How's your friend the tortoise? Do you go to
his gravesite every weekend?
Pour a little out.
Alright, let's...
It's time to
actuary get serious.
Who are you suggesting?
Dan Aykroyd.
Dan Aykroyd.
Great Canadian, SNL, Second City.
May he rest in peace.
This is a great time to do it.
So sad.
How long of a delay is there on this episode?
It's coming out tomorrow.
This is the Dan Aykroyd.
Hopefully he doesn't die before tomorrow.
We got a bunch in the can
for various famous people.
We'll drop the day after.
Speaking of family movies, though,
Dan Aykroyd gets a blowjob from a ghost
in Ghostbusters, right?
Yes. That's one.
There you go.
It's PG. Two blowjobs makes it
PG-13, Doug.
Okay, so what name would you like us to play?
Okay, so we got Dan Aykroyd
and the original name was
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
So that's an interesting pairing.
Let's see what we can do with it, starting with...
Travis?
Yeah, he knew.
Wet Hot American Summer.
Has which one of them in it?
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
It does?
What does he play?
No, I'm thinking of the wrong movie.
Hold on.
I'm going to start again.
Don't forget,
you can go to your lifeline once.
Okay.
And you can name any movie with Philip Seymour Hoffman
or
Dan Aykroyd.
Caddyshack 2.
Oh, interesting.
Wow.
Wow.
Very.
I'm going to save that one.
Why?
I'm going to burn it before someone else can use it.
No one else is going to use it.
I think Jeff was.
Never.
Okay.
Dan?
No, man. I give myself different restraints. I don't do sequels.
Like, I'm just really good at this game.
Like, what if I've set
my own other limits?
It's dumb. Never mind.
Anyway,
Ghostbusters 2. Okay, so I'm next.
I'm going to say the couch trip.
Is it my turn?
Sorry, Dan.
Mission Impossible 2.
Oh, what?
Ooh, good one, good one.
Jeff?
Jeff?
What do you got, buddy?
Wait. Is it your got, buddy? Um...
Wait.
Is it your turn, Dan?
It wasn't the first round.
Why should it be in the second?
If I've learned one thing,
if life wants you to slide by,
let it.
Okay, I need two titles from you.
No!
Yeah, not that sneaky, are you?
I know
Boogie Nights
Okay
As well as
Tommy Boy
Oh, okay
Dan Aykroyd's in Tommy Boy
Yeah
Jeff
I can only remember one of those names at a time, apparently
It's like, when he said Tommy Boy, I was like, who the fuck was in Tommy Boy?
It is tough.
I'm going to say, I'm going to say The Big Lebowski.
Okay.
I'm going to go with...
Ghostbusters? Yeah.
Somebody said Ghostbusters 2, and then nobody
said Ghostbusters.
I'm going to say the most recent Ghostbusters.
Oh.
Yeah.
Interesting way of putting it, but that's what I admit then I'm talking
about the 1984 the great up the great outdoors Oh yeah. That movie is nothing but trouble.
Alright.
Wow is right.
You stole one of my ace in the holes.
I'm gonna be in Ann Arbor on Tuesday.
Doing a show there. and if I get sick
it's not too far
not too much trouble to call
Dr. Detroit
yeah that's an answer and a plug
motherfuckers
Capote?
Capote?
Capote? Capote?
Oh, okay.
I don't know why I said it with a plug.
I thought you said the name Cody, but stuttered.
Cody?
I did. Thank you for making fun of my stutter, Doug.
Sorry, sorry.
The Master.
The Master.
Jeff? Doug, this isn't a plug, but just Mr. Jeff.
Doug, this isn't a plug, but just sometimes when we're together, we're a couple of loose canons.
All right, that's right.
Good job.
Let's play money ball.
I think spies like us Us. Mm-hmm.
I would like to go to Paul.
Lifeline says gross point blank.
Gross point blank.
Great ass movie.
Thank you, sir.
Jeff Tate.
Snakers. You're going to love this one everybody
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Full title
I think this is the name of the movie
Schenectady
Yeah
People want the full title Full title. I think this is the name of the movie. Schenectady? Yeah.
Is that not it?
People with a full title.
Just like a witch.
Schenectady, New York?
Yeah.
I never knew how to pronounce it.
I always read it like such-nat-sticky.
So I never said it out loud.
That's why I've never seen that movie.
Because you were afraid to buy tickets?
Yeah, what if it comes up and people are like, what's it called?
And then I know it, but I don't know how to say it. You can't pronounce it?
You live in Kincanaddy.
Softies.
Joker.
I mean, I bet if I lived in Snatch Candy, New York,
I'd fucking know how to pronounce it, but I don't.
Okay, Jeff.
It's going to be all right.
Whose turn is it?
It's Jeff's turn.
That's why your laugh is hard to make.
Oh, no, no.
Oh, it's mine.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
I hate when I have to do this.
Just do it, man.
Fine.
Dragnet. What? Oh, yeah, Dan Aykroyd. this but I kind of like do it ask you fine uh dragnet what yeah oh yeah that
way yeah sneaky Jeff a most wanted man
That's fellow Timmerhoff that's in it. All right.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
Not the most wanted man.
He's just a most wanted man.
Punch Drunk Love.
Shit!
That was mine!
I don't have another.
Oh.
Now I have one,
I just have to remember
the name of it.
It's got...
They run around going...
And they say words.
There's a whole thing.
You got this.
What is the name of it?
Have you gone to your lifeline yet?
No.
You can go to your lifeline.
Still percolate on this other title.
Who is the person I got the thing from?
Rebecca.
Rebecca.
What do you got from Rebecca?
Cross Rose.
Cross Rose.
Wow.
Excuse me.
Oh, I just thought
of another one.
Sneeze.
Sneezies.
Sneezies.
Dan, the one man show.
Okay, I thought of another one.
Great.
Good for you.
Good for you, Dan. You announced when you thought of one. Right?, I thought of another one. Good for you, Dan.
You announced when you thought of one.
Right? I just thought of another one.
I got one.
I think I might be out.
No way.
Yeah.
You already went to your lifeline?
Hold on, hold on.
Could you put on some hold on. Okay.
Could you put on some hold music for us?
Hold music for us.
Twister.
Wow, you did it.
I wasn't sure, but I tried to say it sure.
Twisher.
Along came Pauly.
Oh, man, he falls down at the beginning.
He's very funny in that.
There's that scene where he just agrees to do Ben Stiller's presentation
and he has no idea
what to say
so he just starts
like coughing a lot
and drinking water
and spilling shit
he just
oh it's such a funny scene
he
he was great
um
do we say Magnolia?
not yet
oh damn
we are now
Travis?
Well, the one that's in the center of my head
I can't remember the name of.
It's rough.
It is rough.
Maybe if you say what it's about,
like if he was in a movie.
It's the one where it's the two ex-presidents
and they're together.
I want to say Hail to the Chief, but I don't think that's right. Okay. No? I don't think it's the two ex-presidents and they're together. I want to say hail to the chief,
but I don't think that's right.
Okay.
No?
I don't think it's right.
Okay.
I don't feel good about it.
I think it's out.
What if...
He's out.
Are they ex-presidents?
Maybe they're brothers.
Are you sure they're not brothers, maybe?
Like into a particular kind of music?
I kind of know what you're talking about, but I don't get it.
It's to me, right?
Yes, Dan.
Okay.
You go.
I also love movies.
This is not funny, but truth.
This movie really changed my life.
25th Hour.
25th Hour.
I 100% thought you were going to say My Girl.
That
did too. I never
loved bees more than after I saw
that movie. I've been scared of
bees ever since, man. TJ!
What are you going with, Jeff?
I'm going
to say
Charlie Wilson's War. Okay, I'm going to say Charlie Wilson's
War
I'm going to say My Girl
didn't you just say it
I wasn't positive
if it was right
Dan Aykroyd is in My Girl
yes
I looked up the name of the movie I was trying to think of
you can tell us in a little while.
I will...
Death to Smoochie?
Sure.
What?
I mean, it doesn't matter.
Long Cane Polly would be what I was thinking of.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks, Dan.
I am out.
All right, it's down to me and Jeff. All right, so on to me and Jeff.
What do you got, Jeff?
The Blues Brothers?
Yeah.
Seems like a pretty obvious one.
Fortunately, that leads us to the Blues Brothers 2000.
And Neighbors?
Neighbors, you say?
Yeah. Okay.
I say, Twilight Zone
the movie.
What?
I love when this game
just turns into check raising.
What do you got, Jeff?
I'm gonna raise you
before the devil knows you're dead.
Oh, yeah.
Owning Mahoney.
Love Liza.
I want you guys... Make this like searching for Bobby Fischer
and get one of those clocks that Lawrence Fischer
does every time you say,
hit, hit.
All right, it's a good idea.
Less guests on the show.
I like it.
Just me and Jeff clicking.
Driving Miss Daisy.
Evolution.
That one snapped back fast.
That came back fast and hard.
Holy shit.
I'm going to have to go with... That came back fast and hard. Holy shit.
I'm going to have to go with...
Sydney.
50 first dates.
Right?
There's a murmur that's running through the crowd.
It's like when the U.S. Olympic team was about to win.
People are like, can they do it?
Are they going to?
Are you for real?
It's like the drinking game in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Ooh!
I'm going to go with...
I'm gonna go with...
Travis, don't you feel better?
I was gonna say, Travis, don't you feel better when you realized you would have had to think of
eight more to still be there?
I couldn't get one more.
I know, yeah, that's how I feel good.
It's also just nice to be here, like, watching now.
And I'm like, there's no pressure, Dan.
Right.
We're just out.
It's nice.
Being a failure is so great.
Well.
No one expects anything from me now.
Doug?
I can tell you the one I was thinking of.
I'm gonna tell you the one I'm thinking of.
Right now.
And it is...
Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, what the fuck was that thing called?
The Ides of March.
That's what was filmed in Cincinnati.
I mean, that was so fucking powerful
that it made me forget for one second
that I'm almost famous.
Oh, mother!
Oh!
For the listener at home, Tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape And Doug Benson is enjoying the scent of a woman.
Oh!
Pirate Radio.
Yeah!
God damn it.
I was so happy when I pulled that one out.
I was like, hoo-ah!
All right, well, you know, this has been quite a battle,
but the bottom line is that Jeff Tate won the prizes tonight.
He's the winner.
Do you have one more, Jeff?
Were you ready with one more?
Yeah, yeah, Coneheads.
Coneheads.
My Fellow Americans was the one I was trying to do. Yes, My Fellow Americans
with the brothers that are presidents.
I don't think they're brothers.
Elf?
Hunger Games.
Oh, fucking Hunger Games, that's right.
But you gotta get the right one.
Mockingjay Part 1.
I couldn't remember which Hunger Games it was,
so I bailed on that quick.
Of course, Trading Places for Dan Aykroyd.
What Brothers one were you talking about?
Blues Brothers?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I was trying to be
chalant about it.
I don't think that's a...
You're either non-chalant
or you just walk away.
You're not chalant.
I was chalant as fuck.
Grabby old man.
Shallant as fuck.
All right.
Well, the person that Jeff was playing for,
what's the name again?
Troy.
Troy, come get your prizes.
Congratulations.
Hold on a sec.
There you go.
Wait, that's Jeff Tate's brother.
There's a rule against it.
Grab that bag there, too.
And then as you walk away,
I'm going to hit you with a donut.
Oh, man.
Just as punishment for cheating.
Go, walk away.
Well, you can't pick your own brother's name tag.
Troy wants to throw a donut.
It's been on the ground.
Yeah, which, you know...
Get in, motherfucker.
Doug, that's like in the movies
where the drug kingpin's like,
I'm gonna let you start running.
I'd rather hit a man in the back.
That was my brother?
Yeah.
You guys never met before?
No, man.
He just held up this cool-ass sign,
and the lights were in my eyes,
and I was like, whatever.
I've seen Toy Story.
Oh, I was wondering.
I was, like, saying,
why did you pick a sign?
I thought you didn't like picking signs.
He's like, oh, tonight I'm making a special,
uh, making an special exception and I'm
going to pick a sign because my brother
and the two of us are going to go and we're going to
get on eBay and we're going to make
$13.
No, no, there's a...
I told you I was going to get that Galaxy Quest patch.
Kaiser Suze!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
you magical son of a bitch what are your plugs promote yourself i'm gonna be in this okay the july 13th friday the 13th i'm gonna be at by gollies in milford ohio by gollies in Milford, Ohio. By gollies. Right? Keep it gentle.
By gollies.
Sunday in Indianapolis at the White Rabbit.
Is the name of the venue.
It's Sunday night, July 15th.
And then August the 2nd, I'm at a place called Central Cinema in Seattle, Washington.
And this is big.
July 28th, it's a Saturday.
My brother and I, fella I guess we're starting a podcast
at Bogart's we're gonna do a podcast at Bogart's called Bombs Away Presents Alter Tate's a
podcastrophy it's a good name it's a good name he's so excited to say that I'm so excited for all of this I got so many
fun ideas we're gonna fucking have a good time Bogart's July 28th be there or whatever go fuck
yourself I'm sorry my mom's here.
He did... I don't know what he's talking about, Ma.
Daniel Van Kirk, what are you doing besides going to hell?
Uh...
I saw on a billboard on the way here, hell is real.
Uh...
Mm-hmm.
I wish underneath that it said,
billboards are not, just to really make people... What? I wish underneath that it said
billboards are not, just to really make people
What?
I just didn't understand why
Hell is real, or is it?
I just didn't understand why there weren't two more
billboards
You guys get it
I'm with you
Alright, what are you saying, Dan?
On Sunday July 15th I am going to be at the Bug Theater doing a co-headlining tour with John Roy.
So I'll be at the Bug Theater.
I think that show starts at 8 o'clock.
It's my first time doing stand-up in Denver.
So I would love for all the Duck Loves Movies people to come on out to that.
And then on the 17th and 18th of August, I'll be at the Petalama Petaluma Comedy Festival
in Petaluma, California.
We're doing a live Dumb People Town on Friday night,
and I am doing a stand-up set on Saturday night.
And Jeff Tate will be there, too.
I'm in that festival, too.
I just forgot the name of it.
Yeah.
But I knew Dan would plug it, and I'd be like, me too.
But if you're in Denver, Bug Theater, July 15th.
Bug.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go to at Daniel Van Kirk.
You can get the link right there.
Twitter, Instagram, Facebook.
Bug.
Thank you, Doug.
Yeah.
Travis.
Yes.
Travis McElroy, what do you have to plug?
Well, so we do a Dungeons & Dragons,
well, an RPG podcast,
and it's me and my brothers playing with our dad.
And our first big arc,
the Adventure Zone Bureau of Balance arc,
we made a graphic novel out of it,
and that comes out the 17th of July. And we're doing a book tour for it.
And we're doing a show here in cincinnati on the 18th um so if you want to come to that do that and
otherwise the book will be out and we're doing uh uh you know book tours the 17th 18th 19th and 20th
in new york cincinnati boston and San Diego. So come to those.
Good cities all.
I'm a big fan of them.
Yeah, I've got dates coming up in most of them.
All of that is why I'm starting a podcast with my brother.
It seems pretty fun to just fucking hang out with your brother
and not really have a job.
It's really great.
It's top notch.
It's all I do.
Super smart.
I love it.
That's all I do. Super smart. I love it.
Um...
I'm gonna be at the Just for Laughs
comedy festival
in Montreal doing a
Benson Interruption stand-up show and a
Doug Loves Movies taping.
So, as I mentioned earlier,
go to that one website
for more.
I don't want you guys to yell that again.
Alright, go to
Douglovesmovies.com
That's Douglovesmovies.com
Yeah!
One more time for all my guests.
Was it Travis, a great first time guest?
Thank you.
Dan Van Kirk, Jeff Tate.
Pass me your name
text, please.
Thank you.
Thank you, as always, to Go Bananas and to Montgomery and Blue Ash and King's Island
and Skyline Chili and all the great things,
all the great things that you can experience here.
It's called it.
Yeah.
As always, my neighbor who called the fire department on me for using my backyard fire pit is a shithead.
See how this one goes.
Adults who played Pokemon Go in 2018 are a shithead Cause Doug loves movies!