Doug Loves Movies - Gillian Jacobs, DC Pierson, and David Huntsberger Guest
Episode Date: February 13, 2013Doug welcomes actress Gillian Jacobs, along with comedians DC Pierson and David Huntsberger to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https:...//art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby-sweet
He sees with 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Nice clapping, white people.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater
on Tuesday, February 12th to Ocean's 13,
the Valentine's Week ep, if you will, or even if you won't.
Since last I spoke and you listened,
I flew back from San Francisco.
Thank you, SF Sketch Fest
and all the folks who attended
my Benson movie interruptions
up there. I'll be back in
San Francisco April 19th and 20th
at Cobb's doing a Douglo's
movies, a countdown to 420.
That's where, like, at midnight,
we treat it like New Year's on 419
and count it down and go,
yay, and then I'll have to go outside to smoke.
And then...
Can't smoke indoors.
And then two shows on that Saturday, 420,
where I will be taping my new album.
Last night, I went to
Greg Proop's film club at
CineFamily, where Greg
showed the great Woody Allen movie
Annie Hall, that still holds up if you
try not to think about, if you think of
Woody Allen as a character in a movie,
and not as a person that did
a lot of strange shit.
And now makes movies about Europe.
It was really fun to watch it with a packed house
and big laughs from my favorite line in Annie Hall
when the older gentleman goes,
we use a large vibrating egg.
And you can listen to Greg's pre and post screening chat that he does at these shows that he does at CineFamily on his Smartest Man in the World Proopcast.
There is only a handful of tickets left for my Douglas Movies taping this Sunday at Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois.
So get your hands on them.
Chicago.
And Monday I'm taping Benson Interruption right here in Los Angeles at Meltdown Comics.
That's President's Day,
so no one should have to work, I don't think.
Any postal people in the audience?
You'll have a big weekend, Saturday and Monday off.
And then, because if I,
I don't know if it's kicked in yet,
but if I worked in the post office,
I would not come in on Saturdays. Because you'd just be like, I heard I don't know if it's kicked in yet, but if I worked in the post office, I would not
come in on Saturdays.
Because you'd just be like, I heard we weren't doing Saturdays anymore.
Oh, it's not official yet.
Oh, well, I heard, it was in the news, so
that's how I get, decide whether or not
I'm going to work.
And it's at 420.
And co-interrupting throughout
will be Zach Galifianakis
schedule permitting.
And go check out Zach Galifianakis' Schedule Permitting. And go check out Zach Galifianakis'
Between Two Ferns on Funny or Die
Oscar edition.
The very last...
This isn't going to ruin it for you
that I'm saying this.
The very last moment of
part two made me laugh out loud
very, very hard.
There's a new Dining with Doug
and Karen with very special guest Lisa Loeb
available now for free in the comedy podcast section
of iTunes. And now it's time for tweet relief.
Tweets about movies. HeavyRains, R-A-I-N-E-S
17 tweeted,
Marketing plan for Safe Haven.
And this is like what they should say.
This is the marketing plan.
It's about time that movie you've seen thousands of times
came out again.
Did I fuck that up?
I thought that was pretty funny.
This has been Tweet Relief,
tweets about movies
by my new friend, Heavy Rains. Prize rains prize bag you guys some good stuff in here
there's a book we'll talk about the book we'll talk about in a little bit let's not get into
that too much uh dvd we can't really talk about some uh magic the gathering cards someone brought
and uh there's a couple other things we can't mention just yet but
i brought i want another stuffed animal at disney's california adventure
and i don't want that piece of shit and uh and also a this is a beautiful item this is a scarf
that says tito's handmade vodka on it You could wear it inside out if you don't
want to seem like a complete lush, but it's actually
pretty nice. It's a cold night
here in California. I'm keeping it!
No, that'll
be in the prize bag. You could say,
It touched his neck.
And then don't tell
people which neck.
Dick neck!
Okay, so did you guys see that movie dick neck at hanging rock that was
pretty good pretty good porn so uh speaking of tito's handmade vodka made in austin texas this
isn't an ad by the way i mean they'll give me some free vodka if i want it, but we're going to tape a Douglas Movies in Austin on February
21st at 5.30
at Cap City Comedy Club.
So come out to that, you guys, and
please help me in welcoming
to the stage right now
D.C. Pearson, David Huntsberger,
and Gillian Jacobs.
Thank you. got two first timers on the panel and an old pro an old wily okay shut up
you know you don't talk until spoken to
wow you really did.
That's amazing.
I was saying backstage,
this is probably going to be the most docile panel
that we've had in quite some time.
And I'm excited about it
because I've got things to say about movies.
DC Pearson is here, you guys.
Yes.
I love you in the TV ad
where you talk like President David Palmer.
Thank you.
Thank you.
People's dads think I can actually do that voice.
Why can't you?
Well, I mean, I could try,
but it's dubbed in.
Okay.
You mean just like throughout the show?
I'm going to give you an assignment.
No, come back another time.
I'm being assassinated.
Yeah, yeah.
That just sounded entirely too Blaxploitation. throughout the show. I'm going to give you an assignment. No, come back another time. I'm being assassinated. Yeah, yeah.
That just sounded entirely too
Blaxploitation.
Right on, Jack Bauer.
Yeah, well,
that's the thing.
He doesn't say
particularly black things
in the commercials.
It's all about...
What would be
a particularly black thing
for him to say?
Well, he doesn't go,
you're in good hands, yo.
You know, he...
It's very straightforward
and insurance talk.
Right?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, for sure.
You could probably get it down
and then when the little children
come around,
you can impress them.
Listen, you two white guys.
Why don't you cool it?
It's getting a little
uncomfortable in here.
Did I tell you not to talk?
Sorry about that.
Did I tell you not to talk? You've that. Did I tell you not to talk?
You've got a book coming out, DC.
I do.
It's called Crap Kingdom.
You have it right there.
There it is.
It's a young adult book about a kid that discovers he's the chosen one in a crazy fantasy magic kingdom.
And then it turns out that the crazy fantasy magic kingdom he's the chosen one in is really, really shitty.
So he's just like, nope, not going to do it. Not going he's the chosen one in is really, really shitty. So he's just like,
nope, not gonna do it.
Not gonna be the chosen one.
And then his best friend
becomes the chosen one instead.
And he's like,
damn it, I should have done it.
And then he's all jealous and stuff
and then he goes and becomes
the chosen one in the evil kingdom.
And then he feels bad
and then he must redeem himself
through an epic adventure.
It's for young adults,
but grownups will also enjoy it.
That's what I said to you backstage
when we were first talking about it.
I was like, is it a YA thing?
Or what's the story with this book?
It's young adult, and it features Charlize Theron.
That'd be so great if you just had pictures of her in the middle.
It's all pictures.
It's all unlicensed pictures of Charlize Theron.
Iron Flux.
Patton Oswalt wrote on the back of the book,
Pearson's funny,
giddy,
anti-epic
is the summer blockbuster
your burnout friend
never got around
to writing.
That's right,
except he did get around
to writing it.
Yeah.
I wrote it.
That's a weird thing
for Patton to say.
This book is like
something that hasn't happened.
He's a my book denier.
Enjoy it.
He thinks it's
an inside job.
There's so many conspiracies these days.
And you also brought Magic the Gathering cards.
Magic the Gathering cards that I have around my house.
Who among you will front on Magic the Gathering?
No one.
It's a great collectible card game.
I'm sure we can find somebody. Joe?
Yeah.
And then what's this
Mystery Team game?
Mystery Team is a movie I made with my comedy group, Derek Comedy.
People dig it.
And those are trading cards that we made when we went to Comic-Con,
and they have never been given out since.
So they're rare and interesting to those three people.
So hopefully one of them will win the prize pack.
It'll either make a great bookmark or a terrible weapon
playing Magic the Gathering.
Patton Oswalt says those cards don't exist.
You guys
I'd like a nice warm round of applause
for Gillian Jacobs
for coming to the
coming to the program. Coming to the program.
Actually listening to some
episodes to try to figure it out.
Yeah, I listened to three and I enjoyed
them a lot. Oh, well thank you very much
for that. I wasn't fishing.
But
you think you understand how to play.
I know DC has listened
quite a bit or been here.
I don't know. I've listened.
I did not.
I've never been to the live show.
I didn't realize there was a table.
That changes my whole experience of listening to the show.
If you should come out and be like, this is Douglas Movies, Two Oceans, 13.
There's a table here.
And people would be like, all right, I get it now.
I take a picture every week that I put on Twitter.
Yeah. Haven't you seen that? And the table's in the picture. Oh, I put on Twitter. Yeah.
Haven't you seen that?
And there's the tables in the picture.
Oh, there's a table, yeah.
Really?
I have an app that removes tables from pictures.
It's often got cards on it, like weird stuff sitting there.
And name tags, when you're going to get the name tags,
you also don't know what that looks like yet.
I don't.
I've only imagined it.
That's an exciting moment when that happens.
Yeah, I've been looking into the audience. I thought they'd
be wearing them. No, no, no. They are very...
Nope. This is LA.
Everyone's cool. A few of them just
walk up. Just walking down the street that you don't
know they have a name tag.
Anyone in LA could be on their way
to a podcast.
And most are.
A few people just covertly held theirs out
like, psst, they're here.
So Community is back, like, bigger than ever.
We're back, yes.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And enough about that.
IMDb, and IMDb says that you were in The Box?
Yeah.
What's that about?
I don't know.
I've never seen it.
I like that movie.
You do?
That's the Richard Kelly one, right?
Yeah, that's the stoner burnout movie
that's never been made.
About a box.
Says Doug Benson.
Yeah.
Says Rotten Tomatoes.
The premise seems interesting.
It's a cool premise,
and it's made in this very kind of weird 70s,
almost like a Twilight Zone sort of thing.
Yes, it's based on a Twilight Zone episode.
Oh, is it?
Called Button Button.
So it started out with a normal premise,
and then they added aliens,
and people were being transported through pools of water,
and they kept rewriting the script,
but it was during the writer's strike,
so they weren't supposed to keep writing the script.
Whoa.
You just got some people killed by Teamsters.
Everybody forget you heard that.
And I did not at certain point
understand what the movie was about
but I played a babysitter
that took care of Cameron Diaz
and James Marsden's kid in it.
And I got a nose.
That's funny.
Yeah.
Me caring for a child.
Hilarious.
Yes, I was in the box.
I felt bad about myself at a certain point in the middle of that.
That seemed like an audition monologue you were doing
called A Woman Who Was in the Box.
Well, first off, anyway.
Think outside the box is what I say.
You never say that.
Did you see that movie, David?
No.
Did you see Southland Tales?
Nope.
Donnie Darko?
Yes.
So that's where you decided to stop.
Yeah. That's where you gave up.
I was just telling them backstage
I see a lot of people
I see one of their movies.
I rarely dig into their entire collection.
Give me another example.
The only Christopher Nolan movie I've seen
is The Prestige.
He's only seen Death Proof.
I've only seen The Proof. Like, I don't... I would have to be...
I've only seen The Age of Innocence.
Like, I've seen...
Condoms.
You'd have to say the movie,
and you'd go, oh, and so-and-so directed that.
I'm like, yeah, what else did they direct?
And then you'd tell me,
like, it was purely coincidence
if I saw others of theirs.
Interesting.
It is very.
That's why I said it.
I've only seen I Heart Huckabees.
Ha! Ha! of theirs. Interesting. It is very. That's why I said it. I've only seen I Heart Huckabees. And I've seriously only seen
Rushmore. There is no better.
Even though I like some of his other work.
But you just said you haven't seen his other work.
I don't really pay attention to it while I'm watching it.
I'm like, this isn't Rushmore.
You were just saying think outside the box. I want to it while I'm watching it. I'm like, this isn't Rushmore. You were just saying, think outside the box.
I want to talk to Gillian some more.
Okay.
You're in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone?
I am, yes.
That's going to be either amazing or terrible.
Yep.
Does it have any other options?
What'd you think of that movie
with all those great, funny actors playing magicians?
Ah!
It was okay.
No, it wasn't.
It was great.
Or terrible.
Which way do you think it's going to go?
Great.
Okay.
I like your attitude.
Positivity is always good in this business,
but I am excited about it.
Do you have to wear a crazy wig or something?
Who are you supposed to be?
No, I play a groupie in the audience
who Steve Carell picks for a one-night stand.
So I just, yeah, I make out with Steve Carell
and wear a slutty dress.
Did he still have the syrup?
There's a young lady in the audience encouraging you
because it is
feminist day or some shit.
It's my second film.
It is.
For some bullshit.
Something like that.
Now when you wear a button in solidarity, does it say
for some shit on it?
Feminist day or some shit.
It should, because a day? Come on.
Give them a week or something.
Relax, the blacks have a month.
The blacks? That I'm celebrating
right now. This is after you
described how black people talk.
We got a month, Jack Bauer.
You forgot about the yo at the end.
As the blacks talk,
according to you, Doug,
you racist son of a bitch.
I was being silly. I was being pretend racist.
I watch a lot of Justified
and my favorite character
on Walking Dead is Merle.
You check out.
Story checks.
You're free to go.
That's David Huntsberger, everybody.
I've never introduced you.
I never gave you a round of applause.
Sorry I talk so much.
That's not really like me.
No, you're great at this.
Are you kidding me?
Nobody's talked over anybody yet.
That's true.
Professor Blastoff.
Professor Brownstone.
Yeah, what's going on with that guy?
Operation Takeoff.
It's good.
We're at like 91 episodes now.
Tig's back and healthy.
They didn't give a shit about the 91 episodes.
That's not much of an accomplishment.
We just did Sketch Fest
and the Vancouver Comedy Festival.
So those are coming out soon?
Yeah, they're both actually up right now, currently.
You asked me about being on an episode and and potentially talking about the
doing like the oscars yeah now does that really fall into the purview of that program isn't it
mostly things scientific and smarter and more interesting than the oscars uh there's a
philosophical side and i it's odd there's a definite philosophy to the Oscars
and it's money
and power
we're already knee deep in this conversation
we can do it on your show
let's take it to the hatch
I love the Oscars by the way
I talk a lot of shit about it but I love them
are we allowed to say the Oscars on the podcast
or is that a thing like the Super Bowl
where we have to say movie awards program when the podcast? Or is that a thing like the Super Bowl where we have to say, movie awards program?
When I...
That's funny you should mention it,
because on whatever day the Oscars is,
I'm going to be in a theater watching something on television.
Can't say what it is.
Is it old episodes of Murphy Brown?
Well, we don't want to say that,
because no one would come.
Right.
Well. Okay, fine, that because no one would come. Right. Well.
Okay, fine, Doug.
No one.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think of one.
The only name I can think of is Candice Bergen,
but I wanted to think of one supporting actor's name.
The guy with glasses.
She'll be there.
He'll be there.
But I can't think of any of them,
so sorry for them.
I apologize.
And we won't be doing a Murphy Brown episode anytime soon. I also didn't know. I didn't know of any of them so sorry for them. I apologize. And we won't be doing
a Murphy Brown episode
any time soon.
I also didn't know
I didn't know there was a table here.
I didn't know Candice Bergen
was here for every episode.
She's in the corner
weeping right now.
Well, if she wasn't here
I definitely wouldn't even
have thought of her name.
So thanks for the visual.
That seems like a cool burn
in an 80s movie.
Thanks for the visual. And then you just skateboard away
To the mall
Nice vish
They're talking to a blind girl by the way
Whoa
Skateboarders are the worst to blind girls
The eternal war between skateboarders and blind people
That's the reboot of Underworld I'm pitching.
Finally.
I'm tired of vampires and werewolves not getting along.
It's, you know, it's in everything that has vampires and werewolves.
Why isn't there one?
Were they friends in Hotel Transylvania?
Didn't see it.
They had like a party or something, though.
I bet they got along.
Or did they just kind just give each other dirty looks
from across the party the whole time?
Like it was there, but that wasn't the story
they were there to tell.
Yeah.
Is about...
I don't know that much about it.
I don't know why I'm bringing it up.
I will once again reference I didn't see it.
I'm of little to no help here.
If I couldn't reference movies I hadn't seen,
I would never speak
Gillian brought the third
season of Community
signed by her
and spit on by Chevy Chase
So that is very nice
He can't produce spit anymore
What's your favorite So that is very nice. He can't produce spit anymore. Oh.
What's your favorite Chevy Chase movie?
I'll ask everybody to be fair.
David?
Because he was great.
Caddy Shack, he's fantastic.
I'm going to go with an obscure one that's not my favorite, but I like it, which is The Funny Farm.
Is that the one
where Dan Aykroyd has a penis for a
nose? No, that's
nothing but trouble. Yeah, it was real.
That's brutal. That movie's brutal.
Funny Farm, he like... But Funny Farm was
kind of, it was kind of funny. I thought
it, I don't know. Isn't it tempting fate by putting
the word funny in your comedy movie
title? I think that was most of the reviews.
It was pre-Rotten Tomatoes,
but I still read
as many newspapers
as I could get my hands on.
You're down there
right when the news
stand open.
Give me all the
Funny Farm reviews!
I think Christmas Vacation
is my genuine favorite.
I'm talking in an
old-timey voice,
and I need them now.
I gotta have these
for you, see?
Just biting nickel
after nickel.
These are all real.
Funny Farm, he does a lot of the Chevy Chase laugh,
which I like.
You enjoy that?
Which I think is funny.
No one does that better than him.
He wants his wife to read his manuscript,
and then he just stands over his shoulder
and points at things and does that laugh.
I still like to do that to people. I draw comics, and things and does that laugh and i still like to do
that to people like i draw comics and i'll show them and just be like i always get a kick out of
it i got a kick out of the fact that you gave them plenty of time to think about their answers
dc uh fletch's eye yeah iletch. I have a weird thing with him
and a lot of those kind of like really seminal
late 70s, 80s comedy movies
where I feel like you could get away with a lot
just by being like,
the main character's being like,
look at this jerk-off to an authority figure.
Do you know what I mean?
And that was a lot of what comedy was
because I guess nobody ever called an authority figure
a jerk-off before 1979.
So people were like, whoa, yeah, sweet.
And also, I guess drugs hadn't been invented yet, so there was nothing better to do.
Bill Murray really switched it up in Ghostbusters, because instead of jerk-off, he called him
dickless.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, so he took it to the next level.
But you're right.
A lot of the comedy is that.
And we moved away from that.
I think we moved away to where we're laughing at the characters.
And that's why Eddie Murphy isn't in hit movies anymore.
Whoa.
Because that was his whole thing.
Apparently you didn't see Meet Dave.
Neither did I.
I think I slept through it on a plane.
So does that count?
Totally counts.
And a thousand words.
That's not part of that on cable.
Take one of the greatest spoken word, articulate comedians of all time.
Fast talker.
Like I get, okay, that would be real torture for him if he can't speak.
But don't really do it for an entire movie.
God damn it.
That was horrible.
Last year I feel like was a big year for movies.
The premise involved magical leaves falling off of
a magical thing. There was that
Odd Life of Timothy Green where the kid
had leaves on his shins and when
they all fell off, he died. A thousand words.
Don't put magical leaves falling off
as part of the conceit of your movie.
And I'm talking to you, J.J. Abrams, when you do the new Star Wars.
Don't put magical
leaves in it.
That's all I got.
JJ loves this podcast.
Because it's
so mysterious.
So you're saying A Thousand Words
would have been better if they had perhaps cast you
and you just don't have a lot to say.
Oh, it would have been
a horrible movie with anybody in it
because it was all premise
and nothing else.
But still,
yeah,
hire somebody that
Rowan Atkinson
would be very funny
trying to explain
things to people
without using words.
Roberto Benigni
would be fantastic
in it as well.
He's due for a comeback.
Sure.
I'm his manager.
He has no baddest Benign his manager. There's some people
that could really pull that off.
Or even,
I'd love to see
a Philip Seymour Hoffman
give it a try.
I'd like to see him
in the lead
in a flat-out family comedy.
He plays it totally straight
and then just commits suicide
at the end.
Pack your bags
and get in the car.
Everyone get in the car.
We're going to the grocery store.
I'm going to fucking kill all of you.
That's a family fun,
like Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Which movie is that from?
That's the reboot of the new...
No, that's the new
National Lampoon Vacation
starring Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Oh.
I totally missed what you were doing there.
I'm going to have to go back and listen to it later.
Philip Seymour Hoffman is National Lampoon's sad husband.
Honey, I'm having chicken again.
Honey, we never have sex anymore.
I don't feel good.
anymore pack a car I got a bonus I got my bonus for going to Wally world I
miss that moose you know about that movie Vacation Ride about how they
the whole thing
with John Candy
at the end
was a reshoot
because
originally they had
like an old guy
that was like a
Walt Disney looking guy
played by Eddie Bracken
who they like
held at gunpoint
to like his head
and went around
and did stuff
in the park
you know like
it was a lot more
scary
like
you know Clark Griswold's
really gonna shoot this guy.
Falling down.
Exactly.
Defense was on his license plate, if you look close.
Turn on the fucking rides!
Oh, this took a turn.
Yeah.
But I don't know why it's not as bad with a
jolly fat guy.
Because he's fat with braces.
A moose outside
should have told you.
Yeah.
Why the moose
didn't tell you?
That's a pelican.
That wouldn't even
break the skin.
It could break the skin.
That's pretty close,
though, to...
I don't understand
why the moose
didn't tell you.
Gotham is closed.
All the bridges are out.
It's not close to that at all.
But it's close to me saying,
let the game begin.
All right, this is the part
where you guys go out into the audience
and pick a name tag that you'd like to play for.
And there's a few of them out there.
And anything that speaks to you a name tag that you'd like to play for? There's a few of them out there.
Anything that speaks to you?
Oh, I hear a woot monkey.
That's exciting to have a woot monkey back on the scene.
David's really
asking questions
about the items.
It doesn't look like you came back
with the most spectacular name tag in the crowd.
I didn't.
I like when people have carved you pumpkins
and things in the past.
Yeah, yeah.
I put some real effort into it.
I saw some good ones out there.
I got the B team tonight.
Because what is that?
It's a shadow machine cantina lunch ticket
from Brian the Intern.
Oh, and it's got...
No, it's got...
You got to punch it one more time,
and then you get a free lunch.
Is that the deal?
The opposite?
Oh, you have to pay more if you go five times?
Oh, Brian the Intern.
You're such an intern.
Only one more click
until he pays for his lunch.
Not the opposite, but close.
Like, it's free.
You get a free lunch now.
No?
Each one is a lunch.
Oh, I see. I get it.
He works a weird work week.
They'll give you another one
when this one's done, right? Yeah.
Why don't they highlight that you're an intern?
I mean, they literally take a highlighter and like,
yeah, intern. Hey, don't
mess around and respect this person.
They're an intern, okay?
Don't start asking them questions.
Treat them with dignity. Yeah, don't be like,
how's your day going?
I mean, it's highlighted. You saw it.
Just tell them that you need something
and that they should go get it right now.
All right, Brian. Good name tag.
I love it.
What do you got, Gilly?
I have Eddie.
Eddie.
She wrote it on a barf bag and um she likes me in
community and choke so i'm a narcissist so i took hers is she uh what do you call it uh psychic like
how'd you know did you write all that on there once you saw who the guest was
once you saw her come out then you made this this name change. Wow, you have lovely handwriting, and you wrote very quickly.
So how do you do?
You just scramble to whichever guest you like the best,
you'll think of something to write about?
Yeah, this is my first time here, and once I saw Jillian, I had to.
Wow.
That's interesting.
I feel like that approach is going to be...
Why hasn't anybody thought of that, Jordan?
That's going to be a new thing.
Why isn't that rampant?
Just leave a blank area
that you can put in some suck-uppy shit.
Yeah.
Pick somebody when they come out,
but then you got to hope that one person
she's going to wander...
Oh, man, that's what Jordan looks like.
She's going to wander off the other way.
He's like Godot in my mind.
His girlfriend's a babe.
He's rocking it out.
Jordan, you guys,
you guys at home, Jordan is magnificent.
He's like Aslan from Chronicles of Narnia.
And then he represents Christ.
That is exactly how I would describe him.
He is our Aslan.
And he always used to bring a baseball, as you know,
with his name on it,
and it would get picked all the time
because boys just grabbed that baseball.
Boys love balls.
Girls sometimes too, right?
Yeah.
Everybody likes balls.
Okay, so the girl you're playing for,
her name is Eddie?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm going to write that down.
Jesus, Gillian and Eddie.
Just make it easy on me, you guys.
It's like a buddy cop movie.
Right after Rizzoli and Isles.
They play the same movie every week after Rizzoli and Isles.
We've got characters.
And who are you playing for, DC?
I am playing for Mike,
whose label is on the back of a woot monkey,
which was another thing I had always heard but never actually
seen in real life. And it was everything
this is going to be really ironic as
an author who's here promoting a book, but everything
out there required so much reading.
They all had paragraphs and clauses
and caveats and had clearly been
looked over by a lawyer. And then this guy just
held a monkey aloft in the crowd
and just bashed its
chest and it made a noise and I was like, yes.
And I reached out for it.
And it also has a little rubber thing
around its arm which makes it look like it's tying
off to do heroin.
Because the rush of being
a daredevil isn't enough anymore.
Alright, well we don't need any more entries in
Best Description of a name tag contest.
We really worked that one out.
If we had had time tonight,
we would have played a game called ABCD's Nuts,
where each letter, I was going to spell out community,
and I was going to have you go first,
and I was going to say the letter C.
What movie would you say that begins with the letter C?
Gosh.
Church Mouse? Is that a movie?
No, but I'll give you a clue.
You just said it out loud and it's written on the name tag.
Because I want a movie something can be as quiet as.
Oh, I'm in a movie called
Choke. Yeah, that begins with the letter C.
That's what I
wrote down, Choke. So we would have matched and you
would have won. So we'll have you
go first in the Leonard Maltin game.
Great. And then we'll go to
DC because it's his first time.
And then to you, David. Okay.
I saw for the O you wrote over the top.
Yeah. Who's in over the top?
You thought that was the immediate
guess someone would have come up with? Well, I have to
put something. I thought open range and then I with? Well, I have to put something.
I thought open range, and then I thought,
no, I'll go over the top.
And then I looked down and saw it.
I was like, this guy's in my head.
What's over the top? Next time you're on.
Over the top is a Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling biopic.
No, it's not a biopic.
That's the key to winning.
The key to winning in arm wrestling
is to be the one to go over the top.
Actually, I believe the key to arm wrestling
is to connect with your estranged son, Doug.
It's a two-step process.
Lead me halfway.
I love that movie.
Anyway.
Yeah, it did have that kind of song over the end credits.
We did it and we made it.
A man drinks oil in that movie as well, for real.
Like an arm wrestler, actually
there's like these talking heads, because
Sylvester Stallone, he inspired
The Office, I guess. And there's a guy that drinks
oil, like an actual wrestler that drinks oil.
Like gasoline? Like motor oil, yeah.
Wow. So there's actually a movie where
people arm wrestle and that's a...
Well, Sylvester Stallone is a truck driver
who becomes a professional arm wrestler
to save his estranged son.
What's the prize?
Well, they also have mental illness.
That makes it funny.
It's kind of like an early Silver Linings playbook.
But in Over the Top,
they don't talk about the mental illness.
They just go right to the arm wrestling.
They just go right to talking about it.
I think I'm the only person
that thought Silver Linings playbook
didn't have enough dance contest in it.
That was my favorite aspect of it,
and I thought it was given short shrift.
I want more dance contests because that's what my name stands for.
I want to see the other competitors.
Your name's Dance Contest Pearson?
Dance Contest Pearson.
How much fun do you have
with that whole DC game?
Not enough, but starting tonight, more.
All right.
Let me get the app going here.
My phone's being silly.
And we'll start with you, Gillian.
Okay.
You get to pick a category.
Great.
As you know.
So excited.
From the following.
Come on, Catherine Epper.
Come on, Catherine Epper.
One of these.
Would you like
at MasterJB2000
suggested on Twitter
Val and
Tynes Day.
And that's movies that
star either Tynes Daily or
Val Kilmer. Yes!
Oh, I fucking love that. That's amazing.
Speaks to me.
And Nick Chinchilla suggested
Bart the Bear.
And that's movies that feature
that one specific acting bear,
Bart the Bear.
He's been in about five projects.
Like, if there's a bear in a movie,
it's probably Bart.
Oh, oh, oh,
that's not the character's name.
That's the name of the actor.
The bear.
The actor bear's name is...
Yeah.
That's what they say to it when they're hitting it
with a stick.
It.
Well, I studied acting under stick and
food.
Inside the back door studio. I studied acting under stick and food. You get the best work out of me with food, to be honest.
It's been proven torture doesn't work.
Zero bear 30.
Okay, and it's Arsenio Hall's birthday today.
Respect.
R.I.P.
The film's... The film's... Arsenio Hall's birthday today, so the... Respect. R.I.P. The film's...
The film's...
Arsenio Hall.
Okay, well,
I think I'm gonna have to go
with Tyne Daly
because I didn't even know
Arsenio Hall had been in films,
so...
Randy Watson.
What?
What is that?
That was from
Coming to America.
I've never seen that.
I have a feeling you've never seen
Harlem Nights or Amazon Women on the Moon either.
Is it on the Moon or Mars?
What are they on?
Mars.
Moon.
Moon.
Moon.
Moon.
But anyway, yeah, those were the three
that I picked for Arsenio
because he made three movies,
like 87, 88, 89 out of the biz.
No, he had to go host a talk show.
That's the triple crown. Yeah, he went and hosted the talk show.
Okay, so this is Tyne Daly
or Val Kilmer
is in this movie.
The year
you're not going to like this
is 1976.
Fuck, I don't know.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin.
He says this movie is about a rule breaker
and he says that
it's violent
and
it's a formula that just seems to work.
So he kind of likes it.
I don't know what he thinks.
Three stars, so yeah.
Kind of works, but it's violent
And he names eight names
Eight
Smart opening bit
DC, who hasn't said a word
Name that movie
Wait, what?
It's interesting
Yeah, I think it's going to work
I think it's mean to work. I think it's mean.
Wait, you called me?
I think it's not in the spirit of a woot monkey
and a barf bag.
Gillian, I came to win, son.
I'm doing this for Mike.
But you know, to qualify for the tournament,
you know, you got to try to get a negative name.
Oh, you're right. Shit. Yeah, that's true. Wait, can know, you got to try to get a negative name. Oh, you're right.
Shit.
Yeah, that's true.
Wait.
So you blew that.
Yeah, I did.
Wait, can I take it back and try it in negative one?
Because I think I might know what it is.
No, I can't do that.
I got a name.
I got a tournament name.
I'll fully allow that.
Me too.
All right.
So you're going negative one?
Yeah, negative one.
All right, David.
And backstage, we were all talking about winning and losing,
and then DC was like, I don't care that much.
Gillian's like, I don't care that much.
But then DC revealed that his girlfriend's parents
have a family crest that below it says, we never lose.
Yeah, I'm dating Jack Donaghy from Dirty Rock.
Sure, I'll do negative one.
What's your bid, Lemon?
Name it, dude.
I'm just going to guess that it's Dirty Harry starring Clint Eastwood.
Sigh in the audience, because it's The Enforcer starring Clint Eastwood.
Oh, shit!
Well.
Yeah, that's why he was
complaining about the formula of it
because it seems to work.
Yeah, David gets a point.
Oh.
But at least you didn't, you know.
I didn't embarrass myself.
Oh, and then immediately.
Because even if you heard
Tyne Daly and Clint Eastwood,
you wouldn't have come up with it.
Don't dangle that tournament
of championships in front of me
and I messed up.
Like a regular Andrew Garfield in the social network.
Oh.
I saw that one.
No, no, no.
He was great in it.
I mean, his character messed up.
Yeah, yeah.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
All right.
We're going to start with Gillian again.
Oh, great.
Yes.
And, but we'll go to David this time. You're not pouting your way out of this one. Going to David this time. Oh, great. Yes. And, but we'll go to
David this time.
You're not pouting
your way out of this one.
Going to David this time.
I'm not pouting.
You're gonna make me name it
on feminist day?
I got out of a ticket
on my way here.
What?
All right, three names.
I mean mean three categories
they are from at Delorium
for sale suggested
martial art films
nope those are films made by
Gary or Penny Marshall
Martin Urbano
suggested Dom and Dahmer
and that's films with
serial killers in them.
Or Dom Irera.
It's too late for me to put one in there,
but yeah, that's a good point.
And In Theaters Now.
That's movies that are in theaters now.
All right, In Theaters Now.
In Theaters Now.
Okay.
Save those fun categories for another time.
Wait, who's doing the breathing?
All of us.
We're making dirty phone calls over here.
Okay, I've got to pick a movie that's in theaters now.
Leonard, you know, doesn't give stars when he reviews a current movie,
and he writes a lot about it,
so I have to be very careful
of picking out the clues.
He calls this movie good.
I like the name of that movie.
He says that there's a quality
to this movie that makes it so fresh.
It's an outcast movie.
Outcast bumping up and down
the street? No, because the protagonist
turns out to be flawed,
he says. Huh. Yeah. That's new.
It's a crazy
twist. And yeah,
and it's in theaters now, and Leonard
only lists four names.
So how many names do you think
you'd have to hear?
Four.
Smart.
David?
You're going to have
to name it.
Name that movie.
Ooh.
Okay.
Sorry.
Because you don't feel
like you...
Four is rough.
Four is...
That's a tough one.
Okay.
I got it.
You think so?
Because some of those
people will be
the stars of the movie.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Quite potentially all four of them.
Well, then I feel like whatever you said has to stick.
I'm comfortable with that.
I like it.
This could be a new take on the show,
is everyone negotiating.
Come on, GJ.
I used to just shut it down, but you guys have been such a
great panel that I entertain it.
But your
four names are
this is in theaters
now. They are
Catherine Zeta-Jones,
Channing Tatum.
Oh, side effects.
I'm not finished.
Jude Law and Rooney Mara.
Yeah, side effects.
See?
Oh, man.
See how easy that was?
I wouldn't have gotten it.
Well, you could have passed it down to him.
He wouldn't have let you have three names, I don't think.
I don't know.
What's the dumbest choice to make?
Because that's what I'll do, apparently, judging by the one time I've played.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
I'm starting to go through it.
Guess what?
We're starting with you. All right. Let's do it. Oh, guess what? I'm starting to go through it. Guess what? We're starting with you.
So this is your chance to make it work.
Would you like
Big Jim Moser suggested
Plaque History Month?
And that's of course
films that have a dentist
in them.
No TV stuff.
It's not Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
And he just wanted to be a dentist.
He was not one yet.
Or,
did I say Master JB2000
already tonight? I think I did.
This guy's got some good categories. Or lady.
Veggie Tales.
And that's
films where someone is in a coma
and at Merkin McGee
I'm going to make a movie
about rollerbladers versus people in comas
after my blind people versus skateboarders
Merkin McGee
suggested Tango Unchained
and that's
movies where Sylvester Stallone gets out of prison
I don't remember
if he does any time in Over the Top
I think it's implied that maybe
he did at a point in an opening crawl
Right, because he was separated from that's the importance of him bonding with his child I think it's implied that maybe he did at a point in like an opening crawl.
Right, because he was separated from,
like that's the importance of him bonding with his child.
Yeah.
He hadn't really, he doesn't really know his kid.
I think you have to go with DeStalone.
I'm going to go with the people in comas.
Oh.
Damn.
Would you like a movie with someone in a coma from 1995 or 2003?
I'm going to go with...
Could somebody shut that door?
I'm going to go with...
Shit.
1995.
Should have gone with 2003.
Are you trying to get inside his head?
Two and a half.
Oh, which way is it going after him?
Who challenged last time?
You challenged her, right?
Yes. Yeah, so we go to Gillian after DC.
So she's getting in position to take him on.
I'm ready.
Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 1995.
He says it's about someone who is lonely.
And he says, it's a cute story, but it should have been snappier.
Snappier, yeah.
Snap it out.
And he lists
11 names.
11 names. I'm gonna go
I guess 8.
That's an interesting
opening bid. I could do it in 6.
Okay.
I couldn't. I couldn't.
Why? Don't say that,
Pokermouth.
I'm going to say...
Do I know this?
I'm going to say name it.
I'd like to see you on Jeopardy.
Okay, do I know this?
Alex, what is...
Is milk?
What happened?
I have to do something now.
Okay, how many names did she get?
Six.
Okay, you want the clues again?
Yeah.
It's a cute story.
Should have been snappier.
It's about someone who's lonely from 1995.
Two and a half stars.
It's probably Van Wilder 2, Rise of Taj, right?
National Lampoon.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder 2, Rise of Taj.
And your six names are Monica Kina,
Allie Walker,
I don't know who that is.
Michael Rispoli.
He always plays that guy.
Jason Bernard.
Nope.
Nicole Mercurio.
That's a rough one.
Come on.
I know, right?
And Glynnis Johns.
Nope.
She has the same initials as you, though.
You're quick with that.
That's like built in as a DC.
Settle down, DH.
Doing a lot of initials humor tonight.
Someone's in a coma.
It's 1995.
That's the main thing to keep in mind, I think.
Someone's in a coma. Just think of a movie
where someone was in a coma
and you will go home the winner.
If not...
What was that movie with Sandra Bullock
While You Were Sleeping? That's the only one I can
think of from the 90s. God damn it!
You are the winner!
Nicely done.
I'm angry at her for it.
That face was worth it, though.
How the fuck do you,
where do you get off?
Not since Sarah Silverman came on here
during Feminist Day last year.
That's so fun.
You really didn't know.
It just finally jumped in there.
Yeah.
Just put my thinking cap on.
Well, you and Eddie both
are really strategic and sneaky.
She also wants me to say, free Susan
Silverman and her daughter.
What does that mean? They were
arrested in Israel for
trying to be at the Wailing...
Yeah, with the prayer shawl.
This deals with feminist issues,
so this is timely, Eddie.
I appreciate it.
Ladies and gentlemen, Britta.
That was very Britta. That was very Brita.
It was intensely Brita.
Was it not?
Was it not?
Congratulations.
There's no better place for an important statement about the world than on a barf bag at a game
show in a 100 seat theater in Los Feliz.
Yeah, Israel women, buy my young adult book with the word crap in it, you know, all that
kind of stuff.
It's a popular podcast.
Many more people will hear it.
People are going to hear this. And see this lovely barf bag. crap in it. You know, all that kind of stuff. It's a popular podcast. Many more people will hear it than
see this lovely bar track.
The thing about stoners, too, is they're going to
immediately do something about it.
It's not just stoners that listen to this.
Some. Did you write a shithead on the
back of this, Brian? It's his own name.
Your own name? Should I just say that? The Blue Monkey's got a shithead on the back of this, Brian? It's his own name. Your own name? Should I just say that?
The Blue Monkey's got a shithead on it.
That's a good one.
What do you like to plug, David,
before we wrap it up here?
We're doing it.
That guy was headed out.
Brian needs his lunch pass back.
Brian's got to come down and pick a shithead.
Were you on your way down here?
Yeah.
Momentum issues?
Are you one of those stoners he was speaking of?
Brian the intern's going to write down,
Evan the intern.
Intern wars.
I'll be at La Stats in San Diego
in Normal Heights on Tuesday the 19th.
We're doing a Professor Blastoff live tour
probably starting in late April.
And I have a new CD called Explosion Land
coming out April 9th.
There might be some pre-order things coming up soon.
And that's it.
We have no time for your plugs, DC and Gillian.
No worries.
What are you going to be? What are you doing?
My book, Crap Kingdom, comes out March 7th,
but I'm trying to get on the New York Times bestseller list,
so please pre-order it before then.
Pre-order it right now. You can go to crapkingdom.com,
and if you pre-order it, I will write your name
into a custom rap song I will then perform on YouTube.
I've already done it for 100 people,
so join them in immortality with a custom rap.
Go to crapkingdom.com
to find out how.
If I do it, will you
say my part in Dennis Haysbert
voice? Absolutely. Okay, good.
And
communities on Thursday nights at
8 o'clock. Correct. From now on, right?
Yeah, we're back. It's a big smash hit.
Can we get the box on Blu-ray?
I don't know about that.
I don't know about that.
But the either potentially wonderful or terrible Burt Wonderstone is coming out soon as well.
I've heard it's okay.
Thanks.
Really?
You know somebody that saw it?
No.
Oh.
Thank you.
All right, you guys.
I just wanted you to get
you know.
Take your time. I'm just wrapping it up.
I just like imagining David
asking somebody, what's the buzz on Wonderstone?
I just want you to get all fired up.
What's going on with that, baby buddy?
What's going on with Wonderstone?
What's the buzz on Wonderstone?
I can't wait to check out Wonderstone. I heard it's magical.
Monday I'm taping Benson Interruption
right here at Meltdown Comics.
Yeah, yeah.
This isn't Meltdown Comics, I'm pretty sure,
but here in town,
and I probably already mentioned that earlier in the show,
so I will just say thank you to my guests,
DC Paris, Aguilera, Jacob, David Huntsberger.
Hang out for a second.
I'm going to take that picture
I was telling you about.
With a table in it.
We're featuring the table prominently.
Can we not have the table in the picture?
During the end theme.
I'll try to frame it out of it.
Okay, cool.
And as always,
North Korea is a shithead.
And, wait, no. She doesn't get to pick one but rex reed is a good one oh he wrote it down right here the pope's dick is a shithead
now it's time for doug to watch another Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.