Doug Loves Movies - Gillian Jacobs, Laura Silverman, Cameron Esposito, and Eddie Pepitone Guest
Episode Date: October 28, 2014Doug welcomes actors Gillian Jacobs and Laura Silverman to the show, along with comics Cameron Esposito and Eddie Pepitone.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priva...cy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 acid pop-up kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies!
Hey everybody, my name's Doug and I love movies.
There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies!
That was a pretty good one. Pretty happy with that one. My name's Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.
That was a pretty good one.
Pretty happy with that one.
Coming to you from the U to the C to the B and the L to the A on Tuesday, October 27th, 2014,
Wolfman.
Oh.
Thank you for having such strong appreciation
of my abbreviation of that thing
that's gotten really irritating
that I wish I'd never started.
But I'll stop on the last show in December.
It'll be the full, build-a-title opening.
San Francisco, Doug loves scary movies,
comes to Cobbs this Thursday, October 30th,
and should plop Friday, this Friday, October 31st, All Hallows' Eve.
So everyone will get to listen to the Halloween episode day of.
There'll be some Halloween touches tonight probably because we're getting close.
Thursday, no, it says then, Doug.
Then, Saturday, I'm doing
stand-up at the Punchline
in Sacramento at 420.
Let's do this, Sacktown. Let's punch
this sack.
Now it's time for tweet relief, tweets about movies.
At Matt Bacchus tweeted,
this Halloween, my friend is
dressing up as a sexy alien,
and I'm going as a sexual predator.
This has been...
I should
apologize to Matt Bacchus. I assume it's Bacchus.
Maybe it's Bacchus, but
because today I was...
Earlier today I taped At Midnight
and the opportunity came up
to make a joke about a predator.
There was a double entendre between sexual predators
and the predator from the movie Predator.
And I fucking jumped on it.
This has been Tweet Relief,
the three days before Halloween edition.
L.A. friends, I'm doing a Benson movie interruption of Lucy,
the Luc Besson batshit classic.
Modern classic.
Next Monday, this upcoming Monday,
November 3rd, cinefamily.org
for tickets and more info.
Oh, and also, Los Angeles,
I hate using the word foodies,
but people who enjoy food more than just need it.
Because you don't really need this much food.
If you want a delicious, tiki-inspired dining experience
prepared by Chef Andy Windack,
who's been on Dining with Doug and Karen a few times,
at WindAttack on Twitter,
go to CoconutClubLA.com.
I went last night, and they do a whole presentation
and eight courses and four different crazy drinks and like a weird shot that came in a clam.
And it was tiki-rific, you guys.
The prize bag has got some really fun stuff in it because the other night I got to go to a screening of Big Hero 6, which Doug digs quite a bit.
I enjoyed it.
I got to say I'm biased because T.J. Miller bit. I enjoyed it. I gotta say I'm biased,
because T.J. Miller's a voice in it,
and he actually, at one point,
like I lost my mind when this happened,
he actually says at one point,
science, yeah!
And then towards the end of the movie,
I don't want to do too many spoilers,
but towards the end of the movie,
he says something else, followed by yeah,
and it's just like both times,
I was like, that's crazy.
He says that all the time on my show
when I want him to shut up.
So yeah, so
oh, so the reason I brought that up, why'd you bring that up
Doug? Is because
from that party screening that I went to
the other night, a delicious looking
Big Hero 6 cookie
that's all packaged and everything
plus cookies from Deluscious
because I was on
at midnight today and they always give us
these cookies and I don't eat that sort
of thing anymore.
I'm giving you my garbage.
No, but these things look, these cookies
look amazing and they're all individually wrapped.
I didn't get a single
prize bag gift
from the people backstage
for some reason. That was
weird. But I know that they brought some
stuff and we'll get them out here right now.
And also, I think it's the last one.
I think I've finally run out.
Yeah, so let's have a moment of silence
for Pop's Hot Dogs.
And it's just one. You can't even take
a friend this time
to win the prize bag. Give a friend a cookie and say just come with me so I can have my goddamn hot dogs. And it's just one. You can't even take a friend this time to win the prize bag.
Give a friend a cookie and say,
just come with me so I can have my goddamn hot dog.
But as you can see, there's four...
Oh no, cookie.
There's four chairs out here,
which means four amazing guests,
one of whom was not here when I started.
So we'll see.
Do you think she's going to make it?
Is it good?
I think she's on the way.
Okay, cool.
Please give a big warm welcome to Eddie Pepitone, Cameron Esposito
is not here for some, I mean, for whatever reason.
But we'll find out when she gets here.
The producer has told me that she's on her way. And everything's good. is not here for whatever reason, but we'll find out when she gets here.
The producer has told me that she's on her way,
and everything's good.
Laura, pick up your microphone.
Don't clean your glasses now.
You don't have to see anything.
I noticed how dirty they were.
Once you came out on stage,
you noticed you had dirty glasses on? I cleaned them with a piece of ham.
That's first-time guest Laura Silverman, everybody.
Thank you.
Did I remind you to bring
something for the prize bag?
No, but I listened to last week's podcast
so I would know what I was supposed to do.
And I gleaned that that was a single gift.
You think that other guests would do that sort of thing.
But they don't.
They don't at all.
So I appreciate it.
So what did you bring us?
What I brought was,
I brought this Bob's Burgers...
Tote bag.
Tote bag.
That's the prize bag now.
I'm going to get rid of this piece of shit.
It's beautiful.
And then inside of it is my own long-held personal copy
of the movie Clifford,
which I feel like I'm ready to give away.
But then Gillian really wanted it,
and I hesitated,
but I'm going to give it away to somebody tonight.
Yeah, enjoy it.
She feels like we should spread the Clifford love.
Oh, that's nice that you came to that conclusion,
because I'm going to take it.
No, it's all good.
It's very nice of you to give that away.
Clifford is an amazingly weird movie.
So Gillian Jacobs is here once again.
Returned guest.
Monster game player.
And why are you so into Clifford?
I think it's a very underrated Martin Short performance
in which he plays a small boy
but does nothing to alter his appearance
to make him look younger.
No, he's just in a hole on every set.
He's always just shorter than everybody else, so to speak.
Martin Shorter.
Yeah, but it's a crazy-ass movie
because it's not a main, beyond that weirdness, it's
also just not told in a very straightforward, I mean, he's such a strange character.
Clifford is so odd that it's like, I bet a lot of people would be frustrated with it
rather than entertained.
No.
Much like the character that Charles Grodin plays, who's very frustrated by Clifford.
He's frustrated for you, which is
what he's great at. He is good at
it, but I also, I do like a Charles Grodin
that's got shit under control
as well. He's an amazing actor.
I think it's probably the performance
of his career.
I'll second that. Did you see him as a doctor
in Louis?
I missed that. Oh, it's so good.
Was it last season? The most recent season. Yeah, I missed that. Oh, it's so good. Was it last season?
The most recent season. Yeah, I missed that season.
All right, cool.
Would you break for the bag here, Gillian?
It looks elaborate.
So much.
So much.
Well, we have another bag that you brought.
Yeah.
I brought a birthday crown that my mother gave me.
On a specific birthday?
Yeah.
Okay.
I brought a sweatshirt.
What's that name number?
That is a,
it's a very glistening.
Yeah.
It looks like
a molting snowman.
It feels like
a molting snowman.
Yeah.
It's got a really weird
texture to it
that I'm going to enjoy later.
I'm hanging on to this one.
I brought
a bloody baby doll.
Is there an explanation? Well, I bought bloody baby doll. Is there an explanation?
Well, I bought this baby doll originally for the Comedy Bang Bang podcast
because I was trying to convince Gary Marshall that we had had a child
and he owed me child support.
Do you think the plastic baby ever works in those scenarios?
Well, his vision might not be that great, you know?
That looks like a regular baby.
Uh-oh.
She made it, you guys.
Haven't even introduced everybody yet,
so we could have just played it cool.
Apologies to Doug Loves Movies, first of all.
Cameron Esposito, everybody.
Sorry.
That's all right.
Is there an explanation?
I was shooting something today,
and I got some vegetarian food,
and I went home.
I forgot about the rest of my life.
I just was like, well, pulling off false eyelashes,
just feeling like I really did it all.
I mean, I have a show in 45 minutes.
I don't know why I couldn't remember I also have a show now.
But I look great.
I get it.
I get it.
And I appreciate you racing down here.
Yeah.
Like, in such good time,
because we haven't even introduced everybody.
Gillian is telling us about this baby that she murdered.
Just because she doesn't like Valentine's Day,
the Gary Marshall film.
And so,
you're willing to give
this thing up for the bag?
Yeah, come on.
It didn't work.
I didn't fool him.
I got more.
I have a watch,
a new watch,
a Baby G
shock-resistant watch.
Yeah.
That looks cool.
Yeah.
And I have...
Somebody's going to really clean up tonight.
I have a mouse pad.
That's what I want.
It says Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, light the night walk.
That's what I want.
Yeah.
Can't get a good mouse pad.
Hey, you know what?
Makeshift diaper.
Here we go.
And I have this community-branded notebook
that Yahoo Screen has made.
So there you go.
I like that.
Yeah.
I think that you should be the first entry
in the community notebook.
Grab whatever you want to the winner
and make it a nice
pleasant surprise for them. You know, like when you go
home after everybody signed
your yearbook in school
and then you open it up and
dicks are drawn all over every face
that is yours
in the entire thing.
Well, that is a nice pile of prizes you brought
to Killian. The prize bag is
officially two bags, you guys.
Oh, wait, what?
There's another thing in there.
No, this is not to give away.
Eddie gave me a copy of a movie of his that I'm not giving you guys.
But I didn't have anywhere to put it but this bag.
Eddie Pepitone is here, everybody.
Hello, everybody.
Wow.
Do you hate sometimes when you're trying to shove a baby into a bag and it just won't fit?
It's so aggravating.
Absolutely, but luckily they're supple and those fontanelles are soft.
So always just jammed by the head first.
Head first.
Oh, and the baby's head doesn't smell good at all.
That's such a lie.
They should.
Yeah, it smells like it was made.
Because everybody's always talking about how babies smell great.
Eddie, have you flown on a plane?
I don't know if it's all planes,
but I do know that on Delta, the Bitter Buddha is like an option you can choose
when you're riding on a plane.
Have you flown on a plane and washed yourself?
I did, and I'll tell you, what happens is that I fly on a plane. Have you flown on a plane and watched yourself? I did. I did. And I'll tell you, what happens is that
I fly on a Delta plane
and I then look around
to see if anybody's watching it.
And, you know, I suggest...
And then...
But when I get off...
Come on, you've already seen Darts of the Galaxy.
And then when I get off,
I usually want two people to be like,
I just watched your movie.
How surreal for them.
Yes, it is.
Especially if that plane went down.
I should never have chosen this.
We would have lived.
He's very bitter.
Well, that's the interesting thing to me it's almost like you know
you're there to comfort people
the filter hires me
no I'm saying people that choose your movie
they get to watch a guy that's more upset
about life than they are
you know while they're stuck on this plane
for several hours
but you're also so
philosophical
if you guys haven't seen it,
you've got to check it out. It's called Bitter Buddha.
And throughout the film,
they drop in tweets that you write.
That's right.
And they're so goddamn funny.
And you brought tonight for us a vinyl.
A vinyl record
of my first album
called A Great Stillness.
And it's a very cool, cool vinyl record
from Stand Up Records.
It is very cool.
And you signed it, too.
Yeah.
And there's a flattened baby
in the,
there's a flattened baby
in the record.
Very supple babies.
Thank you for that.
So what do you got,
I think you said
you had something
that you wanted to promote
coming up or something?
Ah, yes, I have,
well, what just came out
on Netflix
was my first hour-long comedy special on television.
Well, it's on Netflix.
And what's that one called?
It's called In Ruins, directed by Steve Fine Arts,
who directed The Bitter Buddha.
Of course he did.
And yeah, and I'm pretty happy.
I get a very good response from it.
How could you not go into the world of fine arts
when your last name is fine arts
I thought he was lying to me
how does he become a scientist
save that for Joe Scientist
thank you so much for coming back
you were on a show in New York
that was exciting
I was overloaded with excitement
in New York.
That's my hometown.
And first time doing Doug Love's movies.
And it was at Gramercy Park.
It was a place you normally.
Gramercy Theater, yes, yes.
Gramercy Theater.
Oh, no, no.
We moved over that one time to the Irving Plaza.
Irving Plaza.
And I always wanted to perform in Irving Plaza.
There you go.
Well, I'll try to do one.
Where else would you like to perform?
MSG?
The O2 Center. Okay. I'll try to do one. Where else would you like to form? MSG? The O2 Center.
Okay.
I'll try to do one there sometime.
That would be awesome if you did the O2 Center.
You could yell as much as you want.
People would be like, we could barely hear it.
But thanks, dude.
Thanks for having me.
I hope you have fun tonight.
Yeah.
Cameron brought a copy of her most recent recording, her CD, if you will.
Same sex symbol.
And there's no baby in here because I can't make those.
Because I don't have all the raw materials.
I got just two eggs.
I could feel, but yeah, okay.
Well, Eddie, sometimes when you're not a lesbian, a man has a penis. Sometimes when you're not a lesbian, a man has a penis.
Sometimes when you're not a lesbian, a man has a penis.
But when you're a lesbian, no men have penises.
That's what I've learned.
I just don't like talking about transgender issues.
Well, why is that?
I feel like that's what's on.
Why is that? You got a vagina under that baggy shirt
I don't know
what is going on
I just don't know
what is going on
you've never checked it out
with any of it
you know
I'm just a
I'm from Brooklyn
and we
I thought we were
talking about
your own body
you said
I don't know
what's going on
oh with my own body
lately
I volunteer
in my mind
in that moment I I was like,
listen, I don't have a vested interest in this,
but I will check it out.
I was going to do an exam on you.
Yeah, she'll look at it.
She won't necessarily enjoy it.
But thank you for that.
Same sex symbol, you guys.
Check it out on wherever you buy that stuff.
iTunes.
And Laura Silverman's's voice you may recognize from a little program called dr cats where she was the receptionist you forgot
you did that no and then i remember now and uh she and uh she is also, she plays Jane on that great show
The Comeback, which is making a comeback.
I love that show. It's so good.
And it's coming back on November 8th,
I want to say. Sunday, November
9th, which is just around the corner.
There you go, yeah. Where fudge is made.
Check out
The Comeback.
Only if you have a penis.
And it's like when they decided
they were going to do the show, they were very adamant
about getting everybody back and they got
the whole same cast back.
And it looks like
it's even more meta than
the first time around.
Yeah, yeah, that is true.
I read an article about it today.
It said it's
very meta.
No, it is. It said it's very meta. No, it is.
It's crazy.
It's like they went crazy with the meta, meta, meta, meta.
Because it was so ahead of its time when it started.
And now it's like we're so overloaded.
I'm trying to say something smart.
We're so overloaded and saturated now.
I finally got them clean.
Never wipe on your t-shirt though
because there could be dust or something.
I knew this was right out of the wash.
Because you scratch the lens
and you're fucked.
It doesn't always have to be about movies here, you guys.
Sometimes some tremendous life tips
get thrown down.
You brought it up.
You got to take it.
Yeah, it was ahead of its time.
And now it's like 10 years later, everything is so completely saturated that where do you go from there?
So we just like went off the deep end.
I say we, not me.
I just showed up and did what they told me to.
But yeah.
It's awesome.
I'm excited that it's back.
It's really good. it's really good it's really good
Gillian
has a thing
a thing
she has a
some sort of deal
some thingy
bopper
a motion picture
called Life Partners
with Leighton Meester
and that's gonna be out
on November 6th
right?
yeah I think so
is that right?
I think that's about right.
Great.
I love that.
I love your attitude.
Look it up.
I mean, maybe we're wrong.
Maybe we're wrong.
Just look it up.
Yes, it is a movie that I am proud of.
Cool.
And I'm happy that it is coming to theaters and on demand.
Please watch it.
And the title Life Partners
is that
Life Partners
is that misleading
oh well
Leighton and I
play two
inseparable
best friends
there you go
and then
I
get into a relationship
and it causes
some friction
in our friendship
oh
single wife
female too
maybe you have to
watch and see
okay
I'm in.
I'm already deeply into it.
You're appropriating my people's language?
Well, that's why he's scared.
It just rings true with me.
Whenever I get into a relationship,
it always hurts other friends.
Always.
Gillian, you're in the box
yes
I've never seen that movie
I'm not surprised
very few people have
yes I am in the box
what are you playing there
not the title role I hope
that would be horrible
I'm also often
in the box.
In the box.
That was just waiting for you.
I just feel like at this point, it's like I've already
established my character.
And there's just so many
gifts that have been laid out for you.
Yes, I am in the box.
I am myself often
in the box.
And if you watch it frequently.
And yes, it's a movie.
I feel like you think you're on the spot to make a speech about the box.
Let me tell you about the box.
It's a strange film.
Check it out if you'd like to.
Like Frank Langella, half of his face
is missing or something?
It's based on a
Philip K. Dick story.
Oh, no, sorry.
A Richard Matheson story
that was in
Twilight Zone episode
called Button Button.
And so it starts from there
and then just kind of goes,
yes, somebody watched it.
The smart guy in the audience.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Donuts.
Well, that's cool.
Now when I check
that movie out,
because I still do
want to see it.
I mean,
even if it's not
worked out great,
that guy is
an interesting filmmaker.
Yes, Richard Kelly
who did Donnie Darko
directed it and wrote it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think
he's a cool guy.
He is a cool guy.
Cameron, really quickly,
let me just apologize
to you right now. I think we're a cool guy. He is a cool guy. Cameron, really quickly, let me just apologize to you right now.
I think we're running behind schedule.
She, of course, is the host of Put Your Hands Together.
And we're going to run right after this show.
Yeah, who's sticking around for tonight?
Yeah, stick around.
A lot of people.
What a fucking shitty round of applause, you pieces of shit.
Just lie to me me I'm right here
this is an honest
crowd
lie to my faces
totally honest crowd
some of them have
things to do
dental appointments
dental
night time
dental
massage
they got things to do
but
since we have
such a wonderful
panel tonight
and it is
the week of Halloween
before we play some games
let me just quickly ask everybody
starting with you Eddie
do you have a favorite scary movie?
I think my scariest favorite movie
does The Shining count?
that's absolutely
my favorite
scary movie
did you think to the rest of us?
It might have been a silly romp?
No, because I thought you were...
It doesn't seem to fit into a Halloween genre.
The Halloween genre these days
seemed to be to be a guy with a pumpkin head
and a very large kitchen knife.
You know what I mean?
And he comes back every certain amount of years.
But The Shining...
Instead of... You Shining instead of
a lunatic with an axe
that's the difference
because that's what happens in The Shining if you may recall
right but what's
well it's Kubrick
it's Artie
and I go for Artie
it's not afraid to be boring for stretching
which I like and also not make much sense in other times go for Artie. It's not afraid to be boring for stretching.
Which I like. And also not make much sense in other times.
Because Jack Nicholson seems like a lunatic
driving up to the cab and he's like, his eyes
are in the back of his head. Wendy,
we're gonna have a... And like, it's weird.
And it introduced me to
Shelley Duvall, who's so batshit
crazy in that. Just the big eyes
and like, Jack!
It was a crazy eyeball family.
Yeah, that kid lucked out, right?
Right. I mean, he has weird vision
for other stuff.
Do you think when that kid got older he ever finger-banged
a girl while that Tony
was talking? Remember how he
talked with his finger? Yes, that scared me
I think the most. Do you think he's ever
banging a girl and the finger's like, I'm afraid of caves.
Yeah.
I mean, I will say, I also often talk with my fingers.
Sorry, I'm so sorry.
This has got to continue now.
That's true.
Most lesbians know sign language.
That's kind of an underground thing.
They learn it so they can talk to each other
or monkeys if they're in the Congo.
So what... Yeah, so The Shining and Danny,
that whole Danny isn't here anymore scared
me for a little while.
Really? The talking finger got you?
I don't like kids in general.
Well, in horror movies.
They're so manipulative.
Did you see the TV version of The Shining?
The kid in that was unbelievably
annoying. Really terrible. To me, that's like remaking Psycho. You don version of The Shining? The kid in that was unbelievably annoying.
Really terrible. I don't watch...
No, to me, that's like remaking Psycho.
You don't remake The Shining.
But Stephen King didn't like the movie of The Shining.
He's the one that insisted on the TV version.
He wanted a better version of it.
Is that right?
He was wrong.
But as we've learned with...
Yeah, like a very straightforward adaptation
isn't necessarily the best way to go.
There should be a little...
Put your own stamp on it.
My father always told that to me.
Put your own stamp on it
when you're remaking The Shining, Eddie.
I never got around to it.
I never got around to it.
Oh my God, you would be so great in The Shining.
In the very least...
Your cap is here!
I was going to say, maybe in the Scatman Crothers role.
That's right!
I would have been good in the Scatman.
I would like to see you get killed
in Blackface, getting killed with an axe
out in the snow.
Anybody know how to get shoe polish off your face?
That would have been my first one.
I don't like the way they use kids,
and I'll end with this.
I don't like the way...
Could you wrap it up?
You've got the light two minutes ago.
I know.
The way they use kids in horror movies, it's so manipulative.
Like, I hate the little girls, especially.
It's little girls.
It's like, there's something out the window.
Like, fuck you.
You know, like, fuck you is my initial gut reaction because they say it
obviously the director is telling them try to be as pathetic as you can don't talk like a real
person talk like where is the money we're a family I don't want to get hurt in the family.
We love each other.
Fuck that.
We don't want to get in the blood elevator.
Yeah.
All right.
Thank you for that, though.
Great example.
Watch The Shining, everybody.
And also Room 237, I think it's called,
is a documentary all about it.
That blew my mind.
It's fascinating, yeah.
That's amazing.
It's really fun.
And it showed me how easily I can be manipulated by the next opinion I hear.
Like, oh yeah, that guy's right.
And then the next guy, I'm like, no, no, no, he's right.
That guy's wrong through the whole movie.
Yeah, that's the flip when they're like, Danny has an Apollo rocket, like a sweater on his shirt.
And everybody says that's proof that Kubrick was involved in faking the moon landing.
And then the next guy along goes, yeah, he put a kid in his shirt with a rocket to make fun of the fact that people thought that he had faked the moon landing.
I buy that what's amazing is that if you do just have a knowledge of history
you can see any
product in a movie and if you do have
like a good knowledge of history you can say
well that flower
tin has the American Indians
on it which then represents X, Y, and Z
because you know about American Indians now I don't have knowledge of
anything so I just watch these movies
like what's going to happen to Danny I don't have knowledge of anything, so I just watch these movies like, what's going to happen to Danny?
I don't fucking know about this symbol.
Like, I don't, you know, I don't know history.
Right, but there's like crazy shit.
Like, in one room, there's a poster on the wall for a ski resort, and it's a hotel that closes during the winter because they get too snowed in.
So no one's coming to that hotel to go skiing because they're closed for the entire winter. But there's
a poster for it. It's just fucking weird.
And people get into it.
We gotta move on. We gotta move on.
I feel like that feels
like too close of a watch
on that movie. You know what I mean?
Get out of your house!
It's crazy, but it's fun that somebody
made a documentary, and the guy uses clips
from The Shining quite extensively.
And also clips from other movies to illustrate all of the scenes.
And it's the same guy who did Room 222, the television series.
That is absolutely not true.
And he did 227?
Also, when they were moving on up?
If it starts with tutu, he's involved.
I know that guy. He's a dancer. Do you were moving on up? If it starts with tutu, he's involved. Yeah. I know that guy.
He's a dancer.
Do you have a scary movie?
That was hilarious.
Do you have a scary...
Everybody senses I want to move on.
Do you have a scary movie that you want to recommend to everybody?
Cameron?
Well, I'll be honest with you guys.
I'm scared of everything.
Terrified of murderers, especially.
I sleep with a pillow on my chest and a knife
in the side bed table
I just have enough time
while they stab me
to grab my knife
whatever you do
don't accidentally
knife your girlfriend
through the bathroom door
I know
it's a real problem
you think she's an intruder
I will be
sentenced to at least
seven years in prison
which is too short
of a time
we're talking about
Oscar Pistorius guys
keep up
they're doing it though
they're to retry
him, though, apparently. Are they good?
Yeah, because that's some bullshit.
But I will say that I'm...
They made him run across the courtroom
on his stumps to show how helpless
he was. Did he do that?
Yes. Wouldn't you?
You bet I would!
Cut him off!
So every movie's a scary movie to you,
like Up and The Rescuers?
But I'm fascinated by scary movies.
I'm fascinated by...
So I read all the synopses,
then I look up film stills,
and then sometimes I'll sneak a peek
at 30-second clips.
So I would like to recommend
the part of Silence of the Lambs
where he tells her about the lotion,
and the part of Seven where there's all those Christmas trees
to mask the smell.
But the rest of those movies, you don't have any knowledge of.
I haven't seen it.
No.
I haven't seen it.
We've never had anyone recommend clips.
I love that.
Just check out this one short part.
Yeah, I mean, you can get in and out of Hocus Pocus,
but you've got to get out of there before the zombie shows up. I will tell you
though that everyone in this room has seen
the lotion in the basket scene. I know.
But what was the other one you suggested?
Because I think that one might be more... Oh, Seven?
Oh yeah, everyone's seen that. Yeah, everyone's seen that.
I know these are things we've seen. But especially,
besides the lambs, I think that's really a
perennial. Don't most people watch it on Easter
every year? Well...
I mean... Took over for Wizard of Oz. When I was a kid, we watched Wizard of Oz. like don't most people watch it on Easter every year it does star our leader my leader
I thought we had established what I was gonna go for during the entire show Jody Jody my leader Jodi. She's the leader of us.
Lesbians.
Let me ask you this though.
Was she the leader before that weird speech on the Golden Globes?
You probably always knew she was the leader, right?
Oh!
I knew it in my bones.
I don't know that that weird speech she got real close
but then she didn't say it,
which is a real bummer.
So she's our leader, but under...
Of course, you guys know the order goes.
Alan, Alan Page.
Degenerous Page, Tegan and Sarah.
Okay.
Finally, that's been cleared up.
Laura, do you have a scary movie recommendation?
When I was a kid, I loved The Omen.
I watched that a lot.
This is for you when she jumps off and hangs herself.
Yeah, and just all the different ways,
like getting decapitated by the window glass.
The glass coming out of the back of the truck was pretty sweet.
Yeah, that was all.
I don't know why, but I loved that movie.
In slow motion, too.
Like, now they try to make things more realistic
so they don't slow it down so you can see how fake it looks.
But the glass hits the dude's neck, David Warner,
and his head pops off,
and it just flips through the air a few times
while the glass keeps going.
Because, you know, an object in motion.
But yeah, that's a creepy-ass movie.
And especially the soundtrack of The Omen is like, that's kind of what made it.
Is that do-do-do-do-do?
I don't think I noticed that.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Jazz fingers.
Yeah, that was good.
And then also, like...
No, it's just very religious.
Do-me-sa-de-do-ho-me-ho-me-do.
Oh, it's that kind of thing?
It's just very intense. Yeah, yeah,ilo, holo, holo. It's just very intense.
The shit I hear every night.
Yeah.
The soundtrack of your fever dreams.
Gillian, do you have a horror movie
you can recommend to everybody?
Well, I remember The Exorcist
scaring the crap out of me
at a sleepover.
Anyone else on the panel?
Or her specifically?
Were you hoping
the whole time? I missed my chance
to say the exorcism.
That movie's fucked up.
There's stairs in that, right?
Guys, at the end, the guy goes down the stairs, the priest?
Yes.
The snopes are at stairs.
Speaking of clips, there's a
deleted scene from that movie
where she does a spider walk
down the stairs.
And that is really fucked up. Are you serious?
She's all
backwards. Deleted?
Yeah, it didn't get in the movie
because it's creepy, but it's also like
I could see where that would be the moment where you'd go,
oh, this movie's bullshit.
Because when it came out in the 70s, people lost
their minds. People were vomiting in
theater lobbies and they were
very terrified. The news would
go down there every night and film people crying
and screaming as they laughed and shit.
It was intense. Well, those stairs
though also actually feature prominently
in my life because the one time I tried
to have sex with a man, we were supposed
to walk down.
I've never told this to
anyone, so I'll tell it to my best friends. to walk down. We were supposed to... I've never told this to anyone.
So I'll tell it to my best friends.
We were supposed to walk down those stairs and go purchase condoms.
And we couldn't find any down there.
But I remember thinking,
well, if I just fall down these stairs
and die like a priest,
I won't have to do this.
Still was pretty sure I was straight.
All right, that wasn't so bad.
I thought that was going to be worse.
That's a fine story.
Yeah, it was perfect.
What did you think it was going to be?
I don't know what I thought it was going to be.
You really made it sound like we needed to batten down the hatches.
Holy shit, we only have ten minutes left.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I know.
But we'll go along.
I know people I think I can get away with.
You did what?
I read that whole Leonard Maltin book last night.
Like from cover to cover?
Yes.
Wow.
Maybe, uh, maybe you should go on a date with Sam Levine and have a really awesome conversation.
That's okay.
Remember when he gave this two and a half stars?
He'll be back on the show soon.
People have been requesting his return.
It's good to have a time out every once in a while.
He knows his shit, huh?
He knows his shit.
Too much?
Too much?
He went negative five recently on the Leonard Maltin game on something.
And nailed it.
I was just like, get the fuck off of my shit.
Negative five?
Yeah.
He grew up on the book, so he kind of memorized it, I think.
But that's, you know, good for him.
It finally came in handy.
You know some random comedian
who has a podcast where knowing
the Leonard Maltin book is really helpful.
He was read to sleep
by screenplays.
His father would read him screenplays to sleep.
Never mind. Sorry about that.
I thought it was funny.
Ryan, do you have the edit point?
We don't take shit out of this show.
We bleep it when I say
somebody's name is a shithead that might get me
murdered. But other than that,
we're pretty much
anything's game.
Let the games begin!
Speaking of games,
we got some
name tags.
I think there's even more than, yeah.
People are really stepping up here in Los Angeles.
And you guys get to pick who you want to play for.
So just go out there into the crowd and pick a name tag.
Really?
Yeah, go grab one and bring it back to your seat.
Some involve food.
Some are, there's all sorts of things out there today.
I like it.
While you guys do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
And we're back.
Who are you playing for, Gillian?
I don't know.
Al Pacino in...
A Dog Day Afternoon.
A Dog Day After Youn.
Clever.
So your last name is Youn?
That's my last name, yeah.
There you go.
Good job, buddy.
Well done.
You laminated it.
Nice poster.
He's probably got a shit in on the... What? Is that the shit in? No, it's right here. You laminated it. Nice poster. He's probably got a shithead on the...
What?
Is that the shithead?
No, it's right here.
Okay, he's got it over there.
So if Gillian loses today, we'll have to go to him to see who the shithead is.
Laura, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Wolverjean.
Jean Valjean?
Wolverjean.
Jean Valjean.
Wolverjean.
But the name is Jean.
But her name is Jean.
I know.
Wolverjean. Yeah, there you go. Good job name is Jean. I know. Wolver-Jean.
Yeah, there you go.
Good job.
And there's a shit head on the back.
Don't read that out loud.
What?
Don't read it out loud, what it says on the back.
You seem to be dying to read it.
Don't say those words.
Just flip it back over and pretend you never saw it.
Cameron, yeah, throw your mic down.
Cameron has a bike helmet that says Spock on it.
I think it's a derby helmet, right?
You skate?
A derby, roller derby.
Are you Spock?
You skate for derby?
Spocktopus is your derby name?
That's great.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
She's got it tattooed on her tit?
Yeah.
She's got a Spocktopus tattoo.
Yeah.
Well, I used to call derbies, so that's cool.
So that's why I was drawn to this.
What do you mean you used to call it?
Like you'd phone up the place and say, are any of them hot this week?
I'd be like, put them on!
They're like, they're gone, they're on skates.
Roll them over to me.
I used to be like a derby announcer in Chicago.
That's awesome.
That's very cool.
I love roller derby.
Eddie, do you love roller derby?
I used to loveer Derby. Eddie, do you love Roller Derby? I used to love
Roller Derby.
I used to love the women who beat each other up
around the track.
Is it a little less violent now?
Do you still punch each other?
Oh my god.
You still hit a bitch. Those are her words, not mine.
Don't write you hit a bitch
Doug Benson, Doug Lowe's movies on Twitter.
You don't physically punch them, but you hit them with your hips.
You hit them with your hips.
It's just a bunch
punched with the hips.
And then a step to the right.
Who are you playing for, Eddie?
I'm playing for Punch Drunk Jake.
Alright.
I've seen that one before, right? That's been in play before? Did you win? No, I'm playing for Punch Drunk Jake. All right. I've seen that one before, right?
That's been in play before?
Did you win?
No, not yet.
Okay, he hasn't won yet, so that's only fair.
To determine who goes first in today's game, let's do some lines with Mark.
Let's listen to a pre-recorded recording of the great Mark Wahlberg saying,
is he going to say hello to us?
Nope.
Just going right to the line?
He does a quick hello.
He does a quick hello before the line?
So he's going to say hello and then
share a line from a motion picture with us.
Say it in your microphone as soon as you know what it is.
First person to say it wins this game.
And go ahead and
play the message from Mark.
You guys want to do some lines?
All right, here we go, okay?
Okay.
I got a big day tomorrow.
No, yeah, I'm going to go to Home Depot,
maybe buy some wallpaper.
I got to get some flooring, stuff like that.
You know, maybe I'm going to go bed, bath, and be out.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You know, it doesn't matter.
I don't know if we have enough time.
Here we go again, okay?
No, yeah, I can't. He's doing another one. I got a big day tomorrow. I don't know. You know, it doesn't matter. I don't know if we have enough time. Here we go again, okay? No, yeah, I can't.
He's doing another one.
I got a big day tomorrow.
I mean, the same one.
I'm gonna go to Home Depot.
Italian job.
It's a good stuff day.
I got a nice mall paper.
We can get some flooring, stuff like that.
Give you a little bath and beyond.
I don't know.
I don't know if we're gonna have enough time.
The shooter.
Silver lining, please.
I'm gonna get my boy.
You're my boy, below.
Wait, he's doing another line now.
This is another line.
Did you get it?
Same movie.
No, no, Mark, we didn't get it.
Why would he record himself asking us if we got it?
Does he really think I can interact that naturally with a pre-recording?
Can you play that second line again, Ryan?
Is that possible? Yeah.
All right.
Doing stuff like that, I don't know if we're going to have enough time.
I'm going to give you one more, okay?
In case you didn't get it.
You're my boy, Blue.
You're my boy, Blue.
Old school?
That's correct.
Oh, that's interesting.
He was in that movie.
That's right.
That's why people were giggling while you couldn't get it.
Oh, wait.
It's not from a Mark Wahlberg movie.
Oh, no. I'm sorry.
Oh, I thought it was a Wahlberg movie.
I'm thinking Mystic River.
He's not in that.
I don't think so.
Mystic Pizza, yeah.
Not in that either.
What's the one where
it's always the boss?
It's the departed!
He's got the penis.
You guys, I'll be honest,
I understood the rules.
Well, but it is confusing
because sometimes I forget to mention
it's not necessarily a Mark Wahlberg movie,
but also, it doesn't matter.
We already handed it to him
because it's old school.
Fine. He already handed it to him because it's old school.
He finally got it.
So you get to go first in the only other game we're going to play.
We've got two minutes left.
But I feel confident we can
wrap this up pretty quickly.
I apologize to Laura for
all of her Leonard Maltin game studying.
But it still may help you in this, because it's still movie information.
What we're going to do is we're going to play Last Man Stanton.
And one guy's excited about it.
And what we're going to do is we're going to pick an actor,
actress, or director who has a large body of work.
And we all take turns saying names.
I'll play, too.
Saying names of movies that that person
has been in or involved with.
And not produce, though.
Acting or directing.
Acting, directing. Yeah, whichever ones.
Because sometimes a lot of actors do both.
And
when you can't think of one,
you're out.
Yeah, indeed. And once we're down to one person or two people, if it't think of one, you're out. Oh. Yeah. Indeed.
And once we're down to one person,
or two people if it's one of us, me,
that will be our winner.
And the prize bags will go to the person you were playing for.
And this gentleman in the Doug Loves Movies t-shirt over here,
right?
Where are you from?
San Diego.
San Diego.
So you drove up today for the
you haven't been to the show very often?
Every couple months.
Alright, well I appreciate that dedication.
When you listen to the show
do you have a name that you wish
we would have used in Last Man Stanton that you would like
to suggest right now?
Mark Wahlberg.
Have we done it?
I don't think we have.
We might have, but
it's always a new game because it's always new players.
And I always remember different shit.
So let's do
the films of Mark Wahlberg.
I know you already mentioned one.
If you want to just get that one out of the way, Eddie.
The shooter.
Yes.
Well done
What do you got Cameron?
Boogie Nights
Boogie Nights
The Fighter
Yeah
That's correct Laura
Killian
Three Kings
I gotta go The Happening
How's it going Trees? How you doing Trees? I gotta go to the happening.
How's it going, Trees?
How you doing, Trees?
I'm a science teacher.
I don't even have to have that guy come in anymore.
I don't need Mark Wahlberg.
I'll just pretend to be him.
The departed? Where are we at?
Oh, yeah, the departed, of course.
The next player is always disappointed
by what the person in front of them says.
We'll give you a second to think about it, Cameron.
Do you have any plugs, Eddie,
besides what we talked about earlier?
Yeah, just keep talking, please, if you don't mind.
Let's see.
Go off on one of those rants from earlier
that were so adorable.
You know, think of kids. Is that laugh a no? We're so adorable.
You know, think of kids.
Is that laugh a no?
Bitter Buddha, watch it on... What device thing can you see it on?
You can...
Amazon at this point.
There you go.
You can do it on Amazon.
Check it out there.
Yeah.
Netflix in ruins.
I'm going to be on the Mulaney show this season.
I got to act with
Martin Short in a bunch of scenes.
Oh, really? Was he standing
in a hole and pretending to be a child?
Yeah, I threw a lot of
clippered shit at him. I got it. Here we go.
The most recent Transformers
starring T.J. Miller.
I don't care. It matters.
That counts. I named another
actor in it. I don't care if you don't think I knew which one it was.
Someone said four, they were right.
Well, I mean, you did say Transformers.
Exactly.
You got it in there, but do you know the rest of the title?
Because I'm really picky about full titles.
Well, I know it's not Age of Ultron.
Just narrow it down.
It's not the search for
Curly's gold.
I got it.
It skipped
the one that he's got.
I don't know what it is.
Crystal and it makes
a moonbeam.
No, I think I got it.
Transformers 8.
I sang it.
I sang the song.
More than meets the eye.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Wait.
Thanks for playing.
I don't know.
What is it?
Can we yell it out?
No, no, no. Don't yell it out.
It's still in the play.
Laura?
Plan of the Apes.
Oh, that's such a good one.
It was Stella Warren.
Good job.
Gillian.
Ted.
Ted too doesn't count.
It's not out yet.
I'm going to go with
Rockstar.
Because he did a great job
of portraying an energy drink.
Eddie.
Perfect Storm. The Perfect. Eddie? Perfect Storm.
The Perfect Storm, yes.
The Perfect Storm.
Cameron's like, full title.
So, okay, was he in that?
And this is not my official guess, so...
I'm just going to take a temperature on this.
You have to go official.
And I have another guess.
If you say a title, that's your answer.
Okay, but I don't know the title of the other one I know he was in.
Mm-hmm.
Which is something about...
That reminded me of another one.
Oh, I don't know the other one.
What?
I don't know.
I keep thinking of them.
I know two.
That one, he might not be in.
Just guess at one and get it right.
Do it good.
Is he in I Heart Huckabees?
Yes. Oh, wow.
That's a
good guess. Yeah, dance.
I'm getting cold cuts.
Getting cold cuts.
Feet on desk.
Clock out.
You know what? I'm mad because that was going to be mine.
Oh, yeah.
That's what happens.
Laura and Cameron, do you have a...
Let's start with Cameron.
What do you got to plug?
Oh, what do I have to...
Just please, please purchase Same Sex Symbol.
Wait, are we done?
No, no, I'm thinking.
No, we're still playing the game.
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
I don't know what's happening.
She gets a second to think.
I'm sorry I interrupted you.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Say what you're going to say.
I love you on Bob's Burgers.
I want to tell you to your face.. I love you on Bob's Burgers. I want to tell you to your face.
Isn't she great on Bob's Burgers?
She's great on all that stuff.
You're terrific on Bob's Burgers.
No, please purchase Same Sex Symbol.
It's a huge deal for me.
That, you know what?
I knocked your sister out of her spot for a minute.
Don't tell her I know it, but I did.
I took several pictures.
I don't care.
Yeah, well, anyway,. That album did really well.
It sounded like an indie record label.
I'm really proud of it because I'm just a new little up-and-coming guy.
I was number one
on iTunes, number three
on Billboard. Just this little jackass.
I'm nobody.
But I can move units.
I just thought of another one.
Oh, I thought of another one.
The other guys with Will Ferrell.
I still haven't seen that fucking movie. I've got to see it. Okay, the other guys with Will Ferrell. I still haven't seen that fucking movie.
I gotta see it. Oh, fuck. I should have been thinking.
Alright, so it goes to me and I
will say Four Brothers.
Oh, that's the one I was gonna say.
Sorry. You got some time to think
though, don't you? Now I'm fucked.
Eddie's still in it, isn't he?
Yes.
You're still in it?
And happy about it.
Laura, what are we going to say?
Anything else besides the comeback?
Comes back on November 9th on HBO?
Oh, yeah.
HBO Go, if you watch it the next day?
Yeah, you can watch the first season on HBO Go
or on HBO On Demand currently
or on Amazon Prime as well.
Awesome.
What do you got, Eddie?
I don't know what to think.
What was the one?
It was a murder.
I just thought of another one.
You can't describe it.
No, I can't describe it.
Why do you get to play?
Because it's super fun for me to show off.
It's not Mystic River.
People are always like,
why do you judge everybody else in their trivia knowledge?
Why don't you try? And so here I am.
I don't always win.
And whoever comes in second is our winner.
The Boxer? No.
The one about the door? We already said The Fighter.
We said The Fighter? Yeah, that would already happen.
Mystic River, no.
You're out.
The Boxer is a reasonable title I defend you on that it's wrong but Mark Wahlberg did play the missing
daughter and mystic pizza but they didn't use that footage that was cut from the film like
Kevin Costner from the big chill Laura look to me so sad
I know because I really hung in there
you looked at me with such sadness
and like total
fear in your eyes
crestfallen
anything?
I know that he did some kind of like
shitty ass like
romantic
movie
oh I just thought of another one what? shitty ass like romantic romantic movie
oh I just thought
of another one
what
what
I just
oh I thought of another one
I just keep thinking
oh okay
sorry to throw you off
he did some
kind of romantic movie
he's done action movies
right
action movies
it's a tough game was there a sequel there's the sequel that Planet of the Apes
probably but he wasn't in it fuck that
or are you out no I'm not out I have one I think that he was in something kind of like Planet of the Apes is rebooted after hit the one that he was in something like
probably in
like a
like
like
Rio
okay that's a good guess
I don't even know
I don't think he's done
a voice in any cartoons
but
maybe he was in Rio
but thanks for playing Laura
no he's not in it
maybe he is
how do you know
because no one in this audience
is backing you
Gillian one more you're the winner Lone Survivor do you know? Because no one in this audience is backing you.
Gillian, one more and you're the winner.
Lone Survivor?
Oh, wait, no. We've got to keep
going together because
Eddie's out, right? Yeah, Eddie's out.
I thought I won. You're the winner.
Thank you. But I'm going to say
Fear. Oh.
Like I just said in a sentence while you were trying to
think of a name.
Were he menaced Reese Witherspoon?
Yeah, I've seen the scene where he says,
Nicole forever.
He marries Reese Witherspoon or something?
He menaces her, right?
Yeah, in Fear.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he finger blasts her on a roller coaster.
I've seen that scene also.
He roller blasts her on a finger coaster.
Anything else, Gillian?
That's all you need.
Lovely Bones, Contraband,
Pain and Gain, of course.
Max Pain and Gain.
Italian Handjob.
I even said that in the...
The big hit.
The big hit, yeah.
I kind of like the big hit.
Lou Diamond Phillips is good in that.
Indiana Jones, Crystal Skull.
Who said Indiana Jones and Crystal Skull?
If we had security, you'd be so loud in here.
He did a cocky hand motion when he said that to him.
You missed his guy. I got this. Because he said that to him. You missed it, guys.
I got this.
Because he was behind you,
but if you would have
miked him,
you would have heard
fingers slapping.
Pow.
He's still doing
the hand megaphone
even though he's sitting
two feet from me.
Garrett Morris
on Weekend Update.
What I said was,
good night and have a pleasant tomorrow. Garrett Morris on Weekend Update. What I said was goodnight
and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Apologies again to Put Your Hands Together
and congratulations to
the person that Gillian was playing for.
Where's Yoon at? Come get your prizes, Yoon.
There
Yoon go.
That's all your shit.
Be careful, that one's going to just bust out of the bottom
because there's some heavy stuff in there.
And yeah.
And also, probably put it in the trunk of your car
because you get pulled over that.
The bloody baby's probably a bad thing to have in your car.
I'm going to be at Zany's in Nashville
November 6th and 8th
and douglasmovies.com is where you can go for all of my dates.
Can I see the rest of you? Do you all have
shitheads on the back of your business
there? Laura's does.
Oh, the shithead fell out.
Oh, the shithead fell out of the helmet. Well, that's
an unusual place to put it.
And this one's got one.
Oh, yeah. I've read
this before, right? Yeah.
Two-time loser.
For those of you that are here right now,
go home tonight and watch me at midnight on Comedy Central.
And those of you listening, it's on demand or something.
And one more round of applause for all of my guests.
Eddie Pepitone, Cameron Esposito, Laura Silverman, and
Gillian Jacobs.
Great group, you guys.
And
uh, uh, uh, uh,
wow, there's some heavy
stuff going on here. As always,
Michael Bay is a shithead.
Woo!
Uh, heroin, of course, is a
shithead. And any comic book universe, other than Marvel, is a shithead and any comic book universe
other than Marvel
is a shithead