Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood, Aaron Kleiber, and Vince Faust Guest
Episode Date: August 4, 2013Live from The Improv in Pittsburgh, PA, Doug welcomes comedians Graham Elwood and Aaron Kleiber and DLM fan Vince Faust to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Califor...nia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody!
My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug and I love movies!
Best audience yet!
Woo!
First time everybody's actually done that in unison.
Pretty excited about that.
Unison.
Pretty excited about that.
And I am here for the first time at the beautiful improv in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
Yeah.
You know where you live.
It's Sunday, August 4th, 2 Oceans 13 at 420.
Let me see your name tags, Pittsburgh.
Holy crap.
This is a delightful array of...
I've seen this one before.
I've actually signed it.
Captain Ron Part 2, Grandma's Cock.
Starring Doug Benson and Jeff Garlin.
There's a Pee Wee Herman doll.
This has Jess on it.
Josh Alone the
game. You have the board
game and it's your face making the Home Alone
face and then I'm on there and is that
TJ Miller?
Nice.
We got a Garth and Wayne picture
but it's
Garth and Gumber
Batch Pumber Dick.
Gumber Snatch Pumberdick.
Gumbersnatch Pimpleloaf.
Whatever his name is.
Oh, there's a Muppet over there that's waving at me and something fell out of its mouth when he opened his mouth.
That was crazy.
I don't understand this shirt.
Why does this shirt say, Rape Big Like Ben?
Oh, Lord.
Brad and Andrea are here with their Mr. and Mrs. Smith poster that they bring every time.
I saw that one yesterday, the green man thing.
I'm great at describing name tags.
Well, this is amazing.
I saw a tweet from one of the
young ladies that works in the box office here
today saying, it's crazy all
the shit people bring to Doug Benson shows.
And I
have to agree with her.
Thanks for bringing those.
And you know when to whip them out later.
Since last I spoke
and you listened, I attended the delightful
Traverse City, Michigan
Film Festival. Yeah, a festival that lives up to its slogan, only great movies. Michael Moore
really knows how to pick the films to show at his festival. And on Thursday, I participated in a panel in the park that was about comedy.
And part of it was like, you know, there was like a Q&A portion.
And a 17-year-old asked me if the 1967 Erectile Dysfunction movie
in at Amber Pierce's failure to launch category from Leonard Maltin the night before.
He asked me, he goes,
was that movie, like people nerd out on me
all the time, want to know what the movie was
that didn't get picked, the year that it didn't get picked
because they think they know it, but a 17
year old knew that that was
Bonnie and Clyde.
Yeah, I think we have a
little, little Wolverine on our hands.
I forgot his first name, but his last name was Pasternak,
and I think he might be on the show someday,
because that was pretty impressive.
Next Tuesday and Wednesday,
I'm going to be at the Improv in Tempe, Arizona,
and on August 17th and 18th,
I will be
interrupting movies at the Alamo Drafthouse
in Kansas City, Missouri.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
At
Taintsalot,
Sir
Taintsalot, if you're nasty,
tweeted, taints a lot, if you're nasty.
Tweeted, and
this hoop
was featured in He Got Game.
And that was in quotes,
and then it said, a quote from
Specific Rim.
This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
Let's look in the...
Let's check out the prize bags.
We got some good stuff.
We got two bags full of stuff,
so somebody's going home with a lot of interesting items.
I've got, fresh from the Traverse City Film Festival,
a lovely little glass that says Traverse City Film Festival on it.
Last night I was watching
the UFC fights over at
thank you very much
over at
Dave and Buster's
and a Bud Light girl came around and said
do you want some beads? And I was like hell yeah
I want some beads.
I want some Bud Light beads.
They'd be a great sponsor for this show.
We've got the rule card for the later Malton game.
I'm going to put that in this pocket for a second
because we might have to read that later.
A gentleman out there on the road gave me a T-shirt
that is advertising for his Appalachian Trail podcast.
So there's that.
More beads.
I wasn't there alone.
A $10 iTunes gift card,
so you can buy whatever you want with it,
but I recommend bonus episodes of Doug Loves Movies
a copy of my album Gateway Doug
and this is a really cool
from Comic Con this is a big
heavy comic book
called
Invincible
the Ultimate Collection
and of course Robert Kirkman
is one of the
geniuses behind that.
And those are all in a bag that was given to me by a dude who was dressed up like Heath Ledger's The Joker in Minneapolis.
So just keep in mind, if you want to contribute to the prize bag, I love it, but I'll probably not give you the credit you deserve.
I love it, but I'll probably not give you the credit you deserve.
Because I can't remember this stuff when you give it to me while I'm smoking in the alley outside after the show.
And there's a few more items in the other prize bag that we will discuss momentarily.
But first, I would like to bring out the first of three guests, because he has an interesting story.
Please help me in welcoming a gentleman who goes by the name Vince Faust, everybody.
Vince Faust.
Vince Faust, please come to the stage.
There he is.
He's got a Ghostbusters shirt on,
and he's got his own name tag that he brought.
But you can just put that against the back wall there.
Oh, you got your beer. That's great.
And just grab a microphone. Do you want to sit next to me?
No? Okay.
I understand the seating can be strategic on this show.
So you'll sit there in the middle? Okay.
That's cool.
Say hi to everybody, Vince.
How you doing?
Hi.
Vince contacted me on Twitter, said that he was coming to the show with his pregnant girlfriend,
and was real excited about it.
And why don't you take it from there, Vince?
All right.
Where is she sitting? I don't know. I can there, Vince? All right. Where is she sitting?
I don't know.
I can't see.
Back there somewhere.
Wow, she's clapping vigorously for a pregnant woman.
Don't go into labor during this.
Or do go into labor.
That would be actually pretty cool.
First baby born on this show.
People have brought babies as name tags and it's always a delight.
Go ahead,
Vince. I'm sorry.
So, Alicia, if you haven't
figured it out by
now,
you're having my baby.
So,
just, I wanted to
do this here. Will you marry me?
I think that microphone feedback is a yes.
Is that a yes?
Yeah, I would like my beer, yes.
Is that a yes?
Yes.
So romantic.
So romantic.
Yeah, I'm glad she brought you your beer
because I thought she was just walking around
with a beer that she was drinking.
That'd be crazy.
And, you know, as you guys can probably imagine, you know,
I don't know what's filming in Pittsburgh right now,
but, like, getting, you know, awesome guests for the show is something I always try to do,
and I think I always do a pretty good job with it.
But every once in a while, a seat needs to be filled, and a
gentleman like Vince comes along,
and it's
a perfect opportunity to have
a, you know,
kind of a
personal human interest story,
and a
wild card guest
who might be shitty,
but at least he's doing the right thing in marrying his pregnant girlfriend. And a wild card guest who might be shitty.
But at least he's doing the right thing in marrying his pregnant girlfriend.
And I think his mic needs to maybe be a little hotter
or maybe that's why mine's sounding kind of...
Yeah, now he's got nothing.
It's like the sound booth decided you're not a good guest.
So they shut you down.
So hopefully this can be worked out,
like just a future tip,
like you could have four people come up
and talk into the microphones.
I don't show up for sound check.
Hey, hey.
Obviously.
What do you think?
You think this is going to get worse when I bring out two more people?
Let's get them out here.
Two very funny guys.
One you already know and love and one you're
soon going to love. Please welcome
Aaron Kleiber and Graham Elwood.
Hey, fellas.
What?
I'll make this goddamn mic work.
No, yes.
So Vince's mic really doesn't work?
It's still... He tried.
He's still got a dead microphone, so...
He tried giving me it.
He tried to move.
If there's anything that can be done
by someone that works here
in the sound department,
try it again, Vince.
If you fix it, I will propose.
You know what? Me too.
Everyone's getting married tonight, all right?
Anybody eight months pregnant, let's do it. Let's go.
Where are the single ladies at?
All right, where are the people that are being murdered at?
Because that's what that sounded like.
I saw one lady go, whoo!
And then the guy sitting next to her
put his hands like,
what the fuck?
Single?
All of a sudden,
well, maybe I'll get
a baby thrown in me.
So I'm going to be
single tonight.
So that's Graham Elwood,
everybody.
Hello.
And did you bring this, Graham?
Yeah, I went to the Pirates game Friday night,
and they were giving these away, so...
Nice Pirates shirt that says
Central Blood Bank on the back.
Did you donate blood and then give your free shit?
No, they were just giving away free shirts.
Oh, that's a thing.
All right, free shirt Friday.
Hi.
I walked into the Gap the other day and yelled that
and I didn't get shit.
It's getting escorted.
You were escorted somewhere.
Yeah, they were like, try Abercrombie and Fitch.
Which, of course, in this mall has closed.
People in these parts don't take well to shirtless men
standing in the entryway of an establishment.
So what do you think?
You think my microphone's going to be all echoey and crazy weird
and horrible for people to listen to for the whole 90 minutes?
Or you think it's something we can adjust somehow?
Because I don't know what to do on my end.
I have to talk into it.
Can't really move farther away from the other guests
than I already am.
Let's mine the Leonard Moulton game.
Do a charades version of it.
This is probably the most people at once
this comedy club's ever had on the stage.
You know, most they probably have, like,
the Sklar brothers.
That would just be two people.
Graham and I both had microphones yesterday,
and this wasn't happening.
I don't know, dude.
See what marriage does?
Just kidding.
I've been divorced.
That's not about you.
Does Vince have any volume on his yet?
Nope.
That one doesn't work at all.
I'm not kidding around when I say this situation needs to be fixed.
This show has to keep going, and someone else has to fix the microphones.
Nope.
Still not working.
This one's working.
Mine is working.
That's Aaron Kleiber, everybody.
Local comedy phenom.
Right?
Ooh, that usually goes with hockey players.
I'll take it.
Yeah.
And you were in Madison, Wisconsin
at Comedy on State yesterday.
Yesterday? Last night.
Last night. Yeah, and that's about a
nine hour drive that you made after the
show. So thank you
for doing that. Yeah.
That's that kind of blue collar Pittsburgh
commitment, right? Yeah.
It's like, I'll be home in four hours.
Let's do this.
Graham also brought a Palm Strike t-shirt that will be,
more of these will be available for purchase after the show in the lobby area.
We'll be in the lobby.
I got my CD.
I ran out of, last night you guys sold out all my comedy film nerd guide to movies,
but, you know, those are available online.
Fantastic.
And Aaron brought a copy of his live DVD called Grown Man Business.
Yeah.
And Vince went above and beyond, you guys, because he's obviously thrilled to be here,
but so much so that he might not speak for the entire episode.
That's what we might have to do is you guys might have to share with him.
We'll see, though.
There's people working on it.
I think they also gave these out at the pirate game.
These were not given out at the pirate game.
Because Vince brought a Clubber Lang figure from Rocky III.
Free figurine Friday!
And Jason from Jason X.
The one that doesn't count.
I love that you said that's the one Jason movie that doesn't count.
How many have they made now?
11 or 12 or something?
14?
I don't count any of them, personally.
No, there's some that...
He's got a cool look, the hockey mask thing,
and he's got a cool...
It's made of metal!
He's got a cool song.
That's his song? That's his theme song. That's his song.
That's his theme song.
James Bond has...
And he has...
Still nothing for Vince.
She's going to maybe flip a switch and get it cooking.
Okay. She's on her way to flip the switch.
Maybe it's that channel. I don't know.
But anyway, thank you guys for bringing all these great
prizes. It's going to be a good. It's going to be a good win for somebody.
Chris Mancini is calling me.
Oh, he's on the phone?
Chris Mancini from Comedy Film Nerds?
Yes, Chris Mancini from Comedy Film Nerds.
You are live for the Doug Loves Movie taping at the Pittsburgh Improv.
Another technical issue.
Looks like Encino, man, right now.
Is he saying something?
Hold on. Somebody show Graham how a phone works.
Say it again. Try again.
Apple support is in the audience.
All Chris said was 7th Seal, Ingmar Bergman.
That's all he said.
He's just throwing in answers.
You're right, Chris.
You're the big winner.
Congratulations.
You have to marry somebody.
Hey, dude, I'm going to call you later.
Yeah, call him later.
That's a good idea.
Let's add more shit people listening can't hear to the mix.
You know, when I travel to a new town and I don't have an implement to smoke out of,
I have to call Apple support.
I don't get it.
Did it. Nailed it.
Graham, have you been to the movies lately, buddy?
Oh, yes, I have.
So it was fun.
Thanks for asking.
No, I went to see Fruitvale Station.
Fruitvale Station.
That was a great movie.
That was a great movie.
If you have not seen that, check that out.
It's, try it.
Talk into it.
Still nothing.
No.
I don't know which is better, though,
having nothing or having that constant weird feedback.
I don't know which one I enjoy more.
And your microphone's considerably less hot than mine, Graham.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got a sexier microphone.
You have the hosty microphone.
Yeah.
But Fruitvale Station is an incredibly moving and, I think, important movie.
And it's very well done.
What did you see at the film festival when we were in Traverse City?
You saw some movies there?
Oh, man, I saw A Band Called Death, which is an amazing documentary.
That's a great documentary.
Yeah, if you haven't, it's about this all-black punk band in the early 70s out of Detroit
and what they went through and then how they came back, sort of.
And it's a great documentary, and it's just a cool story.
So I would recommend those two movies right there.
And they're metal, though, right?
Yeah.
They're like a punk metal band, but they start out, yeah, it's good.
You didn't see it!
Alright, they're jazz. They're a jazz
trio.
They...
It's an excellent film. I actually...
Yeah. I posted a
trailer of it on the
Comedy Film Nerd Facebook page, so check that out.
If you haven't. They're good films.
Nice. And then, you know,
for everybody listening, when you're in,
when I went to the Pirates game Friday night, it was so
nice being next to the
Take control, stadium.
Take control
of your city.
Pittsburgh.
Oh, say
can you see
What a lovely, lovely voice.
Oh, that child is,
that's a beautiful,
about to be dead singing voice.
I can't wait to murder your throat.
Yeah, being here now,
that's why I'm wearing
a Batman jersey that I bought at Comic-Con.
Hi.
Yeah, it totally looks like you're on Team Batman.
I am.
On the back it says, number one, Batman.
That's what the bucket says.
Justice League versus the Harlem Globetrotters.
Yeah, we're like the team that the Globetrotters always beat.
And Aaron, have you had a chance to catch any movies lately?
It doesn't have to be in the theater, necessarily.
Why are you laughing, Graham?
Because our guest, Vince, right?
Without the microphone, he's just sitting there calmly. We're talking.
And he just pulled the microphone up to his mouth and went.
And nothing.
Nothing happened.
That's what you have to do when your microphone's too high.
You have to blow on it.
That's how you charge it up.
Charge it up.
It's like a breathalyzer.
You just.
Nope.
Keep trying.
Keep blowing.
We'll be back with more of Tech Problems,
the podcast.
Should we just start reviewing microphones now? Is that a Behringer?
I think we're going to have to probably share microphones
because we would like to hear from Vince.
But first, Aaron, answer my question.
I watched an old movie.
You said not theaters. I just watched Jurassic Park
again.
People love it. They love hanging onto their
butts.
Or holding onto their butts.
I forget which it is. You know, that's fun.
And I saw the new stuff, you know,
Pacific Rim and The Conjuring.
James Wan is the shit.
You like that guy?
Yes, I do.
He's doing, is his next one Insidious 2?
Is that him?
Yeah, then it's Fast and the Furious Part 7.
Yes.
Couple, yeah.
Why do you say it like that?
I don't know.
I like when dudes go get money.
I'm fine with that.
That's exciting. I'm like, get that house, son. Why do you say it like that? I don't know. I like when dudes go get money. I'm fine with that. That's exciting.
I'm like, get that house, son.
I'm excited about it.
I haven't seen Fast 6 yet, but I've gotten a few in my time.
You know, it was fun.
It was fun.
It was fun.
But do innocent people get killed like they do in Part 5?
No.
Because in Part 5, they're just smashing you know, just smashing shit left and right.
They did drive a tank over about 70 cars on the highway.
Yeah, some people were probably in those cars.
Oh, yeah.
Babies, grandmas.
It was bad.
But maybe they shouldn't have their cars on a tank street.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Maybe if they would have saw the military escort and got out of the way, your fault.
Yeah.
All right. Somebody pass your of the way. Your fault. Yeah.
Alright, somebody pass your microphone to Vince.
Alright.
It's your voice!
It's your voice. It's not possible to amplify
your voice.
It's like that YouTube video of the deaf person that finally
got to hear their voice because of the new technology.
It's that amazing.
What have you seen
lately, Vince? What did I watch?
I just watched
VHS2. Oh, his mic's out again. Thanks anyway, Vince.
Really appreciate it.
No, VHS2 I watched last night.
Wait a minute.
I'm sorry. Who back there went
yeah!
VHS2?
Okay.
That guy might just be excited for old video formats.
He's cheering for obsolescence.
CB radios, yeah!
10-4 is right, good buddy.
It wasn't that good.
It didn't warrant it.
It's an anthology, though, so some are better than others?
I thought the last one was the best one.
The aliens, you know.
Okay.
Spoiler.
That sounds great, by the way.
The one with the aliens, the VHS2 with the aliens.
Yeah, it's all different, like horror tales.
Yeah, yeah.
And you like the alien one the best.
All right, pass the mic.
Okay.
Get the mic back in the hands of a comedian.
It's good. You did good, buddy.
You did good.
You're doing great.
Alright.
I'll try. I'll try.
You're doing good. There is no try.
There is only do.
Bane does Yoda.
Bane does Yoda.
Yeah, Bane does Yoda.
That was a good joke, but I didn't do it.
Keep talking into the broken mic, Chris.
This is like we're doing a ventriloquist act,
and I don't know how to move the dummy's mouth.
Okay.
I've got a question for Graham Elwood.
It's broken.
You know what?
That mic's probably never going to work, so why don't you put it down so you don't keep talking into it.
Just put it in the prize bag.
Here, just put it.
We'll put everything in there.
Question for Graham Elwood.
Yes.
The Wolverine, 3D or not 3D?
You don't need the 3D.
That is the question.
It's a really fun film.
It's great.
It's ten times better than that other Wolverine piece of shit
that came out a couple years back. So it's a really good movie. It's great. It's ten times better than that other Wolverine piece of shit that came out a couple years back.
So it's a really good movie.
You don't need 3D.
Yeah.
What was the last movie you saw where you thought the 3D was enhanced or you should see it in 3D?
House of Wax.
So we're going to go back to the 60s
That's a Vincent Price movie
And it was wonderful in 3D
When he's doing the paddle board thing
And the balls coming right at your face the whole time
It was awesome
Oh you like that? Balls in your face?
Yeah
Still got it
We were talking about Friday the 13th earlier They do the...
We were talking about Friday the 13th earlier
in the 3D Friday the 13th.
They do a lot of paddle ball.
They did paddle ball.
It's great. Yeah, yeah.
Let's see what I want to do next here.
Let's do a new segment
that we just tried for the first time
in
Atlanta GA a week or two ago.
And this is
something that I like to call
Love Like Hate
Hate Like.
And this is where
we are going to take a filmmaker
or a performer and we're going to take all the films they've ever done
and I'm going to ask each of you to name a movie
that fits into each of those categories.
Ones that you love that this person's involved with.
The movie that you love the most.
The one you like. It's okay.
The one you hate the most.
And the one that you like that you's okay. The one you hate the most and the one that you like
that you hate yourself for
liking.
We're going to start with love
and we'll start with Aaron and the
subject, since Lone Ranger
just took a big steamy
steamer.
Yeah, that was shit.
You saw that? Oh, yeah. it's rough right yeah like it was it was it was like
great action for 45 seconds and then them mumbling in the desert for 45 minutes
and then there was indian murders and then there was desert. That's about it. There it is. Boom.
It's like if you took the desert scene
from Ishtar and made that into a two
hour and twenty minute movie.
Take all the boring moments from
Dune and then add an Indian.
Boom.
Just saying. I would like to see an Indian
talking into that giant vagina monster
in the glass.
In the vagina aquarium.
Vagina aquarium?
Of the Pacific.
It's in, yeah, in Dune.
Remember that movie, Dune?
Yes.
I just said.
Do you remember that movie, Maudib?
Fuck it.
I just told somebody in Pacific Rim that it looks like the monsters are coming out of volcanic vagina underwater.
Do you see that thing?
I haven't seen it yet, because here in this mall town...
Boiler alert.
It's only playing in 3D and IMAX.
I saw it in both.
That's a bit much.
IMAX might be okay, but 3D, no.
It was fun. It was fun 3D, no. It was fun.
Yeah?
It was fun 3D, yeah.
Really?
I thought it was, it's so dark, and then 3D makes it even darker.
All the fight scenes were like at night.
It was all right in 3D, and I don't like 3D.
All right.
All right.
So there's someone that's on board with Pacific Rim 3D, you guys.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Okay, Aaron.
Vince keeps mumbling into his broken microphone
like a homeless guy.
I saw.
Hey, guys.
I saw Pacific Rim.
You might as well talk into your beer bottle.
Yeah.
But put the microphone down.
Yeah, you're done.
Set that down, sir.
Oh, man, noise when he dropped it.
When he dropped it.
Hello?
I think Vince just doesn't know how to talk into a microphone.
Is this working?
No.
It's not working.
It's working.
A little bit.
Turn the volume up on this microphone only.
Oh, that's going to be...
Now my microphone
is louder.
Who's the man
behind the curtain?
Take control,
sound booth.
Take control of your microphone.
Yeah!
Yes!
Yes!
Alright, let's start the show!
Oh, wait!
No, I prefer yours to be out.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, how did you...
All right, Aaron.
What Johnny Depp movie of all the movies he's been in,
which one do you love the most?
This is a good... I know you might... Johnny De one do you love the most? This is a good...
Johnny Depp that I love the most.
Oh.
You can pass on one of the four categories,
but the other three you have to answer.
There's people in the audience.
Good call. Thank you. Thank you for your help.
Donnie Brasco. I love Donnie Brasco.
Donnie Brasco. Good choice.
Thank you, sir. I do. I do. Thank you. You know what I say about Donnie Brasco? I love Donnie Brasco. Donnie Brasco. I love Donnie Brasco. Good choice. Thank you, sir. Yeah. I do.
I do.
Thank you.
You know what I say about Donnie Brasco?
Don't forget about it.
Vince, what's one that you love?
I'm going to have to say I probably loved Dead Man.
Dead Man.
Whoa.
That's interesting.
That was like Johnny Depp played essentially the same role from Lone Ranger.
Yeah. But in a little indie with no special effects.
Right.
And that worked for you.
It was better, yes.
That's an interesting choice by an interesting person.
Who's the comedy film nerd now?
You should name your baby Deadman.
You should name your baby Deadman.
What's wrong with you?
There is a lady with a child in her body, Doug.
That would just be a fun name for a baby.
Come here, Deadman.
You want to go to the park?
Kind of badass, actually, now that I think about it.
Yeah.
Baby is middle name.
It would bring new meaning to the expression, put the baby down.
Middle name dead man.
His baby would instantly be a sheriff of a town.
Graham, what's your favorite Johnny Depp film?
I would say What's Eating Gilbert Grape.
I'll tell you what's eating him.
His entire family is irritating.
And he works at Fast Food with John C. Reilly.
So it's a whole bad scene there for Gilbert.
Yeah, it is a bad scene.
Is their last name really Grape in the movie?
Yeah.
Weird.
Has anybody here ever known somebody with the last name Grape?
Or any fruit?
And I'd like to meet his buddy, Johnny Banana.
There's Daryl Strawberry.
Yeah.
Whoa.
This guy.
Microphone fix just in time.
What did we miss when he wasn't talking? What gold did we miss?
I know.
It's like Thor's hammer.
Like when his mic lights up,
that's when Vince fucking ba-boom.
He's pulling out indie flicks,
he's laying down jokes,
this guy ba-boom.
My Johnny Depp movie that I love
is called Ed Wood.
Yeah, that's...
I kind of wish his collaboration
with Tim Burton stopped there.
Because I've had to sit through
some things.
But we'll get to that in a second.
Which Johnny Depp movie do you like, Aaron?
Ed Wood, actually.
Okay, you can cheat
and pick my choice.
No, I don't like many Johnny Depp movies,
so that's hard.
Those Donnie Brasco and Ed Wood are the No, no, but it's what, no, I don't like many Johnny Depp movies, so that's hard, so that's,
those, Donnie Brasco and Ed Wood are the ones that I, you know,
like when I watch Donnie Brasco, I'm like, I like
this better than Ed Wood, and then I watch Ed Wood and I'm like,
I like this better than Donnie Brasco, and then
I see Sleepy Hollow and I'm like, well, let's
wait for the next question.
Wow, you're constantly assessing while you
watch movies.
You didn't even know you were going to be on this show until last night.
Vince, which one do you like?
I don't know if it counts.
Oh, interesting.
Are you going to say...
I'm going to go with Jump Street.
Yeah, it counts.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Yeah, I almost picked it, but I thought, well, he's barely in it,
but boy, his part in it is good, and it's a good movie.
All right, well done.
I would go Little Eddie Scissorhands.
It's what I do, Vince.
When was the last time you watched that movie?
It's probably been a while.
It's probably been at least five to ten years.
I've been meaning to go back and check that out again. I have fond memories of it, but
I think if I watched it again, I'd be like,
hmm.
It's very sad. It's sad, but it's also
just so much about set design
and costumes and acting
weird.
And wanting to
make out with Winona Ryder.
She was good.
So innocent. Yeah, that was before she was good. So innocent.
Yeah, that was before she went on her crime
spree.
I chose for my like
Sweeney Todd, Demon Barber of Fleet
Street.
Yeah. I think he did
a good, he committed to it and sang
songs and killed people
and then whenever he'd kill somebody in the
barber's chair, there was a little trap door that they would fall through.
And that's my favorite Tim Burton scenes of all time
was whenever a body would fall through that thing
because even though they were already dead,
they would hit the ground underneath the basement so violently
that it was hilarious to me every time.
And it was always like, and now back to the music.
Next one is hate.
Which Johnny Depp film do you hate?
I hate, well, since I already said,
I hate Pirates of the Caribbean 2.
Yeah.
And 3 and 4 and the upcoming number 5.
Yeah.
I don't know why they keep making them.
Haven't they noticed that they suck?
Yeah.
I stopped watching it.
Just because they're making a lot of money doesn't mean there's no reason to keep doing it.
Yeah.
What is Graham laughing about down there? I'm just tweeting a photo of the panel.
Oh, okay.
Vince, what do you think?
Uh, the Libertine.
This guy?
The Libertine?
That was it, right? The Libertine?
Yeah.
Wow. I don't know.
A girl was watching it the other night. I couldn't get into it.
It was just a little...
All right.
There was just people sitting around watching Libertine?
Who do you hang out with?
That's another good name for your baby.
That chick from...
The minority reporter.
No, who do you hang out with?
I don't know something about her.
What?
Nothing.
All right.
Just spitballing.
Graham? So just a Johnny Depp movie that I hate.
Well, I mean, obviously,
The Lone Ranger is very
hateable.
But at least he's playing an awful racist
Indian character
that he justifies in bullshit interviews
as he's 158th Cherokee
or whatever the fuck.
That's like me saying, oh, way back when, my great-great-great-grandfather was half
Asian, so hong kong, chong kong, kong.
It's fucking ridiculous what he's doing.
I think when they send a stack of scripts to Johnny Depp, he goes, could you just narrow
it down to the ones where I'll have heavy eye makeup?
Yeah, there's a 40 minute whole chunk of that movie
where there's all these
werewolves and shit
that they cut out.
That shows you how
fucking dumb that movie
from the get-go was.
Like, he came on board
and made it dumber.
So I hate him.
And his eye acting
is stupid.
Yes.
He's got dumb eyes.
Do you see his eye acting?
I've never seen an Indian roll his eyes so damn much.
Because that's how they talked back then.
Just with 13-year-old smarm.
Yeah, snark, and they'd go,
hmm, you, not so much.
Oh, really? That's what they talked?
They didn't say OMG back in the fucking 1860s?
Yeah, at one point he's like,
what's up?
Oh, chief, who let them dogs out?
Well, they were being chased by dogs, so it's a good question.
It's a very valid hashtag, Todd Glass.
For my hate, I went with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Should not have been remade, but while you're remaking it,
don't make Willy Wonka into a Michael Jackson type.
That's the one thing Willy Wonka shouldn't be,
is someone that shouldn't be around children.
Even though Gene Wilder does yell at them
and scare them in the first movie.
But it's all out of love, as it turns out.
Spoiler alert.
What about your
I hate yourself for liking it.
Do you have one of those for Johnny Depp, Aaron?
Man.
I'm running through a ton of them.
I don't really
I'm terrible. I leave.
This was a tough one for me too.
Because they're either
enjoyable or I'm like
I hate them. You can pass. Yeah, I'll pass. I don't, because they're either like enjoyable or I'm like ah, you know, like I hate them.
You can pass. Yeah, I'll pass.
I don't know.
What?
The ninth gate? I do not
like that. I think I just, yeah.
I think I flat out don't like
the ninth gate. Nope.
Oh, I got it.
Oh, you already passed.
I don't care. Vince.
Okay, sorry.
Go ahead.
What is it?
I like that window movie.
What was that?
I did.
I saw it in the dollar movie.
I was like, why do I like this?
What was that?
What was it?
Secret window.
Secret window.
Yeah, it's called a wall. Flowers in the attic. Secret window. Secret window. Yeah, it's called a wall.
Flowers in the attic.
Secret window.
I don't even think I've seen secret window.
All right, but that's good.
He hates himself for liking it.
Don't give him a hard time.
I already hate myself.
Slow down.
Do you have one of those, Vince?
I bet it's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
No, it's not Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Okay, what is it?
It's Private Resort.
Oh, Private Resort.
That's going way back, right?
That was like his first movie, maybe.
No, I thought Nightmare on Elm Street.
Oh, Nightmare on Elm Street, of course.
Graham?
I would have to say Pirates of the Caribbean 2
you still liked it at that point
you know at that point I was still
hung over from the raging
fun of the first one
that I was like no man
you know like when you
you're in a shitty
relationship that it started out great and it's gotten really bad and all your friends
are going, dude, she's fucking nuts.
And you're like, no, remember that time when she was awesome?
Yeah, that was a year and a half ago.
But she has nice boobs.
So, I mean, come on, guys, right?
No, the thing she did for my birthday.
That was two birthdays ago.
This one, she was blowing a guy.
So, let's...
a guy.
I had to go with the first Pirates of the
Caribbean for this category because
I loved it at the time and now they've
run it into the ground and I can't even go back and enjoy
it. It's just ruined.
Yeah.
Yeah, and that concludes
Love Like Hate, Hate Like
Baby Name?
Hate would be a great baby name.
Come here, hate.
Tattoo it on both of its knuckles.
Yeah, both hands.
Hate and hate.
Hate-like.
All right, now is the time of the game where we actually...
Part of the show, actually.
It's the part of the game show.
Are you doing one of Johnny Depp's drunky characters?
Hello, love.
Welcome back to the Benny and June show.
This is the part where I say...
Let the games begin.
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Don't get ahead of me, Graham.
That might be one of the quotes coming up. Okay, sorry.
But gentlemen, pick your name tags.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
And we're back.
Okay, Aaron, look at me, Aaron.
Show me your name tag.
Who are you playing for?
Josh.
That's Josh from Big.
And who are you playing for, Vince?
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
So I used to not have one.
Jess.
Jess.
And finally, this is... Whoa.
I think you can smoke out of that.
That is crazy.
I am playing for Amanda, who made this amazing diorama.
Diorama. That has Edward Scissorhands
in it, that has
Spider-Man,
that has
Spock,
Mr. Spock, not Doctor.
Doctor did the baby book. You're gonna need that,
Vince!
A Leonard Maltin angel,
and then hippie beads, and a fucking they're like in a disco lounge, like a hippie disco lounge.
This is amazing.
And there's a rotating light.
Like this is, Pittsburgh, you guys really did a good job with the name tags.
All of you, nice work.
All right.
Sending out that vine of all those awesome name tags.
I mean, when I say all those awesome name tags, I mean grams and then there's two others.
Josh, I love you. Don't worry. We're going to do this.
Oh, does Pee Wee make noises?
You got to pull the string.
All right.
Maybe Pee-Wee's microphone isn't working.
Yeah.
And we just conjured a demon.
Great.
Oh, I forgot about...
I almost said Beetlejuice.
Like, I forgot that it wasn't Tim Burton movies.
It was Johnny Depp movies. But I almost said I forgot about Beetlejuice like I forgot that it wasn't Tim Burton movies it was Johnny Depp movies
but I almost said I forgot
about Beetlejuice
he could have played the Alec Baldwin role
but I'm glad Michael Keaton played Beetlejuice
yeah
he should
Tim Burton should work with Michael Keaton again
that's what he should do
step away from Johnny Depp for a second
but we're gonna play the Bane game.
Oh, shit.
I will say a quote from a movie, maybe a very well-known quote,
maybe a more obscure one, but I'll do it in the Bane voice, my Bane voice.
And then if you think you know it, as soon as you know it,
yell out your own name, and then I will call on you for an answer,
and if you get it wrong, then the other guys will have a chance to get it.
Yeah, say Aaron.
Okay.
Yeah.
Commissioner Gordon.
First person to make a noise.
It doesn't really matter.
Hate like.
What you say.
All right.
And here is the first one.
Are you talking to me?
Aaron.
What was that noise you made?
I just went, ho!
Like that.
He just auctioned off something.
Yeah.
Okay, Graham.
That's Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver.
That's correct.
TMI, but yes.
You just need to name the movie.
You don't need to say.
Screenplay by.
Directed by Martin Scorsese.
Yeah.
The screenwriter of Taxi Driver, Paul Schrader,
was booked to be on Douglas'ies next Tuesday in L.A.,
but he had emergency knee surgery, so he won't be able to make it.
But we will reschedule, because that's an awesome booking.
Yeah.
All right, here's the next one.
Graham has one point.
It's first person to two, so you've got to be on it, guys.
What are you doing
with Howard Bannister's rocks?
Oh, I know that.
I'll say it again.
All right, Vince.
What is it, Vince?
It's not the Frighteners, is it?
No.
Turns out you're invincible.
John Benson, ladies and gentlemen.
Tip your waitstaff.
No, that's not the Frighteners.
Not the Frighteners.
Not the Frighteners.
But, you know, just the fact that you jumped in and guessed, I'm proud of you.
You're going to be a good papa.
What's his name?
Any idea, you guys?
What are you doing with Howard Bannister's
rocks?
Harry and the Hendersons.
Some guy in the audience
yelled out his name.
We got a call on him.
What do you think it is, dude?
He doesn't know?
I remember they call him Mr. Bannister.
Howard Bannister, yeah.
It's a movie that I love,
and I knew it would be a tough one.
It's called What's Up, Doc?
Madeline Kahn says that to the tough guys
who have Howard Bannister's bag of rocks.
What's up, Doc?
Who's Frank Bannister?
Frank Bannister?
Frank Bannister.
Wasn't that the Frighteners?
Frighteners, okay.
You're right.
His name was Bannister.
I bet those two characters are related.
All right, here we go. Next one.
Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.
Graham.
Yes, Graham.
How many yachts can you ski behind?
That's Wall Street.
Wall Street is correct from 1987.
And that means Graham won the Bane game.
I'm Leonard Maltin's reckoning.
We all know it doesn't count for anything, though.
You keep talking shit, bitch.
That's a little appetizer how much fucking your ass I'm going to paddle on this goddamn stage.
Graham, I'm not saying anything, Graham.
I'm not.
Yeah, that was Vince that said that.
Yeah, nope.
Good job.
Let's play How Much Does This Shit Make?
Let's play How Much Does This Shit Make?
Graham gets to go last because that's the power position in this game since he won the Bane game.
And then we will go to Vince just because, you know, you know why.
It's only because she's having a baby.
Yeah.
I mean, you've got to give the guy a break.
Yeah.
We'll start with you, Aaron.
And what you need to do is the person who can guess, without going over,
the domestic box office of the movie I'm about to name,
according to Box Office Mojo, in Millions.
You get to go first, Aaron.
The film is called
The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.
You even mentioned
the Globetrotters
earlier this evening.
How much do you think that
No offense, Pittsburgh,
shitty movie.
But, you know, I appreciate that there's any movie with the word Pittsburgh.
You said in millions.
I did.
So we've established it made more than a million.
I would say one million.
Can I say 100,000 million?
One million.
I mean, like, one dollar.
Do you want one dollar, 100,000 dollars, or a million dollars?
You can't just bid a bunch of different numbers.
This many.
I held up my fingers like a child
keep in mind that the one dollar bid
that's a smart move when you're last
and people you think have overbid
I don't know about game shows
but when you're first and you bid one dollar
the next guy could bid two dollars
and so you would only win
if it made between one and two dollars
okay start over And so you would only win if it made between one and two dollars.
Okay, start over.
I wish we could now that all the microphones are working.
So what you're saying is there's a chance.
How much do you want to bid?
I'll go with what he said. Four million.
Can I still say that?
Yeah, sure.
Four million.
Yeah.
Have you watched Price is Right?
When they say what people in the audience are yelling
at them to say,
it's always wrong.
So you're going with four million.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, four million says Aaron.
Vince, what do you think?
I have no idea what that movie is.
I've never seen that.
The Fish is Saved Pittsburgh starred...
You're...
I'm sorry, Pittsburgh.
Stockard Channing was the star of it.
She played a psychic, I believe,
that the fish is a reference to Pisces
and some sort of plot for the basketball team to win games.
You said what?
Four?
He said four million.
So you could say, you know.
4.2.
4.2 is very clever.
You said what I said
and put a two.
You're getting it now.
Graham. 4.2 said put a two. You're getting it now. Graham?
4.2
hundred thousand and one dollar.
I used to host game shows, motherfucker.
Alright.
Well, you guys did a good job of adjusting for inflation
and also adjusting for that it's crappy.
Because the Fish Save Pittsburgh made $8.2 million.
Ba-boom!
And Graham continues to dominate the action.
Hey, he has a movie book, okay?
Yeah, he does have a book about movies,
but you have a bit that you do where you recap movies.
Where can people check that out?
YouTube.
I'm just not as good as Graham now.
What's it called, your movie thing?
I do a thing called Watch It For You where I watch a movie
and then I explain it in five minutes ridiculously it's like the cliff notes for people that are too lazy to watch a movie yeah yeah it is
and but now i'm gonna start doing throwbacks so the next one that's coming out uh tomorrow
is jurassic park i will watch jurassic park and explain it in five minutes yeah finally yeah
i get i get so lost on a lot of the plot points in that movie.
I did do Fast and Furious 6, which is enjoyable.
There's a lot of car noises.
During Jurassic Park, I was just like, just give it more goats.
Right?
Seems a simple solution.
I wish they...
Seems to like eating goats.
They could have played, like, bigger, better.
Like, the animals just got bigger. It was like,
eat an elephant. Go ahead. Dare you.
Just keep putting... Yeah, what? You don't need
elephants? Shut up. Why didn't they just have a
full-blown zoo that the dinosaurs could just
pick off anything they want? Like, the raptors
are in the petting zoo.
That would have helped.
Because that movie did okay.
Yeah, it really
didn't need fixing.
But it needed to come out in 3D.
That was really great.
I love that process where they paint 3D on there.
They just splash it on there, and then suddenly it seems like it's in 3D.
Because they needed kids eating ice cream in 3D.
I wanted to hold it.
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Yeah!
All right.
Is this worth double points?
This is not worth double points.
This is for the win, though.
Whoever wins the Leonard Maltin game,
first person to two points,
is going to give all the prizes
to the person that they're playing for.
Wait, what are the rules?
Here, pass that down.
Yeah, put down your diorama.
Ladies and gentlemen, the rules to the Leonard Maltin game
are as follows.
The game is played in the style of Name That Tune,
replacing notes and song titles with actors and film titles.
After picking a category, players will read clues from Leonard Maltin's review, including the number of names listed by Leonard.
Players must bid how many names they need to name the movie.
Names are read from the bottom up with the lowest billed name first.
After each bid, the next player...
I'm going to put in another commercial during this part.
The next player may bid less names or challenge the bidder to, quote, name that movie, unquote.
If the challenged player correctly names the
movie, they
receive a point. Alright, they get the idea. Sit down.
And it's the smallest
possible font you could ever
find. Well, it's all
gotta fit on one little business card.
Oh, Jesus. Yeah, I got a lot more where that came
from.
Is everybody alright?
Is the baby coming?
In the
event a baby is born in the middle of the
Leonard Maltin game...
They say that laughter induces labor, so
you're probably good.
Okay.
It's a show, though.
Even if it is. He's like, hold it.
Hold that baby. Hold that baby.
Hold that baby.
Graham gets to go first.
And he gets to pick a category.
And we'll go, just for simplicity's sake,
we'll go to Vince second.
And Graham, your options are
Billy Bob Thornton is celebrating a birthday today.
So the films of Billy Bob.
He's got one fan.
Yeah! Woodcock!
At Pop Culture
suggested
Oh, Pop Culture Twit is their full name
suggested
Not Without My Daughter
and that's Woody Allen movies
that were made in 1992 or later.
And at Kyle
Conkwright, C-O-N-K-W-I-T-E
R-I-G-H-T, suggested Joe Mama.
And that's films with either Joe or Mama in the title.
So Joe or Mama, Woody Allen after 92, or Billy Bob Thornton.
Which one of those do you like, Graham?
Let's go... Let's go...
Joe Mama.
Would you like a movie with Joe or Mama in the title from 1987 or 1990?
1990.
All right.
Leonard says about this movie that it deserves two and a half stars.
I disagree. I give it more
he calls it pleasant
if pointless
and he also says
that
there's an actress
in the movie that's fun to watch
and he lists
11 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in,
Graham?
Negative one.
I don't even know what that means.
He's coming at you guys hard.
We go to Vince.
Vince.
I have no idea,
so I'm going to have to say
name that movie.
All right, so Graham
is going to walk away
with a point if he can
name the film
and the top billed performer.
Throw Mama from the Train,
Billy Crystal.
No, Danny DeVito?
Motherfucker.
Which one is it? Yeah! It's Danny DeVito Motherfucker Which one is it
It's Danny DeVito
The answer is
12 Angry Jurors
12 Angry Joers
No that
That film that you just cast
Is from 1987
And this movie is from 1990
it's called Joe vs. the Volcano
starring Tom Hanks
so Vince is on the board
good job buddy
players may bid negative names a bit of negative Good job, buddy.
Players may bid negative names.
A bid of negative... That was exciting.
Now we start with you, Aaron.
You get to pick a category.
You understand negative names, right?
Yeah, I get it.
Okay, good.
You were just having fun when you said...
I was being comedical.
Poor choice.
That's what you're here for.
Would you like
a couple of great categories
we've played in the past?
Golden Showers Playbook,
which is movies
that start with P.
And when I say that,
I don't mean
Shakespeare.
I don't mean clown.
I mean movies
that begin with the letter P. and when I say that I don't mean shakes the clown I mean movies that
begin with the letter P
or this isn't
the end and that's movies
that have a scene after all the
credits have rolled there's still yet
more action
or at C.J. Hansen
C.E.E.J. Hansen
H.A.N.S-E-N,
suggested Hook,
category Hook,
and that's movies with prostitution,
fishing, or both.
Which one of those categories
would you like to play, Aaron?
I will... Aaron Kle Aaron? I will...
Aaron Kleiber.
I will try Hook.
K-L-E-I-B-E-R.
You did spell it.
Would you like a movie that's got prostitution, fishing, or both from 1980, 1990, or 1992?
Let's go 1992.
Most recent, always a smart choice.
Two and a half stars from Leonard
about this movie from 1992.
He says
it's about a preacher
and
he also says
that the
end result is a bit sleepy
at times.
It's a bit sleepy.
And he lists 12 names.
Jeez.
It's got a prostitute or fishing or both.
Yes.
I'm pretty sure it does.
I don't have a research team, so it's all... I think I have a good idea.
It's all up here, just like how French Connection took place in Chicago.
I think I have a good idea, but I can't chance it.
Well, talk us through it. That's always smart.
I don't know.
Two names. I have two.
You're bidding. You only want two names. The bottom two names.
The bottom two?
Oh, that's right.
I don't know about game show stuff.
Can I want a dryer still?
You're not going to win anything today.
Well, then.
No, no.
I mean, he won't.
Standard accolades.
He won't get any prizes himself, is what I'm saying.
He could win on behalf of...
Players must bid.
How many names do we need to name the movie?
Names are read from the bottom up.
Oh, God, put that card away.
Your game show voice is distracting and sexual.
Take your pants off, Aaron.
See what I'm saying? I want to do it.
Hey, read the rules as Bane.
The game is played in the style of name that tool.
Now remember, this is a long card.
Oh, say can you see?
Replacing notes and song titles with actors and film titles.
Okay, now do you want to bid again?
Like, the smart opening bid is 12 names,
and that way you get to hear all the names if you get challenged.
Yeah, let's do all 15 names.
Okay, I'll make up three more names just for you.
Vince, what do you think?
Wait, what was the category again?
The category is prostitution or fishing or both.
And the year is 92.
And the opening bid from Aaron is 12 names.
Ten names.
Ten, okay. Graham? Seven. Opening bid from Aaron is 12 names. 10 names. 10.
Okay.
Graham?
Seven.
Graham said seven.
Sort of Bane-like.
Then we come back over to Aaron.
Yeah, it comes back at you.
Now you can go six.
You'll get to hear six names.
Or if you think seven is not You'll get to hear six names or if you think
seven's not enough
for Graham to discern the title, you can just
say seven. Name it. I'm going to go for broke,
Josh.
I'll do six.
He says six, Vince.
Follow my heart.
Alright, well, five.
Oh, Vince says five.
I have no idea what it is, but I'll try.
Oh, that's not a wise thing to say, but...
Hey, hey, hey, why not? Why not?
I would love to play...
I got a point.
I'd love to play poker with you.
You would.
None of these cards match, so all right, I'm all in.
Is that good?
That's pretty much me.
I will go four names.
Shit. Shit.
So, Aaron, you can go less.
You can say, name that movie, Graham.
Name that movie, Graham.
All right.
Would you like all the clues again, Graham?
Please.
All right.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
This movie's got a preacher in it And it's a bit sleepy
The end result is a bit sleepy at times
And the year is 1992
Is that right?
Yeah
Two and a half stars
And Leonard lists these names
How many did you get?
Four?
Yes
Your four names are
Robert Redford
Joseph Gordon-Levitt Susan Traylor four? Yes. Your four names are Robert Redford,
Joseph Gordon Levitt, Susan
Traylor, and
Nicole
Burdate? The great
Nicole Burdate.
I think that's how it's pronounced.
And the movie is called
it's got. And the movie is called...
It's got prostitution,
fishing,
or both.
You have three seconds.
Two.
The proposition.
One.
Someone will get really pissed off.
They're like, ah.
That was a weird answer.
That movie's like a couple years ago.
Right? No, the one with Demi Moore
where he, Woody Harrelson.
Oh yeah, The Proposition.
The Millionaire Proposition.
The Indecent Proposal.
You know, the one where,
you know, Tombstone.
You know what I'm talking about.
She's not a prostitute.
She's just taking advantage of one great offer.
That's a goddamn whore in my book.
That's how it starts, Doug.
And she's fishing for money.
Just this once.
Robert Redford being buried in the names is probably a really good clue
because he was the uncredited narrator of the film
and he also directed it and it's called
A River Runs Through It.
That's why all the girls
swoon because they all watch Brad Pitt
walk around without his shirt on.
And Aaron is also
on the board.
As soon as he said Robert Redford
and the Preacher,
I thought, well...
Yeah, Tom Skerritt plays the Preacher,
and Brad Pitt is one of his sons, I think.
And, yeah.
And there's a lot of boring fishing in it.
Yeah.
The cover is boring.
It's like an ad for Vermont.
It's an ad for Vermont.
It's like, come to Vermont.
Ah, don't.
Sorry, Vermont.
Graham gets to go.
Wait, no, Vince gets to go first.
Right.
Yeah, and then we'll move to Aaron because he challenged Graham.
So good luck, Graham.
You finally faced some worthy competitors.
Two years in a row you took down all the 12 guests of Christmas.
Yeah.
And we bring these two guys up here And look at you
Look what's happened to you
A lot of Len Mullen left, my friend
Look at your watch
I have not answered a single question
So, just saying
Sometimes this game's about strategy, my friend
He gets it
So Vince gets to pick the category
And then we go to Aaron
Vince, would you like
At Cool Bahamas
Suggested
You have my permission to diet
And that's movies where an actor
Loses or gains weight for a role
Or
Favorite category amongst
people that aren't very good at this game
in theaters now
and then
one of the tougher categories
asparagus pea
and that's where I read the entire
review
I don't leave out anything, and then it just becomes,
everyone should know the title,
and then it becomes a game of, you know,
negative names and how many cast names you can list.
So it's a tough one.
Which way do you want to go, Vince?
Let's go with the diet one.
Okay.
No.
You're really not good at playing to the crowd, are you, my friend?
Yeah, they're booing the guy.
He's got babies almost, too, and they're booing him.
I hope they don't treat you guys that way at the hospital.
He proposed on stage.
Where did you propose?
Uh-huh.
Parking lot of a Target.
Would you like a movie where an actor gained weight or lost weight for a role
from 2004 or 2009?
2004.
2004.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie
from 2004.
He says this is a Spanish
production.
He also says
that
that that He also says that...
Wow, this is tough to pick out.
Oh, he says it's beautifully designed and shot.
This movie that's of Spanish origin, three stars, 2004.
Someone gained or lost weight for the role, and
he lists eight names.
How many names can you get it in, Vince?
Eight names.
Yeah. And who knows
if you could even do that. Yeah.
But that is his
opening bit, Aaron. So where do you
go from there? I'll try seven.
He's going to try
seven?
I'll go with seven!
I drove through the night.
You drove
through the night? Yes!
He says
seven, Graham.
Uh...
I think that's what somebody in the audience just said.
Five.
Is that a diorama on your lap, or are you just happy to be here?
You should just go everywhere with that thing.
Oh, that's... The way you're stroking it is really making me uncomfortable.
I'm cool with it.
What was your bid, Graham?
Five.
Five, he says, Vince.
Name that movie.
Oh, shit.
Okay, Graham.
Your five names.
This is for a three-way tie if you get it right.
If you fail, Vince is our winner.
And who are you playing for, Vince?
Jess.
Jess.
Jess will win all the stuff.
You're not playing for your fiance?
She already won a baby.
That's a good point.
say? She already won a baby.
Oh, all right.
That's a good point.
That's what I'm going to say every time I make love to someone from now on. Boom, you just won
a baby.
Congratulations.
We'll go to the other room and play Plinko.
You have a new visitor to your baby cave.
It's a baby cave.
That's a great name for a baby, Plinko.
Plinko.
That is pretty good.
You might want to think about that.
Or Showcase Showdown.
Come on down, Showcase Showdown.
It's time for dinner.
No?
All right. Because my house is a little more fun. showcase showdown. It's time for dinner. No? Alright.
Because my house is a little more fun.
Here's your five names, Graham.
Ann Massey.
Reg E. Cathay.
He's great.
He was in The Wire.
Larry
Gillard.
Gillyard.
Gillyard.
Michael Ironside.
And John
Sheridan.
Sherian.
John Sherian.
Yeah, I don't know who that is.
But those are your five names.
Someone lost or gained weight for the role
2004.
What's it called, Graham?
The audience has faith in you.
I'd like to thank
Victoria on sound
for fixing all of our
issues. Give her a big round of applause.
She did it.
It's working. It's working.
2.0. Get out.
He's drunk.
Graham is
doing some interesting finger work
over there.
Trying to add something up.
I don't know why you
just didn't make Vince name it
I mean
Wait, who?
It would have been Aaron
Whoever was ahead of you
Because you don't seem like you have any idea
I kind of thought I did
Oh, okay
When he heard Spanish production His eyes lit up I kind of thought I did. Oh, okay.
When he heard Spanish production, his eyes lit up.
This is definitely going to be Pedro Almodovar.
I did a pretty good impression of Graham.
That was me?
A Hanna-Barbera character?
Oh, it's definitely Pedro Almodovar.
He's one of my favorites.
Dark Knight Rises is my favorite movie.
C, spot on.
Why don't you name a movie where someone famously lost or gained weight for the role?
See what happens.
In the 2004 area.
We've only got ten more minutes.
Somebody gained or lost a lot of weight.
All right, Aaron, name that movie.
Can you read that card again?
He wishes I was that stone.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I dropped the card. That's actually not how it works.
Who challenged him to name it?
I did forget that part.
Vince did.
Oh, I'm excited for Vince and Jess.
I was like, I'm either going to tie this game
or the guy that's getting married is going to win.
That's what I did.
Oh, that's nice.
You team up against Aaron like that.
Yeah, you did. You already won.
You're a winner because you're going to get married
and have a wonderful family. So how about a round of
applause for this? Let's move on.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Hey, and
Vince, is it okay from now on if I
refer to you as medium Wolverine?
Vince, is it okay from now on if I refer to you as medium Wolverine?
I knew that was coming at some point.
Schnick.
Sure.
Okay, that's what I'm going to do.
Graham, what do you got?
Let's go right for it.
Let's do it it It's Spanish production
So that's a big tip
The best clue is the weight thing
Disregard everything else
And just tell me a movie where someone gained or lost a lot of weight
Well I know it's not Raging Bull
From about ten years ago
So that would have to
make it...
By applause, how many people in the audience know the answer?
Oh, fuck off!
You think you know
you sons of bitches. You're gonna be with the bright
lights and a goddamn Wolverine next
to you.
It's so much easier to think in the dark.
Andy's got
his dick in a diorama.
You were
You think the
darkness is your ally? I was
born in it. You think
the diorama is your ally?
My dick is in it.
You're looking at my dick.
That's a great name tag.
Isn't it amazing?
I love it.
Oh, and the handle
and the thing,
that's like an electric toothbrush, right?
Or no, it was one of those things
that whips around.
Anyway.
It's just a light stick.
A light spinner.
Apologies to Amanda for working so hard
and then being chosen by an idiot.
What do you think it is, Grant?
It is...
2004.
Wouldn't it be great if that was the name of the movie?
You just stumbled into it
That's where John Cusack runs away
With a bike from Natural Disasters
There was a sequel
Why would he have to gain or lose weight for that?
Just wanted to be in shape for all that bike riding
Yeah
Make it believable
That's why I picked an exercise
Never mind
Graham? Yeah He Make it believable? That's why I picked an exercise. Never mind. Graham?
Yeah. He loves
whenever people start chatting because it gives him more
thinking time. But I'd be
amazed if you pulled this one out.
Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
Does Amanda have a shithead on the back of that thing? Yes, she does.
Okay, good.
Because I'm going to be saying it.
The answer is The Machinist.
That's what I was going to guess!
That's what I thought it was.
That's what I thought it was too, Vince.
And Vince is our winner!
Good job!
Well, Jess is the winner.
Jess is the winner.
Bravo, Vince.
Give me your name tag, Aaron,
because it's got a shithead on the back.
Jess gets all the prizes.
There's her shithead right there.
People are getting really creative
with how they put the shitheads on the things.
It's like a nice little note for me.
Well, that's a weird one.
Does it say Vince is a shithead?
Probably.
No, it doesn't say that.
Thanks, you guys, for being here and for playing.
I tried.
Yes. We'll start with Graham. You got any plugs? Yeah, listen to the podcast, Comedy Filmer. I tried.
We'll start with Graham.
You got any plugs?
Yeah, listen to the podcast Comedy Film Nerds at comedyfilmers.com or iTunes.
You guys are awesome.
Like I said, I'll be in the lobby
and then all my tour dates and everything else
are at grahamelwood.com.
Thank you so much, Pittsburgh!
Graham Elwood!
Thank you so much, Pittsburgh! Graham Elwood!
He's heading out to the lobby.
Here we are, born to be kings!
Graham has to head out to the lobby because that's where he does his best crying.
And you can see him out there and get
a Palm Strike t-shirt or
just say hi, take a picture,
whatever you want.
Vince, do you have anything to plug?
He already did.
Still got it!
Still got it!
You can wait for that one.
I was like, say plug. No, I didn't.
Great job.
No, no.
I'm good.
Watch Doug Lowe's movies.
Or listen to it.
Watch it, listen, whatever.
Listen to this podcast you're listening to right now.
Yes, listen to this one.
That's a good plug.
I should try to remember to do that one.
Don't forget to listen to Doug Lowe's movies.
That's all I got.
Good job, buddy. Where can people see you live, Aaron?
Don't look at Vince.
They're only going to see him either at home or the emergency room.
Wait, is that?
You don't go to, when you're having the baby, where do you go?
I don't know what she said.
What do you mean you don't know?
You don't know where you're going to go when it happens?
It's fully hard.
Just find shelter.
Just as soon as...
In old Buick.
As soon as she says her water broke,
just get on the internet, do some research.
Just Google it.
Google's pretty fast.
Figure out where you need to go.
I heard you should have a bag packed, but I don't know.
And bring ice chips.
I love those.
That's for your drink.
How did you know?
It's good for your drink.
Okay.
Aaron, where can people see you do your comedy?
I do comedy all over Pittsburgh.
I'm from Pittsburgh.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to be headlining here around Christmas.
So come see me do that.
And I have the Watch It For You series on YouTube where I watch movies for you.
And I'm also starting a movie podcast
with WDVE movie reviewer Sean Collier, if you guys know him.
And we're going to be doing that.
So just check out my website.
I'll have cards out for you so you spell my name because it's ridiculous German.
K-L-E-I-B-E-R.
And what's your website called?
AaronKleiber.com.
All right, cool.
Thanks, you guys. Thank you, sir. Vince Faust. Thanks for having? AaronKleiber.com Alright, cool. Thanks, you guys.
Thank you, sir.
Vince Faust, Aaron Kleiber.
Great job, you guys.
It was almost like you listened to the show and know how the games are played.
No, I don't want it.
Thank you. I'll see you't want it. Thank you.
I'll see you later.
This isn't goodbye.
I mean, unless the baby's like,
unless it's time to leave the cave.
I hope that was a satisfying
entertainment experience
for all you guys.
I'll come back sometime.
We'll do it for reals.
And as always, Nina Oswalt is a shithead.
I can't confirm or deny that And
I don't
This is worded weird
But I'll say it anyway
My sister's dog Gus
Is a shithead
Now it's time for us to watch
Our daughter talk
She hides a world in view And prowess makes it funny There's Doug to watch his other dog eat Guys, the world is viewing cow and snake shit
Dog eat, there's no room in his heart for you
Because Doug loves movies