Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood, Megan Neuringer, and Samm Levine Compete
Episode Date: February 27, 2014Graham Elwood, Megan Neuringer, and Samm Levine battle it out in the latest edition of the Tournament of Championships.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy N...otice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies.
Hey everybody, welcome to We'll Fix It in Post.
The show where shit goes wrong all the time and we either fix it or apologize for it and then move on because hey, it's free and we have fun doing it and hope you have fun listening to it.
Hour. That's a really long title for a show.
My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug Lo I love movies See even though you're Burbank
It's still in LA
You're still like an out of town crowd
You're on it
Like UCB is not
No offense to UCB
Many of you are probably there every week
But for some reason you come out to Burbank
You really get your shit together
You guys are committed
You guys are committed.
You guys are like right up in the front row eating dishes of food.
That's going to be bad for me.
I didn't have a chance to eat before the show.
I did have a chance to get
high.
So looking at that's going to be...
No, no. I'm joking around.
I'm just having fun.
Just having fun at Flappers.
Yeah.
We'll do the Charleston later.
It'll be great.
It's Thursday, February 27th, 2014.
Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day
of the Dead Men Walking Tall, the President's Men.
And it is
a tournament of
champs.
But first, some
plugs. I'm looking forward to
the Parahoy cruise next week,
doing a movie interruption
during South by Southwest, and
possibly a master pancake or two
while I'm in Austin.
And here in Los Angeles,
we're doing the third chapter
of the Getting Doug with High
Live at Largo trilogy
on Tuesday, March 18th.
Go to largo-la.com
and don't forget to use
the discount code GETDOG.
I will be angry with you
if you don't save that $10.
I appreciate all your support. Have any of you guys been to discount code get doug i will be angry with you if you don't save that ten dollars i appreciate
all your support uh have any of you guys been to a getting doug with high life oh shit was it was
it fun i mean you're now your front row at this show so i guess you're i guess you're in i guess
you guys are official fans that i should be nice to instead of just being jealous of your food.
But you couldn't eat at Largo, obviously,
but it was a fun time, though?
Okay, good.
That's confirmation right there.
The critics are saying, yeah.
And nodding their heads.
In the audience tonight,
supposedly,
some folks from my dentist's office.
Where are you guys at?
Are you here?
For reals?
No one from my dentist's office is here?
Or are you that shy that you can't admit
that you're from the dentist's office is here? Are you that shy that you can't admit that you're from the dentist's office?
Wow, they were really excited about coming to the show.
I wanted to say it's not...
They thought it was...
The person I was talking to thought it was me doing stand-up,
and I wanted to say,
no, it's a movie trivia game you won't understand.
And I couldn't bring myself to say it because
she was so excited about coming.
So she was like a big
fan of Super Jaime, which is always weird
when like in a
dentist's office somebody's like, you're so
great in Super Jaime!
And I'm just like,
um,
I just want to get my teeth
uh, my teeth cleaned. Don't need everyone to get my teeth... my teeth cleaned.
Don't need everyone to know my business.
I'm just still embarrassed
in front of anyone that's older than me
that my dentist, who I think is older than me,
he might even be younger than me,
but that my dentist knows that I'm this huge pothead
embarrasses me. And that's got to change, than me. But then my dentist knows that I'm this huge pothead. Like, embarrasses me.
And that's gotta change, you guys.
Legalize it in Alaska.
Come on.
And also, Tony winner
Steve Kazee is here.
Is that true? Yeah, he's here.
Holy shit.
There he is.
You know that movie
Once that got turned into a musical called Once
he's the fucking star of that shit
on Broadway
won the Tony Award
yeah first time
nominee bam wins it
long time
Doug Benson fan
you guys can put those
put it all together right
yeah they smoke weed on Broadway here we go the prize bag You guys can put it all together, right?
Yeah, they smoke weed on Broadway.
Here we go, the prize bag.
Prize bag includes stuff that was brought here by three of the best Leonard Mullen game players in the business.
Please give a big warm welcome to Graham Elwood,
Megan Neuringer, and Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a.
Lil Wolverine.
Buckle up. Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
This is gonna be...
That's right, Megan. Sit next to me.
Take control, Burbank.
Take control of your
mall city.
Maybe we should have Megan sit between Sam and Graham.
At first I liked her having her next to me,
but I'm thinking it's probably better to,
in case anybody starts swinging,
you want to get the girl right in the middle.
But you do want me as far away from you as possible.
That is correct, right?
I'm just like a human shield.
One time he put me
between, was it Kumail and Pete Holmes
on the road in Chicago?
Yeah, right where you deserve to be.
Damn right. I've been between
Kumail and Pete Holmes. He deliberately
puts people there
to break them up.
I put you between Kumail and Pete Holmes
and I put baby in a corner.
Oh. Alright. Nobody puts baby in a quarter. Oh. All right.
Nobody puts baby in a quarter.
Oh, no, I do, actually.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's your thing?
Yeah, her dad's dead.
It's cool.
Wow.
He wants a candle
and beauty in the beast.
All right, so...
Oh, I came up with
a great new game today, Graham.
What is it?
That we're going to play
in a future episode.
It's going to be Graham attempts to whistle the theme song from a movie
and the contestants have to guess what movie it is.
We should do a sample of that tonight.
No, no, no, no, no.
There's no whistling in the Tournament of Championships.
This is serious shit.
What?
Yeah.
Don't even.
My whistling is very serious.
I think your documentary about podcasting got funded on a promise
that you wouldn't whistle on my show.
But we're going to control it.
We're going to harness it.
We're going to use it for good.
And it's going to be a fun game that we will play.
So you'll still get to whistle.
So settle down.
Goddamn right.
Because we can't.
Whistling Banes, when they go out on the road,
they've got to play something.
So you should start learning movie theme songs.
They should only whistle movie theme songs.
Can you whistle with Bane voice?
The Whistling Banes is the name of the greatest rock band
that's ever been produced on the face of the earth.
Yeah, but he whistles like a person and then talks like Bane.
That's what I want to hear.
He doesn't whistle like Bane.
You should go to the laboratory and develop that, Graham.
See if you can come up with a Bane-like whistle.
Don't try it here.
If it talks like a bane and it whistles like a bane,
it's probably a bane.
God damn it.
How would that work?
Let's meet the contestants.
Let's talk about what's up for grabs tonight.
It's quite an amazing prize bag.
Megan Nuringer is here, everybody.
And she brought my favorite item in the bag.
I almost slipped it into my own pocket.
Socks that have
Bart Simpson
dropping his pants and showing you his ass.
Because when
a 12-year-old does that to you,
there's no better feeling.
When they went to Australia, he wound.
I hope a man over 50 years old
wins those and wears them.
Good luck, old man.
There we go.
Is there a man over 50 in the audience?
Come on, dude.
He's shaking his head.
Leave George alone.
Leave George out of this.
George, let's...
Hang on, Doug.
I think my podiatrist and some of the people from his office
are supposed to be in the crowd.
My yoga teacher.
Anyone?
No.
My urology team.
Are you guys here?
I mean, I didn't hope,
I hope something didn't happen
to the lady from my dentist's office,
but I also,
it's like dodging a bullet
that she didn't show up.
That's that classic.
Because the next time I go in, oh, that was fun.
That show you did.
That was weird.
Yeah, it was different.
No, I want these people.
I want George, who's at every show over at UCB.
We do one out in Burbank.
He makes the effort.
He takes a couple extra buses.
Yeah.
How do you get here, George?
He lives in Burbank. Did you get here, George? He lives
in Burbank. Did you walk here, George?
I finally made this so
convenient for George.
George, you're wearing shorts
and socks today?
Nice. And short sleeves. I bet you didn't
know they're going to be hanging meat in this main room.
It is cold in here,
home listeners. It is cold.
Graham Elwood is here you guys
hello Burbank
he brought
hello Glendale adjacent
he of course brought
a Whistling Banes t-shirt
that's right
we've all heard about
and
you selling those
yeah I'll be in the lobby
selling that
and the next thing
you've got though
comedy film nerds
guide to movies yeah Bobby's on that. And the next thing you've got, though. Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies.
Yeah.
And like I mentioned before, the Earbuds podcast about comedy.
Comedy podcast or any.
It's a documentary about podcasts.
Yes.
Yes, Doc.
Any kind of podcast like Like stuff you should know?
Sure.
This American Life?
Yep.
Okay, you lie.
No, it's about...
It's about podcasts.
Yes, the podcasting documentary.
And how much podcasts mean to people.
Yep.
Thank you to anyone who helped out on Kickstarter
and on Twitter and Facebook for promoting this.
I bet you some of you did.
You guys are awesome.
Admit it if you did.
Thank you so much.
George, no?
Okay, fuck you, old man.
He's spending his money on shorts.
Yeah, you short-wearing burr-backed livin' son of a bitch.
He's saving up his money so he can buy the rest of those shorts and turn them into pants.
I'm going to let myself out.
George brings the biggest signs in the business, but he won once, and I remember it, so now he's ineligible.
Wow.
I wouldn't let him go to Sochi either.
So
he had a lot of promises.
Ice dancer.
Sam Levine is here, everybody.
Hello.
Hello.
Thank you.
He brought my second favorite prize, no offense,
Graham, in the bag.
That is the deluxe Blu-ray editions He brought my second favorite prize, no offense, Graham, in the bag. And that is
the deluxe Blu-ray
editions of...
No, only one's a Blu-ray.
The best one's Blu-ray. Dark Knight is Blu-ray.
But also Batman Begins
and Two Dicks.
Two Dicks.
Alan Two Dicks will come to your home.
There's two villains.
Two bad dicks.
The uncut version. There's two villains. Two bad dicks. All the lines.
The uncut version.
Where's Rachel?
Hey, did I tell you guys about Chris Hardwick's got a new show?
It's after True Detective on HBO.
It's called Talking Dick.
And it's also after Looking, the other show on HBO.
Oh, it's funny for so many reasons.
From Doug Love Shirts, we've got a shirt it's funny for so many reasons. From Doug Loves Shirts,
we've got a shirt that's probably funny
in some capacity to
someone. And yeah,
DougLovesShirts.com. And this one is one
that says, and this t-shirt
contains nudity.
So that's
sort of funny and movie related.
And a copy of Gateway
Doug. And oh, this is kind of a fun extra thing
because it is tournament championships.
A gigantical book about, it's called I Want My MTV.
So if the winner cares at all about MTV,
they're going to be overwrought with joy.
And if they don't, they have something like
throw at a cat in the alley.
Why does it have to be limited to an alley?
It's got some heft because we're anywhere. Like a cat, yeah, if there's a cat in your alley. Why does it have to be limited to an alley? It's got some heft.
Are we anywhere?
What if I'm at the grocery store and a cat attacks me?
If you're at the grocery room,
grocery store,
and there's a cat that attacks you,
then you should just fucking wake up. Was your weed laced with cough syrup?
What happened?
Jesus.
Listen, you guys.
I'm going to sleep for a little bit.
I was multitasking.
I was talking slow
and putting shit back in the bag.
The Batman Dark Knight
blue dicks are the best part
of that prize bag, for sure.
Unless you love socks.
There it is.
Look at the covetedness
in George's eyes. Can I borrow
those socks to put on my hands?
With him, you'll definitely see the socks
because there's no pants covering them up.
Pour your beer.
Sam, what are you wearing?
You seem like you should be comfortable.
And yet, I'm freaking freezing.
I don't get it.
My hands are so cold right now.
I mean, I am wearing a heavy coat,
but I think it's comfortable in here.
It's just a light cardigan, Doug, I'm wearing.
I want to really illustrate this for the listeners.
I'm wearing a heavy coat of medication.
Let's get through.
You know, we got some time.
No, we don't have time.
No.
Because this might be competitive.
Can I predict ahead of time?
I won't say which person I'm assigning which number to,
but it's going to end someone with five points,
someone with four points,
and someone with two points.
That's my prediction.
It's a bold prediction.
It's not who you think.
Sam is going to finish with two.
Very well could happen, Doug.
It could happen, yes.
I have booted this game many times in the past.
You've done what to it?
I have booted it.
Oh, okay.
It's when you try to kick a field goal, Doug,
and you boot the kick.
That's it.
Don't worry about it. Best picture. What do you want to win? It doesn't Doug, and you boot the kick. That's it. Don't worry about it.
Best picture.
What do you want to win?
Doesn't have to be nominated.
Gravity.
Thank you.
Megan.
Yeah, I like that.
I didn't see 12 Years a Slave,
so other people, on their behalf, I would say that.
Why didn't you see 12 Years a Slave?
Did you not want to pay money to have a bad time?
I was like, this seems like it's going to be uncomfortable.
Super bummer.
It's a super bummer. Torture porn?
Yeah. What a bummer.
But gravity made me dig a scab
into my thigh when I watched it.
Like out of nervousness.
Well, there you go. I recommend.
We're going to throw a couple of scabs into the prize
bag, guys. 12 Years
a Slave is pretty intense,
so maybe you should go do the scab test
and see if you get a bigger one or an additional one.
Scab test.
A whole row of them.
Yeah, it's a heavy movie.
But yeah, Gravity is cool.
And Graham, you and I already discussed this on people,
if you haven't heard yet, on the Comedy Film Nerds,
Graham and I and Chris Mancini sat down and we just hashed it out.
And we're telling you how to win your Oscar pool at the office or amongst your friends or however you do it.
We released that last week.
So check that out.
Yeah, yeah.
Comedy Film Nerds.
Shazam.
What?
Shazam.
Shazam.
You know, Shaq said he will not do a Shazam reboot,
but that he would be into doing a Steel remake.
Wait, I thought... Which is, wouldn't that be bizarre?
Let's take the same actor.
He's older, but let's remake the first film.
And didn't I also hear that LeBron was going to do a Space Jam sequel?
A Space Jam sequel?
Yeah.
Space Jam just suddenly
got on my radar
because CineFamily's
showing it in a week or two
and there's a poster out front
and Hadrian was trying
to convince me
that people love Space Jam
and I couldn't believe it.
They do.
But I guess they do.
I think the people
that love it
have never watched it
end to end.
Yeah.
Like, they watch
like a minute of it
because it looks cool.
It's like, you know,
a bunch of commercials
all the time. It was directed by
a commercial director. It just looks
like commercials from that time because Michael
Jordan or Bugs Bunny was in everything.
Do you know why people like that movie?
Because they need a punchline for Twitter? Yes.
Also, Bill Murray.
Bill Murray, yeah.
Oh, he's in it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But people don't love that movie where he played
the president in the wheelchair.
That's true. Those are
the two Bill Murray movies that you
Space Jam and Moscow are
the... I'm just saying, I'm just saying, they're
both boring.
They're both boring. Hudson
is in both of those, Graham. I'll give you that. Hudson on the
Moscow. Hudson on the Moscow.
Wait.
Starring Robin Williams.
No, Hyde Park.
What is it?
Hyde Park on Hudson.
Hyde Park on Hudson.
All right, we got to do this.
We do, Doug.
Can I ask about the...
Did you say what you think should win, Graham?
Did you say?
Well, you said to listen to comedy film nerds
because we talked about it there.
Right, right.
But I'll still tell these people.
I'll go Gravity.
Okay.
I'll go Gravity.
So, spoiler on the comedy film nerds episode. Doug, can still tell these people. I'll go gravity. Okay. I'll go gravity. So spoiler on the Comedy Film Nerds episode.
Doug, can I ask why you have 11 pages of sides?
Because I'm reading for a fucking sitcom tomorrow.
In the middle of this show?
I have...
All right, here we go.
Sorry, I was just looking at some...
Let me read you the character description, though,
and you tell me if I'm going to get the part.
32.
Overweight.
Unkempt.
That's George.
Is that Barry?
He's describing George.
Doug, is that Barry?
Barry?
Yeah, it's a character named Barry. Oh, you're in some Barry? Yeah. Is the character named Barry?
Oh, you're in some other thing that's got a guy named Barry?
Deadline just offered it to Matthew Perry.
Oh.
32.
What do you do?
You put a little weight on?
Yeah, yeah.
Is he off the wagon?
They're changing the role.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, let's go with a TV star.
Let's try that.
Good strategy.
So I'm going to go in there tomorrow,
and it's just fun to pretend that you're in the business
and you might get a part.
Tell me about it, buddy.
Dude, you do great.
I do okay.
You do great work.
You get parts.
Because you have nothing else to offer.
Absolutely nothing.
Other than your acting ability.
Yeah, and even then, mediocre at best.
Nobody is in a desperate need or wants to pay a lot of money for trivia.
If only we could change that.
But you've got so much of it in your tiny skull.
I know.
And let's see what we can pull out of it tonight.
Graham, what did you do in the last show that was so fucking crazy?
Tell Graham what you did.
Negative three?
What was the movie?
I don't even...
Oh, negative three on... They know. What did the movie? I don't even... Negative three on...
They know. What did I do?
Parenthood, negative four.
Parenthood. Remember that movie? Yes.
Go negative four right now, Graham.
Do it. Megan can help you. Steve Martin.
I can help?
Steve Martin, then it would be after that. Who would be after Steve Martin?
Mary Steenburgen. Who would be after that? Oh Mary Steenburgen. Mary Steenburgen, sure.
Tom Hulse.
Who would be after that?
Ooh, Hulsey.
You're throwing Hulsey up early.
I'll go Hulsey.
Keanu Reeves.
Keanu Reeves.
Keanu, that's your four.
My fifth would be, I don't know.
Oh, Diane Wiest.
Oh, just to beat Sam down?
Sam's already shaking his head.
You're already wrong.
Diane Wiest.
What is the actual answer, Sam?
Wiest was three. Robarts was four. Moranis was five. Moran already shaking his head. You're already wrong. I didn't mean... What is the actual answer, Sam? Wiest was three. Robards was four.
Moranis was five. Moranis.
Robards. Fucking Moranis
was in that shit. Was it Martin
and... Yes. Yes. The two leads
of the movie were Bill 1 and 2.
Alright. Don't be a fucking
cocksucker asshole. Who do you guys...
We all know... Let me change the subject.
Oh my god.
Who do you guys... I have literally gotten the nastiest
fucking tweets. I am leaning
into this punch. I'll be the
villain. I love what you say
like you're choosing it.
I'll be the villain.
I'll choose to be the villain.
I didn't start out a villain.
They made me this way and now I'm leaning into it.
You know after the
Kumail and Marin thing,
I'm starting to think flappers might be cursed or something.
Because people get, it gets nasty at flappers.
It's also when I'm here.
Not to make it about me, but to make it about me.
You were here both times.
That's what I bring you in to be.
You're bad luck.
No, no, she's here to keep things cool.
You're the cooler.
She's the cooler.
Winston Wolf.
Was that his name?
Yes, but he wasn't the cooler.
What was he?
A chiller?
Well, you're confused.
He was the wolf.
Yeah, the wolf.
Winston Wolf is a different movie.
Kytel.
Pulp Fiction.
Whereas The Cooler was that movie with Alec Baldwin.
William H. Macy.
Yeah, The Cooler was making gamblers lose.
But I'm talking about somebody that comes into a situation.
What are they called?
The Fixer?
Fixer.
Fixer.
Okay, The Fixer.
All right.
Megan's The Fixer. Okay, the fixer. All right. Megan's the fixer.
I'm just the sitter.
Oh, okay.
The sitter?
Yeah, because you guys are a couple of children.
If you're bad...
You're hyping it up.
You're like the guy in high school
that would push two dudes into each other.
Yeah, fight, fight.
Look at that. Dude, fight, fight.
Dude, I'm trying to sell.
I got two different shirts, Team Sam and Team Ham.
Team Ham?
That was a Freudian slip because I'd rather make love to John Hamm than Graham Elwood.
Thank you.
Thank God.
Yeah, so I got some shirts to sell at Doug Loves Shirts.
So come on, you guys.
Fight some more.
Let the games begin.
That's the first time I've ever done Bane without cupping the mic first.
I was just like, I'll just do it with my voice.
What a lovely, lovely voice. But it's so much better when you do it that way.
So much.
It's just more real.
Such a beautiful voice.
Frangie range for the price of one.
You see.
I can't hit that note.
See.
Pick your name tags, you guys.
Oh.
Yeah, and while they pick their name tags,
we're going to go to these commercial messages.
Does anyone have a me-related name tag? And we're going to go to these commercial messages. Does anyone have a me-related name tag?
And we're back.
You guys here in person missed some good stuff.
Some good laughs were had.
Graham, who are you playing for there?
Well, he just gave me a DVD.
It's just a DVD of Pearl Harbor. It was a guy.
So his name is Harald.
Haraldbold. Probably a woman named
Pearl. Pearl.
Is my great grandma here?
Gigi, are you in the building? What's your name?
Where is the guy?
Jeremy Smith. What the fuck does that have to do with Pearl Harbor?
What does that have to do
with Pearl Harbor at all?
I know you hate Michael Bay. Oh, you just were like, I'll just hand him a shitty Michael Bay movie. What does that have to do with Pearl Harbor at all?
Oh, you just were like, I'll just hand him a shitty Michael Bay movie and I'm in.
That's how you get Graham Ellwood, ladies.
He wants to see me smash it. Well, sir, that was
very insane and yet wise
decision you made.
Yeah, let's go ahead and smash it.
Okay. Cover your eyes.
Wait till I get my vine ready. Gotta vine this.
How do you want me to smash it?
I just think you should put it on the ground.
You know, open it up.
And fuck it?
Open it up and set it down.
You know, kind of like a book.
You know, books.
Comedy Film Nerds Guide.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
And set it.
Go American History X on that shit, Graham.
Yeah, curb stop it.
Wait, Graham, wait.
Don't do it yet. Don't do it yet.
Don't do it yet.
Oh, yeah.
God damn it.
Ed Norton at his most intense.
Graham, don't hurt yourself.
I can't believe the Academy just wasn't scared
into giving him best actors.
Is this going to be so terrible if Graham gets hurt?
He's not going to get hurt.
He's not going to get hurt, Sam.
All right.
Be ready. I would get hurt. Front row should be to get hurt, Sam. All right. Be ready.
I would get hurt.
Front row should be ready.
All right.
This is how people break things,
is kicking plastic.
Okay, you ready, Graham?
Yeah.
Okay.
What do you want?
Do I get to count to three
or just go,
or what do you want?
Okay.
Three, two, one.
Whoa.
Oh, that was pretty...
Look at those shards,
ladies and gentlemen. That was pretty satisfying. Could have killed people. No, that was pretty... Look at those shards, ladies and gentlemen.
Could have killed people.
No, I was not hurt, Sam.
Could have shot it in somebody's carotid artery.
Oh, God.
Look at that divot you left on the stage.
Oh, flappers.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Congratulations.
All right, sit down.
Sit down.
Get back to your seat.
Come here, Meg.
Hey, Megan.
Who are you playing for?
Oh, uh, time
Uncle Traveling Matt.
Let's hold it up.
Thank you.
And Sam, who are you playing for? Dirty Jansen.
Which upon further inspection
is his first name, not his last.
Jansen.
Yeah.
And he made a wonderful poster.
I like this vine because it starts with Graham
smashing the thing, and then it's got Megan,
so it's got action and sex appeal,
and then it's got mystery because Sam is holding up
the thing and kind of blocking his face with it.
And, yeah, so it's a really,
it's going to be an elegant vine.
Action, sex, and mystery.
I'm really proud of this one.
I think it'll get 98 views.
Or likes.
What is it you get on there?
Do you get likes?
You get revines.
All right.
Jesus Christ
I've done a lot of shows with you dude
You're pretty fucking baked for this one
It's not just that I'm baked
I'm really happy right now
Because
I'm serious
Oh this is going great I'm glad you're happy If you're happy I'm serious. Oh, this is going great.
I'm glad you're happy.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
Yeah.
I'm like fucking Pharrell Williams happy right now.
I was fucking dancing and singing about it on Magnolia.
Dangerous.
On Magnolia.
Seems really dangerous.
Which part was dangerous?
Here we go.
To determine who goes first,
just a random thing that we're going to do
that I think will be fun.
We're going to play a round of
how much did this shit make?
And as sort of...
Call it whatever you want.
Retribution or just proof that the game is not as good a movie as Sam Levine thinks it is.
I like that you're equating box office with quality.
Well, you know, it happens sometimes.
That's true.
How much did Pearl Harbor make?
What movie did you want to win best picture? Oh, the one that made about $600 million worldwide?
Yeah, okay.
I didn't say that never the tween shall meet.
Right, and neither did I.
But you started it up.
Oh, yeah.
Fight it out.
You started that by equating the quality of the movie
with its box office take.
This is the worst conversation I've ever heard.
Right, but you're Captain Underline
about shit nobody cares about.
That's fine.
That's fine.
I think you're almost
like making my point.
I don't think so.
I'm saying how much
did that shit make?
I think it's shit.
Let's find out
how much it made.
Okay.
What?
Jesus.
If you were the lady
from my dentist
and you walked in late and then yelled out, why? No, she yelled out, open wide. What? Jesus. If you were the lady from my dentist,
and you walked in late and then yelled out,
why?
No, she yelled out, open wide.
That's dental humor, you guys. A lot of times when you go get your teeth fixed.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my butthole.
Graham sat on me.
I held the...
The half a DVD.
It's very sharp.
That could be...
That'd be a fun murder weapon
in a pot boiler.
Was it the Dirty Road Comedian
with the broken DVD
in the comedy club in Burbank.
Sam Levine, without going over, how much
did the game make
at the domestic box office
during its theatrical run?
And if they
re-released it. I don't know if they ever did.
Probably didn't.
$28 million. Because it was stupid.
This is the Michael Douglas
Sean Penn vehicle.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think, Graham?
I'm going to go with...
Please breathe into your microphone a little less, Sam.
Wait a minute.
I will go with...
Hey!
Wait a minute.
I'm going to go with...
I'm going to go with...
21 million.
Okay.
Oh.
Megan, Sam says 28.
Graham says 21.
You can do the Price is Right 1 bid if you want.
If you want to get a wide section.
You can go in between them.
You can go higher.
The game.
Oh, Michael Douglas is a very popular actor,
but that movie was not very good.
Bam!
My point.
The point I'm trying to make.
Oh, you found someone to agree with you.
I'm going to go with 20 million. Graham says he loved it, Sam. I love it. So. Oh, you found someone to agree with you. I'm going to go with...
Graham says he loved it.
I loved it.
20 million.
You're more alike than you think.
So you're going 20 million.
20 million.
Oh, all right.
Is that dumb?
Very.
It's very stupid.
That was dumb.
Because you only get that one million.
It's got to come right in there.
Yeah, no, that's real dumb.
It's not strategic at all.
No, there was no strategy. It's more like a right in there. Yeah, no, that's real dumb. It's not strategic at all. No, there was no strategy.
It's more like a person who's just like,
I'll say a number that hasn't been said yet.
That's exactly what happened, and I'm not even high.
That I can think of.
No, I'm sober.
It was just stupidity.
Well, I think, bless you.
Bless you for being dumber than me right now.
But do you want to stick with that
or do you want to pick something else?
I have to have integrity.
I'm going to stick with the dumb.
I like your integrity.
I like it.
Nice.
Well done.
I wish.
It would be such a funny punchline to go,
it made $20.3 million.
But instead, Sam is our winner
because it made $48.3 million.
Wow.
Yeah, which at that time was a pretty good haul for the shittiest movie.
I think David Fincher's made some of the best movies, so don't get me wrong.
You think the game is worse than Alien 3?
It's up there.
All right.
Yeah, but he found his way in the last several movies.
Sure.
I love Fincher. Tremend movies. I think Zodiac is
one of my favorite movies.
There's no way to make a more interesting movie about that fucking story
than Social Network.
Graham is
putting lights in the eyes of the audience
with the bottom of his
laser dick.
My laser dick is so
shiny.
Can I see that for a second?
No. Please! No, I need this.
Oh my god, it's the new whistling. It is?
It's like he found a way to be
quiet and annoying. Silent whistle.
He's annoying while he's being quiet.
So brilliant. Oh lord.
The silent killer.
Okay, shut up then.
That's how I go up to someone. I capture
them and I go, you choose.
Reflecting off my laser dick or
whistling?
What would you choose, Doug?
Oh, let's play that game on
Comedy Bang Bang
and play the Leonard Maltin game here. What do I do with my phone?
It's under my
balls.
I put it there because every once in a while I think, I might not
get testicular cancer.
How can I up my chances?
Zoinks.
Just sit on it for a while. I treat it like
a sauna. I do it for 45 minutes every
day after my workout.
Is that what your doctor would say
when he finds a lump on your ball?
Zoink!
Somebody's got nut cancer.
He better call it nut cancer.
That would be the best doctor ever.
To just put a gentle, cute spin on ball cancer.
Somebody's got a bad ball.
Zoink!
It's the Hanna-Barbera
doctor.
Hey, dynamite,
you got bad balls.
That was more of a fat Albert doctor.
We've got a lot of
ground
to cover, Doug. Here we go. Give me some
categories. Graham, we've got a long way to go and a short time to get there. We're going to do what they say can't be done Doug. We got a long way to go. Here we go. Give me some categories. We got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
We're going to do what they say can't be done.
Doug, so it starts with me and then goes to whom?
We got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
Come on, let's go bandit run.
All right.
Oh, my God.
Is freaking Pete and TJ here?
Doug, we're starting with me and going to whom?
Let's go to Megan.
All right.
Yeah.
It's all business.
No, somebody has to Megan. Alright. Yeah. It's all business. No, I, somebody has to be. Right?
Yeah, I'm such a,
I just let everybody do whatever they want.
At
Clint O'Hare, Sam. Alright.
Suggests forest fires.
And that's movies where Tom
Hanks shoots someone.
Okay.
At Scott Darcher wants us to do Kareem Abdul Jafar.
And that's Disney sports movies.
Okay.
So sports movies made by the Disney empire.
And at Peckowitz suggested Scott Beowulf.
And that's the films of Scott Beowulf or werewolves.
So films, can't really say films of werewolves.
Films with Scott Beowulf or werewolves.
And I don't believe there's a case of both.
All right.
If I'm wrong, just fire a note to the corrections department.
I will do the Tom Hanks category.
Okay.
That's film.
So who are we going to after we do it?
Oh, wow. He needs to know exactly what's up. How about I decide
later?
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
Year? 1987.
Alright.
He says that this movie...
He says...
Oh, okay, this is interesting.
He says that this movie at one point goes flat.
Right?
But then he says,
the punchline
is a howl
a howl
Leonard Walton
you know him Sam
I do
Graham you've met the man
yeah
sitting in his seat
oh
Tom Hanks with a go
oh
and he lists eight names.
After the howling, he wrote down eight names.
How many names?
Negative three.
The bloodbath begins!
What would you have bid if Graham was going next?
I don't know.
Okay.
You do know.
You chess player, you.
Hey, Gabe.
So what happened?
He went negative three.
You got to know what it is.
Do you know what it is already?
You could be honest with us.
I have two ideas.
Oh, ideas are good.
Yeah.
But within those ideas
do you think with either
or both of them
you can name four
of the top billed actors
in the correct order?
No, not four.
Then you're going to have to say
Sam named that movie.
Hope he's wrong.
He'll be right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then he'll explain
how it was hard it was.
I won't do anything.
Okay, yeah.
I could easily be wrong, Doug.
Sam's got to name that movie.
Here we go.
Is it Dragnet starring Dan Aykroyd,
Tom Hanks, and Christopher Plummer?
Yes!
Wow.
That's what the people pay to see.
I never even heard of that movie.
Sam, I dare say that you're a freak and a geek
Yeah
Because
You could play on either team
You're really a special person
Thanks buddy
It's not the man with one red shoe
It wasn't volunteers
Did he shoot somebody in either of those?
I don't think so
He's pretty non-violent that dude What was the joke at the end that made him howl? It wasn't volunteers? Did he shoot somebody in either of those? I don't think so.
He's pretty non-violent, that dude.
What was the joke at the end that made him howl?
Like, Dragnet, what's the big payoff? I don't know what the fuck could have happened
at the end of Dragnet.
Where they do the rap over the credits?
Like, what the fuck?
I've been looking for this pen for a while.
It was in that other hand.
Got to mark down that Graham got a point.
Yep, that sounds good to me.
Look at that face.
Look at that face.
I know what you want, Doug.
I'm not going to give it to you.
All right, well, you will anyway.
Let's not stand on ceremony.
As soon as I don't want it, he'll give it to me.
In spades.
First of spades.
I do feel like I am on drugs, though.
That's good.
That's a good place to be right now.
I know.
You just got to let these titles just come into your head.
Even ones you've never heard of.
Just go with the flow.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Graham gets to pick.
Then we go to Megan.
Graham, would you like
at filthy underscore fetus suggested...
That's my OKCupid name.
Points! That's my OKCupid name. Points!
That's so great.
There will be Bloods, which is movies that have gangs in them.
Another option for you is Wins in Scrabble,
and that's movies that begin with J, Q, X, or Z.
Yeah, and Slay Anything,
movies where John Cusack
kills someone.
Which one of those do you like, Megan?
I thought it was me, no?
I just want to know which one she likes.
And then you're going to pick one.
No, go ahead, Graham.
Which one?
I'll do the gangs one.
Oh, yeah, that's the one I liked.
Oh, perfect.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1988.
Yeah.
He says that the two lead performers are well matched.
He also says that it's realistic
if unexceptional.
And he says other things I don't
understand.
And
he names
ten people.
Ten
performers associated with this movie
that has gangs in it.
I'll go negative two.
Wow.
That's...
Can't believe that happened.
You know, Alex Trebek just needs
to slow down every once in a while.
I think that'd be just as fun
as, you know,
like, give us all a chance to think.
What do you think, Megan?
He's got to name it.
Okay.
Is it
Colors with Robert Duvall
and Sean Penn?
On wrong order?
Is that what I did?
I did wrong order.
It's Sean Penn,
Robert Duvall.
Sean Penn, then
Robert Duvall.
Fuck.
Yeah, see, I knew that.
What were you thinking, Sam?
Were you thinking it could go either way?
I would not have been able to pick the order.
I never heard of that movie either, by the way.
I was like, New Dead City?
It's directed by Dennis Hopper.
Yeah.
Well, get ready to poker face it up, Megan,
because there's probably a lot of movies in here
you haven't heard of.
These are extra tough ones for the...
That's why I'm so good at this game.
...for the term permanent.
For the tenermanent.
Where do we start?
Sammy.
Sammo.
Yeah, body.
And then we'll go to Megan.
I'm in a tough spot.
Yeah, keeps ping-ponging on you.
Remember when Doug made you change seats?
Yeah, yeah.
She doesn't get to pick this one up?
No.
She doesn't get to pick this one up.
So don't get to pick no dog. So don't get the pingo down.
So don't get the
pingo down.
Right?
Sam, would you like
comedians?
Wow.
I don't know what
people would make of
a guy who's high and
a guy who's not high
acting that way.
She gets a point.
You mark that down?
Nice.
I like to show my work.
Comedians of comedy, bang, bang.
Sam, that's movies where Brian Posehn
or Zach Galifianakis or Patton Oswalt dies.
Okay.
I don't think Maria Bamford's died in a movie.
Teen Wolf of Wall Street.
That's movies where Michael J. Fox plays a financier.
Financier?
A financier.
I see.
Not a fiancé, but a financier.
And at not Tiernan said Anchorman 2,
and that, of course, is sequels that take place on a boat.
On a water vessel.
I thought we did that, and it was Speed 2.
Is there another one in that?
I'll take that one if there's another one.
You know what?
I think there's more than one movie that has a boat in it.
Sequels on a boat.
He likes sequels on a boat, everybody.
I just pity your choice.
Oh.
But I think I know what's going to happen.
One and a half stars from Leonard
for this movie
from 1979.
Oh.
Leonard says about this movie
that it is needless.
And...
Oh, and it's a career killer.
Remember that Ice Cube song?
Career killer.
Yeah, needless career killer.
And Leonard lists what looks to be 11 names.
11 names.
11 names.
How many names can you get it in, Sam?
I'm going to say negative three, Doug
Boy, this guy
It's like he knows what the movie is
It's like he does
Do you know what was going to happen, Doug?
He's that much further ahead of everybody
So he has to just name it?
He doesn't have to name the three in a row?
If I call him?
Oh, yeah
Yeah, he does
He has to get them in the right order
And he has to say the name of him in the right order. Remember the point you just got?
And he has to say
the name of the movie,
the correct full title
of the movie.
That's not a clue.
That's not a clue.
It's a boat sequel
from 1979.
Yes, it is.
I've seen this movie
and it is terrible.
Name it, then.
It's Beyond the Poseidon Adventure,
starring Michael Caine, Sally Field, and Telly Savalas.
God damn it!
Wow!
Wow!
Telly Savalas!
I bashed my own face with the microphone out of anger.
Yeah.
I wish my dentists were here.
All right.
We might have to...
This episode might have to fold over into another episode.
That would be interesting.
What would we do?
I guess whoever's in the lead when we run out of time
will give the prize bag to the person that's playing for that person.
You watch a lot of movies?
No.
I just have Netflix.
And, I mean, you've told this before.
It's not a secret.
You grew up on the Leonard Moulton books, the guides, and you, so you like.
I've memorized the entire book from beginning to end.
You actually recognize reviews.
And that's probably, no one else has that skill.
I don't know that I recognize reviews, but I have learned that there are certain words that you use out of context.
And then I try to figure out what the actual context of those words was.
Every answer you give just makes everything worse.
You know...
What the...
Why?
Why do you try to turn the world against me, Doug?
Why?
It couldn't possibly be anything you've done.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
You know, Doug, you should do a podcast trivia game
that's based on our bodies ourselves,
and then I'd really tear it up.
All right.
That's the book I said.
That's a good suggestion.
That sounds exciting.
Good work, The Fixer.
Who do we determine that gets to picnics?
Sam got it.
Who challenged you?
It'd be Graham going to Megan.
Graham gets to go, and then we go to Megan.
All right, you guys.
Come on.
At cock underscore bobber.
I'm trying to be serious.
That's the name?
That's my other...
That's not a joke.
That's the name of someone on Twitter.
I thought that was your Christian Mingle one
underscore
bobber
I'm going to steal these
That's good
As long as it doesn't go in my vagina
it's okay Christian Mingle
Oh that's not a profile tap?
You're mistaking that
I think you're thinking of Christian Mingle
Oh
Marijuana That's movies where Meryl Streep smokes weed You're mistaking that. I think you're thinking of Christian Mangle. Oh.
Marijuana.
That's movies where Meryl Streep smokes weed.
Yeah.
Turn over a new leaf.
That's movies when Joaquin Phoenix was credited as Leaf Phoenix.
And at Blueberry Johnson suggests,
who's one of my favorite pimps on Twitter. That's why
I follow him.
You're in this.
Oh, I can't even do that one.
Apologies.
At Mike
underscore Spadafora
suggests 2001
A Spacey Odyssey.
And that's Kevin Spacey
movies from 2001.
And that's Kevin Spacey movies from 2001.
Graham?
What was the first category?
That one, back about 15 minutes ago, was marijuana.
Okay, let's go Kevin Spacey, 2001.
Okay, Kevin Spacey had some movies come out in 2001.
Oh, really?
It's one of the narrower categories.
Two stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 2001.
You already know it, Sam?
Not yet.
He calls it fuzzy.
Did that help?
It's not on me, so...
I know, but did fuzzy help you?
No.
What if I said he also used the word wasy?
Now I got it.
It's like his review of the bear.
He wasn't fuzzy, was he?
Jackass! He says this movie fails despite the best efforts of its cast.
So the cast gave it a go.
And it was fuzzy.
From 2001.
gave it a go and it was Fuzzy from 2001 and Mr. Maltine lists ten names.
What do you think?
How many? I'll go seven names.
Seven names, says Mr. Elwood
Miss Neuringer
name it
seven?
you want to give him
seven out of ten?
he's not going negative
he's going to get
seven names
out of the
so you can
you can bid lower
you could say six
six
or you could say name it.
But naming it, you're giving me a distinct advantage.
Oh, that's true.
Seven out of ten names you'd be giving him.
Oh, that's right.
Okay.
So I can only give him six?
No, no, no.
Hang on a second.
Do you not know how to play?
You guys talk about that.
I just want to say something.
I do.
Doug loves movies where even the champions don't understand how the game works.
I realize we've only been doing negative names so far.
That's how hard it is for me to get people that...
He's going to get your names from the bottom.
I know, I know.
He's going to get seven out of ten.
You can bid anything lower than seven.
Right.
Negative three.
No.
Megan, no.
Megan, you don't want to...
Megan, no.
Megan.
Do you really think you know what a negative three is?
Put the gun down, Megan.
Megan, put the gun down. Megan. Megan put the gun down Megan put the gun
down
Megan
say six
six
okay negative three
oh
six
Megan
no
I'm keeping the game spicy so then it goes it goes back to me is that correct Megan, no!
I'm keeping the game spicy.
So then it goes back to me, is that correct?
That's correct, Doctor.
You cocksucker.
Don't make me add another nickname because it's too hard to say all of it as it is.
You just realized what my potential strategy could be
or you realize you don't know the three names?
I'm not going to answer that.
I think he just realized I might start calling him
AKA the cocksucker.
Because I could just say
negative four and give her the point.
You could say negative four and give Megan the point.
That's true.
But where's the honor in that, sir?
That's very honorable. You want to be Jon Hamm But where's the honor in that, sir? That's very honorable.
The honor.
You want to be Jon Hamm?
Where's the honor in studying a goddamn book?
You book learning studier.
I remember how this game works now.
She's in it to win it, you guys.
Slow hustle.
That's some really mental, yeah, you guys. Slow hustle. That's some really mental...
Yeah, you're really throwing a game on everybody.
Don't look at the thing in Doug's hand.
He's not looking at it.
Graham's not a peeker.
He's accusing me of cheating.
But he is a bloody reeker.
No.
How many points does everyone have?
I don't know.
I have two.
Megan has one.
Everybody's got one.
Wait, what? That's incorrect. I have two points. Oh, okay. Sorry. I don't know. Everybody's got one. I have two points.
I tried to give Graham one.
I know.
He deserves to have one.
Now he's got a big zero.
With a line throughout like a one.
I'm doing pretty good.
Do you want me to go negative four, Graham?
Would that make this easier for you?
Because I...
Because what?
Because he will if you want him to.
Well, if you're going to be a cock about it,
I'm going to go negative four then.
There you go, Megan. Here's the point.
Really?
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
No, Doug Doug calm down
Calm down
Now I'm about to tie you
Do you guys really want to see the game played that way
That was pretty sweet
That was pretty sweet
That's fine
You'd make a move like that
Alright
Name it
You're not above that move
No clearly not
Name it. You're not above that move. No, clearly not.
Name it?
Oh, shit.
I don't know if I know this.
Okay.
The names are... No, no, no.
Is the movie K-Pax?
What happened?
What's Sam doing?
I'm going to fucking leave, dude.
You're going to leave?
Why don't leave?
That's the filthiest non-point
that's ever happened in this game.
That's how I win.
My strategy is to let you duke it out.
Somebody here or out on the
internet knows of a time when you
pulled a sneaky move on another player
and convinced something to happen
so that it would go your way.
You have to have done something like that.
Yeah, but not like that.
I don't understand the difference
other than your Kevin Pollak impression.
That was dirty.
Wait, your sneaky moves aren't dirty
and his dirty moves aren't sneaky?
Yeah, because he did not know it
and he deliberately threw it to give Megan a point
so that I could not even try to get one.
Yeah, that's called blocking the foot out.
That's within the rules of the game.
You're like a guy, so when you watch football,
you're like, that's bullshit.
They keep tackling the guy
instead of letting him run into the end zone.
No, but you understand, though.
He's clearly the fastest guy in the field.
But you understand.
That's bullshit.
You're still going to have zero points,
and now Megan's going to be closer to the win.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So, no, but I just want to be clear, again,
because I'm the fucking asshole. I want to be clear. It's not that you aren't going to win. It's that I can't win. Oh, really? No, but I just want to be clear again, because I'm the fucking asshole.
I want to be clear. It's not that you
aren't going to win. It's that I can't win.
It's just that it's also
that third place. So you are playing with the
Jon Hamm strategy. But sometimes
Sam third place
is the most satisfying.
Clearly.
This is exactly, by the way, the only reason I keep
getting winning. Yeah, it's because you're great. You, the only reason I keep getting winning.
Yeah, it's because you're great.
You are the fixer.
You come in.
I'm stealth.
But you mostly fix it for yourself,
but that's cool.
It works out great.
Yeah, name it.
It's K-Pax.
It's Jeff Bridges,
Kevin Spacey,
Leif Garrett, and Ricardo Montalban.
Pretty valiant effort, because he got three out of four.
No, the first two you got right in the wrong order, right, Sam?
But it was K-Pack.
Oh, are you asking me?
Yeah, sure.
Is Kevin Spacey then? Kevin Spacey, Jeff Bridges, Mary McCormick,
Alfred Woodard. Oh, shit. What's number five?
I don't know.
Three names? Does that help?
Uh...
Did somebody say Haley Joel Osment?
I don't think
he's in that movie.
No, I don't know.
But it was K-Pax.
Correct.
Yeah.
I never heard of that movie.
Shazam, bitch.
Hold on, why didn't you start with negative two?
Graham still did it.
Huh?
Why didn't you start with negative two?
Why didn't you go seven?
It came to me, fuck.
Oh, you're the one that said negative three.
Right?
I wasn't sure at first.
You really got to look at the scoring evidence
and what Graham did was successful,
so you really can't question it. But I've seen
you do that. Like in poker, when you lose a hand, you
question what somebody else at the table did
that caused you to lose the hand.
It's an interesting perspective
that you have.
I'm going to vehemently disagree with you.
If you don't think you've ever done that,
you're flat out insane.
I would think this is a game full of
integrity.
We have different therapists.
It is.
We all have different therapists.
Strategy is... We got to get through
this shit, you guys.
All right, let's do it.
We got 22 minutes.
So Sam and I are tied.
Biggest problem always says
let's do this.
Yes, you guys are each
tied with two points.
That means I'm as good
at this game as you.
A hundred percent.
I can't argue with that.
I know as much about movies as you.
We start with Sam, and then we go to Megan.
Sam, pick a category between.
At Koji Werner suggested Barton Stink.
That's John Turturro movies that got less than two stars from Mr. Malton.
At Syntix Phone, Sintrix Phone
suggested The Nut Job,
which is movies that have a woman dressed as a
man. And
at David K. Ashton
suggested Full Metal Jacket,
and that's a movie where a robot
has sex.
Let's do the Totoro.
Which one of them's...
Totoro.
Totoro.
So it's Totoro as what?
Less than two stars for this movie,
for Totoro that he was in.
Would you like one, Sam, from 1985 or 2001?
2001.
K-Pax.
Oh, boy.
K-Pax.
Oh, boy.
I wish I could think of the other Kevin Spacey movie from that year, but I can't.
One and a half stars.
2001.
Simply awful, Leonard says.
So that's an interesting contradiction.
Because you think it'd be less than one and a half.
You know, that's between poor and fair.
It's also between one and two.
Yeah.
Simply awful.
He also says that Thomas Hayden Church
appears uncredited.
And he lists
ten performers
as having something to do
with this motion picture.
Sam!
Negative two.
The audience over there, Jesus Christ.
Came to Burbank for this shit.
Simply awful. 2001. Came to Burbank for this shit. Simply Awful.
2001.
Johnny T.
Johnny T, ladies and gentlemen,
stars in the Simply Awful classic.
You gotta name it.
All right.
Go, Sam, go.
Was there bemoaning from the crowd?
You guys are like assuming I'm already correct.
Is it Monkey Bones starring Brendan Fraser and Bridget Fonda?
Yes.
Monkey Bones.
That's a deserved win.
I had no idea
Until he said
Thomas Hayden Church
Have you ever watched
UFC fights Sam?
Yes Doug
It's really fun
How like
What happens is
The crowd just sort of
Boos when they don't like
What's going on
But then they go
Ape shit for whoever
Is winning
Yeah
That's the turn
Just a little advice
For everybody
Keep making them boo
and keep waiting for all that applause
and it's fucking gold.
All right.
I mean, you knew that movie.
You're doing it right.
Yes.
And you'll see guys who are like...
I have seen Monkeybone.
You'll see fighters
that aren't good ground fighters
so they keep the fight up and punch
because they don't want to go to the ground
because they know they potentially could lose.
Oh, interesting.
I don't understand that metaphor.
Yeah.
You're saying you take it to the ground?
I'm saying you play to your strength,
and mine is to block people and say, name it.
Oh, that's a good point.
It is sort of his style, Sam.
That's cool.
What we're saying is that was a gorgeous win.
Oh, thank you.
You've earned our respect.
Nobody's making fun of you right now.
No.
No, this is not patronizing in the least.
No.
No, no.
If you were a store, we would not be going into it.
Thank you.
That's correct.
We're not patronizing you.
At Sleepy Geppetto
starts with Graham goes to Megan
suggested
non non
stop and that's
films set in India
non
stop
squid eye
suggested how Doug
and that is movies with jump in the title Stop. SquidEye suggested How Doug.
And that is movies with jump in the title.
And AtGilson2 suggested Every Time I'm Out, They Pull Me Back, Indiana Jones.
And that's sequels that came out ten years or more after the original movie.
Yeah, that is a nice one.
I will go with the sequels one.
Okay.
This movie,
that was a sequel that came out 10 or more
years after the original.
Got two and a half stars from
Leonard and came out in 1998.
The second one came out in 98. Yeah. This one came out in 1998. The second one came out
in 98. Yeah.
This one came out in 98.
Do you know what I mean?
And it's the sequel.
It's a sequel
from a movie from 10
years prior. So I'm not pulling
any fast ones, but it could be like a James
Bond movie or maybe
Harry Potter. Yeah, Harry Potter came out in the 80s
and 90s. Maybe, sure, sure.
It's just more than 10 years difference between the first one
and the one in question.
And the clues are
hard to find.
The movie was hard to find.
It's just like this list of what he calls an incredible lineup. it's just like this list of what he calls
an incredible lineup
this list of people
and then he also says
there's a phone number
there's a phone number in this review
that Leonard is claiming is the title of a song
yeah
that's the most confusing clue I've ever given
I know the song
enjoy it
ten names how many names can you get it in
oh my goodness
some of the audience
has had a baby
negative three says the guy of the audience has had a baby.
Negative three says the guy in the audience that went,
Oh!
Mr. Belvedere says negative three.
Tear up the China.
Oh!
Oh, Wesley.
It's Bane as Mr. Belvedere.
Okay.
I got it, stall tactic.
Take control, Wesley. Mission impossible four, stall tactic.
God damn it.
You stall so long, I don't even know what's happening.
All right, seven names.
You said seven names, Megan.
Six.
I thought you knew this.
Now you're in a position to win
how you hate to win.
Two.
Two names.
So it's the V now.
Interesting.
Yes.
Back to you.
So regular old two names.
Unless you'd like to be disqualified.
If you'd like to skip to Megan and be disqualified,
that's an option.
You know what, Sam?
I think you need to name this.
I agree.
All right.
I have faith in you, Sam.
Oh, okay.
I don't.
I do.
Here's why.
Your two names are Erykah Badu and Daryl Hammond.
Erykah Badu and Daryl Hammond in a movie from 1998?
Yes, you have 18 seconds.
Darryl Hammond.
12 seconds.
5 seconds.
That's not nice.
It's like a timer in a movie.
A bomb is going to go off and every time they go back to it
it's not even close
to how much time is going.
Graham is trying to blind me
with the broken DVD.
The home audience.
That'd be weird to win this game
by distracting somebody with a shiny thing.
It's very strange.
Oh, you use it on yourself.
It hypnotizes yourself into being smart.
I'm like the Kaiser Soze of disc blinding
What do you think, Sam?
Blues Brothers 2000
That's correct
Oh, nice!
What the fuck did Erykah Badu do in that movie?
He had a bunch of
That's what he went apeshit about with all the crazy people
And there was a song in it called 6-3-4-5-7-8-9
Yeah, I don't know We both thought it was 8-3-4-5-7-8-9?
Yeah.
We both thought it was 8-6-7-5-3-0-9. I know, right? Yeah.
Did he just get the number wrong?
Oh, Leonard.
All right.
So Sam has four points. He's one away
from the win. Megan has two. And Graham has
zero points.
So it seems like
Graham might just be in a spoiler position.
Especially if we're going to get this done tonight.
Let me ask flappers real quick.
Can we get a little extra time?
Can we go to 9.32?
Thank you, flappers.
This crowd gets very serious at times
and didn't realize that that request was probably a joke.
They were like, oh, an extra two minutes.
That seems very appropriate.
They might have thought the show was supposed to end at 9.25
or something. I just pulled out seven minutes.
That'd be applaudable.
Two minutes, I was trying to make a joke.
Is the free parking
lot going to allow us to stay an extra two minutes?
The good news is that for the first time
tonight, Megan gets to pick the category
and then it goes to Graham.
That is good news.
Can we go to 933, Flappers?
Thanks, Flappers.
All right, Megan.
Why would he ask for just an extra minute?
I don't get it.
Would you like...
This doesn't make sense.
Ads A Drinking Buddy suggested the YOLO virus,
which is a movie
where an actor
who played James Bond dies.
Wow, that's really intricate.
Yeah, you only live twice.
Virus.
Yeah, yeah.
It's very intricate.
Too intricate, maybe.
YOLO virus was enough,
but I think I said that somewhere.
That's where I got that from, I think.
Someone needs to say it again.
At John Knee, Utah, and it's spelled John and then the word knee and then Utah,
suggested Robo Cop Out, and that's a PG-13 remake of an R-rated film.
Yeah, that's a fucking sweet category.
And then Andrew Ryan, Andrew with a Y, suggested My Wife.
And that's movies where Isla Fisher is not married.
So it's most movies when you think about it.
No, she has to be in it, but not married.
I would have made the category about it. No, she has to be in it, but not married. I would have made the category
about her being married,
but I can't think of a fucking movie
she was married in.
I'll do the Isla Fisher
because they're more recent.
Theoretically.
So what's this category?
She started when she was a baby
from 1972.
Oh, there's no way she's 40, Doug.
From 1982.
All right.
No, this year is, you're right, it's pretty close, 2009.
And two stars from Leonard.
He says about this movie that has Isla Fisher in it
that this movie is frantic.
And he says it has a fleeting
appearance by a very respected
actress that
implies that there was yet
another subplot trimmed from the
film. So Leonard is clearly
unhappy with the number of subplots
to begin with and then even noticed one
that he got angry about that wasn't there.
And I agree with him.
I don't remember any of this. I did see
this though. And anyway
5, 7, 10,
13, count it with me
17 names
he lists for this movie.
That's a lot of people.
A lot of names.
And they were all in it?
I've seen them.
No, they just bought tickets.
That's not including like gaffers and pet boys?
These people were all in it,
but it generally means that when you get 17 names
that you're going to hear some names
with pretty small roles.
Got it.
It's going to dwindle down.
I like to teach the strategy to folks
during the championships.
I don't know.
I feel kind of dumb, but I
think I could do it in three
names.
Alright, kiddo.
Name it. I have to say the names?
No.
I love that.
You figured out a way to make this complicated game
like crazy more complicated.
Yes, now you name three names
that you think are at the bottom of the names
of the list of 17 names. I'm going to tell you the three bottom that you think are at the bottom of the names of the list of 17 names
I'm going to tell you
the three bottom names
oh perfect
and then
did you win
a radio contest
to get on this
how did this happen
I at least knew
what colors and K-Pax
was for the record
that's true
I will give you that
she did go negative
names Graham
in a previous game and then also
won the whole thing. I'm just being
my authentic self.
She qualified for realsies.
My authentic
self. Alright, we gotta do this.
Let's do it. Two stars from Leonard.
I'm giving you the clues again if you haven't
realized.
2009.
Something else.
And a third thing.
No, it's frantic.
And there's a fleeting appearance by a classical actress that makes you think, what the fuck?
Yep.
The fuck is missing from this?
Piece of shit.
Give me those names.
Christine Ebersole. John. Christine Ebersole,
John Sally,
John Sally,
and Wendy Malick
are the three lowest billed
out of 17 names.
That's a lot of names.
All talented actors, by the way.
John Sally is an amazing actor.
Detroit Piston John Sally
is unbelievable.
He's the Dennis Rodman of film actors.
I'll have you know I have done sitcoms with both
Christine Ebersole and Wendy Malick
and they are delightful.
There's no way that's true.
100% true, bro.
Fellas, we gotta pull the Rift Train into the station
and leave it there.
No one on and no one off.
We gotta play probably two or three more points
in seven minutes.
Hang on just a second, though.
Hey, Flappers, can we go to 934?
Thanks, Flappers!
All right.
Any idea of a movie with Isla Fisher in it?
Just name a movie with Isla Fisher in it.
Wedding Crashers.
Oh, that is a movie with Isla Fisher in it.
This one is called Confessions of a Shopaholic.
Oh! That's the other that I'll feature in. This one is called Confessions of a Shopaholic. Oh!
Yeah, yeah. That's the other one I saw. You know,
throw a girl movie into the mix
and it doesn't
ring a bell. I saw that movie. Yeah, see what I'm saying?
But it was
a valiant effort and now Graham's
on the board. Ba-boom! Yeah, yeah.
Not shut out, but also
probably still gonna lose. If I had! Yeah, yeah. Not shut out, but also probably still going to lose.
If I had to make
any predictions.
We start with you,
right, Sam?
Yes, sir.
Who do you think
we should go to from you?
We should probably
go to Graham.
Oh, you cheater.
No?
No, that's correct.
Okay.
I assume,
because you said so.
That's the one thing
all the times I play this,
I still don't understand
the order of who gets
what where.
I still don't get it. Well, you're not paying attention. It's very simple. That's the one thing all the times I play this. I still don't understand the order of who gets what where. I still don't get it.
You're not paying attention. It's very simple.
It's true. The person who didn't
get involved in the last skirmish
they pick and then it goes
at the person that challenged.
Oh, okay.
So the person who prevailed is always
put back in a position.
I'm still having fun.
Oh, that's great. I'm having a blast.
That loss doesn't bother me just now.
No, it was good.
It was nice.
It was a good strategy.
But what year was Wedding Crashers?
2005.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, I got my dates mixed up.
Wouldn't it be funny if we were just playing a hoax on the listeners
and Sam was always just looking right at the Leonard Maltin app
while we were playing and just pretending to...
Donald Logue.
Donny.
Donald Logue celebrating a birthday.
Today.
Big shout out, D-Logue.
So the films of D-Logue.
Okay.
Your favorite category in In Theaters Now.
In Theaters Now.
Because there's still some movies on Leonard's dead app
that are in theaters now.
Good.
And Hasty Infection suggested Getting Doug,
and that's movies that have the word high in the title.
Oh, let's go with that.
You like that?
Word high in the title?
Would you like a movie with the word high in the title
from 73 or 86?
Son of a bitch.
73.
Yeah.
86.
Don't make me change my mind.
All right.
Let's go 86. All right, let's go... 86?
All right.
For the win.
One and a half stars from Leonard.
Okay.
For this movie from 1986
that has the word high in the title.
He says about this movie
that...
One of the actors in it shows some style.
But he also says that
this movie is relentlessly showy.
It's kind of
that's pretty much how I would describe
Graham Elwood
he shows some style
relentlessly showing
enough with the showy
six names are listed
by Mr. Maltz
I'll take six
strong opening bid.
Where do we go?
To me.
That's what I thought.
Sam said six.
Yeah.
Now it's your turn to say a number.
Or name it, Sam.
Dude, we could bring this thing in on time
if something happens quickly.
Don't feel that pressure.
You play your strategy.
Thank you.
Oh my God, Megan.
Thank you.
You've got the place till 9.35.
Let Sam win.
Let Sam win.
Yeah, their crowd will not be joining you on that chant.
They won't.
I learned that pretty quickly tonight.
But also, I can't imagine a more unhappy you
if you won because everybody let you win.
You want to really win.
So here we go.
I will go with four names.
Name it.
All right.
Son of a bitch.
I'm not even giving you the clues again.
I think I deserve the clues again.
Okay.
One of the stars.
Whatever year I said it was.
86.
It has the word high in it.
In the title, yes.
And
Relentlessly Showy.
Also one of the actors
shows some style.
And six names.
You're going to give him four of those now, Doug.
I have four of those names. So you read me four.
Alan North.
I haven't smoked since I came out here.
How could I?
Oh, it was an edible.
Beattie Edney.
Beattie Edney?
There's a person named Beattie Edney.
Sean Connery.
Clancy Brown
oh this is um
your time is up
fuck
which one is it
is it
I'm just gonna go
the original
I'm just gonna go Highlander
Graham has two points oh The original. I'm just going to go Highlander.
Graham has two points.
Flappers, can we go to 935?
Thanks, Flappers.
So the two leads are then Chris Lambert and...
I don't care. Let's keep going.
All right.
Who's the second lead?
I thought it was Connery. We've got a long way to go.
If you guys are really going to catch up to Sam
and beat him, it's a
long, hard climb.
It's 4-2-2, I believe.
Who challenged who there?
Megan challenged Graham, so it
starts with me and goes to Megan.
Just where I want to be.
Let's do it.
Did you have no idea
and you were just trying
to send it down the line
or did you really go,
you knew,
you just went six
to try to send it around?
Is that a strategy thing?
I don't know
what you're talking about, Graham.
Can I have some categories,
please, Doug?
I think the smartest bit
if you don't,
if you're not sure
what the movie is
or even if you are sometimes
but just want to be careful
is to just pick all the names
when you get to go first. Breakfast at Tiffany, a movie where a diamond is, or even if you are sometimes, but just want to be careful as to just pick all the names when you get to go first.
Breakfast at Tiffany, a movie where a diamond
is swallowed. Walter Mitty,
a movie where Walter Matthau
wears mittens.
The Notorious B.I.G.
movies with big in the title.
Which one would you like, Sam, for the win?
The movies where
someone swallows a diamond.
Would you like a movie where someone swallows a diamond Okay Would you like a movie where someone swallows a diamond
From 1976 or 2000
1976
Oh he goes extra deep
He's got movie knowledge
Two and a half stars from Leonard
He calls this movie
Glossy
And he says
That two of the Perform performers in it are superb
but the film doesn't do them justice.
And he names
eight names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Negative three.
What a showy finish we can get it done in three minutes
I feel it
so who does it go to then
Megan
we know what Megan has to do
what if I know it
then say negative four
okay name it yeah see like there What if I know it? Then say negative four.
Okay, name it.
Yeah, see, like there he could have tried to convince her to just throw it his way and then one of them would get the point,
but he didn't do it.
Yeah, not that time.
Okay, buttercup.
Don't try to point it out.
Don't forget, you guys, hashtag it Team Sam or Team Graham
and let me know What you think
I'm starting to get
Hung up
Alright
The movie is
Marathon Man
Dustin Hoffman
Laurence Olivier
Roy Scheider
Sam Levine
You did it
You are
The Tournament of
Championships winner You're going on You are the Tournament of Championships winner.
You're going on to the Super Tournament of Championships round two.
I want to apologize in advance to everyone who has to hear me in that
and hates me as much as they do now.
I think you're going to get along great with Ken Jennings and Matt Myra,
and it's going to be a super fun time.
That is going to be fun.
Yes, it is.
This was fun. Are you kidding me? Yeah, it is. This was fun. Are you kidding me?
Yeah, I had fun.
I got to
break a pearl thing.
Pearl Harbor. Yeah, yeah.
We need a shithead from Pearl Harbor.
Do you want to just yell it out?
We've only got two minutes left.
Hang on just a second. Can we go to 936
Flappers? Thanks, Flappers!
What's your shithead?
Who do you want me to call a shithead?
Pearl Harbor?
Shia LaBeouf. Good one.
You're awesome for that. Good one. This guy's
really got it in for Michael Bay.
As well you should, sir.
And was there one on the back
of your name tag, Megan?
Yes, there was. Okay, good.
That one could be in secret. What's a name tag?
For the very end. What are your plugs, Graham?
Give me your plugs. Just pass it over here,
Megan. You don't have to read it. I will be
headlining the
improv at Harvey's Hotel and Casino
next week in Lake Tahoe,
March 5th through the 9th, and I'll also
be headlining the improv in Hollywood
March 22nd. All my tour
dates are at GrahamElwood.com
Nice
plugging. Megan, what do you
got coming up? I'm doing a
show at the Downtown Independent
March 4th Sleepaway Camp.
Yeah. That's a cool theater.
It's in the audience. Yeah, that's cool.
That's a cool theater. Yeah, it'll be fun.
That's it.
It's like you were invited by somebody's mom. I was. It'll be fun. That's it. That was like you were invited by somebody's mom.
I was.
It'll be fun.
There will be juice and activities.
Do you guys like making macaroni necklaces?
Sam, what do you got?
This Sunday at noon Pacific,
tune in to KevinPack's chat show dot com
where our guest
will be none other
than booger himself
Curtis Armstrong.
That is going to be
a great episode.
And while I still
have the floor,
I want to apologize.
You guys are right.
I am fucking insufferable.
But here's the thing.
There's nothing
I can do about it.
This is who I am.
That was the best
apology I've ever heard, maybe.
It's delightful.
You're being authentic.
There is nothing,
there is no other way
I can be.
I'll give you a hat.
I've tried.
Good for you.
Thanks.
Just fucking own it.
We're people like
Graham Zooloud.
Sorry.
I don't know how
to be fucking quiet.
Yeah, let's love ourselves.
Quiet people are assholes.
I'm going to own it.
There's people out there that love both of you guys.
I just can't get over the constant hatred I hear about Megan.
People will not give me a fucking second's peace.
They make it personal.
With the Megan is the worst.
Megan, she knows all the rules.
We wish she'd pretend to not know some of the rules.
Sitting here tonight going,
Megan, you're winning some people over.
Oh, her miming characters.
Oh, it's Wendy.
It's Wendy out.
No, you're not breakdancing in the wind.
What is this? Where's the person Sam was
playing for? Oh, that was Jansen. Dirty Jansen.
Very heavy prize bag. Come get your
prize bag. Congratulations.
Yeah, and they can take that back if they want.
How many hands?
He's taking the long way around.
What do you think this is, the Golden Globes?
Are you Jacqueline Bessette?
Congratulations, dude.
And I'm going to be at the Slingshot Festival in Athens, Georgia on Saturday, March 22nd.
It's a thing called Comedy Night, and Jonah Ray is going to be with
me there. Thanks to all of my
guests. Thanks for a great tournament.
He'll be on the lobby.
Graham will be on the lobby with his stuff.
Amazing
tournament. All the drama.
All the comedy.
Everything you'd want in a podcast.
Award winning, I'm going to guess.
And as always,
are you ready, Matt, with the music?
And apologies to Flappers,
we went to 937.
God damn it!
As always,
Shia LaBeouf is a shithead,
and Sprocket is a shithead and Sprocket is a shithead
now it's time to go
to another hockey
I suppose if you and I was
Mexican hockey there's no
room in his house for you
cause God
loves movies
thanks you guys we'll see you again soon
for another episode of Jerry Springer