Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood, Preston & Steve, and Keith Moser Guest

Episode Date: September 8, 2013

Live from Philadelphia's Helium Comedy Club, Doug welcomes Graham Elwood, WMMR's Preston Elliot and Steve Morrison, and Leonard Maltin Game winner Keith Mozer to the show.See Privacy Policy a...t https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody Until minutes ago I lived in darkness Hey, everybody. Until minutes ago, I lived in darkness. I meant to say seconds.
Starting point is 00:00:33 They just turned the lights on. So good to see everybody. It's so much more helpful for me if I can see what I'm doing up here. Let me get my little prepared comments out and get this thing going. Are you guys ready? My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is God Loves Movies! A few of you got off the rails,
Starting point is 00:01:04 but most of you were right on, right on schedule. Coming to you once again from Helium Comedy Club on Sunday, September 8th, Two Oceans 13. It's the 8th, right? Let me see your name tags, Philadelphia.
Starting point is 00:01:18 There's a giant, Corey with his giant fork, her giant fork. Sorry, Corey. You know, movies. I assume all Corey's are men. Bob Roberts is a movie. And you wrote that on a piece of paper.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Is that your actual name, Bob Roberts? Depends who you're talking to. Okay. Bob Roberts. This guy. Why did I start talking to the most boring-looking name tag? Like he would have something interesting to say. Like, look over there, a Doug's life.
Starting point is 00:01:55 It's like a bug's life. And is your name Doug? Yeah, there you go. I didn't know if you were sucking up to me, which is not worth doing because I don't pick the name tags. What's this crazy goblet right in front of me? It used to be a gumball machine.
Starting point is 00:02:12 It used to be a gumball machine and now it's something you're just holding up randomly. Look, I have a thing. Why don't you just fucking hold up your beer? That'd have a better chance of getting picked. I'm so mean. Shaun of the Dead, you didn't do shit to that because your name is dead.
Starting point is 00:02:33 I love a Darth Vader mask with just Tina taped on it. Like, he would have been a lot less threatening if he had a post-it that said Tina on his forehead. Alright, well, there's so many name tags. This is one of the best cities for name tags, or I should say areas, because a lot of you guys come in from other
Starting point is 00:02:53 places, and thank you guys so much for participating and bringing the name tags. In Los Angeles, the name tags are getting very sparse, and it's disturbing to me. On September 17th, I'm doing a huge show there, amazing guests. And if there's only five people and they all have former gumball machines, I'm going to call myself the shithead at the end of that episode
Starting point is 00:03:19 for giving them a free show almost every Tuesday. I'm not going to be there this Tuesday, because I'm going to be in Yonkers, New York, interrupting Cabin Fever on its 10th anniversary at the Alamo Draft House. They've got booze there, I think, so come get shitty while I talk shit. And my other two shows in New York City are sold out, so come to Yonkers, is what I'm trying to say.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Great guests here in Philadelphia, as always, because you guys know probably what's going on today, because we've been talking about it at the Bethlehem show last night and on the radio. But in the prize bag, we have my two most recent CDs. Also, Doug Diggs' A a copy of Up in the Air on DVD. I love Up in the Air.
Starting point is 00:04:10 I love that movie. It's not just because it has past and future guests, Anna Kendrick and Zach Galifianakis in it. It's just a great movie. I mean, maybe I love it because I travel so much. I keep waiting for Sam Elliott to sit next to me on a plane
Starting point is 00:04:25 and just twirl his mustache and talk to me about what a great flyer I am. We've got a book here that you guys are probably familiar with. Let's get my guests out here. Give a big, warm welcome to Graham Elwood, Preston and Steve, and Keith Moser. Rosa!
Starting point is 00:05:03 Thank you, thank you. It's very tight up here today, and I think it's mostly because my table is taking up so much room, so I'm just going to move that down a little bit, scooch down. Everybody can get a little bit more breathing room. I know how dudes love to sit as close as possible to each other. My pet peeve lately when I'm flying is when I'm on an aisle and there's a couple that sit in the middle and the window,
Starting point is 00:05:24 they treat me like I'm going to attack her or something. And they protect her by putting her in the window. And then her big stupid boyfriend's got his big stupid arms on me for the entire flight. I'm like, why can't you put Tiny next to me so I can enjoy this one for once? I don't know why I'm saying that. I'm just sick of it. Am I right, Graham Millwood? Yes, you are. I'm doing a selfie. Graham's big pet peeve when we're flying is the person that's sitting behind you that has to use your chair to get up out of their chair. How the fuck hard is this move? Look what I'm doing. No hands. Stand up. Boom. Press it
Starting point is 00:06:06 up. Bam. You don't have to do this fucking... Get the fuck off my thing. It's not a goddamn jungle gym. Get the fuck off my thing. So articulate. I went to college. Hey. What? State school. State school. Let's get this out of the way right away, Graham. You know, you always have a ton of plugs. Let's just do it. Let's just do it right now. L.A. Podfest is almost upon us. Yes, we're one month away. October 4th through 6th.
Starting point is 00:06:42 We have someone wearing a Podfest shirt in the front row. I think you were there last year. You're coming again this year. Yeah, go to lapodfest.com. Just a million podcasts over one weekend in one hotel. You really truly get to mingle with everyone. Like you can go up to Marc Maron and go, what's your problem? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Why are you such a weirdo? Yeah, just walk up to Jimmy Pardo and go, bag of corn, friend? You can do whatever you want. And we're having a closing night party that's sponsored by MailChimp that's going to be free food and drinks. We're having live band karaoke.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Aw, shit, you heard that right. I will be singing Bon Jovi. I will be singing some Bon Jovi, for sure. There will be a wanted... I want you dead, not alive. And... And my band, the Whistling Banes, they're going to be there. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Brilliant. Yeah, yeah. So come out to L.A. Podfest. I just had an idea. It's probably too late now, but next year Preston and Steve should come out and do their podcast. Yes you should.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Absolutely. Absolutely. Because Preston Elliott and Steve Morrison are here you guys. Thank you. They are back from their very wildly popular here in Philadelphia show, Preston and Steve on WMMR every morning, weekday mornings.
Starting point is 00:08:14 You know, let's not get crazy. Yeah. No, you guys have to work every morning from now on. Right, yeah. But last time we did the show here, you guys were not on. Casey from your show was on. Yeah. Casey boy.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Did he do a good job? We heard he did a great job. Yeah, he did a great job. He'll never be back, but he was good. By the way, when I tell him that, he's going to slit his wrist. Oh, my God. No. He's got the shakiest.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Won't handle it. No, he's a great guy. It was a great show. I mean, you know, what are you going to do? When Bert Kreischer's around, all the oxygen is gone. Casey was just sucking at the air, hoping to get out anything. But he was
Starting point is 00:08:52 great. But another guy on your show, Nick, whose last name is Llewellyn? McElwain. Llewain? McElwain. Except in my phone, I never knew how to spell it, so it comes up Nick McWhatthefuck. Auto-correct is so dirty.
Starting point is 00:09:08 You've been waiting to say that on your show for years. And I can't. Now you can finally swear. I sort of say it. But anyway, that's the thing. The point of my story is I don't know his last name, never have. It's always just Nick from Preston and Steve. You know, I barely know Preston and Steve's last names.
Starting point is 00:09:25 So when I said his name, I was like, Nick McElwain is a shithead. I was like, who's that? Who cares? Must be somebody's buddy or something. Because if I'd have known that it was that Nick, I would have said, hey, come on. He's not so bad. But I want you to tell him on Monday
Starting point is 00:09:45 that, like, the next time we come through town, could you like to switch it up, you know? Sure. We should have Nick on next time. Absolutely, he'd love to. He's a good guest. He's actually very jealous. Yeah, he's been on Comedy Film Nerds.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Yep, yep. Yeah. All right, cool. That's about that. And, uh, Keith Moser is here, you guys. And, uh... A lot of Moser fans here tonight? The Moser army is here?
Starting point is 00:10:13 People are into the Mos, man. You defeated Graham Elwood last night quite handily. Easy. Easy, quite handily. It was open water and he said zero names because no one knows the two actors in that movie. But I'm sure the actor's parents
Starting point is 00:10:33 know their names. Barely. I don't know. I think their parents are like... They're both dead. They died in that movie. But their parents are probably like, I don't want to watch that shark film.
Starting point is 00:10:45 So they don't even know the name of the movie that their kids were in. Yeah. Shark film. Shark film. That's what they should have called it. It would have made another two or three million dollars. Fuck yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:53 It would have sold out. Yeah. Release it at Shark Week. There was a sequel to that. Opener Water. And I think the idea was everyone, the sailboat goes out, and everyone goes for a dip,
Starting point is 00:11:04 not realizing that someone should probably stay on the boat. That's how they all end up getting stranded in the water and that's how they die. Have you seen it? No, what's it called? Open Water 2. That's what it said. Now that we know the ending, we don't need to watch it. This probably pertains to number one.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Open Water 2, colon, what the fuck. Dude, you were supposed to stay on the fucking boat. lessons, open water two, colon, lessons not learned.
Starting point is 00:11:35 I kid you not though, I think that's the, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's the plot. They all get into the water not realizing someone should be there to help them.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Well, it has to be more people. Yeah, with the sequel, it has to be more people. Like Human Centipede, they added a couple people for the sequel. You know, it's there to help him. Well, it has to be more people. Yeah, with a sequel, it has to be more people. Like Human Centipede, they added a couple people for the sequel. You know, it's got to be bigger.
Starting point is 00:11:49 I think you're right. More disgusting. And, but so, so Keith beat Graham by, but you know, he controlled the board, basically. He picked Roe versus Wade, which is movies with one or more people stranded at sea. And then, yeah, everyone had a good laugh over that because there's nothing funnier than abortion.
Starting point is 00:12:11 It's always funny. It's always hilarious. Have you been to the clinics? Oh, we got to do a DLM at the clinics. We got to do it. It's going to be so funny. They would love it. Totally take their mind off of it,
Starting point is 00:12:25 except for this category. And, um, so I don't think this podcast would take their mind off of that event. He picked the category, he picked the year. And then, uh,
Starting point is 00:12:36 so he narrowed it down. He knew you knew it was open water. I was hoping, and I knew it was early two thousands and the description, the cinematographer, director, writer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:44 And Leonard only listed two names. So, so uh plus there was a huge disparity there was like 1944 1990 and then 2004 so if it was like 2002 and 2004 there might be like which then you wouldn't sure if it was open water but 90 was clearly what joe versus the volcano i swear to god you two guys are the only fucking people on the planet that would have narrowed that down to open water based on clues like, his wife also worked on it
Starting point is 00:13:12 and filmed it. Like, it was, you guys really honed in. Like, you really, both are very familiar with that. A small independent movie. Right. I really wanted to be here, Doug.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Yeah. He fought for it. But you had heard Roe vs. Wade as a category on the show before, right? And so you already started running through your head movies where that happens. Kind of, yeah. I figured Open Water was the only one that really came to mind.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Oh, there's more. There was one in 1944. I remember. And one in 1990. I don't know. Yeah, well, they'll be back. I can't throw out that category. Because it gets such a huge laugh every time I say it. And that's what we're here for. Is for the comedy.
Starting point is 00:13:51 But Keith brought some prizes for tonight. Would you like to describe them? Sure, yeah. I brought William and Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Music edition by Baz Luhrmann. Fantastic movie. What does that mean, music edition? It has some special features I think I saw
Starting point is 00:14:05 on the back. Can I keep this? Sure. I'm going to hang on to this one. This one's not going in the bag. That's messed up. You watch it, view it, and give it away in LA. That's a good plan. I'll watch it and give it away because there's no reason for it to sit on a shelf. Speaking of sitting on a shelf, I found this
Starting point is 00:14:22 blockbuster all time favorite movies and music. What does that even mean? Blockbuster the store. The store that used to exist in the 1990s put out this book. Thank God that the book still exists. It probably has a copyright of like 2000, so there's no recent movies in there. But I was looking at it when I brought it down. It seems like a fun Leonard Maltin type game, but no stars.
Starting point is 00:14:42 But it's the most pointless guide. It's horrible. Because Block it's the most pointless guide because because the poster was the most pointless story yeah but they don't take us they don't take an opinion about anything they just list a few actors and then the director like these are favorites so there's no favorites so they're all favorites boys on the side what a great movie what a fantastic tale of actresses that are on the side. On the side of the boys.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Doesn't someone get violently hit with a baseball bat in that movie? I think so. Boys on the side? Yeah, I think so. I think there's a serious beating in that movie. I could be making it up. Are you the one with Rosie and Adam? I think there's a serious beating in that movie. I don't know. I could be making it up.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Are you thinking of Boys Don't Cry? No, that wasn't with a bat. That was just more sexual abuse, right? Sexual, yeah. Yeah, they tore her clothes off and laughed at her genitalia. Right, yeah. I mean his clothes. So, what else you got?
Starting point is 00:15:43 I just have these stickers. I'm in an improv group Up in Bethlehem Called 4AM in Thailand So I figured I'd plug them On the podcast Stickers that say 4AM in Thailand Yeah
Starting point is 00:15:51 We're on Facebook and Twitter So if you want to follow us That would be awesome Whoever wins today Just there's five of them Your goal Your goal is to stick them On walls all over
Starting point is 00:16:01 Downtown Philadelphia And really get the word out About 4AM in Thailand. It makes you think. You don't even know. The sticker's pointless, but have fun. Have fun with them. Well, it turns out, usually when we let an audience member
Starting point is 00:16:16 come on the show, they're very quiet and polite. And this time, we got ourselves a loquacious motherfucker. You have to commend him. He's going for it, you know? Yeah, no, he's completely... He's got his shot.
Starting point is 00:16:32 He's doing exactly what I would want him to do, which is be himself. So I see you guys holding some prizes, too. Steve, what's in your swag bag? They are pretty shitty prizes. Oh, they're horrible. Horrible. I'm amazed. Actually, what's in your swag bag? They are pretty shitty prizes. Oh, they're horrible. Horrible. I'm amazed. Actually, this is pretty good.
Starting point is 00:16:49 It's continuing the tradition of self-promotion. This is a t-shirt, a MMR 45th anniversary t-shirt. Yep, hence the little 45 doohickey in the middle there. It's pretty good. I love WMMR because we were listening to it last night in the car on the way home. Who is that deep voice guy that's always reminding people that you're listening to WMMR?
Starting point is 00:17:09 Jackson. He's got the greatest voice ever. WMMR. I think in some shifts they don't even have a DJ. It's just he comes in every once in a while and reminds you that you're listening to WMMR. Right. But I just love the way he's just, WMMR. Like it's so deep and so...
Starting point is 00:17:22 93.3 WMMR. There's a dude who just images the station. Is that what you're talking about? What? An actual DJ. No, no, that's what I'm saying. He's just the image... Imaging?
Starting point is 00:17:33 Is that what you call it? Imaging, yeah. The guy... Yeah, it's the guy who just does that. But they use him a lot in the later hours. I know you're not up because you have a show the next morning. Yeah, we get up early.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Yeah. But yeah, the ballsy dude is pretty impressive. So, these are President Steve boy shorts. I don't like that they... Oh, I see. They're for girls, but they're called boy shorts because that's what they're really for.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Oh, I thought dudes would wear those. No? Yeah, no, no, no. Some dudes wear them, I think. You know what? I think you should model them right now. Graham! Because podcast listeners love a good underwear over the pants gag
Starting point is 00:18:15 more than anybody. Wow, very nice. Look at that. Wow. That is pink and precious. You know what? I think we need a twerking demonstration. That would really take our minds off of Syria if you would just...
Starting point is 00:18:38 Oh, shit. All right. So he's going to leave them on the whole show. Yeah. Hopefully it won't, like you won't be bad at the Leonard Maltin game because all your blood supply is being cut off. And then you'll take them off and give them away to a lucky audience member
Starting point is 00:18:54 at the end of the show. Yeah, and I'm already breaking into camel toe, so we're doing a great job. President Steve's chick magnet. Chick magnet, that makes sense. It's a magnet with a chick on it. This I don't get. I mean, God bless you, and it's wonderful.
Starting point is 00:19:07 There are loads of attractive women in this calendar, but it's the end of the fucking year. Yep. We've still got three more months. Let's see what they have in store for themselves. Oh, look at October. She's like, this shirt might come off. We'll see.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Oh, wow, there it's like so wet that it doesn't matter that it's a shirt. This is a girl that thinks people want to see the same pose twice. And I'm not going
Starting point is 00:19:35 to name names though. November. And, oh, December. That'll warm you up. And then, and then there's a lovely montage of a bunch of girls
Starting point is 00:19:43 at the end. Like, this is great to have bad right why don't you guys we'll get your signatures on it that'll make it more more of a keepsake and then a bumper sticker and then a bumper sticker it's another bizarrely i have the beatles rock band video game which does anybody still play this so you can take this you can take it to your local GameStop and trade it in for something else if you want. Did you know that you can,
Starting point is 00:20:10 but open it, make sure you open it because they won't take it if you don't open it. If you take it in, that it's pre-sealed, they will not buy it from you. Because they think you stole it and returned it. I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? Sounds like personal experience
Starting point is 00:20:22 is coming into play here, Preston. And then, hold on, then I have this shirt. River Valley Vocal Band. Yeah, Doug, this is from our fake folk vocal group that we have on the Preston Street Show. That's a real vocal band, yes. Alright that we have on the show. Fake my ass. That's a real vocal band, yes.
Starting point is 00:20:47 All right, so those are the goodies. By the way, we were taught our vocal lessons from none other than Justin Guarini. Yes. I heard that that band's original name was A Slighty Wind. A Slighty Wind. Where's that plastic bag that all the stuff was in i need that still okay um here yeah yeah and where if people who don't live in is it running off to star in american beauty too doug looks for floating bags just to make that joke like he drives around town hoping to see that
Starting point is 00:21:21 just to make that joke. Like he drives around town hoping to see that. Have you seen, there's a short film that's about a plastic bag that is narrated from the point of view of a plastic bag.
Starting point is 00:21:33 And, oh, that sharpie's gone forever. It's from the point of view of a plastic bag and the voice is Werner Herzog. Really? The director? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:43 So look that up on the internet. It's like 20 minutes long but it's all about this sad, lonely bag just going, you know, and then I was on the beach. And a delightful young woman came along.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Would it be okay if I watched that while I drove back to Bethlehem tonight? Would Werner Herzog be okay with me watching a video while driving?
Starting point is 00:22:02 No, you know how he feels about texting while driving. But I'm not texting, I'm just watching a video while driving? No, you know how he feels about texting while driving. But I'm not texting, I'm just watching a video. It's in the same category, dude. Same thing. And also, Graham Elwood brought a copy of comedy film notes to the book. Oh! The novelization.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Yes, the novelization of our podcast. That's all it is. It's just transcripts of Chris and I arguing about tree life. Chris and Graham were a little grouchy when they walked into the garage that morning. Great prizes. Somebody's going to win them all. Oh, no, they're not. You guys have good prizes. Ours suck,
Starting point is 00:22:38 but the t-shirt's okay. Hey, if someone doesn't live in Philly, how can they listen to your guys' podcast? Well, on the internet. They can do that. You're very good at self-promotion. I don't know. Hope you have electricity. Thanks, guys.
Starting point is 00:22:51 Just hop on the internet. Use your computers. Various other. Yeah, it's presidentsteve.com. You can get it. WMMR.com. Yep. And we're on iTunes along with you guys right there.
Starting point is 00:23:03 And thankfully, we do very good numbers with the podcast. Outstanding. A lot and about. And thanks to you guys, especially. It's awesome. Come on. Thank you. I had so much fun playing that game when we were at Hershey Park, where you put a bunch
Starting point is 00:23:16 of candy in my mouth. And then I had to say what everything was. And I would get two out of three every time. There was always a third rogue candy that was so new. I'm not really a candy aficionado as much now. You kicked ass.
Starting point is 00:23:32 You were to have that amount of candy in your mouth and you reeled them off. Not only if you weren't exactly on, you were on at least a similar candy name. I just thought of an interesting porn version of that game. Where you get three actors and an actress who's worked with all of them.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Yeah. You don't tell her who they are. She puts on a blindfold and then things get disgusting. I don't want to talk about it anymore. And one of them could be Charleston Chew. It'd be great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Charleston, ew. Oh, my God. We're so far behind schedule already. I always love to ask all the guests what they've seen lately. I hate to skip that part of the show, so let's just very briefly go into, have you been to the movies lately, Keith Moser? Unfortunately, no. Okay, moving on to
Starting point is 00:24:29 the next. You'll get another chance. Yeah, have some water. Rehydrate. Get ready to get back in the game. Steve? So all the summer movies, the big blockbusters, and I don't know, maybe you'll hate me for this, but I still love Pacific Rim.
Starting point is 00:24:55 I thought that was fucking awesome. You go so far as to say favorite of the summer? Yeah, believe it or not. It was the one that made me feel the most childlike, and it was awesome. I thought Superman was good, could have been better. So you, when you were watching Pacific Rim, you were like crying and shitting your pants? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:25:13 I think it was just sucking on a booty. I walked in shitting my pants. That movie made me feel like a baby. Yeah. I was nursing for the second half. That's why you loved it so much. It was awesome. the second half. No, it was... That's why you love the show. It was awesome. It was awesome.
Starting point is 00:25:30 What about you, Preston? I saw only a couple of movies this year. I saw Star Trek Into Darkness, which I loved. Yeah, J.J. Abrams. I'm so happy that he brought that franchise back around. I don't know if I liked it
Starting point is 00:25:43 as much as the first one, but I definitely liked it. Well, that's what, through the whole thing, I was kind of like, well, maybe the next one will be, you know, like I didn't hate it, but I was also like, maybe the next one will be more, like just the fact that they're just going to keep making them makes me happy.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Agreed, yeah, me too. And then I saw, then I got dragged to The Heat, that Sandra Bullock, and that should be actually in Roe vs. Wade because that was an hour and a half abortion that I had to sit through I thought.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Well, Preston and Steve in the mornings you guys. WMMR. The category isn't abortions. The category is't abortions. The category is people stranded at sea. Aha.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Which I'm pretty sure does not happen in the heat. Thanks for the clarification on that. You didn't like the part where they danced? I didn't like... Oh, God, the whole fucking thing, man. I was just... That's the first negative thing I've heard about that movie, to be honest with you. Oh, I thought it was predictable.
Starting point is 00:26:47 And Melissa McCarthy, God bless her, she's really talented. But I think the foul-mouthed character... They're making her work too hard now. She's been beaten into the ground. We did get a lot of her very quickly. But Identity Thief, which is, by all accounts, a much worse film. Like a horrible film. That came first,
Starting point is 00:27:06 so maybe that's part of the burnout that's been happening. She needs to extend her resume. Perhaps she should have played Daisy in Great Gatsby. Would that have been nice? Perfect.
Starting point is 00:27:16 That would have been so fucking great. She'd be like, Gatsby? Who's Gatsby? I want to punch fuck him. They said punch fuck back in that day.
Starting point is 00:27:30 23 skidoo, punch fuck. I'm just saying that's the kind of thing she says in every movie. Graham, what about you? My favorite movie this summer was The Heat I thought it was
Starting point is 00:27:49 like a beautiful child being born I thought it was like it was just gorgeous that was also my favorite temperature of the summer
Starting point is 00:27:56 I actually just saw a movie called Ip Man The Final Fight which if you like those Ip Man movies Ip Man is the guy who trained Bruce Lee
Starting point is 00:28:04 it's awesome martial art film. It's very hard to find. It's VOD and stuff. Check that out. I like promoting that. Oh, I left out my favorite movie, which was the greatest movie ever rolled. Oh! Look at this guy. I was about to Time's Up, fucker, but then...
Starting point is 00:28:20 I was going to cut you off with this O-end also. Speaking of abortions. Cart! What? That makes no sense. That was fun. It didn't make it in the movie,
Starting point is 00:28:33 but one day we went with a bullhorn and just hung out outside a clinic. Wow. Just said, you're within your rights a lot. A lot of stuff like, it's still legal. Your body, you get to choose. Yeah, we weren't in,
Starting point is 00:28:53 which Dakota is it? We were in neither of the Dakotas, so we didn't have to worry about that. There should only be one Dakota. They each get two senators, they should call it the Dakota and they get a fucking mayor. And John Lennon
Starting point is 00:29:10 will get shot outside of it. It's a very specific reference. That's time for a segment I like to call Love Hate Like Hate Like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:27 People love, hate, like, hate, like it. I'm going to name a person involved in motion pictures, and then we're going to go down the line, each of you, in order. We'll go through each of these, love, hate, like, and hate, like, starting with love, because that's the best place to start.
Starting point is 00:29:44 You're all going to just name movies from this person that you can't look them up on the internet. I need to see the list of movies. Put your phone away. Put your phone away. Graham was so angered last night when the first
Starting point is 00:30:00 contestant, Zach, in Bethlehem, spelled with all E's. not the way I spell it Graham spelled it with an A on Twitter and got so much shit for it I was one of those shit givers yeah there you go and you shit give her I prefer caregivers but over shit givers but what was the point of the story? Oh, this guy, that guy, Zach, when he asked Graham to name the movie, he goes, name it, bitch. And Graham had never heard Chris Evans famously say, you know, Captain America famously said
Starting point is 00:30:35 on this show to Leonard Maltin, name it, bitch, which was like humorous in its inappropriateness. But then this guy was just like, name it, bitch. And I was like, and Graham was just like, who are you calling a bitch? Like he had no idea that it was a quote. Well, it didn't matter because I beat him. Yeah, you beat that bitch.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Yeah, suck it. How about that? Speaking of bitches, Riddick is the number one movie in the country It's the number one movie in the country right now I mean I don't know how many bitches are in it But I know how much I love Vinny D So Pitch Black is like the before midnight of franchises
Starting point is 00:31:21 Is that what this Every seven years there's a god damn weird Why are they remaking this? Well this time it was because last time they fucked up and put Judi Dench in it. So this one's Dench free. And also more violent
Starting point is 00:31:35 supposedly. They tried to go PG-13 the last time and this time they're like fuck it, let's go R. But I haven't seen it. Probably never will. But I have seen a lot of Vincent Q. Diesel movies. And I'm just guessing
Starting point is 00:31:51 on the middle initial. So I play this game too, but I can let you guys all go first. So we're going to start with Keith. What's a Vin Diesel movie that you love?
Starting point is 00:32:01 And you can pass once. I'm going to pass. He passes. He does not love he has no love there's no for vincent diesel movies not that i remember if i was looking at a list maybe i'd be able to think of one oh well you uh when i say the one i'm thinking of you'll agree with me yeah probably but what about you uh steve a movie i love yeah that has Vincent Diesel in it. Saving Private Ryan. Yeah! Caparzo, right?
Starting point is 00:32:28 Doesn't he play Caparzo? Yeah. It's a great movie, and I have a little issue with the bookend parts. I always think that it shouldn't have the flash forward. Really? You don't like that? That doesn't work for you? It's emotional. I know that,
Starting point is 00:32:40 but I just think it's such a great movie that they didn't need it. They didn't need it? I don't think. I mean, you know, Schindler's List, sure, put the rocks on the thing, but... That's how you sum up Schindler's List? Put the rocks on the thing! Private Ryan was not a real person.
Starting point is 00:33:02 I know, I know. It's not a real thing that happened. The war was certainly real. Do you think that was Spielberg's direction? Put the rocks on the thing. Steve, it's just something they were doing and he filmed it. He didn't have to tell them to do that.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Hey, what's with the fucking rocks? All right, everybody, make sure all the extras get a goddamn rock. Line them up. I hate to tell you, you're going to have to clean them off, man. You don't know
Starting point is 00:33:31 what the fuck that is. Preston, save us from this conversation. The only Vin Diesel movie that I love would be Saving Private Ryan. That's what I was thinking too, so I got to piggyback on that.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Yep. See what Graham has over here. The one that I love, I'm forgetting the title, but Sidney Lumet directed it. It's based on a true story of a mob guy that. Yep. See what Graham has over here. The one that I love, I'm forgetting the title, but Sidney Lumet directed it. It's based on a true story of a mob guy that defended himself. It's like... What's that?
Starting point is 00:33:52 Find Me Guilty. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Vin Diesel has full head of hair. There's no necromongers in it. It's really good. My love Vin Diesel movie is an animated film called The Iron Giant.
Starting point is 00:34:07 He's great in that. Now do you want to change your mind? Unfortunately it's on my Netflix queue. I haven't seen it yet. Oh dude you're going to love it. I've heard great things but I haven't seen it yet. So good. Yeah so that's mine. Brad Bird is one of the few filmmakers that has done no wrong to me.
Starting point is 00:34:26 I've loved everything he does, and I wish he would make more things, because he's great. Hate. What do you hate? You've got to hate something, Scott. Oh, yeah, there's so much. Scott. You've got to be hate being called Scott.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Keith, what do you hate? The pacifier. I saw like 30 minutes of that, and I just couldn't last long. That was written by a friend of mine. I'm sorry. No, he knows it sucks too. Was it Tom Lennon?
Starting point is 00:34:52 It was Tom Lennon. My friend might be stretching it. But I know him. And yeah, he wrote that. And oof, it's rough. It probably made a lot of money for him, like his book says. So, I mean, props to him.
Starting point is 00:35:06 It's a good family film, but I just hated it. I was watching Taxi yesterday that he also wrote with Robert Ben-Gurant and I was like, oh, well, there's a movie that they've written that turned out worse than The Pacifier. That movie's just crazy. I mean, I watched the whole thing, though, so I guess there must have been something good about it.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Steve? I hate the original Fast and Furious. I find it very annoying. I like some of the later ones, just because they're over the top, but it just annoys the fuck out of me. That's a polarizing opinion. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Good luck keeping your radio show. I know I went out on a limb with that one, but I have to. You just got fast fucked. Nobody talks that way about those movies. Gotta be true to me. Preston, just stay away from those Fast Five movies. All right, Triple X.
Starting point is 00:35:55 I thought it was a pretty lame movie. Yeah, yeah. I didn't like that one. It was so lame, they were like, let's get a black guy to fill in. Yeah, there was so much forced crap in it and some of the lines were really, really cheesy. Like it's amazing that there's a sequel that Vin Diesel didn't sign on for.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Yeah, exactly. And when are they going to do Pacifier 2? Ask your friend. I don't think he's going to write it. He's writing his own stuff. Hellbaby's doing quite well on video on demand. Graham, what do you got?
Starting point is 00:36:30 You know, I would probably have to say, even though I haven't seen it, is Riddick. I just hate that it exists. Did you see Chronicles of Riddick? Yeah, that's the movie I love. That's the movie I hate to love or whatever. We'll get there. What do you
Starting point is 00:36:49 just like? Is there one you just like or do you want to pass on that one, Scott Keith? Yeah. There's not been a lot of movies said yet, so I don't know without... Did we talk backstage about how I wanted to show the audience your name tag, and we decided that that's what we were going to do,
Starting point is 00:37:10 and then you came out here without it? But you showed... You were talking about the name tags. I didn't know. I'll go grab it for this. I just wanted to show everybody the work that you did, and I also wanted to get rid of you for a little bit. I'll go.
Starting point is 00:37:21 I'll knock my glass over and go. Is there one that you like just like that I just like pitch black pitch black is one that I wasn't terrible right it has some good moments
Starting point is 00:37:34 I think you know there are certainly things to recommend not a great movie but pretty good yeah Steve Steele
Starting point is 00:37:41 and mine I was thinking the exact same thing I thought pitch black was a decent a decent sci-fi flick and the riddick character at the beginning kind of that's where it caught on then they the video game came out i think the video games are actually better than any of the movies yeah yeah riddick escape from butcher bay is a motherfucker it's great and the plot is really really good better than the game better than than the movies. Graham? I like Fast
Starting point is 00:38:06 Six. I mean, I... The movie is brilliant. Five was better than Six. No. Really? I'm sorry. Does Five have a runway that's 12 minutes and 45 seconds long? Six is more fun for you to talk about and make fun of.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Fast Six is goddamn genius. The Rock wears one shirt throughout the whole movie. He's holding envelopes and flexing. He walks into the room and goes, lock it down! And no one moves. Nothing's happening. There's no reason to lock anything down.
Starting point is 00:38:38 You could just say, could you close that door? Yeah. People are working and everyone just kind of looks over their shoulder and they're like, huh? Lock it down! I wish that character would just yell that every room he walks into anywhere
Starting point is 00:38:50 anywhere like sir would you like an app lock it down like everywhere and Vin Diesel's got the greatest acting job on the planet
Starting point is 00:38:58 yeah he's got he's got two of them now I mean I don't know if there'll be more Riddick movies he just walks around family of them now. I mean, I don't know if there'll be more Riddick movies. He just walks around with his family. And then he runs up some steps.
Starting point is 00:39:16 I like, like, like. I very, very, very much like Saving Private Ryan, so that's my like. And then, what do you hate to like, if anything? I think I have something. Was it Fast Five, when he came back to the series and The Rock was introduced? Yeah. With, like, the bank and the
Starting point is 00:39:33 vaults scrolling down the street. Sure. That was the one where, clearly, innocent civilians that had nothing to do with their schemes and robberies and fast cars were getting murdered. And they're just all more concerned about themselves and their
Starting point is 00:39:49 quote-unquote family. Yeah, you're supposedly rooting for them. Police officers that are just doing their job. A giant safe is smashing into their car and ruining their lives and the lives of their families. Hey, shouldn't have been on the street that day, asshole. Yeah. Protect and serve.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Why don't you fucking stay home? Yeah. You signed up for this gig, bitch, so maybe take a couple of fast fives right in the bean. I'm trying to think of what group of people is going to be more upset by this show today. I guess law enforcement probably doesn't even listen to this show, but I respect them
Starting point is 00:40:25 sometimes I respect when they're not frisking me I respect them what do you got for your your
Starting point is 00:40:32 you hate that you like it I think it's called use your microphone knock around the knock around guys yeah yeah yeah you guys remain with that
Starting point is 00:40:40 yeah it's the unofficial sequel to Iron Giant yeah it's it's quirky it's fun it's not too bad Preston what do you think You guys remain with that? Yeah. It's the unofficial sequel to Iron Giant. Yeah. It's quirky. It's fun. It's not too bad.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Preston, what do you think? The original Fast and Furious. It's a cheesy movie, but something about it that I like. I mean, if you want the fast girls or hot chicks. Whatever. Hot chicks and fast cars. But I tell you what, the moment that I absolutely cringe the most in that movie is Michelle Rodriguez is about to race this guy, and he's revving the engine, and with each rev, he puckers his lips at her.
Starting point is 00:41:12 Oh, my God. It is absolutely... Do you know what I'm talking about? No, but I'm going to do it. Like he's blowing kisses at her. You're getting turned on. He probably also says chica at some point. Seems like a good nickname for her.
Starting point is 00:41:28 I heard she got a DUI while shooting that scene. While shooting that scene? Yeah. Graham, what's yours? Let's close this out. Mine is actually Knock Around Guys 2. Oh, okay. There was a sequel already?
Starting point is 00:41:43 Yeah. The second one where John Malkovich flies him to a different small town in the Midwest to fight for mob money or whatever they do. It was Knockin' 2,
Starting point is 00:41:51 Still Knockin'. Yeah. Yeah, Still Knockin'. Exactly. And the movie poster is them all fist bumping. Still Knockin'. Knock Around Guys.
Starting point is 00:42:06 I'm gonna fight you in a moment my hate that I like it is of course Fast Five and this has been love hate like hate like let's before we pick name tags
Starting point is 00:42:19 show them your name tag look at this thing you guys it's it's Keith David minus David Keith did I get the order guys. It's Keith David minus David Keith. Did I get the order right? Plus. But Keith David is first. I always get their names mixed up, and he's David Keith.
Starting point is 00:42:32 I think so, yeah. I think David Keith is the white one. Yeah, the white one is David Keith. So it's plus David Keith plus Keith David minus two the statue of David's divided by two equals, and then you found some weird-ass movie that's just called Keith
Starting point is 00:42:47 that I've never heard of starring Jesse McCartney and Elizabeth Han-Wa. Yeah, but that's his name tag. Clever. Signed by Graham Elwood and Doug Benson. Nice, he done. You gotta love long-form math.
Starting point is 00:43:05 It's exciting. The reason I wanted to keep this Romeo and Juliet thing is because I worked on a thing for MTV where they interviewed Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio and I got to write questions and sit there and watch them get interviewed
Starting point is 00:43:23 by somebody that wasn't me. I'm thinking that might be on here and I got to write questions and sit there and watch them get interviewed by somebody that wasn't me. I'm thinking that might be on here and I want to see it again. Good story, Doug. You know, the Eagles are going to be playing in about 24 hours so you need to There's no reason to drag this out. Do you think De Niro still sits around rooting for them in character?
Starting point is 00:43:47 I think so. Can't let some of those things go. The method, right? Yeah, yeah. Now is the time in the show when I say, let the games begin! Let the games begin! Gentlemen and Graham Elwood,
Starting point is 00:44:04 pick your name tags. All right. And we will be right back. And we're back! Yay! We're back and making a vine. So, Keith, show me your name tag And describe it to the listeners This is a big The Criterion collection
Starting point is 00:44:28 This is Spinal Cat And there's some cat faces On the heads of the members Of the band That's well done And the person's name is Cat? I'm hoping so Catherine?
Starting point is 00:44:40 Catherine? Okay Oh that's your name? Just straight up cat? Alright. Good for you. Shh. Daisy. Daisy Cat.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Quiet. I'm making a vine. Alright. Steve, what is this thing? What's this about? I am a huge fan of the movie Blackula, and this is Leilani. Is that Leilani? Is Blackula.
Starting point is 00:45:12 And it's simple to the point, but I can't help it. I'm a Blackula fan, so it wins. There you go. From out of the night comes a bloodsucker. Right. Deadlier than Dracula. How are you deadlier than Dracula?
Starting point is 00:45:24 He's more badass. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. He's Blackula. Do you remember the story? How he became? He was an African prince
Starting point is 00:45:31 who was bitten by Dracula because of his hubris. Whatever the hell that means. That's the best way to become Blackula because I'm sure that in the case of Dracula that was his name.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Yeah. But in the case of Blackula he had to reason to coin himself with that name. So when Dracula bit him, lightning struck. Yes. He'd already created a G line. Lightning struck.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Because that's a documentary. He got a movie crew out of it. And Preston. I like this. Has a giant P. It's a giant P. Greatest letter in the alphabet. Thank you very much. Preston has a has a giant P it's a giant P greatest letter in the alphabet
Starting point is 00:46:07 thank you very much Preston has a P alright so this thing is about I don't know it's about 18 inches high or something like that it looks
Starting point is 00:46:12 this had to have come from a business of some sort where did you steal this yeah what that's the first letter of a pizza sign
Starting point is 00:46:19 pizza pizza sign nice P is for pizza that's good enough for me. So this is Pat's P. Good job.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Yep. And now finally, what the fuck is Grant? What is that? It's a weird monkey with a crown. Yeah, it's a princess monkey. It's a weird monkey with a crown. Yeah, it's a princess monkey. It's Glinda. It's Glinda? Glinda.
Starting point is 00:46:47 Oh, the monkey has a name, named Glinda, but the person I'm playing for is named Rachel. So I picked weirdos. They had what she had on a comedy film nerd shirt. The other one had a palm strike shirt,
Starting point is 00:47:01 and I saw a crazy, crazy monkey. So I'm going to do ventriloquism all night. Hey, Glenda, what do you think of Philadelphia? I think it's great. What? That's a weird voice. Why do you sound like a Muppet?
Starting point is 00:47:16 I don't think the mic needs to go to the monkey's mouth when you do the ventriloquism. I don't know. That's weird. Yeah, that's the first step to the art of ventriloquism is the audience needs to hear both voices. Oh, all right. So you really have to say... Hey, Glenda, are you a big Doug Loves Movies fan?
Starting point is 00:47:39 Shut up, sinhead. Oh, wow. Glenda, why do you sound like Sanford and Son? Shut up, dummy. Why do you sound like all the characters from that show, apparently? Thank you, Preston, for holding up a microphone so we could hear.
Starting point is 00:47:59 That was a crazy illusion. The magic of live theater. Shut up, dummy. All right, you guys. Let's warm up with something I like to call the new game, a.k.a. the Seth Rogen game, a.k.a. IMDb, a.k.a. Last Man Stanton. And this is the game where I get to play along.
Starting point is 00:48:27 I'm a spoiler in the game. I might win. And we're going to get a name of a director or an actor or an actress with lots of credits. It has to be someone with lots of credits from an audience member. And then we're going to each take turns, starting with our honored new guest, keith moser it gets to
Starting point is 00:48:47 go first naming movies that person was involved in and if when you can't name one you're out and if we run out of names the last man stanton is the uh is the one who uh got the last one in before we ran out which happened with the coen Brothers recently. Wow. Which is very exciting. Me and the panel named every Coen Brothers movie. And just off the top of our heads, too, no cheating. Keep your phones in your pockets. And we need to get, who's the person in the audience that I've enjoyed? Oh, the young lady that I met on Twitter. What's your name?
Starting point is 00:49:21 What's your Twitter name? K the K? With underscores in there and stuff and Kay the K all right no one what are you in the clan no one's she's just two K's cuz she doesn't feel as strongly about it as she doesn't she gets suffocates with a head thing on she's not for white power just white equality so could you name uh one of those three things an actor actress or director that has a lot of films that they've done bill murray nice outstanding this is a great one standing this is a great one so This is a great one.
Starting point is 00:50:05 So Keith gets to pick from all the Bill Murray movies. Just name any Bill Murray movie. Ghostbusters. Okay, you could have taken one that is a little harder to think of. But, you know. Easy ones out. Okay, let's get the easy ones over with. Steve?
Starting point is 00:50:20 I'm not going to go easy. I'll go Razor's Edge. Oh, nice one. Yeah, see, that's good. Quick Change. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's good. Quick Change. Oh, awesome film. People love that movie. I never got into it, but I...
Starting point is 00:50:31 Hey! What? Wah, wah. Hey! Say? You got a lot of moxie, kid. I'm going to punch fuck you for that. Preston and Steve in the mornings, you guys. a moxie, kid. I'm going to punch fuck you for that. President Steve
Starting point is 00:50:48 in the mornings, you guys. WMMR 93.3. WMMR home of the punch fuck. I like that. Rock it down. 99.3. Your turn, Stally. A Little
Starting point is 00:51:08 Shop of Horrors. Oh, shit. That's a good one. Little Shop of Horrors. I'll go with Ghostbusters 2. You bastard. Caddyshack. What about Bob? Another one that people love
Starting point is 00:51:26 that it's not one of my favorites, but I do appreciate anything Bill Murray does. Stripes. Oh, nice. Like, stripes especially. When people start talking about, oh, but the last part
Starting point is 00:51:36 isn't as good. Fuck you. I love it all the way through. The great, what's his name, Warren? Buffett. Yes. The great, what's his name, Warren? Buffett. Yes. The great Warren Buffett.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Gene Harding. Finance stripes. Warren Oates. Yeah, Warren Oates. Which was the original title of Garfunkel and Oates. It sounded too Russian. Where are we at? We at Preston?
Starting point is 00:52:07 No. Graham. Graham, all the way down to Graham. What did Preston say? Stripes? Stripes. Okay, okay. Broken flowers.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Oh. That's a trouble. That's right, bitches. All right, if we're going to get into that kind of shit, coffee and cigarettes. Oh. Meatballs. Yeah. Perfect with Coffee and cigarettes. Oh. Meatballs. Yeah. Perfect with coffee and cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:52:29 It's a big old plate of meatballs. Oh, this is intense. Good. Zombieland. Yeah, of course. Nice. Good movie. One of the greatest cameos we've ever ruined right now. Groundhog Day. Of course!
Starting point is 00:52:48 Might be my favorite Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day. I will go Rushmore. Ooh, yeah. That opened up a real kettle of fish because I'm going to go with The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Oh! The Royal Tenenbaums. Yeah. Let's get them all. Tootsie. Ooh! I think we're getting into a weird area here. That's a great line.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Oh, I got a fucking good one. Oh, I'm so excited about the one I've got. Where we at? Me. P. I got it on the tip of my tongue. What up, P? Yo.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Three seconds. Two. One. I'm out. Oh. Sorry. Graham? Sorry, P. Graham? What's that that are you talking to people in the audience what are you doing over there these guys want to talk to Glinda I know
Starting point is 00:53:56 no I sound like Pat Elber we're gonna have a good time tonight. Okay, quit stalling. Quit stalling. What's that? What's a Bill Murray movie? Three, two, one. That one is out. I just blanked. God damn it. I'm going Mad Dog and Glory. Wow. Oh, God damn it. I'm going to say Lost in Translation.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Yeah, you are. Another one I like a lot. I just saw the movie poster in my head and I blanked on the goddamn title because I was thinking of riffs for the monkey. Don't worry, Rachel. I'll focus when it counts. This is like the Harlem Globetrotters
Starting point is 00:54:38 when they don't play for real. You know what I mean? I'm like, ah, ha, ha, and then they play for real. I can't let them do it. All right. What do you got, Steve? I know the movie.
Starting point is 00:55:03 I don't know the title. Oh, that's not, you can't. Let me see. Don. I don't know the title. Oh, that's not... You can't... Let me see. Don't say anything other than the title. Don't talk your way through it. What's it called? No, I...
Starting point is 00:55:16 Oh, you say you're out? Yeah, yeah. All right. I'm going to go with... I want to do, fuck. I know there's a few, yeah, right? I'm going to call three seconds on myself. Three, two, one.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Fuck, why can't I think of, Moonrise Kingdom. Oh, that's what I was trying to think of. Wow, wow. Damn it, I was sitting there going, what's his name either? But he was a voice in Fantastic of. Wow. Wow. Damn it. I was sitting there wondering what his name was. But he was a voice in Fantastic Mr. Fox. Yes, he was. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Oh, fucker What was the one with the elephant The man who knew too little Take your time That Darjeeling limited cameo Is he in it Audience saying yes He's Is he in it? Audience saying yes. He's got to be in it, right?
Starting point is 00:56:32 And, um... Fucking, what's the elephant one? It's something at large. Something about being large. Not Dumbo Drop. Dumbo Drop. I know it's hard to keep Dennis Leary and Bill Murray straight, but they're very similar.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Do you got one more? I think I'm out. Yeah, I don't know. Am I the last man standing? I think you're the winner. No, I think you win. Awesome. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Space Jam. He was in Space Jam. I've never seen that. You know what else we forgot? And what was the other one called? Ed Wood. Ed Wood. Ed Wood is great. face jam. I've never seen that. You know what else we forgot? What was the other one called?
Starting point is 00:57:07 Ed Wood. Ed Wood is great. Scrooge! How did we miss Scrooge? Holy shit. Anybody say what about Bob? Yeah, what about Bob got covered? Kingpin. Kingpin. Kingpin. He's just classic.
Starting point is 00:57:25 How the fuck did we miss Kingpin? How the fuck did they not yell that out the whole time? Congratulations. You idiots. You guys, your heads were exploding. We're at the Buffalo Realm. That's a great one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:40 He's had a wide and illustrious career. We get it. Thank you. Wow, that was fucking horrible. Wow, I listened to Doug Love's movies from Philly. It was just 40 minutes of people yelling Bill Murray Bill Murray titles in a very angry tone. John McCain didn't take more shit at a town
Starting point is 00:57:55 meeting in Arizona than we're getting for not remembering Bill Murray movies. He's at Santa Claus. That's what this town is known for. By the way, that is an overstated rumor. They raped him. Take that, Santa Claus.
Starting point is 00:58:17 Suck on my tasty cake, you cocksucker. Well, that's a fun game. And that's another thing I love about that game is people writing to me on Twitter to tell me the movies that we didn't get. Like, yeah, you know, when you're just sitting at home thinking about it, it's a fucking different game. But it's hard to come up with that stuff fast.
Starting point is 00:58:42 It is, yeah. Try doing it when you got a princess monkey on your lap, alright? That sounds like some weird addiction. I've got a princess monkey on my lap. Are you chasing the dragon? No, man. You've got that princess monkey on my lap.
Starting point is 00:59:01 I can't shake it, brother. I've been drinking drinking cosmopolitans morning or tonight I guess that's what it would be right was going to the good monkey a princess or just a witch what's that it's Glinda the good no he means why are you talking okay Wow Wow Touché. Shut up, dummy.
Starting point is 00:59:26 Nobody's been to no Thailand before you. We're just having fun. That was surgical. That was pretty impressive. Laser. I can't even get a straw in my mouth right now. May I have another vodka and soda if the lovely folks at Helium can hook me up with that? Are you good on your drink, Keith?
Starting point is 00:59:51 I think it's my yingling. Keith would like another yingling. I call it yungling because I don't know how to pronounce things. It's America's oldest beer. Yeah, well, I had a great time out in Lehigh last night. Especially everyone laughing at me for pronouncing it Lehigh. I guess.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Oh, Lehigh. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. All right. Oh, shit. Yeah. Let's quit fucking around. Get to it. Let's get serious.
Starting point is 01:00:31 I always get my ass kicked in this game. I'm going to try. I'll try hard for you. All right. Well, since you said that, we'll give you a little breathing room. All right. And we'll start with our winner of the last game, which is Keith. And then we'll go to
Starting point is 01:00:45 Graham and then to Preston and then to Steve Keith gets to pick the first category first person to two points wins whoever you're playing for gets all that stuff all the prizes let me find where we have some new categories
Starting point is 01:01:00 at Citizen Schwartz suggested it puts the motion in the casket it puts the motion in the casket. It puts the motion in the casket. And that is movies where a vampire has sex. You know Blackula did. Ah, sick. Yeah. No pre-guessing.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Or celebrating a birthday today, the great Martin Freeman Ah, sick. Yeah. No pre-guessing. Or celebrating a birthday today, the great Martin Freeman from The Office TV show in the British version. He's been in a ton of movies. Always does a great job. So let's hear it for him. Woo!
Starting point is 01:01:39 Category probably won't get picked. And then, at I Hear Ramona sing, suggested The Dogfather. And The Dogfather is movies that have a dyslexic character in them. Wow. The D-O-double G.
Starting point is 01:01:58 I like it. Which one of those would you like to play? The vampire motion in the casket. Okay. Or whatever. Yeah. Two stars from Leonard for this movie that has a vampire having sex in it.
Starting point is 01:02:15 The year is 2011. He says about this movie that it's slow-paced, that it's boring, and... Oh, look at that. That's a yingling. Oh, and there's my vodka. Thank you so much. Ah.
Starting point is 01:02:36 One more clue. I'll find it, I swear to you. No, that's enough. 2011, two stars? Yeah, has a vampire, has sex in it, and he lists 19 names. How many names do you think you can get it in?
Starting point is 01:02:57 I'm going to go 19 names. Keith of Bethlehem says 19 names. And thank you for wearing those swaddling clothes. I will go 16. 16? 16 names.
Starting point is 01:03:14 16. Sweet 16. Never been kissed. I don't like Graham holding that thing. I also don't care for his name tag. Her eyes are so scary. You just played a game, Demi. People don't know this, but Preston used to Steve with Jeff...
Starting point is 01:03:37 Steve? That's great. Preston used to Steve. Yeah. No, Preston used to tour with Jeff Dunham, and he was in charge of putting the mic in the face of the puppet. It's a skill. How many names can you get in, Preston?
Starting point is 01:03:54 I'm going to say 12. All right, Big P. I'll say 10. Steve says 10. This is a competitive bunch. Nine. No, you're going to need to bid. You can't say no in German.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Nueve. Nice. Oh, you changed it? What? He went from nine to eleven? Nueve. No, he had ten. Oh, it's nine.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Yeah, we're down to nine. Nueve means nine. In English, goddammit! None of this foreigner bullshit. He said Nueve, not 11-0. Well, I think you're gonna need to name that movie, young man. He gets nine names? Yeah, out of 19, he's got a lot of work.
Starting point is 01:04:46 No, he's gonna know it. No, he's not. I just have to say one thing. I'm a stickler for exact titles. And your nine names... That's a good hint, thank you. I'm not such an idiot now, am I? You're right. That's not why you didn't...
Starting point is 01:05:03 You did that. Now, the nine names are Jamie Campbell Bauer. That's one name, not three. Michael Welch. Boo Boo Stewart. Boo Boo. Boo Boo.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Because when people are watching the movie, they're like, let's boo boo. Julia Jones. Gil Birmingham. The great Gil Birmingham. uh julia jones gil birmingham the great gil birmingham christian carango wow so we still got three more names dude sarah clark anna kendrick and michael sheen the movie is called oh uh 2011 wow i'm gonna go Anna Kendrick You can do it Fuck I hate these books so much
Starting point is 01:05:54 Alright the Twilight Saga Colon Shit. I'm going to go New Moon. Dude, I thought you had it. I really did. I don't think they were calling him Twilight Saga yet at New Moon. I think it was just Twilight New Moon. But that's neither here nor there.
Starting point is 01:06:27 This one was called Breaking Dawn Part 1. And it's the one where Edward and Bella get their fuck on. That's like... I forgot the category. That's when I make that freak wolf baby. So Glinda the Good Monkey is on the board. Ba-boom! So I guess I'm not such an idiot So Glinda the Good Monkey is on the board. Boom, boom!
Starting point is 01:06:46 So I guess I'm not such an idiot with the nine names. Little fucking mumbling from Beth Laham. That's right. Graham Elwood, the angriest winner. It's the puppet. It's between him and Sam. The puppet's angry. I'm happy.
Starting point is 01:07:04 It's like Trilogy of Terror with that puppet. It's between him and Sam. The puppet's angry. I'm happy. It's like Trilogy of Terror with the puppet. It is. Glenda, why are you so angry? Shut up, man. Get another point. Oh, stop being so mean. All right. So since Graham got the point and he was the one that did the challenging,
Starting point is 01:07:23 we're going to start with Preston and then go to Graham. So Steve, you still get a little more breathing room. Thank you. You're welcome. You're going to come out smelling like a rose. It's the idea. Pick a category Preston. At XX Goots. G-O-O-T-S
Starting point is 01:07:40 and then another XX. What? You shouldn't be submitting categories. You should be working on that Twitter handle. But Goots suggested The Liberty Bell since we're in Philadelphia, and that's movies where someone does crack. Brilliant.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Yeah. And at The Robert Main, M-A-I-N, The Robert Main M-A-I-N The Robert Main He suggested stuff before that have gotten on the show And this time is another good one He suggested Shut the fuck up Donnie And that's movies where Steve Buscemi dies
Starting point is 01:08:21 I gotta go with the Liberty Bell man You get a third choice Steve Buscemi dies. I gotta go with the Liberty Bell, man. You get a third choice. Oh, I get a third choice. A third choice. All right, bring it up. Your third choice, you'll probably still go with Liberty Bell,
Starting point is 01:08:36 but your third choice is The Spectacular Now, and that's movies that are in theaters now that got better than 80% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah. That is new. New-ish. We've done it once, I think. No, I've got to go with the Liberty Bell. All right, Liberty Bell.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Absolutely. That's right. You've got to go Philly. You know where your bell is buttered. Would you like a movie that has someone, at least one person, maybe there's a whole football field of people doing it, but there's crack
Starting point is 01:09:08 is consumed in a movie from either 1992, 2004, or 2011. 92. That is an interesting pick. Usually people don't go that way. Two stars.
Starting point is 01:09:24 1992. Leonard says about this movie that it has a cameo by Jesus in it. And he calls it pretentious. And I mean, I guess that would have gone hand in hand with the cameo by Jesus. Jesus, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:51 And he also calls it over the top, and he lists a whopping six names. How many names do you think you can get in this movie where someone does crack, does not necessarily take place in Philadelphia. Well, I gotta go with six names. Yeah, take them all. Six names.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Graham? No yelling out, please, sir. I will go... Sounds like he's just trying to pay his bill. With movie titles? Yeah, he asked for some quick change. Doug Benson, ladies and gentlemen.
Starting point is 01:10:31 I will go four names. Oh, my. What do you think of that, Keith? I'm thinking he might not be able to do it, but if he does, he wins the game. Oh, yeah game Big gamble chief So if I were you I'd just Go ahead and bid lower
Starting point is 01:10:49 Maybe I don't know it That monkey is so scary Maybe I wanted to say five But I said the wrong number You have established yourself To be that big of an idiot I'm very stupid I'm very stupid.
Starting point is 01:11:07 I'm wearing women's underwear. I wrote Zach on the CD you won in Bethlehem. Even though you're like, hey, Keith. I'm like, hey, you got it, Zach. I got an idea. Three names. Yeah. Way to go, Zach.
Starting point is 01:11:24 Zach is back. And now finally, Steve Morrison gets to play. I'll say name that movie. Yeah, there you go. Nice. Smart. You get three names, dude. You think you have an idea what it is?
Starting point is 01:11:36 No, I just didn't want Graham to get the point. Oh, okay, good. See, that's the strategy I've heard. That's what I would have done. That's what I keep fucking up. Two stars. Somebody does crack. It's over the top.
Starting point is 01:11:45 It's a couple other things. Jesus. Jesus has a cameo. And your three names are Leonard Thomas, Paul Calderon, and Victor Argo, who has often been told to go fuck himself. So, yeah, I don't know how helpful those three names are. But if you name a movie from around 92 that had crack in it, then you might be in business.
Starting point is 01:12:11 So many options to choose from. There were a lot of crack films in 92. I don't even know any movie that has crack in it. I'll say Reality Bites. I think that's their other name. They're young. Remember when they were smoking crack? It's interesting you say that.
Starting point is 01:12:26 It's because behind the scenes they were. Ben Stiller has said that he was on crack the entire time. They're actually remaking it now. They're in negotiations to remake it. They're making it into a TV series. Oh, is that what? Yeah, it's going to be a TV show. Yeah, Ben Stiller's going to produce it.
Starting point is 01:12:40 Or executive produce it. He'll come by every once in a while and go, that looks good. Can I take a stab at it? Since he got it wrong? I have a feeling stab at it? Since he got it wrong? I have a feeling. Oh, you think he got it wrong? Yeah, I think he did. You're right.
Starting point is 01:12:52 Is it New Jack City? No, it isn't. Jesus isn't in that. I was going to say Superstar. Oh, what's that? Because Will Ferrell plays Jesus in it. Was that 2000? That's much later
Starting point is 01:13:05 Is it Colors? We can stop guessing We got a game to finish The movie's called Bad Lieutenant Oh, no colon Yeah, no colon Port of Call, New Orleans or any of that Nonsense, it's just straight up Bad Lieutenant
Starting point is 01:13:23 I guess I should have given a more giveaway clue like this movie features somebody masturbating in front of a nun. Who's just sitting in a car minding her business. Pulls her over and jerks off. Okay, so that means
Starting point is 01:13:40 that what just happened? Steve got the point. How about that? Steve got the point. Oh, Steve got a point. Steve got a point. How about that? Yeah, Steve. How about it? Steve got the point. I'm learning. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:48 Nice. Once he finally got in the game, he took it down. And so that means that since he challenged you, that we're going to start with Preston and then go to Steve. Yeah. Okay. So Preston gets to pick. Between a really fun category we do sometimes called Asparagus Pee.
Starting point is 01:14:09 Since you're holding a big pee, that's a good time to do it, I think. And that's where, if you'd pick this category, I read the entire review, and everybody pretty much knows what the movie is if they're not Pete Holmes. Although actually, recently, there was another movie where I thought everyone should know what it was, and Jon Hamm and Sam Levine didn't even know what it was, so sometimes I get it wrong. But in this case,
Starting point is 01:14:33 I think you guys will know what it is. And then it just becomes a game of negative names, how many names you think you can name from the movie. Or at Sardonic Brian suggested Asparagus Pete Pete and that's movies that have actors from The Devil Wears Prada.
Starting point is 01:14:51 Which was the film that Pete did not recognize after it was described in its entirety. And your third choice, suggested by All Wasted Hours, is The Artist and that's movies about painters. And you can imagine how exciting the answer could be to that one.
Starting point is 01:15:13 I've never stood up and cheered at a movie about a painter. I'm going to go with Asparagus Pete. Okay. I'm going to go with the one... What was that about again? These are actors from... Oh, Devil Wears Prada. It's got an actor from Devil Wears Prada in it, which, you know, of course,
Starting point is 01:15:34 starred Emily Blunt and Stanley Tucci. Uh-huh. Yep, those were the only two. Those are my favorites. Adrian Grenier. Yeah, yeah. Oh, two. Those are my favorites. Adrienne Grenier. Yeah, of course. Yeah, maybe the answer is Entourage the movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:52 But anyway, Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, you know the drill. And this particular movie got three stars from Leonard. It's from 2008. He calls it cheerful. He calls it cheerful, and he also says that this movie seemingly has four or five finales, but then he admits after an ellipsis that they're all fun. It's got four or five fun finales in it, if you like F-words. And he lists eight names.
Starting point is 01:16:25 Wow. How many names can you get it in? What year was that again? Preston Elliott. The year is 2008. Hmm. All right. Yeah, I'll start with eight names.
Starting point is 01:16:39 You're the best player this game has ever seen. Because you don't let your ego get in the way. You don't let pride get in the way. You're just like, I'll fucking take all the names. So then we go to Steve. Name that movie. You learned how to play the game. Wow!
Starting point is 01:17:00 I finally got it. Oh, there's going to be some bad blood tomorrow morning, you guys, on 983.3. Gunfight at 6 a.m. Is that when you start? Stevie might have just taken the win here. No, he's good. He's good. Somebody doesn't think he's good.
Starting point is 01:17:25 Hey, Graham, Graham, a little side bet? You don't think he's going to get it with eight names? I don't think he's going to get it with that. I mean, he's a self-admitted, like, he doesn't know that much about movies. Right. He does, though. And he knows him. Like, Steve knows his... I got five bucks on Steve.
Starting point is 01:17:40 All right. Okay, that's a bet. You're matching it? Yeah. All right. Match. Match. Match bet.
Starting point is 01:17:44 Do you have it on you Because I do not trust you Well I'm gonna need to borrow it I might not see you again Yeah I've got the money Next Saturday we're gonna be In St. Louis Sunday we'll be in Milwaukee
Starting point is 01:17:55 Yeah I don't know If I'll have it then either No You better You better pay up I'm not even gonna Give you the clues again That's how confident I am
Starting point is 01:18:04 That I just won Five bucks from Graham. Here's the money. No rumbling in the audience. Oh, here it is. Put it on the table. Money plays. Your eight names
Starting point is 01:18:18 are Christine Baranski, Amanda Seyfried, Dominic Cooper, Julie Waters, Stellan Starsgard, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, and Meryl Streep. And the movie is called... Wait a minute. You rattled those off a little fast, dog.
Starting point is 01:18:37 Hang on a second. Give him time to process it. 2008. Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, and Meryl Streep. Give him more. Give him more. Give him more? Give him all the names over again. Stellan SkarsgÄrd, Julie Waters, Dominic Cooper, Amanda Seyfried.
Starting point is 01:18:54 Yeah, I got the names. I'm just trying to think what the clue was. Read the clues again. It has four or five finales, and they're all fun, and it's cheerful. It's from 2008. Three stars. Fuck. Yeah, and they're all fun, and it's cheerful, and it's from 2008, three stars. Fuck. Yeah, I know, all right?
Starting point is 01:19:10 I know. I wish that Leonard Maltin called a movie called Fuck cheerful. Rachel, I tried so hard for you. Come get your stupid money, Graham. I'm thinking it's a musical. Am I right about that? Well, musicals
Starting point is 01:19:28 are fun. Alright, hold on. Hold on. God, you guys are going to kill me. Oh, wait. Yes, I know. It's that fucking ABBA movie. Oh. Hold on. Hang on. Hang on.
Starting point is 01:19:49 You're distracting me. Let him think. Let him think. Let him think. Quiet. All right. It's a shame you don't play the ABBA on WMMR. To title one of their songs, it's not Waterloo, it's...
Starting point is 01:20:07 Come get your money, girl. Because all I'm hearing right now is Waterloo. It's called Mamma Mia. Mamma Mia. Almost had it. So close. Congratulations, Graham. Rachel, I'll give you this five bucks.
Starting point is 01:20:20 Sorry, Pat. And that means Steve is our winner. Thank you. thank you so much so it's really not about movie knowledge it's about being an asshole yeah
Starting point is 01:20:36 believe me I'm on 12 Christmas two times in a row for being a fucking asshole yeah just pass it. Don't get yourself
Starting point is 01:20:46 in that position. That's right. But giving him all the names, that's ballsy. I can't believe Leonard Malt gave that three stars, though. What should he have given it? Like a fucking middle finger?
Starting point is 01:20:56 Right, yeah. Should he have given it a picture of cats fucking? Yeah, yeah, I like that. I don't know what that means I'm too drunk it's a good thing this is over but congratulations
Starting point is 01:21:12 thank you is that the first time you've won that is the first time I've ever won yeah there you go hey come on now thank you
Starting point is 01:21:19 and I didn't want to say this at the beginning but there's a little boy in the hospital who asked me to win tonight. He might have passed already, but I hope he got to... Well, maybe you'll bury him in those prizes
Starting point is 01:21:36 that your contestant won. Yeah. Let's give the prizes to Blackula. Yes. There we go. Do you want the shitheads? Everything? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:50 Yeah. You get everything except for Romeo and Juliet. I apologize. There you go. Congratulations. Come on, big winner. I mean, do you want the Romeo and Juliet thing? Do you care?
Starting point is 01:22:10 She kind of wants it. You can have it. I feel bad. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait, wait. You got to get the panties. No, that she doesn't want. That she's good with you hanging on to those.
Starting point is 01:22:26 Dude, if you take those off, the Eagles might not win tomorrow night. Who's booing me taking them off? Because it's just, men taking off their underwear is never sexy. I know, it's caught on my shoe. There's nothing good about it. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:43 Toss it to her. Oh, yeah. Ioss it to her. Oh, yeah. I'm a reverse Tom Jones. She's totally inhaling it right now. She's totally... That's right. Smells like fucking gluten-free palm strikes. Graham, I know you have to run out
Starting point is 01:23:00 to the merch table because you've got Comedy Film Nerds books and palm strike shirts. Yeah, yeah. We'll all be be out there for anybody who wants them does this have a head on the back yes it does oh i know i feel weird just touching it wow what a weird thing hey oh stop kissing oh you stop kissing me with it oh now i got marijuana all up in my grill Now I got marijuana all up in my grill. I've been violated by a dumbest stoner.
Starting point is 01:23:35 Nice mic work, Keith. I try. Graham Elwood, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for being out there. You guys are great. I got the shithead that was on a post-it on the back. Does yours have a shithead on it? I don't think so, no. I didn't see anything.
Starting point is 01:23:52 Cat, you got a shithead? Come up here. Yeah, we need your shithead, Cat. Anything you want. We yell it. No, you don't yell it. It's a secret that's going to be revealed in a minute. It's a secret for the next...
Starting point is 01:24:04 But we could still... You've heard the show, right? Yeah. I'm sorry! Here, let her through there, you guys, if you can. Oh, yeah, just write it on there. Just scribble it on there. Oh, look at that guy.
Starting point is 01:24:17 Front row pen master. While she's doing that, Preston, does your pee have a shithead on the back? Yes. Don't say it aloud. Don't say it. Just pass it down. It reads, oh, I give it to you?
Starting point is 01:24:31 Yeah, yeah. Sorry, but there's a little note ahead of time for a contestant. Oh, yeah, they explain it to you. People are very good about that. Oh, okay. Interesting one. And, all right. She put a smiley face after it.
Starting point is 01:24:47 It's a pleasant shit head. I'm going to say smiley face after I say it. President Steve, besides WMMR here in Philadelphia and a podcast that people can listen to, anything else pressing that you want to plug or talk about? Well, we have the Daily Rush now. There's a video that is up every day. We're putting together, potentially over the long
Starting point is 01:25:08 run, a half-hour TV show that's a best-of of the segments we do during the week. But you can check everything out on PressThisTeam.com and the streaming, the podcast. Anything else I'm missing? Oh, it's tomorrow. Well, we're doing the
Starting point is 01:25:23 Battle of the Counties. Yeah, Delco versus Bucksco. So, a couple of passionate counties in the Philadelphia region. Are they still yelling out Bill Murray movies? Yeah. Osmosis Jones! Oh my god, yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:45 I'm going to be kicking myself for weeks over random. What was the one where you just played President, what's his name? Hyde Park.
Starting point is 01:25:55 Yeah. Hyde Park on Hudson. That's why I can't remember it because it's like the title is boring. Yeah. And you go see the movie and it's confirmed. Makes Gosford yeah and you go see the movie and it's
Starting point is 01:26:05 confirmed makes gosford park look like a great redemption right oh i thought of another fucking one get low oh yeah this is a crazy game you guys i can't wait to play it again and uh you've got your uh improv long form improv troupe in bethleh Yeah, if you're in the Lehigh Valley, Lehigh. Lehigh. Next Tuesday and Wednesday night, I think the 17th, 18th, we've got some shows. Check us out on Facebook and Twitter. 4 a.m. in Thailand. Go see Keith Moser do long-form improv, you guys.
Starting point is 01:26:35 Thank you. Do you want your Linda back? Yeah, get that thing back to her. Yeah, I don't want to take this home with me at all. This is scary as fuck. And you never let me down, Philadelphia. I'll come back next year. And one more time for all of my guests,
Starting point is 01:26:56 Graham Elwood out in the lobby, Preston and Steve, Keith Moser, Keith Moser And as always Elvira Gulch is a shithead Isn't that like the name of the Witch in Wizard of Oz maybe? Yeah she's a
Starting point is 01:27:18 She's a shithead that goes without saying though Professional wrestler Triple H is a shithead. And Michael Vick's smiley face is a shithead.

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