Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood, Preston & Steve, and Keith Moser Guest
Episode Date: September 8, 2013Live from Philadelphia's Helium Comedy Club, Doug welcomes Graham Elwood, WMMR's Preston Elliot and Steve Morrison, and Leonard Maltin Game winner Keith Mozer to the show.See Privacy Policy a...t https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
Until minutes ago I lived in darkness Hey, everybody.
Until minutes ago, I lived in darkness.
I meant to say seconds.
They just turned the lights on.
So good to see everybody.
It's so much more helpful for me if I can see what I'm doing up here.
Let me get my little prepared comments out and get this thing going.
Are you guys ready?
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is God Loves Movies!
A few of you got off the rails,
but most of you were right on, right on schedule.
Coming to you once again from Helium Comedy Club
on Sunday,
September 8th,
Two Oceans 13.
It's the 8th, right?
Let me see your name tags,
Philadelphia.
There's a giant,
Corey with his giant fork,
her giant fork.
Sorry, Corey.
You know, movies.
I assume all Corey's are men.
Bob Roberts is a movie.
And you wrote that on a piece of paper.
Is that your actual name, Bob Roberts?
Depends who you're talking to.
Okay.
Bob Roberts.
This guy.
Why did I start talking to the most boring-looking name tag?
Like he would have something interesting to say.
Like, look over there, a Doug's life.
It's like a bug's life.
And is your name Doug?
Yeah, there you go.
I didn't know if you were sucking up to me,
which is not worth doing
because I don't pick the name tags.
What's this crazy goblet right in front of me?
It used to be a gumball machine.
It used to be a gumball machine
and now it's something you're just holding up randomly.
Look, I have a thing.
Why don't you just fucking hold up your beer?
That'd have a better chance of getting picked.
I'm so mean.
Shaun of the Dead, you didn't do shit to that
because your name is dead.
I love a Darth Vader mask
with just Tina taped on it.
Like, he would have been a lot less threatening
if he had a post-it that said Tina on his forehead.
Alright, well, there's so many
name tags. This is one of the best cities for
name tags, or I should say areas,
because a lot of you guys come in from other
places, and
thank you guys so much for
participating and bringing the name tags.
In Los Angeles, the name tags are getting
very sparse, and it's disturbing
to me. On September 17th, I'm doing a huge show there, amazing guests.
And if there's only five people and they all have former gumball machines,
I'm going to call myself the shithead at the end of that episode
for giving them a free show almost every Tuesday.
I'm not going to be there this Tuesday, because I'm going to be in Yonkers, New York,
interrupting Cabin Fever on its 10th anniversary
at the Alamo Draft House.
They've got booze there, I think,
so come get shitty while I talk shit.
And my other two shows in New York City are sold out,
so come to Yonkers, is what I'm trying to say.
Great guests here in Philadelphia, as always,
because you guys know probably what's going on today,
because we've been talking about it at the Bethlehem show last night
and on the radio.
But in the prize bag, we have my two most recent CDs.
Also, Doug Diggs' A a copy of Up in the Air
on DVD.
I love Up in the Air.
I love that movie. It's not just because
it has
past and future guests, Anna Kendrick
and Zach Galifianakis in it.
It's just a great movie. I mean, maybe I love
it because I travel so much.
I keep waiting for Sam Elliott to
sit next to me on a plane
and just
twirl his mustache and talk to me about
what a great flyer I am.
We've got a book here that you guys
are probably familiar with. Let's get my guests out here.
Give a big, warm welcome to
Graham Elwood, Preston and Steve, and
Keith Moser. Rosa!
Thank you, thank you. It's very tight up here today,
and I think it's mostly because my table is taking up so much room,
so I'm just going to move that down a little bit,
scooch down.
Everybody can get a little bit more breathing room.
I know how dudes love to sit as close as possible to each other.
My pet peeve lately when I'm flying is when I'm on an aisle
and there's a couple that sit in the middle and the window,
they treat me like I'm going to attack her or something.
And they protect her by putting her in the window.
And then her big stupid boyfriend's got his big stupid arms on me for the entire flight.
I'm like, why can't you put Tiny next to me so I can enjoy this one for once?
I don't know why I'm saying that.
I'm just sick of it. Am I right, Graham Millwood?
Yes, you are. I'm doing a selfie. Graham's big pet peeve when we're flying is the person that's sitting behind you that has to use your chair to get up out of their chair. How
the fuck hard is this move? Look what I'm doing. No hands. Stand up. Boom. Press it
up. Bam. You don't have to do
this fucking...
Get the fuck off my
thing. It's not a goddamn jungle gym.
Get the fuck off my thing. So articulate.
I went to college. Hey. What?
State school. State school. Let's get this out of the way right away, Graham. You know, you always have a ton of plugs. Let's just do it. Let's just do
it right now. L.A. Podfest is almost upon us. Yes, we're one month away. October 4th through 6th.
We have someone wearing a Podfest shirt in the front row. I think you were there last year.
You're coming again this year.
Yeah, go to lapodfest.com.
Just a million podcasts over one weekend in one hotel.
You really truly get to mingle with everyone.
Like you can go up to Marc Maron and go,
what's your problem?
Yeah.
Why are you such a weirdo?
Yeah, just walk up to Jimmy Pardo
and go, bag of corn, friend?
You can do whatever you want.
And we're having a closing night party
that's sponsored by MailChimp
that's going to be free food and drinks.
We're having live band karaoke.
Aw, shit, you heard that right.
I will be singing Bon Jovi.
I will be singing some Bon Jovi, for sure.
There will be a wanted...
I want you dead, not alive.
And... And my band, the Whistling Banes,
they're going to be there.
Oh, no.
Brilliant.
Yeah, yeah.
So come out to L.A. Podfest.
I just had an idea.
It's probably too late now,
but next year Preston
and Steve should come out and do their podcast.
Yes you should.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Because Preston Elliott
and Steve Morrison are here you guys.
Thank you.
They are back
from their very wildly popular here in Philadelphia show,
Preston and Steve on WMMR every morning, weekday mornings.
You know, let's not get crazy.
Yeah.
No, you guys have to work every morning from now on.
Right, yeah.
But last time we did the show here, you guys were not on.
Casey from your show was on.
Yeah.
Casey boy.
Did he do a good job?
We heard he did a great job.
Yeah, he did a great job.
He'll never be back, but he was good.
By the way, when I tell him that, he's going to slit his wrist.
Oh, my God.
No.
He's got the shakiest.
Won't handle it.
No, he's a great guy.
It was a great show.
I mean, you know, what are you going to do?
When Bert Kreischer's around, all the oxygen is gone.
Casey was just
sucking at the air, hoping to get
out anything. But he was
great.
But another guy on your show, Nick,
whose last name is Llewellyn?
McElwain.
Llewain? McElwain.
Except in my phone, I never knew how to spell
it, so it comes up Nick McWhatthefuck.
Auto-correct is so dirty.
You've been waiting to say that on your show for years.
And I can't.
Now you can finally swear.
I sort of say it.
But anyway, that's the thing.
The point of my story is I don't know his last name, never have.
It's always just Nick from Preston and Steve.
You know, I barely know Preston and Steve's last names.
So when I said his
name, I was like, Nick McElwain is
a shithead. I was like, who's that? Who cares?
Must be somebody's buddy or something.
Because if I'd have known
that it was that Nick, I would have said, hey, come on.
He's not so bad.
But I want you to tell him on Monday
that, like, the next time we come through town,
could you like to switch it up, you know?
Sure.
We should have Nick on next time.
Absolutely, he'd love to.
He's a good guest.
He's actually very jealous.
Yeah, he's been on Comedy Film Nerds.
Yep, yep.
Yeah.
All right, cool.
That's about that.
And, uh, Keith Moser is here, you guys.
And, uh...
A lot of Moser fans here tonight?
The Moser army is here?
People are into the Mos, man.
You defeated Graham Elwood last night quite handily. Easy.
Easy, quite handily.
It was open water
and he said zero names
because no one knows
the two actors in that movie.
But I'm sure the actor's parents
know their names.
Barely.
I don't know.
I think their parents are like...
They're both dead.
They died in that movie.
But their parents are probably like,
I don't want to watch that shark film.
So they don't even know the name of the movie
that their kids were in.
Yeah.
Shark film.
Shark film.
That's what they should have called it.
It would have made another two or three million dollars.
Fuck yeah.
It would have sold out.
Yeah.
Release it at Shark Week.
There was a sequel to that.
Opener Water.
And I think the idea was everyone,
the sailboat goes out,
and everyone goes for a dip,
not realizing that someone should
probably stay on the boat.
That's how they all end up getting stranded in the
water and that's how they die. Have you seen it?
No, what's it called? Open Water 2.
That's what it said.
Now that we know the ending, we don't need to watch it.
This probably pertains to number one.
Open Water 2, colon, what the fuck.
Dude,
you were supposed
to stay on the fucking boat.
lessons,
open water two,
colon,
lessons not learned.
I kid you not though,
I think that's the,
correct me if I'm wrong,
but I think that's the plot.
They all get into the water
not realizing
someone should be there
to help them.
Well,
it has to be more people.
Yeah,
with the sequel,
it has to be more people.
Like Human Centipede, they added a couple people for the sequel. You know, it's there to help him. Well, it has to be more people. Yeah, with a sequel, it has to be more people. Like Human Centipede, they added a couple people
for the sequel.
You know, it's got to be bigger.
I think you're right.
More disgusting.
And, but so, so Keith beat Graham by,
but you know, he controlled the board, basically.
He picked Roe versus Wade,
which is movies with one or more people stranded at sea.
And then, yeah, everyone had a good laugh over that
because there's nothing funnier than abortion.
It's always funny.
It's always hilarious.
Have you been to the clinics?
Oh, we got to do a DLM at the clinics.
We got to do it.
It's going to be so funny.
They would love it.
Totally take their mind off of it,
except for this category.
And,
um,
so I don't think this podcast would take their mind off of that event.
He picked the category,
he picked the year.
And then,
uh,
so he narrowed it down.
He knew you knew it was open water.
I was hoping,
and I knew it was early two thousands and the description,
the cinematographer,
director,
writer.
Yeah.
And Leonard only listed two names. So, so uh plus there was a huge disparity there was like 1944
1990 and then 2004 so if it was like 2002 and 2004 there might be like which then you wouldn't
sure if it was open water but 90 was clearly what joe versus the volcano i swear to god you two guys
are the only fucking people on the planet
that would have narrowed that down
to open water
based on clues like,
his wife also worked on it
and filmed it.
Like, it was,
you guys really honed in.
Like, you really,
both are very familiar with that.
A small independent movie.
Right.
I really wanted to be here, Doug.
Yeah.
He fought for it.
But you had heard Roe vs. Wade
as a category on the show before, right?
And so you already started running through your head
movies where that happens.
Kind of, yeah. I figured Open Water was the only one
that really came to mind.
Oh, there's more. There was one in 1944.
I remember.
And one in 1990. I don't know.
Yeah, well, they'll be back.
I can't throw out that category.
Because it gets such a huge laugh every time I say it.
And that's what we're here for.
Is for the comedy.
But Keith brought some prizes for tonight.
Would you like to describe them?
Sure, yeah.
I brought William and Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
Music edition by Baz Luhrmann.
Fantastic movie.
What does that mean, music edition?
It has some special features I think I saw
on the back. Can I keep this? Sure.
I'm going to hang on to this one.
This one's not going in the bag.
That's messed up.
You watch it, view it, and give it away in LA.
That's a good plan. I'll watch it and give it away
because there's no reason for it to sit on a shelf.
Speaking of sitting on a shelf, I found this
blockbuster all time favorite movies and music.
What does that even mean?
Blockbuster the store.
The store that used to exist in the 1990s put out this book.
Thank God that the book still exists.
It probably has a copyright of like 2000, so there's no recent movies in there.
But I was looking at it when I brought it down.
It seems like a fun Leonard Maltin type game, but no stars.
But it's the most pointless guide.
It's horrible. Because Block it's the most pointless guide because because the poster was the most pointless story yeah but they don't take us they don't take
an opinion about anything they just list a few actors and then the director like these are
favorites so there's no favorites so they're all favorites boys on the side what a great movie
what a fantastic tale of
actresses that
are on the side.
On the side of the boys.
Doesn't someone get violently hit
with a baseball bat in that movie?
I think so.
Boys on the side?
Yeah, I think so.
I think there's a serious beating in that movie.
I could be making it up. Are you the one with Rosie and Adam? I think there's a serious beating in that movie. I don't know.
I could be making it up.
Are you thinking of Boys Don't Cry?
No, that wasn't with a bat.
That was just more sexual abuse, right?
Sexual, yeah.
Yeah, they tore her clothes off and laughed at her genitalia.
Right, yeah.
I mean his clothes.
So, what else you got?
I just have these stickers.
I'm in an improv group Up in Bethlehem
Called 4AM in Thailand
So I figured I'd plug them
On the podcast
Stickers that say
4AM in Thailand
Yeah
We're on Facebook and Twitter
So if you want to follow us
That would be awesome
Whoever wins today
Just there's five of them
Your goal
Your goal is to stick them
On walls all over
Downtown Philadelphia
And really get the word out
About 4AM in Thailand.
It makes you think. You don't even know.
The sticker's pointless, but have fun.
Have fun with them.
Well, it turns out, usually
when we let an audience member
come on the show, they're very quiet
and polite.
And this time, we got
ourselves a loquacious motherfucker.
You have to commend him.
He's going for it, you know?
Yeah, no, he's completely...
He's got his shot.
He's doing exactly what I would want him to do,
which is be himself.
So I see you guys holding some prizes, too.
Steve, what's in your swag bag?
They are pretty shitty prizes.
Oh, they're horrible.
Horrible. I'm amazed. Actually, what's in your swag bag? They are pretty shitty prizes. Oh, they're horrible. Horrible. I'm amazed.
Actually, this is pretty good.
It's continuing the tradition of self-promotion.
This is a t-shirt,
a MMR 45th anniversary
t-shirt. Yep, hence the little
45 doohickey in the middle there.
It's pretty good. I love WMMR
because we were listening to it last night in the car
on the way home. Who is that deep voice guy that's always reminding people that you're listening to WMMR?
Jackson.
He's got the greatest voice ever.
WMMR.
I think in some shifts they don't even have a DJ.
It's just he comes in every once in a while and reminds you that you're listening to WMMR.
Right.
But I just love the way he's just, WMMR.
Like it's so deep and so...
93.3 WMMR.
There's a dude who just images the station.
Is that what you're talking about?
What?
An actual DJ.
No, no, that's what I'm saying.
He's just the image...
Imaging?
Is that what you call it?
Imaging, yeah.
The guy...
Yeah, it's the guy who just does that.
But they use him a lot in the later hours.
I know you're not up
because you have a show the next morning.
Yeah, we get up early.
Yeah.
But yeah, the ballsy dude is pretty impressive.
So, these are President Steve
boy shorts. I don't like that they...
Oh, I see.
They're for girls, but they're called
boy shorts because that's what they're
really for.
Oh, I thought dudes would wear those. No?
Yeah, no, no, no. Some dudes wear them, I think.
You know what? I think you should
model them right now.
Graham!
Because podcast listeners love
a good
underwear over the pants gag
more than
anybody. Wow, very nice.
Look at that. Wow.
That is pink and precious.
You know what?
I think we need a twerking demonstration.
That would really take our minds off of Syria
if you would just...
Oh, shit.
All right.
So he's going to leave them on the whole show.
Yeah.
Hopefully it won't,
like you won't be bad at the Leonard Maltin game
because all your blood supply is being cut off.
And then you'll take them off and give them away to a lucky audience member
at the end of the show.
Yeah, and I'm already breaking into camel toe,
so we're doing a great job.
President Steve's chick magnet.
Chick magnet, that makes sense.
It's a magnet with a chick on it.
This I don't get.
I mean, God bless you, and it's wonderful.
There are loads of attractive women in this calendar,
but it's the end of the fucking year.
Yep.
We've still got three more months.
Let's see what they have in store for themselves.
Oh, look at October.
She's like, this shirt might come off.
We'll see.
Oh, wow, there it's like so wet
that it doesn't matter
that it's a shirt.
This is a girl
that thinks people
want to see the same
pose twice.
And I'm not going
to name names though.
November.
And, oh, December.
That'll warm you up.
And then,
and then there's
a lovely montage
of a bunch of girls
at the end.
Like, this is
great to have bad right why don't you guys we'll get your signatures on it that'll make it more
more of a keepsake and then a bumper sticker and then a bumper sticker it's another bizarrely i
have the beatles rock band video game which does anybody still play this so you can take
this you can take it to your local GameStop
and trade it in for something else if you want.
Did you know that you can,
but open it, make sure you open it
because they won't take it if you don't open it.
If you take it in, that it's pre-sealed,
they will not buy it from you.
Because they think you stole it and returned it.
I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
Sounds like personal experience
is coming into play here, Preston.
And then, hold on, then I have this shirt.
River Valley Vocal Band.
Yeah, Doug, this is
from our fake
folk vocal group that we have
on the Preston Street Show. That's a real vocal band, yes. Alright that we have on the show. Fake my ass.
That's a real vocal band, yes.
All right, so those are the goodies.
By the way, we were taught our vocal lessons from none other than Justin Guarini.
Yes.
I heard that that band's original name was A Slighty Wind.
A Slighty Wind.
Where's that plastic bag that all the stuff was in i need that still okay um here
yeah yeah and where if people who don't live in is it running off to star in american beauty too
doug looks for floating bags just to make that joke like he drives around town hoping to see that
just to make that joke.
Like he drives around town hoping to see that.
Have you seen,
there's a short film
that's about a plastic bag
that is narrated
from the point of view
of a plastic bag.
And, oh,
that sharpie's gone forever.
It's from the point of view
of a plastic bag
and the voice is Werner Herzog.
Really?
The director?
Yeah, yeah.
So look that up on the internet.
It's like 20 minutes long
but it's all about
this sad, lonely bag
just going, you know,
and then I was on the beach.
And a delightful young woman
came along.
Would it be okay
if I watched that
while I drove back
to Bethlehem tonight?
Would Werner Herzog
be okay with me
watching a video
while driving?
No, you know how he feels
about texting while driving. But I'm not texting, I'm just watching a video while driving? No, you know how he feels about texting while driving.
But I'm not texting, I'm just watching a video.
It's in the same category, dude.
Same thing.
And also, Graham Elwood brought a copy of comedy film notes to the book.
Oh!
The novelization.
Yes, the novelization of our podcast.
That's all it is.
It's just transcripts of Chris and I
arguing about tree life. Chris and Graham were a little
grouchy when they walked into the garage that morning.
Great prizes.
Somebody's going to win them all. Oh, no, they're not.
You guys have good prizes. Ours suck,
but the t-shirt's okay. Hey, if someone
doesn't live in Philly, how can they listen to your guys'
podcast? Well, on the internet.
They can do that.
You're very good at self-promotion.
I don't know.
Hope you have electricity.
Thanks, guys.
Just hop on the internet.
Use your computers.
Various other.
Yeah, it's presidentsteve.com.
You can get it.
WMMR.com.
Yep.
And we're on iTunes along with you guys right there.
And thankfully, we do very good numbers with the podcast.
Outstanding.
A lot and about.
And thanks to you guys, especially.
It's awesome.
Come on.
Thank you.
I had so much fun playing that game when we were at Hershey Park, where you put a bunch
of candy in my mouth.
And then I had to say what everything was.
And I would get two out of three every time.
There was always a third rogue candy
that was so new.
I'm not really a candy aficionado
as much now.
You kicked ass.
You were to have that amount of candy
in your mouth and you reeled them off.
Not only if you weren't exactly
on, you were on at least a
similar candy name.
I just thought of an interesting porn version of that game.
Where you get three actors and an actress who's worked
with all of them.
Yeah.
You don't tell her who they are.
She puts on a blindfold
and then things get disgusting.
I don't want to talk about it anymore.
And one of them could be Charleston Chew.
It'd be great.
Yeah.
Charleston, ew.
Oh, my God.
We're so far behind schedule already.
I always love to ask all the guests what they've seen lately.
I hate to skip that part of the show,
so let's just very briefly go into,
have you been to the movies lately, Keith Moser?
Unfortunately, no. Okay, moving on to
the next.
You'll get another chance. Yeah, have some water.
Rehydrate.
Get ready to get back in the game.
Steve?
So all the summer movies, the big blockbusters,
and I don't know, maybe you'll hate me for this,
but I still love Pacific Rim.
I thought that was fucking awesome.
You go so far as to say favorite of the summer?
Yeah, believe it or not.
It was the one that made me feel the most childlike,
and it was awesome.
I thought Superman was good, could have been better.
So you, when you were watching Pacific Rim, you were like crying and shitting your pants?
Absolutely.
I think it was just sucking on a booty.
I walked in shitting my pants.
That movie made me feel like a baby.
Yeah.
I was nursing for the second half.
That's why you loved it so much.
It was awesome. the second half. No, it was... That's why you love the show. It was awesome.
It was awesome.
What about you, Preston?
I saw only a couple of movies this year.
I saw Star Trek Into Darkness,
which I loved.
Yeah, J.J. Abrams.
I'm so happy that he brought
that franchise back around.
I don't know if I liked it
as much as the first one,
but I definitely liked it.
Well, that's what, through the whole thing,
I was kind of like, well, maybe the next one will be,
you know, like I didn't hate it,
but I was also like, maybe the next one will be more,
like just the fact that they're just going to keep making them
makes me happy.
Agreed, yeah, me too.
And then I saw, then I got dragged to The Heat,
that Sandra Bullock,
and that should be actually in Roe vs. Wade
because that was
an hour and a half abortion
that I had to sit through
I thought.
Well,
Preston and Steve
in the mornings you guys.
WMMR.
The category isn't
abortions. The category is't abortions.
The category is people stranded at sea.
Aha.
Which I'm pretty sure does not happen in the heat.
Thanks for the clarification on that.
You didn't like the part where they danced?
I didn't like...
Oh, God, the whole fucking thing, man.
I was just...
That's the first negative thing I've heard about that movie, to be honest with you.
Oh, I thought it was predictable.
And Melissa McCarthy, God bless her, she's really talented.
But I think the foul-mouthed character...
They're making her work too hard now.
She's been beaten into the ground.
We did get a lot of her very quickly.
But Identity Thief, which is, by all accounts, a much worse film.
Like a horrible film.
That came first,
so maybe that's part
of the burnout
that's been happening.
She needs to extend her resume.
Perhaps she should have
played Daisy in Great Gatsby.
Would that have been nice?
Perfect.
That would have been
so fucking great.
She'd be like,
Gatsby?
Who's Gatsby?
I want to punch fuck him.
They said punch fuck
back in that day.
23 skidoo, punch fuck.
I'm just saying
that's the kind of thing
she says in every movie.
Graham, what about you?
My favorite movie this summer
was The Heat
I thought it was
like a beautiful
child being born
I thought it was
like
it was just gorgeous
that was also
my favorite temperature
of the summer
I actually just saw
a movie called
Ip Man
The Final Fight
which if you like
those Ip Man movies
Ip Man is the guy
who trained Bruce Lee
it's awesome martial art film.
It's very hard to find. It's VOD and stuff. Check that out.
I like promoting that. Oh, I left out my
favorite movie, which was the greatest movie ever
rolled. Oh!
Look at this guy. I was
about to Time's Up, fucker,
but then...
I was going to cut you off
with this O-end also. Speaking
of abortions.
Cart!
What?
That makes no sense.
That was fun.
It didn't make it in the movie,
but one day we went with a bullhorn
and just hung out outside a clinic.
Wow.
Just said, you're within your rights a lot.
A lot of stuff like,
it's still legal.
Your body, you get to choose.
Yeah, we weren't in,
which Dakota is it?
We were in neither of the Dakotas,
so we didn't have to worry about that.
There should only be one Dakota.
They each get two senators,
they should call it the Dakota
and they get a fucking mayor.
And John Lennon
will get shot outside of it.
It's a very
specific reference.
That's time for
a segment
I like to call
Love Hate Like Hate Like.
Yeah.
People love, hate, like, hate, like it.
I'm going to name a person involved in motion pictures,
and then we're going to go down the line,
each of you, in order.
We'll go through each of these,
love, hate, like, and hate, like,
starting with love,
because that's the best place to start.
You're all going to just name
movies from this person that
you can't look them up on the internet.
I need to see the list of movies.
Put your phone away.
Put your phone away.
Graham was so
angered last night when the first
contestant, Zach,
in Bethlehem, spelled
with all E's. not the way I spell it
Graham spelled it with an A on Twitter and got so much shit for it I was one of
those shit givers yeah there you go and you shit give her I prefer caregivers
but over shit givers but what was the point of the story? Oh, this
guy, that guy, Zach, when he asked Graham to name the movie, he goes, name it, bitch.
And Graham had never heard Chris Evans famously say, you know, Captain America famously said
on this show to Leonard Maltin, name it, bitch, which was like humorous in its inappropriateness.
But then this guy was just like, name it, bitch. And I was like, and Graham was just like,
who are you calling a bitch?
Like he had no idea
that it was a quote.
Well, it didn't matter
because I beat him.
Yeah, you beat that bitch.
Yeah, suck it.
How about that?
Speaking of bitches,
Riddick is the number one movie in the country
It's the number one movie in the country right now
I mean I don't know how many bitches are in it
But I know how much I love Vinny D
So Pitch Black is like the before midnight of franchises
Is that what this
Every seven years there's a god damn weird
Why are they remaking
this? Well this time it was because
last time they fucked up and put
Judi Dench in it.
So this one's Dench free.
And also more violent
supposedly. They tried to go PG-13
the last time and this time they're like
fuck it, let's go R.
But I haven't seen it. Probably never
will.
But I have seen a lot of
Vincent Q. Diesel movies.
And I'm just guessing
on the middle initial.
So I play this game too,
but I can let you guys
all go first.
So we're going to start
with Keith.
What's a Vin Diesel movie
that you love?
And you can pass once.
I'm going to pass.
He passes.
He does not love
he has no love there's no for vincent diesel movies not that i remember if i was looking
at a list maybe i'd be able to think of one oh well you uh when i say the one i'm thinking of
you'll agree with me yeah probably but what about you uh steve a movie i love yeah that has Vincent Diesel in it. Saving Private Ryan. Yeah!
Caparzo, right?
Doesn't he play Caparzo?
Yeah.
It's a great movie,
and I have a little issue with the bookend parts. I always think that it shouldn't have the flash forward.
Really? You don't like that?
That doesn't work for you?
It's emotional.
I know that,
but I just think it's such a great movie
that they didn't need it.
They didn't need it?
I don't think.
I mean, you know, Schindler's List, sure, put the rocks on the thing, but...
That's how you sum up Schindler's List?
Put the rocks on the thing!
Private Ryan was not a real person.
I know, I know.
It's not a real thing that happened.
The war was certainly real.
Do you think that was Spielberg's direction?
Put the rocks on the thing.
Steve, it's just something they were doing
and he filmed it.
He didn't have to tell them to do that.
Hey, what's with the fucking rocks?
All right, everybody,
make sure all the extras get a goddamn rock.
Line them up.
I hate to tell you,
you're going to have
to clean them off, man.
You don't know
what the fuck that is.
Preston,
save us from this conversation.
The only Vin Diesel movie
that I love
would be Saving Private Ryan.
That's what I was thinking too,
so I got to piggyback on that.
Yep.
See what Graham has over here.
The one that I love,
I'm forgetting the title,
but Sidney Lumet directed it. It's based on a true story of a mob guy that. Yep. See what Graham has over here. The one that I love, I'm forgetting the title, but Sidney Lumet directed it.
It's based on a true story of a mob guy that defended himself.
It's like...
What's that?
Find Me Guilty.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
Vin Diesel has full head of hair.
There's no necromongers in it.
It's really good.
My love Vin Diesel movie is
an animated film called The Iron Giant.
He's great in that.
Now do you want to change your mind?
Unfortunately it's on my Netflix queue. I haven't seen it yet.
Oh dude you're going to love it. I've heard great things
but I haven't seen it yet. So good.
Yeah so that's mine.
Brad Bird is one of the
few filmmakers that has done no wrong to me.
I've loved everything he does,
and I wish he would make more things,
because he's great.
Hate. What do you hate?
You've got to hate something, Scott.
Oh, yeah, there's so much.
Scott.
You've got to be hate being called Scott.
Keith, what do you hate?
The pacifier.
I saw like 30 minutes of that,
and I just couldn't last long.
That was written by a friend of mine.
I'm sorry.
No, he knows it sucks too.
Was it Tom Lennon?
It was Tom Lennon.
My friend might be stretching it.
But I know him.
And yeah, he wrote that.
And oof, it's rough.
It probably made a lot of money for him,
like his book says.
So, I mean, props to him.
It's a good family film, but I just hated it.
I was watching Taxi yesterday that
he also wrote with Robert Ben-Gurant and I was
like, oh, well, there's a movie
that they've written that turned out worse than The Pacifier.
That movie's
just crazy. I mean, I watched the whole thing, though, so
I guess there must have been something good about it.
Steve?
I hate the original Fast and Furious.
I find it very annoying.
I like some of the later ones,
just because they're over the top,
but it just annoys the fuck out of me.
That's a polarizing opinion.
Yes.
Good luck keeping your radio show.
I know I went out on a limb with that one,
but I have to.
You just got fast fucked.
Nobody talks that way about those movies.
Gotta be true to me.
Preston, just stay away from those Fast Five movies.
All right, Triple X.
I thought it was a pretty lame movie.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't like that one.
It was so lame, they were like, let's get a black guy to fill in.
Yeah, there was so much forced crap in it and some of the lines
were really, really cheesy.
Like it's amazing that there's a sequel
that Vin Diesel didn't sign on for.
Yeah, exactly.
And when are they going to do
Pacifier 2?
Ask your friend.
I don't think he's going to write it.
He's writing his own stuff.
Hellbaby's doing quite well on video on demand.
Graham, what do you got?
You know, I would probably have to say,
even though I haven't seen it, is Riddick.
I just hate that it exists.
Did you see Chronicles of Riddick?
Yeah, that's the movie I love.
That's the movie I hate to love or whatever.
We'll get there.
What do you
just
like? Is there one you just like or do you want to pass
on that one, Scott Keith?
Yeah.
There's not been a lot of movies
said yet, so I don't know without...
Did we talk backstage about how I wanted to show the audience your name tag,
and we decided that that's what we were going to do,
and then you came out here without it?
But you showed...
You were talking about the name tags.
I didn't know.
I'll go grab it for this.
I just wanted to show everybody the work that you did,
and I also wanted to get rid of you for a little bit.
I'll go.
I'll knock my glass over and go.
Is there one that you like
just like
that I just like
pitch black
pitch black is one that I
wasn't terrible right
it has some good moments
I think
you know
there are
certainly
things to recommend
not a great movie
but pretty good
yeah Steve Steele
and mine
I was thinking
the exact same thing
I thought pitch black
was a decent a decent sci-fi flick and the riddick character at the beginning kind of that's where it
caught on then they the video game came out i think the video games are actually better than
any of the movies yeah yeah riddick escape from butcher bay is a motherfucker it's great and the
plot is really really good better than the game better than than the movies. Graham? I like Fast
Six. I mean, I...
The movie is brilliant.
Five was better than Six. No.
Really?
I'm sorry. Does Five have a
runway that's 12 minutes and 45 seconds
long?
Six is more fun for you to talk about and make fun of.
Fast Six is goddamn genius.
The Rock wears one
shirt throughout the whole movie.
He's holding envelopes
and flexing. He walks
into the room and goes, lock it down!
And no one moves. Nothing's happening.
There's no reason to lock anything down.
You could just say, could you close that door?
Yeah.
People are working and everyone just kind of looks over their shoulder
and they're like, huh?
Lock it down! I wish that character
would just yell that
every room he walks into
anywhere
anywhere
like sir
would you like an app
lock it down
like everywhere
and Vin Diesel's got
the greatest acting job
on the planet
yeah he's got
he's got two of them now
I mean I don't know
if there'll be more
Riddick movies
he just walks around
family of them now. I mean, I don't know if there'll be more Riddick movies. He just walks around with his family.
And then he runs up some steps.
I like, like, like. I very, very, very
much like Saving Private Ryan, so that's my like.
And then, what do you hate to like,
if anything?
I think I have something.
Was it Fast Five, when he came back to the series
and The Rock was introduced?
Yeah. With, like, the bank and the
vaults scrolling down the street.
Sure.
That was the one where, clearly, innocent
civilians that had nothing to do with their schemes
and robberies and fast cars
were getting murdered.
And they're just all more concerned
about themselves and their
quote-unquote family. Yeah, you're supposedly rooting
for them. Police officers
that are just doing their job. A giant
safe is smashing into their car
and ruining their lives
and the lives of their families. Hey, shouldn't have been
on the street that day, asshole. Yeah.
Protect and serve.
Why don't you fucking stay home?
Yeah.
You signed up for this gig, bitch,
so maybe take a couple of fast fives right in the bean.
I'm trying to think of what group of people
is going to be more upset by this show today.
I guess law enforcement probably doesn't even listen to this show,
but I respect them
sometimes
I respect
when they're not
frisking me
I respect them
what do you got
for your
your
you hate that you like it
I think it's called
use your microphone
knock around
the knock around guys
yeah yeah
yeah
you guys remain with that
yeah
it's the unofficial sequel
to Iron Giant
yeah
it's it's quirky it's fun it's not too bad Preston what do you think You guys remain with that? Yeah. It's the unofficial sequel to Iron Giant. Yeah.
It's quirky.
It's fun.
It's not too bad.
Preston, what do you think?
The original Fast and Furious.
It's a cheesy movie, but something about it that I like. I mean, if you want the fast girls or hot chicks.
Whatever.
Hot chicks and fast cars.
But I tell you what, the moment that I absolutely cringe the most in that movie is
Michelle Rodriguez is about to race this guy, and he's revving the engine,
and with each rev, he puckers his lips at her.
Oh, my God.
It is absolutely...
Do you know what I'm talking about?
No, but I'm going to do it.
Like he's blowing kisses at her.
You're getting turned on.
He probably also says chica at some point.
Seems like a good nickname for her.
I heard she got a DUI while shooting that scene.
While shooting that scene?
Yeah.
Graham, what's yours?
Let's close this out.
Mine is actually Knock Around Guys 2.
Oh, okay.
There was a sequel already?
Yeah.
The second one
where John Malkovich
flies him to a different
small town in the Midwest
to fight for mob money
or whatever they do.
It was Knockin' 2,
Still Knockin'.
Yeah.
Yeah, Still Knockin'.
Exactly.
And the movie poster
is them all fist bumping.
Still Knockin'.
Knock Around Guys.
I'm gonna fight you in a moment
my hate that I like it
is of course Fast Five
and this has been
love hate like
hate like
let's
before we pick name tags
show them your name tag
look at this thing you guys
it's
it's Keith David
minus David Keith did I get the order guys. It's Keith David minus David Keith.
Did I get the order right? Plus.
But Keith David is first.
I always get their names mixed up, and he's David Keith.
I think so, yeah. I think David Keith is the white one.
Yeah, the white one is David Keith.
So it's plus David Keith plus
Keith David minus two
the statue of David's
divided by two
equals, and then you found some weird-ass movie
that's just called Keith
that I've never heard of
starring Jesse McCartney
and Elizabeth Han-Wa.
Yeah, but that's his name tag.
Clever.
Signed by Graham Elwood and Doug Benson.
Nice, he done.
You gotta love long-form math.
It's exciting.
The reason I wanted to keep this Romeo and Juliet thing
is because
I worked on a
thing for MTV where they interviewed
Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio
and I got to write
questions and sit there and watch them get interviewed
by somebody that wasn't me. I'm thinking that might be on here and I got to write questions and sit there and watch them get interviewed by somebody that wasn't me.
I'm thinking that might be on here and I want
to see it again. Good story, Doug.
You know, the Eagles are going to be
playing in about 24 hours so you need to
There's no reason to drag this out.
Do you think De Niro still sits
around rooting for them in character?
I think so.
Can't let some of those things go.
The method, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Now is the time in the show when I say,
let the games begin!
Let the games begin!
Gentlemen and Graham Elwood,
pick your name tags.
All right.
And we will be right back.
And we're back!
Yay!
We're back and making a vine.
So, Keith, show me your name tag And describe it to the listeners
This is a big The Criterion collection
This is Spinal Cat
And there's some cat faces
On the heads of the members
Of the band
That's well done
And the person's name is Cat?
I'm hoping so
Catherine?
Catherine?
Okay
Oh that's your name? Just straight up cat?
Alright.
Good for you.
Shh.
Daisy.
Daisy Cat.
Quiet. I'm making a vine.
Alright.
Steve, what is this thing?
What's this about?
I am a huge fan of the movie Blackula,
and this is Leilani.
Is that Leilani?
Is Blackula.
And it's simple to the point,
but I can't help it.
I'm a Blackula fan, so it wins.
There you go.
From out of the night comes a bloodsucker.
Right.
Deadlier than Dracula.
How are you deadlier than Dracula?
He's more badass.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's Blackula.
Do you remember the story?
How he became?
He was an African prince
who was bitten by Dracula
because of his hubris.
Whatever the hell that means.
That's the best way
to become Blackula
because I'm sure
that in the case of Dracula
that was his name.
Yeah.
But in the case of Blackula
he had to reason
to coin himself with that name.
So when Dracula bit him, lightning struck.
Yes.
He'd already created a G line.
Lightning struck.
Because that's a documentary.
He got a movie crew out of it.
And Preston.
I like this.
Has a giant P.
It's a giant P. Greatest letter in the alphabet. Thank you very much. Preston has a has a giant P it's a giant P
greatest letter
in the alphabet
thank you very much
Preston has a P
alright so this thing
is about
I don't know
it's about 18 inches high
or something like that
it looks
this had to have come
from a business
of some sort
where did you steal this
yeah
what
that's the first letter
of a pizza sign
pizza
pizza sign
nice
P is for pizza
that's good enough
for me.
So this is Pat's P.
Good job.
Yep.
And now finally, what the fuck is Grant?
What is that?
It's a weird monkey with a crown.
Yeah, it's a princess monkey.
It's a weird monkey with a crown. Yeah, it's a princess monkey. It's Glinda.
It's Glinda?
Glinda.
Oh, the monkey has a name,
named Glinda,
but the person I'm playing for
is named Rachel.
So I picked weirdos.
They had what she had
on a comedy film nerd shirt.
The other one had a palm strike shirt,
and I saw a crazy, crazy monkey.
So I'm going to do
ventriloquism all night.
Hey, Glenda, what do you think of Philadelphia?
I think it's great.
What?
That's a weird voice.
Why do you sound like a Muppet?
I don't think the mic needs to go to the monkey's mouth when you do the ventriloquism.
I don't know.
That's weird.
Yeah, that's the first step to the art of ventriloquism
is the audience needs to hear both voices.
Oh, all right.
So you really have to say...
Hey, Glenda, are you a big Doug Loves Movies fan?
Shut up, sinhead.
Oh, wow.
Glenda, why do you sound like Sanford and Son?
Shut up, dummy.
Why do you sound like
all the characters from that show, apparently?
Thank you, Preston, for holding up a microphone
so we could hear.
That was a crazy illusion.
The magic of live theater.
Shut up, dummy.
All right, you guys.
Let's warm up with something I like to call the new game,
a.k.a. the Seth Rogen game, a.k.a. IMDb,
a.k.a. Last Man Stanton.
And this is the game where I get to play along.
I'm a spoiler in the game.
I might win.
And we're going to get a name of a director
or an actor or an actress with lots of credits.
It has to be someone with lots of credits
from an audience member.
And then we're going to each take turns,
starting with our honored new guest, keith moser it gets to
go first naming movies that person was involved in and if when you can't name one you're out and
if we run out of names the last man stanton is the uh is the one who uh got the last one in before
we ran out which happened with the coen Brothers recently. Wow. Which is very exciting. Me and the panel named every Coen Brothers movie.
And just off the top of our heads, too, no cheating.
Keep your phones in your pockets.
And we need to get, who's the person in the audience that I've enjoyed?
Oh, the young lady that I met on Twitter.
What's your name?
What's your Twitter name?
K the K?
With underscores in there and stuff and Kay the K all right no one what are you in the clan no one's
she's just two K's cuz she doesn't feel as strongly about it as she doesn't she
gets suffocates with a head thing on she's not for white power just white equality
so could you name uh one of those three things an actor actress or director that has a lot of
films that they've done bill murray nice outstanding this is a great one standing
this is a great one so This is a great one.
So Keith gets to pick from all the Bill Murray movies.
Just name any Bill Murray movie.
Ghostbusters.
Okay, you could have taken one that is a little harder to think of.
But, you know.
Easy ones out.
Okay, let's get the easy ones over with.
Steve?
I'm not going to go easy.
I'll go Razor's Edge.
Oh, nice one.
Yeah, see, that's good. Quick Change. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's good.
Quick Change.
Oh, awesome film.
People love that movie.
I never got into it, but I...
Hey!
What?
Wah, wah.
Hey!
Say?
You got a lot of moxie, kid.
I'm going to punch fuck you for that.
Preston and Steve in the mornings, you guys. a moxie, kid. I'm going to punch fuck you for that. President Steve
in the mornings, you guys.
WMMR 93.3.
WMMR
home of the punch fuck.
I like that.
Rock it down. 99.3.
Your turn,
Stally. A Little
Shop of Horrors.
Oh, shit. That's a good one.
Little Shop of Horrors.
I'll go with Ghostbusters 2.
You bastard.
Caddyshack.
What about Bob?
Another one that people love
that it's not one of my favorites,
but I do appreciate
anything Bill Murray does.
Stripes.
Oh, nice.
Like, stripes especially.
When people start talking about,
oh, but the last part
isn't as good.
Fuck you.
I love it all the way through.
The great,
what's his name, Warren?
Buffett. Yes. The great, what's his name, Warren? Buffett.
Yes.
The great Warren Buffett.
Gene Harding.
Finance stripes.
Warren Oates.
Yeah, Warren Oates.
Which was the original title of Garfunkel and Oates.
It sounded too Russian.
Where are we at?
We at Preston?
No.
Graham.
Graham, all the way down to Graham.
What did Preston say?
Stripes?
Stripes.
Okay, okay.
Broken flowers.
Oh.
That's a trouble.
That's right, bitches.
All right, if we're going to get into that kind of shit, coffee and cigarettes.
Oh.
Meatballs.
Yeah. Perfect with Coffee and cigarettes. Oh. Meatballs. Yeah.
Perfect with coffee and cigarettes.
It's a big old plate of meatballs.
Oh, this is intense.
Good. Zombieland.
Yeah, of course. Nice.
Good movie. One of the greatest cameos
we've ever ruined right now.
Groundhog Day.
Of course!
Might be my favorite
Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day.
I will go Rushmore.
Ooh, yeah.
That opened up
a real kettle of fish
because I'm going to go with The Life Aquatic
with Steve Zissou.
Oh!
The Royal Tenenbaums.
Yeah.
Let's get them all.
Tootsie.
Ooh!
I think we're getting into a weird area here.
That's a great line.
Oh, I got a fucking good one.
Oh, I'm so excited about the one I've got.
Where we at?
Me.
P.
I got it on the tip of my tongue.
What up, P?
Yo.
Three seconds.
Two.
One.
I'm out.
Oh.
Sorry.
Graham?
Sorry, P. Graham? What's that that are you talking to people in the audience what are you doing over there these guys want to talk to Glinda I know
no I sound like Pat Elber we're gonna have a good time tonight. Okay, quit stalling. Quit stalling. What's that? What's a Bill Murray movie? Three, two, one.
That one is out.
I just blanked.
God damn it.
I'm going Mad Dog and Glory.
Wow.
Oh, God damn it.
I'm going to say Lost in Translation.
Yeah, you are.
Another one I like a lot.
I just saw the movie poster in my head
and I blanked on the goddamn title
because I was thinking of riffs for the monkey.
Don't worry, Rachel.
I'll focus when it counts.
This is like the Harlem Globetrotters
when they don't play for real.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, ah, ha, ha,
and then they play for real.
I can't let them do it.
All right.
What do you got, Steve?
I know the movie.
I don't know the title.
Oh, that's not, you can't. Let me see. Don. I don't know the title. Oh, that's not...
You can't...
Let me see.
Don't say anything other than the title.
Don't talk your way through it.
What's it called?
No, I...
Oh, you say you're out?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
I'm going to go with...
I want to do, fuck.
I know there's a few, yeah, right?
I'm going to call three seconds on myself.
Three, two, one.
Fuck, why can't I think of, Moonrise Kingdom.
Oh, that's what I was trying to think of.
Wow, wow.
Damn it, I was sitting there going, what's his name either? But he was a voice in Fantastic of. Wow. Wow. Damn it. I was sitting there wondering what his name was.
But he was a voice
in Fantastic Mr. Fox.
Yes, he was.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, fucker
What was the one with the elephant
The man who knew too little
Take your time
That Darjeeling limited cameo
Is he in it
Audience saying yes He's Is he in it? Audience saying yes.
He's got to be in it, right?
And, um...
Fucking, what's the elephant one?
It's something at large.
Something about being large.
Not Dumbo Drop.
Dumbo Drop.
I know it's hard to keep
Dennis Leary and Bill Murray straight, but they're very similar.
Do you got one more?
I think I'm out.
Yeah, I don't know.
Am I the last man standing?
I think you're the winner.
No, I think you win.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Space Jam.
He was in Space Jam.
I've never seen that.
You know what else we forgot?
And what was the other one called?
Ed Wood.
Ed Wood.
Ed Wood is great. face jam. I've never seen that. You know what else we forgot? What was the other one called?
Ed Wood. Ed Wood is great.
Scrooge! How did we miss Scrooge?
Holy shit.
Anybody say what about Bob?
Yeah, what about Bob got covered?
Kingpin.
Kingpin.
Kingpin. He's just classic.
How the fuck did we miss Kingpin?
How the fuck did they not yell that out the whole time?
Congratulations.
You idiots.
You guys, your heads were exploding.
We're at the Buffalo Realm.
That's a great one.
Yeah.
He's had a wide and illustrious career.
We get it.
Thank you. Wow, that was fucking horrible.
Wow, I listened to Doug Love's movies from Philly.
It was just 40 minutes of people yelling Bill Murray
Bill Murray titles in a very
angry tone.
John McCain didn't take more shit at a town
meeting in Arizona than we're getting
for not remembering
Bill Murray movies.
He's at Santa Claus. That's what this town
is known for.
By the way, that is an overstated rumor.
They raped him.
Take that, Santa Claus.
Suck on my tasty cake, you cocksucker.
Well, that's a fun game.
And that's another thing I love about that game is people writing to me on Twitter
to tell me the movies that we didn't get.
Like, yeah, you know,
when you're just sitting at home thinking about it,
it's a fucking different game.
But it's hard to come up with that stuff fast.
It is, yeah.
Try doing it when you got a princess monkey
on your lap, alright?
That sounds like some weird addiction.
I've got a princess monkey on my lap.
Are you chasing the dragon?
No, man.
You've got that princess monkey on my lap.
I can't shake it, brother.
I've been drinking drinking cosmopolitans
morning or tonight I guess that's what it would be right
was going to the good monkey a princess or just a witch what's that it's Glinda
the good no he means why are you talking okay
Wow Wow
Touché.
Shut up, dummy.
Nobody's been to no Thailand before you.
We're just having fun.
That was surgical.
That was pretty impressive.
Laser.
I can't even get a straw in my mouth right now.
May I have another vodka and soda if the lovely folks at Helium can hook me up with that?
Are you good on your drink, Keith?
I think it's my yingling.
Keith would like another yingling.
I call it yungling because I don't know how to pronounce things.
It's America's oldest beer.
Yeah, well, I had a great time out in Lehigh last night.
Especially everyone laughing at me
for pronouncing it Lehigh.
I guess.
Oh, Lehigh.
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
All right.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Let's quit fucking around.
Get to it.
Let's get serious.
I always get my ass kicked in this game.
I'm going to try.
I'll try hard for you.
All right.
Well, since you said that, we'll give you a little breathing room.
All right.
And we'll start with our winner of the last game, which is Keith.
And then we'll go to
Graham and then to
Preston and then to Steve
Keith gets to pick the first category
first person to two points wins
whoever you're playing for gets all that stuff
all the prizes
let me find
where we have some new categories
at Citizen Schwartz suggested
it puts the motion in the casket it puts the motion in the casket.
It puts the motion in the casket.
And that is movies where a vampire has sex.
You know Blackula did.
Ah, sick.
Yeah.
No pre-guessing.
Or celebrating a birthday today, the great Martin Freeman Ah, sick. Yeah. No pre-guessing.
Or celebrating a birthday today,
the great Martin Freeman from The Office TV show
in the British version.
He's been in a ton of movies.
Always does a great job.
So let's hear it for him.
Woo!
Category probably won't get picked.
And then,
at I Hear Ramona sing,
suggested The Dogfather.
And The Dogfather is movies
that have a dyslexic character in them.
Wow.
The D-O-double G.
I like it.
Which one of those would you like to play?
The vampire motion in the casket.
Okay.
Or whatever.
Yeah.
Two stars from Leonard for this movie
that has a vampire having sex in it.
The year is 2011.
He says about this movie that it's slow-paced,
that it's boring,
and...
Oh, look at that.
That's a yingling.
Oh, and there's my vodka. Thank you so much.
Ah.
One more clue.
I'll find it, I swear to you.
No, that's enough.
2011, two stars?
Yeah, has a vampire, has sex in it,
and he lists
19 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
I'm going to go 19 names.
Keith of Bethlehem
says 19 names.
And thank you for wearing those
swaddling clothes.
I will go 16.
16?
16 names.
16.
Sweet 16.
Never been kissed.
I don't like Graham holding that thing.
I also don't care for his name tag.
Her eyes are so scary.
You just played a game, Demi.
People don't know this, but Preston used to Steve with Jeff...
Steve?
That's great.
Preston used to Steve.
Yeah.
No, Preston used to tour with Jeff Dunham,
and he was in charge of putting the mic in the face of the puppet.
It's a skill.
How many names can you get in, Preston?
I'm going to say 12.
All right, Big P.
I'll say 10.
Steve says 10.
This is a competitive bunch.
Nine.
No, you're going to need to bid.
You can't say no in German.
Nueve.
Nice.
Oh, you changed it?
What?
He went from nine to eleven?
Nueve.
No, he had ten.
Oh, it's nine.
Yeah, we're down to nine.
Nueve means nine.
In English, goddammit!
None of this foreigner bullshit.
He said Nueve, not 11-0.
Well, I think you're gonna need to name that movie, young man.
He gets nine names?
Yeah, out of 19, he's got a lot of work.
No, he's gonna know it. No, he's not.
I just have to say one thing.
I'm a stickler for
exact titles. And your nine
names... That's a good hint, thank you.
I'm not such an idiot now, am I?
You're right.
That's not why you didn't...
You did that.
Now, the nine names are
Jamie Campbell Bauer.
That's one name, not three.
Michael Welch.
Boo Boo Stewart.
Boo Boo.
Boo Boo.
Because when people are watching the movie,
they're like, let's boo boo.
Julia Jones. Gil Birmingham. The great Gil Birmingham. uh julia jones gil birmingham the great gil birmingham christian carango wow
so we still got three more names dude sarah clark anna kendrick and michael sheen
the movie is called oh uh 2011 wow i'm gonna go
Anna Kendrick
You can do it
Fuck I hate these books so much
Alright the Twilight Saga
Colon Shit.
I'm going to go New Moon.
Dude, I thought you had it.
I really did.
I don't think they were calling him Twilight Saga yet at New Moon.
I think it was just Twilight New Moon.
But that's neither here nor there.
This one was called Breaking Dawn Part 1.
And it's the one where
Edward and Bella get their fuck on.
That's like... I forgot the category.
That's when I make that freak wolf baby.
So Glinda the Good Monkey is
on the board.
Ba-boom! So I guess I'm not such an idiot So Glinda the Good Monkey is on the board. Boom, boom!
So I guess I'm not such an idiot with the nine names.
Little fucking mumbling from Beth Laham.
That's right.
Graham Elwood, the angriest winner.
It's the puppet.
It's between him and Sam.
The puppet's angry.
I'm happy.
It's like Trilogy of Terror with that puppet. It's between him and Sam. The puppet's angry. I'm happy. It's like Trilogy of Terror with the puppet.
It is.
Glenda, why are you so angry?
Shut up, man.
Get another point.
Oh, stop being so mean.
All right.
So since Graham got the point and he was the one that did the challenging,
we're going to start with Preston and then go to
Graham. So Steve, you still
get a little more breathing room. Thank you.
You're welcome. You're going to come out smelling
like a rose.
It's the idea. Pick a category
Preston. At XX
Goots. G-O-O-T-S
and then another XX.
What?
You shouldn't be submitting categories.
You should be working on that Twitter handle.
But Goots suggested The Liberty Bell
since we're in Philadelphia,
and that's movies where someone does crack.
Brilliant.
Yeah.
And at The Robert Main, M-A-I-N, The Robert Main M-A-I-N
The Robert Main
He suggested stuff before that have gotten on the show
And this time is another good one
He suggested
Shut the fuck up Donnie
And that's movies where Steve Buscemi dies
I gotta go with the Liberty Bell man You get a third choice Steve Buscemi dies.
I gotta go with the Liberty Bell, man.
You get a third choice.
Oh, I get a third choice.
A third choice.
All right, bring it up.
Your third choice,
you'll probably still go with Liberty Bell,
but your third choice is The Spectacular Now,
and that's movies that are in theaters now that got better than 80% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Yeah.
That is new.
New-ish.
We've done it once, I think.
No, I've got to go with the Liberty Bell.
All right, Liberty Bell.
Absolutely.
That's right.
You've got to go Philly.
You know where your bell is buttered.
Would you like a movie that has someone,
at least one person,
maybe there's a whole football field of people doing it,
but there's crack
is consumed in
a movie from either 1992,
2004,
or 2011.
92.
That is an interesting pick.
Usually people don't go that way.
Two stars.
1992.
Leonard says about this movie
that
it has a cameo by Jesus in it.
And he calls it pretentious.
And I mean, I guess that would have gone hand in hand
with the cameo by Jesus.
Jesus, yeah.
And he also calls it over the top,
and he lists a whopping six names.
How many names do you think you can get in this movie
where someone does crack,
does not necessarily take place
in Philadelphia.
Well, I gotta go with six names.
Yeah, take them all. Six names.
Graham?
No yelling out, please, sir.
I will go...
Sounds like he's just trying to pay his bill.
With movie titles?
Yeah, he asked
for some quick change.
Doug Benson, ladies and gentlemen.
I will go four names.
Oh, my.
What do you think of that, Keith?
I'm thinking he might not be able to do it,
but if he does, he wins the game.
Oh, yeah game Big gamble chief
So if I were you I'd just
Go ahead and bid lower
Maybe I don't know it
That monkey is so scary
Maybe I wanted to say five
But I said the wrong number
You have established yourself
To be that big of an idiot
I'm very stupid
I'm very stupid.
I'm wearing women's underwear.
I wrote Zach on the CD you won in Bethlehem.
Even though you're like, hey, Keith.
I'm like, hey, you got it, Zach.
I got an idea.
Three names.
Yeah.
Way to go, Zach.
Zach is back. And now finally,
Steve Morrison gets to play.
I'll say name that movie.
Yeah, there you go.
Nice.
Smart.
You get three names, dude.
You think you have an idea what it is?
No, I just didn't want Graham to get the point.
Oh, okay, good.
See, that's the strategy I've heard.
That's what I would have done.
That's what I keep fucking up.
Two stars.
Somebody does crack.
It's over the top.
It's a couple other things.
Jesus.
Jesus has a cameo.
And your three names are Leonard Thomas, Paul Calderon, and Victor Argo,
who has often been told to go fuck himself.
So, yeah, I don't know how helpful those three names are.
But if you name a movie from around 92 that had crack in it,
then you might be in business.
So many options to choose from.
There were a lot of crack films in 92.
I don't even know any movie that has crack in it.
I'll say Reality Bites.
I think that's their other name.
They're young.
Remember when they were smoking crack?
It's interesting you say that.
It's because behind the scenes they were.
Ben Stiller has said that he was on crack the entire time.
They're actually remaking it now.
They're in negotiations to remake it.
They're making it into a TV series.
Oh, is that what?
Yeah, it's going to be a TV show.
Yeah, Ben Stiller's going to produce it.
Or executive produce it.
He'll come by every once in a while and go, that looks good.
Can I take a stab at it?
Since he got it wrong? I have a feeling stab at it? Since he got it wrong?
I have a feeling.
Oh, you think he got it wrong?
Yeah, I think he did.
You're right.
Is it New Jack City?
No, it isn't.
Jesus isn't in that.
I was going to say Superstar.
Oh, what's that?
Because Will Ferrell plays Jesus in it.
Was that 2000?
That's much later
Is it Colors?
We can stop guessing
We got a game to finish
The movie's called Bad Lieutenant
Oh, no colon
Yeah, no colon
Port of Call, New Orleans or any of that
Nonsense, it's just straight up Bad Lieutenant
I guess I should have given a
more giveaway clue like
this movie features somebody masturbating
in front of a nun.
Who's just sitting in a car
minding her business.
Pulls her over and jerks off.
Okay, so that means
that what just happened?
Steve got the point.
How about that?
Steve got the point. Oh, Steve got a point. Steve got a point. How about that? Yeah, Steve.
How about it?
Steve got the point.
I'm learning.
Yeah.
Nice.
Once he finally got in the game, he took it down.
And so that means that since he challenged you,
that we're going to start with Preston and then go to Steve.
Yeah.
Okay.
So Preston gets to pick.
Between a really fun category we do sometimes called Asparagus Pee.
Since you're holding a big pee, that's a good time to do it, I think.
And that's where, if you'd pick this category, I read the entire review,
and everybody pretty much knows what the movie is if they're not Pete Holmes.
Although actually, recently, there was
another movie where I thought everyone should know what it was,
and Jon Hamm and Sam Levine didn't even know
what it was, so sometimes I get it
wrong. But in this case,
I think you guys will know what it is.
And then it just becomes a game of negative
names, how many names you think you can name
from the movie. Or
at Sardonic Brian suggested
Asparagus Pete Pete and that's
movies that have actors from
The Devil Wears Prada.
Which was
the film that Pete did not recognize
after it was described in
its entirety.
And your third choice, suggested
by All Wasted Hours, is
The Artist and that's movies about painters.
And you can imagine how exciting the answer could be to that one.
I've never stood up and cheered at a movie about a painter.
I'm going to go with Asparagus Pete.
Okay.
I'm going to go with the one... What was that about again?
These are actors from...
Oh, Devil Wears Prada.
It's got an actor from Devil Wears Prada in it,
which, you know, of course,
starred Emily Blunt and Stanley Tucci.
Uh-huh.
Yep, those were the only two.
Those are my favorites.
Adrian Grenier. Yeah, yeah. Oh, two. Those are my favorites. Adrienne Grenier.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, maybe the answer is Entourage the movie.
Yeah.
But anyway, Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, you know the drill.
And this particular movie got three stars from Leonard.
It's from 2008.
He calls it cheerful.
He calls it cheerful, and he also says that this movie seemingly has four or five finales,
but then he admits after an ellipsis that they're all fun.
It's got four or five fun finales in it, if you like F-words.
And he lists eight names.
Wow.
How many names can you get it in?
What year was that again?
Preston Elliott.
The year is 2008.
Hmm.
All right.
Yeah, I'll start with eight names.
You're the best player this game has ever seen.
Because you don't let your ego get in the way.
You don't let pride get in the way.
You're just like, I'll fucking take all the names.
So then we go to Steve.
Name that movie.
You learned how to play the game.
Wow!
I finally got it.
Oh, there's going to be some bad blood tomorrow morning, you guys, on 983.3.
Gunfight at 6 a.m.
Is that when you start?
Stevie might have just taken the win here.
No, he's good.
He's good.
Somebody doesn't think he's good.
Hey, Graham, Graham, a little side bet?
You don't think he's going to get it with eight names?
I don't think he's going to get it with that.
I mean, he's a self-admitted, like, he doesn't know that much about movies.
Right.
He does, though.
And he knows him.
Like, Steve knows his... I got five bucks on Steve.
All right.
Okay, that's a bet.
You're matching it?
Yeah.
All right.
Match.
Match.
Match bet.
Do you have it on you
Because I do not trust you
Well I'm gonna need to borrow it
I might not see you again
Yeah I've got the money
Next Saturday we're gonna be
In St. Louis
Sunday we'll be in Milwaukee
Yeah I don't know
If I'll have it then either
No
You better
You better pay up
I'm not even gonna
Give you the clues again
That's how confident I am
That I just won
Five bucks from Graham.
Here's the money.
No rumbling in the audience.
Oh, here it is. Put it on the
table.
Money plays.
Your eight names
are Christine Baranski, Amanda Seyfried,
Dominic Cooper, Julie
Waters, Stellan Starsgard,
Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan,
and Meryl Streep.
And the movie is called...
Wait a minute.
You rattled those off a little fast, dog.
Hang on a second.
Give him time to process it.
2008.
Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, and Meryl Streep.
Give him more. Give him more.
Give him more?
Give him all the names over again.
Stellan SkarsgÄrd, Julie Waters, Dominic Cooper, Amanda Seyfried.
Yeah, I got the names.
I'm just trying to think what the clue was.
Read the clues again.
It has four or five finales, and they're all fun, and it's cheerful.
It's from 2008.
Three stars. Fuck. Yeah, and they're all fun, and it's cheerful, and it's from 2008, three stars.
Fuck.
Yeah, I know, all right?
I know.
I wish that Leonard Maltin called a movie called Fuck cheerful.
Rachel, I tried so hard for you.
Come get your stupid money, Graham.
I'm thinking it's a musical.
Am I right about that?
Well,
musicals
are fun. Alright, hold on.
Hold on.
God, you guys are
going to kill me. Oh, wait.
Yes, I know. It's that fucking ABBA movie.
Oh.
Hold on. Hang on.
Hang on.
You're distracting me.
Let him think.
Let him think.
Let him think.
Quiet.
All right.
It's a shame you don't play the ABBA on WMMR.
To title one of their songs, it's not Waterloo, it's...
Come get your money, girl.
Because all I'm hearing right now is Waterloo.
It's called Mamma Mia.
Mamma Mia.
Almost had it.
So close.
Congratulations, Graham.
Rachel, I'll give you this five bucks.
Sorry, Pat.
And that means Steve is our winner.
Thank you. thank you so much
so it's really not
about movie knowledge
it's about being
an asshole
yeah
believe me
I'm on 12
Christmas
two times in a row
for being a fucking
asshole
yeah just pass it.
Don't get yourself
in that position.
That's right.
But giving him all the names,
that's ballsy.
I can't believe Leonard Malt
gave that three stars, though.
What should he have given it?
Like a fucking middle finger?
Right, yeah.
Should he have given it
a picture of cats fucking?
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
I don't know what that means
I'm too drunk
it's a good thing this is over
but congratulations
thank you
is that the first time you've won
that is the first time
I've ever won
yeah there you go
hey
come on now
thank you
and I didn't want to say this
at the beginning
but
there's a little boy in the hospital
who asked me to win tonight.
He might have passed already,
but I hope he got to...
Well, maybe you'll bury him in those prizes
that your contestant won.
Yeah.
Let's give the prizes to Blackula.
Yes.
There we go.
Do you want the shitheads?
Everything?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You get everything except for Romeo and Juliet.
I apologize.
There you go.
Congratulations.
Come on, big winner.
I mean, do you want the Romeo and Juliet thing?
Do you care?
She kind of wants it.
You can have it.
I feel bad.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wait, wait.
You got to get the panties.
No, that she doesn't want.
That she's good with you hanging on to those.
Dude, if you take those off,
the Eagles might not win tomorrow night.
Who's booing me taking them off?
Because it's just,
men taking off their underwear is never sexy.
I know, it's caught on my shoe.
There's nothing good about it.
Oh, yeah.
Toss it to her.
Oh, yeah. Ioss it to her. Oh, yeah.
I'm a reverse Tom Jones.
She's totally inhaling it right now.
She's totally... That's right.
Smells like fucking
gluten-free palm strikes.
Graham, I know you have to run out
to the merch table
because you've got
Comedy Film Nerds books
and palm strike shirts. Yeah, yeah. We'll all be be out there for anybody who wants them does this have a head
on the back yes it does oh i know i feel weird just touching it wow what a weird thing hey oh
stop kissing oh you stop kissing me with it oh now i got marijuana all up in my grill
Now I got marijuana all up in my grill.
I've been violated by a dumbest stoner.
Nice mic work, Keith.
I try.
Graham Elwood, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you so much for being out there.
You guys are great. I got the shithead that was on a post-it on the back.
Does yours have a shithead on it?
I don't think so, no.
I didn't see anything.
Cat, you got a shithead?
Come up here.
Yeah, we need your shithead, Cat.
Anything you want.
We yell it.
No, you don't yell it.
It's a secret that's going to be revealed in a minute.
It's a secret for the next...
But we could still...
You've heard the show, right?
Yeah.
I'm sorry!
Here, let her through there, you guys, if you can.
Oh, yeah, just write it on there.
Just scribble it on there.
Oh, look at that guy.
Front row pen master.
While she's doing that,
Preston, does your pee have a shithead on the back?
Yes.
Don't say it aloud.
Don't say it.
Just pass it down.
It reads, oh, I give it to you?
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, but there's a little note ahead of time for a contestant.
Oh, yeah, they explain it to you.
People are very good about that.
Oh, okay.
Interesting one.
And, all right.
She put a smiley face after it.
It's a pleasant shit head.
I'm going to say smiley face after I say it.
President Steve, besides WMMR here in Philadelphia
and a podcast that people can listen to,
anything else pressing that you want to plug or talk about?
Well, we have the Daily Rush now.
There's a video that is up every day. We're
putting together, potentially over the long
run, a half-hour
TV show that's a best-of of
the segments we do during the week. But you can check everything
out on PressThisTeam.com
and
the streaming, the podcast. Anything else I'm missing?
Oh, it's tomorrow.
Well, we're doing the
Battle of the Counties. Yeah, Delco versus Bucksco.
So, a couple of
passionate counties
in the Philadelphia region.
Are they still yelling out Bill Murray movies?
Yeah.
Osmosis Jones!
Oh my god, yeah.
I'm going to be
kicking myself for weeks
over random.
What was the one
where you just played
President,
what's his name?
Hyde Park.
Yeah.
Hyde Park on Hudson.
That's why I can't remember it
because it's like
the title is boring.
Yeah.
And you go see the movie
and it's confirmed. Makes Gosford yeah and you go see the movie and it's
confirmed makes gosford park look like a great redemption right oh i thought of another fucking
one get low oh yeah this is a crazy game you guys i can't wait to play it again and uh you've got
your uh improv long form improv troupe in bethleh Yeah, if you're in the Lehigh Valley, Lehigh.
Lehigh.
Next Tuesday and Wednesday night, I think the 17th, 18th, we've got some shows.
Check us out on Facebook and Twitter.
4 a.m. in Thailand.
Go see Keith Moser do long-form improv, you guys.
Thank you.
Do you want your Linda back?
Yeah, get that thing back to her.
Yeah, I don't want to take this home with me at all.
This is scary as fuck.
And you never let me down, Philadelphia.
I'll come back next year.
And one more time for all of my guests,
Graham Elwood out in the lobby,
Preston and Steve,
Keith Moser,
Keith Moser And as always
Elvira Gulch is a shithead
Isn't that like the name of the
Witch in Wizard of Oz maybe?
Yeah she's a
She's a shithead that goes without saying though
Professional wrestler Triple H is a shithead.
And Michael Vick's smiley face is a shithead.