Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. Cameron Buchholtz
Episode Date: June 28, 2013Comedians Cameron Buchholtz and Graham Elwood play the Leonard Maltin Game at the City Arts Center in Oklahoma City, OK.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy ...Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug Loves Movies! What a Doug Benson day it was. I'll play the audio of comedians Cameron Buchholz and Graham Elwood playing the Leonard Maltin game
at the City Arts Center in Oklahoma City at the end of this mini.
Well, it's going to be most of this mini, actually, but you know what I mean.
There's a lot of physical stuff, a lot of speaking that is difficult to understand,
so good luck.
But if you were there, thanks for coming,
and thanks for being so cool.
From the corrections department,
yesterday I said it was 150 degrees in Vegas.
It was actually 115.
Sorry if my mistake ruined any of your plans.
Minneapolis, Twin Cities, let's do it.
Tickets are going fast for my stand-up show
at Acme Comedy Company on Thursday, July 11th,
and for the Douglas Movies taping at the Varsity Theater on Friday, July 12th.
And San Francisco, celebrate 7-10 with me at the Punchline.
If you don't know what 7-10 means, look it up.
DouglasMovies.com for links to these and other shows.
And now let's go to the Oklahoma City show last night
where the crowd was so nice things got a little dark.
We joined just as a bane-off between me and Graham Elwood is ending.
Enjoy.
Or at least try to enjoy.
That's obscure.
Yeah, yeah.
And the podcast listeners are joining us mid-bane- off, and they just caught the tail end of that, but now we've got to say what's in the prize bag, which is hard for me to do and hold this phone at the same time.
You guys have microphones in your hands.
Here, reach in there, pull out each item, and I'll just try it.
That's good.
I should say this is...
That hang-up pulse is reaching for the bag.
This is way more simple than it should be.
Oh, my God.
Wait, did that really just happen?
It's like the horrible claw game where you just can't get anything.
This is a San Diego Comic-Con edition of the Infinite.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Robert Kirkman, you know him from Walking Dead.
And then we've got a, oh this is a cool camera,
this is like kind of a nod to your neck of the woods.
Flip it over there, the other side,
I sign in front of it, it's like a program
from Fantastic Fest, this amazing film festival
in Austin, Texas, where we were lucky enough to show the greatest movie ever rolled last September.
And those shows were really fun. And a copy of Smug Life.
And a couple of poor guy movies.
Yeah, there it is.
Wow, that's like, the way that's displayed, that looks like, This is like some Bryce's right shit.
We should have people quote and guess how much that's worth.
It's gotta be at least 15, 16 bucks.
If you can spin the wheels, I'll throw a poker down.
And you can have my showcase showdown.
Parapet, spade, and nubit. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don will not, I don't do Lincoln impressions, I only do bacon.
And English people.
Are we good?
I'm good, I'm good.
I'm sorry.
Let's see some name tags, I promise.
Oh shit, that's why.
Best Ted Benson day ever. Thank you. I'm sorry. Let's see some name tags.
Oh, shit.
That's why.
Best time medicine day ever.
You guys are awesome.
You will run gigantic signs.
Take control of the Mitch on the Batman logo.
Graham, I am your friend.
Oh, this guy is your reckoning.
He wants to go head to head.
You want a bag of gluten? Yes. Oh, this guy is reciting. He wants to go head to head. You have a bag of gluten?
Oh, you motherfucker.
The guy from Dallas is here. He's got a dude on Little Boobies 2.
And in Chinese letters it says Sam. Right?
Sam? Goddamn it. I'm not as stupid as I am.
You have a shag VHS? That's amazing, sir. That you went to a dollar store.
A Shazam screener.
A Shazam screener? How the fuck did you get that? Are you in the Shazam PR department?
I have no idea. I found it. It's like a garage sale.
I just picked it up. That was in a garage sale? That wasn't in a collectible shop? No way. Really?
collectible shelf? No way, really?
It's got a sword,
wings over Eric, banana.
Nice, you guys did a fucking great job.
Yeah, this is amazing.
I just picked Paul purely because he had Paul Stanley on his.
I can't just ignore the StarCraft.
He's got all the Pauls on there.
I've seen this before, and I think I named most of them.
I only care about the Paul Stanley.
Okay.
I like Paul Sheeran's cool. Paul Rudd is good.
I feel like having Mark Paul Gosselaar on there is kind of a cheat though, because it's like, he's a Mark, not a Paul.
I will rock and roll all day and party every night.
Alright, gluten fucking bane. You motherfucking challenged me with a bag of gluten.
It's like my kryptonite.
Don't get it.
These stars are amazing, you guys. Round of applause for all your stars.
You guys, every year,
rise to be true.
That's awesome, man.
Let's also give a round of applause to Sunshine.
It's all around the lot. It's nice.
Enjoying it on my face.
I think that'll be good.
Oh, that's gonna stay.
It's not gonna work.
Yeah, that's not gonna...
How long are we gonna watch this?
Jim Jane had torture.
Oh, you got an idea, son?
Oh!
That's how long we've watched idea, son! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm telling you, gluten is pretty strong.
Okay, so... So Cameron is playing for Paul,
and Graham is playing for Dane.
And thanks again to everyone for bringing the name tags.
And just a quick announcement.
I think next year, on Saturday, June 28th,
for the fifth annual Doug Benson Day,
we do a Doug Loves Movies tape.
Oh!
Ooh!
Jack, congratulations!
I hope all of you find it.
That's right, I'm going to say...
I'll be back.
Oh, we still have to talk about that, but I will be here...
for the fifth time.
I will be back.
For the fifth time.
You know, I'm a traditionalist.
I like traditions.
And Graham's been here every year.
So until one of us is dead.
Well, I'm going to Afghanistan.
Hopefully.
I'm hoping the world doesn't lose both of us at the same time.
So that's why I don't want to travel with you anymore.
I worry about my adopted children.
I know.
What are they going to do?
Let's play a volleyball game.
Was that coming anyway?
Did I miss something there?
No, the crowd was just really bummed out thinking about us both being dead.
Sure.
Well, folks, we're not dead.
We'll be back.
We're not a zombie apocalypse
eating your city alive.
We'll come back and play the game.
You just made it worse.
Yeah, I did.
I can't make it worse.
Nothing like a little letter ball game to... Let's have Cameron pick a category.
All right.
Between...
Oh, that one seems inappropriate.
After what was just said.
This is like a kid.
Alright, I'll say it.
Finding chemo.
And that's movies with a character who has cancer.
Yeah, that was inappropriate.
Wait, I got that.
I mean, it's always inappropriate, but there's something about piling it on top of
some other inappropriate talk that makes it more...
Yeah, it's like an inappropriate sandwich.
Like an inappropriate BLT.
Oh, can I get that without tomato?
That sounds great right there.
Do you want your inappropriateness without tomato?
Yes, please.
Super rhyming.
That's movies that have rhyming titles.
Yeah.
For instance, we're in Oklahoma,
North Dallas 40.
Way to the ground,
no actual connection.
But North Dallas 40,
movies that have malt liquor in them.
Movies with malt liquor in them.
I'm going to go find a chemo.
Okay.
That's the way to go.
I love it.
Camera buckles, ladies and gentlemen, find a chemo.
This Doug Benson day has yet to disappoint.
It's been going great, hasn't it, Graham?
It's been great.
Like, it was a great travel day. Everything was on time.
Or one thing was late, I had to change a tire.
They talked us through it.
It's going to be five minutes, everybody.
It's going to be two minutes, everybody.
All right, we're almost ready to go.
We've got to talk all the way through.
Boom.
Ow.
Yeah.
Landing nice.
Got here.
Had some nice treats.
What are you talking about?
There's a truth backstage.
The coconut water.
The coconut water.
The soap and the water.
That's the drinking soap water, ladies and gentlemen.
You're fine.
He will drink drink.
No.
All right, so maybe we'll do another one of those movies next year.
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ!
No!
Not without my baby!
We'll have more fun.
It's gonna be on a Saturday. Friday's
a rough night to get up to a show and not
be in a weird mood.
Right?
It wasn't getting here by 7.30, kind of like
didn't everyone have to move quickly?
Yeah.
That's a frustrating moment to be in when you're going to see
just to have some fun.
I've got to get there for the fun.
Hurry up and ask for fun.
God damn it, these fucking assholes are in front of me.
They're not going to fun. They're going to their boring homes.
They're on my way.
Yeah, yeah, they're going to start to get stupid. Yeah. Only people who want to have fun should be on the streets. I'm gonna go to their boring homes. Get out of my way, you fucking stupid!
Only people wanna have fun should we go to the streets!
Oh, yeah! Yeah, motherfucker!
That's fucking right, Dave!
Suck it!
You cannot defeat myself soul, my friend.
How did you get in?
You're a slapper.
I did more than slap it.
I isn't dead to it.
I hurled a fucking microphone at that thing
and it still,
it still stills.
It still stills.
So,
good job.
And of course, another guest just dropped by
from american bb
no way Sometimes I take a fall over the building in the morning, and then I trip-trap.
Cameron, would you like a movie with a character that has cancer in it from 1983 or 2011?
I will go with 2011. Alright.
Leonard gives
this movie three stars.
He says
that
it grabs to
the weird knuckle dance.
He says about it
that it's based on a real life experience.
Are we playing one or two points?
This is it.
Sudden death.
Sudden death, yes.
Sudden death?
Yeah.
Okay.
We want to schedule it.
We want to meet everybody.
Okay.
We want to greet everybody.
Oh, yeah.
Then we have to go to a meet and greet.
Oh.
Today's subject is great.
The movie, a letter calls it,
Sure Footed.
Yeah, Sure Footed.
Boy, this movie's got some loose footing.
A movie in which someone has cancer and you list eight names.
It's based on a true story?
Based on real life events.
How many names do you think you're gonna get on camera?
I think I could do it in negative two names.
Kid loves his cancer movies.
What are you doing on the ground?
I know what it is.
I'm just trying to think of a third name.
How much time do you think
I'm going to give you for that?
Five minutes.
And how hard is it to think of the name
when I keep asking you questions?
It's difficult.
And I'm a son of a...
Best of both worlds.
God damn it.
Cameron, you shitty little motherfucker.
Tim Names.
Does he know it?
Is he going to get it in the right order?
Well, I don't know what your name is.
You clearly don't, because you're the one who's going to have to use that name in the
dance.
You're talking to my audience, aren't you?
Camera, chair, why don't you have a little sound of me?
Yeah!
Sam LaBam!
Sam LaBam.
Sam LaBam.
He's way too tall.
It's an answer.
Sam LaBam. I can't believe that guy walked through there. I'm going to give you an extra five minutes. Sam with Bam. Sam with Bam. Sit down, sir.
I can't believe that guy walked through there.
I'm gonna give you an extra five minutes. That was really distracting.
I had a great shirt on, so you were like,
oh shit, should I stop thinking about it?
Wait, that camouflage shirt sounds
so all I saw was a calf and a torso.
Um... Somebody made a noise with some hole in their body.
Ah! Shit.
I'm gonna go negative three names.
Oh, you did it. I'm gonna go negative three names.
Oh, you did it.
Cameron's taking a sip of some... It's a name I heard.
All right.
Name that movie, sir.
All right, so...
I'm not gonna say yes or no to any of it.
Just say the name of the movie and the title.
How many?
Three names.
50-50.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Angelica Houston.
Okay, that would be my guess, but my actual answer is...
God dammit!
The third bill is Pass the Future
against Anna Kendrick.
I couldn't call her name. I knew it was gonna go
up in the air in the mountains.
I was like, maybe it was Anna Kendrick, but I was like,
does Houston get a bigger billing because he's been a
like...
Yeah, that's an interesting
thought process you had there.
But it was J.G.L. Toppill and then Roman, correct?
But unfortunately, you are the loser.
But answer that question
and you are a little flung in the
neocon.
What character are you?
It's weird not getting a cross
between Werner Herzog and Bane.
Yeah, that's just weird.
Bane is definitely from Austria now.
That's what we know.
I am from a cave
deep in the mountains.
Where's the fear?
Where's the thought?
It's a new shadow.
So Paul is our winner.
Congratulations, Paul.
Oh, God.
All right.
Don't get your bag of stuff.
Answer my question.
Look, JGL was top bill, right?
Was JGL then Rogan?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Do you want to hear it side note?
Yeah.
That's all that troubles.
I give this back to you, Dave.
You should know the guy for that, I believe.
So I will happily say that.
You can tear it off.
In a moment.
I can tear it off.
He needs an A-T stack. This is not happening.
Here we go.
Thank you guys, front row, for your assist.
This is a good one.
Anything else we need to say?
Thank you for everybody.
This is so fun.
It's four years in a row.
You guys are awesome.
I'm so glad that this is that same great experience that we all had.
Thank you, Peter, for the first one again.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We can do this. We can do this. We can do this. you guys are awesome. That's my job. And I'm so glad that this is that same great experience that we all have.
And thank you Peter for putting this together.
We can never get enough.
And I remember...
I was joking around about not doing it,
other than...
Yeah, we're not bad.
...I'm committed to those movies next year.
The ladies, you guys are awesome.
You guys are great.
You guys are awesome. And always are great. You guys are awesome.
Always a blast.
You guys are a cult for the church.
I fucking love this place.
And I should have said Anna Kendrick,
and that's my fault, and I'm gonna come up with a good one.
I'm joking, Houston. God damn it.
Are you reading while talking into a microphone?
Just wandering off with a mic in your hand.
Sorry. Just hear you with the mic in your hand.
I just hear you in the green room.
God damn it.
I don't think I'm going to know that.
Talk is useless.
I wasn't thinking.
I'm talking to you.
I'm talking to you.
God damn it.
He's the mic engineer.
The more I think about it,
the more I think about it.
Maybe Bryce Dallas Howard
built a pie of it
and it's a little useless.
Now when I think about it,
what if that was that fewer used to be? And just because it didn't come into like the second act, now when I think about it, what does that fewer use to mean?
It just means
it didn't come into
like the second act.
Like it doesn't make sense.
Max Hecker.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Philip Baker Hall,
Jessica Parker Kennedy.
Yeah,
Philip Baker Hall
is the name of the
one in there.
Okay, I apologize. All right. The glib's made of me. I apologize.
Alright.
The gluten weakened me.
But I got too close to the gluten, and I fucking had a brain mistake.
What is happening right now?
I'm wondering on the stage, I'm ready to wrap it up, but you're walking around like,
let's just, we gotta talk through some things.
I've been inspired by the, uh,
I've been inspired by the, uh, You guys smell so much goddamn weed backstage, I always get talk through space. And I've been inspired by the, uh... I remember, I remember!
I was the entertainer of the location.
You guys spelt so much goddamn weed backstage,
I always get a contact.
I said, oh, why, why, why,
lady, sit down!
Lady, hey, sit down!
Um...
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,
you're a rock and roll.
That's why they choose the leader,
Greg E. K. David.
Alright, I'm sorry.
Alright, good night, Graham.
You're supposed to sit at the lunch table.
Good night.
Graham, are you here?
Thank you so much!
Yes!
Great job, thank you.
Both of you did a great job. Great job, President Hughes. Thank you, President Hughes.
And as always, Comedy Club patrons who can quietly and gracefully handle the check drop
is our shithead.
Now it's time we're done to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies