Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. The World
Episode Date: May 28, 2012Graham Elwood plays the Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at Zanies Comedy Club in Nashville, TN....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at... https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming maybe sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug Loves Movies!
Hey everybody, my name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies, special mini boner Soad coming to you from my hotel room on May 28th to Ocean's 12th.
I'm in Nashville, Tennessee, where Graham and I did two stand-up shows at Zany's Comedy Club on 420 yesterday and on Saturday.
And we played the Leonard Maltin game with audience members, with the prize bag including a guest spot to the person who beats Graham
by the lowest number of names over the two shows.
That person will join Graham and Sean Cullen as guests at the Douglas Movies taping
that we're doing this afternoon at Zany's,
and you'll be able to listen to soon, hopefully in about a week.
And you'll be able to listen to soon, hopefully in about a week.
But for now, let's listen to Saturday's Graham Elwood vs. the World, right after the fart sound.
As I turn on, just like I just did, I turn on my recording device on my phone, and we record it so whoever participates today and all of you that are sitting here enjoying this will you know all be on the podcast
probably as early as tomorrow maybe yeah so let's see your name tags everybody
listeners of the podcast made these are some elaborate ones. There's an iPad with Jess written on it.
We get that a lot.
What's that supposed to be, Matt?
Matt?
You just wrote your name on a dry erase board?
All right, good.
So you can erase it later.
Do I get the football coach or something?
Yeah, he did the name.
It said, open hearts can't lose.
What's the expression, Graham? Open hearts can't lose. What's the expression, Graham?
Open hearts can't lose.
Clear minds.
That's it.
We got a beaver from Caddyshack
over there, right?
Not a beaver.
What was it?
They had a beaver problem
on that golf course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're setting up those dams and they put them on golf course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
What the fuck?
We're trying to play golf here.
What am I going to slice the ball into
without a tree, you stupid beaver?
There's a Superman underwear over there.
Has he got your underwear, dude?
I'm wearing Batman, bitch.
Oh, okay.
Let's try that he's right in this area.
The Dark Knight.
I...
No, I just wanna be in your Batcave.
Come on!
Bonus jokes.
Now I'm not looking forward to Dark Knight Rises.
That was gonna be my favorite movie this summer,
and you ruined it.
With your bat dick.
With my underwear on.
Now, do you ladies have a lot of shrubbery
in front of your bat cave?
Remember?
They show down like an old school TV.
Yeah, on the TV show they have all those drums
and they just go brrm, knock on the door, drive in.
Alright, what else
have we got? We got some large
green balls.
Like softballs.
Green ones for night play.
For night softball.
With the lights off.
And there's a
Nightmare Before Christmas
poster over there.
Pick my wife!
My wife!
Oh, you want us to pick her?
Two signs.
She's wearing a palm strike shirt, so she's really
full-time sucking up to you.
She probably
has bad girl underwear on.
Have you got vegan treats?
Oh, vegan treats, buddy.
Somebody has my hot spot.
All right, so who do you want to play against, Graham?
I'm going to go palm strike vegan treats.
All right, get up here.
And give all yourself
a round of applause for making all these
turn-out-of-the-way fans.
And as always,
if she loses, we'll
pick somebody else and have them come up
and play a round of the Leonard Maldonians.
Oh, you brought me pretzel M&M's.
Holy cow.
Aren't you an angel? Thank you so much.
So what's your name?
The Night Before Christina.
Let me see.
Okay, Night Before Krista. Okay, I me see. Okay, Nightmare Before Christa.
Okay, I got it.
So what we're going to do is we're going to play one round of Leonard Maldon.
And if you beat Graham, will you be, first of all, can I record your voice for the podcast?
Yes.
Yes.
And she said it.
And then secondly, will you be able to come here on Monday and be the third guest on the taping of Pilgrim's Movies?
Yes.
Right here at St. Easy National. Very nice.
Do you already have a ticket for that?
No.
No? Oh, she's really counting on this win.
And we're going to do this again tomorrow, so if you beat Graham today, we'll have to get your info,
because it's going to be the person who beats Graham by the
widest... He beats him the worst.
Beats him the worst, yes.
Whoever is more devastating to him
in his psyche will be
emotionally, it'll be whoever is more
emotionally devastating. Yes.
Same for taking that seriously, guys.
Yeah, but everybody got very serious.
Okay, those are fair rules.
Graham's emotional temperature will determine who the fair guess is on Mondays.
That would be a terrible system.
Okay, so I'm going to let you pick a category from the Leonard Moulton app on my phone.
Would you like Hanks for Nothing? That's movies, that's Tom Hanks movies
that got one star or less from Leonard.
One star or bomb.
Or would you like
someone named
Opportuniver on Twitter
suggested Killing Me Softly.
That's a movie where someone
is murdered with a pillow.
That's the best way to do it.
Wait, what?
That's the best way to murder someone?
It is.
Go on a road trip with a buddy that you hate, and then when you're sleeping, you just...
Oh, you gotta have a weird song when you do it?
You gotta have a weird song.
You have to sing a weird song.
Okay.
And then the third
option is,
today,
celebrating a birthday,
is director and actor,
comedian,
Bobcat Goldthwait.
So, yeah.
Bobcat!
So, the films
of Bobcat Goldthwait.
Which one of those
three would you like
to play?
Pillow Kill.
Don't touch my microphone.
Pillow Kill.
Just stroke it.
Goldthwait.
Goldthwait.
Take your rings off.
And then have at the bat pool.
Or, uh,
Hanks for Nothing.
Hanks for Nothing.
Excellent choice, ladies and gentlemen.
Hanks for Nothing and Jake Sporfree.
This is from, and don't yell out in the audience if you happen to know the answer,
although I don't know why I'm saying that, because you guys are the most
docile crowd
that we've done this in front of in a while.
From 1990
is when this movie came out.
Leonard Maltin called it a bomb.
That's right.
And I don't think he gave any other Tom Hanks
movie a bomb designation.
And he says it's appalling.
That makes sense.
And he also says about the movie that F. Murray Abraham appears unbilled.
So F. Murray Abraham, remember him from Amadeus?
He shows up in the movie, and they don't give him credit.
But Leonard likes to give credit where credit is due.
He's also in a Tom Selleck prison movie.
Oh, An Innocent Man.
Yes.
Okay, let's play this game.
You just went boom to people in the front row.
Superman, he's fucking, you know,
the dark knight doesn't quite get it.
He's an ocean fish and play.
He's fucking good guy.
He's fucking this guy.
Saw his parents killed.
He's ready to fuck some people up.
Ugh.
I don't understand.
This is like, this is like,
this is what I was doing.
This is what I was doing.
I was screaming.
My great-grandchildren came to see me.
Are you okay?
Are you talking to him or me?
I was counting up the names.
A lot of names.
Had to count them up.
22 names are listed by Leonard Moulton,
but not F. Murray Abraham.
Not F. Murray,
because he went unbilled.
How many names do you think you can guess this?
Tom Hanks, bomb.
How many names do you think it would take you?
Krista did you
think 1990 the year is 1990 a lot of the a lot of the audience members usually
don't go that bold with their bidding strategy.
So, Graham, you can go into negative names.
If he says negative one name, he has to name the top billed person.
If he says negative two, he has to name the two.
But you also have to get the movie right.
So what are you thinking you're going to do here, Graham?
It's a tough decision.
Negative one.
Oh, he says negative one.
So do you think you can go negative two, she says.
Negative two.
Negative three can get pretty tricky, Graham.
What are you going to do besides taking a dump on the stage?
What are you going to do besides taking a dump on the stage?
Name that movie, young lady!
Okay, gave her the mic, but she doesn't get to touch it.
Don't touch it.
What's the name of the movie?
Bonfire in the Vanity Fair. That is correct.
Who are?
Hang on.
That was the easy part.
They both knew that.
Who are... Hang on. That was the easy part. They both knew that.
So now, who is the absolute top-billed performer in this movie?
And then who is number two?
Grace Millar.
That is correct!
Yeah!
The winner!
That was amazing! That was amazing!
That was amazing!
Very well done. I don't know, but I found out before you.
I got an impressive wins.
If you had gone three names, who would you have guessed was third building that?
Melanie Griffith.
Yeah, she was right.
Melanie Griffith.
I can't go anywhere.
Yeah, no.
Because then the next name is Kim Cattrall.
I don't even remember her being in that.
I think she plays a hooker or something.
Just like she does on Sex and the City.
Alright, so this means that tomorrow we're going to play,
and I'm not going to warn people about this,
because some people might not show up,
they might not be into it,
but tomorrow we're going to play with audience members,
and somebody has to go deeper than two negative names.
To be the person to play with us on Monday.
So, Krista, we'll see you on Monday.
Yeah.
That's what a polite crowd you guys are.
In L.A., if I didn't say what was in the prize bag,
they would lose their minds and start yelling,
prize bag, prize bag.
But here, you guys are like, do it the way you want, Doug.
So here's what you're playing for, Krista.
And we'll play the whole game over again.
I went to the breakfast buffet at my hotel this morning
and got you some Froot Loops.
Also a copy of Graham's CD,
Palm Strike Dance Party.
Palm Strike Dance Party.
Yeah, a Freak Dance sticker from the Freak Dance from Matt Messer and UCB, and my first CD, Professional Humoridian, and you know, I still got Weezer stuff,
this is whatever you call this thing, and then it's like a vinyl, but it's a single. Seven inch. That's right.
I got it down at Subway Sandwich Shop.
And then a Douglas Movies t-shirt.
Yeah, to go with your Palmstripe t-shirt.
That's amazing.
All right, there you go.
There's all your prizes.
And you'll come back and play for an audience member
On Monday, let's hear it for Krista, everybody
That was amazing
I was glad to lose
To somebody
Yeah, and Graham and I
We're going to do the merch table outside
You can get Paul Strike shirts
And Paul Strike Dance Party CDs
And Krista, do come see us at the table
Give us your last name And we'll make sure that you're set up for Monday
and I can't imagine someone doing better than her tomorrow she really she knocked
it down so congratulations to her
My wife!
My wife did it!
Yay!
No more strife!
I can go back to my life!
I'll cut you with a knife!
Wait, what? My favorite TV character is a 45!
That's a good one to end on.
That's a good one to end on.
Holy crap fart.
Negative two names.
Seems like a done deal, doesn't it?
Well, before I play Sunday's show,
let me get in a couple of plugs.
We're taping at Douglas Movies in Baltimore
at the Comedy Factory on Saturday, June 9th at 420.
Three special guests, one of whom has been on the show before
and two of whom have not.
And I'll be doing two Benson movie interruptions
in the Cinema Tent at Bonnaroo on Thursday, June 7th
and Friday, June 8th at 4.20.
Thursday is going to be Crank 2 High Voltage.
Leonard Maltin says about that movie that it's worth one and a half stars
and is brainless and tasteless and features gratuitous violence and sex.
Yeah, sounds pretty good to me.
And then on Friday we're going to show Rambo.
And Leonard gave that 2008 classic one and a half stars as well,
calling it needlessly bloody and unintentionally laughable.
Perfect for interrupting.
Now let's see what happened on Sunday during Graham Elwood vs. the World.
Plus a special guest.
Yeah, Sean Cullen, who is good at yelling like a southerner, stopped by to, I don't know if help out is the right word for it, but he participates.
So check it out.
Hey, everybody.
We're on stage at Zadie's in Austria.
Hey!
Last day of TC! Over the electric cat monkey! And they just go right along with it.
Yeah! Cat monkey for everybody!
We've got one!
That's Sean Cullen and Grant Olwin is also here and we're about to play the Leonard Mulde game.
I'm going to tell you guys what's in the prize bag because it's a pretty great prize bag.
Twizzlers.
Twizzlers.
Yeah, yeah, East Coast movie snack.
If you're on the West Coast, you're going to have to have red vines.
Skittles, wild berry.
Wild berry!
Eat that one!
Ride it!
It's going to take a long time to get through this if you do that.
Every item.
Ride it in the local flavor.
The local flavor is wild berry Skittles. That is the local flavor is Wild Mary's Kittles.
That is the local flavor. We got Sean, Sean Cullen's CD, I Am a Human Man.
I am a human man!
Woo!
We got one!
That's my southern hat brand.
We got a hat, What's this hat?
This is from the 2008 MLS All-Star Game in Toronto.
Oh, I had a friend who died from MLS.
Wow, I'm terrible. Luke Herrick.
Luke Herrick died in Major League Soccer.
Today, Luke Eric died of Major League Soccer.
Taking back a victory, I consider myself the most unbeaten man in the world.
We've got a Graham Elwood Palm Strike Dance Party CD. Palm Strike Dance Party!
We got sexy palms!
We've got one of my CDs.
And then this is the most exciting prize to me because there's so many young adults in the crowd tonight.
I know.
I write books for young adult audiences.
Yeah, yeah.
Published by, is that a penguin in the corner?
It is my penguin.
Penguin, yeah, yeah.
And this particular one.
We got penguins!
Salute! Yeah, yeah. And this particular one. We got penguins! Sally!
Morgan Freeman approached the narration of that movie all wrong.
He should have been like, we got penguins!
Look at them! Just fucking look at them!
Look at the goddamn penguins coming right in your goddamn face!
They should put that out on 3D. They should do a reissue of Happy Feet.
What was that movie? Yeah, Happy Feet.
Happy Feet 3D.
The Morgan Freeman's narration of Happy Feet would be,
This is stupid.
It would have been totally different.
But anyway, the book is called The Prince of Neither Here Nor There.
And it's part of a, is this one a trilogy?
Is that what you're telling me?
It's two of those.
Two of these.
It's a double G.
Double G.
Double G.
It is a double G.
Dualogy we call it in the...
Yeah.
I think I also got some lotion from my hotel room.
So it's a pretty amazing project.
Hope your hands are good to chat! my hotel room, so it's a pretty amazing prize bag.
Hope your hands are good to chat!
If you use the word amazing loosely, this is an amazing bag of stuff.
And someone's gonna win it today,
but they're also gonna win a chance,
not a chance, but they could possibly win
the opportunity of sitting on stage with these two fools.
Coming out of my recording voice! That was in the pocket.
I'm gonna be working the shit out of that one.
Tonight, and every night, tomorrow afternoon,
when we return for Douglass Movies, live in Nashville.
So, let's see those ring tags! Let's see them all!
We got Big Cookie, we got Cooley High, we got The Avengers, we got a guy who just wrote
his name on a 3x5 card.
That's impressive.
Are you getting name tags in the balcony?
No?
No, just waving them.
Just waving.
Just waving hands.
We don't need tags!
We got hands!
Nice.
We got one!
Some rambles. There's a lightsaber over there. Shit. We don't need chimes, we got hands! Nice.
So Graham, oh, there's a lightsaber over there?
That's a ball.
Yes, a ball, and it's so tiny and far away.
These balls are bigger and green, I would imagine.
Isn't that big, green, the balls?
Yeah, so Graham, who would you like to play against?
Oh, let me see.
Oh, wow, she is went in there and found out some fucking thing.
She just ruined the thing.
I'm gonna have to go Luke with the lightsaber.
This is gonna be a round of applause.
Good luck with this.
Lightsaber!
Me! I am the fire!
I'm gonna cut off your hand, boy need to do is let me one more time!
Take that behind the chest or get me whoopin'!
You're a fucking... You came up here as the witch of the Empire! Emperor! Right? You're a goddamn traitor!
Shiiiit! You're the religion, the empire, emperor, right? You're a goddamn traitor! SHIT!
If you like yelling, come on down to the Zanes
and be sure to take a shit to listen to the bathroom yelling.
The people pipe that shit down the shitter.
We don't spare the shit up.
Um, do I have any pickings?
No, no, no. It's just Graham. It's got to be you guys.
So give yourself a hand.
Hello, Colliery and Knuckles.
Could you say, uh...
Give Logan a big round of applause.
Yeah, you too.
Is that your Chewbacca concert?
Yes.
Lightsabers, a part of living.
No, that's life savers, I'm sorry.
Take it back, take it back.
Take it back.
All right, dude, hold it up, dude.
Hold it, goddamn, sorry about that.
Do you think you're gonna be good at this, Luke?
Yes.
Well, should I do it like,
I don't wanna eat it when I'm eating,
can you put it in a space? I would just yell at him.
Well, I can listen to him for a couple of years.
Put it in his face.
What does that look like?
Give me that microphone.
I don't want to just stand there yelling at him and nobody will really hear it.
I'll yell and bleed in.
You guys can both do it.
I'm a skilled interviewer.
So, Luke, do you think you're going to be good at this game?
Yes.
Thank God we liked that.
That was fucking amazing.
We don't want to listen to this egg roll.
Tell me why people listen to unanswered questions.
All right, here we go.
I'm going to give you categories to choose from.
And audience members, please don't yell out if you think you know it, because this is just between Luke and Graham.
Meow.
Yeah.
Luke, would you like to play?
At ShortRoss9 on Twitter suggested, in theaters pow.
In theaters pow.
That's movies that are based on comic books.
Comic book movies. Or, at Sunny Prospect suggested,
what to infect when you're infecting.
Which is movies about plagues.
Plague movies.
Which are always fun.
And then, hang on.
And then, your third option
is, I bet you don't know
the full title.
This is a movie where I think most people
don't know what the actual full title
of the movie is.
So I'm basically
saying this category is so hard
you probably shouldn't pick it.
That's why you couldn't pick it, right?
No, which one do you want to play, Lou?
In Theater's Pow. In Theater's Pow.
In Theater's Pow.
All right, this is a comic book movie.
Actually, I've narrowed it down to two.
Would you like a movie based on comic books from 1966 or 1978?
Which one would you like, Luke?
78.
Use the force, Luke.
Use the force, Luke!
All right. 78. The force is with you, Luke. Use the force, Luke! Alright.
78, the force is with you, Luke.
You better support a bunch of Jim!
People have yelled out
every variation of it. There's no
force it, Luke.
Force it, Luke!
There's no
I've got your force right here, Luke.
Three and a half stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie.
Have you got any force?
Go fish.
I was wrong.
Give Luke the microphone.
All right, three and a half stars.
We're going up.
We're going up.
1978.
Leonard calls this movie based on comic books dynamic, grandly entertaining,
and he also says about this movie that it's great fun.
And he lists five, six, seven, eight, 11, 14, 16.
No, it doesn't stop.
20 names.
He lists 20 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Luke? No, you only get it in 16. No, it doesn't stop. 20 names. You list 20 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Luke?
No, you only get 16.
16 names. That's a good, strong opening.
I'm going to go with zero.
Oh, no. Graham says zero names, Luke. What do you do with that? Where do you go from there?
Let's get Luke a microphone so he can say what he wants to do next. Does the movie Superman mean anything to anybody?
That is correct. Who do you have to defeat? If you were to find Pitman 2,
would it have been Christopher Reeve and
Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman, right?
No, what were you going to say?
Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder?
That would be correct.
Yeah.
According to Len's version,
he changes it up.
Because when that movie came out,
it was famous for Marlon Brando being top billed
even though he's just Jor-El and he dies 20 minutes.
He got, like, at the time,
he got something like $5 or $10 million.
He got $100 million.
The little kid in a cake.
Yeah, he got, like, a second of my money
for that time period for literally, like, eight seconds.
Yeah, he got a fucking bunch of cake money.
Well, thank you, Luke, for playing.
Thank you, Luke.
Nice try, Luke.
All right,
you guys came to yesterday's show.
Orange softballs.
Come on.
Oh, she's pointing.
All right.
Do you really think
those green softballs
are orange?
Jesus.
They're tangelos.
Get up here.
Come on, get up here, dude.
The lady has no confidence.
You jump off your way to fight your way in.
Nice.
Good job.
What's your name?
Josh.
Josh.
Okay, Josh has got his girlfriend's balls around his neck.
That's a weird sentence.
And you get to pick a category, Josh.
Would you like Peggy Sue Got Marley'd in Me?
That's movies where Kathleen Turner dies.
Or Keep It Crispy.
That's movies where someone is set on fire.
Or Or Leonard Part Six.
That's movies that were based on
writings of Elmore Leonard.
And I would tell you,
I would give you some clues
of what stuff he's written,
but that would give it away.
But he's behind the great TV series on FX
called Justify.
Which one would you like?
Keep It Crispy.
I'm in Malaysia.
Keep it crispy.
The river's on fire.
This is from 1974.
Oh.
Leonard Maltin gives it two and a half stars.
He calls this movie All-Star Idiocy.
And he also says that it won Oscars for Cinematography, Editing, and Best Song.
Yeah.
And he lists 14 names.
How many names did you get today, Josh? I'll start at fourteen.
That's a strong company name.
Well, much like your predecessor, I will say zero.
He's saying zero names in there!
He is fucking crazy!
So Josh, you have to get in a negative name,
say an old war-ass grand name,
and then leave the stage with your balls.
Thank you for your name.
No print balls.
Thanks, Paul.
Can you say it again?
Say it again?
The Clues?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All Star Idiocy won Oscars for cinematematography, Editing, and Song. And it's a movie where someone gets set on fire at some point.
From 1974.
Graham says zero names.
Name that movie.
Name it, Graham.
Is it The Towering First?
Let's hear another motherfucking example.
I would say...
You know what, Graham? Come on, Jack Spill! Quick, I want the E-Pack for me! Get out!
You know what, Graham? That was so dumb of me to tell you all the answers in the car on the way over.
I don't know, why did I do that?
Why would I give you all of the answers?
Just to humiliate all these nice people.
I knew Tyrone Inverno because I believe it's O.J. Simpson that catches on fire in there.
Or Steve McQueen catches on fire.
O.J. Simpson and spoiler alert lives
and I think
and he returns a cat
to the late
to the guy, to Fred Astaire
whose girl that he likes
who owned the cat
felt a horrible ugly death
but when you said all star cast I knew it
because Lauren Green is in that
Paul Newman is in that, Steve McQueen is in that,
Charlton Heston is in that.
No one would ever have to give me that answer
because I fucking know shit
because I'm in a goddamn podcast about comedy filmers.
I don't know that shit right now.
It's like New Year's Eve or Valentine's Day
if half of them died.
Those movies would be a lot better
if they had a body.
Yeah, set somebody on fire.
Jessica Biel, come on.
She's shit hot.
Set her on fire.
Alright, pick another contestant, man.
We gotta get out of here.
We're running over.
Alright, let's go.
We're going to decide who's going to be
the best.
Rice. Rice is cookie. Bryce and his cookie.
Bring up your name tag, Katie, come down.
Bring it up here.
The whole point is so we can know what your name is.
Bryce and Katie?
Here, hold it.
Just a second, I don't have to hold it.
I made it up.
Holy shit, tomorrow's gonna be fun.
Who's coming back tomorrow?
It's gonna be a good time.
No.
All right, pick a category, Bryce.
Would you like... Really long name titles, please.
Diane Keaton.
Diane Keaton, that's movies where Diane Keaton dies.
Grandma's Cock, that's the films of Jeff Garlin or
Me Love You Wrong Time
and that's movies that have time travel and romance
Me Love You Wrong Time
which one would you like?
we're trying to make you feel confident
oh wow
Dying Keaton. Alright, Dying Keaton dies in this movie. The year is 2005.
Leonard gives it three stars. He calls this movie warm hearted. He calls it a comedy drama.
And he says the cast couldn't be better better I think I've played this on the
show recently and then and he lists I don't listen to your show okay perfect
he lists you just wear the shirt the douglas moody shirt with my signature on it
he just bakes fucked up cookies hangs around waiting for someone to notice
no one can hear you that's listening to this podcast.
He can't say he's pumped up trying cookies
for the same money.
Hangs around like a goddamn loser.
I don't know if you know this.
It's a little hot outside.
Eleven days.
Sean, take the mic back. Jesus Christ.
Eleven days. Sean, take the mic back. Jesus Christ. Eleven days, Bryce.
Are you a bitch? I don't know.
What's your ass-hand to you there, beauty-tan?
Bryce, help me!
Now Bryce, here's the important thing to remember, Bryce.
You didn't get this in negative three days or even more to participate in tomorrow's show.
So, what's your okay name?
Still gonna get 11 names. 11 names, he says.
He's just going for the prize money.
I will go 8.
Brad says 8.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait, I'm gonna go negative 3.
Whoops!
I really get this game.
He just jumped to negative 3.
Oh, alright. Name that boob three. Alright, name the boobie.
Alright, what's it called?
What's it called?
Wait, he has to name the name.
He's going negative three.
So he's got to name the name.
But first he has to name the boobie.
He's gonna have to just walk away when he does and be back.
What's that about? What's he named? Super-Heine?
What? Super-Heine? Yes, everybody, is super hiney.
He thinks that someone died in super hiney, and that someone was a famous actress.
You have a dying pigeon. That's an amazing guest.
You don't know any of my work! You don't know any of my shit!
Take that shirt off! But I love. But I love his attitude so much.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Those are the worst.
You have the weirdest man tits I've ever seen.
All right, I need a titty from you.
Here's what I have.
People are demanding refunds
Put that shirt on
And be careful that your nipples don't cut through it
Holy crap
They're also demanding milkshakes
You win
You win
Here's the prizes
Sit the fuck down
Get the hell out of here, Bryce
Diane Keaton died in a movie called The Family Stone.
The Family Stone.
Spoiler alert.
Congratulations.
The girl from yesterday, Krista, is going to be the third contestant tomorrow.
At the Douglas Booth stage.
One more time for Pam Elwood!
Thanks, dude.
Wait, Sean Cullen. You're not done.
We need a quick, like, ending theme song to sum up what happened here today.
While we're here...
No, I can't do it. It's a Broadway song.
I ain't going nowhere until I get in a fight.
I came down here this afternoon and something just ain't right.
I yelled a lot of words and I made a lot of laughs.
But sometimes I try to touch myself in my pocket. I'm touching myself in my pocket and I'm touching myself right now.
I'm starting my recording device so I'm recording, I'm choosing myself right now. I'm starting my record class.
You know I'm for men now.
One day I'm happy.
I'll come back to you and say
I was just as lazy as the Vincent here today.
Yay!
Stop calling!
Thanks, buddy!
There you have it.
Bryce really did have the most unfortunate man tits I've ever seen.
Sorry, Bryce.
And Graham was on fire, keeping it crispy.
So, Krista Martin, also known as at Miss Krita on Twitter,
will be joining Sean Cullen and Graham Elwood
as my guests on a premium app,
Douglas Movies Live in Nashville,
which will be available soon or now
in the comedy album section of iTunes.
Get it to see if she can take down
two Douglas Movies titans.
Release the Graham!
Oh, and also, I just want to give
a little extra special bonus piece of information to people who actually listen to these minisodes.
Coming up soon at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on June 19th, I'm going to be taping an episode where I'm finally getting them together.
T.J. Miller, Pete Holmes, and Jeff Garlin all on the same show.
That's Tuesday, June 19th.
Don't tell anyone.
Just come to it if you're in Los Angeles
on that date.
Thanks for listening, and as always,
Bryce's boobs is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies