Doug Loves Movies - Greg Fitzsimmons, Brian Redban, and Billy Bonnell Guest

Episode Date: January 25, 2014

Live from the American Comedy Company in San Diego, Doug welcomes Greg Fitzsimmons, Brian Redban, and Billy Bonnell to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California ...Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey! Hey everybody! Hey, everybody. This microphone sounds not hot enough. Oh, this one's really nice. Can this one be like that one?
Starting point is 00:00:40 Yes, it can. That was like a magic trick. La, la, la. Boom, it can. That was like a magic trick. La, la, la. Boom, it works. Thank you, American Comedy Company, for giving me sound, for giving me amplification. My name is Doug, and I love movies.
Starting point is 00:01:01 This is Top of Movies. That was pretty good. Coming to you once again from the American Comedy Company, it's Sweet Home San Diego on Saturday, January 25th, 2014, Wolf of Wall Street Fighter. Let me see your name tags, Sandy D.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Oh, wow. I knew there'd be some good ones. How'd you guys get in the front row with no name tags? You practically look naked. Jeff, who lives at home in San Diego, and then your poster is all the great Jeffs from the history of cinema. Jeffrey Wright, Jeff Goldblum. And what is this one?
Starting point is 00:01:51 The Great Case? Like The Great Race, but your name is Casey. Oh, there's a little Y. I see Casey. And it's all pictures from The Great Race. If I was picking the name tags, then that would be my pick. Nicholas Collage. Coll pick. Nicholas Collage. Collage.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Nicholas Collage. And what's your name? Nick. Nick, okay. It's very, I don't even know what's happening right here. Calvin Marshall? That's your name? Calvin Daniels.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Okay. And then you wrote that on a piece of paper. Is there a movie tie-in there? There's a movie called Calvin Marshall? Oh, okay. Guess I don't love him as much as I thought I did. And then there's an album cover. Is that my face on the dogs? It's your face
Starting point is 00:02:52 And then who's the other guy? It's a dog With your face on it And then there's another guy who also has your face on him And it was Barry Manilow So it's your face on there? And it was Barry Manilow. So it's your face on there twice and it says, I love beagles. What about that makes you think
Starting point is 00:03:11 it's going to be chosen? Good luck, buddy. Los Angeles, Monday, the first ever Getting Doug with High live at Largo. Five special guests smoking in a semicircle on stage for your viewing and listening pleasure. Largo-LA.com for tickets. Use discount code GETDUG.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Please use it. It'll save you $10. And, of course, we'll attempt to stream it live at youtube.com slash Doug Benson at 9pm Pacific Standard Time. Stay up late, East Coast. Right? You can't all be San Diego
Starting point is 00:03:54 with this fucking beautiful weather. Yeah, it's ridiculous. From the corrections department, I was wondering why Bridget Fonda wasn't in movies anymore, and SlackerRock
Starting point is 00:04:11 wrote to me on Twitter saying that she left movies to start a family with composer Danny Elfman. To which I say, boo. I'd rather he quit and take care of the kids. I love Danny Elfman. I love
Starting point is 00:04:29 Ongo Boingo, but that was too good to pass up that joke. But also, his theme music to movies, I don't know. He hasn't done anything that's excited me lately, and she excites me always.
Starting point is 00:04:46 San Francisco, Benson movie interruption comes to SF Sketch Fest on Saturday February 8th at 420 I'm interrupting Twilight Part 2 New Moon So it's actually Twilight colon New Moon Go to sfsketchfest.com
Starting point is 00:05:02 To get your tickets Bay Arians That's not a good thing to call people go to sfsketchfest.com to get your tickets. Bay Arians. That's not a good thing to call people. We got a great prize bag. I got some underwear at the Gap the other day. So I got this bag, and it's bursting at the seams because of all the stuff that's in here. It's almost too much stuff for me to even deal with
Starting point is 00:05:31 without assistance. Some guy sent me this book. A guy named David Krokmal sent me a book called Am I Jesus or Am I Just Stoned? And I glanced at parts of it and it seemed to have some fun things to say. Interesting things about
Starting point is 00:05:54 weed and the Bible. So that's in the prize bag because I'm not going to read it. If you get the prize bag today, I would love it if you tweeted to me and told me all about your feelings about reading am I Jesus or am I just stone you know what I'm going to quit fucking around
Starting point is 00:06:14 and get the guests out here because this bag is deep with stuff that just reveals exactly who they are and then we've also got another bag of Steel C. Please welcome Billy Bonnell, Greg Fitzsimmons, and Brian Redband. Hey, now. Hey, American Comedy Company Can I have another
Starting point is 00:06:49 Like thing of water One of these Fiji waters Or something And also Fiji waters Could you now give me a lot of money For that free Free advertisement On a very popular podcast.
Starting point is 00:07:06 It's Greg Fitzsimmons, you guys. It's his first time. Thank you. Thank you. He's here this weekend headlining for the first time the American Comedy Company. Tonight and tomorrow. And you're having a blast?
Starting point is 00:07:22 It's a lot of fun. It's a little humiliating to have not sold out my last show here at 8pm and it's the afternoon and the place is fucking jammed well you know these people are smart they figured out they could see you here get kind of a twofer
Starting point is 00:07:42 no it's Saturday nights are becoming increasingly more difficult to like if I did this show it's Saturday night here some of you guys would have come and gotten in or whatever but a lot of you would have said fuck it and others wouldn't have gotten in because of just the regular folks that just
Starting point is 00:08:01 like it's Saturday night let's go to the American Comedy Company so then I'd have a bunch of people, the whole audience would be full of people like these two folks, who clearly don't know what's gonna happen today. And they're already baffled. They're like,
Starting point is 00:08:16 it's four people on stools. We didn't know. We didn't know it was gonna be a gang lecture. No, I don't know. Do you guys listen to the podcast? Oh, you do. You just didn't know it was going to be a gang lecture. No, I don't know. Do you guys listen to the podcast? Oh, you do. You just didn't make name tags because you're like, what are the odds we'll be in the front row
Starting point is 00:08:33 with perfect opportunity to get selected? And there you are. Also in the prize bag is a copy of Gateway, Doug, my album. But what did you put in here, Greg? You brought a video? Yeah, I just did a special on Comedy Central called Life on Stage. That's
Starting point is 00:08:52 the DVD-CD combo pack together. If you don't get it, go to Netflix. You can download it on Netflix for free. And I get no money for that. This is a nice keepsake. It is a keepsake.
Starting point is 00:09:08 And someday could be an heirloom. That's what happens to keepsakes. Brian Redband is here, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, Brian. What's up? What's up? Thank you for coming down from Los Angeles to be here. I know you love San Diego. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:28 Isn't Comic-Con, being in San Diego during Comic-Con is probably the best of all worlds. I think Comic-Con has become the new, like, AVN for me. I have more fun. I have more fun with, like... There's strangely more skin at Comic-Con than at ABN. I have more fun with Daria than I do with, like, you know, Nikki Bentz nowadays.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Those little girls that dress up in those cute little characters are so hot. Okay, Brian, it was nice talking to you. Did they let you into SeaWorld down here? Yeah, with my brony pass. You brought a couple of items from the clothing people, the Hundreds. Yeah. They do nice stuff.
Starting point is 00:10:13 And then describe this other shirt that you brought. This is a out-of-print, original, number one Death Squad shirt that has been not ever worn, and it's very rare. You could actually just probably sell it or it's a XXXL so you could probably give it to a fat girlfriend. More like fat ex-girlfriend. But yeah, that's the original shirt.
Starting point is 00:10:36 A lot of people want that shirt too. I just found it the other day. Sought after. Fight for it. Fight for it, San Diego. And I brought a Doug Loves Movies shirt, so you're going to be clothed for three days just by winning
Starting point is 00:10:51 tonight. And Billy Bonnell is here, everybody. Very funny. Funny comedian. From these parts, but now you live up in L.A. and you're available for parties up there. Private parties. Private parties.
Starting point is 00:11:09 So what's all that stuff in the bag, man? You brought a whole bag of your own. I think I overdid it. Yeah, look at that thing, you guys. My girlfriend... Clearing out his house. My girlfriend said you can't have the Padres bag since we don't already have six of them.
Starting point is 00:11:27 I brought three ninjas on DVD. If you can't tell, it's my personal copy. It has my initials on it. Makes the rest of us feel like we just brought turds. That was an explosion. I think I'm the only person that didn't bring something to promote myself I made a huge mistake
Starting point is 00:11:47 I also have a collection of Winona Ryder I have seen this so infrequently This is movies where Winona Ryder is drunk Yes It's a Winona Ryder collection It's four great movies at one low price. Also, believe it or not, I have two copies of this.
Starting point is 00:12:11 I brought one for you today. The Warren Commission Report. It's a good read. That's a thick-ass book, man. Yeah, don't try to read it high You're gonna need some Adderall A lot of lies in that book I have one real prize
Starting point is 00:12:31 This is actually my favorite This is a Scorsese box set It has Boxcar Bertha Which is a really good movie None of you have heard of it Because there was zero cheers Boxcar Bertha Never heard of it
Starting point is 00:12:44 New York, New York. Special edition. Do you guys not know these movies? This is the same guy that made Gangs of New York. Oh, that's not in there, though? No. You guys know, it has Raging Bull. Everyone knows Raging Bull. Oh, that's a good one.
Starting point is 00:13:02 It has Raging Bull? Yes. Way to bury the lead on that one. Does it have Age of Innocence? So here's your prize pack. Take it. There it is. You're welcome. Does it have...
Starting point is 00:13:26 Alice doesn't live here anymore? It doesn't. We're not opening it to the floor. I actually named three of the four movies. Let's guess the last one. And what are all these stickers you brought, Brian Redband? You brought Death Squad stickers. Death Squad, Ari Shaffir stickers.
Starting point is 00:13:46 I think there's some Tony Hinchcliffe stickers in there. I just brought a collection of stickers. What? I just put them in the bag. I'm good at this. It's a great collection. Yeah, it's really nice. Thank you, Greg. I'll put the rest of these in this
Starting point is 00:14:04 other bag that I got in my lap. And let's talk movies, you guys. Let's get into this. Have you been to the movies lately, Billy? Yes. What did you see, man? I almost said Gangs of New York because it's so crazy. Lone Survivor.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Oh. That movie's intense, right? Too intense. Oh, okay. But I actually saw a review right before I said it that said it's the next Saving Private Ryan. Not true. It's a good movie, but Saving Private Ryan is fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Right. Fuck Mark Wahlberg. And this movie's just fucking good. Super good, though. I heard it's like Call of Duty. I heard it's just like a cut scene from Call of Duty that's two hours long. The whole movie is like a first-person shooter.
Starting point is 00:14:51 That's what I heard. It's making me dizzy. You know the kind of porn I don't like? First-person shooter. I don't get off on seeing that. Have you been to the movies lately, Brian? I know you're really busy. You've got a million podcasts that you're doing.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Yeah, last I saw was Anchorman, too. I don't really go to the movies because I just work so much, so I just watch them on iTunes, but I pay for that early release shit. I do that. I just saw Bad Grandpa. That was good.
Starting point is 00:15:29 Wait, there's an extra fee on Netflix for early releases? On iTunes they have this thing where the movie comes out a month before it comes out you can pretty much buy it for $20. Sometimes I'm like, you know what, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:15:43 That's like a date. I'm with a girl right now. $20 is fine. Yeah, that'm like, you know what, that's fine. That's like a date. I'm with a girl right now. 20 bucks is fine. Yeah, that's a cheap-ass date, man. He doesn't even feed them. No. Apparently nothing else happens that night
Starting point is 00:15:53 except the movie. The movie. They're just like, I'm so hungry. Have Jack Daniels. Drink this. Watch the movie. Stay quiet.
Starting point is 00:16:06 I don't have any mixer, so we have to use tequila. I'm going to get you drunk, and we're not going to eat, and we're going to watch Blue is the Warmest Color, and after the three hours is over, if you do not want to make love to me,
Starting point is 00:16:24 you're free to leave But I'll give you some stickers on the way out $20 date I did it Red Band's too fancy Buys the movies on iTunes pre-release If it's not on Netflix My girlfriend's way out of luck
Starting point is 00:16:40 You go through Netflix so fast, though. I've actually watched all the good stuff on Netflix, I feel like. You gotta take some chances and watch some weird stuff. There's so many documentaries now, and I find that a documentary, for it to get funded and made and show up
Starting point is 00:17:00 anywhere, it has to kind of have something to it, some story to it that's unique and that someone thought would be interesting. And so I find most documentaries, like I rarely see a documentary that I hate. Yeah, my problem is I
Starting point is 00:17:16 watch them at night and I take a sleeping pill first, then I figure it'll help me fall asleep, and I have watched the same documentary twice and realized halfway through that I had already seen it. And I knew that Kennedy
Starting point is 00:17:31 was shot at the end and it fucked it up. Every documentary ends like Inception. You're just like, things are starting to melt and stuff when the sleeping pill
Starting point is 00:17:39 kicks in. Yeah, it was a good movie about corn, but that last part where the corn was like melting. You know how if you fall asleep during a movie, there's a strange thing that happens where you'll actually
Starting point is 00:17:50 kick awake right when the end credits start. You'll wake up and be like, oh shit, it's the ending. But with documentaries, if that happens, when you wake up, usually at that end part, it tells you what happened to all of the primary characters. And so you feel like some closure. Right. Although it worked out okay for them.
Starting point is 00:18:14 That's good. Although that's also true with any Spielberg movie because it always ends where it started. Like it starts at the graveyard and then it kicks back in time. And then it finishes back at the graveyard where they sum up what just happened in case you missed it. Yeah, he does a lot of that.
Starting point is 00:18:29 I didn't even see, did that happen in War Horse? I didn't see War Horse. I missed it. Yeah, it started in the stable, ended in the stable. Yeah, War Horse is my first Spielberg opt-out.
Starting point is 00:18:40 It was the first time in my life that I did not see the newest Spielberg. And you know what? I feel okay with it. Is this a full departure or you might go back to the next one? No, I'll go back. I just with War Horse, I was just like, I want to see the play where dudes walk around
Starting point is 00:18:54 pretending to be horses. Because it seems to me like that's the exciting part about that play. And to turn it into a movie with real horses running around getting shot at, I don't need to see that. I want to see dudes in a horse costume. It's awesome. I saw War Horse on Broadway.
Starting point is 00:19:12 That's what I'm saying. It's really good, right? It's so good. Yeah. I didn't even think someone goes, we're going to go to a Broadway play
Starting point is 00:19:18 and I was like, I don't want to go. They're like, the ticket's free. I was like, all right, I'll be there. Then you get there
Starting point is 00:19:23 and you're like, this is the most amazing, no wonder they charge $150 for tickets. Those fucking guys really act like horses, man. They really seem real. Yeah, there's three dudes running each horse, so there's like front legs, back legs, but there's a guy on the outside
Starting point is 00:19:36 working the head and he's doing such a good job that you just stop seeing him. You're just seeing the horse all side, taking drugs. Wait, you become a complete idiot? him. You're just seeing the horse all side, taking drugs. Wait, you become a complete idiot? That's how mesmerizing it is?
Starting point is 00:19:50 It's so good. Yeah, I love that shit. I try to say something serious and I get bashed. No, no, it's cool. I feel the same way about, you start to look at the puppets like in Avenue Q and stuff. When those people do that shit well, it's like, it is art and it's you know,
Starting point is 00:20:05 you do look at, you look where they want you to look. Yeah. Well, it's like Jeff Dunham. Like, you don't realize at the end
Starting point is 00:20:13 that he's not a flagrant racist. You really think it's the puppet that's having these thoughts. He should do, every Jeff Dunham
Starting point is 00:20:21 show should have the same, this backdrop that they have here at American Comedy Company. Because it really kind of says what is most important about his comedy is America. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:33 For those of you who listen to the podcast, it's an American flag and a balding. It makes Colbert's backdrop look like a pinko flag. A pinko flag. I love it, too, because it's always as it's look at it. We're sitting in front of it and it's as lit. It's more well lit than we are. That fucking sign. You can't put a shadow on it.
Starting point is 00:21:04 There's only 20 stars on that flag also Oh yeah Yeah that's what happens when it ruffles in the wind They got that flag in Mexico It's the 20 good ones though That's right I just like it when you're doing a comedy show I like the audience to have a bald eagle to look at Just to remind themselves
Starting point is 00:21:24 Of the majesty, the majestic grace that is comedy. So Greg's got kids, so he's going to probably give me the same sad Pixar story that we hear over and over again. Like what movies have you seen lately? Frozen.
Starting point is 00:21:46 It's pretty good. That does look like a good one, though. No, I didn't see it. Oh. I hear Josh Gad is fun as the snowman whose head falls off all the time. And you really believe that it's a snowman? Well, I'll suspend my disbelief for a cartoon. It's about princesses.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Is it? Yeah, and they marketed it with just the snowman, and the little boys all got tricked, and they all love it. So it's turning the entire country gay. Right, like every boy band. They become lesbians because they find out later that all the boys in the band were gay. And they were pleasuring themselves.
Starting point is 00:22:28 Here's what I saw. Now tell us more about your children. I went out and I saw Wolf of Wall Street. Oh, you ran off on your own. You were able to ditch everybody for four hours? Well, I'm on the road, so on the weekends I'll go see a movie. Oh, there you go. Okay. And so, which I'm
Starting point is 00:22:46 calling Wolf of Wall Street, Stock Fellas. It was exactly the same movie as Goodfellas. And I wish that Scorsese would just do that with every industry throughout the world. Just tell how everything's done but with the backdrop being
Starting point is 00:23:04 a lot of partying and ultimate failure. Right. It's like a woman in a Chinese laundromat, and it's her pressing shirts. But then she finds out that actually there's a way to do it where you can take money from the cash register. Then she starts doing coke. Fucking a lot of guys in the end. She has to turn. The government turns her.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Yeah. The dragon of Shirt Street. Right. Oh, that's going... I'm making a shirt of that one. Man, just add pot, the comedy comes right out. Nobody else could have thought of that without pot. Oh, shit. How are we doing on time, you guys?
Starting point is 00:24:04 I'm doing good. You've never been on the show before, Greg, so I bestow upon you a gentleman made a business card-sized rules of the Leonard Maltin game that if you read them, you'll just suddenly know exactly what to do. It's good that he did it in a two font. Yeah, he had to squeeze it all out there.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Jesus Christ. You can't even read it with your prescription glasses. Do you want me to read them? Is that what you're saying? No, no. Well, I just want you to have that. If you have a moment, you could read it. And just so you're, you know, you know what's happening.
Starting point is 00:24:43 I think Billy's heard the show. You've both heard the show a few times. Yeah, I've heard it a few times. I think you'll be able to play along. We've got a couple other games we're going to play, but as the listeners and the audience here today know, I've learned to make them simpler. And people beg me to play Build-A-Title again, and I swear I will someday.
Starting point is 00:25:04 But you can't just force it on any guests. It takes a special breed of guest. That pedigree is not here tonight. I'm taking a wait-and-see approach. Brian's been on the show twice before, and he never seems confused by anything. No,
Starting point is 00:25:26 I just never know the movies you're talking about. I always win by default. He always has the same face too. Yeah, some of them are too old. Brian only knows
Starting point is 00:25:35 movies he watched on iTunes last night. Right. If there was a category of that. I should know because I was a projectionist for like 12 years and I've seen
Starting point is 00:25:45 I saw Wayne's World like 80 times. That was my favorite movie growing up. I just sat there and watched it every So who do you think is top billed in the cast of Wayne's World? I have no idea. Really? Dude, I smoke a lot of weed.
Starting point is 00:26:00 I thought you'd be able to narrow it down to two people. I was just curious which one you thought. Of course Mike Myers would get top billing. Third place. Yeah, who's the third billing on that one? Tia Carrere? Oh, Rob Lowe. Really, you think?
Starting point is 00:26:18 Tia Carrere or Laura Flynn Boyle shows up to get physically abused quite a bit. Did you know, here's a little tip from Wayansworld, that they used to play the song Stairway in Heaven when they showed the sign Stairway in Heaven. And then when it went on video and DVD and stuff like that, they wouldn't pay the rights for that.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Now the joke used to be, you know, the song, now it goes up and it's just generic. Like, do-ing-dong-dong. Whoa, that's the most generic music I've ever heard. That was from several countries. That was from the dragon of shirt street. I don't know why it went... I was thinking of Tia Carrere.
Starting point is 00:26:57 So he made an Asian sound. Here's my generic. I was like, I need to Facebook her when I get home see if she's still alive see what she looks like I have a feeling you already have I don't know what just happened but it was fun
Starting point is 00:27:16 let's play some games you guys let the games begin Let's play some games, you guys. Let the games begin. I reckon it's time. Everyone here, or most people here, have name tags that they created that are movie-related. Sometimes they're gluten-free items. Sometimes there's cakes or balloons.
Starting point is 00:27:48 And some people light their own signs up, which is smart to do. So if all three of you gentlemen could just go select the name tag you want to play for and physically take it from them and bring it back to your seat. I see some iPad technology type of thing. Find a person way in the back.
Starting point is 00:28:07 And while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. And we're back. Who are you guys? That didn't take long at all. Let's start with Greg Fitzsimmons here on the end. Just look right into the camera and show me the name tag. Tell me who you're playing for.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Today I'm playing for Wendy, who's wearing a flannel shirt. And she held this up directly in front of her face, and I didn't really look down. I just saw flannel and this, and I said, thank you, sir. And it was very awkward. And then I looked down,
Starting point is 00:28:42 and I saw two big tits, and I went, oh, Wendy. So, yeah, we're playing for her. She has a copy of my book, which is why I picked her. She put a post with her name on it. So, you know, I'm
Starting point is 00:28:57 continuing to promote. It's called Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons. Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons. And it's a book. Tales of Redemption. Tales of Redemption from an Irish mailbox. It's all letters. My mother collected every bad behavior report
Starting point is 00:29:15 and arrest reports and clippings from the newspaper when I was arrested, and she saved them. And I found them as an adult, and I wrote a book about all of them. That's great. I love it. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Who are you playing for, Brian? I am playing for Deanna. Deanna. Yeah. Oh, wait. Show me that again. That's really... Yeah, it's pretty badass, right?
Starting point is 00:29:34 Look at the craftsmanship on that. I know. It's sweet, right? She really... She took a piece of masking tape and wrote Deanna on there. And then put it on a San Diego State marching hat. Yeah, right? She's probably going to need that hat back.
Starting point is 00:29:50 I was thinking of Tia Carrere wearing it, so that's why I got it. The whole marching band. The staple of the SDSU band. Why aren't you wearing your hat? I traded it for a bag of crap. It's tough to be in a marching band when you're the gong player.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Right. Billy, who are you playing for? I think his name is Robert. Could be Junior. I'm not sure. I gave mine away already, but it's a bottle of detergent. It's a bottle of Downy. Downy.
Starting point is 00:30:28 And at the top it says Robert. In the middle with the actual label it says Downy. And then a picture of Junior from Problem Child. That's a good choice. I picked this one because he's probably the only other person that didn't put his on regular paper. Poster board is so outdated. The next Doug Loves Movies. I picked this one because he's probably the only other person that didn't put his on regular paper. Poster board is so outdated. The next Doug Loves Movies, everyone bring your shit on household items.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Right. And be fucking super clever. But then you were disappointed that there wasn't actual stuff in there. Yeah, if there was detergent in here, I was going to use it. I bet right before he made this, he's like, I better get the rest of the detergent out of there. He probably had a full amount of detergent. And he was like, well, what are we going to put it in? Now he's got a belly full of detergent, probably. Doug, do you want to smell this hat?
Starting point is 00:31:14 What? Smell it. Why? Because there's a lot of teenage sweat in there. Band sweat. Band girl sweat. Is there a shithead inside here? What?
Starting point is 00:31:23 Is that what this is? Did you put a shithead inside here? What? Is that what this is? Did you put a shithead inside here? Yes. Okay. No, I'm not going to smell it. Thank you. Thank you for the offer. I appreciate it. There's shit in here? No. A shithead. Where's Wendy? Where'd you put your
Starting point is 00:31:37 shithead? Is it on the back of the post-it? Okay, it's on the post-it. And Greg, as you know from listening to the show all the way through to the end, I give away the prize bag to whoever you guys win. Whichever guy wins, that's who you're playing for. They'll get the prize bag. But if they don't drink the detergent...
Starting point is 00:31:58 No, I was going to ask you to smell it. Oh, okay. You know what's weird is it smells like teenage band players too. That's a problem. But if they lose, I'll name anybody a shithead for them at the end of the show. It's the goodbye at the end. Good. You have heard it. It's fun, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I enjoy it. I ask comics all the time, well listen to my show before you do it. And they go, yeah, I heard it. It's great. I love it. No problem. And then as soon as we get to the shithead thing what's happening oh it's at the very end of the show oh I didn't listen to the whole thing I just listened right up to the part where you started to say stuff that I needed to know no I listened through the end and then I uh I listened for the credits you wake up for the
Starting point is 00:32:41 credits right now it's time time for Doug to watch another. Okay. I got three games picked out for you guys today. And the first one, the lighting up here is so crazy that it's hard for me to read my own notes. I feel like I should be touching my nose and walking a straight line with these lights. Do you write in cursive, Doug? It's very bright. No, it's just my version of scribbling.
Starting point is 00:33:12 My notes look like they're made by R. Crumb's brother. So... The first game we're going to play is called How Much Did This Shit Make? It's a guessing game, just like on Price is Right. You guys are going to take turns. We'll start with Greg, and then we'll go to Billy, and then to Brian. You just get to guess how much one particular movie made at the domestic box office
Starting point is 00:33:44 according to Box Office Mojo. And just like Price is Right, you don't want to go over and one guy can pull the asshole bid of $1 if they think the other two guys have gone over. I'm in the power position right now. What's that? I said I'm in the power position right now.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Well, Brian's going to go third, so that would probably be the power position. Oh, I thought you said I was last. No, you're second. Oh, I'll go home now. I was hoping no one would even know what the power position was. And you just play the game like a bunch of innocents. The movie. Normally I pick a movie that was filmed
Starting point is 00:34:25 Like oh this shitty movie was filmed in San Diego But I found a movie that I used to love I think it's probably terrible That was shot mostly in San Diego called Scavenger Hunt Oh my god is right If you get a chance to watch it somehow It's kind of crazy It's got people stealing ostriches
Starting point is 00:34:45 from the San Diego Zoo. Tony Randall is in it. It was directed by Michael Schultz, who, prior to that, had done, like, Car Wash, I think. So, anyway, so I looked that movie up. Let's see how...
Starting point is 00:34:59 That probably didn't make much money. That'll be funny. And I looked it up, and next to it on Box Office Mojo, it said, N.A., you know, not applicable. Like, there's no reason to get into it. How much money Scavenger Hunt made. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Roddy McDowell was in it. I was a big fan of Planet of the Apes movies when I was younger, so... So, anyway. But they're running around, like, Balboa Park, and, like, it's a scavenger hunt in San Diego, so you see a they're running around Balboa Park, and it's a scavenger hunt in San Diego, so you see a lot of San Diego in the course of the movie.
Starting point is 00:35:31 I think I even tried to be an extra in it. I think I showed up one day and stood around somewhere. Okay, so the movie I picked in honor of what is probably a terrible movie playing this weekend called I, Frankenstein. It's probably really bad, right? You saw it already? Who saw it? For reals?
Starting point is 00:35:51 Why? Why do you want to know, bro? Just chilling in San Diego. You're all up in my movie choices. Shit. No, but I went with another Aaron Eckhart vehicle that was not well received by brains called Battle Los Angeles. Sure. Battle Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:36:17 I liked it. Hey, Mikey. I have not seen it. I have not seen it I'm sad to say because someone a friend of mine hated it so much that I was like
Starting point is 00:36:29 oh I can pass on this plus I live in Los Angeles I'd prefer there wasn't a battle happening there what do you think Greg? how much do you think Battle Los Angeles made? well
Starting point is 00:36:41 it's Aaron Eckhart so you know on Women Alone he made upwards of six dollars because he's always mean to them in every movie he's in I don't think he was it was sold as an Aaron Eckhart vehicle I think the ads you didn't even know he was in it right so yeah so that's probably the only one lady figured it out is this like a mat. Is this like the American Spelling Bee where you can ask questions about the film?
Starting point is 00:37:07 People can ask questions, but I am in no mood to help you. Because I think you already have enough information to play the game. I'm going to say it made two million dollars. Okay. It's almost like coming out of the gate
Starting point is 00:37:32 with the one dollar bid. You can get fucked with this strategy, but we'll see. We'll see what happens when we go to Billy. I mean, they probably made more. I'm just saying they didn't turn in all the receipts. It was a little bit of a...
Starting point is 00:37:52 We don't bring shifty bookkeeping into it. Okay. Unless it's not applicable. Billy? Zero dollars is not an answer, right? Because I can't imagine it. No, but I would love it because it would be this most spectacularly stupid bid in the history of this game.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Because he said two million. So you'd only get that zero to two million window on what was a pretty major motion picture that came out. All right, I got $11 million. Aaron Eckhart, it has a nice ring to it, $11 million. Wasn't really an Aaron Eckhart vehicle, though. Brian? I am freaking out now.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Why? Because I can't figure out if like $11 million is a lot of money. That's how rich Redman is. Battle of Los Angeles was like two years ago, right? One or two years ago? He does that on Dead Squad shirts. Am I allowed to ask? I think it was Two Oceans 11.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Because I'm kind of freaking out. I might be too dogged right now. Like, how much does, like, a shitty movie usually make? Can I even ask that? I can't help you with that. Like, how much did, like, Toy Story 3 make? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. That's a major fucking box office smash.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Hey, please, please. Hey, go ahead and guess $900 million. Brian Redman's guess is $900 million. International. I will say $2.7 million. This one's a real squeaker. Let it be 2.5. Let it be 2.5.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Battle Los Angeles made 82.5. Battle Los Angeles made 82.5 million dollars. Thank you. It might be 83.5 because I forgot to write it down. Does that include popcorn and candy? That seems high.
Starting point is 00:40:27 It does, but it had like a two or three weekend run there before the word got out. At first, people were just excited to see Los Angeles in ruin, I think, and then it coasted to a couple more good weekends, I think. Was there a movie that was a parody of that movie, one of those movies that was like Battlefield Earth and it was supposed to be just an exact copy
Starting point is 00:40:52 of Battle Earth or whatever that movie was called? I think I saw that, and that's what I was thinking of. What were you thinking of when you guessed $700,000 above mine, thereby creating a vacuum. Because I really thought maybe it only made $3 million.
Starting point is 00:41:09 But I guessed... To $11 million. But you understand the math of what you did, right? No, you can't go, I went right above you. No, you didn't. You went $700,000 above you. No, I said 2.7. I said two.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Right. So I said 2.7. So there's $700,000 unaccounted for dollars. Oh. What? I thought you just bid higher, like if you were closer to like 4 million. But if you had gone $1 ahead of me... Oh, why did I do 2.7?
Starting point is 00:41:39 Right. Oh, just because... for fun. Like I always say the number seven. You like seven. It's lucky. That's right. Okay. I didn't get it before.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Now I understand. For the listeners at home, Brian had stepped out during my entire discussion with Billy Bonnell about zero to two million. Yeah, I wasn't paying attention. Got way too dug. I'm sorry. Yeah, so Billy,
Starting point is 00:42:10 you won that one handily. Only means you get to go first in this next game. And then we'll switch the order around. I'll go second. And then we'll go to... Wait we'll go I'll go second and then we'll go to wait you go second yeah then we'll go to Greg and then to Brian yeah this is a game I like to play along called the Seth Rogen game aka last man Stanton and the object of this game, is we will get the name of a director
Starting point is 00:42:47 or an actor or actress. I think we did him once before, the guy with the Nicolas Cage sign. I mean, I'd be up for doing it again, but that would be like, I would have to recuse myself because that would be like cheating because I just heard it.
Starting point is 00:43:01 So we'll see. Let me, one, first things first. First of all, you guys are way too high for this. We'll get a name, actor, actress, or director, we'll get a name for somebody in the audience, and then we take turns naming movies that person did. And even when it's somebody that's made like 50, 80 movies, you'd be surprised how hard it gets
Starting point is 00:43:27 and how quickly it gets hard. Hey, explain that to Redman. It's the Viagra of games. Does it stay hard for a long time? It stays really hard the whole time. Once it gets hard, it stays hard. Until someone wins. Until everybody finishes.
Starting point is 00:43:55 How long until you have to consult a doctor? No one liked that? Let's get a... No, but it was a good edit point. Let's get... Not that we edit the show, but I just mean it was a good point for me to move on and ask you guys...
Starting point is 00:44:16 The guy is so sad about Nicolas Cage not being an option because that would be fun. We did do Nicolas Cage once before. Do you have a backup suggestion? Ed Norton? Ed Norton? Wow. Have we done Ed Norton? It feels like we've done it.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Right? We did it. Jesus, you guys. Settle down. I gotta say William H. Macy Was the first thing I heard I think that's gonna be a disaster though Let's just
Starting point is 00:44:56 Here's what we'll do Settle down Don't you make me I'll turn this club around. He's serious, you guys. I think I just heard Steve Martin. Brian. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:45:13 You're begging for one that you actually... Because I was going to say, let's just, first of all, let's test this thing. Brian, can you name any movies that have William H. Macy in them? Yeah, that one city place. What?
Starting point is 00:45:34 The one where the wood chipper. Isn't he in that one? No, the answer's no. I cannot. Brian Redband's alternate titles. I think Fargo should have been called the wood chipper. Yeah. It's like, and that's what it was translated to in the Chinese release.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Wood chipper of the woods. Oh yeah, you know that's what they called that over there. Wood chipper of death. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Wood chipper of doom. Oh, Boogie Nights, duh. That was a great one. Okay, so you proved you can name one.
Starting point is 00:46:09 But I was pretty accurate in my assuming that it would be tough for you. So let's do Steve Martin. Oh, all right, yeah. I don't normally let the players pick, but I still have a feeling you're not going to win. normally let the players pick, but I still have a feeling you're not going to win.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Billy, name any movie that Steve Martin was in. The Jerk. Oh. Alright, I'm going to go Little Shop of Horrors. The Pink Panther. Parenthood 2. What just happened?
Starting point is 00:46:52 Why did you? That was the equivalent of guessing $700,000 above the clearly highest bid. Why did you say that? I don't know. I thought it was already going to be set pretty early. At the very least, why not take a breath after Parenthood and hope that I say yes before adding the two?
Starting point is 00:47:18 Why did you think there was a Parenthood two? Huh? You know Steve Martin was in it. First of all, you wanted this Huh? You know Steve Martin was in it. First of all, you wanted this cat, you wanted Steve Martin to be the choice
Starting point is 00:47:32 and then your first answer... I was just playing around. Do you want me to give you a real answer? Yes. All right. Dead men don't wear plaid. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:41 That Parenthood 2 was just playing around. Yeah. You gotta be careful with the playing around. I'm sorry. I mean, that was like saying bomb near a TSA agent. Right. I didn't think the movie was that bad.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Which one? Oh, I like that Dead Men Don't Reply. Yeah. Kind of experimental. I loved it. I didn't love it all the way through, but... That's where they took clips of old black and white movies and mixed it together. I remember at one point he had a plate of cookies
Starting point is 00:48:10 and he goes, have a cookie. Try one. I made them myself. I think if you rewatch it, that's a great rewatch, especially stoned. It's really funny. There's some really funny parts in it. What do you got, Billy?
Starting point is 00:48:26 Parenthood 1. I'm going to go with Pink Panther 2. I'm pretty sure there was a three. But I'm not sure, so I'm going to say Roxanne. That's the fun part about this game, is they cheer for the movies they like. So if you pick ones that they like, it gets a big reaction.
Starting point is 00:49:02 And it feels good. It felt good. It does, yeah. Feels like someone just put a cookie in your mouth. L.A.'s story. Yeah! Now he's getting cocky. Blazing saddles? Am I out?
Starting point is 00:49:22 Am I out already? Was that your comedy answer? Yeah, it absolutely was. Let me try one more time with my real answer. Three Amigos? I don't know if I like this version of the game. Oh, it's on me? My Blue Heaven Fuck you, that was mine
Starting point is 00:49:55 I was like, no one's gonna think of this one I believe, technically, Parenthood 1 was not named No, it was No, I believe Billy technically, Parenthood 1 was not named. No, it was. No, I believe. Billy scooped it up. I didn't say it was or wasn't. I said I believe. Hey, if you want to kill more,
Starting point is 00:50:15 if you want to buy yourself more time, name a bunch of other ones we've already said. I'm pretty sure Pink Panther. L.A. Story. Nope, already been said. I'm pretty sure Pink Panther. L.A. Story. Nope. Already been said. Seriously? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:31 That was my last. I thought you were taking my advice and saying one that was already said. That was his comedy choice. Wow, this does go fast, doesn't it? Yeah. I'm going to say Pink Panther 3. Okay, now you're out. Shit, really? Yeah, you don't get
Starting point is 00:50:47 to play no more. You'll be back in the next game. God damn it. Brian? Pennies from Heaven. Don't feel so happy you named the category. I know. I'm just happy. Because I forgot about that movie and then I remembered that movie title and I was like, I forgot about that.
Starting point is 00:51:09 It's exciting. Can I name a book he wrote? Billy. Because that's where I'm at right now. Can I name a New Yorker article he wrote? You got anything, Billy? Pink Panther 4. I'm going to go with
Starting point is 00:51:31 Cheaper by the Dozen. I already said that. Am I allowed to ask if something's been said already? Or no? No, but you're allowed to say the most obvious answer in the world.
Starting point is 00:51:46 I said Cheaper by the Dozen. said already? No. No, but you're allowed to say the most obvious answer in the world. Play. I said Cheaper by the Dozen. Cheaper by the Dozen 2. That's correct. I didn't even know that was a movie. I'm talking about good Steve Martin. All right. Father of the Bride.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Okay. Novocaine. Whoa. Okay. Father of the Bride 2. Okay. Okay. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:52:32 My Blue Heaven? Already said it. Ah, fuck my life. Was Planes, Trains, and Automobiles already said also? No! No! See, I forgot to pay attention to what was said already
Starting point is 00:52:47 because I didn't know that was part of the game. You know what else wasn't said? And I'm going to say it right now. Bowfinger. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, now it's getting pretty hairy. Come on, Brian. Don't make me say the last one for the win.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Fuck. I got it in my head. I got it. I got it in my head. I got one. I got it in my head. I got one. I got it in my head.
Starting point is 00:53:16 I'm ready. Oh. I'm ready to say it. I can say it. I know I can say it. Now I have two. Now I have two. Two different ones I can say.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Wait, wait, wait. But now that I have two, it's confusing me. Now I'm going to forget both. How about a movie called... I win, I win, I win. Little Shop of Horrors. Already said it. Who did?
Starting point is 00:53:39 I said it early on. Wrote it down and everything. How about then... Oh, Grand Canyon. Oh, son of a bitch! Man with two brains. What else have you got? Oh.
Starting point is 00:54:07 The one with the switching places with the old lady chick with the face. Now I've got another one. Mrs. Delphi? Man, my two brains. It's not that.
Starting point is 00:54:29 It's a... Three seconds, Brian. Oh, fuck my life. Three, two, one. Say the movie, Doug. That one's called All of Me. And the other one that I had is Looney Tunes, Back in Action.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Wow. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is a great one. How the fuck? What else? There's a bunch of them. It's complicated. It's complicated.
Starting point is 00:55:03 What was the... Bringing down the house. Shouldn't they get Death Squad stickers? Yeah, man with two brains. Lonely guy. Yeah. Lonely guy is one of my favorites too.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Shop girl. Shop girl. Shop girl. That is the most enthusiastic anybody's ever been saying the word shop girl. Shop girl. Shop girl. I was actually trying to think of that one. That is the most enthusiastic anybody's ever been saying the word shop girl. Yeah. I tried to remember shop girl. Sergeant Bilko. That was another one.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Like, why? Why do that? What are you doing, Steve? What was the one David Mamet one that was like the philosopher's fart hole? Main Street. Spanish Prisoner. I said philosopher's fart hole. Turns out it's Spanish Prisoner.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Was he in State and Maine? I don't know. I'm thinking of the Winona Ryder 4 DVD collection. But that was a good one. So thank you for suggesting that, Brian. Yeah, that was fun. All right. So since I won that one, we go back to Billy still gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game.
Starting point is 00:56:21 Billy still gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game. And we'll go to Brian second because he's an old pro and then we'll come to you, Greg. I feel like you're disappointed in me so far. Who were you looking at when you said that? Everybody in the audience. Next time, if you want to say something to America
Starting point is 00:56:46 look at the eagle behind you I feel like I haven't been patriotic enough yeah your answers have been very unpatriotic the whole time just sing the national anthem real quick will be good oh
Starting point is 00:57:03 sing oh what a beautiful singing voice. If it's a national anthem, why don't you start with Jose? Jose, can you see? Oh, his voice is quite beautiful. He's going to be dead soon. All right, so... Good luck to us all. Leonard Maltin game.
Starting point is 00:57:42 I get pretty high when I come down here, so I'm just happy that everything seems to have worked so far and that you guys have given answers that I can make fun of you for giving, even though I'm the one who's potted out of my skull. Billy, your first category options are at B-L-G, Ger Gerlin B-C-N. Yeah, winner of the
Starting point is 00:58:08 catchiest Twitter handle. I thought that was the name of the category. I was like, what? Yeah, no, that crazy person suggested... Actually, they work in an optometrist's office, and that's the eye chart. So good.
Starting point is 00:58:29 The category suggested by that I chart is wins in Scrabble, and that's movies that begin with the letter J, Q, X, or Z. Movies that begin with those letters. Yeah, you'd be surprised on a couple of those how few there are. At Bennett Radio suggested Bush vs. Gore, and that's a slasher movie where you see full frontal nudity. And at Your Pal Pete suggested
Starting point is 00:59:03 The Day the Mirth Stood Still, and that's a movie where a comedian is killed, and it's, I'll give you one quick clue, it's not the movie Watchmen. Where the comedian is killed. He dies, right? Spoiler! Which one of those do you want to dies, right? Spoiler. Which one of those do you want to play, Billy?
Starting point is 00:59:29 Bush versus Gore. Okay. Billy, don't be a hero. Don't be a fool. Take it, Brian. That was way better than the national anthem. Dong, dong, dong, dong, dong. It's a remix. bing bong click click
Starting point is 00:59:49 okay Leonard calls this movie that is a slasher film with full frontal nudity a bomb he did not care for it the year is 1981 yeah and the only clue
Starting point is 01:00:06 I can give you, because if I read the review, it might say too much. The only clue I can give you is that Leonard's review of this movie is 12 words long. And he uses the word more twice.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Moral? More. More. As in, I would like some more gruel, please. I am an orphanage and my name is Oliver. Right. And Leonard lists seven names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Billy Bonnell?
Starting point is 01:00:46 Seven. Strong, wise opening bid. Brian Redband? Six. Also smart. They're playing by the numbers, Greg. I'll go five. That did not sound very confident.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Billy? Name it. as are you. That did not sound very confident. Billy. Name it. That's what happens. But don't worry, if you don't name it, Billy will get a point, but we also we play to two points, so you're still in the game. And you're five
Starting point is 01:01:23 out of seven names in this movie with pretty much like a 12-word review, but two of those words are more, and it's a bomb from 1981. And your names are Warrington Gillette, which just sounds like people were near appliances when they named the child. Stu Charno.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Kirsten Baker. Adrienne King. And John Fury. John Fury. Fury, yes. Fury or Fury? Fury. I don't think the last two names would really help you either.
Starting point is 01:02:02 So I think you just have to take a stab on this. No pun intended. It is a slasher film. Maybe you remember one that has full frontal nudity. That's kind of a special moment when that happens. Don't fucking stand up and stare at me, Billy. Why are you out of your chair? What kind of intimidation practice is this?
Starting point is 01:02:25 I have to pee so bad, I'm just trying to fucking stand up straight. I'm going to go with Chucky. I mean, it counts if it's a doll, right? Yeah, I mean, I don't believe any of the movies in the series was just called Chucky, but it's still a fun guess.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Okay. You came to play. You're not fucking around. But the last two names were Amy Steele and Betsy Palmer. Oh. And the movie is called... The reason he said more twice is because it's Friday the 13th, part two.
Starting point is 01:03:01 Oh, my God. And the review is, more nubile campers More bloody executions If you loved part 1 Dot dot dot It's like the new You might be a redneck routine He insults not only the movie
Starting point is 01:03:18 But anybody who liked the first one If you're a complete asshole You might like Friday the 13th, part two. It's got full nudity. Head to toe. Wow. Probably has a pretty old-fashioned bush in there. 81, they still had him.
Starting point is 01:03:38 81 bush, man. All right, so that means Billy got a point. You're on the board, buddy. I did it. Quite impressive. That means we're going to start with Brian this next round and then go to Billy and then to Greg. And Brian, would you like to pick between these categories?
Starting point is 01:04:03 Rock and Roll Geo Suggested Slay Anything And that's movies where John Cusack kills someone At Uncle Underscore Dirt Good old Uncle Dirt He suggested Or she
Starting point is 01:04:23 Captain Full Lips Captain he suggested, or she, Captain Full Lips. Captain Full Lips. And that's movies where Angelina Jolie is on a boat. And... At Plainly Zanely Suggested The Comedians of Comedy Bang Bang And that's movies where
Starting point is 01:04:54 Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn Or Zach Galifianakis dies Yeah, I think I was able to find two movies Where one of those gentlemen dies What do you think, Brian? I think I was able to find two movies where one of those gentlemen dies. What do you think, Brian? Do the Angelina Jolie's got one. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:14 Angelina is on a boat, you guys. Wait, when they suggest these things, do you find the movies, or do they also provide a list of? Sometimes people also include the names of movies, but part of the fun for me is I'll just see a category and think if I can think of a movie that fits it and then I'll just find it and load it into my Leonard Maltin app.
Starting point is 01:05:32 What a life. It's a full time job. Yeah it's amazing. Just to be in your shoes for one day. And you know let me just say this. Let me just get this out there. When people send me, sometimes they'll send me, like, six or seven suggestions in a row, but it's their, you know, it's from their Twitter account, and they'll put each one in a different thing.
Starting point is 01:05:52 And when I see, and a lot of times it's somebody who signed on to Twitter just to give me suggestions, so they often are just the egg, you know, and some weird made-up name or whatever. And then, you know, and then you click on their profile, and they're not, you know, you've got no name or whatever and then you know and then you click on their profile and they're not you've got no profile or whatever and all I want to say to those people is if you send me six or seven or eight of them all in a row I just glaze over and can't concentrate on any of them
Starting point is 01:06:15 because I'm just like then it feels like work like this guy sent me you know like he's writing for me and I have to pick one and he sent so many I feel guilty if I don't like one and I start reading them and they're all shit but then I start to think oh maybe they're shit because I'm just reading them all and I have a bad attitude about it
Starting point is 01:06:31 the fourth one could have been gold it could have been but it was sitting there just mired in shit and too many of them so like just send me one at a time just on occasion and that's the best way to sneak them through. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:48 Laying it right out there for them. Won't be good enough. Now they're going to fuck with you. Every show I do. Should we bring a name tag? Yes. It's yes 98% of the time. Bring a name tag. Brian Redband.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Yes. First of all, thank you for still being here after that. Billy, do you want to run and go pee and then come back? I don't think we've ever taken a pee break for a guest. But let's play one more point and see what happens well you know what though the green room
Starting point is 01:07:28 and bathroom has a speaker where you can hear the show he has a wireless microphone so both can work alright just don't just don't drop it
Starting point is 01:07:38 in the toilet there he goes test test beautiful test alright see if it works once the door's shut Billy There he goes. Test, test, test. All right, see if it works once the door's shut, Billy. Wait, wait, see if we can hear him pee. Billy?
Starting point is 01:07:52 He's definitely in there. Name it. Say something, Billy. Billy? No, it cuts it off. Yeah. He's got to stay in the same room. He should have just shit on the floor over there.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Do you think he's dropping a deuce? can you imagine? it's just funnier than he should be in the corner for some reason I gave it a comedy upgrade you didn't do the noises that was good restraint I gave it a comedy upgrade. Right. Right. You didn't do the noises. That was good restraint. Have you been to the Double Deuce upstairs?
Starting point is 01:08:30 The bar? I know. It cracks me up every time I see that name. Yeah. I love to say the Double Deuce because nobody gives two shits about that place. They're applauding that joke because they've heard it already. They're applauding it because I say it every time.
Starting point is 01:08:46 You do? Yeah. It's, well... Oh. I wish San Diego would just hold me in captivity. Just laugh at all my comedy. All right, Brian. The year is 2010.
Starting point is 01:09:05 Two stars from Leonard for this movie where Angelina Jolie ends up on a boat. Leonard Maltin says this movie's based on a French movie, so they stole something from the French and put it on a boat with Angelina Jolie, and he says, as a travelogue, this movie is Bella. As a movie, not so hot.
Starting point is 01:09:36 So he gets really snooty there at the end. And I'll give you one more clue. It has one of the funnier director names you're ever going to hear. But he's a good director. I've said too much. Eight names. How many names can you get it in, Brian? Red band?
Starting point is 01:09:54 Two. Wow. I'm guessing you've forgotten how the game is played. Yes. I like two. So now we go to Billy. What year was it? I was peeing.
Starting point is 01:10:15 2010, and we waited till you got back. You were still peeing in your mind. Oh, that was a good one. I wish it was still going on. Why didn't you just fill that detergent bottle? I can't believe... I can't believe a professional had to leave the stage. I thought that might void your contract.
Starting point is 01:10:39 Exposed dick. Honey, our clothes came out extra soft. Yeah, I added some piss. Downy, now with piss. Downy by R. Kelly. So, he picked two names. I'm just gonna say name it.
Starting point is 01:11:05 But I have no chance either way. If I say one name, Greg knows what to do. Name it. All right, Brian. Well, hang on. You get to hear the two names. Okay. I don't think they are.
Starting point is 01:11:19 I don't think it matters, really. Okay, well, I like to play it formally. What year is this? 2014? You don't just start yelling out answers at Alex Trebek of things you think might be asked. Raul Bova is in this movie.
Starting point is 01:11:40 The great Raul Bova. And Christian De Sica. Now what do you think it is? Beowulf? Is that a thing? Why? Is there really a scene where she's on a boat? She's in water,
Starting point is 01:12:04 so I thought maybe there was a part where she stepped on a boat? She's in water, so I thought maybe there was a part where she stepped on a canoe or something. I don't know. So why did you bid two names? What was the strategy? You're just like, it's Beowulf, so I might as well sew up the bidding part of this. Because it doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:12:27 I was playing chicken. I should have picked three. I think the results would have been the same if you picked maybe all of the names. Let's just play a game with just Brian Redband. But Billy is officially the winner. I couldn't have done that without relieving the pressure from my bladder. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:56 No, you knew you needed it, and it was worth it. Also, they've released some serpents into the club. There's a loud hissing from the bar. It sounds like somebody's having a water wiggle party. Well, the best is I'm doing stand-up here at night and during a lull, which there's some. Sure. You think someone's hissing at you from the back of the room.
Starting point is 01:13:25 Yeah. some. Sure. You think someone's hissing at you from the back of the room. Pssst. Pssst. Pssst. Pssst. Pssst. No, and it turns out it's just people playing a carnival game. Where they're trying to get the water into the clown's mouth. I scream, take it all, take it all when I play that game. There's like
Starting point is 01:13:44 children next to me. Oh, you like it. Oh yeah, I'll mess up your makeup. I'll give you something to frowny clown about. Rufus Sewell. No, this is just Brian. As soon as you know it, yell it out. Rufus Sewell No this is just Brian As soon as you know it Yell it out
Starting point is 01:14:05 Rufus Sewell Steven Berkoff Timothy Dalton Paul Bellamy Angelina Jolie And Johnny Depp From 2011 And it's called
Starting point is 01:14:23 Don't tell Don't help him I actually didn't know Come on you can do it Oh it's called Don't tell No idea Don't help him I actually don't know Come on You can do it Oh it's 2010 You're right Audience member corrected me
Starting point is 01:14:31 No need to get The corrections department involved I really don't I really don't know Like I was thinking earlier Angelina Jolie I guess But Johnny Depp And Angelina Jolie
Starting point is 01:14:40 Doesn't ring any bells to you? That's how awful That movie was Yeah I don't First of all The dude that directed it, he did an amazing movie in his own language called Something of Others? Lives of Others.
Starting point is 01:14:53 Lives of Others. Got a lot of acclaim, won awards and stuff. Then they saddled him with Angelina and Johnny for The Tourist. Oh, God. Yeah, terrible, terrible movie. And his name is Florian Henkel von Donnerschmack.
Starting point is 01:15:14 Schmack, Schmack, Donnerschmack. Yeah, so he's got an awesome name and hopefully he wasn't ruined by that experience. Where's the person that Billy was playing for? Come get your prizes. You cleaned up. Is there any attempt to get to the stage at all? Okay, here we go. There he is.
Starting point is 01:15:37 All the way in the back there. Congratulations. Congratulations. I'm keeping the Downey bottle though, just for memories hey bud if you can put the stuff in another bag I need that SD bag back just check your girlfriend's
Starting point is 01:15:54 do you really need a bag do you really need a bag I would love that if you made him take all that crap just carry it down the street without a bag my girlfriend's in here somewhere going we kinda need the bag I didn't take all that crap. I thought he was being serious. Just carry it down the street without a bag. My girlfriend's in here somewhere going, we kind of need the bag.
Starting point is 01:16:10 I'll get us another one. What was his name again? Jeremy. Jeremy, congratulations. Robert. Robert. All I had to do was check. You were so confident. And so close Overconfidence
Starting point is 01:16:28 Thanks Junior I bought it yeah I didn't even guess Downey or Junior I said Jeremy I really miss my older brother His name is Jeremy You can't spell Jeremy Without Robert Downey Jr
Starting point is 01:16:43 Need all those letters. That actually might work. You got anything to plug, Billy? Any tour dates coming up? People can come see you do your stand-up. Actually, I do a show here the second Wednesday of every month. The next one's on February 12th. Look me up on Twitter, Billy Bonnell.
Starting point is 01:17:04 That's all I have. I think I said Bonnell on a few occasions. No, but you can say whatever you want. I'm just glad to be here. All right. Billy Dookie Face. I don't care. Just don't look that up on Twitter. So,
Starting point is 01:17:18 Brian Reedbarn, what do you what do you got coming up, buddy? Going to be in a lot. Actually, about to announce Portland, Oregon, and Seattle. We're bringing Death Squad up there. It's probably going to be me, Tony, and Tiffany Haddish, I think. We're going on the road all the time.
Starting point is 01:17:35 Yeah, those Death Squad shows are fun. I've got to perform on a couple of them. You always get a great turnout and a nice mix of comedians. Super, super fun. Those cities, you're going to love all three of those cities, buddy. You should take Billy Poopyface with you. Thinking about taking Billy Poopyface over
Starting point is 01:17:52 here. Listen to all the many Death Squad podcasts, including Kill Tony, which I've been on a few times. A lot of interesting things happening with Kill Tony this week. Yeah, there was some issues with the Comic Patriot.
Starting point is 01:18:07 And it kind of came to a head after they were on Getting Doug with High. So we'll have to stay tuned for the next emotional chapter of this saga. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. It's interesting. Crazy. Yeah. Greg, what about you, buddy? First of all, the
Starting point is 01:18:23 shoes, you gotta love how pink they are. Pink? No, that's the lighting. They look pink under the light here. Yeah, the lighting makes them look pink. That's a ballsy shoe choice. Yeah. That's cool.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Especially with purple pants. Yeah. This is literally an accident. The pants, I thought they were different pants. You ever have pants in your dresser that you would never wear, but somehow you didn't throw out? And I accidentally grabbed them, and they're purple. I got them as a gift.
Starting point is 01:18:55 And I'm just not the kind of guy that wears purple pants. And then with pink shoes, I feel like Carrot Top. But funny. Oh! Some lady in the audience just said, but funny. I feel like Carrot Top. Oh. Some lady in the audience just said, but funny. That was a guy. That was a guy. I like to have fun with what the listeners can't hear.
Starting point is 01:19:22 Sometimes they can. Sometimes the comments from the audience can't get in there and into these mics and people listening here but a lot of times it's just quiet and then us responding and then the audience laughing there's got to be a lot of little mysteries when you listen to this show like what the fuck just happened that did they turn around and look at the eagle again because that always gets such a good reaction. Yeah, this is the only comedy club that's saving bald eagles.
Starting point is 01:19:50 What they're doing is they don't bother them. Right. Like this club does not go out and hunt bald eagles. Actively do not go out. Yeah, they stay right here in this basement. Joined by fellow non-eagle hunters. Can you guys tell that the game ended too fast?
Starting point is 01:20:16 I'm just trying to give everybody, you know, the show they paid for. 420 show always starts 10 minutes late. So I like to give everybody the full 90 and go to 6pm here on the coast. Build a title.
Starting point is 01:20:37 Alright. This you guys is a game that I used to play on the show a lot, and I just got tired of people not understanding. Well, then this is the perfect panel to break it out with. You're fucked, Benson! I've got to get serious about this. I've got to get the paper right in front of me. Gotta bring this microphone down.
Starting point is 01:21:09 Really lean into it. Alright. Raise your hand if you think you know how Build-A-Title is played. We got some people in the audience that have it down. Alright, I have to explain it. So, what we do is we take movie titles and we add to them based on sounds and words being the same in different titles. For instance, if we start off with The Godfather, you drop the the, because we don't mess around with thes, because those would be stoppers. You drop the the, and before Godfather, you add, like, Oh God, the great George Burns vehicle.
Starting point is 01:21:48 So now you have Oh Godfather. And then the other person could add Father the Bride, of course. You guys don't need to help me. I'm going slow so that they understand it. And then you go like Bride of Frankenstein? So, oh godfather of the bride of Frankenstein.
Starting point is 01:22:12 Like that. You could keep adding to it. Right? Did that work? So you can add to the front or the back. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 01:22:19 But the thing that throws people off is you can't change the words around in a title, but you can use sound alike can't change the words around in a title but you can use sound alike so like if the first title was street fighter you could if you can't think of something that begins with the word fighter or something
Starting point is 01:22:33 then you can take the ter at the end of it so you can go street fight terminator 2 judgment day like that 2.7 million. Did I win? I think I won.
Starting point is 01:22:55 Can you add into the center or only on the beginning and the end? Only on the ends, dude. I'm just trying to make it more complicated. We're building a title. Greg goes first Somebody else Alright so let me pick a title
Starting point is 01:23:10 From today that would be one That would work Because you don't want a title that Is hard to add to Beowulf Beowulf of Wall Street The only way you could add To Beowulf is if somebody made The Scott Beowulf of Wall Street? Yeah, the only way you could add to Beowulf is if somebody made the Scott Beowulf story
Starting point is 01:23:28 and didn't put the word story at the end. The movie was just called Scott Beowulf. Scott Beowulf. Of Wall Street. Fighter. Street. Fighter. Minator 2, Judgment Day.
Starting point is 01:23:59 All right, we're out of time. I'll be in Chicago at the when yeah do your plugs I was kidding but I might as well Chicago February 7th and 8th
Starting point is 01:24:15 at Up Comedy Club and then I just interviewed Doug for my podcast Fitz Dog Radio that will be up next week or whenever so check out
Starting point is 01:24:24 Fitz Dog Radio and thank you. Thank you all. I like that. I'm going to be at the Comedy Zone in Jacksonville, Florida doing stand-up on February 12th. Oof. I wrote hump it on down to the Comedy Zone hump day.
Starting point is 01:24:45 I don't know why I'm calling them, oh, on hump day. That's a fun nickname for a person, though. What's up, hump day? Doing the humpty hump? Thought I saw you. You looked like you had a lot of things to do in that Burger King restroom.
Starting point is 01:25:07 So you got busy? What's a good Steve Martin movie to start off Build-A-Title? I can't... They all have dead ends on them. Father of the Bride, that's a good one. All right, so Father of the Bride we'll start with. So you have to...
Starting point is 01:25:24 Movie that ends in father or begins with bride, so Father of the Bride we'll start with. So you have to move it. It ends in Father or begins with Bride. Godfather of the Bride. You really took to this game. All right, and I'll play too, but let's go to Brian. Let's give him a chance. So now I have to do it with someone's Bride. Something that ends with God, which was already an example tonight,
Starting point is 01:25:46 or begins with Bride. was already an example tonight. Or begins with bride. Bride of Chucky. Okay. That's going to be rough. Doesn't he have to say Godfather? He can say the whole thing, but it's also a time saver if he does it. Godfather the Bride of Chucky. That sounds like an actual sequel.
Starting point is 01:26:11 For the Chucky films. Well, the first one was just called Chucky. That was the best one, I thought. Because of the full frontal nudity. It's called child's play. Hey, was it child's play whatever Bride of Chucky or was it just Bride of Chucky? Just Bride of Chucky. Okay, good, good, good.
Starting point is 01:26:41 That's actually a good question. All right, Bill, what do you got? Billy, Billy. City of Godfather of the Bride of Chucky Yes Don't whisper Don't whisper things to me Also thank you Don't whisper things to me.
Starting point is 01:27:06 Also thank you. City of God, father of the bride of Chuck Key Largo. Wow. City of God, father of the bride of God, Father of the Bride of Chuck, Chuckie Largo Daddy. I think I get the game. You took the I'll just wait till I get there approach.
Starting point is 01:27:46 Like I'll say the whole thing and maybe something will come to me. Dick sort of ended up in a cul-de-sac. And I banged a U-turn and got the fuck out of there. Sometimes people will make up a movie title.
Starting point is 01:28:01 I'm not going to say who exactly would, Graham Elwood, like that. But... Go Daddy is a movie. What happens in Go Daddy? Isn't it like one of those... Is it? Is it like a Sandler or a Kevin James type of film? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:20 Daddy, Daycare, Big Daddy. Right. Go Daddy, daycare, big daddy. Right, go daddy, daycare. All right, Brian, it's your turn. You got anything? What was the movie, Daddy? Wait, what movie was it again? Daddy? Oh, Daddy?
Starting point is 01:28:48 Something that ends with city or begins with Largo or Go or Argo. Argo, fuck yourself. Oklahoma? I have to accept that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Margo, Oklahoma, or the wind. Doesn't he have to say the whole thing?
Starting point is 01:29:18 That's why I got fucked up. I could if you want me to. That doesn't fuck you up. It's just for fun, saying the whole thing. It's not fun. When you lose twice, it's not fun. Okay, Billy. Oh, you're out already. No, you're in. City of God. Nice.
Starting point is 01:29:35 Broken City of God. Yeah. Father. No, I can't go. Oklahoma. What are you doing? Like, the listener's thinking you had your dick out or something. Or you just took a shit in the corner. Because the mics don't reach into the...
Starting point is 01:30:10 Okay. Broken city of God, father of the bride of Chucky Largoclaho... Ma... Mamas. Oh, mamas. I can't think of anything that begins with mamas. Mama's house? No, that's Big Mama's house.
Starting point is 01:30:40 Mama. Mama Mia! Mama Mia! Oklahoma Mama Mia. We got a whole musical thing going on there. That'd be a fun mashup that no one would want to see. Let's take the two shows we hate. Billy? Is it my turn?
Starting point is 01:31:05 Yeah, yeah, And I'm out. I took too long on Mamma Mia, but that was fun, though. I think so, yeah. Much to do about nothing. Okay, so you're out. Ma, not ma. Ma. Ma.
Starting point is 01:31:25 I thought you could do that. Much. Ma. Ma. I thought you could do that. The ma. Much. Not much. Much. Interesting. Very interesting. Like. The two guys that are on stage stoned
Starting point is 01:31:45 are having so much more fun than the other two. It's good that you're not seated next to each other. We would just... Interesting choices. I think of Brian as just like some porn fiend who reads comic books. And his movies are like
Starting point is 01:32:02 Beowulf, Much Ado About Nothing, Oklahoma. Where the fuck did you come from? Ohio. Oh, that gave me an idea for a new game on the show. How did he get made? We bring on Brian's parents. Old Milwaukee. Yeah, right? Let's see.
Starting point is 01:32:25 Do you guys have shitheads on the backs of your thingies? So, well, who was the winner of that last thing we just did? Nobody, right? Billy won. Billy wins. Billy wins. Okay, Billy wins. That was a good one.
Starting point is 01:32:39 I wish I could think of a mama. I couldn't think of a homa. Mama. Oklahoma. Just mama. think of a mama. I couldn't think of a homa. Mama. Oklahoma. Just mama. Just mama. That would have been smart. Where's the shithead under the post-it?
Starting point is 01:32:56 Just pull that off of there. You want to see? Oh, it's a double post-it. Good job, Wendy. By the way, I had previously signed this book for Wendy. Something fell out. Oh. Oh, my.
Starting point is 01:33:13 This is an involved one. It's her driver's license and social security card. Look at that. Is that meant for me? Still my ID. She gets off on being scammed. She likes to get celebrities to scam her. She's got to pick people at a certain point in their career
Starting point is 01:33:41 where they might consider it. She has a lot of debt so she wants me to take her identity and pay it off. What the fuck? Were you just carrying it around and forgot? Oh, that's her ID
Starting point is 01:34:04 that she used to get in here. Oh, got it. Okay. Good job, door staff. They're pretty strict here. Photocopy of the ID. It's like when... I love when your photo ID Your license when it expires
Starting point is 01:34:27 And you try to use it and they won't take it It's like I'm still It's me still I'm older The dates are all still accurate It's so weird Passport that's right Alright well thank you guys
Starting point is 01:34:40 So we went a little long Thank you American Comedy Company Thank you Sandy Agans well thank you guys so we went a little long thank you American Comedy Company thank you Sandy Agans thank you to Billy Bonnell Brian Redman and Greg Fitzsimmons and as always
Starting point is 01:34:56 Justin Bieber is a shithead and guys who think they can date friends Without them finding out Are a shithead Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you
Starting point is 01:35:23 Cause Doug loves movies

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