Doug Loves Movies - Greg Fitzsimmons, Brian Redban, and Billy Bonnell Guest
Episode Date: January 25, 2014Live from the American Comedy Company in San Diego, Doug welcomes Greg Fitzsimmons, Brian Redban, and Billy Bonnell to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California ...Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey! Hey everybody! Hey, everybody.
This microphone sounds not hot enough.
Oh, this one's really nice.
Can this one be like that one?
Yes, it can.
That was like a magic trick.
La, la, la. Boom, it can. That was like a magic trick. La, la, la.
Boom, it works.
Thank you, American Comedy Company,
for giving me sound,
for giving me amplification.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Top of Movies.
That was pretty good.
Coming to you once again
from the American Comedy Company,
it's Sweet Home San Diego
on Saturday, January 25th,
2014, Wolf of Wall Street Fighter.
Let me see your name tags, Sandy D.
Oh, wow.
I knew there'd be some good ones.
How'd you guys get in the front row with no name tags?
You practically look naked.
Jeff, who lives at home in San Diego,
and then your poster is all the great Jeffs from the history of cinema.
Jeffrey Wright, Jeff Goldblum.
And what is this one?
The Great Case?
Like The Great Race, but your name is Casey.
Oh, there's a little Y.
I see Casey.
And it's all pictures from The Great Race.
If I was picking the name tags, then that would be my pick.
Nicholas Collage. Coll pick. Nicholas Collage.
Collage.
Nicholas Collage.
And what's your name?
Nick.
Nick, okay.
It's very, I don't even know what's happening right here.
Calvin Marshall?
That's your name?
Calvin Daniels.
Okay.
And then you wrote that on a piece of paper.
Is there a movie tie-in there?
There's a movie called Calvin Marshall?
Oh, okay.
Guess I don't love him as much as I thought I did.
And then there's an album cover. Is that my face on the dogs?
It's your face
And then who's the other guy?
It's a dog
With your face on it
And then there's another guy who also has your face on him
And it was Barry Manilow
So it's your face on there? And it was Barry Manilow. So it's your face on there twice
and it says, I love beagles.
What about that makes you think
it's going to be chosen?
Good luck, buddy.
Los Angeles, Monday,
the first ever Getting Doug with High
live at Largo.
Five special guests smoking in a semicircle on stage for your viewing and listening pleasure.
Largo-LA.com for tickets.
Use discount code GETDUG.
Please use it.
It'll save you $10.
And, of course, we'll attempt to stream it live at youtube.com slash Doug
Benson at 9pm Pacific
Standard Time.
Stay up late, East Coast. Right?
You can't all be
San Diego
with this fucking beautiful weather.
Yeah, it's
ridiculous.
From the corrections department,
I was wondering
why Bridget Fonda wasn't in movies
anymore, and
SlackerRock
wrote to me on Twitter
saying that she left movies
to start a family with composer
Danny Elfman.
To which I say, boo.
I'd rather he quit
and take care of the kids.
I love Danny Elfman. I love
Ongo Boingo, but that was too good
to pass up that
joke.
But also, his
theme music to movies, I don't know.
He hasn't done anything that's
excited me lately, and she excites me
always.
San Francisco, Benson movie interruption comes to
SF Sketch Fest on Saturday
February 8th at 420
I'm interrupting Twilight Part 2
New Moon
So it's actually Twilight colon
New Moon
Go to sfsketchfest.com
To get your tickets
Bay Arians
That's not a good thing to call people go to sfsketchfest.com to get your tickets. Bay Arians.
That's not a good thing to call people.
We got a great prize bag.
I got some underwear at the Gap the other day.
So I got this bag, and it's bursting at the seams because of all the stuff that's in here.
It's almost too much stuff for me to even deal with
without assistance.
Some guy sent me this book.
A guy named David Krokmal sent me a book called
Am I Jesus or Am I Just Stoned?
And I glanced at
parts of it and it seemed to have some
fun things to say.
Interesting things about
weed and the Bible.
So that's in the prize bag
because I'm not going to read it.
If you get the prize bag today, I would love it
if you tweeted to me and told me all about your feelings
about reading
am I Jesus or am I just stone
you know what I'm going to quit fucking around
and get the guests out here
because
this bag is deep with stuff
that just reveals exactly who they are
and then we've also got another bag of Steel C.
Please welcome Billy Bonnell, Greg Fitzsimmons, and Brian Redband.
Hey, now.
Hey, American Comedy Company Can I have another
Like thing of water
One of these Fiji waters
Or something
And also Fiji waters
Could you now give me a lot of money
For that free
Free advertisement
On a very popular podcast.
It's Greg Fitzsimmons, you guys.
It's his first time.
Thank you.
Thank you.
He's here this weekend headlining
for the first time the American
Comedy Company. Tonight and tomorrow.
And you're having a blast?
It's a lot of fun.
It's a little humiliating to have not sold out
my last show here at 8pm
and it's the afternoon
and the place is fucking jammed
well you know these people are smart
they figured out they could see you here
get kind of a twofer
no it's Saturday nights are becoming
increasingly more difficult to like
if I did this show it's Saturday night here
some of you guys would have come
and gotten in or whatever but a lot of you would have said
fuck it
and others wouldn't have gotten in
because of just the regular folks that just
like it's Saturday night let's go to the
American Comedy Company
so then I'd have a bunch of people,
the whole audience would be full
of people like these two folks,
who clearly don't know what's gonna happen
today.
And they're already baffled. They're like,
it's four people on stools.
We didn't know.
We didn't know it was gonna be a gang lecture.
No, I don't know. Do you guys listen to the podcast? Oh, you do. You just didn't know it was going to be a gang lecture. No, I don't know.
Do you guys listen to the podcast?
Oh, you do.
You just didn't make name tags because you're like,
what are the odds we'll be in the front row
with perfect opportunity to get selected?
And there you are.
Also in the prize bag is a copy of Gateway, Doug, my album.
But what did you put in here, Greg?
You brought a
video?
Yeah, I just did a special on Comedy Central
called Life on Stage. That's
the DVD-CD combo pack
together. If you
don't get it, go to Netflix. You can download
it on Netflix for free.
And I get no money for that.
This is a
nice keepsake.
It is a keepsake.
And someday could be an heirloom.
That's what happens to keepsakes.
Brian Redband is here, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, Brian.
What's up? What's up?
Thank you for coming down from Los Angeles to be here.
I know you love San Diego.
Yes.
Isn't Comic-Con, being in San Diego during Comic-Con
is probably the best of all worlds.
I think Comic-Con has become the new, like, AVN for me.
I have more fun.
I have more fun with, like...
There's strangely more skin at Comic-Con than at ABN.
I have more fun with Daria than I do with, like, you know,
Nikki Bentz nowadays.
Those little girls that dress up in those cute little characters
are so hot.
Okay, Brian, it was nice talking to you.
Did they let you into SeaWorld down here?
Yeah, with my brony pass.
You brought a couple of items from the clothing people, the Hundreds.
Yeah.
They do nice stuff.
And then describe this other shirt that you brought.
This is a out-of-print, original, number one Death Squad shirt
that has been not ever worn, and it's very rare.
You could actually just probably sell it
or it's a XXXL so you could probably
give it to a fat girlfriend.
More like fat ex-girlfriend.
But yeah, that's the original shirt.
A lot of people want that shirt too.
I just found it the other day.
Sought after. Fight for it.
Fight for it, San Diego.
And I brought a Doug Loves
Movies shirt, so you're going to be clothed
for three days
just by winning
tonight. And Billy
Bonnell is here, everybody. Very funny.
Funny comedian.
From these
parts, but now you live up in L.A.
and you're available for parties up there.
Private parties.
Private parties.
So what's all that stuff in the bag, man?
You brought a whole bag of your own.
I think I overdid it.
Yeah, look at that thing, you guys.
My girlfriend...
Clearing out his house.
My girlfriend said you can't have the Padres bag
since we don't already have six of them.
I brought three ninjas on DVD.
If you can't tell, it's my personal copy.
It has my initials on it.
Makes the rest of us feel like we just brought turds.
That was an explosion.
I think I'm the only person that didn't bring something
to promote myself
I made a huge mistake
I also have a collection of
Winona Ryder
I have seen this so infrequently
This is movies where Winona Ryder is drunk
Yes
It's a Winona Ryder collection
It's four great movies at one low price.
Also, believe it or not, I have two copies of this.
I brought one for you today.
The Warren Commission Report.
It's a good read.
That's a thick-ass book, man.
Yeah, don't try to read it high
You're gonna need some Adderall
A lot of lies in that book
I have one real prize
This is actually my favorite
This is a Scorsese box set
It has Boxcar Bertha
Which is a really good movie
None of you have heard of it
Because there was zero cheers
Boxcar Bertha
Never heard of it
New York, New York.
Special edition. Do you guys not
know these movies? This is the
same guy that made Gangs of New York.
Oh, that's not
in there, though? No.
You guys know, it has Raging Bull.
Everyone knows Raging Bull. Oh, that's a good one.
It has Raging Bull? Yes.
Way to bury the lead on that one.
Does it have Age of Innocence?
So here's your prize pack.
Take it.
There it is.
You're welcome.
Does it have...
Alice doesn't live here anymore?
It doesn't.
We're not opening it to the floor.
I actually named three of the four movies.
Let's guess the last one.
And what are all these stickers you brought, Brian Redband?
You brought Death Squad stickers.
Death Squad, Ari Shaffir stickers.
I think there's some Tony Hinchcliffe
stickers in there. I just brought a collection
of stickers.
What? I just put them in the bag.
I'm good at this.
It's a great collection.
Yeah, it's really nice. Thank you, Greg.
I'll put the rest of these in this
other bag that I got in my lap.
And let's talk movies, you guys.
Let's get into this.
Have you been to the movies lately, Billy?
Yes.
What did you see, man?
I almost said Gangs of New York because it's so crazy.
Lone Survivor.
Oh.
That movie's intense, right?
Too intense.
Oh, okay.
But I actually saw a review right before I said it
that said it's the next Saving Private Ryan.
Not true.
It's a good movie, but Saving Private Ryan is fucking awesome.
Right.
Fuck Mark Wahlberg.
And this movie's just fucking good.
Super good, though.
I heard it's like Call of Duty.
I heard it's just like a cut scene from Call of Duty
that's two hours long.
The whole movie is like a first-person shooter.
That's what I heard.
It's making me dizzy.
You know the kind of porn I don't like?
First-person shooter.
I don't get off on seeing that.
Have you been to the movies lately, Brian?
I know you're really busy.
You've got a million podcasts that you're doing.
Yeah, last I saw was Anchorman, too.
I don't really go to the movies
because I just work so much,
so I just watch them on iTunes,
but I pay for that early release shit.
I do that.
I just saw Bad Grandpa.
That was good.
Wait, there's an extra fee on Netflix
for early releases?
On iTunes they have this thing
where the movie comes out
a month before it comes out
you can pretty much buy it for $20.
Sometimes I'm like,
you know what, that's fine.
That's like a date.
I'm with a girl right now.
$20 is fine. Yeah, that'm like, you know what, that's fine. That's like a date. I'm with a girl right now. 20 bucks is fine.
Yeah, that's a cheap-ass date, man.
He doesn't even feed them.
No.
Apparently nothing else
happens that night
except the movie.
The movie.
They're just like,
I'm so hungry.
Have Jack Daniels.
Drink this.
Watch the movie.
Stay quiet.
I don't have any mixer,
so we have to use tequila.
I'm going to get you drunk,
and we're not going to eat,
and we're going to watch
Blue is the Warmest Color,
and after the three hours is over,
if you do not want to make love to me,
you're free to leave
But I'll give you some stickers on the way out
$20 date
I did it
Red Band's too fancy
Buys the movies on iTunes pre-release
If it's not on Netflix
My girlfriend's way out of luck
You go through Netflix so fast, though. I've actually
watched all the good stuff on Netflix,
I feel like.
You gotta take some chances and watch some weird
stuff. There's so many documentaries
now, and I find that
a documentary, for it to get
funded and made and show up
anywhere, it has
to kind of have something to it,
some story to it that's unique
and that someone thought would be
interesting. And so I find
most documentaries, like I rarely
see a documentary that I hate.
Yeah, my problem is I
watch them at night
and I take a sleeping pill
first, then I
figure it'll help me fall asleep, and I have
watched the same documentary twice
and realized halfway through
that I had already seen it.
And I knew that Kennedy
was shot at the end
and it fucked it up.
Every documentary
ends like Inception.
You're just like,
things are starting to melt
and stuff
when the sleeping pill
kicks in.
Yeah, it was a good movie
about corn,
but that last part
where the corn
was like melting.
You know how if you fall asleep during a movie,
there's a strange thing that happens where you'll actually
kick awake right when the end credits start.
You'll wake up and be like, oh shit, it's the ending.
But with documentaries, if that happens,
when you wake up, usually at that end part,
it tells you what happened to all of the primary characters.
And so you feel like some closure.
Right.
Although it worked out okay for them.
That's good.
Although that's also true with any Spielberg movie because it always ends where it started.
Like it starts at the graveyard and then it kicks back in time.
And then it finishes back at the graveyard
where they sum up
what just happened
in case you missed it.
Yeah, he does a lot of that.
I didn't even see,
did that happen in War Horse?
I didn't see War Horse.
I missed it.
Yeah, it started in the stable,
ended in the stable.
Yeah, War Horse
is my first Spielberg opt-out.
It was the first time in my life
that I did not see
the newest Spielberg.
And you know what?
I feel okay with it.
Is this a full departure or you might go back to the next one?
No, I'll go back.
I just with War Horse, I was just like, I want to see the play where dudes walk around
pretending to be horses.
Because it seems to me like that's the exciting part about that play.
And to turn it into a movie with real horses running around getting shot at, I don't need to see that.
I want to see dudes
in a horse costume.
It's awesome.
I saw War Horse
on Broadway.
That's what I'm saying.
It's really good, right?
It's so good.
Yeah.
I didn't even think
someone goes,
we're going to go
to a Broadway play
and I was like,
I don't want to go.
They're like,
the ticket's free.
I was like,
all right,
I'll be there.
Then you get there
and you're like,
this is the most amazing,
no wonder they charge $150
for tickets. Those fucking guys
really act like horses, man.
They really seem real. Yeah, there's three
dudes running each horse, so there's like front
legs, back legs, but there's a guy on the outside
working the head and he's
doing such a good job that you just stop seeing
him. You're just seeing the horse
all side, taking drugs. Wait, you become a complete
idiot?
him. You're just seeing the horse all side, taking drugs. Wait, you become a
complete idiot?
That's how mesmerizing it is?
It's so good. Yeah, I love
that shit. I try to say something serious and I get bashed.
No, no, it's cool. I feel the same way
about, you start to look at the puppets like in
Avenue Q and stuff. When those people
do that shit well, it's like, it is
art and it's
you know,
you do look at,
you look where they want you to look.
Yeah.
Well,
it's like Jeff Dunham.
Like,
you don't realize
at the end
that he's not
a flagrant racist.
You really think
it's the puppet
that's having
these thoughts.
He should do,
every Jeff Dunham
show should have
the same,
this backdrop
that they have
here at
American Comedy Company.
Because it really kind of says what is most important about his comedy is America.
Yeah.
For those of you who listen to the podcast, it's an American flag and a balding.
It makes Colbert's backdrop look like a pinko flag.
A pinko flag.
I love it, too, because it's always as it's look at it.
We're sitting in front of it and it's as lit.
It's more well lit than we are.
That fucking sign.
You can't put a shadow on it.
There's only 20 stars on that flag also Oh yeah
Yeah that's what happens when it ruffles in the wind
They got that flag in Mexico
It's the 20 good ones though
That's right
I just like it when you're doing a comedy show
I like the audience to have a bald eagle to look at
Just to remind themselves
Of the majesty,
the majestic grace that is comedy.
So Greg's got kids,
so he's going to probably give me
the same sad Pixar story
that we hear over and over again.
Like what movies have you seen lately?
Frozen.
It's pretty good.
That does look like a good one, though.
No, I didn't see it.
Oh.
I hear Josh Gad is fun as the snowman whose head falls off all the time.
And you really believe that it's a snowman?
Well, I'll suspend my disbelief for a cartoon.
It's about princesses.
Is it?
Yeah, and they marketed it with just the snowman,
and the little boys all got tricked, and they all love it.
So it's turning the entire country gay.
Right, like every boy band.
They become lesbians because they find out later
that all the boys in the band were gay.
And they were pleasuring themselves.
Here's what I saw.
Now tell us more about your children.
I went out and I saw Wolf of Wall Street.
Oh, you ran off on your own.
You were able to ditch everybody for four hours?
Well, I'm on the road, so on the weekends I'll go see a movie.
Oh, there you go. Okay.
And so, which I'm
calling Wolf of Wall Street, Stock Fellas.
It was exactly the
same movie as Goodfellas.
And I wish that Scorsese would just do that
with every industry
throughout the world.
Just tell how everything's done
but with the backdrop being
a lot of partying and ultimate failure.
Right.
It's like a woman in a Chinese laundromat, and it's her pressing shirts.
But then she finds out that actually there's a way to do it where you can take money from the cash register.
Then she starts doing coke.
Fucking a lot of guys in the end.
She has to turn.
The government turns her.
Yeah.
The dragon of Shirt Street.
Right.
Oh, that's going... I'm making a shirt of that one.
Man, just add pot, the comedy comes right out.
Nobody else could have thought of that without pot.
Oh, shit.
How are we doing on time, you guys?
I'm doing good.
You've never been on the show before, Greg,
so I bestow upon you a gentleman made
a business card-sized rules of the Leonard Maltin game
that if you read them,
you'll just suddenly know exactly what to do.
It's good that he did it in a two font.
Yeah, he had to squeeze it all out there.
Jesus Christ.
You can't even read it with your prescription glasses.
Do you want me to read them? Is that what you're saying?
No, no. Well, I just want you to have that.
If you have a moment,
you could read it.
And just so you're,
you know, you know what's happening.
I think Billy's heard the show. You've both heard the show a few times.
Yeah, I've heard it a few times.
I think you'll be able to play along.
We've got a couple other games we're going to play,
but as the listeners and the audience here today know,
I've learned to make them simpler.
And people beg me to play Build-A-Title again,
and I swear I will someday.
But you can't just force it on any guests.
It takes a special breed of guest.
That pedigree is not here tonight.
I'm taking a wait-and-see approach.
Brian's been on the show twice before,
and he never seems confused
by anything.
No,
I just never know
the movies you're talking about.
I always win by default.
He always has
the same face too.
Yeah,
some of them are too old.
Brian only knows
movies he watched
on iTunes last night.
Right.
If there was a category
of that.
I should know
because I was a projectionist
for like 12 years and I've seen
I saw Wayne's World like 80 times.
That was my favorite movie growing up.
I just sat there and watched it every
So who do you think is top billed in the
cast of Wayne's World?
I have no idea.
Really?
Dude, I smoke a lot of weed.
I thought you'd be able to narrow it down to two people.
I was just curious which one you thought.
Of course Mike Myers would get top billing.
Third place.
Yeah, who's the third billing on that one?
Tia Carrere?
Oh, Rob Lowe.
Really, you think?
Tia Carrere or Laura Flynn
Boyle shows
up to get physically abused quite
a bit.
Did you know, here's a little tip from Wayansworld,
that they used to play the song Stairway in Heaven when they showed the sign Stairway in Heaven.
And then when it went on video and DVD and stuff like that,
they wouldn't pay the rights for that.
Now the joke used to be, you know, the song,
now it goes up and it's just generic.
Like, do-ing-dong-dong.
Whoa, that's the most generic music I've ever heard.
That was from several countries.
That was from the dragon of shirt street.
I don't know why it went...
I was thinking of Tia Carrere.
So he made an Asian sound.
Here's my generic.
I was like, I need to Facebook her when I get home
see if she's still alive
see what she looks like
I have a feeling you already have
I don't know what just happened
but it was fun
let's play some games you guys
let the games begin Let's play some games, you guys.
Let the games begin.
I reckon it's time.
Everyone here, or most people here,
have name tags that they created that are movie-related.
Sometimes they're gluten-free items.
Sometimes there's cakes or balloons.
And some people light their own signs up,
which is smart to do.
So if all three of you gentlemen could just go
select the name tag you want to play for
and physically take it from them
and bring it back to your seat.
I see some iPad technology type of thing.
Find a person way in the back.
And while they do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
And we're back.
Who are you guys?
That didn't take long at all.
Let's start with Greg Fitzsimmons here on the end.
Just look right into the camera and show me the name tag.
Tell me who you're playing for.
Today I'm playing for Wendy,
who's wearing a flannel shirt.
And she held this up directly in front of her face,
and I didn't really look down.
I just saw flannel and this,
and I said, thank you, sir.
And it was very awkward.
And then I looked down,
and I saw two big tits,
and I went, oh,
Wendy.
So, yeah, we're playing
for her. She has a copy of my
book, which is why I picked her.
She put a post with her name on it.
So, you know, I'm
continuing to promote.
It's called Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons.
Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons.
And it's a book.
Tales of Redemption.
Tales of Redemption from an Irish mailbox.
It's all letters.
My mother collected every bad behavior report
and arrest reports and clippings from the newspaper
when I was arrested, and she saved them.
And I found them as an adult,
and I wrote a book about all of them.
That's great.
I love it.
Wow.
Yeah.
Who are you playing for, Brian?
I am playing for Deanna.
Deanna.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
Show me that again.
That's really...
Yeah, it's pretty badass, right?
Look at the craftsmanship on that.
I know.
It's sweet, right?
She really...
She took a piece of masking tape and wrote Deanna on there.
And then put it on a San Diego State marching hat.
Yeah, right?
She's probably going to need that hat back.
I was thinking of Tia Carrere
wearing it, so that's why I got it.
The whole marching band.
The staple of the SDSU band.
Why aren't you wearing your hat?
I traded it for a bag of crap.
It's tough to be in a marching band
when you're the gong player.
Right.
Billy, who are you playing for?
I think his name is Robert.
Could be Junior.
I'm not sure.
I gave mine away already, but it's a bottle of detergent.
It's a bottle of Downy.
Downy.
And at the top it says Robert.
In the middle with the actual label it says Downy.
And then a picture of Junior from Problem Child.
That's a good choice.
I picked this one because he's probably the only other person that didn't put his on regular paper.
Poster board is so outdated. The next Doug Loves Movies. I picked this one because he's probably the only other person that didn't put his on regular paper.
Poster board is so outdated.
The next Doug Loves Movies, everyone bring your shit on household items.
Right.
And be fucking super clever.
But then you were disappointed that there wasn't actual stuff in there.
Yeah, if there was detergent in here, I was going to use it.
I bet right before he made this, he's like, I better get the rest of the detergent out of there.
He probably had a full amount of detergent.
And he was like, well, what are we going to put it in? Now he's got a belly full of detergent, probably.
Doug, do you want to smell this hat?
What?
Smell it.
Why?
Because there's a lot of teenage sweat in there.
Band sweat.
Band girl sweat.
Is there a shithead inside here?
What?
Is that what this is?
Did you put a shithead inside here? What? Is that what this is? Did you put a shithead inside
here? Yes. Okay.
No, I'm not going to smell it.
Thank you.
Thank you for the offer. I appreciate it.
There's shit in here? No.
A shithead. Where's Wendy? Where'd you put your
shithead? Is it on the back of the post-it?
Okay, it's on the post-it.
And Greg, as you know from
listening to the show all the way through to the end,
I give away the prize bag to whoever you guys win.
Whichever guy wins, that's who you're playing for.
They'll get the prize bag.
But if they don't drink the detergent...
No, I was going to ask you to smell it.
Oh, okay.
You know what's weird is it smells like teenage band players too.
That's a problem.
But if they lose, I'll name anybody
a shithead for them at the end of the show.
It's the goodbye at the end.
Good. You have heard it. It's fun, yeah.
I enjoy it.
I ask comics all the time, well listen to my show before
you do it. And they go, yeah, I heard it. It's great.
I love it. No problem.
And then as soon as we get to the
shithead thing what's happening oh it's at the very end of the show oh I didn't listen to the
whole thing I just listened right up to the part where you started to say stuff that I needed to
know no I listened through the end and then I uh I listened for the credits you wake up for the
credits right now it's time time for Doug to watch another.
Okay.
I got three games picked out for you guys today.
And the first one, the lighting up here is so crazy that it's hard for me to read my own notes.
I feel like I should be touching my nose and walking a straight line with these lights.
Do you write in cursive, Doug?
It's very bright.
No, it's just my version of scribbling.
My notes look like they're made by R. Crumb's brother.
So...
The first game we're going to play is called How Much Did This Shit Make?
It's a guessing game, just like on Price is Right.
You guys are going to take turns. We'll start with Greg,
and then we'll go to Billy, and then to Brian.
You just get to guess how much
one particular movie made at the domestic box office
according to Box Office Mojo.
And just like Price is Right,
you don't want to go over
and one guy can pull the asshole bid of $1
if they think the other two guys have gone over.
I'm in the power position right now.
What's that?
I said I'm in the power position right now.
Well, Brian's going to go third, so that would probably be the power position.
Oh, I thought you said I was last.
No, you're second.
Oh, I'll go home now.
I was hoping no one would even know what the power position was.
And you just play the game like a bunch of innocents.
The movie.
Normally I pick a movie that was filmed
Like oh this shitty movie was filmed in San Diego
But I found a movie that I used to love
I think it's probably terrible
That was shot mostly in San Diego called Scavenger Hunt
Oh my god is right
If you get a chance to watch it somehow
It's kind of crazy
It's got people stealing ostriches
from the San Diego Zoo.
Tony Randall is in it.
It was directed by Michael Schultz,
who, prior to that,
had done, like, Car Wash, I think.
So, anyway,
so I looked that movie up.
Let's see how...
That probably didn't make much money.
That'll be funny.
And I looked it up,
and next to it on Box Office Mojo,
it said, N.A., you know, not applicable.
Like, there's no reason to get into it.
How much money Scavenger Hunt made.
Right.
Roddy McDowell was in it.
I was a big fan of Planet of the Apes movies
when I was younger, so...
So, anyway.
But they're running around, like, Balboa Park,
and, like, it's a scavenger hunt in San Diego, so you see a they're running around Balboa Park,
and it's a scavenger hunt in San Diego,
so you see a lot of San Diego in the course of the movie.
I think I even tried to be an extra in it.
I think I showed up one day and stood around somewhere.
Okay, so the movie I picked in honor of what is probably a terrible movie playing this weekend
called I, Frankenstein.
It's probably
really bad, right? You saw it already?
Who saw it?
For reals?
Why?
Why do you want to know, bro?
Just chilling in San Diego.
You're all up in my movie choices.
Shit.
No, but I went with another Aaron Eckhart vehicle that was not well received by brains called Battle Los Angeles.
Sure.
Battle Los Angeles.
I liked it.
Hey, Mikey.
I have not seen it.
I have not seen it I'm sad to say
because someone
a friend of mine
hated it so much
that I was like
oh I can pass on this
plus I live in Los Angeles
I'd prefer there wasn't
a battle happening there
what do you think Greg?
how much do you think
Battle Los Angeles made?
well
it's Aaron Eckhart
so you know
on Women Alone
he made upwards of six dollars
because he's always mean to them in every movie he's in I don't think he was it was sold as an
Aaron Eckhart vehicle I think the ads you didn't even know he was in it right so yeah so that's
probably the only one lady figured it out is this like a mat. Is this like the American Spelling Bee
where you can ask questions about the film?
People can ask questions,
but I am in no mood to help you.
Because I think you already have enough information
to play the game.
I'm going to say it made
two million dollars.
Okay.
It's almost like coming out of the gate
with the one dollar bid.
You can get fucked with this strategy,
but we'll see.
We'll see what happens when we go to
Billy.
I mean, they probably made more.
I'm just saying they didn't turn in all the receipts.
It was a little bit of a...
We don't bring shifty bookkeeping into it.
Okay.
Unless it's not applicable.
Billy?
Zero dollars is not an answer, right?
Because I can't imagine it.
No, but I would love it because it would be this most spectacularly stupid bid
in the history of this game.
Because he said two million.
So you'd only get that zero to two million window
on what was a pretty major motion picture that came out.
All right, I got $11 million.
Aaron Eckhart, it has a nice ring to it, $11 million.
Wasn't really an Aaron Eckhart vehicle, though.
Brian?
I am freaking out now.
Why?
Because I can't figure out if like $11 million is a lot of money.
That's how rich Redman is.
Battle of Los Angeles was like two years ago, right?
One or two years ago?
He does that on Dead Squad shirts.
Am I allowed to ask?
I think it was Two Oceans 11.
Because I'm kind of freaking out.
I might be too dogged right now.
Like, how much does, like, a shitty movie usually make?
Can I even ask that?
I can't help you with that.
Like, how much did, like, Toy Story 3 make?
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
That's a major fucking box office smash.
Hey, please, please.
Hey, go ahead and guess $900 million.
Brian Redman's guess is $900 million.
International.
I will say $2.7 million.
This one's a real squeaker.
Let it be 2.5.
Let it be 2.5.
Battle Los Angeles made 82.5. Battle Los Angeles made
82.5
million dollars.
Thank you.
It might be 83.5
because I forgot to write it down.
Does that include popcorn and candy?
That seems high.
It does, but it had like a two or three weekend run there
before the word got out.
At first, people were just excited to see Los Angeles in ruin,
I think, and then it coasted to a couple more good weekends, I think.
Was there a movie that was
a parody of that movie, one of those movies
that was like Battlefield Earth
and it was supposed to be just an exact copy
of Battle Earth or whatever that movie
was called? I think I saw
that, and that's what I was
thinking of. What were you thinking
of when you guessed $700,000
above
mine, thereby creating a vacuum.
Because I really thought maybe it only made $3 million.
But I guessed...
To $11 million.
But you understand the math of what you did, right?
No, you can't go, I went right above you.
No, you didn't.
You went $700,000 above you.
No, I said 2.7.
I said two.
Right.
So I said 2.7.
So there's $700,000 unaccounted for dollars.
Oh.
What?
I thought you just bid higher, like if you were closer to like 4 million.
But if you had gone $1 ahead of me...
Oh, why did I do 2.7?
Right.
Oh, just because... for fun.
Like I always say the number seven.
You like seven.
It's lucky.
That's right.
Okay.
I didn't get it before.
Now I understand.
For the listeners at home,
Brian had stepped out during my entire discussion with Billy Bonnell
about zero to two million.
Yeah, I wasn't paying attention.
Got way too
dug. I'm sorry.
Yeah, so Billy,
you won that one handily.
Only means
you get to go first in this next game.
And then we'll switch the order around.
I'll go second.
And then we'll go to... Wait we'll go I'll go second and then we'll go to wait you go second yeah then we'll go to Greg and then to Brian
yeah this is a game I like to play along called the Seth Rogen game aka last man
Stanton and the object of this game, is we will get the name of a director
or an actor or actress.
I think we did him once before,
the guy with the Nicolas Cage sign.
I mean, I'd be up for doing it again,
but that would be like,
I would have to recuse myself
because that would be like cheating
because I just heard it.
So we'll see.
Let me, one, first things first.
First of all, you guys are way too high for this.
We'll get a name, actor, actress, or director,
we'll get a name for somebody in the audience,
and then we take turns naming movies that person did.
And even when it's somebody that's made like 50, 80 movies,
you'd be surprised how hard it gets
and how quickly it gets hard.
Hey, explain that to Redman.
It's the Viagra of games.
Does it stay hard for a long time?
It stays really hard the whole time.
Once it gets hard, it stays hard.
Until someone wins.
Until everybody finishes.
How long until you have to consult a doctor?
No one liked that?
Let's get a...
No, but it was a good edit point.
Let's get...
Not that we edit the show,
but I just mean it was a good point for me to move on
and ask you guys...
The guy is so sad about Nicolas Cage not being an option
because that would be fun.
We did do Nicolas Cage once before.
Do you have a backup suggestion?
Ed Norton? Ed Norton?
Wow.
Have we done Ed Norton?
It feels like we've done it.
Right?
We did it.
Jesus, you guys.
Settle down.
I gotta say William H. Macy
Was the first thing I heard
I think that's gonna be a disaster though
Let's just
Here's what we'll do
Settle down
Don't you make me
I'll turn this club around.
He's serious, you guys.
I think I just heard Steve Martin.
Brian.
Oh, I see.
You're begging for one that you actually...
Because I was going to say,
let's just, first of all,
let's test this thing.
Brian, can you name any movies
that have William H. Macy in them?
Yeah, that one city place.
What?
The one where the wood chipper.
Isn't he in that one?
No, the answer's no.
I cannot.
Brian Redband's alternate titles.
I think Fargo should have been called the wood chipper.
Yeah.
It's like, and that's what it was translated to in the Chinese release.
Wood chipper of the woods.
Oh yeah, you know that's what they called that over there.
Wood chipper of death.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Wood chipper of doom.
Oh, Boogie Nights, duh.
That was a great one.
Okay, so you proved you can name one.
But I was pretty accurate in my assuming
that it would be tough for you.
So let's do Steve Martin.
Oh, all right, yeah.
I don't normally let the players pick,
but I still have a feeling you're not going to win.
normally let the players pick, but I still have a feeling you're not
going to win.
Billy, name any movie that
Steve Martin was in. The Jerk.
Oh.
Alright, I'm going to go
Little Shop of Horrors.
The Pink Panther.
Parenthood 2.
What just happened?
Why did you?
That was the equivalent of guessing $700,000 above the clearly highest bid.
Why did you say that?
I don't know.
I thought it was already going to be set pretty early.
At the very least, why not take a breath
after Parenthood and hope that I say yes
before adding the two?
Why did you think there was a Parenthood two?
Huh?
You know Steve Martin was in it. First of all, you wanted this Huh? You know Steve Martin
was in it.
First of all,
you wanted this cat,
you wanted Steve Martin
to be the choice
and then your first answer...
I was just playing around.
Do you want me to give you
a real answer?
Yes.
All right.
Dead men don't wear plaid.
Okay.
That Parenthood 2
was just playing around.
Yeah.
You gotta be careful with the playing around.
I'm sorry.
I mean, that was like saying bomb near a TSA agent.
Right.
I didn't think the movie was that bad.
Which one?
Oh, I like that Dead Men Don't Reply.
Yeah.
Kind of experimental.
I loved it.
I didn't love it all the way through, but... That's where they took clips of old black and white movies
and mixed it together.
I remember at one point he had a plate of cookies
and he goes, have a cookie.
Try one.
I made them myself.
I think if you rewatch it,
that's a great rewatch, especially stoned.
It's really funny.
There's some really funny parts in it.
What do you got, Billy?
Parenthood 1.
I'm going to go with Pink Panther 2.
I'm pretty sure there was a three.
But I'm not sure, so I'm going to say Roxanne.
That's the fun part about this game,
is they cheer for the movies they like.
So if you pick ones that they like,
it gets a big reaction.
And it feels good.
It felt good.
It does, yeah.
Feels like someone just put a cookie in your mouth.
L.A.'s story.
Yeah! Now he's getting cocky.
Blazing saddles?
Am I out?
Am I out already?
Was that your comedy answer?
Yeah, it absolutely was.
Let me try one more time with my real answer.
Three Amigos?
I don't know if I like this version of the game.
Oh, it's on me?
My Blue Heaven Fuck you, that was mine
I was like, no one's gonna think of this one
I believe, technically, Parenthood 1 was not named
No, it was No, I believe Billy technically, Parenthood 1 was not named. No, it was.
No, I believe.
Billy scooped it up.
I didn't say it was or wasn't.
I said I believe.
Hey, if you want to kill more,
if you want to buy yourself more time,
name a bunch of other ones we've already said.
I'm pretty sure Pink Panther.
L.A. Story.
Nope, already been said. I'm pretty sure Pink Panther. L.A. Story. Nope.
Already been said.
Seriously?
Yeah.
That was my last.
I thought you were taking my advice and saying one that was already said.
That was his comedy choice.
Wow, this does go fast, doesn't it?
Yeah.
I'm going to say Pink Panther 3.
Okay, now you're out.
Shit, really? Yeah, you don't get
to play no more. You'll be back in the next game.
God damn it. Brian?
Pennies from Heaven.
Don't feel so happy you named the category.
I know. I'm just happy.
Because I
forgot about that movie and then I remembered that movie title
and I was like, I forgot about that.
It's exciting.
Can I name a book he wrote?
Billy.
Because that's where I'm at right now.
Can I name a New Yorker article he wrote?
You got anything, Billy?
Pink Panther 4.
I'm going to go with
Cheaper by the Dozen.
I already said that.
Am I allowed to ask
if something's been said already?
Or no?
No, but you're allowed to say
the most obvious answer
in the world.
I said Cheaper by the Dozen. said already? No. No, but you're allowed to say the most obvious answer in the world. Play.
I said Cheaper by the Dozen.
Cheaper by the Dozen 2.
That's correct.
I didn't even know that was a movie.
I'm talking about good Steve Martin.
All right.
Father of the Bride.
Okay.
Novocaine.
Whoa.
Okay.
Father of the Bride 2.
Okay.
Okay.
Fuck.
My Blue Heaven?
Already said it.
Ah, fuck my life.
Was Planes, Trains, and Automobiles already said also?
No!
No!
See, I forgot to
pay attention to what was said already
because I didn't know that was part of the game.
You know what else wasn't said?
And I'm going to say it right now.
Bowfinger.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, now it's getting pretty hairy.
Come on, Brian.
Don't make me say the last one for the win.
Fuck.
I got it in my head.
I got it.
I got it in my head.
I got one.
I got it in my head.
I got one.
I got it in my head.
I'm ready.
Oh.
I'm ready to say it.
I can say it.
I know I can say it.
Now I have two.
Now I have two.
Two different ones I can say.
Wait, wait, wait.
But now that I have two, it's confusing me.
Now I'm going to forget both.
How about a movie called...
I win, I win, I win.
Little Shop of Horrors.
Already said it.
Who did?
I said it early on.
Wrote it down and everything.
How about then...
Oh, Grand Canyon.
Oh, son of a bitch!
Man with two brains.
What else have you got?
Oh.
The one
with the
switching places
with the
old lady chick with the
face. Now I've got another one.
Mrs. Delphi?
Man, my two brains. It's not that.
It's a...
Three seconds, Brian.
Oh, fuck my life.
Three, two, one.
Say the movie, Doug.
That one's called All of Me.
And the other one that I had
is Looney Tunes, Back in Action.
Wow.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
is a great one.
How the fuck?
What else?
There's a bunch of them.
It's complicated.
It's complicated.
What was the...
Bringing down the house.
Shouldn't they get
Death Squad stickers?
Yeah, man with two brains.
Lonely guy.
Yeah.
Lonely guy is one of my favorites too.
Shop girl.
Shop girl.
Shop girl.
That is the most enthusiastic anybody's ever been saying the word shop girl. Shop girl. Shop girl. I was actually trying to think of that one. That is the most enthusiastic anybody's ever been saying the word shop girl.
Yeah.
I tried to remember shop girl.
Sergeant Bilko.
That was another one.
Like, why?
Why do that?
What are you doing, Steve?
What was the one David Mamet one that was like the philosopher's fart hole?
Main Street.
Spanish Prisoner.
I said philosopher's fart hole.
Turns out it's Spanish Prisoner.
Was he in State and Maine?
I don't know.
I'm thinking of the Winona Ryder 4 DVD collection.
But that was a good one.
So thank you for suggesting that, Brian.
Yeah, that was fun.
All right.
So since I won that one, we go back to Billy still gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game.
Billy still gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game.
And we'll go to Brian second
because he's an old pro
and then we'll come to you, Greg.
I feel like you're disappointed in me so far.
Who were you looking at when you said that?
Everybody in the audience.
Next time, if you want to say something to America
look at the eagle behind you
I feel like I haven't been patriotic
enough
yeah your answers have been very
unpatriotic the whole time
just sing the national anthem
real quick will be good
oh
sing oh what a beautiful singing voice.
If it's a national anthem, why don't you start with Jose?
Jose, can you see?
Oh, his voice is quite beautiful.
He's going to be dead soon.
All right, so...
Good luck to us all.
Leonard Maltin game.
I get pretty high when I come down here,
so I'm just happy that everything seems to have worked so far
and that you guys have given answers
that I can make fun of you for giving,
even though I'm the one who's potted out of my skull.
Billy, your first category options are
at B-L-G, Ger Gerlin B-C-N.
Yeah, winner of the
catchiest Twitter handle.
I thought that was the name of the category.
I was like, what?
Yeah, no, that crazy person suggested...
Actually, they work in an
optometrist's office,
and that's the eye chart.
So good.
The category suggested by that I chart is wins in Scrabble,
and that's movies that begin with the letter J, Q, X, or Z.
Movies that begin with those letters.
Yeah, you'd be surprised on a couple of those how few there are.
At Bennett Radio suggested Bush vs. Gore,
and that's a slasher movie
where you see full frontal nudity.
And at Your Pal Pete suggested
The Day the Mirth Stood Still,
and that's a movie where a comedian is killed,
and it's, I'll give you one quick clue,
it's not the movie Watchmen.
Where the comedian is killed.
He dies, right?
Spoiler! Which one of those do you want to dies, right? Spoiler.
Which one of those do you want to play, Billy?
Bush versus Gore.
Okay.
Billy, don't be a hero.
Don't be a fool.
Take it, Brian.
That was way better than the national anthem.
Dong, dong, dong, dong, dong.
It's a remix. bing bong click click
okay
Leonard calls this movie that
is a slasher film with full frontal
nudity a bomb
he did not care for it the year
is 1981
yeah and
the only clue
I can give you, because
if I read the review, it might say too much.
The only clue I can give you is
that Leonard's review of this movie
is
12 words
long.
And he uses the word more twice.
Moral?
More.
More.
As in, I would like some more gruel, please.
I am an orphanage and my name is Oliver.
Right.
And Leonard lists seven names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Billy Bonnell?
Seven.
Strong, wise opening bid.
Brian Redband?
Six.
Also smart.
They're playing by the numbers, Greg.
I'll go five.
That did not sound very confident.
Billy? Name it. as are you. That did not sound very confident. Billy.
Name it.
That's what happens.
But don't worry, if you don't name it,
Billy will get a point, but we also
we play to two points, so you're still
in the game.
And you're five
out of seven names in this movie with pretty much
like a 12-word review,
but two of those words are more,
and it's a bomb from 1981.
And your names are Warrington Gillette,
which just sounds like people were near appliances
when they named the child.
Stu Charno.
Kirsten Baker.
Adrienne King.
And John Fury.
John Fury.
Fury, yes.
Fury or Fury?
Fury.
I don't think the last two names would really help you either.
So I think you just have to take a stab on this.
No pun intended.
It is a slasher film.
Maybe you remember one that has full frontal nudity.
That's kind of a special moment when that happens.
Don't fucking stand up and stare at me, Billy.
Why are you out of your chair?
What kind of intimidation practice is this?
I have to pee so bad,
I'm just trying to fucking stand up straight.
I'm going to go with Chucky.
I mean, it counts if it's a doll, right?
Yeah, I mean,
I don't believe any of the movies in the series
was just called Chucky,
but it's still a fun guess.
Okay.
You came to play.
You're not fucking around.
But the last two names were Amy Steele and Betsy Palmer.
Oh.
And the movie is called...
The reason he said more twice
is because it's Friday the 13th, part two.
Oh, my God.
And the review is,
more nubile campers More bloody executions
If you loved part 1
Dot dot dot
It's like the new
You might be a redneck routine
He insults not only the movie
But anybody who liked the first one
If you're a complete asshole
You might like Friday the 13th, part two.
It's got full nudity.
Head to toe.
Wow.
Probably has a pretty old-fashioned bush in there.
81, they still had him.
81 bush, man.
All right, so that means Billy got a point.
You're on the board, buddy.
I did it.
Quite impressive.
That means we're going to start with Brian this next round
and then go to Billy and then to Greg.
And Brian, would you like to pick between these categories?
Rock and Roll Geo Suggested Slay Anything
And that's movies where
John Cusack kills someone
At Uncle
Underscore Dirt
Good old Uncle Dirt
He suggested
Or she
Captain Full Lips Captain he suggested, or she,
Captain Full Lips.
Captain Full Lips.
And that's movies where Angelina Jolie is on a boat.
And... At Plainly Zanely
Suggested
The Comedians of Comedy Bang Bang
And that's movies where
Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn
Or Zach Galifianakis dies
Yeah, I think I was able to find two movies
Where one of those gentlemen dies
What do you think, Brian? I think I was able to find two movies where one of those gentlemen dies.
What do you think, Brian?
Do the Angelina Jolie's got one.
Okay.
Angelina is on a boat, you guys.
Wait, when they suggest these things, do you find the movies,
or do they also provide a list of?
Sometimes people also include the names of movies, but part of the fun for me is I'll just see a category
and think if I can think of a movie
that fits it and then I'll just
find it and load it into my
Leonard Maltin app.
What a life. It's a full time job.
Yeah it's amazing.
Just to be in
your shoes for one day.
And you know
let me just say this. Let me just get this out there.
When people send me, sometimes they'll send me, like, six or seven suggestions in a row,
but it's their, you know, it's from their Twitter account, and they'll put each one in a different thing.
And when I see, and a lot of times it's somebody who signed on to Twitter just to give me suggestions,
so they often are just the egg, you know, and some weird made-up name or whatever.
And then, you know, and then you click on their profile, and they're not, you know, you've got no name or whatever and then you know and then you click on their profile and they're not you've got no profile or whatever
and all I want to say to those people
is if you send me
six or seven or eight of them all in a row I just
glaze over and can't
concentrate on any of them
because I'm just like then it feels like work like this
guy sent me you know like he's writing
for me and I have to pick one
and he sent so many I feel guilty
if I don't like one and I start reading
them and they're all shit but then I start
to think oh maybe they're shit because I'm just reading
them all and I have a bad attitude about it
the fourth one could have been gold
it could have been but it was sitting there
just mired in shit
and too many
of them so like just send me one
at a time just on occasion
and that's the best way to sneak
them through. Wow. Yeah.
Laying it right out there for them.
Won't be good enough.
Now they're
going to fuck with you. Every show I do.
Should we bring a name tag? Yes.
It's yes 98% of the time.
Bring a name tag.
Brian Redband.
Yes.
First of all, thank you for still being here after that.
Billy, do you want to run and go pee and then come back?
I don't think we've ever taken a pee break for a guest.
But let's play one more point
and see what happens
well you know what though
the green room
and bathroom
has a speaker
where you can hear the show
he has a wireless microphone
so both can work
alright
just don't
just don't drop it
in the toilet
there he goes
test
test
beautiful
test alright see if it works once the door's shut Billy There he goes. Test, test, test.
All right, see if it works once the door's shut, Billy.
Wait, wait, see if we can hear him pee. Billy?
He's definitely in there.
Name it.
Say something, Billy.
Billy?
No, it cuts it off.
Yeah.
He's got to stay in the same room.
He should have just shit on the floor over there.
Do you think he's dropping a deuce?
can you imagine?
it's just funnier than he should be in the corner for some reason
I gave it a comedy upgrade
you didn't do the noises that was good restraint I gave it a comedy upgrade. Right. Right.
You didn't do the noises.
That was good restraint.
Have you been to the Double Deuce upstairs?
The bar?
I know.
It cracks me up every time I see that name.
Yeah.
I love to say the Double Deuce because nobody gives two shits about that place.
They're applauding that joke
because they've heard it already.
They're applauding it because I say it every time.
You do?
Yeah.
It's, well...
Oh.
I wish San Diego would just hold me in captivity.
Just laugh at all my comedy.
All right, Brian.
The year is 2010.
Two stars from Leonard for this movie
where Angelina Jolie ends up on a boat.
Leonard Maltin says this movie's based on a French movie,
so they stole something from the French
and put it on a boat with Angelina Jolie,
and he says,
as a travelogue, this movie is Bella.
As a movie, not so hot.
So he gets really snooty there at the end.
And I'll give you one more clue.
It has one of the funnier director names you're ever going to hear.
But he's a good director.
I've said too much.
Eight names.
How many names can you get it in, Brian?
Red band?
Two.
Wow.
I'm guessing you've forgotten how the game is played.
Yes.
I like two.
So now we go to Billy.
What year was it?
I was peeing.
2010, and we waited till you got back.
You were still peeing in your mind.
Oh, that was a good one.
I wish it was still going on.
Why didn't you just fill that detergent bottle?
I can't believe...
I can't believe a professional had to leave the stage.
I thought that might void your contract.
Exposed dick.
Honey, our clothes came out extra soft.
Yeah, I added some piss.
Downy, now with piss.
Downy by R. Kelly.
So,
he picked two names.
I'm just gonna say name it.
But I have no chance either way.
If I say one name, Greg knows what to do.
Name it.
All right, Brian.
Well, hang on.
You get to hear the two names.
Okay.
I don't think they are.
I don't think it matters, really.
Okay, well, I like to play it formally.
What year is this?
2014?
You don't just start yelling out answers at Alex Trebek of things you think might be
asked.
Raul Bova
is in this movie.
The great Raul Bova.
And Christian De Sica.
Now what do you think it is?
Beowulf?
Is that a thing?
Why?
Is there really a scene where she's on a boat?
She's in water,
so I thought maybe there was a part where she stepped on a boat? She's in water, so I thought maybe there was a part
where she stepped on a canoe or something.
I don't know.
So why did you bid two names?
What was the strategy?
You're just like, it's Beowulf,
so I might as well sew up the bidding part of this.
Because it doesn't matter.
I was playing chicken.
I should have picked three.
I think the results would have been the same
if you picked maybe all of the names.
Let's just play a game with just Brian Redband.
But Billy is officially the winner.
I couldn't have done that without relieving the pressure from my bladder.
Yeah.
No, you knew you needed it, and it was worth it.
Also, they've released some serpents into the club.
There's a loud hissing from the bar.
It sounds like somebody's having a water wiggle party.
Well, the best is I'm doing stand-up here at night
and during a lull, which there's some.
Sure.
You think someone's hissing at you from the back of the room.
Yeah. some. Sure. You think someone's hissing at you from the back of the room. Pssst. Pssst.
Pssst. Pssst. Pssst.
No, and it turns out
it's just people playing a carnival game.
Where they're trying to get the water
into the clown's mouth.
I scream, take it all, take it all when I play that game.
There's like
children next to me.
Oh, you like it.
Oh yeah, I'll mess up your makeup.
I'll give you something to frowny clown about.
Rufus Sewell.
No, this is just Brian.
As soon as you know it, yell it out. Rufus Sewell No this is just Brian As soon as you know it
Yell it out
Rufus Sewell
Steven Berkoff
Timothy Dalton
Paul Bellamy
Angelina Jolie
And Johnny Depp
From 2011
And it's called
Don't tell
Don't help him I actually didn't know Come on you can do it Oh it's called Don't tell No idea Don't help him
I actually don't know
Come on
You can do it
Oh it's 2010
You're right
Audience member corrected me
No need to get
The corrections department involved
I really don't
I really don't know
Like I was thinking earlier
Angelina Jolie I guess
But Johnny Depp
And Angelina Jolie
Doesn't ring any bells to you?
That's how awful
That movie was
Yeah I don't
First of all The dude that directed it,
he did an amazing movie in his own language
called Something of Others?
Lives of Others.
Lives of Others.
Got a lot of acclaim, won awards and stuff.
Then they saddled him with Angelina and Johnny
for The Tourist.
Oh, God.
Yeah, terrible, terrible movie.
And his name is
Florian Henkel von Donnerschmack.
Schmack, Schmack, Donnerschmack.
Yeah, so he's got an awesome name and hopefully
he wasn't ruined by that experience.
Where's the person that Billy
was playing for? Come get your prizes.
You cleaned up.
Is there any attempt to get to the stage at all?
Okay, here we go. There he is.
All the way in the back there.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
I'm keeping the Downey bottle
though, just for memories
hey bud if you can put
the stuff in another bag I need that SD bag back
just check your girlfriend's
do you really need a bag
do you really need a bag
I would love that if you made him take
all that crap
just carry it down the street without a bag
my girlfriend's in here somewhere going we kinda need the bag I didn't take all that crap. I thought he was being serious. Just carry it down the street without a bag.
My girlfriend's in here somewhere going,
we kind of need the bag.
I'll get us another one.
What was his name again?
Jeremy.
Jeremy, congratulations.
Robert. Robert.
All I had to do was check.
You were so confident.
And so close Overconfidence
Thanks Junior
I bought it yeah
I didn't even guess Downey or Junior
I said Jeremy
I really miss my older brother
His name is Jeremy
You can't spell Jeremy
Without Robert Downey Jr
Need all those letters.
That actually might work.
You got anything to plug, Billy?
Any tour dates coming up?
People can come see you do your stand-up.
Actually, I do a show here the second Wednesday of every month.
The next one's on February 12th.
Look me up on Twitter, Billy Bonnell.
That's all I have.
I think I said Bonnell on a few occasions.
No, but you can say whatever you want.
I'm just glad to be here.
All right.
Billy Dookie Face. I don't care.
Just don't look that up on Twitter.
So,
Brian Reedbarn, what do you
what do you
got coming up, buddy?
Going to be in a lot.
Actually, about to announce Portland, Oregon, and Seattle.
We're bringing Death Squad up there.
It's probably going to be me, Tony, and Tiffany Haddish, I think.
We're going on the road all the time.
Yeah, those Death Squad shows are fun.
I've got to perform on a couple of them.
You always get a great turnout and a nice mix of comedians.
Super, super fun.
Those cities, you're going to love
all three of those cities, buddy.
You should take Billy Poopyface with you.
Thinking about taking Billy Poopyface over
here.
Listen to
all the many Death Squad podcasts,
including Kill Tony, which I've been on a few
times.
A lot of interesting things happening with Kill Tony this week.
Yeah, there was some issues
with the Comic Patriot.
And it kind of came to a head
after they were on Getting Doug with High.
So we'll have to stay tuned for the next
emotional chapter
of this saga. Yeah.
Definitely. Yeah.
It's interesting. Crazy. Yeah.
Greg, what about you, buddy? First of all, the
shoes, you gotta love how pink they are.
Pink?
No, that's the lighting.
They look pink under the light here.
Yeah, the lighting makes them look pink.
That's a ballsy shoe choice.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Especially with purple pants.
Yeah.
This is literally an accident.
The pants, I thought they were different pants.
You ever have pants in your dresser that you would never wear,
but somehow you didn't throw out?
And I accidentally grabbed them, and they're purple.
I got them as a gift.
And I'm just not the kind of guy that wears purple pants.
And then with pink shoes, I feel like Carrot Top.
But funny.
Oh! Some lady in the audience just said, but funny. I feel like Carrot Top. Oh.
Some lady in the audience just said, but funny.
That was a guy.
That was a guy.
I like to have fun with what the listeners can't hear.
Sometimes they can.
Sometimes the comments from the audience can't get in there and into these
mics and people listening here but a lot of times it's just quiet and then us responding and then
the audience laughing there's got to be a lot of little mysteries when you listen to this show
like what the fuck just happened that did they turn around and look at the eagle again
because that always gets such a good reaction. Yeah, this is the only
comedy club that's saving
bald eagles.
What they're doing is they
don't bother them.
Right. Like this club does not
go out and hunt bald eagles.
Actively do not go out.
Yeah, they stay right here in this basement.
Joined by fellow non-eagle hunters.
Can you guys tell that the game ended too fast?
I'm just trying to give everybody, you know,
the show they paid for.
420 show always starts 10 minutes late.
So I like to give
everybody the full 90
and go to 6pm
here on the coast.
Build a title.
Alright.
This you guys is a game that I used to play on the show a lot,
and I just got tired of people not understanding.
Well, then this is the perfect panel to break it out with.
You're fucked, Benson!
I've got to get serious about this.
I've got to get the paper right in front of me.
Gotta bring this microphone down.
Really lean into it.
Alright.
Raise your hand if you think you know how Build-A-Title is played.
We got some people in the audience that have it down.
Alright, I have to explain it.
So, what we do is we take movie titles and we add to them based on sounds and words being the same in different titles.
For instance, if we start off with The Godfather, you drop the the, because we don't mess around with thes, because those would be stoppers.
You drop the the, and before Godfather, you add, like, Oh God, the great George Burns vehicle.
So now you have Oh Godfather.
And then the other person could add Father the Bride, of course.
You guys don't need to help me.
I'm going slow so that they understand it.
And then you go like
Bride of Frankenstein?
So, oh godfather
of the bride of Frankenstein.
Like that.
You could keep adding to it.
Right?
Did that work?
So you can add to the front
or the back.
Yes.
Okay.
But the thing that throws people off
is you can't change the words
around in a title,
but you can use sound alike can't change the words around in a title but you can use sound
alike so like if
the first title was street fighter
you could if you can't think of something
that begins with the word fighter or something
then you can take the
ter at the end of it so you can go
street fight terminator 2
judgment day
like that
2.7 million.
Did I win?
I think I won.
Can you add into the center
or only on the beginning and the end?
Only on the ends, dude.
I'm just trying to make it more complicated.
We're building a title.
Greg goes first
Somebody else
Alright so let me pick a title
From today that would be one
That would work
Because you don't want a title that
Is hard to add to
Beowulf
Beowulf of Wall Street
The only way you could add To Beowulf is if somebody made The Scott Beowulf of Wall Street? Yeah, the only way you could add to Beowulf
is if somebody made the Scott Beowulf story
and didn't put the word story at the end.
The movie was just called Scott Beowulf.
Scott Beowulf.
Of Wall Street.
Fighter.
Street.
Fighter.
Minator 2, Judgment Day.
All right, we're out of time.
I'll be in Chicago at the
when
yeah do your plugs
I was kidding
but I might as well
Chicago
February 7th and 8th
at Up Comedy Club
and then
I just interviewed Doug
for my podcast
Fitz Dog Radio
that will be up next week
or whenever
so check out
Fitz Dog Radio and
thank you. Thank you all.
I like that.
I'm going to be at the Comedy Zone in Jacksonville, Florida
doing stand-up on February 12th.
Oof.
I wrote hump it on down
to the Comedy Zone hump day.
I don't know why I'm calling them,
oh, on hump day.
That's a fun nickname for a person, though.
What's up, hump day?
Doing the humpty hump?
Thought I saw you.
You looked like you had a lot of things to do
in that Burger King restroom.
So you got busy?
What's a good Steve Martin movie
to start off Build-A-Title?
I can't...
They all have dead ends on them.
Father of the Bride, that's a good one.
All right, so Father of the Bride we'll start with.
So you have to...
Movie that ends in father or begins with bride, so Father of the Bride we'll start with. So you have to move it.
It ends in Father or begins with Bride.
Godfather of the Bride.
You really took to this game.
All right, and I'll play too, but let's go to Brian.
Let's give him a chance.
So now I have to do it with someone's Bride.
Something that ends with God, which was already an example tonight,
or begins with Bride. was already an example tonight. Or begins with bride.
Bride of Chucky.
Okay.
That's going to be rough.
Doesn't he have to say Godfather?
He can say the whole thing, but it's also a time saver if he does it.
Godfather the Bride of Chucky.
That sounds like an actual sequel.
For the Chucky films.
Well, the first one was just called Chucky.
That was the best one, I thought.
Because of the full frontal nudity.
It's called child's play.
Hey, was it child's play whatever Bride of Chucky
or was it just Bride of Chucky?
Just Bride of Chucky. Okay, good, good, good.
That's actually a good question.
All right, Bill, what do you got?
Billy, Billy.
City of Godfather of the Bride of Chucky
Yes
Don't whisper
Don't whisper things to me
Also thank you Don't whisper things to me.
Also thank you.
City of God,
father of the bride of Chuck Key Largo. Wow.
City of God,
father of the bride of God, Father of the Bride of Chuck,
Chuckie Largo Daddy.
I think I get the game.
You took the I'll just wait till I get there approach.
Like I'll say the whole thing
and maybe something will
come to me.
Dick sort of ended up
in a cul-de-sac.
And I banged a U-turn
and got the fuck out of there.
Sometimes people will make up a movie title.
I'm not going to say who exactly
would, Graham Elwood, like that.
But... Go Daddy
is a movie. What happens in Go Daddy?
Isn't it like one of those...
Is it? Is it like a Sandler
or a Kevin James type of film?
Yeah.
Daddy, Daycare, Big Daddy.
Right. Go Daddy, daycare, big daddy. Right, go daddy, daycare.
All right, Brian, it's your turn.
You got anything?
What was the movie, Daddy?
Wait, what movie was it again?
Daddy?
Oh, Daddy?
Something that ends with city or begins with Largo or Go
or Argo.
Argo, fuck yourself.
Oklahoma?
I have to accept that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Margo, Oklahoma, or the wind.
Doesn't he have to say the whole thing?
That's why I got fucked up. I could if you want me to.
That doesn't fuck you up.
It's just for fun, saying the whole thing.
It's not fun.
When you lose twice, it's not fun.
Okay, Billy.
Oh, you're out already.
No, you're in. City of God. Nice.
Broken City of God.
Yeah.
Father.
No, I can't go.
Oklahoma. What are you doing?
Like, the listener's thinking you had your dick out or something.
Or you just took a shit in the corner.
Because the mics don't reach into the...
Okay.
Broken city of God, father of the bride of Chucky Largoclaho...
Ma...
Mamas.
Oh, mamas.
I can't think of anything that begins with mamas.
Mama's house?
No, that's Big Mama's house.
Mama.
Mama Mia! Mama Mia!
Oklahoma Mama Mia.
We got a whole musical thing going on there.
That'd be a fun mashup that no one would want to see.
Let's take the two shows we hate.
Billy?
Is it my turn?
Yeah, yeah, And I'm out.
I took too long on Mamma Mia, but that was fun, though.
I think so, yeah.
Much to do about nothing.
Okay, so you're out.
Ma, not ma.
Ma.
Ma.
I thought you could do that. Much. Ma. Ma. I thought you could do that.
The ma. Much.
Not much.
Much.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
Like.
The two guys that are on stage stoned
are having so much more fun
than the other two.
It's good that you're not seated next to each other.
We would just...
Interesting choices.
I think of Brian as just like some porn fiend
who reads comic books.
And his movies are like
Beowulf, Much Ado About Nothing, Oklahoma. Where the fuck
did you come from?
Ohio.
Oh, that gave me an idea for a new game
on the show. How did he get made?
We bring on Brian's parents. Old Milwaukee.
Yeah, right?
Let's see.
Do you guys have shitheads on the backs of your thingies?
So, well, who was the winner of that last thing we just did?
Nobody, right?
Billy won.
Billy wins.
Billy wins.
Okay, Billy wins.
That was a good one.
I wish I could think of a mama.
I couldn't think of a homa.
Mama. Oklahoma. Just mama. think of a mama. I couldn't think of a homa. Mama.
Oklahoma.
Just mama.
Just mama.
That would have been smart.
Where's the shithead under the post-it?
Just pull that off of there.
You want to see?
Oh, it's a double post-it.
Good job, Wendy.
By the way, I had previously signed this book for Wendy.
Something fell out.
Oh.
Oh, my.
This is an involved one.
It's her driver's license and social security card.
Look at that.
Is that meant for me?
Still my ID.
She gets off on being scammed.
She likes to get celebrities to scam her.
She's got to pick people at a certain point in their career
where they might consider it.
She has a lot of debt
so she wants me to take her identity
and pay it off.
What the fuck?
Were you just carrying it around
and forgot?
Oh, that's her ID
that she used to get in here.
Oh, got it. Okay.
Good job, door staff.
They're pretty strict here.
Photocopy of the ID.
It's like when...
I love when your photo ID
Your license when it expires
And you try to use it and they won't take it
It's like I'm still
It's me still
I'm older
The dates are all still accurate
It's so weird
Passport that's right
Alright well thank you guys
So we went a little long
Thank you American Comedy Company
Thank you Sandy Agans well thank you guys so we went a little long thank you American Comedy Company thank you
Sandy Agans
thank you to Billy Bonnell
Brian Redman
and Greg Fitzsimmons
and as always
Justin Bieber is a shithead
and
guys who think they can date friends
Without them finding out
Are a shithead
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies