Doug Loves Movies - Greg Proops, Amy Miller and Chad Opitz guest
Episode Date: July 29, 2019Live from the Punchline in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Greg Proops, Amy Miller and Chad Opitz to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free... month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
But Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
We've got some improvisers in the house.
Coming to you once again from the almost closed but then saved punchline in San Francisco.
Oh boy, oh boy.
I love this club.
And as many of you know know it was so close to
closing but now it isn't and I say we all raise our glasses and drink to 40
more years. Yeah and then I'll see you outside after and we'll smoke to 40 years of that.
What day is it? It's Saturday.
July 27th, 2019.
And I can already feel a very strong name tag
presence in this room.
There isn't room in this room for
some of these name tags.
Why do you make the biggest ones
and then also get here early and sit up front?
Those are huge.
When you showed them to me on the internet today,
I thought they were just like
these little weenie ones over here.
But holy shit, those are really nice.
Alice in Wonderland and the Brian Giant.
Byron Giant. Oh, Oh pardon me Byron and your giant name
tag. Could you both of you stand up and show the whole audience those name tags
because those are amazing pieces of work. Yes spin around, bend over.
Well, great job there, Allison and Byron and everybody else.
I'm already exhausted from... What is that that's taped onto your wet, hot American Peter?
What's that?
Animal crackers.
Why?
Just changing it up a bit?
Sick of hearing about donuts on the show?
Well, that's cool.
Thank you to everybody who made name tags,
and good luck in being chosen.
Doug plugs.
This Thursday, Friday, and Saturday,
August 1st, 2nd, and 3rd,
I'm doing shows at the
Traverse City Film Festival.
Go to tcff.org
for info. I'm doing
stand-up and Doug Loves Movies
at the Secret Group in Houston on August
7th and 8th. And Doug Loves
Movies comes for the first time
ever to the Improv in
Miami on Saturday,
August 10th at 420.
All my dates and dates and links are at
DougLovesMovies.com
That's DougLovesMovies.com
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Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!! I'm going to the pop to the- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a So raise your hand if you have no idea what just happened.
There's people, when they haven't heard the podcast before,
like, what?
Now we're going to put out a little special drink
I'd like everyone to drink.
I'd like you to put on your Serenity hats
and your heaven shoes.
Because this is a cult, you guys.
Let's see what I brought for the prize bag.
There's always a bag of prizes.
It could be won by one of the persons
who brought in a name tag.
And it's amazing stuff, you guys.
It's really impressive.
Like, I was just in San Diego.
I know because I have a magazine
that says San Diego on it.
And so you can read all about
America's finest city.
I mean, that's what they call it.
I don't know what San Francisco's called.
Is there an official name like that?
Cold as fuck, Bill. My friends at IFC Films sent, like I said, in a few episodes back,
they sent a shit ton of copies of movies on DVD and Blu-ray. So we've got ones called Pick of the Litter
and Tiny Furniture.
I've only seen one of them,
the one that has girls in it.
Lena Dunham.
It's all in a lovely Blockbuster bag
from the very last Blockbuster in the world.
I went there a couple days ago in Bend, Oregon.
And, yeah.
And, um,
hold the rest of your questions until the end of the show.
I've also got, uh,
Douglas Movie stickers, and one more
special prize that I won. Oh, two more
things. A, uh, poster from
the Cannabis and Cheese Tour
that I did with Dale
Cheeseman a while back where I made too many of them so given those away and all
the prize bags and also we'll be selling them after the show along with rockin
pins dot-com makes pins of rock stars and comedians and they made one of my
face I'm trying to find it in this bag but it's tiny so I don't know where it is but there's one in here and and
then we'll also have some out the table on the way out pins and posters they're
$10 each two for twenty and I know it's too hot in this room for math jokes I
feel it but anyway that's's what the pin looks like
and the one's going in the prize bag.
Plus, all the stuff brought by my guests today,
three of the funniest people I know
that are in San Francisco today.
Please give it up for my friends Chad Opitz,
Amy Miller, and Greg Brooks.
Hi, guys.
What's up?
Hi.
Hi, Doug. Hi. Hi. Hi, Doug.
Hi.
What a lineup.
Holy cow.
Right?
How did this...
I can't believe this came together like this.
This is so beautiful.
Let's meet them individually,
starting with the lady directly to my right.
It's Amy Miller, everybody.
Hi.
What's up?
What's going on, Amy?
You came up to your homeland,
your hometown.
My home club,
which is not closing.
I'm so excited.
Best club in the world.
Yeah, I put this together
because I wanted to get in one last show
before it closed and be all sad
and shit
and instead I still get to do a show
and then have a nice time
that's why I came up
I was going to be sobbing the whole time
it might still happen
we'll see how it goes
might as well
I think it's a more interesting listen when my guests cry.
Oh, okay.
Don't they all say that?
Doesn't Dr. Phil say that?
Or Oprah used to.
That's for damn sure.
But Amy, this is like a hot potato.
I'm so excited to share this with you.
I can't wait.
Our friends at Glass Action, they make nightlights.
If you send a picture of your pet or a loved one, whatever you want,
maybe even just an inanimate object, whatever you want,
if you send them a picture of it, they will turn it miraculously into a working nightlight.
Is this a gift for me?
And I had them make two of you,
and you get to keep one of them,
and the other one's going in the prize bag today.
Oh, my gosh!
So there you go.
There's one of them.
Thank you, Doug.
And then I just start sobbing.
Yeah.
It's so cute!
This is where you lose it.
Hooray.
Hooray.
But look, there's two of them.
Oh, my gosh!
And they're slightly different,
so pick the one you want to keep.
One of them has green eyes,
and one has hollow eyes,
so I'm going to go with the green.
You guys can have the scary one.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, let's give away the scary one.
That is so lovely.
Who do you want to put in this box for safekeeping?
I'm just going to throw yours into the bag.
I mean, the prize winners.
You've never given me a gift before,
besides your friendship and work.
You know.
Oh, and I need to get a picture of you with it,
you know, for my social meds and stuff.
But like I said, just look for Glass Action
to, you know, get your own.
I think they're only like $7,000 a piece.
I may do one on my cat. I think it's a great idea meeps your cat's name is meeps oh yeah
she named herself well you know what you just secured yourself a booking on doug loves cats
but for now for now i'd like to introduce my other guests starting with the gentleman in the middle
of he's becoming a regular on the show.
It's Chad Opitz, everybody.
Hello.
This is an Amy Miller referral. I like my
referral bonus.
Well, I was just going to say, Chad
is in my top three Chads, I think.
I won't rank them in order, but there's Chad Daniels, and then there's also that country.
Oh, man.
So those are my three Chads, if I had to name them.
Four would probably be that.
The most impoverished country.
Chad.
What are you up to these days, Chad?
This.
This is it.
This is it.
This is your whole deal.
Yeah.
No, don't you have to race out of here for a gig tonight?
I do.
I got to head to San Jose Improv, if I'm allowed to say that, at the Punchline.
I think you are.
Who's here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think...
I got to head out as soon as this is over, so let's hurry this shit up.
I don't think this club could be too upset that there's a show going on tonight in San Jose.
That's true, yeah.
It's not a tremendous amount of crossover there.
They are your rivalries.
People will travel for one way or the other,
but they don't like to as a general rule.
Everybody's like, just come to us.
Yeah.
Please.
Do I get a nightlight, Doug?
You know what?
I could pull some strings,
and you're going to have to go a few years in the dark.
Okay.
But I think I could get it to happen.
Just like a light
with a bushel of hair on it.
That's what it is.
Do you want one of me
or just a different thing?
No, my own mug.
I would love yours too.
That'd be nice.
That would be weird.
Collect them all.
That'd be sweet.
And finally,
on the end,
it's the great
Greg Proops.
Hello everybody.
Hello Doug's Love News people.
Word to your mother.
And this was gonna be
your big send off weekend to the punchline.
Now the club's saved, and it'll
never move to North Beach and have an Italian
restaurant like I was hoping.
We're down to the waterfront with a
seafood place, air conditioning, and a bathroom, and the
dressing room. No, I guess we're going to stay here
in this cramped-ass fucking place in the middle of the
financial district for the next 20
years of my fucking career so I can die on the
floor back there.
So I'm pretty excited about it staying open.
I'm making a live album this weekend,
that's why there's these Soviet era microphones up here.
The album was gonna be about how great the punchline was,
I was gonna tell a bunch of stories,
and then two days before the gig started,
no, we're staying open.
So there goes the album.
So now I'm just improvising freestyle for an hour.
And my God, the crowd is eating it up with a spoon.
Well, you do have stuff to talk about,
like your recent eye adventures.
Yes, and how enchanting that really was.
There's nothing like watching an older man talk about his health for an hour
to really whip a crowd into slobbering slaves for comedy.
No, I've had a lot of eye operations,
so everybody's in a real awesome 70s softcore haze to me.
Vaseline-style Joan Collins early 80s movie.
It's nice.
I never want to see
the crowd anyway,
so it's extra nice
being blind
and being a comedian.
I can't hear and I can't...
It's having a permanent
Instagram filter put in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm on vivid warm.
All right, well,
let's talk prize bag real quick here.
Did you guys, Amy, what do you got?
Oh, yes.
Well, as you guys know, the punchline was almost ruined by the San Francisco tech scene.
And I brought a collection of startup t-shirts that you can wear this
one says ticket flies to work they're terrible people boss grabbed my ass many
times this one says do great things don't know what company it's for. There's some that say women and product. Yeah, right.
Which one says right wing troll supporter?
Oh, this is
I guess defunct.
It just says drift. Does anybody know
what that is? Do you guys work
for drift? They're probably
hiring. It was like Uber, but the drivers
like to slide around on the road a lot
they all came from tokyo stay in your lane and then merch from the most important startup of all
amy miller um it's a pillowcase that says i'm sleeping with amy miller
I'm sleeping with Amy Miller.
And they will be for sale after the show.
I'll be out front selling pillowcases and my album.
Oh, that's great.
They're all in a Facebook. We'll have a whole merch scene out there today.
It'll be great.
Stop by.
Photographs are free, right, Amy?
I guess, yeah.
Do we want to?
Let's talk about it after privately.
You don't let people take pictures of you for free?
We'll do a 60-40 split.
You want a little something?
I mean, I deserve it.
There you go.
No, photographs are free.
Actually, the CDs
are pay what you want.
That's true.
Oh, there you go.
Whatever you can afford.
Okay.
Pillowcase is 20 bucks,
non-negotiable.
I'll sign it, though.
Oh, okay.
I'll sign all the t-shirts in that bag
What do you got for us Chad?
Let's see here
Nothing as cool as a
If you get a pillowcase and a nightlight
From Amy Miller god damn
What a theme bedroom
Lordy Begord
I got the book of hugs
By Attaboy.
No, this is just some shit I wanted to get rid of.
It's not that dope.
And then I got a
ultimate
warrior pin
that says, out of control.
Probably because he's all
fucked up on steroids and such.
And then I got a
nose eraser,
which you can take with you to Miami if you want
and put a straw through and do some cocaine or something.
And a 1984 VHS classic tape of Tom Hanks' Bachelor Party.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Featuring the classic line,
gentlemen, start your boners.
It's true.
Yes. Yeah, this one's a start your boners. It's true. Yes.
Yeah, this one's a real mind expander.
It is.
There is a scene where a donkey does cocaine,
so that's in there.
Yeah.
So there you go.
You're going to have a wonderful night with this.
Thank you, Chad.
Oh, yeah.
Pass it down.
Yeah, all that's going in.
What do you got for us, Greg?
Having only a month to prepare
since you booked me on the show,
I forgot to bring anything.
So you don't get a book or a CD,
but I got an Air Canada, in my bag,
I pulled out this awesome Air Canada pen
that has, not only is it an effective writing instrument,
it's got one of those little nubs
so you can play with your phone on it.
And then awesomely,
it also has
a flashlight.
The multi-purpose use of this
I think outweighs the fact that I gave it
no thought whatsoever and pulled it out of my bag
just now.
I commend any lucky winner
to enjoy that.
That's beautiful.
If you run an open mic, you can light people.
To be honest, I didn't want to give it away,
but it was the only thing I had on me.
I didn't want to give you an orange magic marker,
so I gave you a pen that I actually love
because it has a flashlight on it.
And the crowd just drifted away.
I love it.
You know, there's always new updates
of the gift of the Magi.
I brought frankincense.
I brought an Air Canada pen with a flashlight in it.
Well, thank you for giving that up, Greg.
And I'd be happy to quietly pass it back to you if you really want to keep it.
We can surreptitiously do that before the show's over.
Here you go, Greg.
Here's your pen.
Thank you.
They're going to get so much stuff, Greg,
that they don't need that pen.
Do you think Google's going to make the air conditioning
better in here at some point,
or is it going to stay this hot forever?
Oh, my God.
But as a performer, I've learned the best way to deal with heat in a club is to bring it up
Because anybody was thinking it's not hot in here
And that way you get everybody on the same page
Everybody's miserable. Why let anybody not suffer?
God I'm glad they stayed open
Part of that legacy grant should be a big old block of ice.
And they could have a guy stand behind it and go,
ooh.
Part of the fun is that outside,
the temperature is the coldest in the U.S.
Not today.
It's a pretty nice day out there today, I gotta say.
Sorry, you guys.
We'll all get through it.
I still got...
I'm gonna keep my hoodie on
to make me hotter than I should be.
I've never played without a coat and tie
in about 100 years.
Yeah.
Oh, you think that's how you're gonna do your shows tonight?
No, it'll be cooler by then
because when the sun goes down,
the temperature drops 87 degrees. And the fog will roll in and there'll be cooler by then because when the sun goes down the temperature drops 87 degrees
and the fog will roll in
and there'll be rolling gusts of wind
and it'll be nice.
It'll be like Ice Station Zebra.
You'll have to sleep with three dogs
just to stay warm.
San Francisco in the summer is rare.
It's nice.
It keeps people from the Midwest
from moving here.
Which is a goal.
I mean, they do anyway, but...
Then they tell you where they're from.
I'm from Indiana.
And you're like, yeah, you're here now.
Try to blend in.
Join a Wiccan collective or something.
There's nowhere to park.
Yeah, popular.
Go back to Indiana.
Park wherever you like.
Okay, so I have one question
before we get to the game portion of the show.
And we'll start with Amy.
And of course, you know what it is, right, Amy?
I sure do, Doug.
They have french fries here?
They do.
No, no, I'm all right.
I played here for a thousand years.
I didn't know they had french fries.
It keeps turning into more years.
Yeah, I've never had the fries here either
now that you mention it.
Did you know that?
Yeah, I didn't know they had them. I that you mention it. Did you know that? Yeah.
I didn't know they had them.
I didn't know it was an option.
So I will look into it.
Was that the question?
They got fries here?
Yeah, Amy, do they have fries here?
Yes, they do.
All right, Chad, same question.
What?
Wait.
I don't know, Doug.
I can't tell if those are fries.
That looks like a gummy worm to me.
Pick that up.
That's a limp-ass fry.
Come on, punchline.
We love it here. Crispy fries.
All right, so it's like this show is just a long Yelp review.
Yeah.
I saw Carl.
This guy over here just loves to chat it up like he's in a living room or something.
Hey, dude.
Hey, you guys right there,
could you guys stop talking to each other?
Yeah, don't look around.
It's you.
Yeah, you and the gentleman next to you.
You're not even sitting close enough to each other
to whisper to each other.
And you're speaking about everything
that happens and I can hear you and it's
extremely distracting.
Okay.
I love when you say stuff like that to me and I just look at you like
I did what?
Must be some other drunken asshole
you're talking to.
Alright, here we go.
Yeah, go ahead and discuss it for a little while
because that's what I was going for
is I really wanted it to continue
rather than to stop.
Because it's just quiet enough, Greg,
that of course security's not going to pounce on them.
No, but it's annoying enough
to know that they came from Hayward.
And those Hayward manners are coming to
the fore.
We didn't know we were disrupting
a live recording of a thing.
So the question, see, and they're all chatting about it.
Seriously, like, you don't
need to talk to each other. You know what I mean?
And certainly, if you're going to, sit close
enough that you can whisper.
You guys keep turning around and talking to
the people behind you. Would you do that to the
people sitting behind you in a movie theater?
Probably.
Alright,
so, I lasted as long as I could.
I mean, five minutes in, he's talking
to the other guy now. I'm literally going to have to throw you guys out of here. And I do not I mean, five minutes in, he's talking to the other guy now.
I'm literally gonna have to throw you guys out of here.
And I do not wanna do that.
Yeah, let's do it.
You seem to be having...
Now you're playing my song, man.
Greg is on board.
You seem to be having a nice time.
You're not trying to be dicks,
but just stop talking to each other.
Can you do that for me?
Can you speak to me when I speak to you directly?
What's happening?
What's your name?
You, yeah, you.
No, don't look around, man.
What is your name?
He's got to go.
He's got to go.
He can't even fucking answer the question.
It's hard to know.
It's a smattering of different people.
No, I know it's him.
I'm watching him do it.
You just got to go, dude.
I'm sorry.
This is awesome.
I've never thrown anything.
I'm sorry?
Yeah.
Yeah, the two of you,
you and him are talking
to each other constantly.
Do you not know that?
You know it?
So do you know
you're not supposed to?
What's that?
My eyes were looking
in the wrong place?
Jesus Christ,
you're the stupidest
motherfucker I've ever seen.
Wait a minute.
I haven't been on this show in a year.
Yeah, wait.
The mood's really changed, man.
Used to be like a Grateful Dead show,
everybody's all happy and whatnot.
Now there's shoddy people from Hayward
getting called stupid
i love the changes you've made man this show's picked up steam
the whole punchline staff is just like man i already had another job lined up god damn it
he's gonna go back to school.
I mean, am I crazy?
What was happening?
No, they were talking.
Why was he talking when I didn't want him to
and then when I'm asking him to speak,
he refused to say anything?
They had to go.
Everybody saw it.
You did the right thing, Judge Kavanaugh.
By the stroke of my pen.
My Air Canada pen.
He said I wasn't looking at the right person, ma'am.
Is that true?
Is it possible I was just not making eye contact with him?
You're right, lady.
You guys better be careful.
Be sure to fill out a comment card at your table.
So you guys don't even know those people?
And they were turning around and talking to you constantly.
Because they're hella cute.
Now I know who to blame.
It's all your fault.
Those poor people were just so in love with you.
Those two guys and their mom or whatever was going.
I could not figure out what was going on over there.
Like, do these three people really listen to Doug Lowe's movies?
It didn't seem possible.
And it was bothering you guys, right?
Okay, a lot, they said.
Great, now you speak up.
Yeah, nobody knew who I was looking at,
so everyone was on their best behavior.
All right, I'm going to go outside and smoke some weed.
I think it's a good idea.
You want me to take over from here?
Because I've seen this show before.
You've had these dreams.
I don't want to run this cult.
I'm not strong enough.
Sure you are.
Shut the fuck up!
Yeah!
Yeah!
This is awesome.
This panel ain't taking no shit.
Is that how you do it?
This is the first time I'm not the biggest asshole on stage.
Because I don't even deal with hecklers.
I just nuke them from orbit.
No one talks at my fucking show.
Or they're dead.
I would rather the whole audience die
than anyone talk during my show
not today man
I'm like fucking Mary Poppins on this show
Amy
with any work to be done
there is an element of fun
alright that's gonna cost me money
cut that out Rye of fun. Alright, that's gonna cost me money.
Cut that out, Ry.
Just dub in the words, Greg sang a copyrighted song there.
I think you can cut a lot of this out,
probably, Ryan.
Yeah, there might be some things I ask
you to remove. Snip, snip.
Yeah.
When Doug called them the dumbest motherfuckers that ever lived.
And the Peabody Award for Excellence in Broadcasting.
Podcast Comedy Category.
How long does it take to get back to Hayward?
45 minutes.
Nah, not today.
They're not going to Hayward.
You saw them.
Oh, Hayward's a little too classy for them?
Yeah.
They're going to Antioch.
How dare you. They're not going to Black Hawk, man.
You saw what the dude looked like.
Dudes.
Dudes looked like.
They knew there was French fries here.
They smelt them while they were on the Vallejo Bridge.
Oh, are you vaping?
Where'd this come from?
Oh, the ladies
Hella cute
Are we vaping?
That was so nice
They gave you daddy's medicine
Yeah and I feel really good now
So let's go ahead and bring those three people back in
This is like the best episode of Punk'd ever I'd apologize to them
But they're not going to hear this
That's my only way of knowing who they were
There's no way they bought their tickets online
I told you I had family coming, Doug
I'm sorry
Sorry That's Elsa Brandy, Greg bought their tickets online. I told you I had family coming, Doug. I'm sorry.
Sorry.
That's Elsa Brandy, Greg.
And I'll kill you if you mention that one.
Okay.
Here we go.
Have you asked the question yet? No.
No, you stupid motherfucker.
Amy, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw Crawl, Doug.
Crawl?
Yeah.
Why is that funny?
I don't know.
Well, I'm really confused that it got such a positive reaction from...
It's really good.
Is that your family over there?
She's black, first of all.
So, yes.
Yes.
She's my new family.
But several people over there cheered for Crow.
Have you not seen it?
I have seen it.
I loved it.
I didn't get it.
I mean, I'm easily scared, but it was fun.
It's supposed to be scary?
Yeah, I was real scared.
It was good.
I love Sam Raimi.
I love that girl.
The star was great.
She reminds me of Emma Arnold a little bit.
We're talking about different movies now.
No, we're not.
I'm talking about Crawl. I'm talking about Crawl. 1983. No, we're not. I'm talking about Krull.
I'm talking about Krull.
1983.
No, you're saying Krull.
With the gators.
Yeah.
Yes.
There's another movie called Krull.
Oh, sorry. And it's old and terrible.
And I was so shocked that you just watched it, that people cheered about it, that we're
still talking about it.
I'm sorry.
That was my deep East Bay
white trash accent coming up.
I saw a curl.
But I also should have known that there's a movie
out right now called Crawl.
It's my fault as well.
Oh, I think you'll like it.
And I think I've heard that it's good,
but every time I hear that about a horror movie,
I go and I'm disappointed, like almost every time.
I don't know, it's fun.
It's just gators
fucking biting people up
and a flood
and it was great.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
You go alone on that one?
I was scared.
Oh, no.
No, I was with two comedians.
Okay.
Debra DiGiovanni
and Caitlin Gill.
Nobody knows.
Yeah, give them a shout out.
Yeah.
But I know you like to just
you'll go to a movie by yourself. You don't care.
I go to movies by myself all the time.
But I can't see scary movies
alone because I'm scared.
So they were there to hold me
and then it was fun.
It was more fun. Sam Raimi made some very
funny choices also. You know, he's a silly
Billy.
He is a silly Billy.
And gators are scary. They're scary in real life they're all messed up
now they people are dropping meds in the water supply and they're like I'm on
Xanax and meth I'm a Gator
It was great So good right
Okay see
Yeah alright
Now we're back to where
It should be
A small amount of people
Have seen and loved
Crawl
And I
And I can go back to
Disliking crawl
Sure
Chad
Please enunciate
yeah
I watched
Kroll
okay
no
I saw
The Art of Self Defense
watch that
family from
Modesto
could have used
against your
vitriolic words
Doug
to defend themselves
against your hate
Doug
I mean
I'm glad they didn't come running at me.
I brought the show to a screeching halt.
I'm sorry.
Well, did you like it?
Yeah, what did you think of that movie?
I did enjoy it very much.
You done loving it?
I did.
I did like it.
I did enjoy it.
I did enjoy it.
You're being addressed, Chad.
I'm sorry.
Respond.
I'm sorry.
Make a value judgment about the goddamn movie you saw.
I liked it.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Bring some adjectives to the buffet.
It was an enjoyable romp.
There you go.
Yes.
Jesse Eisenberg was his delightful, awkward self,
and I had a good time with it.
I thought you said he was good on this podcast, Doug.
I'm not.
He's just a little bit.
He only got me on here because he saw me do a somersault once,
and he enjoyed it.
Hey, you know you're always welcome to do it again.
That's true.
If you want to win back the crowd.
That's true.
We'll see what happens, baby.
We'll see what happens. Okay. We'll see what happens.
Okay.
It seemed like it was
going to happen right then.
Right then?
Is that when you wanted it?
Oh, my God, man.
It seemed like everyone
really wanted it to happen.
Do it.
Do you want...
Where does he go for this?
He does like a whole lap.
On the top of the bar?
Oh.
I got a very bad feeling about this.
Well done.
That's why he has me on here.
When you get some material,
your act's going to be awesome.
Because you got that whole flip thing
at the beginning and whatever.
Greg, it gets even better.
I've seen him do that
while dressed up as a bowl of soup.
That's true.
Clam chowder.
Apologies.
Yeah, you were there.
Chowder.
Apologies to everyone I hurt with that. It's a chowder town.owder apologies everyone i hurt with that
you got a real mean streak today
someone say fucking chowder it's okay don't look at chowder
chowder what was the last movie you saw greg well Well, as you know, Doug, I have my own film podcast,
and we show pictures of the Egyptian in Los Angeles,
Jennifer and I, who's my wife.
And we showed Willy Wonka last week,
so that was the last movie I watched.
And it's still bloody marvelous.
It got huge laughs, and there's a million memorable lines.
And then you remember that you use those lines all the time in your real life,
like he goes, oh, I'm sorry,
I'm a tribal deaf in this year.
And what was the other one?
All questions must be submitted in writing.
There's so many.
And Mike TV goes, television works like this.
And he goes, you should open your mouth
a little wider when you talk.
And then my favorite line in the whole picture,
there's no such thing as a snarlsberry.
We are the music snow spray we are the
music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams that part's awesome and we're
showing Babette's Feast at the Aero in Santa Monica on August 7th getting
arty it's no crawl none of us can quote that one yeah I meant his movie not I meant the best feast unless they say things
like I'd like more please yeah I would like to thank Babette it's in Danish so
oh so it's all pastries yes I'm gonna say it's a very long breakfast is what
the movie is.
All right, so running way behind, obviously.
Anybody else want to try us before we get going here?
We're taking all comers on this DLM.
I'm sweating.
Like a Republican
at an NAACP
conference.
Here's the part where I say,
let the games begin!
here's the part where I say,
let the games begin!
Ladies and gentlemen,
please pick your name tags.
And while you do that,
we'll do this.
We'll go to a brief commercial break.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
We did it.
It's warm in the room, but people still have the energy to yell out,
pick me, pick me.
So I don't envy you guys having to select just one,
but who are you playing for, Amy?
I'm playing for Ralph, right?
Yeah.
And this is Doug Benson in The Ralph,
which is like the jerk, but I picked it because it has pot.
Oh, it does attach to it?
Yeah, for me, not for you.
No, I get it.
I just wanted to see it.
It has a space coyote joint.
Is that good?
That does sound good.
Not really a weed guy.
It's not a normal day when you feel like you're a space coyote.
Thank you, darling.
Thank you.
You're the best.
Do you tip the wait staff here working in this heat? They're awesome. I'll drink later. They're all really nice. Thank you. No're the best. Do you tip the wait staff here working in this heat?
They're awesome.
I'll drink later.
They're all really nice.
Thank you.
No, just tip them.
Don't applaud.
Just give them money.
It doesn't take, you know, you're not going to sweat from doing that.
You got to save your energy for all these exciting games that we're about to play.
Starting with a little something called Purple Rain Man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A.K.A. Good Will Hunting Glorious
Bastards.
Do you want to know who they're playing for?
No.
There's not time, Amy.
I'm trying to streamline this thing
and now we only talk
about one name tag.
No, Chad, who are you playing for?
This is Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Hell yeah.
And I can't tell if that's Ray in the Indiana Jones role or Macklemore.
Doesn't that look like Macklemore?
That doesn't look like Macklemore.
I thought that was Macklemore.
So I was like, that makes no sense,
so I'm going to grab that,
because I like nonsense.
Good choice, then. then yeah you did it and Greg um Byron is it mm-hmm I'm playing for Byron I was attracted
by my gigantic head it's a giant poster that says the Byron giant and he's put a picture of me from what appears to be
early 2000s Who's Line
by the look of it.
Yeah, you could just throw that
on the floor or anywhere
so it doesn't block anybody's view.
I'll let it loom behind me.
Yeah, that's good.
That works.
Got another cocktail coming in.
Who's this one for?
Coming in hot.
For Chad.
Thank you.
There you go. there you go thank you
thank you darling all right now we're gonna play purple rain man aka goodwill
hunting glorious bastards yeah I'm gonna tell you guys the third build stars of a
movie mashup title of my creation Then the second build stars and the first build stars and then as soon as you guess as often as you like
The two titles that I've mashed together
Make sense
I'm glad it makes sense to the audience. You're not playing so be as confused as you want to be I
Was just making sure that
my guests on stage understood because this is this is uh you know i don't want to say it's hard
but it's tricky third build in my movie mashup title are abby cornish and john goodman
Debbie Cornish and John Goodman.
John Goodman, often probably third build.
So not the greatest clue in the world.
What was the mashup title?
Purple Rain and Good Will Hunting?
Yes.
It's just the name of the game.
Oh.
Oh, I thought that led us sort of where we're going with going with this well it did in the sense that you want two titles that go together as purple rain man does oh I see you know I mean okay second build Vanessa Hudgens
and Tom Hanks yeah is this two movies or one movie? It's two movies
I know I raced past the part where I say
Do you understand?
I never answered yes
Vanessa Hudgens
And top build
In the first movie in the title
Is Emily Browning
And in the second movie in the title is Emily Browning and in the second
movie of the title
is Sally Field.
Oh, god damn me. So one movie's got
Abby Cornish, Vanessa Hutchin, and Emily Browning.
The other one has John Goodman,
Tom Hanks, and Sally Field.
The other one has John Goodman, Tom
Hanks, and Sally Field.
You know all those movies.
The three of them.
There it is.
Chad opens.
Thank you, buddy.
Sucker Punch Line.
It was the first one.
Sucker Punch Line.
I didn't.
I got the Punch Line part.
I was like, what's the thing?
I should have just guessed.
Chad, you're a genius.
That was a tough one.
Yeah, that was a tough one.
But also, you know, scribbled it down as a tribute to The Punchline.
Boy, that movie's so accurate.
Punchline is like a documentary about comedy.
When they go to their lockers backstage,
how many times am I right, guys?
When we come in at night, we hang up our shit,
and we're like, how you going tonight?
Like, I got a new knob gag, it's gonna kill.
Yeah, there's always that one guy changing into his nun costume.
You're not buying your jokes in a back alley somewhere?
Uh-huh.
I've gotten some tags from Barry Sobel.
That's okay.
Right?
Yeah, that's a good one when Tom Hanks makes, or they both do, don't they?
Or one of them makes up a whole set
at a Tonight Show audition.
Yeah.
Just makes it up on the spot.
Yeah, that's how it works.
As you would, yeah.
Well, again, though,
complaining that a movie about comedy is inaccurate
is like saying that, you know,
Avengers is an inaccurate depiction of superheroes
or whatever.
Movies have no responsibility to be truthful.
Oh, I thought you were calling us superheroes.
Well, we have assembled
and you did magically throw
four people out of a room
without using your physical strength.
So by the virtue of the power you have,
they left.
So you kind of are a superhero.
You're Magneto Whale.
I mean, you did say
you were having trouble seeing it was it was three
people yeah but one dude was huge wasn't he he's a big man i feel like all three of them
met for the first time outside yeah near the chuck wagon So they had a lot of catching up to do.
Oh, I would laugh so hard if they were like
waiting outside after.
No, you wouldn't.
I would. It would be so weird.
We didn't like what you called us.
And we've been building a small weapon
for the last hour and a half.
We're from San Leandro, not Hayward.
So who's the dumb MF now?
Fooled you.
You dumb M-fucker.
That didn't clean it up enough.
One of them was a mother.
Self-throwing out right here.
This guy's just...
Yeah.
Wow.
He's had enough of himself.
I won't take the San Leandro hate.
Comedy defenestration.
I'm flinging myself from the top of the punchline.
Everybody be careful when you're walking around.
The vape pen's on the floor.
Yeah.
I'm not going to say who you got a really long text from,
but it makes me laugh.
What, you don't think I him as much of a wordsmith?
I don't know.
Now I gotta look at who it was.
Jonah Ray?
Yeah.
He's not allowed to write a long text?
It just makes me laugh.
He's watching a movie, and I finally thought,
and there were no robots there.
I know who likes movies.
I know who likes movies.
He's probably loving them as I type this.
That stupid motherfucker.
Who's he supposed to text?
Car Talk?
Aw.
R.I.P.
R.I.P. R.I.P.
Clack, maybe.
Maybe click.
I don't know.
Now it's time to play ABCD's
No Puts.
This is another one
you may not be
completely familiar with, Greg,
but it's pretty easy
when you get down to it.
We're going to start with Chad. I'm going to give him a letter. He's going to name a movie that
begins with that letter. If he names any movie that begins with that letter, he stays in
the game. And we proceed thusly. But if anyone writes down the movie that I wrote on this
piece of paper before the show, if we match, then you win this game automatically.
And we're going to spell,
because I was just there in Bend, Oregon,
at the last Blockbuster.
So we're spelling Blockbuster.
And in the answers, a theme will emerge.
But since Chad's such a smarty pants,
he has to go first.
We'll see what happens.
Spelling Blockbuster.
And we'll go to
Amy second and then Greg third.
Chad, name
any movie that begins with the letter B.
But try
to match me. Try to match me.
Because it's amazing when it happens on the first one.
I'm thinking it.
I'm trying to send it into your brain.
A movie that begins with the letter B.
Bubba Ho-Tep.
I had to look. That's how close.
No, it's not close at all.
I wrote down Black Panther.
Shit.
Pretty different from Bubba Ho-Tep. Pretty different from my hometown.
L is your letter there, Amy.
Any movie begins with L,
but the first movie we've got on the theme is Black Panther.
Love, actually.
I'm just trying to stay in.
Yeah, staying in is the key.
I went with Logan.
God damn it.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you think you're so smart.
You wait, you wait.
O is your letter.
Greg, any movie begins with O.
Well, I know we're working toward a theme here,
but I can't think of anything,
so I'm going to take you back
to when George Burns was in movies
and do O, God.
Yeah, or you could have done
O, God, Book Two, You Devil.
You Devil.
O, God, You Devil, Book Two.
It was crazy.
Too many words.
Oh, it was a franchise. Yeah. I did not write that down. No, God, you devil. Book two. It was crazy. Too many words. Oh, it was a franchise.
Yeah.
I did not write that down.
I didn't think so.
But no one would have guessed what I did write down.
Operation Red Sea.
Wow.
Yeah.
And if you guys remember to ask, I'll tell you why later, how that got on the list.
The sequel to Operation Dumbo Drop.
Yeah, because he dropped him in the Red Sea and then later had to replace it.
Yeah.
The next letter is C to Chad.
Catwoman.
Catwoman is not a bad guess.
I wrote Captain America Civil War.
K to you, Amy.
I'm going to say kids
because I don't know what is going on.
I want to know what's going on, but I don't.
Yeah, but kids does begin with a K.
I chose
Kung Fu Panda.
Two.
Two.
B is the next letter, Greg Batman
Oh, why didn't I?
That would have been really the perfect thing
I put Bohemian Rhapsody
Practically the same movie
Chad We're back to
or not back to
it's the first time
letter U
up in the air
oh
I went with up
just kidding
I went with
very close to up
just two letters
us
oh my god us Amy S Now I went with, very close to up, just two letters. Us.
Oh my God.
Us.
Amy?
What the hell?
S is the next letter.
What do all these movies have in common?
I really wish I knew, Doug.
I think that you wrote sense and sensibility, right?
Right? You know, that's not a crazy guess thank you yeah but it's not what I wrote down I wrote down
Star Wars episode 4 New Hope tea you have to take the T, Greg, in Blockbuster.
What T movie can you come up with?
When you talk about a Star Wars movie, there's a bunch of them.
Does that necessarily, can you say the title of the movie and then it's,
or Star Wars has to come first, I guess, right?
I think Star Wars comes first now.
Okay, all right, all right.
Then the never-ending story.
Oh, good.
I wrote Titanic.
Titanic?
Oh, I see, blockbusters.
It's taking me this long.
Oh, my God.
Okay, okay.
E is the next letter, Chad.
Okay, man, all right. Well, you cracked it, Greg, right? Blockbuster, blockbuster. E is the next letter Chad Okay man Alright
Well you cracked it Greg
Right
Blockbuster
Like sense and sensibility
Okay
It did quite well
At the box office
You're right
So if I'm going
Blockbusters
Letter E
Uh huh
It's gotta be
Ernest Scared Stupid
I was so closely writing that
but I foolishly went with
E.T. the Extraterrestrial.
And then R is
the final letter in Blockbuster.
Give us one more Blockbuster.
And that's true.
Operation Red Sea is
in the top 400 movies
all time at the box office
and I don't even know
what that is
you know what else
made a ton of money
Roadhouse
yeah
oh
I know what it is
I so wished
I had written that down
what is it guys
Raiders of the Lost Ark
no
really
no
no
this one ranked a little higher I mean more recent movies obviously are making Raiders of the Lost Ark? No. Really? No. No, this one ranked a little higher.
I mean, more recent movies obviously are making more because of this.
Oh, sure.
We're not necessarily adjusting for inflation here.
But, you know, because Gone with the Wind is still like number one or whatever, if you do that.
But, no, I went with Rogue One, a Star Wars story.
What's that?
It really opened my eyes.
Yeah, but see, I just asked, can you say,
oh, but Rogue One is called Rogue One.
But you know what? Roadhouse is better than Rogue One.
Thank you, Greg.
I mean, from now on, we can call it
Star Wars Rogue One, A Star Wars Story.
If you like.
I'm happy to change it.
I just have to make a few calls.
So cute.
All right, so.
Hella cute.
But those games are just for fun.
This last game is gonna determine a winner tonight,
and we're gonna play Last Man Stanton.
We're gonna play Last Man Stanton.
This is where I like to play along.
We're gonna get the name of an actor or actress from a predetermined audience member
who reached out to me on social media.
And then we're gonna take turns naming movies
that person was in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
Or if you say one they weren't in,
we'll discuss it with you.
We'll see what happens. And you can't think of one, you're out. Or if you say one they weren't in, we'll discuss it with you. We'll see what happens.
You have one lifeline.
You can go to the person whose name tag
you chose. You can go to them one
time for help. And if they
can't help you, you can
take out your phone and call a celebrity.
Really? But only if
your lifeline can't help you. And we all
have to agree that that's a celebrity.
Are you a celebrity? And then you have to you, and we all have to agree that that's a celebrity. Are you a celebrity?
And then you have to get them on, they have to
answer the phone, so I just won't answer if you call
me.
I'm gonna call Jonah Ray, he's available.
Yeah, right?
I think
you might have also helped some of the other
competitors that might have Jonah Ray's phone number.
But
it usually doesn't come down to that.
Where is
Maya and
Dante's dad?
Over here.
Where are you? Hey, dude.
What's your name?
Charles. Couldn't fit that into your
long Insta handle.
And
you don't listen with your child to the show, do you?
Dante, yeah.
Dante, you do?
How old is Dante?
15.
15? Oh, okay.
So he already knows,
dumb motherfucker.
Oh.
He sees him every day.
Hey, why did I go home?
Charles has done nothing to you.
Was I burning Charles with that?
We don't know that his kids see him every day.
We don't know how good a father he is.
He named his child Dante.
I mean, that's pretty fucked up right there.
It is a good name.
See?
All right, but don't listen to this episode with him.
Same for his birthday.
Especially if you guys live in Hayward.
That would be too much for poor Dante.
All right, so what's your suggestion, sir?
I'm going to go with Kevin Bacon.
Kevin Bacon.
Oh, my Lord.
There's a million Kevin Bacon titles.
That one's ridiculous.
Yeah, there's so many.
Did Dante put you up to that?
Because he is putting us in hell right now
because Kevin Bacon is...
Did you know that it's on the record
he's been in 2,000 movies?
God damn it.
He has been in a lot of movies, though.
All right, so I'm going to go get a second name
because I think it's a fun challenge
to add another name.
Where is Sean Logic?
Hey, dude.
I'll tell you what's up.
We got bacon.
Are you going to suggest John Hamm?
No.
All right.
No, wait, wait, wait.
I got more questions for you.
Are you a smart person?
You are?
Are you sure?
Because you look like...
That'd be weird if that's what the show turned into,
as I just call people dumb motherfucker.
I couldn't do it. He's so nice.
I was gearing up for it,. I couldn't do it. He's so nice. I was gearing up for it,
but I couldn't make it happen.
So what's your suggestion?
Robin Williams.
Robin Williams.
Graced this stage many times.
Yes!
It was his birthday last week.
That's probably why that picture fell off the wall
in the green room when we were hanging out back there.
Robin was just like,
I would like to be part of this.
I'd like to be at the
not farewell party.
I'd like to be at the
it's not really going away party.
Two shows tonight with Greg Proops.
I think the first one sold out.
Oh, right.
Seat's available for the second.
And I'm on the second one, bonus.
Oh, look at you.
Amy's going to be doing a magnificent two-minute set in the second show.
It's going to be all about Hayward and San Leandro.
Just a lot of deep cuts.
I'm going to call everyone a dumb motherfucker for two minutes.
Get out of there.
I mean, nobody really thought two minutes sounded that crazy.
I know, that was weird.
That's about as much as we could take.
That's probably all she can do.
That's all she's got.
Type two.
All right.
Okay, so this is going to take a second.
I hope nobody's in a hurry to get out of here,
and I hope Greg doesn't mind his show starting late tonight.
Because we are going to take turns naming.
We'll try to go quickly,
because this is a rich, rich tapestry to choose from.
Out of all the Robin Williams films and all of the Kevin Bacon films you can name anyone as long as it has been named
Before but you have to say the exact correct title
Yeah
Talking to you Craig
Start with me. No, I said I was talking to you. Oh. About the title. Oh, the exact right title.
Yeah, no.
I've noticed that meticulousness
is the hallmark of this show.
All about housekeeping on this show.
Tidy around the corners.
I want to be able to bounce
a quarter off this thing, man.
Fastidious, said the new york times punctilious said variety chad gets to go first
greg will go second then me then amy and we'll just keep going around
i think we got this chad i'm gonna go with uh one of robin williams most beloved films jack
okay i don't like your attitude
i'm feeling feisty me then uh yes sir good morning vietnam it's hard to say it without yelling
It's hard to say it without yelling.
I almost did it.
Good morning, Vietnam!
Get into it.
Adrian Kronauer.
Okay.
Well, we already said it, so I'll say it now.
Good wheel hunting!
I'm going to go with Footloose.
Footloose.
Which one did you do?
Footloose.
Footloose.
Isn't that Robin Williams?
Chad?
Moscow on the Hudson.
Why are you going deep early?
That's an interesting... We can do either.
Interesting poll.
Either star?
Just either one.
Dumb mother...
You can switch back and forth.
I'm going to ask you a question later,
because there's a Kevin Bacon movie
that I can't remember the name of,
but it's fucking great.
Tremors.
Yes!
Oh, that's so good.
So good.
Very good, very good.
National Lampoon's Animal House.
Aladdin. Animal House Aladdin Animal House
And then what did you say?
Aladdin
Almost the same
Mrs. Doubtfire
Yay
What dreams may come
Oh
Paging Paging what dreams may come oh paging
paging
patch Adams
patch Adams
we've got your nose
that was a solid patch Adams joke
I don't know why
I don't know why
I'm gonna go with
it is a sad movie.
Wild Things.
Oh.
Okay.
The show is dong in that.
I swear to you, I was going to say the word dong also.
I don't know why.
I don't know why either.
That exact word seems perfect for it.
It's not small.
And he's very small as a man.
And that's what happens.
Okay, okay.
Okay, this lady's fucked some short dudes.
Thank you.
We'll be back with more of Sex with Dwarves.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll be back with more of Sex with Dwarves. Yeah.
Well, Amy brought up a Kevin Bacon penis movie.
I'm bringing up a Robin Williams penis movie.
World's Greatest Dad.
He's hanging dong in that film.
Take that, Bacon.
Thank you, Jack, for that.
Survivors. film take that bacon thank you check for that survivors oh with Walter Matthau turn the foul yeah and called himself you guys Walter Matthau called himself
the Ukrainian Cary Grant okay God those three people left would have loved that one. I feel so bad
that they missed out
on that. I'm going to
go with our buddy Bobcat Goldthwait's
movie, Shakes the Clown.
The Fisher King.
Fisher King.
He only can't hear me.
I don't know what...
Just direct all of your answers to Greg.
I'm deaf as a post.
I'll say Awakenings.
That's the name of that one.
God damn it.
Sorry.
Come to my mind.
Someone just took his L-Dopa.
The one where he plays Oliver Sacks?
Yeah.
It was the prequel to Patch.
God damn name is that one.
Yeah, right?
Oh, it's on me.
Yes.
This is an exciting one.
It's going to take a second.
What am I on here?
Oh, Jumanji.
What?
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
I never saw...
I should say I tried to see the new Jumanji,
but I didn't get through it.
I didn't think it was bad.
I just was sleepy and in a recliner.
But do they show or mention Robin Williams at all in it?
Yeah.
They do?
They do?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, then I'll go with Jumanji, Welcome to the Jungle.
Wow.
No, it's just mentioned.
It's just mentioned. I'll take it back.
I trust you guys.
If it's just a mention, I'll take it back.
But like for Will Smith, you can always go
with that shitty Independence Day sequel because they do show a picture
of him.
We're not playing Will Smith today.
We're playing Williams.
Comma.
Robin. And you can't
talk Robin Williams without saying the words
death to Smoochie.
Dead Poets Society.
Dead Poets Society, Greg.
Chad.
Friday the 13th.
Whoa, neat.
Nice.
Neat deep cut.
Jakob the Liar.
Ooh.
That's fancy.
It was his Roberto Benigni movie.
Okay.
The World According to Garp.
Toys.
Toys. Toys.ys Toys
That was a weird movie
She's having a baby
Yes
Very brief Kevin Bacon
Appearance
In that film
Kevin Bacon is in A Few Good Men
Yes he is he's also in
oh oh oh what the was that one called
exactly you know what i mean the one where he was all and they were like
i'll go back to robert williams that Williams that's safer for me
I think
holy shit
it might be the end of the road
what?
I know right?
I've never seen this
you don't get a lifeline?
I don't think it's fair for me to take forever
If I can't think of one quickly
I should move it along
I agree
Night at the museum
I'm gonna go with Flubber
Flubber Oh with Flubber. Flubber.
Oh, no!
Flubber.
Flubber.
No one saw Flubber coming.
Oh, I love it.
Not even Robin Williams.
He didn't.
He didn't.
Murder in the First.
Bicentennial Men.
Oh, shit.
That whipped around fast.
I can't think.
I'm just going to have to practically repeat
what Greg just said.
Cadillac Man.
RV.
Oh!
Wow.
He's done every vehicle.
RV.
I saw that one on a plane.
And I walked out.
I told you I'm improvising.
Two shows tonight.
Get those tickets, ladies and gentlemen.
The Woodsman.
Oh, sweet Jesus. The lighthearted. Oh. Oh, sweet Jesus.
It's a lighthearted romp.
Yeah.
It's a lighthearted romp.
Oh, cock.
I think I might be pulling up short here.
All right, well, you go to your lifeline.
I'll keep you in the game for a little bit.
Whoever you're...
Byron.
Byron.
Oh, Byron.
Byron, you got one?
X-Men First Class. Yeah! X- you got one? X-Men First Class.
X-Men First Class.
Robin Williams' greatest movie.
Thank you, Byron.
Kevin Bacon has a great death scene
in that where
a coin goes through his head.
Yeah, it's pretty neat.
Pretty memorable.
And then the songs that he sings
after they put the coin in him
are all incredible.
Oh, shit, I had a good Robin Williams.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, I was so excited.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
One hour photo.
Fuck.
What was the last one you said, Greg?
Bicentennial Man, I think.
Oh, no, X-Men.
Oh, yeah, because what was your last one, Chad?
Do you remember?
Sorry, I didn't mean to change the game on you guys.
Now let's play Remember the Last Thing You Said. I don't even remember change the game on you guys. Now let's play
Remember the Last Thing You Said.
I can't remember what the fuck I said.
RV.
Yeah, you're RV.
I said Woodsman.
Oh yeah, there you go.
Neither of those helped me.
I thought they might have, but they didn't.
It's my turn?
Is it?
Yes, Ralph.
Ferngully, The Last Forest. Ralph. Fern Gully, The Last Forest.
Fern Gully.
Ralph says Fern Gully, The Last Forest.
Nice.
That was a very nice poll.
That's amazing, Ralph.
Chad.
Popeye.
Popeye.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Of course. Holy shit. Of course.
Holy hell.
God damn.
I'm looking for a celebrity.
Dude, that was awesome.
Wow.
Your life line will be fine.
You're not going to need to call anybody.
I've got one in my mind here.
Oh, so then, yeah, that's it.
Sorry.
Greg?
But I can't think of the goddamn title.
Oh, one of those.
Yeah.
That's tricky.
Don't yell out answers, please.
Or say them quietly like that guy did, but I still heard it.
Still hear it.
Yeah.
I guess if you whisper around Greg, he won't hear it.
Did we have Club Paradise?
No, we haven't.
I kept thinking, is it Hotel Paradise?
I couldn't think of the right wording
of it, so Club Paradise. You're still in it.
With Peter O'Toole and Robin Williams. You're still in it.
And I have to
recuse myself on, I'm just going to take it out of
the game for everybody, and I still
have to say another answer, but I heard a guy
say hook. Oh! Of course. say hook yeah or a lady I can't see that far back in the somebody said it so instead
of that I'm gonna go with I'm gonna say Robin Williams was in a movie called A Night at the Museum Battle for the Smithsonian.
God damn it.
Wait, I don't get to call a celeb in addition?
No, no.
If your lifeline had failed you,
then you could have picked up the phone.
But your lifeline succeeded.
Okay, for Kevin Bacon.
You got it.
Six degrees of separation.
So many.
They mention him,
but they don't show him.
I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure.
Oh, no.
I know.
Somebody's so sad over there.
It's hella cute.
She's so sad.
But the punchline's
going to remain open.
I'm sorry if I wasn't
looking at the right person.
Chad?
Stir of Echoes.
Nice.
You're going to win this, Chad.
Damn it. It's a bike messenger can't and I think it's called relentless or some goddamn thing ceaseless indomitable silver wheels I can't remember the name
so close you're just too slow what was it you almost That's close. You almost, silver is so close, but you can't be so slow.
I'm taking myself out.
I don't know what I,
You're too slow.
Ceaseless, relentless.
Quick silver.
Oh, quick silver.
Quick silver.
He's a bike messenger.
This is an 80s movie
when there was loads
of bike messengers
in San Francisco
and he rode a 10 speed,
which no bike messenger
rode ever
because you would be
killed on one.
They used to smoke dope in Leedsdorf Alley right over here.
Well, I worked downtown for a while.
All right, so Greg is out.
And Chad is up.
House of D.
Wow.
No one believes me that that's a movie.
Parker Posey?
Was she in that?
David Duchovny directed that one.
David Duchovny?
Yeah.
Okay.
Which one?
Bacon was in it?
No, Robin Williams.
Robin Williams?
Oh.
A little small part in that or something?
No, he had a pretty big part.
Okay. He's on the video box. Robin Williams. A little small part in that or something? No, he had a pretty big part.
He's on the video box.
Did he have as big a part as Kevin Bacon had in Mystic River?
Nice. I'll go planes, trains, and automobiles.
Oh, right.
That's right.
Kevin Bacon, Cam.
Damn it.
Okay.
I'm really out of steam here, you guys.
Can't remember what that last fucking museum movie was called
oh oh oh oh
oh
year of our lives with kurt russell and robin williams oh that's not the name of it. What's it called? Best of Times. Best of Times.
Chad is our winner.
Taylor Hockford.
Chad, you did it.
Awesome, Chad.
Okay, so you knew Quicksilver.
What's the Robin Williams movie where he plays Armistead Mopan
and it's about T.J. Leroy and Tony Collette's in it?
And she has the pretend family and he comes to the Midwest.
What the hell? What's it called?
What's it called?
The Night Listener. God damn it.
Damn, you good. Yeah, that's good.
That's a good movie. Robin's awesome in that.
Oh, okay. It's a really, really
top movie. She's like T.J.
Leroy, she's lied about her whole past and everything
and he's an author who comes out from San Francisco
and it's really good.
Nothing blew up so you guys wouldn't like it but it's one of those talking things like dialogue and character development and shit like that so what's the third night of
the museum called man what yeah i was you're right i was trying to think of hollow man oh no with that
one where i was like he's like and they're like that was that was hollow man but uh was kevin bacon and tremors too as well he was not he was
not right immediately yeah flat liners that's good which one jfk of course rob weiler's apollo 13.
so many there's so many
but none of you know
nobody knows the third night of this
museum
dead poet society
someone said it
sleepers
that's a good one
old dogs
old dogs
this is crazy I was sitting on dead again That's a good one. Old dogs. Old dogs.
This is crazy.
I was sitting on dead again.
The secret of the tomb is the third.
I got to commit that to memory because there's a lot of actors in that.
All right, well, great job to all of us.
Nice little tribute to Robin here at the Punchline.
Now is the time when we promote ourselves.
Amy, what have you got to plug?
Thursday, August 1st, I'll be in Salem, Oregon
at the Capital City Theater.
And the second weekend in August,
I will be in Boise, Idaho at Liquid Laps.
Go to all my dates at...
What?
amymillercomedy.com or follow me on Twitter,
Amy Miller, and listen to my podcast, Who's Your God?
And I'll be out front selling pillowcases and albums.
Nice.
Thank you, Amy. Can I go now?
Oh, if you want to go now, you can.
Yeah.
We'll definitely be able to talk more freely.
Without a girl around? Yeah, yeah. It's going to get real man-ish now. We'll definitely be able to talk more freely.
Yeah, yeah.
It's going to get real man-ish now.
Where is Ralph?
Come get your prizes, Ralph.
Yeah.
Where's he at?
Oh, he's over there. Ralph is mine.
Oh, sorry, Ralph.
Sit down.
It's Ray.
Sit down, Ralph.
Oh, yeah, it's Ray.
No, where's Ray?
Yeah, he knew.
The right guy knew.
There you go, dude.
Do you want your name tag back?
Do you want to give it back to him?
Do you want it back?
He doesn't want it back.
I'm going to try to throw it to him.
Watch your eyes, everybody.
Yeah, those were some pointy corners.
Thanks, Ray.
Congratulations, Ray.
Oh, oh, oh. You get this poster also. I won't throw poster also I won't throw it I
won't throw it but yeah grab that and I'll on your way out I'll sign that for
you if you if you'd like that Ray all right thank you
Greg groups yes my podcast is called the Smartest Man in the World
and that's free to download
on iTunes
or on
gregproops.com
I'll be in the Tacoma
and Spokane
comedy clubs next weekend
with podcasts
in both clubs
and stand up as well
making a new album here
my last album
is called The Resistance
that came out last year
guess what it's about
and
then I'm going to Edinburghinburgh if any of our
your international listeners i'll be doing whose line with a bunch of the british guys for the
last two weeks of the edinburgh festival including the mammal called clive anderson and uh he'll be
there and then i'm doing a podcast in london at the soho theater on august 28th neat yeah it'll
be fun thank you you, Greg.
And then we're doing
Nightmare Before Christmas Live
in December in Glasgow,
London at Wembley,
and in Dublin as well.
That's the first week of December.
Whoa.
That's awesome.
With Danny Elfman
and Captain O'Hare
and a full orchestra.
Yeah, everybody.
We show the movie
and we play this.
And an orchestra.
I saw it at the Hollywood Bowl
last summer.
It was amazing.
Or last October, I guess.
But could you do a line
that you do in the movie?
Oh, I'd be happy to.
Won't they be impressed
I am a genius?
See how I transform
this old rock into a most delightful hat my favorite one i get to do
is uh i am the one hiding under the stairs fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair
i could listen to that all night uh that is nice work
I could listen to that all night.
That is awesome. Nice work, Bone Daddy.
Has anyone seen Jack?
He's been up there all night.
I've seen the movie a lot now.
Yeah, that's true, I guess.
You have to stand in front of it the whole time
waiting for your parts.
But such a fun thing.
What's the crawl crowd laughing about over there all right so thank you to the punchline thank you to the city of San Francisco for being smart about
keeping this place open it's open year-round I could do this show in the colder months.
I thought August was one of the colder months.
And one more time for all of my guests,
Amy Miller,
Chad Opitz,
and Greg Proops.
As always,
positive energy,
motherfuckers. See, one of the producers of the show is here
and we can't even get the theme song on.
He's such a dumb motherfucker.