Doug Loves Movies - Greg Proops, Chad Daniels, Geoff Tate and Jacob Sirof guest
Episode Date: January 3, 2016Live from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Greg Proops, Chad Daniels, Geoff Tate and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California... Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby Cindy
Seats with 50, as if five more kernels in his teeth
They're still not warm, that he won't sit
Oh, come on, who needs... Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies!
That was the perfect one to end the year on.
Coming to you once again from Cobb's Comedy Club
in San Francisco, California.
It's Thursday, December 31st, 2015,
at four-ish.
Let me see your name tags, Bay Arians.
Straight out of Tiff and Josh Compton.
I like that.
There's some donuts right up front.
If those get selected, they will be thrown.
The Bucklechops?
What does that mean?
It's the breakfast club,
but why does it say the Bucklechops?
Your last name is Bucklechop?
Your online name is Bucklechop.
Like that's an excuse to be called Buckle Chop.
Oh, my God, it goes so deep.
It's so good.
Is there any in the balcony?
I feel sorry for you if there are.
I don't think so.
Oh, there's one.
He's lighting up a shirt.
She is.
I can't tell.
Well, great job, everybody.
Go ahead and put those down,
but that's pretty spectacular.
I should Snapchat that or some shit.
Maybe I will when the guests
are looking for name tags,
maybe I'll Periscope it.
No, I'm not going to Periscope it.
Maybe I will.
We Periscoped once, me throwing a donut at Bert Kreischer's chest on this very stage.
That was a great moment.
I did it.
I watched 365 movies in 365 days.
Mm-hmm.
All right, I actually
watched 364.
I gotta watch
one more tonight
by midnight.
I think I can do it.
That's why I announced it
so confidently.
Got the applause it deserves.
Because if I said, I gotta watch one more,
then you guys would have, all right, go for it.
And when would I have ever gotten that?
Because we're back at the Meltdown Comics
this Saturday in Los Angeles.
This is a more mellow, smaller situation
than this Cobbs Comedy Club.
Saturday at 4.20.
And also be sure to watch me on Ad Midnight
on Comedy Central or Much in Canada
Monday, January 4th through Thursday, January 7th.
It's Benson Bowl Week.
I'm taking on a lot of people
that have been on this show, like Matt Besser
and Jonah Ray and Chris Cubis,
so it's going to be super fun.
I brought
some stuff in the bag here
that I'm going to share with you guys.
Someone's going home with this tonight but I don't know how they're gonna pick a name tags
tonight. This is quite a selection. But first of all, hot off the
presses from our friends at Chameleon Glass, this is a getting done with high mug that is also a working tobacco pipe.
So, yes, that's a pretty nice item.
They made, like, a few of those for me.
And since I, you know, live alone and no one ever comes over,
I thought it would be better
to just give them away to somebody that might
be able to showcase them, give them
the glory that they deserve
I'll tell you about this in a second
but I also have a book
that was sent to me called
How to Smoke Pot Properly
A Highbrow
Guide to Getting High and it seems like a pretty entertaining book to smoke pot properly, a highbrow guide to getting high.
And it seems like a pretty entertaining book, but they flagged a one page in the book that
they wanted me to notice that they quoted me.
And the thing that they quoted me as saying is something another comic friend of mine
says.
It was in the marijuana logs, which I was also in,
so maybe they were just listening to the CD
and they didn't know the difference between me and Tony.
So, but anyway, it's a good quote.
And it's in this book and now it's in the bag.
I don't feel bad about giving it away without reading it.
When the one thing about me is wrong.
But I want to give him a promotion because it does sound like a good read.
How to Smoke Pot Properly.
Are you guys ready to meet our guests?
You know, there's a lot of great comedy all over the world tonight celebrating New Year's
Eve.
For some reason, people want to go see a comedy show.
That's why I thought it'd be fun to do this
at four in the afternoon, you know,
before everyone got drunk and stupid.
Because you go to a late...
Too late, you son of a bitch.
If you go to a...
You know what I mean?
If you go to a show that actually ends around midnight,
like, people are so fucked up and so excited about midnight that they don't want to
listen to the comedian
and their inner thoughts.
It's more like, it's all about
me, me, me. So I thought,
let's do a game show where people bring
name tags, and let's
do it early enough that you guys
can get out of the city if you want to
leave before the zombie
apocalypse.
can get out of the city if you want to
leave before
the zombie apocalypse.
And I'm telling you right now,
I don't even care
how this goes.
Just the fact
that it's sold out
and you guys are here,
we're doing it again
next year.
Your mission, everyone in this audience,
is to remember tomorrow what happened during this show.
And if you can't remember,
it'll be available on iTunes.
So you can just go ahead and give it a listen.
I almost introduced my guests,
and then I didn't,
so they're probably just all huddled over there
like the Marx Brothers in a closet.
Please welcome Chad Daniels, Jacob Seroff,
Greg Proops, and Jeff Tate.
Thank you. As-salamu alaykum.
Alaykum as-salam.
Thank you.
All right.
Everyone's so polite,
I don't know who to call on first.
Let's say hi to
performing tonight
across the street
on the other side of the tracks
at the Punchline.
It's Greg Proops, everybody.
Hello, San Francisco.
Word up, 415.
Happy New Year, everybody.
Prospero año nuevo y felicidad.
So you got like a couple shows over there tonight.
Yeah, I got two shows tonight at the Punchline
and then none tomorrow for some reason.
I guess they figure everyone's dead.
And then we start again on the second
for two more shows.
It's the Resurrection Show.
I try to talk them into doing a show
on New Year's Day.
I figure some people would want to go out.
Well, Bono, because all is quiet.
Take your time.
Don't let that one
roll around the room
for a while.
Oh, you have to remember
stuff to get Greg sometimes.
I'm stoned, but I'm agile.
I do know that song.
Thank you for being here. What did you bring for the prize bag? I'm glad you asked but I'm agile. I do know that song. Thank you for being here.
What did you bring for the prize bag?
I'm glad you asked, Mr. Benson.
I brought two Bingo Plus Scratchers,
which have a street value of $6.
So I'm offering you the chance
to spin the Massey Wheel of Fortune
to start 2016
and perhaps win, according to this, up to $20,000.
There's two free spaces, I don't know what that means.
It is, after all, a piece of cardboard,
so I have no idea what that entails.
Go ahead.
Here we go.
It's going in the bag.
You sure you don't want it?
Oh no, I'm good.
All right.
I don't approve of gambling.
All right.
If you win the 20K, do not reach out.
We don't want to know about it.
Oh, it's all yours.
That's how I feel about it.
Hold on tightly.
Let go lightly.
And sitting to his left like he's in a contest to try to look like him.
It's Jacob Searoff, everybody.
Thanks for stepping on the first joke in my head, Doug.
How are you, son?
I just looked over the way you're dressed.
Like you both met in the middle.
You both never dress like this.
I've never seen either of you
all jeans and cardigan like that.
And then bam!
Both brought it.
I told these guys to take their shirts off.
We'll go sweaters versus skins.
I think it's pretty easy
to tell us all apart already.
You can keep your sweaters on
and we'll just be the guys without sweaters.
Where's your team spirit, Tate?
What?
Yeah.
What'd you bring for the bag, Jacob?
I brought
this shocking Star Wars item.
I got the Star Wars Stickerland Fun Pad.
I stole it from my six-year-old nephew,
but he hadn't used it yet.
So all the stickers are there,
and he doesn't know what's missing.
Wow.
I don't know if I want that.
It's an item of contraband.
And then this has kind of turned out
to be accidentally appropriate.
I got this, some swag from a girl I know.
But Tito's Vodka,
which is a brand you like to drink a lot, Doug.
That's Doug's brand.
Tito's Handmade Vodka, girl, tank top.
And also, I got some tobacco for your tobacco pipe.
Well, isn't that gracious?
It comes with a tiny X-wing.
All right, there it is.
Went right into the bag. It's got a TIE fighter in it, too. It's an X-wing. All right, there it is. Went right into the bag, so.
It's got a TIE fighter in it too.
It's an X-wing, Greg.
It's a what?
It's an X-wing.
You were in Star Wars, dude, come on.
Yes, but aside from that, I have a life, Gene.
I know.
That's the difference between you and me.
Put it in the bag.
I need you to put it in the bag.
These aren't the toys you want.
Hannah, I think we should break up.
If you owned that pad, you wouldn't have to say it
because you wouldn't have anyone.
I don't know what's happening.
Jeff Tate is here, everybody!
Hello.
Hi.
You gotta finish those fucking garlic fries, man.
Those are driving me crazy.
No, I don't want them.
I don't...
My eyes are watering. That's a big pile of fries. No, I don't want them. I don't...
My eyes are watering.
That's a big pile of fries.
He's not finishing those anytime soon.
Oh, he moved them back a table.
That's nice.
That is nice.
That guy's a nice fellow, I guess.
Hi, Doug.
Jeff, did you call ahead and ask for the rock and roll microphone?
Like, did you say, I'm going to be singing Mr. Roboto, and I need something that's going to help sell that?
Mr. Roboto is your reference point for rock and roll?
No, I just, I sort of switched off of rock and roll to sticks when I reassessed what that microphone looks like.
It looks like Mr. Roboto's microphone.
Wait, Mr. Roboto is a real dude?
He did a few shows.
I thought this looked more like Jukebox Hero, Foreigner, Hot-Blooded, Check It and See.
I got a fever. What is it? 103.
That's too hot. That'll put you in a fever. What is it? 103. That's too high.
That'll put you in a coma.
Their song is not... You don't need sex to get rid of a 103-degree fever.
You've been listening to a preview of Jeff Loves Lyrics.
Oh, shit.
Turn your phone off, Doug. Be a pro.
Yeah, I don't, for that very reason,
I don't normally start a show at 4 o'clock
because now we got interrupted by it's 419.
Does anybody sitting up close have, like, a vapor pen?
Like an indoor situation?
Yeah, let me borrow your indoor situation.
Hey, while you're doing that,
can I explain what my prize bag stuff is?
What? I got stuff for the prize bag.
Okay, tell us about it, Jeff.
Thank you, Doug.
I have a t-shirt from
Salem Inc. It's a tattoo shop
in Salem, Massachusetts.
And this cool dude named Adam
works there, gave me this shirt, gave me a couple of tattoos. If you're ever in Salem, Massachusetts. And this cool dude named Adam works there, gave me this shirt, gave me a couple
of tattoos.
If you're ever in Salem, Massachusetts,
go to this place,
get a tattoo. There's also a place called
Boston Hot Dogs there that has the best fucking
hot dogs I've ever had in my life.
They don't have Gatorade,
but they have cream soda.
And I got Chewbacca.
Woo!
Right? It's also20. And I got Chewbacca. Right?
It's also Star Wars related
but I'm going to take it out of the box
so that if you win
you can't be like a dork
and be like,
I'm just going to save it forever.
This is hard to watch.
You see how the head
bounces around?
That only happens.
Guys, this is not
420 behavior.
Stomping on the packaging
of a poor little
It's a bobblehead Chewbacca.
Chewbobble head.
And if you leave it in the box,
the head doesn't bobble.
It's just funless.
But not now.
Now it's fun.
He set it free, and it's ready for fun.
Yep.
So here's my two things.
There you go.
Thank you.
Jeff Tate, everybody.
So considerate.
And Jeff, I brought something
in case you didn't bring one, because you didn't
bring one. Speaking of
Star Wars. Oh, see,
it's already broken.
Because it's out of the box too soon.
One of your
shirts, Make the Rounds
tour shirt, where you're
Chewbacca on there.
Yeah, I'm out.
Yeah, there you go.
So I got one for you for the prize bag.
Yeah, because I would never be caught
dead in it.
I've seen you wear it a couple of times.
No, I wore it on a couple different
internet programs, so now I'm
giving it away.
I don't wear the same thing
more than a couple of times.
Me either.
I wore all of these clothes last night.
And the night before.
I just look at Greg's Instagram
and then wear that.
Today's sweater day.
He just looks like
a little dog on the 4th of July.
He just looks like a little dog on the Fourth of July.
Just get in the bag.
The fireworks will stop in a day or two.
Seeing Greg Proops not in a suit is like when you run into a teacher at the grocery store.
I'm wearing a suit underneath here.
This is a tear-off sweater.
It reveals a Hugo Boss.
Also, I noticed you're wearing fingerless gloves tonight.
How's it going being in that gang of pickpockets in England?
It's going
right dandy, mate.
Also joining us today,
took me a while to get through everybody, but here we are.
Headlining,
finishing off, as they say,
as I just said, the shows
tonight here in this very club
at Cobbs. It's Chad Daniels, everybody!
Hi, everyone.
I was given
a D.L. Hughley microphone.
It has a big bump on it from being
dropped. Oh, yeah.
He says stuff that...
Oh, just at the end he drops it?
Yeah. Boom. I'm out.
He also sometimes does it during the show.
I've opened for DL.
He's a delight.
That's what the D stands for.
And the L.
Oh, yeah.
That's what the L stands for as well.
D-Light.
Like the mic drop, does it always have to be like,
where you just suddenly let go of it?
Or sometimes do you actually add a little thrust to it as you're dropping it?
I've never done it.
You kind of throw it down a little bit.
I'm not cool enough to do it, but I've seen it.
And sometimes there's thrust. I beg of you it. You kind of throw it down a little bit. I'm not cool enough to do it, but I've seen it, and sometimes there's thrust.
I beg of you,
if you win any of the games tonight,
when you win,
do a mic drop,
just so you can feel what it's like.
Okay, is it cool?
It's terrific.
Because the floor here is kind of carpeted,
and as you said,
it's already got a dent in it,
so I say just go nuts with it
if you just spike that fucking thing.
Okay. If you feel it.
I do.
Okay.
And what'd you bring for the prize bag?
Well, I'm a fucking idiot.
I brought a book to a movie thing.
But it's my favorite book.
I brought The Old Man and the Sea.
Also a movie.
And then I brought a Toomey overnight kit that i got on a flight to hong kong
or san francisco and it has uh facial tissues toothbrush dental floss socks eye shade pen
shoe polish shoe horn earplugs paper bands and cards i don't think that's a good thing
refreshing hand wipe comb outer degradable poly
bag, and a nylon polyester
bag. All of that is in that little thing?
Yeah. It's like
Richie Rich's shit.
It's really tiny
versions of each of those things.
Like, barely usable.
You should take it all out of the package
so that they'll have to use it.
Oh, this Old Man and the Sea
looks like a super easy read.
Yeah.
It's my favorite book.
It's quite short.
It's like a short story.
That's awesome.
Let me finish it up real quick you guys
Let's go down the line
Starting with you Greg
Last motion picture that you saw
With your own eyes
I saw Youth
With Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel
Jane Fonda and
Oh what's that cat's name?
Paul Dano
And it was okay I know, it was okay.
I don't want to spoil the ending or anything.
Oh, they have a movie called Youth,
starring a bunch of old people?
Yeah.
Yeah, I wonder where that's headed.
I think it's supposed to be ironic.
It started off on a full head of steam,
because Harvey Keitel is awesome beyond measure,
and then it, I don't know,
I thought it limped across the finish line okay like webster when he ran that marathon exactly
i should have picked another movie quite frankly but i just see you last i was just trying to yeah
i watch old movies all the time but uh i'm always i'm always the one on the show who goes yeah i was
just watching meet me in St. Louis or whatever,
and your whole crowd goes, fuck you, old man!
What was it like when movies were powered by steam?
Well, what was the last movie you saw
that would cause that reaction?
It's not like you slayed the room or anything.
Well, I realized once I said youth
that no one in this room is going to see it
or has any idea what it is
or who Michael fucking Kane is outside of Alfred.
So, oh, walk it off.
And, um...
Uh, the Palm Beach story
by Preston Sturgess.
How is it? That's a good one?
Yeah, it's very funny.
A lot of stars, very popular today.
Joel McRae.
Claudette Colbert.
I think a lot of the kids here are... Oh, I loved
her on Colbert Report.
She was Claudette
on the Colbert Report.
Alright, well yeah, that's a
that is a classic. I can't remember
if I've... Some of those classics
when I'm watching them, I go, yeah, I have seen
this, and that one I don't think that I have seen this. And that one, I don't think
that I have. It has a character called the Weenie King.
You'd remember it. I definitely haven't seen
that. A movie with the
Weenie King in it.
What about you, Jacob? What was the last thing
you saw? Really?
Star Wars for how many times?
I did five the other day. Really?
Number five? He's up to five, everybody.
Yeah. I don't know.
Throne-ass man.
I did Attack of the Clones 21.
I'm trying to...
I don't think I'm going to beat it, though.
Shut the fuck up.
That was one they had heard of.
Just didn't care for.
What, between... On your journey from having seen it once to having seen it five times, has anything changed?
Have you grown to hate something or grown to love something?
Or is it just the same great experience every time?
No, I think it's changed every time.
The first time was a little, it was kind of overwhelming.
Just had to get that one out of the way.
I went by myself, you know, didn't want anyone
talking to me about the movie or that kind of fucking shit.
You know, people feel the need to tell me
how much they hate the other movies.
And so, and then it was kind of like,
I wasn't sure what I was seeing the second time
I really got behind it.
And then now I really like it.
But I have to say, this is probably an unpopular opinion.
It's the biggest piece of fan fiction ever made.
Because if it's not Lucas, it's not real.
It's not the Bible for me unless it's Lucas.
But it's great. It's a great movie.
It's like Star Tours the movie.
He loves it. He loves it.
It's a great Star Wars experience.
As a Star Wars nerd, there's novels and comics and video games,
and it's a great experience like that.
But if it's not from George, it's fan fiction.
So you prefer Star Wars if it's not from, I mean, if it's not from George, it's, you know, it's just, it's fan fiction. So you prefer Star Wars
if it's kind of boring? I don't,
I don't, I don't, I'm not even capable
of understanding that sentence.
Are the newer Star Treks, is that
fan fiction also? I don't like those.
I hate those movies. I think those are just bad movies.
But do you still, do you feel like the fans
of Star Trek should have the same attitude?
Yeah, I do, actually.
They're well-made movies, but the whole alternate universe,
that's a whole conversation.
I just think every single person that worked on the latest Star Wars must have had such a love for what they were doing.
Oh, absolutely.
They did such a great job.
Same thing for the people that write the novels and make the cartoons.
You know what I mean?
It doesn't feel like, even though it does hit a lot of the same beats
and it is sort of a recreation of the earlier movies,
it still also feels fresh at the same time somehow.
I agree.
I don't have that complaint about it being a rehash.
I think it's a great movie.
It was in the cartoon as well.
Yeah.
That was Tal Merrick.
What's the name of that cartoon?
Clone Wars?
Clone Wars, yeah.
I didn't have to tell him that.
There's a reason I dress like this, Greg.
Yeah.
I know who you are.
The best part was,
I did one as Tal Merrick
and I got killed at the end
and then they called me
and they go,
we want you to do another episode
and I went,
but my character's dead
and they went,
this is Star Wars,
it's a prequel.
I was hoping they were gonna go,
oh, fuck, never mind.
Yeah, right.
Oh, you are your dad?
Shit.
Stay home.
Jeff?
Has anyone here seen it more than five times?
I'm just curious.
Can anyone beat five in here?
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
That's what's up.
Sorry.
Has anyone seen a movie five times they didn't like?
Because that's what you did, it sounds like.
No, I liked the movie a lot.
I liked the movie a lot.
You're like, what a fucking, no George Lucas.
I'll only see it five times.
No, no, no.
I'm not done.
I'm not done.
Okay.
I'll see it at least ten.
I'll see it at least ten.
All right.
The last movie I saw five times in the theater was Con Air.
Amazing. I think that speaks more to how they feel about Jeff than in the theater was Con Air. Amazing.
I think that speaks more to how they feel about Jeff
than how they feel about Con Air.
I'm hoping, for the crowd's sake.
Both.
I'm the Con Air of comedians.
Right?
Why is there so much cursing?
I don't think anything just happened.
Who do we root for it was such
a it was such a subtle shift for me between seeing things repeatedly and
then just sort of seeing things only once or twice or especially having gaps
of time in between seeing things like but it used to really be a thing where
you'd see a movie in the theater, like, many times.
I mean, obviously, the first Star Wars, people would see it hundreds of times before it left the theaters.
I think I saw The Fifth Element, like, seven times.
And that movie sucks.
Whoa.
Wait, what are they booing?
That he watched it so much?
Or that it sucks?
You don't think it sucks?
Big Ruby Rod fans?
They love it?
You know the movie's
not about Ruby Rod.
Oh, really?
It's just the dude
that's in it a little bit.
He's in it for a lot.
That's all,
I mean,
whatever it was,
20 years later,
that's all I remember
is Ruby Rod
and the chick
with the blue brick
in her stomach
or whatever.
Terrible memory.
Yeah, it's not perfect
but I enjoy
aspects of it.
Have you seen the whole thing?
Do you just catch parts of it?
I was in the theater seven times.
You saw the fifth element seven times?
That's like 35 times.
You saw 35 elements.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I hadn't thought of it.
A periodic charge or some shit.
A periodic table of elements. I like fuck is wrong with you? I hadn't thought of that. Periodic charge or some shit. A periodic table of elements.
I like the fifth element, but
I'm dumb.
I don't even own
a cardigan.
The last movie I saw was
I watched The Equalizer this morning.
Because I talked
about the last movie I saw last night
like we could talk about sisters again if you want but we could talk about the
equalizer too it's pretty fucking right I like the equalizer he reads the old
man in the sea at the beginning as a way to be like it was like foreshadowing, but not, you know, not subtle.
Like it was like foreshadowing the icon.
You know what I mean?
Like a lot of times people are like, that's foreshadowing.
And I'm like, I don't know what you mean.
But in this movie, he's like,
the old man just has to do what he has to do,
even if he doesn't want to.
And I was like, hang on.
That sounds like this guy.
Yeah.
I'm a fan of things getting spelled out for me.
Chad?
On the flight here, I watched Straight Outta Compton, crazy motherfucker
named Ice Cube.
Was it edited
for airplanes? It wasn't.
I had to push a button that said, are you over 18?
And so I could hear the word fuck,
but not see any tits.
So they blurred out any
nudity, but all the...
What airline was that?
Delta.
Really?
Uh-huh.
I have not yet pressed the 18 button.
Yeah, I haven't had that feature,
but then also then why go through that process
if you're going to blur out the tits
just to hear the F-bombs?
Were you coming from Japan?
There's been a couple tweets written about that.
I'm not thrilled with it.
I pushed 18.
It was $6.
I missed out on like 34 tits.
Because there's a lot of partying going on.
I never thought of that.
When you're paying for just one movie
and then they edit it,
that doesn't seem right.
You should get a no-titty discount.
Yeah.
I tried to watch Die Hard on the airplane
and they edit a lot out of that
like language and everything
and then I got tired of it so I switched to
The Big Lebowski and they don't edit anything
out of The Big Lebowski
and I do not understand
why they do that
it just
varies from
it just depends on a lot of planes now
there's a lot of private viewing and listening
so they're just letting the movies go
unedited, but they're still making
edited versions for airlines
because they still have
they still show them to the whole plane sometimes
so I think
those are just getting all mixed around
so you just don't know what you're going to get
I was watching a movie on my laptop once where there was a sex
scene and this woman tapped me on the shoulder
and said, I don't care to watch that.
So then I did have the first episode of Lost on my laptop
and I started that and shifted it towards her
during that big ass plane crash.
And it was like, how about this, better?
What an asshole.
You got here from sex and you can't watch it?
Shut the fuck up already.
People are so dumb.
She's like, I am tired of watching through the crack in the seat, this awful...
I am tired of having an awful vantage point
for what is clearly some pretty entertaining shit.
Yeah, it's weird.
I was in a concert,
and I was eating peanuts.
This has a promising start.
A lady sitting in front of me
turns around and says,
could you not eat those peanuts
near my child?
He has a severe peanut allergy.
At a concert?
At a concert, yeah.
What were you at? The kids thing?
I don't know.
I don't have any kids.
The Wiggles, is it?
I was at a Wiggles show.
This is one of the top five improvisers in the world.
None of us could have pulled out Kidz Thing.
If I tried to do that riff,
I would have just ended up tying this cord around my neck
and dying right here on the stage.
But fortunately for us, we have a top five improviser.
What were you, at some sort of Kidz Thing?
I thought you liked having things spelled out.
Yeah.
I didn't want to jump in with the wiggles
and leave you behind, man.
I was being sincere.
What were you doing at a concert
where there were children, Doug?
It was a... Please tell me you didn't take a van there
no
no I took an Uber and it was a T-Swift show
and
you know
and it's in a fucking stadium so they sell
shelled peanuts and I'm sitting there cracking
them open and enjoying the nuts
and the lady turns around
tries to shut me down
and I just kept eating the nuts and the lady turns around and tries to shut me down and
I just kept eating the nuts.
Good thing that didn't happen to Chad.
What do you want me to do?
She didn't ask me a second time. If she asked me a second time
we would have either had an interesting conversation
or I would have
gotten up and went somewhere else
to finish the nuts because I wouldn't want
to really endanger a child but
it seemed a little ridiculous.
There should be a peanut section.
Like a peanut gallery
type thing.
Don't you dare encourage this bullshit.
Don't you dare.
You mean you have to wear a
top hat and have a monocle and spats
on to sit in that section?
Like Mr. Fucking Peanut?
I'll just explain that one to everyone.
For Jeff? Did you explain that for Jeff?
Thank you.
I couldn't handle it when the Mr. Peanut voice changed from Robert Downey Jr. to Bill Hader.
It really rocked my world.
What about Colonel Sanders changing to Norma Donald from Daryl Hammond?
I didn't mind that because I didn't understand
any of it from the beginning.
But I thought
that Norma Donald Jr. is a pretty good
Mr. Peter.
Bill Hader's great.
Alright,
so we did all we needed
to cover so far, right? Everything's
pretty much on schedule.
We got to keep things tight tonight because they got more shows here at Cobbs featuring two of the guys on this stage.
Chad and Jacob are in the shows tonight, along with who else is on the shows, guys?
We got his Podrace announcer counterpart, Scott Capuro, on the show.
We have both Podrace announcers on the same stage the same day. his pod race announcer counterpart, Scott Capuro, on the show.
We have both pod race announcers on the same stage the same day.
That's pretty cool.
Wow, that's crazy.
Yeah.
That is kind of weird.
Two people from a Star Wars movie
and Jacob is here.
Yeah.
I think I'm the only person in the world
to actually have an action figure
with him and Scott's signature on it
of that character.
I don't think anyone else has that.
You're the only person
with that action figure, yeah.
Yeah.
Not a lot of people go,
fuck the pod race announcer, got it.
I feel like I'm watching a horrible twin act.
Really?
I wish you wouldn't say that,
because I'm twin allergic.
Let's do the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin
Odin, give me strength
People brought name tags
Lots and lots of name tags
A dazzling array
Of name tags
Yeah, and you gotta go
Pick whichever one you want to play for.
Bring it back to your seat.
We don't got a sponsor on this one,
so listeners get to hear all the excitement that happens
when the name tags are being selected.
It's a little noisier crowd tonight
than I think Nashville was a quieter bunch.
Not Nashville. Where was I?
Sacramento.
Come on, you guys. Pick good ones.
Look at that one over there flashing and twirling.
Put a lot of work into that.
Flashy twirly thingy.
Here we go.
I'm making a vine, you guys. I'm making a vine. I'm making a vine, you guys.
I'm making a vine.
I'm making a vine.
I'm making a vine.
I feel kind of hoodwinked.
This is one of the most exciting vines ever made.
I'm making a vine.
All right.
Okay, shut up.
I'm going to take all the other people off.
Whoa, those are faces of so many guests and people that might be here.
I know, but she told me, oh, you're on it.
Then it was like in some anonymous ass way.
Like, I want to feel special about this.
All right.
You know, Jeff's always on the post. Don't take my face off of it.
Oh, I won't take yours off.
All right.
Or Greg's, because he was in Star Wars.
All right, well, let's start with Greg
who are you playing for Greg?
Marina and hers is the Marina
Horror Picture Shop
a particular favorite of mine
you like that movie?
yeah now there's a movie I've seen a lot of times
I've probably seen it 20-30 times
in theaters with people throwing stuff and all that shit?
Oh, hell yeah.
The first time I saw it, we drove up from San Carlos,
where I'm from, the whitest place on earth.
And home of the plain yogurt festival.
Thank you very much.
And we drove up to San Francisco, this is like 1976.
And we went to a theater that's not here anymore
on Market Street called the Egypt.
And there was a guy, a homeless guy out in front,
a Hector in the line.
And then we went inside
and people were smoking dope in the theater.
And that was the first time I remember that.
And a dude was wearing like a DNA molecule
on his head and no shirt.
And they played Lady Marmalade
and everyone got up and danced before the movie.
It was fucking wild.
And I was pretty high.
I remember thinking the movie
was like four and a half hours long.
Like I never thought it would end.
So I've always enjoyed Rocky Horror.
And I think Tim Curry is an astounding performer.
He's great, yeah.
Real quick question though, and be honest with me.
What is your favorite Will Smith movie?
Will Smith?
Yeah, what's your favorite Will Smith movie?
Is that a trick question?
No, no, just any, there's no wrong answers.
I just-
I like the one where he was, you know,
where he had to be homeless and he created the thing,
Happiness, I think it was.
Pursuit of Happiness?
Yeah, yeah.
And he lived in the park station with his son and whatnot.
I thought he was quite good in them.
Tell the truth!
I didn't like The Last Man on Earth one.
I thought that kind of blew.
Oh, After Earth?
It's like the fifth remake of I Am Legend or whatever.
It was called I Am Legend.
Oh, it's called I Am Legend.
I Am Legend, yeah.
But there was a Vincent Price one,
and then there was a Mega Man with Charlton Heston,
and then there was the Will Smith one,
and I didn't think the Will Smith one was so hot.
Yeah, I didn't like the CGI zombie things
with that scary...
Eh, eh, eh.
Jacob.
I'm playing for New Year's Edith,
who was nice enough to put me and you
and Fode and Dee, the two Padres announcers
from Star Wars, on her sign for us.
And she also put pictures of her kids on,
but I took those off.
You really did a Wars on her sign for us. And she also put pictures of her kids on, but I did those off. You really did a number on her sign.
I think it looks better. It's an upgrade.
It was too busy before.
Fair enough.
Jeff?
I play for Brandon of
the Planet of the Apes.
Brandon of
the Planet of the Apes.
Brandon.
I think you did a good job with that poster right yeah there's uh it's a picture from the movie i am one of the monkey faces or my
face is on a monkey and uh there was a sam levine monkey sam levine monkey and there was also 20
dollars taped to it oh what Where'd the money go?
What happened to the money?
I'm gonna go to Chipotle later
and get one of those famous San Francisco burritos
I hear about.
We do eat coli better than any city.
Great way to drop a few pounds
over the New Year's weekend, by the way.
That's what I'm shooting for, right?
Gotta get rid of that freshman 15.
Chad, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Sam.
I'd like to apologize to everyone that put a lot of effort into theirs.
I ran upstairs and ended up with this piece of shit,
but I'm just kidding.
Well, at least the balcony is represented.
It was just the first one that I got to.
I know you had donuts.
I'm a little furious about that right now.
No, I don't.
He looks very happy eating them.
Yeah, I'm playing for Sam, so thanks.
Okay.
The Force Awakens, Sam Wars.
Do you have a favorite Will Smith movie?
I liked The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Will, have you not seen?
Whatever it is you're gonna say
We haven't seen it
I would have to say
I don't know
Hitch
Tell the truth
What's the new one called
Where he's the South African doctor
Concussion
He's got the concussion man
That one.
Oscar time.
I'm pretending to be from another
country.
He does a great daily
show host impersonation on that movie.
Really?
Fucking peanut gallery?
You guys were all over the place?
Oh, I remember that from earlier.
I had to write that one down.
All right, we're going to start with a game called How Much Did This Shit Make?
It's just a game where you have to take turns bidding
on how much you think the movie in question made.
Next August, I intend to interrupt right here
the San Francisco treat
I mean at the Castro Theater
not here, but in this city
The Rock
I think it's August 13th
but it's not on sale yet
but I'm telling you guys now
just so you know
Eight short months to get your shit together
She's gonna run and get a ticket right now
Be back in seven months just so you know. Yeah, she's going to run. Eight short months to get your shit together. She's going to run and get a ticket right now.
Be back in seven months.
We'll see you over there.
So the question is,
and we'll start with you, Greg.
How much correct?
How much do you think The Rock made at the domestic box office according to boxofficemojo.com?
I'm talking the Sean Connery.
Without going over.
Defying the Sean Connery movie?
Yes.
Well, the Sean Connery movie.
I don't know.
120 million.
120 mil.
Okay.
That's an adjusted, you know, inflated dollars.
We don't inflate or adjust, but...
Those are in Deutschmarks.
If they're transferred into Hong Kong money
and then back into Swiss francs.
No, just 120 million American dollars.
You know, Donald Trump, Nazi,
make America great dollars.
Those kind of dollars.
Jacob?
I'm going to go $148 million.
$148.
All right.
Jeff?
$96 million.
Dollars or beads or?
Dollars. Deutschmarks. And then they switch it over to whatever you said dollars or beads or dollars?
Deutschmarks.
And then they switch it over to whatever you said
and then back to whatever you said again.
And then into dollars.
Then piasters and sesterces.
Okay, Chad.
100 million.
You motherfucker.
That was my guess from the get-go.
Well, nice grouping, you guys.
You really kept your bids all in a pretty tight range.
And so only one of you can win.
So the closest without going over,
the actual amount it made is $134 million.
So Greg Proops wins this particular
game
and gets to go first
in, of all games,
whose tagline
is it anyway?
Wayne Brady's.
It's a very fun new game where
I say a tagline from a motion picture.
It's usually from the poster.
Sometimes it's made up by some nutcase who got on IMDB and made up a tagline.
Sometimes I get the wrong tagline from the wrong...
I don't get the movie right.
I write it down wrong.
So any of those things could happen.
And I'll start with you, Greg. down wrong. So any of those things could happen. And
I'll start with you, Greg, and I'll read you the tagline.
You just guess what movie you think it's from.
If Greg cannot guess correctly
the name of the movie, then it'll move on to you,
Jacob. So be ready to
steal, as it were.
That was from Field of Dreams.
Be ready to steal, as it were. That was from Field of Dreams. Be ready to steal, as it were.
Greg.
Jackie Robinson comes to the major leagues in 42.
Be ready to steal, as it were.
What movie has the tagline,
the one night anything is possible?
I'm just going to take a wild stab because I don't know what it is.
Fright Night?
That is incorrect.
That is incorrect. That is incorrect.
Do I get a chance to...
Jacob gets to guess now.
I'm going to say it's New Year's Eve.
And Jacob is correct.
Sweater bum.
I didn't know there was a movie called New Year's Eve.
Yeah, it's one of those Gary Marshall joints
that he did after the wild success of Valentine's Day.
It was a prequel.
And it was on TBS.
New Year's Eve was on TBS this very afternoon.
And I thought, God damn, that is so smart.
The residuals, you may not get any artistic respect,
but the residuals from being in one of those things,
that's going to roll in every year.
Because what other movies can you show on New Year's Eve?
Strange Days.
200 Cigarettes.
That does sound like a New Year's Eve.
It has confetti at one point.
200 Cigarettes takes place on New Year's Eve?
Yeah.
Okay.
So what a festival we are having.
Some real terrific films.
You know,
the Padres happened on Buddha Eve.
So that I guess episode one.
I don't know.
All right.
This next one goes to Jeff.
Jeff gets first stab at it.
Then we'll go to Chad.
What movie has the tagline
one truth, one hate?
One truth, one hate.
Hate?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
that's what it is.
That's an insanely bad tagline.
One truth, one hate.
Uh-huh.
Spotlight.
That's not the answer.
That's the thing.
A movie like Spotlight probably doesn't have a tagline.
You know what I mean? Oh no, I was just saying the spotlight is right there. That was not my guess.
My guess is Episode 1, The Phantom Menace.
That's correct. The tagline for Spotlight could be
When Justice Touches Back.
when justice touches back.
Chad, do you know what One Truth, One Hate would be for?
Is there a movie called Marriage?
One Truth, One Hate. It was a Garry Marshall movie.
It's the prequel to Divorce.
I don't.
Huh?
You're passing?
Hitch.
No.
That's not it.
Greg?
The Babadook.
I'm not guessing.
All right, Jacob, you got one last crack at it.
American History X.
No, it's funny that neither you or Greg got this one
because it was Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace.
You know what?
You said it.
He said it. Who did? You said it. He said it.
Who did?
Jeff said it.
What did he say?
Yeah, and I said that's correct.
No, he guessed Spotlight and then changed his mind.
It was a second guess.
I thought he said Spotlight.
He did, and then he did the joke.
And then he said?
Then he did say it.
No, no.
Well, listen, I'm going to, hold on.
Right now, I want to make it very clear.
Also, that's not from the American campaign.
I want to make it very clear that I had no idea that was it
and I thought I was making a wild ass funny guess.
And I did not know that that was it.
And I do not feel like, I don't want it.
Oh, I got it, I mean, I got it.
It was an accident. I didn't mean to...
Yeah, I was too busy dwelling on
Spotlight to hear what he said after that, and that
was also, to me, that even
though it was kind of a joke answer,
it also could
be the tagline for Spotlight.
Not
really, but...
That really is a tagline to the Phantom Menace but it
really was there was like a Japan I guess well I don't know what I don't
know where was the American tagline was every saga has a beginning that was a
Japanese campaign that they read only but one truth one hate well they had all
these there's like four or five ones for me to choose from but most of them were
stuff that said things like a galaxy far away
or George Lucas or some shit like that.
No, every saga has a beginning.
It's funny, when I was working on the movie,
I remember George coming up to me and saying,
you know, Greg, one troops, one hate.
And I didn't believe him at the time,
but now it's come home like a bitch.
We'll start with Jeff again for this next one.
What movie had the tagline,
Hell Upside Down?
Is this for me?
No, this is for Jeff Tate.
The Cabin Down Below. Wait, The Cabin Down Below.
Wait, The Cabin in the Woods.
Cabin Down Below is a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers song.
Cabin in the Woods.
Incorrect.
Spotlight.
Still incorrect.
Chad.
Hell, upside down.
Karate Kid.
I'm not trying to be funny.
I don't know what it is.
Greg.
I want to give a joke one, but I want to get it right.
Get it right.
Poseidon Adventure?
That's correct.
For the listeners at home, Greg's doing the cabbage patch right now.
But my joke answer was Britney Spears and Crossroads.
Because that was hell upside down.
I didn't have a joke answer or a real answer,
so I'm glad you got it.
Next up, for Jacob.
This is the entire tagline.
Mayday.
Mayday.
Mayday.
You okay?
Mayday.
Get this man some water.
Any ideas?
Ah, fuck.
Mayday.
Let me try a different read on it
Mayday
Can you use it in a sentence?
April's almost over
I guess
Dead Calm
Dead Calm?
Yeah
That's not a bad guess
Good movie Who's next? Jeff? Dead Calm. Dead Calm? Yeah. That's not a bad guess.
Good movie.
Who's next, Jeff?
Oh, incorrect.
Okay.
You never said it.
I guess good guess doesn't mean right. Yeah.
Alex, ever say how Jeff reads it?
That's not a bad guess.
Incorrect.
Alex Trebek rarely gives
commentary on the answers.
He keeps it tight.
Is it Airport 77?
Good guess.
Was that better?
Yeah. I like it
spelled out. I'm going to get the hang
of this eventually. Chad.
Top Gun. Not right.
I had to look at it again. Wait a second. Chad. Top Gun. Not right. Hey,
I had to look at it again.
Like, wait a second.
Maybe he's right.
And did you already
get a crack at it, Greg?
I haven't, yes.
Oh, no.
What's your guess?
Is Top Gun wrong?
Yes.
Memphis Belle?
No.
Is the remake
of the Poseidon Adventure
just simply called Poseidon?
There's no more adventure. Mayday.
All right, one more really quick.
Let's start with Jacob again.
Jacob, the greatest adventure story ever filmed
is not yet over.
How about the never-ending story?
That's the grandiose tagline.
Nope.
Not never ending story.
Two.
What the fuck?
Your Siri just went off.
Your Siri's going off down there.
She heckled.
She said,
sorry I didn't get that.
She's heckling me.
My own phone.
That is what she said.
That's pretty wild.
Like your phone just joined in.
Like, ha ha, Jake, you fucking moron.
Take that sweater off.
You haven't earned it.
Is it my turn?
Yeah.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Oh, that would be
great adventure story.
It's not yet over.
Nope.
Greatest Adventure Story ever filmed.
It's not yet over.
Spotlight.
He told me to say that.
I'm going to say Gulliver's Travels.
I want you to know I'm horrible at this,
but when we get to the parent round,
I'm going to fucking clean'm horrible at this, but when we get to the parent round, I'm gonna fucking clean up.
Okay, what movie, this is just for you, what movie had the tagline, uh-oh?
So I'm not gonna clean up?
Kung Fu Panda.
Parent Trap.
Minions.
SpaghettiOs.
But the greatest adventure story ever filmed. Kung Fu Panda. Parent Trap. Minions. SpaghettiOs.
But the greatest adventure story ever filmed...
The Revenge of the Sith.
It's not yet over.
Beyond the Poseidon Adventure.
Oh, you fucking asshole.
Chad, will you drop your mic now, please?
Mine's in good shape.
I don't want to...
So Greg and Jacob sort of won that game
because they each
got one right
so we didn't really
how is the Poseidon
adventure the greatest
adventure ever filmed
Mimo and Otis
is the greatest
adventure ever filmed
thank you
and that's never over
it's not over
until Otis says it's over
more than Homeward Bound do you like that one yeah Homeward Bound And that's never over. It's not over until Otis says it's over.
That was like 30 years ago. More than Homeward Bound?
Do you like that one?
Yeah, Homeward Bound.
That's the greatest
adventure story of her film.
The one with the dog.
The one with the dog.
The dog and the cat.
Did that have a dog?
It's not the one
with the dog.
I'm allergic to dog.
Is that about me?
Did I say it like that?
The one with the dog.
What's up buddy?
Poseidon Adventure.
Now what? Play another game.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I was just checking in with Jeff.
I didn't know you seemed to be in a weird place.
I'm fine.
I apparently ran out of breath during my...
Was that movie about a dog?
Are you talking about the movie about a dog?
That's what I meant to say.
What movie is that?
Milo and Otis.
It was a dog and a cat.
Dog and a cat.
They had adventures up and down
the countryside.
That was the greatest adventure
ever filmed.
Well, you know it's going to be a great adventure
when a bunch of men stand around
filming kittens in a basket being thrown off a cliff. you ever filmed. Yeah. Well, you know, it's going to be a great adventure when a bunch of men stand around filming
kittens in a basket
being thrown off a cliff.
I rest my case.
It wasn't only
the movie with the dog,
it was the movie
with the kittens.
Oh, it's brutal.
Yeah, but check it out.
It's very funny.
The funniest adventure ever filmed.
Dudley Moore does all the voices.
And he kind of narrates it as well.
And it's really...
It's unbelievable that people made it.
They should remake that Poseidon movie
with dogs and cats this time.
That'd be pretty rad.
That's not a terrible idea, and I bet you it's already
on the internet.
There's no new ideas anymore.
Last Man Stanton is what I would like
to play.
And this is
this has been very exciting.
We have a new wrinkle in the Last Man Stanton game
where the person who you're playing for,
the person whose name tag you chose,
is your lifeline.
If you run out of answers
and you just want to reach out to that person
and jumpstart your position in the game,
you can do it one time.
So if you're being played for,
get your brain ready
to come up with an answer if they need you.
And why wouldn't they need you?
We always run out eventually,
so you're always going to get called on.
Unless the person
just blurts out
something that's wrong,
then you'll be safe.
You won't get called on.
So don't be too scared.
There is that chance.
You guys know
how this game works, right?
We take turns
saying the names
of the films
of an actor or actress
suggested by an audience member.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But you do have the one lifeline
if you want to use it.
And the lifeliner has to give the exact
correct full title
as if they were playing the game
on stage.
That's right.
So if they get it half, we can't finish it?
If they get close?
They have to nail it.
Yeah, don't you dare.
No, they have to suggest to you,
let's be specific,
they have to suggest to you an answer
and then you have to repeat that answer
or change it if you want to.
But hopefully the audience won't help you
to decide to change it
because now I realize everyone's going to groan
when they say it wrong
and then you're going to know that you need to change it.
We'll see what happens.
It's the end of the year.
It's the end of the year.
Let's get crazy.
Let's really go nuts with it.
It's like 2018 in Australia already though.
Oh, cause of leap year?
Yeah.
From the Jewish calendar, it's the year.
Ha!
Thank you, bless you.
Is there a Carl Triolo in the audience today?
Where you at, Carl?
Hey.
Carl, where's Carl? I'm so glad Carl just, you know, takes care of himself now.
He doesn't have to yell that anymore. Now it's more like, Carl, why are you punching that other kid?
Carl Triolo, what do you do for a living? I run brokerage operations for a registered business.
I apologize for losing interest in the middle of that.
I was checking the time and we're in pretty good shape, but I don't think I need to pursue that any further.
Pokerich what?
I don't.
Let's not worry about it.
And what is your suggestion for a name for the Last Man Stanton game?
Richard Gere.
Richard Gere. I like it.
It's perverse.
It's not for the younger players.
Richard Gere. That's the worst.
I can tell you my gears are turning right now.
Trying to think up
some of his titles.
And who would say won that last thing?
We said that, oh, Jacob won,
because he answered the right one first.
So start with you, Jacob, and then we'll go to Greg.
I like to play along, so I'll go third,
then Chad, and then Jeff. And oh Greg. I like to play along. So I'll go third, then Chad, and then
Jeff. And oh, we got some cocktails,
gentlemen. Who ordered cocktails?
Oh, thanks. There you go.
Let's hear it
for the wait staff here at
Cobb's
Comedy.
Very
stealthy. I was doing a club last night.
The cocktail people were talking loudly.
You need sugars with that, honey?
That kind of thing.
Well, you're in Sacramento, right?
How'd you know?
Because you told me.
Oh, because it's the only place
cocktail servers speak loudly.
Everywhere else,
they speak in hushed tones.
It's weird, right?
And then they made fun of,
they gave me a hard time
for making fun of them
for talking too loud.
It's weird.
Like, where'd you learn
to whisper in a sawmill? spotlight is my answer
alright so everybody's had a little time
to think about Richard Gere
and all the great work he's done
and I
hopefully don't need to remind you
that it's just between everybody on stage.
If you think of one, wait till the very end
when I ask for the ones we missed.
And Jacob, start us off.
Okay, let's get a big one off the table.
Officer and a gentleman.
Yeah, let's get that one on the table.
Greg, was that the one you wanted to say? Is it me? Yeah. Oh we're going in this direction now? We're going this way yeah. Counter. Clockwise. Clockwise. Alright.
I'd like to change it up. Okay. American Gigolo.
We're starting with the obvious ones.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So you're telling me to pick an obvious one?
Okay.
If I'm going to go obvious, I'm going to go Chicago.
Chad?
Pretty Woman.
Ha ha ha!
Yeah, buddy.
Yeah, buddy.
Woo!
It was already broken. Sweet! Oh. Sweet.
He did that for a kid with leukemia.
What?
Jeff.
Runaway Bride.
Oh, the sequel.
Well, we're doing obvious ones, right?
Yeah, I've run out of obvious ones, I think.
Nah, well, it depends what you consider obvious.
On me?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, I'm gonna go Breathless.
Oh, okay.
Nice.
Looking for Mr. Goodbar.
Whoa.
I'll take you back.
Okay.
To the dawn of his career.
Okay, how about, um...
Wasn't he in that movie, um...
You know, the one...
No, which one, Doug? Let me double-check. One.
No, which one, Doug?
Let me double check, who are we talking about? Ricky Gere.
Big Dick Gere.
I know, I get it.
I'm gonna say, for Ricky Gere,
I'm gonna go with, fuck.
I'm gonna go with... fuck. Oh, what's...
Days of Heaven, goddammit.
Nice, nice.
One of what, three Terrence Malick movies?
Have you seen the trailer for the new Terrence Malick?
No.
It's fucking crazy. Does it look good?
It's Christian Bale.
Wow.
Yeah.
I mean, you can only imagine what those two get up to.
Whoa, what happened here?
Something happen?
No, I just wanted to drop my mic, but this one looks new.
So I just set it on the ground.
You just laid it down?
I thought of another Richard Gere movie,
so I was happy,
and I thought that's what you're supposed to do.
And I don't know who Terrence Malick is.
Is it my turn?
Yes.
Uh-huh.
I think it's called fear.
Oh, wait a second.
What?
No.
I'm close?
You might be, yeah.
But I don't know to what.
Fear is the...
When somebody else says it, I'll tell you that that was
the one I was thinking of.
Do you want to use your lifeline?
Oh yeah, we're out of the
lifeline situation. Can I, even if I said the wrong thing?
Even if you said the wrong one?
Stay out of it, Jacob.
I'm here to win.
You know what?
Because Chad
admitted earlier that he doesn't understand
anything,
I'm going to
give him this one. But normally, yeah, you should probably not
guess and answer first. You should probably say, I need my
lifeline.
Because fear is definitely, that's Mark Wahlberg
and Reese Witherspoon.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. But there's another movie that Richard
Gears in has a similar title, but we'll leave that one on the table for someone to scoop up. and Reese Witherspoon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But there's another movie that Richard Gere's in
that has a similar title,
but we'll leave that one
on the table
for someone to scoop up.
So where are we at then?
Lifeline.
Oh, the Lifeline.
Sam?
Primal Fear.
What do you say, Chad?
She said Primal Fear. Do you want to go with that? She said primal fear.
Do you want to go with that?
I'd fucking love to.
That is correct.
Yeah, I probably shouldn't allow
him to say part of the title
to help them to figure out which one
and then say it right back.
That doesn't seem right.
But I've always lived by the philosophy
that all fear is primal, so I thought it was accepted.
Hey, Doug, what's to stop them
from using their phones in the drug?
Nothing, but
they're just going to come up with one title.
How much good is that
really going to do you in the long run?
I don't even use a lifeline
wasn't this your game that you put a new wrinkle in
yeah
isn't it fun
you just disavowed any knowledge
of the new wrinkle that you put in
no it can work sometimes
well we all have that hope
in our heart
it's happened we just saw it happen she gave him the right answer it can work sometimes. Well, we all have that hope in our heart. Yeah.
It's happened.
People, we just saw it happen.
She gave him the right answer,
but now he's got to think of another Richard Gere by the time it gets around to him.
Edith, can you just pull up Richard Gere on your IMDb
so we don't have any fuss when it comes to...
No, I don't need a movie now.
I don't need a movie now.
You don't have a phone?
He already is cheating.
Oh, yeah.
Is that cheating?
Did you say no phones for the crowd?
I don't think they should do that,
because I thought that the blanket don't say no phones for the crowd? I don't think they should do that. Because I thought that the blanket
don't use your phones during the show would also count
during the part where they really shouldn't
use their phones.
Yeah, but you have to assume people are scum.
Yeah, you can't assume.
May I say something real quick?
May I weigh in? Is that okay?
Dr. T and the women.
Yes!
Yeah! Yeah.
Was it your turn?
Yep. That's good.
I just didn't want to forget it because I forgot it
twice already.
And I didn't
want to
I didn't want it to leave again.
Doug, can I say something to the Cotton Club?
Yeah.
Oh, on that.
It's the fucking right answer, dickfaces.
And I'm a fucking native.
How about some support for the local guy?
So angry.
I went to dinner with him last night
and they gave him the wrong noodles.
He called the waiter over,
told him he got him the wrong noodles, and then said, but it's cool, I'll eat it.
What a dick.
Hey, man.
Just to let that guy not sleep at night.
Like, oh, yeah, what'd you get an award for working?
Fuck you. You're wrong.
Well, we had a whole conversation about the noodles.
I know.
The distinction between the different types of noodles.
I mean, he deserved to know he blew that.
I left that part out,
because that part's not funny.
And you know what?
Laurie Kilmartin paid for all of it anyway,
so no harm, no foul.
What?
Why did you yell at the guy for stuff you were going to eat?
Hey, you're just one of those guys who's like,
I'm cool with going with the flow.
I just want everyone to know when they're wrong.
Yeah, absolutely.
Are some people not like that?
No, they're usually just people, they're like my dad.
Is there an inside joke between your crowd and you about your dad?
That seems to strike a nerve.
I'm as baffled at their reaction as you are.
They don't know my dad.
He's just kind of an asshole.
Dr. T and the women. Woo!
Cotton Club.
Ooh.
Mm-mm.
I don't understand the reaction.
It's a good movie.
Cotton Club.
Francis Ford Coppola.
Greg.
Summersbee.
Summersbee.
I love it.
With Jodie Foster?
Yeah.
Yeah. What. Um,
what did he in a film Several.
called
Internal Affairs?
Yes.
Yes.
What one did you say again, Greg?
Summersbee.
Oh, yeah.
Summersbee. Oh yeah. Summersbee!
Bring the car around.
Chad, no more lifeline, buddy.
Yeah, I was gonna try to say something funny,
but I'm just gonna be out.
I'm just going to hang my head.
Opt out.
Opting out of the humor option.
We'll go on to Jeff.
Intersection.
Intersection.
Yeah.
Jacob. Jacob.
It's right.
I'm not arguing with you.
I had internal affairs on deck for a while.
Right? That's a fun one.
I can picture him in like three
fucking movies that I can't think of the name of any of them.
I could tell you the story
and who's in them and stuff.
Diane Lane.
I'm going to buy myself some time here and go to
Edith for the lifeline.
You're going to do what? I'm going to buy myself time to come up with another one
on the next round. Oh, good call, yeah.
Edith, he needs his lifeline.
Do you got one?
Hachi, A Dog's Tail.
Hachi, A Dog's Tail. Hachi, A Dog's Tail.
Do you want to take that one, Jacob?
Yes, do I have to say it?
I think we can all agree that that is the saddest goddamn movie.
Was that even Edith, though?
That's Edith's friend.
You're Edith.
I was trying to get into the next year
without having to think about that movie.
Wow.
Poor dog. Just looks at the train station all day.
First night. There was a joke that went with that movie. Here is Richard Gere's
acting style. Where's my car? Oh, there it is.
He was in Looking for Mr. Goodbar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which was that?
Oh, they did say it?
Yeah.
Let me write it down.
I did that one.
Oh, oh, oh, I got got another one Oh, what the fuck
Oh, you guys
are going to be so impressed
when I break this out
Arbitrage
Wow
Wow, that's impressive.
That's a hard word to pull out of
not knowing for sure what word you're trying to find.
Yeah.
Fucking arbitrage.
Do you know what they call Richard Gere in France?
Arbitrage.
Arbitrage.
Yes.
Richard Gere.
It's funny, I think Richard J
they call him a Royale with cheese
actually in France
what do they call Richard Garrett Burger King
I don't know I give up
I never went to Burger King
yeah that's what you should have done
I'm gonna say Red Corner I don't know. I give up. I never went to Burger King. Yeah, that's what you should have done.
I'm going to say Red Corner.
What?
Red Corner.
He's like a lawyer in China or something.
Like, wow.
Yeah.
Red Corner?
Yeah.
I don't think that's the name of that movie.
I think it would be, actually. I know I'm out, but I'm challenging.
No, I think he's got it.
Who are you, Jacob?
I think I gotta look up Red Corner.
There can only be one comptroller
on the stage at a time.
There's somebody in the audience already says,
Jesus, settle down.
Thanks, dude.
Guy's excited
to check for us.
Yeah, I'm playing for him. Oh, so it's excited to check for us.
Yeah, I'm playing for him.
Oh, so it's important to you.
You got a dog in this hunt.
Did you think of another one, Jacob?
No, I didn't, but I guess I got a few seconds.
Red fucking corner, man.
Damn.
Just keep picturing his fucking hair. Like which movies was that hair in?
Don't do that, you'll end up with Warren Beatty.
Wait, what?
Fuck.
Can I use Jeff's lifeline? He hasn't used it yet.
No!
You out?
Yeah, I'm out.
He's out, Greg.
What's your interest in Jeff?
You're obsessed with Jeff.
No, but you've been obsessed with him
since the show started.
I'm just curious.
He has pictures on my name tag.
Well, I know.
That's part of what I'm getting at. Jacob, some of us have fans. I'm just curious. I'm getting pictures on my name tag. Well, I know. That's part of what I'm getting at.
Jacob, some of us have fans.
I'm having trouble.
You can keep that one.
That one you can have.
You can have that fan.
I don't understand it either,
but he's a fan of mine,
so I was getting uncomfortable.
Is it my turn?
Nope, it is not my turn.
It's Greg's turn.
Golly.
I want to say Gremlins 2
because that was the old joke.
What?
They can't find Gizmo.
No one remembers that joke?
Whose tagline is it anyway?
They're making a sequel to Gremlins
with Richard Gere.
The problem is they can't find Gizmo.
Oh my
God.
It's good. I never heard of it.
It's an old joke. It's good. It's a good one.
No, it's cracker. Marina, I'm gonna
go to you for my lifeline.
Yeah.
Movie 43.
What was it? Movie 43.
Oh, Movie 43.
You throw that movie out,
you're going to have a good chance
to get the correct answer
because there's a shit ton of people in it.
So I'm going to accept that.
Movie 43.
All right, Greg is still in it.
He has a little time to think
while I think for a second.
I'm just trying to share a god
with Richard Gere
and see what Buddha thinks.
He's a Buddhist, you know.
I can picture two fucking movies.
God damn it.
Yeah, he's a Buddhist, but they can't find Krishna.
Oh, fuck, I just got it.
No, really?
Too soon?
Do you think he really
put that gerbil up his butt?
No, no, no.
What's up?
That was Rod Stewart.
But it was David Bowie's gerbil.
Aren't they all, in a way?
Most people don't know about David Bowie's gerbil farm.
He's got a gerbil mill.
He did the theme to gerbil people with Nastassja Kinski.
The Knights of Rodanthe.
Wow.
That's impressive.
That is impressive.
It took you some cogitating,
but you got there on that one.
Is it just me and you,
or is Jeff still in this?
I'm still in.
I'm going to say The Double.
Yeah!
Yeah.
It's a movie about
a secret Russian agent in America.
Topher Grace is also in it.
It's a real fucking movie.
Good for you, man.
All right, I'll accept it.
And I'm out.
Do you have any more, Greg?
I'm trying to think of a...
There's one with Kim Basinger, but isn't that the Primal Fear one?
I'm fishing.
She might have been in that, yeah.
Ed Norton was in Primal Fear.
Oh, right.
He's in, like, 15 thrillers that have the exact same name.
I think I'm out, baby.
Well, you know, he was in Knights of Rodanthe with Diane Lane.
Yeah.
And then he was in
another thing with her.
No, that's not fair.
You just clued me in on it.
No, I know.
You said you were out.
I am out.
I know the name of it now.
Yeah, what's it called?
Betrayal.
No, it's called
some fucking thing.
Unfucking faithful.
That's what it's called.
Betrayal.
What else did we miss
Mr. Jones
The Mothman Prophecies
The Mothman
Richard Guerin
which one
he already did Chicago
The Jackal
The Jackal the guy's so mad about The Jackal did Chicago. The Jackal! The Jackal!
The guy's so mad about the Jackal.
God damn it, the Jackal.
The Jackal!
Jackal!
Well, that is so much fun when that happens.
When people have ones that we don't get to.
Unfaithful shit.
I know.
I kept thinking betrayal.
I know, but betrayal's the other one.
I was like, it was un-something.
Ben Kingsley's in betrayal.
Un-adulterer.
I couldn't.
But I'm glad I pulled Rodanth out.
Diane Lane has some cool scenes
in a coffee shop in that movie.
Unfaithful.
Well, you won there, Jeff.
So, uh...
Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! You're a guy that's obsessed with you.
Why don't you come get these prize bags for him
and take them over to him?
Yep.
Because we don't want him on the stage.
Hey, Jeff, why don't you throw that to him?
Because Selena had a fan, too.
There, I think everything's...
Hey, you put that down. What is that? too. I think everything's... Jeff, we really got to wrap it up.
So what do you got to plug there,
Chad Daniels?
Oh, hey, 2016, I'll be performing.
Chad Daniels.
Look for him by name
Jeff
JeffTate96 on Twitter
JustAnotherClown.com
I'm going to be in Cincinnati, Seattle
Albuquerque, Tucson
all in January
check it out
Jacob Seroff I'll be back here in San Francisco for San Francisco Sketch Fest Check it out. Jacob Searoff.
I'll be back here in San Francisco
for San Francisco Sketch Fest,
doing like a Weezer theme to show on the 16th of January.
So check that out.
I have a podcast called The Smartest Man in the World,
and I have a book out called The Smartest Book in the World,
and I have a record out, a new record called In the World and I have a new record out called In the Ballpark.
You can get them all at gregproops.com.
Also, check out The Phantom Menace.
Available on iTunes
and Blu-ray.
I don't receive a lot of fiscal remuneration
for The Phantom Menace, so I prefer you buy the book first.
Thank you, Greg Proops
and all of my guests, all of my shits
at douglosemovies.com
Hashtag this episode with
fucking peanut gallery.
Hashtag fucking peanut gallery.
Thank you to Cobbs. Thank you to
all you guys for coming out.
I'll see some of you out on the
sidewalk, I'm sure.
And as always,
Now it's time for Doug to watch it go. and as always as always
unnecessary movie remakes
are a shithead
petulant in-laws
to ruin your plans at the last minute
are a shithead
and parking is a shithead