Doug Loves Movies - Guy Branum, Jesse Joyce and Arden Myrin guest
Episode Date: September 11, 2023Doug welcomes Guy Branum, Jesse Joyce and Arden Myrin to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-inf...o.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
there's still not one that he won't see cause Doug loves movies
hey hey hey everybody my name is Doug and I love movies this is Doug loves movies
coming to you from various places recorded oned on Sunday, September 10th, 2023.
Kingsman, The Golden Circle of Friends with Benefits of Wonderful Life,
as we know it could happen to you.
Only live twice in a lifetime.
Cop and a half.
Nelson of Rambo, First Blood, Part 2 for the road.
House sitter...
Excuse me.
House sitterminator.
Two judgment day.
Dazed and confused.
All right.
I got through it.
Okay.
My guests today are all returning champs, I think.
Yeah, I think that's right.
They are Guy, Brandon, Jesse, Joyce, and Arden Marine.
Yeah.
Hello.
What?
Thanks for having us.
Yay.
Those aren't even hard names to say, and I just stumbled through it.
You did great.
Let's meet everybody individually and alphabetically by first name.
and alphabetically by first name.
She's a champion
and the host of
Will You Accept This Rose?
A podcast I appear on frequently.
It's Petite Flower
Art and Marine.
Hi, Doug. Thank you so much for having me back.
Thanks for being back
wherever you are.
I hear it's in the east.
I'm in New York City and it was raining today,
which was very exciting. That's fun. Weather's fun. I talked about you all weekend last weekend,
I have to say, because I went to on your recommendation. I went to La Quinta Hotel
and it was fantastic. And I totally was felt I only went because you loved it.
it was fantastic and i totally was felt i only went because you loved it oh my god isn't it great it was so magical the history of it was so cool and they have like 41 pools yeah it's pool crazy
over there like it's somebody is annoying by the pool you just you know walk a few feet to another
pool it was great. Frank Capra wrote It's a Wonderful Life on the property.
And then Greta Garbo had her own space.
Did you go look at Greta Garbo's area?
I did not.
And I kept looking it up.
I got there really late and I wanted to and I want to go back.
But I did.
But also I found out that Judy Garland apparently got whisked away there after she lost the Oscar because people were afraid of what she was going to do.
Oh, yeah, that's a good.
That's a good place.
And Ginger Rogers got married there.
Oh, it just it's endless.
The stuff that goes on out there because, you know, Palm Springs was such a, you know, destination for all the showbiz types in L.A.
when they wanted to get away and act fancy, but in very hot weather.
So cool.
But yeah, so La Quinta, you know, everybody, when you say it, you think of that chain of hotels,
it's, you know, let's face it, they're not like five-star hotels. This is not affiliated with
that. This is in fact now a a it's a Waldorf Astoria.
Is it?
Yeah, it's Waldorf Astoria.
It smells rich.
It smelled rich.
I think I got a discount because it was like Labor Day weekend, which is like 188 degrees.
So I think it smelled like money.
So, yeah, that makes sense.
When it's uninhabitable, the rate comes down.
Yeah, that's how I was there.
But when you walked into the lobby, it literally smelled rich.
Well, thank you for being wherever you are, Arden.
And we'll tell everybody at the end of the show about all your upcoming tour dates.
I know you got some shows out there on the East Coast.
Thank you, sir.
That sounds great.
He won the last live show that we did with an audience down in brea
california it's guy brandon hello guy hello good to be here after i was extremely late to the live
show in brea i whisked myself to palm springs and recovered there much like Judy Garland after the loss of the Oscar.
It's so true.
It's a really, it's a nice hang out there in Palm Springs.
I think, you know, I went to the Palm Springs Film Festival for the first time this last January of all times of year, January.
So it was like actually like some nights it was actually like cold out, you know, but
I guess all the hotels are cheaper. So that's a good time to have a film festival. january so it's like actually like some nights it was actually like cold out you know but i guess
all the hotels are cheaper so that's a good time to have a film festival also the palm springs film
festival puts itself squarely in the middle of oscar season and so they always get one good get
they always offer like a lifetime achievement award to somebody who is on the campaign trail
so you get like you know emma stone doing 45 minutes of good comedy yeah
no it's true they got uh this last year i i didn't see that particular event but uh
they i think they gave it to uh kate blanchett
but i like to i get to see a screening of 80 for brady where all four of those ladies
uh came out after and did a
q a and it was one of the best things i've ever seen wow that's so fun yeah to sit through an
okay movie to see an amazing that's all star yeah no and they're all really funny especially
who knew sally field was such a weirdo? Oh, I didn't. She is?
Yes.
No, she's fun.
She's really fun.
She plays such serious characters all the time.
She's such a killjoy in Mrs. Doubtfire.
But then, in real life, she's a sweetie.
Wow, that's cool.
Also, he was kind of an out-of-control dad in that in that movie okay so my point is this
uh we have a third guest to introduce another returning champ from last week's show it's jesse
joyce hello jesse hey guys how are you yeah it was very confusing to not know that you and arden
had spoken about a specific la quinta because
right you guys just both gushing about like which you know i spent the early part of a
alcoholic road comedy career in various la quintas throughout the game it was like i don't remember
them being quite as nice or historic as you guys are describing we love the la quinta chain yeah
yeah it's like it's a good place to like go around when you're too drunk to drive to a 7-eleven to like scavenge uh uh what's left of people's trays outside their
room to make a sandwich i used to do that a lot but but you know it wasn't matching up with what
arden was describing her experience yeah multiple tools got married there yeah Yeah. So, yeah, it was very confusing.
And it's got to be something.
Something awesome must have been written in a La Quinta at some point, you know, like maybe, you know, maybe maybe that guy wrote Boondock Saints there or something.
So I probably wrote roast jokes for the Charlie Sheen roast in Olikinto.
There you go.
That counts.
That counts.
That really counts.
Okay.
That's a great contribution to pop culture.
Yeah.
Before we start the games portion of the show today, I'd like to ask each of you what I've been asking everybody
every week, and that is
to please recommend
one movie,
Art and Marine.
What have you got for us?
Okay. In honor of
everybody, like,
Greta Gerwig is so cool.
And in honor of being in New York,
I love moments of time for like that,
where the love of your life is your best friend.
So, you know, whether it's a super bad for guys or like a book smart,
I love her movie, Francis Ha, where I felt that way with my best friends,
like around like high school and college where,
and then when one person sort of falls in love and moves on, and sort of how jealous and devastating
it can be. I think there's a real window in time where like the main love of your life is your very
best friend and how important my female friendships were to me and also how complicated it is to sort
of growing up that that's not forever.
And I think Francis hop much like book smart or super bad.
I think it's a really great movie about that.
And it's sort of a smaller black and white movie.
She's in it.
Did she direct it,
Doug?
I think she did.
Didn't she?
She might not have maybe.
I think she co-wrote it with Bambach and he,
I think he might've directed it.
I just loved it.
I feel like Lady Bird was her directorial debut.
Okay.
She's just so wonderful in it.
And I think she's so cool.
And just sort of a shout out to her as a performer and to New York as a city.
I loved it.
I don't think there's any, you know,
I think her talent knows no bounds based on like the three films she's directed and the other things she's, you know, written and acted in.
Like, she's just, she's incredible.
Like, and now the, you know, all the records that Barbie's breaking, like, you know, making her like the number one.
It's so cool.
The number one woman to ever set foot on a movie set it's so cool i love it and
and it seems like she seems like a nice person and um she seems fun and so that's like a smaller
movie and don't you know i highly recommend it's really a cool movie i loved it all right
we ran out of time for the other two people to... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
No, you seemed very prepared for that. Did you think about it before?
I did. I like to prepare. I care about you, Doug.
What if I'd asked this? Because sometimes I'll ask for movies from a specific category. Would you have just tried to wedge it in?
No, I like to do well by you. I i would not i would have given you the right answer well this was the
correct answer i'll say that's for sure uh because because it is one that people might not have uh
gotten to see or heard about because she's suddenly blown up so much um all right. Let's move on to Guy Branum.
First, I would just like to say Greta Gerwig, our greatest Sacramentan.
Like in the luminous, like celestial skyscape of Sacramentans, like Greta Gerwig, our brightest star.
star um but i i saw like on on the subject of like adolescent like younger friendships being your primary relationship um i saw bottoms this week i want to see that i want to see that like
arden you're you're really gonna enjoy it just because it has the kind of big weird energy that
you love yeah you know it like at the beginning of it i was like wait a second is
does this movie not know what its its tone is and then i realized that they were making an entirely
new kind of high school movie that um like just sort of has this like broad almost like like
zucker brothers approach to high school that was sort of like big and broad the like the football players
are in their uniforms at every moment it's just sort of like it is a broad fun burlesque of of
high school as sort of like um like like institution for making us be excited about men's
bodies and what that means so fun or for two queer girls in
that situation it was so much fun like it was ridiculous and stupid and like emma seligman
and rachel senate and iota buri like i i'm so excited that these people are collaborating and
i hope they continue collaborating like i the the short shiva baby i thought was really good
the feature i didn't love
as much but this really shows what they can do i can't wait to see it yeah rachel sent it i saw it
a few days ago and rachel said it is just she is so damn funny like uh non-stop and then the whole
movie is very uh very engaging because it does it is like this weird uh you know it is like an 80s
comedy but through this strange but also you know more current lens that's so it's uh it's
it's very entertaining and you know and here's my one liner to get you know men who are like
what what were all those women's names you were throwing around to get men to go? All you have to say is it's two girls in high school start a fight club.
So fun. So that's all you need to know. That's how I'm sure that's how they got it financed.
Cause I was like, who wouldn't want to see that? I was like, who is this very funny actor? Is this
a comedian I haven't seen before? And then at the end i saw it was marshall lynch who i know is a sports person and i was like good for him oh my god he is so funny
in it he's been really funny a few things like he was in he was in an episode of that show
murderville where different celebrities are like the only person who doesn't know what's going on
in a murder case with with will arnett and uh he's
really funny in his episode he's just really come across as this hilarious character and what's his
sport that he plays he's a football player and he but he's but he's like the uh uh he's a teacher
at the school but he's you know i um they ask him to be the um you know chaperone or whatever they call it for
their club i love it i can't wait to watch i can't wait it's very funny movie uh uh in theaters now
probably independently made i don't i don't know who's getting the money from it at this point but
it's still great um okay jesse yo uh all right so but consistently i'm a history dork right so
uh i'm gonna go with uh anthropoid have you guys ever seen that no it's like four or five years
old it's fucking amazing it's um uh and i just went to prague like a month ago with my brother
and we went saw this place it so anthropoid was this is the name of
the mission in where the czech resistance fighters in world war ii uh they successfully
killed the highest they assassinated the highest ranking nazi in the nazi party right like it's the
highest profile assassination in all of world war ii is the third highest. This guy, Heinrich something. Anyway, it's amazing.
It's like a really gritty.
It's Cillian Murphy and Jamie Dornan play the two Czech resistance fighters.
They're real guys.
And then they kill the guy, and then they have to hide out in a church.
And the Catholic Church protected them for like 30 days.
And then the Nazis found out where they were, and there was a huge standoff.
And it was like the Alamo, and they held this church for like 10 hours it's an amazing story
and you can go to that church and the whole basement is now like a like a museum you know
and they have all the stuff there and the outside of the church is just riddled with bullet holes
it's really it's pretty cool it's an amazing story so what's it called again anthropoid okay
it's from like 2015 or 2016 it's a great it's a
really i'm shocked it's not like a movie everybody saw because it's such an easy uh the name just
rolls off the tongue it's honest to god i had to look it up right before i said it because
it is such a confusing name but that's what the mission was called so i think that's why more
people haven't seen it so if you just say like yeah killian murphy world war ii movie more people would
have seen it i think so i think so yeah but it's also you know it fits into like uh you know i
learned a couple years ago that uh that a lot of movies a lot more movies start with letters
towards the beginning of the alphabet just because
people want their movie to be have a shot at coming up early if people are just scrolling
through movie titles oh interesting i would have thought that would have been more of a blockbuster
video strategy you know what i mean like it should have been something that was done 25 years ago
when they were putting shit on shelves but alright interesting because at least there
it's alphabetized by category but like
sometimes when you're looking for a movie on demand
it's just this long ass list of titles
by alphabet so
you know Anthropoid's really
gonna be seen by more eyes than
than a movie called Xenophobe
a lot of people don't realize
that Arachnophobia's original title was Zoinks Too Many
Spiders.
They realized that that was bad business.
Points!
Points!
Zoinks!
Good old Zoinks.
Thank you for those recommendations.
Those are three interesting movies, one of which I will have to check out, I guess.
And we have to take a break.
We're going to be right back with some games after this.
We are back.
And these are three terrific contestants we have here today.
So I expect these games to be very competitive
and for people to actually maybe know an answer or two.
Because I've been told the games are getting very difficult lately.
And I love it.
They were last week.
You won.
But yeah, barely.
I barely won.
I barely won.
All right. Well, we'll I barely won. All right.
Well, we'll see how you do this week.
And the first game we're going to play today is called Sweet 17.
Because, not for some pervy reason, it's because Douglas Movies is celebrating 17 years.
Wow.
blows movies is celebrating 17 years with a special taping this saturday september 16th at dynasty typewriter in los angeles at 4 20 in the afternoon with uh three of the of not only
most frequent guests but the most early guests including the first guest ever to be on the show. That's Brian Postain along with Kate
Micucci and Paul F. Tompkins.
Fun!
All stars!
It won't be as good as this
group right here, but it's pretty good.
No, no.
You know what I mean? I hate
it when on talk shows,
the host will sit there and go,
coming up next week, somebody famous, big round of go coming up next week somebody famous big round of
applause and then somebody else big round of applause all right but tonight we've got you
know and then somebody has to come out yeah hey guys it's me sorry throughout my career i've been
pegged as the poor man's kate mccoochie and i've come to accept that i was trying to figure out
which one i would be. Brian Hussein?
Well, I say their names mostly because of their history with the show,
but the three of you also have been very frequent guests.
So anyway, that's what inspired the name of this game,
is just the expression Sweet 17.
I'll say a fun fact, or a fact, and then you tell me.
Wait, did you just devote it from a fun fact to just a fact?
So we can't guarantee they're all fun?
There's no reason to, you know, I usually say fun or otherwise, you know,
because, you know, I can't guarantee fun in just a fact about a movie.
But it'll be fun trying to figure out the answer because you're three options all right for each one of these are three answers either the movie
called 1917 or 17 again or edge of 17. Okay.
Yeah.
You wouldn't think that these movies would have too much in common,
but you're still going to have to figure out which one specifically has the fun or otherwise fact that I say about it to be true.
We'll start with Arden.
Yes.
If she misses, then Guy gets to choose between two potential answers.
And if he misses, then Jesse will get the gimme point.
Each time somebody gets one right, we'll just start with the next person on the next round.
You ready, Arden?
Yep, I'm ready.
Okay.
Which one of these films?
1917, the one-shot war movie. 1917 again with Zac Efron, or Edge of Seventeen with Haley Steinfeld,
which one has a character named Ned in it?
Which one was the Zac Efron one?
That would be called 17 Again.
I'm going 17 Again, Doug.
Why do you say 17 Again, Arden?
Because I feel like they'd be like picking on Ned.
He feels kind of like a bully, Zac Efron.
Oh, you think Ned is like, yeah.
They'd be like, fucking Ned.
Ned's a tool. damn ned oh you're
gonna deal with ned that's why that's why they'd name him ned in the screenplay right because
everybody knows it's fucking ned uh ned yeah uh played by our friend thomas lennon in 17 again. Woo! That is correct.
Don't let him listen
to this episode.
All right.
Arden's on the board.
Guy's up next.
What do you think of this fact, Guy?
Has the same
cinematographer as
the motion picture
1984 from
1984.
Okay.
So
I'm going to say 1917
because I don't know, it's British.
And I would assume you care about the cinematographer more than you do on these other comedies.
But as we learn from that movie where, oh, cool as ice, sometimes you have a guy who shoots war movies and high school coming of age films. Okay, yes, 1917.
list. Wow. We did learn that.
We learned that at the
Benson movie interruption
last month
at Dicey
Typewriter.
All right.
That is correct.
Yay.
Wow. Good job. Good job.
That's how you do it.
Roger Deakins not only was a cinematographer in 1917,
but also 1984 and Blade Runner 2049.
Nice.
If a movie's got a fucking year,
the full outblown year,
the time Roger Deakins wants to shoot it.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
He's the man for the job.
But that 1917 1917 that was
that movie where sam mendes directed it and it was like you know all like one shot but also
a freaking war movie so very uh very intense honestly stunned stunned that there were no
neds in that movie there were like so many men i didn't you know any movie is eligible to have
somebody named ned in it, so I don't know
how hard I figured that one out.
I just channeled it.
I just put, I just, I methoded it.
Yeah. Well, Jesse,
now you get the third and final
fun fact,
and it's not fun
at all, but
if you get this, it
forces a three-way tie. We'll have to settle it, but if you get this it forces a three-way tie we'll have to settle it but if you
don't we will have a two-way tie or no we'll see if arden can guess it and if she doesn't get it
then guy wins all right here we go jesse yeah uh which one of those films is one hour and 44 minutes long?
I'm going to go with 1917 again.
You like 1917?
Good guess.
Yeah, just because that seems a little long
for a comedy thing.
Which is how people describe
Edge of Seventeen and Seventeen Again.
Yeah.
As classic comedy things.
I knew who Richard Deakins was, by the way.
Oh.
Yeah, but I don't get by the way. Oh. Yeah.
But I don't get points for that.
But, yeah.
I think I wrote for the Oscars.
It was?
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
Yeah, sorry.
We were talking over the incorrect noise.
I heard the noise.
Okay.
All right.
So that means we go over to Arden.
You've got two options, Arden.
Which one is an hour and 44 minutes long?
Is it Edge of 17 or 17 again?
I'm going to go with Edge of 17, Doug.
You are?
Yeah.
Why?
Because you haven't picked that yet for any of them.
You think I give each one one shot?
No, I don't.
I actually don't.
I think you sometimes give it all to one movie.
I do sometimes, yes.
Too late for that today.
Okay.
So you're sticking with it?
Yeah, I'm sticking with it.
You're sticking with Edge of Seventeen?
I can't talk you out of it?
Nope.
That is correct.
Yay!
Way to go.
Okay, wow.
You really held firm under pressure there.
A lot of times I can talk people off of the correct answer.
I'm just going with my gut, Doug.
Just going with my gut.
You really felt it.
I did.
You know, the war movies, you know, it's a war movie,
so of course it's longer.
It's like just shy of two hours.
And the other movie, The 17 Again, knows its place and keeps it to a tighter hour and 42 minutes.
Yeah.
But, yeah, our comedy should be about in the 90-minute region.
Yeah.
Another thing that I think Bottoms succeeds at admirably is it's the right length.
That's so good.
Doesn't overstay its welcome.
You know what I did?
Because I'm not as good with numbers as Richard Deakins.
I heard 144 minutes.
Like, that's what my brain did.
So I was like, well, that's way too long.
So, yeah.
But then I realized when you repeat it again it again fuck an hour and 44 minutes that's a very reasonable
amount of time to sit through one of those others so anyway yeah anyway but that's you know that's
the thing about these uh you know game show situations is that the you know the brain will do stuff. And Arden, congratulations,
because your brain pulled off the win.
I can't believe it.
I'm so excited.
Powerful work, powerful work.
Wow, I'm so excited.
And you get to go first on the game
that decides it all today,
our final game that we'll play
right after these words.
We'll be right back.
We are back.
And Arden Marine would not stop talking during the break
about what a great player she is.
That's so true.
And how Guy and Jessie can just eat her dust.
That's exactly right.
So me.
That's so me.
Yeah.
But yes, congratulations, Arden and you won that first game.
Wow.
So that means you get to go first in our next game, which in this particular case, I do think there's an advantage here because if we do get in a tie-breaking situation, you'll get to go first to break the tie.
Oh, my God.
Let's worry about that if and when we get to it.
Thank you so much.
So obedient.
Okay, so here's what we're going to play,
a game I call Purple Rain Man Deluxe Edition.
Purple Rain Man is a game we've been playing on a smaller scale
over the years
where it's basically two
titles mashed up together.
Purple Rain Man is
Purple Rain and Rain Man
become one movie.
So how this game
works is I will
start with you, Arden.
And then we go to jesse and then to guy okay and
arden i will name the third build people okay in a movie mashup title
okay what makes it what makes it deluxe uh that it used to be i would say these and we just do one round and everyone
would yell out when they thought they knew the answer i think but this version is uh more involved
and you'll you'll get to you might guess to guess as many as three times wow that's exciting okay
yeah okay so i'll say the third build people first to you and then you guess from there but okay great
that will probably be difficult okay you know we don't want to spend all day on it so just think
about it and pass if you don't have an answer then we'll go to jesse then to guy then if it
gets back to you arden with no correct answer i'll give you the second build people and these
are in the order the two names are in order of how the title would go
like with the title
Purple Rain Man the top people would be Prince
and
Dustin Hoffman
you get it
it's in your bones
I got it my eyes are closed and I'm channeling
it
Guy Branum plays
this game in his sleep that's so great i love guy brandon i don't
think that's great for his sleep i love everything about guy brandon it really it upsets my i've been
trying to work on my sleep hygiene and i need to focus on not thinking about third build actors i love this all right all right and here we go okay um i think i said all
the rules okay um i think it makes sense too okay here we go here we go third build in this movie
mashup title are rachel mcadams and richard blade
i don't know Rachel McAdams, and Richard Blade.
I don't know who Richard Blade is.
I know who Richard Blaze is.
Oh, that's a person?
Top Chef, Chef.
Okay.
Well, this guy is from Top Knife, and his name is Richard Blade.
Okay, I don't know who Richard Blade is, so I'm going to pass.
Because I don't want to give away any Rachel McAdams movies.
Right. She could be, you know,
let's face it,
the greatest lady actresses end up
third build a lot. All right.
So let's go to
Jesse. Do you have any ideas on this one?
I've never heard of
Richard Blade either.
I'm sorry to Mr. Blade and his family.
I'm sure he's a great actor.
I'm so sorry.
It's not reflective of his work.
I'm unfamiliar with it.
I'm going to pass the guy.
I'm also going to pass.
Alright, back to you, Arden.
Second build.
R.
Jonathan Bennett and Christy
Somers
S-O-M-E-R-S
I have got to pass
right?
holy shit Jesse
these could just be people you went to high school with
I have no idea
that any of these people
agree to agree agree to agree i agree to
agree jesse agree to agree these are just random names to me no i have no idea i'm sorry if i
figured out some of your high school classmates just threw their names out it'd be so great
i went to school with somebody named tara perera all right i would like to i would like to speculate
i believe i've settled what the
first one is, which is going to be
Mean Girls. And the second one,
you've listed a bunch of names of
people I've never heard of, and nothing says
people I've never heard of, like a 1980s
teen comedy. Is the answer
Mean Girls Just Want to Have Fun?
That is
correct. No fucking way.
Wow. Wow. Your loss of sleep really paid That is correct No fucking way Wow
Your loss of sleep
Really paid off
All that training
Really paid off
Call Arianna Huffington and tell her to put it on her sleep
Cycle
Wow
Yeah I was going to try to stop you
From giving away the first half
In case you missed on the second
but i would never miss he's guy brandon music i knew where i was going he's a lawyer he would
never miss well uh you know number one what should have given it away for everybody because
top build and mean girls is of course lindsey lowen yeah and that that jonathan bennett fellow
i guess plays the cute boy in her class that I can't.
He's he's he's gay now and he hosts cupcake shows.
Yeah. Great. Good for him.
Big win. Big win. Good for him.
He's got it all. He's got it all.
I really Richard Blade is a radio DJ who in the Girls Just Want to Have Fun movie
is like the, you know,
they're doing like a live broadcast
of a dance contest at the end of the movie.
That's so funny.
And so I guess he got third billing
because he was like,
they thought he was a celebrity
they were using as a celebrity DJ.
Great. And then this Christy Summers, I can't for the life of me figure out thought they were he was a celebrity they were using as a celebrity dj and then great this
christy summers i can't for the life of me figure out who she is or what she played in the movie
and then uh number one build according to imdb is a comedian who plays like the the high school
coach or something in the movie and his name is biff yeager and i only recognize his name because
uh you know i've been watching stand-up comedy since I was little.
And he used to be on, like, Evening at the Improv.
Wow.
Yeah.
So, but here's the thing.
Girls just want to have fun.
The two leads.
This is where IMDb gets it way wrong sometimes.
The two leads of that motion picture are Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt.
Whoa.
Wow. Yeah. Is it a good movie?
No.
Okay, great.
They just play a couple of girls who
it turns out they don't just want to have fun
but they got the rights to the
Cyndi Lauper song that was a big hit
so they had to say they wanted
to have fun. What they really wanted to do
was win the dance contest. Girls just want girls in the dance contest yeah everybody knows that doesn't have the same ring
to it everybody knows that i think i can say with confidence it's one of richard blade's best movies
but i would like to see richard blaze try his hand at film acting i mean you know what me too
try his hand at film acting i mean you know what me too we all would if i'm he and i could he got i think he got like very into being on camera and kind of got a little bananas he did because i
remember him season one he was sort of like humble and then he then he got really erratic
really wanted to win all stars got like kind of bananas has come back as a chef like judge and
he's like a little like i think fame did not become him and that's just just it's just what
she says yeah don't you think do you watch that guy am i wrong a little bit seeing him be hosting
instead of being chef he makes me a little sad yeah he was so needing to win when he came back
for all stars i'm like just, I understand the competitive spirit.
Just chest your cards a little bit.
You know what I mean?
Just chest it a little bit.
That's all right.
Live and let live.
All right.
So this time for round two.
So guys on the board, congratulations.
For round two, Jesse will start us off.
All right.
Third build in this movie mashup title are John Leguizamo and the aforementioned Sarah Jessica Parker.
Wow.
Yeah, Johnny Legs and SJP.
Wow.
Okay.
Okay.
Third belt,
you say? Yeah.
All right.
Hmm.
Hmm. hmm hmm hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
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hmm
hmm
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hmm
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hmm
hmm
hmm
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hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
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hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm yeah so they're both third built in that so I would be a fool if I brought anybody
yeah
yeah John Leguizamo's third build
in the first movie and Sarah's in the second movie
and the two titles
overlap
okay
shit
I feel like this is within my reach but i'm not yeah if nothing's coming to you they're
both in a lot of movies if no combos coming up just yet uh let's go ahead and yeah i'm gonna
spawn in the city that's all so that doesn't work i give up i give it to Guy alright Guy
you know I honestly just can't think of any
Sarah Jessica Parker movies that start with
Julie Newmar so
I'm gonna have to pass
I have a theory
of what
the second movie is but I do not
know what the first movie is but I could be wrong I have a theory of what the second movie is but i do not know what the first movie is but i could
be wrong i have a theory of what she could be third building but i don't know what and i i'm
sure i'm wrong but i don't know what the first movie is pass okay all right uh so everybody got
a shot at that one right yeah all right so who went first that time? Was it Jesse? I did. Yeah.
Okay.
Here's your second bill, Jesse.
Patrick Swayze and Pierce Brosnan.
Hmm.
So we got Johnny Legs and Patrick Swayze in one and Sarah Jessica Barker and Pierce 007 Brosnan in the second one
uh okay
uh
fuck me
um
god damn again this seems very attainable
there's no like
Richard Blades in this one just like these are people I can
picture immediately yeah right
yeah uh um fuck it's not coming to me i'm going to guide um or is it arden sorry no it's got right
it's good i'm not it's not i'm not the host of this okay unfortunately
i have already like it is very clear that the first movie is too long through thanks for
everything julie newmar um the second one i cannot think uh it uh it's truly got to be some
sort of sarah jessica parker romantic comedy that begins with mar so probably marriage
or married or something like that but i can't think of it so i'm just going to give you two
wong fu thanks for everything miami rhapsody you're such a star your lack of sleep is truly
inspiring no yeah i can i can listen to guy reason his way through me too i'm obsessed with his brain
i'm like i want to put a ring on that brain it's really interesting all right well he's not correct
so what do you think we are in two who think everything jillian new marriage story marrying man? Marriage? No. Okay. Thank you.
Alright, Jesse.
Here's the third build. I mean, top build
people.
Here's the numero unos.
Wesley Snipes
and
Jack Nicholson.
Jack Nicholson.
What the fuck? Who is number one build if he's in a movie. Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson.
What the fuck?
Who is number one build if he's in a movie.
Yeah, I would imagine so.
Yeah.
I just can't think of a single thing
that Jack Nicholson and Pierce Brothers, I would have never
expected them to have been in the same room as each other.
It's an odd trio.
It's an odd trio.
Guy's gonna get it. We know the guy's gonna get get it it's gonna be fun to hear him get it yeah yeah yeah i can't wait i can't wait for guy to win yeah let's just give
it to guy go ahead no no no i i i don't have it it like this is clearly some sort of squishy late 90s, early 2000s kind of comedy.
I just remember there was something called Married to It.
So I'm going to say to Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie, Married to It.
But that's not the answer.
What's the answer?
What's the answer?
The answer is, I mean, to the second movie, what if I said,
because you're absolutely right about the first movie, but what if for the second movie I were to go on to say Glenn Close, Jack Black, Michael J. Fox.
This is the weirdest cast.
Is it an animated movie?
No, no, should be.
Is this the Aristocrats documentary?
No, but it's a word, a title that begins with Mar.
And, oh, also it stars a bunch of little aliens that are green.
Oh, Mars Attacks, Mars of little aliens that are green. Oh, Mars attacks. Mars attacks.
Mars attacks.
To Wong Fu.
To Wong Fu.
Thanks for everything, Julie.
New Mars attacks.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
I feel like he should get it.
I feel like he should get it.
No.
He understood that it was going to be.
He got it.
I would be willing to lose to that point.
I mean, that's so crazy.
I always think of Mars attacks as fundamentally a natalie portman vehicle um right and i forgot natalie yeah i forgot that
sjp was in that i really believe that your sleuthing deserves some kind of credit i really
want you to get some kind of i feel like he's gonna win win the whole thing. So let's play round three and see what happens.
Thanks, John.
This is the one where you get to go first, Arden.
Okay.
Or wait, I'm sorry.
You went first the first time.
So it's unfortunate, but Guy is in the lead and gets to go first. Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
This happens sometimes.
Sure.
Understood.
Then we'll go to you, Arden, and then to Jess. Okay, cool.
I love it. See what happens. Ready?
Yeah. Guy,
here we go.
Third build are
Joseph Gordon
Levitt and Matt
Dillon.
That's fine.
Oh, I pass. Yeah, that's fine.
Oh, I pass.
I have a theory about the second movie.
And I could be wrong.
I don't know what the first movie is, so I'm going to pass.
Jesse?
That brings me something.
Yeah, I got to pass too.
Okay.
These are tough. You know, know because you got a lot of movies to
to flip through with those people but the second names always help out a little bit
guy gets to go first with these names julius styles and owen wil. Watch Guy do his work.
Who was the first one and the second?
Who was the first pair we heard?
First movies got Joseph Gordon-Levitt
and Julia Stiles. Second movies
got Matt Dillon and Owen Wilson.
Tell them the full title, Guy.
All right. Clearly the
first part is 10 Things I Hate About You.
And then
I Oh, you. And then I
Oh, okay. Is it
10 things I hate about you, me, and
Dupree? That is correct.
That is so good.
Just respect to
both Guy Branum, but also
the magical mind of Doug Benson
and marijuana for coming up with
that combination.
Really,
just praise me to Doug and marijuana.
It's incredible.
It's incredible. It's a gift.
Those nerds over on Jeopardy do this too.
They do a movie mashup thing now, and I
accuse Ken Jennings of getting it from me,
but he wouldn't have it.
But congratulations,
Guy Branum.
You did it again.
I'm so sorry that you keep having to deal with me, Doug.
I apologize.
I went into this fully intending to throw it,
and I had two such capable competitors.
I don't want you to throw it.
My competitive instincts took over.
Arden and Jesse, that was powerful work from both of you.
You have to. I want you to play hard
yeah
let me ask you this guy
can you join us for the
show next Saturday
of course
at Dynasty Typewriter
of course
well there you have it everybody
joining Paul F. Tompkins, Brian Poussaint, and Kate Micucci, Guy Branum.
I might just keep inviting people.
Just go nuts.
I've had as many as 13 people on stage for a Douglas movies, so you never know.
But for now, let's say congratulations, Guy Branum.
You get to do your plugs first.
What would you like to promote?
Hey, guys, since there's nothing new coming out, why not go on your on your Max app and watch talk show the game show?
It's so fun.
A show that I did for two years on True TV.
Arden Marine, you were a guest, weren't you?
I sure was.
And I have to say, it's, again, your brain.
It's so fun.
It was such a fun show.
Oh, thanks so much.
Thanks so much.
But it has Doug Loves Movies-ish elements to it, I would say.
I was on with Diablo Cody and Moby.
And you see, guess who won?
Arden has the weirdest rider.
She'll only work with people whose names rhyme and it's uh it's a little limiting but thank god for diablo cody
that'd be a fun married name diablo cody moby yes or if he took her last name and he was Moby Cody. Oh, my God. That would be the best.
Artie Marine, what would you like to promote?
Well, of course, Will You Accept This Rose will be coming back shortly
with The Golden Bachelor, which is 71-year-old senior,
and everybody's over 60, and the ladies are dead gorgeous.
And then we'll be doing Paradise, which will be filmed with Doug. He's a champ. He's a king. And then I'll be doing paradise. Don't you be fun with Doug.
He's a champ.
He's a King.
And then I'm doing a bunch of live shows on the East coast union hall on
September 21st city winery,
Philly,
October 12th city winery boss in October 18th and Bethesda blues and jazz
October 13th.
So you can get all of them at art and marine.com or my Instagram.
Are you trying to tell me Bethesda doesn't have a winery?
I guess no winery,
or maybe they're just not interested.
They're like,
go to the ale house,
go to the jazz house.
How many city wineries do you think there are?
I don't know,
but apparently everybody loves playing them.
So I'm really excited.
And they sound,
it sounds like a fun venue to play.
I'll let you know,
everybody,
people,
people I know who've
played them say it's really fun so i'm excited there's one atlanta i know there's one in new
york so i'm excited well speaking of things that are fun and exciting wait till you hear
about jesse joyce's book tell us tell them all about it oh yeah no i'm happy to uh but before
i do real quick i wouldn't the writers of kimimmel and myself because i'm one of them are doing stand-up at jimmy kimmel's comedy club september 29th through
october 1st in las vegas since we're on strike we can't do anything else we're doing that and
that's also why i wrote a book which is called killing the guys who killed the guy who killed
lincoln a nutty story about edwin booth and boston corbett. And it's a funny, true story about the self-castrated Mad Hatter who chased down John Wilkes Booth and killed him.
And it's about Edwin Booth, who was John's way more famous brother, who nobody remembers anymore because brother killed the president.
Can I say that I lived in a building where I believe they hatched the plan for it on grove street in new york at 45 grove and there was
always tours out front stopping as they hatched the plan of the assassination on the parlor floor
what really yeah and there's also a yeah yeah that's interesting yeah 45 grow worth looking at okay there you go
well fascinating
all right well
Jesse's got to go
and now it's probably like a raised pizza by the way
no it's gorgeous it's like an old mansion
my apartment was like literally 300 square feet
it was tiny but it was this beautiful
it looks like it actually looks like
an assassination for Lincoln was planned there
it's very haunted.
It was really haunted.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This sounds like an exciting place to live.
Yeah, it was fun.
All right.
Here's my plugs.
Doing stand up at 420 on Saturday, October 7th at American Comedy Company in San Diego.
November 4th, what a day.
In the afternoon, Doug Lowe's Movies at night.
Stand up where?
What city's lucky enough to get that?
It's a place called Cleveland.
All of my dates are at DougLowe'sMovies.com. dot com. And oh, also one more Douglas movies in Austin, Texas at a cap city comedy on October 25th.
And did you hear that doorbell go off?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've got like this.
I've got a button.
That's a doorbell sound,
but now it just goes off on its own every once in a while.
That's fine.
Yeah.
I don't know what that's about.
But maybe I should open the door because there's a ghost outside.
Is it John Mullick's booth?
Probably.
This would also be a nice space for plotting something.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Thank you to all three of my guests, Guyham arden marine and jesse joyce what a
delightful hour this has been and as always that is all
now it's time for doug to watch another talky of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies!