Doug Loves Movies - Guy Branum, Julia Claire, Dominic Monaghan and Dan Van Kirk guest
Episode Date: October 24, 2022Live from Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes Guy Branum, Julia Claire, Dominic Monaghan and Dan Van Kirk to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stit...cher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Good morning, Leonard!
Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
That was perfection.
Let me open my fancy box that says hashtag without remorse on it
because I guess there was a TV show or a TV movie
or a streaming movie called About Remorse,
and they sent me a bunch of stuff
in this cool box
and so that's going to be
the prize box today.
Wait till you find out
what's in there.
It's crazy.
We're coming to you once again
from Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles,
California!
It's Saturday, October 22nd, 2022.
And we're continuing our month of scary movie shows
here at the Dynasty Typewriter.
And we'll be back on Saturday, November 12th
at this same time.
And I guess it'll be a thankful episode, maybe.
And for our listeners in the Houston area,
be sure to check out Doug Loves Movies and Wide World of Dougs.
And I'll be doing some other stuff there as well
at a festival called the Come and Take It Fest.
Yeah, that's November 18 through 20 or something like that.
I'm pretty sure.
For all, but if you want to get the accurate information
for all of my dates and deets, go to douglovesmovies.com.
That's douglovesmovies.com!
Yeah!
Ka-ka!
You didn't get through the whole thing.
Everybody just started laughing.
Let's talk about this prize box.
Because, of course, I brought a rubber pipe from Peacemaker.
It's a nice Halloween-looking one.
Yellow and orange.
Looks like candy corn.
And then I've got from Rockin' Pins as I often do. I've got pins of
myself and Doug Loves Movies.
And then, because it
fits perfectly in this stupid box,
somebody today is going
home with
carpool karaoke.
I don't know who this gentleman is on the cover of this,
but apparently carpool karaoke is a microphone
that you can use to sing in your car.
That doesn't seem safe.
And I heard that you're not allowed to take this into Balthazar.
If you're thinking about to take this into Balthazar.
If you're thinking about dining in New York City and you want to bring your carpool karaoke,
that's why he got thrown out in the first place,
because they were tired of all of his restaurant karaoke.
But like I said, this crate that it comes in
is kind of a prize in and of itself.
So especially if you're going over to somebody's house
and you're bringing them a bottle of wine or something,
it fits perfectly in there.
Oh, it's also a good baby coffin.
Almost forgot to mention that.
All right, let's see.
Did I do everything I needed to do?
Yes, I did.
Let's get our guests out here. We got four chairs. And if you've been paying attention, I think you already know who's going to be here. Please give it up for Guy Branum, Julia Clare, Dominic Monaghan, and Dan Van Kirk.
Have a seat wherever you'd like.
Thank you for being here, everybody.
Let's meet all of you. Everybody's so nice and polite.
Let's meet everybody alphabetically by first name.
The Alice and Rosen rule.
Joining us,
you know him from Pen Pals
and Dumb People Town
and lots of other stuff.
It's Dan Van Kirk. Hi, Dan.
Hello. Hi, friend.
Did you call that a baby coffin?
I did.
That's bad.
Right? I know. It's a terrible thing to say,
but it's that time of year.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's baby coffin season.
Yeah.
I mean, it's weird.
Like, if you don't shop right away during baby coffin season,
you get shut out, then you got to put your baby in a regular size coffin.
But also, if you wait until after the season,
you can get such good deals on baby coffins.
That's true, but it's a roll the dice.
Because you don't want to get too big of a coffin for your baby.
Rolling around in there.
They'll grow into it.
No, they won't, Dan.
You don't understand how the whole dead baby thing works.
All right.
Also, are we done talking, Dan? Sure.
Okay. For now. For now.
Exactly. You're going to speak again. This isn't
the last time you'll speak, but we have
our winner from the last
time. Applaud if you were here last
month for this show.
A few people know what's up.
Returning to
the program, it's
Dominic Monaghan.
Welcome.
How's it going?
How's it going?
It's going good.
Yeah?
I almost forgot to come.
Yeah.
That's what I heard.
Yeah, it was a weird day today.
I was just hanging out watching football and watching UFC.
And then my friend Mia was like,
are you not doing Doug Love's movies tonight?
And I was like, oh, shit.
Thank you, Mia.
That's very nice of her.
Thank you for hooking that up.
And then also on the way over here,
I checked your Instagram and I was like,
is it happening?
And I had no idea that it was actually happening
until we parked and I saw Doug Love Movies
and I was like, oh, we're in the right place.
Yeah, you did it.
It's been like a month since you were here.
So much fun last time.
Yeah, and I thought you'd want to come back.
I love this show.
So publicists reached out to each other
and then they stopped talking at one point.
So that's why you were concerned
about whether it was happening or not, and I was concerned
about whether or not you'd be here or not.
I have a backup guest in the audience.
Oh really?
In case you didn't show up.
And people like to see Jon Hamm on stage, so.
Yeah.
Hey Jon.
It's kind of not worked out.
No, stay there Jon.
The way I had hoped it would.
Now we would of course add a chair if he was here,
but he's not.
Well I also remember the last time that I came here No, we would of course add a chair if he was here, but he's not.
Well, I also remember the last time that I came here with Billy,
one of the guests showed up really late.
Do you remember?
We were on stage and they ran on stage,
and I remember turning to Billy and being like,
I'll never do that, and almost did it tonight.
It's not easy to park around here.
So what are you going to do?
But thanks for making the effort.
So happy to be here.
I kind of love that you both just let the universe decide
if this was going to happen.
It feels like the 90s.
I love it.
Yeah, I mean, what are you going to do?
I mean, I'd love to have him,
but if he doesn't show up, I can't have him.
Right?
That's definitely true.
But he's here, so let's not talk about him like he's not here okay or in this box
also joining us today is another returning champion he won recently on a
one of those shows we don't do in front of an audience and so I'm very happy to
have him back here again. It's Guy Branum, everybody!
So much going on for you right now.
If you read the tabloid, not the tabloids, the trades.
Yes, the trades are all over me.
They're breathlessly reporting shows that I sold seven months ago.
That's great timing. They realize what a movie star you are now.
Yes.
And they jumped on it.
And I'm glad those shows, are those shows still sold?
They're still sold.
Do they have any life left in them?
Who can say?
You'll have to ask the people at NBC and ABC.
I mean, if they read the trades, they'll probably be, you know, like, oh, shit, we got to do this thing.
It says it in Variety.
Hollywood Reporter's making to do this thing it says it in variety holly rip reporters making us do this um but congratulations on bros because uh everybody who has you know gone to the trouble
of seeing it uh which is not enough people but the people who have uniformly say that you're
terrific in it so fucking funny oh that's so sweet. There you go. Thank you.
I think we all as a nation wondered
what would happen to Ticket to Paradise
if there were no famous people in it.
And so Universal just released Bros
just for like an experiment really.
For sure.
All the quality, some would say even better quality,
but none of the same push.
Just see what happens.
Exactly.
And so, bros, available for video on demand
wherever you stream films,
because you did not go to the movie theater to see it,
but Julia did.
That's right.
That's right.
Joining us for the first time, a perfect guest,
is Julia Clare, everybody.
First time on stage.
I did the podcast, and I won.
You won?
I won on the podcast.
The Zoom version?
The Zoom podcast.
And now I'm insulted in front of all these people.
Well, I mean, that was probably a case of you still living in New York.
That's true. So I couldn't funnel you into one of these live case of you still living in New York. That's true.
So I couldn't funnel you into one of these live ones until you decided to come out here.
All right.
And now here we are.
All right, fine.
But I did forget that you won, so I'm sorry about that.
I apologize.
It's all champions here.
Is it all champions on stage?
I think so, yeah.
Dan's definitely won in the past.
Yeah, I won.
It's an all-star game.
2017, I think,'s the last time.
The last time I won.
Refresh my memory, Julia.
Who did you beat on that one?
Because I had some pretty weak contenders.
Some don't even play.
John Gay Briss was one of them.
Wait, what was that noise?
It was somewhere between a ooh and a boo.
That did sound positive or negative.
It was like ooh, but it had the connotation of boo.
Yeah.
It was an ooh without the consonant.
And I can't remember who else.
Yeah, there you go.
It doesn't matter.
You stepped all over, obviously.
You crushed them.
You don't need to remember those minions.
No.
But yeah, John Gabrus is cool.
Love him.
Yeah, I think he's done one of these here.
Because this is like the fourth or fifth Dynasty Typewriter show that we've been doing monthly.
And so thanks again to Dynasty Typewriter.
And no thanks to parking in the area.
Fuck you, parking in the area.
Guys, there's actually a hack for that,
which is that all you have to do is not be able to afford a car.
And then you can take the bus, which is what I did.
Whoa. Thank you. That's impressive. and then you can take the bus, which is what I did. Whoa!
Thank you.
That's impressive.
L.A. is a walkable city if you're poor enough.
This is true.
Six years on that bus.
Yeah, you also have to have some time on your hands.
But at what cost?
Oh, certainly.
Certainly, I'm finding out every day.
Well, thank you for being here, Julia, and tell us about your podcast. Oh, certainly. Certainly, I'm finding out every day. Well, thank you for being here, Julia.
And tell us about your podcast.
Oh, okay.
My podcast is called Reply Guys.
It's a leftist feminist podcast with very funny comedians, Kate Willett and Mohana Del Shiki.
Hana Del Shiki and and yeah
I'm currently on sabbatical from
Reply Guys because I'm
writing for Crooked Media
but I
they're doing a great job
and you should still listen to it and I will be back
that's awesome
I don't think I've ever had someone come on and just promote
a podcast that they dipped from
you said tell me about
your podcast and I was like oh no.
I did. It was silly of me
to think it was ongoing.
But also I was
kind of making a joke because any comedian
now if you say tell us about your podcast
it's not a bad question.
Chances are they have one
and then they can tell us about it.
I'm actually currently shopping for one
if anyone just needs a rogue host.
Well, it is October,
and so I do like to lean into the scary movie month,
if you will.
And so for my recommendation portion of the show today i would like each of
you we'll start with you dan okay i'd like each of you to recommend a scary movie or you know a
horror movie or a movie that scares you does uh what if it just like gives you like panic attacks
like anxiety that doesn't sound like something you'd want to tell somebody else about.
But as long as you think
it's not going to cause the same problem
in them. Or do you enjoy
having anxiety?
It's a documentary.
It's called The Last Breath.
And it is
about deep sea divers.
And the
way it works is you have to be in a
pressurized chamber for like 28 days
and then that chamber gets pushed off the side of the boat
it's tethered to the boat and then
three guys go down and
two get outside of the little chamber
and they're tethered to the chamber and they go
the rest of the way down to the bottom of the ocean
and they're like
working on oil rigs or something like that
but they are way down there
and in the documentary
one of them gets left down there.
It's an hour and 24 minutes
and it is scary.
It's scary.
But it's all real
and it's amazing.
What's it called again?
I believe it's called The Last Breath.
Has anyone in here seen it?
Has anybody? Oh, okay, great. Okay, great. Live to tell about it. Yeah. so what's it called again I believe it's called The Last Breath has anyone in here seen it has anybody
oh okay great
okay great
live to tell about it
yeah
but it is like
whoa that was fucking
spooky and scary
and crazy
it's wild
I mean the documentaries
are scarier than
the actual fictional things
because they
it happened
you're seeing it happen
do you guys see
the documentary
about the
the Thai rescue?
I haven't watched it, yeah.
The boys in
Thailand, the soccer team that went into a cave
and then it got flooded.
That documentary, is it called The Rescue?
Yeah, thank you, sir.
On the National Geographic channel.
I mean, you should probably
avoid it, Dan.
That's pretty gut-wrenching.
I felt like that during Uncut Gems. I just kept being like,
stop. Just stop.
I thought you were going to recommend
Uncut Gems. Yeah. I had
three panic attacks in that movie theater. I just kept going,
stop. Just stop.
I do feel like we've
slightly lost the thread, though.
It's true. It is scary.
It's all scary.
All right.
So that's Dan's horror movie suggestion.
I'm going to watch that.
I love documentaries.
I'm going to watch it.
The Last Breath.
You guys should watch Loose Change.
I'm just kidding.
I'm normal.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Dom, what do you think?
Do you have a horror movie you could lay on us?
Yeah I do
I would just say that
not that it necessarily matters
but I think horror movies are probably my least favorite genre
I like them
When they're good you like them
When they're good it's incredible
But there's too many that are just rough
I think it's the easiest genre to be schlocky in
and the easiest genre to just kind of do lowest common denominator bullshit,
like let's just throw some bloody guts and stuff.
Somebody will be like, where are you going?
And then they won't answer and just let them go.
Or like, what did you just see?
And then before they answer, it cuts to the other group.
And you're like, no, they would tell them that they just, whatever.
Yeah.
And more cliched stuff than I think a lot of stuff.
Like, turn on the fucking light.
Call the police, whatever.
But there are moments of genius in all genres.
It's like every horror movie now,
they have to sit down and have a discussion.
How do we explain that these people
don't have phones that work?
Right.
Totally.
You know, because phones get us out
of so much shit these days.
Stop reading Latin out loud.
Yeah.
Maybe trade in the Ouija board
for a little twister or something.
Okay, so did you recommend a movie, Don?
I did not.
But, yeah, least favorite genre.
But in my top five films, there is a horror film,
and it's Let the Right One In, which is an absolute masterpiece.
Swedish version.
You should watch it in Swedish language with English subtitles.
And what I love about that film is it's the story
of a little boy that meets a little girl and she just happens to be a vampire
that's what I love about it's not it doesn't lead with the front foot of
she's a vampire it's scary she drinks your blood she needs blood it's like a
little boy kind of you know struggling to find friends finds a friend oh by the
way she's a vampire it is extraordinary yeah he's like, isn't he like blood curious?
Yeah, he is curious.
Yeah, for sure.
He's being bullied
and he wants to be violent
and he wants to be a tough guy,
but he's not.
And then the girl kind of,
she kind of teaches him
how to be violent and protects him.
It's, I think,
one of the greatest European films
in the last like 20 years or so.
That's quite a statement.
Yeah.
If you guys haven't seen it,
let the right one in.
We've had this same conversation
already this month
with one of my guests
that not only recommending
Let the Right One In,
but also insisting that one,
not the American remake.
Who was it?
Let's say it was John Gabrus.
Okay, good.
Boo!
No? Nobody?
Okay.
It was me!
But yeah, that's a terrific movie.
Let's go to Guy Branum.
Guy, what scares you?
I hate horror films.
I hate horror films.
So do you want me to...
What's the one that you find tolerable?
Or is there no such thing?
I would have to say the best horror film experience I had was reading the screenplay of what turned into the Will Smith I Am Legend.
Not bad.
The screenplay that turned into the Will Smith I Am Legend, I had never watched The Omega Man, and after that I watched The Omega Man.
And just sort of the idea of living alone in a world full of vampires
was this really fun sort of post-apocalyptic thing but then i always think that you know
vampires that's sort of scary but like stuff that could actually happen to you is much scarier and
just sort of getting to the end of i am legend and having it be like oh shit they're people now
and you're the monster.
Exactly.
And you don't have a place in this world anymore
was really good, and they of course removed that,
and Will Smith fixed all the people at the end of the movie.
But that's the best take of it.
Somebody said that to me once.
They were like, you understand in I Am Legend,
he's the problem.
He kidnaps them, terrorizes them, kills them.
They're trying to stop this thing from kidnapping them
in the middle of the night.
It's such a better take on it.
I legitimately don't remember
why I read it, but
I read that and I was like, oh, that was
a compelling experience, but I hate horror films.
Do you not want
to experience a jump scare?
For you, I'll just write down, for people to
try to read the script,
the version of I am legend that they did
not make or just go back and read the is it a short story or a novel that it's based on the
omega man it's richard matheson just put the omega man because that's a better version of it there
you go and it's like that omega man's like uh low-key scary yeah you know it's more of a vibe
than uh you know jump scares and all that shit I
hate jump scares yeah can I just ask guy because I wonder if it's that if it's
the same thing the reason why I don't like horror films why why do horror
films not do it for you um because like they're very not real I don't like the
feeling of being of like a jump scare or something like that right or having that
sort of tension I mean I like a nice midsummer like that or having that sort of tension.
I mean, I like a nice midsummer or the vitch
where it's just sort of like,
what's this weird situation?
Dude, the vitch is fucking wild.
Yeah, the vitch is crazy.
Yeah.
What about you?
It's the same?
The vitch is very good.
I think for me it's like,
the world is a scary place.
Why would I bring that into my living room?
I can walk outside at 10 o'clock at night and it's terrifying.
Are you recommending that then?
Are you recommending late night walk?
My street at 10 o'clock?
The thing is for some people the scariest thing you can imagine
Let the right walk in.
For some people the scariest thing you can imagine
is like an undead person's arm slamming through your wall.
That's never going to happen.
To me the scariest thing that has ever happened in a movie
is Meg Ryan driving to Baltimore,
hearing Tom Hanks' voice and saying,
I have to find that person.
He's the only person I'll ever love.
That could happen to you.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, sleepless from all the nightmares.
Well played, Doug.
All right, Julia, this is a tough one for you
because we've got some really interesting...
We've got some interesting non-horror films in the mix.
I'm so sorry to report that I will add to them
because I also am too scared to watch most horror films.
Boy, have I read a lot of good Wikipedia summaries.
You know what?
I read the Wikipedia summary of Suspiria, the old one and the new one.
Whoa.
Seems great.
Recommend it.
Especially the new one.
I watched the trailer.
That was really good.
I love Dakota Johnson.
We stan a woman with a big forehead.
But every horror movie I've ever watched
has pretty much been against my will
because I was in a group where that was the activity
and I was not brave enough to leave.
But I'll say that I am so scared of horror films
that when I was a teenager,
the Scary Movie franchise
gave me nightmares.
Scary Movie 3,
which just had a vague ring theme.
I've never seen the ring.
I didn't sleep for a week.
I don't know how to...
Again, they're comedies.
They are comedies,
and I couldn't...
Anyways.
So I don't...
This is...
I mean, obviously...
Should we put Scary Movie 3?
We should put Scary Movie 3.
I do love the Wayans brothers.
No, the one that I saw most...
I think they dipped by part three.
Did they?
I don't remember.
I think they were just in the first two.
I blacked it out.
It's a hard series to keep track of.
It really is.
A lot of moving forward.
We had Robert Englund, Freddy Krueger,
on the podcast that I do with Billy a few weeks ago.
And I was at a convention where Billy and I went over
to see if he would do the podcast that we do.
And from a distance, I went, hey, Robert.
And he went, hey.
And I said, who am I?
And I said to Billy, like, we were walking towards him.
I went, no, just watch the conversation.
I went, we'll do it later.
Like, he didn't go high.
He went, ugh.
And I was like, no.
I wonder if when Robert Englund's
walking a dark street at night,
if he puts keys between his fingers.
And it feels like home.
And then just says, yeah,
just says Freddy Krueger shit.
That's so funny.
That's an extraordinary performance by him.
I mean, he gave me legit nightmares for like a decade.
I come from like a family of people who love horror films.
So this is, I mean, my personal Waterloo.
But yeah, so growing up, my parents would always be like,
you have to watch this film.
It's a classic.
And then I would be awake for a week.
And I know that everyone, like the old horror movies,
people are like, those aren't scary because the effects are so bad.
Doesn't matter to my little pea brain.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the old one, so fucking scary.
Okay.
No, no, she means even older.
The black and white one.
Oh, right.
With Kevin McCarthy, I think.
Doug gets the point.
Doug gets the point.
Thank you.
The birds?
The birds?
Are you kidding me?
I literally thought you were going to say the burbs.
Yeah.
That's scary, too.
That's a scary comedy.
Have you seen the burbs?
I bet it would scare you.
It will scare you.
Just so you know.
When I was seven,
I was supposed to be in bed
and I got up and went into the living room
where my parents were watching
the TV movie of Salem's Lot.
And a vampire popped up through the floor
and I am still fucked up by that.
I am still processing that
and when I'm done with that,
I'll go watch a Friday through the 13th.
There's an entire generation
that just blames Tim Curry
for what happened to them from it.
Oh, yeah.
But what I will say is
I did recently go see one in a theater.
I went to see Bodies, Bodies, Bodies.
Did anybody see that?
It's not super scary.
My friend Rachel's in it.
I wanted to support.
So I went.
I thought it was so funny.
And so I thought it was like the perfect mixture of like comedy and horror that didn't, you know, wasn't as scary as Scary Movie 3.
Like Zombieland does that really well.
A little bit of fear with a little bit of comedy.
The Final Girl or The Last Girl.
That one was really good, right?
Final girls.
Final girls, yeah.
Finals girl.
Julia, do you have like a take as to why you think ladies tend to like horror films more than men?
From my understanding, like in my kind of group of friends, all my girlfriends love horror films
and most of my guy friends are like,
eh, it's not my thing.
I didn't know that that was a phenomenon.
Maybe it's just my friends.
True crime, it tends to be.
True crime for sure.
True crime because it's the only medium
that's dedicated specifically to us.
America loves a dead woman.
Boy, do we love a dead woman.
And a dead girl?
She can't talk anymore.
That's great.
Hey, Dan, do you know why I didn't see the It movies in the theater?
How come?
Because I'm Pennywise.
Hey-o.
Hey-o.
Hey-o.
Well, these are terrific.
I'm switching yours to bodies, bodies, bodies.
Yes. Because it truly does have scary parts. It's really good to Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. Yes.
Because it truly does have scary parts.
It's really good.
And it's funny.
It's funny.
And it's got one of the better endings of a horror movie I've ever seen.
That's true.
It's really good.
Yeah.
There's a lot of, you know, again, like Dom was saying, there's stuff in it that I wish
wasn't there that just has to be in horror movies.
Yeah.
You know, like walking around with a flashlight for ten minutes.
Like, okay, let's go, you know.
And you can't, you know, they should have one person in the audience at the theater to fast-forward to those
Preferably a man okay, so
Give the man the remote control
Well, we have a lot to do right now because we've got to decide who my guests are gonna play for today to win this
amazing BC.
Oh, geez.
Yeah, I didn't want to say it again.
I was like, there's no reason to keep saying baby coffin.
But somebody's going to win this and take it off my hands because, frankly, it's cursed me since the day I got it.
It's under some sort of spell.
So we'll pick those
during the break and then we'll come back
and we'll play some games. We'll be right back.
We're back
everybody!
We're doing it on a
Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles.
The coldest day of the year here.
Really?
So far, yeah.
We hit it like our high today was like 69 or 70.
And you know how sexy I think the number 70 is.
Yeah.
I love it.
I'm wearing a light jacket for the first time.
I'm just fucking living.
Absolutely living.
Okay, so this first game we're going to play today
is one I enjoy very much
because I'm a big fan of Nicolas Cage
and the motion picture pig.
This game is called Knock Over Those Bottles.
We have a lead.
This game is called Who Has My Pig?
Here's how this game works.
In the motion picture pig,
Nicolas Cage was very upset
that his pig was missing and he spends the whole movie
trying to find his pig.
Is that real? I won't give away whether he does
or not. Yeah. Okay.
You haven't seen this movie? No. Me either.
It sounds like a weird version of John Wick.
Yeah, it's really weird.
Animal Vendetta.
Yeah, because he's also a chef who lives out in the woods.
Okay, stop. I'm already in.
So Nicolas Cage is trying to find his pig.
So I do my impression, my bad impression of Nicolas Cage.
And the four of you all guess
who
Nicholas Cage thinks has his pig.
I'll give you
clues in what I'm saying
and you can guess as often as you want.
Love it. Just yell it into your microphone.
And this is an actor?
I'll stop when someone gets it right.
Thank you for asking.
Since it's October
I decided to make it
More specific this one
Than actors and actresses
So instead it's movie characters
Okay
So you're going to guess the movie character
That Nicolas Cage thinks
Has something to do
With the disappearance of his pig.
Okay.
And I gotta commend
Dynasty Typewriter
for having an open snack bar
during the show.
Mm-hmm, sure.
That's one of my pet peeves
when you're watching
like a boring movie
and you run up to the snack bar
and it's closed
because they're not expecting
any business
during the movie.
It's like,
but it's gonna happen
so just have a guy
sitting there.
Also, their popcorn
is excellent.
It is excellent. It is excellent.
It's good popcorn.
It's like extra salty.
Yeah, and they put different candies in it.
Ooh.
They're not fucking around with the snacks here at Dynasty Typewriter.
The drinks are great, too.
They got root beer.
They got grape soda.
They got lots of great stuff.
So come to Dynasty Typewriter.
Just enjoy the snack bar and then leave.
I don't know anything about the shows they do here.
I just know the snack bar is solid.
All right.
I've got to switch into Nicolas Cage mode.
Is everybody ready?
Sure.
Good start.
We're already in Nicolas Cage mode.
Yeah.
All right.
Here goes.
Did he really just drop that pen again?
I drop this pen every week,
and then I spend too long trying to get it back.
This is why you ought to be here for those moments.
Right?
That's why you want to see the show live,
because the listeners...
This doesn't happen on Zoom.
The listeners aren't seeing me.
Yeah, exactly.
All right, here we go.
This is Nicolas Cage.
You tell me who he thinks has his pig.
Do you have my pig?
I start everyone with something like that.
There's no reason to guess yet.
Alright.
Do you have my pig?
Are you hiding my pig
behind your creepy hotel?
Norman Bates.
Dan got it.
Do I have to come over to the Universal back lot
and look for myself?
Or is your mother going to be there with a knife?
So Dan gets the first point
and now it's time for round two.
Okay.
Do you have my pig, doctor?
I mean, I'm not talking about a pig, doctor.
You're the doctor.
I know you prefer to eat people.
Cannibal actor.
Yeah, Dan did it again.
Holy shit, Dan.
I was going to say Richard Kimball.
Dan, it's almost like you're on stage
with a bunch of people who don't like horror movies.
I watched two horror movies this week.
Is Patch Adams a horror film?
Yes.
That counts.
That's canon.
I was, because that's where I was going.
Yeah.
That movie is a little scary.
Okay.
So Dan is just running away with this thing, but it's still, what's that?
He regrets it.
He instantly regrets it.
Whatever he said, he was like,
I didn't know that it would be... That was a fast take back.
I love that.
I want you to let that take back
stay with you forever.
It's really important.
It's been recorded.
That moment where Heckler decided
to retract.
Nope.
Immediately after. Appreciate it. Good job. where heckler decided to retract just the emergency immediately after yeah
good job did you eat my pig my pig isn't much of a swimmer. Oh, Jaws.
Yay!
Nice!
I was going in another direction,
and I won't say it in case it comes up.
Thinking outside the box, though.
I love Jaws because that movie is where, like,
the horror is actually small-town bureaucracy.
It's the mayor.
The mayor is the villain, not the shark.
Politicians are the problem.
And he's still the mayor in Jaws 2.
Like he's been proven absolutely wrong
in his attitude and his decision.
And you know why?
That's why everyone needs to vote.
Vote out this terrible mayor we have
in Amity.
I was going to go on to
say, can I call you Bruce?
Alright.
And universal backlog.
Jaws is too informal.
Alright.
So, Dan's the winner of that game.
Congratulations, Dan.
The guy was a strong runner-up.
And this last one's just for fun.
I still like to do one more, because I wrote it down.
And I practiced it.
Are you all ready?
Yeah.
Do you have my pig, Dracula?
Bram Stoker's Dracula.
I'll take it, but I was just looking for Dracula.
You never know with you, full name.
But wait, if someone's saying, do you have my pig, Dracula,
why would Dracula be saying, do you have my pig, to himself?
Nicolas Cage said to Dracula.
Copy that.
Do you have my pig?
Moving on.
That gets back on board.
And I got the stairs I was looking for
because that's a fun thing I do on the last one.
The listeners know.
On the last one, every time,
I just say the answer at the end of the sentence
and see how quickly people pick up on it.
And Dan was the people that picked up on that the quickest.
But Dan was already our winner of this game,
which means he gets to go first in our next game.
No, it should mean he has to sit out the next game.
Okay, Dan, you have to sit this one out.
It's the new Julia Clare rule.
I might have spaced out.
Did we ever say who we're playing for?
Do we have to anymore?
We didn't say it out loud,
but that's not a bad idea to bring it up.
I didn't know.
I was like, maybe everybody else did.
And I just went away for a second.
Dan is playing
for
Dr. Strange Jess
or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
and Love the Bob.
Yeah.
Yes.
Dom is playing
for
Flaxenship Down
because Holly Flax
from The Office
is in the audience.
Laws of Afflaction?
Mm-hmm.
Flaxen Jackson.
Yes.
Flaxen Jackson
is a good one.
So I married
a flax murderer.
There.
That.
Stop.
Just move on. We're done. Stop. Just move on.
We're done.
You can end the show.
Okay.
That was fun.
That was a fun short one.
All right.
And then Julia, oh, sorry,
Guy is playing for Return of the Kim,
which is another Lord of the Rings thing.
I just want to say that as flax is a traditionally Ashkenazi Jewish last name.
So I married a flax murderer would probably be like a very, very long Holocaust documentary.
Also with Doug, like the next episode, he'd be like, so we have a new game.
You're going to take the word flax and I'm going to give you a title.
I don't think that will happen.
Okay.
But this is going to happen.
I was so excited about the first two guests booked on this particular episode were Dominic.
Wait, we didn't say who she's playing.
Oh, right, right.
were Dominic and... Wait, we didn't say who she's playing.
Oh, right, right.
Julius played for, instead of Inherent Vice,
he went with Inherent Ryan.
I mean, I chose it because I love
when someone really just phones it in.
Yeah.
And I think it's important.
It was either that or I know what you did last Ryan.
So, and you can really do that with almost any movie.
No, it is fun to just throw a name in there.
And like, why worry about trying to make some sort of pun?
Just put it in there and see what happens.
Ryan, Private Ryan.
Yeah.
Or you could have done like an homage to Jules.
Ryan.
Yeah, Ryan's.
There is a movie called Ryan's Daughter.
You could do Ryan's Daughter Ryan.
Rye-am-Sam.
Oh, I like that too.
I am Sam.
If you want to have a laugh,
that'll make you feel bad about yourself.
When Sean Penn is running down the hall with that cake,
it's the most obvious
what's going to happen moment in the history of cinema.
Give the mentally handicapped guy a cake
and tell him to run.
And then that's one of those movies
where there's a mix of actors
who are genuinely mentally handicapped
interacting with men pretending to be.
It's so rough.
A double bill with Patch Adams.
Would be terrific.
I mean, one of the last movies
that Gene Siskel reviewed was Patch Adams
and he hated it and then died of cancer.
Which proves Patch Adams didn't heal anybody.
Have you guys seen the movie where,
I think it's Rosie O'Donnell plays someone who has...
Riding on the bus with my sister, yes.
That is a rough watch. we owe each other a coke
yeah that's tough too
hopefully that's just a thing of the past
the wild swing
at playing somebody that's severely
disabled
that's past and we've entered the golden age
of prestige fat suits ladies and gentlemen
you won an academy award you spent four hours That's passed and we've entered the golden age of prestige fat suits, ladies and gentlemen.
You won an Academy Award.
You spent four hours in prosthetics to look kind of like me.
It is insane the amount of time they spend in the makeup chair each day to just look like a thing they could have made with CGI.
Or cast.
Yeah.
I mean, they could have just really gone crazy.
Just make him 8,000 pounds.
Make him like the size
of an entire city.
Be like,
have you seen the whale?
Yeah.
Tried to drive through
that place and
he blocked it.
Okay.
So, the game we're
going to play.
Oh, so.
Yeah.
Did I forget anything else, Dan? No, we're great. Okay. Yep. Moving on. Okay we're going to play. Oh, so did I forget anything else, Dan?
No, we're great.
Okay, moving on.
Okay, and back to one, back to one. Here we go.
Since Dan Van Kirk and Dominic Mana...
He got it wrong last time, that's why I said it.
Yeah, are the first two guests booked,
so I came up with a game
in honor of the two of you,
and it's called Van Damme or Dom.
Ooh.
This is a game where you have to know
as much as possible about Jean-Claude Van Damme
and Dom DeLuise.
Oh no.
Every fun fact that I share with you is either about Jean-Claude Van Damme
or Dom DeLuise
or both.
Wow.
Yeah.
Outside of the whole game stuff,
could you just let me know
because I don't even know who Dom DeLuise is
could you tell me
a movie or
Dom before we had fat suits we had actual funny fat guys
and Dom DeLuise
did a shit ton of coke
with Burt Reynolds in the 70s
and they filmed some of them and they released them as films
your cannonball run
your cannonball run 2 got it what else was he in and they filmed some of them and they released them as films. Your Cannonball Run.
Your Cannonball Run 2.
Got it.
What else was here? That just became a mainstay of our culture.
Mel Brooks movies.
When you show up on The Tonight Show.
Got it.
I know that.
Yeah, he's in lots of movies
directed by Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder.
He worked with both of them a lot.
He's flabbergasted a lot.
He's no longer with us,
but I assume he's in heaven
because he's a voice in All Dogs Go to Heaven.
Cats go to hell.
Okay, so...
So we'll start with the winner of that last game,
who is in fact Dan Van Kirk.
And then we'll go to Guy, because he came in second.
And then Julia.
And then Dom.
So Dom, on this first one,
you probably won't get to play.
Fine.
We'll see.
Because Dan's going to guess. If he gets it wrong,
then Guy gets to guess between the two remaining
answers. And if Guy gets it wrong
and Julia gets the gimme point, uh we'll see how it works uh this first one is
dan van kirk van dam or dom or both okay uses a stage name
A stage name.
I'm going to go both.
You're saying both of them have all or partly made up names.
Yes.
Incorrect.
We move to Guy. I guess you wouldn't choose Claude.
Nothing against it.
I just don't really choose it.
All right.
So the two options here.
What a Claude.
Our options are that Jean-Claude Van Damme
had a much more fruity Belgian name.
I'm allowed to use these words.
Say anything you want about Belgians.
And then,
Dom DeLuise had an infinitely more
Italian name that he changed it from.
I'm going to say
Jean-Claude Van Damme changed his name.
That is correct!
That's well played.
Yeah, his real name is Jean-Claude Camille...
What did I say?
Francois.
He's one of those two middle names.
That's how fancy he is.
And then his real last name is Van Varenberg.
So he was like, damn!
I gotta change that up yeah Camille whereas Dom DeLuise if you're born if you're if your Christian name is Dom
DeLuise you just have to be an actor you have to be in showbiz you have to be a
star and you have to do coke with Burr Reynolds.
He's the full Dominic with a K.
Oh, he has a K.
He goes all the way to the K.
He has a K.
I get Dominique a lot in this country.
Like if I go to places,
doctor's offices where they're checking me in and stuff,
it's like Dominique.
And I'm like, no, no.
No, no, eventually that'll be my name. But for now, I'm a name. Dominique, and I'm like, no, no. No, no, eventually that'll be my name,
but for now I'm a name.
Dominique, I think is like a girl's name.
I think it's because of Dominique Wilkins.
Yeah, but still, it's got a Q.
It's got a Q-U-E, right?
Yeah.
Sometimes I'll get Danielle, and I'm like,
do you just not know how to read?
I would say 50% of the time when someone doesn't know my name,
they call me Dominique, and I'm like, oh, that's weird.
Your name is, first and last, is a total minefield.
It's a fucking minefield, yeah, it really is.
It's really terrible.
I just want to say, if you switch vowels on my first name,
it is hate-criming me, and it happens constantly.
Really?
Oh, yes.
I mean, like Starbucks, people just go, gay?
Sure.
If you've got to make a big deal about it, then grab your coffee.
Okay, here we go.
Where am I?
Dynasty typewriter.
Okay, so Julia, you're up first.
Okay.
Because Guy just got the point.
Okay.
All right.
Julia, Van Damme, DeLuise, or both,
has voiced an animated crocodile.
Fuck.
And just before you get into it Lyle is voiced by
Shawn Mendes
or some shit like that
so don't worry about Lyle Lyle
now I'm wondering
I'm wondering about the crocodile
and Peter Pan
does it speak?
Who am I?
I'm going to say it voiced a crocodile.
We all know the French are villains.
I'm going to say Dom DeLuise. Ooh, I'm sorry. Dom Deluise ooh I'm sorry that's incorrect
speaking of Dom
yeah
so
you have
the options are
both of them
or just Van Damme
so Van Damme
voiced Puss in Boots
no he didn't Van Damme. So Van Damme voiced Puss in Boots.
No, he didn't.
I think he got an extraordinary amount of money for that.
It's one of the biggest paydays in animation history.
It was like a $60 million payout.
That's Antonio Banderas you're thinking of, though, right?
You're correct.
Doug, second point.
I keep getting points.
Where do I write them? Yeah, duck me a point.
I don't got any room for it.
I think...
I'm gonna go both.
You're going both?
Let me look.
Nope.
Well, look at you sitting over there.
Dan?
Yeah, except for I forgot what Julius said.
Oh, perfect.
This is perfect.
I wish I was doing this as a bit to be funny,
but I'm genuinely not.
It's really hard sometimes.
Keep in mind, he is the runaway winner.
In Doug Love's movies, it's all about the fundamentals, you guys.
It's about playing the game on the court.
It is.
I get it.
It is hard sometimes to pay attention when a woman's talking.
No, I get all caught up in the fun.
Wait, what'd you say, Julie?
Sarah, that's not true.
What did you say?
Don't tell me, because I have to lose.
I swear to God, I don't know why.
If you don't get it, then nobody's going to get the point.
Why? He gets it, yeah.
Yes! Yes!
Because I could just tell you which one's left over.
You have no idea how much, in real life,
I'm embarrassed of myself.
Which one do you think is left over?
You know what?
It's 50-50.
Yeah.
I'll say Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Yeah, that's correct.
Everyone in the room but you knew the answer.
I know. I genuinely feel bad.
And it's like, who did he play?
What kind of guy?
He's a crocodile in the Kung Fu Panda movies.
Oh, is that right?
Guy Blatt, right?
Yeah.
He's like a crocodile that can do karate.
I heard he did his own stunts.
All of
the O's during splits.
Alright, so Daniel...
Antonio Banderas made a huge amount of money
playing the piano. Oh, that's what I heard. I've heard that.
I've heard that. And, you know,
Jean-Claude Van Damme was also Pedro Almodovar's
muse in the 80s, so I understand
why you're confused. Thank you, guys.
Thank you. Okay, guys I understand why you're confused. Thank you, Guy.
Okay, Guy's up first on this next one.
Van Damme,
Dom DeLuise, or both,
his father
was a garbage man.
Not a garbage man.
A garbage man.
Okay.
He wasn't a piece of shit.
I'm going to say, all right, we're still looking for a both,
but I'm just going to say Dom DeLuise.
No, I'm sorry.
Julia.
Wow.
Dom is off the table.
So is it Van Damme or both?
Whose father was a garbage man?
If it's both of them, that's...
What mysteries exist in the world?
I don't know
of course my first instinct
was also Dom DeLuise because I'm
deeply anti-Italian
we understand that government
jobs are something that a mob hands out
to their community to maintain
authority okay we are racists
right
but
alright I'll say Van Damme We are racists. Right. But, all right,
I'll say Van Damme.
That is correct.
Yeah.
In Belgium.
Yeah.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Belgian garbage
is mostly just cigarette butts
and like muscle shells.
All right.
Which is interesting,
because Jean-Claude was known for his muscles and butt.
Yeah.
Well played.
Good work.
Don't applaud that.
Points, points.
Do not applaud that.
I'm furious. Guy kind of gave it. You't applaud that. Points, points. Do not applaud that. I'm furious.
You gave me that.
That was very good writing from an actor.
No one wants to see you do that.
You're up first on this next one, Dom.
Oh, cool.
Right, because Julia just got the point.
And here we go.
Has won a Razzie award?
Van Damme, Dom, or both?
You've never messed around with Razzies, have you?
I'm not sure. Possibly.
Somebody would tell you.
Your best friend would tell you if you got a nomination.
Do you get informed?
Somebody who loves you would tell you.
I feel like Jean-Claude Van Damme has.
I'm not sure if even Dom DeLuise was in the conversation at that point.
I'll say Jean-Claude Van Damme.
I love this part. conversation at that point, I'll say Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Hmm. I love this part.
Incorrect.
Dan, let me recap.
Okay.
He just said Van Damme.
Dude, it's all I've been saying in my head since he spoke.
I'll go both.
That is correct.
It is both.
Do you know which films?
Yeah, Van Damme won along with his co-star Dennis Rodman
for worst movie team in double team.
Yep.
worst movie team in double team.
And then
DeLuise won
for
he won for
in the lady category
because he played a drag character.
Yeah, he won a Razzie
for playing Aunt Kate in Haunted Honeymoon.
Oh, that was so great, though.
Ball in the Jack?
It was a great dance sequence with Gilda Ragnar.
Yeah.
How dare they?
Well, you know, the Razzies, they give them to things that are kind of thought of as bad,
but also are mainstream.
They don't just pick stuff nobody saw and then attack it.
They go after the classics
like Haunted Honeymoon.
Didn't they recently had to
renege on a whole bunch of Bruce Willis
nominations? Is that right? Is that what happened?
Cowards.
It's kind of tricky. They nominated
Bruce Willis for a whole bunch of stuff and then it came out
that he was struggling with stuff and they were like
nah, we didn't mean that.
I love the Razzies.
I think that they're so much fun.
I hope that they never stop.
I love when people show up.
Oh, Halle Berry, Sharon Stone.
Yeah, they show up with their own red carpets.
Incredible.
Wouldn't you?
I would do that.
Totally.
If I got nominated, I would absolutely blow it up.
I would be like, oh my god, yes.
Yeah, and if you got nominated and went to the thing, you'd be disappointed
to lose that.
If you were actually there, you know.
That's why a lot of award shows
you know who the winner's going to be because it's the person
who's actually there.
You've seen them on camera and then they win
and act surprised.
Alright, so what have we got here?
I think Dan won that one too.
I got lucky, yeah. Yeah? I think Dan won that one too. I got lucky.
Yeah, I think you did.
But here was the extra question if we needed it.
Married more than once.
Oh.
And it would be me and it would be both.
And how many points did he hide?
Because I had one point and could I tie the whole thing up right now?
I don't know.
I'm going to say both.
Should I not tie the whole thing up right now?
No, because it was over.
Okay.
Because Dan got two points in this game.
Was it both, though?
What?
Van Damme.
It's just Van Damme.
Oh.
Dom DeLuise was married to the same woman.
Oh, he's Italian.
He's Italian.
For most of his life.
An actress who's also in a lot of the movies he's in.
Her name is Carol Arthur.
Still is.
I think she's alive.
But Van Damme's been married four times.
And I think, if I understand it from reading the Wikipedia,
one of them was twice.
That's the best.
I think he's been married like five times.
He's a Liz Taylor.
Five times to four women.
Did Elizabeth Taylor marry the same person
twice or three times
Richard Burton
twice
yeah she doubled back
on Burton
and who wouldn't
yeah
well alright
so
still anybody's game today
of course
not really
of course it is
because Dan gets to go first
in this next game
it might not even be
advantageous to go first in fact next game. It might not even be advantageous to go first.
In fact, probably not.
We'll see right after these messages.
And we're back.
We've got one more game to play,
and it's one that I'm very excited about
because it's kind of a twist on an old game,
and I've tried it once, and I'm still tweaking it,
and it's called Super IMDB.
You know the website IMDB?
Yes.
IMDB, too, as well,
but there's a website
that is called that,
and they just keep track
of, you know,
everything that's going on
in the world of movies and
in their own algorithm.
Because, as you know, Dom,
if you go to IMDB
on your page,
it'll say best known for or most known for,
and then they list four movies at the top.
So yours is, you know, three Lord of the Rings movies.
Yeah, terrible.
And then the fourth thing is, because they do TV as well,
the fourth thing is probably Lost.
Probably, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's how it shakes out, is it's mostly movies,
but sometimes there's TV.
So I'm going to tell you the name of an actor or actress,
and then you're going to take turns naming movies
that you hope are in their top four.
All right.
And for every one you get, you get a point.
And if you guess something that's not on the top four
there's no penalty
but we'll go around individually
getting your answers
can we include a TV show or not?
you can, yeah, if you think a TV show
might be in there, go for it
and there'll also be like some
at the end of the day, does Doug love TV?
Doug does love TV
okay, then I'll accept it yeah, and in some ways At the end of the day, does Doug love TV? Doug does love TV.
Okay, then I'll accept it.
Yeah, and in some ways more than movies because they're doing such good work on TV now.
Really are.
It used to be such a stigma for anybody that's in movies to do TV,
and now they're all doing TV.
That's why we're seeing Michael Keaton win an award
at every award show because he did a TV show.
I'm waiting for Leo to do a TV show and then it's over.
Once DiCaprio does a TV show, it's over.
Leo.
Everyone does a TV show.
Season three of The White Lotus.
That'd be great.
Leo or Cate Blanchett.
Has Cate Blanchett done a TV show yet?
No, I don't think so, right?
Yeah.
Oh, who?
What?
Which one?
What TV show?
Yeah, take it back like that other guy did.
Stateland.
I mean, at the end of the day,
Tar was six half hours.
She was in Mrs. America, I think it was.
Oh, yeah.
An FX show, no less.
Yeah.
Wow.
So she did do it.
All right.
But you know how it is.
No more answers from the audience,
because this is going to get intense,
and someone's going home with this box,
whether they want it or not.
That's another thing I didn't ask
when we were picking name tags,
is if you even want this box.
You know, it's like Julia wouldn't want it,
because it's a weird thing to take on the bus.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I'd be like
in the bottom five weirdest people
on the bus.
Why has that lady got a baby coffin
in her lap?
I hope it's empty.
Okay.
So,
I think I was finished describing how this works.
So, Dan gets
to go first, and we'll switch the
old order around. We'll go
Dan, and then Dom, and then
Julia, and Guy.
And in each round,
you each get one guess, and
once we've hit all four, we'll move on.
Or we might not get all four, which is a possibility.
Okay, so Dan, you start us off.
Okay.
Name one movie that you think is in the best known for of an actress named Jamie Lee Curtis?
I'm going to go with Knives Out.
You're going to say Knives Out as your first attempt to get a point, and you failed.
Okay.
Knives Out.
Knives Out.
Knives Out didn't make her top four somehow.
You can choose them.
Dom, what do you think?
Yeah, some actors can do IMDb Pro
and have their representatives or themselves
go in and set it up.
Yeah.
But Dom, you haven't done that.
You just rolled the dice.
And the photo of me on IMDb is fucking shocking me.
It is.
It's fucking awful.
What?
The photo of me on IMDb is fucking awful.
Oh, it's kind of weird, right?
It's just not complimentary in any way.
You can change it.
I can change it?
Yeah.
I had no idea.
You have to pay like 35 bucks a year or something.
Oh, fuck that.
Someone on your team has pro.
They have to.
Yeah, maybe.
I typed Dom and some guy named Dom Bergeron popped up.
Love Dom Bergeron.
He's the top Dom?
What the fuck?
This doesn't seem right.
Alright, so who?
I'm going to say
you said Jamie Lucas, right?
I'll say
Halloween.
Really?
Really?
Interesting guess.
Thank you.
Dominic.
Dominic West?
What's with these other Dominics?
It's actually Dominique West.
Ah, there you go.
Fuck him.
Oh my God, I wish...
Confirm how terrible that picture is.
That's a pretty boy right there.
Let me see, let me see.
No, that's not nice to Dom to say that.
I don't, I mean.
It just doesn't look like you.
Right, right, thank you, Julian.
I think it looks real hot.
You look like there's a guy on the new season
of Love is Blind that looks like that.
They only pick those people on hotness, so.
And I didn't look at this ahead of time
But your top four are the three
Lord of the Rings movies and Lost
Good for you
I figured that out
I'm getting so many points today
Okay so you said Halloween
Just Halloween the word Halloween
That's your answer
Well it turns out she's in two movies
Called Halloween so you are correct.
Yes.
Her number
two points.
The number one movie
on her top four
is
A Fish Called Wonder.
The Halloween
that's more recent.
Oh really?
Halloween Ends.
Not the original
the 2018 Halloween.
It was like the highest
Oh not Halloween Ends.
Yes.
Another Halloween.
Supposedly the new Halloween
is absolutely shocking. Really? Yeah Halloween Ends. Another Halloween. Supposedly the new Halloween is absolutely shocking.
Really?
Yeah, Halloween Ends.
It's really, what do you call it, polarizing.
People either hate it or they really hate it.
Did you see it, Doug?
Did you see it?
No, I haven't seen it.
I still got to catch up with Halloween Ends, which is, or wait, Kills.
Halloween Kills, then Ends. All right. Julia, which is, or wait, kills. Halloween kills, then ends.
All right.
Julia, Dom is on the board.
He's got one for Halloween, but that leaves three Jamie Lee Curtis movies that are ripe for the big time.
I thought that was two.
Oh, never mind.
It's just one title called Halloween.
Gotcha.
I'm only going to give the one point for that.
Because it was also extra easy to have guessed Halloween.
Because you had two chances at it.
What do you think, Julia?
Oh, fuck.
I don't know why, but I do want to say, and I've never even seen this movie,
but I do want to say A Fish Called Wanda.
Because I feel like that is the movie that put her on the map.
Well, I would agree with you that that was
big for her, but did not make her
top four. Fucking leave it.
Okay.
I would have assumed that it
would have been just all of those Halloween movies,
but I now assume that you would not
have been tossing around the words
Halloween kills and Halloween ends if they
were potential answers.
So I am going to go with True Lies.
Damn it.
Facts.
That is the correct answer.
Nice, guys.
That's number two.
Well played, Sid.
So Guy is on the board, and that means we're back to Dan.
and that means we're back to Dan.
So we know that someone on her team is putting new movies in there.
So I'm going to, along with that logic,
I'll go with Everything Everywhere All at Once.
I mean, that's as new as it gets.
That's brand spanking new.
April came out.
And I think she might get an Academy Award.
She's wonderful. Incredible wonderful how terrible would it be if the white person
won the Academy Award from that movie
if she wins and Michelle
Yeoh loses we're gonna get
some articles
I really hope Kikwan gets nominated
as well
absolutely
as somebody who has seen both Tar and The Fablemans
I have to say it is Michelle Yeoh's year.
She's taking it down.
Yeah, sure.
So good.
I hope you're right.
I hope you're right.
But that's the problem is that they just, you know,
the Academy likes to give awards to people who already have them.
Because Michelle Williams has already won,
but everybody's talking about her for Fablemans like she's locked.
Williamson's already won, but everybody's talking about her for Fableman's like she's
locked.
I thought the movie
should have been called We Make Up Storymans.
But they went
with something way more subtle.
I'm a writer. Oh yeah? What's your name?
Fableman. Fuck you.
What the
fuck are you talking about?
That's like if you were a library detective
and your name was Bookman.
Okay, so...
Everything Everywhere All Once did not make the list.
I'm sad to say.
But it might someday.
Dom?
I have a face full of popcorn.
Gotta finish chewing.
Man.
Okay.
Trading Places.
Oh, great answer.
Great call.
Great call.
Number four.
It's on the list.
Okay.
She gets her boobies out in Trading Places.
That's the rumor.
Yeah.
She has lovely boobies.
Yeah.
It really... It was back in the vhs days and i remember doing the rewind festival pause remind festival pause i'm gonna
add that to your imdb you got i mean i'm sure you guys remember maybe julia too but like in vhs days
even when you paused it it would jitter in the d DVD days, it sticks, but in the VHS days,
you had to get off to something that was going...
There's a scene in A Room With A View
where Simon Callow and Rupert Graves
and Julian Sands show Full Wiener and Frolic in a pond,
and I know what you're talking about.
But it was back in VHS days, guys, where it's going...
Yes, yes.
You're like, hold still!
It's too jerky for me to jerk it!
All right.
Okay, so one title, one title remains
out of all of Jamie Lee Curtis's stuff.
It's Julia's turn.
What do you think, Julia?
Wow.
Anything?
There was a sort of sequel to Fish Call Wanda.
It's not on the list.
No, it's not.
It was called Fierce Creatures and it was bad.
Yeah, but like with the same four main cast members of Wanda
playing different characters.
Like, oh, we want to see them again,
but don't do that thing you did already.
We don't like those characters that much.
I guess Kevin Kline dies in Spoiler.
I usually am good at this,
and I have such a blind spot for Jamie Lee Curtis.
This is embarrassing.
Can you give us a clue, Doug?
Or give Julia a clue?
Well, she was an actress who disappeared in 100 movies.
I know.
Was she in Clue?
No.
No.
No, she wasn't.
No. But that's Clue? No. No. No, she wasn't. No.
But that's not how this works.
You can't just say, what's she in each time.
Guy?
My guts at Scream Queens.
Oh, the TV program, the Ryan Murphy thing?
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, yeah.
Not on there.
Dan? Freaky Friday?
No.
No.
No.
Damn.
That's what I was gonna say.
But she and Lindsay Lohan are on the record saying they will make a remake or a sequel
or whatever.
Yeah, there's no other day of the week that would sound good.
Freaky Monday. Freaky Monday does sound like a horror film
I mean honestly I'm drawing a blank
I'm like you Julia I actually can't think of it
we might have to just whip right around a guy again
because he's got another one
oh am I allowed to guess again
well I mean Dom can't think of anything
I don't think I can
Julia her well is run dry I mean this isn't? Well, I mean, Dom can't think of anything. I don't think I can. Julia, her well is run dry.
I mean, this isn't the answer, but I'm going to say perfect.
It's a Jamie E. Curtis movie, but it's not on there.
No.
Yeah.
So I'm going to go ahead and move on and just announce the remaining title,
because I don't think anyone's going to come up with it,
especially the exact title.
It's Halloween H20, 20 years later.
Fuck!
Come on.
Okay, you, I was confused.
Okay, sorry.
I should have.
Good old partner.
I think Jamie Lee Curtis has been in like five or six movies
with the word Halloween in the title.
The back and forth is just crazy.
But this one they say, it said ends,
which all of them end.
They all have credits that run, and you leave.
Or if you're at home, you turn it off.
Especially if you're watching it on a streamer.
What is with the fucking streamers?
Like, don't watch these credits!
Whatever you do, get out of here!
Like, you always have to dive for the remote
to get to watch the credits.
It's fucked up.
Okay, I think Spielberg's mad about it. to die for the remote to get to watch the credits. It's fucked up. Okay.
I think Spielberg's mad about it.
Okay, so...
And I think Hulu doesn't do that.
I'm guessing.
One of them doesn't do that.
And HBO's doing
that really annoying thing now
where if you scroll down
to something,
it will, like,
get bigger and start playing
if you stick on it,
which I can't stand.
Stop it.
I want to just, like,
look at the title.
I don't want the movie to start.
HBO are doing that now.
It's a bummer.
All right, who did we leave off with?
I guess we'll just, since that one just sort of stopped,
we'll just go back to the beginning.
We'll start with Dan.
All right, Dan, are you ready?
Yeah.
This next actor,
this one's going to be a little tougher, I feel.
But we'll see what happens when I say Donald Pleasence.
I really wish I knew who that was.
Well, that's the fun part of this game,
is as we move on to the other players, you might find out.
Yeah, you might.
Because we'll come back to you.
Dom?
No.
Julia?
Okay, Guy?
The Exorcist?
No.
Dan?
Okay, so an actor not in The Exorcist,
or that is not one of their popular movies. Or he's in The Exorcist. He's not in The Exorcist. It's is not one of their most popular movies.
He's not in The Exorcist.
It's anyone's game.
The Outfit?
Oh, that movie that just came out
recently? This guy's long dead.
He's from the 70s. This guy's long dead.
Dom, do you have another guess?
Julia?
Everything Everywhere All at Once.
Back to you, Guy. I was just reading something about something Donald Pustelstein I'm mash I mean it's not in
his top four he may have been in it the guns the guns of Navarone that's a
terrific yes no come on I mean at this Doug, can we not get a clue?
Oh, no.
No, we're going to be here all night.
Who is he married to?
No, this whole thing is, I'll work this out.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
I'll host this and you guys will play.
Okay.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Wrong.
Okay, so I'm throwing over all of these
because nobody even knows who Donald Pleasance is.
Right.
Which is fine.
Sure.
But he's the star of Halloweenlloween oh halloween oh
yes the doctor dr loomis yeah yeah and he's also in a couple of classics called you only live twice
and the great escape okay his top four we're back to dan okay l l cool jay
to Dan. Okay. LL Cool J. The films of ladies love Cool James. Fucking hell. Yeah. Deep Blue. Hang on.
Nobody make a noise. Deep Blue Sea. Because Dan likes to get it correct that is the correct answer that is it
alright Dan you did it
that's his number one
that's his number one
so now Dan's on the board
but let's go to Dom
you know any LL Cool J movies?
I really don't
like Drew Barrymore at the beginning of Charlie's Angels go to Tom. I mean... You know any LL Cool J movies? I really don't.
Like, Drew Barrymore at the beginning
of Charlie's Angels
is in a LL Cool J disguise.
Like, she looks like him.
Does that count?
And then she pulls off
the LL Cool J mask.
Oh, fine.
And it's Drew Barrymore.
Then later in the same movie,
she puts...
She wants to be a man again,
and she puts a fake mustache
and a fake beard and looks like a woman pretending to be a man again and she puts a fake mustache and a fake beard and looks like a woman
pretending to be a man.
But she could look exactly like LL Cool J
earlier
in the same film.
That doesn't count.
I mean, it's not in there, no.
It's a complete guess.
Step Up.
I mean, why wouldn't LL Cool J be in Step Up?
But no, that is not it.
Julia, do you know any LL Cool J movies?
I mean, no movies are called that, but he's in some movies.
Nobody's ever like, let's check out this LL Cool J vehicle.
It's very much like
a Spike Lee joint.
Zoolander?
You just have to picture a Kangol
hat and then everything below it
is LL Cool J.
No, I know.
Was he in Zoolander?
Okay, I know I'm asking.
My guess is Zoolander.
Incorrect.
Friday? Oh. Was he in Zoo... Okay, I know I'm asking this. Your guess is Zoolander? My guess is Zoolander. Incorrect. Guy.
Friday.
Oh.
We had to double check that one, no?
Is he in Friday?
Anyone?
I don't feel like he is.
I don't...
No, it was a grossly...
Ice Cube, right?
Ice Cube.
It was a grossly racist stab in the dark.
I know.
It's...
Dan?
Halloween H20. Full title? Oh, is that not... dark it's dead for a white h2o full title Hollywood aged Halloween h2o 20
years later you're not your turn it's Dan's turn you just gave him the answer
oh thank you so much I thought it a bit. I would have said something else. Halloween H20 20 years later?
Wrong.
You already
had my best, so the second attempt
was going to be... No, that's correct.
That's so crazy.
So, okay.
I'll give Dan another point. Good call.
I know Dan is running away with this.
Grudgingly. Dom? It's more of a hobble.
It's your turn, Dom.
Okay.
Give me another LL Cool J movie.
Oh, shit.
No, I don't know.
Okay, Julia, do you have any more LL Cool Js?
Do you have any LL Cool guesses?
It'd be funny if the Js stood for Jesus.
I also feel like I'm gonna...
I'm just gonna start guessing.
It's a tough one.
I'm just gonna start guessing black movies.
Love and Basketball?
That was true.
I mean, he could have been in that.
But no, Guy, do you want to take one more swing?
No.
Wait.
I was gonna give you a clue, because you No. I was going to give you a clue
because you helped me.
Give me a clue.
Big TV.
Oh.
Come on.
Then I'll just think of Law and Order
and that's...
He's over on CBS.
Okay, then I'm going to say
NCIS.
Los Angeles.
It's not on there, Dan.
Thank you, Dan.
This is a movie database.
Yeah, but you said TV can be on there.
It could be when it's a phenomenon like Lost.
Thank you.
I am shocked NC CIS Los Angeles
is not in his top four.
The two remaining titles,
well, because they went
with movies.
That's what happens sometimes.
Mind Hunters
and,
oh, I got to get
the title right.
Deliver Us from Eva.
Yeah.
Good job, LL Cool J.
All right.
So,
Dan has two points.
Dom has one.
Guy has one.
Julia, it's always great to have you on the show.
This is absolutely humiliating.
Okay.
Dan, are you ready?
I think so.
Okay.
The films of Tyra Banks.
Oh, the tide just turned.
Halloween H20, 20 years later.
Nope.
Damn it.
Good guess, though.
You always have the popcorn at the wrong time, buddy.
He throws a big mouthful of popcorn right when it's his turn
I don't
I don't know
I don't know
Secret Life of Pets
We'll come back to you
Julia
Life Size
No
That's great
It's not
It was a Lifetime movie
about a Barbie doll
that turned into a real lady.
It's not in her top four?
By real lady, they mean Tyra Banks.
Which is all kinds
of craziness. That's not in her top four?
It's not.
It's wild.
I believe the name
of the Britney Spears vehicle that Shonda
Rimes wrote was Crossroads.
Oh, yeah. She's in that?
No.
Yeah, she's in it.
No, she isn't.
Oh, isn't she?
Does she play the Justin Long role?
Oh, sorry.
I was wrong.
I actually know.
We'll see what's going to get back to you, Dan.
America's Next Top Model.
That is correct.
We got the TV thing.
Yeah. What else, Dom? The Tyra Banks Show. model. That is correct. We got the TV thing.
Yeah.
What else, Dom?
The Tyra Banks show.
I mean, she did have a show called that, I think. I think she had a talk show
for a little while. There's not in there? Nope.
Fuck you. Kate Julia.
Coyote Ugly.
Coyote Ugly is correct. Nice.
She's on the board.
What else you got, Guy?
There's two more.
Two?
Yeah, we've got America's Next Top Model.
We did America's Next Top Model and Coyote Ugly,
and there's two more movies that Tyra was in,
according to IMDb.
I'm going to have to pass.
Damn.
Coyote Ugly 2?
It's like half a joke, guys.
You don't know either.
If there was one and she was in it,
it didn't crack her tongue.
Okay.
Back to you, Dom.
Can I get a clue?
Tyra Banks is an American supermodel.
Yeah, it's not yet.
She's on a TV show right now called Dancing with the Stars.
Yeah, it's not.
Is that your answer?
Yeah, I'll say Dancing with the Stars.
You're saying Dancing with the Stars?
Sure.
Nope. I thought it Dancing with the Stars. You're saying Dancing with the Stars? Sure. Nope.
I thought it was going to happen.
Julia.
Two more.
They might be.
Well played, Doug.
Yeah.
I think we've covered her TV career, though.
I think.
No, we haven't,
because she was famously on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
You think that's in there?
Don't do this to me.
Don't give me hope.
I'm going to say, once again, love and basketball.
I would like to say The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
It's always a fun guess, but no.
No, no, no.
No to both of those.
Dan, anything?
I think you're going to win this thing.
What if?
Scary Movie 3?
That's a good guess.
She appears, I believe, as herself in Tropic Thunder.
Really?
Yeah.
And then the fourth one is...
Godfather.
The Godfather?
That's your guess?
Yeah.
So close.
Halloween Resurrection.
Oh!
It was close.
Dan Van Kirk is our winner today!
Did it for you.
And you.
And if we needed it, I was going to have to go to Busta Rhymes,
who was in Halloween Resurrection and movies called Narc, Blade II, and Shaft.
All right.
Rest in peace.
Okay, so Dan Van Kirk,
go ahead and do your plugs.
Oh, okay.
You can listen to
Pen Pals.
It drops every single week
wherever you listen to your stuff.
It's me and Rory Scoble
answering letters
that you send us.
That's why it's called Pen Pals.
And then Dumb People Town,
the Sklar brothers and I
host that show.
We each have a story,
a dumb story
from around the news that gets sent in
and we just goof around with another great
comedic person, other than that
you can check me out November 17th
18th and 19th at the Come and Take It
Comedy Festival in
Houston, Texas, we'll be doing a lot of pen pals
and I'm headlining there as well
everything else is at danielvankirk.com
yeah, you'll be on
Doug Loves Movies too if you're still down to do that for sure, is that on Sundayvankirk.com yeah you'll be on Doug Loves Movies too
if you're still down
to do that
for sure
is that on Sunday
I think so yeah
then I'll be there
you got it
yeah we're doing
Wide World at Doug's
on Saturday
and then Doug Loves Movies
on Sunday
okay I'm there
cool
great
alright
Dominic
absolutely nothing
I'm a human
I'm great
see you later
I know you just came here to use the restroom and eat popcorn Dominic? Absolutely nothing. I'm a human. I'm great. See you later.
I know you just came here to use the restroom and eat popcorn.
But thank you so much for coming. Always a pleasure.
Appreciate it.
Julia Clare, great first-time live audience appearance.
They clearly love you.
No, no, no.
What would you like to promote? Do you have any other friends that have podcasts you're not on
I will be on
Lost
it's a podcast where I can't find the TV
no I
write the daily newsletter for Crooked Media, the What A Day newsletter.
It's recapping the day news with jokes.
It's really fun, and I get to put a lot of stupid things in there.
If you want to subscribe to it, it's at crooked.com slash newsletters.
And you can follow me for all my other dates on Twitter at OhJuliaTweets.
O-H Julia Tweets.
And that's it.
It's a good follow, everybody.
Guy Branum.
Buy Bros from iTunes or Amazon or wherever you buy movies.
Buy it and watch it.
It's very funny.
I like it.
I am in about seven minutes of the movie.
Thank you.
So is Judi Dench, and that worked out.
What?
Judi Dench was in like seven minutes of the movie,
and that worked out well for her.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
You crush as hard as she does.
Thank you.
I expect to be nominated for but not win Best Supporting Actress
this year for the same reason
as...
They gave it to a lady once with a shorter performance
than yours, Beatrice Strait.
Beatrice Strait for Network. Don't fucking
come for me.
I'm sorry I dropped the ball on Donald Pleasance.
He's't been around
for a minute.
Also, it's just so funny that the thing
was so pitched towards you have to know Halloween
movies and clearly none of you do.
So that
ended up being super fun.
Where's the winner? Who were you playing
for, Dan? Right over here.
Oh my God.
Bob.
Bob and Jess drove so far to get this crate
and take it back home with them.
Congratulations.
Well done.
Don't get it wet.
Don't feed it after midnight.
They do not like bright lights.
He's talking about the James Corden microphone that's in there.
They hate horrible food service.
All right, so we'll be back here again next month on November 12th.
And thank you, Dynasty Typewriter. One more time for all of my guests, Dominic, Daniel, Guy, and Julia.
As always,
only your mother truly loves you.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes above his viewing prowess makes him foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.