Doug Loves Movies - Guy Branum, Paget Brewster, Jon Hamm, Samm Levine and Dustin Ybarra guest
Episode Date: July 18, 2022Live from Dynasty Tyewriter in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes Guy Branum, Paget Brewster, Jon Hamm, Samm Levine and Dustin Ybarra to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies ...on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
But Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Nice.
Coming to you once again in front of a live audience
at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles.
Yes.
We are doing it.
It's very exciting.
So happy to be here.
It's Sunday, July 17th, 2022.
And let's start off with everybody's favorite part of the show.
That's when I do my plugs.
Yeah, let's get those out of the way right now.
Doug plugs!
I like that.
I like that enthusiasm
on a Sunday afternoon.
I'm going to be doing two Doug Loves Movies
during Comic Con down in San Diego
at the American Comedy Company
this Wednesday,
July 20th at 8 o'clock
and then Saturday
afternoon, July 23rd at 4.20
so if you're down there for Comic Con
want to sit down and laugh for a couple
hours, come on by
if you're not down there for Comic Con
you can still come by
it's not an official
Comic Con event
so you don't need no stinking
badge or anything
and Doug Loves Movies is going to be right back here at Dynasty Typewriter on Sunday Yeah, so you don't need a stinking badge or anything.
And Doug Loves Movies is going to be right back here at Dynasty Typewriter on Sunday, August 14th at 420.
For all my dates and deets, be sure to go to DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com!
Yeah!
Ta-da!
Wallet!
Shh!
Ted Danson?
Very nice.
I heard some people asking questions
while that was happening.
Like, what are all these words
everybody's saying?
Why is this?
What kind of cult
did you drag me to?
What kind of shit am I getting into right now?
Well, I'll tell you, if you're uninitiated,
somebody today is going to go home with this,
it's normally a bag of prizes,
but I've accumulated so much stuff over the last couple years
that I've now upgraded to this,
I'm going to give away this crate.
This crate full of stuff.
Let me save the best thing for last here.
Put that over there.
Doesn't that look like a nice box?
It's not a Fabergé egg.
Settle down.
But, no, there's some cool things in here.
There's like a training lead rope for,
it's an official Cesar Millan dog whisperer,
whatever he calls himself.
It's a official rope that he came up with.
There's a small mallet that says Killing Eve on it.
And it looks like it has blood on it, too,
so I don't know exactly what went down there.
A copy of a friend of the show, Justin Long,
is in a movie called The Wave,
and there's a copy of that in the prize box.
I had to get rid of this,
because there's no way I was going to eat it.
It's caviar.
But it says on it, black ants.
So, yeah, so I guess it's black ants inside of the caviar.
Like, I don't need an ant inside of an egg.
What kind of nonsense?
So, get out of here here i don't want you um but here's
something that i almost did keep it's so cool but i said fuck it doug you gotta you know you can't
just keep everything and uh speaking of everything this is a book about the movie everything everywhere
all at once yeah and look at it. Even the cover
is like trippy and it's in plastic.
I didn't even take it out of the plastic so if you're like
the kind of person who wants to do a resale
situation
I am hooking
you up. And then
we also got some, a few
various CBD oils
that you can
try and then I don't want to pull it all the way out of the crate,
but it's a full-blown board game called the Lie Detector Game.
Yeah.
It's just been sitting in my home,
and I've just been looking at it going,
I'm not going to play the Lie Detector Game.
If someone finally comes over to my home after all this time, the first thing we're going to do
is not play a game about lying.
But I'm not lying
when I tell you that the final prize
that's going
into the crate today
is one of a kind.
It's actually two of a kind
because I gave one to Paget Brewster backstage,
and the other one is going to be won by somebody here today.
It's a Paget Brewster nightlight.
Yeah.
So you'll have one, and she'll have one.
So if you're a fan, it doesn't get any creepier than that
just have your
nightlight that you can look at
at night and think is she looking
at her nightlight
of her face
but she's
one of I'm not trying to
you know exclude her or make her special, but she is.
And I knew that would be fun.
Oh, the name of the company that makes it is called Glass Action.
So look them up on the socials.
And you can order anything, like a picture of your cat or a corpse,
whatever you want to turn into a nightlight, there's a good chance that
it can be done.
Are you ready to meet our guests today?
Oh boy, what a lineup.
Four of them are here now out of five, so that's a good turnout.
We'll see what happens
as we move forward, but I'm going to say
all their names anyway
because sometimes miracles
happen. Please,
give it up, everybody.
For Guy
Branham, Padgett Brewster, John
Hamm, Sam Levine, and
Dustin Ibarra!
He made it!
Oh my goodness.
This is like a Christmas miracle
because the ham has arrived.
Hey, buddy, was there a traffic situation out there?
Parking, yeah, traffic.
Parking, traffic, the whole thing. Classic Sunday, right, guys?
I don't know who's had...
You shut up! I mean, whatever he said, I meant. I don't know who's that. You shut up.
I mean, whatever he said, I meant.
I didn't mean you shut up.
I meant whatever nice thing John said.
All right, let's meet everybody individually and alphabetically.
Right?
Gets tricky.
By last name.
By last name, of course.
Yeah, you got snaked.
Yes, give it up everybody
for our first time guest on the show.
Guy Branum is here.
Hello, good to be here.
Thank you for joining us.
Thank you for having me.
Star of the new motion picture, Bros,
in theaters September 30th.
September 30th, everybody.
I've seen the commercials.
They're very clear that it was produced
by straight white men who know how to make comedies.
They make that very clear in the ads,
but the movie looks great.
Billy Eichner, of course, is the main bro.
Yes.
Main bro of all the bros.
Writer and producer as well.
I can't wait to see it.
Dazzling film.
Thank you for...
You've seen it already?
Yes, we've all been hungry for a rom-com.
Netflix has been giving us, you know, methadone rom-coms,
but we need something
real.
And it's also not,
you know, centered around a holiday.
It seems like that's a weird gateway into
gay movies on
the streamers, is if it's like a
Christmas gay thing or something.
Rose is just any time of year it wants to be.
Exactly, yeah.
Looks like it's summer though.
I mean, it was the autumn
when we filmed it, but we were trying to make
it feel like summer. Very outdoorsy
it looks like.
Well, thank you for joining us today.
I can't believe this is your first time on the show
and I appreciate that it's finally happened. Well, thank you for joining us today. I can't believe this is your first time on the show.
And I appreciate that it's finally happened.
Well, thank you for having me.
I mean, you already win Most Polite Guest Ever Award.
Thank you.
Very succinct in your replies.
You get in, you get out.
Things will get salty later, Doug.
Don't question that.
Okay.
Yeah, because what are you, what's that you're drinking?
Oh, I am drinking a Paloma that was in a can in the low refrigerator in the back.
Yeah, so you're going to get wasted.
Probably.
On that tiny, I got a tiny Paloma working too.
Let's just chug them.
Let's get effed up. Look at this tiny Paloma. That's a tiny Paloma. Is it 12%? Tiny grapefruit Paloma working too. Let's just chug them. Let's get effed up.
Look at this tiny Paloma.
Is it 12%?
It's 14%?
It's 16% alcohol. I don't know.
This isn't an auction for how much alcohol
is in it.
I've been 18%.
I've been 19%.
Sold at 22%.
That guy's gonna get
fucked up on a Paloma.
Next up for bid, a watery
margarita.
Because that's what those are on.
They have those back there too.
Yeah, so if you finish your Paloma
guy, be sure to
go ahead and grab another one.
I'll drink what I feel like drinking, Doug.
I don't get it.
Don't pressure me.
I don't get offended by people just getting up and walking off the stage
because I know you're professional and you'll come back
with a bigger, better Paloma.
The person who thought she might be first alphabetically,
which is how she's led her entire life.
That's a good biography time for you.
I thought I was first.
It's Padgett Brewster, everybody!
Hello!
So excited.
Am I on? I'm on.
Not first.
But you had a little time to prepare while Guy was talking
I loved it
what would you like to say?
I'm supposed to say something now?
I'm just here to win
everyone has to have an opening statement
I'm happy to be here
I think these lights are new
no
no?
are they old?
no
well they're made to look old,
but they're new-ish to when the theater reopened, I believe.
So they are new here?
No.
No.
I don't remember ever being on stage here
and not seeing those adorable little clamshells
that are perfect for, if anybody gets mad for some reason,
they're great for kicking.
Like, if those things were in a...
If this was a movie right now,
King Kong or somebody's gonna get upset
and kick the shit out of those things.
There would be the daintiest King Kong.
You know, what's his name?
Frankenstein's monster in Young Frankenstein.
You know, one of those blows.
That blows a fuse and he loses his mind.
All right.
Thank you for your opening statement.
That's not really a thing on the show.
I was just joking around.
But yours led to a lot
of great conversation and
fun times
we won't soon forget.
Also joining us
like a superhero himself
making the traffic and the parking
and everything work right down to the
wire like the superstar
that he is it's John Hamm
everybody
hi buddy
it's nice to see you and you finally hit your casual phase.
I'm appreciating your mid-career vetter.
You have to...
Temple of the dog era.
You have to...
Better.
It's a thinker.
You have to...
You know...
You have to get dressed up for all the events and stuff you go to.
So it must be fun to just wear the jeans and the untucked shirt.
It's a Sunday.
Come on.
Yeah.
Sunday fun day.
Sunday fun day.
Just driving around.
Parking.
Top down. Do you top down Just driving around. Parking. Top down?
Do you top down it?
Not in this car.
That'd be hard.
You need a chainsaw.
All right.
I didn't mean to pry.
We don't need any more personal information.
Oh, but is that you behind those Foster Grants?
I don't know what brand those are.
He even did the look, you guys.
Did you see that?
He did it, which is so fun in a podcast.
On a podcast medium.
There'll be plenty of visual jokes
for the people at home to not get.
I like to do 20 minutes of Sam Neill
taking off his sunglasses in Jurassic Park.
Because it's such a fun visual joke
that the listeners can't get enough of.
Also joining us today is...
We're getting into champion territory here now
because this gentleman recently won...
Oh, Padgett's already disgusted.
He always wins. He just can't get over him being called a junkdaman. Recently won. Oh, Padgett's already disgusted.
He always wins.
Can't get over him being called a junk demon.
He doesn't always win, but he mostly wins.
It's Sam Levine, everybody! Hi, everyone.
Doug, here's my opening statement.
Oh, I thought you might have one,
whether I wanted it or not.
Nearly four years ago was the last time
Senor Hamm and I did one of your
Doug Loves Movies shows at a previous location,
and he left this beautiful, very nice
Contigo travel mug.
And I took control of the mug. And in ownership ownership possession is nine-tenths of the law
and uh but it's it's all i've just been holding it for him and so for nearly four long years i've
had this thing i've tried desperately to give it back to john and uh i was so excited about today's
show because i knew he'd be here and so we put it in my wife's purse so that we would not forget it
on our way to the show.
And she's not feeling well today,
so I came alone, and the mug...
is in that purse.
Fates does not want a reunion.
Weird, because in Spanish, contigo means with you,
not with your fucking sick wife.
John, she's being sick all over that thing. Once I told her it was your mug, not with your fucking sick wife. Oh, shit.
John, she's being sick all over that thing.
Once I told her it was your mug, ooh, boy.
It sounds like someone was excited about getting this mug.
You're a little disappointed by this turn of events. I heard a rumor that the $12 mug from Target
was coming back to me after four long years.
Is this mug like infinity stones?
Do I have to keep track of it
for future episodes of Doug Loves Movies?
I want proof that your wife is sick.
I want proof that you have a wife.
That seems fishy.
He just got married just to make this scam work.
Damn right.
Anything rule. FaceTime with Ham. Anything.
He is not giving up that mug.
I just wish we could cut to her just in bed sipping soup out of it.
Well, thank you, Sam, for your triumphant return.
You won on this stage a mere month ago.
We're trying to do these monthly here now.
And a month ago you won, and then you came back on one of the Zoom shows and won again.
So it's just been undeniable that we had
to have you back
to this stage.
Thank you. I'm very happy to be here.
Alright, well you already made your statement.
Let's move on. That's it. I'm done, yeah.
There's no reason for a backup statement.
But guess what everybody?
There isn't just one champion here.
I mean, they're all champions in my heart.
But on paper, in the stats, we have another champ.
The winner of the most recent episode.
Sam couldn't be there.
But instead, another champion rose from the ashes.
You should probably get a little of those ashes out of your hair.
It's Dustin Ibarra, everybody!
I gotta say, I love rising from ashes, bro. All right, you're just dusty, man.
Yeah, bro, look at us, Doug.
Just look at us.
That's why I put on a hat today, because I thought I was going to get dusty.
Uh-oh.
I love how Jon Hamm
dresses like me on Sundays.
That's pretty fun.
Like,
that says,
I'm going to dress like
a piece of fucking shit today.
Who do I...
This is my normal wardrobe.
He's like,
how do I just be
a normal fucking numbing?
What's up, man?
How...
How often do you misplace stuff in your own hair?
Oh, my goodness.
I mean, it can hold three pencils and one pen, you know?
And I always lose them.
Holy shit, you are ready when you find them,
all those pencils and pens.
Boom.
That is so much writing material.
But are there sunglasses in your hair right now?
No.
Oh, just regular glasses.
These are normal glasses.
In case I have to audition for something real quick.
I could just kind of...
Look at you.
Holy shit, he's an account all of a sudden.
I know, right?
The numbers don't add up.
Right? Come on.. Oh my god. The numbers don't add up, right?
Right?
You know?
Come on.
They've been in it.
That's good acting.
I like that you're wearing the glasses.
This isn't for me.
You're a bear.
You're so method getting ready for this audition.
You're just walking around with the glasses on.
You know what?
To be honest, whenever I eat, it gets in my face.
So I put this thing here and it like, I eat a lot of liquid my face, so I put this thing here. I eat a lot of
liquidy food, like nachos.
I eat a lot of
liquidy stuff.
Name them. Name four.
Nachos.
That's the first choice for liquidy food.
Hang on, we didn't get any further than nachos.
Four liquidy foods.
Slushies.
Slushies, nachos. Everything is 7-eleven pretty much can be
can be liquid you should investigate the straw paper or plastic
dealer's choice don't do it don't do it it'll give you these lines on your top lip
and you don't want to go to burbank. I just heard lines and dealers at the same time
and I'm ready to go.
Straws, straws,
give you lip lines.
Straws.
Okay.
I'm serious.
You must have never
used a straw in your life.
Yeah.
You goddamn brilliant
beautiful man.
Am I going to get...
Now I'm worried.
Am I going to get lip lines from sucking tiny dicks?
Tiny's better than too big.
Finally!
We are here making decisions
that the rest of the world
is just going to have to live with.
But yeah, I mean,
don't get me started about
a thick shake
and trying to get it through a straw.
Like an Oreo cookie shake.
You ever try to get one of those through a straw?
No, I'm not into that.
It's insane.
It's almost like
a hemorrhoid on your face.
Oh my god.
It's exactly like a hemorrhoid on your face.
Because, you know,
everything inside starts to come out
into the straw.
That's a fistula.
You might be doing it wrong.
It's so nasty.
Is this a jack-in-the-box shake?
Jack-in-the-box, yes.
No, no, no. I like the argument that a shake
isn't well made unless your face prolapses.
That's the word I was looking for.
I got prolapsed mouth.
Professional lapse.
From a shake.
Yes, if you want to say the whole thing,
it was a professional lapse.
Have we met everybody?
I think we have.
We did it.
So that takes us to the next portion of the show.
Before we get to the games,
I like to find out...
Do you hate the word
portion as much as I do?
Wait, is portion
your moist portion?
Portion is so much
worse than moist.
Explain how.
How can it be worse than moist?
Moist is lovely.
Moist you want sometimes. I mean, a portion
you can keep it dry, but moist?
You're fucked. It's just moist.
Portion is like, you get a little portion before you go hiking.
You get a portion of dates.
Oh, this seems like old trauma.
It needs to be unpacked.
Padgett's backstage. I haven't got an acting job in three years. old trauma that needs to be unpacked.
Padgett's backstage.
I haven't got an acting job in three years.
Portion is...
If you look at the word portion...
Did you say
a portion of dates?
It's just like, where would someone give
you a portion? Is that like a flock of
seagulls? Oh, that was
the first concert I ever went to.
And what did you bring to eat?
A portion of dates.
Portion of peanuts.
I'm from Massachusetts.
I don't even know what that meant.
Doug? Yes? Go!
Oh.
I just wanted to make sure we were
you know
finished with this portion
I'm sorry
ah
you son of a bitch
before moving on
sorry
just have to make sure
everybody's okay
and
if everybody's
emotionally
available to recommend a film in fact let's start down on the other end there and if everybody is emotionally available
to recommend a film.
In fact, let's start down on the other end there with Sammy.
Let's go, Sam.
Recommend one movie.
One movie and one movie alone.
I'm recommending Kingsman, The Golden Circle.
Oh.
Is that Kingsman 2 in some circles?
It is.
That's the second Kingsman. In some circles? It is.
That's the second Kingsman.
In this golden circle, it's the second film, yes.
And then the third one's like a prequel?
It is, just called The King's Man.
The King's Man.
Yeah.
I mean, they really... They're going out of their way to make it confusing
with the titles of these films.
A little bit, I think.
It's kind of a fuck you, the titles of these movies. Yeah. bit, I think. It's kind of a fuck you,
the titles of these movies.
Yeah.
Like, figure it out.
They're supposed to add words to the title,
not take them away.
Right.
And men, man, men, man,
like, what are you doing?
What are they doing?
Come on.
Quit fucking around.
They're fucking with you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're misogynistic, too,
you know.
Yeah.
Kings and men,
they're both men.
Like, come on.
Let's get a queen in there.
We can't do that?
The queen's handmaids or some shit?
I don't know.
I don't know what you women like.
You know.
Someone's own sewing or some shit.
Wow.
Come on.
A few words from today's movie executive.
No one listens to these things
unless someone's big as a...
Oh, no!
Yeah, we gotta watch what we're saying.
Can you delete that part?
My girlfriend's here.
I don't let her come to the shows,
but she's in the car.
She's listening in the car
to another show
yeah this isn't live or anything she's listening to your mom's house right now
so i already forgot what you recommended king's men the golden circle oh okay all right kingsman
two uh all right elton john is in it that's why that's why you like it yeah he's real silly in
i love elton john, you're right.
He does have kind of a more substantial
role than you would think. Yeah. And he gets to
yell at people and swear and stuff. It's true.
So I guess that's why they call it the blues.
That was pretty solid,
but a lot of people here today are still
parking their cars.
Thank you for your recommendation, Sam.
My pleasure.
I do not want another.
Is it Green Eggs and Ham?
What's that?
Never mind.
No.
Guy, do you have a movie
that you could recommend?
Preferably a better one than Sam's.
Better than Elton John in it.
You're not going to like it better than Sam's.
I have a question for you, Doug Benson.
Okay.
Do you like sex comedies?
For purposes of this, just say yes.
I like five comedies.
I like seven comedies.
But mostly, I like six comedies.
Do you like Holocaust movies?
Oh.
Wow.
See, this is when they get you.
They go, will you take a five minute survey?
And the second question
is fucking, do you like
Holocaust movies?
Can't believe I said yes. Now
I'm committed.
No, I don't.
I mean, that's trouble. I don't like
them. I don't give them a thumbs up.
I mean, like, embrace the
horror washing over you, Doug Benson.
Let me tell you guys about 1989's Enemy's A Love Story.
Ron Silver is a Holocaust survivor
whose wife died in the Holocaust.
Now he's married to the illiterate Polish woman
who kept him alive, but he's fucking Lena Ohlin,
who is a nihilistic, extremely, like, intellectual Jewish lady
who lives in Manhattan.
He lives at Coney Island.
And then, one day, his dead wife shows up at the door.
It's a real good movie.
It's a really fun, black-as-possible comedy,
like sex comedy.
It's so good.
And the best part is
you can only currently watch it
on Pluto TV.
So every 15 minutes
you get three Activia commercials.
Enemy's a Love Story.
Check it out today.
I'm familiar with that film.
Enemy's a Love Story.
This is a real list.
For those of you listening at home,
Doug has serial killer scrawl
on a piece of photo paper
that he's adding to.
Some of them are symbols.
Like he's writing like a...
Like a Zodiac letter.
It just says,
Jeremy Spoke in class today.
Temple of the dog,
Jeremy Spoke.
Something's happening to Doug.
Come, Spookman.
I just so happen to be working on a musical.
It's called...
It's called Manifest.
Oh!
You should just yield to that.
It was another album.
Ah.
Seriously, park your cars and come in and enjoy.
We got some great comedy going on.
So much fun.
Dustin?
What's up, man?
Oh, dude, I saw the movie Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.
You guys see that movie?
Very awesome. Very cool, badass movie, man. I bought Everything Everywhere All at Once. You guys see that movie? Very awesome.
Very cool, badass movie, man.
I bought it like two days ago.
I think it's going to be free in like three days, but whatever.
I'm not a patient dude, you know?
It was a really good movie.
Have you ever done Acid?
It's like that, right?
Where it's like everything, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba,
everything all at once at the same time, you know? Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, everything all at once
at the same time, you know?
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I had
watching it.
Oh, it's very,
I love how every movie now
has, like, another dimension.
Every movie is like,
there's another multiverse,
you know?
Frankly, I've had enough
of multiverses.
Fuck yeah, right?
Like, everything everywhere
all at once was so good,
but Dodger Strange, I was like, I don't care anymore.
Dude, exactly.
If you kill this, like, you're just doing Rick and Morty episodes at this point in time.
Bro, yes, dude.
Right now, we're doing Doug Loves Cucumbers in another fucking planet right now with John
Turkey and fucking Zhazhe and girl
Dynam. I don't know.
Cam Levenstein.
Perfect.
Tired of these multiverses, bro.
First of all, I wish people named their daughters
girl. That would be amazing.
See, in the joke,
I tried to go the opposite. Guy, girl, you know.
Comedy 101, brother.
Have you,
so you saw it
in a motion picture theater?
Oh, you bought it.
Yeah, I bought it on Amazon.
You own it.
I watched it on a Game Boy.
I watched it on a Game Boy Color.
It was awesome.
So anytime you're in the mood
for sausage fingers,
you can just turn that on and watch them wiggle.
Brave writer.
Like, if I would have said that, they'd be like,
Dustin, get out of here with your fucking sausage finger ideas again.
It's so universally beloved, this movie,
that it comes up as one of the recommended movies
almost every week on this show.
It's one of the panelists.
It's got a good message, too. It's like,
be kind to everyone and stuff.
I thought the message was, don't fucking give yourself paper cuts.
That is
insane, man. Stop it.
Stop.
I was speaking
in that tone during that entire scene.
This is insane. I'd like you to stop it. Listen was speaking in that tone during that entire scene. This is insane.
I'd like you to stop it.
Listen, short round.
You're making me very unhappy,
cutting yourself with a piece of paper.
Hold on to your potatoes!
And then he did it again.
I wish he cut up some potatoes with that paper
instead of his own hands.
Can I ask you to stop?
Because...
I don't know.
You really had enough?
Yeah.
Well, no.
I've heard over and over again
while winning and losing
Doug Loves Movies
that everyone loves
Everything Everywhere
All at Once
and I bought it
and I don't get it.
I don't get it.
Oh, shit.
Now, listen.
Now, in my defense,
until I go back to a really hard job that I love,
I drink white wine and I cook and I feed squirrels.
And so by eight o'clock at night,
when my husband wants to watch-
Stars, they're just like us.
By the time we're ready to start watching-
Squirrels, they're just like stars.
I just don't get it.
But I own it, I bought it, I'll watch it.
But then I put on Boogie Nights,
and I really like that.
I put on Boogie Nights anyway sometimes.
It's a good movie!
Yeah!
Paget, did you watch it and you weren't connected
or you just started it and then you turned it off?
I started and I watch it for a few minutes
and I go, oh God, I've never done acid
and I don't know what's going on.
And I know everyone here is great,
but I just don't know if I can follow this right now
because I was just watching Top Chef for three hours
and drinking white wine.
So I think I'm going to have to hold off on this.
Evelyn was robbed last season.
Oh, Top Chef?
Top Chef, yes.
I didn't really like that season.
I go right back to season one and I watch them all in a row.
I've watched 400.
Paget and I are starting a podcast right now.
Woo!
Guy, et page.
Those are our French names It's called
Whispering about Top Chef
Because
You got very quiet
And the audience
Decided to follow suit
Oh god damn it
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
My recommendation
Is Boogie Nights
You don't have to
Throw yourself on
Previous recommendations
Like you didn't have to
Tell us
Your true feelings
About everything Everywhere I genuinely was hoping One person In the audience Would tell me They didn't have to tell us your true feelings about everything everywhere.
I genuinely was hoping
one person in the audience
would tell me
they didn't get it either.
I'm sure that there is
a person like that that exists.
Thank you!
But they're not going to
jump up and say
I didn't like it either
because they're not stupid.
Didn't get it yet.
At some point,
we'll watch it
and we'll get it.
We're just not there right now.
And that's okay.
Let's smoke some weed, guys. And we'll get it. I think step one to getting it is watching'll get it. We're just not there right now. And that's okay. Let's smoke some weed, guys.
And we'll get it. I think step one to
getting it is watching all of it.
It's interesting
to watch some of it and go, oh, I don't
get it.
For Patrick, it was some things
most of the places at some times.
It's like, I started this puzzle,
I put a few pieces down.
Is this going to be a picture?
I don't know.
This doesn't look like Mickey Mouse.
There's no way to know
if it's going to make sense ever to me,
so I should probably just give up.
It's overwhelming,
but also that's part of why
it's a fun movie to see in the theater
because you're sort of trapped
by how, you know, multi it is. You have to be in the theater because you're sort of trapped by how multi it is.
You have to be in the experience in the theater.
It's really, it's just a super
fun movie and you're missing out.
I believe you.
I don't think people should be mad at somebody for not
you know, it gives you a chance
to act superior. I'm so mad I could
kick a seashell. You didn't get it?
I liked it.
I liked it. I liked it.
Us smart people liked it
is what I'm trying to say.
That's fair.
I'm all right with it.
People love to do that.
They love to have that
high horse they can get on
just because
when you say you didn't get it.
So instead you have to say
that movie sucks.
No, I don't think it sucks.
I think I'll be into it.
That's what I did with Toy Story.
I'm like,
this is above my pay grade.
This is my wall.
Okay.
Did you recommend a movie, Paz?
It was Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
It was Boogie Nights.
Sort of a sideways recommendation. You officially went Boogie Nights.ogie Nights it was Boogie Nights sort of sideways
Boogie Nights
you officially
went Boogie Nights
Sam Levine
what year
1997
nice
and the director
was
Paul Thomas Anderson
nice
beautiful
computer man
oh no
that's
guys it was a great
year for movies
he's an android
it really was
yeah
yeah
Senior Ham
oh I like the way you talk to him are yeah. Yeah. Senior Ham.
Oh, I like the way you tossed to him.
Are we moving on to senior Ham? No, I like that.
Great toss.
No, I used to be a talk show host.
Wow, the old toss and touch.
I was so close
to grabbing that seat, too.
Ah!
It could have been me!
Ah!
close to grabbing that seat too.
It could have been me!
Yeah, she was just indiscriminately grabbing to the right.
Or left. To her left.
John.
Doug. Could you recommend a movie?
I can.
I had one queued up and then I feel like
everything everywhere all at once kind of undercut it,
but it was going to be this movie called Swiss Army Man,
which was a previous film by the Daniels.
And it's a really good movie,
and it's an unexpectedly affecting movie.
I was like, the setup is that it's about a farting corpse.
We have a question on the movie. I was like, the setup is that it's about a farting corpse. We have a question on the floor.
Somebody would like to know.
And yet by the end of the movie,
it's a surprisingly emotional journey.
I didn't even get this audition.
You go through this farting corpse
played by Harry Potter.
Yeah.
I enjoyed it very much
and I went,
these guys are ones to watch.
I watched them, I did, and this is what they came up with. Yeah, and the Daniels came back with Everything Everywhere.
Oh, it's the same director!
Oh, I liked Swiss Army Man!
Yes, there you go!
So maybe watch it as a warm-up
the next time you watch everything everywhere,
and you can kind of just cruise right in from one end to the other.
They also directed the video for Turn Down for What?
Which is a really cool video.
Turn Down for What?
It was for Turn Down for What? It was for turn down for what?
What?
What?
It's a weird song because there's literally one lyric in it.
Fire for now.
Well.
And let the body use something.
Turn down for what?
You just have to figure out how to spell.
I like the reggaeton version turn down for k
but every other word is in english
it took seven seconds i feel like we're done with this portion i think so
i think we wrapped up that portion nicely man I've never been to a bad dinner party.
Because my friends don't have kitchens, but...
I don't like it.
Wait, what's it called again?
Wishy-washy man?
Swiss Army man.
The idea is he has multiple uses, like a Swiss Army knife,
so they use him as a jet ski
because he farts
Okay
You get it
I hate
The logic of all of that
is really good
I hate
two boy directing teams
so much
because like
truly anyone else
trying to make a movie
in Los Angeles
has to spend like
years writing
a thousand different outlines explaining everything and I feel like two boys get in a room has to spend like years writing a thousand different outlines explaining
everything and I feel like two boys get in a room and they're like he farts for two hours
and the execs are like absolutely like you know um those poor Wachowskis you know 20 years ago
they were able to say he takes a pill and then the world isn't, and they were like, make a movie.
And now they're just two gals trying to make a film in Los Angeles, and that's not
going to work out well.
What if instead of a pill, it was a suppository?
That'd be funny, right?
Like, ah, you gotta get this, oh,
bro! Easy time for a reboot.
Well, those are some
terrific recommendations.
It was a wonderful
portion
of the show. And I even
wrote down your recommendations in the wrong
place. This is just a
disaster. Let's go to a commercial.
We gotta go to a commercial break. We'll be right
back!
We're back, everybody!
What a fun,
fun commercial break.
We learned about Guy Branum's
white-hot hatred of the film
Rudy.
If you ever, ever have the chance
to hold up a poster for the movie Rudy
in front of him,
do not do it.
He turned instead to
someone who just has on their phone
that it's for the person sitting next to them.
Someone named Jay.
Padgett's playing for someone that goes by three Armandos instead of Amigos.
And John is playing for Flaxidentally Yours.
Flaxidental Tourist.
Flaxidental Love.
Flaxidental Love.
Flaxidental Love.
Sam's playing for Joaquin Orange Clock Orange
Joaquin.
That was exactly it.
And Dustin is playing for Joe.
Yeah.
Because Joe brought, how much cash did it take?
Five dollars.
Five bucks you took for Joe?
I didn't take it. Don't act like I fucking robbed him.
It was thrown onto the stage.
You didn't throw it.
I showed my breasts to him
and he gave me the money.
Great breasts.
Thank you.
Fair enough.
Let's play some games.
Yeah.
This first one is a classic from back in the day.
In fact, there's been disputes over who invented this game,
so that's why it goes by the name
Alex's, Jason, and Deb's IMDb game.
All right.
IMDb, of course course short for
I am da best
yep that's why we're playing it for you today
John because you are
da best
okay
so
here's how the game works.
Internet movie database.
You're familiar with it, Pat?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
That IMDB.
They think they know it all.
And they will put for each actor, actress who's on their site,
they will list most known for,
and four titles generally will pop up
as the things that that person's most known for,
according to IMDb or according to...
Do you have IMDb Pro?
Yeah, we have to do it ourselves.
You have Pro?
Yeah.
So you go in and pick yours?
Yeah, I picked it.
You picked your top four.
It's always interesting
when you look at any actor's top four,
it's interesting to think,
did they pick that themselves
or does that feel more like...
Well, agents also can override it.
The agents and the algorithm.
No, if you put up a photo they don't like,
they'll put up a photo they like.
Right.
Because they're agents.
They got to do something.
Jerks.
What's the game? don't like they'll put up a photo they like right yes they're agents they got to do something jerks they gotta just sit around play these weird computer games all day where they change your picture if they don't like it what a
great agent all right so I'm going to name start naming the best known for
from somebody's IMDB page.
As soon as you think you know whose
page it is. Oh, that's a good
game. That's a good game. I haven't heard this one.
You buzz in with your own name
when you want to guess.
Like for instance, Sam!
Oh God, I have to guess already.
Jesus, I can't believe I rang in so soon.
That wasn't you, that was me doing it. I have to guess already. Jesus. I can't believe I rang in so soon. That wasn't you.
That was me doing you.
Oh, gosh.
I get so lost.
Okay.
Wait, how do we ring in?
We raise our hand?
You say your own name.
You yell your own name.
I yell my own name?
Do you remember what he just said?
Like, literally just said?
No, I thought you were joking.
Like, I'm going to name a movie.
No, but right before that, remember when he said that you would say your own name?
No, I didn't get it.
I didn't get it. Okay. I should have used you as a say your own name? No, I didn't get it. I didn't get it.
I should have used you
as the name.
Or Samson.
Say pageant.
Pageant.
Pageant like that.
Means I'm ready to answer.
As soon as you know it, yeah.
But then you've got to answer.
I thought we were supposed
to yell who the person
in the movie is.
No, don't do that.
I'm not in that movie.
I know whatever he's
going to say,
I'm not in that movie.
Don't do that.
Got it.
Yell out your name
then when I call on you
in an orderly manner
don't run up and down the aisles.
The trouble with normal.
You would say
Paget.
Hank Azaria.
Okay.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Were we just talking about
the trouble with normal?
Yes we were.
Wait were you on that too?
Yeah that's where we met.
Yeah.
Yeah that's right.
Yeah.
Oh my god no
we've known each other a long time.
You know what?
I was on it too.
I was in the pilot and got fired.
Yeah.
Wait, you were?
Twice.
Oh, my God.
Listen.
Listen.
If you're around long enough, you're going to get fired.
I mean, am I right?
It just happens.
It just happens, man.
It's just going to happen, you guys. It's really the trouble with normal is people. Just enough for drugs, alcohol're going to get fired. I mean, I'm not around. It just happens. It just happens, man. It's just going to happen,
you guys.
It's really the trouble with normal is people.
Just enough for drugs,
alcohol.
It happens, dude.
You just, come on.
They don't put you
in a trailer
so that you can come out of it.
You go in there
and you stay there
until they tell you
to go home.
Have you seen people
that live in trailers?
It's like,
that's what they want
to do to us, you know?
It's brutal.
Okay, so,
but if you guess wrong,
Paget,
this is the important part.
If you guess wrong,
it's a negative point,
so you don't want to,
you don't want to jump in
too early and guess incorrectly.
So there is something to lose.
Got it.
So there are four,
there are four things,
and you're going to go
from the fourth,
or are you going to go
right to left or left to right? Left to right. Got it. So there are four things and you're going to go from the fourth or you're going to go right to left or left to right?
Left to right. Copy.
I'm never even
sure if IMDb claims that
the one all the way furthest to the left
is the number one because they don't put numbers
on them. They just say best known for.
And some people only have
three things or two
which is, yeah
Sorry Liam Neeson
Some of the audience felt the pain of that
Yeah, it's too bad he wasn't in more than just
Taken and Taken 2
The search for Curly's gold
That's all his agent
He's only got two because that's what his agent wants to highlight
Let's just keep him in the Taken
We have the same agent
Let's keep him in the Taken. We have the same agent. Let's keep him in the Taken.
True.
The Taken universe.
The T-U.
The Taken multiverse.
The first thing you do
when you're in the Taken universe is get under
a bed in another universe.
You can't hear me, but I'm
you from a different... Right now I'm under
a futon. It's not a bed.
All right. Does everybody understand how this works?
Probably not. The first film in this person's best known for
is called No Strings Attached.
The next title, and this is going to happen sometimes.
Dustin.
Oh, all right.
Justin Timberlake.
Pretty early here. You're going Justin Timberlake?
Yeah.
That's your guess?
That was the one, right, guys?
It wasn't Ashton Kutcher, right?
But you do understand that this is a film
with maybe 75 or 80 actors in it.
No, there were not that many people in it.
There's not 75 people in any movie ever.
That might give you more of an idea
because unfortunately, Justin is not the name I was looking for.
Minus one?
Yeah, that's a negative one for Dustin.
It's the only part of the game I really understand.
Not starting off great, Dustin. It's the only part of the game I really understand. Not starting off great, Dustin.
It's okay, I'll come back.
You have to sit the rest of this one out.
You just made that up just now.
That's not even a rule, bro.
That's a personal question.
I didn't say you, right?
I didn't say everybody, just you.
All right, go on, hang on.
I have to sit the rest of this one out anyway. Because you had a wrong guess. All right, go on. I have to sit the rest of this one anyway.
Because you had a wrong guess.
All right, so we got no strings attached.
Then we go to TV.
A TV credit.
Something called The Other Two.
Guy.
Guy, who do you think it is?
Guy Branagh.
That is correct.
It's you!
He did it.
He recognized his own credits.
Be honest, though. Did you think it was you
after the first one? No.
I mean, a lot of good people were in No Strings
Attached, not Justin Timberlake.
You got Gerwig, you got Kaling,
you got Portman.
You're thinking about Friends with Benefits?
Yes. I knew he was in some
kind of string thing.
Those were easy to confuse, those two.
That was the Deep Impact.
Yeah, they came out right around the time.
That is extra fun.
You said somebody who's not even in the game.
But only one had a sassy gay friend
who was a real live gay, motherfuckers.
Girl.
Woody Harrelson played my role in The Other One.
Okay, so Guy, you get potential for bonus points.
Can you name the other two things that are in your best known form?
Oh, God.
I have to assume The Mindy Project and Chelsea Lately.
Which ones?
The Mindy Project and Chelsea Lately. Which ones? The Mindy Project and Chelsea Lately.
Mindy Project is correct,
but for your fourth credit, they went with
The Q-Force.
That's a deep dive into QAnon.
It is a Netflix animated series
that no one wanted.
Well, you gotta get
Paget's Agent to fix your top four.
Because it's in there
and you have
you currently have
two points.
Yeah.
Okay, here we go.
Here's the next round.
Whose top four starts with
Inglourious
Bastards. go. Here's the next round. Whose top four starts with inglorious bastards?
Sam, who do you think it is?
I think it's me.
That's incorrect.
Yeah, okay.
Classic misdirect.
Classic misdirect.
Oh, shit. He's kicking the lights out. Oh, no. Please, Sam. He's kicking the lights out.
Oh, no.
Please, Sam.
He's kicking out the lights.
You brute.
It's a dirty trick, Doug.
He did.
He faked you out.
Yeah.
That was good.
Second movie, minus a point.
Yeah.
I didn't bathe today, Sam.
I came here ready.
I understand.
You're sick of seeing me on the show.
There's other ways for me to not win
let's continue on
now see listen to this Dustin
Sam you have to sit the rest of this one out
see it's not a made up rule
the next title
and this person is best known for is In The Fade I'll go ahead and give you the next title, and this person's best known for it, is In the Fade.
I'll go ahead and give you the next title.
That's not going to help anybody.
National Treasure.
Guy.
For $5.
Sam Dixie knows who it is, but Guy is buzzing in.
Is it Diane Kruger?
That is correct!
Holy cow!
What is happening?
Oh my god!
Can you name another Krug?
I have to assume that Troy is on there.
Troy, no.
Troy did not make it.
They went with Unknown. I believe that's a Liam
Neeson joint the unknown yeah one was unknown I'm gonna need you to get under an unknown thing.
I have an unknown set of skills.
But in another universe, I know all the skills. Depending upon the universe we happen to be in.
All right, so guys really bursting into the lead here
with three points.
Sam and Dustin have a long way to go.
That's true.
And John and Padgett, thank you for being here.
Appreciate you every time.
Here goes the next round.
Who's best known for starts with a TV show
called Mad Men.
Sam. John Hamm.
What?
Saying John Hamm.
Sam already buzzed in.
With what? I said Mad Men. He said the TV show. With what? What did he say?
He said the TV show.
Oh, Mad Men.
And Sam
dove in on it.
What is your guess, Sam?
Well, look, it may be wrong, but I've got to take
some big swings here, Jon Hamm.
You didn't have to do that at all.
That is incorrect.
Oh!
Guys! Guys, set us up.
Guys, I literally put my hand
by the ass. I tried to get all of them.
He set us up? He set
us up with Guy. Goddamn,
you're like the Joker today, man.
What are you doing
to us, bro? I want a second
credit. I want to know.
It's Alan Havey, right? I'm just out. The game keeps going. It's still somebody else's to guess. us bro i want a second move i want a second credit i want to know it's alan havey right
i'm just out the game this is still somebody else's to get anybody anybody's game except
for the only one that's out who is out sam's up you know what's going to be he's out for now
i'm going to continue you can't consult i think oh you can't consult with him i was just trying
to make a team i was trying to make an alliance the second title after Mad Men
is a film called
In Time
Jon Hamm
who is it Jon?
Vincent Karthizer
that is correct
nice
nice
the VK broiler
beautiful
can you name
two more Karthizers for two more points.
Alpha Dog.
Justin Timberlake.
Yeah, Justin Timberlake was also in there.
You knew he'd come through for us today.
So do I get any points from that?
And Angel.
No, they went with
Masterminds.
And Alpha Dog.
Yeah, so that's two points
for Mr. Jon Hamm.
Wow.
In time, wasn't the setup
of that movie that he had a clock
planted in him?
Yeah, you all all clocks in your arms
and it shows how much
time you have to live.
So it was like
a carousel.
It was like Logan's Run
basically.
Yeah, he was a gazillionaire
so he had all the time
in the world
and everybody's frozen
at 30.
It was a real
Logan's Run deal.
So it should have been
just called
The Justin Timberlake Story.
Ah, yeah.
Guy's got all the time
in the world.
I love it.
I love it.
Dusty Justy,
let's do it.
Sam.
Wow, he's buzzing in ahead of time.
He's doing a pre-buzz.
He can't get any further behind.
This is very exciting, this pre-buzz.
Okay, Sam, who is it?
I'm going to go with Padgett.
Padgett Brewster.
That is incorrect.
He's got nothing to lose anymore.
Thank you, Justin.
You've got to cut him off, bro.
It's beautiful, bold play. I am dazzled
to watch one of the greats of the game.
Thank you.
All right.
The actual first title, and Sam, you have to sit this one out,
is the television program Friends.
Oh.
I'm going to wait for a second credit.
Okay, the second credit is a motion picture called Cake.
Oh, Guy, Guy, Guy.
It's Jennifer Aniston.
Jennifer Aniston is correct.
Oh my God, you're right!
But no helping.
Yeah, audience, please don't do that.
It was so exciting, though.
I could hear it.
Just excited whispers.
It's Jennifer Aniston.
It's Jennifer Aniston.
It's Jennifer Aniston.
It's Jennifer Aniston.
I can't believe it's Jennifer Aniston.
I can't believe it.
Is she here?
Is she here?
Is she going to come out?
Let's bring her out. Let's bring, is she here, is she gonna come out?
Let's bring her out, Jed.
Let's bring her out.
Ah, that'd be awesome.
Deer, deer, deer, deer, deer, deer, deer, deer, deer.
Hi, I'm glad.
Can you name the, I want, what?
The Rembrandts?
The Rembrandts.
No, the others, oh yeah, the Rembrandts was the band, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So are we looking for one it? So two more.
No, I want to know what the other credits are that she has on her IMDb page.
That's a tricky one.
Oh, what are Jennifer Aniston's best...
Two other big...
Oh, so The Morning Show.
Mmm, nice.
And...
Oh, shit.
Yeah, what was the...
Let's go with The Object of My Affection.
Always an excellent choice.
But no, those two.
I mean, with Jennifer Aniston,
there were so many possibilities.
But I think she picks her own top four
because she goes for prestige, indie,
big budge, and of course Friends.
Friends, Cake,
We're the Millers.
The Good Girl.
And the Good Girl.
The Good Girl.
Okay.
I think we should just declare
Guy the winner of this.
I want to play
one more round Sam
are you ready?
you want to pre-guess?
don't do it don't do it
he's lost the audience
no
you can do it come on
okay sure I'll pre-guess
oh he's pre-gaming it everybody I to pre-guess, Doug? You can do it. Come on. Okay, sure. I'll pre-guess. Oh, he's pre-gaming it, everybody.
I mean, pre-guessing.
Uh-huh.
Not pre-gaming.
Sam doesn't pre-game.
Okay.
Who is it?
Dusty Nabarro.
That is correct.
Whoa.
I heard my name.
Crazy, man.
How many points does he get?
He just got one point for that
Do I get any points for that?
But now if he can name the four
titles in Dustin's
top four
He's gonna tie this shit up with Guy
I don't see how I can tie it
The best I gave there is five
Come on man, we've literally met four times
Gary's got like five points, doesn't he?
So yeah, you can tie him up.
You're a very funny guy, and I love being on podcasts with you.
I love you too, Sam, thank you.
But Dustin, I'm very sorry.
No, you motherfucker, don't do this to me on live.
Don't do this to me on live.
All right, all right, all right, all right, I can do this.
You know what?
I take it back, I can do this.
Oh, shit.
Oh my God, this is going to be so bad.
Masters of the Universe.
Top Gun Maverick.
Caligula.
And Bonnie and Clyde.
You son of a bitch.
I'm right about one of them.
No, I'm not.
Can I try?
Okay.
This isn't going to...
Please, please.
My self-esteem can't handle it.
Wait, wait.
Let's go.
Let's do it.
Gotham.
Yes?
This is us.
I told you Gotham backstage. This is us. No, I was not in that. No, but you almost were. I told you Gotham backstage.
This is us.
No, I was not in that.
No, but you almost were.
I got it wrong.
No.
This is us guessing Gotham is what she was saying.
This is like me saying Gotham.
I was guessing nothing.
That wasn't a guess.
This is the worst.
Fire starter.
I mean, with that hair, he would be in such danger.
He can't go on
that set.
Californication!
Yeah!
That's a good one.
Oh, okay.
They went with
number one, We Bought a Zoo.
Oh, I knew that!
Number two, the Easter classic, Hop.
Oh, yeah. Three, the Easter classic, Hop. Oh, yeah.
I didn't know that. Three, the horror classic, Us.
I knew that! And
four, the
TV program, Gotham.
Oh, nice! Those are my best
residuals, too. You're doing great!
You're doing great!
Those four pay the best, as it turns out.
Turns out the ones that they're saying
are the most popular
are also paying
the most dividends.
We bought a zoo, too.
That's like a Christmas-y thing.
You can put that.
People watch that at Christmas?
It's like,
let's watch these fuckers
buy this zoo again?
It's an old person movie, man.
No one cusses, you know?
I did it.
I did see it with my parents.
You're right.
When I improv'd,
I was like,
what's up, motherfucker?
But they took it out. I was like, what's up, motherfucker? But they took it out.
I was like,
what's up with these
fucking animals, dude?
You guys ever just
want to fuck?
And they're like,
whoa!
But they decided
to go a little dirtier
with the sequel
that you star in
that's called
I Got Your Zoo
Right Here Too.
Ah, the poster.
Dustin, I really feel terrible
that I let you down there, so the next time
I'm lucky enough to be on the show and we play last person
Stanton, I will
do you. I will learn your resume.
I've always wanted you to do me. Thank you, sir.
I appreciate that, man. I appreciate it.
He said he's gonna
learn your resume. You should be
honored. It's like literally half a page.
I'm embarrassed. He's gonna learn my resume? I should be honored. It's like literally half a page. I'm embarrassed to learn
my resume? No, I'm saying I'm embarrassed
to not name any of his acting works.
So guess what?
Here I come. And I'm going to commit it to memory
to make up for my foolishness.
I'm going to memento it all over my
chest and back.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God, Sam. That we got a zoo
on your leg is beautiful.
Thank you.
But it's called we bought a zoo.
Oh no!
I like, why do I get my tattoos at Costco?
I like we got a zoo.
In the mirror, we bought an ooze.
We got a zoo.
We're walking down the street.
We didn't mean to.
We just fucking got a zoo.
We forgot to wear our masks that day.
All right, so we got to go to a commercial,
and we got to solve who, you know,
Sam is very comfortable knowing how much the first game doesn't matter
in the long haul.
He knows he did not need to win that game to win today
and win this
crate full of crap for a lucky audience member. We're gonna find out which
audience member that is after these messages. We'll be right back!
We're back!
I'm telling you, you gotta come see this show in person because the fun we have We're back! We're back!
I'm telling you, you gotta come see this show in person because the fun we have during the breaks
it is wild what was going on
here and I'm glad everybody's
back in their seats
and ready for
and ready to focus for
a game that's going to determine
our big winner today and we're
going to play another classic that I'm bringing back in a big way it's called
whose tagline is it anyway
here's how it works basically guy gets to go first because he took down that last thing in a spectacular way.
Then we'll go to our friend Dustin, then Padgett, then John, and then Sam, who loves being boxed out like this.
It is my favorite.
It's your favorite thing.
Because you have to rise up to the challenge.
If I get the opportunity.
Yeah.
I think you might.
I hope so.
You also might not.
It's probably going to happen.
These are the two options.
Yes.
You might.
Now, Padgett, I want you to know
that I'm going to say a tagline from a movie.
And just be careful.
I know you like to work it out verbally.
But don't give anybody any info if they don't deserve.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I mean, that's just a good tip for anybody up here.
Because I'm going to say it to Guy. And he's going to get a second to think about it. And if he
doesn't get the right answer on this first one, then it moves to Dustin, et cetera. Some of these
are extremely hard and some are quite not hard. I don't want to say easy because I've guessed
before when something's easy and it turns out people haven't, you know.
I was like, this is easy.
And they're like, we've never heard of, oh, dad, poor dad, mom is hanging in the closet and I'm feeling so sad.
And I'm like, well, it's real.
And why wouldn't you have heard of it?
With that crazy title.
Guy, are you ready?
Yes.
title guy are you ready yes what movie do you think has the tagline the strangest story ever conceived by man man um oh the rabbit test the film uh joan rivers one and only directorial effort?
Yes, but that's not correct.
It is a much better known movie where...
Yeah.
Oh, you mean the other Rabbit Test with Nicole Kidman?
No, no.
I'm saying I realize now that the tagline,
you probably aren't bringing up Joan Rivers' one directing film.
You're probably bringing up a thing that people have heard of,
and then I won't talk further about what it's about so that I
don't give it away to people.
You nailed it though. Your guess
was a good guess because of the
word conceived by man because
it rabbit tests about the first pregnant
man. Yes.
So it's clearly obviously going to be a different movie
about a pregnant man.
I really shit myself up here. I'm sorry you guys.
I'm just gonna go ahead and make you feel better
and say it's not about anyone having any kind of baby at all.
It's not the Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito thing?
I was like, no, it's obviously the,
with Emma Thompson for some reason.
Yeah, Emma Thompson and those guys in Junior.
Junior, yeah.
All right, if it's not that,
then I don't feel bad anymore.
Thank you.
That was an example of working it out verbally
in the right way.
All right, Dustin, what do you think it is?
Nicole Kidman?
What?
No, you've gotten way too much information.
All you need to know is that it's the strangest story
ever conceived by man.
Because you know how things that aren't men
are always out there conceiving of stories.
Oh, oh yeah, hang on.
All dark.
This feels very biblical.
Very bad.
Very, uh... Definitely my mom wouldn't let me watch it growing up.
Is it, uh...
Yeah, just what's the filthiest movie you can think of?
Boogie Nights?
No, I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
Padgett?
Ah.
Strangest story ever conceived by man.
The Andromeda Strain?
No, but I like it.
I like it. That was fun, yeah.
The guy in the audience liked it.
Thank you.
John,
Ham,
take this away from Sam.
I'm sure Sam has a very good idea
as to where it is.
I certainly don't.
Pretending he doesn't know.
He knows what it is.
I have no idea.
I'm going to say,
what planet are you from?
Oh.
Okay.
That's not the answer.
I'm still going to say it.
I can't stop you.
You didn't.
All right, Sam. All right, Sam.
I really...
Only because we mentioned your name.
Rabbit Hole?
Oh, God, no.
May I guess?
If he's wrong...
You're going to guess again?
Yeah.
Okay.
Is he wrong?
Yes.
Yes, not Rabbit Hole.
100% wrong.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea?
No.
Fuck.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea?
No.
Fuck.
This is supposed to be a difficult one and everybody passed with flying colors
because, you know,
why would you come up with King Kong?
Is it the original or the subject?
1933 or?
33.
Yeah, they're really trying to sell this is strange.
This story.
And it is kind of strange because they go to an island
with all sorts of gigantic beasts of all kinds.
Some are dinosaurs.
But let's take the monkey home with us.
Made out of clay.
Let's not even mention the dinosaurs when we get to the states.
Wink, wink.
Now, oftentimes, and Sam is the first one
to pounce on these situations,
there's a theme in this game that people can figure out.
That happens a lot, but not today.
Oh, right.
What's this?
So this, again, was what?
King Kong.
Thank you.
But you don't need to remember that.
There might be a theme. He just said there's normally, but not today King Kong. Thank you. But you don't need to remember that. There might be a theme.
He just said
there's normally
but not today apparently.
Not today.
Oh I missed that part.
But Doug is a liar.
He's a trickster.
He's mischievous.
Yep.
Just like
King Kong.
Eddie Vedder.
And King Kong. Guy what movie has the tagline experience a connection beyond words I'm going to go with children of a lesser god fancy that is a really good guess you're the best player of this
game like even when you have a losing answer it's the best dancing that is a really good answer but
no that's not it dustin ah um raised by wolves i just wanted to sound smart like Guy. I thought he made that up.
Children of a greater God.
No, but seriously.
Yeah, let's get serious for a second.
Okay, okay.
Fuck, dude.
I don't know.
More than worthy.
I don't know.
What's that one with Al Pacino when he's blind?
The scent of a woman?
Oh, nope. blind the scent of a woman oh nope I don't think so forget about it. Wrong movie. All right. Patches.
Is it The Artist?
No, but that's another fun guess.
That fake silent movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's say it again just to remind everybody.
Flipper!
Experience.
Yeah, Flipper and that boy, man.
Their connection.
Wow, they really...
It wasn't just sexual.
Experience a connection beyond words, John.
Touch?
I think it was a movie.
I'm sure it's a movie.
There has to have been a movie called Touch.
I think Skeet Ulrich starred in it
He had the power to heal people
I was going to guess Children of a Lesser God
but it was already taken
Okay Sam
Take it home, you know it
I do not
Pump up the volume
That's a good guess
Night at the Rocks break I love that you want to keep guessing That's a good guess, yeah. Good guess. Night at the Rocksbury.
I love that you want to keep guessing.
That's so fun.
But that's not it either.
Yentl!
No.
The answer is The Shape of Water.
Ah!
I saw that stupid movie, too.
Wow.
Me and my buddies thought it was gonna be like,
you know, it's a good movie, don't get me wrong,
but it's like, you know,
and a recent dude's like hanging out,
looking for a party.
He should've watched Yentl.
To think they didn't go with the tagline,
she fucks a fish.
Yeah, I know, it's crazy.
I love that movie.
That was actually
that one with Don Knotts.
They used that.
Oh, The Incredible Mr. Lippin.
She fucked a fish.
Yeah, that was
the working title.
The fuckiest fish
in the West.
I would love it so much
if there were
an ongoing lawsuit
between the author
of The Incredible Mr. Limpest
and Guillermo del Toro.
I wrote that.
I wrote that first.
They're basically the same movie, sir.
One casting choice off, and they're the same movie
ready guy yes okay the most magnificent
i told you some of these are hard The most magnificent picture ever.
Jesus.
All right.
Yeah, think about it.
Just think logically.
The most magnificent picture ever.
King Kong taught us that they did not have good tagline technology back in the 30s.
So I am going to say that it is gone with the wind that is correct
guys David O Selznick presents the most magnificent picture ever.
It wasn't untrue at that time.
At that time, it was.
Now it's not the best.
It's decidedly less magnificent.
I was going to say Short Circuit 2,
but that's way better.
I was going to say The Magnificent 7.
That's what I was...
Yeah, because it sounds like Magnificent.
I was going to say Maleficent, too.
I was thinking Maleficent.
Of all the Magnificent movies, Guy knew exactly which one was the most Magnificent.
Ever.
For our purposes here.
So Guy is on the board, but that means Dustin gets to go first on this next one.
Oh, man.
All right.
All right.
I'm sorry, buddy.
If you don't know this, just take a guess.
Okay.
And we'll move on.
We've run out of time.
All right.
I'll be quick.
Okay.
We're having so much fun today.
This is great.
All right.
Enough improv.
Thank you for coming, everybody.
All right.
Let's go.
They got to get out of here.
Yeah.
Thank you for coming, everybody.
This is nice.
Everybody came here to do this.
Yeah.
Whatever this is, we're doing it.
It's awesome.
Yeah, I know.
It's awesome.
All together.
All right.
What movie do you think this is, Dustin?
The happiest, dopiest, grumpiest, sneeziest movie of the year.
Is it the Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?
That is correct.
Ah, man.
Wow.
It only took 20 years,
but they really got better at writing taglines.
I just say who's in it, and, you know.
It's the most Big Lebowski-ish movie ever.
20 more years, and they're like,
it's a real Star War.
I hate these damn Star Wars.
Have they said that in Star Wars?
Did they ever say Star Wars in Star Wars?
That'd be kind of funny, right?
But like really seriously, like you guys.
I don't know what we're going to do with all these Star Wars.
I just got drafted into another Star Wars.
I just got drafted into the Star Wars. I just got drafted into the Star Wars.
They never talk about the stars.
They talk about the Death Star.
And they never talk about wars specifically.
They talk about conflict and problems with their fathers.
All right.
Fucking Star Wars are killing us.
Padgett?
Yep.
You're up first.
Yep.
You can do this. Yep. You can do this.
Yep.
What movie has the tagline
A 50 Year
Fight?
The Hatfields versus the McCoys
from 1932. The movie.
Yeah. Is that your guess?
from 1932.
The movie, yeah.
Is that your guess?
Tell me the line again.
A 50-year war?
A 50-year star war.
It's not.
A 50-year fight.
A 50-year fight.
Yes.
Should I know this?
Is this embarrassing?
No, don't ask them.
Absolutely not.
Okay.
Don't ask them.
Yentl.
Yentl is always a great guess.
I love Yentl.
I just saw that a couple years ago.
I loved it.
What do you think it is, John?
Well, if it was the 51-year fight,
it would be the Jon Hamm story.
Thank you very much.
1971 2022. It's been a 51-year
fight.
Waterworld?
Yeah, I mean, when you join them, this is
already a waterworld, so you don't know how long
the fight's been going at that point.
Exactly.
Probably 50 years.
Come on down, everybody.
Watch a fight that started 50 years ago.
Still going.
Go ahead, Sam.
Go ahead.
Oh, can I...
I just want the one where it's like,
Bambi and Thumper go make their way through the...
Can I have that?
No?
I'm sure I'm off, but I've got
Grumpy Old Men.
That's a good guess.
That is correct.
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Oh, I'm so glad this is audio only.
Do you
understand what I'm talking about?
When they're on the incline.
Walter Matto.
And, yeah.
Oh, God.
Very good outtakes at the end of that movie.
Burgess Meredith.
Really going to town.
Yeah, he goes, Burgess Meredith is not afraid to use the word balls.
Or grab someone's balls.
I've been doing it for 50 years.
50 year ball fight.
Guy and Sam
are both on the board, but we
got a lot of spoilers up here on this
stage. Dustin's on the board.
It was Dustin, by the way. What's that?
You do remember these.
Let me fix that
clerical error. Make sure we got Dust worse. Dustin's on the board. Softball. Let me fix that clerical error.
Make sure we got Dusty.
Dustin is on the board.
He doesn't even know how to read and write.
It's all symbols, man.
It's all fucking smiley faces and half moons.
All right.
Guy is up next.
And if he gets this one correct...
What happened? You just got it right, Sam.
No, no, no. Shouldn't Padgett and John get to go?
You just got it right.
Oh, he's going in...
Yeah, and then Guy's up next.
He's going in... Yeah, listen.
You know, you win. I think we have the same
birthday. Maybe we suck at this.
You, me, and Sharon Stone, right?
And Osama bin Laden.
Hang on, you guys are all born on March 10th?
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
You're not.
I always wondered what...
Two days later.
I always wondered what the full membership
of the Leg Spreaders Club was.
Yeah.
I got Sharon Stone.
My favorite was in Zero Dark Thirty
when Osama bin Laden did that move.
Showed his pussy.
Well, you think you know.
Fucking Dennis Nedry over there.
God damn.
Okay, Guy.
What movie has the tagline,
still yelling, still fighting,
still ready for love?
I have to assume Grumpier Old Men.
That is correct!
You did it!
Guy Branum is our winner today!
Are you serious?
He took it down!
He did it!
Congratulations!
Wow.
Where is that person you were playing for, Guy?
It is that Jay.
It wasn't Scott.
It wasn't Scott. It wasn't Scott.
It was Jay with the worst name tag ever.
Ladies, I failed.
And once again, everything is right with the universe.
No, yay is what you mean.
That's pronounced yay.
It's pronounced yay.
Here's your fucking box
you gotta return the crate
congratulations
no no no they're fine
congratulations
you did it
guy that was amazing
you're a badass guy
thank you Patrick
so delightful
so since you won today guy Brandon you so delightful Dustin so since you want
today guy Brandon you get to do your plugs first go ahead and promote
yourself bros is in theaters a comedy in theaters September 30th go see that
movie so that gay people can continue to be gay if not we have to stop being gay
thank you very much paid for by gay is gay
paid for by grumpy old men
uh destiny bar uh yeah buddy buddy we're actually doing a show
you and I
tomorrow night
buddy
double plug
it's gonna be fun
Torrance California
we're gonna be at the end
Jason Ellis
Pablo Francisco
Doug Benson
it's gonna be a really fun show
you're gonna have a good time
tomorrow night
Torrance
the end
yeah man
thanks for having me Doug
you gotta jump
you can get the tickets.
The listeners, they're going to have to act fast
because they're not going to hear this until late tonight.
They're going to have to move.
I think I did it wrong.
I think it's like a free show, too.
I'm kind of...
Wait, you guys have to pay.
It is free.
I'm joking.
It is free.
No, it's free to get in.
Yeah, you did do that wrong.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what I...
You know, I was...
But it'll be fun, right?
I can't book shows, bro.
It's important.
It's important things. We're going to have fun.
But it's a comfort-free past.
Padgett's going to be there.
She's bringing some of her amazing brownies that she makes.
Yes, Padgett.
Not infused.
She doesn't put anything in them.
They're just normal brownies.
I don't infuse.
Yeah.
But they're delicious nonetheless.
Well, thank you.
I can get high separate.
I don't need to get high.
I don't need to get high with every goddamn thing I eat.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Padgett Brewster,
what do you got to plug?
You got more Bird Girl?
I do, you guys.
Bird Girl tomorrow,
no, tonight,
is today Sunday?
Yeah.
Tonight at 11.30 p.m.
is the finale episode of Bird Girl,
but they're all on HBO Max tomorrow.
Hypochondriac,
an LGBTQ psychological horror film that I'm in,
premieres the 29th, and then will be on video on demand the next week.
I also did a true crime podcast narration about a true rape case.
It's kind of a bummer, but there's actually...
No, no, no, it's fascinating. It's, well, itmer. But there's actually... No, no, no. It's fascinating.
It's many rapes, but...
Sorry.
No, no, no. This is someone that actually, if people
listen to the podcast, we can find...
I know. I know.
Dig up. Dig up.
Sorry. It's called Midwest
Monster. Jon Hamm.
I like that.
Paget, whenever it's her turn to talk, she thinks
she needs to throw to the next thing.
Check out!
What's Jon Hamm up to?
Top Gun Maverick, still in theater.
Yes!
Recently crossed the billion dollar threshold.
Number one movie in the world.
Yeah, it's huge.
Confess Fletch coming out in theaters.
Continuing the story of Erwin M. Fletcher
in September at some point.
And The Big Lie, an Audible podcast on Amazon Audible
about terrible things that happened in the 50s
to people that were considered to be communists.
And...
So if you're looking for something fun after Padgett's...
After Padgett's multiple
rapes. Also on Audible.
So back to back.
Lighten the mood with John's...
Fiscal
irresponsibility of the 50s.
After rape.
Not funny. But. After rape. Not funny.
But both great podcasts.
Is that the discussion podcast that happens after your show?
It happens when nobody reports it.
Sam.
Wow, thanks for the great...
That's a great...
That was clever.
Brutal. Sam, jump into this hole. Wow, thanks for the great... That's a great... That was clever. Clever as fuck.
Brutal.
Sam, jump into this hole.
Hey, you can find me on Cameo.
I will not talk about rapes.
Not even if you pay me ten times.
Won't talk about them in my Cameos.
Okay, I'll talk about it in mine,
but you go ahead and have your little rules.
Thank you.
I try to make the customer happy.
Nope, not for this.
Gotta have my standards, Doug.
I'm on Minx, which is streaming on HBO Max.
Yes, Ed!
Great show.
Padgett's a fan, and she has wonderful taste.
It's so good.
It's so good.
It's very good.
They should change the channel to HBO Minx.
Yes, Eric Edelstein and Sam Levine are these great radio DJs, it's so good it's very good they should change the channel to HBO Mix yes
Eric Edelstein
and Sam Levine
are these great
these radio DJs
and they're misogynist
monsters
and they're brilliant
at it
they're great actors
it's a great show
if you haven't seen it
and if you are a child
or have a children
or enjoy children's programming
I'm on Raven's Home
on the Disney Channel
that's right
it's a sequel series to That's So Raven,
which I also appeared on 20 years ago,
but this time back as a different character.
Because it's a Law & Order universe, Doug.
They ran out of actors.
Your character couldn't have just grown up?
Nope.
Different guy altogether.
Different name.
Oh, maybe they killed that other guy off.
Yep, different everything.
That's not very Raven.
And then...
No, of all the little things that are Raven,
that is not...
That's not one of them.
Nope.
Not even a little bit.
Not on the list.
And it's funny.
It's a long list.
Yeah.
There's so many things that are Raven.
So many things that are not Raven.
That, like, it kind of...
That's why they try not to talk about it anymore
because people are just saying
that's so Raven about every little thing.
Here we are.
Oh yeah, and cameo.
And that's it.
Is Raven on cameo?
Probably.
Nice.
Is that everybody?
All right. Douglo's Movies is going to be back here in one month. Is that everybody? Yeah Alright
Doug Loves Movies is going to be back here in one month
On Sunday
August
14
And you know where all my dates
And deets and whatnots are
Thank you everybody for being here
Thank you to Dynasty Typewriter
If you like comedy and typewriting Be sure to visit everybody for being here. Thank you to Dynasty Typewriter.
If you like comedy and typewriting, be sure
to visit Comedy Typewriter.
Dynasty Typewriter.
I changed it to Comedy Typewriter. That's what
it's called now.
Comedy Typewriter.
That just sounds like a show
where there's like an animatronic typewriter
that talks to everybody
about words.
Welcome to the
Hall of Typewriters.
It would be like that.
Thank you for the extrapolation.
Oh, did I mention
San Diego? Yeah, I'm going to be in San Diego
for Comic-Con, so come see me at the
American Comedy Company.
One more time for all
of my guests, Sam Levine, Guy Branum,
Dustin Ibarra,
Padgett Brewster,
and John H. Hamm.
The H stands for wholesome.
And as always,
it was beauty killed the beast.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.