Doug Loves Movies - Hal Rudnick, Chris Kelly, Samm Levine and Jacob Sirof guest
Episode Date: September 20, 2016Live from the UCB Sunset in LA, Doug welcomes Hal Rudnick, Chris Kelly, Samm Levine and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice... at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
That sounded like you guys were, like, a long ways away.
And you're just yelling for me to love some movies from a distance.
And yes, you are actually kind of far away,
so that's probably why it sounded like that to me.
There's a big moat here at the UCB Theater Sunset location,
Los Angeles, California.
It's Monday, September 19th.
Do we have, you can see I have four guests tonight,
so do we have four great name tags out there?
Let's take a look.
There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, maybe nine or ten name tags, so we're good.
Great job, you guys.
What's this huge box, though, in the front row?
What's in there?
It's called 20,000 Days of a Hot and Ready Pizza.
It's a hot and ready pizza, but it's really big.
Yeah.
And did you do anything to it?
Yeah, we put a title on it.
You wrote something on it?
20,000 days.
Okay.
H-O-C?
I think it'll get picked.
I have a pretty strong feeling about it.
There's like cold pizza backstage that people were gnawing on and complaining about how
cold it was.
And this is fucking fresh and ready.
Just like you described
it. Doug
plugs, if you're in Austin at
Fantastic Fest, be sure to say
hi because I'll be there from September
22nd to 29th, hanging
out, enjoying films.
Friday, November
30th, a very special happy hour edition of douglow's movies
at the improv in houston texas so get off early or quit your job saturday october 1st dallas texas
saturday october 8th boston massachusetts the next los angeles douglow's movies Movies is October 10th at Meltdown Comics, douglasmovies.com times two.
Let's look in the prize bag.
I've got a Douglas Movies T-shirt, a Phil Bill Volume 1 comic, or coloring book, I should say.
Marijuana logs logs coasters
gonna be out of those soon
I was on at midnight today
so I brought you a couple of delicious
cookies
oh and there's never too early
for Christmas ornaments
a guy gave me a bunch of Douglas movies
wooden Christmas ornaments that are really cute.
And it's, I gotta give the dude a plug.
Go to
scrolling
Oh my god.
Scrolling
it out
woodworks.com
Wow, that is a really snappy scrolling it out woodworks.com and he's in peace
in Pennsylvania I've got a pipe from peacemaker and this is pretty exciting, I think. A copy of the
shooting script of the motion
picture, Children of Men.
I guess it was probably
nominated for a few writing awards
when it came out and I got one in the mail.
All of that
is going to be someones tonight
along with the stuff brought by my four terrific guests.
We got two oldbies and two newbies.
If you've been paying attention to recent episodes,
you know who two of the guests are.
But please give me, please help me out in,
let's give it up for
Chris Kelly, Hal Rudnick, Jacob Seroff, and Sam the Ma'am Levine, a.k.a. Lil Wolverine. All right.
First of all, let's say hi to our new guests,
the new guests to the program,
who both went above and beyond
in terms of bringing something for the prize bag tonight.
First up, let's hear it for Chris Kelly, everybody.
Hi.
eyes bag tonight. First up,
let's hear it for Chris Kelly, everybody.
Hi.
Now tell me if I get this sentence correct. New co-head
writer of SNL.
Yes, yeah. There you go.
Yeah.
Nothing warms you up
for that job better than being
on this show
a week before you go back to work.
Doug Loves Movies is really going to get you ready.
And thank you so much for being here.
You're also promoting a motion picture that you, let me make sure I get this right, wrote and directed.
Yes.
Use your microphone voice.
Yes, yes.
And it's in select theaters now?
It's in theaters now and on iTunes, yeah.
And it's called Other People.
You were great the whole way through.
Why were you so worried?
Everything you said was perfect.
Yeah, I just, you know,
I want to sound like I know what I'm talking about,
but also want to make sure I get it right. Yeah, I just, you know, I want to sound like I know what I'm talking about, but also want to make sure I get it right.
Yeah, yeah.
For the same reason, I guess.
But you have an unusual, I just want to get right to it, because it's a big box with a wine bottle sticking out of it in the room.
What is this?
It's either a good gift or it's a terrible gift.
Uh, well my, what is this? It's either a good gift or it's a terrible gift. But, uh, in my movie, there's a, the song drops of Jupiter by train train. Of course. Uh, are they here is train here.
So they're not, I think they're way in the back. Uh, that, that song is all over my movie. It's
like a running thing throughout the movie. So it was wrap gift, I bought everyone a bottle of Train Has a Wine Company.
And so the bottles, each flavor of wine,
are they called flavors?
What is it called?
It's Train.
Well, if it's Train wine, it's flavors.
So each one of their wines is named after one of their songs.
So the Cabernet is Drops of Jupiter Cabernet.
There's Hey Soul Sister Sauvignon Blanc.
You understand.
You lost me at the Sauvignon Blanc.
You all got grape?
Yeah, this is grape.
This is, yeah, Drops of Jupiter grape.
So this is.
I would have so much fun with this if I knew train song titles.
Oh, God.
Hey Soul Sister.
So I brought six
bottles of the train wine.
And I also have a poster
from my movie and it's huge, but I
couldn't carry it with the wine. So God, what a night
for somebody here. Was the song
used ironically in the movie?
You'll have to tune in and see.
Oh yeah, no, it's straight up
in there just sincerely.
For sure.
A little bit.
I don't know.
Molly Shannon is in the film.
Yes, yeah.
Who else?
Molly Shannon and Jesse Plemons from Friday Night Lights, Breaking Bad.
They're the leads.
And then Bradley Whitford, Maude Apatow, June Squibb, John Early.
A lot of UCB people are in it, too.
We filmed a scene at UCB Franklin.
A lot of UCB people like Matt Walsh is in it.
Retta, Paula Pell. I don't know. A bunch of comedy
people mostly.
That seems perfect casting for a comedy
film.
Well done.
Thank you.
Let's say hi to Hal Rudnick everybody.
Hal is here.
Hi Doug. Thanks for here. Hi, Doug.
Thanks for having me.
For the very first time.
It feels like the first time.
Sure does.
Yeah.
In more ways than one.
And you're so great with all the Screen Junkies stuff.
And you appeared on my new show on Screen Junkies Plus, Pitch Off.
Heck yeah.
You did a great job.
I had so much fun on Pitch Off.
Great Morgan Freeman impersonator.
I'm not going to deny that.
That was the gift you brought, right?
You only sound like him if you're saying a line from one of his movies.
If you're just saying whatever the answer to the question is,
then it's not as close.
I'm going to thank you for that.
See, that's what I'm saying.
Now say something from Shawshank.
Oh, from Shawshank?
Yeah.
We gotta get the fuck out of this prison.
It was such a poetic movie.
It really moves people with its words.
Well, no, I got an actual line.
You slit the God's throat, I got an actual line you slit the
God's throat I'll skull
fuck the other one
what that is not
it is a family film
what are you talking about
maybe I saw you know the R version
am I the only person
what's the one
what's the Tom Hanks one with the mile
and the green mile
am I the only person like with the mile and the green mile?
Yeah.
Am I the only person, like,
why would I forget the green part?
Am I the only person who just routinely confuses green mile
and Shawshank Redemption?
Like I could mix the plots of those two movies together.
They seem like the same movie to me,
but only one of them has a mouse.
True.
Same director, though.
Even though rats probably run around in every prison.
Yeah, they're both Darabont.
These are two Stephen King jail movies.
Oh, he also did Road to Perdition, right?
It doesn't have a mouse, but it does have a bird.
There you go.
I can tell them apart,
because Green Mile is the one I don't remember
and Shawshank is the one
I'm embarrassed
that I don't remember.
Interesting distinction.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dak.
Please.
Walking Dead connection.
Frank Darabont.
Walking Dead.
Season one and two.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
FYI.
Is he here?
This isn't Doug Loves TV.
My bad, sorry.
I do love Walking Dead, though.
Jacob Seroff is here, everybody!
What's up, short rounders?
Short rounds?
What?
Short rounds?
I was trying to make amends for the last time
when I called them DLMers
and you told me they were called short rounds.
No, there's no... I don't like to label people.
There's no reason to call them anything.
I'll get back to you on that, Hal.
Jacob was the winner.
Where did you win at?
UCB Franklin last week.
That was last Thursday.
Tuesday.
Tuesday, last Tuesday.
You took it down and I invited you to
come back today. Live on the air.
How are you feeling? I'm feeling good.
This guy sitting to my left, who you'll
talk to next, is, you know,
I was lucky enough
and skilled enough to beat him once.
And these guys
are both scary opponents, but
you know Doug, I come for the games. I don't care about being
funny or anything like that.
So Sam being here makes it
a big night for me.
It's a worthy opponent.
Knock it off.
Sam Levine, everybody!
Woo!
Thank you.
Alright, the latecomers are here.
Yeah.
We can finally start this thing.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
Hey, everybody. I love movies.
That guy's just like, fuck it.
Sam, how's it going, man?
You won a week ago.
I won last week today at Nerd Melt.
Yeah.
Where we played the Molten game, which was fantastic.
Blew the dust off of that sucker and we played it.
Yeah.
I'll do that again someday, maybe, if people don't beg me too much for it.
And, yeah, if you leave me alone about it, it's got to be my idea.
But
so yeah, so I asked you
to come back as well. You couldn't come back
the next night, but here you are.
Here I am. We're all, we got
four white guys.
Like we've been saying.
It's a very white panel. Don't worry about it.
The Emmys were very ethnic last night,
so we're good. White guys are good for a little while.
You think so? You think they solved that
for us for a bit? Yeah, we bought
some time with that. I think like the next three weeks
no one will say anything.
Did Cookie win?
Did who win? Cookie, Taraji P. Henson.
No, she did not. She did it?
No.
But Rami Malek won.
Who? Rami Malek.
Oh, yeah.
Mr. Robot.
What is he?
He's not a Caucasian, technically.
I think he's actually of Egyptian descent.
Yeah, there he is.
There you go.
He's Egyptian.
I should have known because of the way I saw him walk.
But when he went up to accept his award, I should have been like, oh, that guy's totally walking.
He's walking like an Egyptian.
Tomorrow's going to be a manic Monday for him.
That's what I said to myself.
And then Tatiana Mastolini, how do you pronounce her?
Right.
She won finally for Orphan Black.
Orphan Black, and she's Canadian, right?
There you go.
It's one of my favorite skin colors Canadian
that just counts as white twice
that's like double white
super white
extra white
alright well I think this is going to be good
let's see what else people brought for the prize bag
let's start with you Sam
I brought two things
one is one of your favorite films of all time,
a little film called The Dark Knight.
So if for some reason you haven't seen it,
or even worse, you don't own it,
now's your chance.
And then a little self-serving,
the streaming series that I have on right now
called Crunch Time is on roosterteeth.com,
and if you're not familiar with them,
here's a little DVD of their flagship
series, Red vs. Blue,
which is very old in terms
of it's been around a long time and
it's very funny. And there you go. It's on DVD
so you don't even have to boot up your damn computer to watch it.
So Rooster Teeth, Red vs.
Blue, and then when you're done there, go online
and watch Crunch Time.
You just have to go buy a DVD player.
It's very professional, Sam.
Thanks, buddy.
You really nailed that.
I know. That's rehearsed almost.
Could you describe what Jacob brought for the
prize bag? I don't even know what he brought.
I don't know
if listeners of the show know, because it doesn't come up too much,
but Doug, you know because we've been on the road together.
I'm kind of a fuck guy.
I like to fuck and stuff. I like to have sex.
So I brought some fuck stuff today.
I have learned about that on the road.
I have like fuck connections,
so I have this connection at Hustler,
so I got this weird spank stick,
which you could use to hit people's butts with, I think.
Care to demonstrate?
There is no way that spank stick
was not a free gift with any purchase at the Hustler store. Well, I don't make is no way that Spankstick was not a free gift
with any purchase at the Hustler store.
Well, I don't make purchases at the Hustler store.
This is all swag, believe it or not.
I got some
lube, and I got these
condoms. I don't know what these are for.
They're condoms, but
I don't know why you would use them, because sex feels
way worse when you put them on.
If you're like a masochist or something, I have some condoms.
Raw dog.
I got this awesome, which looks like a Wii controller for your pussy.
It's like on this weird wire.
It's not an egg.
It's not called anything.
It says California exotic novelties on it.
But I think you put this part in your vagina. It's called, it's not called anything. It says California exotic novelties on it. But I think you put this part in your vagina.
It's called a bullet.
It can also really go in any
orifice that you can comfortably fit it in
and then it's got a little wire.
Yeah, any orifice will do.
Way to class up the show, Jacob.
For me, I like it in my pussy.
I thought you were going to put that on the ground.
Oh yeah.
I'm just sitting here thinking of a spinoff show for you,
like Jacob Loves Fucking.
Yeah, anybody wants to sponsor that.
It's not a company.
I'm against it.
Hal, bring us back to some nerdy shit.
Oh, sure.
Bring us back to some nerdy shit. Oh, sure. Bring us back to some nerdy shit.
I have the fucking nerdy fun pack.
Fuck yeah.
Oh, nerdy fun crack?
How about an X-Files t-shirt?
How about fucking Mystery Marvel box?
Who the fuck's in there?
Who?
It's a who?
It could be a who or it could be a what?
Is it a fucking Groot or a fucking human?
And a screen junkies sweatshirt.
There you go, everybody.
You know, fall is
almost upon us.
When you venture out of doors, you may need a
sweatshirt. Why not make it a Screen Junkies sweatshirt?
Also, I just want to mention, Doug,
your show is, Doug Benson
hosts a show on Screen Junkies
Plus, and it's a fucking amazing
funny show where Doug
plays a Hollywood
movie boss who can
he's a studio boss who
hears pitches. It's just if I got
picked to be a studio boss. Which
should fucking happen. Am I right everybody?
Well I don't know. I don't want that.
I don't want that job. Please
please promote the show.
It's more fun to pretend to be one.
But Doug's super fucking
funny on the show and he hears a bunch of pitches every week,
and he says no, yes, thumbs down,
and like three comedians vie to be the winner on Doug's show.
Thanks, dude.
Yeah, you do a great fucking job, man.
I put Dark Knight in Jacob's sex bag,
and it's already given birth to Bat Kid.
I think my prizes will go well with the train wine.
Here you are, sir.
Thank you, Doug Benson.
Now, do we care what's in the Marvel box?
It seems like, is it sealed up?
What's in the box?
You can open it.
You can open it.
Yeah, I'm just afraid of, like,
it's always so hard to repack these things
if you unleash the stuff inside.
I think it's just one object, just one item in there.
Oh, it's just a mug.
Oh, yeah, it's just a mug.
Whoa, look at that.
Look at that mug, you guys.
What is that, like red venom?
Yeah, I think that is.
What is it?
It's carnage.
It's carnage.
It's carnage.
Fucking carnage.
All right.
Yeah, a little carnage.
Add to that treasure trove
a fucking carnage mug.
Who wants a cup of carnage
in the morning?
Yeah, it's very nice.
Thanks, Doug.
Yeah, great job.
Oh my God.
I don't like any
heckle that begins with, it's actually.
The guy that knows all about carnage is alone.
I just want to point that out.
It's true.
He came alone, but he knows a lot about the Marvel Universe.
Should we just give him your part of the prize bag, Jacob?
Not the condoms.
He won't be needing those.
All right.
Well, this is going gonna be quite the chore for
somebody to get all these prizes out of here after the show so so good luck to
whoever our winner ends up being real quickly though let's just go down the
line starting with Sam again and tell me that what was the last movie you saw it
can you recommend it it was a feature, only because I watched them back to back.
Backdraft and the Point Break remake.
Which one did you see?
Did you see second?
I saw Point Break second.
All right, so that's the last movie you saw.
I guess so.
And so we're not going to talk about that other one.
Well, I only mentioned it because I didn't want to have to spend the time
telling you about the diarrhea fest that was that Point Break remake.
It was utterly unwatchable.
There is not a single redeemable scene in that movie.
Yeah, harsh words.
That's right, guys.
I'm not gaming to be in Point Break 2.
But not even like a parachuting cam that was kind of well done?
Oh, no. I mean, if I wanted to watch the X Games,
it's great, but...
I love it when somebody says that a movie's
unwatchable. Like,
did the movie throw things into your eyes?
Yes, it did. Did it slap your face
around and beat you about the head?
Yes. Offensively bad storytelling
and dialogue and acting.
Oh, I can't watch this bad acting.
Yeah.
Can't look at it.
Yeah.
All right.
It hurt me.
I see it.
It hurt me.
You know, pepper spray the movie.
I think that would be like, you know, harder to watch.
Jacob, what was the last movie you saw?
Well, I've done the show so recently that I haven't got to the theaters again.
But you saw a movie somehow.
I saw a movie since then, and that movie was,
and this is probably going to weird a lot of people out,
that was Star Wars The Force Awakens,
which I recorded on the Starz network.
Why would people weird out about it?
Oh, because I think people would be surprised
that I enjoy Star Wars movies.
Want to go sit with that guy over there?
No, I'm just... Listen, you're so far off the beaten path Star Wars movies. Want to go sit with that guy over there?
You're so far off the beaten path that you couldn't
even get in the Star Wars movies
galaxy.
What?
Why?
I saw the observations.
Do you have any new observations after watching it again?
How many times was that for you?
Well, I saw nine of the theaters so that would have been that would have been
this is a big ten though the big jamma cake I don't have blu-ray or I don't I
don't watch them I don't ever buy move I'm sorry did you say you saw Star Wars
The Force Awakens nine times in theaters yeah and I'm not even that into it what
accounted what drove you to see that? Well, I'm a big Star Wars nerd.
He loves Star Wars.
That was being ironic earlier.
We don't know each other.
But he's more into the Star Wars movies that count.
I am not going to win any trivia
if this is what it's up against.
Well, not Star Wars trivia.
But definitely train trivia.
I don't think I...
I dare say there's little to no Star Wars trivia tonight
I don't know if there were new observations
but I watched it
when I watch stuff at home I put the captions on
so you can see the alien language and stuff
some cool stuff
you know
like when Finn is looking for some water
and then one guy's like
no water
when he's starving I he's parched.
I didn't think the guy was actually saying no water, but it turns out, according to the captions,
I thought it was some alien language that kind of sounded like Jabba Nobata kind of situation.
Sure.
But he's actually said no water, so I learned that.
Oh, that's great.
Thanks, DirecTV captions.
Take that one to the singles bar.
The singles bar. Yeah, right? I didn't know Take that one to the singles bar. The singles bar.
Yeah, right?
I didn't know of any other way to phrase it.
I haven't heard that since Three's Company.
Singles bar.
Take that to one of your fuck saloons.
Fuck mixers. I'm going to fuck mixers.
Hal Rudnick, what was the last motion picture you saw?
You see a lot of them, right?
Yeah, well, I feel like the last one I saw
is going to sound so pretentious,
so I just want to say two.
Well, everybody can't just answer the question.
Fuck!
What kind of world are we living in?
I'm just going to...
It's like I asked you what magazines you read,
and you're Sarah Palin.
Well, I saw a documentary called
Author, the J.T. LeRoy story.
Have you seen it?
Yeah, it was fantastic.
There you go.
That's a good thing.
Tell us a little more about it.
You pretentious fuck.
How dare you watch that movie?
Basically, I went to it off of an NPR interview that I heard.
It's about this woman who was an author in the late 90s,
early 2000s, but she was
an author under a pseudonym.
Her pseudonym, her nom de plume,
had a whole other identity
that
the publishers...
It's almost like Garth Book and
Chris Gaines,
but yes, in the literary world.
Oh, that's where it's the worst.
Fuck, yeah.
No, but so she created this false identity, and someone portrayed it.
An actor basically portrayed it.
And this actor became friends with Courtney Love, Billy Corgan, Bono, and all these fucking luminaries.
And she duped the world,
and the New York Times all of a sudden did a story
that outed her,
and it was just a fucking amazing
just thing she created,
and then the bubble got burst.
Spoiler alert.
Fuck yeah. Sorry. Spoiler alert.
Also on Game of Thrones, Ned Stark dies.
Thanks, Hal.
You got it, buddy. I was just about to start Game of Thrones Ned Stark dies thanks how you got it buddy I was just about to start Game of Thrones I'm never gonna start Game of Thrones it's just too too thick
I don't get God I just don't get it well what don't you get? God. Oh, you mean GOT?
Yep.
And I've told some really bad jokes over the years on your show.
That's up there.
That's up there.
If you played the game of Thorns, I always call it Thorns.
If you played the game of Thorns board game?
Yeah.
Yeah?
No.
You got game?
You got game got?
You got game.
Chris, save us from this conversation.
I don't know if mine's good either.
Mine isn't like not pretentious, but it's like a little indie.
It's Force Majeure.
Oh, that's like, been on my list of
I must see it for so long
and I just keep
not getting around to it.
And I didn't even really
know what it was about
but people would just be like,
I don't even want to tell you,
you just have to see it.
Is it about the Force?
I keep waiting for like
a weather event
to make me stay home
and watch it.
That is good, yeah.
I don't even know
what else I'm supposed
to say about it.
Is it on Netflix?
It's a reference to Natural Disasters.
Yeah.
I mean, I can say what it's about, but it's a little bit of a spoiler.
I'm answering your question, Jacob, that you asked.
It's not about Star Wars.
What?
You said something about divorce.
No, I said divorce.
My other favorite subject.
No, I said, is it about the force?
Is the force in it? I thought I said, is it about the force? Is the force in it?
I thought you said, is it about divorce?
Because somewhere in your divorce paperwork,
it said force majeure for some reason.
I love it.
Can you imagine if you were an attorney,
a divorce attorney who was also a big Star Wars nerd,
and then when like somebody came in,
you were like, yeah, divorce be with you.
That's cool, Jacob. Thanks a lot, man. Well, I mean, I wanted to save like yeah divorce be with you that's cool Jacob thanks a lot man
well I mean I can see I wanted to save you
that's a trigger that's a trigger right there
that's yeah divorce
fucking in Star Wars that's what I'm all about
alright
everybody's got a
subdued crowd
alright it's time for
Bert to turn the show off
because I'm about to say, let the games begin!
Gentlemen, you have name tags to choose from.
There's, I think, about 10 of them out there.
I just need you to physically go,
and I told you the pizza would be a hot
seller.
Just go grab whoever you'd like to
play for.
And then bring it back to your
seat.
And this late night
crowd.
It's 11 p.m. here in Los
Angeles. Oh, that does look like a good pizza.
All right. Sit in Los Angeles. Oh, that does look like a good pizza. Fucking production value.
Fucking production value.
All right, sit down, Hal.
Quit yelling about production value.
Sit the hell down.
Fucking wow.
That pizza is entirely made of garlic.
All right, Sam.
Yeah.
What do you got there? I'm playing for Al The Pretty Horses
Because he took all the pretty horses
And he put your face in my face
Oh that is nice
We look good together
I look a little uncomfortable
And you look a little scared
I'm like
Enough with Al and his pretty horses
What do you got there, Jacob?
I'm playing for 20,000 leagues under the Chelsea.
I'm assuming your name is Chelsea.
She drew that on the top of a pizza box.
Well, she bought the largest pizza I've ever seen in my life.
It's a 36-incher.
That's what she said.
Big mamas and papas.
Pizzeria.
Yeah, there's a lot of basil, and I'm going to eat.
You guys are going to eat some? I'm going to eat a lot of this pizza. Are you going to lot of basil, and I'm going to eat... Are you guys going to eat some?
I'm going to eat a lot of pizza.
Are you going to eat some right now?
I'm going to eat some pizza.
We got free pizza in the back, too,
because the last show left pizza,
and it was cold.
Yeah, that's what I was telling everybody.
I predicted that this exactly was going to happen,
and it's happening,
so by all means, keep describing it.
It's good pizza.
Hal, who are you playing for?
First I want to point out, Doug
That this guy is a fucking slip of paper right there
It's just a fucking slip of paper
This is a fucking laminated document
Okay
That's all I'm fucking saying right there, brah
That's all I'm fucking saying right there, brah
Whoever I'm representing, you fucking care, brah
Alright, I'm representing Andy.
Oh, and
his name is...
Don't read anything off the back.
Don't read anything off the back.
I'm not going to read fucking shit.
Just read what his name is.
Yeah, this fucking guy.
I'm representing Matt Damon, born...
Jason born again?
Jason born again. So the guy's name is Jason?
Yeah. And you didn't name is Jason? Yeah.
And you didn't change that in any way.
It's just Jason.
I put a cross on there.
You put a cross on there and now he's born again.
It's kind of like a Christian thing.
Fucking beautiful laminated duck.
Jason born again.
I put a face on there too.
Oh, and you put your face on there?
All right, great.
That's fucking Photoshop, bro.
Yeah. That's fucking Photoshop, bro. Yeah.
That's fucking Photoshop, bro.
Is your real name David Webb?
Thank you, Hal.
Ooh.
Sam.
Oh, nice deep cut.
Thanks, man.
Who are you playing for, Chris?
I'm playing for Reed.
Yes.
Yes.
This is a poster for Burn After Reading.
Burn After Reading, yeah.
And you star in it
and he stars in it and Mark Wahlberg
is intact. He's also still in it.
Yeah, there you go.
Larry King said it's a comedic masterpiece.
What do you mean Mark Wahlberg's still in it?
He wasn't in it in the first place.
Do you think I fucking saw Burn After Reading?
Get real. It's such a great movie.
Why was Mark Wahlberg
added to it?
It's a show meme. Mark was Mark Wahlberg added to it? It's a show meme.
Because it's a show meme.
Because Mark's a guest on the show.
Really?
Oh, that's interesting.
So they put him on the name tag.
Oh, my God.
I'm learning.
That's what I love about this.
I'm learning.
Just in case he shows up tonight.
I'm assuming this is Reed right here.
Yes, that is Reed.
Kind of looks like Pete Holmes.
Yes, it does, actually.
It does.
All right.
Great job with the name tags you can't
believe everything you read you know what i mean we did it sorry let's play some games starting
with a little ditty called purple rain man uh it's basically that the answer is a mash-up title of two different movie titles.
The example being Purple Rain Man.
Yeah.
If I was saying who the third billed people were in Purple Rain Man, it would be probably Morris Day and Valeria Galeno.
Oh, whoa.
Right?
Galeno.
And then second build would be Apollonia
and
this is a fun
game.
I think Tom Cruise may have gotten second
billing in that one.
You get the idea. I'll start
from third billing on a new
movie mashup title. First person to guess the title
guesses as often as you like
is the winner. Third billing in this mashup title. First person to guess the title, guess as often as you like, is the winner.
Third billing in this
mashup movie title, Lloyd Bridges
and Sean Young.
Right?
Crazy.
Second billing,
Meg Ryan
and Gene Heckman.
Huh?
Sam's got a finger in the air like he just don't care.
He's scratching his brow like he's got the know-how.
Top billed, Tom Hanks and Kevin Costner. Like he's got the know-how. Top build.
Tom Hanks and Kevin Costner.
I know one of them.
Joe versus the Volcano Way Out.
That's correct.
Jesus.
I knew it was No Way Out after Sean Young,
but I was like...
That was just like the wait for Sam to get it game.
I was just watching Sam while everyone else sort of just...
I had no way out.
Was hanging out.
Yeah, literally.
Joe versus the Volcano was the...
Oh, got it, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry, Reed.
You should leave now.
You actually should leave now.
No, you never know.
You never know what's going to happen in these games.
This next game we're going to play is a little something called Last Man Stanton.
Good.
God.
And I'm going to get, I've pre-selected an audience member to
suggest an actor or actress for us to use in this game and we just take turns
saying movies that actor or actress is in if you can't think of one you're out
but also read is your lifeline Chris and how your lifeline is Jason Bourne again. If you need help at any point,
you can go to them once
for a
potential answer. They might not even have
a right answer. They might be out
also. You never know
what's going to happen. Sam
goes first, then Jacob,
Hal, Chris,
and me. Okay.
And are we good on the pizza, Jacob?
It's really good.
Yeah, but can we just close it up?
Do you need more?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I like how you're like,
show this round the respect it deserves
by closing the pizza.
It's just a big, huge, gigantic, distracting pizza.
That is true.
It's a metaphor for the person who brought it.
That's why I actually couldn't get it.
It's so full of garlic, Doug.
I didn't get the last one because I was so distracted.
Oh, now Hal's going to have some.
There you go.
It's really good.
That's what caught my attention was when you were asking other people if they wanted some pizza.
Oh, okay, you're closing it up.
Like half.
Half closed. No, that's fine're closing it up. Like half. Half closed.
No, that's fine.
That'll work.
There's some jalapenos I just noticed.
All right, you good?
Where is someone who chose the Twitter name
Neil Pert is God?
Are you here?
Yeah?
What?
The fucking
drama from Rush, right?
The fucking drama from Rush.
You're a big Rush fan?
Not really.
What?
It's an old, what? Oh, it's an old what?
Oh, it's an old gamer tag.
So you used to be really in a rush.
Not really.
You just picked it in a moment of...
It's a legend.
Because he's a legend.
Okay.
You realize you're contradicting yourself
with everything you say, right?
Don't attack Reed.
Don't attack Reed.
But if you do, make sure your mouth is full.
Fucking rush, brah.
Alright, so that is Reed?
Yeah.
I know, is this illegal?
No, it's fine.
It happens sometimes, just a coincidence.
What's your choice for the last man standing today joseph gordon levitt jgl
i know so many movies based on being like it's the one with the
right yeah that's the thing you can't describe. You have to come up with the actual title. And Sam, go ahead and start us off with any Joseph Gordon-Levitt vehicle.
Tim, in 10 Things I Hate About You.
Okay.
Of course, Third Rock from the Sun does not count.
Oh, man.
Because he was performing under a girl's name at that time.
was performing under a girl's name at that time.
Jacob,
Joseph, Joseph Jacob,
Jingle Heimer, Schmidt, your name
is my name too.
I'll go with Dark Knight Rises.
Which one? The Dark Knight Rises.
The Dark Knight Rises?
Mm-hmm. Okay.
Hal?
Looper.
Looper.
That's all you have to say. That was my last one.
Chris?
This is boring.
I want to say a better one, but I can't quite remember the title.
Say a boring one.
You've got to hang in there.
You've got to play for read.
50-50.
I love 50-50.
Well, not a boring movie.
Just like that felt obvious.
I wanted...
God, there's so many titles that I know two-thirds of the title.
I'm like, I think I know what this is.
Oh, well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They just don't want to let read down.
No help from the peanut gallery out there.
Oh, and I'm going to play along on this one.
What's happening, peanut gallery?
Don't do it, whatever it is you're doing.
I play along on this game, you guys.
So it's my turn, and I'm going to say...
The Walk.
That's what I could, yeah.
Yeah, that movie where he plays
an Asian chef
and he
is amazing at stir fry.
Yeah.
I'll go
extremely topical.
Snowden.
Yeah, just open, right? Does anybody care?
I saw the Snowden documentary
and that was really good.
Yeah. Oh, Citizen Force. Great.
Yeah. I don't need...
Why do you need a fictionalized version of that?
Same thing with The Walk. Man on Wire is an amazing
documentary. The Walk...
Not so much.
Not so much. Not so much.
Not so much.
Jacob? Inception.
Of course.
That movie wouldn't have existed if
they used
your condoms.
I got a deflating balloon in the audience.
Hal?
For me, a film that launched this guy as an actor from sitcoms into a real movie actor, The Lookout.
Yep. Okay. It's on my list, too. I like how we real movie actor, The Lookout. Yep.
Okay.
It's on my list too.
I like how we're all like,
sure, okay.
What is that movie?
It's a really good movie.
What is it?
What's that one about?
Yeah, I've never seen it.
Such a good indie film.
It's a good movie.
There you go.
Check it out.
God, I don't,
I think I'm going to make,
should I,
I could guess,
I think,
I don't know,
or should I,
because if I guess and I didn't use him, if I guess, I'm out.
Yeah, you should probably use read before guessing.
But I think I know what it is because I feel like it could be a waste.
I'm just going to take a big swing and maybe be out.
Oh, that could be wrong.
Can I ask you if this is correct?
No, just use read.
See what reads God and save yours.
Oh, great.
Okay.
Yeah, read. What? What? Oh, great. correct no just use read what it see what reads god and save yours oh great okay yeah read what oh great there we go that was the one i was thinking of okay so you're going with
yes yeah okay that's thank you
no he's correct of course um yeah i'm just gonna grab at one that like, I'm terrible with numbers, but I'm just
going to take a shot.
A hundred days of summer.
Nope.
Sam, I was going to say, actually it was the one I was gonna say next.
It's 500 days.
500.
God damn.
That's a long ass summer.
Yeah.
She's not so new girl after 500 days.
And he's back in and he's back in.
I'll tell you that Jacob
Chelsea Chelsea got anything anything besides pizza no she doesn't have anything
wow but you've got a lot of delicious pizza in your stomach.
Chelsea?
She doesn't have anything.
I was just thinking maybe she thought of something while I was thinking.
Oh.
No.
The what?
The bike messenger?
Now she's just guessing that he might be in something about a bike messenger.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't describe movies.
Give them an answer or don't.
You didn't. Jacob.
Jacob.
I'm just mad at myself
for not thinking of that one.
Because it doesn't have a stupid number
in the title. Okay, Jacob's
out. Hal. I'm out.
Fuck.
Let's go to my boy Jason born again
we're going to his boy
oh good one
okay yo I'm going to go with
the indie
high school film
Brick
there you go
I was thinking of the
what good call see me out there I was thinking of the What?
Good call. See me out there.
I was thinking of the Bike Messenger movie, but I don't know
what it's called. Is it called Premium Rush?
Yes!
Wow. Yes!
From downtown. Doesn't that? Yeah.
Taking all the good ones. From downtown.
Whoa, yeah.
I believe he was a young lass in a little
film called Angels in the Outfield.
Wait, that's the best one so far.
That's his best movie.
He just called him a young lass.
Sure did.
Because he has his long hair back there.
That's the best movie so far.
Jacob's a big fan of Anal in the Outfield.
Big fan of Anal anywhere.
Back to you, Hal.
It sounds like we're doing a news report. Back to you, Hal. It sounds like we're doing a news report.
Back to you, Hal.
Thank you, Doug.
Allow me to pause and think.
You got nothing.
You can't topple the mighty Sam Levine.
Oh, uh... I saw Mommy Tickle Santa Claus? the mighty Sam Levine. Oh.
I saw Mommy Tickle Santa Claus.
Oh.
That helped me think of another one.
All right.
But you're out.
Chris, I know I'm out,
but I still thought of another one.
Chris?
I don't have one,
but is he in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead?
No.
I have nothing.
I have nothing. I have nothing on his head. I have nothing. I didn't have any time. You never even went to your Babysitter's Dead? No. I have nothing. Uh-oh. I have nothing.
I have nothing on his head.
I have nothing.
I didn't have any.
You never even went to your lifeline, did you?
No.
Mysterious Skin.
Oh, that's...
Yeah.
Oh, all right.
And there's another one that I'm thinking of that I can't remember the title of.
It's a really weird one.
It's him and Patricia Arquette and Tate Donovan where he's an Amish kid.
Does anyone know this movie?
Witness.
What's it called?
Exactly.
I can't possibly remember the title, but it's a weird movie.
Oh, that's all right.
We don't have to know right now.
What's the Christmas one with Seth Rogen?
Oh, the night after.
The night before.
The night before.
Does he do a voice in fucking Sausage Party?
If he didn't, that'd be kind of weird.
I think he would do that. It would be weird if he wasn't doing a voice right yeah I think we did a pretty good job with that do we miss any Don John
fucking Lincoln he's Lincoln jr. I want to go to war daddy shut up and be the president's son.
God, I knew Don Juan.
What?
Did you really say looper?
I said fucking looper, bro.
That's your looper thing.
All right, so Sam wins again.
Let's play one more game to determine our big winner tonight.
And it's a game called Jason and Deb's IMDb Game.
Super fun, newish game where you know how everybody has a top four on their IMDB page to best known for they like to say but it's a curious metric by which they
arrive at the top four plus they say that they're going to allow people to
choose their own top four if you sign up for the IMDB Pro or whatever I'm not
gonna mess with it but some people might
all of that in consideration
this is a game where you have to try to guess
who I'm talking about
when I start listing off
their top four on IMDB
you can buzz in at any time
using your own name so keep your microphone
close to your face
and just
Chris and Hal you just say chris or hal depending on
which one you are okay okay okay as soon as you think you know it now the first title yeah could
be anybody that's in that movie so you don't want to be too hasty it's not necessarily the lead
and if you're wrong negative one point sage advice but if you're right, negative one point. Sage advice. But if you're right, at whatever point you jumped in,
whatever number of movies are remaining in the top four,
you get to guess what they are for one bonus point each.
What do we play to?
We're going to play four rounds, and a tiebreaker is ready.
Okay.
If need be.
Okay.
God.
I'll read. Here we go.
Whose top four begins
with
The Wizard of Oz?
Okay, you guys are playing smart.
Might be a little too early to jump in.
The second title in this person's top four,
it's not always movies, but it usually is.
But the second title is As the World Turns.
Hmm, indeed.
Indeed.
The third title.
Nothing sacred.
Hal.
What do you got, Hal?
Bert Lahr.
No.
Okay. I just
for some reason
I like the way
you said it
it was good
confidence too
well he's
Bert Lahr
the actor
yeah yeah
alright sit the rest
of this one out Hal
yep
negative one point
for you
13 ghosts
is the fourth title
in this person's
top four on IMDb.
Anybody want to venture a guess?
Sam can't believe this is happening.
Well, I just, I know who it isn't.
I know lots of who it isn't and who it can't be.
It's not Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
So that's good.
Or Burt Lahr. Or Burt Lahr.
It's not those two.
I learned that the hard way.
It's not Buddy Epson.
Because he had a makeup test
that went poorly and lost the part of Tin Man
to someone who wasn't
allergic to that shitty makeup.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
The answer is
the Wicked Witch herself,
Margaret Hamilton.
Margaret Hamilton.
Oh, right.
I knew it wasn't Jack Haley.
That was a tough one.
All right, let's try another one, you guys.
The only damage there was that Hal's got negative one.
Everyone else is in the lead.
Wow.
You're all in the lead with zero.
My goal is to win with zero.
That's the best case scenario for me.
Who's top four begins with Fantasia 2000?
Oh, my God.
I'll tell you somebody it's not.
It's not Margaret Hamilton.
Dead.
Second title.
Beaches.
Jacob.
What is it, Jacob?
Is it Bette Midler?
That's correct.
Because what's the Fantasia?
Fantasia 2000?
I don't know.
She must be a voice or something in it.
After Fantasia, I was like, unless it's Walt Disney, I don't know.
I'll never.
I don't know.
You get two more guesses, Jacob.
How about The Witches
and Outrageous Fortune?
No and no.
The Witches is actually
called Hocus Pocus.
Right, right, right. The Witches is...
No, there is a movie called The Witches.
That's great. That movie's good.
We're not playing... What's her name?
Angelica Houston.
Hocus Pocus is what it was.
And the fourth one, you know, there's
no embarrassment not getting this.
Bette Midler in concert.
Wait, that would have been a good guess.
That's so funny.
I'm surprised that's not all four of them.
Like it's
greased
IMDB to get that out there, man.
All right.
Let's see what happened there Jacob got one point for getting back Midler correct and Chris and Sam follow
with zero each and how has a let's not get into it I feel a fierce comeback
coming in the form of Hal Rudnick.
Oh, thanks. Thank you.
Whose top four starts with...
Sex and the City.
And then the second thing in this person's top four
is Sex in the city
the HBO version Sarah Jessica Parker that's correct so Sam's got a point, and he gets to name two more Sarah Jessica Parker projects.
SJPPs.
SJPPs.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to say Sex and the City 2.
And?
And, oh, wow.
What else did she have in there?
L.A. Story.
Oh, okay.
She was in that for sure.
Yeah.
Sex and the City 2 is correct.
But they managed to squeeze in there.
Like I said, the metric for this thing is impossible to figure out.
Ed Wood.
Oh. I was going to guess The Family Stone. That's funny. he's in there. Like I said, the metric for this thing is impossible to figure out. Ed Wood.
I was going to guess the Family Stone.
That's funny. I was thinking of the other Tim Burton movie she's in,
Mars Attacks, but obviously that's not a thing.
How did you know to go
and buzz in with the confidence of Sarah Jessica Parker?
I thought that was too obvious. I was like, what was Steve's
name? What's Steve's name?
Oh, damn.
Yeah, that's true. It was pretty... pretty no not to take out anything away oh my god of course not yeah but you could have gone with one of those other four great actresses
those other three I mean you could have said Mario Cantone he was one of the three other great actresses
sam's got two points now fuck jacob has one how minus one chris
you're in this very special kind of third place i will truly take it yeah this is when i really
here we go
I will truly take it.
Yeah.
This is when I really... Here we go.
Scarface.
Michelle Pfeiffer.
Oh, sorry.
Jacob.
Jacob, Michelle Pfeiffer.
Jacob.
Michelle Pfeiffer.
Jacob.
Jacob, sorry.
Jacob.
Yes.
What's your answer?
Michelle Pfeiffer is my answer, Doug.
That is correct.
All right.
Well played.
You get three
more guesses. So
right now, Jacob, you're
at two to two with Sam.
And we'll
have to go to a tiebreaker unless you can
name at least one of
the three remaining Michelle
Pfeiffer titles.
Name three of them
and then I will tell you.
The Witches of Eastwick,
Batman Returns,
and Dangerous
Minds.
They went with
Dark
Shadows,
What Lies Beneath
and Batman Returns.
You did it.
You squeaked it out
to a three point.
You won with three points, Jacob.
Congratulations.
Let's do the tiebreaker for fun.
I wrote it down.
Why not do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. congratulations let's do the tiebreaker for fun I wrote it down why not why not
do it yeah yeah but Jake Jacob is the winner of the whole thing of the whole
thing of the whole pizza yeah they get the whole pie yeah she's gonna have some
wine with her pizza and some vibrators with her wine thanks Thanks for that, Jacob.
All right, so we had Margaret Hamilton,
Bette Midler,
Sarah Jessica Parker,
and Michelle Pfeiffer.
The witches.
Again, I was not going
to point that out just yet.
I was going to play
this one last round
and see if anyone else
could figure it out.
Mask. Mask.
Sam.
Yes, Sam?
Cher.
All right, Sam.
If you can get three more, I'll call you the winner over Jacob.
Three more Cher movies.
No, just for fun.
What other three was it?
I'll go with Mermaids.
more share movies no just just for fun what other three ones i'll go with uh mermaids um
the buena vista social club or no that's not what it's called a tea with mussolini that's the one i'm thinking of tea with mussolini and uh uh moonstruck i were sharing concert
that's my guess.
They did go with the Sonny and Cher collection.
I have a point.
That must just be somebody
working hard to sell those or something.
A movie she was in called Burlesque.
Oh, wow, with Lady Gaga.
Oh, yeah, Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga was in there.
I'm not monitoring this IMDB page right now.
What's her name was in it?
And
Moonstruck.
You did get Moonstruck right, so good job.
Oscar winner for Moonstruck.
But yeah, Jacob is still our winner, so Chelsea
come get all this stuff.
This is a burden for you.
You could pass the wine out to audience members
if you'd rather not take a whole box full of six bottles of wine.
Come on, you want to.
Sorry, I opened that up.
Hooray, you did it.
Very good job.
Do you want the rest of your pizza back?
No.
No.
So that's yours to keep, Jacob.
Yes.
Congratulations.
Why are you handing that back?
Because he's got to write a shithead on the back.
Oh, good work, Sam.
Sam is on top of it.
Do you guys want to play one more game just for giggles?
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
You guys wanna play one more game just for giggles? Yes!
Yes!
Yeah!
I don't need Chelsea's shithead,
but I'll take the rest of these,
and that gentleman's once he's finished over there.
He's probably waited, did you wait till now
so you could write down something personal?
Is it people who bring pizza for a name tag or a shithead?
Oh no, I see what you did here.
Good choice.
Let's play How High Can You Get?
You win.
All right, thanks for coming, everybody.
All right, no. How high can you get is uh so jacob won that one so we'll start with jacob and we'll switch the order around we'll go to uh sam and then chris and hal and you guys for the first
round you have to take turns naming a movie of a genre that i'm about to name that begin with one word then we rotate the starting
order over one and then you do the next round you have to come up with a movie
that's two words three four etc and a guy that really wanted to see you guys
struggle wrote to me on Twitter and he suggested his name is Andy Gore, and he wants us to do prison movies.
Wow.
Prison movies, yeah.
So, Jacob, start us off with a prison movie with one word in the title.
A one-word title prison movie.
Okay.
Just anyone at all from all those one word title prison movies.
I think it counts because it's hyphenated.
To hyphenate it.
Words count as one word?
Well, let's find out.
I make the final decision.
With lock up.
Lock up?
Sam is shaking his head.
Why, Sam?
Is the hyphenated word one word?
No, it's two words.
It's two words. It's lock space up. But if it's hyphenated. Why, Sam? Is the hyphenated word one word? No, it's two words. It's two words.
It's lock space up.
But if it's hyphenated.
You know what?
I can't be the judge.
Maybe the audience should be the judge.
Well, no, because then if I had to go fucking quiz the audience every time,
they'd all make a bunch of stupid noises.
I'm not the host of the show.
And they also wouldn't necessarily be right.
Fair enough.
I'm not the host.
I leave it to you to decide.
I've decided that it's okay. Very well. That he got it past us. Fair enough. I'm not the host. I leave it to you to decide. I've decided that it's okay. Very well.
That he got it past us.
Very well. I will go with the movie.
Because you shouldn't lose on the first round.
No, I agree. It's a tough one, though.
Do those count in this game? Yes.
I'm going to go with a movie called
Life. Yes.
Total prison movie.
Total prison movie. Oh, wait. Sorry. We all do
one, then we all do two? Yeah.
Oh, I thought it was one, two, three, four. Oh, wait. Sorry. We all do one and then we all do two? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was
one, two, three, four. Oh, well, fuck.
No, it would really be over fast.
I mean, that's what I thought. Yeah. If we went one, two, three, four.
You just have to do a one-er.
Gotta add two threes,
baby.
Yeah, I don't
want to make everyone sit here
while I think. I don't know.
You guys hang out. Chris has got some thinking to do. Yeah, please. I don't want to make everyone sit here while I think. I don't know. You guys hang out.
Chris has got some thinking to do.
Yeah, please.
I don't have one...
One word prison movie.
I didn't care about Lock Up,
but now I'm mad that it counts as one.
I mean, if I just say a word,
it might be a prison movie, right?
Yeah, go ahead.
Try.
What was yours?
What did you say? I said life. Like movie, right? Yeah, go ahead. Try. What was yours? What did you say?
I said life. Like containment, maybe? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
What are you going to go with?
I got nothing. I got nothing.
I just gave you a perfect...
Oh, is that a movie?
Containment. Is that a prison movie?
No, that's not a movie, but I'll accept it.
Hal?
I truly have no idea.
Start thinking about a two-word one.
Hal?
Yeah, this absolutely
we're in
Visit Prison Here.
Colors. Colors, okay.
It's got some prison stuff in there.
I don't know if it's the genre,
but if his wasn't even a movie, that should definitely count.
Yeah.
All right, so next round.
Two words, Sam.
Jailhouse Rock.
Ooh.
That's fun.
Chris?
It literally has jailhouse in the title.
Huh?
Never mind.
No, I was saying Hannah Jacob.
Oh, uh...
Don't go yet.
Okay.
Because you know that it rotates over one each round.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I said it.
We were here minutes ago.
So, Chris?
It is me.
Well, there's only a prison a little bit,
and this is such a gay answer,
but Les Miserables, there is a prison in that.
I'll accept that as a prison.
Thank you.
Are you kidding me?
Thank you.
Look down, look down. Yeah, okay, okay, a prison in that. I'll accept that as a prison. Are you kidding me? Look down.
Look down.
Okay, okay, okay.
All right.
That's gay enough.
Hal.
Doug, where do they get their contestants
for this dystopian future game show
called Running Man?
Oh, whoa Man Prison.
Fucking Prison.
That's The Running Man.
The Running Man.
Fucking Prison.
The.
So save that one for later unless
someone takes it before you and give us
a two word prison movie.
You can do it.
Shawshank Redemption.
The Shawshank Redemption.
So we'll put that one on account for three-word titles.
This is a mellow late night jam.
Oh.
Three Musketeers.
The Three Musketeers.
Wow.
Oh, what a...
And also, not really a prison movie.
Oh, Dark Tanyan got locked up.
Yeah, he got locked up.
He got thrown in the pokey.
Oh, and Aramis.
I remember the name of Aramis as one of the three musketeers
because my father used a cologne called Aramis.
And scene.
Okay, how much time do I have left?
Your father's Armenian?
No, just from the 80s.
You seem to be pretty much out of time
just a prison movie with two words
in the title
just spit it right out
just envision it
Blue Streak
Blue Streak?
is that a prison movie?
that's the whole premise
not a lot of it takes place in prison
but he goes to prison
I just like the way you just blurted it out That's the whole premise. Not a lot of it takes place in prison. But he goes to prison.
I just like the way you just blurted it out.
I'm excited about that.
All right.
I didn't go yet.
Jacob gets to go with two words. You just did the whole third round for us.
I think so.
That was great.
That's going to be easy.
I think he did.
I'm going with bad boys, the Sean Penn bad boys.
Yeah, bad boys.
Oh, yeah.
What you going to do? All right. So now we got to go, the Sean Penn Bad Boys. Yeah, Bad Boys. Oh, yeah. What you going to do?
All right.
So now we got to go to the three round, Chris.
You start us off.
You had all those ones to cherry pick from.
I'll the Green Mile.
The Green Mile.
OK.
Al?
The Shawshank Redemption.
Either one of the longest yards.
Okay.
American History X.
All right.
So you didn't even use all the ones that were out there.
But that's cool.
Hal, you got a four-word prison title?
A lot of this takes place in prison Because they fucking let out the prisons
The Dark Knight Rises
Wait what
They let out the prisons
So it takes place
Gotham becomes a prison
Yes who's fucking Bane's army
Prisoners that he lets out of jail
Right so there's no
Scenes in a prison at all
They're just all out
It's not really a prison at all. They're just all out. But then there are a couple of thoughtful moments.
It's not really a prison movie.
But I appreciate your effort on that.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thanks.
You're out.
You got one, Jacob?
It's on me?
Yeah.
How'd it come back so fast?
Just rockets around, don't it?
I don't think I have one.
Oh, wait.
No.
All the great prison titles are three words.
Sam's got one.
I hate prison.
Movies.
I mean, I hate prison.
I've had prison nightmares my whole life. So I kind of avoid those genres.
Oh, I just thought of one. The Cool Hand Luke.
Nothing?
Yeah, four of them, no.
Alright, Sam, escape from
LA.
Sorry, escape from New York. How about that?
That's four of them.
Chris, keep it easier. I that? That's four words. Okay, Chris. Los Angeles. Chris.
Keep it easier.
I don't have a four one.
I thought of a one word one since I didn't do it before,
but I don't have a four one.
Chris, what did Sam just say?
I don't know.
I was really trying to think of my own.
Yeah, that's why I clarified.
I think L.A. is two words.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
If it was Los Angeles.
Los Angeles.
The angels.
It's ambiguous.
Something like that.
He was smart to go to New York.
Somebody's got to decide, though.
You got anything, Chris?
No, I'm out.
I'm out.
All right.
Well, Sam just said escape from L.A., And then he switched it to escape from New York.
I got it.
So then I will say escape from L.A.
Great.
Well played.
All right.
Six words.
Five, right?
Oh, sorry.
Five words.
Sam?
Does it start with me?
I don't know.
When two guys are dropped out, I don't know how to do that.
Like, I guess, technically, maybe we should start with, it would have gone, yeah, because
you'd be the next one that would have to go.
I mean, you got this in the bag if Chris can't think of one.
I mean, you've got this in the bag.
I'm working on a 5-1.
I'm working on a 5-1.
I just thought of another three-letter one.
Three-letter one.
Anything, Sam?
We've got to wrap it up.
Well.
We had a lovely time tonight.
Yeah.
Jacob and Hal are still eating pizza.
I mean, does it end in a tie if neither of us can name a fiver?
What?
Does it end in a tie if neither of us can name a fiver?
No, you win.
What?
I mean, also, there's no prizes on the line. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We could say you guys tied.
Sure.
I'm fine with that.
That could be a first ever.
Yeah, right?
I've been helped along quite a bit.
You can win this one. No, no, no. I think it's you. I'm trying to come up with a five. That could be a first ever. I've been helped along quite a bit. You can win this one.
I think it's you.
I'm trying to come up with a good fiver.
I know, right?
Does anybody don't say it?
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, fuck, I have a six.
Oh, he's got a six.
Somebody's got a seven.
Does anybody don't say the title,
but does somebody have a five? I do. I have a seven. Does anybody, don't say the title, but does somebody have a five?
I do.
I have a 14,
but I'm not going to tell anybody what it is.
I think I have one like him where there's no actual jail
in it. Can I run this by? I think there's no jail.
No country for old men.
You never see him in jail, right? He's just a crazy person.
He's just like a bad guy.
But he should be in jail.
Sure. there we go
alright the guy in the audience what's your five
I love you Philip Morris
that's pretty sweet
got a lot of prison in that
my six was going to be in the name of the father
yeah that's a good six
Pete Possilwate
epic
seven where's the seven guy
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter
and the Prisoner of Azkaban
You son of a bitch
That most certainly has
no prison scenes in it
Prison turned out to be a tough
subject for that.
But everybody, y'all were good sports.
What do you got to plug, Sam?
Promote yourself.
Okay, again, go to roosterteeth.com and check out Crunch Time.
Episodes one and two you can stream for free without signing up for anything.
And then there's four more after that.
And if you sign up this week for a free 30-day pass,
you can see a new episode every Sunday, catch the whole series,
and then if you like it, stick around.
It's $5 a month.
Or you can pay $10 and get a season pass on iTunes for it,
but it's a really good show.
It's called Crunch Time, and check it out.
I promise you'll like it.
Thank you.
Yes.
Yes.
The Wolverine promise.
Damn right.
It's very sacred.
Jacob?
Same stuff as last time.
I'm doing the San Francisco Punchline
on September 28th and 29th
with my friend Kasim Bentley.
We do a show where we,
he's my black friend, I'm a Jew,
that didn't come up tonight for the first time,
but now it did, I guess,
where we just do kind of dueling racist crowd work for like
an hour. It's a really fun show, so anyone
listening in the San Francisco area, or if you guys want to book
your tickets, it's not that expensive.
On Virgin, I think
they got a good deal. Just fly in for this thing.
So yeah, fly in for a Wednesday, Thursday racist crowd
work show in San Francisco.
And I'll be at the
what's it called? The Oddball Fest? What do they call that big comedy
thing? I'm doing that on the Saturday after the 30th.
The Oddball Comedy Festival tour thing?
The Oddball Comedy Fest, yeah.
But I don't need to promote that,
because I think there's people bigger than me.
People will show up.
They'll sell tickets to that,
but I'm just kind of bragging that I got to be a part of it.
That's awesome.
Very good.
That's great.
That's great.
Hal Rudnick?
Thanks, Doug.
Yeah, I host the Screen Junkies show
on the Screen Junkies YouTube channel.
And you probably know Screen Junkies
from the Emmy-nominated Honest Trailers.
And thank you.
And Screen Junkies Plus is our new service.
And Doug Benson himself has an awesome,
fucking funny new show called Pitch Off with Doug Benson.
Yeah, people heard all about that already.
Fuck yeah, bro.
Thank you, man.
Thanks for being a part of it.
Subscribe to Screen Junkies, Screen Junkies Plus,
and hit me up on Twitter at Hal Rudnick.
Thanks.
Great job, Hal.
Thanks, Doug.
Chris Kelly has a motion picture you can see now
called Other People.
It's a prison film, yeah.
It's about a prison.
Emotional prison, maybe.
Yes, yeah.
Whoa.
Every movie's a prison movie if you want it to be.
Yeah, it's called Other People.
Yeah, and it's got a lot of good people in it.
We filmed part of it at UCB with Molly Shannon, Jesse Plemons, and yeah, it's out.
So it's like an indie movie city.
So it's in LA and New York and other places like that.
It's also on iTunes.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll really vouch for it.
It's got so much great response and rotten tears.
I can't wait to see it.
That's so nice.
So many funny people in it.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Yeah, check it out.
Yeah.
And I do legitimately love Train.
And I'm very glad they let us use their song.
And I love Train wine.
Go buy Train Wine.
They are artists.
I'm terrible at winking. I expected a lot
of this was going to be more Train-centric. I was very out of my
element. You know, I like to put drops of stuff
in girls' hair, but it's not Jupiter.
Usually. It's a callback
to my prizes.
Y'all got grape flavor?
That's how I like my wine. I don't know what's happening SNL is back what date like yeah I think yeah please please why new co-head writer
yeah Kate McKinnon won the Emmy last night. She was awesome.
Good acceptance speech. Good for her.
Good for everybody.
Good for everyone.
That's awesome. I think I've got one more
plug here to say.
Oh yeah, the next event
LA event is the
Benson movie interruption of Mean Girls
at CineFamily on
October 3rd, which is actually
Mean Girls Day.
In the movie, Lindsay
Lohan says it's October 3rd when
somebody asks her what the date is.
Fascinating, I know.
We're going to have some fun
with it. Thank you guys so much for being
here. One more time for Sam Levine,
Jacob Searoff, Hal
Rudnick, and Chris Kelly.
Hooray.
And as always,
Roger Klotz is a
shithead.
And
Andy the Birthday Bear Shore
is a shithead.
Goddamn birthday bear.
And malfunctioning disposable vaporizer cartridges are a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
He hides a bolt of view and prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies