Doug Loves Movies - Hannibal Buress, Brooks Wheelan, Matt Bearden, and John Erler Guest
Episode Date: March 22, 2015In a second dispatch from SXSW in Austin TX, Doug welcomes Hannibal Buress, Brooks Wheelan, Matt Bearden, and John Erler to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Califo...rnia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby sticky seeds
With 50 as his number, we're all 50
There's still not more that he won't see
But Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
We love movies!
Ha ha!
I had a feeling that it would be particularly sloppy today,
that this is Doug Loves Movies singing,
but that was close enough.
I'm just excited that you're all here.
It's music weekend of South by Southwest,
so there's lots of bands and things you could be seeing right now
and lots of places where you could be drinking
or maybe out on a patio smoking.
And right now you're stuck indoors.
And I even heard that some people had their donut name tag confiscated
yeah so apologies for that
I didn't see that one coming
just from venue to venue
it'll surprise me when they suddenly
don't let people bring donuts in
because it seems like a perfectly innocent thing
they don't sell donuts here.
It's not like you're fucking with their donut concessions
by bringing your own.
But I also see their side,
that there might just be a bunch of smashed donuts on the ground
after the show that they have to clean up,
and they didn't get any money off of it.
I'm just trying to apologize, man.
There's nothing we can do.
You know what?
I'm going to reach into the prize bag
and just give you a random item
from the bag for your trouble.
It's not even going to be a good item.
It's not that random.
I know what's in here.
Sorry, I just hit you in the... I hit you in the face with that shit. Do you want one of those two? Because we've got three of them in here. I don't know why. All right.
I'll give you one. But you seem like you're getting a little out of control. Kick him the fuck down.
Maybe Amy Adams.
I'll try to hit the other guy.
If you Amy Adams,
your face is totally kickable
from the stage.
The front row is pretty close, dude.
Here, I'm going to try to throw this in your face.
Oh, I missed.
Hit his dick instead.
All right, I wrote down some comments.
I might repeat myself.
This is our second show from this particular South by Southwest,
but our first one from the Stateside Movie Theater.
Yeah.
Right here on Congress with the Capitol building right there.
It's a beautiful backdrop for all the movies that they've been showing at South By that are anti-government.
I saw two great movies today right here in this very theater, and I will probably see another one later tonight.
It's Saturday, March 21st.
20, 15 heads in a duffel bag.
Now I know
that it's not 15 heads
in a duffel bag, but seriously,
think about it.
I think that's what held
eight heads in a duffel bag back.
I think it would have been a hit
with seven more heads.
Since the last time I spoke
and you listened, I smoked weed
with Willie Nelson. more heads since the last time i spoke and you listened i smoked weed with willie nelson
so thank you austin texas for making that dream come true
i got a verbal commitment from him i don't know if any of his commitments actually count
because he's high all the time but i got a commitment that he when he's in la this summer
he's gonna be touring that he will stop by and do getting doug with high yeah so i'm very excited
about that uh the next live episode of getting doug will be monday at 4 15 at my YouTube channel, youtube.com slash Doug Benson. Oh,
4.15 Central Time.
Yeah,
so you can smoke with me and my
guests at 4.20, Austin.
Now, let me see your name tags.
I don't have a lot of time to talk about them
because we started a couple minutes late, but
we see there's plenty of them,
so that's good.
J.J. Oz,
your name's J.J.,
and you put an extra J in front of Jaws.
I put it all together.
I'm pretty smart.
Oh, no, the donut guy just wrote on a piece of paper.
What does it say?
I can't read it from here.
Baby Darren's Day Out.
That's what it said on the donuts?
So you have
some conceptual
troubles.
I don't know. I'll ask
the panelists if they don't pick this
piece of paper that you've written that on.
If they don't pick it, I'll ask them, but if there were
donuts, would you have picked it?
Just out of curiosity.
But J. Jaws jaws what was the last movie
you saw man uh tower records all things must pass directed by uh i don't think he's been on this show
but he's been on douglas minis uh colin hanks yeah a terrific movie about tower records i i watched
it uh yesterday and and spent the entire time
every time they talk about a new Tower Records open
I'd be like, I was at that Tower Records
because I toured around doing stand-up comedy obviously
and so I have memories from all the Tower Records
and so it was maybe the most depressing movie I ever saw
and I saw Kurt Cobain's home movies today
that was pretty heavy as well movie I ever saw. And I saw Kurt Cobain's home movies today.
That was pretty heavy as well.
I said,
let me see your name tags, and I only talked about
one of them. But good job.
Because I also said I was in a hurry.
Somebody
just took a picture from the back,
and that's cool
I like that you guys take pictures
I just got curious
as to what was on the screen behind me
okay got music
you can put your arm down
so you have a big sign that says got music
but what's your name?
your name's on the other side? but i can't see it what does it say
nathan all right nathan why but why does the other sides that you were showing me why does
it just say got music are you trying to because we're in austin live is it the live music capital of the world? Is that what they call it?
Yeah, and they enforce it by making you listen
to some real fucking crunchy folk music
when you get off the airplane.
Actually, I'm disappointed now
if there isn't live music when I get off the airplane.
I'm like, where's my goddamn live music?
Live music capital of the world.
All right, so I got some more things I should say, probably.
How many non-badge holders got in today?
Yeah!
Good for you.
How many badge holders are here?
That could be a man or a woman when you think about it.
Okay, one more thing before I get our guests out here.
I'm very excited to say, and it's already been on sale,
so a lot of you probably already know about it,
and a lot of you are probably from,
who here's not from, who didn't?
Who here came to South By that's not from, who didn't? Who here came to South By that's not
from Austin?
Nice to see you
from all the places that you're from, and I'm sure
I'll hear from you later
on Twitter and whatnot, but
it's always an interesting mix.
I love playing Austin, though,
and for all the people that
live here, they're great crowds.
So, Douglas Movies returns to Cap City in Austin on Saturday, May 30th at 4.20ish.
Which you guys here know today that 4.20 means 4.32.
We might have even pushed it to 34.
Or 35.
Which frustrates me as a pot smoker
because I'm back there ready to go,
and they're like, well, we're holding
because there's too many people at the bar in the lobby.
And I was like, yeah, because they can't fucking smoke in here,
so they're going to have the drinks that are allowed
because they sell them.
That's what's got to happen. Texas needs to legalize it.
And then South by Southwest needs to have a weed theater
where they show all of their best movies,
but for a crowd that's all fucking smoking weed
and adding a layer of smoke to the film
that makes every movie a horror story.
Let's get my guests out here.
There's four funny dudes,
two of whom live here and two of whom are visiting,
and I think it's going to be a damn good time.
Please give a big, warm Austin South by Southwest
welcome to John Erler,
Matt Bearden,
Brooks Whelan, and Hannibal
Burress!
Hannibal Burress!
Hello.
Hello. Hello.
Who was the first person to say hello?
It was me.
You are the winner of the Pete Holmes Award.
Yeah.
Which means nothing.
It's just, you know, it's one of those honors.
Sounds kind of derogatory for Pete Holmes.
Yeah.
It is a little bit, but, you know,
people love that Pete Holmes wants to speak
when it's not his turn.
That's part of his charm, I think.
You're saying I was speaking when it wasn't my turn.
I was saying hello to you, man.
I know, and I was saying that
Pete always speaks first
before I've spoken to anyone.
That's all that means.
Well, it was just a weird silence, really, and I was trying to anyone. That's all that means.
It was a weird silence, really,
and I was trying to feel that.
I believe that Pete Holmes thinks there's
a weird silence every time he does it.
Ah, okay.
Because every silence around Pete Holmes is a weird silence.
Yeah, I mean,
we're doing a show and there's a bunch of people
and they got out their camera phones and shit
and I just wanted to
say hello. I just think
if I was just sitting here, that shit would be weird,
man. So
who's going to have the Hannibal Buress Award
for starting off a podcast
on a real aggressive note?
Again, that would probably
circle back to Pete Holmes.
Or, no, Kumail comes out pretty hard sometimes.
He comes out swinging.
I'm going to have him back on in Los Angeles tomorrow,
so I'm looking forward to that.
Cool.
But let's meet everybody on the panel,
starting out on the opposite end,
my friend from Master Pancake Whou here in Austin, Texas,
John Erler is here, everybody.
Hello.
I get that reference now.
Oh, yeah, because you've seen Inherent Vice?
I watched Inherent Vice.
Nice.
I love that Josh Brolin calls pancakescake-u, and he yells it.
He yells it at this particular restaurant that he's in,
little cafe.
Looks like it's, what are they?
They're Asian.
You're very perceptive.
Yes.
And speaking of Asians,
the other night we interrupted,
we mocked Leprechaun 3 over at the Lamar Alamo Drafthouse location.
And that was fun, right?
I had a good time.
It was St. Patrick's Day, I should say that.
That's why we did it.
And I'm trying to, every year on St. Patrick's Day here in Austin, Texas,
I want to give the gift of the latest,
most recent leprechaun film in the series.
So next St. Patrick's Day,
you can count on, unless they
won't let me do it for some reason,
maybe leprechauns might try to interfere
or protest.
Leprechaun 4
in space.
In space.
That's a natural way to take it.
That's the only way we could go with the fourth one.
Yeah, well it's funny
because then the next one is in the hood.
And then the one after that is back to the hood.
What's crazier than space?
The hood.
What makes less sense than a leprechaun in space?
One in Compton.
That's Brooks Whelan, everybody.
Visiting Austin for the festival, having some beers.
Yeah, you gotta.
And do you have another, you don't have any more shows?
You don't have to do a performance this evening?
I have like another show, but it's like a local show
at some
coffee shop. I don't know what it is yet.
I'm trying to talk these guys into
doing it with me.
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
What a...
I know.
It's called Sure Thing, though. I know the show. It's Sure Thing. Yeah, It's called Sure Thing, though.
I know the show.
It's Sure Thing.
Yeah, it's called Sure Thing.
On 12th and Lamar.
Yeah, I was like, you should come.
What time is it?
What time is the show?
Like at 8?
Yeah, you should go to it.
That's a little late for me.
Oh, fuck.
I don't know.
I found out it's not that far.
That's exciting for me.
It's close by?
Not too far.
It's a little bit. It's like across the river or something. Oh, I'm's not that far. That's exciting for me. It's close by? Not too far. It's a little bit.
It's like across the river or something.
Oh, I'm definitely not going there.
I don't want to get attacked by bats.
Brooks, you know, a lot of comedians and guests on the show,
I forget to remind them to bring something for their prize bag.
And so my Uber driver here in austin's very nice guy
who gave me a copy of the motion he had a double of the motion picture red on uh on on dv is a dvd
and um yeah and so uh now someone will win a copy of red signed by brooks wheelan
okay it's a one-of-a-kind item. There's no other copies of Rhett
that he signed because he has nothing to do with it.
It's also
just a cellophane, so if you want to
watch it, no more signature ever.
We should go ahead and fix that.
No way.
I didn't even think of that. Why didn't we take the wrapper off?
I thought about it, but just didn't vocalize anything.
I was like, this is a terrible idea.
Take the wrapper off of that thing, if you can.
Oh, God, it's going to take 10 minutes.
All right.
Okay.
And then also for the prize bag, somebody gave me a water bottle that says the Lazarus
effect on it in theaters February 27th.
Seems like it would be gross, but...
So don't use it.
Just proudly display it on your mantle
because it's signed by Hannibal.
Yeah.
And I should also introduce Matt Bearden is here, everybody.
Austin, beautiful, crowd, braving.
You were so patient, you win the Zach Galifianakis Award.
Because he tries to speak as little as possible.
I'm frightened by the large crowd, so I'm hiding here.
It's a nice crowd.
It's really nice.
They were in line when I got here, and then I felt bad,
because I had to do that thing
where you feel like you're cutting,
but I had no other lay-in of the building.
You should have just got in line
and waited your turn.
Well, I walked up.
I did that thing,
and we were talking about it backstage.
I walked up, and I was like,
hey, I'm on the show,
but I don't have any credentials or anything.
And they were like, fuck you.
And I was like, no.
And then they were like, who?
And then I had to do that thing
where when they say who, it's really uncomfortable. And then I had to say it to like six or seven people who I was like no and then they were like who and then I had to do that thing where when they say who it's really uncomfortable and then I had to say it
to like six or seven people who I was there like we don't know fucking nah
this festival is way hard to get in like I was like I want to see future islands
they're like okay fight that woman how big was she tiny but I was like did you
see him on Letterman I gotta gotta see this show, I'm sorry
He's got great stage presence
I wanted to go to that one, but I was too high
So I went to bed
Alright, alright
But Matt brought three little notebooks
That say Ponch on the front of them
All of them?
Yeah, it's a comedy show I used to run
And then I cancelled cancelled and now I have
thousands of fucking notebooks I have to get rid of.
Oh, no.
Congrats, winners! That's good promotion for this show
that, uh, so go ahead and jump
in your DeLorean to check out
Punch. Please do.
It's my favorite, Marty!
And, uh,
I threw two of them at
audience members, so one,
someone's gonna win one of these. Alright, that audience members. Good, good.
Someone's going to win one of these.
All right, that's perfect.
Yeah, that worked out all right.
We got a copy of my CD, Gateway Doug 2.
We got, this is a weird promotional item.
What is it?
The movie McFarlane USA.
What is that?
It's like a weird, is it just like a runner's water bottle or something?
It's a butt chug.
It's a butt chug?
A butt jug.
Oh, a butt jug?
Does that make more sense than butt chug?
It's got like a little carabiner on there that I guess you could just like, that'd be super cool to have this on your hip.
Especially in the vampire community, because they think you've got a little O negative on your fucking...
So that's weird.
Grocery bag of water you could just
carry around.
We got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt.
Oh, John earlier brought some interesting
items. Do you want to tell
everybody about this first one?
So I brought a survival pack for living in Austin
since the legislature just made it legal
to carry guns in public on your body,
like out in the open.
Oh, shit.
You're just finding out about this?
I saw some people out the other day.
They had really big guns.
And they were saying,
black power. And they had a sign that said
no taxation without representation and i was you know i was happy because it's like man
black people with ak-47s in the street and that getting killed
because you're really it's really a big step it is a big step
black dude you get killed for just having nothing not having a gun these guys had guns like you
have a little bit more reason maybe you see a white dude a video with a white dude with an ak-47
and he's talking shit to the police like i can be in front of this school
with his gun i can have my gun in front of this school and the cop is like can you chill
bro please chill i have a gun i'm confused with their sign their pre-revolutionary war
anger of like no taxation like yeah no we haven't for a long time
you guys are fighting the wrong cause right now.
We already won that one.
So the legislature just made it legal for people to carry guns in the open, on playgrounds, and in government facilities.
So I brought a little survival pack for people.
There's a VHS video.
What does it say on there? It's called Learn Gun Safety from Eddie Eagle.
And who's the guest person say on there? It's called Learn Gun Safety from Eddie Eagle. And who's the guest person there on there?
Oh, hosted by Jason Priestley.
Wow.
Who better than an X90210 cast member
to tell you about how to carry your gun in public?
I believe he probably was a current cast member
when this was made.
But maybe not.
He looks pretty young there, though.
Let's just look and see what a couple of the
comments...
Oh, this is interesting.
One of the things they mention on the back
is, who is an adult?
Who would be a safe person to go to
if you found a gun?
While playing in the park, for instance.
In the hallway of an apartment building.
I love how they,
why are so many examples
of where you're going to find a gun?
While riding the bus to school.
You know when you just forget
your gun on the bus?
It happened to,
oh fuck, I can't think of his name.
Robert Blake.
Oh, what?
He left, that should have had't think of his name. Robert Blake. Oh, what? He left...
That should have had on there,
an Italian restaurant.
A booth in an Italian restaurant.
You got your gun in the toilet
of an Italian restaurant.
That's a Godfather joke that didn't work.
I've got a hat that says Deathgasm on it.
Saw that motion picture here at the festival.
And then John also brought a copy of the first Leprechaun.
Well, actually, it's the whole series there.
What?
All seven.
I'll hang on to this one.
Remove the bag.
Remove the bag.
It's a gently used copy of all seven Leprechaun movies.
Holy shit. One through six plus the reboot. Read the copy of all seven Leprechaun movies Holy shit
One through six plus the reboot
Read the names of all seven
Running time 70 minutes
No, they're all feature length
So what's the seventh one?
It's the reboot with some
Oh, reboot
Yeah
I don't care
Warwick Davis is not in it
What's it called?
It's probably not worthwhile
It's just called Leprechaun
Leprechaun Origins?
Origins.
Leprechaun.
Finally, his origin story.
And you brought a book called How Best to Avoid Dying?
That's another part of the survival pack for the new...
Oh, I see.
The new legislature rules about open carry.
But it's written by my good friend Owen Edgerton,
who's also in Master Pancake.
It's a great collection of short stories.
It's signed by the author?
It's signed and dedicated to me.
Oh, you're just passing it along.
I feel a little bit bad about it.
Owen, I love you, man.
Just wanted to get your name out there.
Yeah, and the name of this book, once again,
is called How Best to Avoid Dying.
And the final item in the prize bag,
I say possibly the best for last,
is my friend Esther Koo gave me this very colorful,
I wouldn't wear it because of the colors alone,
T-shirt, but it says,
Fisting the Night Away.
And it's
kind of a lot of pink
tie-dye on the
Fisting the Night Away shirt. So somebody's going to wear that.
If you win it, take a picture of yourself
and post it on Twitter. I'll retweet it.
That was actually the alternate title for
Fifty Shades of Grey.
I like it.
It's too easy.
Fisting the Night Away. I like it.
I like it.
It's a great Sam Cooke song.
Is that who did that?
Yeah.
What?
Fisting.
Fisting, yeah.
Is that research on fisting?
I mean, as far as the amount of people that actually do it.
I feel like it's more of a... I bet you there's at least a, pardon the expression, handful of people that actually do it. I feel like it's more of a...
I bet you there's at least,
pardon the expression,
handful of people
who
don't even know that they fisted somebody.
They didn't do it on purpose.
They just got a little overzealous.
Just kind of getting to the rhythm.
Just filling in a little bit.
We can take a quick poll here.
How many people by show of fists have fisted before?
One timid fist
That's not fair
The fisting and black power are the same
That seems like one of them should complain
Oh, you beat me too
That dude who won
Those guys who won the Olympics were just
really into fisting.
Can I get some water?
Yeah.
I feel horrible right now.
Did you have a good time
last night? Good time. I had a really good
time. I didn't feel horrible
before I got on stage.
I think it's the lights and having us having just saying stuff and I feel like I got a booger in my
right nostril so I don't I don't feel as comfortable or confident as I normally would be.
But I feel like water. Can we get some water? Maybe a tissue? I'll do a beer.
A water, tissue.
Brooks will have another beer.
What's that called?
Power Light?
Power Light.
Power and Light.
Power Light is a different beer.
Power.
Not all the way, though.
Matt, would you like anything?
Sure.
Okay, so Matt will take anything.
He can just bring anything.
A towel, a box.
Oh, people are throwing ninja stars.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You know...
That's how you...
Look at how nicely she folded her panties.
It's a thing of tissues,
and it doesn't look like any of the tissues touched the ground.
It didn't.
She probably touched the last tissue, though, so I'd pull one out and throw it away.
Yeah.
Kind of defeats the whole point of tissues if you're just taking somebody's snotty tissue and using it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I feel real vulnerable right now.
We'll talk to somebody else while you take care of that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Or you could just leave.
Yeah, you could just walk off.
You're going to want to have a good...
Excavate that cavity.
Brooks, have you been to the movies?
Have you seen any movies here at South By?
No.
Just been hanging out?
Just been hanging out.
You gotta get in lines and stuff to see a movie.
Yeah, the leprechaun thing made me think
how they rebooted Leprechaun.
I worked at a movie theater when Alien vs. Predator came out.
And I remember a person, I was selling tickets, and they movie theater when Alien vs. Predator came out. And I remember a person
like, I was selling tickets and they're like, Alien vs.
Predator, what's that? And I was like,
aliens fight predators.
And they go, okay,
yeah, right.
I'm like, alright, yeah,
I guess.
It's probably pretty crazy, sure.
But like, one on
their own is fine with you?
I get the Predator.
I get Alien, but not together.
If I had a movie theater when that movie came out,
I would have shown Alien and Predator.
At the same time?
Back to back.
And then let everybody vote at the end.
Which one won?
That'd be tough.
I mean, adult me likes Alien,
but 15-year-old me loves Predator.
All right, well, you're adult me now.
But man, I watch Predator a lot.
I like any time when you see somebody,
you go to five and then just flex
while you hold each other's hands for a little
while.
Like that's how they'd always introduce themselves.
They'd be like, hey, and then they'd slap hands and make a fucking muscle for like a
few minutes.
They have you, that patch.
Have you seen that patch?
I don't know.
Someone's literally selling a patch that has the muscly arms together.
That sounds great.
It's fucking amazing is what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there, just plug that.
I don't know how the fuck you get it.
Just put in patch, arms.
I saw Chappie.
I did see Chappie.
Chappie is terrible.
They're like, if you don't see that movie,
it's just the worst security for a fucking weapons dealer ever.
They're like, it's, we got these robots,
but don't worry, they're under
safeguard, and then
everyone steals the robots.
They just walk in and take robots.
Yeah, I haven't seen it,
but
I thought of a potentially good joke
about it just now.
It reminded me of that bridge that Kennedy went off of.
Because the whole movie, I was like, Chappie, quit it.
So, Matt, what have you seen?
Well, Doug, I'm glad you asked.
A friend of mine just taught me how to torrent.
I was a super nerd.
I learned how to computer program when I was really young.
And then when I was like 20, I kissed a girl.
And now I don't know how to use computers 20 years later about anything.
And so someone was like, yeah, you can get anything you want.
And I was like, get the what?
20 years later about anything.
And so someone was like, yeah, you can get anything you want.
And I was like, get the what?
But we were in an argument about what movie had highlighted Chicago songs,
the band Chicago, when they had Peter Cetera.
Anyway, that's not important.
But what is important is that sent us down a wormhole, and then I discovered something called Summer Lovers, which we toured.
And it is
amazing. It is
1982 Peter Gallagher. Oh they're in Greece?
Yes. Yeah that's messed up that movie.
Oh it's so good. Peter Gallagher
is 10 and Daryl Hannah
is 9 and they're banging
constantly and then
and then just some third. And then a 7 year old
comes along. Yeah and then some
but it's just weird to see them so young.
And then we watch the trailer you can find online.
Watch the trailer.
There's no clips from the movie.
It's from the POV of a screen.
Everybody knows what POV is.
That's the part of the internet I still know.
And it's just like you people there watching the movie,
and it's telling you what they're...
It's so bizarre how it was done.
And it's a teen romp movie. It's incredible.
So it's like the advertising for
paranormal activity, except sexy.
I don't know that it was any sexier.
It's just people... It's that kind of
19, early 80s, like girls with wings
in their hair and they're wearing skimpy
and then they're getting popcorn on them.
It's weird. I mean, I jacked off to it, sure, but
it's really weird. Anyway,
I think you should see it. I know you like weirdo...
Do you like weirdo movies?
I've seen it. How'd you like it?
I was a child.
And I thought it was awful.
But, you know, you're right about
the nudity and it's in Greece and
probably at more prosperous times
for Greece. So check
it out. I'm really depressed you didn't like that more. No, I'm glad you brought it up.
No one in the audience gives a shit, but I think the two of us could have a really nice
chat with it off podcast. I thought they would have. What's it called again?
I don't know. I don't remember.
It's called Summer Lovin'.
Summer Lovers.
I don't remember.
Summer Lovers and Summer Not.
And who here in this audience
has seen Summer Lovers?
See, that's what happened, Matt.
You're talking about something nobody knows
what the fuck you're talking about.
I talked about Chappy. Barely
nobody knew what the fuck I was talking about.
I was telling them to go see... You bring up summer lovers?
You think they're gonna get that? Go see summer lovers.
You can see it on your thing,
computer.
Well, you really have lost your computer
knowledge.
When that word's hard to find.
Hannibal, you just put on sunglasses?
Yeah, man. I feel like
my eyes look crazy as shit.
Yeah, this makes you
fit in way more.
No, trust me. I need the distance.
He seems
happier this way. I think it's
cool. It covers that because I didn't even
get the whole booger, and so
sunglasses helps compensate that.
I feel good.
Because my eyes,
I was darting around
and I kept looking at people
and it just felt real weird.
The Mitch Hedberg of podcasts.
He always wore sunglasses
on stage.
Yeah.
Because he was saying
he was kind of nervous.
Yeah.
You're that for podcasts.
I'm that for hangovers. This podcast right now when you're hung was kind of nervous. Yeah. You're that for podcasts. I'm that for hangovers.
This podcast right now, when you're hungover at South By.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
We're going to play some games that are going to tax your mind, so I can't wait for that
to happen.
Oh, yes.
I'm pumped, man.
John, what was the last movie you saw, besides Leprechaun 3, which we saw on Tuesday?
That was fun.
I watched Inherent Vice
twice in a row.
Twice in a row?
I did.
Like, as soon as
they're over,
you're like,
what the fuck was that?
I had it for 24 hours
on Amazon,
and so I thought
I'd get my money's worth.
I didn't watch it
immediately after.
I waited 23 hours
to watch it.
Wow.
You only saw one hour.
I was afraid they were going to cut it off
after an hour, but I got to watch the whole thing.
So just FYI, you have
more than 24 hours to watch the movie.
So you
inherit twice.
And what do you get from that
experience? Like the second time, is it
better? Is it worse?
I liked it a lot the first time.
And it wasn't quite as good the second
time, but it was still really good the second time.
Oh, maybe I'll have the opposite reaction.
Because I didn't love it the first time.
But I also
know, having watched it
the one time, that a second time
may not change the fact that it does not
fucking make sense.
And it might not be worth the effort. But I do like
the performances. I love Paul Thomas Anderson in general.
We'll watch anything he does.
I mean, if you like Chinatown, it's the same deal.
All noirs have this convoluted plot
that you're not even supposed to really follow.
Thank you very much.
I saw that movie with my
friend and his girlfriend, and me and my friend
were like, I don't get it.
And she was like, you guys wouldn't.
And I was like, go fuck yourself.
Nobody got that.
Yeah, that's such an easy
stance to take.
You guys just didn't get it.
No, you fucking didn't.
Explain it.
Name two characters.
Two of them. They're full names.
You can't do it.
Joaquin.
Chester. Josh. Shasta.
Josh.
Shasta.
Yeah, but name another.
Doc.
He just watched it twice.
Yeah, but what's Doc's last name?
Huh?
Sportello.
Oh, okay. Somebody shouted.
I knew it anyway.
All right.
I don't know why I'm mad.
Probably because you didn't get it I just remember like
Martin Short showing up and me like perking up
Like this is going to be good and then going
Oh okay Martin Short showed up
But that's about all that happened there
You perked up for the Motopankaku scene. I love that, but
that's like, it's right near the end of the movie
and they highlight it in the trailer
and the previews and stuff, and then it's
at the end of the movie, because it's the funniest scene, but
it also makes no sense.
Moto Pankaku! He just keeps yelling
at him. Hai! Hai! Hai!
Hai!
Moto Pankaku!
Hai!
Yeah, this is probably not good for your hangover Hannibal no I'm fine that was really entertaining
actually
have you seen Inherent Vice
I saw
a decent amount of it
and then I got sleepy
and I never
revisited so
it was confusing and
is that guy was he really a doctor or no?
It's kind of the central question of the movie, really.
He gave like laughing gas to people.
He might have been a doctor.
Sure.
Have you seen anything, Hannibal?
The most recent film I've seen
is Focus starring
Will Smith.
How did that work out?
How hungover
were you for that one?
I was fresh, man.
I was fresh.
I felt good.
You were daisy ready.
I had a naked juice before the movie.
So I was pretty good.
I wasn't drinking that week.
And so I enjoyed it.
It was a little weird, but it kind of inspired me.
I started pickpocketing people recently.
I give it back.
They actually teach you how to do it in the movie?
Yeah, you got to do it in the movie? Yeah, you gotta, you know, you gotta change their focus.
And then once you have their focus, you can do anything.
So if I'm dancing with a girl out and she got a phone in her back pocket, I always take it.
You like squeeze one cheek and pull that phone out of the other one at the same time
that's pretty smooth and i'll take it and then i'm like look what i got and then i think that
i think that girl and it charges our press no that girl in focus margot robbie and um
and will smith i think both of them they could just take everybody's everything they have all
the time because they're will smith and margot robbie like they both of them, they could just take everything they have all the time
because they're Will Smith and Margot Robbie.
Like, they're so beautiful that they could just be like,
I'm going to have your stuff.
And the person would be like, thank you.
I kept on thinking she was the woman from Community.
She's not Gillian Jacobs.
She was in Wolf of Wall Street.
It was her big debut where she showed her...
What? Is that
a vagina?
Uh-huh.
Oh.
I didn't know
that how Doug
says breasts. I didn't know.
There was a vagina in Wolf of Wall Street?
Yeah, yeah. she's got that.
I saw it.
I usually remember seeing vaginas.
I don't remember that.
I also might be confused,
because I saw it on a double bill with Hobbit Part 2.
Okay.
Interesting double bill.
I said part two because I went with accuracy on that joke.
That was good.
Because I really did see those movies back to back,
but I believe there's a scene where she kind of shows up
and is standing in front of him completely naked.
So you see her...
I'll revisit it.
That's good.
I'm such a gentleman.
Only a gentleman would bother to make that noise
instead of saying her pussy.
Sometimes you got to lighten it up, man. You got gotta lighten it up, man.
You gotta lighten it up.
You know what my noise for vagina is?
I can't wait.
It's like the Birdman.
Birdman the rapper.
Wait, there's a Birdman rapper?
Yeah.
And he's not affiliated with the film at all?
No. Actually, he's the original Birdman.? Yeah. And he's not affiliated with the film at all?
No, actually, he's the original Birdman.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, man.
He's like, what the hell is this unexpected virtue I keep hearing about?
All his songs are one take, and you're like, you didn't need to do that.
It's all, it's just rapping and drumming his entire thing and and floating in a room in his underwear i i saw birdman a second time i would have done that
with birdman like watched it twice if i had a vod situation where it was going to expire
because uh i still i don't get it but i i think it's Yeah, there's some mystical shit in there that doesn't make any sense.
I like the stuff that's about the theater,
and how hard it is to be a director
and get your actors all on the same page or whatever,
but then there's parts where he's just flying through the air and stuff.
It's like, what the fuck is going on there?
I spent the whole movie timing how long takes were on my phone,
and then showing my girlfriend, like that was like eight minutes straight.
So I didn't really enjoy it.
So I'm sure she was
pretty horny when you got home later.
Look how long they're acting.
She's a fucking gulch after watching you do that for two hours.
You've been to dry gulch?
So... Yeah, bro.
Fucking buzzards and vultures flying over.
Yeah.
No.
For you.
You get none of them.
All right, you guys.
Did everybody say what movie they saw?
Oh, I saw Rolling Papers right here in this theater
prior to this event.
And it's a very entertaining
documentary about
the first year
of legal weed in Denver.
And I'm excited to say that
on
420 this year,
I'm actually doing three shows
in downtown Denver.
Whoa. Yeah.
Two of them are sold out,
but the 420 still got a few tickets
because I guess there's some people in Denver
that have jobs or something
and can't make it out at 420 in the afternoon.
But it should be a pretty fun day out there.
Let's play some games, you guys.
Yeah.
Let the games begin!
Some nice folks
made some nice name tags.
Some other people made
some not so great name tags,
but that's extenuating circumstances.
So give them
a shot, and whoever
you'd like to play for today, just go ahead
and go physically grab
the name tag
from the person.
We got one vocal guy in the front row.
Everybody else is very polite.
I want that Iron Man mask.
I just want stuff I want.
Does he get to keep the Iron Man mask?
Can I keep that?
I'm not going to actually. I'm not going to keep that
because I've got to walk around. I'd have to hold on to it.
I don't want to do that.
This guy wants to give you his ID. I'm not gonna actually I'm not gonna keep that cuz I gotta walk around I would have to hold on to it I don't want to do that
This guy wants to give you his ID that's a that's not a smart move especially I
Swear I thought I thought that Hannibal just dropped his phone and then crushed it
But it's just a plastic cup, it turns out.
Oh, somebody got the one that Hannibal wanted.
Maybe, Matt, can you give that one to Hannibal?
There's a brawl in the aisle now over name tags.
And while Hannibal finds who he's going to play for,
we're going to go to a commercial break.
We'll be right back.
Okay, there we go.
And we're back. No fighting.
Conflict makes the machine work, man.
All right.
Was that what Steve Jobs used to say?
Yeah.
Who are you playing for, Hannibal?
And don't read the shithead on the back.
Nathan Perez.
And he brought, as we discussed earlier, a sign that says... Got music.
Got music.
Okay.
All right.
It worked, Nathan. Congratulations.
It was pretty bold, and it's clear.
It's a good font.
And kind of, you know, it's a decent
second choice. I think you're the first.
Well, let's just skip ahead to
Matt Bearden, who got your first choice.
What'd you get, Matt?
I don't know. Is your name
Kavius?
It's Kavi. Okay, I'm playing for Kavi.
There's a giant poster for Kavius
Child, the most winning abortion-themed rom-com ever made. It's Kavi. Okay, I'm playing for Kavi. There's a giant poster for Kavi's Child.
The most winning abortion-themed rom-com ever made.
And the only, probably.
But, yeah, and that, of course, stars Jenny Slate.
Yeah. And who else is in that, Hannibal?
Gabe Liebman.
Who? Oh, yeah, yeah, oh yeah yeah Gabe are you in it
no oh okay I thought there was a chance
you might have a little part in there
I just like the movie
I like Jenny so I thought that was cool
yeah I'll switch I feel bad
now no it's really
I'm acting way more mad just cause
it makes for better radio.
I wasn't really going to switch with you.
Okay.
Are the house lights up like we're still picking name tags?
Or have they been up this bright the whole time?
Because I have glaucoma, as you know, and I'm going to need my medicine soon.
Who are you playing for, Brooks?
Michelle, and then you really signed it hard.
I don't know what your last name is.
Leo? Lyle?
What do you think that is?
Yeah, it's tough.
She doesn't need her last name out there.
Ulysses.
But she brought in children.
No, I don't see a lie.
You saw Ulysses?
Is this your child's Iron Man mask?
Oh, it's yours.
Okay, because I was going to call
Protective Services.
I don't know why.
Just to see what they're up to?
That was a big thing in the Rolling Papers movie
is that even though weed's legal
in Colorado,
mothers and fathers of children
can have child protective services
can still take your child away
if they know that you're smoking weed,
even though it's legal.
Well, I'm talking about Iron Man right now.
It's a tricky issue that I just jammed in for no reason.
Is it because you're smoking too much?
Well, that would be up to somebody to decide,
but it'd be somebody from a federal agency that wants to take your baby away so they're going to be hysterical i think and
over judge people like in the movie there's a woman who's writing reviews of weed for a website
and she's worried her kid's going to get taken away because of that and then they take her off
of the reviews and just have her write stories about people with children who smoke weed.
Oh.
Yeah.
She should get a...
This guy over here says it's fascinating.
He loved the movie and then loved hearing me talk about it afterwards.
Who are you playing for, John?
Well, I got a paper bag with excellent handwriting on it
that says The Italian Robbie, so I think
I'm playing for a guy named The Italian.
Or Robbie.
And I like his shithead.
And I thought it was the most sincere
entry written on a paper bag
in the entire theater, so I went to the back
and picked it.
Fair enough. Thank you to everybody
who brought name tags.
I know you're here for the festival,
so you probably just came by to
check out what the hell this is,
so you didn't necessarily pack a name tag.
And again, I'm sorry
for the donut people.
But at least you got
one of Matt's punch notebooks.
So you can always cherish that.
Ask the question.
What?
Why did you just yell out, ask the question?
Ask the donut question.
I was going to ask them a donut question?
Yeah, don't you got donut questions?
Whoa.
I don't know what's happening right now.
Yeah.
His delivery sounded like he was
a plant.
You know, right now...
Don't you have donut questions?
Right about now, I wish
he was a plant
that I could smoke.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I was going to ask them a question.
Oh, thank you.
For being more clear.
Alright.
So let's just do this.
Do you have your name tag that you had?
Okay, hold that up.
Would anyone on this panel
have picked them if you
knew they also had a box of donuts?
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
No doubt. Did you guys bring donuts?
So would one of you like to trade what you
did pick? No, that'd be
mean. Yeah, they already got a notebook.
They're sitting pretty.
What happened?
But yeah, food is a smart...
I can be bought so easily.
Food is a smart move,
but unfortunately this theater doesn't allow food in.
I didn't have a chance to tell them
that they should just let some donuts come in here.
Oh.
Yeah.
It sucks when that happens.
They were round rock donuts?
I don't know what that means.
It means that they're very...
Oh, fuck me for that?
Relax.
It's a goddamn donut.
They're very hard.
I don't...
Dude, I'm like over...
I don't like those voodoo donuts
where it's just like,
this ain't your dad's donut.
It's so lame.
Yeah, we put our dick on this donut.
This donut knows rock and roll.
All right, relax.
Someone just delivered a bucket of treats for the stage.
Let's see what we got.
Fucking donuts.
We got beers for the fellas.
Austin Brew Works.
Check it out. I'll get behind that one. All right, I'll take fellas. Austin Brew Works. Check it out.
I'll get behind that one.
All right, I'll take one.
I don't usually change it up off of my vodka, but what the hell.
You take it.
It came from your team.
Sorry, I didn't mean to whisper that in.
Somebody did bring up four beers for five people.
Matt, do you want one?
No, I'm punishing myself for talking about summer lovers.
I'm not going to drink a beer.
I'm not going to enjoy the rest of my weekend.
I know how to handle myself.
I think you deserve it, man.
Come and get one.
I know that you're going to take it away from me when I reach out there.
I don't do those kind of gags. I know how to be picked on. I'm not a bully. I'm not a bullying person. It's going to happen.. Come get one. I know that you're going to take it away from me when I reach out there. I don't do those kind of gags.
I know how to be picked on. I'm not a bully.
I'm not a bullying person. It's going to happen.
Just come get it. I just can't bring it to you.
Thank you. You're welcome.
Friendship. Sharing.
Life lessons.
I don't know how to respond to kindness.
I just took it because I thought there was enough for all of us.
I'll stick to my vodka.
And I'll let you know when I want another one. And when I do, I'd like a bucket of us. I'll stick to my vodka. And I'll let you know when I want another one.
And when I do, I'd like a bucket of five.
All right.
So this game we're going to play here is going to determine who goes first in the next game,
which I will decide what that's going to be when we know how long it takes to do this.
Because we're way behind schedule right now,
but I'm having so much fun just talking.
I wasn't anxious to get to the games today.
But let's start with Cluster Flicks,
or Don't Yell Out Amy Adams.
And this is a game where I'm going to name three movies
that the same person, a man or a woman,
was involved with all three as an actor.
And then when I get to the third movie, if you know it, just say it or guess.
There's no penalty for guessing.
But if nobody gets it right after three, I'm going to keep adding movies from this person's
filmography until somebody gets it.
It's a free-for-all.
The last time John Erler was involved,
people just started shouting out names of actors
without really any regard for what the clues were.
When you say people, you mean Chris Cubas.
And somebody stumbled into the right answer.
It was an interesting approach to play.
I could not fault it because I did not say in the rules you could not do that.
So here we go.
Does it make sense to everybody?
Got it.
Got it.
But we should just one guess.
No, guess all you want.
Oh, great.
I guess.
But wait until you hear the first three,
because the first three are pretty tough,
and we'll probably have to add more.
Yeah.
Brooks sounds like a man that's excited to fail.
Yeah.
I just like, give me a bunch of shots.
It's more fun.
Fire off.
One that matters.
Sucks.
Yeah.
I bought this hoodie here at South By
and it's got thumb holes in the sleeve
called like monkey paws
wouldn't that hoodie be perfect if you also had that on there
nah
wait a second you're not a girl
he's not doodling in his algebra notebook
right now that wouldn't make sense
I try to put my whole fist through the hole.
Just because I love fisting the night away.
Fisting.
Alright, here's your first three movies.
Who's in all these movies?
Who's in Crackers?
Judgment in Berlin?
I love how disappointed Hannibal was.
I don't know who's in a movie called Crackers.
Judgment in Berlin and Hugo Pool.
A movie called Hugo Pool.
I was really hoping you were going to be like, True Lies, Terminator, and Terminator 2.
I'd be like, I got that one.
I don't know these at all.
Who's that one?
Tom Arnold?
I'm Jamie Lee Curtis.
All right. I'm going to Lee. Curtis. All right.
I'm going to just...
Anybody have a guess?
Robert Redford.
That's a good guess, but no.
Okay.
Paul Newman.
No.
Marlon Brando.
No.
Steve McQueen.
Who hasn't had a guess yet?
I haven't.
I'm waiting for that fourth movie that's going to really send me over the top.
All right.
You have an inkling, but you're waiting to make sure.
I'm pretty sure.
I'm going to yell out Barbra Streisand
and see what happens here.
A young Sharon Stone.
Let me tell you right now.
Both Barbra Streisand and Sharon Stone are wrong.
All right.
Now here come more names.
Somebody's going to zero in on it. It's going to be great.
Before Night Falls.
The Weight
of Water.
I didn't know these were movies.
Yeah, that's
the interesting thing about it.
We're No Angels.
Sean Penn.
That's correct.
Sean Penn That's correct
I'm torrenting that tonight
His movies get less obscure pretty fast
Like U-Turn, Thin Red Line
I Am Sam
Racing with the Moon, Taps
And then I had The Gunman in there
Because that just opened this weekend
And it's
at 15% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Whoa.
So probably won't be seeing The Gunman
anytime soon. The first portal I ever saw
was Madonna's Body of Evidence,
and my friend had
the VHS, and over the top
of it, he taped with
scotch tape and notebook paper and just
wrote Taps.
So if his mom found it, it would
clearly just be the movie Taps.
Why would she ever even put that in?
Yeah, he's like, there's no way my mom's gonna watch
Taps tonight.
He's just a kid that doesn't know how to spell tits.
Yeah, yeah.
I just love a drama at a military
school.
Lots of young performers
who ended up,
I don't even know if,
it's just Tom Cruise and him
are the only famous people
from it.
I've never seen Taps.
I've seen Body of Evidence
a lot, though.
That's the one where
Willem Dafoe and Madonna
have the wax scene.
They pour wax on each other,
yeah.
And then I thought
that was like normal sex
to where I saw real porno
when I was like 12 and was like,
when are they going to get the wax out?
And my friends are like, you're fucking creepy, dude.
You're like 12 with the fetish already?
What is with all this wax-free porn?
They never use it in any of these things.
I was like, look, this is cool,
but I need skin to burn, baby.
You watched Nine and a Half Weeks
and wondered why all porns don't take place
right near the refrigerator.
I think so.
Was that the right title, Nine and a Half Weeks?
I don't know.
There was a movie about a dying child called Eight Weeks.
Yeah, don't confuse the two.
Deep pressing.
With Dudley Moore and Mary Tyler Moore.
Because they had to work together.
This is so fun.
They're both named Moore.
If Demi Moore had been a thing yet, she would have been in it for sure.
She would have been the dying kid.
What do you mean, oh?
The actress in the movie did not die to the best of my knowledge
and demi is still alive i'm pretty sure that'd be horrible joking around about demi more and she
she died while we were doing this podcast i'm saying it would be horrible
let's just move on you guys let's play last man stanton doing this podcast. I'm saying it would be horrible.
Let's just move on, you guys.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
This is a game where recently we played with the name Bruce Willis,
and you take turns, everybody on the panel
takes turns naming,
including me, I like to play,
naming movies that star Bruce Willis.
And we named a bunch of them, but
in a game called Last Man Stanton,
we failed, as several people have told me on Twitter,
to mention the movie he was in
called Last Man Standing.
It's always funny, the things we miss.
And it's going to happen again
today. And my friends
that brought the donuts
this is another consolation prize
I give to you. Have you
ever thought while listening to the show
of an actor or actress or director
with a large body of work
that we should use
but haven't?
They're conferring.
Daryl Hannah. Or if it's easier for you
I could ask an easier question like,
where's the weirdest place you ever made whoopie?
In the butt.
Fisting the night away.
Have you got one?
Doesn't seem confident.
Warwick Davis.
No, not that one. Did two of you
are stumped?
Oh, the guy next to you
suggested something because he never stops
talking.
He gets the Pete Holmes
award. The guy not even in the show does.
But that's
a good suggestion. I don't know if we've done it
before, but I never remember anyway, so it doesn't matter.
Let's do John Travolta, you guys.
The films of John Francis Travolta, starting with Matt, who won the last game, right?
Yes.
Okay.
How about Hello to an Austin?
We'll start with Michael, the movie Michael that was filmed here with John Travolta
in 1996.
Okay.
I don't know if that's true, but it made me feel
pretty good, like I knew what I was talking about.
Does not help you in all of this game to suck up to the crowd,
but that's cool.
Brooks, name any Travolta movie.
If I was trying to say, I would just be like,
never mind. I was going to say Dazed and Confused,
but then Boyhood, Anybody would just be like, never mind. I was going to say dazed and confused, right? But then, boy, hurt anybody?
Just fucking keep going.
Face off.
Oh!
I hope you only know that movie.
I really hope so.
What do you got, Hannibal?
Besides Face Off.
You got another one.
It's Travolta.
Huh?
Yeah, Travolta.
Do the sequel.
The sequel to Face Off.
Face On?
Oh, wait.
I just talked into my beer can.
Olsen's Eleven.
Oh, my God.
The only guy not in it.
He's like the only guy not in that movie.
That was so good.
That was so good.
Oh, my God.
That was so good. Oh my God. That was so good.
You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to let you think about it for a while.
And when we come back around to you,
if you have one, you can stay in.
But only if you have one by the time we get back to you.
I'm going to say...
I, like, thought
I didn't know a lot about
movies. You don't know
another Travolta film?
I got one.
This movie was the opposite of one.
Phenomenon.
Although, I think it did pretty well at the box office.
He was on a streak around that time, I think.
It was right after Michael, maybe.
What was the difference between Michael and Phenomenon?
I'll tell you.
In Phenomenon, you never saw him with wings.
John?
I'm trying to remember the title of this one.
Oh, I can't believe that you're struggling.
It was in the late 70s.
He was trying not to die.
I hope you're not going to say a TV movie.
It didn't happen on Friday.
It didn't happen on Sunday.
Wait, he was trying to find a cure so that
he wouldn't die?
That might have been part of the movie. Of what disease?
Disco fever?
Don't fuck around.
I could take that as your final answer. Saturday Night Fever.
Alright.
Matt,
no joke answers.
Be serious.
Staying alive.
Yeah.
Might as well take care of those two right away.
Do you want to go ahead and finish off the trilogy, Brooks?
Oh, I don't know that.
I'll go with Look Who's Talking.
Okay.
Now, we've given Hannibal a lot to think about.
We've covered different parts of his career.
Do you have another one?
I'll go with...
Grace.
Yes! Yes!
I will say,
oh, it's so tempting to just run the
look who's talking board.
I hope you don't. That's where I come.
But instead, I'm going to go with
how about
Hairspray?
How about Hairspray?
I'm going to try to knock some of the obvious ones out of the way,
like Pulp Fiction.
That was mean to do.
I believe the sequel was Look Who's Talking Also?
To Pulp Fiction? No.
I think you're way off on that one, man. What was it called? Look Who's Talking Also? To Pulp Fiction? No.
I think you're way off on that one, man.
What was it called?
Look Who's Talking To.
T-O-O.
See her out, man.
I should have said as well.
Look Who's Talking Now.
That's the third one.
Because now the dogs is talking.
Hannibal.
Look who's talking in the hood.
Look who's talking in space.
In space no one can hear you talk. Look who's talking versus Predator.
You know what?
I think Look Who's Talking would win
in a battle between that and Predator.
Hey, come on, man. I can't see you right now.
I like that Look Who's Talking movie.
It was Travolta's second comeback.
Hey, uh, was he
in Kill Bill?
All right, you're out again, but I'll let you back in if you can think of one when we get back to you.
Oh, man.
You're like good cuts.
You're taking good cuts.
Like a 50% chance he is in these films. Yeah, there's a chance. You're taking good cuts. Like a 50% chance
he is in these films.
You're not saying some dumb answer.
You're like, a lot of people were in this one.
Oh, wait, no. Django.
Another great swing.
Let me help you out.
They never reunited.
They never worked together again.
Oh, man. Whatever, man.
I don't care.
But
he did go on to make a lot of big movies
because Pulp Fiction got him back on the map.
So I'm going to go with
Broken Arrow.
I think another one that he
had right in the wake of Pulp Fiction was Get Shorty.
Of course Get Shorty.
Brooks?
I don't fuck.
This is tough.
You don't?
Awkward sentence structure.
You just pour wax on people.
I can't think of anything. You just pour wax on people. I, uh... What was it?
I can't think of anything.
I bet you Hannibal's got one.
I want Hannibal's nine lives you've given him.
I don't know at all.
Death to Smoochie?
That's not... He's not in that.
All right, you're out.
Hannibal?
Reservoir Dogs.
He wasn't in that.
Now you're really out.
You're double out.
You're double out.
I was being genuine, man.
All right.
So it's me and John.
We're going to battle it out.
All right.
A civil action.
I'm glad you said that.
Oh, I meant to take one that you knew.
That was not one of them.
Speaking of battles, how about Battlefield Earth?
I hate to do this to you,
because it was already mentioned,
but never officially guessed.
Look who's talking, too.
T-O-O.
Yeah, I'll play Ruthless.
And Hannibal, he's not in Ruthless
People.
Okay.
Do TV movies count?
No. Boy in the Plastic Bubble is
a no-win situation.
Fuck.
That's cruel.
Fuck.
Well, the Welcome Back, Cotter movie went to theaters, didn't it?
Fuck.
Nothing?
He was like an old theater guy in one movie.
Oh.
Like it was The Dresser, but with John Travolta.
Like it was Southern, and it was called...
It was definitely called The Southern Dresser.
No.
I know that for a fact. You don't have to check. Let's keep moving.
For the win, I'll say...
Be Cool.
That's a good one.
That's not a movie.
No, I'm just telling you, be cool, man.
Oh, fuck. I win.
I win. Be cool.
Sorry, man.
It's my show. I win.
Travolta has like Lego hair now.
It's just like he just slams a wig on and leaves.
It's very weird. He slams a wig on and leaves. Like, it's very weird.
He slams a wig on and just goes out and touches women.
Look at how heterosexual I am.
No way I'm gay.
I will touch all of his women parts.
Oh, my wife?
Okay.
My wife.
All right, you guys, let's play the Letter Mom game.
We're tied on time, so we're going to play one round
to determine...
You'll play one round, and who won that game?
Oh, John won. John came in second place,
which is first place in this world.
Nice. Yeah, because I can't is first place in this world. Nice.
Yeah, because I can't go first in the Leonard Mullen game.
I would kick your asses because I'd be looking right at it.
John gets to pick the first category, and then we'll go to Matt and then Brooks and then to Hannibal.
Do you remember how this game works, Hannibal?
Absolutely not.
It's been a while, but I'm excited.
I remember liking this game.
Yeah, it's fun. You did pretty good at it.
You were on the show at the Gramercy Theater in New York.
Next one I'm doing there is April 26, I think.
Seamless plug.
Especially when you go, I think, after the end of it that really sells it hard
It's late April and I think we'll add one
if it sells out so let's do this
John gets to pick a category
Would you like
Liar Liar
which of course is the films of
Bill O'Reilly
movies that Bill O'Reilly's in
I'm giving it to that guy
we have a lot of badge holders
but this category is called Vag holders
and it's movies directed by a woman.
Very classy.
Yeah.
I just want to point out that women are directing films.
There's not enough of them,
and they deserve to have more opportunities.
Yeah.
That's what I got out of it.
The way I point that out to everybody
is by creating a crass title.
Yeah.
A crass pun. Vag holders.
And then your third option
is Keep It Austin.
Oh.
We're in Austin, Texas, y'all.
So that's films with weird,
bat, or traffic
in the title.
So which one of those
do you like? Obviously there's an audience favorite,
but you might want to go a different
way strategically.
Right. Because I know
all about the Vag.
We're just playing
one round today, so it's
crucial that you don't make a
mistake.
Much as I respect the category
and the title of the category
of Vag Holders
Was it Vag Holders?
Holding the Vag?
I'm going to go with the Austin category.
All right.
A good call.
A good one.
Batman.
Now I want you to know
just to free your minds,
it's weird, bat, or traffic,
but as a for instance,
bat could be part of the word battle.
Well, now you're an asshole.
Of which there have been maybe 50 movies made
with the word battle in the title.
No pre-guessing.
The Dark Knight Battles.
I'm done, sorry.
Three stars from Leonard John for this movie from 1988.
He says this movie is about an Air Force colonel.
He calls it taught and compelling
and says it's based on a true story.
And he lists seven names.
How many names can you name this movie in?
John, Master Pancake-u,
Erler.
I'm going to say six names
He chopped one name off, Matt
He's very confident
I know that
John is very good with movies
I want to follow his lead
I like what he's done with chopping a name off
I'm going to say five
We're doing one round, right?
Five names
Confident five I'll do four I'm going to say five. We're doing one round, right? Five. I'm going to say I'm at five.
Five names. The bidding is crucial.
Confident.
Okay, I'll do four.
That just seems to be the way we're going.
I like where this is going.
He says four names, Hannibal.
This is reading from the bottom of the cast list up.
It's a Tarantino movie, Hannibal.
The movie...
The movie has weird...
bat... or traffic
in the title
and uh
Brooks Whelan just bid four names
so you gotta go lower
or ask him to name it
and if he fails to name it then you'll be our winner
yeah
oh that's an interesting choice.
And so he gets four, or I have to go lower, or just call it?
Ask him to name it, yeah.
If you don't think you can get it in three or two or one or even zero negative names,
shit's crazy.
He's good, too, huh?
Who's good? huh who's good you know what
name it
I'll be honest
I only bid three
because I was like
I want it to make
these guys name it
but then I was like
but then I'm gonna keep
Hannibal from doing a thing
and I feel like
people want to hear you talk
and that'd be a dick move so I was like alright three so I'm going to keep Hannibal from doing a thing. And I feel like people want to hear you talk and that'd be a dick move.
So I was like, all right, three.
So I was being fucking nice.
All right, here we go.
Hey, just a yes and.
I thought you said four.
Did I say four?
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
I think he said one.
Well, I'm not going to get it.
I mean, let's just do it, right?
Yeah, you're not going to get it.
Yeah.
No, I'm very excited about how this played
out because everybody got to be involved you all got to play that's what i wanted everybody to be
involved i just definitely don't know this yeah yeah i don't but maybe these three names will
help you i don't think they will yeah but uh i'll give you the clues again you know it's got weird
bat or traffic in the title it's clearly battle battle is in this it's got Weird, Bat, or Traffic in the title. It's clearly Battle. Battle is in this. It's about
a general... I just brought that up
just to point out that it's... I got
really distracted and just thought it had the word Battle
in it.
No, this movie could be called
Bats in Traffic.
Or Weird Bats.
I want the record to show
that I got confused about how the game goes,
and I thought John was the one that had the name.
Are you out to get me?
No, I just thought because you were over there that you had to do it.
What would you have done differently if you had known that it wasn't me?
I would have did the same thing, but I just let you know I thought it was you.
The person against you is just my misunderstanding of the rules
in the Florida game
alright you're on the record
thank you
everyone's laughing because I just pretended
to write it down
you're on the record
we're recording this
your four names
in this movie that
is about an Air Force colonel
and it's taut and compelling and based
on a true story. Your four names are
Joe Dorsey, Eric
Anderson.
Eric spelled with an H. You know that spelling?
Oh, different. Yeah, okay.
I was mixing those guys up.
Eric.
Clayton Roaner, the great Clayton Roaner.
And I'll give you three names
for this last name.
David Marshall Grant.
I don't know.
I'm just going to guess.
I'm not going to waste any time.
The Battle of Midway.
That's a fantastic guess.
Hannibal is very excited about it.
But this was a tough one for sure.
The remaining names are
Jerry Reed, Danny Glover,
and Gene Hackman. Yeah Yeah and it's a motion picture
From 1988 called Bat 21
What?
Bat 21
Sometimes you get a tough one
But Hannibal is our winner everybody
Very exciting
Come on down here, Nathan.
Got music and get your prize bag.
Congratulations, dude.
Oh, take red.
Don't forget red.
Don't forget what?
Red.
Oh, yeah.
Put that in there.
Oh, shit.
Half wrapped.
Signed it properly.
So you got a signed cellophane wrapper and a signed DVD.
And here you go.
Yeah, sure. You can come up on stage.
I'm scared a little bit.
Okay, that's enough.
It's very muscular.
Give him his tag back.
Here you go, man.
I'm scared.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to throw that odd job to Stalin.
Chop his head off.
Oh, wait, here.
You're sitting next to this person, too.
Here, take this guy.
No, no, no.
We need that for the shithead.
And you got a shithead on the back of your...
I do have one.
I do have one.
I was hiding it. Yeah, here we go. Pass that to me. It's very good. John Earler, And you got a shithead on the back of your... I do have one. I do have one. I was hiding it.
Yeah, here we go.
Pass that to me.
It's very good.
John Earler, what you got coming up, man?
You got some Master Pancake shows coming up, I'm sure.
Master Pancake.
We are doing Forrest Gump next weekend.
It's a classic.
It's very funny.
Yeah, gump it up.
Then we're going to do Michael Bay's Transformers after that.
Oh.
For a couple weekends.
And then if it's still on, then on May 29th, you and the gang are going to do Sleepaway Camp Parts 2 and 3.
Yes.
I don't know.
It's not on sale yet, is it?
What?
It's not on sale yet?
No, it's two weeks before, and this is May 29th.
So look out for that. May 29th, we're going to do
Sleepaway 2, Camp 2, and
Sleepaway Camp 3, because the one
we did of Sleepaway Camp was so much fun.
I want to continue
the series. And thank you
for being here. Matt Bearden, what's going on,
man? I will
be here back on this stage, I think,
even, for the Moon Tower Comedy
and Oddity Festival
plus fireworks and shotguns.
If you live in town, come by and say hey
and that good stuff.
Very cool.
What about you, Brooks Whelan?
You got a show tonight.
Show tonight at Coffee Shop.
Hannibal won't be there, I guess.
Thanks, man.
Just be fun to have a buddy to walk
with, is all I'm saying.
I'll walk you there.
I just have an
album out that came out a few months ago.
Listen to that. I think it's good.
What's it called?
This is Cool, right? The sequel to be cool yeah and uh hannibal what you got going
on just on the road man i got my tour dates at hannibalburris.com slash calendar and i have a tv
show coming out on comedy central in july yeah. Wait, I have a question for Hannibal.
So your tour is called the Camisado tour?
The Comedy Camisado tour.
What the fuck does that mean?
Camisado means a military sneak attack
that occurs at night.
Oh, all right.
Yeah.
Classic comedy.
I snuck up and won this
even though I had no movie knowledge.
It feels like a dirty win, honestly.
You totally camisadoed this show today.
It feels dirty.
I don't know anything about movies.
These dudes know stuff about movies,
and so it felt weird.
You're the winner.
I didn't even know a John Travolta movie
besides Face Off, man.
Brooke took that away from me,
but it was fun.
Anybody can win here on Doug Loves Movies.
I think Tig Notaro won once.
Yeah.
And she doesn't go to movies at all.
At least you like a good movie every once in a while.
Yeah, man, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely awesome panel.
Can you guys come back for, when am I going to be back here?
May 30th at Cap City.
John, are you in?
I'm in. Matt, are you in? I'm in.
Matt, are you in?
Oh, yeah, if you really ask me.
Brooks and Hannibal, you going to fly down for that?
Absolutely, yeah.
Okay, they're all in.
Private.
They're all in, so get your tickets.
Thanks again for being here.
John Erler, Matt Barrett, and Brooks Whelan and Hannibal Buress.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you very much.
Matt Bearden, Brooks Wheeling, and Hannibal Buress.
Thank you guys. Thank you very much.
And as always, Fox News is a shithead.
This one I don't even understand because you're here waiting in the rain for four hours and still not getting in is a shithead.
But you got in.
Oh, last night.
It's not my show.
Some other thing.
Okay.
Well, that's a shithead.
I agree.
This shithead's really good.
I like this coming up. You really are into this one?
I was really into it, yeah.
Do you want to say it?
Really?
Yeah.
I totally let you say it.
Thanks.
Just because I've kind of been trolling him on Twitter for five years.
As soon as you say it,
then the end theme song is going to come in.
He's a horrible human being.
Ted Cruz running NASA is a shithead.