Doug Loves Movies - Har Mar Superstar, Abe Vanderbent, Graham Elwood and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: June 21, 2015Live from the Woman's Club of Minneapolis, Doug welcomes Har Mar Superstar, Abe Vanderbent, Graham Elwood and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Ca...lifornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, crazy babies, sticky seeds
With 50 as in 5 more kernels in his teeth
There's still not more that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name's Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
Coming to you once again from the Women's Club of Minneapolis.
So when you bought tickets, did you pick your seats?
Did you know which seat you're going to have?
So somebody bought front row tickets and then didn't show up?
And second row and third row and pretty much every row that I can see has a couple of empty seats in it?
Is it hard to get here tonight because of traffic or something?
Oh, that's too bad.
Because when they come in, I'm going to shame the shit out of them.
Where the fuck have you been?
And you don't have a name tag
and it doesn't have a shithead on the back.
Yeah, my name tag that I don't have a name tag. And it doesn't have a shithead on the back. Yeah, my name tag that I don't have
doesn't have a shithead on the back.
Hey guys, welcome.
Nice to see you.
There's a lot of people in the balcony
who wish they were where you're at
and they got here on time.
They were where you're at, and they got here on time.
It's Friday, June 19th, 2015.
Let me see your name tags, mini app.
This guy tweeted today that he thought his Ben-her name tag was too big.
And you know what?
They're never too big, sir. And what does that
mean? Your name is Ben?
Ben
Her. Makes perfect sense.
The house lights aren't
up so I can't really see past that
Ben Her sign.
There's a blinking
one that I recognized from last
night. I would say you're
ineligible but it'll be interesting to see if
any of the guests pick it.
And thank you to everybody
for bringing your name tags,
and good luck. Good luck to
all of you.
Portland, Oregon. Douglas Movies returns to
Helium. It's a gas this Sunday,
June 21st at 420.
Celebrate Father's Day with
movie talk and trivia
Douglas Movies is coming
to Tempe, Arizona, San Diego
Pittsburgh, Montreal, Traverse City
Michigan, New York City, London
Kansas City, Missouri
Dallas, Madison, Wisconsin
Los Angeles, Orlando, Florida, Boston
Toronto
most of these will be listed right now at douglasmovies.com
or soon
time for tweet relief
tweets about movies
AK Megalow
tweeted the theory of
everything is definitely the weirdest
of the Austin Powers movies
laughter
this has been tweetweet Relief Mistaken Identity Edition. Speaking of Twitter, lots
of people have been tweeting at me about doing a tagline game since that whole E.T. in his
adventure on Earth argument has been going on. And at first I resisted it, but I've decided
to give in. And tonight I'm going to introduce a new game. But first, but first let's gaze
into the prize bag. We've got for the last time, I think my, my penultimate, I guess
I'm not going to stop making albums, but the second to last one
that I've made so far, plus the new one, Promotional Tool, they're both in the bag.
Then we've got a scarf from my friends at Hitman Glass, a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt
in one specific size. Apologies if you're not that size and you win. A SeaWorld Kill shirt that PETA sent me.
They sent me a large, and I'm more of an XL,
so it'd be weird enough wearing a SeaWorld Kill shirt,
but also a really tight one.
Wouldn't be strange.
would be strange.
A nice hat that says
Slab Life on it
that I got somewhere along the way.
And it's all
in a really nice
backpack that they gave me when I
performed at the Sasquatch Music Festival.
It's even got
a flashlight attached to it
that you'll have to put a battery into.
So good luck with that.
Let's get my guests out here.
Please give a big, warm Women's Club welcome
to Abe Vanderbilt, Graham Elwood,
Jeff Tate, and Harmar Superstar.
Take control,
women's club.
Take control
of your twin cities.
Take control
of your balconies.
Sit up.
Take control
of Jeff Tate's beard.
Jeff Tate's beard
is under control, Graham. I saw Jeff Tate's beard at Bonnarate's beard is under control, Graham.
I saw Jeff Tate's beard at Bonnaroo.
They were fucking amazing.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, we headlined.
Jeff, you're in a band called Jeff Tate's beard?
No, they just saw the beard on Twitter and were like, you gotta fucking come here.
Right? Last year we had
Jack Johnson do the 8 o'clock spot and everyone
fell asleep. Will you bring your beard
to the stage?
Probably to nobody's surprise,
Graham Elwood wins the Pete Holmes Award.
It's Graham Elwood, everybody!
Periscope!
Shut that down.
Shut it down.
Shut it down.
This is for the people that are here.
Yeah.
Not those fucking periscopers.
Dirty periscopers.
Graham?
Yes.
You're in town doing some shows?
Yeah, I'm actually headlining tonight and two shows tomorrow at the Comedy
Corner Underground with Andy Erickson.
Very funny show. 8 and 10 tomorrow.
Young local people.
Check
that out. And what'd you bring for the prize bag?
I gave you a copy
of the Comedy Film Nerd Guide
to Movies. It's in there, you guys.
That has a foreword by Doug Benson
and is available at ComedyFilmers.com. If you
win it, come to the show tomorrow night and I'll
sign it. Aw, shit. Multi-platform
cross-promotion.
MPCP.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was good.
Also joining us tonight, this is very exciting
to me because
last November on Jimmy Pardo's podcast-a-thon,
we put up for auction a seat on this show,
and the gentleman who was the highest bidder
is sitting next to Graham Elwood right now.
His name is Abe Vanderbent.
Let's hear it for Abe.
Hello, Women's Club.
I thought that was my intro.
I'm sorry.
$3,000 was the amount of money
that he spent to have this experience.
Oh, get ready.
It's going to be worth every dime.
Do you have any regrets about that?
Not yet.
Okay.
Oh, you will, motherfucker.
No.
Yeah, spend $3,000 to have someone loudly whistle in your ear.
But what do you do for a living?
What compelled you to jump up here with us?
I do software development by day, and then I do improv and sketch around town in Minneapolis at night.
That's awesome.
And do, is it just me, or do your glasses match your shirt?
They do.
Do you have multiple glasses and shirts?
Nope, just a coincidence.
Okay.
On other days, you're all mismatched.
Correct.
Or blind.
You just walk around without your...
He just has seven of that shirt.
Graham, live in the moment.
Stop taking pictures and periscoping.
Be in this show right now.
I'm here, Doug. I'm present.
Plus, Graham is on a tight schedule tonight to get over to his other
show, so at one point, he's
going to have to call the Uber car
while we're still doing
what will probably be the Leonard
Malton game. So that's going to be exciting.
And Abe, what did you bring for the prize bag,
buddy? I brought a couple of things. First
off is a
book of Disney's Frozen with a magical
wand with more than 20 songs
included.
And then a $50 iTunes
gift card. Well, that's extremely
generous. Jesus.
First you're
helping the kids at Smile Train, now you're
giving these people music and
you're amazing. Yeah, that's really
wonderful stuff. Yeah, that's really wonderful stuff.
So, um...
Our friend that the listeners first met
on this show in New York City,
Harmar Superstar, is here.
Yeah.
Keep it coming. Keep it coming.
Keep it coming.
Thanks, guys.
Local phenom,
right?
Yeah, I guess.
You're from these parts.
Yeah.
We won't say which part
exactly because I hear
there's a fierce rivalry.
Oh, you know,
between the towns,
the twins.
The twin cities,
they don't finish
each other's sentences at all.
I came up with that one last night.
I was pretty proud of myself.
And what, you're just in town hanging out, visiting family and shit?
Yeah, I was recording earlier today with a band called Gay Witch Abortion.
So I was doing that.
GWA.
Yeah, man.
So yeah, that.
Just hanging around.
Father's Day stuff.
I'm going to see my dad and hang out.
And I appreciate you wearing your Spicoli shoes to the show.
Exactly.
The Fast Times tennis shoes.
Just in character.
Thanks for that.
Yeah, no sweat.
And you brought something small but potent for the prize bag.
Oh, yeah.
I brought a gift certificate to the Lagoon Cinema.
And also, you can get a pipe at the Hideaway.
I've got two gift cards here for you.
Yeah, Hideaway is a local head shop.
Yeah, it's in a part of town I hate saying.
Dinky Town.
Dinky Town. Dinky Town.
I got fucked up in Dinky Town.
I found out I had cancer
in Dinky Town.
And Jeff Tate is here, everybody.
Jazzy Jeff Hello everybody
What do you got for the bag man?
I got all kinds of shit
Bag man
So there's this podcast that Tom Segura does
And I get called hot dogs and Gatorade on that podcast
And I have a t-shirt
She brought a hot dogs and Gatorade shirt Fun to wear And I have a t-shirt now. She brought a Hot Dogs and Gatorade shirt.
Fun to wear because you have to explain it to people
all day long.
No, no, once you wear it,
once you put it on, it's just like a cool
meal idea.
So for a foodie, that's going to be perfect.
Yeah, Graham.
And this one's denim on denim
because that's a good way to dress.
Right?
My shirts have advice on them.
Like this one, the one I'm wearing.
Oh, you brought a ton of shirts.
No, only those two.
Oh.
But the one I'm wearing.
What else then?
I got some CDs.
I got my first one.
I got potential.
We're really going to just toss each thing individually?
Why don't you say what they are and pass it all down?
I'll take that bag, too, because all this stuff's not going to fit in the bag I brought.
And I got my second CD, Just Another Clown, and I brought the first Eels album, Beautiful Freak.
Oh, I love the Eels.
Fucking rad.
That album is fucking awesome.
And it's valued at $4.98.
Yeah, there it is.
No, no, no, no. That's
in American money. And as far
as what it'll do for your brain and
soul, it's like $8.
And where can people
buy these shirts, right?
ZipzooApparel.com Zipzoo, yeah, ZipZooApparel.com.
ZipZoo.
Yeah, yeah, ZipZoo Apparel.
It's a guy in Cincinnati that owns his own thing.
And he makes, he made those shirts for me.
And I was like, will you tell people about my website?
And I just did.
Right?
He makes this shirt, DeSincereDeath.
And honestly, like, this isn't, I don't know if this is a good thing to say out loud,
but like 25% of it
goes to a domestic violence shelter.
Oh, yeah, what a horrible thing to say
out loud. Keep that a
fucking secret. The less you sell, the
less it'll help. It's bad
enough we got this asshole on the thing
helping out kids. Now you gotta fucking...
You make it sound like it's pro
domestic violence.
A shelter where that happens
Right, well
Do not stay there unless you want to get beat
Yeah
I'm so sorry
They got really good kickboxing classes there though
It's awesome
You can laugh, it's okay folks
You guys are making
I like how your riff ends with you
Qualifying your riff
Like you can't just riff a thing
And then be like that's the thing
You're doing what I'm doing right now usually
I do want to apologize
For that one I went too far
Yeah I just don't like
As do a lot of men and that's why they need to be stopped
I don't know it felt very
Like it feels self-serving to say that but I don't want it to
sound so you gotta throw that in there because it's it'll help sell shirts and also it's a good
cause yeah it's a good cause actually I should have said those in the other order yeah yeah
well right it's a good buy a shirt then you have a shirt and then also it helps people
I don't know I feel like I feel like if they beat cancer it'll be luck but if uh like domestic violence you could just like 50 bucks to fucking help somebody
tonight you know what i mean yeah okay
i think there's a lot of good causes out there uh graham
uh yeah you want me to just throw down some causes uh
no what about uh movies let's talk movies have you uh been to just throw down some causes?
No, what about movies? Let's talk movies Have you been to the cinema lately?
Have you seen any of these?
I saw Jurassic World and IMAX 3D
What's that like?
Nobody's gone so far
Everybody's curious
I gotta tell you, I've never been a huge 3D guy
I'm always like, oh, it's bullshit
But the new IMAX 3D, I saw it
The first half of the movie is just all like Spielberg. I'm always like, oh, it's bullshit. But the new IMAX 3D, I saw it.
And the first half of the movie is just all like Spielberg.
And it's just like, oh, there's cliche.
And well, that guy's going to die.
You know, like the fat guy bumbling around.
He's dead.
Like they should put him in a red Star Trek shirt.
He's fucking gone.
But then who cares about any of the cliche of the science?
Just the second half of the movie is just fucking dinosaurs attacking you through windows and 3d.
It's awesome.
They just go, ah, they just hunk.
And it's just, it's awesome.
There's 45 minutes of nonstop.
It's, it's, it's the purge.
It's the purge of dinosaur Island.
It's fucking great.
All right. Well, maybe I'll try the 3D
I saw it flat
And I thought it was okay
I wasn't that excited about it
I was more into that part
You were talking
You know, that stuff you were talking about earlier
About what a bunch of cliche bullshit happens in that movie
If you
If you
If you go in expecting anything other than that
You're gonna be just highly disappointed If you go in just like It's gonna, you're going to be just highly disappointed.
If you go in just like, it's going to be dumb,
there's going to be cute kid cliche nonsense
and all this backstories, it's like, who gives a shit?
Honestly, it's like if you were on a roller coaster,
and you know the slow part, they go through,
and there's some dumb story, and it's like,
well, I hope that asteroid field doesn't hit us.
Like, if you're riding in the ride, you're like, oh, excuse me, there's some plot holes.
No, just fucking go down the thing.
You sound like, you know that I have turned that entire speech, the last six minutes of your speech, into the sentence, he rides a horse onto a train.
And you don't like the Lone Ranger, but you have this whole thing, like, fucking, the backstory sucks, but he rides a horse onto a train.
The Lone Ranger is offensive to the human race.
Yeah, dinosaurs can't be insulted by how they're portrayed.
Yeah. Johnny Depp hasn't played a dinosaur yet. Yeah, dinosaurs can't be insulted by how they're portrayed Yeah
Johnny Depp hasn't played a dinosaur yet
Although Mordecai should be extinct
What about you, Abe? Have you been to the movies?
I saw Inside Out earlier today
Today?
What?
Nice, you did your homework
I did
And did you like it?
It's very good.
Be prepared to be very sad.
Oh, no.
Did they bring back the old couple from Up and kill her again?
Ha, ha, ha.
Seriously, buy Jeff Tate's T-shirt, you guys.
What if you're already sad?
Then the movie will tell you that that's okay.
Yeah, emotions are all right.
I like the sound of this movie.
Yeah.
I'm going to see it as soon as they have a screening where children aren't allowed.
Were there kids when you saw it?
Far too many.
And were they wrapped with attention the entire time,
or were they noisy?
They were fine for most of the time,
except for one part, which I'm not going to explain
because it's a spoiler.
Gives away too much.
But they get bored during that part?
No, they all got confused at once.
Oh.
That's what I,
I can't stand the questions.
I can't stand
when I'm sitting near a kid
and they keep asking
their parent questions,
you know,
because either the parent
has dumb answers
or it just goes,
shh.
And either way,
I'm like,
what kind of fucking parent?
When I was little,
little, little,
they used to have
a room in the back
of movie theaters that was glass and women and men could go back there and smoke cigarettes while still watching the movie.
And it was also a place to bring your fucking crying babies.
So there's just this fucking hot box of cancer in the back of the kiddie matinee.
It was the weirdest thing.
It sounds like the Atlanta airport to me.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
The Terminal A bar.
There's just those glass boxes
where you just go in to die.
Yeah, fuck.
You don't even have to bring in your own cigarettes.
Just get inside and start breathing.
Jeff, what about you?
What's your latest movie watching experience? You don't have to bring in your own cigarettes. Just get inside and start breathing. Jeff, what about you?
What's your latest movie watching experience?
Spy.
Spy is great.
I love that movie.
Apparently it's not a big hit in this room, though.
Why would women like it?
We're at the women's club.
Let's talk about some women's films.
Yeah, Spy is about... Oh, yeah, right.
Spy.
That movie about a woman.
There you go.
Finally.
That movie is fucking...
A woman who could do anything that she puts her mind to.
It's awesome.
Yeah, it's really good.
It's fucking hilarious.
Jason Statham is hilarious.
There's no plot holes,
so Graham will be able to pay attention the whole time.
Doesn't she wreck her motorcycle
when she hits a plot hole?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Doug Benson, ladies and gentlemen.
Harmar.
What about you?
I just came here from seeing The Wolf Pack.
Really?
Yeah.
That's an interesting documentary about this.
Is it a family?
Yeah, it's a family.
It's like a family of nine that's been living in an apartment their entire lives in Lower East Side,
and they never leave.
But they love movies.
They love movies, and they recreate Reservoir Dogs and tons of crazy films.
It's a really moving, amazing documentary.
And you saw that at the theater where you got the gift certificate?
Yeah.
You're one stop shopping. I like it.
Well, I got the
hideaway gift card when I was buying a pipe
earlier, too, so it all just came together.
If they
never leave their apartment,
how did someone know to make a movie about them?
I don't want to go too far into it, but they started surfacing a little bit when they got older.
And a friend of mine actually directed it.
And she met them out in the Lower East Side and found them really interesting.
Because they'd always travel in a pack.
The five of them would just be dressed up in their shades in their shades with, like, four-foot ponytails.
And she was like, who the fuck are these guys?
You know?
The wolf pack.
The wolf pack.
Definitely see this.
It's so good.
Check that out, you guys.
It's really good.
Yeah, I've heard really good things about it.
It's nice to have corroboration.
I saw a movie on TV today in my room.
Paid 16 bucks for it.
Yeah, if I wasn't as flush with cash as I am,
I would be pretty upset.
Probably wouldn't have made the purchase in the first place
if I couldn't afford it,
but I saw True Story with James Franco and Jonah Hill.
I forgot about that one.
Yeah, and they should just call it Love Story
because the way those two guys look at each other
for the entire movie,
it's not bad.
The ending's kind of cool,
but it was all right.
That's all I have to say on that.
I talked about it on Doug Loves Minis today.
This is the part of the show
where I say let the games go.
This is the part of the show where I say,
Let the games go.
What a lovely, lovely voice.
What else? What?
What did I say?
I just said, what a lovely, lovely voice.
People tell me that when you and I are both doing Bane,
they don't know which one is doing what. It just sounds like one guy just rambling on and on. There is.
There is only one guy, and his name is goddamn
Bane. That's who's talking. He talks through
both of us like he
channels us.
Lots of people brought name tags, you guys,
and they're going to have a tough time picking
who you're going to play for.
Good luck to everybody.
Gentlemen, pick your name tags.
And while you do that,
we're going to do a quick commercial break. We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
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Now back to it.
We're back. What do you have in your hand there, Graham?
I have a box of glutinos, which is nobody else applauded, but they are some of my favorite
gluten-free wafers that you can get. These are vanilla, ladies and gentlemen, milk chocolate
covered vanilla wafers.
Can I try one?
Yeah.
Every time I eat anything that's gluten-free, it tastes exactly like it's got gluten in it.
That's the beauty.
Yeah, right?
So couldn't they just lie and shove some gluten in there?
Well, these are gluten-free people.
This is an honorable...
Honorable trade?
Yeah, this is an honorable trade.
Who are you playing for, Harmar?
Well, Graham is playing with that.
I'm playing for Juwanamanda.
And it's really nice basketball here with Juwanamanda on it
and a picture of Doug smoking a 3D joint coming out the side.
Yeah, you can't really play with that basketball.
You want to try a gluten-free?
Yeah, I'm going for it. Glutino? Yeah, can you hold that? Yeah, I can't really play with that basketball. You want to try a gluten-free... Yeah, I'm going for it.
Glutino?
Yeah, can you hold that?
Yeah, I'll hold it.
Here, I'll take your basketball.
Thanks.
What's the name of the person again?
Juwanamanda.
Amanda, okay.
Or just Manda.
I think Juwanna. Amanda. Good one, Amanda. Or just Manda. I think do you want Amanda?
Good one, Manda.
Who are you playing for, Jeff?
Big Tyler and Little China.
Oh, you love that movie.
I love this movie a lot.
I'm very excited about the remake because The Rock is going to be in it.
And I love The Rock.
Oh, he's the best.
He's one of my favorite actors.
He's really good. That's an interesting sentence. I love The Rock. Oh, he's the best? He's one of my favorite actors. He's really good.
That's an interesting sentence.
I love The Rock.
It reminds me of the time in Night Shift when that one character said,
Barney Ropal is my favorite actor.
Who are you playing for, Abe?
I am playing for Inter Scheller, who's this nice poster with Doug's face on an astronaut.
Oh, that's adorable.
Just an astronaut?
What's the person's name?
Shell.
Shell.
All right.
Good job, Shell.
And Graham?
Oh, my God.
I've got a bucket full of treats.
There's Cheetos.
There's Reese's Minis.
There's those awesome hot buffalo wing pretzels.
Those are all gluten-free, right?
Sure.
Why did you pick a bucket of garbage like that?
I'm fucking starving.
I literally flew in.
My flight was late.
I, like, I'm so hungry, and then I got to go do a gig right after this.
I don't know if I have time to eat, so this is what's going to go down.
Cheetos
for dinner. Cheetos for dinner
and wash it down with some glutinos
in a bucket.
And her name is Carrie
and she just took the Carrie poster,
the Sissy Spacek, and then just put a Doug Loves Movies
logo on it. Way to fucking
rebrand that shit, fucking.
Boom.
Good job, Carrie, but that bucket of blood is a nice touch. It is. Very classy. Good job, Carrie.
That bucket of blood is a nice touch.
It is. Very classy.
A bucket of junk. Very thought out.
They just dump a bunch of junk food on Carrie's head
in the gluten-free version of Carrie.
Let's start it off
with a little game called
How Much Did This Shit Make?
Ooh.
Ooh.
We did a Benson movie interruption of Kenneth Branagh's Cinderella with a little game called How Much Did This Shit Make? Ooh. Yeah. Ooh.
We did a Benson movie interruption of Kenneth Branagh's Cinderella
at Cinefamily in L.A.
a couple nights ago,
and I was shocked
when co-interrupter Ben Schwartz
looked up how much money
that movie made.
It was out a couple months ago.
It came out in March, I think.
Cate Blanchett as the evil whatever.
And let's just go down the line and you guys guess, without going over, how much you think
it made in its domestic box office run, the 2015 Cinderella. Let's start with you, Graham.
Wow.
Yeah. I was shocked. That's all I'll tell you.
The live action one.
Yep.
Yep.
Where little rats run around and help Cinderella.
Little CG rats.
CG rats.
God, I can't even...
I'm going to just pick a crazy number.
I'm going to go 25 million.
It made 25 million during its entire run,
and that shocked me.
That was your clue, is I was shocked.
Would you like to pick a bit again?
That's a number I was throwing out.
Probably just that was the rat budget.
It sadly probably was.
It made $150 million.
Okay, that's better.
Jeff, what do you think?
I think you skipped Abe.
No, I didn't.
I'm going to Jeff next.
Okay. Jeff, I didn't. I'm going to Jeff next. Okay.
Jeff, are you present? Yeah, I'm just gonna say $25 million.
Sean,
a.k.a. Harmar, what do you think?
I think it made a fuckload
and I'm gonna go with like
$350 million.
Well, yeah, that would shock me.
And Abe gets to go last because that's the power spot in this game,
and he paid more money to be on this stage than any of us.
How much do you think it made?
I'll say $50 million.
$50?
Yes.
All right.
Well, it's always interesting when somebody stumbles into the wind like Graham Elwood just did.
Because it made $199 million domestic.
So Graham was the closest without going over.
He will fight every one of you.
Or strike a pose.
Either way.
All right.
So, Graham, that means you get to go first
in a brand new game.
Yeah.
The subject of taglines has come up.
You know, like, in space, no one can hear you scream from the original alien.
And that came up on the show a few times recently.
So a lot of people have been tweeting me saying I should do a game about taglines.
And specifically, I'm going to give the credit for the title of this game,
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
It was suggested by James
Schultz. S-H-U-L-T-S
on Twitter.
And so the idea is, Graham, I'm going
to say a tagline from a
movie, and this is just between people on stage, so
please don't yell out from the audience,
especially if the point break guy from last
night is here.
And, uh...
And, uh... Although, actually, I'm looking at it, and none of these are point breaks, so don't worry about that. Last night is here.
Although, actually, I'm looking at it, and none of these are point breaks, so don't worry about that.
Graham gets to go first.
I'll say a tagline from a movie.
You have a few seconds to guess.
If you can't think of it, we'll move to Abe and on down the line.
Whenever it gets to you and you can't think of an answer, you're out.
Okay.
Just one guess, please.
Don't just start yelling out a bunch of movies.
The first one in a random list that I made is Don't set him off.
The Hulk.
Incorrect.
The Hulk lives.
What'd I say about multiple guesses?
Abe?
Any idea?
The Incredible Hulk?
That movie should have had a question mark at the end.
The Incredible Hulk lives?
Come on.
All right, we're down to Jeff.
That's John Wick.
That's John Wick, that's correct.
Oh, nice.
All right, so we're down to,
it's just between Harmar and Jeff,
and Harmar gets to go first on this one.
And the tagline was,
an education
in incarceration.
An education
in incarceration.
Oh, Get Hard?
That's correct.
Oh, nice.
Oh, shit.
Boom.
I thought it was
Brewbaker.
Any prison movie
would have been
a fun answer.
But it was Get Hard.
Jeff, are you curious?
Are you curious?
Is it Fifty Shades of Grey?
That's correct.
Wow.
Jazzy Jeff.
But Jeff, are you curious?
Yeah, I was just asking you a question.
I don't know what...
No.
And, har-mar-mar,
sophistication has a name.
Oh.
Wow.
Okay.
Sophistication has a name.
Let me just say it over and over again and stall for a second.
Sophistication has a name.
Oh, fuck.
It's not oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck you, devil?
No pre-guessing, Jeff.
Do you give up?
I have to guess something.
Guess the most sophisticated thing you could think of.
Marmaduke.
Jeff, do you have any idea?
Is it The Devil Wears Prada?
Nope.
Is it Marmaduke?
Marmaduke was so close.
It's Mordecai.
Oh!
Oh!
Is this a tiebreaker?
Yeah, you guys are still both in it
since neither one of you got that one.
So we'll go back to Sean with this one.
The catchphrase
was pity the bad
guys.
Pity the bad guys.
Pity the bad guys.
DC cab.
That would be...
Oh, I get it, because Mr. T is in it.
I pity
the bad guys.
I think it's actually...
I was like, that would be a really weird
That's awesome
I pity the bad tippers
Jeff do you know what it is?
I think
That one sounds like it could be John Wick 2
Right? That'd be a great name for the sequel, John Wick 2.
John Wick 2, I pity the bad tippers?
Wait, I'm confused.
It's actually the tagline from the first Lethal Weapon.
Lethal Weapon, yeah.
You guys are killing it by not killing it.
Here we go.
Okay.
Would you erase me?
Oh.
Would you erase me?
Would you erase me?
Oh, um, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
It's not Eraser.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
No.
Would you erase me?
No. I think
I think Roger Rabbit
is the most famous cartoon character
nobody likes
like he was the worst part of that movie
yeah I guess if they posed that question
everybody would be like probably
yeah right away do you know what it is Jeff would you erase me of that movie. Yeah, I guess if they posed that question, everybody would be like, probably. Yeah.
Right away. Do you know what it is, Jeff?
Would you erase me? No, no idea.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Oh, my God.
That would be like AI
or something. I'm going to give you guys a softball
because we've got to wrap this one up.
Harmar.
Oh, great.
He gets to go first on the softball.
Yeah.
One dream can change the world.
Shit.
Maybe it's not that soft.
No.
Flatliners. Okay, Jeff, for the win.
I think whatever game he's playing, he's winning.
Like, what should this have been from?
Is it Selma?
Yes.
Selma. One! Selma!
One dream
can change the world.
And that is
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
That's pretty fun.
I like that game.
That's a fun game.
That's a fun game.
I like that game.
And there are a total
of three correct answers
that whole time.
Well, Jeff gets to go first
this time,
and this next game,
and then he'll be followed by Abe and Graham,
and this game is called Last Man Stanton.
Got lots of tweets today from people saying
they have the perfect Last Man Stanton name,
the perfect name, like John Leguizamo or Ali Sheedy.
But I'm going to go to the man who has started the wiki page for Douglas Movies
that has all the stats that you could ever want to read about the show.
He reached out.
His name on Twitter is underscore J underscore lay underscore
because he doesn't want anybody to remember it or find him.
Where are you at, J?
Are you here?
And you didn't make it to the show.
It's right there.
Where is he?
He's just soft spoken.
Hey, there you are.
Good job on that. On that wiki, man.
That's involved.
And it lists every single Last Man Stanton game we've played,
even on the mini-episodes.
And so he's someone that certainly knows what names have not been used,
and he thinks he has a good one for us today.
What is it, Jay?
Nick Cage.
Nick Cage? Nicholas Cage?
Has never been played?
I find that hard to believe, but you're the man.
It's going to be like a five-hour game.
Well, we'll
see. It might be the last game. We'll see.
No, we're doing good. We're doing good on time.
So we'll start with
Jeff and go to Abe, and I'm going to play along because I'm going to kick ass at this one.
Ting.
Conair.
Conair.
Classic.
Don't fuck with the bunny.
That was the tagline.
Abe, Ghost Rider. A ghost rider.
Yeah.
What about you, Graham?
Face off.
Face slash off.
But you don't have to say it out loud.
Um, hmm.
I guess I'll take kick ass.
Kick ass.
There's nobody doing it. Leaving Las Vegas.
Raising Arizona.
Yes.
God, he's so funny in that.
Adaptation.
Kick-Ass 2.
He said it.
They show his photo.
He's billed.
He got paid.
He's in it.
What the fuck?
He's not billed, but they do show his photo,
so I guess I have to give it to you.
I'll boo that shit.
He got paid, motherfucker.
But what's the full title?
Boo
We all know it
It's kick ass 2
Kicking more ass
Yeah
No I'm just kidding
It's just kick ass 2
You fucking asshole. You cocksucker.
That was so great.
The whole theater was like,
shit, what was it?
Kick-Ass 2?
Kick-Ass 2?
The Reckoning?
What was it?
I'll go with Moonstruck.
Ooh.
Did you really just do that?
Why are you doing that?
If you were a man, I would throw you out right now.
That's my new rule, is from now on, when a man... Or if...
It is the women's club.
That's why she gets to stay.
But I don't know why you would think
that you were supposed to yell that out right then,
and I hope you'll stop.
Because I said that last night to a guy,
and he still kept yelling point break.
So if you are going to yell out again,
just stick with gone in 60 seconds.
Or shut the fuck up.
Yeah, no, that's the preferred choice
would be to shut the fuck up.
Are you someone that's never heard the podcast
and somebody dragged you here
and are generally an asshole?
I mean, I cannot get more sick of this.
Like, I cannot get more sick of people
yelling out answers during the games.
Like, when they're taping Jeopardy,
people don't yell out when they know the games. Like, when they're taping Jeopardy, people don't yell out
when they know the answer.
You're attending
a fucking game show.
Get your shit together.
Yes, all women.
This makes me so mad
when I get angry at a woman.
That Point Break guy, I could scream at him all I want.
Nobody's going to be like, stop screaming at that guy.
But you treated him equally.
I try to.
Yeah, if you want equal pay, then you should yell that equally for being a fuck stick.
Well.
I don't think that's the thing you should call a lady.
Maybe she doesn't know any better because she's just like one of those women from...
The Wicker Man.
Nice segue.
Wow. Back into gameplay Nice segue. Wow.
Back into gameplay.
Wow.
Wow.
Love it.
Is Gone in 60 Seconds
still on the table?
Of course it is.
Gone in 60 Seconds.
Abe?
Joe.
That's a good film.
Yeah, I like it.
I just have a big cup of that movie.
People are going to fucking...
I was going to say one that I might get the title wrong.
That's really embarrassing when I get the title wrong.
Because people are happy to point that out to me.
So instead, I'm going to go with...
Vampire's Kiss.
What's happening?
It's Graham's turn.
That guy started yelling.
I was like, are you saying an answer?
Why are you yelling out?
Sorry, Graham.
Vampire's kiss?
Graham Elwood, you are a national treasure.
Yeah!
Yes!
Oh!
Shit.
I really want to go for this one because I'm feeling like a hot dog,
but it's really hard.
Okay, Bad Lieutenant Port of New Orleans.
Oh, no!
I think there is a two in there.
I mean, yeah, Bad Lieutenant 2.
Let's look it up.
That's right, Bad Lieutenant Port of Call, New Orleans. Fuck! Yeah, I think that's what it's called. I mean, I don't That's right, Bad Lieutenant, Port of Call, New Orleans. Fuck.
Yeah, I think that's what it's called. I mean, I get it.
That's pretty honorable. I didn't want
to, oh yeah, that's, as losses go
it's a really honorable one.
Sorry, Juana Manda.
You couldn't, you couldn't think
of a movie that just had a picture of
Nicolas Cage in it? I was thinking about it, but
I wanted to go for the glory and just let you guys just hang out.
It's the dumbest title because it's got two colons in it.
Oh, fuck you.
Yeah, it's got twice the chance to get rectal cancer.
It's Bad Lieutenant Port of Call, New Orleans.
I missed Call.
That's the only thing I missed.
There was no two, right?
Yeah.
And Leonard Maltin, the last line of his review says,
Bears no resemblance to the 1992 thing I missed. There's no two, right? Yeah. And Leonard Maltin, the last line of his review says, bears no resemblance to the 1992 film Bad Lieutenant.
Well, there's a slight resemblance.
There's a lieutenant.
And he's bad.
Bad.
You know.
It's not like they did Bad Santa 2 and it was about the Easter Bunny.
They had achieved similar ranks.
Jeff, it's your turn.
Wind Talkers.
Oh, nice. Nice.
Do you know that movie's original title was Fartmouth?
Yeah.
It was Bad Lieutenant, Port of Call, The Old West.
Fartmouth.
port of call, the Old West.
Fart mouth.
Did you see that footage of fart mouth performing on stage and people started
throwing bread at them?
Oh, smash mouth, sorry.
Abe.
National Treasure 2, Book of
Secrets.
Oh, nice. That's what I
was trying to think of, whatever it was. I was like,
book of something, fun times. Watch out for Abe. That's what I was trying to think of, whatever it was. I was like, book of something, fun times.
Watch out for Abe.
Abe's the...
Yeah, he's solid.
I will go with...
Wait, wait, wait.
Let me say one first that you can take.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Wow.
Did you just look that up or something?
No, I remember... Did you have your or something? No, I remember.
Did you have your device out?
No, this is one of those things I always remember.
Like, there's a bunch of smaller name guys in that.
Eric Stoltz, they're all like Spicoli's crew.
And they're like, they all became a little more famous after that.
Film trivia, guys. ComedyFilmNerds.com.
I saw Fast Times for the first time two days ago on an airplane.
What?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
There are a lot of tits in that movie for those two nice old ladies sitting next to me to be right next to me.
That I was not expecting.
Like, I was like, I just continued to apologize.
I'm very sorry I've never seen this.
I did not know.
Like, we can all look away if that makes you feel better.
And they're like, you've never seen this?
I wonder what kind of,
like, I bet you they've had lots of ceremonies
here, you know? Like, I bet you,
I'm guessing maybe Peggy Sue
got married here.
Peggy Sue got married.
Well, maybe once,
maybe after she got married here, she had her honeymoon
in Vegas.
Okay. Here we go.
And of course it was Vegas because she was
wild at heart.
Oh!
Watch out for it.
The thing about Peggy Sue you didn't realize was actually
she was a valley girl.
Heatinating up.
I really wish I could be involved in this, but...
Me too.
Because I'm about to tap out.
Unless he was in a film called Tap Out.
Or me too. He could have been in a movie. Any of those could have been in a film called Tap Out. Or Me Too.
Any of those could have been a movie.
I'm going to go with...
What was that one movie called?
Fuck!
Oh, I've got a really good one in my head.
I can picture it, but I can't think of the god damn title
I'm gonna step down
wow
yeah
it's disappointing when your heroes fail
you're the comedian
the women's club of Minneapolis needs
Jeff
not the one it deserves
Amos and Andrew
oh yeah
that's a good pull we're on Abe Jeff? Not the one it deserves. Amos and Andrew. Oh, yeah.
Fuck.
That's a good pull.
Um, I will go... We're on Abe.
It's his turn.
Unless you want to...
Okay, go ahead.
Ghost Rider 2?
I think it has more of a title.
And I can't remember it.
I was hoping no one else would.
Oh.
Good try, though.
Graham, do you know the rest of the title of that one?
Or do you want to pick something else?
I can pick something else.
Did somebody already do the first Ghost Rider?
Yeah, he did.
Nice.
I will go with a little weird quirky film called Birdie.
Oh, yeah.
With Matthew Modine.
Oh.
Jeff. Jeff. Oh. Oh. Jeff?
Kiss of Death.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That was when David Caruso
tried to be a movie star.
Yeah.
And Sam Jackson played a guy
who cried constantly.
The whole time.
Not crying,
but just had water
coming out of his eye.
He had a pollen allergy.
That was a remake, too.
All right, Graham.
Abe's out?
Yeah.
Yep, I'm out.
Okay, so it's that last round when you tried to go instead of him, and then he didn't come up with it.
Oh, shit.
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
It's coming up right now.
It's coming.
Something's coming in Graham's head.
Better clean up.
I think he's done.
No, Ghost Rider 2, Hell's Fury.
That's right.
They re-released it in Japan.
I loved your commitment to it.
All right, so Graham's out out That means Jeff's our winner
I have more
And he's got more
Hold up everybody
What else you got?
Trapped in Paradise, The Rock
The Rock, of course
That Frozen Ground movie
Where he's a cop And Cusack's a serial killer.
Something called Stolen with Josh Lucas.
It's called Frozen Ground?
Yeah.
He's made a lot of little weird things.
Yeah, those.
Bringing out the dead.
And what's, Jeff, for the final blow, what is the subtitle on the second Ghost Rider?
No.
No idea?
No idea. I think No idea? No idea.
I think it's Ed's Hardy.
Oh, fucking the movie, the Hell movie.
What was that called?
Drive Angry.
Drive Angry.
Drive Angry.
All right, what else did we miss, audience?
Yeah, we missed a lot.
Left Behind. Left Behind? Oh, Left Behind. Left Behind?
Oh, Left Behind.
Left Behind? He was in Left Behind?
What's the rest of Ghost Rider?
Spirit of Vengeance?
No wonder that's hard to remember.
Dumb.
Wow.
Matchstick Men.
Oh, that's a great movie. Matchstick Men, yeah's a great movie Matchstick Men yeah
The Weatherman
Oh the Lord of War
Family Man
There's so many
There's a lot of them holy shit
I'm glad we didn't play this out
What was the
Black and white movie that he was
That he went went early on?
Rumblefish.
Fuck, I couldn't think of Rumblefish.
Casablanca.
Yes, Casablanca.
Yes.
All right, you guys.
That was a really exciting round of it.
Thank you.
Thank you to 99.99% of the audience for not yelling out at the wrong time.
Apologies to that young lady.
Maybe she's, you know, never seen
the show before.
Got excited.
Or ever even heard of it.
Maybe she's only seen one
movie in her life.
And it was gone in 60 seconds.
And nobody wants to
hang out with her because it's all she talks about.
She has gone in 60 seconds Tourette's.
That would probably make all her relationships very short.
Like maybe they're gone in 60 seconds.
Wouldn't take that long.
Nope.
I mean, if you're around somebody that that's all they want to talk about,
you'd get that impression way, really quick and get the hell out of there.
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
Well, since Jeff took that thing down, he gets to start us off,
and then we'll go to Sean, and then to Graham, and then to Abe.
And Jeff gets to pick the first category.
Because Graham's already in the bucket That's really convenient that you have something to throw up in
After you eat all that stuff
You just dump vomit on Carrie's head
At the prom
Yeah, we couldn't kill a pig
And Graham got sick
So we just decided to go with that instead What does that word you say? Carrie's head at the prom. Yeah, we couldn't kill a pig and Graham got sick,
so we just decided to go with that instead.
What's that word you say?
Metaphobes?
Graham is not for metaphobes. Yeah, Graham is definitely not for metaphobes.
These are really good chips.
What kind are they?
Oh, Lay's?
Ruffles.
Cheddar brand ruffles.
Cheddar what?
I'm sorry, ruffles.
I said cheddar brand ruffles.
I don't know.
My blood sugar's dropping, man.
This is fucking all collapsing right now.
This is not vegan.
It's all falling goddamn apart.
Is cheddar a brand?
Wow, you're like trumping Sam Levine
in the excuse department.
Whenever he doesn't do it too well,
it's always because of alcohol.
Jeff gets to pick between...
Sam's a bitch.
And of course, Sam's a bitch,
the category is movies about a female dog
named Samantha.
No, your options are
ghetto milkshake suggested on Twitter,
the world according to ARF,
and that's movies that have a dog narrating them.
And as I had to explain on another show recently,
that doesn't mean an actual dog narrates the movie.
It's an actor representing a dog.
Bert Kreischer really got stuck on that point.
At C underscore Mattel suggested Sour Diesel,
which of course is Vinnie Diesel movies
that Leonard gave two stars or less.
And your third option from Bro Jammer Josh
is Going Clear,
and that's movies that have an invisible character in them.
Movies with invisibility.
Could be an invisible dog, even.
Wow. Which one of those do you want to play?
Going Clear.
Okay, would you like a movie with
invisibility in it from
1967
or 2005?
And let me just guess ahead of time
which one you're going to pick.
Yeah, guess. 2005.
2005, yeah. Okay.
I don't know why anyone would pick
67, but I'll force it
on somebody someday.
Two stars.
From Leonard.
That is not how you should say that.
What?
I'll force it on someone someday.
I'm going to jam this category
in their face.
2005 is the year.
Two stars.
Invisibility.
Leonard says...
Leonard says about this movie
that...
This is not easy.
This movie's going to alienate hardcore fans.
Of movies?
And a famous person makes a cameo
in the movie as a mailman
and Leonard lists nine names
how many names can you get it in
of course moving forward a reminder that this game is just between
the folks on stage
I'm going to say nine
seems like a
Wise opening bit
Which way did I say we're going?
To Abe?
I'll go eight
Abe knows how to play
Graham?
I'll go seven
Graham also knows how to play.
I'm like, I'm detecting like... Change this place to the Players Club of Minneapolis.
Trying to figure out the pattern, but I'm just going to randomly pick six.
He goes six.
He says six names, Jeff. As I name it. Oh goes six. He says six names, Jeff.
As I name it.
Oh, okay.
Here's your six names.
Maria Menounos,
Lori Holden,
Kerry Washington,
Hamish Linklater,
Julian McMahon,
and Michael Chiklis
six names
what do you think it is
what no you have to guess
I have to guess
yeah
wait I'm like
I thought you did this before
you know I haven't played Leonard Muldoon with you guys oh we didn't play that okay Wait, I'm like... I thought you did this before.
You know, I haven't played Leonard Martin with you guys. Oh, we didn't play that?
Okay. So yeah, those are your six names.
Yeah, I'm here. So I got six. Is it
Sin City? No.
Who's invisible
in Sin City? I don't remember.
I wish Jessica Alba's chaps
were.
Ooh.
Women!
She's a successful business woman.
I'm just talking about her chaps in Sin City.
But she indeed is in the film,
and she's invisible.
It's called Fantastic Four.
Michael Chiklis played the thing.
Fucking Chiklis.
So that means Jeff gets a point.
Good job, Jeff.
Good job, Spike, just noticing weakness and pouncing on it.
No, I didn't.
I knew that I had no idea.
Yeah.
And I did not know he didn't know how the game was played.
I just didn't know.
All right, we're going to
start with
Graham and then go to Abe and Graham
gets to pick. Between
Me, B, Tommy, B
suggested I said good day.
And that's
Daniel Day-Lewis movies
that Leonard gave three stars or more.
I said good day.
Bucket of Manus suggested.
Is there any Manus in your bucket there, Graham?
Yep.
Get a big bag of gluten-free Manus at the bottom of this bad puppy.
Passenger 50 Slevin.
That's movies with Josh Hartnett or Wesley Snipes.
That's movies with Josh Hartnett or Wesley Snipes.
And Eric R. Stevens suggested 5, 8, 8, 2, 300.
Empire.
Empire.
Actors from the TV show Empire in film.
Which one of those would you like, Brandon? What was the first one?
The first one was was I said Good Day
Good Daniel Day-Lewis movies
Three stars or more
Danny D, baby
Danny D
Would you like a Danny D
From 1996 or 1997?
Should I have said Slevin?
96 Alright Three stars from Leonard Maltin Should I have said Slevin? 96.
All right.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 1996.
It's got Daniel Day-Lewis in it.
He says about this movie that...
It's based on a classic play,
and it gets off to a shaky start.
And he lists eight names.
How many names can you get it in, Graham?
How many names can you get it in, Graham?
Graham, are you with us?
Or against us?
Alright, fuck.
I'll go seven.
He says seven names, Abe.
I'll go six.
Jeff.
Jeff.
Jeff.
Jeff.
Fuck.
There should be more swearing on game shows.
Pat Sajak, can you solve the puzzle?
Oh, fuck.
Nope, that's not it.
I fucking don't.
Name it.
Name it.
You're giving him the six names?
Yeah, I don't have... I'm not even sure who Daniel Day-Lewis is.
So if Abe doesn't know this, Jeff wins.
That's right.
Yeah, and you can get to your show in plenty of time
does ship the bed fast wait should I wait do I'm gonna just say five or
whatever that would be neat if you did that all right five I say five
all right now I gotta explain to Sean what your options are,
because you can ask him to name it, and then I'll give him the five names,
and he will fail to name it, and you will get a point.
Or you can bid less names and take your chances that, you know...
Well, name it sounds like the easy road.
So I'd like to do less of a challenge right now, and I think you should name it.
Okay. All right, Alright Jeff I'm sorry
I'm so sorry
Let me just give you a hint of who Daniel Day-Lewis is
Sometimes he wears a hat
But I'm really shocked
That you've gotten this far
In my life
My life My life But I'm really shocked that you've gotten this far in my life.
My life.
My life!
Like, Daniel Day-Lewis doesn't make a lot of movies,
but he's a pretty huge actor to not be familiar with at all.
He's always the top-billed person in everything he's in.
I've said too much. Here's your five names.
You're like, you're my son and you're disappointing me.
I feel like your vetting process needs some fine tuning.
If you're upset I've made it this far into your life.
You should bring up Daniel Day-Lewis, fella, earlier in our relationship.
We met nine years ago.
It would have been very weird to bring him up and you say,
I have no idea who that is,
and I say, I do not want to know you.
Your five names are George Gaines, Jeffrey Jones,
Rob Campbell, Bruce Davidson,
and Paul Schofield.
Three more names remain.
You don't know who Daniel Day-Lewis is, so I don't even know why I'm waiting for an answer.
Is it a movie called Ravenous?
No.
Okay.
But that was a great play, Ravenous.
Oh yeah, this movie was based on a play.
It did, in fact.
Is it Cats?
Daniel Day-Lewis as cats.
He was in a Broadway musical adapted to film called Nine,
but that's not the movie question.
Nine.
My nine.
The rest of the names are Joan Allen, Winona Ryder.
Have you heard of Winona Ryder?
Yeah.
And Daniel Day-Lewis.
And it's called The Crucible.
And you knew it!
I'm a dammit! I wouldn't have gotten it from those
actors though. I would not like, not
tell Winona Ryder. Yeah, that was a tough
pull for sure. And Jeff has
one point and Harmar has one point.
And...
We'll start with Abe and go to
Graham.
And yeah... That'd be funny if somebody suggested We'll start with Abe and go to Graham. And, yeah.
That'd be funny if somebody suggested
playing Daniel Day-Lewis
in the Last Man Stanton game
because I will immediately say yes
and eliminate Jeff right away.
No, because if I go first,
I'll say The Crucible.
And I will make it one
round.
You're a sly one.
You're a sly boots motherfucker.
But yeah, I picked for that,
I picked two of the most obscure Daniel Day-Lewis
movies because it would be too easy
if it were some of his other ones, I thought, in my head.
But I guess he's not that famous.
My Left Foot.
Did you ever see that?
No.
Is that the man with red shirt?
He won an Oscar for that.
Did you ever hear of a president named Lincoln?
Yeah.
He was in a film about that.
Won the Oscar for Best Actor just a few years ago.
It's one of those hat roles.
Hats, yes.
a few years ago.
It's one of those hat rolls.
Hats, yes.
And he wore a similar hat in Gangs of New York,
the Scorsese movie
with Leonardo DiCaprio,
where he's also amazing.
I saw that movie.
You know who he is.
All right.
Abe gets to pick a category.
Between, betwixt,
T. Calais on Twitter
suggested Mount Cushmore, and this is my Mount Cushmore
because I smoked with these four gentlemen
the films of Snoop Dogg, Willie Nelson, Cheech and Chong
I don't believe there's one that they're all in
Andrew Smith
that's a great Twitter name, that's just easy to look at and read
Andrew Smith
suggested Miscavige of Justice. Miscavige of Justice. And that's courtroom movies that
have a Scientologist in them. It's a particularly fun one if you've seen the movie Going Clear
and know that Scientology is pure evil
and that they don't have to pay taxes
and they're all rich
because it's supposedly a religion.
That sounds pretty cool.
Yeah.
They really figured out a smart thing to do.
K. A. D. Freeman suggested S. Apatha...
Sorry.
S. Epitapha sorry S. Epitapha
Merkerson and that's movies
where S. Epitapha Merkerson
dies.
And
if you know who she is, we're friends again.
Yeah.
I know exactly who S. Epitapha
Merkerson is. She was on
The Shield.
That was Chickless. So close. the shield. That was Chickless.
So close. Yeah, that was Michael
Chickless.
It was a different
black woman chief
or, you know,
head cop. Which category do you want, Jeff?
Is my turn?
I'm sorry, Abe. I was like looking at Jeff
the whole time like, pick one.
Sorry, Abe, which one?
Let's do the Scientology courtroom one.
Okay.
The year is 1992.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie that has a Scientologist in it and courtroom scenes.
he says about this movie that it has a handful
of contrivances
that keep it from
scoring a direct hit
and he also
calls it
he also
says that it's based on
a play
because I know how you love that clue
and he lists 14 names.
How many names, Abe?
I'm going to go zero names, Doug.
I love it.
Graham, what are you going to do with that?
Abe, I want you to name it, my friend.
Stand tall.
What's it called, Gabe?
I believe it's A Few Good Men.
That's correct.
Wait, that was a play?
It was a play by Aaron Sorkin that got turned into a movie written by Aaron Sorkin.
Oh, man, I thought for a second it might be The Crucible.
I'm not above doing something weird like that
Alright
So we have a three way tie
Graham's the only one that's not on the board
Since he challenged
That last time
We're going to start with Jeff
And go to Sean
A.K.A. Harmar
And you get to pick
A category
Jeff Jeff and you get to pick a category.
Jeff.
Jeff.
Jay Boogie Down suggested The Toxic Avenger
and that's
Robert Downey Jr. movies
that got two stars
or less.
Because he is the toxic
Avenger.
Boogie.
Here's a category I just came up with today.
My Wife!
And it's the films of Sacha Baron Cohen.
And your third option is...
I love that this comes up when you're playing.
The other Jeff Tate
films that have Queensryche
on the soundtrack.
Which some would think Jeff would have
an advantage in that, but Jeff has never
looked up the other Jeff Tate
to see. No?
No. Which of those categories
do you want to play?
I think I want to play the first one.
Robert Downey Jr.? Oh, yeah, yeah.
That one. Two stars or less? Yeah.
Okay.
Wait a second. I totally
fucked this up.
Oh, hey, is he the I'll Drink Your Milkshake
guy from that oil movie?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's one I should have mentioned.
Yeah, all right.
He wore a hat in that, too, I think.
I'll have some of your milkshake, please.
I've seen that movie.
Yeah, it's very polite, the way he orders it.
Excuse me, I've abandoned my boy.
If you don't bring me a milkshake, I will beat you with a bowling pin.
I'd like to see a comment card, please.
I believe I ordered a milkshake.
I've got to do something here real quick.
I've got to find a Robert Downey Jr. movie that got less than two stars.
While you do that, I'm going to throw a bag of Kit Kats to the balcony.
Oh, okay.
Jesus.
Hands up.
Are you okay?
I thought...
I thought you were gonna, like,
throw the big...
I didn't know you were gonna
just toss the whole bag
really hard.
What else can we throw?
I don't know, but why is...
Why are you so...
It's just right there.
Somebody...
It's still impressive.
Yeah, okay, let's see you do it.
Fuck your
milkshake, Graham.
Does the balcony like
donuts?
Yeah, yeah.
Doug's going to throw a bag of donuts.
How about this bottle of beer?
Does the balcony like bottle rockets and a BB gun?
Sucker!
Ladies and gentlemen, do you guys like Twix Bites?
Yeah! Ladies and gentlemen, do you guys like Twix Bites?
Jesus Christ.
And Usher just died.
That's intense.
Oh my God.
If you want something out of that bucket,
you should grab it now.
I'm going to hang on to these pretzel bites real quick.
And the glutinos.
And yes. I'm keeping these M&Ms.
Everything else, I'll chuck at somebody.
The audience is all women.
Just keep whipping stuff out there.
Hello.
Here's a candy.
I've never heard of this.
Hello.
My name is Sweet Popcorn.
That's my prostitute name.
Take that, row eight.
You should have hung on to that one.
That sounds almost gluten-free.
Pardon me, I ordered a milkshake like eight minutes ago.
Is there...
Right?
It's like from the end.
Jeff, did you pick this category?
I picked the category that Robert Downey Jr. was in.
Yeah.
I found one.
Okay.
A movie that Leonard gave two stars or less.
And which way did I say we were going after this?
We're going to Abe?
Who knows?
It keeps changing.
Yeah, that's the idea.
We switch the order each time.
Oh, that's cool.
I'm totally learning.
Yeah.
I think it goes to Sean.
I think it goes to Sean. I think it goes to me.
Because there's so much candy tossing.
Hi.
One and a half
stars for this one.
It's got Robert Downey Jr. in it.
It's from 1994.
Leonard calls this movie
a supposed satire
he also says
he also says that
it's boring and repetitious
okay
do I get a guess?
Graham is acting out I like giving a theater audience a little extra treat
yeah i'm gonna throw it right at their faces yeah i'm gonna throw my mime work right in your mouth
zero names easy carrie 15 names can we play the game can i say how many names first and then you
say oh i thought you said it i didn't okay how many when did i say it 15 names how many names first and then you say? Oh, I thought you said it. I didn't. Okay.
How many names? When did I say it?
Fifteen names.
How many?
Zero?
Zero.
He says zero names, Sean.
So this puts Sean in a tough spot because do you think you know what this movie might be?
I don't off the top of my head.
I need some names.
Because you can go negative names and that's where you have to name the movie and name the top-billed person.
I'm fucked.
I think you might be.
Yeah.
But we've had such a good time today.
Oh, I'm out then.
We've had a lot of fun.
No, you're just going to have to ask Jeff to name it.
If he misses, you're our winner.
Okay.
But I have a feeling he's got a strong lock on this one.
I know.
I feel like it, too.
I want you to name it because I want you to win It's just a lot of sportsmanship here
That's nice of you man
Just not good or bad, just sort of sportsmanship
Whoever wins it, I'll throw a bag of candy to their preferred section
They'll point like a baseball player with the bat
And then you'll fucking hurl it in there
Fucking right at their face
If I get this right I would like you to politely
hand a bag of candy to that lady right there.
You got it.
I want to see if you can do that.
While you're dealing with an at-risk youth
or something like that,
we need to learn you basic skills.
Yeah.
Is it soap dish?
Harmar Superstar is our winner!
It just proves if you stay quiet and don't do anything, you might win.
The film is called Natural Born Killers.
Oh.
Right? Leonard did not care for it.
Leonard did not like that.
Yeah, so that's kind of confusing.
Yeah.
Let's see what he gave Soap Dish
as long as we're in the neighborhood.
While he's looking that up,
where do you want me
to chuck this bag of candy?
Right to that guy.
He wants it bad.
I want his arms are up.
This guy in the...
Like a goal post right there.
Yeah, you see him.
Soft toss.
Nice hands.
Oh.
Get out of your chair, goddammit.
If you can touch it,
you can catch it
Now run a fucking lap around the theater
Bullshit
What?
Coach Elwood is the worst
Who'd you have for P.E. this year?
Elwood
And he doesn't use a metal whistle
He has his own
We should seat the audience like a wedding like pro whistle on one side and auntie i won't whistle
last time everyone got all mad on twitter do you really think do you really think the pro
are you guys still talking about whatever it is you're talking about right now
uh soap dish got two stars and but, but Leonard called it Farcical.
And I don't know if he calls it repetitious, though,
but that was a really good guess, Jeff.
That was my point.
But congratulations to Harmar and who he was playing for.
Do you want Amanda as the real winner, I think?
And the joint still survived on the ball.
That's pretty good.
Do you want to come down and get all your stuff?
Amanda?
And Graham, start us off with your plugs.
Just come to the Los Angeles Podcast Festival
where Doug will be doing all of his movies
And Dining with Doug and Karen
And also Mark Maron will be there
Who just interviewed President Obama
That is September 18th through the 20th
Go to
LAPodFest.com
And listen to Comedy Film Nerds
It's a lot of fun
Thank you
I'm requesting a Lyft because my Uber app is broken. It's broken.
I can't get it to fucking work. They keep texting some other number. I can't change
it. I don't know what the fuck's going on. It's driving me nuts. Weird. So you're going
Lyft. I go Lyft. I don't mind Lyft. Yeah. They're good guys over there. Is it working?
Yeah, it works. It's good business. Maybe one of these guys could give you a ride, probably, if they want to take you out.
Yeah.
Ride on her scooter.
Melissa McCarthy wants to give you a ride on her scooter.
All right.
That bucket could be a good helmet.
Well, Stacy 4.9 stars is arriving in one minute.
That seems quick. I guess you've got to get going.
Grant Melwood, everybody.
Thank you so much.
Wow.
Just when they think they're safe from bags of candy, he still hurls another one at them.
Yeah, good to see you.
Yeah, give some hugs and goodbyes.
Have good shows, buddy.
See you later.
Abe Vanderbilt, what have you got to plug?
A friend of mine and I have a Funnier Die channel where we put up sketches that we shoot, write, edit together.
Funnierdie.com slash A-V-L-A-M-N.
Awesome.
Thanks for being a great guest.
Yeah, man.
And for donating all that money to a good cause.
Yeah. Nice to. Yeah, man. And for donating all that money to a good cause. Yeah.
Nice to meet you, man.
Smile Train
fixes children
with cleft palates
in third world countries
in there.
It's a good cause.
250 bucks
fixes a kid's mouth
for life.
Jeff,
what do you got
to plug, buddy?
January,
or July 9th
through 12th,
I'm going to go
bananas in Cincinnati.
Yeah, but where are you in January?
I really want to plan ahead.
I have two dates in January,
but you just hold on on those.
Just pencil it in.
July 9 through 12,
Go Bananas in Cincinnati.
I have a Tuesday show in Cincinnati
at the Urban Artifact every week.
So if you're in Cincinnati listening,
come to that show. It's eight o'clock on Tuesdays. And, uh, I got a big fall tour
that I'm putting together. I'm going to Chicago and Detroit and Boston and DC and fucking, uh,
New York city and, uh, many, I'll be in Minneapolis. I'll be, I'll be, oh shit.
That's a good idea. Why don't you plug your Minneapolis date?
I'll be in Minneapolis.
I'll be.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Why don't you plug your Minneapolis date?
August 13 through 15.
I'm at the joke joint in the other one.
Like, don't mention it.
But it's nearby.
So go there.
And I'll be there.
Right on.
Yeah.
Sean. And I have albums.
Go buy my albums outside.
You always have more to say when I'm ready to move on.
I know.
I know.
God damn it.
Sean, what do you got?
You got a tour coming up?
Not a tour.
I've got shows coming up in New York and Minneapolis and Fargo and Paris and St. Paul.
Go to HarmOurSuperstar.com.
People say that sentence a lot.
Paris and St. Paul.
Fargo, Paris, St. Paul.
Weird routing.
Yeah.
Look for them. HarmOurSuperstar.com Look for him HarmourSuperstar.com
Yeah
HarmourSuperstar.com
I'm working on a new album
So that'll come out next year
Great
He does great live shows
You guys
And he also
He's great at
Playing games
He doesn't understand
Cause he took it down tonight
So congratulations to you
And thanks again
One more time To all of my guests,
Graham Elwood,
Abe Vanderman,
Jeff Tate,
Harmar Superstar.
And as always,
overzealous prosecution is a shithead.
People who cut you off in traffic are a shithead? People who cut you off
in traffic are a shithead?
Bill O'Reilly is a shithead.
Thanks for coming, you guys. room in his heart for you. Cause the Hulk movies.
Thanks for coming, you guys.
We'll see you again soon.