Doug Loves Movies - Har Mar Superstar, Owen Egerton and Doug Mellard guest

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

Live from the Stateside Theatre in Austin as part of SXSW, Doug welcomes Har Mar Superstar, Owen Egerton and Doug Mellard to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on S...titcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and maybe sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies.
Starting point is 00:00:36 This is I Love Movies. Yeah, coming to you once again. I'm so excited from the Stateside Theater on Congress. It's right near the Capitol in Texas's Capitol, Austin. I'm pretty good at this without my notes, aren't I? Oh, shit, wrong side. Hang on, so many sides to this piece of paper. I love South by Southwest because I get to see lots of movies. But the main reason that I love South by Southwest is because it's in Austin, Texas!
Starting point is 00:01:23 That was much smoother. We'll cut out that other rambling part that i did before it's saturday march 16 2019 i put a lot of austinites on the guest list and uh thank you guys for showing up if you you weren't here, still be nice people here. We'd still have a nice time, but filled it up a little bit. And I appreciate that. Because like normally we're on Saturday like at 420. And so we get a slightly bigger crowd in here, you know, because we're not going up against the premiere of Pet Cemetery.
Starting point is 00:02:05 Like, I mean, I always love doing Douglas movies. I never, ever while I'm doing it, think that there's anywhere else I'd rather be. But they put a goddamn premiere of the new Pet Sematary next door. It's practically, it's like we'll be able to hear some of that shit through the wall probably coming through from the good old Paramount. But anyway, I am very, very happy and excited to be
Starting point is 00:02:32 here. And I want to see what the name tag situation is. There will be Brian on the bowling pin. That's a classic. We've seen that before. And on a stick. You really know what you're doing. Hereditary. That's, we've seen that one before, right? Good job, Terry. Friday the Toe Bay. Your name's Toby? Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:01 So instead of Friday the 13th, you're Friday the Tobey. But you have an amazing hockey mask with lots of holes in it. And then what part is it? I can't see the bottom. Oh, part three, Doug. I wish.
Starting point is 00:03:18 I would play three parts in a Friday the 13th movie whenever they ask. Wild, wild Jess. That's an art project right there. Whenever they ask. Wild Wild Jess. That's an art project right there. That's straight off the refrigerator. Also this Army of Darkness. Darknessa.
Starting point is 00:03:34 That's awesome. Turn around and show everybody that one. You don't have to stand, but look at that. Oh, it's even got a little holder on the back so she can just stick her hand in it. Not get all... What would you get from holding a name tag up for too long? Carpal tunnel? Really?
Starting point is 00:03:53 And then there's a young lady here just holding up her festival badge, which does not count. We don't need no stinking badges. It's all these art projects that matter. And this guy, what is that? We don't need no stinking badges. It's all these art projects that matter. And this guy, what is that? You're just holding up a copy of Pet Sematary just to make me feel worse? Why do you have to keep fucking rubbing it in, dude?
Starting point is 00:04:18 I'm here for you guys. I don't care about that premiere next door. But what'd you change it to? Pet Sematary to what? Pet Sematary. I don't care about that premiere next door. But what'd you change it to? Pet Sematary to what? Pet Sematary. Pet Sematary. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:35 It's no hereditary, but I'll take it. But anyway, great job, everyone. And we can bring the house lights down now so that I can't see anybody anymore. Perfect. It's so weird. I've seen lots of movies in this theater and now I'm just sitting on the stage and there's not going to be a movie.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Oh, they got my logo up there. That's nice. Doug plugs. Indianapolis, it's happening. There's a new helium comedy club in town and we are going to have a gas when I do stand up on Saturday, March 23rd. That's a new Helium Comedy Club in town, and we are going to have a gas when I do stand-up on Saturday, March 23rd. That's a week from today, at 420. And special guest Jeff Tate will be there.
Starting point is 00:05:14 And I'm doing Douglas Movies Sunday, March 24th at 420 at Helium in Indy. Douglas Movies is back in L.A. on Tuesday, March 26th at UCB Franklin at 9.30 p.m. And we're returning to the Comedy Cellar at the Rio in Vegas on Sunday, March 30th at 4.20. For all my dates, we just added shows in Philly, D.C., and Baltimore. Go to DougLovesMovies.com. Let's DougLovesMovies.com! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:05:45 Hoorah! I mean, I really thought that it wouldn't be perfect because, you know, there's plenty of people here that are just attending a film festival and came in here going, let's check out this movie. And you're like, this is the longest goddamn intro to a film I've seen at this festival. When is he going to start the Doug Loves Movies movie? Which is something that I should make,
Starting point is 00:06:13 because there's probably some people out there listening that can never get, you know, they're never close enough to the town I'm in doing the show when I take it out on the road. So it'd be great to be able to share this with everybody. But people say to me all the time, not all the time, once in a while, you know, why don't you film these shows? Why don't you make it a video as well as audio?
Starting point is 00:06:35 And it's because I love audio and podcasting and the idea that, you know, some people can only listen, they can't watch. And so I'm doing this for them. So I don't know what you guys are, because I thought I really expected applause there. So, um... Too late, too late.
Starting point is 00:06:56 In the prize bag today, I went nuts and brought a lot of stuff. I'm glad this guy's back in his seat. Because I was like, where did he go? Because he didn't come back with a drink, so. Oh, the drink was under his seat. I get it. He went to the bathroom
Starting point is 00:07:18 because now he's going to reload. He's going to drink that next drink. Oh, so a shirt from my friends at Magical Butter, a shirt from my friends at magical butter a shirt from my friends at douglas movies uh a dude in dallas gave me a bunch of these uh wallet caddies it's it looks like a stack of credit cards but you could put uh stuff in it hide it from the po-po Oh my god, funny story I was after a show at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz downtown I was walking down
Starting point is 00:07:52 that alley behind it, which if you love the smell of pee, check it out sometime and if you just want to get back there and really soak it up but I was walking down that alley and I was walking by a group of like, in a circle of people all passing stuff around and smoking.
Starting point is 00:08:09 And this is, you know, 10 o'clock last night on a Friday night during South By. But also coming down the alley are several cops with people in cuffs that they're arresting and they're just taking them to the other side of the alley.
Starting point is 00:08:23 But I got to see one of the cops look at the smoking circle and go, pay attention! Because none of them even looked over at all these cops walking by. And he was so pissed, he was all, pay attention! And then something to the effect of, it was like something like, take that somewhere else, you know, something like that.
Starting point is 00:08:46 I was just like, yeah, because somewhere else is, you know, the back room at almost every place, every business in this town. Just go back there and smoke. But anyway, that was hilarious and awesome. And I've got some, I don't even know if these have expired or anything,
Starting point is 00:09:02 but I've got some coupons for Amy's ice cream. They're gift certificates. They don't even say if these have expired or anything, but I've got some coupons for Amy's ice cream. They're gift certificates. They don't even say how much they're for. Oh, wait. One small ice cream with one crush in or topping. Yeah, so there you go. There's two of those, so date night. Now, this is crazy.
Starting point is 00:09:24 I was recently on a cruise 311 cruise And a lady came up to me And she's like I want you to have these books And I was like Okay One of them is called
Starting point is 00:09:33 E-Dating the Old School Way A Comedic Guide to Online Dating By Maura Stone And the other is Secrets in Seduction By Cherry Blossom. And she's like, I wrote both of these books. And then with a little investigating,
Starting point is 00:09:52 it's really fun because one of the books, where is it, let's see, yeah, here we go. The Cherry Blossom book, on the back says, Cherry Blossom is the anti- Annie East Nin of the 21st century. Yeah, that quote was from Maura Stone. That's why you should write more than one book, you guys, because you can write a nice review about the other book and be on the back of it. So check those out.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Those are going in the prize bag. be on the back of it. Check those out. Those are going in the prize bag. Also, I got lots of fun wristbands from people on the 311 cruise. I'm going to fling some of those out into the crowd during the show today
Starting point is 00:10:35 because I want to have friendship with all of you. I can't wait to get my three guests out here. It's always fun finding out who's in Austin and can do the show. And three buddies of mine turned out to be available. Again, there's no ladies on this one because I'm really trying to fight the matriarchy. That's not why.
Starting point is 00:11:02 A lady that was going to be on canceled today because she got a better gig. Please welcome Owen Edgerton, Doug Millard, and Harmar Superstar. Harmar! There they are. Oh, yeah. Right in that guy's shoulder. Sorry, sir.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Doug, did you already ask if any of these people thought they were in line for Pet Sematary? I would be so funny if someone was just now realizing that you're in Pet Sematary. This is such a weird beginning. You have a Stephen King book. For sure.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Let's just reenact it. Actually, we're just going to do a Q&A about Pet Sematary, but we haven't seen it yet. Oh, right into his hands. In our version, the cat lives. Isn't that a better story? Why are you sitting here spoiling it? The other one. Why are you spoiling the original?
Starting point is 00:12:14 That's like saying after Rocky II comes out, this time he wins. You're spoiling two movies at once. Spoiler alert. Eddie Furlong doesn't do too many movies after this one It's okay, I like Eddie Furlong I wish I'd see him in more things Yeah, well, we'll see
Starting point is 00:12:37 Macaulay Culkin has a podcast He's back Doing it up Let's meet my guests individually. Starting with a gentleman, I think he was first to speak, might be the winner of tonight's Pete Holmes Award. Oh! I've always wanted that award.
Starting point is 00:12:56 I interrupt along with the Master Pancake Fellows, Leprechaun, a new Leprechaun movie every year. We've been doing it for like seven years now. And we couldn't do it without this man because you want the Leprechaun to be present. It's Owen Edgerton, everybody. Everybody. I don't know what that guy yelled. I know.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Clovertoe. It sounds positive. I think he said Clovertoe. I don't know. That could go. I know. It sounds positive. I think he said clover toe. I don't know. That could go either way. It's kind of positive. Yeah, last night Owen had on some leprechaun pants that were really, he had like a male camel toe, whatever they call that.
Starting point is 00:13:39 It showed the ways of the pot of gold. I think it's called a moose knuckle. Yeah, there you go. Oh, I thought a moose knuckle was just like a bigger camel toe. That's actually kind of like those turtles
Starting point is 00:13:51 that you get like as a Christmas present. Sometimes the chocolate and peanut treat. Turtles. What is? What's happening? I don't know what happens.
Starting point is 00:14:01 What are you saying? I'm hanging out with Doug Benson, you guys. You know what's happening. All moose knuckles are treats. Turtles. Anyway, so...
Starting point is 00:14:14 I keep wanting to cross my legs now. So that became the drinking game phrase to yell out Owen's clover toe. Which really means I have four testicles. It was clever. Wow.
Starting point is 00:14:26 And it's good luck to blow on them. Wait, what do you do? With a clover, I'm blowing over a four-leaf clover? All right, we got to see this. I don't know. I've never heard that part. I'm not Irish. Four-leaf clovers are good luck, right?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Yes. Yeah, yeah. Four-clover testicles. And then you blow. I'm just? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Four-clover testicles. And then you... I'm just going to... Doug, who's next? I was trying to pose for this photographer over here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:56 What? It's going to be good. And please put on the caption that Doug loves his Tito's. Doug loves Tito's, your next podcast. Sponsored by AA. My Doug loves Tito's podcast will have questions like
Starting point is 00:15:16 is his name really Tito Beverage? And the answer is yes. Boo! Nice! I haven't hit And the answer is yes. Boo! Nice. Oh, wow. I haven't hit one empty seat the entire time. Let's say hello to Doug Mellard, everybody.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Second best Doug in the world. After Doug, Stanhope. That's what I get sometimes. Do you get either me or Stanhope when people come up to you? Yeah, and none of any of us are alike at all. Right, but once you've said Doug, who cares what the last name is? There's not that many of us. Just go for it.
Starting point is 00:15:57 You know, I always take it as a compliment. I'm named after two Dugs. What? Yeah. My dad said his two best friends were named Doug, and he was like, I never met a Doug I didn't like. Oh. Right?
Starting point is 00:16:14 Right? We're all the best. We're likable. So he made a Doug. Yeah. He fucked my mom till he made a Doug. Fucked her hard. Yelling Doug all the time.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Doug, Doug, Doug. Let's make this fucking Doug. I'm going to Doug in you, baby. Peace and love, you guys. Gave you the dog bug. What was that? 8mm snuff film. My mom's dead.
Starting point is 00:16:51 It's real dark. Stop spoiling Pet Sematary. That's Harmar Superstar! Hello! Hello! I might call him Sean from time to time, so don't get confused. Oh, that's cool, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Two names. It happens, you know, because we're friends. It's weird calling you Harmar Superstar. Yeah, especially since I require that you say the entire Harmar Superstar. Or like you should tell people it's Mr. Harmar Superstar. Harmar Superstar is my father's name. You can call me Sean. I like it.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Thank you for being here. You always come and sing your heart out here all over Austin during South by End other times. Yeah. But you have like a 1 a.m. show tonight? I do. It's the only Harmar set of the festival that we're doing. It's at Cheer Up Charlie's. Yeah, I've been with my new band Heartbones all week playing
Starting point is 00:17:58 shows with a duo that I have with Sabrina Ellis. A giant dog and sweet spirit. Yeah, it's a very fun band to be in and to write songs for. But tonight it's just you. It's all you. It's all about me with the other eight dudes on stage. How many layers do you wear to start?
Starting point is 00:18:19 I don't know. It's a little chilly here in Austin these last couple days. So it'll probably be a jacket, sweatshirt, some leggings, maybe some other leggings. Maybe, I don't know. But it's just amazing the precision with which, like, the show moves along. Exactly. Through the, you're taking off layers of clothes. You really pace it nicely.
Starting point is 00:18:40 I just try, it's for photographers to know what point of the set I was at. It progresses to more and more moose knuckle. Exactly. And it'd be a perfect flip book, you know. Sean, what'd you bring us for the prize? Oh, okay. I've been on the show a bunch of times. You always think about it.
Starting point is 00:19:03 You always bring something thoughtful. I do. I do. I thought really far ahead on the street. On the way here, I got some branded sunglasses by Jump Scooters. I'm just going to keep handing this stuff off to you. Oh, I got those for free? I like those. I know you're going to keep half of this stuff. And I found this on the actual street.
Starting point is 00:19:19 DJ Tazi's mixtape, Bay is in the Area South by Southwest Edition hosted by Mr. Fab. I don't know if it's good or the content is anything I agree with, but I'm guessing probably amazing. Brought some Heartbones sleep masks. I got two for you, one
Starting point is 00:19:40 for Alicia and you. Did I just do something weird? A Heartbones patch. I don't know. I just sort of threw this together but I went way too overboard. I got so excited about you guys. I wanted to give you stuff.
Starting point is 00:19:57 A Heartbones Dirty Dancing shirt. That's beautiful. Yeah, Heartbones does a set where it's all entirely songs from Dirty Dancing. Yeah. We've retired that, but we still do Hungry Eyes because we have to. You have to. I'm not going to just bring it out.
Starting point is 00:20:15 It's a wrapped up. It's a shot glass that says keep Austin weird because obviously. We are weird. A Texas Doug license plate Whoa That was my girlfriend's suggestion He stole that off of my old car
Starting point is 00:20:33 When I lived here Your tiny tiny car Sorry and I went way Way over so I got a Ten dollar Taco Bell gift card Here Plus a hundred pesos Oh shit So I got a $10 Taco Bell gift card here. Plus 100 pesos. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:20:49 100 goddamn pesos. Oh, that's good. Crazy. We have that bag, too, though. That's going to come in handy. Put all that stuff back in there. Oops, I dropped the heart bones patch. What do you got for us, Doug?
Starting point is 00:21:05 So, I got some merch from my favorite local Austin band, the legendary Riverboat Gamblers. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. You guys know them? Woo. They're amazing. I got a couple albums and an EP.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Two on vinyl, an EP on vinyl, a full album on vinyl, and one on CD. And then I've also got my first album on compact disc, because I know all the kids are playing that these days. It's called Fart Safari. And then I've got a digital download card of my latest album, Fart Safari 2 Fart Harder so and I'll be recording my third album Fart Safari 3 Fart Hard with a Vengeance here in Austin next fall so. Are you eventually gonna do a good day to fart hard? Oh yeah for sure. I don't know what to do after five though to fart hard? Oh, yeah. For sure. I don't know what to do after five, though, right? There's just five?
Starting point is 00:22:08 Yeah, what was four called? Oh, live free or fart hard. Yeah. I think they're doing prequels soon, though, right? Oh, maybe, yeah. Prequels? I think, yeah, it's called Farted Hard. That's awful to do a prequel to Die Hard
Starting point is 00:22:26 because the idea, like, that would mean in the first Die Hard, he's like, I've been in worse. I've been in situations like this before. It's cool. Yeah, he's like seven. And who plays the young Bruce Willis, or hopefully just he does, try to play himself younger.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Yeah, They made Sam Jackson all young for Captain Marvel. So anything can happen at this point. He must have been working out for weeks to do that. Captain Marvel? Weeks. Just a couple weeks.
Starting point is 00:23:02 What do you have for the bag, Owen? I found this in that alleyway you were talking about. Behind the Alamo. What is this giant garbage bag full of? It's a bucket of piss. I don't know why they chose to piss in a bag, but I appreciate the efficiency. I usually try really hard for stuff
Starting point is 00:23:27 when I come on your show, Doug, of good gifts and everything, good prizes. And I was going to bring actually a Blu-ray of my movie Bloodfest, but I know you all own it already. So that's not true. I couldn't find it. But then I was like, oh, I've got something perfect.
Starting point is 00:23:45 And so last night, Doug and I, as Doug was mentioning, we did Leprechaun Origins. And for those of you who don't know, which I'm presuming is all of you, Origins doesn't really have a traditional leprechaun. It has like a little monster leprechaun. He's like a green little golem kind of puppet. Not the best made puppet that kind of runs around
Starting point is 00:24:02 and eats people. Can you do me a huge favor? Yeah. Put that microphone down. Yeah. Go up into the lobby and put that on and then run down the stairs with it on. This is a podcast. I know.
Starting point is 00:24:21 That's why I love it. This is for a gag. I want the people in the room to have a special experience. All the listeners. I mean, you can just put it on right there, but
Starting point is 00:24:35 because last night we're doing the leprechauns thing. Was that like a weird kind of move because he's dressed too nice? Well, he's got a nice jacket and a tie and everything, so it might not match very well. But he also went out the back way. He didn't go up to the lobby, so we'll see what happens. But when he had this thing on last night
Starting point is 00:25:00 and was running amongst people in the theater, it was simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. Because he was knocking glasses over and shit. I came, like, three times. I thought it was hot. You were there last night? No. You're just telling us what you did instead?
Starting point is 00:25:26 That's what I'll be doing later, too. Now I'm wondering what he's up to, because it shouldn't take this long. He might have just left. He might just be mad at me. He just took off. This is really suspenseful now.
Starting point is 00:25:44 He's squeezing in. Maybe he got lost and he's going to run out in front of the screen at Pet Sematary. Yeah. There's not enough of that, like, 50s, you know, horror movie thing where, like, the Tingler and stuff, like, and where they, like, hire people to dress up and then run through the crowd. You know, that sort of shit's terrifying. That's what I'm saying, dude.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Do you have a microphone? That was loud and clear. That's what he was doing last night, Doug. He was terrifying all of us. Is that God? Although, again, the listeners probably couldn't hear him, but... He's dead.
Starting point is 00:26:33 For sure. I mean, now it's going to be really interesting because I'm thinking maybe he's taking that whole suit off. Wait! Oh! Oh, my God! Oh Oh my god Oh my god What
Starting point is 00:26:53 I'm a wee green lad From out of town Get that lady Get that lady right there Get her Oh my god Oh no If only you could see this.
Starting point is 00:27:05 I hope you don't edit any of this for the podcast either, because... We are reenacting Pet Sematary. Yeah. And he also can't see very well. Yeah. So that's why he was knocking glasses over last night. It's because he can't tell where he's going. I mean, I'd be sad, but if he broke his neck, I'd also laugh
Starting point is 00:27:25 really hard. Those fucking weird hands. It's a cow mask turned inside out and drawn on. There you go. There's the steps. Over here. Over here. Good God.
Starting point is 00:27:48 All right. He's back up on the stage. Oh shit. Don't hit my table. So that's got some, that's got a prize bag is an interpretive dance by a weird cow monster. He did it. There he is.
Starting point is 00:27:59 It's really Owen. Everybody. Oh, How's it going, everybody? Ah. Ah. Oh, Jesus, God. Well, you put the feet on and everything. I did. You know, most people could not see your feet when you were... I know.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Had no idea. I don't know why I started with the feet, but I forgot to put breath holes in the trash bag. And I was having a lot of trouble breathing or seeing anything.
Starting point is 00:28:35 That's how children die all the time. Pet cemetery again. This is why Leprechaun Origins was the least successful Halloween costume of 2018. Man, you have shit all over your face.
Starting point is 00:28:50 I don't know what is that. That's just his face. Oh. So, anyway, my prize today is the handmade but amazingly accurate mask and arms of leprechaun origins one of a kind. Now containing both my sweat
Starting point is 00:29:16 and vomit. People are running from the theater after that. Or they're like, wait, this really isn't Pet Sematary. And my cum. Remember? I'm not going to put that in the prize bag. They can carry that separately.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Whoever the lucky winner is on this show tonight. There are people shaking their heads going, not me. Now, since you went to all that trouble for me, Owen, I appreciate it. Sure, don't.
Starting point is 00:29:53 So I'm going to take a moment to talk to you about your latest project, because you have a new movie that we shall be able to see soon. That's right, I do. Thank you. I have a new horror movie that I filmed called Mercy Black,
Starting point is 00:30:08 and it is about to come out. It's actually going to be available out... Is something coming out of you? It would be amazing if a leprechaun came out of my mouth. Anyway, Mercy Black is coming out really, really soon for reasons I don't quite fully understand. I can't tell you exactly when or exactly who's distributing the film,
Starting point is 00:30:32 but I made the movie with Blumhouse, and it's a very, very scary movie, and it involves children hurting children and monsters. So I think you're going to love the fuck out of it. And I can't wait for you guys to see it. I'm actually really proud of this one.
Starting point is 00:30:47 All right, well, once you have... Once he has more information, he'll tweet about it, I'll tweet about it, and we'll let you know where to see it. We'll all tweet about it, let's promise, right? We'll all watch the movie and tweet about it. There's some good tweeters here today because a lot of these people are here
Starting point is 00:31:03 because I just tweeted, hey, let me know if you want to come and We made a list and I think I think they all got in that's the exact sentence. I used to meet my wife Let me know if you want to come The mic drop is reserved for successful jokes. Well, but it was like a droopy mic drop. Yeah, it was really just... Okay, quick question for each of you
Starting point is 00:31:39 before we get to the game portion of the show. We'll start with you, Sean, because Owen needs to take a drink and a breath. Wow, and you left your tie on through that whole thing, too. I left my jacket in the lobby. It's probably gone. It's a nice jacket.
Starting point is 00:31:56 There's no way it's going to be there when the show's over. Things I do for you. Sean? Yes? What was the last movie you saw? Oh, man. Was it here at South By? No, I didn't see anything.
Starting point is 00:32:09 I'm trying to think. I didn't even think about this. Can you skip me for a second so I can remember? It's a tough question. I know. When somebody says to me, what did you have for breakfast
Starting point is 00:32:18 this morning? Exactly. Give me a minute. Can you give me three minutes? Yeah. Give me a three minute egg. Three minute egg. Doug, what was the last movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:32:28 I saw Captain Marvel. Yes! Yeah. I haven't seen it yet. Do you have positive feelings? It was Captain Marvel-ing! Yay! See, that's how it's done, Owen.
Starting point is 00:32:44 You gotta say something amazing like that Fucking jam So good I just kill myself right after that Good night Oh don't Oh sorry No you'll ruin it for all the Dougs
Starting point is 00:32:57 No it was great Everybody would be sad about our name I'm glad you liked it And I can't wait to see it. I just did a film festival, so I'm seeing film festival films. It's action-packed, and the comedy's really good, and I'm excited about, like... And young Sam Jackson didn't bother you?
Starting point is 00:33:18 It was weird that they made him out to be, like, four. Like, he's four years old in the movie. What? Yeah yeah it's like that that and yeah it's it was like a little freakish but it's pretty obvious that it's you know it was a four-year-old Nick Fury's just hanging out yeah he's like the tag along Captain Marvel so I heard they never say the words Captain Marvel in the entire movie? I yelled it throughout. Okay, good. Yeah, at the arc. Yeah, because that's the way I'm
Starting point is 00:33:47 going to be. It seems remiss in not mentioning it. I just have it once in a while. This is Captain Marvel, if you're wondering what movie we're watching. It drove me nuts. I was just like, Captain Marvel! I can't think of it! Say your name! Sorry, that was very loud
Starting point is 00:34:05 are there scenes at the end do we have to sit through the credits yeah some good ones that's all I need to hear I hate it when they every once in a while they won't have a scene or it'll be a terrible scene doesn't mean anything
Starting point is 00:34:19 it's worth waiting for you're stuck watching all those people who worked so very hard to make a movie and their one moment of glory. Yeah, that's a waste of time for sure. Thank you. I'm talking about... I'm talking about like 15-minute credit sequences. At the end of Venom, they just showed a scene from Spider-Verse,
Starting point is 00:34:44 Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse, which is great. I love that movie, but I didn't need to see a whole scene from it at the end of a movie that barely had anything to do with. Yeah, that's true. I just wish there was a scene from Meatballs or something even more random. You should check this out, too. Casablanca. I saw a movie today
Starting point is 00:35:09 called the Peanut Butter Falcon and yeah people here at this festival are loving it. It was really entertaining. I enjoyed it a great deal but at the end of the screening today they were starting the Q&A. They like start the Q&A sometimes while the credits are still
Starting point is 00:35:25 rolling. And then a post-credit scene came on, but the sound was off. But then the directors also go, there's two directors on stage, they're just like, oh, don't, just disregard this. We're going to cut this. We're going to cut this bonus scene that we threw on at the end.
Starting point is 00:35:42 But you guys got to see it. And then they described what was happening in the scene. Sounds funny to me. I would leave it in if I were them. Because that'd be weird just to have a regular narrative film that's not part of any series. But then they have to go to every theater and do that fake Q&A every time where the sound is off.
Starting point is 00:36:01 And it's like a whole production. That did make it more funny. One of the directors of that movie was barefoot on stage and his like five year old daughter came up on stage and was dancing around while he's trying
Starting point is 00:36:09 to answer questions. It was, the movie and the people who made it were very entertaining. Awesome. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:36:15 I had a nice time. Shia LaBeouf's in it. Oh yeah. He's the star of it and I couldn't be happier about it. And a young Samuel L. Jackson. He's in all the movies now.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Yeah, he's 12 in this one. Up and coming. He's got a career ahead of him. Owen, what was the last movie you saw? Well, funny enough, I saw a movie. We saw a movie last night, of course, Leprechaun Origins. It would have been the last movie I've seen. And what a way to die if that was the last movie I watched.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Oh, no, yeah. Let's skip to the one before that. Yeah. Well, no, no, I saw a movie after. I got home pretty late. But then I was like, I got Shudder. Do you guys know what Shudder is? Like horror?
Starting point is 00:36:54 Yeah. Yeah, Shudder's awesome. Thanks for bringing it up. It's the sponsor of this episode. Oh, well, hot damn. So I love Shudder. So I got home last night and I watched Let's Scare Jessica to Death. Oh, that's a classic.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Fucking great. And I'd never seen it. It came out in 71. It's a really weird kind of mental weird movie and vampires and country living and New York sex. And it's great stuff. Lots of 70s type sex style. And I watched that last night. Big Bushes?
Starting point is 00:37:26 You mean the presidents? Like Barbara Bush had a Big Bush in it? Rest in peace. Rest in peace, Barbara's Bush. I keep wanting to make a joke, but they're just horrible. Actually, there was no pubic hair, I got to say. I was like, for a 70s movie, there was very little pubic hair. Nope. I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:37:55 You mean you just didn't see people naked from the waist down? They weren't shaved. Well, I don't know. That wasn't a thing yet. Yeah, that's true. It wasn't a thing yet. They just didn't show it It wasn't like Don't Look Now
Starting point is 00:38:07 Which has like So much pubic hair It's just It's like top billing It's weird that we're Sitting around making A bunch of bush jokes And you're acting all like
Starting point is 00:38:17 That's gross And then you keep saying Pubic hair To me that is so much More disgusting Than something fun And fluffy like a bush. There's nothing...
Starting point is 00:38:27 At least say pubes. That's kind of cute. That's inaccurate. I'll call them what God called them. Pubic hair. Love nest. It seems like your education wasn't good. It seems like you might have gone to pubic school.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Love nest. It seems like your education wasn't good. It seems like you might have gone to pubic school. We've got to play some games. What's your answer, Sean? I just remembered the last thing I watched was Skyscraper, and I fell asleep halfway through. Because you're like, where's that damn rampaging monkey? When is he going to show up?
Starting point is 00:39:04 All right. Thanks for your answers to show up? Alright. Thanks for your answers. Thanks for your honesty and your complexity. But now I have to say, let the games begin! Gentlemen, we got some name tags out there for you to choose from. Some people will try to hand you their badge, but unless it's
Starting point is 00:39:22 platinum, don't take it. It's not going to get you in anything, especially at this point. But, yeah, go ahead and grab your name tags while you do that. We'll do this. Go into that sponsor I mentioned earlier. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Today's show is brought to you in part by our friends over at Shudder. Shudder is a premium streaming video service, super serving fans of all degrees with the best selection of horror and thrillers. Shudder has the largest, fastest growing, human curated selection of thrilling
Starting point is 00:39:56 and dangerous entertainment. Shudder also has their own original podcast, like She Kids, the 10 episode nonfiction podcast hosted by Adrienne Barbeau, which released on March 1st, just in time for Women's History Month. This show explores everything from the beginnings of horror, where women were kill fodder, to the stand-alone modern women of horror who broke the mold and the dynamic actresses from those films.
Starting point is 00:40:26 These unique and richly interesting conversations will take us from Babe in the Woods to Badass with a Shotgun in a way that only the women in horror, women who love horror, and women who examine horror can provide. Guests include Barbara Crampton,
Starting point is 00:40:42 Dee Wallace, Jennifer Tilly, and many more. To check out this show or to experience Oh, we're back. Hey, guys. Great job. promo code DLM for a free 30-day trial. Back to the show. Oh, we're back. Hey, guys. Great job. Let's see what you picked, starting with you, Sean. I went Hereditary because the artwork is just fantastic. It's a classic one.
Starting point is 00:41:17 It's really, Jeff Tate's really beautiful as the little girl in Hereditary. And they got Dale Cheeseman and me and Chris Cubis on there and it's really well done. And it's autographed by you. Yeah. No, he's already, his name tag's already been chosen. Did you win? Oh man, I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:41:35 You didn't win? See, I want to bring it home for you. He's going to bring it home for you too. I think that's the goal here. You're going to win that disgusting leprechaun costume. Yeah. But not unless Doug has something to say about it You picked one of the creative ones that I enjoyed Out there in the audience, Doug, tell us about it
Starting point is 00:41:52 It's Army of Darknessa So And that's one of the best films ever God I love it, I love the way you think It's very textured It's very soft it makes me feel safe
Starting point is 00:42:06 feel it seriously people named Doug like textures we're very wow really serious into touching things
Starting point is 00:42:16 yeah okay I like it when you guys touch my sign yeah take it off take it off your lap what do you got there, Owen?
Starting point is 00:42:27 I believe it's a softball And it says a number of different things on it Should I just read all of it? I guess Okay, because it says positive push Oh, this is a I know what this is And then the second part too?
Starting point is 00:42:42 Yeah You got it Yeah Yeah These are our dear departed friend Brody Stevens, the comedian And then the second part too? Yeah. You got it. Yeah. Yeah. These are our dear departed friend, Brody Stevens, the comedian. Those were some of his catchphrases. And he loved baseball.
Starting point is 00:42:55 So now I'm going to start crying. That's an awesome thing to do. That's rad. And what's the name on it? There is no name on it. That's fine. So it's just a ball you happen to have with Brody Stevens' exclamations on it? What's your name, though? Katie.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Katie. That's good. That's a good one. We'll remember. Well, now she has to win. Katie, that's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Good job. Just put your name on it next time. Or you're trying to preserve it as a, you don't want your name on there. Yeah. Okay. You did the right thing. Let's start with a game that I like to play whenever I'm in Austin because that's where I learned to play it. It's Alex's
Starting point is 00:43:37 Jason and Deb's IMDb game. 101X. By the way, I will be podcasting with Jason and Deb from the Kung Fu Saloon here in Austin on 6th Street tomorrow from about 1 to 3 o'clock for our annual I Get Together With Them
Starting point is 00:43:56 Every St. Patrick's Day and Drink Too Much Too Early So I know the listeners are not going to hear this in time to make it out, but we'll see some of you guys there this game is based off of the IMDB site I'm going to name
Starting point is 00:44:14 what's that it's a site those initials stand for I am Doug Benson and it's a site that I created so that people can find out all the things I know about movies. That's
Starting point is 00:44:30 very helpful. So there's a lot of things are missing, a lot of information is incorrect. But on the IMDb page, they'll say best known for, for each performer, each actor or actress, they'll say best known for and list four things. So I'm going to start
Starting point is 00:44:46 naming four things that are on somebody's IMDb page. Buzz in with your own name when you think you know it and then guess and if you're right, you get points. But if you're wrong, it's negative one points. You might want to listen for a few titles If I say Doug, you're going to
Starting point is 00:45:02 know it's not you, right? Before jumping in there. Yeah, I'm glad you said that, because if you jump in with Doug, I might just blurt out the answer. So I don't want anybody to get confused. So that's good. And yeah, then once you do, like some people
Starting point is 00:45:21 blurt out their name and the answer all at once, but just in case someone else is, you know, neck and neck with you on yelling names. Doug. What's happening? You're both wrong. A negative one for each of you. I win. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:38 You didn't win yet. Oh. All right, let me get a pen out, because I really am going to keep track. This first. Oh, and you get bonus points for naming additional movies that are in their top four, but that's after you get in and get it right. Yeah, get to that later.
Starting point is 00:45:57 This is weird, too, right? IMDb is kind of weird about this. Oh, yeah, the algorithm is, nobody knows what the fuck is up. Plus, if you get IM up. Plus, people can, if you get IMDB Pro, you can go in and change your own
Starting point is 00:46:08 top four. What you're known for? Top four, yeah. You can? Yeah. So sometimes you're like, oh, yeah, Nicolas Cage
Starting point is 00:46:14 picked those four. Yeah. Or Harmar Superstar known for Top Gun. Oh, no, you have to be in it. You can't just pick things you're known for that you're not in.
Starting point is 00:46:26 I think they do double check on that. He was in that volleyball scene. Yeah, I remember. I was actually everybody in the volleyball scene. You were so good. Pre-Eddie Murphy, you know. Okay, so here we go. The first movie that this person is supposedly best known for
Starting point is 00:46:47 is a film called Nebraska. Then the second title is The Hateful Eight. Then we've got... Sean. Sean, what do you think? Bruce Dern? That is correct. Fuck. I was going to think Bruce Dern That is correct I was going to say Laura Dern
Starting point is 00:47:09 What a weird guess that would have been So close and yet so far So that's 1.4 Sean And now Sean you get to guess Two more movies that you think are in Bruce Dern The great Bruce Dern the great Bruce Dern's top four
Starting point is 00:47:28 God now I'm like blanking I was so surprised that I remembered his name just off the top of my head right now I hope he's listening I haven't been thinking yet today Skyscraper the land before time you know he The Land Before Time. You know, he would improve either of those.
Starting point is 00:47:52 That's negative two. We don't take away on these. I'm in the bonus layer. These are just bonus points. I'm basically in the South by Southwest gifting suite of the level of the game. But of course course he was in the Tom Hanks classic, The Burbs.
Starting point is 00:48:08 And he was in a little thing called Django Unchained. Yes. From the same director as Hateful Eight. Spielberg. Mm-hmm. All right. So you only got one point on that, Sean, but that's one more point than these other
Starting point is 00:48:24 two guys have. Next round. The first title is a motion picture called Sideways. Oh, also, a theme might emerge, but I'm stressing might. Because I don't think you guys will recognize the theme, but I know about it. Some people in the audience will get it, so don't yell out when you figure it out.
Starting point is 00:48:48 So the first movie, Sideways. Lots of actors in that, so I see why you're waiting. Second movie, Spider-Man 3. Oh. Mr. Marr. What? Sean. Sean. You tried to call his name?
Starting point is 00:49:04 Whose name did you... Sean? Thomas Hayden Church. That's right. Thomas Hayden Church. That's correct. Dang it. Why did you say someone else's name? Yeah, did you just want me to go?
Starting point is 00:49:15 I thought it was funny. Oh, yeah. But then I got it right, so that was perfect. But you were picturing him in your head, and you just couldn't think of that name? Yeah, I thought it was Thomas Hayden Churchfield. I don't know. Church Hill. It's kind of not fair if the guy has three
Starting point is 00:49:30 names in one. Yeah, and they're all first names, right? Church? Yeah. Church. So now you get two more stabs at other as I like to call them, THC, other films that he's done.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Does it have to be films, or can I say wings? You could say wings. You could say divorce. I wouldn't recommend either. Oh, okay. Saying them, not watching them. Watch them all you want. I honestly only know that he was in Wings.
Starting point is 00:50:01 I'm trying to think of like. That was his big start, yeah. God. He was in Divorce. in Wings. I'm trying to think of like... That was his big start, yeah. God. He was in Divorce. And Wings. He was in Love Once. Can we just do our favorite quotes of Lowell from Wings? Oh, his name is Lowell.
Starting point is 00:50:19 That's good. Wow. That'll be the one thing I remember. Yeah. I just like that the audience knows you know something. Carlito's wings. Are you done guessing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Okay. I mean, you never would have got these. I didn't even know he's in the last one. He's in Tombstone. What? He's in that? Yeah. He's in that mustache parade.
Starting point is 00:50:42 And then he is also in Easy A. Really? Oh, yeah, okay. I didn't remember that. I didn't either. Yeah, all right. But you got two points now, Sean. Hey, guys.
Starting point is 00:50:53 This game is yours to lose. This is humiliating. Come on, Owen and Doug. Do you want to test your buzzers real quick? Owen. Sean. Mr. Marr. Stop doing it wrong.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Ah! That would be hilarious if somebody on a game show just kept reaching over and pressing the person next to them as buzzer. I think we did that to each other sometimes on At Midnight. Okay. Third round starts with
Starting point is 00:51:22 Fifty Shades of Grey. If anybody can name more than two actors from that movie, I'd be surprised. The second title, The Social Network. Oh, Owen. Sean. What do you got, Owen? White people fucking.
Starting point is 00:51:42 And I think I know the other four movies that they're known for I don't know you really want a negative one for what you just said wow was it really worth it yeah where's your pot of points now leprechaun
Starting point is 00:52:04 alright Yeah, where's your pot of points now, Leprechaun? All right. Sean did buzz in. Dakota Johnson. That's right. Okay. I did not expect you to run away with this. I thought I brought you some competitors.
Starting point is 00:52:23 Well, then I'm really terrible at the next level, so... What do you think about other movies that Dakota Johnson's been in? Batteries Not Included. No. Big Fat Liar? No. With Frankie Muniz and Paul Giamatti.
Starting point is 00:52:42 I was hoping it was Paul Giamatti the last question so I could at least talk about Big Fat Liar for a second. He's a blue meanie in that. Yeah, he's painted blue. They really went for it with her. Her next two are Fifty Shades Freed and Fifty Shades Darker. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:59 I actually forgot what they were called. They really reduced her to just the Fifty Shades lady plus one scene with Justin Timberlake. Wait, what was the last one? Fifty Shades what? Blacker. They really reduced her to just the Fifty Shades lady plus one scene with Justin Timberlake in the social network. Wait, what was the last one? Fifty Shades what? Blacker? Darker.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Darker. Darker. I thought you said, I heard Fifty Shades. Fifty Shades Decker. That's what I meant to say. They did a tie-in with a buzzsaw.
Starting point is 00:53:18 I heard Fifty Shades Dunkirk. Oh, that's a great idea. All those dudes fucking the whole movie. Or not fucking, trying to write up contracts for their sex life that they can't agree on. That could be in there. There's a lot of negotiation. You know what?
Starting point is 00:53:38 I'm going to call this game because this is stupid. Yeah, that's a runaway. Sean won that game, everybody. I'm a superstar! Woo! Woo! All right. Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:53:52 This next game, this game, you guys, I'm so excited to get to do it again here in Austin. We did it the other night. It is, I can't tell you how many responses I've gotten about this game on Twitter. I can't tell you how many responses I've gotten about this game on Twitter. I can't tell you, zero.
Starting point is 00:54:07 But this is a game I enjoy very much. It's called Goo Goo or Gaga. See, people love it. They're just not letting me know. They're not bothering with social media. They're just letting me and my gut know that this is a great game. I'm going to name...
Starting point is 00:54:28 Sean, you get to go first. We're going to go to you guys one at a time. Okay. Sean, I'm going to name a movie, and you tell me if it's got a song on the soundtrack by the Goo Goo Dolls or Lady Gaga. This is awesome. Or neither.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Oh, what? There's a neither option? There's a neither option. Because their songs are not in every movie, as it turns out. Is it even a film if there isn't a Goo Goo Dolls or Gaga song in it? That's the question. I don't know why they would bother to not have a Goo Goo or a Gaga. Is there a both?
Starting point is 00:55:00 No. No, there's not a both. Not that I'm aware of. Not yet. I've done a lot of research into this. By the way, Mercy Black coming out soon. Soundtrack available. Do you have hit tunes on the soundtrack?
Starting point is 00:55:13 Hit? No, not hit. Songs? Songs by known artists? Or are you breaking artists with this? Known artists. Known artists. Can you name one?
Starting point is 00:55:23 Bob Schneider. Bob Schneider has a song on there. Bill Pasolacqua. Yeah. Are these like Austin musicians or something? Bob Schneider.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Bob Schneider's an Austin treasure. Yeah. We love Bob. Well, that's what I figured because they all clap for him. Yeah, yeah. The second one,
Starting point is 00:55:40 not so much. Bill Pasolacqua used to be a treasure. He moved to Indiana for the music scene. And he stopped being a treasure? He stopped being a treasure there. Former treasure, now in Indiana.
Starting point is 00:55:51 He's a brilliant folk artist. He's one of my favorites. He's awesome. He's no Riverboat Gamblers, though. Am I right? Woo! Oh, yes, he is. So you've got to pay attention on this one,
Starting point is 00:56:03 because if Sean gets it wrong Then it goes to Doug He's gotta narrow it down to two options And if he gets it wrong Owen it's a gimme for you But I've seen weirder things happen I'm so confused You'll be fine
Starting point is 00:56:19 Just be quiet for a little bit Okay When I say your name, light up. Okay. Sean, the motion picture, not to be confused with the band or the character from The Office, Creed.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Goo Goo, Gaga, or neither? I'm going to go Gaga. I'm going Gaga. That's the calmest anybody's ever said that sentence. I'm going to go Gaga. I'm going to go Gaga. Incorrect. Doug?
Starting point is 00:57:01 Damn it. Was it Goo Goo or neither? I'm going to go neither. The motion picture Creed. Neither. That is correct. Woo! Doug was it Goo Goo or Neither I'm gonna go Neither the motion picture Creed Neither that is correct on the board
Starting point is 00:57:10 I thought he pumped himself up to Lady Gaga like the whole movie I wasn't even listening the whole time sometimes I just hear music that I want to you make your own soundtrack Owen gets this next one I have to start with this one? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:26 So you get three things to choose from. The motion picture Batman Forever. Which, first of all, too long. Okay. I am going to go pretty solid, Goo Goo. You're going solid, Goo Goo? Yeah. Incorrect.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Oh. Sean? Neither. Neither is right. All right, Sean is on the board over here. That would be insane if Lady Gaga was on there somehow. That would be great. She was like four.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Yeah. With Nick Fury. It's be great. She was like four. Yeah. With Nick Fury. It's like Bugsy. Doug, the film is called In the Land of Women. What do you think? I have no idea what that movie is. I don't mind telling you because your competitors will hear as well.
Starting point is 00:58:27 Okay. It stars that one guy from... It stars that one guy from the OC and some girl. Adam Brody? And Meg Ryan. Yeah, Adam Brody. And Meg Ryan.
Starting point is 00:58:42 So that probably isn't much help. God bless for I Am Doug Benson. At least you know the genre kind of. I'm going to say Goo Goo. You're going Goo Goo? A Noo Noo. Ah! As soon as you said the OC guy,
Starting point is 00:58:58 I was like, oh, for sure, Goo Goo. No? What do you think, Owen? What was the movie again? It's called In the Land of Women. I'm going to say Gaga. I'm going to say Nana. I have a guess.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Sean? It would be Neither. That is correct. No matter how you say it. Neither. All right. matter how you say it. Neither. All right. Back to you, Doug. It's for you, Terry.
Starting point is 00:59:32 The movie is called Bumblebee. I'm going to go Gaga. Nope. God damn it! Oh, fuck, it was in the 80s. Oh, what? Oh, it's a period piece? No, I'm giving it away.
Starting point is 00:59:57 I'm going to, for this particular historical drama, I will guess Gugu. No. I'm seeing a pattern emerging in the answers here. What do you think it is, Tom? I think it might be Neither Again. Okay, that is correct. For the fourth time in a row.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Wait, do none of these movies, do any of them have Goo Goo or Gaga? Listen, I have the soundtrack for every one of these movies. But sometimes I get them all mixed up in my head. Owen. Man of Steel. Neither? That's correct.
Starting point is 01:00:39 There we go. Now here comes the trickery. I feel a mischief about. I was ready for that moment when Superman went to high school and was singing He Was Only a Freshman. He does a dance routine to... Sean, what did you hear when you watched that movie? Man of Steel?
Starting point is 01:01:04 Yeah. Just my entire catalog. Alright, Sean. Steel Magnolia's soundtrack, actually. Sorry. Yes. Love, comma, Simon.
Starting point is 01:01:21 I could see there being Gaga in that film, so I'm going to say Gaga in that film, so I'm going to say Gaga. That is correct. Good God. Sean! On fire.
Starting point is 01:01:33 You broke the chain right there, you guys. I knew mischief was afoot. A marching band plays bad romance. In that movie. Also in The Other Sister. Yeah. We're back to you. We're back to you here, Owen.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Oh. Oh, and I skipped Doug? Oh, yeah. I did? I skip him every time? Man, I didn't even fucking know. Well, it depends. You're doing great, Doug.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Yeah. Both of you. All right, Doug. The movie's called Freddy's Dead, The Final Nightmare. Neither. Nope.
Starting point is 01:02:24 God damn it! What? Is it coming to me right now? Because I just watched this movie four nights ago. I'm not proud of it. And so you know the answer? Yeah. What is it?
Starting point is 01:02:39 Goo Goo. That's right. Wow. Wow. That's right Wow Why is there a Goo Goo Dolls song In a Freddy Krueger movie? Why did you have to check your paper? Because for the same reason I'm asking you Why is there a Goo Goo Dolls song?
Starting point is 01:02:57 It's because you get a glimpse into Freddy's actual home life And when he goes to unwind At the end of the day He really likes to jam out to some Goo Goo Dolls and just crack open a beer with just his claw hand. He just claws open a beer. In a nice warm bath.
Starting point is 01:03:14 He plays guitar, you know. Just a few songs, a few chords. Let's see if Doug, I got it. Sean wins this game. What? I've gotten two correct. Yeah, he got four. Oh. Let's see if Doug... Sean wins this game. What? I've gotten two correct. Yeah, he got four.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Oh. But just for fun, Doug, what do you think the answer is for Son-in-Law? It's a Pauly Shore movie. Oh, neither. It's Goo Goo. It's Goo Goo. I was going to say, man. I thought that was too early.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Do you know Pauly Shore? Jesus. What do you think? Goo Goo Doll's been around forever. I thought that was too early. You know Pauly Shore. What do you think? Goo Goo Dolls has been around forever. I mean, that's the main thing is Goo Goo Dolls and Gaga have hardly crossed over. They were both in different times. Yeah, I thought they were like 97. I thought Son-in-Law was like 91 or something.
Starting point is 01:03:57 And what about Tommy Boy? Tommy Boy. Goo Goo Dolls. Yeah. Thank God, finally. Goo Goo! God, the Goo Goo Dolls made a lot of money I think so
Starting point is 01:04:08 Now they're all dead It's fucked up Well they age backwards That's the thing They're like Jonathan Winter Did only one Gugu write the songs though? Because that's where the money's at, right? Publishing
Starting point is 01:04:24 Yeah, I think it was Goo One. Gross. That was Goo Two, actually. That's a gross expression. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Let's decide this thing. Let's come out of here with a winner. So Sean has won both games, though, right?
Starting point is 01:04:43 Yeah. Yeah, so we're dead ducks. You never know how this might go. You got a lifeline. The person whose name tag you chose you get to go to once. So Owen can go to Katie. Katie. And Sean can go to Terry and Doug
Starting point is 01:04:57 can go to Vanessa? What was it? Vanessa. Sort of for Vanessa. Okay? It was short for Vanessa? Okay, cool. Doug, you left me hanging there. Oh, sorry. Goo Goo Dolls.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Yeah, I was thinking Goo Goo Dolls in my head. All right, so Sean gets to go first again, but this time, legit, I'm going to do this right this time. We'll switch the order around, so it's going to go, each round, it's going to go Sean again, but this time, legit, I'm going to do this right this time. We'll switch the order around. So it's going to go, each round, it's going to go Sean, Owen? I want to play two, though. So it's going to go Sean, me, Owen, and then
Starting point is 01:05:35 Doug. Good. Yeah. It'd be really funny if you forgot my name. Just read that license plate, man. I mean, I've probably told you this before But you don't look like a Doug to me Oh wow I don't think anybody does Remember George Clooney on ER
Starting point is 01:05:53 Everybody would call him Doug That made no sense It was a compliment that you don't look like a Doug I just think it's some You know guy in Canada. No offense to Canada, but that name Doug seems to come up a lot in kids in the hall sketches. I think they say Doug up there. Doug?
Starting point is 01:06:14 Yeah, they say Doug. Okay. I'll just say it right now. Fuck Canada. No! Wow. Wow. I like Canada.
Starting point is 01:06:22 Good night. It's my favorite country. Sorry like Canada. Good night. It's my favorite country. Sorry, America. Sorry, US. Let's legalize this shit. Maybe you'll contend. My favorite country is Texas. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Don't buy into that! Wow. Lemmings! I get a point for that, right? He had so many guns held up. Here, give him one of these, though. You can have one of those. It's a pretty one.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Put that on. Oh, he's going to shoot it into the crowd. Immediately rejected. He's going deep. He's going deep. Oh, he's going to shoot it into the crowd. Immediately rejected. He's going deep. He's going deep. Oh, yeah. Nice. Why did he land in men's laps for some reason?
Starting point is 01:07:14 I haven't been able to get one out to the ladies. Oh, that's nice. Oh, there you go. Oh, you're the man. There's three women that came near, and then one dude gets it. It's worse than a baseball game. That's a guy, too.
Starting point is 01:07:39 I'm all out. Throw them back up here. I want to do it again. Get them all back up here. All right, so for last man's sand... Oh, wow. Oh! I didn't even want it.
Starting point is 01:07:50 People are throwing them back. What? They all came back. Nobody wants any of them. Look at this! This isn't even one that I threw. This is made out of leather or something. Wow!
Starting point is 01:08:02 Somebody just threw some spaghetti up here. Oh, God! There's a used condom. What? Wow! Somebody just threw some spaghetti up here. Oh, God! There's a used condom. What? That just made me love humanity again. That was... Wow. It's just baby steps back, you know? Oh, this is for me, this one?
Starting point is 01:08:19 Okay. It's got like a button snap on it. Now she'll know wherever you go. Is that that new leather acid that they're passing around? It reminds me of when I had one of these on my ankle. It's like running man. I couldn't leave the house. All right.
Starting point is 01:08:46 So, like I said, we'll start with Sean. Oh, we need to get some suggestions for names to play because I don't want to decide because I'm going to play. Where is... I don't know how to pronounce his Twitter name. W-R-I-T-Y-S-O-N? Writison? Where are you at?
Starting point is 01:09:07 Right here Is that like Writison W-R-I-T-Y-S-O-N Is that like karate kid? Is it like right and son? And he was very clear with me I'll be there and I'll have a great name There's probably some guy in Pet Sematary right now
Starting point is 01:09:24 Michael Douglas He's probably some guy in Pet Sematary right now. Michael Douglas! He's probably the guy who left after the whole alien dance down the leprechaun entrance. Stole my coat. That reminds me, though. Bruce Dern, Thomas Hayden Church, Dakota Johnson, and then the next round was going to be Shia LaBeouf. They're all in the movie I saw today, Peanut Butter Falcon. Wow.
Starting point is 01:09:48 Yeah, it's got a great cast. That's a great cast. And Jon Bernthal's in it as well. I thought it was Peanut Butter Wolf. No? No. No, it's Falcon. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:57 I don't know. Peanut Butter... I thought it was the Peanut Butter... You're thinking of Peter and the Wolf. I thought it was Jif Peanut Butter. Jiffy is a Jif Peanut Butter. Jiffy? Is it Jif? Which universe are we in? Maybe it was... Yeah, I mean, maybe it was...
Starting point is 01:10:11 I thought it was wolfing down Peanut Butter. Like a falcon. That old expression. I don't know why that guy's not here. What a shame. Oh! Where's Matt Treenor? T-R-E-A-N-O-R.
Starting point is 01:10:28 Hey, there you are. The guy with the Pet Sematary book. Yeah, Pet Sematary. See, I would have gone Matt Cemetery. That's just me, though. Are you going to throw one of these back if I give you one? Oh, I like that. He held up the goalposts. Matt Cemetery. That's just me, though. Are you going to throw one of these back if I give you one? All right. Oh, I like that.
Starting point is 01:10:46 He held up the goalposts. Oh, yeah. It's just going to hit him right in the face. Oh. Hey, a lady got it. Yay. Yay. One step forward.
Starting point is 01:11:00 Oh. Don't take it from her. Baseball hat wearing jerk You're not at the game No this is This is intended for you Put the hat back on It wasn't bad I was just joking around
Starting point is 01:11:21 Right in his goddamn hand. That was amazing. That was... I know you're applauding yourself, but Doug, you're really good at that. Right? That was a good... He's like, I caught it when it landed in his hand.
Starting point is 01:11:38 Doug, you've got a skill, man. I like doing stuff like that. Because if you miss, who cares? But you put it right in their hands, you can act like you're good at it. There's a career in that. I like watch those videos where people do crazy, like they throw a basketball from a building,
Starting point is 01:11:56 and they try a million times, but you only see the one where they made it. I love that shit. Just keep trying, man. It might go in, and then you've got it on videotape it's so weird but of course this is an audio podcast no i can do it if that's where we're going i can do it all right where's mad at again there you are so he has a suggestion for a name. He says Billy Crystal, the great Billy Crystal. The Oscars doesn't count, even though he hosted it many times.
Starting point is 01:12:32 Neither does Comic Relief. It's the films, or the TV show Soap. It's the films of Billy Crystal. He played the first gay man on television, I think. Yes, he did. Well, first out gay man, right? Yeah, the Hollywood squares were full of them. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:55 Paul Lind was in the squares. All right. Let's do it. Let's do Billy Crystal. I'm excited about this. It won't last too long, I'm guessing, and we don't have too much time left because they run a tight ship here at South By. And by the way, you know, people say South By. I just did.
Starting point is 01:13:13 It's just, you know, abbreviating's fun. But if you get a chance, say the actual name of the event. It's South by Southwest's Conference and conference and festivals. Yeah, not easy to say, but worth the effort. Yeah. Somebody just shorten it to South by somehow, because people are cool. A year from now, it'll just be
Starting point is 01:13:39 Seth. If your costume has anything to do with it, it'll just be Sal. It's a fucking cow head. Did we not establish that? You don't have to applaud. Yeah. Okay, let's play. Billy Crystal, you go first.
Starting point is 01:14:03 Sean, what do you got for Billy Crystal? You know, I'm going obvious with City Slickers. Get rid of an obvious one, man. That's all I had. Yeah. That's all you had? You guys have a chance at this one. I'll go ahead and take it off the board.
Starting point is 01:14:20 City Slickers 2. Yep. Oh, shit. I'm going to fuck it up. The Search for Curly's gold Ah No shut up I'm out
Starting point is 01:14:31 Are you out for that? I'm out Oh man I said it wrong I got cocky Well I'm gonna let that slide for a while I'm gonna let that float out there Oh you are
Starting point is 01:14:38 Yeah analyze this Okay Well now I'm in my head about the City Slickers I don't want to Are you in my head about the City Slickers I don't want to Are you in your head about Analyze This? Uh Princess Bride Full title
Starting point is 01:15:02 The Quest for Curly's... Cock. I thought it was The Quest for Curly's Bush. Just the first word. Wait, what? What's it called? The Princess Bride? Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 01:15:23 I'm pretty sure. I don't think it's just Princess Bride. Runaway Bride. That doesn't have a V on it. It's the Princess Bride. Because there's lots of Runaway Brides. Yeah. So why would you call it the Runaway Bride?
Starting point is 01:15:35 What do you have, Sean? Analyze that. Yeah. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. Go, Owen. Jeez. I know there's others. Oh, have we said soap yet?
Starting point is 01:15:50 Did we say, can we use soap? No, it's a TV show, and I very explicitly said you couldn't use soap. Maybe you thought I was telling you not to bathe. Owen, I'd like you to not use soap. Okay. Let's see. Man, he's done a lot of different stuff.
Starting point is 01:16:08 Mm-hmm. He was in that one where he's all like... Oh, it's so hard with the pressure. Yeah, right? Yeah, and the alcohol. Oh, I can do a lifeline. You could do the lifeline, yes. Good idea.
Starting point is 01:16:28 I'm going to go ahead and do it. Let's go to Katie. Katie. It's never too early to use your lifeline. Oh, yeah. God damn it. When Harry Met Sally. He's in that movie.
Starting point is 01:16:39 I forgot he has that cameo. And that one scene steals it. He plays the ellipses at the end of the title. I'm going to go with that. When Harry Met Sal. Yeah, good answer. Doug? City Slickers 4. No.
Starting point is 01:16:58 You can go to your lifeline. I'm going to do a lifeline. Nessa. Monsters Incorporated. Monsters Inc. I think some people like to call it. No, but Monsters Inc. as some people like to call it. No, but Monsters Inc. But some people like longer words. She's really smart. Let's see if that helps out our friends, Sean.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Mr. Saturday Night. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, that's good. Owen? I'm going to go for Monsters University. I knew it. He's done a lot of sequels.
Starting point is 01:17:29 Like, no trilogies. None of his franchises made it to trilogy. But sequels. I'm sorry. Fair showing. I'm going to go with Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Okay, so you're out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:50 I love people who are like, what? Can you imagine on Jeopardy if people had made shock noises when somebody said the wrong answer? Huh? And now I'm going to think of one immediately. Yeah, because Sean's about to say one. Yeah. I'm going to call in my lifeline with Terry here.
Starting point is 01:18:09 Oh, here we go, Terry. Terry. Forget Paris. Forget Paris. Mm-hmm. That's just an exclamation. I don't know if that's a movie, honestly. Is it?
Starting point is 01:18:20 Yeah. Is it? Yeah, let's just say it. She's in that with Meg Ryan, and then Meg Ryan's in a movie with another guy called Paris Match, right? With Kevin Kline. Okay. Anyway.
Starting point is 01:18:32 I love rom-coms. I'm showing off. I can't get enough rom-coms. Thank you, Terry. All right, Owen, you got anything else? There were more Indiana Jones movies. So soap, we can't use soap. Is that right?
Starting point is 01:18:58 Soap is off the table. If we put a number of episodes together and make it a feature, would that count? No, okay. I'll go then for City Slickers to the quest for Curly's gold. Nope, that's not it.
Starting point is 01:19:14 What do you think it is, Sean? City Slickers to the hunt for Curly's gold. The hunt for Red October. People hunt for gold? I will kill it when I find it. The painting of gold for Curly. I can't wait to murder some gold.
Starting point is 01:19:29 Is it The Search? Can't wait to take a picture with some dead gold. The breath of Curly's gold. I can't believe I fucked this one up, but somebody in the audience said it when I fucked it up. It's the legend of Curly's gold. Oh. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:44 There you go. Who won? You Yeah, yeah. There you go. Who won? You did, Sean. You're our superstar. I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't know how it worked in that situation. Terry, do you want that stuff? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:58 Do you want that stuff that Owen sweated into? Put it on. Put it on. Don't put it on. Put it on right now. Don't put it on. Put it on right now. They want you to put it on. Gross. So gross.
Starting point is 01:20:12 My second baby was conceived in that mask. This is the end of hereditary too. I don't know how this happened. All right. Well, congratulations, Terry. And yeah, apologies to the quote-unquote losers tonight. The other name tags aren't losers. They just don't get to take all this stuff.
Starting point is 01:20:36 I'm sorry. Sorry, Katie. Brian, aren't you glad I didn't choose you? You get both arms. Doug is just throwing skeleton arms into a bag. That's cool. Now let's really see how my arm is. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:58 Just whipping baseballs into the audience. Where's Katie? Hey, oh, shit. No. Underhand that thing. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's just,
Starting point is 01:21:12 I would love to throw a baseball in here, but that's such a bad idea. Wait, let's get a round of shots up to the stage and then throw the baseball. That's not,
Starting point is 01:21:24 that's not the plan. I hope this is what the Q&As for League of Their Own were like when that film first came out. Just throwing baseballs in the theater. I was hoping it would roll up the stairs. I was hoping it would roll up to her, but it's right there if you need it, Katie. It's like a scene from The Conjuring.
Starting point is 01:21:49 Oh, look at this. It's rolling. Throw it, throw it, throw it. Yeah, throw it, throw it, throw it. Throw it to someone else, anybody. Arch it. Oh, yeah. Katie, that was incredible. I knew it would get there eventually.
Starting point is 01:22:03 And Terry, you can have your poster back there because you've got to hang on to that and we can give Vanessa hers back and the baseball's already back. Okay. Owen. Yes? You got a movie.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Yes. It's called Mercy Black. It will be out sometime somewhere. Yeah, it actually stars your co-star from Mr. Roosevelt, Danielle Panetta is in it. Oh, very nice. And Janine Garofalo. Janine Garofalo is in it as well.
Starting point is 01:22:29 What? In a scary ass movie? Yes, she's really, really good. And Austin Emilio from Walking Dead and a lot of other incredible actors. It's a damn good film.
Starting point is 01:22:39 All right. I'm glad that you're proud of it. I made it. I'm glad you're proud of it. And we look forward to seeing it and thank you for being here. Yeah, Mercy Black. Doug Mellard, when can we fart safari again?
Starting point is 01:22:51 I'll actually be... This drops real soon, right? I'll be actually headlining Cap City Tuesday to Thursday of next week, 19 through 21, so... Right here in Austin. Yeah, right here in Austin, Texas. So come on out, guys. Oh, and find my dog, the luckiest penny,
Starting point is 01:23:10 on Instagram. She has so many more thousands and thousands of followers than I do, and she's adorable. At the luckiest penny on Instagram. What kind of dog is it? A brown dog. But it's small and adorable and has
Starting point is 01:23:31 its own Instagram. Yeah, I get really sad. I'm not jealous at all that she has more followers, but it's okay. Okay. She gets sponsors and I don't, but that's fine. She got a sponsor from this. Oh, we're still talking about it?
Starting point is 01:23:46 Sorry. I'm not upset. Thanks, Doug. And Harbar Superstar, you can see him tonight at Cheer Up Charlie's at like 1 a.m. Yeah. Closing down South By. That's happening. The last night of music, last night of film.
Starting point is 01:24:05 He ends it all. And what else can they do to follow you? You can go to harmoursuperstar.com or follow all of those social media, that same name on all the platforms. Or Heartbones 2. That's another project that I'm doing down here this week. It's a new band that I have with Sabrina Ellis, like I said earlier, and we're finishing an album right now
Starting point is 01:24:27 and playing random shows here and there. And just looking forward to the House of Wax soundtrack to come out on Record Store Day because there's actually a Harmar song on there from the remake from a long time with the Paris Hilton one. There is? Yeah. So that's going to be on vinyl, I just found out,
Starting point is 01:24:45 which I think is kind of hilarious. It'll probably be in some dumb colors and I'll get one. That's that movie where Paris Hilton dies, but not soon enough. Yeah. Douglars Movies is back at Zany's in Nashville on Saturday, April 13th at 420 as part of the Wild West Comedy Festival.
Starting point is 01:25:02 One more time for all of my guests. Harmar, superstar, Doug Mellard, Owen Edgerton. Cue up that end theme because I'm about to say, as always, positive energy!
Starting point is 01:25:19 Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.

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