Doug Loves Movies - Harland Williams, Samm Levine, and Graham Elwood Guest
Episode Date: January 5, 2014Live from the Orlando Improv, Doug welcomes Harland Williams, Samm Levine, and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https...://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody!
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies!
That was perfect.
Very well done.
Coming to you for the first time from the Orlando Improv on Sunday, January 5th at 420.
It is, you know, you guys had your couple of cold days.
You had your cold spell for a couple days there and I caught the end of that.
And then now suddenly today
the weather's beautiful.
And then they say it's going to get cold again tomorrow.
So good work, Florida.
Whenever I go to Florida
people are like, why are you going to Florida?
And I'm just like, because I love it.
I love the weather.
And the people that come to my shows are nice.
I don't care about all those other people.
Right?
You guys are here and it's going to be cool.
Let me see your name tags.
We got
Super Guy Me is back in the front
row from yesterday.
Holy crap.
Rocket Dan.
And Rocket Sam.
Wow, that's
like, uh,
that was the name of the Muskrats
in that Muskrat song.
No, Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam.
Monty Python
and the Holly Grail.
Pool Hall Joey's.
And that's a kangaroo holding a pool cue.
Okay.
A fish called Rhonda.
The Geordie year old virgin.
I was Geordie years old when I lost it.
Davula, that's a good one.
Instead of, of course, instead of Frankenstein.
And, yeah. Oh, there's a light up...
What's that dude's name?
Guy Fawkes mask?
And your name is Guy?
Oh, alright.
Fawkes you.
Fawkes off.
But that's cool, it lights up.
Is it supposed to go on a face
or is it just a light up head? That's cool, it lights up. Is it supposed to go on a face
or is it just a light up head?
Oh, it's a mask that you put on some sort of
outdoor flashlight?
Industrial flashlight?
You don't have to answer these questions.
You still might get chosen.
Oh, people are still holding them up, I'm sorry.
Arms are probably killing you.
But thank you to everybody
for bringing your beautiful signs.
Sorry I can't talk about more of them.
We've got other stuff to do.
Los Angeles, few notes
for other parts of the country.
In Los Angeles, I'll be back on Tuesday
for another episode of Doug Loves Movies at UCB,
which everyone can hear
the next day if they want to.
And next Saturday, I'm
doing a special Doug Loves Movies taping at
the Riot Fest in downtown Los Angeles
at 420, of course,
one week from today.
From the corrections department,
John Cusack wasn't in a movie
called Poe. He played Po't in a movie called Poe
he played Poe
in a movie called The Raven
I mean it's totally the sort of thing
that I would have called him on it if I caught it
but then when someone else catches it
and tells me about it
I feel like I've failed you somehow. I mean, it's
always like, it just depends on the person making the decision, but in that case, I knew
what movie he was talking about, and also, it might as well have been called Poe. Doesn't
he play detective, like solving a mystery or something in it? Like if Poe solved mysteries?
I think that was the premise of the movie.
John Cusack's done some weird shit lately.
He was Nixon and Lee Daniels, the butler,
and he was that weird prisoner in Lee Daniels, the paperboy.
Lee Daniels, the paper boy.
I'm going to watch the paper boy and Lee Daniels, the butler,
within a few days of each other, about a week apart.
And it's going to be an interesting transition.
Because the paper boy is fucking crazy.
But the butler looks crazy also, but in a way that people accept it like people are like oh that was cool crazy
not just crazy
getting Doug with
high returns with a new episode this
Wednesday I'm sorry that we had to take two
weeks off because some people
make a big deal out of December
25 and January
1 for some reason
just days on a calendar to me,
but it was hard for me to put on a show
with no one.
So, we'll see you.
People complain to me on Twitter.
I'm like, what do you want me to do, man?
So I'll see you
at 4.15 Pacific Standard Time
Wednesday, this Wednesday,
at YouTube slash Doug Benson.
I won't see you. You can see
me.
And a special guest.
If you're in San Francisco on February 8th, I'm doing
a Benson movie interruption of Twilight
colon New Moon
at the
Castro Theater.
It's a terrible movie
in a beautiful theater.
SFSketchFfest.com for info.
Where is, here tonight, at Esco Richard?
Right here.
Right there.
Did I pronounce it right?
Yes, you did.
Esco Richard.
So that's, what parts of your name is that?
Esco is my last name.
Oh, Esco is your last name.
You switched them around.
Yeah, there you go.
Because Richard Esco was already taken.
So you went Esco's your last name. You switched them around. Because Richard Esco was already taken. So you went Esco Richard.
Why didn't you...
Do you not have enough letters to throw in C-O-M-M-A?
Nope, too many letters.
Okay, so...
So Esco Richard, you did the right thing.
And you tweeted today, and I caught it, you did the right thing.
And you tweeted today, and I caught it.
On way to see you and ran into our governor of our state at Starbucks.
Dot, dot, dot.
No big deal.
Sounds like it is a big deal.
Sounds like I stirred some shit up.
I didn't know what I was walking into here,
but so we don't like the governor.
No.
And so, Esco, did you on our behalf tell him how much we don't like him?
He had a lot of security.
He had a lot of security.
So when you say ran into him,
you mean he was in the same Starbucks.
You didn't speak to him?
You didn't say,
I'm going to a place
where a known drug addict will be?
Because I really would love it
if he came by.
I'd love to see Dick.
This is his name, right?
Rick?
Rich?
Rick?
Rick Scott.
He's got two first names.
Can't trust that.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug Bill.
Sounds like Duck Bill.
No big deal.
All right, well, thank you, Richard, for that.
And I'm very excited about the prize bag today
because it includes a lighter that I was given
by someone whose Twitter handle is
at ChrisJones419,
and he missed 420 by one. And it's a lighter that he made for me
uh he made me several of them and this particular one has the getting dug with high logo on it so i
wanted to pay that forward and also in this bag is a shirt from uh a gentleman who's with hashtag United for Care.
And United for Care, F-O-R-C-A-R-E,
is they included a shirt for the prize bag,
but also they are here today,
and anyone that can go up to them and find them after the show,
they'll be the people with clipboards
that look like they want you to sign a petition.
If you could go sign their petition,
it's for trying to
get the ball rolling on legalizing
marijuana here in Florida.
So, yeah.
So, do that after the show.
The show is happening on private
property, so they're not allowed to
announce their presence here.
So, like I said, just go up to the people
with clipboards.
It's the new version of like a red carnation and the lapel.
I'll be the one with the clipboard.
Also included in the prize bag is
from our friends at
Vape Exhale, a t-shirt.
It's a very cool vaporizer that I'm going to be trying out on camera this week
on Getting Doug with High.
A very cool poster from Cute Streak Designs that is Breaking Bad.
It's a portrait of Walter White.
And a $10 gift card for iTunes.
Rules of the Letter Mauling Game I'm going to have standing by
for our guest today.
One of our guests
might not know exactly how it works.
We've got some
movies we'll talk about when we get the guest
out here.
Oh yeah,
we've got to sold that off too.
So exciting. I don't know why
I'm putting a bunch of stuff on the chair somebody's about to sit on.
Please, you guys,
I'm really glad to
pull together such a lineup here in
Florida. Please give a big warm
welcome to Harlan
Williams, Graham Elwood, and Sam
the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a.
Will Wolverine.
Thank you very much, Orlando.
What's up, Jam Lando?
What's up, Jam Lando?
See Harlan, that's why we keep it a secret Because that's fun to let that out of the bottle
And watch it go
Harlan, somebody tweeted him
They figured it out that he'd be here
Because he's working at the improv this weekend
And they tweeted at him asking him Are you going to be there? know they figured it out that he'd be here because he's working at the improv this weekend and they tweeted at him
asking him
are you going to be there
and he wrote back
hell yeah buddy
something like that
yeah and then I
direct messaged you
shhh
and you brought
for the prize bag
Harlan Williams everybody
first of all
happy new year And you brought for the prize bag, Harlan Williams, everybody, first of all.
Happy New Year.
Second time on the program.
Yes, it's an honor, thank you.
First time in this country.
That's right, this is my first American one. We did that one in Vancouver.
Oh, that was Vancouver?
I thought that was the one we did in North Korea.
Why are you laughing?
I don't know why you're laughing.
Yeah, we were performing down at
Kim Jong Fool's.
That's a great club.
That's a really good club.
You brought a copy of
a DVD of yours called
The Force of Nature where
a turtle is turned into you or you've turned into a turtle.
Yeah, I like it if you look right here.
One more time for the listeners.
My neck meat is flapping if you're listening at home.
That's got to be the name of your next album, by the way.
Neck meat.
I got kicked out of SeaWorld yesterday for doing that.
I swallowed a stingray.
Sam the Ma'am is here, everybody.
Oh, you're so sweet, Orlando.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
I don't know.
I gotta come back here more often.
That was lovely.
And what are these motion pictures that you brought to put in the bag?
I brought three motion pictures I have nothing to do with whatsoever.
I brought True Romance.
Yeah.
That's a good movie.
This is a great triple feature, by the way.
The Game.
David Fincher's The Game.
And one of Doug's personal favorites and mine, Blade Runner.
Watch it with a pause button.
Whoa, okay, I thought I'd do that.
There's like a strip club scene.
Yeah, well, those are great
contributions to the bag, and I'm
glad you didn't want those anymore.
No, in hindsight, I should
have, of course, brought Sidney White,
the Amanda Bynes classic,
which we shot right here
in Orlando.
Yeah, and you worked with her back when she was regular.
Yes.
Back when she was regular, yes.
Yeah, when she was just a little too spunky, hyper.
But there was something cute about that.
Uh-huh.
What do you think went wrong there, Sam?
If you had to say.
It's not comedy.
It's just mean.
I can't.
All right. Well, I think. I can't. Alright. Well,
I think it's funny. Alright.
If you think mental illness is funny, then cheers to you, friend.
No matter who's doing it, when cops come in
and you pick up the bong in front of them
and throw it out the window,
that's pretty funny. Alright.
In a vacuum, I guess that is funny.
In a vacuum, I guess that is funny.
I wish I could use my bong in a vacuum,
because then it would just automatically be clean when it spills over.
Graham Elwood is here.
Graham Elwood's confused.
Jam Lando 2, Electric Boogaloo.
Take control, mall city.
Take control.
It's barely even a mall.
It's like, it's restaurants.
It's a village.
Restaurant village.
Oh, and some jewelry.
And there's a FedEx.
I don't even remember what else.
And a movie theater at the top of a giant
mountain that you have to climb
way in the back.
Yes.
That was a weird laugh.
You leave that weird laugher alone.
Doug Benson, defender
of the weird laughers.
Smoking weed through a vacuum.
That made no goddamn sense at all.
Is that a...
Like, I didn't get it because I'm a stoner thing,
or was that just like you envision something weird?
No, just like the inside of a vacuum,
it's already...
Everything's already in there.
So...
Outside of that vacuum,
everything would be clean.
Do you know what a vacuum is, Doug?
Have you ever actually used one?
Yes, you've ever seen one?
No, a brand new vacuum cleaner.
Still in the wrapper.
But speaking of garbage,
Graham's book...
Oh, what?
Just let me finish my sentence. Graham's book thinks Oh, what? Just let me finish my sentence.
Graham's book thinks you shouldn't litter.
Nice save, asshole.
It's called The Comedy...
I mean, you know the title.
I say it all the time, but I'll say it again.
It's just hard to read off of the cover.
Because if you read the cover, it's called
The Comedy Guide to Film Movies.
No, it's hard for a stoner who thinks vacuum
cleaners are clean
to read it.
Can you read that, Sam? You're Jewish.
Yeah. Yep.
So you read right to left, right?
Yep. Yep. Yep.
Baruch film
atah. Oh, film? You got film out of that in there? Yeah. It's the same, Kerm, Baruch, Film, Atah.
Oh, film?
You got film out of that in there?
Yeah.
It's the same in any language?
It's the same in both languages, yeah.
It's the same in both languages.
Sam just performed a bris right now, folks.
I did, thank you.
Congratulations.
Does someone have a baby?
Because if we don't, the plagues will rain down upon us
if we don't follow through.
There's got to be some dude here that needs a circumcision.
Come on, somebody.
Come on, whip it out, fellas.
Show us your name tags.
Someone born in Europe.
Raise your hand.
All right, nothing.
Oh, I forgot to throw in there, Doug.
I have a Whistling Banes shirt
for the winner.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, so come see us.
I'll be there.
You know, I wrote the forward
in the comedy film guide,
Nerds to Movies, and
I will happily...
Stick with the font. I'll stick my
stick, I'll put my
dick pen in there for you.
Yeah, buy a book and Doug will
fuck it.
Hashtag.
Books.
I'm loving them.
I have questions for you guys, if you don't mind.
Starting with Harlan Williams.
Have you got any motion picture work for us to look forward to?
I think it's been maybe a year since i
saw you i have a new movie coming out in two weeks called back in the day with uh nick swartzen
michael rosenbaum moreno baccarin oh she's very sexy oh she's very very sexy wow i wasn't in until Moreno Baccarin. There you go, Temple Brandon.
Yeah, she's all right.
I do have Western wear on today, so it's apt.
So that's coming out on what's the date?
It comes out like the 14th, I think.
Jan 14th?
Jan 14th.
All right.
It's one of those high school reunion,
back to school type of comedies
with a bunch of crazy hijinks.
It's going to be a lot of fun,
so check her out, gang.
Nicely done.
Thanks, thanks.
It's awesome.
And he didn't, like,
I called him, like,
he wasn't like,
hey, can I come promote my movie?
No, I was like,
hey, come do the show.
He's like, sure.
And then, perfect timing, movie's coming out in a couple weeks.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Thank you.
It's got the lady from Homeland in it.
Yeah, she's spicy.
That's all I need to know.
I saw her at an airport once.
I didn't know what to say.
That wasn't her.
She's too beautiful to fly Now if you want to see a clip from the movie
I'm doing Conan on Tuesday night
We're going to be showing a clip
So check it out
Oh bravis
Watch Conan on Tuesday night
Instead of me on
At Midnight with Chris Hardwick
Oh no No no no Conan said 11 They can make it a instead of me on At Midnight with Chris Hardwick. Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Conan said 11, isn't he?
Yeah.
Perfect.
They can make it a buffet.
Oh, but they don't want them to turn away from Pete Holmes at midnight.
It's such a...
Oh, TV's a battlefield.
You know, all these shows are on the internet, too.
You guys can go and watch them.
Oh, they are?
I know, it's true.
It's true.
You can see it that way.
Don't you sponsor Hulu?
Don't you sponsor Hulu, Doug?
I'd say that Hulu corporation,
they'd be nowhere
without Benson.
But Sam said it in his voice.
He was even better
coming from the audience
because he's like,
don't you sponsor Hulu?
Ain't you one of them
Hulu sons of bitches?
Get my scattergun.
It's Hulu Plus.
I don't know fuck all about Hulu.
I don't mess with Hulu.
Hulu's for fucking animals.
I'm about Hulu Plus.
Yeah, it'll be funny if they're the ones
sponsoring this episode.
I don't know from episode to episode.
I just try to do a show, you know, without any kind of censorship.
But I should also say that it's a great service.
While you're at it, use Squarespace.
Yeah, don't you use Squarespace, dude?
You got one of them websites on Squarespace.com.
Backslash DougLookMovies.
You one of them Squarespace sponsors?
You one of them sponsors?
That's right.
Squarespace used to be a drunk, and now I'm their sponsor.
One day at a time, Squarespace.
It works if you work it, and you're worth it.
Now I know who's
Starting to sound like a lady
I was doing a lady's voice
The entire time
Oh okay
How do you not know that?
Come sit on Manor's lap
Get your little square space
Over here dad
Half-bucket by Hulu Plus Vaguely dirty Get your little Squarespace over here, Dad.
Half-buck in my Hulu Plus.
Vaguely dirty.
I want to see your Squarespace.
Take me to your hollow zone.
I'll give you some Hulu Plus.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's where you lost him.
That creeped them out They're like hey
That's too much
It's the rule of 12s
After 12 riffs they give up
I'll get them back on the 24th baby
Oh but it's those 11
We have to sit through
Sam
Quite a rivalry was created
between you and Graham Bellwood
at the Christmas episode
mostly because of your weird glee
at Graham's defeat
honestly, I'm not a parent
but there's no way having a kid is going to be half as good
first of all, everything you do is apparent
and
you still Sam, you still owe me a suicide First of all, everything you do is apparent.
You still owe me a suicide.
You said before that if I do not win, I will kill myself.
You didn't make it to the finals. I said if you win, I will kill myself.
It is legal in the state of Florida to kill yourself.
That is why I invited you here today.
I will assist you in seppuku.
A little hairy carry.
Is it really seppuku if you have an assist?
Like if you have somebody spotting your seppuku?
I might not be able to push it all the way.
Could you just give it a little extra?
Actually, Doug, the second in assisting
is the guy who severs the head,
not severs completely,
because that would be disrespectful
if you study any sort of samurai.
Harlan, be quiet.
Anyway.
Doug, as we were saying.
Harlan, I thought Jerry Lewis showed up all of a sudden.
Bloody professor over there.
Oh, look at the guy.
Temple Grandin.
I don't know what that reference is, but I'm sure it's great.
It's pretty solid because
it's that movie where Claire Danes
plays the lady who
was so crazy she
invented it.
She's here tonight.
She made an invention that helps cows.
She's supposed to be in the back of the room clapping wildly
at nothing.
Isn't that who he was doing?
That was the deal that she and Claire Danes had, right?
Was that Temple?
Yeah, that's what I was doing her impression.
That's what I said.
Nailed it.
We got Temple.
Graham.
What?
What was your favorite movie
of this last year
ooh that's a tough one
um
Spectacular Now
Spectacular Now
and let's go to the
the audience member
that yelled out a title
let's see if it's a match
what'd you say
what was your pick?
Grandmaster.
That's a good film too, yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to be asking a lot of questions
of my guests this evening.
So feel free to not do that again.
I know the feeling
you get high
and you just say stuff
like I was
just the other day
I was telling Kermit the Frog
during the Muppet 3D
show
that I thought
Fozzie was a little loud
and that a vacuum cleaner
is somehow cleaner inside
can I ask you a question? please I was in the back there before and I could not hear and that a vacuum cleaner is somehow cleaner inside.
Can I ask you a question?
Please.
I was in the back there before,
and I could not hear all of your intro,
and I was, as you know, eager to hear how you were going to do it. Oh, yeah, I was trying to tell you about this before the show,
and I didn't get around to the explanation,
but basically it's don't worry about it.
Alright.
That's fair.
Did you see a lot of movies this last year, Harlan?
Yeah, man. Yeah, sure did.
Do you have
a favorite?
Did Graham really say Spectacular now?
Yeah, he did.
That's an interesting choice. I don't even know. What was that one
about? There was a bunch of really good movies.
There was a lot of good ones, yeah. What was Spectacular
Now? What was it? It was a little indie film. It was a
high school coming of age kind of thing, but not
it was really good. Kind of like Back in the Day?
Yeah.
Guess what?
Why do you have to pick that fucking movie?
Back in the day
It's going to be his favorite movie of 2014
See him a year from now
Give me a potato, it's harvest season
Give me a potato Did you pick a favorite, Harlan?
Yeah, I saw Frozen at a drive-in in Alaska.
In a convertible.
Is that wrong?
That's a good answer.
It's a cute movie, right?
Oh, yeah.
Cute snowmen.
Icicles.
Do you like icicles?
The marketing, though, they kind of cover up.
It's about two little girls, princesses, I guess.
Teenagers.
So you've seen it, too?
No, I have not.
Well, then why are you, like, kind of dumping that all over it if you haven't seen it I was asking you about it no I'm guessing you haven't seen it either
you son of a bitch how dare you how dare you I was a really good guest up until now.
How dare you help me?
It was the premise under which you saw Frozen
that I figured that didn't really happen.
But, you know, people with kids,
they see that, you know, I have guests on,
and kids, all they see is those Pixar movies. CGI's. That's not they see that. You know, I have guests on. Kids, all they see is those Pixar movies.
CGI's.
That's not a Pixar movie.
You know what I mean.
Yeah.
Sam, what about you?
What's your favorite?
I have two.
Gravity and Short Term 12.
All right.
That's perfect because Harlan didn't have any.
There you go.
No, I have one.
You filled the void nicely.
Beasts of the Southern Wild.
2012.
You're before that, but...
No, now let me finish.
I saw it at a drive-in in a DeLorean.
So I time-traveled and saw it last year.
This is one crowd you don't have to add
the time-travel thing after saying DeLorean
I'm gonna go back
in time
and take down
what you just said
and then we're gonna have
Huey Lewis sing about it
cause it's the news
what's your favorite, Sam?
Two movies?
Yes, Short Term 12 and Gravity.
Okay.
Yeah.
What's Short Term 12?
What is that film?
It was an independent with... Brie Larson.
Brie Larson.
And she works at...
I don't want to say...
It's one of those where you're better off going in literally knowing nothing.
She was Miles Teller's
ex-girlfriend in Spectacular Now.
There you go.
And one of the
seven exes in, or she
wasn't an ex, but her boyfriend, anyway,
Scott Phillips.
Yeah, that's true. Any whoozle.
What a great year-end wrap-up we just had.
Some really exciting
stuff happening in cinema.
I pre-wrote down
my answer and I think it's Gravity.
This would be my
favorite film of the year.
So then I win the game.
Were you pissed off about that whole
Gravity controversy that came out after
where they said her hair didn't float?
Were you pissed about the non-floating hair?
I don't remember that hair thing specifically,
but didn't Neil deGrasse Tyson just lay into everything
that was wrong with that movie?
Yes, he did.
Did he?
Yeah.
He's like, first of all, George Clooney,
that's not a real accent he's using.
Neither of them are space astronauts at all.
They're actors.
The story was written by some writer making it up.
But I know you get upset about floating hair.
You've always been like a floating hair freak.
That didn't
stick out at you?
For some reason, it didn't bother me.
I think I just haven't been
in space enough yet
to know when I
see it, when it looks wrong.
I'm just like, oh, that must be what space is like.
Every time.
Have you ever done this?
I can't wait to brush my teeth in space.
If you squeeze it out of the tube
it floats around. It's a game.
Is this microphone floating around
or is this my face?
Do this when you get home.
Lick your fingertip
and shove it in a socket
and your pubes puff out.
It looks like that guy from Room 222
with the red afro.
Remember that guy?
That's very topical.
But why...
Why give me such an exciting thing to do
and then say, wait till you get home, can't I?
Just find a socket is all you gotta start that way.
I got one right over here, Doug.
Okay, here we go.
Lube up that pinky, you weirdo.
Jam it in there and make your own vacuum cleaner bong.
I gotta get me some puffy pubes.
I've got a date tonight.
Stick your Hulu Plus in that outlet, Doug.
All right, again, an upstanding company,
and I hope that they're still a sponsor
of this program
because we really appreciate their help
They're great
Does anyone
hunger for catching fire?
Let's play some games
That's the end of the half an hour fuck around Let's play some games. Yay! There we go.
That's the end of the half an hour fuck around.
Now it's time for 60 minutes of serious shit.
Give or take 10 minutes.
Way to get the legal department happy.
That's a good dog.
The legal department, they're so frustrated because they don't exist
and so they're just there
every day going why aren't we
I'm folding up and putting away the piece of paper
that has the games on it
I'm like okay done, done with that.
From memory.
Here we go. Delete my Leonard
Malt map and we'll be done.
We're good. We're good to go.
No, because the reason
I keep fiddling with this is because I do
have to ask you guys to
pick your name tags.
That's right. Go out into the
audience and choose the name tag
that speaks to you.
The one that
you must play for.
You must win for because
of the kinship that is created.
And while you guys do that,
we'll do this. We'll be right back.
And we're back!
Sam Levine.
Who are you playing for?
I am playing for Amanda,
who brought her own hoverboard from the future,
as in one year from now.
That's awesome.
That's right, math whizzes.
Nice work, Amanda.
Don't read the shithead on the back, Harlan.
Don't read it? Don't read it. That's for later. I knowes. Nice work, Amanda. Don't read the shithead on the back, Harlan. Okay.
Don't read it?
Don't read it. That's for later.
Okay.
I know, I'm so full of secrets.
Who are you playing for?
First of all, apologies to people who made stuff and I didn't pick it because there's
a lot of good ones, but this is for Rocket Mike.
There you go.
Yeah.
You got it right over here, Rocket. Sam and you go. Yeah. You got right over here, Rocket.
Sam and Rocket Dan.
Yeah.
Packed my bags.
People figured out you were going to be here.
Zero hour, 9 a.m.
I got to get in close on this.
This is fantastic.
And I'm going to be high as a kite by then.
I fairly got you in the vine.
Just how I like it.
What are you doing, Sam?
Okay, it looked like you were cheating and looking at the paper.
Yes, Doug, that's how I do it.
I like to cheat in a game where there's no actual prize.
You're playing for a young lady from the future.
That's true.
So take it seriously.
Fair enough.
All right, thank you.
These name tags are all great, you guys.
Big round of applause
for all of your name tags.
Yeah, thank you.
Come on.
Amanda, I noticed
there's no shithead
on the back of this hoverboard.
That's a bold move.
That's a bold move.
It's on the back of the paper.
It's on the back of the paper, dude.
Oh, dude.
Don't mess with it.
Or do you like to know ahead of time what the shithead's going to be?
Hopefully we'll never have to know. Harlan can't stop staring at his.
We'll read that, Harlan, if you lose today.
That's their consolation prize.
We'll call that person or thing a shithead.
Is there one on the back of yours, Graham?
Yes, there is.
Nice.
All right, the first game we're gonna play is how much did this shit make
what's happening just a bunch of cookies this guy in the front row looks like pete holmes am i wrong
pete pete why didn't you tell us you were in Jam Lando?
Wash my damn towels!
So yeah,
some cookies just flew in out of nowhere.
What in the world
makes you think
we would eat these?
I still got the glutinos
from last night.
I'm gonna eat the shit
out of those.
Twinkies?
These don't have weed
in them, do they?
I'll have one of those
for sure.
No, okay. Take them back. Now you guys are just putting fucking...
Somebody just threw the biggest
Rice Krispie treat I've ever seen up here.
It's a treats sheet.
That is much larger than my torso.
I'm not kidding.
That's like a dog bed right there.
I will disappear behind this.
If you attach that to your hoverboard, Sam...
Oh, that's your Halloween costume next year.
Sam Levine, our little treat sheet.
Someone got a photo of that.
Send it to the Kellogg's company.
I could use the work.
Just keep throwing it around.
That's awesome.
The treat sheet.
I want to fucking break that thing in half.
I bet you that would be pretty easy to do.
I bet you it would.
Somebody else threw up a box of Twinkies.
Thank God they're back.
That was a dark time when there was no Twinkies.
I could only find solace in the annual return of the McRib.
Almost didn't think of it.
I understand the pressure you guys are under up here.
I'm trying to think of the answers.
So we're going to start with how much did this shit make?
And there was another thing Sam and I started to discuss before the show.
I tried.
We didn't finish it.
What order should we start in for this particular game?
I guess we should let Harlan go first.
Yeah, let Harlan go.
All right.
And then where do we go from there?
You can go to Graham. Okay. Dec Harlan go. All right. And then where do we go from there? You can go to Graham.
Okay.
Decided.
Okay.
Well done.
Thanks.
Harlan.
Yeah?
How much in millions was made by a movie that was shot?
This is the worst sentence ever game?
Is that what we're playing?
Florida.
We're playing fuck syntax? Is that what we're playing? We're playing fuck syntax?
Is that what we're playing tonight?
It was shot in Florida and the domestic
box office
Jesus Christ
It's like being interviewed by
Speak and Spell over here
I have horrible news.
Doug is stone cold sober right now.
I'm trying to...
Should we put a wallet
in his mouth? Is he having a seizure?
It's like Siri's fucking lover over there.
It's true, I'm not drinking.
It's true, I'm not drinking.
I guess the drinking really helps.
Could you start again?
It screams you out, man.
I was just trying to get the whole
premise of the game out and in a question
and it got convoluted and
the two guys that know how it works piled on.
And the audience.
The audience wasn't yelling anything at me.
Well, they don't have microphones.
Which are used for yelling.
Goddamn right.
It's my goddamn right to yell.
I have a microphone.
Here's the game, Harlan.
Everybody has to guess how much a movie made
at the domestic box office
according to boxofficemojo.com.
It's an entire run.
In this case, it's a movie that was shot in Florida
called Jaws 3D.
And you can't go over correct Doug?
you gotta get close without going over
domestic
yes sir
Jaws 3D
Jaws 2 was a reasonable hit
they did it again
they did that thing that's ruined movies forever
the third one always has to be in 3D
I'm gonna say 32 mil alright They did that thing that's ruined movies forever that the third one always has to be in 3D.
I'm going to say 32 mil.
All right.
Now we're going to go to Graham.
As decided by Sam earlier.
Just one skull. I'm just saying it's all fair.
It's going to up and up completely.
Can I go to dinner with you, Doug, to help set the order? I'm just saying it's all fair. Up and up. Completely.
Can I go to dinner with you, Doug, to help set the order?
You're going to dinner with Douglas?
Let's see.
First of all, it was lunch.
Secondly, I asked him to lunch.
Thank you.
And thirdly, I tried to discuss the order with him, but we didn't get to it. Right.
Because we started talking about something else.
Right.
I was in my room doing yoga.
And I really like yoga, by the way.
I think you should marry her.
She's a delight.
We met her in the Scandinavian section of Epcot.
She's a ride operator over at Maelstrom.
And
they got some gorgeous
girls over there.
So Harlan, you said 32?
35? 34.
Oh, you're addending. Okay.
You said 32.
32. And if that's what I said, I thought it was a...
I'm going to go...
I'm going to go 21.
33.
And thanks for paying for lunch, by the way.
I reached, you refused.
So we have Graham with 21,
Harlan with 32,
and Sam with the classic 33 maneuver. I've seen the prices right.
You knew dollar wasn't the way to go.
No.
Because the correct answer is $45.5 million.
Yeah.
Nice.
Made by Jaws 3D.
Jaws 3D. Jaws 3D.
So that just means Sam gets to go first in the next game.
That's all it means, gang.
That's all it means.
Who wants these cookies, seriously?
I can't sit here with these cookies.
Just, you know, have a few, pass them around.
That's it.
What an asshole.
What a goddamn asshole. around that's what what an asshole god damn asshole here you go sir
would you like a twinkie
thank you for coming to our show tonight
I'm not a fucking asshole
guys
don't worry I got this
what you do is you squash them
so that no one's thinking
oh that's probably not that bad.
You make sure no one eats these
because these are bad.
These cookies have all been ruined.
Keep going. It's like a pathway to
between my legs.
I question the
box maker.
Yeah, that cookie box is
pretty fucking heavy there, sweetheart.
I just want people
at home...
I just want people at home to know
that Sam
tried to toss the cookie box,
the flimsy cookie box,
to the guy sitting right
in front of us.
Before I even completed the backhand.
The backswing of the throw.
Let's start from the beginning.
You didn't hand it to the guy.
You're like, there's your fucking cookies, you moke.
No, I was tossing it.
I got these cookies, you goddamn seal.
Here, jump for it, you fucking worm.
You're not one of us.
I was tossing it left-handed.
It's not like I was trying to get the back of the room.
Sam works at goddamn SeaWorld.
He was trying to toss them like Johnny Playground.
He was trying to be sporting about. Yeahground He was trying to be like sporting about
Yeah man
A gentleman, someone who's a two time champion
Would hand it to a person
A guy who happy when he can't win
That guy throws stuff like a fucking animal
Graham, how many of the tournament of champions did you win?
I don't know
Finalist three years in a row bitch
You couldn't be there
Who do you think you are, Britney Spears? win? I don't know. Finalist three years in a row, bitch. You couldn't be there.
Who do you think you are, Britney Spears?
She says bitch a lot. Are we the new
Nicki Minaj and Mariah?
This gentleman was just thanking me for being
a gentleman. That's what was happening.
You are a gentleman. Stop talking.
Try to say a nice thing.
No, seriously. Stop talking before you say
end of scholar.
No.
Alright, that one was just for me.
Sometimes I like
to make one that just I get to take home
and hold on to.
Now I want to jump all over that rice krispy treat.
Thinking about it.
I want people to go back
and listen to the moment
when that all went down
because
there's no mention
of Sam's name
Graham just
starts screaming
you asshole
so I want you to go back
I want you to go back
to that point
and imagine that
Harlan did something
Harlan you asshole I Harlan, you asshole!
I bet Graham would get that mad at him.
You polite person.
Or me. I mean, as you were yelling, I was just like, please clarify.
There was just a, from the audience, you asshole!
But he's allowed to yell that.
I mean, believe it or not, Graham and I have known each other
a great long time.
How long do you think? Too long.
In
March of 2000.
Right?
I've tried to forget it all.
I know, everybody. Just remember, folks,
hashtag Team Graham or hashtag
Team Sam.
There's two M's in Sam. Thank you. One M in Sam. There's two Ms in Sam.
Thank you.
One M in Graham.
No Ms in Harlan.
Hashtag Team Harlan.
What's your Twitter handle, Harlan?
At Harlan Williams.
Way to go.
Thank you.
With an M.
go.
With an M.
A regular one and an upside down one?
Yeah.
Did you see they have
the world's largest McDonald's here on this
street? Yes, yes,
I saw that. It's right next to the world's
largest ball of twine. Have you seen it?
No. Yeah. McDonald's is in to the world's largest ball of twine. Have you seen it? No. Yeah.
McDonald's is in the way, I guess.
I guess.
Because McDonald's is bigger than the ball of twine, right?
I don't know if it's... I think there's more...
Can you get McNuggets inside the ball of twine?
No. No, you can't. No, you cannot, sir.
All right.
No, sir, you cannot.
No, you cannot, sir.
All right.
No, sir, you cannot.
Now we're going to play a game called the Seth Rogen game.
A.K.A. Last Man Stanton.
Let me try to describe it to Harlan.
Who will be going...
What's the reverse order, Sam?
From you?
If you start with me?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Go to Graham and then go to Harlan, I guess?
Just asking, because if I said it wrong, you'd correct me.
I thought I'd cut out the middleman.
No, no, no.
There's no order yet until we get to the Hmong game.
No, I wanted to go opposite from what we just did in the last game.
Then just start with me and go to you, since
you play in this one, don't you? I'm going to play in this one.
Good idea, Sam.
Alright, we get from the audience
the name of a director, actor, or
actress with a fairly large
body of work, hopefully more than like a dozen
pictures. And
then we just take turns naming movies that
that person was involved with until
none of us can anymore.
Amanda Bynes. Please.
Michael
Kite.
We need half that.
I think
that's like a rule in Florida.
It's just like if you think you're about to be asked something,
start yelling the answer.
That's how they pick the governor here, actually.
Everybody just gets into a big room.
Yeah, a lot of people love the guy named Rick.
A lot of people love the guy named Scott.
And then suddenly Rick Scott is elected?
Where'd he come from?
Weird.
Let's work for centuries, Doug.
Don't challenge it now.
I think you're not allowed to yell fire or recount
in a crowded building in Florida.
All right, so we're going to go to the audience,
but please don't yell out yet.
So the audience is going to decide
what name we're going to use.
But you get the premise of the game, Harlan?
Okay, cool.
This is what I do.
And I usually just, instead of people yelling out names,
I usually pick someone that seems nice and non-yelly.
And I like the couple that brought
Rocketman-themed posters, both of them.
They really hedged their bets,
and then Harlan found another one
that didn't even have Milky Way bars stapled to it.
Can I trade?
No, no, I can't.
You heard the guy, no!
I heard that, I heard that.
You picked my shittier version!
Mine's smaller, it's photocopied.
You know what it was? He held a light up on his.
It was shining in the dark like a lighthouse.
It was like...
Get a light next time, you guys.
It was the light.
It was the light.
Fire hazard, that's the answer.
There you go.
Thank you.
The more dangerous, the better.
Yeah.
Set yourself on fire next time.
Throw yourself into a purple bug lamp, tambourine eyes.
Tambourine eyes?
Let's do that.
Let's do the films of tambourine eyes.
Mr. Tambourine Man.
So, as a couple,
can you two consult and pick one person
that you'd like us to play with?
She's already got it, I think.
Nicolas Cage. We've already done Nicolas Cage.
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
I mean I'd do it again
but I would
kind of be cheating
they're completely blank
they can't think of
another person
other than Nicolas Cage
well they were so
excited about Nicolas Cage
then they picked
Bill Murray
which we've also
done already
we've done this
maybe ten times
let's see
if you guys get
all ten ones
that we've already done
Sam will throw
cookies at you
that's the rule.
Christopher Walken.
I think we've done it, yeah.
All right, they're getting close.
Here we go.
This is exciting.
It might be some sort of thing.
Like, if you say to somebody,
think of a number between one and ten.
More than often, they pick seven in their head.
This might be one of those things
where there's just ten actors
that everybody thinks of.
We did Sander Bullock.
Jack Nicholson.
Will you please?
It's Sally Field, no S.
And don't yell out James Wood.
He's the world's
angriest stoner.
Quit yelling at my show
where I want people
to participate.
They fired me
from Howl at the Moon
for yelling at the customers.
And not knowing
how to play piano.
What's your next...
I want to see you
at Howl at the Moon.
Oh, that's not... I thought want to see you and howl at the moon.
Oh, that's not... I thought we were just
supposed to howl
and get our aggression out.
Have you done Nicholson?
Pound a piano.
Does anyone think
we've done Nicholson?
Feels like we have,
but maybe we haven't.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
I don't think I trust that guy. These guys get to decide. Are you sure? Absolutely. Jeff Bridges.
I don't think I trust that guy.
These guys get to decide.
Unless you are Jeff Bridges.
Why did you pick my goddamn name?
I was in Starman.
Sigourney Weaver?
Holy shit, yes.
That's a great one.
Oh, this is fantastic.
Go, Sam.
Alien.
Aliens.
Goes to me?
Yeah.
Let's go with Ghostbusters.
Ice Storm.
Nice.
Alien 3.
Ghostbusters 2 I always blank out on this one
How about
the classic movie
Oh yeah
Here it comes!
Oh shit!
It starred Leif Garrett.
Are you out already?
Really? On Sigourney Weaver?
As soon as you guys name it I'm gonna go fuck it.
I always blank on this one.
How about...
You know, she was in...
A Fish Called Wanda.
No, the stage play version.
That's not my answer.
The stage play version.
All right, you're out.
She played the understudy.
You're done.
Harlan?
Avatar.
God damn it!
And in production doesn't count Sam
That's okay Alien Resurrection
Let me get three out of four of those
Jesus
I don't think I can remember the names of the other ones
Year of Living Dangerously
Good film
The Pol Pot Classic
You're out!
For answering
or jokes.
Harlan.
Do we have to know
the name of the movie?
Yes, we're looking for
the names of movies
that have
Sigourney Weaver
in them.
The Matchmaker.
Jennifer Love Hewitt, Gene Hackman, Sigourney Weaver.
Oh, sorry.
Quiet audience!
Sorry, correct name of that movie is Heartbreakers.
That's what I said.
That's what I said.
What did you hear?
We heard the Janine Garofalo classic, The Matchmaker.
You guys have cookie dust in your ears, man.
I said Heartbreakers.
I know.
Back me up, crowd.
Come on, heartbreakers.
I saw that in a double bill with Fish Called Wanda.
It was a Sigourney Weaver.
Marathon.
Yeah.
I'm out.
It's you two now.
Yeah, you're out.
Sorry I couldn't come up with Alien 7.
Dave.
Oh.
Working Girl.
Copycat.
No, no, Working Girl had not been said yet.
Cabin in the woods.
Nice.
Tadpole.
Sam's gonna win this game Deal of the century
Oh, that was waste
I pulled his ace
You have three seconds
Oh, do I?
Graham, do you have any plugs?
Yeah, we're going to be raising money
for a podcast documentary on Kickstarter
that Doug is going to be in.
We already did some interviews at the podcast festival,
so we'll be announcing that in the next week or so.
So look out for that.
We've got a bunch of great interviews at the festival
with Aisha and Mark Barron.
It'll be awesome.
So look for that.
You got anything?
Nah.
Do you want to call it a draw?
Sure.
Yeah, I can't think of any more.
Oh.
Is she...
Are we 100% sure she's in The Banger Sisters?
I've never seen it,
but I know she's not one of the sisters.
Is she?
No, it's Susan Sarandon and Goldie Hawn.
Manage point.
Snow White, A Tale of Terror.
Death is coming. Holy shit. Susan Sarandon and Goldie Hawn. Manage point. Snow White, A Tale of Terror. Death in the Night.
Holy shit.
Wow.
What?
It's a Netflix original.
Oh.
Yeah, she's a tough one though.
We did miss some obvious...
There's always obvious answers that get missed.
Goddamn it.
Yeah, it's a fun game.
Totally, I could have said Avatar 2.
Kidding.
That's going to do a prediction.
All right, so Sam gets to go first
in the Leonard Mullen game.
Yay!
Yay!
Who said that?
Yay!
Yay!
Yay! Yay!
Tonight, I'm getting rid of
some long-standing categories.
Gasp.
Is that a rule? Gasp.
Like Doug said, I'm
executing a baby.
I think there would have been a bit more shock at that.
Executing a baby thing.
I don't know.
There may have been no shock at all because they probably
would have thought I was kidding, but in this case they know
I'm serious.
I am really executing
categories. No, it's just ones that
it's hard to get people to pick
them, so these guys
are going to basically be forced to
because there's not a lot of options
but we'll start with the
Sam will get to pick from
three categories
and then we might have to repeat as we go along
alright
and then
we'll go to Harlan
who will be second now
sounds like there's a skirmish outside And then we'll go to Harlan. We'll be second now.
Sounds like there's a skirmish outside.
That's what I like in a comedy club is enough quiet to hear
outside skirmishes.
Because it might skirmingle with us
at any moment.
Sam. Yes.
We shot a zoo.
It's a category
nobody ever wants to pick because it's about movies that have
hunting in them. I see.
Yeah. I have a bunch of Hollywood
liberals on the show
that don't appreciate a good hunting movie
like they do here in Florida.
There's a lot of lizard hunters Hollywood Florida liberals 16 candles that's films
that were released 16 years ago yeah 16 years is that 16 years ago as of 2013?
As of right in the zone
we're in right now.
So 2014?
Like 16 years ago.
Okay.
Probably down to almost the week.
It was probably a Christmas release 16 years ago.
Oh, I see.
I love it.
And then your third choice is Life Takes Visa
and that's movies where someone gets deported.
Someone gets deported?
Always gets a laugh, never gets chosen.
I'll take it. I'll go for it.
Life Takes Visa, someone gets deported.
All right.
Yeah!
Send them the fuck home.
Send them the fuck home.
Someone gets deported in this movie from 2011.
Three stars from Leonard.
He says about this movie that it is vividly brought to life
and that it is...
Oh, the script is written by the director
and another person.
Oh, so someone wrote the script.
Okay, good.
And also directed the film,
but wrote it with another person.
Yeah, there you go.
Clues are never supposed to help.
And there are
nine names.
Did you give me the clues again?
Three stars.
Vividly brought to life.
This movie where someone gets deported
from a script
by the director
and another guy.
And I'm not even committing to the director and another guy. And I'm not even committing
to the director being a guy.
The director and the guy.
I'll say a negative one.
Well,
I can't expect anything less
than for Sam to come out
swinging on Harlan Williams.
Dear sweet Harlan Williams.
Do you have any idea what this movie is, Harlan?
Don't say it.
Yeah, don't guess it.
But do you think you have an idea?
Because Sam has bid negative one.
That means he can name the movie
and the top billed performer
in the movie, according
to Leonard Maltin.
You'd have to go negative two
to outbid him.
Or tell him to name it.
Name it and then hope he's got the wrong movie.
Oh, I'm not a fan.
But he's pretty good at this, I should say.
All right, I'm not allowed to say it.
It's a real game.
I'm sorry, I'm not that good looking.
I just work out.
I don't know.
I had to take a shot because at this point,
it's not a game of you and me playing.
It's a game of,
can you tell Harlan
to name the movie faster than I can?
I know your tricks. All right, you tell Harlan to name the movie faster than I can? I know your tricks.
All right, so, all right, name the movie.
Again, is it Inception starring Leonardo DiCaprio?
What?
I'm so stunned.
Like, the confidence was like, I knew you were going to say exactly what it is,
and that is incorrect.
There you go.
C.
Yeah.
The motion picture is called Like Crazy,
and it stars Anton Yelchin.
Oh, okay.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
I thought it was Fast and Furious Nation.
Yeah, Felicity Jones gets deported
because she fucks up and doesn't do...
Awesome.
So Harlan Williams is on the board with one point.
That's a good thing.
He's going.
No, no, of course.
You know, Sam's an intense player.
You gotta take your chances. Yeah. You went for the fences. You gotta take your chances
Yeah
You went for the fences
You gotta take your chances
He was kinda deported
He was kinda deported
He was
When he kept falling
in those different dreams
he kept getting deported
That's awesome
You've been deported
I try not to make it
like a reach
A lot of people
suggest categories
where it's like
they put words in there that I'm like, well, that's
really, how do you, like, movies
where people are really bummed out.
I'm like, well, what do you mean, what people?
Like, all the characters are sad?
Like, what are you talking about?
You make reaches
all the time with these categories.
No, no, it's always like where someone
loses a leg or something. It's very specific.
And then you see the movie and somebody loses a leg.
This guy lost his leg right here.
This guy.
There you go.
There you go.
What's your name?
Adam.
How'd you lose your leg?
I was born.
All right.
Give Adam a round of applause.
Yeah.
Okay, I'm straight.
So first of all, he didn't lose his leg, Graham.
Who fucking stood up?
Don't make it like I'm some asshole picking on you.
He was born without it.
But I mean, he was born without it.
What, you're giving it to me?
Okay.
He's giving you his leg?
I'm now playing for his leg.
I defend the defenseless, Doug.
He seems pretty able.
He jumped right up when we called him legless.
It's like Jaws 3D is happening for real right now.
Come on, somebody throw a cookie at that guy.
Come on.
Graham was holding up that foot
like it was a prize, like he just won a soccer match.
Yeah, I won the trophy as a foot.
Adam, do you want an enormous Rice Krispie treat?
Oh, that's a good trade-off.
There you go.
Don't throw it!
You should have thrown it.
That's when you should have thrown it, Sam.
You would have just frisbeated at the dude.
Yes, I should have thrown that one.
Can't wait until next year when we bring up
someone that's legless and has diabetes.
He's going to jump up.
Same dude!
Really?
Did you see the size of the fucking
Rice Krispie tree?
Sam Levine torso size.
Remember that.
I'm just telling you, if you eat the whole thing,
that's diabetes right there.
Yeah.
Hey.
Share it.
Careful, Adam.
I don't want you to lose the other foot.
It's a diabetes joke, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a diabetes joke.
Awareness is key.
Thank you.
awareness is key.
Thank you.
It's diabetes night at the Orlando Improv, everybody.
Are you raising money for diabetes?
Nope, just stepping on cookies.
Stepping on cookies.
We're stamping out cookies on stage.
That's right.
At the Orlando Improv.
Sugar is the silent killer.
Remember that.
Let's have a round of high fructose corn syrup shots,
everybody.
Tomorrow, you guys, we're doing a thing where all of us
are going to meet up outside of Disney World
and then we're going to go into the parks
and knock children's ice cream out of their hands.
You have to move fast.
They do have security.
But if you're nimble, you could probably
knock two or three
ice cream cones. You could probably get to the
end of Main Street.
So we only have one point so far, right?
Yeah.
This round you're going to start with Graham and go to Harlan.
That was exciting, though though that Harlan got the
I'm very excited about it
Alright Graham you get to pick
You got it
Would you like Walter Whitey's
And that's movies where you see
Drug dealers in their underwear
Any drug dealers in their underwear
Want to stand up at the show tonight
It's probably the same guy. It is Florida.
Drops his shorts.
Hey, he's got a balloon
of heroin on his rectum.
All right.
A what of heroin?
Too far, Graham, too far.
A balloon of heroin?
Oh, a balloon.
Yeah, that's how you...
I thought you said
a bone of heroin.
I was really going
to give it to you,
but it turns out I'm dumb.
Turns out I'm dumb.
Walter Whitey's Dealer in Underwear.
Read it and weep.
Nobody ever wants to pick this.
I think it's a great category.
Read it and weep.
That's foreign tearjerkers.
Yeah, see?
Some of us like it.
And then your third option is
the Burt K category for Burt Kreischer.
And it's movies where a man screams like a girl.
I'll do the porn cry one.
Okay.
Let's do it. Thank you, one one Okay Let's do it Thank you one dude
Let's do it
This movie is a foreign tearjerker
Three and a half stars from Mr. Malton
From 1997
He calls it an extraordinary film
Yeah
It's interesting throwing on the word extraordinary
and then three and a half stars.
And he says that
the movie's unique and beguiling
and
won some Oscars.
1997.
And there are
seven names listed
how many names
can you get in
Graham Elwood
can you read the things
again
1997
well my phone went dead
but I remember the answer
and the seven names
in order
let's play three and a half stars the answer. And seven names. In order.
Let's play.
Three and a half stars.
Extraordinary film.
Unique and beguiling.
And won some Oscars.
Seven names, you say?
Yeah.
And this goes... It's got subtitles unless you...
Who goes next after me?
I'm seeing some more stupid.
Goes back to Harlan or goes to Sam?
Goes to Harlan.
Oh.
What a strategist.
Does the Pete Holmes guy have a shirt on
that says tits on it?
Or is that pies?
Anyway.
Quit stalling, Graham.
I love that.
I will go...
Ah, fuck it. Let's go zero.
Alright, Harlan, so here's what you have to do.
You guys are being so hard on Harlan.
It's not easy out on the Harlan highway.
It's a shame I can't go negative two.
If you think you know what this movie is, Harlan,
then you could say negative one,
then you'd name the movie and the lead performer in the movie.
Is that something you think you could do?
No.
Then you have to hope that Graham,
you have to say Graham would name that movie
and hope that he's wrong like Sam was or...
Oh, yeah, name that movie.
The English Patient?
Oh, boy.
Can I...
The English Patient
is an American.
No.
Oh, oh.
No, Leif Garrett
directed it.
He is a...
He is of Danish descent.
He didn't think...
Check his long-form
birth certificate.
He didn't think
for a split second
it was Life is Beautiful
with Roberto Bonini.
I think it's occasionally got subtitles,
the English patient.
And it is a tearjerker, but Sam
is right. Life is Beautiful with Roberto
Bonini. That's who your winner is,
ladies and gentlemen. That means Harlan Williams
wins.
That was so easy.
Yes!
This is kind of the only way this could have played out.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Kind of helps to have a spoiler in there.
Yeah.
And also...
The way the game is supposed to be played.
And also a couple of cockies.
Yeah.
You both went negative, but didn't even have the right movie.
And he went zero.
He didn't even have the right country.
Hey, America was a foreign land at one point, you guys.
Fucking Tea Party,
we're taking it back.
Alright, Graham, you and me.
Keep the White House white!
Malton Game heads up in the parking lot after the show.
What's that? Malton Game heads up in the parking lot after the show. What's that?
Malton Game heads up in the parking lot after the show.
Sam, I have a life outside of this. I suggest you do the same.
No, no.
I have hobbies. I surf.
Graham, how is the surfing here in Orlando?
Have you surfed here, Graham?
I have surfed in Florida.
But not this visit.
Not this visit.
Because there's a guy here at the show
that wants to surf
where'd you surf
this morning
oh
how far have I gone
to Coco Beach
yeah so next time
Grav's in town
will you take him surfing
next time
for real
we'll go tomorrow dude
when are you
when are you going
alright
bro
bro date
fucking surfer is only a surfer knows.
Right fucking there, bitch.
I don't know.
See, you don't know.
You can take it back if you want.
Went surfing with this guy,
he just kept calling me bitch all day.
Nice wave, bitch.
We're just trying to serve.
I'm fucking throwing cookies at him in the water.
What an asshole.
So I'm going to throw meat ones so we get sharks.
It'll be a blast.
So we have a couple minutes left over, so let's
burn these categories. Let's keep playing.
Yay!
Who starts, Sam? I do.
Which one would you like?
Screams Like a Little Girl, Dealer in Their Underwear, or 16 Years Old?
Screams Like a Little Girl.
All right.
This movie where somebody screams like a little girl is from 2006.
Two stars from Leonard.
He says this movie is about a group.
six. Two stars from Leonard.
He says this movie is about a group.
And he also says that the
song is full of
cover songs. The song is full of
cover songs? Soundtrack. Pardon me.
The song is
full of soundtracks. Got it.
And
those are, but the songs are all
homage to earlier movies in the same genre.
I see.
Yeah, interesting.
Six names, he says.
Oh, wow.
How many do you think you can get it in?
Six.
I haven't guessed.
That's the wrong year by a long shot.
All right.
So, Harlan, you could force Sam to guess after hearing all six names,
or you could bid five or less names.
All right.
I'll bid five or less names.
He's going five-less, Graham, five-less.
Yeah, I'll go four.
Nice thing.
Four, Sam.
Graham, I would name. Yeah, I'll go four. Why are you saying four, Sam? Graham, I wouldn't name that movie.
All right.
Nobody ever gets to say that, you see.
I don't know why Bela Lugosi is playing all of a sudden.
Graham, Elwood, you're four days.
So what's the category again?
I was thinking about surfing.
Somebody screams like a little girl.
Okay.
It was 2006?
Mm-hmm.
None of the clues are going to help you.
Of course not.
You're going to get this wrong.
These are not the droids you're looking for.
Star Wars.
Maria Therese.
Oh, you did get it.
Star Wars.
It's about a group,
and the soundtrack is full of cover songs
that are homages to earlier space movies.
that are homages to earlier space movies.
Can't believe Leonard only gave it two stars, Star Wars.
Maria Thayer, Columbus Short, Blake Lively, and Adam Hirschman were in this movie where someone screams like a girl.
Is that Hustle and Float?
No.
I don't know why that guess is so funny to me.
But who screams like a little girl in Hustle and Flow?
He punches that dude in the fight in the club.
He punches that, kicks that rapper's ass.
And the guy starts screaming like a girl?
Well kind of, because that was kind of the whole thing
he's like he wasn't as bad as he thought he was
the rapper's like, oh I'm all street
and then Terrence Howard kicked his ass
and then Leif Garrett was the bar owner
Lee Majors was his dad
The movie Lee Majors was his dad.
The movie,
the screamer in question is Jonah Hill.
And then the top-billed person was... Wow, genius!
Justin Long.
It's called Accepted.
But we finally got rid of the Birdcage category,
so I'm very excited about that.
Do you have anything to plug, Sam?
Anything coming up?
I do, I do.
January 14th is a crowded night of television for you guys.
So you're going to start at 10 o'clock
by watching me on an episode of Person of Interest
which I literally got my ass kicked
to be in.
Or to film.
You can watch me get beat up for an hour.
And then... Oh, Graham, are you going to DVR You can watch me get beat up for an hour. And then...
Oh, Graham, are you going to DVR that?
Graham, get on that.
And then you switch over to Conan at 11,
you check out Harlan,
and then at midnight on Comedy Central,
at midnight to watch Dark Eyebrow.
You got your January 14th booked.
Your January 14th is done.
Except no plans.
Lock it up.
I'm not on on January 14th. I'm on January 7th. Except no plans. Lock it up. I'm not on January 14th.
I'm on January 7th.
Well, okay.
Oh, well, then fuck it.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm on this upcoming Tuesday.
All right, so both Tuesdays are full.
Do your own plug, Sam.
Just saying.
Harlan, what's coming up for you?
The movie's coming out.
Check out Back in the Day out in two weeks.
Check out my podcast, The Harlan Highway, at harlanwilliams.com.
If you're Canadian and you're listening, check out my sitcom called Package Deal every Thursday night at 9.30.
If you're living in Canada.
Or book a ticket.
Let's go up there and watch it.
Eugene Levy's on there?
Eugene Levy and Pam Anderson.
A lot of fun. Package deal.
Can you get that online?
You can go online, yeah.
Sweet.
What if I wanted to put on pants and shoes
and brush my teeth and go to a store?
Could I do it that way?
No? No, man. No. You really brush my teeth and go to a store. Can I do it that way? No? No.
Do you really brush your teeth?
Graham Elwood,
what do you got going on, man?
Of course, Whistling Bane shirts are available at ComedyFilmHerds.com.
Whistling Bane shirts.
All my tour dates, GrahamElwood.com.
It's the Walter Mitty of bands.
It is.
We just You should have the Walter Mitty's bands. It is. We just...
You should have the Walter Mitty's open for you.
That'd be good.
They're booked.
Oh, really?
They're a solid band, yeah.
I have the Dancing Edo's open for me.
We got the Boat Cucumber Wires open.
Ask your parents about that reference.
They won't laugh either.
No, no.
No, no.
Here, I wasn't funny then, wasn't funny now.
Oh, goddamn Dancing You're right. Wasn't funny then, wasn't funny now. Oh, goddamn dancing Eidos.
Thank you to you guys
for coming.
What an awesome audience.
Thank you, Orlando.
So much fun.
Where's the person
Harlan played for?
Come get your prize bag.
The rocket mic.
Where's rocket mic?
And again, apologies to you guys.
I mean, Dan and Sam even sound closer to man.
Do I have to read this thing on the back now?
No, no.
They don't get...
That person doesn't get theirs revealed.
Where is he, though?
Where's Mike at?
Where are you going?
There he is.
The guy who lit up his sign.
That's the clue in the picture.
Yeah, here you go.
Pass this down to him or slap it to the stage, Sam.
You know my preference. Sam won the clue in the future. Yeah, here you go. Pass this down to him or slap it to the stage, Sam.
You know my preference. Sam won't even touch it now. Well, I'm trying to hand this
back to Amanda. Okay, you got the
shithead off of there? Yep. His shirt says
fuck you, I'm Batman. That's awesome.
Fuck you.
Fucking Batman.
And Graham, do you have a shithead?
Thank you, sir.
Once again, for Graham Elwood,
Harley Williams,
Sam DeMato,
Thank you, thank you.
Happy New Year.
You can get Whistling Bane shirts
and other Graham Elwood memorabilia
out at the merch table.
And as always, post-holiday weight gain is a shithead.
And vacuums are a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies