Doug Loves Movies - Jacob Sirof, Chad Opitz and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: December 20, 2017Live from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Jacob Sirof, Chad Opitz and Geoff Tate to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice a...t https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seats
With 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves blue bees I found a tiny
Kamau Bell face.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Oh, my.
Coming to you once again from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco.
Oh my.
Oh my.
It's, you know.
This is our seventh city in eight nights.
It's Tuesday, December 19, 2017.
But let's see those name tags.
Did Kumail, did his face fall off of your name tag?
Is that what happened?
Throw him right back on there.
Nice. Good job.
All right, we've got Mr. Pranum's Penguins.
We're going to be talking to you again in a little while, I think.
Gardans of the Galaxy. I like that.
Last Man Shannon. Very good.
From Dusk, Bill Dawn.
I wish that was your whole name, Bill Dawn.
That'd be extra amazing.
What's going on with this?
You've got a pizza pillow that you just wrote Mystic Pizza on it.
And what's your name?
Melissa.
Oh, Malistic Pizza.
I get it now.
Holy shit. All right, that Pizza. I get it now. Holy shit.
All right, that Lego nap man's too big.
You're blocking everybody else?
Well, we got lots of great ones out there.
Thank you, everybody, for bringing those.
And we'll call for you to show them off again later.
Oh, there's a big bottle of Tito's on that from Dust Bill Don.
Oh, you're just giving it to me?
You should put it on there,
because one of these guests might be a Tito's lover.
Yeah, whatever you've got at your disposal, use it.
Sir, you might want to take your tits out as well.
Oh, and then he points to me,
there's four joints tied to the tape to that poster.
That's the best poster in the room for sure.
Yeah, you just sit back and wait for that one to get picked.
Holy shit.
Doug plugs, we've got one more night of Tate crazy nights tomorrow at the Punchline in Sacramento.
Then I'm going to take a short
break for Christmas. Then
Monday, December 26th, we're back
at it. Douglas Movies is
at the American Comedy Company in San Diego
with or without Jeff
Tate. Who knows?
And then Tuesday and Wednesday
I'm doing stand-up at
Improv in Irvine, California.
Bring your name tags to those shows if you want to play.
For all my dates, deets, and links,
go to douglasmovies.com.
That's douglasmovies.com!
Yeah!
That was pretty much perfect.
Nobody tried to showboat on that one.
283 people attended this show last night in Austin, Texas.
That was a pretty awesome turnout.
And I didn't think we could beat it tonight,
but I think we might be close.
So let's just say it right now.
I'm going to be back in San Francisco in January anyway.
Because I'm doing two shows with Sketch Fest in January.
I believe it's the 20th and 21st.
On Saturday, it's a Benson movie interruption
of Fate of the Furious
at the
Castro Theater, so that's going to be
pretty amazing.
And then
the next day in the tiny Gateway Theater,
formerly the Eureka,
we're going to do
a Doug Loves Movies.
So I'll be back in
almost exactly
a month, you guys.
Yeah.
I'm not going to give you a chance to miss me.
Because I'm not
going to be gone.
It's my favorite country song.
SFSketchFest.com, did I say that?
For all your things you need for that.
And I brought...
I managed to put together a pretty good prize bag
under the circumstances,
because we've been traveling from town to town,
and the prize bags have been kind of, you know, shitty.
I've got to be honest with you.
At least what I brought.
You know, my guests always bring cool stuff.
Oh, here's the elf hat that I've been wearing every night.
Somebody threw it up on stage in Orlando.
I guess it's not an elf.
It's supposed to be like a reindeer with a Santa hat.
But this is the joke I've been doing every night.
You guys finally get to see it.
This is what happens when an elf graduates from elf school.
The hotel I'm staying at,
I thought I'd like a nice little bottle of wine.
I do not.
So that's going in the prize bag.
Oh, this is really cool.
This is like a little tiny bobblehead that's Baby Groot.
Everybody loves Baby Groot.
And then a couple of really... These are the coolest koozies I've ever seen.
Like, koozies are generally not cool.
But this one's got tons of Star Wars characters on it.
And this other one is supposed to be like
Chewbacca's midsection.
It's like a fuzzy koozie with an artillery belt
that you could put on your drink.
So those are neat.
Oh, I got my confetti gun in case something exciting
happens tonight.
One of the last remaining Christmassy Peacemaker pipes.
This one has only been used once or three times.
Maybe 12 times, yeah.
And then also, a dude out in the audience
brought gifts for me and my guests
and for the prize bag.
These are two different Pax pens.
Did these say Douglas movies on them too?
They do? Oh my God.
So this is a very special thing from Pax.
Special Douglas movies. Pax pens.
Let's get my guests out here. What do you say?
Let's get my guests out here. What do you say?
You already know who one of them is, but the other two are a surprise,
and they're all great.
Please give a big warm welcome
to Chad Obitz, Jacob Searoff, and Jeff Tate.
Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.
All right, so the chanting thing is catching on.
I couldn't be happier.
Super excited about that.
Christmas taint.
Wait, it's Christmas taint, not Christmas taint.
I'm not doing shows in the Christmas Tate.
It's holiday Tate, Doug.
I try to be inclusive.
Right, yeah, and Christmas is only one side of the taint,
so yeah, there's no reason.
You're right, holidays, New Year's and Christmas.
Let's meet them individually and
chant for one of them at the end.
Save your
chance for the end.
Joining us for the first time
on the show, it's Chad Opitz, everybody!
Hi!
Happy to be here.
San Francisco comedy phenom.
I saw you.
Who were you working with when I saw you?
I think it was here or maybe the punchline.
Scott Thompson.
Scott Thompson, yes.
So I saw you opening for him, and I was like,
that dude, I think he'd be good on Doug Loves Movies.
He's got just the right amount of facial hair.
That's right. To be a great Doug Loves Movies. He's got just the right amount of facial hair to be a great Doug Loves Movies guest.
Was it my Robocop opera that won you over?
That might have been it, too.
Yeah, for sure.
How do you feel like you're going to do it,
a movie trivia against these titans over here?
I'm worried about Jeff.
He's a deep cut guy.
He knows some shit.
What was that? Sally Field, Not Without My Daughter?
That's a fucking reference right there.
Yeah, right? How do you pull that out?
I don't know.
I got a good feeling, though. I know a decent
amount. I'm okay.
Alright. Well, you know, you might be hearing
a chance of Chad, Chad, Chad at some point this evening.
Allegiances could shift.
This could turn into a frat house.
Fuck yeah.
Hey, there's the Santa hat.
What's your say on it?
Raiders.
Raiders?
What?
Why would you ruin it with sports?
You might as well put religion on it.
I'm playing for them, and we're just,
we're gonna just win, baby.
That's the voice of everybody's favorite
prequel apologist.
It's Jacob Searoff!
Everybody's favorite prequel apologist,
it's Jacob Searoff!
I will once again say there's nothing... You don't apologize.
Nothing for which to apologize.
Why would you apologize?
Those movies are amazing.
Yep.
Yeah, you're right.
You finally turned me around, Domet.
That would be easy for me to just tell you I love them
and just leave it at that.
All you got to do is go watch The Last Jedi
to figure out how good they are.
Shots fired.
Yeah, shots.
I spent the last four days in just a nonstop troll battle
on the internet over this movie.
That's a shame.
I invite it, though.
I invite it.
Yeah, I'm just glad that it's still too soon to talk about.
Yeah.
Because there's still people here tonight that have not seen Last Jedi and also don't want it spoiled, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, what are you guys doing with your lives?
I give a month.
I mean, I appreciate you being here instead of at Star Wars.
And so we're going to act it all out for you.
Luke's all,
hmm, no.
No, I said no.
No.
You sure, Luke?
No.
I'll do the other part.
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
Luke.
Come on.
Yeah, so much to say that I can't say,
but I hate it, and you'll find out why in a few weeks, I guess.
I look like I would care, but I don't.
I look like a Star Wars fan, but I just don't care at all about it.
Okay.
Well, that's cool.
Sorry. And I care just enough care at all about it. Okay. Well, that's cool. Sorry.
And I care just enough.
We're like the three bears.
Yay!
Yeah, two of you need to shut up and eat your porridge.
Because I got to say, Jeff Tate is here!
Yeah! I gotta say, Jeff Tate is here!
That chant did not catch on. But it was a nice try.
Yeah, I think you're supposed to chant Tate, not Jeff.
I don't know.
It's not taint.
Stop saying taint.
You're tainting this whole thing.
This is night seven of taint crazy nights.
How are you feeling, Jeff?
Much like Hanukkah,
it'll be a miracle if we make it through all eight days.
I'm running out of juice.
No, I feel good.
I feel good.
I'm ready. I'm rejuvenated. I'm back on of juice No, I feel good I feel good I'm ready
I'm rejuvenated
I'm back on the west coast
That was a little suck up-y
Yeah
Right?
What I do is
I see whatever Jacob does
And then I do the opposite
I didn't say I was on the east coast
But you do prefer it.
But I prefer the West Coast.
Listen, I...
But you know, it's funny.
I did get a tweet today that said...
Did you see it, Doug?
That said, how about as a sequel to Take Crazy Nights,
you do a year off of syrup?
I did not see that, but...
I figured you would have retweeted it.
What a fun campaign.
Listen, I tagged both of you in it.
I just continually promise people
Jacob's not going to be...
And then when people are like,
oh, Doug hasn't said anything about this town,
then you know, oh, Jacob might show up there.
Because he's only going to promote the ones
Jacob's not going to be at.
I don't know.
That might be too complicated.
But Jeff is three and three now.
Three and three.
Three wins, three losses.
But of course, you went up against multiple people
every time.
So good for you, Jeff.
And on a back-to-back,
on a long road trip.
Sports.
Let's talk
prize bag, Chad. It's your first time.
It looks like you brought some stuff. I did. Let's talk prize bag, Chad. It's your first time. It looks like you brought some stuff.
I did.
Let's see here.
We got some delightful 80s-style glasses.
Oh, those are neat.
So you can look like the rad Asian dudes
at the beginning of Big Trouble in Little China
or some shit.
Fuck yeah.
They're tight.
I got some anti-diarrheal caplets
that are thankfully gluten-free,
which is fucking, yeah.
And they're, you know, a Kirkland signature.
They don't put their signature on just fucking anything.
So much better than the pro-diarrhea caplets.
When are you supposed to take those, though?
Is it, like, just to stop from having more diarrhea?
Because generally you can't plan ahead for diarrhea.
That's true.
Oh, you control symptoms of diarrhea, including traveler's diarrhea. That's true. Oh, you control symptoms of diarrhea,
including traveler's diarrhea.
Like, hey.
That's if you get diarrhea on the basketball court.
There we go.
Hell yeah.
Oh, for the sportsman.
That sports reference you get.
They never even call travel diarrhea anymore, though.
diary anymore, though.
I have a VHS copy of Stephen King's
Maximum Overdrive.
Oh, that's very nice.
Yeah. Starring Emilio Estevez,
or as I call him, Martin Sheen's
Better Boy.
When I was a kid, I used to call this
The Mighty Trucks.
Wonderful film.
Great movie for kids.
Yeah.
I also include some man rinse.
Yeah.
Wildly varying reactions on those two items.
How do you think I maintain this mane?
It excludes extracts like grapefruit seed, green tea, and papaya.
Just like a man.
Man rinse.
Is that used man rinse
or is it brand new?
This is used man.
This is a used man.
And I also have some pug slippers.
Delightful pug slippers here.
Isn't that adorable as fuck?
Those are a couple of cuties.
I got a question, Doug.
Have you ever met Doug the Pug?
Who's that?
That's an internet sensation.
Doug the Pug.
It's a pug named Doug?
Pug named Doug, dude.
And people love him?
That should be a buddy cop movie
with the two of you, I'd say.
Oh, I'd love that.
We make Turner and Hooch
kill him at the end.
Hell yeah.
Ah, shit, I haven't seen that yet
oh no
I didn't say
who you kill at the end
that's a good point
Jacob
Jeff was kind enough
to share his bag with me
okay so I gotta
give me the other thing first
this is a
some kind of water bottle.
My good friend Guy Branum
has a show called
Talk Show the Game Show.
Have you guys ever heard of that?
Yeah.
We started comedy together
here in San Francisco
like 15 years ago.
And now it's his own TV show,
which he did not invite me
to be a guest on,
but he invited my friend
Natasha Leggero to be on it.
And she didn't want the bottle,
so she gave it to me.
And I don't...
You know, so...
Now someone else can have it. And this is also just a
true TV hat that was also from that same
bag.
And, oh, oh, and I got a DVD.
I got Spider-Man on DVD
because I fucking hate every Spider,
every Sam Raimi Spider-Man. I don't even know why I have it.
I hate all the Sam Raimi Spider-Mans.
And it's not the best.
Actually, Homecoming's the best one.
Homecoming's the best one. Instantly. Don't you think? I thought it was instantly the best Spider-Man. That's the best one. Homecoming's the best one, instantly.
Don't you think?
I thought it was instantly the best.
Yeah, it's good.
But anyway, so there's a Spider-Man DVD.
And then I found these outside,
which is just really fortuitous
because we're in the Bay Area.
These things you put on your car windows,
you know, like the flags.
And there are these awesome Golden State Warriors.
These awesome Warriors flags that I found.
So I guess just... Really? Really? golden state warriors. These awesome warriors flags that I found. So,
I guess just,
really?
Is it just because
Steph's hurt
and you guys don't like him anymore?
So this is some,
yeah,
so I got these
golden state warriors.
Those are just
dirty sports flags
off of the street?
Yeah,
you can put them on your car.
Dirty sports flags?
They're dirty,
they're dirty sports flags.
Can't believe you guys don't like the Warriors anymore.
I'm from here, man.
I'm a city native. I support them.
All right, thanks for this stuff, Jacob.
Jeff?
All right, here's what I got.
First,
I have
a
bottle of
Cabernet Sauvignon
Kendall Jackson
from the hotel room
where we're staying apparently it's really it's a
really nice hotel and I don't drink so
you're a wine connoisseur I don't then I don't think you'll like this
let's sell this at gas stations.
So, well, you upsold yourself right out of a free half bottle of wine,
so get her something imported.
Go ahead and put it on her tab, too, not mine.
And then I have a copy of my album.
It's new.
It comes out on January 12th.
But I got some with me.
Yeah. You can make on January 12th. But I got some with me. Yeah.
You can make a night of it.
That is a nice combo. Thanks, Jeff.
All right, so yeah, somebody's getting a couple small bottles of wine.
Wait, the hat? You just have a hat in the bag. That's your hat.
Oh, no, the rest of the stuff in this bag is mine.
I thought there was more stuff coming.
I got CDs for sale after the show, too.
They're in here as well.
Ten bucks over here in the lobby.
Yeah.
Yeah, for Jeff's CD.
Ten dollars. It'll be the least expensive thing you've paid for all day.
It's San Francisco.
I'm from Ohio, and we just read about you.
Apparently the cost of living is high.
Same.
All right, I got a couple questions for you guys,
starting with...
Starting with Jeff.
What was the last movie you saw?
Did you see a movie today?
We were flying today.
I did not see one today, but I got one in last night.
It's on VOD.
It's called November Criminals.
Hate the title, but tell us more.
It's an unbelievably bad title.
And the movie has nothing to do
with either of those words.
I do not know
when it takes place. They're never like,
what a weird November. They never say,
they never
fucking timestamp the movie.
But it stars Ansel Elgort, yeah, Baby Driver,
and Chloe Moretz, hit girl.
But they're in high school, so suspend your disbelief.
And their friend gets murdered,
and then they try to solve it. It's like that, but it's
like not...
I liked it.
It's got the... It's a terrible fucking
title, but it was a cool mystery,
a fun... I liked the story.
Those are
charming leads.
David Strathairn
played the fella's
dad, and Catherine Keener played played the fella's dad.
And Catherine Keener played the hit girl's mother.
Oh, man.
Good film.
It was a good cast.
Yeah, solid cast.
November Criminals.
November Criminals.
All right.
Dumb name.
Good movie.
At least they released it just in time for... December.
No, they didn't.
They put it on VOD in December.
Because if they put it out last month,
everyone would steal it, watch it for free.
You don't want to put bad mojo out.
You don't want people thinking that that's a good way to be,
November criminals.
You don't want to act like you support that behavior
as a VOD distributor.
Jacob?
I'm actually
really glad that I saw a movie since Star Wars, because I saw
Star Wars twice, you know, the first two days it was out,
and I was, like, not wanting to come on here
and not be able to talk about it. But yesterday I watched, for somehow I had never seen Logan, and I watched Star Wars twice the first two days it was out, and I was not wanting to come on here and not be able to talk about it.
But yesterday I watched, for somehow I had never seen Logan,
and I watched that for the first time.
Oh, yeah. You watched on TV?
I watched, yeah, like Amazon or something.
Yeah. And?
I guess people are very apathetic about that movie.
They just really wanted me to talk about Star Wars.
No, it's just been a while since Logan came out last March.
Yeah, I want to talk about it now.
I'm glad you got to it
and you enjoyed it. I did. It was great.
It's Wolverine, but he
says fuck.
Shit, I also watched Logan yesterday.
Did you really? Yeah.
Before November Criminals.
That kid's rad. I don't understand why the other kids
don't speak Spanish.
Because they're all from the same Mexican hospital.
But they all seem to...
Anyway, but it was a good movie.
I mean, that is a good point.
I never thought about it.
Right?
But the one chick, she could only speak...
Yeah.
She was bad.
It's not like the language you speak is hereditary.
That's more of a nurture situation.
Yeah, because they were raised in a Mexican hospital
that they had never left,
and she spoke Spanish,
and the other kids didn't.
Nell talked like a wolf.
Because that's who she hung out with,
was wolves.
I never saw it.
Just see the Jungle Book, same thing.
Really?
He's busting out Nell references.
I told you he was a deep cut dude.
Who's talking about Nell in this day and age?
Jacob, had you already purchased tickets
to see Star Wars twice
before you saw it the first time?
Yeah, a friend of mine did.
I actually flew up to Oregon, to Portland,
just because I have a Star Wars best friend.
And I flew up there.
His name's Jeff Hughes.
He's a great guy.
Is Star Wars gay marriage legal in Oregon?
If it were and I could be top, no problem.
I would marry Jeff Hughes in a heartbeat.
He's a great guy.
But, yeah, I flew up there just to see it with him.
Kind of because I knew I had bad feelings about it.
No.
No.
Cheesy joke intended.
I had a bad feeling about it. Get it? Nobody? Star Wars?
Okay. But
I thought maybe this is a way for me to get excited about it.
You know, seeing it with this guy who's
because he's not as
anti-Disney or
jaded about the Disney thing as I am. So I thought that
would make me like it more. But God, I just hated it.
Jacob, literally no one is as jaded
as you about those things.
You could just walk to the theater and sit next to anybody
and they will be more excited
for the movie than you are. I did love The Force Awakens,
but it's funny because we had to sit in separate
rows because it was a crowded theater.
And when we stood up at the end, I looked at him
thinking we both hated it. And he goes, now they're
getting it right. And I was like, I fucking hated
it. Are you kidding me? That was the worst.
That's the worst thing happening that's not
Trump in the world right now, is that movie.
But I flew out of state to see it, and he had already bought
two tickets to two shows.
I knew I had to see it. I'm gonna go see it more.
Probably like four or five more times, just to hate it
more and more and more.
Because I have to be ready to have these conversations for the rest of my life.
Are you sure you like Star Wars?
Yes.
I am.
I'm very sure.
That's how much he likes it.
I mean, Jeff, you've been talking about
giving it another looks,
because you were not sure if you know
how you reacted to it,
or how you feel about it.
We saw it in Orlando,
and it was super late after a long day of travel,
and I want to see it again
earlier
in a day.
And whatever day I see it, I want to see it before
1130.
I want to not have been awake for
16 hours and cross the entire
country.
So you're blaming yourself for not loving
it. Yeah, I'm
willing to entertain the... I'm willing to entertain the...
I'm willing to take some responsibility
that I didn't care for it.
Maybe, uh...
I'm gonna say something.
If that movie had been a sequel to Spaceballs,
I would have loved it.
Because it feels like that.
It feels more like a Spaceballs movie than a Star Wars movie.
That's my favorite Star Wars movie, is Spaceballs.
Well, then you're gonna love this one. It's emo Spaceballs movie. That's my favorite Star Wars movie, Spaceballs. Then you're going to love this one.
Emo Spaceballs.
Alright, Chad,
what was the last movie you saw?
I watched the festive holiday classic
Beverly Hills Cop.
I love that movie.
It's a perfect film.
It's a wonderful feature.
It's got a great soundtrack, too.
Oh, yeah, the Neutron dance.
Yeah.
Pointer Sisters business?
Yeah, everybody's doing the Neutron dance.
They are.
He's, like, hanging from the back of a truck,
and he's, like, going around corners real fast.
Axel Foley, the hero of the movie, might die,
but it's all set to the music of
the Neutron dance.
It's the kind of fucking soundtrack
you want to tuck your dick between your legs and dance.
It's a real
treat.
You want to do the Buffalo Bill shuffle?
I was just concerned about Axel Foley.
He seemed like a likable character.
It would have been weird to kill him off
in that first sequence.
Especially with the Pointer Sisters. He seemed like a likable character. It would have been weird to kill him off in that first sequence. It would.
Especially with the Pointer Sisters.
Oh, brother.
I've watched that movie like two weeks ago.
It's wonderful.
Jeff, do you think there's a movie we could bring up
that you won't tell us when you watched it?
Only if it's not within the last two weeks.
I only feel compelled to mention it if it's very recent.
Because here's what I did.
I wanted to find out how long it took Axel Foley to solve that case.
And he is only in Beverly Hills for one and a half days.
He has that hotel room for one night.
And then by the next night, he's just like, did it.
You're welcome.
And then he leaves.
Yeah, in Beverly Hills Cup, too, he hangs out at a mansion for a few days.
Yeah, for like a week.
It takes him forever.
It's like, solve it already.
Yeah, because he's got a free mansion.
He's got to pay for this room, though, so he fucking does it real quick.
He put the bananas in the tailpipe on his hotel bill.
You take those bananas.
Those are expensive bananas.
Yeah, he gave them to him for free, didn't he?
That's right.
All right.
But you liked it, Jeff?
You like seeing that movie again?
Yeah.
That was Chad's movie.
I know, but Jeff saw it within the last two weeks.
Right, right, right.
I love it.
It's got this cool song called the Neutron Dance.
And I'm just a big fan of science, so...
Did you answer the question, Chad?
I did, yeah.
What'd you say?
Beverly Hills Cop.
Did you answer the question, Chad?
I did, yeah.
What'd you say?
Beverly Hills Cop.
Are you shitting me?
I saw that like two weeks ago.
Is that the one with the Pointer Sisters song?
It is.
Like the Adam dance or something?
I may have mentioned on the show that I started watching The Boss Baby.
Today on the flight, I finished The Boss Baby.
Yeah.
And I didn't mind it.
It was fine.
I was like, you know,
it started to get some award,
some nominations for Best Animated Film of last year
and I was like, what?
Because from the trailer
I didn't think it looked too entertaining.
But it's really
it's kind of like an action movie.
You know, it's animated, but
it's got a lot of action in it for a movie
about a baby.
Yeah, I don't like babies
or jobs, so I never
felt like seeing it.
I just don't want to watch a movie about a pushy
baby. I think they
get away with enough as it is.
They're already very demanding. Without having to be the boss of anyone.
Always trying to grab that
lady's boobs.
They should be taken down.
Or whatever. Those little Frankenbabies.
I forgot to pay
attention if the boss baby sexually harasses anybody,
but I don't think he does.
Because he mostly interacts with his older brother
who's a young boy.
He's not the boss of him.
Kid employee.
You thought just saying Kevin Spacey would be enough?
Just bringing him up. Hey, Kevin Spacey. be enough. Just bringing him up.
Hey, Kevin Spacey.
Try to work that in somehow.
Boss baby driver.
And of course, Jeff is, you know,
he's coined a phrase that is just taking over the nation.
If you time out, if you pick a song
to let you know how long your shower is,
it's called baby showering.
It's also the name of a specific kind of party, but you know what I mean.
Yeah.
It's just a real, it's what, like, I read about it in one of Dale Carnegie's books about successful people.
It's one of the seven secrets of highly successful people is getting your shit
together and not just taking a forever
shower.
Okay, Jeff.
You've had
approximately
24 hours,
maybe 22 because of time zones
to think this through. Do you have another best movie Maximally 24 hours. Maybe 22 because of time zones.
To think this through.
Do you have another best movie I've never seen?
Yeah, there's this movie called Slow West.
It's a cool western movie with Michael Fassbender.
And it's written and directed by the lead singer of the Beta Band.
Right? You remember them? Oh, wait a second. I saw that two weeks ago. The lead singer of the Beta Band. All right.
You remember them.
Oh, wait a second.
I saw that two weeks ago.
Are you serious?
It was a good movie.
No, I saw it when it came out, and I liked it a lot.
All right.
The slow part is a little dishonest in the title.
It's a little slow, but when things happen, they happen.
It's pretty exciting.
Yeah.
They go west. It's good Western.
Good Western. Alright.
Jacob, do you have one for me?
I'm going to try. I hate this because
it's so impossible. Take a shot at it. Good luck.
Yeah. I feel like there's a chance
I got by you, but did you see David Lynch's
The Straight Story? Yes. Fuck.
Yeah. You know,
as much as he aggravates me,
I'm a David Lynch completist.
I'll see anything he does
but not always
enjoy it.
I'm way behind on Twin Peaks series.
I'm about an hour in.
But I think I'll finish it
someday.
Did they get picked up?
I think they got picked up for more.
I don't think if they...
Yeah, I don't think he's...
It's kind of his call.
I think it's like...
Is it?
If he decides he wants to do more,
I'm sure they're ready.
All right.
Something got picked up for more, I heard, but...
Stranger Things.
No.
The Office. What'd you say, No. The Office.
What'd you say, Jeff?
The Office.
They're bringing it back, yeah.
But not with...
Steve Carell's still not in it.
So what's the point of that?
Oh, I don't know.
It's a bad idea.
I don't think they should do it.
Just make a fucking new show.
You know, they're like,
hey, we brought back Will and Grace.
Look how great it's doing.
Yeah, with all fucking four
people that were in the first time.
Yeah. Then bring back
The Office. No Steve Grell. You think
that's going to work?
I don't. I'm talking to you, NBC.
Oh.
Oh, if I'm playing the part of NBC,
then my answer is yes. Why won't you answer me, NBC?
I do think it'll work.
And also, we're going to...
If they're going to bring that back, then bring back Cheers
and also put me on that.
That'd be nice.
Although Ted Danson's on Curb Your Enthusiasm
to just get picked back up.
Yeah, they're going to do another season of that.
So he's busy.
And you're going to need another ex-alcoholic
bartender
who's always drinking bottles of water
and zooming the ladies
right
I could be a combo
Sam and Woody where I'm like
because I'm also fucking stupid
I don't know what this dance you're doing
has to do with anything.
Looks like the gopher at the end of Caddyshack.
Yeah.
It's the seventh day,
and I'm running out of things to do.
You'll make it, buddy.
We're gonna do this.
All we got is a sack punch.
That's all we got to worry about.
It's going to be fun.
Going to get dabbed out in the parking lot.
Please do not notify law enforcement officials.
How about Arden Mall?
Here we just do it right out there on Columbus.
Did somebody bring a dab break?
Anybody?
A PAX?
Or perhaps?
Perhaps.
But first you have to answer three questions.
But yeah, I've been dabbed out on Columbus.
But yeah, I've been dabbed out on Columbus.
That just sounds like some drug where you take it and find America.
Enough talk about the boss, baby.
Let the games begin!
You didn't ask Chad for his obscure movie, Doug.
Oh, I didn't?
Okay, we'll ask him after we do this.
All right, lots of options, you guys.
While you peruse, we're going to take a quick message.
There's some in the balcony?
Is there anybody up there?
We'll be right back.
Hey, everybody.
Can you believe that Tate Crazy Nights is almost over?
Just one more show tomorrow night in Sacramento.
Looks like it's going to sell out.
Thank you to everyone who comes out tomorrow to the Sack Punch.
Don't forget, Tuesday, December 26th, I'm back home in Sweet Home San Diego doing Doug Loves Movies at the American Comedy Company.
And then on December 27th and 28th,
stand-up shows at the Irvine Improv.
Like I said earlier, bring those name tags if you want to play.
And speaking of name tags, they've been selected.
So let's get back to the show.
All right, we're back.
And I forgot to ask Chad for a movie,
a best movie I've never seen.
Do you have one?
Dave Foley's The Wrong Guy.
Great movie.
Have seen it.
Fuck.
Yeah, but it's very entertaining.
Very funny movie.
All right.
So the house lights are dimming.
Thank you to everybody for bringing such amazing name tags.
I pointed this one out to Chad
because it just had so much attached to it.
Yeah.
Looks like Christmas morning, this one.
A Twix Trident, some fucking peanut butter cups,
and a Spider-Man fidget spinner.
A J and a little container.
Oh, hell yeah.
And then a fidget spinner that's Spider-Man themed.
Mm-hmm.
And the name on it is Earth Girls
Are Creasy.
And your name is
Creasy?
Ha ha!
What's your name?
Cree? Oh, okay.
I've heard that name like once before.
And you and Jeff
are in the spaceship
And I'm a sensual Gina Davis
Snuggled up to
Cree as a erotic
Jeff Goldblum
I love it all
I love everything about this
Very well done
Good luck Cree
It's Chad's first time so we'll see what happens
Oh shit Oh no It's Chad's first time, so we'll see what happens. Oh, shit.
Oh, no!
It's so beautiful.
Jacob, who are you playing for?
I am playing for Star Wars The Last Jedi-Anne.
I'm assuming her name is Diane, or it's just Anne,
and she added it to the end of Jedi.
But I think it's Diane, right?
Yeah, we had Last Jedi-Dianne on, I think, the first night
in Orlando.
It was appropriate, I think,
for, you know,
and she put me on it, and Gaios on it, and Tate's on it,
and some people I don't recognize
are on it, and she's, I think, what's funny is
the best part is that it's surrounded by
kind of these Star of David Hanukkah lights,
but she's
an Asian woman, so I don't know.
The lost tribe, apparently.
Was actually from
the Korean peninsula.
Alright.
Yeah, so I don't know.
Maybe she dates Jews
or wants to.
wants to.
Which city was Deanna in, Jeff?
No idea.
I actually have no recollection of that.
San Antonio.
She had the Harry Potter scarf on.
Oh, it was in the...
San Antonio.
I figured it out.
Thanks.
Real quick, you know what she did?
She taped...
Look how she taped down the shithead.
The hell considered is that?
Oh, yeah.
To make sure nobody would spoil it?
People are really creative with that.
Yeah.
Yeah, anything to make it harder for me to get at.
But, yes, good job.
Jeff?
I'm playing for Steve.
He made the Steve-O-Dead.
They had a bag of weed tape to it.
Like a whole bag.
Yeah, I was gonna say there had to be something more to it than that.
Plus, I like the Evil Dead.
I got the tattoo. It is a good movie, you're right.
Yeah. I got the
shotgun and the chainsaw tattoo on my arm.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah.
So, yeah, you guys were meant to be together.
Yep, he's over there somewhere.
I already forgot.
Can we see how big a bag of weed it was?
I mean, I rolled up the tape around it.
Oh, look at that.
It's like a gram, maybe.
Yeah.
Okay.
It seems pretty good. Plus, I got two joints.
Are you going to save it until January
1st when this shit becomes legal?
Nope.
Or no, wait. You can buy it in stores January
1st. It's already legal.
Yeah. Are they ready? Is that going to actually
happen? I've been wondering about that.
Are the rec
stores going to open?
And there'll still be medical ones too?
I'm going to walk into one and see what happens.
There's sort of your answer.
Yeah.
Each city's going to have different rules.
I've seen it in Denver
where there'll be one door for medical
and one door for rec.
Different things happen to you depending on which one you go through.
Like, on one of them, there's a lady that serves you, and the other side, there's a tiger.
Yeah.
And you don't know.
They switch where the tiger is.
Nothing like keeping pot smokers on their toes worried about tigers.
It's how I stay so fit.
Okay, so that's who you guys are playing for, right?
We got that covered?
Alright. Terrific.
This first game we're going to play
is an audience favorite,
and it's called
Live, Die, Repeat.
Woo!
So,
I'm going to say the name of a movie.
First one of you
that repeats it back correctly
in its entirety
is the winner.
Any pre-guesses?
Dirty Harry.
Why?
We're in San Francisco.
Good.
Good thinking.
The Rock. Why? San Francisco. Good. Good thinking. The Rock.
Why?
San Francisco.
To live and die in L.A.
Why?
Because fuck San Francisco.
Hold on
48 hours
Why?
Because San Francisco is great
I went to Lincoln High School
and I hated it before you even lived here.
Yeah, go Raiders.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
A year off from Searoff.
A year off from Searoff.
A year off from Searoff.
A year off from Searoff.
A year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, a year off, This is for reals, you guys. I'm going to say the name of the movie. Repeat it back.
The.
Lincoln Lawyer.
The.
Last Boy Scout.
The. The... Last Boy Scout. The...
Conversation.
Last Starfighter.
Last Jedi.
Godfather.
The...
Godfather Part 2.
The...
Godfather Part 3.
Force Awakens.
Milk.
Empire Strikes Back.
Is that a movie called The Milk?
The Milk?
Probably is.
The...
Best of times.
The...
English...
Patient.
Patient.
The English patient. The English patient.
The English man who went up a hill and came down a mountain.
That's a good one.
I'm sorry.
The English
man
who
went
up a hill and came down a mountain. What's that? English man who went up a hill?
Went up a hill and came down a mountain.
What's that?
English man who went up a hill and came down a mountain.
The English man...
The English man who went up a mountain and came down a hill.
What's that, Jeff?
The English man who went up a mountain and came down a hill.
The English man who...
Ate crumpets. The English man who ate Ate crumpets.
The English man who ate crumpets.
Went up a hill.
The English man who went up a hill and came down a mountain.
The English man who went up a hill.
Who went up a...
And came down a hero.
Hill.
a... And came down a hero.
Hill.
The Englishman
who went up
a...
The Englishman who went up a hill and came down
with a cold.
The Englishman who went
up a
hill
but... The Englishman who went up a hill but came down a mountain. Hill.
But.
The Englishman who went up a hill but came down a mountain.
The Englishman who went up a hill but came down a mountain.
Jacob Wicks.
Really?
What the fuck?
Yeah, you guys kept saying ant.
Oh, no.
It's a fucking butt, man.
Jesus Christ.
Wow. And that's like my favorite movie. I can't believe it took me that long to get it. I can Jesus Christ. Wow.
And that's like my favorite movie. I can't believe it took so long to get there. I can't believe, yeah.
It was so hard for you to get there.
Oh,
that was fun.
I enjoyed that. And that
means, yeah, Jeff
just kept saying and.
He knew what it was way before he should have, though.
He told us about a guy who did two things,
not did one but became another.
He went up a hill and he came down a mountain.
He went up a cabin boy and came down a cabin man.
a cabin man.
All right, Jacob gets to go first in...
a massive, game-determining round
of Last Man Stanton.
Game-determining.
You guys are gonna each have one lif lifeline Chad can go to Cree
Jacob can go to
Diane
And Jeff can go to
Steve
Steve-il
Hey Steve-il
Oh there he is
Has your name tag been picked at one of these shows before?
Never.
Never?
What?
Congratulations, man.
I thought you looked familiar.
Turns out you're just another person with glasses on.
But Mr. Pranam's Penguinsuins the name tag in the front
remember when I said we're going to come back to you
because you've been
I assume
I don't know how many Pranams there are in this room
but you're at
Shanker Pranam on Twitter
that's him right there
he was pre-selected
by me to give a suggested name
tonight for Last Man Stanton.
And I don't know why you flipped your name tag over.
Yeah.
What's the name you'd like to suggest?
Jim Carrey.
Jim Carrey.
Okay.
Keeping in theme.
Right.
Okay.
So Jim Carrey is one name.
It feels like we just played him recently,
but let's do it again.
And where is 45th percentile?
Woo!
Woo!
Do you have any kids?
You do? You won?
I hope you mustered up more enthusiasm
when you found out you're having a child
than you did just now.
This is your night out, man.
You're 18 months at home.
You left the boss baby at home.
Are you Canadian?
Yeah.
So you left your baby in Canada to come to the show.
Real class act.
Jesus.
He said it was his night ute.
It's my new ute.
Do you like that movie
A Boot Last Night?
Or Das Boot?
A Boot Schmidt.
Sorry, dude.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I gotta go back and ask
Pranam
a question
What do you do for a living?
I'm a software engineer
Software engineer? No
Have you thought about moving to San Francisco?
Or being Indian?
What's the name of your app?
Is that why you need to become a doctor?
Is that why you have a fake stethoscope around your neck?
Alright What's the name of your app? Did your parents want you to become a doctor? Is that why you have a fake stethoscope around your neck? Alright.
45th percentile.
What's your real name?
Luke.
Okay.
Use the force, Luke.
Luke, this is not going to go how you think you're saying you didn't bring a name
tag he's got a baby you know you're
halfway through making your name tag the
baby shits all over it start over it's
terrible all right so what do you got all over it. You're going to start over. It's terrible.
Alright, so what do you got for us,
dude? What's the name you'd like us to play?
Elizabeth Banks.
That's an interesting one.
I mean, Jim Carrey has plenty
of titles by himself.
Elizabeth Banks?
You don't really need to throw Elizabeth Banks in there,
but I'll try to think of some Elizabeth Banks,
because you know I like to play.
So let me write down next to this one idiot that name.
Next to this nice guy, this really good name.
You're not an idiot. Why are you so into Elizabeth Banks?
It's my night off!
My baby hates Elizabeth Banks.
Oh, you crunched some numbers to come up with Elizabeth Banks? And compare them to the 250 top names in Lock, Lock, and Mojo.
Oh, you crunched some numbers to come up with Elizabeth Banks?
Canadians have so much free time.
And the best name was Brendan Gleeson because of the Harry Potter bullshit.
He's still talking. I thought you couldn't make a sign
Because you had a kid
And all you're doing is studying and shit
We'll make your podcast after this one
Okay
Alright thanks for doing that dude
I guess.
All right, so, like I said,
these guys each have a lifeline,
and they have to name the films of Elizabeth Banks
or Jim Carrey.
We'll start with Jacob, and then we'll go to Chad,
and then to me, and then to Jeff.
Good luck, everybody.
Very exciting.
Jacob?
The cable guy.
Okay.
It's up. It's alright.
Yeah, there's no reason to...
There's no reason to applaud.
No reason to not applaud, either.
It's just like first pitch of a baseball game
It is what it is
But you know
Clearly you guys have a favorite here today
And that's rude
Chad
Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Whoa
Balls out with that full title.
I'm not even sure what to say after that,
so I'll change it up.
I'll go over to E. Banks.
See what she's up to.
A little movie called Pitch Perfect. Pitch Perfect.
Role models.
Role models.
Role models.
Don't recall Jim Carrey in that.
So I'll assume that E. Banks is in that.
Yeah.
She is.
What is that company she does those commercials for that I never understand what's happening?
Realtor.com?
Wow, that guy knew it real well.
She must be in his
spank banks.
Where are we at?
Jacob?
Yeah.
San Francisco.
We got a lot of software designers that moved here from other places.
So why not go with the 40-year-old virgin?
Chad?
He's Ventura, too, when nature calls.
Oh, see that one.
Wait, is there a two in it?
I don't know. I'm going to take his word for it because he said it so confidently.
Yeah, but
that When Nature Calls part,
that's a good,
it's one of the better subtitles out there.
But
no subtitle Just a number
Pitch Perfect 2
Jeff
Dumb and Dumber
Jacob The best Batman movie ever made Jacob
The best Batman movie ever made
Batman Forever
It had the Kilmer in it
Kilmer was a good Batman
Chad
The Mask
Controversial for some reason Yeah why Chad? The Mask.
Controversial for some reason.
Yeah, why?
I'm going to say the best Mr. Popper's movie,
Mr. Popper's Penguins.
You can turn that around again now.
Show everybody behind you.
I'm more excited about all those penguins than I remember Jim Carrey being.
I'm way more into it.
Penguins!
Liar, liar.
Jacob?
Jacob?
That's what that one is called, huh?
I'm going to go with...
Why not?
Bruce Almighty.
Boy, they hate you. That was almost like...
Why are they...
They're fucking stonewalling.
I mean, it's not an impressive answer.
No.
None of these have been impressive.
Well, it was pretty fun
the way 40-year-old Virgin came up.
That was fun.
That was tonight.
Chad, you got another one The Truman Show
yes of course
I'm so excited to be
doing Fate of the Furious
at the Castro
yeah the Castro is one of the great
old movie palaces.
Reminds me a lot of
the Majestic!
Oh!
Can I come to that show?
Can you put me
plus two?
It's gonna be me,
myself, and Irene.
Oh!
Oh!
I really thought you wanted to come. Oh, god damn it.
Jacob?
There's just, I was thinking there's just no way
to come up with a joke for Eternal Sunshine
of the Spotless Mind.
I wanted to say something, but Jeff had a good one.
I was like, just say it.
Yeah, you just sort of got to say it.
Yeah, just get that one out.
All right, what do you think, Chad?
The incredible Burt Wonderstone.
Oh!
Yeah, that's hard to work into a sentence.
Yeah.
Well, this is working out pretty good.
Like, Jeff's doing great, and Jacob's doing great,
and Chad, you kick ass, too.
Oh, what a sweetheart.
Thank you, man.
Damn, that was good.
Yeah, that was good.
That was fucking good work.
That is...
Is it my turn?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes, Jeff.
Yes, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jacob. I had one but man in the moon I forgot it
alright that's almost what we're doing
All right, that's almost what we're doing.
I guess you're changing it to... It's improv.
Chad?
After that last answer, you better take a walk of shame, Jacob!
Walk of shame. Yeah, that was a movie
that E. Banks did.
It's true. Very bad.
Yeah, it looks like we have, uh,
we're up to the number 23.
Ooh! Sorry. Yeah, it looks like we're up to the number 23. Oh.
Solid.
It's the 24th one we've named, actually.
I was hoping it would be close.
Jeff. Hunger Games
The Hunger Games
That's a bummer
I forgot about those
May the odds ever be in your favor, Jacob.
Yeah, may they.
Just stalling here.
The Hunger Games are tough because of the titles.
Yeah, I mean, that's kind of all this is.
Yeah.
They have specifically...
He means the numbers and the subtitles.
You know Jeff.
Jeff's just having fun.
It's been seven
crazy nights.
You gonna get extra crazy tomorrow night
at the sack punch, Jeff?
Thinking about it. I am thinking about it.
What would that entail?
Like, would you drink an extra coffee or something?
Cocaine.
Oh.
Road trip, everybody.
I think there's six tickets left.
God, I hope there's
no... I don't know what the part two is on.
Hunger Games Catching Fire?
That sounds about right.
Is that the full title?
Yeah, I don't think they put the numbers
in there. Except
I take it back.
Do they? Don't worry about it.
I accept Hunger Games catching fire
Chad
Take your time Chad
Two hours of future people
Making fun of Jay Leno
The Hunger Games mocking Jay
Yes
Hunger Games
Two mocking Jay Is that Hunger Games 2
Mockingjay
I think I know what you guys are
getting at
and
yeah those confuse me
so you might want to withdraw that
and try something else
because I can't tell you if you're right or wrong
Wet Hot American Summer
oh there you go.
I just got something I want to do real quick.
Earth Girls are easy.
Yeah, baby.
Yeah.
Earth girls are easy.
Yeah, baby.
Yeah!
It's right under our noses.
Just like Jeff's cocaine.
Your turn, Jeff.
Oh, fuck.
It is. All right.
I can do it.
Hunger Games, Mockingjay, part one. Oh, I can do it. Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1.
Oh! There you go.
Nice.
Now we know what Jacobs is
going to say.
The Hunger Games
Mockingjay
Part 3. No, Part 2.
Hunger Games Mockingjay
Part 2. That was a close one.
Chad? That was a close one Chad Does Jim and Andy count?
No
It does not?
Well maybe
Yeah alright
You're right it's out
It's a movie
It's a documentary
Where
There's parts where Jim Carrey talks as himself.
A lot of it is Andy Kaufman, so I wouldn't count that part.
But okay, we'll go with that.
Good answer. Good job.
I'm going to go all the way back to early Jim Carrey and say, once bitten.
Yeah.
That's good.
Jeff?
Are we up to movie 43 yet?
Oh.
Which one was in that?
Oh.
Jacob.
Diane, you got anything?
Lifeline time?
Do you feel like you have something, Diane?
You can't just quiz your lifeline, though.
Yeah.
No?
Yeah.
Do you have anything, Diane?
Yeah.
Okay.
What do you got?
I'll go to it.
Power Rangers?
What?
Which?
Is that even Diane?
Is that the right?
I don't think that's where Diane was sitting.
It is Power Rangers?
Which Power Rangers?
Which?
Who?
Lee Banks is in a Power Rangers?
And it's just called Power Rangers?
It's just called Power Rangers?
All right. Thanks. And it's just called Power Rangers? It's just called Power Rangers? Alright.
Thanks.
What are you going to do?
Can't ignore the facts.
Wait, oh, Chad's going to his lifeline now.
Oh, shit.
Just seeing if there's something.
Chad.
She's got a tip of the tongue.
Oh!
The next three days.
That's what it's called?
The next three days?
Wait, you did a whole sentence like we've been doing?
She did.
She did.
She did.
Get a little gag ready.
The listeners can't hear that.
But she was really leading up to it.
She said, let me think about it for the next three days.
Good job.
All right.
I got to dig pretty damn deep to come up with something on this one.
I'm taking Pitch Perfect 3s off the table, you guys,
because it is not open.
Yeah, aw is right.
So I gotta get into some Jim Carrey,
and I gotta say...
The... into some Jim Carrey and I gotta say The Deadpool.
The Deadpool?
Oh, nice.
Wow.
Clint Eastwood's Harry movie where
Jim Carrey plays a
rock star guy.
Like, he's supposed to be like Axel.
Not Foley.
Jeff!
Jeff!
Elizabeth Banks is in that movie, The Ten.
See?
A few people agree.
Jacob?
It's tough.
I'm definitely out of Banks.
No more Banks.
I feel like there's like ten Jim Carrey movies we're not thinking of.
Yeah, there's a few at least.
He did so many.
Nobody in the audience help, please.
Keep it to yourselves.
Take it with you back to Canada.
Oh, I think I got one.
Wait, I'm trying to just think of the title.
I have one, I just want to think of the title.
Okay, say it.
Title, title.
Wait, wait, wait, because they might have titled it funny.
Tate, Tate, Tate.
No, no, no, this is worse than not doing it.
Was it just called...
I want to say, was the movie just called The Grinch?
Then it was called How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Or are you not going to give it to me?
Is it How or is it The Grinch Stole Christmas?
It's How? Okay.
All right.
You're a mean one.
That's great that that came up Cause this is a Christmas episode of the show
Chad is anything happening for you over there buddy?
Rubberface
What?
Rubberface That's a movie ever heard of Rubberface?
That's a movie?
Yeah, that Jim Carrey did.
Like before it once bitten.
Called Rubberface?
Uh-huh.
Alright.
It's a Canadian movie.
Oh, maybe we can have our Canadian friend confirm that.
You ever hear of Rubberface?
I don't fucking know.
I don't know no fucking Rubberface.
Alright, well, I did not... Did not see that one coming.
I'm gonna go with Oh fuck
This has gotten rough
I kinda had one earlier
But I lost it
So I think I'm gonna
I think I'm gonna tap
Yeah
I think that's what I'm doing.
I think I'm
getting out. Cool. Jeff?
Now.
Jeff!
I love you,
Philip Morris. God damn it!
That's good.
How about
I feel so dumb and dumber, Irv, for not thinking of this sooner. That's good. How about, um...
I feel so dumb and dumber-er
for not thinking of this sooner, but...
Uh-oh-ee-ah.
Full title?
Shushy time, shushy time.
Time for you to all shush.
I've got this.
That's the one I thought of and forgot,
and you are incorrect, Jacob. That's the one I thought of and forgot. And you are incorrect, Jacob.
That's not the full title?
Fix it.
Dumb and Dumber 2, Dumb and Dumberer?
So help him with clapping.
No.
Pick something.
Final answer.
Dumb and Dumber 2, Dumb and Dumberer.
I thought it was Dumber and Dumberer.
Sorry, dude.
Really?
Yeah, you're out.
Dumb and Dumber, huh?
I know, it's sad.
Chad, what are you going to do with this?
Silent night.
Oh, man.
Holy night. Oh, man. Oh, no.
Don't sing, man.
I'm going to forget the one I have.
Stop it, Doug.
Stop it.
Nope, nope, nope.
Don't, don't, don't.
No, come on.
Say a title, God damn it.
Chad, say a fucking title.
Oh, goddammit.
Is it Dumb 2, Dumber 2, Dumber and Dumber?
What's that?
Is it Dumb 2, Dumb and Dumber?
No.
It's not?
No.
Is it my turn?
Jeff.
You guys, I think it's called Dumb and Dumber 2.
T-O-O, that is correct.
That's it?
What's Dumb and Dumber?
Dumb and Dumber was the prequel that didn't have Jim Carrey in it.
Yeah.
You got prequel fucked.
Again, story of my life.
You guys got preaked.
Yeah.
You got preaked in the ass.
Is this one I've been wondering about for a while?
Since I just won, yeah?
Is it called Lemony Snicket Series of Unfortunate Events?
Yes.
And since it is Christmas, he's in a Christmas carol.
They made a movie of a Christmas carol.
It might have been called Charles Dickens'
No, no.
It's public domain now.
Or who made it?
Zemeckis.
Robert Zemeckis.
Zack and Miri make a porno for Elizabeth Banks.
That's a good one.
I can't believe.
We said Truman Show.
I already said Truman Show.
Fun with Dick and Jane. We said Truman Show. I already said it. I already said Truman Show. Fun with Dick and Jane.
Oh, yeah, Fun with Dick and Jane.
We said 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Liar, liar.
We said liar, liar.
It's a fun game.
Just keep yelling out shit we already said.
Oh, there we go.
Catch me if you can.
Catch me if you can.
Elizabeth Banks is in Catch Me If You Can.
Oh, Slither.
That's a good one. Elizabeth Banks is in Catch Me If You Can. Elizabeth Banks is in Catch Me If You Can. Oh, Slither. That's a good one.
Elizabeth Banks is in Catch Me If You Can.
That's right.
I don't believe all of these, actually.
What to Expect When You're Expecting.
That sounds legit.
That's right, yeah.
I remember that one when that came out.
Great job, everybody.
We did it.
What a battle.
Good job, Jeff.
Jeff Tate's record now for seven nights in is four and three.
Steve, you want to come get your prizes?
Come on up here, buddy.
your prizes. Come on up here, buddy.
There's just like piles of stuff over here for you to figure out how to get
together and get out of here with it.
Yeah, you like those?
No? He doesn't care for those
one bit.
He's taking them anyway. Oh, that's a great idea. He's just gonna leave
them on the street. Yeah.
Now, Chad Opitz, do you want any of this stuff off of this new tape?
Oh, what? Oh, sure.
I'll take some delicious Trident.
You want the Twix? You want the Trident gum?
Oh, Jesus. Thank you.
Can I have the fidget spinner? Yeah.
I'm gonna give that, put that in tomorrow night's bag
I think Sacramento will be very excited
I don't think they have fidget spinners yet
I'll take care of this weed as well
Yeah
Jeff's going after the fancy peanut butter cup.
It's not even Reese's.
That's how fancy it is.
They're vegan, she says.
They're vegan.
Oh, they're vegan?
He throws them away.
Oh, yeah.
Toss them.
I'd rather just be hungry.
So dumb. What do you got to plug, Chad?
Thank you for being here, first of all.
Wasn't Chad great, everybody?
Oh, thank you.
I'm doing a New Year's Eve show up in Windsor at the Barrel Brothers
Brewery with fellow fancy boy Steve Osborne.
It'll be a good time.
And San Francisco Sketch Fest, January 13th at Doc's Lab and the 20th at Punchline.
Yeah, would you like to throw a donut?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
These look really tasty.
Oh, shit! Oh, there you go! Rico a donut? Yeah. Hell yeah. These look really tasty. Oh, shit!
Go!
Ricochet!
Like in Denzel Washington.
Whoa!
Who made these?
These are paper donuts, and I love them.
That is so cool.
I mean, they're not, like, going to give you a paper cut.
They're nice and soft.
It's foam core.
Canada!
Oh!
Knock you out?
I love these paper donuts.
Apologies if I just hit anybody in the face with one
Jacob, what do you got to promote?
I'll plug my super far away date
At the American Comedy Company in San Diego
St. Patrick's Day weekend
Alright, yeah
Just feel plenty of time to get tickets
Yeah, totally
And you know, if you want to argue with me about Star Wars
Jacob, sit off with 1F on Twitter, Instagram
What? If you'd like to argue with me about Star Wars, Jacob Searoff with one F on Twitter, Instagram.
What?
If you'd like to argue with me about Star Wars.
What?
His name's Jacob Searoff with one F.
Guess where it goes.
Searoff.
And, um...
But, you know, on Instagram,
if they start to smell the two Fs,
it'll pop up, right? Yeah, I would imagine.
You'll be alright.
Alright, and Jeff Tate, everybody.
Alright, I like it.
January 12th, I got an album coming out.
You can pre-order it now at all the spots.
All your online distributors.
I'll be at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, Ohio,
January 4th through the 7th.
I'll be at Hyena's in Dallas on January 24th.
The Secret Group in Houston on January 26th.
Lafayette, Louisiana on the 27th.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana on the 29th.
And I am on Instagram at Jeff Tate.
Yeah, it's the only social media spot where I could get just my name.
So I'm going to fucking really lean into Instagram from here on out.
That's going to be my shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, we've been Instagramming little things from our tour,
from our travels.
And we're having a very nice
time, and we got, like I said,
we got one more to go tomorrow, and
I got something to promote, too. Oh,
January 2nd, Douglas Movies is back in LA
at UCB Franklin at
8 o'clock, and
thanks, you guys, for coming out tonight.
Thank you to Cobbs Cobbs Comedy Club
It's always a great place to do the show
And hey Canadian guy
45th percenter
Whatever your name is
How do you spell diapers?
Do you spell diapers different in Canada?
Yeah
It's the French way but it's the French way, but it's the same.
What?
How's that the same?
All right, well, I just think somebody spelled diapers wrong on the back of their name tag.
Oh, they did?
Yeah, that's not how it's spelled.
D-A-I-P-E-R-S.
Yeah, that's not right.
No.
Dapers.
Yeah.
All right, but I know now.
It's definitely diapers
okay
shit got real political tonight with the shitheads
one more time for all my guests
Chad Opitz
Jacob Seroff
and Jeff Tate.
Buy Jeff's new album.
You can pre-order it in the lobby for $10,
and he'll hand it to you.
It's a real fancy form of pre-ordering.
I'd like to get that early.
Well, I happen to have one right here in my hand.
As always, enjoying a delicious dinner
and halfway in you find two pieces of hair
is a shithead.
And parking lot diapers are a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.