Doug Loves Movies - Jacob Sirof, Dan Van Kirk and Andrew Youngblood guest
Episode Date: November 1, 2018Live from the Punchline in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Jacob Sirof, Dan Van Kirk and Andrew Youngblood to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. F...or a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Enjoy the show.
Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see.
Just Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies!
Okay, you guys are weird.
It's already starting off weird.
Coming to you once again It's been a while since we've played this location
But of course we've been to this city many times
The Punchline in San Francisco!
I apologize to you immediately, sir,
because you're only going to be able to see me
and none of my guests for the entire show.
But you could move maybe up over there or something
if they'll let you. I don't know.
You're fine with it? All right.
I love people that are like,
I just want to see one side of Doug Benson and nothing else.
That's all I want from a show
is half of Doug Benson.
It's Wednesday, October 31st, 2018.
Halloween, you guys.
It's almost over.
We're going to end Halloween together.
It is late, but it's not too late
to show me your costume slash name tags.
Yeah, because some people are both Rambo,
because your name is Bo.
First Blood Part II. That is a big poster with my face
instead of Sylvester Sloan
do you mind showing the entire crowd this one?
because it is
it is delightful
but now this
Bill O'Ween poster
show everybody that.
What's going on with my face in that poster?
What the fuck is happening?
Wow, okay, Bill-O-Ween.
Wait, what was that big one over there that's gone?
Somebody put theirs down?
Oh, there it is.
Holy shit.
I've seen this before, I think.
It's stop or My Mom Phil Shoot.
Because his name is Phil.
It's one of those standees with Sylvester Stallone and Estelle Getty.
Rest in peace.
Estelle Getty. Stallone's still with us.
He's a ravager Or whatever
He'll be in Guardians 3
Zoo Joey-a?
Okay
Do you know Joe's?
Instead of Jaws?
He's over there
You Joe's and Joey's should get together
Lots of great
what's this costume here
what are you dressed up as
I'm the dead body from Die Hard
I said dude meaning
the guy behind you but
but I do like the dead
body from Die Hard because it says
ho ho ho motherfucker or something
on it
and what's the guy behind you you're just a banana ho ho ho motherfucker or something on it? Yeah, yeah.
And what's the guy behind you?
You're just a banana?
That's the whole joke?
It's like, hi, I'm a banana?
Okay.
I find it appealing.
Thank you guys for all the hard work and effort you put in
to not only having a costume
or a name tag, but being up this late
on a Wednesday night.
Let's start the weekend early, am I right?
Yeah!
To Toes!
Doug Plugs,
this Saturday, November 3rd,
Doug Loves Movies comes for the first time
to the Comedy Cellar at the Rio Hotel
in Las Vegas, Nevada at 420.
Thursday, November 8th, I'm doing stand-up
at Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Arizona.
But bring your name tags for a chance to be a guest
on Doug Loves Movies on Saturday, November 10th
at the Improv in Tempe, Arizona.
Also at 420, of course.
And
DLM is back in San
Diego at the American Comedy
Company on Saturday, November 17th
at 420.
Speaking of San Diego
and the American Comedy Company,
I know a lot of listeners to this podcast
have become very fond of Eddie the Eagle,
the mascot that's on stage there
at the American Comedy Company.
And we've got him on the phone.
We've got Eddie on the phone.
How's it going, Eddie?
Are you there?
Caw-caw!
Hey, Doug! going, Eddie? Are you there? Caw-caw! Hey, Doug!
Hey, Eddie.
It's always great to hear your voice.
Excited to come down to San Diego and do the show in a few weeks.
Hell yeah, Doug!
November 17th, that of course is the Saturday before Thanksgiving.
Yeah. Yeah, how do you feel about Thanksgiving?
A lot of your, you know, your bird brethren, like turkeys,
they obviously don't like Thanksgiving.
I don't like turkeys. Fuck them.
Okay, fuck turkeys, you guys.
They can't even fly. They got ugly ass chins.
They're all obese as shit.
You got a list of things you don't like about turkeys.
Oh, hell, yeah, I got them all.
I can go fucking ripping sparrows and pigeons.
I don't give a shit.
Well, that's sort of the way of the eagle, right?
You're kind of a lone bird out there.
The lone wolf of birds. The lone there. The lone wolf of birds.
The lone wolf of birds.
If you could howl, what would it sound like?
Caw-caw!
It would just sound like the noise you already make.
That's my howl.
Okay, I see.
Well, have you ever been to San Francisco Eddie?
No
I haven't left the wall
Yeah that's true
You're stuck down there
I'm like Jack Nicholson
For a few good men
You want me on that wall
You need me on that wall
Okay
Caw caw
Alright
I mean you're just on the phone,
so I just want you to know
you're losing a lot of people.
There's a lot of people in this room
that weren't following that.
Or they're busy ordering
their first round of drinks and apps.
And thank you guys for being patient, though.
What a great night to stand outside, though, wasn't it?
Like, the weather tonight is amazing,
and I can't wait to be back outside
with all of you
that want to hang around afterwards
and do the sort of things that we do outside.
You gonna get high like an eagle?
Oh, I...
I forgot you were there, Eddie.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to do...
A little Steve Miller band there for you, Doug.
Well, I appreciate it but you know
As an American Eagle
Don't you stand up for
Aren't you against
I stand up for the rights and liberties of all Americans
Like the liberty and the rights to get fucking high
Okay
That's good to know
That's great
I appreciate it
Okay alright I mean San Diego's in the same time zone But there's a time delay I guess That's great. Caw, caw. Okay, all right.
I mean, San Diego's in the same time zone,
but there's a time delay, I guess,
on this call to San Francisco.
Hang on, you guys are going to sneeze.
God bless you.
Thank you, yes.
That was a sneeze.
What does it sound like when you sneeze, Eddie?
Ka-ka-choo.
Ka-ka-choo, ka-ka-choo.
I can't help it.
I just look up at the sun.
All right, well, we're going to keep the phone line open, Eddie.
So anytime you feel like chiming in tonight,
by all means, you know, say something.
I'm happy to, you know, be there for you.
I mean, is the San Diego,
is the American Comedy Company even open tonight?
Nope, we're dark.
Okay.
We're dark.
You're my only friend.
All right, well, that's, yeah,
now you made everybody feel really sad.
But it's good to have you here,
and I'll see you in San Diego soon.
But like I said, just hang out tonight.
All right, you got it.
Thanks, Doug.
Okay.
Cool!
Wow, you sound like he's leaving.
Like, that sounds like... I'm just signing off for the moment. Okay. Cool! Wow, you sound... He sounds like he's leaving. Like, that sounds like...
I'm just signing off for the moment.
Okay.
Cool!
Okay, just a momentary sign-off.
Okay.
All right, so, yeah.
We'll probably hear from him again.
I brought some prizes for the prize bag.
You guys know how this works.
I had to fly here.
So, you know...
I mean, I guess now I could
just give you guys weed.
Because
you heard, right? Out of LAX
you could fly with up to an ounce.
Yeah. And they're like,
we're not going to, you know, we're not going to
vouch for what happens to you wherever you're going.
I'm like, well, are you going to call ahead?
You're going to rat us out? Or are're going to keep your nose out of it?
The Punchline here in San Francisco
gave me a lovely Punchline t-shirt
that's going in the prize bag.
Yeah, in addition to a Douglas Movies t-shirt.
And I got this recently,
one of those buttons that
makes people feel guilty if they're not
going to vote.
This one says this is a wake-up call.
Which is weird
to get a wake-up call from a button.
But it happens.
And then this is a cool...
Do you know
Ziggy Farms?
It's like a case you can put a bunch of pre-rolls in.
I didn't put any in there.
It's empty, but it's one of those ones that when you open it, it flips right open.
It's very classy, very stylish.
And somebody's going to get all of that stuff, plus stuff brought by my guests.
Should we get my guests out here?
All right, San Francisco.
Give it up for Dan
Van Kirk, Andrew Youngblood,
and Jacob Searoff!
Jacob!
Just look at him.
Just look at him.
I scoured San Francisco to find the three
manliest,
most patriarchal
comedians.
I think I did it.
Let's meet them individually,
starting with the gentleman
who is appearing on the show
for the very first time,
I'm pretty sure.
If you're talking about me,
then definitely.
Yeah.
It's Andrew Youngblood, everybody!
What's going on?
Of course, Youngblood is a great
hockey film
it is
Rob Lowe
and Patrick Swayze
yeah you're of course
familiar with it
because you were
you had that name
your whole life
yeah
yeah
so people always
bring it up all the time
yeah that
the comic book
and the rap group
oh okay
it's all three
I mean you know you probably get a little less grief
than my friend Jim Blades of Glory.
But don't get me started about Willie Slapshot.
But nonetheless, you're here.
You are from Texas Texas the Houston area
you have
you do lots of fun shows there
at a joint called The Secret Group
where we've done
Douglas movies and I've done stand up there
and it's always a good time
it's a wonderful time
and now you're out on tour
I am I'm on tour with Dan Van Kirk
oh ok well we'll talk about him later
this is about you tour with Dan Van Kirk. Oh, okay. Well, we'll talk about him later. Yeah.
This is about you right now. Daniel Van Kirk.
My bad.
This is about you right now, though, Andy.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's talk about me.
Yeah.
So you're on tour with Dan Van Kirk?
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
All right.
That's all we got going on.
Thanks for being here.
Hey.
You know who else is here, everybody?
Dan Van Kirk.
Hey.
Hello.
Hello. Daniel in Van Kirk. Hello.
Daniel in some circles.
From Come People Town.
It's a little offshoot.
Oh.
Yeah.
There is a show called Come Town.
There is.
Let's be honest.
And then you come along with a show called Dumb People Town.
I do.
Were you worried that people would be confused?
I was hoping for it.
Oh, okay.
You were hoping to get some of that cum crowd?
That's the story of my career.
So I hear you're out on tour with Andrew Youngblood?
I am!
Is that true?
It's me and Andy Youngbee.
How's that going? Just hanging out. Oh, the old Youngbee. And how's that going? It's me and Andy Youngbee How's that going?
Oh, the old Youngbee And how's that going?
It's going great
What else is left for the tour?
How many more dates?
So, at the time we're recording this
I have Seattle, Bellingham, Eugene, Portland
And on the 5th, Monday the 5th
I'll be right back in the Bay Area
In Oakland, California
At the Starline Social Club On Monday the 5th, Monday the 5th, I'll be right back in the Bay Area in Oakland, California.
At the Starline Social Club on Monday the 5th.
Is that a good venue?
Yes.
Okay, people like it.
And then San Diego, LA, and Phoenix at Stand Up Live.
Where are you going to be in San Diego?
I will be at the American Comedy Company. Oh, great, Eddie.
Yeah.
Eddie, he's coming, Eddie.
I told him he could do a guest spot.
He's doing a tight five.
He's going to do a few minutes.
Yeah, dude.
I love it.
That's so cool.
I guess he's not on the phone right now, guys.
He probably is.
I was trying to get him to chime in.
I'm here.
Oh, there you are.
Hey, Doug.
All right, hey.
We're going to introduce the third guest tonight, Eddie.
Cuckoo!
It's Jacob Seroff, everybody!
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Good to be here with Danny Van Kirk.
Thanks, buddy.
That means you love me and you're probably in my family
if you're calling me Danny.
Or you're drunk.
Definitely we're not in the same family.
You never know.
So that's what you're trying to say?
Some of your worst memories?
Like your, you know,
when you have a, what do they call it
when you find a memory?
A total recall?
What?
Repressed? Yeah, when you
find a
repressed memory.
You know, you could be in my family because
we were supposed to drive up here
together, then you flaked on me last minute, and that's some shit
my dad would have done.
He's got a better family now.
You big-timed me.
I gotta shoot my pilot band.
Du Bois is over.
I just learned from the dad I didn't have.
What is happening?
It got sad.
Welcome back to dad people town.
It's Halloween.
We're trying to have some fun.
Trying to have some laughs.
Did you notice, Doug, that all the servers
are dressed like
Robin Williams characters?
Yeah, I was going to say none of them are
extremely hairy, but yes.
But yes, they're
dressed as his characters. There's more than one
Mork? There's two Morks. There's a Robin Hood.
Two Morks? Yeah, there's
two Morks. There's Rainbow Suspenders and Space Outfit.
Alright, it's not Robin Hood.
It's Peter Pan. Oh, Peter Pan. Sorry. It's not Robin Hood. It's Peter Pan.
Oh, Peter Pan.
Sorry.
That's a good call.
It's actually Peter Bell. I think similar wardrobe.
Technically Peter Panning.
All right.
Negative one point for Jacob.
But also, there's a guy.
You're going to give me negative two points in a second, because people can't see, but
the guy in the kitchen is just wearing a coffin.
Oh.
The slow reverb
through the audience.
Hold on.
Oh, he's dead.
One of the bartenders
in a twist is dressed like
Wednesday Addams.
Classic Robin Williams.
Okay.
Alright, so
prize bag, gentlemen.
Cough it up.
What do you got?
Dan?
Yes.
Let's start with you.
I have an official beanie.
Oh, man, this is good.
From a promotional beanie from that hit movie.
Everyone knows someone that might have seen it.
Smallfoot.
Oh, Smallfoot is out yet.
I know, but... I heard Zendaya's Michi.
I've never heard of that.
The best thing about the viral video, you haven't seen that?
No.
Zendaya's Michi.
Do yourself a favor.
Look it up.
It's like 30 seconds of pure joy.
Well, based on this movie, I have one for LeBron James in Last Man Standing.
There you go.
He's the voice in that?
Is that the snowman movie?
No
It's about a human and snow people
You mean Bigfoot?
Yeah, but the snow version
I thought it was a snow guy
No
It's a yeti
He's saying yes
He's not made of snow
He's shaking his head yes
You're saying yeti
Yeah, yeti, Bigfoot
Snow yeti
Those are my many names Depending on's saying Yeti. Yeah, Yeti, Bigfoot. Snow Yeti. Those might be names, depending on your lore.
Yeti's in snow.
Jacob.
Okay. Save us.
I, um...
If you have a Yeti in there, I will fucking...
What if Jacob's like,
uh, so this is the last photo of me and my dad?
He died before smartphones
I don't have any pictures of him at all
I don't own a picture of my father
Yeah, he should have held out
He died in like 94, but no phone
Keep going
Okay, died of a heart attack
He was smoking a cigarette half the time
There goes the couch
I brought a really cool
A Q-Fig rocket and Groot
Which, you know has big
big Guardians of the Galaxy fan
but then James Gunn
did all those offensive tweets
and I hate offensive jokes
so I just
I gotta
I gotta unload that
I gotta unload that
I can't have that
in my house anymore
that's actually really cool
good call
yeah
and I also brought
I did the
I was a judge on the roast battle
down at the comedy store there
and they gave me a
a weed beer
you know these things
these are good
I haven't
I don't really fuck
with edibles
but it's like
Lagunitas.
Lagunitas.
This is very
very good beer.
Last time I had this
I was in Healdsburg
and I loved it.
It's good stuff
and I brought a
because I'm an alcoholic
I keep these around
so I brought a little bag
that you can drink.
A paper bag
also known as
a dad koozie.
I wouldn't know.
My dad died before I was 21,
so we never got to have a beer together.
But yeah,
my mother died on Valentine's Day
four years later.
Whatever,
it's not a big deal, guys.
Happy Halloween.
And I also bought this Jedi hat
that I found.
I don't even remember where I found it.
A Jedi Academy hat
from, I believe,
Disneyland.
Oh, yeah.
So if you have a small child
or a small head.
Yeah, very small head.
Check this out, you guys.
And then a bag of microwave popcorn
that was in my Airbnb
that I did last night.
And I bought this
at a Big Lebowski pop-up
in L.A.,
also known as Ralph's,
the supermarket.
Because you guys
don't have that here,
so that's novel
and it's film-related.
Very cool.
We love the pop-ups in L.A.
We're big on the pop-ups.
You sure it wasn't a Wreck-It Ralphs pop-up?
All right, all that's going in there.
And what do you have for us here?
I got a whole bunch, man.
I got a Wooly Willy that I got at the airport today.
Oh, those are great.
It was pretty good.
It took everything I had not to open it. Oh, thank you. I got some hot... Yeah, Wooly Willy that I got at the airport today. Oh, those are great. It was pretty good. It took everything I had not to open it.
Oh, thank you.
I got some hot...
Yeah, Wooly Willy.
Let's just talk about this for a second.
Because it only takes a few seconds to make...
He starts out like a white guy,
but you could turn him into a terrorist in no time.
They even have examples here on the back.
See, look at that.
Well, that's more of a pirate than that guy.
I don't know what that look is.
If you do nothing, he's just a chemotherapy guy.
I'm showing the whole room like maybe someone will laugh.
Yeah.
All right, what else you got, Andrew?
I got some hot sauce from Texas.
Yeah, four different ones.
We got spontaneous combustion.
We got ass blaster.
And then the other ones aren't as funny.
So let's just keep going.
I flew here today, and I got plain crackers.
They're shaped like a plane.
So come on, let's keep going.
The Ritz, you didn't even mention that. They also have no on. Let's keep going. They're rich.
You didn't even mention the rest.
They also have no flavor to speak of.
Yeah.
I got these sticky poop emoji things.
I took my kid to a store and he cried until I bought them and never touched them.
So, I got them for you guys.
Sticky poop is bad.
That means you have GI issues.
Pretty good.
Let's see
What are you, Mary Poppins?
I got a lot in here
I got a lot
I got two more things
I got a couple syringe pens
To promote the movie Overlord
They were giving me Overlords coming up
And this is what they're doing
Yeah, because Nazi zombies love syringe pens.
And then the final thing is I got a little box of beignets
from Brenda's French Soul Food.
Oh, people are impressed with that.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
We're not going to throw the beignets?
No, I think we might just throw them.
They had 9,000 reviews on Yelp, and it seemed pretty good.
All right. just throw them. They had 9,000 reviews on Yelp and it seemed pretty good. Alright.
Let me just
take those out of the bag.
Put them over here.
Put all
this shit in the bag.
Don't need no
plain crackers or some
willy willy. I need a
goddamn beignet.
And I need it now
Alright so somebody's gonna win
All of that stuff
Tonight
But first before that happens
I got a quick question for each of y'all
We'll start with Dan Van Kirk
What was the last movie you saw?
Does Adam Sandler's 100% Fresh count?
No Fuck It is good stand up right great yeah but i don't know if
they got a theatrical release or not is it feature-length it's a special it's a special okay
but if it's like any like any murphy years delirious or wrong i know it gets gets tricky
well i'll move on but i will say it is beautiful and perfect.
Yes, it is wonderful.
Check it out.
The last movie I saw is John Carpenter's The Thing.
Yeah, I had never seen it before.
I saw it last weekend.
I know.
And it's fucking awesome.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Oh, my God, man.
Yeah, they never call out the fact that that one doctor
has an earring
or a nose ring
or whatever
that
I loved that
about it
I think that's
most people's
takeaway from the thing
was it really
what's up with the nose ring
not that stomach mouth
it's really really good
I really enjoyed it
I thought the mood
of it was awesome
the music of it
is great
they also did
a really smart thing
where they're like
yeah we just won't explain
everything to you. You either figure it out or say you
don't like this movie, but we don't give a shit.
I was like, thank you. So I loved it.
Dan, I love everything that you're saying.
Thanks, buddy. But I can't
stop looking at the man
over there that has a Groot on his shoulders.
Now I can't either.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's got a light right on him.
That is brighter than all the lights.
That's the whole costume.
He's just wearing street clothes.
There's a group just sitting on his shoulder.
Good job, dude.
Jacob, what was the last movie you saw?
It almost sounds like a joke, but actually, The Last Jedi was the last movie I saw? It almost sounds like a joke,
but actually, The Last Jedi was the last movie I saw,
but I know that people don't want to hear me talk about that.
Oh, shit.
And how much the Yoda scene embodies
everything that's wrong with it.
So I'm going to go two movies back
and say Four Christmases,
which is a movie I watched for, I don't know,
I woke up and it was on HBO and it was starting
and I watched it and I watched the whole thing.
And it's kind of my The Thing.
It's something that I had been meaning to see
for a long time and now I've done that.
And it was, what was really,
have you guys seen the movie Four Christmases?
I was going to say something,
but you don't take a breath ever.
Oh, well, you never know when DVK's around.
But yeah, I am a big fan of Four Christmases.
I think Jon Favreau's hilarious in it as his bully brother, Vince Vaughn's bully brother.
The scene where they play Pictionary and he and his wife are really good at it is super funny.
It's password.
They play password.
It's got a lot of aggravating, you know, like I don't really like things that are about annoying relatives because I'm always just like, you can just leave.
It's a good twist on it, two divorces and four families.
Yeah.
Here's the main problem with it.
It's shot in San Francisco and all of the family have southern redneck accents.
All four families have redneck southern accents.
That's the main problem with the film.
It's a major problem.
What are they eating at Fisherman's Wharf?
They don't say it's San Francisco.
No, they make a big deal about showing them to San Francisco
and driving over the bridge.
Why do they have Southern accents then?
Because it reads dumb and obnoxious family members, I guess.
And it's like, let's just make them all hicks.
Every single actor made the choice.
Well, I mean, have you been to Hayward?
I worked...
Doug, I worked at the Olive Garden in Hayward.
Well, then you know the accent.
Go Raiders!
But I actually
researched it afterwards, and apparently
Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn had horrible chemistry
and hated each other on the set, and their working styles clashed.
But you wouldn't know it. I thought they were good together.
I thought they were great.
I was so happy for them in the beginning of. I thought they were good together. I thought they were great. Yeah, I thought they were, I was
so happy for them in the beginning of the movie
when they were a couple that figured out they could
just blow off their relatives every year.
Or just go have fun.
Or get divorced, or have to have them every
Tuesday and every other weekend.
I've heard people have to deal with that.
Yeah, the lesson
at the end of that movie that people should
settle down and just be married is bullshit, but I like the end of that movie that people should settle down and just be married is bullshit.
But I like the rest of it.
Andrew Youngblood?
The last movie I took my son to see, Goosebumps 2 Haunted Halloween.
Okay, finally somebody I know has seen Goosebumps 2.
How does it hold up to Goosebumps 1?
And could you kill me right now?
I'll tell you,
I like the book better.
The book is better.
All right, you fucking asshole.
I like the 27 books better than that.
Doug, you and I saw Goosebumps 1 together.
It was pretty bad.
Jacob and I were out on the road together. We saw Goosebumps one together. It was pretty bad. Jacob and I were out on the road together.
We saw Goosebumps one.
What an experience.
I actually, I think, blew a deal with,
I don't know if I told you this story,
with Jack Black because I was in a meeting with him
and didn't hide the fact that I didn't enjoy Goosebumps.
What?
Yeah.
I was developing a project with him and a friend
and then it came up and I said,
I figured I was going to name drop you
and maybe get in with him
because it was my friend
and I was like,
oh yeah,
Doug and I saw that
on the road.
He's like,
oh,
what'd you think?
And I was like,
yeah,
it's good.
And I don't know
why I didn't.
You can't,
when your voice goes up,
you can't be like,
it's good.
It seemed fine
but then later
he pulled out of the thing
and my friend
that was on the thing
with me
was just like,
convinced me
it's because
of the Goosebumps thing.
He blew it for us.
After watching Goosebumps 2, I'll say, with the He blew it for us. After watching Goosebumps 2,
I'll say with the amount of time
that Jack Black was in Goosebumps 2,
I don't think he was a fan of Goosebumps 1 either.
That was not good.
So it just was me then.
He was in four minutes of the movie.
He shows up at the end.
That's it.
Whoa!
Oh, yeah.
You guys weren't going to see it.
Let people waste their money.
No one was going to go see that.
Black fans get disappointed.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
You weren't going to see that.
Why don't you lay out clock in the walls or whatever it's called while you're at it.
I can't handle the googly eyes in the front row.
It's fucking too much.
That guy's creepy generally.
Those are just regular glasses
Great podcast content
It's Halloween
Well he's a black dude
With a bow tie
It's Halloween
Halloween
Alright
Great answers you guys
Thanks
Love that segment of the show
The audience is super into it
Everybody's pumped They can't wait for what's gonna happen next segment of the show. The audience is super into it.
Everybody's pumped.
They can't wait for what's going to happen next. And that's
because I'm about to say, turn it off,
Bert. Let the games begin!
Oh, we got name tags. We got pumpkins.
We got masks. We got costumes.
We got light up shit.
We got candy. We got costumes. We got light-up shit. We got candy.
We got it all.
Pick a name tag, you guys.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
Today's show is brought to you in part by Espresso Monster.
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Back to the show.
Alright, we're back.
I was very civilized. There wasn't any yelling.
The scream lady's shaking her head though. She's very disappointed.
Yeah, you put on a scream mask for the night you expect to get things.
Who are you playing for, Andrew?
Zoo Joey-a.
Yeah.
Yeah.
These guys over here in the costumes.
Mm-hmm.
And you got...
They got me in there in the role played by Jason Bateman.
And, but.
There are a lot of people I don't know.
Jeff Tate is in there, but Jacob Ciro is in there.
As a sloth, the slow speaking.
Oh, okay.
It's ironic.
Yeah, they did some speed blind casting there.
There's a lot of people in there.
They're throwing out a wide net, and they missed me.
Well, you know, it's your first time on the show.
I know, it's my first time.
There's no way.
How could they know?
That would be amazing if somebody made it.
Wouldn't it be great?
Yeah.
Somebody figured that out.
All right.
You can throw that down on the ground.
I mean, drop it, whatever it takes.
There you go.
Jacob, what do you got there?
Some sort of boomstick?
It's a chainsaw of sorts, I think.
And it says Ash J.
I don't really, your name is, I guess,
Ash, referring to Ash versus the Evil Dead.
Right.
I don't know how Ash J is clever in any way.
That's why I didn't pick it.
That's why you didn't take it?
Yeah, that's why.
You passed right by it, but he really got his hopes up,
and I felt sorry for him, so I grabbed it.
Also, it's got this weird setup.
It's like this weird homemade lot of duct tape,
and you've got to grab it on the inside,
and it's still like this whole chamber
where you put your hand in to grab it
is really warm and sweaty.
And that's...
But...
I can see why you're excited to get it.
Well, it looked creative.
At least you could shove a girthy cock in there.
Congrats, you have HPV now.
That's the biggest fleshlight I've ever seen.
Everybody has HPV.
That's what I tell girls.
All right, who are you playing for, Dan?
I'm just a Chicago basic bitch,
and I picked this solely because of that.
Then once I got up here, realized my name was on it.
Your name's actually on it.
I did not know that.
It's the Cruz Brothers starring Daniel Van Kirk
and John Belushi.
It's a Chicago classic, my friend.
It says Dan Van Kirk, not Daniel.
Well, I grow proper when I talk about him.
I almost went with, was it Sophie's Choice over there?
Thank you for Sophie?
Oh, okay.
Well, it worked either way.
You know what?
You got another idea.
Thank you for Sophie instead of thank you for smoking.
Yeah.
That's much better than just bringing a Sophie's Choice poster.
Yeah, so I went with the Cruise Brothers.
A classic film, my friend.
All right.
Is it brothers that you're playing for?
Is it two guys?
No, I think it's just one gentleman.
Am I correct, Cruise?
Let me see that.
All right, so...
To lose their home.
It's fine.
Just put it on the floor.
Trying to move things along.
That lady finally took her scream mask off.
So hot under there.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Thanks for coming, everybody.
Thanks, guys.
It's time to...
Oh, wait.
I forgot about the fucking beignets.
Yeah, who needs to pick me up?
I'd like to try one and throw it.
Oh, I like it. Like a grenade?
Yep.
Ooh, that's a new form on Douglas.
Yeah, just take a bite out of it and then chuck it.
I'm going to be honest.
I might not throw it Nobody even wants it
You ready?
What a guess
I'm getting you kicked out
Don't eat Dan's
You'll get HPV
Again?
Again?
Alright I've devised some games for us to play
And we're going to start
With something called
Purple Rain Man
Yes!
Andrew, this is a game where
I'm going to name the stars of a movie mashup title similar to Purple Rain Man.
It's two titles that fit together beautifully.
I'll name the third-billed people, then the second-billed people, and then the top-billed people in this movie mashup.
And just guess as often as you like.
First person to get it right wins.
It's just between the people on the stage. Sounds good. guess as often as you like. First person to get it right wins. This is just...
Yeah, yeah.
Just between the people on the stage. Sounds good.
Yeah, I mean
these other guys, they know how this game works.
Dan won't stop staring at me. It's fucking weird.
Dan's very competitive.
Alright, coming in in third build,
and this is just between the people on stage, of course,
this movie has Andy Matichak and Tracy Letts.
Yeah, I'll just go right to the second billing.
Second billing would be Judy Greer
and Keaton
Nigel Cook.
I know, what? Indeed.
And then top billed
Jamie Lee
Curtis and
Greta Gerwig.
What is
the movie mashup
title?
Dan?
Yeah, I know.
You got some ideas?
Half of them.
Jacob?
No.
Hold on.
Not yet.
Andrew?
Tracy Lutz has not been in a movie.
He's an amazing playwright.
I don't have much.
He's in Lady Bird. What were the top build again? I don't have much. He's in Lady Bird.
What were the top build again? He was in The Post.
Top build is
Jamie Lee Curtis, so that right there,
you should have the first half of the title.
True lies. And Greta Gerwig
was the star of the second
half of this movie
mashup title.
Halloweener Dog? That is correct.
What?
There's a movie called Wiener Dog?
That is how you
get it done!
Real fans just showed them fuck themselves right now. Real fans just
showed them fuck themselves right now.
Real fucking DML fans
showed themselves. DML? Yeah, dude.
Doug Movie loves me.
Doug Movie loves.
The Yoda version. Doug Movie loves.
DML
is my favorite. Fuckin' it.
Favorite show.
Alright, Dan. You picked that one off.
Yep.
Holla, Wiener Dog.
I can't believe Danny DeVito
didn't make the top three build on Wiener Dog.
But anyway, now let's play ABCD's Nuts.
Yes!
All right.
This game is a spelling game.
Are you familiar with it, Andrew?
I'm not familiar with this one.
All right, perfect.
We'll start with Dan.
Then we'll go to Jacob.
Then we'll go to you, Andrew.
By the time it gets to you You will totally understand this
Or you'll just flail around
It doesn't matter
A big flailer
We're just having fun
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Is a Halloween scary movie favorite
So let's spell Massacre.
Oh, thank God.
Yeah, we don't have time for all those words.
Just Massacre.
We'll start with Dan.
The letter is M.
There's going to be a theme,
but just name any movie that begins with the letter M.
If you match the one I wrote down previous to this show,
you win the whole thing.
Automatically.
Not the whole thing.
Just this game.
Monster Squad.
Great guess.
Not what I wrote down.
I wrote My Little Pony
The Movie.
Is that the full title?
I'm pretty sure it is.
Alright, so now we go to
Jacob and the next letter in Massacre
of course is A. Name any movie that begins
with A.
Well, that's fucked up that you did the My Little Pony thing.
Why? Because that fucked up the whole life.
Because I was thinking like Dan was.
Yeah, well now you get to think something different
Well, no, I'm going with the guess I had
And I feel like, Doug, if this isn't the guess
Then you're actually incorrect
It's going to be a nightmare on Elm Street
No, no, no
No, I went with Annie
Alright, so now we go to
Andrew
Letter S Any movie that begins with S All right, so now we go to Andrew.
Letter S.
Any movie that begins with S.
But we're following a theme, right?
We might be.
We've got My Little Pony, the movie, and Annie.
Little Girl Films is what we chose.
Is that what we did?
You know, you're not here to give it away to everybody.
You're here to just give your best guess.
Andrew's on who wants to be a millionaire.
Well, you know, I thought A and B.
Can't give you a 50-50.
No, I have movies with S's.
I'm just trying to think of, you know, a little girl film with an S.
That doesn't seem like something an adult man should be doing. I know.
I shouldn't be thinking about that.
That's why it's so hard for me.
You can't think of girl films.
God, it's really...
Maybe I should take my pants off.
That might help me think.
Kind of your fault.
If you think it'll help...
Just name a movie...
Superbad. No. I mean, yes, you're right. Just name a movie. Superbad.
No.
I mean, yes, you're right.
It does begin with the letter S.
And it is a movie.
And it's a movie I love.
I was watching it on cable the other day.
I went with Slappy and the Stinkers.
What?
From 1998, let's say.
S is the next letter, Dan.
I didn't know we could do porn.
I don't...
I'm with you until the stinkers part.
I don't remember if there's a the in this.
If there is, can I give you a second one?
I guess so.
Thanks, buddy.
Is it Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, or is it The...
I think that movie's called The Sisterhood,
but I also did not write that down.
All right, well, I'll go...
It's called The Sisterhood.
I'll go Suzy Q.
Oh, that's cute.
I went with From 1972.
Oh, yeah, that classic.
Disney classic, Snowball Express.
Was that when they were doing weird live action films?
Like Apple Dumpling?
Like their entire time they've been a thing?
No, the old weird ones.
They've made a lot of weird movies.
Who's next?
Jacob?
Yeah, huh?
Hey, clearly it's all the presidents, man.
No.
No, I went with...
What?
I went with Annie from 2014.
I literally almost guessed that.
I was gonna say Black Annie,
but it's too racially charged these days
to say the words Black Annie.
Fuck, I saw it in the theaters
and I liked that movie, actually.
Oh, you like Blanny?
Yeah, I like Blanny.
I didn't know if it would be a B or an A.
Oh, it's an A.
An A- I thought.
Andrew, your letter is C.
All right.
I got a little girl's film.
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
Coraline.
Oh.
That's a good guess, at least. That's a good guess at least.
That's a fantastic, terrific guess.
I wish I had written that too.
Because what I wrote instead
saddens me to my core.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Why does that sadden you?
That's Ian Fleming.
Yeah.
Weird ass movie.
R is the next letter.
Daniel?
Oh, man.
Red Dawn?
You know what?
There's some fucking strong ass women out there
that love that fucking movie.
I went with Return to Oz.
Damn it.
All right, the last letter in Massacre
is E, of course.
What do you think, Jacob?
This is your chance to take it all down.
Do you want me to recap everything so far?
Yeah, actually, that was an asset.
My Little Pony, the movie. Annie,
the first one.
Slappy and the Stinkers, also the first
one. Snowball Express.
Annie the Blanny.
Chitty Chitty
Bang Bang. Return to Oz.
And E!
Oh man, it's got to be
more of a kids movie movie Right there you jump in
With the rest of it
Everyone says I love you
E.T.
The extraterrestrial
Fuck
I think he's included in everyone
Nice try though
Yeah, it is
You're right about that
Oh my god, I've got such a Benet hangover Nice try, though. Yeah, it is. You're right about that.
Oh, my God, I've got such a Binet hangover.
That's even a thing.
Is it worth it?
Okay, if you say so.
How about we play a little
Last Man Stanton?
Yes!
Now, this game, of course,
is where we, you know,
get a suggestion from an audience member,
but I decided to change it up tonight.
Tonight we're going to play
Last Man Staunton.
It's the films of Imelda Staunton.
Go.
When Harry Met Sally. Everyone says I love you. No. Go.
When Harry Met Sally.
Everyone says I love you.
No.
What? No.
Pat Chatham's.
No.
No.
We bought a zoo.
You all lose.
Summer in the Sky.
Marley and Me.
She plays Professor Umbridge in the Harry Potter movies.
Oh, shit.
So she's like in a couple of those.
But I was just joking around.
It's Halloween, you guys.
We're having fun.
I hope this catches on.
I think we should get in.
When Let's Make a Deal started, yes, the show that me and your grandmothers watch,
nobody dressed up.
They did that to get the attention of the host.
I want dressing up in costume to be a part of Douglas
movies. Or if you dressed up in
the same theme as your name tag...
I mean, you know it's Halloween today,
right?
Oh!
So that's why a few people
did it. But even on Halloween, only
a few people did it. I know.
I don't think that's really going to catch on.
I wish it would, though. I think they put a lot of effort into their signs.
They don't need to worry about a costume to go with it.
It would be great.
On Halloween it's fun, Dan, but come on.
Okay.
Guess that's how you don't get it done.
Somebody in the audience is sad for you.
I just heard someone...
Oh, don't wreck Dan's dying wish.
What? Oh, shit, I'm, dying wish. What?
Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
Was I not supposed to mention that?
They called you first?
You tell me I have stage four lymphoma on the show.
Well, we'd get written up in split cider, that's for sure.
I was gonna, but you just ruined it.
That's what my mom died of, lymphoma.
R.I.P.
Callbacks are part of comedy.
Oh, man.
That should be good.
You know, I've got Get It Done.
Tate's got Tay Tay Tay.
Every time you say something sad or offensive,
there should start a slow clap that slowly builds.
Wait, so every time Jacob speaks,
everyone is supposed to start clapping slowly?
I don't think I like that.
I don't care for that.
All right.
Where is I?
Keaika?
Keaika, do you love me?
It's the Groot guy.
It's the dude with the Groot on his shoulder.
Babe, we've got to sit under the light.
Is it cool if we sit over here?
He's been balancing that all night.
It's fallen off like seven times.
Have a watch.
He has like some J-Lo boob tape on him.
I thought there might be Velcro, but there's nothing.
Nothing?
He's pretty bad at balancing it on his shoulder.
You got a clip?
He looks like he's at Singles Night at Ruby Tuesday.
Mostly the lamp makes me feel that way.
All right, so what's your name, dude?
Ikaika.
Oh, it is Ikaika.
Whoa, watch it with the anti-Semitism, bro.
How was that offensive?
Because you made fun of his name.
It's got kike in it.
That's his parents' fault.
Hawaii's fault.
You guys are great.
I know it won't catch on, but for tonight
it was great. I think it'll catch on.
Sorry, Doug.
For the listener at home, you should've
fucking been here.
Hell yeah!
Oh, shit.
That was good.
You just handed peanut butter cups to dudes
in old Buzz Lightyear costumes.
You missed out on this shit.
Also, for the listener at home, try listening to it in your car.
Go somewhere and do something.
Don't just listen to it at home.
Get a job and have a commute.
It is weird.
Or listen to it at your job.
That's another great place to listen to it.
Okay.
So, Ikaika.
He gave up on Groot.
He gave up on the Groot.
Put it back.
Yeah, put it back.
Put it back. No. Come it back. Put it back.
No, it's true.
Come on, I'm just trying to make a name for myself.
It goes right on there. So cute.
Alright.
So he's going to suggest a name of an actor
or actress for us to play tonight
on Last Man Standing.
What do you got?
It's going to be Deborah Winger and Natalie Portman.
For sure a Jew.
What was it?
Oh.
I'm telling you, it's just going to happen every time he speaks.
You have to make...
You're right.
You're right.
You have to be more specific.
You're right.
You're right.
What do you got, E?
Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
I like that.
Yeah, everybody's
on board with that.
But also,
we got a show
to do here tonight.
And we don't want it
to end three or four
minutes from now.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, she's a good one, but, you know, I mean, we can't.
Activia is not an answer.
So...
Then I'm out.
I'm out, too.
Where's Joey Harmon?
Come on, Joey.
That's you?
Hey.
Hey, she's...
Your name is Joey? All right. That's you? Hey. Hey.
Your name is Joey?
All right.
What are you dressed as?
A lady sloth.
A lady sloth.
Oh, I love it.
Kristen Bell sloth?
The baby one that she saw in Ellen?
From Zootopia.
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
Me.
All right.
So you promised your brother
That you'd give me a bad suggestion
That sounds bad
Is your brother a bad person?
Fuck your brother, man
What's going on with your brother?
Why is he such a jerk?
Where is he tonight, your brother?
He lives in Chicago
I thought about doing...
I might do the show there someday.
I heard it's a big city.
Alright, so, but since he can't wait for me to come there
and for him to say this terrible name,
you're going to have to say it
while dressed as a sloth.
Let's hear it.
50 cents.
It's like one
movie. Maybe two
movies.
It's more than one movie, but it's still
maybe two movies.
Might be in the
four area.
We got a guy over here. It's against
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We haven't done that enough.
For the listeners at home, that laugh was just for me.
We got a...
Holy shit, we got a disgruntled Jedi in the front row.
I didn't even know Jedis could shrug.
I didn't even know that was in their repertoire.
I thought they just were badasses.
I didn't know they complained about things.
You start moving shit across the room, he's like,
I did that.
I moved that, and also
my pudding is cold. Who's gonna do
something about it?
Also, for a Jedi, I think he turned his
robe inside out on accident.
Well, maybe not. I don't know.
Are they supposed to be terrycloths?
Maybe. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
That was a lose.
I get it.
Where'd you get that at?
Five dollar robes?
Sounds good?
Okay.
Joey Harmon, give us a name that is not 50 Cent.
You know, your brother, is that who it was?
Your brother? He had a good laugh now
Listening to this
He's sitting somewhere in Chicago going
I ruined Doug Lowe's movies
Aren't I great?
So what else have you got?
Colin Farrell?
That's okay I mean the one-two of Colin Farrell. That's okay.
I mean, the one-two of Colin Farrell and Jamie Lee Curtis
should get us through a lively round of this game.
Should.
And we'll be outside smoking in no time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, so who won the last game?
Nobody.
Right.
Who won the first game? Dan. All right, so Dan, the last game? Nobody. Right. Who won the first game?
Dan.
I did.
All right, so Dan, you'll go first,
then Jacob, then Andrew, and then me,
because I like to play along,
and I love Colin Farrell movies.
True Detective was a great one
that lasted for 10 episodes.
Dan, start us off.
I mean,
Halloween 2018.
Okay.
Yeah, it's not going to be exciting
at first, guys. We're going to get there.
And I'll be there when it is.
Alright.
Jacob? I'll take the original
Halloween off the table. Okay.
Great job, you guys. Thanks, buddy.
Andrew? Andrew? Halloween H20. There's a Halloween off the table. Great job, you guys. Thanks, buddy. Andrew.
Halloween H20.
Oh.
All right.
A Fish Called Wanda.
I love that.
Somebody in the audience, whoa.
How did you do that?
Daniel?
My favorite role of hers
because I saw it at just the right time.
Trading Places.
Someone said I hear ya.
It was the perfect time in your life To learn that there are greedy old white men
That's what I meant
That love Jamie Lee Curtis' boobs
Okay so
Jacob
I'm gonna go with Activia 2
No I'm uh
You didn't say the sequels were off limits.
Activia.
Full title.
H2O.
Activia number two, I think is what it was called.
Do you...
A scatological joke that was...
I know you probably have a real answer.
I do, I do.
But keep in mind, you guys, you each have one lifeline.
You can go to your person whose name tag you chose.
You can go to them once. But what do you got, Jacob?
True Lies.
Yeah.
Very good.
I saw that at just the right age.
Yeah.
I'm a girl.
But after my
bar mitzvah when I started lying.
I was like, who is this Tom Arnold?
Andy?
I saw the movie
right around the time
I started jerking off
to terrorists.
You know what?
You're on a good run.
Andrew,
I'm going to go with
Freaky Friday.
Oh, yeah. Nice. Who was the other name? I'll call to go with Freaky Friday. Oh, yeah.
Nice.
Who was the other name on Colin Farrell?
Yeah, we haven't really done any Colin Farrells.
Uh-uh.
I'll drop a Colin Farrell just for the fuck of it.
I'll go The Lobster.
Nice.
Yeah.
That's a messed up movie.
Especially if you have ever reached into a toaster on purpose.
Dan?
Halloween 2.
What?
How did we skip that?
I don't know, but I'll take it.
You got it.
Is she in every one?
Yeah, keep saying them.
You got this, Andy.
She's not in Season of the Witch.
Andy was going to guess that.
Jacob?
Well, you know, I love the racial jokes,
so I'm going to go with Minority Report.
You're not even going to clap for that.
I'm one.
Guys, no.
We've got to set a higher bar than that.
I'm the victim.
You know what?
That is offensive.
I love all of you.
I love that my catchphrase
is from your fucking comedy act.
Andrew?
I don't know a lot. You want to go to your lifeline?
Not yet
I'm not there
Just trying to do something
But
If only I had a phone booth
To call a friend
Well played
He was in a movie called
Call a Friend
I'm glad I don't work
for any of you guys
Why?
Because if I did I'd think you were
horrible bosses
Why?
Oh think you were horrible bosses. Oh. Oh.
Some of you are acting like we're doing a magic show up here.
It's just remembering shit.
It's not that hard.
Daniel.
Yes.
Supper's ready that was
that is the tone
I will go
with
killing of a sacred deer
yeah
so good that's my favorite of his
I know it's weird right it's recent
and a deep cut.
It is.
It's a two for a Jacob.
Well, I usually like to ask the crowd
to give me cocaine,
and I haven't had a chance to do that tonight,
so consider this, that Miami Vice.
Oh.
That's my advice.
It's Jacob's way of asking you guys for cocaine.
Cocaine.
Come on, kite guy.
You owe me.
I know.
No.
I let the one guy start it by himself.
It's not.
It's not.
That's not good enough.
Cocaine.
Cocaine. Cocaine. Cocaine! Cocaine!
Cocaine!
I'm still here, Doc.
I thought you were still here.
I haven't gone anywhere.
Are you a big Colin Farrell fan, Eddie?
I do like Colin Farrell.
He's good.
I watched his sex tape three times.
And what did you, what noise did you make
after the third time you is it?
I don't know.
Are you asking me?
No, Andy.
Stay out of this.
All right, all right.
It's Andy's turn.
Who is he, Jacob?
No, Andy.
Oh, Andy?
It is mine.
What do you got, Andrew?
Why is everyone calling me?
Oh, here we go.
I am going to have to go to my lifeline.
Let's go to the lifeline.
Where's your lifeline?
Where's Joe at?
Joey.
What do you got?
You're the one who suggested it.
You got to cut.
You suggested it.
You better have something.
Don't you kind of hope Joey's like,
my brother said to give someone the wrong answer.
Oh.
Your brother would.
Imbruge.
Very good. Sounds good. Which one was in that movie? Which one of them? Your brother would. Imbruged.
Sounds good.
Which one was in that movie?
Which one of them?
Colin Farrell.
That's probably my favorite Colin Farrell movie. It is an excellent film.
If I had to pick one.
So many to choose from.
Not that many.
Well, I mean, you know.
Saving Mr. Banks.
Is that right?
Yep.
You slid it in so slyly,
no one knew you answered.
Yeah, people are all like,
oh, we're concerned about this Mr. Banks.
What do we need to do?
Can we start a GoFundMe?
It doesn't add anything...
To save Mr. Banks?
It doesn't add anything to the show,
but are you looking forward to the new Mary Poppins?
The Mary Poppins Returns?
Yeah.
With Emily Blunt?
I don't know.
I mean, I'm hearing that it turned out good, but that's
hard to believe.
I teared up
during the trailer.
I don't give a shit.
Think of me what you will.
The Fox and the Hound makes me cry thinking about it.
I love those films.
Wait, The Fox and the Hound you cry cry thinking about it i love those films wait the in the hound you
cry thinking about a pub no that's a that's a deep la cut right there no i mean there's all those
pubs that have that yeah there actually is a lot of pups the fox and the firkin
no that right isn't that at the airport? That movie makes me cry. Okay.
Moving on.
I will go to my lifeline.
Cruz, what can you tell me, Cruz Brothers?
Hearts War.
Hearts War.
Ooh.
That's the Mel Gibson military movie?
Who's in it?
He says, I guess so.
Probably means he looked it up on his phone.
It's got Will Ferrell.
If Will Ferrell counts, this game's going to go a lot longer than that.
It's got Perry Ferrell.
It's got Ferrell's ice cream.
All right, we're good.
I don't know what you're saying.
All right, so he's good
It's a Bruce Willis movie
Jacob
I want to say something I'm not sure about
I'm going to keep it on ice
Go to your lifeline
Daredevil
Who's in Daredevil?
Colin Farrell He's in thedevil? Colin Farrell?
He's in the Ben Affleck
He played Bolzano
Okay yeah
I'll take it
Thank you
Alright Daredevil
Are they clapping for me
Or Daredevil?
I don't know
It's not a slow clap
So I can't tell
Andrew
Andrew are you all done?
I
I'm gonna go
I don't know
I feel like
Jamie Lee Curtis
Was a mom In one of these movies So I'm gonna go go I don't know I feel like Jamie Lee Curtis was a mom
in one of these movies
so I'm going to go
with the little giants
I don't know man
fuck
yeah
I don't know
yeah
are you sure
I'm pretty sure
yeah
I also don't care really
yeah
I mean
it's cool
I'm out
I get it
it's cool that you're out dude it's cool I'm out I get it it's cool
that you're out
dude
it's funny
we were
in the earlier
show
we were playing
Last Man Standing
with Rosario Dawson
and I said
Alexander
and
Colin Farrell's
in that as well
yeah
so that's what
I'm going with.
We're not ready for audience guesses yet.
Dan's going to try to bring this thing home.
I'm probably not going to do it.
Yeah?
You think you're out?
Colin Farrell is in... Yep.
He's the guy who's all like, hey.
Can I ask you
a question, Doug, real quick? Do you think we've
done a majority of Jamie Lee Curtis'
movies? We've
touched on, you know,
she's got a lot more, for sure. Like, what's
one?
Well, if I had to name
one... I mean, if I had to name one...
If I were a person that knew
the title of the
sort of sequel to Fish Called Wanda,
I would say that.
Oh, I just thought of it, actually.
I know what that is. Don't say it, you guys.
This is all Dan is just playing around here.
He's not asking for the audience to help him.
What is that?
But I'm asking for some help.
Eddie the Eagle would like
some help.
Stay out of this, Eddie.
Okay.
I'll be on the wall.
Yeah, okay.
It's San Diego. I'll see you November 17th.
Until then,
zip it.
I mean, I'm not against eating eagle
for Thanksgiving
I can't believe how sad
you guys got
first of all that's a federal
offense
you can't even
own a feather
you're not allowed to eat a painting that's on the wall
in a comedy club no you can't even own a feather. You're not allowed to eat a painting that's on the wall in a comedy club?
No, you can't eat it at all.
Because it's a painting of an eagle?
Yeah, that still counts.
Okay.
Can I set it on fire or touch it to the ground?
No, you can't do any of that shit.
Dan?
Yeah?
You're letting it Like Eddie's
Stalling on your behalf
But what do you got?
I know
Tigerland
Is that real?
Yeah
Colin Farrell
Shit
Is he?
I believe so yes
Wow
Nice pull
Thanks buddy
We'll find out
In two days How wrong I was.
But I really
do think he's in. I think you're right.
Jacob, I believe Colin
Theroux's and I are hookabees.
No, you can't just
wish him into it. No, I think he is, though. Is he not?
He's not in there.
I don't think he is. Are we sure?
Well, no one is supporting you.
True, but probably no one's. No one's even slow clapping.
Well, it's not an offensive guess.
Guys, don't.
He didn't offend any of us.
Give it time.
He'll come back around.
Oh, Winter's Tale.
Ooh.
Yeah, I found out Dan wins. That's how that Ooh. Yeah, I thought
Outdown wins.
That's how that works.
Well, I mean, I'm still playing.
Colin
Over the Hedge.
Really?
Colin Farrell, I believe.
He's one of the voices in that thing?
He's like a possum or some shit?
I really think he is.
Or maybe a talking hedge?
Hey, why'd you go over me?
Alright, Dan, you're our winner.
Congratulations.
That is how
you
get it done.
Fierce Creatures.
People were yelling all sorts of different stuff.
Fierce Creatures is the name of the Fish Called Wanda
sort of sequel.
Of course, Jamie Lee Curtis was in
Prom Night and Perfect.
Seven Psychopaths.
Seven Psychopaths
with Colin Farrell.
Isn't he in Curious Beasts and Where to Find Them? Yes. He he in Curious Beasts and Where to Find Them?
Yes.
He's in Curious Beasts and Where to Find Them, right?
Yeah, and he's in this new Grindelwald's Jingle Girl.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
Swat.
Swat.
Swat.
Guys, how do we forget?
Swat.
God damn it.
I can't believe that.
How did that?
Swat.
Swat.
What about some Jamie movies?
Phone booth did come up.
Phone booth.
I said phone booth.
Halloween Resurrection.
Friday already happened.
All right, we're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
You guys are just yelling stuff.
When you guys start yelling out shit we already said, we're done.
Freaky Friday and phone booth already came up.
Shut the fuck up.
We're done.
We're done.
Yeah.
The idea, Doug, is that someone sat in that audience and be like,
these dumb fucks haven't even said phone booth or freaky frog.
If I was up there, I'd be
crushing right now.
It's true. That's what that guy was thinking.
His voice
got deeper in your version, but
I love it either way.
Congratulations. Where's
Cruise Brothers? Where you at?
Come get your
come get your prizes
you got a
you got a partially
eaten beignet
and then
all these bags
of shit
here
I mean
you probably
pick up some
spare change
on your way home
because people
are going to
think you need it
because you're
carrying all these bags.
Yeah, there you go.
Congratulations.
Love your Michael J. Fox
in Back to the Future costume.
Oh, you're dressed as Stephen Avery?
You know what?
Way to bring it down.
Way to bring it down.
Yeah.
Way to bring it down.
Tried to compliment his outfit and he has to tell it down. Tried to compliment his outfit
and he has to tell the truth.
What happened?
He said he loved you.
Say it, Tug.
Oh, okay.
You're going to say tell the truth
without saying tell the truth?
Tell the truth?
Give me your name tags, fellas.
Does he have a shithead on the back of his utopia?
Her brother didn't say a shithead.
Oh, here we go.
That means it's her brother. Oh, okay. Oh, your brother is a shithead on the back of the Zootopia one? Her brother didn't say a shithead. Oh, here we go. That means it's her brother.
Oh, your brother is a shithead.
That's true.
Where's the shithead on this one?
It's on the back.
I think that's the shithead.
Is it?
Where is it?
Okay, got it.
Wait, no, this?
I agree with that wholeheartedly.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
Okay, well, we'll get to that in a second.
Got any plugs, guys?
I do.
Go ahead, Dan Van Kirk.
Thanks, buddy.
I am on tour right now. I'm starting the second leg
of my tour. If I'm about to name a city
that you're not in, chances are I'm coming there
because I have other legs coming up.
Could you say coming, Les?
Lots of legs. Nope.
I will be
on November 1st
I will be in will you be coming
yes of course
and then I'm coming
to Bellingham
on November 2nd
then guess
check out guys
I am coming
after that
I am coming
to
Eugene, Oregon
oh you're gonna come
oh
then you better be ready
because guess who's coming
I am
to Portland, Oregon
on
on Sunday the 4th
and then I will be back in the Bay Area
at the Starline Social Club
on November 5th.
Come to the Bay Area.
Seating is very limited for that show
so if you're looking at me while I'm saying this
get those tickets at danielvancurk.com
and then on the 8th I will be
at the American Comedy Company in San Diego
on the 9th I will be at the Dynasty Typewriter in LA. Closing
out the second leg of my tour, guess where
I'm coming, guys? I'm coming in
Phoenix, Arizona
at Stand Up Live, and
I'd love to see anybody listening
to this or anybody looking at me right now
to come to my shows.
Thank you very much.
And you know what?
That is how you
get it done!
Oh, God, that feels good.
Not to me.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Wait, let him talk.
He doesn't even plug yet.
It's a man of all commas and no periods.
Here we go.
I love it.
No commas either. There's no commas and no periods. Here we go. I love it. No commas either.
There's no commas.
Straight on through.
Jacob?
Is that the...
If you're not gonna go, I am!
Oh, really, Eddie?
You got something to play?
We got Matt Reif here all weekend,
starting tomorrow, November 1st on Thursday.
At the San Diego Comedy Company?
Yeah, but then hold tight.
If that doesn't wet your belly, guess what?
My beak will fill your mouth
because November 17th,
Douglas movie swooping into town.
So get out your talons and grab those tickets.
All right.
Thank you, Eddie.
Good call!
Good call!
What a great endorsement.
Can we hang up now, though, though Eddie Because it was an expensive call
You'll have to hang up on me
Because I cannot move
Okay bye
Jacob are you doing plugs?
Yeah I'm coming on somebody dressed like
Robert Williams
You don't even know which one are you doing plugs? Yeah, I'm coming on somebody dressed like Robin Williams later tonight.
But
you don't even know
which one.
How do you know
if it's offensive?
It's probably
Wednesday Addams.
It's Wednesday Addams.
And he's dead
and so he's not doing it.
I'm actually
I'm going to take this
my plug time
and do something really weird.
I'm going to do an unplug
because I'm actually
going to attempt
Check out Nirvana. I'm going to attempt I love It's a great band. I've heard of them. I'm going to do an unplug because I'm actually going to attempt Check out Nirvana.
I'm going to attempt. It's a great band.
I've heard of them. I am going to attempt
to quit social media for a month starting tomorrow.
What? Starting tomorrow?
I will assume
if you hate the show or what I've
said on the show, then I'll see you
in December and we can talk about it.
I just feel like it's an issue with me and the phone
and I just made this decision and then I got a friend.
No social media Vember.
Yeah, I'm going to
delete the apps
but not the accounts
and I plan to come back.
I'm going to do
no bread Vember.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I'm not eating bread
for the month of November.
For me,
does it give you anxiety
to think about it?
About not eating bread?
No, I'm fine.
Oh, because for me with the social, it gives me a lot of anxiety thinking about it. I eating bread yeah no I'm fine oh because for me
with the social
it gives me a lot of anxiety
I had some really good bread today
and I feel like that's why
I should do it
tag him in awful things
and he won't reply
yeah I won't
all month long
that happens
all month long
that's just called
social media for me
but I
but yeah
I'm gonna give it a shot
alright
but still
alright so don't look for him
for a month
but please go on there
and follow me
December 1st
yeah
meet up with him and interact it's gonna be like the for a month. But please go on there and follow me and I'll see you in December. Yeah, meet up with him and
interact and whatever. It's gonna be like the fucking
slot machine when I get back on there.
Okay, if you say so.
Like a negative slot machine.
Like if it took your money instead of
getting you money. Okay.
Anyway, but also...
Why was that? I feel like this is
just anti-Semitism at this point.
Well, no it wasn't.
The scream lady's got her mask back on
like she's done for the night.
And I would just like to thank...
What's your name?
Kike something?
I'd like to thank you for having that name.
As a self-hating Jew, that's a dream come true for me.
To be able to perform for you tonight.
So thank you.
Now you're just trying.
Never. You know me. To be able to perform for you tonight. So thank you. Now you're just trying. Never. You know me.
Andrew Youngblood.
Guys, no!
I'm going to be all over
this country coming with Dan
all month long.
You're coming alongside Dan.
I'm coming with Dan all month long.
It's going to be great.
If Dan comes somewhere, you're going to come there as well.
Right before him.
I come first.
He takes a little longer to come,
but he'll get there.
And then you can follow me
on Twitter at NoYoungBlood.
And I launch a new podcast.
It comes out this Friday
called Party Stories
with Andrew Youngblood.
Please Google it.
Check it out.
Thank you.
Thank you, Andrew Youngblood. And Google it. Check it out. Thank you. Thank you, Andrew Youngblood.
And Jacob Seroff and Dan Van Kirk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
As mentioned earlier, all of my dates and deets and links are at DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com. That's Doug Loves Movies.com.
Yeah.
Woo-hoo.
Doug, you have it all up.
Yeah.
Thank you to, please hang up on Eddie.
Thank you to the Punchline Comedy Club and the people of the Bay Area.
And you guys specifically
I'll be back during
Sketchfest in January
and as always
as always, Joey's brother
is a shithead
and wild coyotes
are a shithead
so true
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Bye-bye.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!