Doug Loves Movies - Jamey Jasta, Iliza Shlesinger and Ngaio Bealum guest
Episode Date: October 25, 2017Back at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes comics Iliza Shlesinger and Ngaio Bealum, and Hatebreed vocalist Jamey Jasta to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Californi...a Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Professional.
That's what that is.
You guys nail it every time.
We're coming to you once again from our first home ever,
the UCB Theater in Los Angeles.
Yes!
Always good to be back here,
especially when it's
86 degrees outside.
It's Tuesday,
October 24th, 2017.
This is our 73rd
show this year,
and it's only 10 days
till Ragnarok.
Nine, if you count Thursday night previews.
Word has it that this Thor is the most comedic Marvel movie yet,
and I am so down with that.
I'm fucking tired of seriousness in my superhero movies.
Let's have some fun, right. Let's have some fun.
Right?
Let's have some laughs with Loki.
He's already got a silly name.
Why not have
some laughs? You know what else
I'm down with? Name tags.
There's a guy in the front
row that's got a fucking
box of donuts in his lap.
It's not really a big
enough crowd to be throwing donuts around, but I'll
do it.
If they end up on the stage, I will throw them.
Yeah, I don't know what's going
on with the name tag part of it. What'd you write on
the box? Let's talk about Kevin.
Let's talk about Kevin, and your name is Kevin.
Yeah. And you wrote that on a box of donuts.
I'll take it.
What's this Happy Death Day?
What'd you change it to?
Happy Death Dave.
Happy Death Dave?
And then speaking of Thor Ragnarok,
what'd you change that to?
Thor Samnarok.
Samnarok?
All right, that's cool.
What's this creepiest shit thing going on over here?
It's just a Chucky doll.
It's even bigger than the Chucky doll in the movies.
And he looks pretty fucked up.
And then what's your name?
Mark?
Oh, it says Marky on it.
Alright, if you say so.
I don't know if that's true.
All right, well, it looks like we have at least four name tags,
or at least three is all we need,
because I've got three guests tonight,
so thank you guys for that,
and we'll see how it shakes out.
I feel like that doll's going to end up on the stage,
because it's just so big.
Doug plugs, this Saturday, October 28th,
Douglas Movies comes to stand-up live in Phoenix, Arizona at 420.
Sunday night, we're back here in Los Angeles over at Meltdown Comics,
and I'm doing stand-up on Sunday, November 5th at Cafe Istanbul in New Orleans.
That's also at 420.
Bring your name tags, Nola.
Same for you Tampa
November 18th
San Diego
New York City
Orlando
Houston
Dallas
and more
for all the deets
go to
douglosmovies.com
that's douglosmovies.com
yeah
alright
I see what you did
with that little extra
alright at the end
and I do not approve.
I'm not happy about it.
I might even edit it out.
I might even ruin your little moment.
Don't forget you can purchase Doug Lowe's movies from Atlanta for $1.99
in the comedy album section of iTunes and at DougKnowsYouKnowWhat.com.
Doug knows you know what?
Loves you know what?
Prize bag.
I brought a few things.
I think my three guests probably brought better things, but we'll see.
How does anybody feel about a can of...
I don't even know what the fuck this is
Helles Lager
H-E-L-L-E-S Lager
in a can
yeah it's a warm beer in a can
congratulations
congratulations Marky
when you take that down
we also got a Douglas Movies t-shirt
and that's probably the best item I brought when you take that down. We also got a Douglas Movies T-shirt.
That's probably the best item I brought.
We'll see.
What the hell is this?
Oh, some white sunglasses that you've seen me wear as seen on Instagram.
There's one more thing in here.
Oh, yeah.
A beautiful Christmas pipe from the folks at Peacemaker.
It's finally actually getting close to Christmas.
I've been giving these out since the spring.
And I'm finally almost out of them.
And like I said, we've got three guests tonight who also brought stuff.
So let's get them out here.
Please give a big warm welcome to Ngaio Bilem,
Eliza Schlesinger, and
Jamie Josta.
There they are.
Blanche is here too hello that's so funny what's wrong what greg couldn't hang on to her she's so anxious to uh she loves to get up on stage blanche what are you doing
would someone that beer is not for you blanche go go to the lady go get her go get her you're just gonna let her go to some random lady
in the audience yeah it's a woman i trust her oh yeah okay yeah let a woman hold your dog
that's better than a dude grabbing your oh yeah i mean i wonder if the listeners are wondering why
we're screaming about someone named blanche running around on the stage. Just my naked sister. One of the Golden Girls is loose.
Yeah, but you are, Blanche, you are.
Oh, my goodness.
Let's meet them individually,
starting with our first timer.
Jamie Josta is here, everybody.
What's up?
Thanks for having me.
What's going on?
Lead vocalist of Hatebreed.
Yep.
Yeah.
And many other projects, right?
Yeah, we're going to get brutal on a track.
We were talking backstage.
You already got, you're going to put her on a track?
Yeah, she's going to get brutal.
Yeah.
All right.
She's going to get tough.
Where did you just come from?
You were running late.
I mean, we were running late, too.
Yeah, there's a Loudwire Awards going on right now.
I saw Brian Posehn.
He said to say hello.
Yeah, of course.
And I said, come with me right now.
But Tony Iommi's there and Judas Priest and Megadeth and all these heavy metal legends.
Brian's all about the metal.
So he's hanging out there.
He's backstage like a groupie.
I asked him to be here tonight because I thought he'd have fun being on with you, his good friends, Jamie and Nungayo.
And he was like, no, can't make it.
He didn't tell me why.
He didn't say I'm going to be at the same metal thing
that Jamie's going to be at.
Yeah, I did a song on his record.
I actually did the Gambler.
And we did like metal style.
Right.
And so I'd known him for a while.
And yeah, I was hoping he was going to come by.
But it is like a who's who of rock and metal
over there right now.
So if you want to come back and go to the after party,
you're more than welcome.
This is a who's who of strange ladies
holding people's dogs.
And there's also, I mean,
I don't want to tip you guys off
for the name tag selecting portion,
but there's that creepy thing over there.
So one of you might want to scoop that up.
But thank you for being here, Jamie.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
What's your movie trivia acumen like?
Are you good at that shit?
Well, every time I listen to the podcast,
I get a lot of the answers right.
But I feel like that might jinx me tonight.
Right, and you're just listening somewhere.
You're not on stage with with the
pressure right like i'll be in the tour bus and i'll be in my bunk and i'll be laughing at you
know harry dean stanton acting like he's completely over it while he's here with you and yeah he did
seem like he was over it i don't know why he wouldn't have been excited i mean look at this
amazing situation that we dragged that old man into.
Hey Harry, pick a name tag. What?
Not to speak ill
of the dead. No, it was weird but also
but he'll always be
like, you know,
at least in my mind.
Yeah, whenever someone comes on, just don't go full
Stanton.
Never go full Stanton. Yeah, that'd be great if that never happened again but you know, just don't go full Stanton. Never go full Stanton.
Yeah, that'd be great if that never happened again.
But, you know, you can't count on that.
There's bars all over this block.
And he came in and was like, I want some red wine.
And I turned to a friend of mine.
I said, could you just go get him some red wine?
And they went next door and got him a glass of wine and brought it to him.
That's the Harry Dean Stanton magic.
He didn't submit, like, a dressing room rider?
No.
Nobody gets to do that here.
I, like, ask for regular-sized waters.
Look what the fuck I got.
It's still a drought, Doug.
Is that why?
Yeah, it's a drought.
Drink beer.
Drink beer. It's a drought drink beer drink beer
it's a drought
save the water
or drink beer
alright
Eliza Slesinger
is here everybody
she's got a book
coming out
I do
when's it come out
it comes out
November 7th
okay
you can preorder it now
I don't know when this comes out.
I'm just giving you permission to do that.
It'll be available for people to listen to tomorrow.
Okay, so you can pre-order it, please.
Yeah, pre-order it.
What's the book?
What's it called?
It's called Girl Logic, the Genius and the Absurdity.
And it's a whole book about why women think the way that they do,
personal essays.
And it's funny, I i hope give us a quick
hot take from the book what's uh what's one thing that women think like that you're like what uh
girls be like no but it's just kind of it's about how women have to are expected to be
so many things by the way i have invisalign on for those of you listening at home i didn't have
an accident um like my teeth are weird now um women are expected to be so many things. By the way, I have Invisalign on for those of you listening at home. I didn't have an accident.
My teeth are weird now.
Women are expected to be so many things to so many people at once
and because of that we have to factor in
past, present, and future in every
microscopic decision.
And so this kind of honors that.
That doesn't sound funny. The word honor.
It honors that. Every guy is like, fucking, bite me.
But it's about that.
It's about we can't
just make decisions
because we have to factor in
so many things
and we do it effortlessly
and quickly
and we get called crazy
but we're not crazy.
It's girl logic.
All right.
Two women in the audience.
Thank you.
I like it.
That lady's leaving
with your dog.
Yeah.
She's getting comfortable.
That wouldn't be crazy. It would just be girl logic. Right. It's getting comfortable. That wouldn't be crazy.
It would just be girl logic.
Right.
This dog is mine.
We've bonded.
I love babies.
Dog loves me now.
That's all right.
Speaking of people
that Blanche loves,
Blanche was hanging out
with this other guest
on the show tonight
backstage.
The other guest.
The other.
It's N'Gayo Biele!
Animals like me because I'm good at sitting still.
Right.
You're very chill.
What are the most chill?
They can have all the energy they want.
This is your 17th appearance on one of those movies.
I don't know.
Wow.
I don't know.
I just wrote that down.
I've almost reached my majority.
It sounded right to me.
17th. That's a fine number. That's a lot. majority. It sounded right to me. 17th.
That's a fine number.
Let me know when it's the 419th.
We'll plan a party.
Oh, I like that.
That's a great idea.
Not going to happen.
I don't even know if I'll do enough shows.
We couldn't even get water.
It's not going to be a party.
I don't know how many shows we've done.
I know that's been 11 years.
So that's like 40 shows.
That's at like 40 shows.
50 shows.
Yeah, so.
No, we've done 73 this year.
I just announced at the top
of the show. Let me know when you get to 710.
No, wait. You've probably done that already, too.
Because that would be oil.
I'm bad. Also, if you look
at the
overall arc of this
show,
the seasons,
there's a season that's 25 episodes
and another season that's 200.
Like it doesn't...
Whoops.
Yeah, it's just like,
oh shit, we should declare another season.
Yeah, it's weird.
So...
Now it's fifth printing.
Yeah, exactly.
So I have trouble keeping track of all the numbers.
You stopped it, I have trouble. track of all the numbers. You stopped it.
I have trouble.
I just don't, you know, I don't care that much about that stuff.
But who's counting?
Welcome back to But Who's Counting.
You know, we get to 20 years.
That'll be good.
There you go.
Nine years to go.
That'll be exciting.
Nine years from now, shit's going to blow up.
Past, present, and future.
I'm going to have a crazy- a crazy ass show i'm gonna bring donuts
they're gonna let you eat donuts at your age
that's why i throw them doctors doctors have told me just throw those
don't fucking eat at your age yeah it's exercise and ungaia what'd you bring i know i surprised
you backstage with the prize bag question.
For having been on the show 17 times,
I totally forget that you did a giveaway.
I know.
And I forget to remind the people that have been on so many times.
I brought weed.
And if you win, I will.
Here's the prize.
If you win, you have to go out onto Tamarind, the side street here,
and smoke with Ungayo.
You don't have to.
Consent is important.
Pro tip, he'd probably smoke with you if you didn't win.
If you lose, you have to smoke with me,
and I get really paranoid and weird.
And I talk a lot about death.
So if you lose, it's just going to get horrible.
I was watching Frasier and me just asking if my skin looks weird.
That's me on weed.
Jamie, what have you got for the prize bag?
Top that.
I wanted to be festive and go with a horror collection, an eight movie pack.
The standout is Chud 2.
Wow.
Oh, it's an acronym.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.
Yes.
Wow.
Impressive.
That's actually not true.
Yes.
Amazing you knew that.
Chopping Mall is also really good. Oh, that's a pretty good one.
And 976 Evil 2.
I think everyone
should take the chop-portunity
to watch Chopping Mall.
Chopping Mall is when you're grinding up your ecstasy
with a razor blade.
Oh, and I have a Rebel 8 t-shirt.
You guys don't do drugs?
Me neither. I just heard about it.
You'll find out who does drugs after the show on Tamarind.
I don't do drugs.
I just smoke weed.
On Tamarind.
What else you got?
Oh, a Rebel 8 t-shirt.
All right.
Give me all of it.
Okay.
Yeah, just give it to me.
I'm going to put it in the bag.
I'm going to try to not let it get in the blood that's on the table.
Rebel8.com.
Use code JJ10.
There's a little bit of blood on the table.
What size is this shirt?
Large
Okay, so that's gonna fit somebody
I brought an extra small
Douglas movie shirt
So that's gonna be more like something
You could make a pillow
Yes, exactly
Make a pillow, everybody
Arts and crafts
Stuff it with old t-shirts
Eliza, what do you got for us?
I brought that dog
I found that dog. I found that dog.
No.
I found her outside.
I brought a copy of my book,
an advanced copy.
My book, Girl Logic.
If you feel it,
it's very fancy.
It's not like shitty.
That's how you want to read a book
because the cover feels fancy.
That is a really nice cover,
I gotta say.
I designed it.
Yeah, your eyes match
the lettering of your name. there. Yeah, we didn't
Photoshop them at all.
Naturally.
It'd be so much further
in life if my eyes
were that kind of blue.
Yeah, no.
It's blue enough.
It's not outrageous.
I always wish I could
pull off the center part.
You know, it is,
it's something
in my adult life
that I've come to enjoy.
The center part.
It's severe enough
to say I'm down for enjoy, the center part. It's severe enough to say
I'm down for sex,
but no funny business.
Listen, who doesn't enjoy
the center part?
I want to fuck.
Keep it normal.
Keep it normal.
Keep it cold.
Keep it quick.
Let's go get high
and watch Frasier.
Toss salad and scramble eggs.
Best show on TV. I watch it
every night.
Oh, crispy.
All right, you guys. All that's
in the prize bag for someone
tonight. And
before we get to the games, I got a couple of questions
for you guys. And we'll start with
Mgaio on this first one.
420. No no that's not it
do you want to guess anything else you know what the question is don't you no what was the last
movie you saw oh uh i saw the the blade runner 2049 yeah yeah i thought it was pretty good yeah
it didn't seem like three hours so i'll give it that some people said it felt longer it didn't
seem that long to me um i don't know about some of, so I'll give it that. Some people said it felt longer. It didn't seem that long to me.
I don't know about some of the acting choices,
but I thought that the dystopia and the concepts were much better than, say, Prometheus
in terms of ponderous sci-fi movies.
Okay.
Oh.
Yeah.
It was no American made or whatever.
What?
The Tom Cruise movie?
Yeah, I saw that one too.
I watched on a plane.
I watched Jack Reacher, Never Look Back.
Which one is that?
Is that the one that starts in the bar?
It's the second Jack Reacher of two.
It's called Never Look Back?
Yeah.
It shouldn't be Never Reach Back?
Seems pretty obvious.
It's a weird title anyway.
You're supposed to reach around. Never reach around. You're supposed to never reach around.
You're supposed to reach around.
This is why I like the sex quick and simple.
And the
center part.
Jamie, what about you? Have you seen any movies
lately? I know you're busy going to
metal shows. I do.
I watched Chug One.
Do you still have your wristband
on from the event you just came from?
I literally walked off stage and ran here.
That's awesome.
Besides Chud 2 and 976 Evil 2.
And Chopping Mall.
And I didn't go see Blade Runner just because you didn't like it.
Really?
Yeah, you affected the box office.
No.
Yes, and also I did do this, which seems weird but I said hey can I
watch half now and then can I come back like another day and if you remember me
cuz I can't who can dedicate three hours three hours is long yeah so did you do
that no she was she thought I was absolutely not yeah yeah but I did do
this I went to see it I was getting my tire fixed whoa so while my tire was
being fixed I ordered it to go see It.
And then I said,
can I come back and watch the ending?
Because I had to go pick up the...
Is anything with you just simple?
No.
It's very complicated.
So then I got the tire fixed.
I'm going to hold off on this orgasm for a minute
because I want a sandwich.
But then I'm going to come right back.
And can we finish that up?
You'll remember me, right?
You're like that Chris Rock character.
How about I give you 50 cents for one piece of gum?
One nugget.
One gum.
Oh, and I watched.
So I saw it, and then I saw this movie called Officer Down with the guy from Sons of Anarchy.
Charlie who now?
Tig is his character on Sons of Anarchy.
I'm not a Sons of Anarchy watcher, but is he mentally handicapped?
No, it's...
Because Officer Down is about a guy with Down Syndrome
that's an officer, isn't it?
Good thing I didn't make a joke.
It's spelled D-O-W-N-E.
It's the guy who did Crank
1 and 2.
It's about police corruption, but it's told
with all rabbits.
And it's directed by Clown from Slipknot.
That's a Watership Down joke you just made.
Oh, damn it.
I missed it.
Nobody?
Nobody.
Nobody.
I weep for the state of the educational system.
I got it.
Thank you, Doug.
It's a depressing book and movie about rabbits.
Sorry, I didn't mean it in a right way.
Oh, and I watched Inception again on the plane.
Oh, okay.
Half of it? No, I didn't mean to interrupt. Oh, and I watched Inception again on the plane. Oh, okay. Half of it?
No, I stayed the course.
What happens with the spinning thing at the end?
I don't know.
No, I haven't seen it yet.
Don't remember.
Okay.
Wait, there's a statue.
People have opinions about what happens at the end.
You could interpret it one way or another.
What is the spoiler statute of limitations?
I get this all the time.
Yeah, no.
Inception's been out for over a year.
It's been out for over a year.
Fucking ruin it.
Five years.
Ruin it for people.
If you can, because it has an ambiguous ending.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
You didn't see it.
You didn't see the end.
You went on the flight home all finished.
No, I did.
I did.
But I just, I don't know.
I don't know I don't know
you were like
can I dream
the rest of this movie later
I did watch
Wolf of Wall Street
on the other flight
I was on
you wait
that's three hours
you don't have enough time
that was worth it though
he was on a plane
I would like to see
a cop ask you
do you have an idea
how fast you were going
and hear your explanation
just in general
it's horrible
relative to what yeah relative to what alright and I didn't know how fast you were going and hear your explanation. Just in general. It's horrible.
Relative to what?
Yeah, relative to what?
All right.
That's a good answer, I think.
I don't know what just happened.
Eliza?
Okay, so I feel like so girly now because my answer was going to be it,
but then I realized I too watched a plane movie.
The one going, I watched,
I think it's called Dancer,
and it's about Sergei.
Reindeer.
Yeah, about Sergei.
It's about this Ukrainian bad boy of ballet.
It's actually really cool.
If you've never thought about ballet,
and you're on a United flight,
and you can't sleep all the way to New York,
but it was really fucking dope.
On the way back, I watched this Hungarian documentary
called Kedi Kedi about, I'm sorry, it's Turkish, about all the cats, like the hundreds of thousands of cats that roam the street in Istanbul and how people like collectively take care of them.
It was really sweet.
It's true.
I've been there.
And by the way, it wasn't like, it was all men that they interviewed.
They're like, I take care of it because in past life, I believe I did something wrong.
Like, it's not, it's not like women, like, I'm a cat lady named Beth.
It was like fishermen that are like, you bring cats so you don't die.
Like, manly reasons for having cats.
So it's not like girl shit.
It's like evil eye, fucking gypsy shit.
Fishermen, get you a cat.
Kitty, kitty.
Wow, you really have
an interesting, of all the
things that are offered on the plane,
you pick, make interesting choices.
To the world that I knew nothing of.
Now we know about the cat. That's very cool.
Inquisitive mind. Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah, I just watched
Baby Driver again. Oh, right? So good.
I've seen that like four times.
I just watch it over and over again.
You got to see it,
at least part of it.
It's really good.
Listen,
just listen to the
sound design.
You don't even have
to watch it.
I saw that movie
and I left
and it was,
it's one of those
movies,
if you haven't seen it,
where you want to be
baby driver after
and so I'm in my car,
it's a Civic
and I'm like,
click the e-brake,
pop it
and every time I go
through an intersection, I go, and I'm like, click the e-brake, pop it. And every time I go through an intersection,
I go,
and I pretend to shoot
anybody,
which is alarming
if you're looking at me,
but it feels so good
to pretend to shoot people
while I'm like,
park it,
reverse,
Civic.
The Honda.
I put the soundtrack on
when I get into a car
and see if I can get
where I'm going in one song.
Yeah.
Nice.
Down the street?
Bell Bottoms is five minutes.
So to the store.
All right.
So you guys did great with that question,
but now it's going to get a little tougher.
Uh-oh.
Starting with Ngaio.
It's Halloween time.
Yes.
It's October.
Yes.
People want recommendations for scary movies to watch.
What do you say?
Any year, any time or whatever?
Yeah, any horror, just a good horror
movie or a movie that's scary for other
reasons. I saw...
Just some scary shit. I saw a thing about
Albert Fish one time where they just read some
of his letters and showed some really mundane
and banal photographs, but he was describing
in detail how he
ate a nine-year-old girl, but he didn't fuck
her. And it was one of the most terrifying
things I'd ever seen in my life.
Sounds like a sweet man.
I'm just saying,
if you're looking for scary things, it was
so banal and yet
so utterly horrifying. What's it called?
Fucking the Albert Fish
documentary where he reads the letter
about eating the girl. I don't fucking know.
It was at a festival. There were a lot of movies. I didn't save the girl. I don't fucking know. It was at a festival.
There were a lot of movies.
I didn't save the program.
I also like Cabin in the Woods.
All right.
That's a good...
People can either try to figure out
what that first one was
or just watch Cabin in the Woods.
I'm assuming most of the people in this room
have access to the internet.
Yeah.
Yeah, they'll figure it out.
Yeah, they're smart. The listeners, not so much. Yeah, I don't this room have access to the internet. Yeah. Yeah, they'll figure it out. Yeah, they're smart.
The listeners, not so much.
Yeah, I don't know how they listen to your podcast.
They're going to be like, I don't know what's happening.
I can't even hear this thing.
Jamie, what do you have to recommend horror-wise?
I watched that movie, The Witch, but it's spelled with two Vs.
Oh, yeah.
I see that, yeah.
It's kind of slow V's. It's
kind of slow.
But I liked it.
But they really capture the
time period in which it takes
place. Yeah, they have their own language.
The language is almost like Shakespearean.
And there's a goat
named Black Phillip
who's the star of the
show. You've seen it?
I need Black Phillip merch. I might get a Black Phillip, who's the star of the show. You've seen it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I need Black Phillip merch.
I might get a Black Phillip tattoo.
Yeah.
He's the star.
He's the star.
That's a good movie.
You can just get half the tattoo.
Does Green Room count?
I'm going to come back and finish it later.
I've done that.
Does Green Room count as a horror film?
Yes.
It's pretty freaky and scary.
They keep the tension good on that.
There's a lot of tension in Green Room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll put that on Yes. It's pretty freaky and scary. They keep the tension good on that.
There's a lot of tension in Green Room.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'd recommend it. I'll put that on there.
There's metal in that, right?
It's like punk rock and hardcore.
Nazi punks fuck off.
There you go.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's intense.
Patrick Stewart.
The other movie that guy did was good.
Blue Ruins.
Yes.
I haven't seen that one.
Yeah.
That's a horror movie.
That's terrific.
With suspense.
Mm-hmm. All right. Slow burn. Starts out kind of slow, but then it heats up. It starts burning. Yes I haven't seen that one Yeah That's a horror movie That's terrific With suspense Alright
Slow burn
Starts out kind of slow
But then it heats up
And it starts burning
And they did that
For like $400,000
And it starts burning
Jamie's really trying
To discuss these films
The guy who's over
Sorry
Fucking around
Being flippant
Eliza
Do you have a horror movie
Favorite Yeah I saw this
really creepy Turkish movie about cats
that run this city and
you have to take care of it.
Do the part where you go, I was cut in
past life. I was cut in past life
and I was cursed.
I like
horror movies a lot and I've seen
all of the Conjurings and all the Annabelle ones that all tie in together.
So I suggest that franchise, that franchise, and then what's the found footage one?
Paranormal Activity.
All 12 of those.
You love that.
You love just sitting there staring at the screen for like 10 minutes, and then something makes you jump one thing with like good sound design i don't yeah i don't i liked it i
just want to say this because i'm running for office apparently i liked it a lot and what i
loved about it was you got a lot of face time with the bad guy that being said i prefer my bad guys
be uh beings and creatures and and ghosts versus like a guy with an axe because a guy with an axe i can
see that in hollywood yes yes we're all in agreement no more guys with axes here here
no more action grind yeah so i like it when it's a ghost or a scary nun like the one with the ghost
in that wasn't there a ghost in the simon says oh in not Simon Says, in the Ouija board. No, there was a ghost
in the Simon Says.
There was.
And it was like,
without the music,
it would not be scary at all.
It's like,
beep, beep, beep.
Scary as Parker Brothers can be.
And they're like,
it's talking to us.
Yeah.
I enjoy it all.
Paranormal Simon Says.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Ah.
But that noise that, that, that that robots make when they get possessed,
it's like, beep, beep, boop.
And then you know shit's about to happen.
I didn't see the movie.
That's the noise robots make, you guys.
Dog.
Lick the blood.
As we move into a future full of robotics,
look out for that.
That sounds more like you're shutting them down
than they're coming alive.
No, because it talks.
It's like, I love you.
Like Teddy Ruxpin when it gets possessed when you're a kid?
He was evil.
Why is it somebody made that movie
where Teddy Ruxpin just fucking fucks people up?
Chucky is pretty much that.
You could put like a Slayer tape in Teddy Ruxpin.
Or Paddington is the same thing.
No.
No. What?
You're ruining my childhood.
It's pretty scary when he rides down the staircase
in a bathtub.
Oh shit, Paddington
lives are going to be lost
if you fill that thing up.
Alright, great answers.
Good luck to everybody with their
Halloween movie choices.
But now it's time for
Bert to turn the show off and me
to say, let the games
begin!
We got some name tags.
It's not going to be easy for you guys to choose.
There's a Chucky doll over there.
Yeah, yeah, no.
Go work your way through the crowd.
Pick out who you want to play for.
And, uh...
Well, you do that.
We'll do this.
We'll be right back.
Hey, you guys.
Today's episode is brought to you in part by Stitcher Premium.
Stitcher Premium is the only place you can listen to all 10 seasons of Doug Loves Movies.
And it's the only place to stream all episodes of the Benson Interruption Podcast.
With Stitcher Premium, you also get exclusive access to more than 60 exclusive original podcasts
from stars like Jemaine Clement, Isa ray and mark merritt what the f plus
over 120 comedy albums from top comedians like aziz ansari louis ck and amy schumer that's over
a thousand hours of exclusive ad-free audio content for just $4.99 a month. Start listening now with a one-month free trial of Stitcher Premium.
Go to stitcherpremium.com slash Doug.
Use the promo code DLM at checkout to get your free month.
That's stitcherpremium.com slash Doug.
And use the promo code DLM.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back. Great to the show.
All right, we're back.
Great job, everybody.
The donuts did not get selected.
Neither did the Chucky doll.
It's too scary.
It's too much, bro.
Use your microphone voice.
It's really nice, though, but it was very terrifying.
Hold it up again.
Can I see it?
Jamie wants to put it on his tour bus. We'll put it on the drum riser. See?
There you go.
Chucky will be famous. I think Mark wants to keep it.
Jamie's going to buy it. I don't think he brought it to go
off on tour. Jamie just wants half of it.
I tried to watch
the Cult of Chucky on demand
actually. Oh really?
I'll watch any Chucky movie
I don't care but what do you mean you tried to watch it I was trying to like
you have to type in cult of Chucky it took too long
get halfway through you ever make it through that old show he just settled
for some other cult yeah cold 45 right of Chucky was good. Oh, with Jennifer Tilly.
Yeah. Oh, with Jennifer Tilly. I knew that. See?
I knew that piece of information. Yeah, she's in
the latest one.
She is. Yeah. Alright.
How does she find time between poker? Yeah.
Exactly. She's a poker ace.
Ngaio, who are you playing for? I'm playing
for Kyle, who has
the green Kyle
with the picture of Tom Hanks and it says
Kyle didn't believe in miracles until the day
he and they crossed out
Met One and wrote got picked on
Doug Loves Movies.
Your miracle came true. The hippie in me loves you.
You need a miracle every day.
Great job Kyle. You a big fan of that movie?
Sure.
Okay.
Jamie?
I didn't realize
this had weed
attached to it.
Wow, you picked it
without the perk.
Yeah.
Without the
only reason to pick it.
It looks very
bent and wet, though.
No, no, look at the joint.
Oh, wait.
There you go.
Yeah, now it does. no, look at the joint. Oh, wait. There you go. Yeah, that one does.
And I never saw that movie.
It's a train spotting.
Then he changed it
to Travis spotting.
Get it?
Yes, I like it.
All right.
It's Travi spotting.
Yeah.
Actually.
Sure.
I don't know if he's Italian
or something.
If you're strict.
Or it's Travis potting.
Yeah, it's a home and garden movie.
Now I understand why there's a joint on there.
There you go.
Travis Potting.
Ah.
We baguette.
But yeah, you can give that to a guy if you want.
Yeah, you can have it.
Just because I smoke a lot of weed doesn't mean I need any weed.
Yeah. Does it have like. I don't, just because I smoke a lot of weed doesn't mean I need any weed. Yeah.
Does it have like
a cool name,
that weed?
You need something
to smoke with the
winter outside.
Because I didn't
bring any.
Whenever I think
I'm out of weed,
I just clean my car.
Yeah.
There's probably
a lot in the engine.
What do you think?
Don't snort it.
Name that story.
Magic!
Salty.
The people listening are going to love that joke.
It smells like a tangy.
Oh, okay.
It could be a kush variant, but I'm going to go with a tangy or a berry.
So it's a quality weed?
Ask Travi. It's a joint.
It's a pre-roll.
All right.
Travi?
Liza already has...
I've already signed this name tag, so somebody's brought it before.
No, it's okay.
Well, that's the name.
Who knows if it's been up here before?
It's an Indiana Jones poster.
It's Indy Donna Jones and the Temple of Doom.
They didn't think it was necessary to make a pun out of Temple of Doom.
They just left that, so that's cool.
Sure.
I thought it was a girl who handed this to me.
Yeah, what happened to Prometheus?
I like that one.
So it's all dudes on here.
I thought you took the Prometheus one.
No, I didn't.
I took Indy Donna, but it's all... But it's for Donna. Don't miss gender. Are you Donna? Yeah. I thought you took the Prometheus one. No, I didn't. I took Indy Don.
But it's all...
But it's for Donna.
Don't miss gender.
Are you Donna?
Oh, who are the dudes?
There you go.
That's Doug.
And Jeff Tate and Sam Levine.
Oh, okay.
So it's something I don't know about.
Because they guess who the other people might be on stage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
They just didn't guess that you would be here.
I only come once a year.
Wow, did you tell that to your fiance?
And still you're going to marry him.
Oh, he knows.
And still you're going to marry him.
Wow, cool jokes, guys.
Anyways, that is really expected better here at UCB.
Latch right onto that one.
Anyways, it's in.
There you go.
Good job.
You picked Donna's name tag I picked it?
Yeah, you don't have to worry
about all these dudes on here
Oh, my face is on there twice
You're on the guy
that pulled out the heart
I'm also the
Kalimash up today
Kalimash up today
Then I pulled somebody's heart
out of their chest
Wow
Yeah
Hold on to your potatoes
Okie dokie
I was almost named Indiana,
which is why I picked it.
You were almost named Indiana.
My mom almost named me Indiana
and then they went with Eliza.
They were like,
how can we make her life annoying?
What's below an eye?
So that's,
it was almost Indiana
so that resonated.
So those movies mean a lot to me.
That's a great reason to pick it.
All right.
Not The Crystal Skull, I hope.
No, I liked that one though.
It wasn't bad.
It was better than Temple of Doom.
Oh, my God.
Is this really happening?
Yeah.
We might have to fight.
Is that a hot button issue?
Temple of Doom did not have aliens or Shia LaBeouf.
And these are good things.
And I think he's a good actor.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
Last Crusade's my favorite.
Really? Out of all of them?
Out of all of them. It's tough. It's close
because the first one is...
The first one's amazing
and then everything else is just more of that shit.
But Last Crusade is great.
You call this archaeology.
Right?
I think Raiders of the Lost Ark
is the best one.
Yeah, I think so.
I also know movies in that.
I mean, I love Temple of Doom
in that they took Raiders of the Lost Ark
and went, let's see how we can just push
every element.
Let's make it more violent, more disgusting.
More ridiculous.
More bugs, more creepy crawling things.
Monkey brains.
Yeah, and then more short round.
Which, you know, I think the Goonies prove you can never have enough.
Yeah.
Of that guy.
Ki-Hai Kwan, I think his name is.
Impressive.
I don't think so.
Let's play some games starting with a little something called
Characters Welcome.
Yeah, I'm going to name the characters in a film
that were portrayed by actors,
and you see the character names in the end credits.
I'm going to go from the bottom towards the top.
I'm not going to name every character in the movie,
but just guess as often as you like
until somebody lands on the correct title
what movie has these characters in it you guys?
California Charlie
Boogie Nights?
no
oh, Days and Confused
great, both great guesses
thank you
but no Both great guesses. Thank you. But no.
There's also a character named Highway Patrol Officer.
Get shorty.
No.
Super Troopers.
No, that was stupid.
Pretend I didn't have it.
There's no take backs.
Tom Cassidy.
Dr. Fred Richman.
He's my cousin.
Sheriff Al Chambers.
Detective Milton Arbogast.
Sam Loomis is a character in this movie
that made an audience member go, oh.
Oh.
What's the one with the guy?
My Cousin Vinny.
That's a good guess because there are a lot of random cops.
Yeah.
Marion Crane.
Frasier.
I was hoping there was a movie.
Yeah, Frasier Crane.
It's his mom.
It's a prequel.
Wasn't edited fully because he did it.
Lila Crane is also in this movie.
The Shadow.
And here's the name.
Misery?
No.
Okay.
Here's the name thatery no here's the name
that is gonna
give this shit away
Sleepy Hollow
no
but that was playing
at the bar next door
just now
really
that's where all these people
I was looking at it
all the empty seats
are people watching
Sleepy Hollow
at the pub next door
here we go Norman Bates or people watching Sleepy Hollow at the pub next door.
Here we go.
Norman Bates.
Psycho.
Yay!
And Gaio!
Who was California Charlie?
I have no idea who the fuck California Charlie was. Somebody in fucking Psycho called California Charlie.
He got a credit.
He still gets a check for 64 cents every six months.
Yeah.
And some of it takes place in Phoenix, where I'll be this
Saturday at 420 to end up
live. All right, you guys.
N'Gayo won that first one,
but we got
a couple more games to play, starting
with whose tagline is it
anyway?
N'Gayo gets to go first. I'll say the tagline is it anyway? Ungayo gets to go first.
I'll say the tagline from a movie,
and you get to guess.
If you can't figure out what it is,
we'll go to Jamie,
and then we'll go to Eliza,
and each person gets a shot at each one of these
until somebody gets it.
Spinal tap.
You know I love a good pre-guess.
That shit counters his guess. And I also love a full pre-guess. That shit counters his guess.
And I also love a full accurate title.
This is Spinal Tap.
But that's not right.
Mime is money.
That's not the answer.
What movie had the tagline, Nungayo,
if you want someone to save the world,
make sure it's someone who likes the world as it is.
Constantine?
Great guess.
No.
Jamie?
Powder.
Powder.
I came here knowing that powder
was going to get a pop
no matter what
the question was.
You had powder preloaded?
Good timing.
You were just going to be like,
when I need a laugh.
But it was hard for you
to keep your powder.
So many guests on this show
go for Schindler's List,
but you picked out powder.
Good job.
Can I just say that
I hope that that is for a comedy
because if somebody wrote that
like for serious
for a regular movie
then that's horrible.
Well you know
taglines aren't always great.
No they are.
Sometimes they're written
by people who want to get home
to their children.
Okay.
I'll go with So they just bang out some stupid thing.
Michael?
That's another terrific guest,
and I recommend all three of those movies on a triple bill.
You get a chance to watch Constantine Powder and Michael.
You can buy people over,
hey, do you have a name?
All these characters are about someone with a name.
All these movies.
And they're all angels.
There's a lot of Judeo-Christian imagery.
Yeah, there is.
Yeah, Powder, St. Powder.
Holy shit.
And Constantine.
St. Powder.
That's what they call it.
If you worship St. Powder,
yeah, you got a drug problem.
Yeah.
Well, speaking of angels,
this is the title character of the movie
that this tagline is from is an angel he
saves a lot of people and uh again it's if you want someone to save the world make sure it's
someone who likes the world as it is triple x starring vin diesel and featuring a song from
hate breed on the soundtrack we are on that soundtrack. Yeah, you are.
We are.
Do you know what scene your song plays over?
Yes, because they flew me out here to edit it in,
and it was Vin Diesel on a surfboard on a green screen,
and the song wasn't long enough for the entire scene.
I went to Revolution Pictures and sat in there with the producer of our album, and we re-edited the song wasn't long enough for the entire scene. I went to Revolution Pictures
and sat in there with the producer of our album
and we re-edited the song to fit
and it was so weird,
but it was, people still stop me.
They play that movie on TV all the time.
He really surfs like on water in that movie?
He's like on a green screen,
just on a, like, he's on a set
and there's nothing around.
Did you see the movie?
Or did that part come later in the film?
Well, he's jumping out of a plane and then our song starts. Oh, on like a snowboard he's on a set and there's nothing around. Did you see the movie? Or did that part come later in the film? Well, he's jumping out of a plane
and then our song starts.
Oh, on like a snowboard?
Snowboard.
But he's on like a boarder.
Oh, that's when he races the avalanche.
Yes.
Right, and the avalanche overwhelms the car tower.
Yeah, that was some triple exciting shit.
It was savage.
And I didn't say the other tagline
from the movie,
but it might have
helped you a little
bit better because
the other tagline
was a new breed
of secret agent.
Ah.
Blanche.
A new hate breed
of agent.
All right.
So no one got
that one.
So we're back
to Ungayo.
What movie has
the tagline
ready or not?
And I don't think there's a movie called
Here I Come.
There's gonna be.
Oh, Eliza thinks she knows it.
That Thing You Do.
No.
I don't get it, but okay.
Is that the title you showed up here with?
No.
Is that your powder?
I showed up with the title of Chief Wheat Smoker.
Jamie?
Just ready or not.
There was no...
Ready or not, period.
Here I come, lookout boy.
I'm gonna find you and take it slowly.
Oh, is that Fuji's?
Sure.
Shit.
It's the Delphonics.
All right, I'm gonna say...
But it's also the Fuji's.
They sampled Delphonics.
Well, Lauren just sang it,
but close enough.
They got paid.
Yeah, probably.
They cleared the sample.
Okay, I'm going to say...
I'm going to say...
Up.
That would be a great tagline
for the movie about the old man
in the house.
He loses his wife.
In balloons.
Yeah, he loses his wife.
Ready or not, she's dying.
Ready or not, I'm going to make
this house fly.
Is there a miscarriage
in the office?
What?
Yeah, they can't conceive.
They can't have a baby.
That's why they're so sad.
That's one of the reasons
they're both sad.
I mean,
there's a bigger reason
to be sad
because his wife is dead,
but yeah.
But they can't have a baby.
It's one of the things
that's true.
It's a miscarriage.
Well, they don't really show the miscarriage. It's just implied that they can't have a baby. It's one of the things that's true. It's the first ever animated miscarriage. Well, they don't really show the miscarriage.
It's just implied that they can't conceive.
It's in the director's cut.
It's a 12-minute miscarriage over a toilet.
The animation is phenomenal.
It looks so real.
It's actually found footage.
It's like a little Kool-Aid mask.
Found footage.
Found animated footage.
That's how we do it.
Guerrilla style.
It was cathartic for the writer.
Yeah, I went to film school.
I get it.
What do you think this is, Eliza?
You were confident a second ago.
Here's what I think.
There's no way you have the right answer.
That's what I think.
Something as simple as ready or not,
not is a pun,
and I bet it's K-N-O-T,
like nautical.
I will tell you right now, it K-N-O-T like, or is that T, like nautical. I will tell you right now
it's spelled N-O-T.
I had a whole theory.
Yeah, that would have been
a good one for
failure to launch.
Ready or K-N-O-T
would have been good.
No, it's like an aquatic.
Because it's a boating thing.
Right, it's an aquatic thing.
That's what I was going to say.
Baywatch.
But it's not. Right. It's not a thing. That's what I was going to say. Baywatch. But it's not.
Right.
It's not a knot.
Yeah, no,
Baywatch probably had
some sort of pun
involving, you know,
boobs or something.
They probably weren't.
I get a point
for being creative.
Alright, let me
write that down.
Thank you.
For those of you at home,
he really wrote it.
He took it seriously.
It's a movie that
Ngaio is in called
Nine Months.
Nine Months.
I just got a check for $35
from that film.
There you go.
15 years ago. 15 years ago.
20 years ago.
Passive income, bitches.
Yeah.
That's the future.
All right, well, we're back to you, Nguyo, because...
Because apparently we all suck at this game.
I got another one for you guys.
What movie has the tagline,
Trust in Him?
And it's spelled H-I-M.
Not H-Y-M-N?
It's not like a church thing.
It's not about trusting in a
musical composition.
Trust in Him.
I want to say Jungle Book,
but I know that's not right.
Right?
Trust in Him. Because there's that song.
Michael.
I think, yeah, I think it's a great
perpetual guess.
But not correct.
I'm still in the lead.
That's one way to look at it.
Jamie?
Donnie Brasco.
No.
No, I'm sorry.
You're going to have to forget about it.
Okay.
Eliza?
Can I just,
can I ask an ancillary question before we...
Can you use it in a sentence, Doug?
Is there another one after this?
Another?
Okay.
Because I've only been in one movie.
And I don't think it's the one that I was in.
So that's narrowing it down for me.
Oh, I see what you're doing.
Because you did it.
But I only have the one.
I tried real hard.
You were great in Girlboss, by the way.
Oh, thank you.
Not a movie.
Still not a movie.
Thank you.
I'm going to go with Bruce Almighty.
Oh, yeah.
Ready or not.
No.
No, trust in him because he's like
a god figure in that or something,
right? Yeah.
Did I get it? Robocop.
That's a terrific guess.
Thank you.
It's actually
the tagline for
Saw 6.
And we're on
the fucking soundtrack.
Hatebreed is on
the soundtrack.
The video's even on the DVD Yeah
Fuck
Alright well let's save a little time
And we'll start with Eliza
On this final one
Okay
Because no one's got a point
On the board
But I think she's got
A really strong shot here
I have half
From the Academy Award winning
Writer of Juno
Paradise
Yeah that's the movie she's in called Paradise.
That was written by Diablo Cody.
I didn't think I could slip that one past you.
And I was also like, why do they have a better tagline than that?
That's the tagline?
That's it, yeah.
The tagline should be, Eliza had a monologue that she didn't find out was cut
until she went to the premiere.
Shit.
You're listed in the premiere. Oh. Shit. What in your,
you're listed in the credits
as clerk.
Am I?
Does that make sense?
I don't think so.
Are you a clerk?
I'm not a clerk.
What do you play in it?
I play like a bar singer.
Like I sing at like a bar
in Las Vegas
and I'm really depressed
so it's me singing
Put a Smile on Your Face
by Vitamin C
and then like kind of sobbing
into a drink sitting on like a stage and then kind of sobbing into a drink
sitting on a stage.
And then the monologue that no one saw.
I guess I work there.
Okay.
They had a name tag and everything.
I don't know where clerk came from,
but I might have just not...
The editor was like, no one cares.
There might be another clerk in the movie
when I was just looking in the wrong spot or something.
All right,
so Eliza wins that game.
Yes!
Yes.
And that means
you get to go first.
Thank you.
And our final game
of the evening,
the one that's going
to determine
our winner tonight,
it's a little something
called Last Man Stanton.
I'm going to get a name
from a pre-selected audience member
of an actor or actress.
And we all,
I like to play along in this one,
we all take turns naming movies
they've been in.
Whichever one of you lasts the longest
will be our winner tonight.
And you have one lifeline.
You can go to the person
whose name tag you chose.
You can go to them once.
Kyle and Travis and Donna.
Get your
minds ready.
Because it might come back
at you. And we'll go
Eliza, Jamie,
and Guy O. Me in the order.
And the pre-selected
person in the audience is Curtis
underscore Parker.
There he is. Hey, dude in the audience is Curtis underscore Parker. Yeah, right here.
There he is.
Hey, dude.
Hey.
Your name is Curtis?
Yeah.
Underscore.
Middle name underscore.
Yeah.
Last name greatest.
Last name Parker.
That would be fun to name your kid middle name underscore.
Yeah, really.
Get out ahead of it.
Really set him up for an internet handle.
Just name your kid at.
No one will like him.
Backslash.
Powder backslash underscore.
What do you get if you type in your name at powder?
Did somebody start a comedy account?
You get the dark web.
Of that pale faced.
Hi, I'm Tiny Earl.
Bald man.
Curtis, what do you do for a living?
Tiny Earl.
I work like a grants management
doesn't seem like you know
doesn't seem like
you're entirely on top of it
but are you visiting us from out of town
or you live here I live here
but you reached out to me today on twitter
and you said you had the perfect name for tonight
and so I'm very excited
to hear what you think
is a perfect name
Scar Jo okay Scarlett Johansson a lot is this excited okay how do you guys feel
you all right over I'm ready all right he's into it okay
Eliza start us off any movie that's got Scarlett Johansson in it. Okay.
Ghost World.
Yeah.
Might be one of my favorite movies that's got her in it.
Jamie?
Lost in Translation.
Mm-hmm.
Lucy?
All right, slow down. That's me.
I smell good.
I smell like myself.
T-R-A-N-S-L-A-T-I-O-P.
You can abbreviate.
Oh, I will.
I'm going to shorten Lucy to Lou.
It's better than Oosie.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay, I'm going to go with...
Oh, shit.
Ten. I got this, shit. Ten.
I got this.
Nine.
Damn.
Because it already came up.
The Jungle Book.
Oh, yeah.
Is she like one of the kids?
She's the...
I don't remember.
One of the kids.
The Jungle Book with...
Oh, my God.
I was thinking of Jumanji.
Sorry.
I was like, what is it?
Okay, sorry.
I have a good one.
She's the snake in Jungle Book.
Is she?
Yeah, she sings the Trust in Me song
over the end credits
because they turned it into
only kind of a musical.
Right.
There's only like two songs.
They didn't really need music
in that version of it.
No, no, they didn't. But I still missed it because I love the songs. No, only like two songs. They didn't really need music in that version of it. No, no, they didn't.
But I still missed it because I love the songs.
I understand.
And Christopher Walken, as great
as he is, is no Louis Prima.
Sorry.
It was a good version of him.
It was a good version. Bill Murray was fine as well.
Yeah, but Louis Prima's amazing in the original.
Alright, whose turn is it?
Jamie? No, wait. No, it's Eliza.
No, it's Eliza. Jamie.
No, it's not Eliza now.
Okay.
Wait a second.
You were so confident at the top of this. But I want to remember the second one to have it ready.
Oh, okay.
I see what you're doing.
I think she was in her.
Yeah, she was.
Jamie? Avengers. Boo. Jamie Avengers
Boo
You want to put any other words on that?
I know I was just thinking it's like
Just one word
The Avengers
That's all I need
Captain America Civil War This isn't fair because there's all those Comic book Oh, that's not her. Captain America Civil War?
This isn't fair because there's all those comic book movies. It's not fair at all.
It's not fair.
Fucking nerds.
All right, I'll take one of those off the table for you.
Iron Man 2.
Thanks.
Don't forget about your lifeline.
Donna's out there ready to help you
I know the name and I can't remember it
Mom
Oh, oh, oh
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Yes
Shit
I have no idea what you said
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
I got it I have no idea what you said, but I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down.
I'm writing it down.
I'm writing it down.
I got it.
I wish that that movie had more of that kind of hysterical screaming.
She was such a loser in that movie.
She had like no direction.
Oh, but you take beautiful pictures.
No.
She was good at fucking.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot of let's drink some wine
yeah let's go to obi-wak my crazy wife yeah i take care of cats in hungary
it is my albatross it's a great film all right yeah okay um who is it turn Turn. Who's Jamie? Yeah. I need to use my lifeline. All right.
Let's go to Travis.
Can I give Travis a clue?
Oh.
Oh, unless you have one.
Travis has his own idea.
Oh, you have your own one.
Okay.
Did you guys hear what he said?
No.
Okay.
So what do you want to have Travis help you with?
Okay.
It was like half of a movie. I think it was... It was like...
Half of a movie.
I think it was Joseph...
I saw a snippet.
Joseph Gordon...
Don Juan.
Yes!
Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
Travis says Don Juan.
Classic movie.
I like you, Travis.
Classic movie about jerking off
too much
that's what the movie's about
I never saw it
it's just about
I saw the trailer
he just jerks off
all the time
Scar Jo's his girlfriend
she's like
I don't like the way
you jerk off all the time
and he's like
I'm sorry
I can't stop jerking off
all the time
and they break up
and then
but then he eventually
learns to stop jerking off
all the time
is that really what it's about
because I saw the trailer and I said,
this looks like the worst movie I've ever seen.
It's the best movie on that topic I've ever seen.
The first Tony Danza plays his dad,
and the first time he introduces Scarlett Johansson to Tony Danza
is so goddamn funny.
It's one of the funniest things ever.
Because she just shows up and she's all stacked and hot
and ready to go.
And he's just like,
he just makes this weird noise. And he's just like, ooh.
Ready to go. Like he just makes this weird noise.
And it's Tony Danza.
And I'm sitting at home going, who's the boss?
All right.
All right.
Was she in Captain America?
You can't just ask like that.
You can't just throw it out.
The Winter Soldier?
You gotta go for it.
Captain America,
the Winter Soldier.
Yeah, she's gotta be in there.
It only stands to reason.
Yeah.
All right, it's my turn again.
So I'm gonna go with,
I'm gonna say,
Ghost in the Shell.
Ooh.
Shit.
I was trying to say that.
Yeah.
Suck it.
Fucking current shit, kind of.
Okay, question.
Did we just?
Okay, no, please, continue.
But it's not, I'm not, I think I have one.
I think I have a movie she was in.
Do I hold on to the title, like strategy-wise?
Do I hold on, do I ask Donna?
Yeah, that's great strategy.
Get one from Donna. Or do I get it out and risk it? What if Donna gives you the one you're holding? She might. Strategy wise. Do I ask Donna? Yeah. That's a great strategy.
Get one for Donna. Or do I get it out and risk it?
What if Donna gives you the one you're holding?
She might, but I feel like Donna's going to give you a fresh.
If she doesn't have it, can I just give mine?
I have a few.
She's got a few.
Oh, she has an arsenal of stars.
So you should give yours.
And then she's probably got extras.
So just pick one.
We'll see what happens.
Hold on, I'm afraid that the one I have... You know what?
I'm going to take a risk, because I'm all about making money.
I'm not sure if she was in this, or if the woman on the cover of the book just looks like her.
Oh, you've got to go to your lifeline.
Don't be confusing.
I'm going to go with Girl with the Pearl Earring. Oh, my gotta go to your lifeline. Don't be confusing. I'm gonna go with Girl with the Pearl Earring.
Oh my god.
That was exciting.
This whole half of the night just went limp.
Holy shit. I really wanted you
to go to Donna.
Next time. You pulled it off.
Indie Donna Jones. Now we're back to
Jamie who's sitting there wondering if
there was a Girl with the pearly earring, too.
Where's the other
earring?
I'll come back for it.
I gotta use
a lifeline again. What do you mean, again?
Can we get two?
Yeah.
I'd like to use lifelines till I run out
till I win the game please
can I just ask random people in the street
perhaps if they know
if you want to run out in the street and ask somebody
real quick
that would be weird
just send them out of the room
see what you can come up with out on the street
just run around
out there. Scar Jo, help me.
What was she in?
They'll name all these movies
we've already said.
Try Powder. She got nothing?
No, I don't. Just say like another
Marvel movie. Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Avengers Infinity War.
Not one that's not out yet she's in it
you gotta figure right
you don't know that she could get edited out in the last scene like I did
yes
you don't know that
it was almost paradise
for you
I didn't mind that movie I watched it Infinity War? that's a rave review I didn't mind that movie. I watched it.
Infinity War?
That's a rave review.
Yeah, I didn't mind it.
I watched it.
It didn't bother me too much.
Hey, listen.
It's the J.B. Jost review system.
I sat through this whole movie.
It was pretty good.
Kyle, hook me up.
Oh, wait.
What happened?
So J.B Jamie just gave up
what's happened
she's in it
what
he's still arguing
Infinity War
the Avengers
alright I'll let you have it
because you're still gonna lose
what
he's still gonna lose
she's in it
Kyle
Age of Ultron
Age of Ultron
thank you
I couldn't remember it
the Avengers Age of Ultron
I couldn't remember the name of that
how many fucking movies
did they have
they made all the movies.
The Avengers Inception.
There's quite a few of them now.
So his guess was the Avengers Age of Ultron?
Mm-hmm.
I couldn't make up a title and you'd be like,
Nah, it's slated for 2019.
Try it.
I don't.
No way.
That's not how I...
I don't believe in that at all.
The Infinity Gauntlet.
I'm going to go with...
Oh, shit.
What the fuck was that thing called?
The Nanny Diaries.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
That's a deep cut.
It's his show.
It was the same filmmakers
that did American Splendor, which I love.
So that's kind of why
I know about it. But yeah, Scarlett
Johansson. Lots of movies.
Do you have another one, Eliza?
Donna?
Donna?
Donna?
It's time.
Oh, nice.
The Horse Whisperer.
Horse Whisperer.
One of her earliest performances.
The Horse Whisperer, Age of Infinity.
Whatever the fuck.
The Horse Whisperer.
Endless Horse.
Infinity Wars.
Was there a Horse whisperer too?
Endless horse.
Horse whisperer also.
Yeah.
I know what you
horse whispered last summer.
Care horse whisperer.
Na na na na na na na na.
Na na na na na na na na. Horse Whisperer 3, Quantum of Solace.
Is it time to tap, Jamie?
Tap out, die with honor.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can't think of another one.
Sorry, Travis.
Get out of here.
That's all right.
He's got a good shithead.
She was in... Ah, fuck. I'm out. I i don't know interview with a vampire i have no idea that was cursed
yeah yeah i know i'm missing one or two that i should know and i don't fucking i've lost it
she was in a um coen brothers movie called the man who Wasn't There. Oh, right, with Billy Bob Thornton.
That's a weird movie.
Are you giving that one to me?
No, I'm giving that one to me.
Donna?
Wait, you can't go back to Donna again.
What is this with the double lifelines?
Is it true?
No, she helped you out a great deal earlier.
Does it end in a tie?
The only thing that can happen here is if you can't come up with another one,
you still win because you lasted the longest.
What?
Yeah, I can't win.
I'm not playing for anybody.
We all had the same amount.
Life isn't fair.
Really?
You don't say. Really? Huh.
You don't say. Listen to me.
Listen to me.
Life isn't fair.
That's why you want to go first in this game because you could end up like that.
You've had many advantages.
Everyone could.
It's time that someone like me
got ahead.
If only your eyes
were bluer.
I'm going to go with
the Avengers.
Yeah.
Cleveland Steam.
Hold on.
I know this.
The Avengers.
Did you say Cleveland
Steamer?
It's going gonna be some for cocktail like the Avengers like glass bottom boat
you really think you might just arrive
at it by yeah it's always some hold on
it's okay the Avengers aptitude of
yesteryear aptitude of yesteryear.
Aptitude of yesteryear.
Doesn't that sound... That sounds legit.
Aptitudinal control.
I would be surprised if someone at Marvel HQ heard that
and was going to try to make that someday.
Speak it into existence.
But as far as I know, that doesn't exist.
But you lasted the longest, technically.
So...
Eliza is
our winner.
Yay!
Come get your prizes,
Donna. Yeah, Donna,
come get this shit. Come on down, Donna.
Will you please read my book and tweet about it?
Thank you.
And watch Chug 2.
Watch Chug 2.
You're getting
the only advanced copy.
Like the press
isn't getting it
so it's all up to you.
You're in charge
of all publicity
for her book
from this point forward.
It's on you, Donna.
Yeah.
So good luck with that.
Oh, we're getting
a picture.
I like it.
I'm still holding
my mic like an idiot.
This weekend
at the Funny Bone.
It's like a muscle.
Let's do some plugs.
Promote yourself.
Agaio, what's coming up?
I will be at the new parish in Oakland on November 29th.
It's a benefit.
And Zai and I will be there.
I'll be New Year's Eve at the Sacramento Punchline.
November 24th and 25th.
The 24th I'm in
Arcata and the 25th
I'm in Ukiah. There's only one or two clubs up there.
You can fucking find it.
Follow me on the Instagrams and the
Twitters. NGAIO420.
Thank you.
We have to take the picture again though
because I had some shit on my lip.
You guys didn't tell me I had something on my leg.
Wait.
This should be a whole podcast of just listening to pictures being taken.
Jamie Josto, what's going on with you, man?
I have a podcast network.
It's called Gas Digital Network.
Go to gasdigitalnetwork.com.
Subscribe.
There's a bunch of comedy podcasts on there.
And yeah, I have a bunch of new episodes,
mostly metal guys, but I do wrestlers sometimes,
comedians, MMA guys.
It's called The Josta Show.
And then Haypreed's going on tour next month.
Hatebreed.com for dates.
And yeah.
If people bring name tags to the Hatebreed shows,
will you shout them out?
Yes.
Some of you want to come out of mosh retirement
and hit the pit with a name tag on?
I don't think that would be a good place for it.
Be cool to bring
some donuts to the pit
though.
You've been to a show.
I have.
He came,
we played Ace of Spades
and he came.
I've been in a
hate breed show.
Fuck yeah,
in my suit.
I was wearing a suit.
Sacramento?
Yeah.
They thought I was the fence.
I like that place,
Ace of Spades.
That's great.
Cool.
All right,
Eliza,
when's the book
coming out? Girl Logic, The Genius and the Absurdity comes out November 7th. That's great. Cool. All right. Eliza, when's the book coming out?
Girl Logic,
The Genius and the Absurdity
comes out November 7th.
That week I will be
all over the East Coast.
I'll be headlining
the New York Comedy Festival.
And if you live in Baltimore,
please come out
because I'm at the Hippodrome
and it is a giant fucking venue.
And it is my Achilles
at this point.
And I'll be on tour,
Eliza.com.
And there's about 15, 20 dates on there. Right on tour, Eliza.com. And that's it.
There's about 15,
20 dates on there.
Right on.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for bringing Blanche.
Thanks to this nice lady
for holding Blanche.
Thank you.
Thank you to all of my guests.
Thank you, UCB.
Thank you to you guys
for coming out
on this insanely hot day.
Hot night.
Oh, here goes Blanche.
Yay!
You did it!
So cute.
All right.
Oh, I'm going to mention,
my plug is that all the Tate Crazy Nights shows
are with Jeff Tate,
are on sale now from December 13th to 20th.
Not the singer of Queensryche. Not the Queensryche guy. This is our Jeff Tate are on sale now from December 13th to 20th. Not the singer of Queensryche.
Not the Queensryche guy.
This is our Jeff Tate. I think
people know the difference. Okay, good. That are listening
to this show anyway.
Wow, you're setting up the leash like it's a trap.
Tricking her to step in it.
Oh, wow, that worked.
Great job.
One more time for all my guests!
As always,
Steve Harvey is a shithead.
What did Steve do now?
Did he do something new?
Or is it just residual?
Okay.
He's not into Steve Harvey.
And Doug
not looking his age
is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess
makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies!