Doug Loves Movies - Jason Ellis, Kevin Kraft, Michael Tully and Dustin Ybarra guest
Episode Date: April 20, 2020Doug welcomes Jason Ellis, Kevin Kraft, Michael Tully and Dustin Ybarra to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Prem...ium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you once again from Lockdown Life. It's Sunday, April 19th.
Happy 420 almost, everybody.
And it's 420 all month, of course, because it's 2020.
Doug plugs, my July shows at the DC Improv got bumped to October 24, 25.
But even that might be a pipe dream uh yeah those are my plugs
i've smoked with most of my guests today
uh let's hear it for jason ellis kevin craft michael tully and dustin ibarra what's up saddest plugs ever Doug
I know right
that one was like
I actually had something to say
most of the plugs lately have just been
well I'll do shows once we're allowed
to do shows again
but yeah a lot of my
stuff has been
shifting but it's
wishful thinking.
I don't, you know, who knows how long this is going to last.
And who knows, you know, at the other end of it, I might not be funny anymore.
Yeah.
I left a pause for laughter there and all I got was sad.
I was just sad. That sounds sad.
Yeah, just contemplating everything.
Thoughts and prayers, Doug.
Yeah, I mean, I said it kind of
meaning that it's impossible for me
to not be funny, but I guess everybody
bought into it.
Let's say hello
to you individually and alphabetically
starting with from the Jason Ellis
show on SiriusXM Faction
Talk. It's Jason Ellis!
I figured I'd be the first in the alphabet.
I wasn't sure.
Thank you.
It's great to be here.
Yeah.
I mean, first name, last name, doesn't matter.
Both your initials are pretty early on in the alphabet.
I didn't know.
I like to not know which show I'm going to be on with Doug,
and I'm kind of pissed every time because it's never getting Doug with high.
It's always the other one.
But I still can't help getting really high for the show.
Sorry.
Don't be sorry.
You know, I brought it on myself.
I mean, I'm high for this.
I brought Dab Machine in for the show.
You did? Yeah, yeah. I was like, let's get fucked up you know what i mean i love it you brought the old he brought the old dust
yeah the old dusty spirit yeah i like dusty on our vr internet
all right settle down dustin you're you're not coming up for a while because your last name is on VR internet. All right. Settle down, Dustin.
You're not coming up for a while
because your last name is at the very end of the alphabet.
Very foreign.
Also joining us from the Jason Ellis Show,
it's Kevin Kraft, everybody.
Hey.
Thanks for having me on, Doug.
I hope you're doing well.
I hope you got lots of TP.
You know, I appreciate that you
say that because
most people don't bring up
my bowel movements or what I use.
I hope you don't have any TP and that your
asshole hurts. What's up?
That is a wild take.
This whole thing has me
thinking a lot about everybody's butts.
I'm very concerned about butts.
Do you have enough yourself, Kevin?
At the moment, yeah.
I've adapted a new way of wiping.
I'm like a fancy lady at a dinner party.
Oh, wow.
I've never seen a fancy lady at a dinner party wipe her ass.
Let me ask you this, you guys.
Is it bad to blow your nose on a piece of TP and then wipe your butt with it?
You can't use the same side.
Well, obviously, but I'm just trying to like...
It beats doing it in the opposite direction.
I think if you sneeze and then put it on your butt,
you're just going to give your butt a cold.
Oh, man.
That's happened, I think.
I'm okay.
You're going to have a sneezing asshole.
I can live with that.
Did you know that the little hole that's in the side of a barrel is called a bunghole?
Yeah.
That's one of the first things I looked up when I learned what a dictionary was.
Because you were fascinated with barrels?
Yes.
What is this part?
Did we lose somebody? I think Jason's doing a dab oh okay um let's also say
hello everybody to where are we at michael tolly never been better never been better doug my
asshole is on top of the world thank you for asking um what else is going on are you you're all uh at home with the
family i am yeah nap time just ended it's a very exciting day here oh no is uh is your kid gonna
be all right with you being busy for an hour uh i hope so she's gonna have to be the the wife and
the kids are watching disney plus we're're just fine. I'm a free man.
Did you watch The Mandalorian?
Wait, you cut out for a second. Did I watch what?
Did you watch The Mandalorian?
Oh, my God, yeah. That's so funny you mention that.
We watched The Mandalorian, and then last night we watched the finale again,
and then while I was sleeping off last night i heard the finale of the mandalorian again again sure
i think i think jason is allergic to uh
plus yeah we're fans i i would rank uh ig88 or ig11 everyone he is as a top five droid all time i am ready to do a show
all right let's go ahead and uh start all right
let's fire this thing up let's say hello to everybody's favorite comedian slash thespian.
It's Dustin Ibarra.
Oh, wow.
Thespian, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Woo!
I really think you're one of those guys.
It's truly both.
You know, some people are more of a stand-up or more of an actor,
but I think you're excellent at both.
Thanks, man. All right. Where's what else though? No, I'm just kidding.
But Dustin, you can only.
But I have a few notes about your performance in Hop.
Oh yeah, man. I got some text messages over the weekend for that, man.
It was on. Really? Yeah. People were watching the Hop.
They're like, you were watching the hop they're like you
were in hop oh yeah man you know oh shit i watched hop last week did you see me you probably didn't
even know it was me oh you're the best part of hop are you the best part of the news guys i don't
know what i was a news clerk that's a male clerk something like that I don't know what I was. I was a news clerk.
Mail clerk, something like that.
Oh, yeah, that was the best part.
The mail clerk.
Oh, we were talking about him.
Yeah, God, that was such an awesome mail clerk, we said.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, whenever you watch it, Dusty's residual goes up, so thank you.
And just say the words hop.
I think I get like a penny or something.
No way. No, I don't think so. I definitely didn't get that good deal. You were the get like a penny or something. No way.
No, I don't think so.
I definitely didn't get that good deal. You were the best part of us, too.
You sucked, man.
I was ready to say it a bunch of times.
All right.
I don't even know what it is.
Now that we've met everybody,
and everybody seems like they're as high as they need to be,
I'm going to say, let the games begin!
No prizes.
This is just for fun, gentlemen.
And speaking of gentlemen, the gentleman is available now on download,
digital, 4K,
Ultra HD,
Blu-ray, and DVD.
McConaughey.
Yeah. Dustin, you were terrific in that, too.
Thank you. Thanks, man.
Thank you. I liked it when you served them tacos.
They sent me a
lovely gift.
They sent me a lovely gift box.
What'd you get?
Just a whole bunch of stuff that says The Gentleman on it.
You got a T-shirt with it on it?
No, no T-shirts.
What about a headband?
No headbands.
Man, if you get any headbands, holler at me.
I'm a big headband guy. I got a piece of my hair missing. I need headbands. Man, if you get any headbands, holler at me. I'm a big headband guy.
I got a piece of my hair missing.
I need headbands.
So any headbands I come across, I'll bring your way.
I think I have an aisle of what?
I'll trade you toilet paper for it.
Okay.
I'm kidding. I have an aisle of Dogs headband, I think.
Ooh, dogs and headbands, two of my favorite things.
Yeah, it's perfect for you.
I have a good headband.
And two, it keeps the sweat from getting in your eyes, man.
It's awesome.
I keep forgetting, you're the sweatiest person,
because I sweat and Dustin sweats more.
Bro, I sweat, oh my God, yeah.
We should have a sweat off
because because you sweat more just from doing nothing but you're not as good at doing physical
things as me so i think maybe i can like cardiovascular myself to match you're just
standing there sweating oh okay and then we we sweat it off into a bottle. Whatever sweats the least has to drink the sweat.
Have a suit on that has like tubes that go into a cup
and then you can fill the cup the first.
Oh, man.
And you can do it by just, you know, telling jokes, you fat fuck.
Or I'll do it by jumping up and down, doing jumping jacks and shit.
Am I not allowed to move around?
Yeah, but you'll get tired.
But then I'll sweat. And then, you know. you know yeah but then you have to take a break you have to
take a break because you're gonna have a heart attack you know i'm gonna eat some fucked up
shit right before this so that my sweat will be like it'll probably be stinky too
so much like taco bell or something i'm gonna eat like 700 little jars of baby food
that's what fitness people eat.
I forgot about that.
That's why babies sweat so much.
That's right.
A lot of people don't know that.
Sweaty babies.
That's why they get dropped so much.
They're fucking slippery.
Hey, so anyway, I was talking about The Gentleman.
I wasn't done talking about The Gentleman.
Oh, yeah.
Great movie.
I'm going to give away all the stuff that they put in the box.
I'm going to give it away on future Doug Loves Movies tapings
where there's an audience if that ever happens again.
Positive thinking.
Yes, exactly.
All right.
So this first game we're going to play is called
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
Okay.
I will go to you each individually, again alphabetically.
So, Jason, you're up first.
I'm going to read the tagline for a motion picture,
and you get one guess what movie it is.
If you miss, I'll move on to the next person.
Fair enough. Until everybody gets a chance. movie it is. If you miss, I'll move on to the next person.
Fair enough.
Until everybody gets a chance.
But there's always going to be in this game, a theme will develop.
So if you recognize the theme, it might
help you to come up with the answer.
Okay.
Out of the gate,
Jason Ellis,
what movie has the tagline
nothing spreads
like fear
and I'll tell you
another I'll give you one clue
it's not showgirls
is it
contagion
that is correct
yes yes Is it contagion? That is correct. No!
Yes.
I'm going to leave.
I think I should leave.
You killed it.
I don't think it's ever going to get better. Yes.
If I just hung up right now and said the connection failed,
I could almost come off like I've got a working brain.
I love it because you got really high for that and then you pulled it off.
Oh, that's what it was.
Oh, fuck.
I can't do another one.
Oh, all right.
I'll do it.
Let's try one.
Let's try one for Kevin.
You ready, Kevin?
I am, but I haven't done any dabs, so I'm worried.
Pussy.
Pussy.
I am but I haven't done any dabs so I'm worried Pussy
The days are numbered
What's that the tagline for Kevin?
Days are numbered
If the theme is what I think it is,
maybe the day after tomorrow.
Oh, interesting guess, but no.
Mike Tully.
Is 500 days of summer a movie?
It is.
Well, those days are numbered.
Okay.
Dustin?
28 days later.
That's the one.
No way!
Yeah, man!
That's a confidence booster.
I've needed this whole quarantine, bro.
I'm so pumped.
You're back, Dusty.
You're back.
You're right.
I am back, man.
The sweaty guys are in the house.
It's really good.
Winning is good for your immune system.
Oh, it is.
What's the tagline for that?
That sounds like a movie tagline.
Winning is good for some doctor who gambles.
The Yoga Boys.
All right, Jason, you're up first again.
Ah, shit.
All right.
Try to remain calm.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Okay.
Fucking San Antonio fault line.
You know, that's a great movie, but that's not the answer.
Fucking fair enough.
Is that a movie?
What's it called?
It is.
That's what it's called.
You think there's a movie called san antonio fault line
yeah people don't know one of these days texas is going to split in half and fall in the ocean
that's what the rock says oh you're talking about san andreas yeah yeah yeah that one
god that was a great grand theft auto sequel there. One of the best in the franchise.
Kevin, what do you think it is?
Can I hear it one more time, Doug?
Debs are backfiring on me.
Try to remain calm.
Outbreak.
That is correct.
Yeah.
I think I might see a theme here or something.
Yeah, right? I'm starting to feel like it would help if I had ever watched a zombie movie.
Maybe not.
Yeah, maybe not.
I mean, two of those three don't have zombies.
Hey, Kevin, the smart guy doesn't get it.
High five.
Looks like you're not so cool now.
Here we go.
Mike, Tully, this is you.
What movie has the tagline
The Future is History?
The Future is History. uh the future is history cowboys versus aliens dustin oh man um
i'm gonna i'm gonna say uh I'm going to say
Minority Report.
No.
Jason?
If I say
Will Smith
plays golf in New York City
by himself
and I don't know the name of the movie.
Is that bad?
You just gave it to the next person.
Well, it is interesting, too,
because that movie was,
the working title was
Will Smith Plays Golf by Himself.
Damn it!
And that studio was like,
but that's going to,
people are going to think it's a sequel to Bagger Vance.
So let's,
let's call it something else.
He's not just carrying the bag this time.
Kevin Kraft,
do you know what this one is?
The future is history.
I know the movie Jason's talking about,
but I got to stick with my initial guess.
Armageddon.
The answer is 12 monkeys.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, dude.
Oh, fuck.
12 freaking monkeys.
A crazy movie.
All right.
So at this point,
we have a three-way tie between Jason and Dustin and Kevin.
So we're going to do a tiebreaker.
Just sit this one out, Tully.
I'm going to say one more tagline, and the first one of you guys that says the correct title wins.
You ready?
Yes.
Welcome to Earth.
Population one.
I am legend.
Who said that?
Kevin.
You win, Kevin.
What?
That was it?
Oh, man.
Yes.
I love it when the answer comes up early before it's actually the answer.
I got to re-watch I Am Legend again.
It has a great soundtrack.
It's fun, man.
Now here is a story all about how I became a legend.
There's lions in the street, but we're in the city.
No, they got good.
They got probably the best zombies out of all movies.
I reckon those are good zombies because they were different,
but they were still like, I don't know.
They were intimidating.
They weren't like, like slow zombies.
I'm like, ah, fuck that.
They were the most convincing that if you got caught by one,
even if you were like a good fighter, you were fucked.
I can see people trying to fight the confidence of like,
I'll just knock it.
I'll put this motherfucker in a chokehold or a bare naked twist or whatever.
Yeah, but that jaw, man, those teeth, they keep going pretty fast.
I don't want to go near that.
They do.
You would fight one for LS Mania.
I could see that.
The next one just gets some. If people would buy tickets to it,ia. I could see that.
If people would buy tickets to it, yeah, probably would.
Yeah, dude.
I've got some very exciting news for Kevin Kraft right now.
I love that.
And I'll share it with him and everyone after this break.
We'll be right back.
We're back.
All right.
We had a lovely time during the break, but now it's time for me to share the news with Kevin Kraft that we're going
to play to determine our ultimate winner today.
We're going to play a game where not only you get to go first, Kevin,
game where not only you get to go first kevin you also get to decide the name that we're going to use in last man or woman stanton oh shit yeah so of all the actors and actresses in the world
kevin's gonna pick one and then we're gonna take turns naming movies that that person was in.
And I'm going to play two.
So I'll slip into the rotation alphabetically.
I'll go after Dustin and before Jason.
Hmm.
Hmm, indeed.
Oh, boy.
Who would you like us to play today
Don't be afraid to make it
You know
A difficult one
You know
There's no shame in
Making it a wipe out
For yourself to
Take home the no prizes
Don't do a comic book guy
I know you're going to say some
Obscure shit man It's totally cool to be an absolute dick No prizes. Don't do a comic book guy. I know. You're going to say some obscure shit, man.
Yeah, don't worry, Kevin. It's totally cool to be an absolute dick.
You know what I'm going to do with Doug?
I don't want to be in contact with these people when this podcast is over.
Yeah, I'll be coming for you.
Yeah, I might have to watch your pet again. You know what I'm saying?
All right. Well, in the spirit of not being a dick, how about Bruce Willis? I might have to watch your pet again. You know what I'm saying?
All right.
Well, in the spirit of not being a dick, how about Bruce Willis?
That's a great one. That's so much.
Yeah, yeah.
Man, it's like you want to marry me or something.
What?
I was not expecting you to pick up on that.
As an homage to Jason's lockdown haircut haircut let's do bruce willis
okay so kevin you start us off name any bruce willis movie and you know as we go if somebody
can't think of one they are out but stick around because there's time left at the end. We'll have a nice chat.
Low-hanging fruit, diehard.
I was like, low-hanging fruit?
Yeah, what was that?
It sounds like one he would have done with Cher, though, or something, right?
Like some romantic comedy. That was a softcore porn that he did before he blew up.
Okay, so Tully?
Hudson Hawk.
Ooh.
That's a good one.
Dustin?
Got a cop out.
Excellent.
I will go with...
I'll go early on in his career
and say Blind Date.
Shit.
I don't even know that one.
With Kim Basinger.
Man, I don't even remember that.
Yeah.
That's some bullshit.
I'll go
Lost Boy Scout.
I like it.
That's a great football movie.
Love football.
I'll go Die Hard 2.
Yep.
Let's take the Die Hards off the board,
and I'll take Die Hard with a Vengeance.
Oh, I wish that took it off the board and I'll take die hard with a vengeance. Oh, I wish that took it off the board.
So many more to go.
Dustin.
Um, Armageddon.
That was a die hard. I like to think.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Die hard with a Vengeance.
Ah, shit.
Wait, didn't I claim that one?
Oh, you did? You said that one?
Yes, I did, yeah.
Okay, I'll do...
Wait, so we got Die Hard 1, Die Hard 2,
and then you said Die Hard with a Vengeance?
Mm-hmm. That was 3. So, oh, man. one die hard two and then you said die hard with a vengeance that was three so oh man four would be a good day to die hard
i know that's real but it sounds like you made it up. Okay.
Back to you, Kevin.
Nope. Oh, sorry.
Expendables 4.
Oh, yeah.
Did they even do
that many?
Well, three.
I like it.
Tully? Let's do three. I like it.
Let's do six cents.
Okay.
Fuck.
Yeah, that opens up a lot of options,
Dustin. The whole nine yards.
You son of a bitch. I'll do it. I don't give a fuck. I'll say the whole 10 yards.
There you go.
His sequels names match up so well.
Like I could just see a future where nobody knows what the expression whole
nine yards even means.
And they're wondering where the first eight movies went i live in a present where i have no idea where the fuck that
praise came from uh you know football no it came from i actually know this it came from back in
world war something where uh they had nine yards of bullets or something. So if you shot
it all out, then you would have shot the whole nine yards.
Ooh.
Yeah. Don't still watch his channel.
I'm quite crisp right now.
Thank you.
All right. Where do we
leave off? Oh, it's back
to Jason.
No.
Splint. Splitteritter what's the one where it's him and his twin chasing each other in the future just shorten it sure yeah say the shortened word. What do you mean?
You kind of said it. Split.
Yeah.
That's what it's called. That's what it was called?
Are you sure? That's all you need to say.
Love that movie.
What's the matter, Dustin?
I thought it was something else.
No, it's called Split. He shows up at the very
end of Split. Oh, that's right.
Yeah, that's right. Okay. I thought he was thinking of a different Split. Oh, that's right. Okay, yeah, yeah. That's right. Okay. I thought he was
thinking of a different movie, though, and I think I know
who it is. Yeah, yeah.
Kevin?
What was the Die Hard you said?
Good Day
to Die Hard.
Live Free or Die Hard? Yes.
Oh, that was the one.
And then I think it rounds them out, right?
Yeah, I think that's the end of those.
Hopefully forever.
Tali?
I think the movie we all thought Jason was talking about is Looper.
Yep.
That's right.
I don't know what you're talking about, Michael.
I thought he was talking about Split.
But, yeah, Looper works as well.
And then it's funny that we have Split and Sixth Sense and not Unbreakable.
Oh, yeah.
You bastard.
Yeah. Jason? you bastard yeah Jason
um
uh
fucking
Zed's Dead
what's that movie
sounds like an unknown
independent film
man I should not have done that dab Sounds like an unknown independent film.
Man, I should not have done that dab.
I feel panicky, man.
I'm freaking out.
You came in hot with Kentagian, though.
Yeah, that was right before the dab kicked in.
Yeah, I forgot the name of it.
I'm out.
Well, there's other Bruce Willis movies.
I mean, you said Expendables 3.
What is it? Fifth Element.
Yeah. That's a good one.
I'm noticing he's got a lot of numbers in his titles.
Kevin.
Death Becomes Her.
Oh, that was –
Damn it, I had that locked and loaded.
Wait, is that the one where they got –
there can be – they're dead, but they're still alive?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right, Okay.
Um, who said that one? Oh, it's, so it's Tully.
Right. I guess I get another one of, uh, Jason's droppings here.
I'll claim Pulp Fiction.
You son of a bitch.
Oh, how stupid of me.
What about me? I didn't even know the name of me. What about me?
I didn't even know the name of it.
Okay, you win.
Justin.
Man, I'm trying to think of a movie where he, like,
wasn't he in some kid movie where he was, like,
he had to, like, nanny or some shit?
Let me think.
Bruce Willis.
You gave me a lot of ideas
with that sentence.
Ah, come on.
There's so many more, Dusty.
What a...
Oh.
You got this, Dustin.
Bruce Willis and...
Oh, God, dude. Oh. Death Wish. Willis in oh god dude
oh
Death Wish
oh nice
Eli Ross
Death Wish good pull
the close one
yeah that was real close
you thought I was sweaty before
so it's my turn, eh?
Yeah.
I think you were kind of sniffing around at Dustin.
I think you were maybe going for Disney's The Kid.
Oh, yeah, I think so.
Where he does a body switch or whatever with a little kid.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like he's done like seven body switch movies or something.
It does seem like it.
Jason.
We already said the Hudson and the Hulk guy,
right?
Yeah.
Um,
was moonlighting a movie?
No.
Um,
uh, he, Was Moonlighting a movie? No. No. He, wait.
He was a
boyfriend
in
fucking
fuck
vacation
fucking bullshit.
vacation fucking bullshit.
We've named 21 Bruce Willis movies so far.
Wow.
Fuck.
Honeymoon.
Was he on Honeymoon?
Wait.
No, I don't know, dude.
I'm out.
You did great.
Thank you. I did terrible.
But anyway.
Do you want to leave, leave, or do you want to hang out?
No, I want to hang out.
Okay, cool.
Pressure's off.
I like it.
Kevin?
I do believe we've just left 12 monkeys hanging out there.
Oh, wait.
I thought we said, oh.
Yeah.
We sure did.
Tully?
Finally, for the first time, having children is about to pay off
because I just remembered he makes a voice cameo in Lego Movie 2.
Oh, the
second part?
If that's what they call Lego Movie 2, yep.
Alright, Dustin.
Alright, thanks for clicking
that voiceover thing in my mind,
totally. I'm going to go ahead and go with
Look Who's Talking.
Oh.
That's going to be interesting
where that leads us. That will lead us
a few places. Kevin?
Yeah, I'll just take
Look Who's Talking 2.
Is it?
Yep. There's two babies. Yeah, him and. Yeah. Yep. T.O.O.
There's two babies.
Yeah.
Him and Roseanne.
Hold on.
Hold on to your seats.
Yeah.
That's right.
Roseanne was the other baby.
I mean, it is.
Those movies are dumb, but man, the idea of a baby sounding like Roseanne is pretty hilarious.
Dude, I saw Look Who's Talking, the first one in the theater. Uh, seven times.
Why?
My fucking poor mom. Cause when I was a kid, I had a crush on Kirstie Alley.
So I made her take me to see every weekend until it's out of theaters.
She didn't always have those chins.
Dude, you just buried the lead. That's a bizarre thing for a child to be into.
Like, did that give you a lifelong fetish of shoulder pads?
A little bit.
Were you into her with the Vulcan ears in Star Trek IV?
Never saw that one as a kid.
My mom liked a lot of cheers.
I think that's what it was.
Oh, that's what it was.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, Justin went, look who's talking
too.
I'm going to say
because it got left out there
when we were talking Split and
Unbreakable, Bruce Willis is also in
Glass.
Oh, yeah.
There goes my back pocket. Oh, shit. Back to you, yeah. Yep. Shit. There goes my back pocket.
Oh, shit.
Back to you, Kevin.
It's me?
Uh-huh.
We didn't do Expendables 2 yet, right?
Uh-uh.
All right, Expendables 2.
Fucking goddammit.
I was trying to get you to say it, Jason.
No, no.
Look, you can't lead a moron to water.
God damn it.
Okay, Dustin.
Sorry.
Wait.
Yeah.
Tully's next.
I have three that I feel equally shaky about was he
also teamed up with roseanne in a piece of shit comedy called she devil
i don't know no that was ed bagley jr
get in dust. I always get the... Yeah, I think you might be confusing that
because of Meryl Streep being in both.
In Death Becomes Her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, so thank you for playing, Tully.
Dustin.
Okay, this is tough right here.
It is?
Yeah.
I mean, was he... Like think i don't i want to say
look who's talking three but i don't know if he was a voice in that i don't know because you know
how on the third time sometimes like what other actors take um but i think he might have been
and look who's talking through i'm gonna say look who's talking through your final answer well
Doug can I interject here?
please
was that one called look who's still talking?
no
you motherfucker
no but I was just about to tell
Dustin that he is wrong
it's called look who's talking
now
there you go.
Damn.
I, yeah.
This time the lamp is talking.
No, the dog.
It's the dog.
The dogs were talking.
They have dogs and the dogs start talking.
I mean, you think that's a stupid thing to do, but then they just went,
they went ahead and did that the other day with Harrison Ford.
Everybody talks to dogs.
It's the coolest. That is the new trend right now with Harrison Ford. Everybody talks to dogs. It's the coolest.
That is the new trend right now.
Yeah.
Your dog talks to you.
All right. I'm going to say for my next Bruce Willis, I'm going to say,
oops, The Player.
Yeah. Oops. The Player. The Player.
Yeah, the movie with all those cameos.
He shows up at the end rescuing Julia Roberts in a fake movie scene.
Oh, yeah.
And it's going to get more obscure than that if we keep playing.
Kevin?
Is it just you and me now, Doug? I believe that's true, yeah. And it's going to get more obscure than that if we keep playing. Kevin? Is it just you and me now, Doug?
I believe that's true, yes.
Did anybody take Expendables 1?
Uh-uh.
I don't think he was in that.
Oh, that was why I was asking.
Oh, no.
Fucking assholes. What's going on?
Damn it, man.
I feel like he was.
I feel like he just had one scene,
but maybe that was the second one.
Okay.
Well, I'll leave that one out then.
Oh, he did a direct-to-VOD movie recently
that featured a friend of the Jason Ellis show,
Nikki Whalen, Trauma Center.
Whoa, really?
Heavy, true story.
I can't believe you remember the name of that piece of shit,
but yes, that is true.
I can verify that.
Oh man, that's fucked up.
It's a good movie.
Okay, he was a voice in a movie called Over the Hedge.
Oh Jesus.
Yeah, I told you it was going gonna get even more obscure you got anything
else kevin drowning oh look who stopped talking no i got nothing i'm tapped out doug uh he was in a movie called the color of night uh oh yeah with uh what's her
face that uh oh that really really creepy chick that had done like a semi uh porn movie when she
was like 18 years old in one day yeah yeah and uh he was in what was the one where he's like in a –
he and Sarah Jessica Parker are like boat cops.
Frankenstein fights Dracula.
That's it.
That's it.
Yeah.
But anyway, congratulations, Kevin Kraft.
You did it.
Yay.
Nice work.
Yeah.
You're the big winner.
There's no prize other than, you know, personal pride.
Respect.
You've earned the respect like Fast and Furious.
Yeah.
Deep, deep respect to you.
Damn it.
Wasn't he in Fast and Furious?
One of them?
No.
No.
Is Gattaca a real movie?
Yeah, Gattaca.
But he wasn't in that, was he?
Hey, you know where you guys really missed out, and I did as well, of course.
We could have really gone crazy with the, he's in like five Wes Anderson movies.
Oh, fuck, that's right.
Oh, shit.
Or at least three.
He's in at least three of them, I think.
But anyway, the dude's made a lot of movies
he's like started making movies in 1984
and it does not stop
he's great I follow
his kids on Instagram and I see him just
ruling in the background he's like I give
a fuck I'm the champ
oh North I forgot
about North where he wears a bunny costume.
All right. All right.
I bet you got some calls about that during, uh, over Easter.
Maybe I could collaborate on something one day.
Oh my God. You guys can make the ultimate, uh, Easter bunny movie.
one day. Oh my god, you guys can make the ultimate Easter Bunny movie.
We got a few minutes
left over here if you guys want to
talk recent movies.
Does anybody have any
recommendations, especially
something that would be fun to be able to watch
during this
pandemic?
Fantasy Island. I watched Fantasy Island
last night. You did?
It got like 17% or
some shit on Rotten Tomatoes.
I feel like there's
movies before quarantine and then
there's movies in quarantine.
They just
get a bigger
percentage of a rating because
what the fuck else?
I'm like, oh, a new movie.
I'm watching the shit out of it.
I think maybe I would have given up halfway through,
but there are scenes, there is parts of it where it's really intriguing
and it's action-packed.
So is it the greatest storyline ever? Not really. It doesn't kind of exactly add up, but it's action packed. So is it the greatest storyline ever?
Not really.
It doesn't kind of exactly add up, but it's still pretty funny.
It's pretty cool.
Did you ever see the original TV series?
Yeah.
Because it was, you know, incredibly uneven and not particularly good itself.
Yeah.
I just don't, I just felt like like because it was TV, that's okay.
But then when it gets to the movies, then yeah.
But it's kind of like it's more of a horror movie than the TV show.
Yeah, it's like they blumhoused it.
Like they took the TV show and made it more scary.
Yeah, so I thought that part was awesome.
But it's not very violent, though, right?
Because isn't it just a PG-13?
Okay, well, that's funny because I didn't actually check the rating,
but I thought there was, yeah, I mean, there was a big, gnarly, scary dude
that was cutting people's arms open and stuff.
I thought that was, I guess he never really got away with full torture, but
he looked pretty brutal. He was doing the job.
I thought there was some scary
scenes in it. Alright, so maybe
it is R-rated.
I think, I just can't, I mean, I feel like
maybe it is, because I feel like there was
the girl in it. There's a couple of girls in it.
I can't remember. They just seemed like they were
saying motherfucker all the time, but
maybe it was just in my head.
Speaking of fantasy Island,
has anybody seen my dinner with Herve?
I've been meaning to get around to that.
No,
I heard that was great though.
That was about the little dude,
the dude from fantasy Island,
right?
Yes.
Herveville chase played by Peter Dinklage.
Yeah,
that's pretty crazy.
And then I saw that underwater one as well with that chick that's from the uh vampire good-looking kids movies
uh christian stewart yeah how was that i heard that sucked was that good oh 47 below
no that's the end that's the shark one yeah this one's the deep, deep under the sea
and something cracks and they've just got to try and get
the fuck out of there and escape and a bunch of shit
happens because there's some stuff
down there that's fucking with them. No spoiler alert
for me, but I thought it was
awesome because
of just the
whole thought of those
people that far down there and shit tracking
and them losing their air and all kinds
of shit.
Once again, if it wasn't for quarantine,
I would give it a fucking
five out of ten, but it's like a seven
because what the fuck else am I doing?
The old
quarantine two points.
I saw
The Invisible Man. Have you guys seen that?
The new one? Yeah, I hate that movie.
Really? That was so interesting.
Why is The Invisible Man always such a fucking
dick, dude? It's never like a
cool Invisible Man. It's always like, I'm gonna
rape some bitches.
The Invisible Man
kicked back.
He did a movie theater for free.
I guess it's just that he just
wants to be seen. I guess so.
And you know what's weird? The Invisible Man,
he was all skinny and
athletic. You could never have a fat
Invisible Man. Kelly and I
both want to know, why is that girl the star
of a movie? She's not hot at all.
I don't get her. People love her.
People love
Elizabeth Moss. She's
a very committed actress. if you if you want to
see her playing a really uh over the top annoying character uh there's a movie called her smell that
she did that uh where she plays this uh kind of punk rock singer who's past her prime and uh
really annoying and uh did you see Us, the Jordan Peele?
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah, she was in there.
Yeah, she was super crazy in that one.
I just think she's a very committed actress.
Like, the number of scenes in Invisible Man where she has to fucking,
you know, pretend to be fighting with somebody that's not there,
it's pretty amazing.
Yeah. Okay. Didn't think of that. not there. It's pretty amazing. Yeah.
Okay.
Didn't think of that.
Right.
I mean, I get it.
I think the reason she works so much is because she's a really good actress
and she's gotten, you know, I haven't seen Handmaid's Tale,
but, you know, they're giving her, you know, tons of awards for that.
And Mad Men was what put her on.
I watched that with my wife.
It's pretty good, I guess.
It is? You like it? I wouldn't say I like, I mean, man, I thought it was, it got lame.
It got lame later on. But at the start, I was like, holy shit, you know,
but I was one of those things where I'm married. So
I liked it. Yeah. But also, why does it have to
I wouldn't have watched it, but I why does it have to because I wouldn't have
watched it but I wouldn't have committed to it
I would have stepped away from it
that's why I just think it's one of those
it feels like one of those series where the premise
is just like why is this going to go on
season after season like the
TV show MASH was like 11 years
and it was like a war that lasted
for three months
right I think that yeah because in the end I was like, what,
this what what's new, like you're going to get fucked over again.
I saw that, you know, that's why I gave up on it.
I mean, it was based on a novel.
So I know I assume the novel has an ending and probably a pretty good one
because people like the novel and I finished the first season and I didn't
like love it to me.
It felt like it was like the best prestige show that ever came out of Canada.
You know, like it just felt a little,
a little loose around the edges for something that was supposed to be such a
banger of a show.
And I didn't start the second season because I knew there was a third season.
If they could have wrapped it up in two, I would have gone through two,
but if that's going to keep going, it's not good enough to keep me entertained.
I'm kind of with Jason on that.
Alright.
What about you,
Dustin? Anything
you've been watching you can recommend?
Oh,
I watched Snowpiercer. That was awesome.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Yeah.
It's about class and stuff. I've been watching a bunch
of movies like that where, like,
it's all a metaphor for something else.
Like that movie, The Platform, with, like, the poor people.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they got a plate of food and it comes down.
If you're in the top floors, you get to eat.
But if you're on the bottom floors, they just leave you the fucked up shit.
You're going to, like, eat your roommate or something it's crazy yeah that movie uh that movie is uh just unappetizing
like i just can't wait it's an eight people movie yeah oh no it's some kind of
it's like weird it's very weird.
It's filmed very simply where it's like just this.
That doesn't add up.
If you're going to have people eat people in a movie,
you can't make it very simple.
It has to be very complex.
It's like a prison and on each,
it has these different levels and there's two people at each level
and the people at the top, they start with a table of food
and then it goes down each level
and each time it gets a little bit less
and less and less and less.
And people are like pissing on it
and being like, fuck the people down there.
And it's some metaphor for like,
ah, rich people and where can't we get along
or something, you know?
Right.
I finally get it.
Yeah.
I mean, it feels, it sounds like you're describing
a documentary that takes place now, right, Dustin? A little bit.
Yeah.
I could see that.
Well, on that sad note, Kevin Craft?
I was watching that series Devs on Hulu.
That's a pretty solid show.
It's limited. It's only eight episodes a pretty solid show. It's limited.
It's only eight,
eight episodes.
Some good quality.
I like that.
What's it about?
Uh,
it's,
it's like a sci-fi thriller with Nick Offerman and they have like this top
secret,
uh,
development project at a Silicon Valley firm.
It's pretty cool.
That's awesome.
Um,
and if people need like good pick me up stuff, cause everybody's all bummed out and lonely three, very stupid, um,
but very funny comedies that I love that always cheer me up are spy, uh,
uh, get smart with Steve Carell and Gruber.
So you like funny movies about spies?
Yes.
Oh, to add on to that, The Man Who Knew Too Little,
another funny spy movie.
And I also just want to ask, Doug,
have you seen Portrait of a Lady on Fire?
I have not because people rave about it so much,
like film critics and fancy
types that I'm just sure I'm going to find it boring.
Yep. You're, you're dead on. I didn't like that.
Yeah. I really want to, you know,
just hunker down and watch it because you know, people are saying it's,
you know, really good, but you know, I just,
sometimes critical favorites I just favorites I find incredibly boring.
There is some hot lesbian armpit fingering in it, though.
What?
Both intrigued and aroused equally.
Wait, somebody –
When this is over.
A girl fingers another girl's armpit?
Yeah.
What?
I'm doing things so wrong all these years.
I know, right? Wait wait that's what they like
I didn't know that was an erogenous zone
alright
I got a finger in my chick's armpit
alright Christy
good luck with that
yeah I'll get back to you on that
two fingers
or one
I think it started one and went to two dang did it do like circle stimulation or
was it a finger blast it's hard to tell the armpits were kind of hairy could it
i mean did it did it escalate into a fisting the armpit?
You could.
It'd be easier, right?
What a weird – that'd be so weird just moving your fist around in an armpit.
Man, but you know someone's into that.
It's me.
It's me.
I was going to say, yeah, you got me. You know it, Justin Ibarra.
Do you guys have anything you want to plug in particular other than the Jason Ellis show weekdays on faction talk on Sirius XM?
The, I got a book, Tali and I made a book, plug that,
get that on Amazon and Jason Ellis book.com.
What's it called?
Still awesome. The trials and tribulations of an Egotistical Maniac.
The highly anticipated follow-up to the New York Times bestseller,
I'm Awesome.
That's a great title, but I also was excited that maybe the title was
Tully and I Made a Book.
was Tully and I made a book.
SiriusXM is also doing a promo.
If you go to SiriusXM.com slash faction, the number four free,
you can sign up and get like a free trial and listen to the Jason Ellis show.
I love it.
I love it.
Dustin Ibarra, what's anything else you'd like to add
just social media
my Instagram
Dustin
underscore Ibarra
YouTube
all that
not doing any shows
for a bit
but
hey
we'll see what happens
do you have like a date
that's on the books
that you're hoping
you'll be able to do
no they all went away
they all like
immediately
it'll all come back
Dustin we're gonna do shows everywhere we're all gonna set out private areas No, they all went away. They all like immediately. It'll all come back, Dustin.
It will.
We're all going to set out private areas on fire
and do cartwheels
for live studio audiences
around the fucking world.
It's going to be huge.
I love that. That sounds great.
Douglovesmovies.com
for my
evolving road dates.
And the next episode of this show is going to plop on Friday, April 24th.
Thank you to all my guests.
Have a great 420, you guys.
And as always, positive energy.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies