Doug Loves Movies - Jason Sklar, Randy Sklar and "Mark Wahlberg" guest
Episode Date: August 30, 2015Live from Madison, WI, Doug welcomes Jason Sklar, Randy Sklar and "Mark Wahlberg" to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19....com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Don't hate candy, peppers, cream, and baby sticky seeds
With 50 eyes and a lot more kernels in his teeth
There's still not more that he won't steal
But God loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Hey!
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again from Comedy on State,
the world's greatest comedy club under a bank.
In Madison, Wisconsin.
Wisconsin!
It's always great to be in Scott Walker country Most of the times he turns up as a shithead at the end
It's Saturday, but he's always a shithead
It's Saturday, August 29th, 2015.
Let me see your name tags, Madison.
I know you guys went nuts.
Oh, I like this train wreck, but Terran wreck.
And it's you and me instead of Amy Schumer and Bill Hader.
Those weirdos.
That'd be a much better movie.
Air in America.
Summer of Sammy
Connor
what is that?
The Barbarian
Connor the Barbarian
there's a box of donuts
right up front
there's a dude
up front with a Greg Outdoors
poster and he's wearing
a Decency or Death t-shirt.
That's a Jeff Tate t-shirt.
And the last samurai.
Your name is Sam.
That makes sense.
There's so many of them.
So many good ones.
And they go deep all the way back in the entire room.
So there's a really creepy mask from the Dark Knight over there.
Thank you guys for bringing those. We will definitely have a hard, my guests have a hard road ahead of them deciding which
name tags to play for. It's a dazzling array of name tags. I got a few plugs I got to get out of
the way. If you guys feel like driving
very far you can see me in Columbia
Missouri doing stand up on
Wednesday September 2nd
at Deja Vu it's not a strip club
it's a comedy club
Seattle Washington
Doug Loves Movies returns to the
beautiful Neptune Theater next Friday
September 4th and Orlando
Florida gets another Doug Loves Movies
at the Improv in Orlando
on Wednesday, September 9th.
Deets for these shows and lots of
others can be found at DougLovesMovies.com.
I had a
great time in Wichita
on Thursday night and
I'll be back to do a
Doug Loves Movies in Kansas
sometime in the future for sure.
From the corrections department,
William Gibson
wrote Johnny Mnemonic,
so he deserves the blame.
Not
Philip K. Dick.
So don't dick around with that,
you guys. It's all
on Gibby Gibson.
The prize bag is
so, like people
keep bringing me stuff.
A dude in the audience, can I say your name, dude?
Yes.
Okay, yes.
Daniel Spangler,
Dan Spangler,
oh, I even know you,
brought a bag
from Warner Brothers
with some, a really nice Warner Brothers tote bag.
It's nicer than the Gap bag that I was using
to carry all the prizes.
And then there's some really interesting stuff inside there
that we'll sort through when the guests get out here.
But what I brought to give away today
includes, in Wichita, a dude gave me one of those pop custom vinyl doll characters.
But it's a DIY one where you draw whatever you want on it.
So he created a Doug Benson vinyl character.
And I can only have so many things sitting around my house that are versions
of me before it just
starts to feel weird so
I hope the guy doesn't mind me
re-gifting it to someone that might appreciate
it more. We've got several
CDs from A Special Thing
Records including
my own
I should give those guys plugs though, Jared
Logan CD, Sean White and Barry Rothbart I should give those guys plugs, though. Jared Logan, CD, Sean White,
and Barry Rothbart.
Oh, people know those guys.
That's good.
Special Things Records is always on the cutting edge
of all the latest great things going on in comedy.
And I flew first class, or business class,
I should say, to Europe recently,
and the airline gave me a nice little bag with, you know, toothpaste and various things in it,
so I'm giving that away.
I've been doing these for a few weeks now on the show.
It's a book that I actually read because I'm a huge fan of all the Disney parks
And it's a book called
The E-Ticket Life by Kyle Burbank
I'm giving away one of those
Somebody brought by a comic book
For me to give away
That's the Thrilling Adventure Hour
Comic book Beyond Belief
And then
On the back they stuck a
One free slice
at Ian's.
Ian's Pizza, where I always
stop by every time I'm in town.
Yesterday I had a lovely slice of
macaroni and cheese.
Quite delicious. And then
also in Wichita,
somebody made some shirts
for me. I'm wearing
one of them right now on my body.
And I'm wearing the extra large one,
and the large one that would be too tight on me,
I'm going to give away,
but it's a really weird-looking shirt
where I'm some sort of crazy frog thing or something.
And it says, hi, how are you?
And the listeners can guess how high is spelled.
And I think, oh wait, there's more.
Also, the hotel I'm staying at
gives everybody when they check in a little cow pie.
And I'm not going to eat that,
so I'm putting that in That's in the bag.
And also, just out on the street, a gentleman gave me a bunch of stickers that say Weed-Sconston University.
I'm sorry, University of Weed-Sconston.
Gotta make sure to get that right.
And then there's going to be more stuff in the bag from my guests,
so please give a big warm welcome to Jason Sklar, Randy Sklar, and Mark Wahlberg. Thank you. Cheap seats
Wahlberg was great on cheap seats
He was fantastic on cheap seats
Yep, eyes are too wide open
Okay
Oh, my vinyl doll doesn't replicate
My own actual look
No I can go with that Oh, my vinyl doll doesn't replicate my own actual look?
No.
I can go with that.
That's Randy Sklar, everybody.
First to speak on this show always wins the Pete Holmes Award.
That's right.
There's no prize involved. It's just more of an honor that's spoken rather than giving you anything
for your trouble.
But I think I said something first.
I think so, maybe.
I might have been turned away.
You might have been high.
I'm not sure.
No, no, no.
That's why we start at 4.30.
Jason and Randy, of course,
are headlining all weekend here at Comedy Estate.
Does anybody come to see them?
Best part.
Two more shows tonight.
Do you know what time the shows are at?
8 and 10.
8 sold out.
8 sold out.
10.30 has like 30 tickets or 20 tickets left.
That's it.
Yeah.
So, you know, after the show's over, buy some tickets. Go get really, 10.30 has like 30 tickets or 20 tickets left. That's it. Yeah, so, you know,
after the show's over,
buy some tickets,
go get really,
really drunk
over the next
four hours.
Try and form
your own
bachelorette party
and come on out.
Put on some
penis hats.
Let's do this.
There's nothing
better than
seeing that
as you walk into it.
But in Wisconsin,
it's like a penis hat
made of cheese.
That's it.
It's just a cheese penis.
Just a small gouda.
A cheenus.
A cheenus.
And you guys are
also contributing to the prize bag.
What did you bring for us?
We brought a combo
CD-DVD of our last comedy album,
which we recorded here in Madison at the Majestic Theater.
It's called What Are We Talking About?
And it kind of reminds me of a problem I had with one of my albums.
My album, Smug Life, the cover is kind of a parody of a rap cover, a rap album,
with Smug and Life written on my knuckles, and I've got a hoodie on and sunglasses,
and it's real badass, but people send me pictures all the time of record stores putting it in the rap section.
And you guys, your cover, you just look like full-blown sports announcers up in the booth,
so I wonder what part of the store
this ends up in.
The garbage.
Behind the store.
Just some post-game analysis.
Sklar Brothers' new record is available
in the dumpster, if anybody's...
While you're out there
smoking with Doug Benson.
It's the original bargain bin.
Yeah.
And plug your ears, gentlemen, if you don't
like a lot of loud screeching
noises, because I have to say Mark Wahlberg
is here.
Second time on the show in Madison.
Why do you keep coming back to Madison?
How you guys doing? You doing good?
I fucking love it here.
Last time I was here,
someone dared me.
I couldn't swim up the Fox River.
And I'm fucking doing it starting tomorrow.
I'm going to stop at a sandbar, do some
push-ups, and keep fucking going.
And what'd you bring
for the prize bag, Mark? I brought some
good shit, dude.
It's a
petty egg.
A what? A petty egg A what?
A petty egg Gotta take care of the toes
Hey, what do I tell you motherfuckers?
Look good, feel good
I've never seen a petty egg before
And I brought you a cookie
Oh, thanks
Is this for me or for the bag?
That's for the bag.
Okay.
Yeah, it doesn't have
weed in it.
Worse, it's got calories.
So true.
Whoever wins that,
if you want,
I'll buy you an elliptical.
That's quite an offer.
I don't know if you really want to
I got six of them in the car
Kind of a car idea
If you got six ellipticals in the car
Where does Donnie sit?
The driver's seat
I told him
I'm like you don't need a room
You just have to steer
It's more of a van
And
I mentioned this earlier.
An old colleague of mine brought a really nice bag that says WB on it.
And it's even got like a, it's so fancy that the snap on the front is a magnetized snap.
Like it's not an actual snap.
So it can erase everything on the computer you put inside of it.
That's right.
It's a great touch. You probably shouldn't put a computer in this bag.
But then it's full of, I used to see these all the time back in the day,
and I haven't seen one in a long time,
press kits for four different motion pictures.
And it's basically just like a lot of printed hoo-ha,
but then also like a stack of stills.
And here's one for Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
It's just got stuff like that in it.
Keanu Reeves in a tuxedo.
Yeah.
I don't remember why he ends up in a tuxedo in Bill and Ted.
I don't think he does.
When he's in Bill and Ted's, doesn't he flash forward to the future
when he's in Something's Gotta Give?
And you just see him terrified that he's not going to get back.
I love, it's just, press kits are so full of a bunch of useless information.
Just all these credits and stuff.
But Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure will open nationwide on Friday,
February 17th, 1989.
They're like, what?
They knock their drinks over like,
we got to get a time machine.
To 20 seconds ago.
And then we've got a press kit
for Tom Cruise classic
Born on the Fourth of July.
He was actually taller
sitting in the wheelchair.
It's one of my favorite
movie titles
because Tom Cruise was born
on the third of July.
We have a crazy story.
Randy and I, actually,
speaking of Hustler, we were...
Isn't that the movie about Larry Flynn?
That's a Larry Flynn story, born on the 4th.
The people versus the 4th of July.
We were featured in a Hustler magazine.
They wanted to do a photo spread with us,
and we told them that we had to be,
the woman had to be clothed.
And that was like a big uproar at Hustler magazine.
And we fucking won.
The Sklars versus Hustler magazine.
Why can't we have that movie?
We just were like,
I just want a look on the people's faces
who are jerking off
as they're looking
and then they come
to an article about us.
What?
They're,
ugh.
Such disappointment.
You just push through
on that shit.
Yeah.
Even if it brings up
weird feelings,
you push through it.
I've never quit anything
in my life.
I'm not quitting this.
The old jerking brows.
Just flipping through the magazine.
And I don't know how to feel about this.
The Robin Williams movie, Cadillac Man?
Good movie.
Great movie.
Yeah, it's an interesting movie.
Tim Robbins takes over the dealership with a gun.
Yeah.
So it's kind of a scary idea for a movie.
Yeah, it's a comedy.
And then this is, I might want to keep this.
The thing about Cadillac Man is that there is, it is like serious in many moments.
And then there's that totally farcical thing with the police department setting up at the Chinese restaurant.
Like it's the most stereotypical, like the worst racist to Chinese people thing ever.
You stop steak out.
We try to serve food.
That kind of thing.
It's just John Panette
doing his bit.
You go now.
You've been here for an hour.
The final,
a little banged up,
but worth it,
worth the trouble,
press kit
is for Kindergarten Cop.
I turned that down.
I turned it down. It's the only cop movie I've turned that down. I turned it down.
It's the only cop movie
I've ever turned down.
Actually, the way
you describe that
is how Arnold Schwarzenegger's
nanny sold herself to him.
A little banged up,
but worth the trouble.
So all of that stuff,
all this valuable stuff,
is going to belong to someone at the end of the show today.
I got a couple of questions I wanted to ask you guys
because it's interesting to have the three of you
together because that's how
I met Mark Wahlberg is he's made
appearances on the Scarborough
County or country.
Which one? Both.
Both.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
That's just a
given. Thank you. That's just a given.
Thank you. That's understood.
And of course, the TV series Entourage is based on Mark's life
and he's a producer.
Except that dude wasn't a good actor, though.
Well, that's a weird thing to say.
I mean, you picked him to play...
No, I didn't pick him.
It's the one thing I gave up.
I was like, he's got really good hair. And they took
that as a yes. No.
You're talking about Piven?
What's that? Piven doesn't have good hair. I love Jeremy
Piven. That dude, sometimes I invite him over
just to smack him.
And he's like, I'm down. Yeah.
That's what Cusack did to him for years.
Figuratively.
Come in this movie and I'll let you be in a scene
And smack you around
But Mark
You made the Entourage movie
And one of my favorite episodes
One of the best things that ever happened
On Entourage the series
Was when the Sklar brothers were on the show
As agents
Who are brothers but don't get along with each other.
And sleep with each other's wives and whatnot.
And they were so great on the TV show, I was saddened that they didn't have a cameo in the film.
So I thought I'd just ask you, especially your friends with them, why didn't you...
Here's the deal.
Okay.
Other than me, let's be honest, that movie was a little less than great
definitely fucking good
I'm sure you guys saw it twice but not three times
and I'm like
I want to be the person
who saves this movie I want to be the fucking
lone survivor of this movie technically
from my character standpoint it is
the sequel to lone survivor but that's a whole
other story
so I'm like, why bring these
dudes in? Then there's other people going to be getting
credit for how fucking good they are in it.
And if there's one thing I don't fucking do, it's
share credit. That's right.
You did that with Christian Bale once.
And that's it.
That Oscar should have been yours.
I know. I get skinny for the gambler and nobody gives
a fuck. Nobody cares.
Nobody cares. I'm out there doing math, making nobody gives a fuck. Nobody cares. Nobody cares.
I'm out there doing math, making bets at Blackjack.
Will he get to 21?
I don't know, let's give him an Oscar.
Nope.
Yeah, you really got Delta losing hand on that one.
I know what you fucking did there.
I know what you fucking did there That line was said
Eight times in that movie
I just want you to know
Doug do we ever tell you
Our Mary J. Blige story
About
It sounds perfect
For Doug Loves Movies
From the set of Entourage
Doug Loves Mary
Do you want to hear it Or do we It's starting to sound Vaguely familiar loves movies. From the set of Entourage. Doug loves Mary.
Do you want to hear it or do it?
It's starting to sound vaguely familiar,
but tell it anyway.
So we're on the set, and our characters are like... Mine was Jim,
and yours was...
Yours was Jim, and mine was Jeff.
That's who you were. Jim and Jeff. Jeff Jensen.
And Mary J. Blige is on the set.
First of all, Mary J. Blige, she's in that episode.
She comes with her own entourage.
So she has a whole Blige entourage.
And it is very clear that no one in that entourage ever tells her no, ever.
She was wearing the hotel slippers that you're not supposed to leave the hotel with.
No, she's in those slippers.
We're like, I don't think you're supposed to walk on the street with those slippers.
But no one in her entourage was like, go put some shoes on, Mary.
They're like, no, just let her go.
Let her do her thing.
We're lucky to be here.
We have the whole day with her.
And it's a great day.
And we're pretty psyched.
We're trying to keep it cool.
At the end of the day, I'm really, really excited.
Day's over, and I can come up to her, and I'm like, Mary, I just want to say I'm a huge fan.
Thank you so much.
You're such a wonderful performer.
And she looked me in the eye and she took it in and it was great.
She looks me in the eye, puts her hand on my shoulder,
and she's like, thanks, Jeff.
So not only did she not get my character's name right,
she didn't realize that we were playing characters.
Like, we had to be like,
that's a picture of Beverly Hills back there.
I mean, I know you're...
We know you're playing Mary J. Blige,
but we're actors.
We're not actual agents.
And this isn't an agency that's doing any work in Hollywood.
So I was stuck.
I was in the moment.
So I just looked at her and I was like, it's Jim.
I was like, I can't do two levels of explanations to this one.
And you understood.
I'm like, let me just keep her in the bludge bubble for another hour.
Can I defend her for a second?
I'm just going to say, hypothetically,
sometimes you're a huge fucking international star,
a world fucking icon,
and you get into a fist fight with an extra.
They just roll it, and they're like,
that's part of the fucking movie now.
So she just was in deep, okay?
And I shot a kid in Lone Survivor.
It's not fucking important.
Wait, what?
okay and I shot a kid in Lone Survivor it's not fucking important I thought he was running to get coffee I thought we were going live nobody fucking told me it was like Child's Play 2
you may have seen Jason and Randy in multiple appearances on the Comedy Central show At Midnight.
Never heard of it.
Have you both won? You're always on
together. We both won.
We've never won collectively as a unit.
Right, but you've bested each other.
Yes, yes.
Do you always make it to the final two?
Well, one of us always makes it
to the final two. Yeah, that's pretty much
guaranteed. If it's the two of us
and one of us. Yeah, yeah, one of you.
One out of three. Every time.
Yes. But,
so Asglar is represented.
But we have
made it down to the final two.
And a lot of times, like, I don't know what it is.
We've been in with people where it's
close enough that they'll just say, oh, fuck it, let's bring all three.
So there's been some where all three of us come to the end.
Yeah, it makes me very angry when that happens.
Yeah, the points are arbitrary, too, Doug.
Yeah, it's all just arbitrary, but I still want to win.
You do want to win.
You do want to win.
Because, I mean, what's great is that last thing is no one knows who's delivering it.
So you can, it is actually judged correctly.
Well, he wasn't able to be here today, I don't think.
But a super fan of all of us was here at the club last night when I was hanging out.
And he said to me about you guys on that midnight, why don't they go on separately?
When they're on together, I don't know who to root for.
It's a pretty good point.
It's a great point.
Why don't you each show up separately?
I think we will start going on separately.
I think that's a good idea.
Yeah, yeah.
We will definitely do that.
But I just love that the guy's like,
I can't enjoy At Midnight unless I'm rooting for one fucking person.
Don't divide that shit on me.
No, no, no.
Can't enjoy it. It's a weird approach. That guy doesn't divide that shit on me. No, no, no. Can't enjoy it.
It's like,
that guy doesn't want
Bernie Saunders.
Saunders or Sanders?
And did you call him
Bernie?
Bernie has a twin brother
named Bernie
who doesn't want to be
associated with him
so he changed his last name
to Saunders.
No, Bernie Saunders spent a lot of time in the wilderness,
and there's that famous scene where Werner Herzog watches him.
Just listens to him.
The audio of him.
That movie's fucked up.
I swear to God, I wish they had cast me in that movie
instead of that John Denver-looking motherfucker.
Because I'd have beat the shit out of those guys.
I'm like, not in my fucking tent.
One of us is leaving, and his name's Mark.
And I didn't name you Mark, it's me.
It would have been a better movie.
It would have been a way better movie.
So what about when you guys,
when the Sklar brothers are watching,
together or separately,
a movie that has twins in it,
do you have,
are you extra opinionated about it?
Like a lawyer watching a courtroom drama?
Are they doing that right?
Yeah.
Does that seem right?
Do they have the twin experience down?
Like, I wrote down some examples.
Yeah, what are they?
Like, do you guys have a favorite movie that has twins in it?
Other than, of course, your own performances and things like Wild Hogs.
That's it.
That was it.
That's our favorite movie.
Yes.
With twins in it.
That's a great fucking movie.
That was a great movie.
That and the movie Twins.
Danny DeVito. That's what I wrote down.
Twins, of course, is the first example
of a movie with twins in it.
Those dudes are twins? Yeah.
They're twins. Oh, they're fucking
not. Are they really? They are.
Same mother. No way. Same suit.
Say they wore the same suit. You're telling me
the Terminator and the Penguin are fucking twins.
Yeah. Same suit. Hold on.inator and the penguin are fucking twins. Yeah
Same suit. Hold on. Yeah, I'm gonna call them
Born small because the womb was too crowded
They were the same size but Schwarzenegger took them or if you want to go the creepy route there was
Jeremy Irons and dead ringers. Yeah, there's always like a moment when they, you know. He's a doctor.
He's a gynecologist in that one.
Is that how that worked?
Yes.
That's fun.
I like that.
He's a gynecologist and every once in a while he'd announce to the woman,
we got to get forehands in this situation.
Yeah. The Shining has twins in it. Shining has the creepy twins. in this situation. Oh, yeah.
The Shining has twins in it.
Shining has the creepy twins.
Those guys are great.
Those girls.
What are they doing today?
Why don't you guys,
you should do like a Christmas card
where you're standing in a hotel hallway.
Just in those dresses.
Just a river,
a river of blood.
A river of blood
and we're just,
just underneath
mistletoe.
Hope it's a red
Christmas.
And my good friend and friend of
audience members as well, Jeff
Tate, when I told him recently
that the Winklevoss twins in Social
Network were the same guy, he was
surprised.
What? That scares us. That that whole thing I'm like I
don't want that technology to get so good cuz then and then then we feel like typewriters were obsolete
we're never gonna work again that's you're never gonna need anybody again cuz you could always get
the best actor in split-screen him yeah well they call you when they want twins that don't have the
same facial hair that's right about the fucking greatest twin movie of all time, dude?
Okay.
Hayley fucking Mills in The Parent Trap.
Okay.
Let's get together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We can have a real great time.
Let's get together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're gonna fuck at your place or mine.
Some of those words are a little off.
I don't remember that.
Well, that's how we sang it in Boston
okay
no the
the best twin movie
of all time
is Adaptation
that is by far
yeah Nicholas Cage
does a pretty good job
I remember
a friend of ours
who
do you know
Jeff Goldsmith
he does like
a screenwriting podcast
anyway a big podcast
someone we knew
for a long time
got us that script
like I know it was in turnaround
for years and years, but way before
the movie, we read that script and we were like,
this is one of the coolest things I've ever seen.
It can only be handled
by the best of the best of the best
and then it was. It's such a high
bar. I was like, Nick Cage.
People are tittering because it's
fun to make fun of Nick Cage, but
I think the reason people make fun of him
is because he's always made bold choices,
and many of those choices have been terrible.
But the boldness with which he does it
makes the great ones great.
The great ones are great.
The great ones are great.
Brian Cox is the chorus.
You took the chorus from that guy.
Robert McKee. Yeah, the screen from that guy. Robert McKee.
The screenwriter.
That was such a great character.
You took his class.
I took that guy's class.
You know who we're talking about? Robert McKee who wrote a book
about screenwriting. He was just like
the biggest asshole ever.
Biggest?
Yeah.
Mark does not want to lose in any competition.
It does not matter.
And it's a winner, bro.
Finish that off.
No, but that movie was,
for twins,
that was just fantastic.
I always thought,
I've been thinking about this
a lot recently,
if Nicolas Cage was a food,
he would be a ghost pepper.
Just gone in 60 seconds.
That's pretty much it.
I'm still trying to figure out what that guy yelled.
What did he yell?
Oh, Brussels sprouts.
You're wrong.
That's actually Jean-Claude Van Damme.
But anyway.
Nicolas Cage can be any food you want him to be.
That's how good an actor he is.
Have you been to the movies lately, Mark?
Have you seen anything this summer besides Ted 2?
Again?
So fucking good.
You know what I saw?
What?
Mr. Holmes.
How'd that work out for you?
I mean... First of all, why didn't
they cast you in that role? That's a big question.
Turned it down.
I tried. Yeah.
No, turned it down.
I'm not into pretending I'm old, because it'll
never fucking happen.
It's actually a really, really
good fucking movie, and people should go see it.
You need to watch it a couple times to figure out what the
fuck's going on.
Some people disagree with me.
But it's actually really fucking
good. People should go see it.
It's the whole time that pissed me off
because I was like,
why is this hard to solve?
You're Gandalf.
Because he wears a rope. No horses. Why is this hard to solve? You're Gandalf. He didn't...
Because he wears a robe.
No horses.
Other than that, it's okay.
Now that I think about it,
fuck that movie.
That's right.
You came around.
You came around.
Although best advice
I can ever give a fat person.
Run, you fool. Run, you fool.
Run, you fool.
Run.
What's that from?
That's the movie with the midgets
trying to throw a ring-a-right away.
Remember, it's...
You know Gandalf, but you don't know
Lord of the Rings?
It's the creepy kid from Sin City
and Rudy Rudiger became friends.
He cut his fingernails.
The other dude grew his hair out.
He quit football.
They hate shoes.
The whole time I was like,
I'll buy you a pair of rainbow slippers.
What the fuck do you need?
And then they're like, he fights like a demon.
Basically what Donnie's been doing for 30 years.
A lot of demons.
And he tells him, he's like, run, you fools.
And that's the best thing you can tell a fat person.
Fly, you fools.
All right.
Fly, you fools.
Fly, you fools.
Okay, we'll find out about it later.
We'll see.
If you want to split hairs.
I get the most
correcting audience of any
show. If I say anything wrong,
somebody's like... Actually, it's the most
corrective.
Corrective.
The most corrective.
Sorry to...
What about you,
Randy?
Have you seen a movie lately?
My daughter just had
over the summer
had a sleepover birthday party
and they're 10 years old
and we watched A Princess Bride.
It's a great fucking movie.
Hold up, hold up.
I know I'm going to upset a lot of people here.
I sat and watched the movie. It did not hold up as I know I'm going to upset a lot of people here. I sat and watched the movie.
It did not hold up as much
as I wanted it to.
I wanted it to.
People love it, dude.
I know, but I wanted it to hold up more than...
People love having seen it
a long time ago and not watch it again.
That's right.
And just defending it.
It's like the Confederate flag. Enough already.
Alright. Take it down.
What's
wrong with a movie with Christopher Guest
where he's not funny for one second?
What is wrong with that? He's the bad guy.
I know, but he's fucking hilarious.
And he's funny in that one scene where he turns and runs.
Yes. That is funny.
Funny in that one scene.
There was like a moment in that movie,
honestly, all of you who really love it,
where you're like,
are we putting too much comedy
on Andre the Giant's shoulders here?
No one said that.
Wallace Shawn, fantastic.
And there are moments of it,
and it's just great,
but there were moments where I was like,
I cannot believe I literally thought this was the greatest were moments where I was like, I cannot believe I was
literally thought this was the greatest movie ever.
I was like, maybe question myself
and my own taste and judgment.
The movie takes its sweet time.
And to me, that was like, even when I was young
watching it initially,
as much as I love Fred Savage
and Columbo,
I just thought I were going to say
as much as I love Fred Savage
and Kevin Pollak impressions.
Yeah, right.
But as much as I love them,
it's just too much time of him
just telling a story.
And it's like, we're watching a movie.
Just fucking show us the story.
You don't need to constantly go back to Grandpa
telling his long-winded version of it.
But, you know,
it's got some classic lines.
You know?
Robin Wright Penn.
I'm still calling her Penn.
But on the flip side, I watched Young Frankenstein
with my kids, and I was like...
It's perfect.
I was like, completely holed up
all the way through to watch with anybody,
and they fell in love with Marty Feldman.
And I was like,
yeah,
cause he was the fucking best.
And so that,
you know,
it's not like every movie we liked when we were younger doesn't hold up
today,
but I'm just saying I had those two sort of conflicting experience and I was
conflicted because you got to know,
I had that feeling where I was like,
I really want to love this movie so much,
but it didn't,
it's not the same as the other one.
Yeah, no, I get it.
You know, it's one of those things
that you can't convince people otherwise.
There are people that are going to love Hook
no matter what I say.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Fuck yeah.
You can fly,
you can fight,
but can you
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
All fucking day
with that movie.
That mentally ill guy can't find his fucking
marbles. There's black kids rubbing
grown white dudes' faces. It's fucking great.
Oh, that hook.
I thought it was a documentary about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Oh, that was Skyhook.
That was Dunk.
He dunked a lot of women.
Jason, have you been to the cinema?
I have been to the cinema.
The last thing I saw was a kids movie.
Straight Outta Compton.
It was Straight Outta Compton.
It was Straight Outta Compton.
Fucking Brussels sprouts is at it again.
Hey, dude,
how many times do you think
I can yell out shit
before they make me leave?
I love Straight Outta Compton
where they all go into
Eazy-E's head
and there's like joy
and sadness.
AIDS. AIDS.
AIDS.
Too soon, Doug.
I love it when people are like,
oh, that's actually how we fucking die.
Like Doug made a judgment.
He just spoke truth.
No, I signed side out and I loved it.
I thought it was fantastic
and I cried like a baby throughout it.
I really did.
It's really, yeah, it really gets you. It's kind of crazy. I love it. I thought it was fantastic and I cried like a baby throughout it. I really did. It's really, yeah,
it really gets you.
It's kind of crazy.
I love it
and you know what?
I've always loved,
I've loved Richard Kind.
There are times
where I think he's
a little too over the top
and other times
where I think he was beautiful.
I thought his role
as Bing Bong
was so fantastic
and like,
when he jettisons
off the thing as the
just enough. Spoiler alerting the fuck out of
Jesus. Right.
Jay. People don't need to know
there's a character called Bing Bong.
Next thing you know you're going to tell me the minions
are crazy.
Those fuckers are crazy.
I only liked.
Are you partying with the minions?
I've seen them around. You know what Inside Out made me think of most?
It made me feel so fucking good because
I realized that in everybody's head,
like all the normal people out there,
you'll never forget me.
And I'll never fall into that fucking cavernous hole.
I'm just going to be walking around
kicking fucking marbles and starting fights with shit.
That's right.
You're welcome.
Yeah, no, it was great.
The best moment is my son, the line he walked around and quoted.
I'm like, you're quoting Louis Black.
He's like, congratulations, San Francisco.
That line, I'm like, you did it.
It's a funny line that was a great joke in the movie.
There was a lot of funny, obviously I love Amy Poehler, everything she does.
I just was so happy that that movie was what it was.
And I beat down people who criticized it
because I was like,
it did what I wanted it to do in a movie.
I took my kids, they loved it.
I cried and I loved it.
It was a great day.
Just one more movie that I took my kids to see,
Ex Machina.
Unreal.
Unreal.
They really got it. Kids have to learn someday not to fall in love withina. Unreal. Unreal. They really got it.
Kids have to learn someday not to fall in love with robots.
That's right.
That's what I do in Transformers
4, 5, and 9.
He's going to take
four off.
Take four off.
You're going to sit out a few?
Yeah, they're just going to do a hologram of me.
Alright, well,
thanks for going to the movies, you guys.
And now it's time for me to say,
let the games begin.
You're not gonna believe the name tags,
you guys. You have a tough, tough
time ahead of you. You gotta pick somebody to play the name tags, you guys. You have a tough, tough time ahead of you.
You've got to pick somebody to play for.
Go physically get the name tag you want to play for.
Okay, I'm going.
And while you do that, we'll take a quick break.
We'll be right back.
Hey, hey, hey.
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You know what I'm going to say next.
That's DraftKings.com.
We're back.
Who are you playing for, Mark?
Mark Wahlberg got some,
looks like it's got some sort of
food attached to it.
I got a protein bar.
I'd like to say,
who wants this?
No, better question.
Who needs it?
Yeah.
Uh-oh, he's going to throw it.
Somebody back there.
Don't hit anybody in the face with it.
There goes the lights.
Wow.
Wow.
Right in the kisser.
I was an invincible.
That was a football movie and you were a punt returner.
Okay.
Special teams guy, not a quarterback.
All right, so.
Should have seen the original script.
All right.
All right, so... Should have seen the original script. All right.
A lot of sidearm throwing in that.
So here's...
So the name tag, Mark,
is for the movie
Lone Survivor,
but you changed it
to Lauren Survivor.
Right.
If you say it fast,
it sounds right.
Lauren Survivor.
Yeah.
Lauren Survivor.
So I fucking love that.
Alright. Good job, Lauren.
There were so many good ones that I just didn't look
the people in the eyes.
A lot of good ones. It's tough.
I'm glad I don't have to make the decision.
God, this is so hard. Randy,
what's yours all about? Harry Charles
presents Sklar's Randy and Jason in
Double Impact. Didn't change the name of it,
but it's like,
we should be in
some sort of a karate movie.
Oh, that'd be amazing.
There are lights on.
This is well lit.
There are like
oven toasted donut holes
in the bottom of this thing.
I think Van Damme
is doing the splits
between two of them right now.
I just love that Van Damme,
Van Damme was not
in the Expendables, was he?
What?
Was he asked to be?
Was he?
Is he going to be in Expendables 4?
Oh, he's in 2?
He was in 2, but he wasn't in 1.
Am I right?
Which kind of...
So did they feel like they didn't need him?
No, they asked him, but he wanted a bigger role.
They asked him, but he wanted to be a bigger role in there.
Are you Jean-Claude Van Damme?
Yeah.
That's weird that he's sitting right up front
giving us all the 411.
He said they asked me,
but I wanted a bigger role.
He was doing the splits the whole time,
which is okay, but all right.
But attached, Randy,
unfortunately it's become kind of a thing
that people bring donuts
because at the shows... You can throw
out donuts. We throw them at people.
So can you hand me those donuts?
Get that slingshot, Doug.
You slingshot them.
There's a slingshot and some donuts.
So we gotta do it.
Take the top off, Doug.
Take your tops off.
Take your tops off.
To be honest with you, Doug,
while you do that,
the only reason I picked Lauren
is she showed a tit
when I watched mine.
Who's tit?
I want to...
The guy who's next to her?
Exactly.
It is Wisconsin.
It is Wisconsin, so...
All right, watch your eyes, everybody.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
This is the greatest thing I've ever seen!
Why doesn't Dunkin' Donuts do this at the store?
Yeah, we'll just shoot them into your mouth.
Give me that slingshot back.
I'm going to do another one. If somebody catches one of these in their mouth, I'll make out with them.
Don't put it in your
mouth now.
Here it comes, Brussels sprouts.
Oh!
Rejected.
Frank Kaminsky reached over and
rejected that.
This one's straight out of Duncan.
Sam Decker.
Rejection.
And one more on the floor.
Those are floor donuts.
The rarest kind.
Oh, nice.
For the listener at home, this is like a carb parade.
And then there's a whole,
somebody pushed a whole box of donuts up on the stage,
but I think the mini,
I think the little donuts was a good call
in this room with the low ceiling.
And like that speaker right there is so dark,
I didn't even notice it.
Both times, I just hit it right into the speaker.
Got credit for two blocks.
Who are you playing for, Jason?
I'm playing for
Corey and the Hendersons.
According to science,
Bigfoot doesn't exist.
And it's pretty amazing.
It's got you guys and Mark Wahlberg on there.
So somebody did their guest detective work
and figured out who was going to be on the show today.
Yeah, Corey.
Apparently Corey did.
So good job.
But they're amazing.
You guys did a fantastic job.
Yeah, lots of great names.
Incredible, incredible stuff. Great name did a fantastic job. Yeah, lots of great name tags. Incredible stuff.
Great name tag.
True story.
I don't give praise because it's usually not deserved,
but these were really fucking good.
Well, somebody's going to win both of the prize bags
tonight if
the person on stage that's playing for them
managed to prevail
in all of these games
and we're going to start with a newish game
it's brand new
this version of this game
we've played a game called
Now Bushimi, Now You Don't
where you have to guess whether or not
Steve Bushimi is in
a particular set of films
and
we ran through all of those,
and then we did another version with another actor.
Today we're going to do Now Tucci Me.
Now You Don't, the films of Stanley Tucci.
Great character actor, he's done a lot of work.
It's an incredible shape.
It can be confusing which movies
he's in.
We'll start with... I wrote down
who I wanted to start with here.
Let's see.
Mark. We'll start with Mark and we'll just work our way across.
This game goes hand in hand with
Platt's Ridiculous, which is
all the films of Oliver Platt.
They were actually in a lot
of movies together.
I was going to call that game
Platitude Problem.
But yeah, that's a good name
for that, and I'll try to do that
in the future. But this is all about
Tucci today.
Oh, and I should give credit to Amanda Taylor
on Twitter suggested doing
now Tucci.
Now you don't.
So we'll start with Mark. Taylor on Twitter suggested doing Now Tucci. Now you don't. Tucci me.
And so we'll start with Mark.
I'll give him three titles. He has to tell me which one Tucci's not in.
If he fails, if he's wrong, then
Randy has a chance to
steal. He only has to name one from the
two films. Phenomenal. So it makes it a little
easier on you.
Which one of these films is
Stanley Tucci not in?
Mark Wahlberg.
Never thought I'd ever say that sentence.
I never thought I'd have to
try and remember Stanley Tucci.
Is he...
Is he not in
Goin' Ape,
Space Chimps, or Monkey Shines
and Experiment in Fear?
You were in An Experiment in Fear, but they just called it Fear.
Which one of those is Stanley Tucci not in?
Goin' Ape.
That's correct!
Wow.
Goin' Ape, of course, starred the twins Danny DeVito and Tony Danza.
What?
Huh?
I think those guys were in it.
All right.
All right, so good job, Mark.
Now we're going to move down to Randy.
Which one of these was Tucci not in?
Prelude to a Kiss,
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,
or Kiss of Death?
Kiss of Death.
Which one was he not in?
I'm sorry, he was in Kiss of Death.
Yes.
If Jason gets it wrong, can I guess?
You will not have a chance
on this particular set of three.
Alright. Pretty sneaky move. Can I guess? You will not have a chance on this particular set of three. All right.
Pretty sneaky move.
What's left here?
We got, is he not in Prelude to a Kiss or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?
Your ex-girlfriend was in Prelude to a Kiss, right?
Wasn't Jackie Hunts in Plane?
No.
I don't think she was.
Great story.
Interesting behind the scenes.
Great fucking story.
Great story. Who owns the movie rights to fucking story. Great story. Who owns the
movie rights to that story?
Some girl you used to bang was in that.
Wasn't she?
I'm going to say Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
You are right. That is correct.
That's not enough.
Great movie.
You're still in it. Now we go to
back to Mark.
It's just between Mark and Jason now.
Was he not in Big, Big Trouble, or Big Night?
Stanley Tucci.
Stanley Tucci.
He's in a lot of movies, and at least two of them are half big in the title.
He wasn't in Big Trouble.
That's incorrect.
He was in Big Trouble. That's incorrect. He was in Big Trouble.
Jason, for the win, can you tell us
which one? Yes,
because he was definitely in Big Night. That's one of my
favorite movies he's ever been in. So, Big.
He was not in Big. He's not in Big. That's right.
Jason's our winner.
He was
in that.
It was him and Monk, right?
Him and Monk in Big Night?
Yeah, Tony Shalhoub.
And the last seven or eight minutes of the movie is just them making eggs.
It's one of the most interesting
climaxes to a movie ever.
I love that movie.
Especially if you're trying to jerk off to it.
The old Browsinger.
Over easy.
Alright, so
we got more games. That doesn't mean that
the prize bag has been
determined or awarded.
No, we got more games to play.
Let's do it. And this next one,
I like to play it when the guests are all
on top of their game and know
what they're doing. And I think that's true
in this case. Let's play a round of
Build a Title, you guys.
This, of course, is the game where I just give you a title.
Jason will start us off, and then we'll go
to Randy and then Mark.
And I'll give you a film title,
and you just have to figure out a way
to add another title
to the first one.
And the movie we're going to go with, just spoke of it, is a film called Kiss of Death.
It has Stanley Tucci in it.
And all you've got to do is come up with a movie that ends in the word kiss or a movie that begins with the word death.
Kiss of Death Becomes Her?
Yes!
Thank you.
Thank you.
I pre-guess, you know, I like to pre-guess
what you might say, and I went with
Death to Smoochie.
That's good.
John Stewart's best film.
Death Becomes Her is a good one.
Randy, you need something that ends in kiss
or begins with her.
And you can't just say her.
That was what I was going to say.
Death Becomes Her.
Kiss of Death Becomes.
Oh, man.
This is really... Yeah. Deathly, I'm sorry, Kiss of Death becomes, oh man.
This is really, yeah.
It's tricky. I know.
Wow, this is hard.
No, it's not.
Ends in kiss or begins with a purr.
I know, I heard you. I i'm sorry this person right here uh
oh i'm playing for uh like like on her majesty's secret service wouldn't count
because that pesky onward at the beginning
why can't it be just her why that is the movie. Because you're not building anything.
You're just sitting there taking a break.
You got anything?
You're out.
It's okay to be out.
Yeah.
Aw.
You're out.
You should be up here.
It's not easy.
I know.
It is not easy. When you're in the audience, you can think of them. It's not easy I know it is not easy When you're in the audience
You can think of them
It's hard
I don't know
Alright
I should have been able
To handle the kiss thing
But I've not
Yeah
You know
I couldn't think of
A lot of movies
That ended in kiss
But let's go to Mark Wahlberg
He just said one earlier
He's ready to go
You were just being all cocky
No no
I'm ready to fucking go
He just wrote a new movie
What was the first movie you saw?
What?
Kiss of Death
Kiss of Death becomes Hercules
Yes!
That's how you do it
That's how you do it. That's how you do it.
That is how it's done.
So that, we come back around to you.
Jason, you need a movie that ends in kiss
or begins with Hercules.
Hercules.
Hercules.
I would say Prelude to a Kiss.
Yes. Of Death becomes Hercules. I would say Prelude to a Kiss of Death
becomes Hercules.
Right?
Is that right?
Thank you.
Scenario applause.
People weren't that impressed
with that.
I understand.
I get it.
I get it.
Now we'll go back over to Mark
and just let me say
right off the bat
for Prelude to a Kiss
at the beginning,
you can't do the movie Pre about Prefontaine.
That doesn't build up either.
Prelude to a Kiss of Death becomes Hercules of Eden.
I'm not fucking around.
I'm not fucking around.
All right, so...
I would have just gone ahead
and said Hercules of New York,
but that's cool.
Jason, can you add anything to that?
Something that ends in prelude.
I'm ready to go again.
Or begins with Eden.
Or
just Den
would work.
What, do you got a fucking spoon feed at home?
I mean, like if Denny's
was a movie.
And not just the greatest restaurant
in the world. movie. Right. And not just the greatest restaurant in the world.
Den.
Oh.
All right, man.
Just tap out, then.
I am ready.
I'm ready, too.
Because then I can say my other one,
and then the four after that.
Oh.
Yeah!
Still more movies than us.
Prelude to A Kiss of Death becomes Hercules of Eden.
Hercules.
Hercules of Eden.
Eden.
Eden.
Of course, there was Exit to Eden
starring Rosie O'Donnell
in Bondage Gear.
Donald Trump's Favorite movie
Although he said
She wasn't whipped enough
So
I don't know
I'm out
I'm tapping out
I'm sorry
I tried
I don't want to
Call you
I went hard
People
Love failure You ready You ready for another one Yeah Here we go Mark I want to close it. I win hard. People love failure.
Ready for another one, Troy?
Yeah, here we go, Mark.
Prelude to a kiss of death
becomes Hercules
of Edender's game.
Edender's game.
Edender's game.
I'm so glad that you won
anyway because I would not accept
Edender's game.
Edender's game.
I cannot accept that.
That completely fucking works.
I cannot do that at all.
Edender's game?
Hey guys.
Now that you said it right, I guess it would work.
Edender's game, yeah.
That would work, but it's too late. You won already. You won anyway.
Just rubbing it in.
That's like if you won a gold medal for boxing,
you punch the guy that won the silver.
I usually do that after a fight.
I let them put
them on the stretcher. They're about to put them in there.
I just walk off and go, boom!
You won again.
Remember this?
Let's play an old favorite, but with a new twist.
Let's play Reverse Malton, you guys.
So you know that I, we saw
Leonard Malton, he's doing an Earwolf podcast
and I said that Leonard Malton should have
on his podcast a thing called the
Doug Benson game.
Where you take game where you take any movie and try and make it higher.
Some sort of weed reference in a movie title and it's just him playing it with people.
Oh, you could do like, I Toe Tuckabees.
That would work, right?
I guess so.
Planet of the vapes
thank you very much
that's a better one
that's the one
walk off
walk off
walk off
you just did it
king bong
be terrorized
by giant graphics.
There's going to be more.
So many more.
It's turned into an episode of At Midnight.
All right, so this next game, Reverse Malton,
is like the Leonard Malton game that you've played in the past, but it's got a special new twist
where I'll give
the first player, which will be Mark,
he'll have three movies to choose from
and he'll pick a movie
and then I'll tell you guys how many people
are in that movie and then Mark
has to bid how many names
in any order, but they have to be
listed by Leonard Malton on my
Dead Leonard Malin app.
He's going to name how many people from that movie he thinks he can name.
And then it's going to come to you, Randy.
You have to bid more or challenge him.
And it just goes down the line like that.
Got it.
And the thing I always forget to tell the contestants who haven't played this game before
is that bluffing can be used effectively
here. Like saying out loud,
I don't know anyone who's in this movie
sort of puts you in a hole
a little bit. Don't show those
cards. Yeah, so it doesn't hurt
to just pretend that you might know
some people in the movie
chosen by Mark.
And Mark, I'll give you three
options. Are you ready?
Let's do this.
Okay.
Can you name,
which movie can you name more actors from between the following three films?
Okay.
Dead Ringers, Twins, or The Social Network?
Which one of those
can you name
the most actors from?
Right now?
Yes.
This is going to happen today.
Yes.
Just pick one of those three
that you think you're the most familiar with
Okay
Probably gonna go Social Network
Okay, Social Network
Let's see how many Leonard lists
Of course it's from 2010
We talked about it earlier
And he lists a lot of names
He lists
10, 15 names
15 people
Were worthy of Leonard's mention at the end
of the review. How many of those
can you name?
Marky Mark.
I can name. I believe I mentioned
one of them earlier.
Yeah, but you didn't say their real name, but I already
fucking know. Oh, I mentioned it. You're right.
I mentioned the person, but not the name. You're right. Okay, I can do and maybe I'm bluffing here. Yeah, maybe I
could probably do one
two I
Just like that you can count that's that
Wasn't sure about and then good to know unlike you, they're usually associated with reps.
Oh, right.
It's true.
Because we don't like to repeat stuff.
While you're thinking about it,
can I please, Comedy on State,
wonderful staff, tip everybody,
can I please get another
Tito's and Soda?
People in the audience are correcting
or telling me what I like to drink. What did you order? Tito's and Soda? People in the audience are correcting or telling me what I like to drink.
What did you order? Tito's and Soda?
Yeah.
You guys good with your waters?
I'm good with nothing. I can do four.
Competing. You do four?
He says four names.
So Randy, can you name more than four people
in the social network or do you want to
challenge Mark Wahlberg?
If he fails, you'll get a point.
But you can bid more if you want.
I know we're supposed to bluff here,
but four was what I
did.
And it's the fact, yeah,
I want...
Why am I out of breath?
You know, he might not be able to do it.
Yeah, I challenge you.
But I think he will.
I think he will, too.
All right, Mark. I can't do five.
Give us four names.
I'm not going to tell you if you're right or wrong on any of them until you've said four names.
It has to be the real name.
Okay, let's do it.
That's usually
how names work. The real name.
Jesse Eisenberg.
Justin Timberlake.
Who else is in
this?
Exactly.
You were going so strong.
Army Hammer.
That's the four. The top four so strong. Armie Hammer. That's four of the top four
billed people
in the movie.
What did he say? He said Jesse Eisenberg,
Justin Timberlake,
who else? Andrew Garfield.
Andrew Garfield. Was Jessica Alba
in that movie? And Armie Hammer played
the...
Brian Cox, was he in that?
Wait a second. He just said, was Jessica Alba in that movie? And you shoot back, Rashida Jones Brian Cox was he in there wait a second he just said
was Jessica Alba
in that movie
and you shoot back
Rashida Jones
like that's the character
Jessica Alba
would have played
cause Rooney Mara
was in it
Dakota Johnson
first time I remember
seeing Dakota Johnson
Joseph Mazzello
who was one of the kids
in Jurassic Park
the first one,
and appeared briefly in the second one.
Yeah, but so Mark Wahlberg
has a point. Nice job.
Nice. Clean house.
Getting killed.
Getting killed.
Getting crushed over here.
There's still plenty of opportunity.
You can quit whenever you want.
Still plenty of donuts to fire.
Yeah.
So this round we're going to start with Jason.
Okay.
And then Randy gets to go second.
So he might not even get down to Mark.
What are you guys having a fucking convention over there?
People are just chatting about the results or something.
I don't know.
Oh, they need some drinks.
They need drinks.
Yeah, okay.
Good luck getting
those drinks, you guys.
While you're getting
Doug's drink,
can I get a Jack and Coke
with two egg whites?
Never heard of that before.
Is it 5.30 already?
That is wild. That is wild.
That is amazing.
I did not know that.
Can I get a double mousse?
Wow, that is weird.
They call that a new fashion.
Sorry, I threw some cheese curds on you. Yes.
The old fashioned is a very popular drink in this club.
You do it right, whole state, bro.
Yeah.
You don't fuck around, either.
You can get a real goddamn brandy old-fashioned in this fucking state.
Give me that and a Harvey Wallbanger, and my grandma and I are set for fucking days.
Give me that and a Harvey Wallbanger and my grandma and I are set for fucking
sex.
What I love about the old fashioned
is it's just a brand new recipe.
Terrible. Sorry.
I got a worse one.
Here in this state, you can't even get
an old fashioned Planned Parenthood.
Can't get anything there.
That's right.
You can get a good plan
You can get a second chance
You can get a plan to go to another state
Oh thank you so much
Do you work here or just
You just whipped it up at your seat
You just made a drink
Alright Jason gets a pick
between three movies.
Would you like...
Do you know more actors from Octopussy?
Snatch?
Or Hot Fuzz?
I mean... Which one of those?
Octopussy is a documentary about the octomom, right?
Yeah, it is.
14 kids.
I love that she had six kids already.
And was like, I need eight more.
I need some more.
Six isn't enough.
Even going for one more is ridiculous.
After six.
I mean, jeez.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Are you familiar with those three films?
Cheezus.
Yeah.
I'm going to say Hot Fuzz.
Okay.
Hot Fuzz.
In 2007 2007 directed by
of course
a great friend
of the show
Simon Pegg
yeah
and uh
no
and um
that was one
that was one
that was not
I know
I know
I didn't know
it's an interesting
strategy
uh
get the easy one
out of the way
16 names
a lot of names
most of them British if not every goddamn one of them uh Get the easy one out of the way. 16 names. A lot of names.
Most of them British.
If not every goddamn one of them.
Yeah, 16 names.
How many of those do you think you could name?
I mean, I know... Including the one that's already on the table.
I know that I can do two.
That's...
Sometimes that's a smart opening.
I didn't know any of the other
I can do two
Yeah let's
Let's see if Randy can
I can do three
He says he can name three
Mark Wahlberg
Do you know
The movie Hot Fuzz Mark?
Oh yeah
It's a great fucking movie
Guns and Cops
I'm in
Name that shit, dude.
All right, so...
All you gotta do, Randy...
All right, like I said before, assholes.
Simon Pegg.
Nick Frost.
Martin Freeman?
Yes!
Yes.
And Remington Steele.
No, no, he's actually in World's End.
He's in World's End, yeah.
Timothy Dalton was in Hot Fuzz.
That's fun that the villains from two of the movies
are played by former Bond guys.
And they're both good at it.
All right, so that means Randy gets a point.
Yay!
Didn't think that was happening.
An exciting matchup we got going here.
But now we're going to...
Who challenged him to name it?
Mark did.
Mark did.
Okay, so that means we're going to start
with Jason.
He gets to pick again.
And then we'll go to Mark.
Okay.
And you get to pick between these three movies, Jason.
Yes.
Do you know more actors from JFK, Nixon, or Lincoln?
Which one of those movies, which all have massive casts,
do you think you can pull more names from?
I mean... Lincoln? Nixon?
By the way, all three of them should have been shot.
I'm joking, I'm joking.
I'm sorry.
One out of the three of them should have been shot.
One out of the three of them.
One out of the three of them should have been shot. This out of the three of them. This category is... One out of the three of them should have been shot.
This category is they shot the wrong one.
Yeah, exactly.
And that person was Lincoln.
So, uh...
Jesus.
Come on, Jay!
I mean... Hey, Doc. Yes, Jay. I mean...
Hey, Doc.
Yes, sir.
You want to do some lines?
All right, so we'll give...
Well, you have an extra chance to think
while Mark Wahlberg loves to play this game,
even though I don't want to play it right now.
I'd rather be in the Fox River.
Is this...
What?
That wasn't the line?
No, I got that dare to do.
You ready?
Yeah.
What could feel good?
Is this just for you guys for now?
Or can I jump in?
Yeah, yeah, let's start it with us,
and then the audience can jump in
if we can't think of it.
Possibly the hardest one I've ever done.
It's perfect time.
Oh, no.
My big brother's my little brother.
Ronald Reagan's the president.
My big brother's my little brother.
Ronald Reagan's the president.
Back to the Future?
My big brother is my little brother.
Ronald Reagan's the president.
Oh, Back to the Future 2?
My big brother is my little brother. Ronald Reagan's The president Oh Back to the Future 2 My big brother
Is my little brother
Is it Back to the Future 3
Ronald Reagan's
The president
The actor
You shut your fucking mouth
My big brother
Is my little brother And Ronald Reagan's Is it Hot Sub Time Machine It's not My big brother
is my little brother.
Is it Hot Tub Time Machine?
It's not.
Hold on.
Do not say a word.
Raise your hand
if you know what it is.
You sons of bitches.
I'll give you one night.
Ready?
Here's another one.
Okay, no yelling out.
It's another line.
Same movie.
Okay.
I just went into a ditch.
I came out.
It was eight years later.
I went into a ditch. I came out. It was eight years later. I went into a ditch.
I came out.
It was eight years later.
I went into a ditch and I come out.
Yeah, we got it.
We got it.
Is that Lincoln?
You want to open it up?
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I went into a ditch.
I come out.
It's eight years later.
Sorry.
Can you do the line one more time?
What happened to you?
I went into a ditch.
I came out.
It's eight years later.
Does anyone raise your hand? I think someone a ditch. I came out. It's eight years later. Does anyone,
raise your hand if anyone...
I think someone in the audience
just said regarding Henry.
Hold on.
We got one dude.
All right.
Now wait,
if you don't know this fucking movie,
two things.
Start working out.
Secondly,
he's big.
He's pretty big.
Let's go see this movie.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
If this guy,
where's the guy who raised his hand?
There's right here. All right. If you know, if you have the correct answer, I'm going to hit you with this donut. If this guy Where's the guy who raised his hand?
Right here If you have the correct answer
I'm going to hit you with this donut
He doesn't know it
Oh he doesn't know it
I think he's been in a ditch for 8 years
I totally recognize the Reagan line
But I just don't know what it's from
Who knows?
Somebody really fucking knows
Like hardcore
Okay ready? What is it? I know the wagon line, but I just don't know what it's from. Who knows? Somebody really fucking knows. It's tough when you're up here. Like hardcore. That guy says he knows.
Okay, ready?
What is it?
Is it Flight of the Navigator?
It is Flight of the fucking Navigator.
Flight of the Navigator.
Oh, great play.
Nice catch.
Great catch.
Good fucking man.
Hand on icing.
Flight of the fucking Navigator.
A kid rides around in a Nerf football for a while, it's fucking great.
Disappointed. I love that show on HBO,
Flight of the Navigators.
Those two musicians from Australia
who hated New Zealand.
I guess I gotta go with Lincoln.
Jason, you had enough time to build
another fucking title. I know.
And I was trying
to think of what ends with E.
All right.
You could have made a White House out of Lincoln Logs.
I know.
And he lists.
I spoke too soon.
It's got a huge cast, but Leonard only lists seven people.
That's right.
There's like 50 character actor dudes in all the scenes in the place where they voted on stuff.
What movie did we go on? Lincoln.
Lincoln. So, out of
seven, how many do you think
you can name? Three.
He's going three.
To me? Yeah, you challenged
last time. Oh, he says name?
Oh, shit.
Half bluffing. I know Sally Field and I know Tommy Lee Jones
and now...
Are you kidding me?
For some reason...
Give him a fucking...
Shut your fucking mouth.
No, no, here it is.
Because you said Jeremy Irons,
I...
You now have an Irons curtain in front of your brain.
He's making me think that Jeremy
Irons was in Gangs of New York. It makes
me think that Jeremy Irons was in There Will Be Blood.
It makes me think that
Jeremy Irons is that
fucking guy.
It makes you think that Jeremy
Irons is Ralph Fiennes.
That's how much this is.
Stop naming people.
All right, so to recap, you've got Sally Field,
Tommy Lee Jones, and...
For the record, I knew four, but I wanted to see this one.
I didn't even see the movie, but I...
Dude, read a fucking history book.
He's in that, too.
Oh.
So the history book with Liz Two Plays Lincoln.
Yeah, isn't IMDb a history book?
Yeah.
Do you have a third name for us?
Come on.
Come on.
Why is this block?
It's very...
I mean...
It's the Irons block.
It's the Irons block. It's the irons block.
A block by Jeremy Irons.
I can't wait to see your Twitter feed. Can I just yell?
I know.
Let's just switch it to name three people from The Lion King.
I can do The Lion King.
That I can do.
James Earl Jones.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Don't act like I don't know.
I'm not new.
Whoopi Goldberg and Cheech Marin.
Which, yeah.
Bill Cosby.
Oh, he slept through that.
Yeah.
Fuck that dude.
We can say whatever we want about that piece of shit.
Come on, animals need to hibernate.
It was a hibernation joke, you guys.
Yeah, I guess.
Why am I, I'm blanked.
I'm sorry.
I'm terrible. I'm sorry I'm terrible
Please do me a favor
No it's hilarious
When it's so obvious
And you can't pick it up
No no no
Yeah there is a clear block
I know who it is
There's just a clear
There's someone with his hands
On his head like
I'm sorry
Here's the deal
They run the same Twitter account
So Randy's gonna have to see
What is given to Jason
In two days when this drops
I just want you to retweet
Every fucking fucking
tweet you get. No, we'll get hated.
I'm sorry. You'll get love.
I'm so sorry. I don't know
what to say.
Is it Jeremy?
He's done, right, Doug?
He's done? Can I say my two?
Sure.
Obviously, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
And the second greatest
actor of our time,
Daniel Day-Fuckin-Lewis.
I knew it.
What can I say?
There's nothing to say.
He just drank your milkshakes.
I fucking drink it up.
I drink it up.
That's right.
You know what, too?
If anybody gives you fucking hate,
say to them,
did you not find it funny?
Yeah.
You're welcome.
My goal is to make it funny,
not be good at the game.
People are laughing at you right now.
That's right.
As a comedian,
that's all you can answer.
That's all that matters.
But that means that Lauren Survivor,
who Mark was playing for, wins all the prizes.
You know it.
Get that titty out.
She is a survivor.
Where is she?
Get that dude's boob out next to you.
Oh, yes.
Come get this stuff, Lauren.
Oh, there you are.
Hi, Lauren.
Hi, Lauren.
What a surprise.
The guy who's on the show every month wins.
There's a reason for it.
These two people have been on for a year.
Hey, congratulations.
He's gotten pretty good at it.
Do you want your name tag back?
Oh, sure.
Sure, why not?
Give her Lauren's survivor name tag back.
Do you want a donut?
Oh, yeah, you can have a donut, too, if you want.
If you need it signed, Donnie will do that.
He's parking cars.
Yeah, he's outside.
Nice job, Lauren.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Not that I would have won.
I did win one round.
Do you guys want to play one more round for fun?
Sure.
It's the redemption round.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Chance for the
Sklars to redeem themselves.
And we'll start with
That's not
going to happen. We're going to start. Okay.
Maybe you won't get to play at all. We'll start with
Randy and then go to Mark. Sure.
And Randy gets to pick.
Which one of these do you know the most actors from?
The Breakfast Club? Ferris Bueller's Day Off, or...
Why couldn't I have gotten that?
That's what happens.
You can't know what you're going to get.
Home Alone.
Ooh.
Yeah, Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, or Home Alone.
Which one?
Well, no, I mean, it doesn't matter.
Like, all of those are movies that you know more actors from,
so it's just the number.
It's like, all right.
It just goes up. Yeah, but pick the one you think you know more actors from, so it's just the number. It's like, all right. It just goes up.
Yeah, but pick the one you think you know the most from.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Breakfast Club or Home Alone.
I mean, yeah.
They're all very good.
An audience member caught on that it's all John Hughes films.
I think Breakfast Club, The Breakfast Club.
That's what you want to go with? Yeah, The Breakfast Club. That's what you want to go with?
Yeah, the Breakfast Club.
Okay.
Thank you.
Polite applause.
Yeah.
I just heard a story.
Molly, did you guys hear on NPR,
Molly Ringwald watched the Breakfast Club
with her daughter?
Are you doing this again?
Saying the name of someone
that's in it right before?
Whatever.
All right.
Sorry, I'm terrible at this.
This game is for fun.
Six names.
Six names.
There are only six names
on the list?
Only six.
Yeah, so somebody
got left out.
Don't yell out, you guys.
Everybody zip it.
Even though there's
no prizes on the line,
we still like to keep it cool.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
How many of the six do you think you can name?
Four.
That's a reasonable bid.
That's reasonable.
Mark?
You can't even five?
Let's go six.
Let's do it.
All right, so that leaves Jason with no choice but to
challenge him.
Can't go more than the six that are listed.
I mean, we do know,
I do know who the seventh person was,
but we'll see if Mark
can pull this off. Alright, let's see.
Mark, name those people.
Anthony Michael Hall, Amelia Westhoff,
Molly Ringwald,
Ally Sheedy,
Judd Hirsch.
Judd Hirsch?
Oh!
Oh, wait a minute.
Judge Hirsch.
Judge Joe Brown.
Judge Judy.
Judge Ryan Holderfield.
What the fuck does that dude's name?
What's the dude?
His last name is Lisa.
I thought you had this down.
Oh, shit.
You know what?
I didn't get here by wondering if I could go for it.
It's true. Hey, you're a South Boston kid from Dorchester. It's true
Hey you're a South Bosty kid
From Doris Chester
It's never gonna work out
Yeah go fuck yourself
I don't know
Once I said Molly
I just started thinking
About having sex with her again
Again
Again
Take it
Take it Jay
Redeem that show
So all the people you said
Yeah
Anthony Michael Hall, Emilio Estevez, Ally Sheedy
Molly Ringwald
Judd
Judge
Judd Nelson
Judd Nelson
Judd Nelson
But who is the sixth name?
You know where that came? From the hip, bitches.
From the hip.
From the hip.
Boing.
The sixth one is the vice principal, Beaks, from Trading Places.
Which is what I would have called him.
That's what I would call him to his fucking face.
So you're saying for the record
What's up Beaks
That you don't think it's John Capellos
Who played the janitor
Oh it's not John Capellos
I know that
Great turn in the wire am I right
Yeah yeah
Great actor
I think it's the Greek
Jeremy Irons
I want to see Jeremy Irons
Is it Daniel Day-Lewis I think it's the Greek. Jeremy Irons is the right audience suggestion.
It's not Daniel Day-Lewis.
Although he could have played him really well.
Now I have a Daniel Day-Lewis block.
There's so many people in this audience that know it's not Amy Adams.
Great guess, though.
I gotta wrap this up,
so I'm just gonna say it. It's Vernon... No. Paul Gleason.
The late Paul Gleason.
Jackie Gleason's
son. Yeah.
So I wouldn't say it to his face, because he's dead.
But, you know, if he were alive...
We'd say it to his headstone. That's right. If these guys build a time machine, I'll go back and say it to his face because he's dead. But, you know, if he were alive, we'd say it to his headstone.
If these guys build a time
machine, I'll go back and say it to his face.
Dig him up. I've done it.
Talk to you, asshole.
Talk to you, Beaks.
Time to have a face-to-face.
Sklarbros, listen to them on
Sklarbro Country and Sklarbro
County on iTunes.
Come see their
late show tonight.
There's 20 seats left
here at Comedy on State,
the world's greatest
comedy club
under a bank.
Amazing.
And what about
anything else
you guys want to plug?
When does this come out?
Do we know?
This day or two,
hopefully.
Okay.
We're on the,
our friend show
Playing House on USA.
That is one of our favorites.
Tuesday. Lennon Parham, Jessica
St. Clair. Have they ever done this show? They have.
Lennon's good
at the games, but Jessica's a complete mess.
Jessica doesn't care. She's like me.
They are so great
and the show, the episode is really fun.
So that comes on this Tuesday night.
So very excited about that.
Playing House USA.
Characters welcome.
Yes.
Psych.
Mark, what do you got coming up, buddy?
There's going to be another fucking Wahlberg solution.
You're welcome.
That date will be released soon.
I'm also going to be in Chicago doing a show at North Bar
on September 21st, 8 o'clock.
Go fucking see that show live
at North Bar to check those out and get tickets.
And I want to say one thing really fucking quick.
A couple years ago, I was crushing
life with, you know, fucking
Max Payne and The Truth About
Charlie and doing
great movies. Truth About Cats and Dogs.
You were great in Truth About Cats and Dogs.
And the thing is, these two fucking dudes
right here helped bring me into this
fucking comedy world.
And then this fucking dude on the end
took it with them and they all fucking ran with it.
So I want to fucking hear it for these dudes right here.
Thank you.
And you know what else I'd like to say
to them? You know what else I'd like to
say to them?
You're welcome.
There he goes.
Serious mic drop.
One more time for Mark Wahlberg, Randy Sklar, and Jason Sklar.
Thank you. All right, you're still running the recording
because the show's not actually over.
Gotta do the shitheads.
And then Scott Walker did not turn up on this one.
This one, he actually wrote it out for me phonetically,
but I think it's still wrong.
But I'm gonna say it anyway.
Jose
Moreno is a shithead.
But it's Jose, isn't it?
It's Jose?
Okay.
If you say so.
Jose Moreno?
I don't know.
Brian Orton is a shithead?
You know what?
I think you were right when you ran the theme song too early.
Thank you for coming, everybody!
Thank you for coming!
Once again, today's episode was brought to you in part by DraftKings.com.
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Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.