Doug Loves Movies - Jay Chandrasekhar, Ian Karmel and Josh Brown guest

Episode Date: April 26, 2017

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in Hollywood, Doug welcomes Jay Chandrasekhar, Ian Karmel and Josh Brown to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, in the dedication to Kimmy Jones of the Nashville episode of this show, I called her blog the wrong name. It's thatgirlinthewheelchair.com. Check it out if you'd like, and once again, rest in peace, Kimmy. Today's episode is brought to you in part by Silicon Valley. From executive producers Mike Judge and Alec Berg, the Emmy-nominated comedy Silicon Valley returns for its fourth season this Sunday

at 10 p.m. on HBO. Silicon Valley has been lauded as one of the top comedy series on television by major publications like Entertainment Weekly, Slate, Variety, and by people like TJ Miller. And this season changes in the air as the Pied Piper guys pursue their video chat app, Piper Chat. Join them as they fumble along the road to success in an attempt to leave their mark.

This Sunday and every Sunday, I watched the first episode last night and enjoyed it a great deal. So catch that on demand, HBO Go, and then watch every Sunday at 10 p.m. only on HBO. Candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see The Doug of movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Oh, shit. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Love, Love, Movies!

Even when I come at you fast like that, you guys are so good. You're professionals. This is Los Angeles. Everyone here is in show business. Applaud if you here is in show business. Applaud if you're not in show business. I take it back. But you want to be, right?

All right. We're coming to you once again from the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles. It's Monday, April 24th, 2017. Name tags? This gentleman bought some comic books,

so that's cool. Wait, what's this airplane one? Air-in-plane. Nice. Ryan's Song. You know, of course, that that was a TV movie. I cheated.

You're a cheater. But you're sitting right next to Barbara Ella. And Barbarella, of course, was a feature film. Starring... I didn't expect you to know that. How funny would that be? Somebody made a Barbarella name tag and they didn't expect you to know that how funny would that be if somebody made a Barbarella name tag and they didn't know this dude's got booze hanging off of his

and what does it say Batman bat what batmax and it's the old Batman movie with Adam West right and then why is there booze attached to it? You want to get picked?

All right. I don't know how boozy they are back there, the guests. But what is Canadian Billy instead of Canadian bacon? Yeah. You mean what? Henri. Henri? Your name? Henri? Your name is Henri?

H-E-N-R-I? O-N-R-E-Y. Henri. Is your fucking name. Did you grow up to be an Henri individual? But you put that on a bag? Why? It's got a prize inside. It's got a prize? What is it?

It's a t-shirt. A t-shirt? How will my guests decide to pick your name tag based on it being a bag with a t-shirt in it? It's a cool shirt. All right, well, hopefully they'll figure that out. Aaron head instead of eraser head. I like that.

Have I seen this Red Dawn thing before? Yeah. Okay. I thought so. Read Dawn. Well, good job, everybody. Thanks for... Thanks for stepping up.

Tomorrow night, who's got plans tomorrow night? Douglas Movies is back over at UCB Franklin at 9.30, and not unlike tonight, tomorrow night I have some pretty exciting guests. I said not unlike, meaning that tonight's guests are also exciting. If you're going to force me to admit it,

tonight's guests are more exciting. But the value I place on excitement is, you know how that goes. Like, one person's terrible show is another person's exciting show. And tomorrow night, Owner and Ann are back. See?

There's a very mixed reaction to that. Some people are like, I'd love to give them another chance. And other people are like, fuck them! Yeah. Saturday, Douglas Movies is back at the Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas

and I'm doing shows at Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois May 4th 5th and 6th. Lexington, Kentucky on Sunday May 7th. Comedy Works in Denver May 14th for my annual Mother's Day show. Slap a name tag on your mom and bring her down, Denver.

All of my dates and deets are at DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com! The prize bag... Oh, it's a beauty. It's just a shitty laundry bag, but the stuff that's in it... We got a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt.

We got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. We got a promotional tool CD. A thing that an airline gave me because I was in first class. You know, it's like a little toothbrush and

little toothpastes. I should have taken the little toothpastes out of there. I toothbrush and little toothpastes. I should have taken the little toothpaste out of there. I always need little toothpastes. From our friends at Peacemaker, a Christmas-y bong that you can cherish until December and then go nuts on. Oh, I was just in Nashville

and they try to make you eat these everywhere you go. A goo goo cluster. Yeah. I'm like, no, no. Cluster. Some shit from a sticker from our friends at Mary Jane. A button that says, this is a plug for these guys,

The Flannel Cakes Podcast, whatever that is. Oh, and a grinder, a nice little wooden grinder and a cute little bag that's also from Mary Jane. Plus all the stuff, oh, and a guitar pick.

What does this guitar pick say on it? Oh, Goo Goo the stuff. Oh, and a guitar pick. What does this guitar pick say on it? Oh, Goo Goo Cluster. All of this is going to be won by somebody in addition to the stuff brought by my guests. Please give a big, warm welcome to Ian Carmel, Josh Brown, and Jay Chandandra Sekhar Hey fellas Hot night, hot crowd, hot guests, hot crickets. Hot mic.

Oh, you think my mic's too hot? Okay. Slaving over a hot mic. Oh, my God. I worked so hard over a hot mic. Can you imagine if, like, you were doing comedy and the microphone was hot? It was literally hot.

Like, it was physically hot. Like, oh, shit, the mic's too hot. We all get leather Eddie Murphy-esque oven mitts to do stand-up in. Eddie Murphy-esque? Yeah, like a flashy red leather. He did have some crazy leather outfits. He did.

He'd stand there in a leather outfit and accuse people of being faggots. Yeah. He would. Like, he'd stand there in a leather outfit and accuse people of being faggots. Yeah. Like, he would drop so many F-word, F-word, that F-word,

but also be wearing the fucking craziest outfit. Right, he was parading up there in, like, a 1970s superhero outfit, basically. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm tired of faggots. What? What? Super raw. I'm tired of faggots. What? I saw Delirious when I was 14. My dad drove me to the Chicago Theater and we had a seat in the very back row of the Chicago Theater.

It was amazing. But he did have a lot of people. You saw it live? Live. Oh my gosh. That's where Eddie Murphy just walks out and stands in front of the screen and does all the jokes. It's weird.

Like, I guess Kevin Hart just did one, but stand-up comedy movies, that's just not a thing anymore. No, it was live. It was live. What? He was there. Oh, but it was on the Delirious Tour? The Delirious Tour at the Chicago Theater.

But then eventually it became the movie Delirious. Well, not for me. I was there, so I saw it live. And then I saw the movie. Okay, fine. I saw the movie. But then where'd they shoot the movie at? Not in Chicago.

No. But that's not really the point of the story. I was trying to say... I saw it live. The point of the story is you saw live leather. Yeah. Back when he was getting away with it. I felt it was a topical comment. I mean, we getting away with it. I felt it was

a topical comment. I mean, we were talking about it. But I mean, you know, clearly not. You're right. Let's meet my guests

individually. Starting with the newbie tonight. It's first time guest Ian Carmel, everybody. Thank you. Thanks. Comedian, podcaster.

What's your podcast called? It's called All Fantasy Everything. And what happens on there? We take regular, we take like non-sports things and fantasy draft them. So we'll have like a sandwich fantasy draft and then somebody takes the Reuben first. Or we'll do like we fantasy drafted

Taco Bell's menu. Who got the chalupa? God, I don't remember who got the chalupa. I think David Borey may have gotten the chalupa but I'll tell you, friend of your podcast and friend of mine, Sean Jordan Who's here tonight hanging out. Who's here in the building tonight, took a bean

burrito first. That was his choice for Taco Bell. Bean burrito. He got the first overall pick in the entire draft and sat there in front of other human beings who've all lived lives up until that point and took a bean burrito. I think with no onions.

You gotta take something that's got a Taco Bell name on it. Like something that they made up. Right, exactly. They didn't come up with bean burrito. Put them in the lab, get a quesarito. There's the first pick. Right?

Yeah. Anyway, we have fun over there. It sounds like you should also do my food podcast, Dining with Doug and Karen. I would love, I know Karen. We worked together at the Late Late Show with James Corden briefly. What happened?

She was, she decided to pursue other opportunities. But you're still there at the show? Yeah. All right. Yeah.

It doesn't, you're not happy about it? No, I love it. It's great. Awesome. Yeah, yeah, it's fun. It's fun. All right,

we'll get you guys together and you can really, you can really talk all the behind the scenes dirt. We'll dish and eat dish. Yeah. Why she left, why you're still there, I'm dying to know. The politics.

I want to know all of it. Also joining us today, for his second time I think on the show. Yep. For adding them up. It's Josh Brown, everybody. Hello, Doug. Hello, Doug. Hello. Now, this is unprecedented in the world of this show

and maybe podcasting in general. You were on the first time in Boston at the Wilbur Theater. That's correct. Because you had pledged a certain amount of money to an auction on Jimmy Pardo's podcast-a-thon. That was me. And you were the winner of the auction and that meant you got to have a seat

on an episode of Douglas Movies and you live in the Boston area, so that's where you did it. Right. Yeah. We do an auction again this year on podcast-a-thon. Who's the winner again? Some rich son of a bitch that just refuses to give someone else a chance

named Josh Brown. And this time you're like, I'll be out in L.A. I'm going to do it out in L.A., motherfucker. Is that really true? To which I said yes. Yeah. That's right, Jay. You've worked hard.

Jay's worked hard his whole life making comedies, making classic comedy films to get on Doug Lowe's movies. This guy just whips out his checkbook, and this is his second appearance. Wow. I had a lot of fun. And a lot of funds. Yeah.

Oh! With a D! Nobody adds a D better than you. That's me. That's what I do. That's how I get here. You always bring a D to the situation. That's how I get here.

D, they call me D plus. Because of my weight. So, thanks for doing that, Josh. Giving a lot more money to the great charity Smile Train. No, it's my pleasure. It was actually less than last time, so. Oh, the price is coming down.

The podcast might have been shorter this time, was it? I don't remember. I'm trying to make an excuse for why the auction made less money. Did you kind of expect to not win? I expected not to win. Yeah.

I like being involved, and then all of a sudden I won. All right. Do you pay your way onto other podcasts as well? No, so far just this one. So far just this one. This is the one. Yeah. And how long are you out in L.A. for?

This is actually my last night. We were in Vegas from Monday to Friday, and then L.A. since Friday This is actually my last night. We've been, we were in Vegas from Monday to Friday and then L.A. since Friday. Okay. Celebrating something specific or just hanging out? No, just like a friend trip. There was nine of us out here at one point. Nine of you?

Yeah. You got some people here tonight? Some people here in the back. All right. That's where I asked you to put them. We'll need your support group right in the front row. Did any of your friends bring name tags? I don't think so, no.

You didn't tell them about it? I thought they listened. All right. And we'll find out, I assume, a lot more about your profession and your business. That is correct. When we get into the prize bag. Don't be fooled by the Gelson bag. Because you bring a lot of merch with your own business name on it,

if I recall correctly. Not so free advertising. And let's say hello to, this is probably your maybe third or fourth time on the show. Yeah, I'd say that's right. Jay Shander Sagar, everybody! Are you looking up what I've done i wrote down a question i wrote down a uh not a question a statement oh good he wrote a book that's it what do you have to say to those charges to that uh well i did write a book, and it's called Mustache Shenanigans.

And I know backstage you asked me about whether you were in the book. Yeah, I didn't know if you mentioned me or not. Yeah, I told the story about the time that you invited me to be on Doug Loves Movies, and then when I got there, you told me, oh, actually, this is Getting Doug with High. I think I said the right name from the jump.

I think you could... I see, you blame it on me? Yeah. But in the book, it's all my fault. I'll have to call the publisher. Yeah, why did the publisher call me to fact-check this story? But yeah, you were surprised

that it was Getting Doug with High, but you were a super trooper, and you got high. You got high anyway. It was so last minute. I was in the bathroom and I came out of the bathroom and one of your guys is like, you want to sign this release?

They're like, you don't mind getting high on camera, right? I'm like, what's that? They're like, we're about to go on right now. You got to really sign this. I'm like, okay, here we go. I revealed secrets in that podcast. Oh, you said things you shouldn't have? No, just things I'd never said before.

Oh, okay. They never talked about doing shows in D.A.R.E., you know? In drug abuse resistance education. That's what D.A.R.E. stands for? Yeah, yeah. I never knew when it says D.A. when it says dare to keep your kids off drugs, I was like, why is that phrased that way? Like, why do you have to dare to do it?

Good luck. Take that chance of keeping your kids off drugs. It doesn't make, you're right, that doesn't make any sense outside of the context of the acronym. Yeah, truth or dare? I'll do dare. Keep your kids off drugs. Shit, that's a long-form dare.

I'll take truth. So Jay's book is available again. We should call the name out again. Mustache Shenanigans. Mustache Shenanigans. And it's available now in stores. Yeah, okay, I'll show it. That sell books. And you brought available now in stores. Yeah, okay, I'll show it.

That sell books. And you brought a copy to give away tonight. Did you sign it? Did you write something on it? I signed it, but I'd like to personalize it for whoever won it. You need a Sharpie? Oh, that's a joint. Do you need a... Don't.

Isn't someone specific going to win it and then I don't do it then? Oh, yeah, that's a good idea Whoever wins you're gonna put their name in it? Yeah I thought that might be fun Alright Or you could just write it right now

just write whoever fucking wins tonight Right Congratulations That'll be special Yeah Still personal But yeah

pass that down here so I can put it in the back Oh I guess I guess you should keep it, maybe. We'll keep it around. We'll keep it around. I'll try to remember that you have it.

I always like, when somebody brings a book, I always like to just open it up and read a sentence. So I was sucking this dude off. That's out of context. That's out of context. Wow. That's out of context. This is a real page turner.

This is a real pages stuck together. I jerk off about my own book. Do you talk at all about the filming of the sequence in the, what's the movie called? The Baby Makers? You know. That sperm sequence? There's a really, really

disgusting sperm sequence in that movie. Yeah. So you're talking about the movie's about a couple that's trying to have a baby. It's Paul Schneider and Olivia Munn. Paul Schneider basically he's infertile because he's suffered testicular trauma.

But in the past, he used to be a sperm donor before that happened. And so then they're trying to have a baby. They can't have a baby. So they're like, hey, let's go to the sperm bank where I donated that sperm. Let's go get that sperm. But then they only have one batch left

and they've already promised it to another couple. So he and some friends put together a team and they stage a sperm bank heist. And then there's a scene where they end up kind of, you know, getting involved in a large amount of sperm. And there's some slipping and sliding. Yeah, and didn't they...

Did you see Ted 2? Yeah, they did. They totally ripped that scene off. Yeah, they did. They totally ripped it off. They did. But in my defense... I mean, I enjoy seeing Mark Wahlberg flailing around in sperm. No, I'm not sure. But still, it was weird. Did you ever think about calling the movie

Oceans Have Come 11? I could still do that. I could maybe go back and get the studio to re-release it. It's never too late to change the title, yeah. If you don't, I could use it. Yeah, you want to re-release it under that title? Yeah, yeah. Okay, good.

Just to get this stuff out of your hands, because you're just holding a stack of things. I feel bad about it. What do you have for the prize bag, Ian? I brought some blueberry candy that is from Japan. That was just sort of lying around there. And then two stickers from the skateboarding magazine, Low Card. Yep.

One sticker. Just one sticker. Just the one sticker. And then I brought a couple comedy albums. I brought my debut comedy album, 9.2 on Pitchfork. And then, do you guys know Voodoo Donuts? It's a donut place from Portland. We did a split, like seven inch,

where they're just jokes about donuts. So I'm on one half, and on the other is the very funny comedian Nathan Brannon. And there that is right now. And I brought just some other extras of my 9.2 on Pitchfork. If anybody wants it, we can just throw it out to anybody. Oh, you brought a bunch of the same thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just brought extras. Yeah. There it is. Everybody caught every one because I am a great thrower. And this Voodoo Donut thing, it says donut on it. I'm going to

throw it as well. Yeah. No, it's going in the bag. It's officially in the bag. And now, Josh Brown, with his... I can't believe you traveled with all this stuff. Well, it really wasn't

as much stuff as last time, but... You brought a lot of stuff in Boston. Yeah. Well, it really wasn't as much stuff as last time. You brought a lot of stuff in Boston. Yeah. Well, it was easier. It was right across the street. Yeah. But so we upped the merch a little bit this year. Okay.

We've got a nice hooded sweatshirt that says MET because we're Metropolitan Pipe, so Met Pipe. But we allegedly stole the MIT logo because we're right next to MIT. Uh-huh. So my cousin was actually wearing one of those to the dentist. And the dentist was saying, oh, you know what? I'm so proud of you. It takes so much hard work right next to MIT. So my cousin was actually wearing one of those to the dentist. And the dentist was saying,

oh, you know what? I'm so proud of you. It takes so much hard work to get into MIT. I can't believe you did that. And he was like, yeah, all right. Met pipe, but okay. So we got that. We got a nice sweatshirt. That's a nice item. Thank you. The Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Yeah, yeah. The Institute. And then we've also got a nice Under Armour golf shirt that may or may not be a women's, but it was the one that I had, so anybody who was an extra large... Well, that's the thing about the prize bag is we don't get too specific on the sizes. You just have...

You're just on your own. And I have a Gelson's bag. I had to visit your local grocery store. That whole bag only had these two things in it? It's a big sweatshirt. Holy shit. All right, so did you get any business off of promoting your pipe company the last time?

No, but I had a few customers call and say, was that fucking you on Duck Loves Movies? Oh, yeah, it was me. And they're like, how the fuck did you do that? And they also think their prices are too high now. If I'm doing this. Oh, really? Well, things are going all right.

Yeah, things are going pretty great if you're on Douglas movies. That's true. That's how I feel. That is an excellent point. They probably thought it was a different kind of pipe because it's Doug Benson's show. They're calling in. It was a different kind of pipe because it's Doug Benson's show. They're calling in...

Oh, it's the other kind of pipe? Right? Laying pipe. Oh, laying pipe. Okay. We mostly sell toilets. That's what we got. Is this a bit or are we really...

No, I legitimately sell toilets. Okay, okay we got. Is this a bit or are we really legitimately sell toilets? Okay. Okay. Okay. Got it. Yeah, Jay, this dude really is a two-time auction winner,

fan of the show, and he promotes his toilets when he comes on here. Everybody poops. That's the book. Everybody knows it, right? But this is some

lovely clothing for a toilet guy. You know what I mean? And the company is M-E-I-T? No, no, M-E-T. Metropolitan Pipe. Well, what's the E for? Etropolitan?

So we shorten it to Met Pipe. Oh, got it. It's Metropolitan, Etropolitan, tetrapolitan type. Alright, so all of that. I'm really extra fascinated by oh, I have this blueberry candy that is so, like it's just blueberry candy. It says blueberry on it.

Brought it for me back from Japan and I just never got around to eating it. You know. I mean, would you eat it if, I mean... I don't trust Japanese candy. I don't know. I think I would, given the right circumstances. It's just I never did for some reason.

They put fish in their candy over there, don't they? Is that true? It's mostly fish-flavored candy. Could be. Yeah. Oh, they're gum sticks. Oh, it's gum is what it is. Yeah, it's nine gum sticks.

So, yeah. I was going to make you eat a piece right now, but it's fucking gum. I don't need you chewing gum the whole show. Just smacking the whole time? The last time that happened, I got a lot of complaints. The Triscuits are cool, though, right?

What? I brought Triscuits. Oh, yeah. If you just brought stuff to snack on, that's cool. I have like loose Triscuits in my pants. I mean, I've met a lot of Triscuits in my day and most of them are loose, right? Whoa! Most of them will let you put them right in their mouth.

Yeah. Your mouth. Your mouth. Yeah. Somebody's mouth. But you gotta dip them first, too, you know? In what? I don't, like a, like a, like, I don't know,

like a dip, like a cheese sauce or a ranch. Yeah, cheese sauce. Like a spread. I like to put, like, a piece of cheese, a piece of meat on a Triscuit. Yeah. Or, like, just one little pimento, like they do on the box. They're always, like, put a pimento on it.

I've never seen one of those in my life. There's no way I'm gonna do that yeah not gonna happen I have a question I ask all my guests before we get to the

I don't it sounded like the cutest little train just drove by what is that I'm sure the listeners couldn't hear that at all but there's just a weird

that wasn't the first time. Can you stop making that noise? It's like Stuart Little is conducting a little trance. Doot, doot! Most of the crowd does not like that noise. Ha, ha, ha, ha! All right. Jay, what was the last movie you saw?

I know you're busy promoting your new book. You've got Super Troopers 2 is happening. Yeah. People are excited. The last movie I saw... Oh, Get Out. And I saw... Oh, Get Out. And I saw... I'm not going to do that joke again this time.

But people in the audience were saying it for me. No, I will not get out. What was the last movie you saw? I saw it twice in a week. Really? Yeah. And the second time... I understood more.

I mean, I loved it the first time you were confused by it? well it turns out I didn't know as much about it as I thought I did because the second time I'm like holy shit that guy is the same as that guy right yeah there's characters that you could lose track of

and be like oh I didn't know that was the same dude the guy who gets abducted in the beginning, has everyone seen it? Mm-hmm. He shows up again. Right, right. Yeah, and on first viewing,

it is easy to think that that guy never showed up again. That was just sort of giving you the idea, setting up the premise that this is happening to people.

I thought it was a great movie. Yeah, it's really good. And we've done a great job of holding back on the spoilers. Someone reached out to me from Australia where it just opened and said thank you for not ruining it

because it's been out for weeks and my guests keep coming on and trying to say stuff about it. Did I just blow it? I don't think so. I don't think that one was that bad, really. But this guy over here with the fucking dosekis

he's not happy about it but you know what are you gonna do we do our best sorry australia but here in the states if you haven't seen it yet then you don't you don't deserve to have it it's definitely in the misdemeanor spoiler alert category in America. It's no longer a felony spoiler alert. Right? It's definitely a misty. It's a misty. I was aware. It's a classic misty sitch. I was aware of what I was saying. Yeah. I didn't spoil

the whole damn thing. You kept it pretty vague. Yeah. It wasn't that specific. Okay. Yeah. Should I get more specific? No. Okay, I won't. No, we're good. It's just a movie we all appreciate and over the years we'll get to talk about it more but for the time being there's still idiots who haven't seen it

and they're mad that it's getting ruined. I'm going to try to see Rogue One any day now. I saw that. No, I saw that one too. I was just trying to think of an example of one where people would be really pissed. No, I get it now. Yeah, okay.

Josh, what was the last movie you saw? You know what's funny is I was actually going to try and watch something on the plane, and I never did on my way out. So the last movie I actually saw, and it's kind of embarrassing, was Beer Fest. Because it's been, what, like seven or eight, ten years since you saw a movie?

Pretty much. I mean, the last movie I saw... How long ago was Beer Fest? 2005. 2006. So 11 years ago. Still one of my all-time favorite movies, though. I love it. So you just happened to watch it again? You know what's funny about the movie

is that whenever, and this is going to make me sound like I'm a depressed person, but whenever I'm in a bad mood and I have to go out drinking that night, because you have to go out drinking sometimes, if I watch that movie, it immediately gets me in the mood to drink as much as possible. Just get obliterated.

Get you pumped to go drink beer out of a boot. It's very good that that warning is at the beginning because I'm like, oh yeah, that's right. If I drink this much,

I will die. Yeah. It is like a very, it's like what Rocky does to people but like way more realistic. Yeah. I can handle that.

Yeah. I should run up those steps sometimes but I watch Beer Fest so I'm going to do that. I should run up those steps sometimes, but I watch Beer Fest, so I'm going to do that. All right. It was a great movie. Thank you.

Worked out great that he liked it. It really did. Yeah. If he was just like, oh, I just saw Beer Fest. This is a bad coincidence. Because you didn't know you were going to be on with Jay. No, I had no idea.

Yeah, he's just a fucking Beer Fest nut. Yeah, I love it. And I didn't know I'd be on with the guy who paid to be on. Yeah, I don't reveal that to the other guests. Yeah, that was kind of fun for both of us. Oh, okay. I'm glad it worked out good. Mutual admiration society.

The old MAS. So, Ian, what was the last movie you saw? I saw Win It All. Win It All? Win It All, the new Jake Johnson movie? Yeah. It's on Netflix. Joe Swanberg? movie. Yeah. It's on Netflix.

Joe Swanberg. Yeah. Yeah. And... Nicky Excitement plays his buddy in it. There's a person named Nicky Excitement? His name is Nick... Sean, that's right, right?

Yeah. Nicky Excitement. I got home from the old airport around 11 a.m. And we had one of those early in the day movies. It was great. All right. Yeah. It's really good. But it's one of those early in the day movies. It was great. All right. Yeah. It's really good.

But it's one of those that Netflix paid for it. So it just came out on Netflix first. But it's really fun. Win it all. Win it all. Did he direct it?

No. Sean, is that right? Did he direct it? Yeah, Sean, did he direct it? Swanberg. It's a Swanberg. Swanberg, yeah. That's what I said.

Joe Swanberg directed it. Yeah. And it's one of his movies where it just sort of kind of casually follows some character. It's like a character study. They call it mumblecore. Yeah, but it's more of a plot-driven mumblecore. Like there are things that stick.

Because he's a gambler. So once you get gambling in there, like his last movie, he did that movie Drinking Buddies, and they just sat around and drank. The whole time. But this one, it was like... It's going somewhere. It's like hip rounders a little bit.

Hip rounders. Hip rounders. I like the sound of that. Yeah. Because I want to call the first one square rounders. Square rounders. Because that movie... More like squarers, you know?

It's a fun play on words. Yeah. But yeah, check it out, you guys, on Netflix. Yeah, it's really great. Win it all. Have you been in any movies, Ian? No, I've been to several. I've never really been in one. You've been to several movies.

You are going to kill this game today if you have seen several movies. I did. Actually, when I was in my early 20s, before I ever started doing stand-up, me and my friends wrote and made movies around Portland. We made two feature-length

movies and screened one of them at this place called the Clinton Street Theater in Portland. I just said, have you ever been in a movie? You're like, no, I've never been in a movie. You fucking made a movie. I made a movie. Not a lot of people saw it, and I hope no more ever do. It was not great.

It's not that could ruin my career in the first one. What's it called? I don't want to say. The first one was called The Summer of 69, where, yeah. It literally, it opens with me walking in on my girlfriend in a 69 position. where yeah it literally

it opens with me walking in on my girlfriend in a 69 position with another dude and then closes with me in the 69 position

with a different woman and I looked the same then as I do now yeah it was a bold raunchy comedy I had to

get I had to work my way into a party to try to win back my ex-girlfriend, was the plot, but to get into the party, I had to collect the ultimate party basket to sort of work my way in, so I had to, like, it was a mission for me, like, trying to go get cocaine and weed

and really dope cookies that I thought they would enjoy, and, yeah, we made that, and then we made a second one. That's something people do. They show up at a party with a basket hoping that that will get them entry? This particular character,

what the movie assumes is yes, he would. Okay. Yeah. All right, tell us about the next one. The next one. I have no more questions about the first one. I have a question. Yes.

Oh, shit. Were you on the top or the bottom of the 69? The bottom. Oh, the bottom. Hard bottom. Yeah. Okay. Was it a closed or unclosed 69?

It was an unclosed 69, but you can't see my schvanz. But there are several breasts in the movie, most of which, I don't know, it was real, it was never shady, but I can't believe anyone agreed to it. They were which, I don't know, it was real, it was never shady, but I can't believe anyone agreed to it. They were like, you want to show your boobs?

And people were like, yeah! No one's ever going to see this. And they were right. They were right. The second movie was called Bus Map and it presumed

that the plot was my grandfather had left me a fortune buried under a tree somewhere and he gave me a bus map that was like the treasure map and I had to follow it and encounter all these figures but we lost a whole day of shooting

just like we lost like three months after we filmed it the editor was like oh yeah we lost that whole day of shooting and then we just never picked it back up and abandoned it completely because without that one day there was a lot of good plot twists in that one day it shooting and then we just never picked it back up and abandoned it completely. Because without that one day there was a lot of good plot twists in that one day. It was a plot twisty day.

Yeah, so there was really no point in making it after that. That's like if Shyamalan lost the day where the little kid says, I see dead people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it was just sort of a movie about a weird relationship a kid had with a guy. Very weird.

There was no point for them to hang out together. You couldn't just finish it with you 69ing your grandpa? Wait a minute. I've run out. He may have paid to be here, but he's worth it. Yeah. Thank you. Doug, I just remembered another movie I saw more recently.

Oh, really? Romancing the Stone. Why? Because HBO said, this movie's going away. And I'm like, I better watch it now. Oh, when HBO says we're not going to show it anymore, you take that threat seriously? And it was pretty damn good.

I loved it. Yeah? Yeah. Do you remember Jewel of the Nile, the sequel? I didn't see that. Yeah. It wasn't as good, for sure. You can't blame the first movie for that.

No, no. I'm just trying to make things more recent. Well, like a couple years more recent. The sequel is two years closer to us than the first one. All right, fair enough. Yeah, because I don't know. I mean, does Romancing the Stone hold up for you guys? Do you like that movie? Negative.

Negative, says front row. We haven't seen it in like 12 years. We got one negative and one clap and then everyone else didn't vote. That's what a cherished classic it is. People didn't even want to weigh in on it. But I remember liking that movie a great deal. I enjoyed Danny DeVito a lot.

And he was, of course, in both of those films. Yeah, he's great. Yeah. He was like an executive producer on Super Troopers. He was? Yeah. And so I end up writing him checks every probably

six months or so. And I ran into him at the DGA dinner. And I said, him at the DGA dinner, and I said, hey, Mr. DeVito, Jay, you produce Super Troopers. And he goes, everyone tells me that's a really good movie. Hey, they should also tell him he produced Pulp Fiction. I hear that one's pretty good, too.

So we wrote a lengthy Danny DeVito joke into Super Troopers 2 to make him see it. It's like a two minute Danny DeVito joke. Alright.

That might work. Do you make the checks out to Daniel DeVito? Daniel DeVito. I do. Daniel DeVito. I do. I do. I do. All right.

Good. Excellent. Here's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. Gentlemen. We got some name tags for you to choose from. You need to physically get up from your seat and just go pick your favorite name tag.

There's some with booze, some with candy, some that are just a piece of paper. But while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after these messages. Today's episode is also brought to you by Bosch. Amazon's acclaimed crime series Bosch is back for a third season. Titus Welliver stars as Detective Harry Bosch, an honest cop driven by a dark past who is obsessed with punishing criminals no matter what the cost.

That guy's a good actor. He's intense. Haunted by the discovery that his mother's murder was covered up by the police, Bosch also finds himself implicated in the death of a serial killer he's investigating. Now Bosch must navigate the dangerous waters of a police department that believes he's guilty while working with a partner who is no longer sure he can trust him. Bosch will fight to prove his innocence even as he pursues a dangerous group of ex-special forces assassins willing to kill anyone who gets in their way. Against the glamour and seediness of Los Angeles, Bosch will risk everything to clear his name while bringing

down the murderous crime ring, no matter how many rules he has to break to do it. Based on the best-selling novels by Michael Connelly, stream season three now of Bosch on Amazon Prime. Today's episode is also brought to you in part by Two Dope Queens, a podcast hosted by Jessica Williams and Phoebe Robinson, produced by WNYC Studios. Join the Dope Queens and their favorite comedian friends

for weekly stand-up and storytelling on everything from sex and race to hair journeys and Billy Joel. Be the first to listen to season three on Spotify for free at Spotify.com slash Dope Queens and get all your favorite music on the Spotify mobile app. We're back.

Super speedy name tag selection process. You guys mostly went to the front row. What do you got there, Ian? It says Reed Don on it. Right. And there's you in the back. And I assume that's Reed. That's Reed. Yeah, that's Reed right there. He's tried before with this name tag.

And nobody went for it? Never been picked. So I'm the sucker? You're the one. I like it. I think it's very nice, Reed. Good job, Reed. And you know about the shithead thing, right it's very nice, Reed Good job, Reed And you know about the shithead thing, right, Ian? No, what's the shithead thing? If you lose today

I have to say this thing that he wrote on the back But don't say it now It's the only reason I'm pointing it out Okay, I got it Okay Good job That's a good podcast Josh went for the booze Do you like Tito's and Maker's Mark? Okay Good job That was a good podcast Josh

Josh went for the booze Do you like Tito's and Maker's Mark? Yeah I don't typically drink them together but I'll try it tonight

Oh that sounds like a great idea Just open them both up and just shoot them down I'll get a Tito's and Maker and just go up to the bar That's funny

You know like I asked for a Tito's and soda in a place the other day in Nashville. No, not Nashville. I apologize. San Juan Capistrano. And they're easy to get mixed up.

And the lady bartender, she hands me vodka with... She puts Coke in it because I said soda. And I go, no, soda water, not Coca-Cola. And she goes, oh, sorry, it's my first day. And I'm like, what kind of bartender on day one hasn't been told yet what soda water is? And that people will say a blank and soda. It seems like that's a pretty obvious one.

That should be one of the first things. Right? Unless it's like a bar at Chuck E. Cheese. Then it's like, oh. It's my first day. I just walked in and said, can I have a job? And threw on an apron and started pouring drinks.

It's my first day on Earth. Can you do a fantasy draft of things that bartenders should know from day one? Yeah. That's a good one. Write that down, Sean S. Jordan. But so anyway, so I have Bat Max instead of Bat Man. Yep.

And I noticed very, so I'm guessing Max, yeah. Yeah. But very small here on Robin's face, it's your face. Oh. Yeah I noticed very, so I'm guessing Max, yeah? Yeah. But very small here on Robin's face, it's your face. Oh. Yeah, so that was nice. Yeah, you did a good job,

I think. You're wearing glasses. Why am I wearing glasses? It's the Lego Batman. You can see it in your glasses. Oh, Lego Batman? What? I don't know.

It's still a little small. I'm going to have some of this. Just lie. Lie. Amazing detail. Yeah, it looks great. Great job. I'm very impressed.

All right. So you're going to drink those now? If you guys want any, I'll have some. I don't want any of that. I mean, I guess I'd drink some of the Tito's, but I usually, like I said, I like a mixer. I like to put some Coca-Cola in there Jay who are you playing for?

It's Aaron Plain and it's Aaron Schlib Schilb fuck I knew that I read it and then I did it and wrong anyway but yeah it's the old Aaron Plain he took the airplane poster and put Aaron on it. I saw this movie recently too,

but I guess you're going to berate me about it not being new enough. When did you see it? I mean, why, where? A year ago, online. I fucking watched it. Oh, you just like, just for old time's sake, let's go back and look at Airplane?

I watch movies a third at a time on a treadmill, so I watch like 30 minutes, 30 minutes, 30 minutes, so I watch movies a third at a time on a treadmill. So I watch like 30 minutes, 30 minutes, 30 minutes. I watch this one. It's a great movie. It was great. It was great. You're doing a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar career retrospective. And that style of that movie lives on today because the Angie Tribeca show has a real Zucker Brothers kind of thing going on.

Hayes MacArthur's in that. Yeah, he is. He's a funny guy. All right. This is a really pleasant episode. This is nice. I should have the producer just put some bird sounds

in the background. Bird sounds? Bird sounds. Just like a brook, maybe. The crickets are being quiet tonight, which means that they enjoy the show. Or they're just not, you know, they're not in the mood to fuck.

They heard you talking about 69ing, and they're like, all right, let's pack it in. They're 69ing instead. They don't make the chirp when they're 69ing. They don't. Is that why they make sound? Because they're fucking?

Because they want to fuck, I think. Based on what? You're just making that up? I mean... I think it's mating sounds. Every time I put my dick on a cricket, they shut up. Every time. That's right.

It's called science. You have to have more than one. You gotta do it more than once to prove a thing. Alright. Oh, I forgot to tell Bert Kreischer to turn the show off, but he probably did anyway.

If he is listening. Because we got some games to play you guys and I think these are going to be three fierce competitors so I'm very excited about this we're going to start with a little thing called Purple Rain Man yeah

Purple Rain Man of course is a mash up title of two films right so if you're saying who are the stars of Purple Rain Man, it would be Prince and Dustin Hoffman. I'm going to start from the third level of billing for a

movie mashup title. Tell you the third level, second level, and then the top billed people that would star in this mashup. Guess as often as you like, as soon as somebody gets it right. If they get it right. Yeah, this is a tough one.

Then you're the winner of this game. Ready, fellas? Ready. Ready. I'm ready. I need a ready from each of you. I'm like the flight attendant talking to the emergency exit room. I need a yes from each of you. I'm like the flight attendant talking to the emergency exit row.

I need a yes from each of you. And they're always like, yes! Did you read the card about the emergency instructions? No! No! Third billing of this movie mashup title goes to Betty Thomas and John Ashton. The audience member that went,

is right. That is a tough one. I'd be surprised if anybody got it from that. Sean S. Jordan, do you know it? No, sir. No, he doesn't. I'll check in with you from time to time. Second billing, Craig T. Nelson and Judge Reinhold.

Ooh. Right? Best times at Ridgemont High. Okay, that's one title. So the first title will be something that ends in fast. If Fast Times at Ridgemont High is indeed correct. Fast Times at Ridgemont High School High. Something like that.

You said I could guess as many times as I want to. Yeah, yeah. No, of course you can guess as many times as you want. I'm telling you, that particular guess... I just felt it was a little dead air. I thought I'd guessed something. That particular guess

was just half an answer. That is wrong. All right, so we got Betty Thompson, John Ashton. Are you saying the word fast is in the title? No. Oh, it's not.

I'm not. You are. I see. Times have word fast is in the title? No. Oh, it's not. I'm not. You are. I see. Times at Richmond High is in the title. No, not even that. Not that either. No, it's all of that. Is Betty Thomas in the movie?

All of that. Okay. Betty Thomas, John Ashton, Craig T. Nelson, Judge Reinhold. Oh, no. I'm about to get it. And top billing goes to Shelley Long and Eddie Murphy. There's audience members who know the answer. Maybe.

Possibly. So you got to think of a Shelley Long movie. The title just goes right into an Eddie Murphy movie. I'm trying to think of other movies with Shrek in the title. That is a bad approach. That is going to get you nowhere. Beverly Hills Cop. Is a movie with Eddie Murphy.

Yeah. All right. Celi Long with Eddie Murphy. Yeah. All right. Celi Long and Eddie Murphy. I'm going to give it to Jay just for being half right. Yeah. Wow. Thank you. Oh!

What? It's not Beverly Hills Cops and Robertsons, is it? No. Oh, I don't know then. That would be Eddie Murphy and Chevy Chase. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know then. That would be Eddie Murphy and Chevy Chase. Yeah. No, I don't know.

Oh, wait a minute. I have to say two titles? Yes, it's a mashup. It's two titles mashed together. I get it now. Yeah, what's your answer? I don't know any

Shelley Long movies. Me neither. She, the mashup title that I was looking for is Troop Beverly Hills Cop. Troop Beverly Hills. It was a great Shelley Long vehicle. Now I get this game.

Yeah, now it's too late. It's over. But you came closest to being the right answer, so you are the winner of that game. I'll take the points. Thank you. They didn't bump that lady from that band up in the building? Who's in True Beverly Hills?

Jenny Lewis? Jenny Lewis, yeah. She's one of the kids in there. I think a few of the kids turned out to be kind of notable people. She didn't make the cut. It was all Betty Thomas and Craig T. Nelson. Great movie if you have a chance to consider suicide.

Alright, let's play Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game. Jay, you get to go first. This is where you get to answer individually. I will name an actor or actress and then you name

a movie that you hope and think might be in their top three movies domestic box office of all time after adjusting for inflation. Okay, I got it.

So it's basically just, I'll name somebody, try to name a movie you think that they did that's the most popular. I got it. You know, you want the number one movie because then you'll get three points for that, but number two movie, you get two points, and then number three, you get one.

You get one point, maybe? Yeah. I got it. You're way ahead of this one. You were half there on that last game. But this one, you're way, you're all, you get it completely. Yeah, I'm ready. All right.

And then we'll go to Josh and then to Ian. And there's three rounds of this, so each of you will have a chance to go first. And there's a tiebreaker if necessary. It won't be. Yeah, I'm really bad at it. Oh, you think you are? No, I think I'll be okay at this one. Okay.

Alright. Jay, what do you think's in the top three movies from an actor, the late great departed Christopher Reeve. What do you think's in his top three? Superman 2.

Right? Seems like a reasonable guess. Josh? Well, I mean, adjusted for inflation maybe Superman. That's a good point. Man. Can't argue with that. It would have been really good to go first or second on this one. Yeah.

You never know how this stuff's going to shake out. What do you think? Do you have a Christopher Reeve title you'd like to try? Superman 4? Is that the one where he throws the... Of course you need to know the full title. Superman 4, the clue. The the thoughts. Superman for the clue. The clue?

It's definitely the clue. There's definitely a clue in it. The quest for. It's got a clue. Quest for. Oh, just for. Oh, just for. Gurley's Gold.

Gurley's Gold. It's not the quest for Gurley's Gold. The Superman for the quest for. God, no! Well, I mean, what does everybody want? Love. Justice. That's not justice, is it?

So close, so close. The Quest for Truth? No. The Quest for... Superman 4... The expression you... How about... Yeah.

I'll give you an expression. Blank of ass. Oh, the Quest for Peace. Superman 4, the Quest for peace, of course. Yes. All right. Coming in at number three of Christopher Reeves, we've got Jay said Superman 2,

Josh said Superman, and Ian went with quest for peace. Coming in at number three, Superman 3. Was right there for you, Ian. I think I got the number one, so one of you

just lost out in a big way. Coming in at number two, Superman 2. And number one is, of course, Superman. So, Josh has three points. Ian

has zero. But I have zero, the quest for peace. Right? And Jay has two. And we'll start this next round with Josh. The films of Kevin Spacey. Mmm. Mmm.

I mean, I don't want to sound like a broken record here. Don't be a broken record. Be a special toilet maker i'm gonna have to guess it's superman what all right ian it's probably not that it's probably not that recent one. I don't want to say it because then I feel like that will become my guess.

I bet K-Pax made like a grip of money. K-Pax? Yeah. It's probably K-Pax. I think he's living off of K-Pax now. Alright, he's going with K-Pax. I think he's living off of K-Pax now. He's going with K-Pax. Jay?

Pay it forward. Whoa. K-Pax it forward. All right. Well, those are your guesses, eh? We got Josh says Superman. Ian says K-Pax

and Jay's going with pay it forward coming in at number three for Kevin Spacey Superman Returns oh shit yeah it's tricky

number two A Bug's Life. Oh. Yeah, he was that really mean bug. Yeah. He played a mean bug in that movie. Crickets were scared of him. If I had Kevin Spacey on the show,

the crickets would shut the fuck up. And coming in at number one, for Kevin Spacey, is his brilliant cameo in Austin Powers in Goldmember. Oh, wow. Wow. And I'll be in Austin, Texas this Saturday. Cap City Comedy at 420.

So nobody got any points on that one. So Ian's still bringing up the rear or the less pleasant part of the 69 situation. Jay has two. Josh has three. Thank you. Wow. He's very excited. He's excited that the booze is paying off

that he put on the name tag and that you might win this game that doesn't matter because there's still one more game after it. Ian gets to go first this time. The films of Kate Bosworth. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Do you know who she is? Uh, no. No, I mean, a little bit, but... Okay, so, like, think of that movie that you know that she's in. If she was in this room, I'd just be, like, probably the hottest person. If you're like, Kate Bosworth is in this room,

I'd just find the most attractive person and be like, that's Kate Bosworth. She's pretty cute, right? She's a cutie. She's all right looking Well Jay's a handsome striking man Yeah, more than a cutie. If you call him less than handsome he'll strike you Was she in Superman? This that's not how this works. This isn't Jeopardy. You don't ask me a question. You just take a guess.

Superman. Okay, he's going with Superman, Jay. I'm next? I guess that's why you submitted me. Blue Crush. Oh, yeah. Who doesn't have a Blue Crush on her loved it

I was really hoping that after you two said a name I'd remember who Kate Bosworth was but it's all the Kates are one Kate to me Blue Crush didn't help you? no I kind of forget Blue Crush Blue Crush in the surfing scenes,

they did sort of early face replacement and it wasn't great. But it was still a great movie. I mean, yeah. She didn't need butt replacement, that's for sure. She's in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton. You remember that one? Oh, I do remember that one.

Say that one. And she was in... She was in 21 with the aforementioned Kevin Spacey. Oh, I would have said 21 if I remember. You would have? If you remembered it. Yeah. So does that help you figure out who she is?

Yeah, I'm going to go with 21. I like that movie. Oh, okay. You think I'd give you... Do you think I'd suggest one that was in her top three? It really wasn't helping me remember another one, so just to say something she was in, that's the best I can. That's reasonable.

Was she in that movie Shark Girl? Where the girl lost the arm to the shark? That wasn't what that was called. It was called Soul Surfer. Yeah, yeah, basically. Yeah. I thought Shark Girl was some sort of Shark Boy, Lava Girl, but there's a Shark Boy, Lava Girl movie. I thought Shark Girl was like some sort of like

Shark Boy and Lava Girl, but There's a Shark Boy and Lava Girl movie. Cut for cable. Robert Rodriguez did, yeah. Alright. Let's break this down. Coming in at number six. Win a date with Ted Hamilton.

Nice. Nice. Nice. Number five, Blue Crush. What? I know, right? Number four, 21. Nice. So close.

Number three, I don't remember her in this movie, but I also don't remember it. The Horse Whisperer. She was the horse. She was the horse. She was the voice of the horse. It was so low. She was the voice of the horse.

Most of her lines were, what? Stop whispering and say it. Number two, remember the Titans. Who remembers that she was in that? And then number one, I tried to hand it to you guys, but it didn't work out.

Superman returns. Yeah. So that means that Josh wins this game with three points. But just for fun, let's go back to Jay and have him go first on this next one. This was going to be the tiebreaker, but Josh won.

But just for the hell of it, let's do this. Marlon Brando. Ooh. Oh, same game? Okay. New game, but you don't know what it is. Marlon Brando, go. Well, I mean,

it's Superman. I like you said it like a Jewish last name. Superman. Or a guy last name, Superman. Or a guy that runs the building. Josh? The Godfather. Okay, Ian? It's adjusted for inflation.

Godfather 2. Why would Charlie Brando be in Godfather 2? I'm so sorry. He dies in Godfather 1. It's the main thing that happens. How did I fuck that up? It's been a long day. I did mushrooms on Sunday.

Yesterday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what is time really? I'm doing Douglas movies tomorrow night. I should do some mushrooms. It was way earlier in the day. It was technically Saturday night.

I was... Okay, yeah. It was breakfast mushrooms? It was breakfast mushrooms. They were in an omelet. It was fun. I'm going to go with... He gets a second guess now?

Yeah. Oh, I see. Wait, we're just doing this for fun anyway. Oh, okay. Yeah. I can't tie him if I win? No. For a second.

Adjusted for inflation on the waterfront. Oh. Interesting. Maybe. Number three. Yeah. Apocalypse Now.

Yeah, that was a big one. Number two. Superman. Superman. Yeah. And number one. Doesn't mean that Josh Number two, Superman. Oh. Yeah. And number one doesn't mean that Josh gets any more points. He doesn't need them.

But it's the Godfather. All right. All right. All right, so Josh won that game. That means he gets to go first in Last Man Stanton. game that means he gets to go first in last man stanton you might remember this game jay from another appearance on the show we're gonna get the name of an actor or actress from an audience member i don't want to know in advance because i'd like to play along on this one and then we're going to take turns naming movies that person was in if you you can't think of one, or if you say one that's wrong, you're out. But you get one lifeline,

which is the person whose name tag you chose. You can go to them once for help. Yeah. See how that works out. I remember that game. Yeah. Pretty easy. I didn't notice anybody on Twitter saying to me today,

I've got a great name for Last Man Stanton, so I need to see a show of hands if anybody suggests one. Now, isn't your name tag in play right now? Yeah, but I did send you a tweet. You did? I did, too. What'd you say in the tweet? Did I mute both of you guys?

It's the first tweet I ever sent. Your first tweet ever? Nice. Oh, that probably just didn't even go through the system. You got to get great at tweeting before they let you show it to people. All right, let me see this thing. How long ago did you think you tweeted me?

Either this morning or last night. I tweeted like two hours ago. Okay, two hours ago is more appropriate. If you tweet me a day before or a week before, then that's not going to get you anywhere because I look the day of the show. But I can't believe I missed yours today if it was just two hours ago.

So I'm going to find it. Good but not perfect. What? You said you had a good but not perfect name? Well, I'm going to dismiss that immediately. I want perfection. What? You said you had a good but not perfect name? Well, I'm going to dismiss that immediately. I want perfection. I want to see some asses wiggling.

Believe in yourself, you know? Yeah, you just got to believe in yourself, man. That's what it comes down to. What's your name on Twitter, dude? Aaron underscore shill. Aaron underscore shill. My name on the tag. What? Not shill. No, I know your name's... Shill.. Aaron underscore Shilb. On the tag. What? Not Shilb.

No, I know your name's Shilb. It's there with an underscore in between. All right, I'm just going to look for you, because I don't know why it didn't come up on my thing. E-R-I-N. Oh, double A-R. A-A-R-O-N underscore Shilb. How do you spell it?

S-C-H-I-L-P. That's correct. H-L-I-B. Point to J. All right. Aaron underscore slid. See, I made that mistake too. You just look at it and you're like,

fucking slid, man. Slid. Wait, which one is it? Shilb ILB Okay I gotta fix that I typed it wrong that's why I was saying it wrong I didn't even type it right Shilb

What? Okay Okay I found you You're from Nashville? Yeah you were there yesterday weren't me. You're from Nashville? Yeah, you were there yesterday, weren't you? I wasn't Nashville yesterday. It's really weird that you're here today. I drove here. You drove here from Nashville?

Were you there yesterday? No. 3,000 miles. All right, here we go. Doug Benson, I drove 2,700 miles to come to DLM show tonight. Yeah, that's what you wrote. To come to come. I drove so far to come.

And then in capital letters, can't wait, yo. Which part of that says that you've got a name for Last Man Stanton? There's another one. There's another tweet? You're just pestering me? Oh, here we go. Doug Benson, I have a great name for Last Man Stanton at Nerd Melt tonight.

I don't remember it being played lately. Here's my name tag and then a picture of your name tag. Okay, so we've confirmed that you have indeed suggested a name, as has the man who's sitting next to you, both of whom have name tags on the stage. So I'd rather find something that's a little bit more... a little bit more fair,

like this gentleman who also has a name tag on stage. So is there anybody else here? Here we go. This... Cuba Gooding Jr.? Oh, I like it. Hell yeah.

Cuba fucking Gooding fucking Jr. Is what we're going to do tonight. I like it. So you guys each have one lifeline. Let's do some Cuba Gooding Jr. I don't know if vehicle's the right word. Oh, it is for one of his movies. All right. So Josh gets to go first, then we'll go to Jay, then we'll go to me, and then Ian. Oh it is for one of his movies Alright so

Josh gets to go first Then we'll go to Jay Then we'll go to me And then Ian Cuba Gooding Sr. just died What? Yeah I'm not bringing it down

It's a fine time to remember him Yeah In a car Oh he died in a car Oh yeah they found him in a car right? But not moving No It was a stopped car

What are you guys talking about? He's asking who he is But not moving. No. It was a stopped car. Oh, shit. All right. What are you guys talking about? He's asking who he is. All right. You don't know who Cuba Gooding Jr. is? That's not good for you. And then the guy in the front row is explaining to him out loud what movie Cuba Gooding Jr. is in?

Yeah. He's next to me. Right. I know. He's right next to you. I could hear you guys talking to each other. Do you guys know each other? I think we do. Just met tonight.

Wow, what a bond. Because you're talking out loud while I'm trying to do a show. All right, Josh. I will go with Jerry Maguire. Of course. Sure, easy. That's the one. He won the Oscar.

All right, Jay. Boat trip. That's a Cuba Gooding Jr. vehicle those were the only two I was 100% sure of did you know that after the this is terrible of me to say so I hope it doesn't bum everybody out but do you know that his dad died in that accident

in the car, do you know where they found him? nowhere he was on the radio that's right know where they found him? Nowhere. He was on the radio. That's right. Yeah, right. Ian? Radio?

That's what Isis said. Oh, you guys counted? I'm going to play him too. I'm playing too. I thought you were dropping me a really gentle hint. I like to play along as well. He was in Snow Dogs, right? Yeah, he was. Yes!

Yeah! He plays the title character in most of his films. He's in Snow Dogs, right? Yeah, he was. Yes! Yeah! Nice. He plays the title character in most of his films. He's in Snow Dogs. He plays Snow Dog in them. He plays the dog, yeah. What's up, Snow Dog? Snow Dog.

Josh? I'm going to go to my lifeline. Max? Oh, he's going to Max. What do you got, Max? Lee Daniels the butler. Lee Daniels the butler. Whoa.

All right. Didn't know that. That is what I call a full title. Jay. The people versus OJ Simpson. Oh. So you think that we're talking about TV series. What did you just try to

say Oscar winner. Please stop talking. Just because you're sitting in the front row doesn't mean you can just chat about everything that happens. And that is a fucking Oscar winning documentary that did not have Cuba Gooding Jr. in it, but he's talking about a TV series that did.

It was kind of a movie though. It kind of was. It was kind of cinematic. It was kind of a movie, though. It kind of was. It was kind of cinematic. It was definitely a journey. Do you want to try something else? You could go to your lifeline because he doesn't even know who he is. Well, we could explain to him. He played O.J. Simpson

in... Oh, I know. How Stella Got Her Groove Back. What? Was he in that? He's in that? Yeah, yeah, he's in that. You're not just being racist?

No, he plays the boyfriend. No. That's what's his name. Yeah. Oh, he's got one now. Your lifeline has one. Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor. Oh, he's got one now. Your lifeline has one. Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor.

Oh, yeah. I might have been being racist now that I think about it. I think I was. Yeah, yeah. It happens. What are you going to do? I was. Yeah, I was. Alright, so

man, we're really banging him out here. I don't want to take up too much time thinking about it. Do you have one, Ian? No, not at the top. I was going to ask Reed. Yeah, you're going to go to Reed. Yeah, I'm definitely going to Reed. It's about that time. But I just want to say that he was in fucking...

Oh, what was that one where he was like, hey? And everyone was like, what's up? Now who's being racist, Doug? Oh, I thought of it. Boys in the Hood. Oh! Okay. You just have to go through some of the dialogue

in your head and then you find it Sean is going to murder me for forgetting Boys in the Hood and not saying it before Why would he murder you for that? He's got a crazy temper No It's a movie that's like frequently on in our home

Oh, everybody loves it? People like frequently on in our home. Oh, everybody loves it? Yeah. Okay. People like to check in with the dough boy. Everybody loves Ray-dio, we call it, in our house. For fun. Just to lighten the mood.

Reed, you got nothing, do you? You going to Reed? Reed's shaking his head like, I don't know. Does Reed have a lifeline? Fucking Cuba Gooding Jr. He doesn't have anything for you. Yeah, me neither. So I'll just throw a movie out there. Oh, I like that.

I like when people take a chance like that. The Emperor's New Groove. Whoa, that is... Maybe. I can't verify whether he is or isn't in it. It feels like he would have snuck into one, right? I'm going to say he's not in it. Okay, all right.

Let's move on. It's been a pleasure. I thought you'd pick one of those ones that has a ton of people in it, like JFK. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait. He is in one of those ones that has a ton of people. I just thought of one. Really?

Uh-huh. I think so. Or I'm being racist. I think Jay might have thought of it, too. I had the same worry. Yeah. But you already did it. Right, so if I did it again, they'd be like,

he is racist. Should I throw it out, or do you want to wait to throw it out? Go ahead. Let's see how you do. Isn't he in Crash? No. No, racist. Big time racist. Isn't he in Crash? No. No. Racist. Big time racist.

I have another one. Big racism thing for me today. Oh, well. In 10 years, a bunch of us will think he was. I mean, a bunch of us think he is now. Yeah, yeah. Nobody gives a shit about the movie Crash. It's like one of the classic examples of a movie that won Best Picture and didn't deserve it.

Yeah. All right, Josh. Snow Dogs 2, I think, was a movie. You don't want to go to your lifeline, or did you already? I already did, yeah. Oh, that's right. I already talked to Max. All right.

I don't think there's a Snow Dogs 2. I mean... I'm pretty sure there's a Snow Dogs 2. Don't know if he's in it or not, though. Oh, there was one? I'm pretty sure. I just don't know if he was in it or not though oh there was one? I'm pretty sure I just don't know if he was in it

no there's no way what else was he doing? it's just fucking about to win an Emmy or whatever he's gonna win

for that OJ thing well now I hear he's very good at it I didn't even see it neither did I I did or the doc did you see both?

no because the documentary Is like eight hours long I saw both Yeah? Which one's better? Like if someone's Going to just watch one

To get the OJ experience Which one should they watch? If I can't ask you Any follow up questions About your personal taste I would just go With the FX show Even though the documentary

Is amazing Alright What question Would you ask me About my personal taste? What do you get up to on a Sunday morning? And then, from whatever you said, I'd be able to work backwards.

If you're out there... I thought you'd ask more of, like, a question like, what do you think of David Schwimmer? Not anything. How much David Schwimmer can you tolerate? What's your Schwimmer tolerance? Because he's not in the documentary at all. All right, so Jay,

do you still have another racist answer? I'm reluctant, but I'm almost sure I'm right. Okay. MLK. Was there a movie MLK? Did he not play one of MLK's buddies in that movie? Is he in Selma? Selma. He played one of his buddies.

All right, well, you won anyway, because you were already ahead. Thank you. But now is when the audience gets to speak. What movies did we miss? Machete 2. Machete 2.

Men of Honor. Oh yeah, Men of Honor was good. Rat Race. I was trying to think of Rat Race. I knew it was like in a movie with lots of people in a race. That's why I said trying to think of rat race. I knew it was like in a movie with lots of people in it, in a race. Rat. That's why I said crash. Lots of people.

Race. Yeah. You were, you were so close. That's why I said MLK. Do you remember, there's a movie called crash. That was a David Cronenberg movie where,

where, uh, uh, what's his name? James Spader was into fucking, uh, fucking, uh, car crash victims' wounds.

Yeah. Yeah, it was gnarly. And then crash, the other crash came along and just erased the first crash off of the map. Not one fucked wound in that whole movie. I don't know.

I don't get the idea of another movie being called the same thing as a previous movie. Like, I just think you should come up with a new title, especially, you know, since there's so many great titles out there like Larry Crown. Yeah. You know what I mean? You could just name the movie after the character. Michael Collins. Yeah.

Or Michael Clayton. Rocky. Yeah. Yeah. Just Michael Clayton. Rocky. Yeah. Yeah. Just name it after a person in the movie. Chances are there's another movie that had that name. MLK. Why isn't there an MLK movie?

I don't know. That seems... Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we'll make it. The four of us together. Yeah. Because you know MLK had to use a toilet every once in a while.

That's right. Jay and I have both made huge movies, so we're going to... What's the grossest thing you've done in a movie, Jay? Because he's... Ian, we already know his answer. The whole 69 thing. I mean, I licked Monique's feet.

And that was in the movie Precious? In Beer Fest. In Beer Fest. Shut up, Precious. Someone's coming over to lick my feet. You know that guy from Beer Fest? He's coming over to lick my feet. Did you, when you made Beer Fest,

did you think Monique was going to go on to win an Oscar? We didn't have any premonition that that would happen, no. Yeah, it didn't seem like you would see that coming. After she won the Oscar, though, she did not talk to us ever again. Oh, really? I mean, not like we called her, but it wasn't like... I feel like she moved on to better things. Her outgoing message just says,

I won an Oscar. Good luck. All right, so... Who ended up winning? You won? Jay won? Jay won. Yeah, I won.

Yeah. She won for Mr. Schlipschilb. Aaron Schlipschilb. And so you've got to write his name in this thing. Oh, God. And spell it correctly. Good luck. Okay.

Yeah, because he's really exacting about this Schilb situation. Here's a Sharpie for you. And while you're doing that, we'll go over here to Ian. What do you got to plug, dude? Oh, check out the All Fantasy Everything podcast, where I will do... I'll perform better than I did. And then thank you, and I'll be at... Do you always win on that podcast?

I sometimes win because Sean fucks around and picks bean burritos and stuff like that. We did one hit wonders the other day and somebody took the Star Spangled Banner first.

She fucked me right up. I still haven't recovered it. Ended a relationship I was in. I'm doing poorly at work. Do you know for sure the dude who wrote that didn't write other hits? I don't know. Name another

Francis Scott Key song. Well, he's half of the Black Keys, isn't he? Nice. I'll be at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival and then at the Comedy Bar in Toronto. What is that club in Wilmington? The Dead Crow Comedy

Room in Wilmington, North Carolina. It's called the Dead Crow Comedy Room? The Dead Crow Comedy Room. That doesn't seem like a great... It might not be. I might show up at a barn and they'll kill me. That might be what happens. Alright. Well, thank you for being here, man. Thanks for having me.

Great time. Great job. Good times, great job. Josh, pass me your losing name tag. I'm glad you took the booze off of it, though. I still got it in my pocket if you want some, though. And go ahead, man. Give us your plugs.

All right. Well, so if anybody's in Boston and needs plumbing supplies, you can come to Metropolitan Pipe. We're right by MIT. We'll ship nationally, so 1-800-MET-PIPE if anybody's interested. MET-PIPE.com as well.

What if somebody buys a toilet who just lives in El Salvador from you because of this? Yeah, we'll ship it. That's fine. I'm in. I'm into it. And if you want to follow me on Twitter, it's at Wagonsports, because I have a podcast called Off the Wagon, where we get drunk and talk about sports.

And you can listen to that, too, if you want. It's been a while since there's been an episode. So it happens. But when do sports start up again? You can do another one. Yeah, right. I'm waiting for the next one to come out. But, yeah, you can follow me on Twitter, at Wagon Sports,

and I'm going to be at the airport tomorrow if anybody wants to talk to me. Oh, yeah? LAX? LAX, tomorrow morning. LAX to direct flight to Boston? Direct flight to Boston, Virgin Airlines. Oh, okay. So 7 a.m. if anybody wants to. Max is going to be there.

Oh, perfect, great. Yeah, you guys can have a mimosa or some shit perfect Jay I wrote the book Mustache Shenanigans available now and I'll be at the Draft House in Northern Virginia

sometime in the next month or so and then Arlington Virginia thank you and then I'm in Winnipeg at the place where they tell jokes up there. I can't remember the name of it. You know the place? Oh, Winnipeg.

The Winnipeg joke hut? Yeah, yeah, kind of. Yeah, maybe. Kind of. Comedy shack? Sure. Sure. I mean, Winnipeg, people can figure it out.

Yeah, there's got to be one place in Winnipeg, right? There might be more than one, but look for the one that's got you. You know the nickname of Winnipeg? Mm-mm. The Peg. No. That seems sexual. Yeah.

Yeah. Right? Isn't pegging a sexual thing? Yeah. It's 69ing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you can while you're 69ing, because it's just putting, I think, just like a little bit up the butt, right?

Just a little bit? Isn't that pegging? Wait, you can peg in 69 at the same time? There's not one person in this room? Yeah. Oh, it's a dildo up the ass. So it could be any... So of course that could happen while you're 69ing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you have one of those unicorn forehead dildos, which I assume we all do, yeah, absolutely. It's encouraged. Yeah, who doesn't, man? Who doesn't? You could just hand Aaron his name tag and the book and come get these bags of prizes, Aaron. Congratulations. Don't knock your booze over.

You got a whole, like, bottle of something? What are you drinking on there? What is that? Seagrams. Seagrams. All right. Good for you. Some of us have a problem.

We need to stop drinking for the 90 minutes it takes to do this show. I had some stuff I wanted to plug. Oh, tomorrow night we're back over at Meltdown Comics at 9.30. And then... You're at UCB. Oh, I said Meltdown Comics? Meltdown now, yeah. Sorry, sorry.

Tomorrow night we're here at UCB. At 9.30. And then, again, just like Winnipeg, if you look it up, you can find it. And then I'm going to be at the LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas May 27th, doing Doug Loves Movies at

4.20. Thank you again to all of my guests. Jay, Sandra Sarkar, Josh Brown, Ian Carmel. And as always, she who sells she sells down by the seashore is a shithead.

And by the seashore is a shithead. And representing the Trump administration in court is a shithead. Matt's in the booth going, Go! God damn it, go! I want you to leave all this in. Do not edit this out. Matt Belknap, working the buttons.

You could just put it in in post. Do you want me to sing it? Oh, yeah, I'd love to hear you sing it. Doug hates... put it in in post. Do you want me to sing it? Oh, yeah. I'd love to hear you sing it. That's the opening theme, you morons. You idiots. Now it's time for Doug to watch another... What?

We'll just put it in in post. Thank you, guys. Good night. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room

in his heart for you because Doug loves movies. Once again, today's episode is brought to you in part by Bosh. Bosh is back for a third season. Titus Wellifer stars as Detective Harry Bosh, an honest cop driven by a dark past

who is obsessed with punishing criminals no matter what the cost. Based on the best-selling novels by Michael Connelly, season three is streaming now on Amazon Prime. And finally, today's Doug Loves Movies is brought to you by 2 Dope Queens, a weekly stand-up and storytelling podcast from WNYC Studios, hosted by Jessica Williams and Phoebe Robinson. Listen to Season 3 of 2 Dope Queens first on Spotify for free at spotify.com slash dope queens and get all your favorite music on the Spotify mobile app.