Doug Loves Movies - Jay Chandrasekhar, James Gunn ...and Neal Brennan? Guest
Episode Date: July 19, 2012Doug welcomes directors Jay Chandrasekhar, James Gunn, and possibly Neal Brennan to the show....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19....com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Doug hates candy wrappers,
treating babies in D&D
with 50 heads and top-octagonal pins
His feet, they're still not warm
and he won't sleep
cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, everybody.
Man, that'll work.
Just needed somewhere to lean a poster.
My name is Doug.
And I heart movies!
This is Doug Heartsarts Movies.
Coming to you after too long of a break, UCB,
from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Tuesday, July 17th,
to Oceans 12!
We did it!
Jordan is here.
It's weird to do this show without seeing Jordan.
But I did a bunch of them
out on the road. And since
I last spoke and you listened, I filmed
the Douglas movies in San Diego
for my new movie, Chronicon.
And
an excerpt of that show
will be available. You probably have,
regular listeners have probably heard it already because
between the time I record this
and then this comes out on Friday, we'll probably release it.
But it's just going to be part of it because we filmed it for the movie.
And so why have everybody hear the whole thing?
And then when you see it in the movie, you'll be like, well, I already heard all of this.
So it'll just be an excerpt, probably about 30 minutes of it.
So that'll be fun to listen to.
We had great guests, Kulop and Scott and Brian Posain.
If you are in Dallas or Fort Worth or that area,
please come see me and two special guests do stand-up at Hyenas in Dallas
on Sunday, July 22nd at 420.
And then one lucky audience member who can compete well in the Leonard Maltin
game and has a cool name tag will win a seat
in the 8 o'clock Douglas Movies taping
later that night.
And please join me for another stand-up show
the next night, Monday, July 23rd
at Hyena's in Fort Worth.
Now the prize bag
is an interesting mix of stuff
tonight because it's
mostly for me.
Because as it turns out,
one of the guests is here,
has arrived on time,
and that guest signed their name
on a Douglas Movies t-shirt,
which makes it a one-of-a-kind
Douglas Movies t-shirt.
And then I also included Smug Life
and my first my first one professional
humor edian CD and freak dance sticker and then there's a poster here that the
publicist of one of the other guests who I don't think is here yet brought for
that guests new movie so we'll we'll deal with that when the time comes. So, with one guest backstage when I walked out here,
quite possibly still, still just the one guest,
but I will say all three names.
Please welcome, this is the director's edition of Doug Loves Movies,
please welcome James Gunn, Neil Brennan, and Jay Chandraskar!
Chandraskar!
Two of them.
Mike's on the floor.
I broke it.
I'm so happy to be here.
It is happening.
I offered Doug.
I forgot.
He usually asks me to bring something for the audience.
And I guess I fucked up, right?
I guess so.
Or your guy, your publicist guy.
My publicist guy is a piece of shit.
But it happens.
Everybody that's Jordan will tell you.
The guests forget to bring all the time.
I offered to come on the t-shirt.
I did offer to go back in the bathroom.
He did offer to jizz all over it.
And I said, why don't you just sign it?
I would have done it too
but you didn't think
that was a good thing
that people would want to have.
Why don't you change
your first name
from James to Jizz
since you're so,
Jizz Gun
would be an awesome.
What kind of joke is that?
Who wouldn't see
a movie directed by Jizz Gun?
I'm offended.
I'm offended
by that particular joke.
Oh, okay.
Hey, Jay.
Hi. First time guest.
Thank you for coming.
And I brought something. What'd you bring?
Oh, your publicist
gave it to me already. No, no. Oh, you brought something else?
I brought two things. Okay, a poster
for your new movie, Babymakers.
A signed Beer Fest script.
There you go.
That's called taking it up a notch.
Now, who exactly signed it?
All the fellas from Broken Lizard.
James Gunn?
I will.
You want to sign it?
I want to sign it.
I want to come on it.
Make it worthless?
All the Broken Lizard dudes.
I'm happy to personalize it if you want.
Oh, yeah?
Sure.
All right.
I brought a Sharpie.
I never knew.
It's right here on the front page.
I never knew that Beer Fest
was a highbrow comedy.
Highbrow comedy.
Wait, where does it say that?
They got a fucking joke in
before the title credit.
A highbrow comedy by Broken Lizard.
Yeah.
So it's the first page is fun,
so no wonder you got that made.
That's pretty awesome
I kind of got a broken lizard tattoo on my arm
from when I was 18 years old
it's kind of fucked up
it is a lizard but is it broken?
or regular
it's a together lizard
like that Geico one
right?
for a lizard he's got his shit together
spokesman for a pretty big company argues with an old man a lot Right? For a lizard, he's got his shit together.
Spokesman for a pretty big company.
Argues with an old man a lot.
He's got one up on Gilbert Gottfried, that's for sure.
Because nobody even gives a shit who the voice of the Geico lizard is.
Like, it doesn't even matter.
If that guy said something horrible, nobody would know.
Nobody would be like, that's the lizard.
Yeah, that guy could be Daniel Tosh
and he'd still be working.
That'd be hilarious,
a series of outtakes
from Geico commercials
where the lizards stand around
telling rape jokes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
In his normal accent.
He doesn't even speak
in that accent.
So Jay's movie, new movie, Babymakers, right?
I always want to say Troublemakers for some reason.
Because that's what I think of Babymakers.
We can make that next.
All right.
Babymakers opens soon?
August 3rd.
August 3rd in theaters all over the country?
It'll open in 10 cities.
And then it'll also be on iTunes
same day.
It'll maybe open wider if it does well.
I like your attitude.
Thank you.
Let's make it open wider, you guys.
Go see Babymakers.
Olivia Munn, Paul Schneider,
you.
Kevin Heffernan
Wood Harris from The Wire
Alright
That's pretty cool
I love that guy
In my last movie I had Andre Royo
Who played Bubbles in The Wire
Yeah, Bubbles, right
This dude, Nat Faxon
Who won the Oscar for writing The Descendants
He seemed As puzzled as everyone else When Jim Rash stuck his leg out This dude, Nat Faxon, who won the Oscar for writing The Descendants.
He seemed as puzzled as everyone else when Jim Rash stuck his leg out Angelina Jolie style.
That was so funny, but Nat was kind of like, what?
What's going on?
Why is that funny?
Jay, I have a question for you.
Okay.
If you had to kill one person in your cast, of those people you just mentioned. Or somebody's gonna kill all of them. And just be
glad you don't have to fuck or marry any of them.
Which would you kill?
Thank God we get right to the heart of the game.
Let's not... You have to kill one.
You have to kill one. Pussyfoot around.
I guess
I would kill... I'd kill Olivia Munn.
Would you? Yeah, but who would you kill?
Did you bring that up just because?
It's Pretty Woman.
It's fun to kill her.
Well, she's already dead.
Haven't you watched a serial killer movie ever?
Who gets killed?
Pretty Women.
That's why it's so cool.
No, no, really.
Who would you kill?
No, really.
Who would I kill?
It's tough.
I guess I would kill Paul Schneider, maybe.
Cool.
Just for the fuck of it.
Even if somebody didn't ask you.
Yeah, no good reason.
I like him.
I think you just have to kill them all
so you don't hurt anybody's feelings.
That's probably better.
That's probably better.
Nobody likes to be left out.
Yeah.
Like a coin.
So, let's see if I got some
other good questions
written down for you guys
so Neil Brennan obviously is not here yet
and he texted me
like 20 minutes ago
I'm going to be 10 minutes late
and I wrote back well 10 minutes late
from when I asked you to be here
or 10 minutes late from when the show
is actually starting
and then he didn't answer that question
I don't blame him he's awful passive aggressive when the show's actually starting. And then he didn't answer that question.
I don't blame him.
He's awful, passive-aggressive.
The rare stoner scolding you for being late.
I love it.
I love it.
It is weird that I have a show that starts exactly at 7.30 every week.
Have I ever missed it?
No.
But my guests, they have.
And the answer is always,
oh, the traffic.
I don't think I've ever been on your show when there wasn't somebody who didn't show up.
That's true. I'm starting to take it
personally, yeah. Well, you know,
it's at the ten minutes past
when it was supposed to start,
so I assume he's going to
come racing in any second.
Last time Rooker was supposed to be on this show,
he didn't make it at all.
He didn't make it at all, and he was texting me
while you were doing the show, asking for
your number that I could give it to him
so he could tell you it's going to be late to your show.
Or could you hold it off for a little while
or whatever? Yeah, yeah, hold off
the show. Yeah, this is Michael Rooker.
He's acted in a lot of my movies, and he's a
moron.
But really good at the Leonard Maltin game.
Yeah.
Because we played Sea of Love, which he was in,
and he didn't recognize any of it.
No, the category was Michael Rooker movies.
Yeah.
And he lost to my brother Sean.
Yeah.
But in his defense, Sean has been obsessed with Michael Rooker
for his entire life.
I did.
One time I went online
and I took one of those quizzes,
like my movie Slither,
and I took the quiz to try to answer
how well I would do,
and I got like 57%.
I didn't know anything in my own movie.
It's, you know, you're looking at it
from a different angle.
You were Googling yourself in Slither?
No, I think somebody posted it on my Facebook page to be completely honest
I forgot to ask it the way I wanted to ask
because I thought it was hilarious to say
when is the baby makers
when is that movie due
has anyone asked you that yet
no you're the first
it'll happen again I'm sure
it's not that clever
and James Gunn
has a video game
that he's already
tired of promoting
at this point
I told you backstage
I'm like
we don't really have to
I'm done
I'm done with promoting
let's move a couple more
it's a great game right
yeah yeah
it's called
Lollipop Chainsaw
and it's a story
of this girl
Juliet Starling
who's a cheerleader and she's got her boyfriend's disembodied head
attached to her waist, and she kills a bunch of zombies,
and it's out now everywhere on Xbox and PS3,
and it's doing extraordinarily well, happily.
So it's fun. It's a fun game.
Because she's got her ex-boyfriend's head attached to her stomach.
Yeah, and it's a great place to come and promote a game is on a movie's podcast.
Is the head helpful to her?
Is she better at killing zombies because she has her ex-boyfriend's head?
Well, her ex-boyfriend's head is very funny.
It's played by my friend Michael Rosenbaum, who was Lex Luthor on Small.
Sure.
Very funny guy.
And he gives her a lot of advice throughout the game.
But also, she can cut off a zombie's head and put his head on the zombie,
and then that zombie becomes her assistant.
So he can help her out a little bit for a short amount of time.
It's a realistic game.
I really tried. I did a lot of research while I was writing this game
because I wanted to get every little specific thing right.
I'm really crazy when it comes to the research.
Does she have sex with the zombie boyfriend head
once it's all put together?
We never see it happen, but there is some discussion.
Some off-screen shenanigans?
Of the things that they could do.
What could happen.
In a way he could satisfy her.
Jay, you recently tweeted
I was going to say
that
she's giving the zombie head,
but then I didn't.
Only I can see Jay's
huge erection behind this table right now.
So generous
of you to say it's huge.
Jay, you recently tweeted now. So generous of you to say it's huge. It is.
Thank you.
Jay, you recently tweeted that
This is Spinal Tap is the greatest
film of all time.
And my question to you is, have you forgotten about
the adventures of Milo and Otis?
Do you know about Milo and Otis?
Do you know about the controversy behind this?
The controversy is that they made a movie
where they just kept tossing cats off of a cliff.
Yeah, they kept killing those cats.
Yeah, it's fucking horrifying.
But also a hilarious movie.
Cute.
Because Dudley Moore does all the voices
and they scamper around and it's real cutesy
and then next thing you know they're in a box
going down a raging river,
and you know those are real cats
that they put in a box
on a raging river.
Fucking killing one kitten
after the next in that movie.
God damn.
But it's worth it
because it's so great.
Yeah.
But I'd say,
this is Spinal Tap,
it's definitely funnier on purpose.
And it truly is a great film.
That's sort of a loaded question.
No, I watched it again
a few days ago.
It's fucking great.
I mean, it's just...
The number of great cameos in that movie,
Fred Willard and
Fran Drescher
and Paul Schaefer.
It's just perfect.
Yeah, Dana Crystal and Billy Carvey are in it.
Dan Murray, Bill Aykroyd.
Fran Drescher for exactly
the amount of time anyone could ever take her.
Dude, I...
She's funny in that movie.
Fran Drescher's funny.
I'm telling you, I saw Fran Drescher
and I thought she was like
past her prime
I saw her
now this was a little while
it was a few years ago
but I saw her at a party
I was checking her out
and I'm like
who's that girl in the dance floor
she's fucking hot
and it was fucking Fran Drescher
and I'm like
what the hell
the nanny is hot
that's a true story
and then I fucked her
so many times
in so many ways
that night
no I didn't do that
Jay I have a question for you.
I don't want to be any part of it.
I think Michael McKeon deserved the Academy Award
for Spinal Tap the year that movie came out.
I think he's amazing in that movie.
He's trying to suck up to me now.
What do you think?
Can I be in a program with him?
I think he was terrific.
But I worked with him on Happy Endings.
And he almost played the chief of police in Super Troopers.
We met him and we talked to him for a while about that.
Wow.
And more recently, he was hit by a car in New York City.
A car jumped the curb.
And apparently he's doing all right.
Yeah, never missed a performance in his life.
And then he had to sit out that play that he was in, Best Man.
He had to sit out for a period of time.
If he was in a Marvel movie and he was hit by a car, he'd have
superpowers now.
Well, you guys have both brought up things that have led me
to ask some questions. James, if you
don't mind.
But I like it
though. I've never had a guest say, I have a question
for you!
It's really, it's quite helpful.
It's very helpful. I helpful it's very helpful awkward friend
dresser but Jay mentioned directing happy endings which is a show that I
love and that you directed and also of course you've directed you directed
episodes of Arrested Development and so I just want to start yeah I just want to
start a rumor right here and now that you're going to direct the Arrested Development movie. Congratulations. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So we took care of
that, and then...
You know, that Arrested Development movie, it's like
that rumor that never stops.
And I keep running into...
I ran into Ron Howard in the bathroom
of the DGA.
I have an aversion to talking to guys in the bathroom, generally.
But I talked to him because I was like, you know, when am I going to get another chance?
Did you like check it out though a little bit?
It's Ron Howard.
It's red.
It's red.
Yeah, it's a very ginger penis.
It's red.
Was it hard to resist like peeing next to him and going...
peeing next to him and going... He said it's
going to happen.
Yeah, that's what everybody's saying.
Netflix is saying it.
Netflix is saying like 10 episodes,
each character gets an episode to
catch you up to where they're at,
and then a movie is what they're saying.
I worked with Will Arnett on Up All Night,
and he said it was going to happen.
Also red.
How can anyone...
But it was the herpes.
So James, other than
your movie Super, which I've gone
on record as saying it is in fact
just that. It's Super.
Thanks, man.
What is your,
because this is sort of this crazy summer of superheroes,
so what's your favorite superhero movie ever?
Ever?
Yeah, of all time.
The first Iron Man movie.
I really think that's the best.
I think the first Iron Man worked really, really well.
I actually don't think there's too many good ones.
I think the first Iron Man was great. I mean, I actually don't think there's too many good ones. I think the first Iron Man
was great.
I mean, these are like
the mainstream superhero movies.
Sure.
Well, what's a non-mainstream
one that's good?
I knew that was coming.
As soon as it came
out of my mouth,
my head was going.
What do you got?
I don't like any of the nine.
Unbreakable.
That's non-mainstream.
Sort of, yeah?
Yeah.
I liked that movie
when I first saw it.
And now I think it's shitty.
Why? Have you seen it again shitty how did it get shitty?
it got shitty over the years because you can't handle how slow it is
I got smarter
and less on heroin while I was watching
and then it became shitty
no I don't think
I like Iron Man, I love the Avengers
I thought that was a blast
that's it, that's I'm done what do you think Jay? I like Iron Man. I love the Avengers. I thought that was a blast. And, well, that's it.
That's I'm done.
What do you think, Jay?
I like the Batman with Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson.
Really?
Yeah.
Because I like Jack Palance.
He shoots the cards at Jack Nicholson.
He goes, don't forget your lucky deck.
That's a good part?
I love it.
He didn't want him to forget his lucky deck.
Don't forget
your lucky deck.
I hate that movie.
The first Batman I hate
because it's really
first of all it's really really boring. really, I have, first of all, it's really, really boring.
Secondly, I know people like Michael Keaton.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
He's your lucky deck.
Yeah, except for that part.
Don't forget it.
I'm Regis Philbin now.
Secondly, I don't like Michael Keaton.
Like, Batman's supposed to beat you up.
Michael Keaton's like a little, like, half pudgy dude.
I don't care how many muscles they put on his costume.
It doesn't work.
He can't move his neck.
But worst of all, worst of all
is this. Here's the thing.
He's got an inch on you though.
The important thing about Batman. I'm just saying.
The important thing about
Batman is that he's got
this unquenchable thirst to take,
you know, to have vengeance because somebody
killed his parents. And he's got this bottomless
pit inside of himself
that he can never do that.
And in fucking Batman,
Tim Burton doesn't understand the fucking character,
so he has the Joker be the guy that killed his parents,
thereby ruining Batman forever.
So I hate it.
It's as bad as when Superman had a kid with Lois Lane.
I'm a comical geek.
Like, straight up hardcore.
Get a load of this nerd.
Yeah.
Are you also still mad that when you ordered
x-ray specs out of the back of the comic
that you couldn't see through women's clothes?
I did.
It was a flying bat that I got.
I bought a flying bat out of the back of the comic.
Oh, the fucking flying bat.
And you know what it was?
I thought it was a little...
Like, I had this picture in my head
like I was going to get... It was in the back of the thought it was a little, like I had this picture in my head like I was going to get,
it was in the back
of the comics
and the ads
and I had this picture
in my head
that it was going to be
this amazing mechanized
flying bat
that was going to fly
around my room.
I had no friends
and this was the closest
thing I was going to have
and instead it was like
a little,
it was this tiny,
like two inches across
on a little string,
a little rubber bat
painted on red eyes that were like, not even on his little string, a little rubber bat painted on red eyes
that were not even on his eyes.
They were like this.
The eyes.
And that was what the flying bat was.
And I already had one of those bats.
It was way bigger and cooler.
And it didn't make a very good friend.
Don't forget your flying bat!
Well, that was interesting, all that that just happened.
Going back to the very beginning of it,
I thought that that Batman was great at the time.
Like, you know, when I saw it, when it came out,
I thought it was great,
but I think that it probably doesn't hold up
because, what did you say, boring as fuck?
It's really boring.
It's kind of slow.
I had to do a thing for EW a couple years
where I had to write about all the different superhero movies,
and I went back and re-watched all those movies.
And some of them have...
Like Superman, the first Superman movie,
which I liked way more than Batman.
I loved that movie as a kid.
And there's still a lot of great things in it.
But man, it has like...
There's fucking parts where Ned Beatty's walking around
and the music's like...
And the flying
sequence with Lois Lane, where
Lois Lane is reading poetry
about her love for Superman.
Yeah, save that for a fucking coffee shop.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so dumb.
You must be
one of the real, real, real haters
of when Tobey Maguire does a dance number in Spider-Man 3.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not too fond of that scene.
But I do like Spider-Man 2 quite a bit, actually.
Spider-Man 2 is up there, I think, also.
That's one of my more favorite superhero movies.
And I like The Last X-Men.
I'm not a total purist.
X-Men First Class takes a lot of, you know,
they change the characters around a lot.
But I still thought it was a good movie, so I got into it.
It's the best movie where a couple of men can get together
on the steps of the Lincoln Monument
and play chess with no one else around.
Like, as casual as can be, this is where we play chess.
Yeah, because every other movie that has that in there sucks.
What about Jay?
How do you feel about superheroes?
You know,
I just am a little over
superheroed right now. Maybe
this is the time.
Yeah, come on out. Neil Brennan, everybody.
Thank you.
Did someone say superhero? No.
You are dressed like
Bruce Willis in Unbreakable.
He had a hoodie on.
So, yeah, we're talking superheroes.
I'm a little over superheroes.
You're sick of it.
I love that Iron Man,
but I wasn't as big a fan
of 2. I just can't get
myself to go watch all these
superhero movies anymore, which I know is most of the
movies.
I had the thought that if they made The Godfather
today, he would be wearing
he'd have a big G on his chest.
Like Black Spandex.
Cannoli Mobile
you guys
this thing writes itself
he came out hot
he came out hot
I like that
a gold crest of some type
on his head
like one of the
Asgardian dudes
yeah
I like it
so what
I like
it probably at home
it probably sounds like
he's saying that
if that's a bad thing
but looking at you
you sound excited about it
my godfather? yeah it would be like he's saying that as a bad thing but looking at you, you sound excited about it. My godfather?
Yeah, it would be like the better godfather.
No, I like the original.
This might be the first show I've ever done
of Douglas movies
where all three guests have the same product
in their hair. Ha!
That was horrifying.
That was the worst moment of my life right there.
I'm from Chicago. When you two came out, it looked like you got shirts the same color
and the jeans.
We called each other. We wanted to be twins.
It's cool. We direct we direct movies yeah what we
should look like he's got more different kind of shoes so I'm blushing so Neil
thank you for getting here when you did because holy shit how much did I know
this thing was going in the dumper.
No, I'm just kidding.
You missed about 25 minutes.
Did I legitimately 20 minutes?
22 minutes, maybe.
Was there a lot of traffic out there?
Yeah, I took...
Which way?
Yeah, where did you come?
Yeah.
What road did you come on?
You know what was great?
I really drove...
I drove a great drive. You know what I mean? I really drove a great drive.
You know what I mean?
I took the side streets from Venice.
Alright.
And it took me like an hour and ten minutes.
But it was like
I fucking did all the...
You were moving the whole time. I did it right.
Cutting through gas stations.
You couldn't have done no better.
It was just a good drive.
I stand by what I've done.
That means you left Venice
at 7 o'clock for the
7.15 call time.
Call time? I like the sound of that.
No, no, no.
I didn't get a call time.
That's production stuff.
Did you bring something for me to give away?
No.
I was going to text you and say
should I bring something
Sign this shirt.
I didn't know
because I didn't know
but I didn't want you to be like
no, I don't fucking bring you fucking egomaniac.
But a signed beer fest script
is pretty good.
Yeah, yeah. Whoever wins is going to be sitting pretty. but a signed beer fest script is pretty good pretty good stuff yeah yeah
so there
whoever wins
is gonna be
sitting pretty
so yeah
so this is
this is the point
of the show
where I normally ask
does anyone hunger
for games
and that happens
did you get a chance
to listen to the show
Jay
I did
you did
yeah
so does the Leonard Mullen game make sense to you?
Because we're going to try to play it.
Okay.
We'll see what happens.
I'm bad at it.
Thank you for signing that, Neil.
And as always, Neil, I always have to ask you,
you directed The Goods.
What is it like working with T.J. Miller?
It's everything you'd think.
It would be.
Look, he's a real funny kid.
You had, like,
such a mean answer the last time.
That's why I asked you again.
I know, but I can't...
You want the same answer?
Yeah.
Literally, I told him,
TJ, you have a giant face,
and you have to play defense
against your own face.
See, that's all I wanted to hear.
It makes me feel good to hear that.
He's very funny in it.
Does he have a giant face?
He does.
Yeah.
And it's expressive.
It's hugely expressive.
And a lot of noise comes out of it.
Yeah.
It's like expressive. And a lot of noise comes out of it. Yeah.
He's like a human cartoon.
They put him in the
Yogi Bear picture, for God's sake.
I mean, I say nothing.
With those other human cartoons.
No further questions.
And Tom Cavanaugh.
Okay, so
you guys need to pick, let's see the name tags
you guys brought for tonight Let's see the name tags you guys brought
For tonight
And each of you please get up from your seats
And physically select the name tag
You would like to play for
Yeah, we're already at that part
So
Just pick somebody you want to play for
We got a gentleman
Is your name tag?
Your initials are tag.
Okay.
TAG, you wrote that on a thing.
Woody wrote that on an envelope.
Jordan's got his baseball, but he's very low-key about it.
He doesn't force it on anybody.
It's funny.
In Baltimore, everybody had something.
Yeah, in Baltimore, name tags are bigger.
In L.A., people are kind of like, I've got to stand in Baltimore, everybody had something. Yeah, in Baltimore, name tags are bigger. In LA, people are kind of like,
I've got to stand in line out on the street.
I'm not going to stand around with part of a tuba or a
fucking flask or a box of candy.
You guys all pick things.
So Jay has a box of Whoppers
that has a post-it on it
that says Jolene.
So that's very...
Yay!
So that's very clever of Jolene to have done that.
Are you a Whoppers
lover? No, I'm a fan
of the Dolly Parton song,
Jolene. Oh, okay.
I did say
pick one that speaks to you.
And then you've got part of a trombone?
Part of a trombone.
Most of a trombone, I guess.
Yeah.
And it says the guy's name on it.
It says Damon on it.
It says Damon.
Yeah.
And I'm a fan of the Omen, so.
And Satan.
But, oh, so you just look for the name that's closest to Damien?
Closest to Damien, yeah.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And Neil got a flask.
Got a flask named Vivian.
Vivian's flask.
The woman's name is Vivian,
and I picked the flask because my father is an alcoholic.
You guys really put more thought into it
than any of the previous guests.
And what's in it, Vivian?
Whiskey.
Whiskey? For reals in it?
Can we all have some?
Pass it down.
Fucking kidding me?
I mean, you guys don't have to.
I don't know what your standing is on alcohol.
I think James drinks.
I don't. You don't? No.. I think James drinks. I don't.
You don't?
No.
Not at all?
No.
You didn't drink at that party I went to at your house that one time?
Shh, shh.
No, I didn't.
I didn't.
I didn't drink.
Because you seem pretty cool when I shit in the bathtub.
That's my thing.
That's my thing, dude.
That's why I kept egging you on.
What about you?
Did you use this sort of thing?
I have a couple things.
A couple?
Slow down.
Oh, shit.
I'm going to not
because alcohol ruined my childhood. All right, you guys, let's play.
All right.
So just to give Jay a fighting chance,
we'll let him...
Oh, I just got a text from Neil saying,
hoping to be there in five,
and then another one that says two minutes.
I was going to put another one that said
start my intro.
Okay.
So we'll start with James, because he's
the most veteran of
this program.
And then we'll go to
Neil and then over to
Jay and
we'll see what happens.
James gets to pick a category.
Would you like
at Bernie Mac, spelled differently,
B-E-R-N-E-Y Mac,
on Twitter, suggested
Lord of the Rings, which is
films that have something to do with the
Olympics.
Lord of the Rings, Olympic Games.
Or celebrating a birthday today,
great actor Donald Sutherland.
So the films of Donald Sutherland.
Or at Ty Costill, C-O-S-T-I-L-L,
suggested Moonrise Condom
which is films where people have sex in space.
Nice going tie.
Let's go for Donald Sutherland.
Okay.
This movie features Donald Sutherland and it's from 1992.
Leonard gives it two and a half stars.
He calls it cute
and he also says that Ricky Lake appears unbilled. Leonard gives it two and a half stars. He calls it cute.
And he also says that Ricky Lake appears unbilled.
Wait, what year?
So this movie is cute.
It's from 1992.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
Donald Sutherland is in it.
And Ricky Lake appears unbilled.
And then Leonard lists
12 names.
So how many names do you think you can get it in?
Ricky Lake.
Chiz Gunn.
1992.
Donald Sutherland.
That's not a...
People in the audience have some ideas?
You chose that category.
I did, but I was hoping for an earlier
time.
An older one?
He wanted mash. You were hoping for an earlier time. An older one? He wanted mash.
What?
That's what he wanted.
You were like, an older one like mash or ordinary people?
Now you're naming them all off.
Beer Fest.
Ordinary people is like...
That's right.
You're naming them all off?
Was he in Beer Fest?
Yeah, in the opening.
Oh.
That's my guess.
Beer Fest.
No, I don't...
So how many names? You can bid all 12 names if you want. I'm going's my guess. Beer Fest. No. I don't.
So how many names?
You can bid all 12 names if you want.
I'm going to say 11 names.
11.
Okay.
So then we go to Neil.
10.
Okay.
Fair enough.
Seven.
Nice bid, James.
You can either tell him to name it or you can go lower.
Name it. Name it.
Name it.
All right.
Here's your seven names.
Natasha Gregson Wagner.
That's three names.
Candy Clark.
Randall Battenkoff. David Arquette.
Paris Vaughn.
That's five. Hillary Swank.
Michelle Abrams.
And
you get eight names?
Seven?
That was probably it, right?
That was seven, yeah.
A League of Our Own.
Interesting.
Why?
I have no idea
and I feel like
that was another movie
with a lot of people in it.
And Donald Sutherland
as the narrator.
It was a great group of girls.
That was one of those years where Donald Sutherland
was using the name Penny Marshall, I think.
The next name that I almost accidentally said
kind of gives it away, I think, maybe.
Luke Perry?
Rutger Hauer?
Paul Rubens?
People behind me are saying it it Donald Sutherland and Kelly
I mean Christy Swanson
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
So James gets a point
For taking the pussy way out
That's right
That's right
He gets a pussy point
I'll take a pussy point.
All right, take it.
Take it.
Take it.
And this time we'll start with Neil
and then move in the other direction
back to James.
And Neil gets to pick
between the following categories.
Would you like yuck?
That's Y-U-C-C-C-H-H-H-H.
And that is an actual word.
It's an actual quote from Leonard Maltin's review
of a movie.
No one ever picks that category
because plenty of movies are yucky.
And then five-word review.
This is where someone, or Leonard specifically,
gave a review of just five words
to a movie.
So that'll be the movie in that case.
Or, let's give one with some
options.
This category is called Leonard Part 6.
And I have listed in this
phone six movies based on
the works of Elmore Leonard.
Yeah.
And some of them are pretty damn good.
My favorite being TV Show Justified.
Sure.
Of course you can pick that one.
But just real quick, five word review.
Let's see if anybody recognizes this.
The review was, it is what it is.
And it was from 2004.
Leonard gave it two stars.
Is it a league of our own?
Yes. Also,
aka Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed.
I had a feeling it was
a sequel.
That would have been funny.
Which is, and what it is is a masterpiece, correct?
It's just been, that's been loaded into my phone for forever,
and I just realized that it would be funny to spring that one on you.
Thanks for bringing that up.
You're welcome.
Thanks for bringing that up.
Remember that time your dad raped you?
No, because I'm not into recovered memories.
Two stars out of how many?
Out of four.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good to say it is what it is and then give it two stars.
That's pretty much saying that, you know, it is what it is.
It's fair.
Yeah.
Sure.
That was actually the most fun
I ever had
making a movie
was that movie
so it kind of
goes along
with the whole thing
about the more fun
you have making a movie
the worse it comes out
but yeah
I would have fun
hanging out with
four people
dressed as those
characters
all day
for five months
we were in Vancouver
doing nothing
both of those girls
are cute
yep
Matthew Lillard's
always got something
to say
funny guy
nice guy.
Seth Green was in it. Peter Boyle.
Hang out with me. It was great. Peter Boyle?
You fucking killed him on that movie.
We hung out a lot on that movie. He was a great guy.
He was a great man. Pick from one of these
years, Neil.
1957, 1974.
These are all Elmore Leonard adaptations.
1985,
2004, 2005, or 2007?
That's Leonard part six. Go 2004.
2004, right up in the middle there.
Two stars from Leonard for this movie
that's based on Elmore Leonard something.
He says it's about a ne'er-do-well,
which is a fun expression
to throw around.
And he also says that
four of the supporting actors
are wasted in throwaway
roles.
But the movie's got good
vibes
that drain away.
And he lists
nine names.
So how many do you think you can name this movie in?
Three.
Neil Brennan says three names.
That's a sane bid.
We'll go to James.
Talking to your microphone, sir.
That's rough.
I'm more concerned with winning
than amusing your fucking audience.
That was pretty clear with Scooby-Doo 2.
Okay.
Not for my audience.
That's not that bad of a thing to say.
So that, you know...
Did you try to write in a scene
where you see Shaggy getting high on weed?
We had all that stuff in the first...
Our first cut of the first Scooby-Doo movie
was rated R.
It's not a lie.
That's totally true.
Can't you get that out there somehow?
No, I don't think so.
They CGI'd in the girls' cleavage
throughout the whole movie.
It started out as more of an Austin Powers type movie.
So it was like PG-13 aimed at teens.
And then the studio freaked out
halfway through making the movie.
Anyway, that's not important.
What's more important is...
Three names.
You got to go less or say name it.
I'm going to say name it.
All right.
So if he fails to name it, then James will be our winner.
And if he names it, we'll move on to another round.
Do you want the clues again, Neil?
No.
I need those names.
You need the names?
You need the Glenn Gary leads?
Yeah.
Okay. Your three names I think they're very helpful names are Harry Dean Stanton Charlie
Sheen and BB Newworth in an adaptation of a of a Elmore Leonard I'm gonna go with Be Cool
The Big Bounce
yeah
with Vinnie Jones
Willie Nelson
Sarah Foster
Gary Sinise
Morgan Freeman
and Owen Wilson
yeah that's a tough one
that's tough
but you know
Be Cool was definitely
one of the other options
but that was from 2005
a year later a year later so James is our winner everybody But you know be cool was definitely one of the other options, but that was from 2005 yeah
Yeah later. Yeah later, so James is our winner everybody
So Damon where's Damon at come and get your your prizes you know and you're up to well oh
Pussy points enjoy this highbrow comedy You're up 2-0? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Two pussy points.
Enjoy this highbrow comedy.
Oh, he's going to personalize it.
I love it.
Write Damien just because that would be a funny callback.
There's your poster.
I liked how you scooped that up.
I'm getting all this shit.
I don't care if it's in the bag or not.
Do you want some Whoppers?
You hungry?
You want to hit some whiskey out of a flask?
What did you write?
I played ping pong and ding dang.
Oh.
Which characters you were.
I like it.
Jolene, do you want to come up here?
And Jolene gets a runner's up prize
of getting to make me name
somebody a shithead so let me give her
a pen to just write that
down on that piece of paper and
who does the flask belong to
oh it's on the back don't read it out loud
don't yeah just pass it down
to me I wanted it
again anyway
oh my god
what does that say pen is the first part okay I got it again anyway. Oh my god, what does that say?
Pen? Pen is the first part?
Okay, I got it, I got it, I got it.
Alright.
Okay.
Interesting.
Alright, so
you guys got anything
to plug? Neil, you got any
of your stand-up comedy dates coming up?
Podcast,
The Champs.
I'll be in Atlanta next month.
Eh?
Eh?
Eh?
People love a vague plug.
I'll be in Montreal next week,
and then I'll be at the Laughing Skull in Atlanta.
Awesome.
Yeah.
All right, look for him there.
Look for me.
I love the Laughing Skull. It's a very intimate, fun place to see people. Awesome. Look for him there. I love Laughing Skull.
It's a very intimate, fun place to see people.
James Gunn has a game he's tired of talking about.
Yeah, but you can go buy it.
Lollipop Chainsaw.
Go buy Lollipop Chainsaw.
And you got anything in the works that you can tell us about?
Any projects or anything?
I do.
Super 2?
I can't.
Super 2.
No, I can't talk about anything.
I am getting in this.
If people want to go yell at this Raelian that's yelling at me on Twitter, I'd love it.
You know Raelians?
You know those guys?
They're like a cult.
And I went with my ex-girlfriend, and we infiltrated their cult a couple years ago, and I wrote a blog about it online, and now Raelians are attacking me on Twitter.
I really just, I don't
care. Instead of buying Lollipop
Chainsaw, just like look at
the people that are yelling me on Twitter who are Raelians
and just make fun of them. Was that that
Heaven's Gate thing? That's the guys
that said they cloned
a baby about 10 years
ago. Yeah.
And I went to their, yeah it's like a sex cult.
And I got laid zero times
but what can they say on Twitter
how can they attack you
just for example
I'll write something for someone
you can go on there and say
hey at Raelian fuck you
like that kind of thing
shut up
what did Raelian say to you
how are they attacking you they're mad That kind of thing. Or, you know, shut up. No, I'm saying, what did Raelians say to you?
How are they attacking you?
What are they... I don't know.
They're mad.
This just happened like a half hour ago.
I know.
I was seeing it on my feed.
And I was like, this confuses me.
Because I don't know what Raelians are.
He was saying I was a liar.
But I didn't lie.
I wrote a blog with all the truth.
Oh, okay.
So you're saying that your blog was a lie
that you wrote how many years ago?
You know, a year ago.
Okay.
Yeah, but for some reason
they've all gotten onto it now.
They just signed up on Twitter.
Well, no, no.
Lately, somehow it must have gone into some,
you know, Raelian feed lately
and now they're talking about it all the time.
So I'm getting a lot of shit from Raelians.
They're a bunch of monkeys.
My favorite thing about Raelians
is if you try to type it into Google
and find out more about them, chances are you're not
even going to be able to spell it close enough to
find them. It's spelled really
fucked up. It's R-A-E-L-I-A-N-S.
That's not a word.
And Jay,
remind me again
August
August 3rd
baby makers
and I'm doing
your podcast
yeah I heard that
so plug that too
first of all
congratulations
thank you
you're gonna be
you're gonna be
on the champs
yeah
I heard
one thing I heard
about that show
is that everyone
gets there on time
and that they tape it in
Venice, Italy.
So good luck.
That's actually,
you know that's not true
because we only have black guests.
They can't laugh at that now.
Wait, wait, he's black enough?
Is that what you're saying?
I don't, yeah.
You were on the fence.
We don't have, we have non-white guests.
Oh, okay. That's fair.
But mostly predominantly black.
Alright.
And you're directing
the Arrested Development movie,
so congratulations on that.
Thank you.
You just made it, so I have no chance of doing that.
You think?
Yeah.
I don't think anybody there... This podcast is more for the fans than for...
I don't think Ron Howard or who would make that decision.
Who would make that?
Mitch would make that decision?
He's going to direct it himself.
He is.
He should. I don't think so. He's earned it. You know what I
mean? Let him have it. Throw him a bone. I'm going to be at Helium in Portland, Oregon
on July 25th. The Improv in Pittsburgh, July 28th and 29th at 420. Hilarities in Cleveland
on Thursday, August 2nd at 945. The Funny Bone in Toledo, Ohio on the 4th and 29th at 420. Hilarities in Cleveland on Thursday, August 2nd at 945.
The Funny Bone in Toledo, Ohio on the 4th and 5th of August at 420.
And thank you to my guests.
Weren't they great?
Neil Brennan, James Gunn, and Jay Chanduskan.
Did I say that right?
Is it Gunn?
It was Gunn?
I was very, very late.
Are we done?
We're done.
We're done?
That's it, yeah.
I was so late.
Yeah.
I'm just going to say the last thing, which is, as always,
Will Pendarvis III is a shithead.
Okay?
And Shit Romney is a shithead. Okay. And Shit Romney is a shithead.