Doug Loves Movies - Jeff Dye, Geoff Tate and Adrian Cosby guest
Episode Date: August 14, 2017Live from the Funny Bone in Columbus, OH, Doug welcomes Jeff Dye, Geoff Tate and Adrian Cosby to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at http...s://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey guys, Producer Ryan here.
At the top of this episode, Doug mentions that the Cincinnati show he recorded on Saturday
will be available soon as a bonus episode to Stitcher Premium users.
Unfortunately, that recording got screwed up, so now nobody gets to hear it.
Apologies to Stitcher Premium listeners, and we'll get you another bonus episode soon.
To everybody else, enjoy the show!
Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds
with 50 acid popper kernels
in his teeth.
There's still not one
that he won't see
because Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again from the bone,
the funny bone in Columbus, Ohio!
The Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio! Oh!
It's Sunday, August 13th, 2017.
This is our 53rd show this year.
The 52nd show that we taped in Cincinnati yesterday
will be available exclusively on Stitcher Premium,
which is also the home of the entire
Douglas Movies Library, nine seasons of shows
you can listen to if you have Stitcher Premium.
But right here and right now,
I need to see some name tags.
You never disappoint, Columbus.
Why are they so big here?
Why is no one in the front seats have one?
That is bizarre.
You guys, you're like, we got to get there early.
Fuck the name tags.
We'll be up front in front of all those dumb name tags.
Holy shit, there's so many of them.
Mike to the Future, of course, is a great one.
This is a Budapest hotel, but what'd you change it to?
Dan Budapest Hotel?
Instead of Grand Buda, I get it now.
Dungerk instead of Dunkirk?
What's your name?
Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Did we go through this before already, you and me?
No.
No? Okay.
It sounds very familiar.
The girl...
What? Dragon Tet? With the dragon tat? The girl... What dragon...
With the dragon...
The girl with the dragon Tate 2.
The dragon Tate 2?
Like, what's your name?
Your name is Tate?
Is your first name Tate?
No way.
What's that?
Is that short for Tatum? It's just Tate? What's your name, Tate? No way. Is it, what's that? Is that short for Tatum?
It's just Tate?
What's your last name?
Smith.
I guess, you know, if your parents,
your parents are pretty cool to dress up Smith
with a fucking weird ass first name.
I thought you thought that Jeff Tate
was gonna be a guest today.
That's why you put Tate on your name tag.
But your name is Tate. That's crazy.
And I can
see a Shawshank Redemption thing back
there.
Shawshank Redemption.
Very good.
So there's a lot.
I'm glad there's no name tags in the balcony
because we're not going up there.
But thank you to everybody for bringing a name tag
and good luck during the selection process.
I don't tell my guests which name tags to pick.
It's entirely up to them and their weird whims.
From the corrections department,
Brad William Henke is from
Split and Eric Edelstein
is from Green Room.
Two different dudes
playing two different creeps.
Doug plugs
Tuesday night, Douglas
Movies is back at UCB Franklin
in Los Angeles.
Next Saturday we're at
the Tacoma Comedy Club
in Tacoma, Washington at 420.
And Douglas Movies is back at
Talia Hall near Chicago
on Wednesday, August
23rd. Let's look
in the prize bag, you guys. You can see I brought
a lovely hotel room laundry
bag. And it's full of
some pretty sweet stuff.
I read it, so it's time to pass it on
because just hanging on to books,
I just don't get it anymore.
But I think you'll enjoy reading
the book called Mustache Shenanigans
by a guest occasionally on the show,
Jay Chandrasekhar.
It's got somebody's long hair in it.
Maybe that's what
I was using as a bookmark at the time.
And also inside of it
I have three blue cards
all signed by me. It's kind of a
redundant gift for the prize
bag, but I forgot to give two of them
away in Cincinnati.
So
I've got three of them. Or you know what? I'm gonna just do this give two of them away in Cincinnati so so I've got three
of them or you know what I'm gonna just do this with two of them all right there
we go so I gave away two of them but one of them's going in the prize bag. And then we got a copy of one of my CDs.
All three sizes of Peacemaker pipes.
None of them used.
Yeah, because I drove here from the last city,
so I didn't have to give it away yet.
And I don't know, maybe the best thing in the bag,
have you guys tried this
Neutrogena
body lotion?
It's pretty sweet
stuff. I almost want
to keep it, but I think I
can get another one off of the cart as I
walk by to my room.
Let's bring my guests out here,
because they brought stuff too.
Please give a big warm welcome to
Adrian Cosby, Jeff Dye, and Jeff Tate. Hey, how's it going?
Oh, nice to see you.
Don't forget to use your microphone voice.
That was just for you.
That was just us?
It was just for you.
There's a little something between us before we
really get into it.
Let's meet these guys
individually,
starting with
first-time guest,
it's Adrian Cosby,
everybody.
You call this
your hometown club?
This is my new
hometown club.
I'm originally from Yellow Springs, Ohio, which is...
Okay, we got some potheads here. Cool.
And, um...
But I moved here about a year ago,
and this is my biggest W9 last year, so...
Whether they like it or not!
Oh, okay, that's how it works?
I think so.
All right.
So Cosby, huh? Still going with that?
Have you thought about changing your last name to, like, BTK Killer?
How about this? Adrian Wayne Gacy.
Does that sound good?
I feel like I need to ride this wave a little bit more. My stock's never been higher than the original Cosby,
and right now, my bookings are surpassing his, I feel like.
Yeah, I'd say you're one of the better Cosbys out there.
Yeah.
One of the more preferred Cosbys.
I'm glad you said it.
When I say it, people call me conceited.
Do you sit down in a big chair
and talk about going to the dentist?
You should just steal his shit.
He already ruined your name.
Don't take the chocolate cake thing.
I've been doing that for about six months now.
Don't take that, the chocolate cake thing.
The chocolate cake for breakfast, yeah.
I stole a lot of the early Cosby stuff.
You can have the later stuff.
I'm into taking handfuls of pills, butby stuff. You can have the later stuff. I'm into
taking handfuls of pills, but I'm
not into giving them away to people.
That's where he's
less selfish than you.
He's a giver.
He's a giver.
Also joining us for the first
time in a while, I think the last
time, I'm guessing the last time you were on was in Seattle, maybe?
It's Jeff Dye, everybody.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, we did the show, I think it was at, maybe you were at Bellevue?
Was it the Parlor?
The Parlor Live? Yeah, and then we did one in some town. I don't remember what it was some kind of
Convention or something oh really yeah
My life's a blur travel, so we're guessing. This is your third time on the show I think it's your third or fourth okay all right. And you're headlining here at the Funny Bone all weekend long.
I'm here tonight.
Which ends tonight.
Yes, one more show tonight.
Who's coming back to see Jeff tonight?
Come on, you can lie.
It's all right.
Just for my ego.
Oh, wow.
Most of them.
All of them, yeah.
It feels like it's going to be a sit-in.
Like they're just going to refuse to leave.
Just be kind, you know?
Just say, oh, yeah, we'd love to see you, Jeff.
Yeah, usually there's a few people that when you ask a question like that, they woo just
because, oh, here's my chance.
Yeah, yeah.
But that was eerily quiet.
So somebody come back to see Jeff tonight.
Very fragile.
I didn't want that silence of like, eh, no, we'll kind of just be here for this.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, maybe that could be one of your contributions to the prize bag is you could give two free tickets. Yeah, I'll give away 300 free tickets. Oh, yeah. Well, maybe that could be one of your contributions to the prize bag, is you could give two free tickets.
Yeah, I'll give away 300 free tickets.
Oh, wait.
To the Sunday show.
Take that balcony.
Right, run that by management before you make that offer.
How many people would take him up on it?
Just lie again.
But for that show, there'll be a six-item minimum. Just lie again. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
But for that show,
there'll be a six-item minimum.
Yeah, exactly.
That's how they get you.
But thanks for being here,
and also thanks to...
He was just on the show yesterday,
and then we drove here today,
and we made a mini about it that you can listen to
on the latest episode of Doug Loves Minis.
It's Jeff Tate!
Yeah.
Hey, everybody.
What's up, Columbus?
You might remember me from that
hilarious Cosby riff earlier.
I remember that.
That's good.
I was there. I was there.
I keep looking at Adrian and wondering, like,
if, you know, the food was so good
that you were like,
I'm going to take some home with me
and I'm going to hang on to it on stage
during the entire show.
I grew up poor and I protect my food.
I protect my...
Did you put, Is your prize contribution
inside a Styrofoam to-go container?
That is very astute
if you dug it is.
Let me...
Tell us what you got.
All right.
I brought...
Whoa.
I found...
Oh, you can't eat that, dude.
No, no, no.
Not until the apocalypse,
but then it'll be delicious.
I brought a bunch of CDs
from comedians I've worked with
that didn't sign them.
If you sign it, I'm going to keep it, but if you don't...
So I got a Des White CD.
He's a Texas comedian.
I have The Beards of Comedy, which is actually really good.
Highly produced.
CD still in the cellophane.
I have Brett Ernst,
a man who's never met a sentence
he didn't want to hear out of his own mouth.
And I got Josh Sneed, Cincinnati comic.
He signed that one.
He did sign, but he signed one to me.
You want to hold on to that?
No, no.
I have a limited edition
Jeff Tate Use Your Delusion CD right here.
And he did sign it,
but I never could understand what you wrote on the inside,
so maybe you can tell me what that says.
Yeah, no, I don't know.
But that's you.
That's going to a lucky
guest today. And then a door guy
gave me a shitty rap album.
Kill the world.
Good luck.
All right.
All of that cleverly hidden
In a to-go container
That's really
There's some sauce in there
I like that
Very good
Jeff, what do you got?
Oh, I got some good stuff
No, Jeff I'm talking to
You tricked me
Yeah, no, either Jeff is fine
I'll let Tate go
All right
Go, Tate, go
This is my Gatorade
That's your own Gatorade
Hang on to that Personal use Gatorade hang on to that
Personal use Gatorade
I have a bag
You get the bag
And I have the Fate of the Furious
On Blu-ray
On Blu-ray
I mean I don't know
What's with the fucking tepid response
But
Whatever I got this one because it was on sale
and I already have
the digital version
so this is just
the hard copy.
I took the digital out
and you get the trash.
And this is Zombieland
and it's on DVD
and it's a good movie.
And a free bag.
There we go.
That's a good deal.
Yeah.
Those prizes were pretty lackluster.
Hey.
I feel like I one-upped them.
My prize cost money.
Well, part of it did.
Well, yeah, the first part did, And the first part's just my CD.
Oh.
And then the other one is a Lego.
And it's brand new.
I just bought it.
And it's of your guys' favorite leader, Doug Benson.
My favorite.
He's not really a leader.
I mean, I guess he is.
No, you're the leader
I'm the leader
They love you
Oh okay
I'm not their leader
So I had Doug
Sign it
So it's autographed by him
And then you can open it
And play with it
So it's not just cool today
But also tomorrow
When you build stuff
It's good
I don't care for this 8 to 14 years old on the front.
I don't like that either.
Like, if you're 15, you shouldn't be fucking around with...
Yeah, like, when I read books, it'll say, like, reading level 4.
You're like, not for me, you know?
Wow, it's a Bane toxic truck attack.
Remember when you did that?
I remember being the voice,
but I never got to really attack anyone with toxins.
Sounds really evil.
Maybe the truck was toxic,
and you were just regular.
Maybe the truck...
Never mind.
What else did you bring for the bag check?
Also, two tickets.
They're invisible.
There's two tickets to tonight's show in there
if you want to come.
That's part of the deal.
What about the cards?
It'll be free.
Oh, these, I was,
these are just, I'm just holding them.
I was holding them back there
and then he said come up here,
so I just kept holding them. Oh yeah, they're baseball, and then they said, come up here, so I just kept holding them.
Oh, yeah, they're baseball cards you bought?
Football cards.
Oh, football.
You could spare one of those, right?
Yeah, I mean, but these are mine.
I kind of already gave stuff.
No, but, like, which one could you get rid of?
Oh, the punter, for sure.
Okay.
So the Jim Arnold card,
this will be their ticket to get in tonight.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's actually a great idea.
In that case...
Spread the word.
Sorry if I hit that guy real hard with one.
But it is a football card. I mean...
Can't hurt you that bad.
Oh, you probably got a concussion.
That one man got, like, 12 tickets to my show.
It was supposed to be like when you see rappers do that on girls.
I've never seen a rapper throw football cards at girls before.
When I do it, that's how I'm like,
yeah, you guys don't like football cards.
If she don't like football cards,
I don't want her to be my dancer.
She's got to like what I like.
That's my type of lady.
Dancer, you won't even hire her.
That's right.
She can't party.
All right, so all of that's gonna be won by some lucky individual here today who has to be between the ages of 8 and 14.
It's like I'm getting on a plane you gotta get this down to one bag but it's
gonna be two. We're gonna settle for two and I got a question a
couple of questions that I ask all my guests on every show lately starting
with we'll start with Jeff Tate and the question is thank God for last names I
didn't think that you would have seen one between the last time I saw you and now Jeff Tate,
but what was the last movie you saw?
Well, I mean, it's still Atomic Blonde.
I haven't seen another one since Atomic Blonde.
All right, let's talk about
our experience with that some more.
It's great.
She beats up dudes.
It's fucking great.
She's good at using things around the room
to beat up dudes with. Yeah. Yeah, she uses a lot of props. She's good at using things around the room to beat up dudes with.
She uses a lot of props.
She's really pretty. And she's super pretty.
If you like
bruises from head to toe.
She starts the movie
very bruised and then it's a flashback all the way
up to when she got bruised.
The whole time you're like, when are these bruises
coming?
This is not going to be good.
We're getting stuck on one part.
I don't want to, like, that's not why I liked it.
Because of the bruises?
That's not the only reason he liked it.
Adrian, what was the last movie you saw?
Right here at the Easton Mall.
I saw War for the Planet of the Apes.
Alright.
I heard you guys talking about it on this show
and I was conflicted
because I felt like it was
amazing
but also
like you said, I had a hard time getting involved
with what they were doing, fighting for.
It wasn't, I was emotionally
attached, cried twice.
But I couldn't help but think like,
what if like our president had to watch this movie?
I felt like the whole time he would be consumed with like,
what am I supposed to be rooting for the apes?
I'm rooting for the humans.
And I felt like if, who's, what was that?
Yeah.
That was his impression of what if,
what if Trump sounded like Obama.
I'm biracial.
I can't really lose that part of it.
It stays with me.
Everything I say.
Oh, man, I want to be in whatever
world you're in where Obama's still president.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, okay. in whatever world you're in where Obama's still president. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I was just saying earlier that, like,
the whole eight years
Obama was president,
I never thought,
I wonder if we're gonna get nuked today.
You know, it always felt like
he was handling it
quietly and with dignity
instead of just yelling at people
that could go nuts and just murder.
It's been a long time since we've had a real
no, fuck you, president.
Like, this is what we have now.
We have the no, fuck you.
We've had one of those in the past.
Oh, sure.
Was it Warren G. Harding?
Teddy Roosevelt, for sure. Lyndon Johnson probably said it just around the house.
You know Teddy Roosevelt hunted Bigfoot?
That's true.
While he was in office, he left two times to go hunt Bigfoot.
That's true.
It's real cool because he was like a big hunter, like killing animals and shit.
And so when Bigfoot mania was going on, they were like, hey, you should be the first guy to kill that. And he was like, I hunter, like killing animals and shit. And so he, when Bigfoot Mania was going on,
they were like, hey, you should be the first guy
to kill that.
And he was like, fucking, I'll see you in a week.
And he did it twice while in office.
That's why he's my favorite president.
All the time.
So my whole life, I always thought the government
like knew a bunch of stuff we didn't.
And maybe, you know, the Kennedy and all that,
like all of this shit where there's like a
shadow.
It seems very clear that there is no shadow government.
There is nobody behind the scenes.
They didn't even know about Bigfoot.
Like if one person, if the fucking president still thinks Bigfoot's real, then the government
doesn't know a goddamn thing.
No, Bigfoot's real though.
That's fucked up, man.
It's just a monkey that lives in the woods.
I don't know why everybody...
But why is he...
He's saying it.
He just walks out.
He's a bipedal hominid.
So when Teddy Roosevelt...
Does he just eat plants?
No, man, he eats fish and berries.
So he's like a bear?
Yeah, dude.
So couldn't people just hang out by the water
to watch him try to get those fish?
No way, man.
People got to work, dude.
They don't got time to be hanging out there
looking for Bigfoots.
People have seen bears.
Yeah, there's a lot more bears.
So this Bigfoot would go to where the bears go
to get the fish and the berries.
No, dude, there's way little of them.
There's not a lot of them.
Do they ever go to Whole Foods?
How many times have you been hunting?
Or been camping?
People camp all the time.
I never fucking camp, man.
Yeah, I know.
The closest I camp is when the hotel door
goes straight to the outside.
You mean the motel door?
Yeah, the motel door, yeah.
That's why you ain't seen one, man.
No, I've seen...
I mean, have you been to a travel lodge?
You can see Bigfoot at travel lodge.
You can see a lot of bears at travel lodge.
That's a sleepwalking bear.
That's not Bigfoot.
Well, whatever it was, I fucked it.
It's real.
I always felt sorry for that sleepwalking bear.
Because he must just cause terror everywhere he goes.
He's just sleeping.
Like, does he wear... You know how he has bedclothes in the logo?
He's got like a little night shirt or whatever.
A little cap.
Wait, who does?
The bear at Travelodge.
Oh, I just said it.
Sleepwalking bear.
Because I thought I saw a Bigfoot at a Travelodge.
I didn't know about the logo.
Honest to God, that's a sleeping bear.
Wait, you know enough about a Travelodge to reference it,
but you don't know that their logo is a sleepwalking bear?
I know that the doors always open up right to the outside
and not to the hallway.
They open to the sidewalk.
Parking lot.
I get the second floor.
The idea of a bear in PJs, though.
It's a good logo.
Does he put those on to hibernate?
No, he's just cold.
It's more like evening wear?
That's what I like about animals, too.
They don't care about fashion or nothing.
They're just like, man, look at this hat.
That's one of the greatest things.
Wait, I have a...
This is a question that might make...
Do bears sleep when they're not hibernating?
Like, do they just sleep in the winter
and then they're awake the whole rest of the time?
Yeah, I think I was leading up to that question.
Because they did spend all that time sleeping.
When I said, does he put the outfit on for all of winter,
or does he have to put it on every night and all of winter?
That's exhausting.
And somebody told me something that blew my mind about hibernating,
something about, like, they're invisible or something.
It wasn't that specifically.
But somebody said something about hibernating that I didn't know was...
I never thought was... I never knew was true.
And now I can't remember what it was, but it really blew my mind.
Well, they hibernate for, like, months, right? Is that true?
Yeah, I think so.
So they don't go to the bathroom or nothing the whole time?
That's so crazy.
Because they're not eating anything. I know, but that's amazing go to the bathroom or nothing the whole time? That's so crazy.
No, because they're not eating anything.
I know, but that's amazing.
They wake up every once in a while and jerk off.
Yeah.
I would.
That's how they stay asleep.
Woke up a month early.
Let's watch some porn.
Can't sleep.
Oh man, springtime would.
Yeah, yeah.
It's the hardest thing.
Did I ask you the question, Jeff Dye?
No.
What last movie you saw?
So, I watch a lot of older movies.
Okay. Because people text me stuff like,
Jeff, there's this movie that you're gonna fucking love.
And they'll tweet it to me
or whatever.
Right.
They're like,
it's the Wizard of Oz.
Well, like, people...
No, like, I haven't seen
a lot of movies.
So people will say, like,
what was the one
with the robots
fought monsters in the water?
Pacific Rim.
Yeah.
So when that movie came out,
they made a trailer for it
to let all the people
know about it.
And I got, like,
a thousand text messages
of people like,
Jeff, they made this movie about
monsters fighting robots.
Why did they just do that for Pacific Rim?
No, they did it. Hey, man,
they do it all the time, dude.
It's a good idea.
Well, my point is,
all these people texted me like,
you're gonna fucking love this movie.
And so now people do that all the time.
And they sent me one called Maximum Overdrive
that was made by Stephen King.
Right, Emilio Estevez.
It's awesome.
You love that movie?
I loved it because it was so cool.
Okay.
That's the first movie I saw.
Basically a green fog goes over the world
and for that, during that fog,
all the machines come to life and try to kill people.
Yeah.
You know what those machines are doing?
They're going into maximum overdrive.
Absolutely.
And Stephen King said that when he made the movie,
he was doing a bunch of drugs, and he had no business directing.
And then they said,
how come you didn't make another movie that you'd direct?
And he said, he goes, well, did you see Maximum Overdrive?
And that's why he's never directed ever again.
But that was the last movie I saw, and I loved it.
Well, that's great that it worked out for you,
because it seems like not a fan would say that to you.
Like, somebody that's trying to trick you
into watching Garbage would be like,
hey, you should check this out.
Exactly what I like.
They know where your head's at.
Give us another example of a movie
that someone recommended that you loved. Mad Max, all the Mad Maxes. Well, those are great movies. Yeah, that's what I like. They know where your head's at. Give us another example of a movie that someone recommended that you loved.
Mad Max.
All the Mad Max movies.
Well, those are great movies.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I like watching shit explode and monsters and...
Have you seen Repo Man?
You'll love Repo Man
for real, yeah.
I'm not a real tough judge.
I just want to see, like...
If there's a movie
that has, like,
a jet ski on fire or something...
Oh, man, we should be
best friends.
Okay, I'll send you...
We should be best friends. I can send'll send you. We should be best friends.
I can send you a list of those.
Yeah.
And people go,
oh, this is a Jeff Dye movie.
Send this to Jeff Dye.
But so many movies,
aren't there boring parts for you?
Like, if that's what
you're really excited about
is things on fire?
Like, because things
are not on fire
during long chunks
of a lot of movies.
Yeah, but it's always
leading up to setting
everything on fire again,
and that is cool, too.
Well, I like, like, Mad Max, I think, was my heart song movie.
That was my favorite movie because it has a lot of things that are good.
Like hot chicks, right?
If you like hot chicks, there's those models.
And if you like, like, feminist, like, women kicking ass, you got Charlize Theron with, like, one arm.
And then, like, these grannies on motorcycles.
And then maybe you're a girl, and you're like, but I like hot dudes.
You got Tom Hardy being a hot dude.
And then there is a bunch of machines
with big tires and shit on it.
And then you got a guitar player on chains.
Like, it's something for everyone.
There's something for everyone.
Wait, but what about those of us...
What if we love...
What if we love scary masks?
It's in there.
Okay.
There is something for everybody.
I only like movies where they're fighting over water.
Yeah.
Does that take place?
It's in there, man.
Oh, I'm on board.
It's full of it the whole time.
What about breastfeeding?
Is there any...
Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Breast pumping?
A bunch of ladies would have things on there.
I'll have to see this movie.
You'll love it.
I liked it.
All right, here's the last question I'm going to ask
before we move on to the game portion of the show.
Oh, yes.
And I'll start again with you, Jeff,
because you know this is coming.
What's the best movie that I've never seen?
A movie that
Doug Benson somehow
missed.
One guy
has your back on that one
Jeff. What is The Salvation?
Remind me.
It's got Mads Mikkelsen
and Ben Mendelsohn
and shut up. It's got Mads Michelson and Ben Mendelsohn and...
Shut up.
Okay?
That is their names.
Right?
Right?
They were both in Rogue One.
Right.
But in this one, they're friends.
Okay.
And it's like a reckoning.
Like, some fucking shit happens right at the beginning.
It's like a Western?
Yeah, it's a Western.
I've seen it.
Sorry. You've seen it. Sorry.
You've seen that? Yeah.
I just, Salvation's kind of a somewhat generic title, so I needed to get more details.
But yeah, it's good.
It looks so dejected when that happens.
It's not, there's no prizes involved.
Adrian, do you have one?
Yes.
Sweet Nothing.
Ooh.
Michael Imperioli.
Mm-hmm.
Mira Servino.
Mm-hmm.
1996.
The director escapes me.
Hmm.
Hey, Jeff, you're probably not going to like this movie.
It's about drugs.
I can tell the way he's talking about it that I'm not going to like it, so don't write
it down.
Why do you think, Adrian, no one in this audience gave that a woo?
At least The Salvation Army got one woo.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's really nobody's seen it.
Well, I think also I'm looking it up, seeing a lot of young people that might have been born in 1996
when the movie
was released I don't
know what the box office was on it
or how well it was received
yeah well it wasn't big box office
that's for sure because I barely
know of its existence
well I thought that that was the point of the
no yeah
I would like you to whip out a gem
that I, you know, missed somehow, and...
I can't say that you're gonna love the movie,
but it held my attention,
and I wasn't planning on watching it.
It just came on on HBO, and I watched it.
And I was glued to the very end,
and at the very end, there's a little trick that they do
that kind of makes it like, oh, shit.
A Cosby-like trick.
Yeah, it is.
There's an offer to be your mentor at the end.
Does he put a little sweet something in her drink?
It's just a straight cappuccino.
All right, well, we'll put that on the list.
Sweet nothing.
I like Mira Sorvino.
Yeah.
Jeff Dye, what do you got?
Is there a genre that you don't watch a lot of?
Well, that would probably be a genre I don't like,
so then you're going at cross-purposes.
Because then you're going to say a movie
that in a genre I don't like.
Yeah, I'm trying to stump Doug.
Well, it's not a stumping thing.
All right, okay, then I got one.
I'm just trying to find a good movie.
All right, here's a good one.
I've seen Pacific Rim.
Good one.
I think he's making a sequel.
Have you seen The Boy?
The Boy.
Sounds vague, but it's a horror movie.
It's creepy, right?
Well, I watched the preview, the trailer thing
we were talking about earlier.
And it looked real dumb. If you watch the trailer, you're gonna go,
man, this movie ain't for me.
I know exactly what's gonna happen.
It looks dumb.
But then the actual movie, if you've seen it,
is totally different than the trailer.
And I like that, because they didn't spoil it.
Yeah, I just, when I had an opportunity to see it,
I didn't because people were saying that it's like,
that it, you saying that it is about
a creepy little boy and it's a horror film.
And just that description did not appeal to me.
Right.
I'll tell you what happens in the trailer.
She goes, hey, we got this babysitting gig for you and you get to come to England.
And then she flies to England and then the old people are like, this is our son. But then the son is just a wooden doll.
And then she's like, oh, these people are crazy.
And they're like, we're not crazy.
This is real. This is our son.
So she has to babysit a doll while they leave.
And so then while she's babysitting the doll,
the doll moves and does things.
And she's like, oh, maybe I am babysitting a real...
Like, she's dumb, you know?
She doesn't know.
And then all this other shit happens.
But it's real good.
But all that's in the trailer.
That's all in the trailer.
But then everything after that
is the good stuff.
I can spoil it if you want.
No, no, no.
Don't spoil it.
Because it's amazing.
But you're saying it gets good after that.
Well, yeah, because you watch the trailer,
you go, why would I watch that?
It's another one of these little Annabelle dolls.
Is it like just a really,
just a block of wood with a wig on it?
Yes, like a ventriloquist.
It's really bad.
It looks so stupid.
And I thought the movie would be bad, but it's real good.
Alright. Well, now I'm
coming back around on The Boy.
The Boy.
I'm gonna check out The Boy.
One for
The Boy, please.
Yeah, no, bring a friend.
Don't be one.
I tried to say,
when I bought my ticket for Valerian in the City of a Thousand Planets,
I wanted...
Yeah, that's the right way.
I wanted to say it the wrong way
and see if the person selling you tickets reacted,
but I just said it right.
Because the right...
Because the right way
is planet of...
Yeah.
Planet of...
You were gonna pull a prank on him.
City of a thousand planets
doesn't make any sense.
How could a city
have a thousand planets?
But planet of a thousand cities
does make sense.
We're living in're living but that's
not the rule also what's the name of the girl in that movie what not the real
actress that a character it's valerian and Luann Loreline. Loreline. So it's based on a series of comic books
called Valerian and Loreline.
And they get this hot actress to play Loreline
that was my favorite thing about the entire movie.
And then they change the name to Valerian and the City of...
And she's in every fucking scene.
She's his partner.
She's more important to the story than him in some ways. they just cut her out and replace it with city of the I'm so mad
about it makes me live Trump's America
just feels like that's something someone should complain about. Starting with Cara Delevingne.
But, you know, I guess you can't have what sounds like a girl's name.
I mean, Valerian could be a girl's name.
Or disease.
Maybe she got in trouble or something.
Maybe she what?
Maybe she got in trouble or something.
Yeah, maybe that's it.
So you took her off the thing.
She promoted it a lot.
I follow her on Instagram. There's a lot of it. So you took her off the thing. She promoted it a lot. I follow her on Instagram.
There's a lot of pictures.
A lot of pictures promoting that shit. How did it do in tweets?
She had to promote it.
She's not on the fucking title.
Did you get some texts about it?
Alright.
Turn the show off, Bert.
Because it's time for me to say
let the games begin!
Name tags, come out of the shadows.
All right.
Is this where we pick?
Lots of good ones.
You got to go physically grab one
and bring it back to your seat.
Blue cards that I threw into the audience do not count.
Neither do those baseball cards, football cards.
All right, we'll be right back.
Today's episode is brought to you in part by our old pals at Loot Crate.
On a quest for epic gear, housewares, and collectibles,
Loot Crate has an epic range of pop culture items for less than $20 a month.
You guys already know all about Loot Crate.
They've been a longtime sponsor of Doug Loves Movies
and have been incredibly generous with our listeners.
Do I even need to continue
with this ad? Probably not.
But here I go.
If you're more of a fanatical fashionista
then try Loot
Wear. Monthly wearables and
accessibles with cult classics from your
favorite franchises. Or
if you want to geek out your pet
try Loot Pets pets be the envy of your
friends and get your 100 exclusive crates at lootcrate.com that's lootcrate.com slash doug
enter my code d-o-u-g to save three dollars on any new subscription august loot crate theme is
kingdom featuring items from legend of zelda Time, and The Lord of the Rings.
One lucky subscriber will also win a Mega Crate of seriously epic proportions.
You have until the 19th at 9pm Pacific to subscribe and receive this month's crate.
And when the cutoff happens, say it with me, that's it, it's over.
Go to LootCrate.com slash Doug and enter my code Doug
to save $3 on any new subscription today.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Great job, everybody.
Nice, polite crowd during the picking.
Yesterday, they were screaming at Ben Bailey.
What do you got there, Jeff Dye?
I got Karen's Big Adventure.
Karen, I'm guessing, is the sweet lady that brought this toy of Pee Wee Herman.
Yeah, it's unopened, right?
Like, it's probably valuable.
Also, I want to...
She put a little political message.
Don't read that.
Don't read that.
That's for at the end.
Oh, I'm dumb.
All right, so how about this?
Well, you got to put the mic where it gets.
It probably comes out of his mouth.
The sound probably comes out of his mouth
instead of his back.
He's still funny after all these years.
It holds up.
Hey, what's up?
He said, I love you, too, which is so nice. I love up. Hey, what's up? You said I love you too,
which is so nice.
Oh, he said I love you?
I love you.
Yeah, that's creepy.
No, I like it.
All right.
Good job, Karen.
Good work.
Yeah.
Take good care of that.
You ever look up
how much that is worth?
Might be worth something, right?
Maybe.
Don't open it.
Oh, that'd be so fucked up if I just opened it.
I actually think
we should open it.
I'm not gonna sell it. I just want to enjoy it.
That's what toys are made for.
What is it? Everyone's like an entrepreneur
now. Hold on to it for 20 years
and fucking no, man. I want to play with it.
Secrets of investing. Yeah, you never know.
Alright, Adrian, what do you got?
I've got Apocalypse Now.
Very disturbing my face instead of Brando.
It is.
It kind of looks like a meld of both of our faces,
which is weird because they didn't know I was going to be here.
Right.
But, yeah, it spoke to me.
And that's her in the corner right there.
Yes.
All right.
Lindsay? What's your motivation. All right. Lindsay?
What's your motivation for this poster, Lindsay?
She wanted to make a big Doug face.
Isn't it big enough?
It's a huge face.
Why do you have to make it bigger?
I want to say it's life-size.
It's good.
It's so much bigger than the sun on that poster.
That's true.
Look at how small the helicopters are
compared to your head.
I'm about to cause that eclipse
that's happening on August 21st
in that poster.
Get the real glasses for that one.
Wow, you guys went for the dolls today.
Tell us about yours, Jeff.
I thought it was Yoda.
Millennials.
No, it's just Dobby,
the house elf.
Harry Potter
and the Chamber of Kyle.
Wow, just crudely written
on Dobby's fucking chest.
Like on a post-it.
He looks so sad.
It's like his death scene
when they made the doll.
If anyone was spoiled by that,
I can't help you.
That's pretty fucked up
if you aren't caught up
to the children's books and movies
that happened a decade ago.
I haven't seen any of them.
That's why I thought this was Yoda.
Who also dies.
Oh, yeah, he does die, yeah.
But, like, I knew that.
Like, whatever.
I mean, there was weed candy tied to it,
so that was probably my motivation.
If I had to guess, I would say
that's probably what drew me to it.
Wait.
Wait a minute. I feel shit.
Somebody offered me pizza.
I just went for the love of toys
and you went for drugs.
What?
I love toys.
Okay.
That's fair.
I can get drugs anywhere.
Where do you think
they keep the toys?
What's the Dobby dude's name?
Kyle.
Kyle, okay.
So Jeff is playing for Kyle,
and Adrian's playing for Lindsay,
and Jeff Dye is playing for Karen Peewee.
That's her new nickname.
Karen, are you here with friends?
My husband.
Oh, forget it.
So no?
Gross.
All right, this first game we're going to play is called Alex's, Jason's, and Deb's IMDb Game.
A lot of people came together to create this game,
and I think it's a lot of fun.
I'm going to start listing the movies that is in someone's top four on their IMDb page.
And actor or actress, I'll just start
from the first one there on the left.
They've got four titles.
Do you know what years are, Jeff Dye, on IMDB?
That would be interesting to look at.
Do you have any guesses?
Yeah, I mean, I'd guess my...
Did they go in order of year?
No, it's really random. You'll see.
This will be a good example
of how weird the analytics are,
if that's even the right word for it.
How do you...
D-E-Y-E.
Yeah.
Wow, you're the top Jeff Dye.
Hey, I'm the most famous Jeff Dye.
There's a pastor in Kansas who's making a run for it, but...
It's So annoying.
Okay, so I think...
Jesus this and Jesus that.
It's like, punch it up, motherfucker.
Okay, so typically when we play this game,
most of the titles I'm going to say are movies,
but your titles on your IMDb page are TV shows.
Which ones do you think are on there?
Better Late Than Never on NBC has to be the first one.
That's the third one on there.
Girl Code.
That's number two.
This is that shit.
Were you ever on Guy Code?
No, which is unfair to me.
I auditioned for Guy Code, and the producer said right to my face, he goes, yeah,. I auditioned for Guy Code,
and the producer said right to my face,
he goes, yeah, you'd be great for Girl Code.
And I was like, I'm a boy.
I'm a real boy.
And I was the only guy on Girl Code,
except one guy who was dating Carly at the time.
And then that was the only...
Oh, did the poor little baby get on the wrong TV show?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's not very fun to go into bars Oh, did the poor little baby get on the wrong TV show? Yeah. Yeah.
It's not very fun to go into bars and everyone's like,
oh, that's that gay guy from Girl Code.
I'm like, I'm not, just because I'm on Girl Code.
Stop it.
It's not because it's the gay bar.
Well, talk all the shit you want about gay bars.
They have great drink specials.
Free drinks.
Yeah, when you're the gay dude from Girl Code.
I mean, yeah.
Your picture's above the bar for a reason.
Yeah.
Okay, what else?
Last Comic Standing, right?
No, shit.
I don't know how they pick it.
I can do that?
Oh, Extreme Makeover Home Edition.
What the fuck?
They said their number one for you is Money from Strangers. Oh, yeah,over Home Edition. What the fuck? They said their number one for you is Money From Strangers.
Oh, yeah, I made it.
But no one's heard of it.
Right, no one's heard of that.
You guys know what Money From Strangers is?
Exactly.
All right.
Everyone raped it.
It's on there.
We made Money From Strangers.
And then Ellen started doing the exact same thing on her show.
Then Impractical Jokers did it in a group format.
And then all these different shows started doing the show that we had. So. Then Impractical Jokers did it in a group format. And then all these different shows started
doing the show that we had.
So they just canceled ours.
I get it. But yours was a real thing, though.
We started it. You started it. It's true.
And you also started another thing that's the title
of your fourth thing
on here.
I don't know anymore.
You were the host as yourself in 2010
of a program called
Numb Nuts?
Oh yeah, yeah.
There's actually a great story about that.
I sure hope there is.
Why were you the host
of Numb Nuts?
Was it a competition where people put their balls
in a freezer and
see how long you can leave them there?
Hey, you've been talking to me for about 15 minutes.
It's not crazy that I was the host of a show called Num Nuts.
What happens on Num Nuts?
Oh, well, they're trying to, like, copy, like, Jackass
or the dudes, like, those kind of names.
Like, Jackass doesn't seem like a real flattering name.
Yeah, but you don't do that stuff yourself.
Nah, it's the host.
I made these guys do it to each other.
It was fun.
But the...
Did it take place at the bar?
But what's funny is
that it was made by Ashton Kutcher and Jason Goldberg.
And so when I met them, they're like,
dude, we saw you in Last Coming Standing,
we think you're a great face for the show
because you're silly or whatever.
And then Ashton Kutcher said,
I'm 6'4", I used to have real long hair,
so my whole life people have been like,
you remind me of Ashton Kutcher.
My whole life I've heard that.
Yeah, and you had to knock a lot of bitches out
for that, didn't you?
Well, no, I meet Ashton for the first time ever,
and he goes, there's something about you I like.
Yeah!
You like you, that's what you like.
But yeah, that show got canceled.
All right, well now you have an idea of how they-
Yeah, of how it works.
So it's random.
Kind of, but those were also all legit credits
for you, right?
Yeah, they really happened.
I did it.
Yeah.
They made a movie about the Portland, Oregon
comedy festival called the Bridgetown Festival.
They made a doc about it.
I made it for like two seconds.
It's my number three on IMDb.
I'm like, I didn't even remember.
I haven't even seen it.
Maybe that's a great movie I haven't seen.
It's been right there under my nose the whole time.
All right, so I'm going to say the names of somebody's top four of the movies.
And the idea is that you buzz in as soon as you think you know who I'm going to say the names of somebody's top four of the movies.
And the idea is that you buzz in as soon as you think you know who I'm talking about.
From the first title, it's probably a little bit risky to buzz in because there's so many actors in that one movie.
You need another one to kind of get an idea.
But if you want to go for it, it's one point if you're right, negative one point if you're wrong. But for every remaining name after you jump in and get it right,
you get a bonus point if you can name more movies that person was in.
Yeah.
We got this, Karen.
Oh, wow.
Cocky.
Confident.
I like it.
And, yeah, that's it.
Oh, and buzz in with your own name,
but in the case of... We got two Jeffs.
So would either of you like to volunteer
to say, like, your last name instead of your first name?
I'll do my last name. You're gonna just yell out,
-"Die!" -"Die!"
-"Die!" -"Die!"
Okay, so remember to yell out,
-"Die!" before you answer.
And Adrian's gonna yell out Cosby.
Maybe you should yell out, yellow booty!
And Jeff's gonna stick with the good old Jeff.
Jeff, yeah, I'll just say Jeff.
Okay.
Jeff, yeah, I'll just say Jeff.
Okay. Okay.
Who's top four on IMDb begins with Jurassic Park?
A bunch of actors in that.
I know some of them.
Let's see.
Well, you can take a chance and jump in, but it's going to be negative one.
The second title
is The Fault in Our Stars.
Can I go?
Die?
Die.
Is it Jeff Goldblum?
No.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
He's made like stars.
I'm sorry.
All right, so that's negative one.
All right, no big deal.
We're going to die.
Goonies never say die.
The third title.
That guy just spit his beard when you said Goonies Never Say Die.
It's very special to some people.
Wild.
This person was in Wild.
Jurassic Park, Fault in Our Stars, Wild.
Huh, that's right.
And the fourth title. This is just between Adrian and Jeff Tate.
Blue Velvet.
Adrian.
Who is it?
Laura Dern?
That's correct.
How many of you guys knew it?
You knew it? You knew it?
You knew it?
No, yeah, people know it.
That's why I'm like,
I wish, it's harder up here.
I know.
Like, we're probably the only people in the room with erections.
I was gonna say the same.
I have medication for that,
if anybody...
Okay.
I'm not hard, by the way.
He's joking.
All right, we got quite a horse race.
Adrian has one point, Jeff has negative one point,
and Jeff Tate has no points.
Not about winning and losing.
Kind of is.
Whose top four starts with Walk the Line?
Walk the Line.
People in the audience know it.
I think so.
Jeff.
I think they do.
Jeff thinks he knows it.
Already?
Who is it, Jeff?
I'm going to take a guess.
Reese Witherspoon.
That is correct.
All right, so Jeff gets, and Jeff alone gets to guess two more Reese Witherspoon titles that would fill out her top four.
It's three more.
I'm sorry, I apologize. You get to name five more.
Three more. It's not a two more.
All right.
What do you got?
I'm going to say Legally Blonde,
Wild,
and Wild and Legally Blonde 2
Red White and Blonde
You haven't seen Harry Potter
but you know those films?
I mean I know the title
He's got a weird
knowledge base
Yeah
He used to study law
Yeah
Yeah yeah That's in That's freshman year He's got a weird knowledge base. He used to study law.
Yeah, yeah.
That's freshman year.
They make you take both Legally Blonde classes.
They went with
Wild and
Legally Blonde.
So you got two points for those two.
But then their fourth one,
which is odd to me,
this means war. Oh yeah, that one, which is odd to me, this means war.
Oh, yeah, that one, okay.
Yeah, not okay.
She's got a lot of other movies.
Election would have been a good one to put in there.
Anyway.
She's in mud.
Mud.
Mud.
Yeah, that's good.
This isn't Last Man Standing with Reese Witherspoon.
All right, Jeff, leap to the lead with three points.
Di has negative one, and Adrian has one.
So this is the third round.
We'll only have a fourth round if we need a tiebreaker.
So, guys, you really want to go for it here.
Whose top four begins with Mad Max Fury Road?
Adrian.
Oh, shit.
What do you got, Adrian?
I'm going to go with Charlize Theron.
No!
Which means... Adrian's down to zero points.
I'm going to die.
Die's going for it.
Tom Hardy?
No!
That was a good guess.
He's the most in it.
I'll take another title, though.
That's really not how I decide which is most in it.
Jeff?
No, I'm going to wait for you to say another title.
No.
Also, I just won.
No, you just have to try.
Right now?
Yeah, because you win either way.
Zoe Kravitz.
That is correct.
Now the audience is hard.
What do you think the tiebreaker was?
Nicole Kidman?
That's correct.
Oh my God.
Yeah, it was the ladies of HBO's Big Little Lies
was the sneaky pattern that Jeff figured out.
That did not occur to me. Nicole Kidman's got a weird top four.
Moulin Rouge is number one.
The Others, Eyes Wide Shut, and The Hours.
It's like after the musical,
it's all just creepiness and sadness.
But yeah, all those ladies were in Big Little Lies,
and Zoe Kravitz, her other credits are Divergent,
X-Men First Class, and After Earth.
Oh.
Yes.
That'd be a fun name tag.
Change it to After Birth.
And then just put a big glob of goo on it.
Oh, my God.
What were their names?
Why?
No, don't do it
What a weird name
I mean, they really were asking for it
When they called the movie After Earth
And then it's not good
Like, there had to be many, many reviews
That just went for it
And said more like After Birth
I don't know why they don't hire somebody
whose only job is to figure out
how you'd make fun of the title.
It'd be like, don't call it that.
It sounds...
There should just be a person who's like,
that's dumb. It's like when you're naming your kid. You don't want to name
all the other kids you're going to be able to make fun of.
Right. And then they still call their kid
Dick or something.
All right. I'm going to bring Right. And then they still call their kid Dick or something. Mova.
All right.
I'm going to bring back a game that we don't play very often,
but I think you guys can handle it.
It's called Build a Title. Build a Title.
The premise is basically just adding titles to an existing title by using words or sounds from the title that match up.
Like, for instance, Purple Rain Man is two titles that you can link up like that.
You know what I mean?
Great explanation, Doug.
We dropped the thes and the a's
because those just get in the way
and stop it all up.
And Jeff won that first game,
so he's going to go first.
Then we'll go to Adrian,
then we'll go to Jeff.
And the starting title for this build-a-title
is The Jungle Book,
which has also been called in a film just Jungle Book.
So it's Jungle Book.
So Jeff has to come up with a movie that either ends with the word jungle
or begins with the word book.
Jungle Book of Eli.
Yes.
Yes.
Jungle Book of Eli yes
so now Adrian has to add
to Jungle Book of Eli
so he has to have a movie that ends with Jungle
begins with Eli
and I know there's probably
not a lot of those out there
so here's what you do Jeff Dye
you take advantage of that little eye at
the end of Eli and you come up with the movie that begins with I Adrian do I
have to okay so am I using Jeff's whole title Book of Eli Robot
Yes
I'd just like to see something called
Eli Robot
That's the guy's name
That is a cool
fucking name
Alright so we're back around
I mean we're at Jeff Dye now.
And so
something that begins with robot
or ends with
jungle.
I keep thinking of things.
That's cool.
That ain't...
I mean, it's a shame
that Pacific Rim isn't called Robots and Monsters. Yeah. Well, I think of things that ain't... I mean, it's a shame that Pacific Rim isn't called Robots and Monsters.
Yeah.
Well, I think of things that ain't movie titles.
I'm like, oh, there's the Rumble in the Jungle,
and then that's just a boxing match.
Well.
Have we said the Jungle Book?
Something else ends with Jungle?
How about we'll try this.
Welcome to the Jungle Book of Eli Robot.
What's Welcome to the Jungle?
It's a movie.
It is?
Yeah, man.
You ever seen Welcome to the Jungle?
Who's in it?
Leif Garrett?
Oh, tons of actors, man.
They got funds and games in it. Who's in it? Don't look at your phone. I don't know who's in it. You're Garrett? Oh, tons of actors, man. Like, they got funds and games in it?
Like, who's in it? Don't look at your phone.
I don't know who's in it.
You're in the middle of a game.
No, I was gonna prove it.
No.
Okay.
You gotta prove it through...
It's gotta be a movie that you're aware of.
Can't just be a popular phrase.
Well, then, I think I'm disqualified,
because I just...
Okay.
That's cool. Welcome to the jungle. No. Well, then I think I'm disqualified, because I just... Okay.
That's cool.
Welcome to the jungle.
No.
I will not accept that there's a movie called that.
It stars Tim Allen?
No?
No, it doesn't.
No, don't say things out loud right now.
We're still in the game.
Oh, wait, how about this one? It's not yell out things yet time.
I got a different one. There are no lifelines in the game. Oh, wait. How about this one? It's not yell out things yet time. I got a different one.
There are no lifelines in this game.
This game is designed to end quickly.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What do you got?
Settle down.
Thank you.
That's not how it works.
He has to know what it is.
I don't care if you know what it is.
You had another one? He has to know what it is. I don't care if you know what it is. As Table 34 has clearly stated,
it's a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
You had another one, though?
Where he probably does the splits.
Uh...
Uh...
There, I believe...
Jungle to Jungle book
of Eli
Groba
and I know that's a movie
that's why they were yelling about Tim Allen back then
Tim Allen and Martin Short were in Jungle to Jungle
alright now Jeff
Tate
you're just stuck with Jungle again
welcome to the jungle it's got Jean-Claude Van Damme Uh, Tate, you're just stuck with jungle again.
Welcome to the jungle.
It's got Jean-Claude Van Damme.
What is it?
What is it?
Jean-Claude Van Damme's in it.
It's one of those white guy karate movies.
Are you gonna accept it from him?
Oh yeah.
You gotta say the whole title though. Because we all know what it is now.
Yeah. You did say the whole title
didn't you? Welcome to the Jungle to
Jungle Book of Eli Robot.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I just like hearing it.
So Adrian needs something that ends with welcome,
or well, or wha,
or begins with robot or bot or
ot.
I don't.
It's tough.
I don't have anything.
Yeah.
That's.
Yeah, I'm out.
Yeah, that's not good.
Oh, wait.
No.
It's a TV show.
Yeah, I thought about it.
Jeff, Tate, you want to finish this off at all?
Isn't there a movie called
Robots?
Yeah!
Jungle to Jungle Robots, motherfucker.
Well, you missed a lot of it, but you got...
You got the basic idea.
Jeff Tate Winsbens, Build a Title.
So when people say to me,
how come you don't play Build a Title very much?
I go, listen to the episode from Columbus.
It's hard to get a long one going, you know?
Look who got some donut holes.
He's probably offered it to all of us.
It's just a little game feel, you know?
Stage right.
I'm just trying to hit the guy holding up the sign.
I'm just trying to hit him in the face.
I'm just trying to hit the guy holding up the sign. I'm just trying to hit him in the face.
Give me a further back sign.
That's a good one.
As soon as I ask for it, he pulls it down.
I can get that.
You want to throw?
That was a good one.
We're going to throw donuts at the pregnant lady?
That doesn't seem right.
Well, she can eat anything, right?
My wife!
Thank you, bud.
Yeah, no, somebody just put him up on the stage.
The donut hole fairy dropped those off.
I hope it's not that guy with the poison donuts.
Come on, man, this would be the best way to go.
That's another good reason for me not to eat the donuts people give me.
But yeah, I never eat them.
I just throw them into the crowd.
So good luck, Jeff Dye.
I like them.
I ate a bunch of them.
I had one. I ate a bunch of them. I had one.
I hope they're poison.
I'll fucking die from donut holes.
It's on brand.
All right.
So Jeff is still getting to go first in this next game,
but everybody gets a chance to go first
in Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.
This is for all the donut holes, gentlemen.
All the remaining ones.
We're going to start with Jeff,
then we'll go to Jeff,
and then Adrian.
Switch the order around from the last game. We're going to start with Jeff, then we'll go to Jeff, and then Adrian.
Switch the order around from the last game.
And I'm going to name an actor, and you each get one shot to name what you think might
be in that actor's top three movies of all time on Box Office Mojo after being adjusted
for inflation.
So it's kind of tricky, but the main thing is to just
think of a very famous movie that that person was in, and
you're going to be headed in the right direction.
And then Jeff will win, and we'll all go home.
You get three points for a number one, two points for a number two, and one point for
a number three, and no point, you know, there's no minus points, there's no wrong answers,
only the incorrect ones.
And Jeff starts us off, and we'll rotate each time to the next person down, so everybody
gets a chance to go first.
Jeff, what's in the top three of Miss Viola Davis?
Her parents clearly didn't think too hard about naming her, her initials.
naming her initials. I have VT.
What's in her top three?
I wish I could tell you who Viola Davis is
if that's the problem you're having right now.
Not anymore. I mean, I was at the beginning.
I was thinking of Octavia Spencer.
Uh...
We all look alike.
That's not what I meant.
Those two ladies don't look alike at all.
Yeah, it was their names I got confused, not their... Those two ladies don't look alike at all.
Yeah, it was their names I got confused, not their... Because they sound alike.
Well, if you pointed at them, I could tell you which one was which.
Okay, good.
All right.
Okay, but we're talking about Octo...
Octo Viola.
Octo Viola.
No, I'm going to say...
Wasn't she in something like The Amazing Spider-Man? wasn't she in something like
The Amazing Spider-Man?
She might be in something like that, yes.
Okay, I'm going to say The Amazing Spider-Man.
Okay, that's your guess.
Alright.
Adrian?
I didn't see this movie, but I
think she's in it.
Lee Daniels, The Butler.
Okay.
I'm sure that did all right at the box office.
Jeff Dye.
Was she in...
Suicide Squad
Okay so coming in
At number three was The Help
Oh we could have guessed that
That was a big one
That was a big hit
You've never had shit pie?
Nope
Damn it
I was gonna say The Help when I was going to say the help
when I was thinking of Octavia Spencer.
I would have done better
if I had just not remembered
who Viola Davis was.
Traffic is number two.
She is in traffic,
as many of us have been in our lives.
And coming in at number one
for Viola Davis,
Suicide Squad!
Alright, Jeff is in the lead
with three points.
That's what I meant
when I said something like that.
I figured that's possibly
what you meant.
So now
Adrian gets to start us off
with
the films
of Jared Leto.
Oh.
Requiem for a Dream Jeff Dye
I'm trying to look at the title
I know the movie
He's got AIDS
Matthew McConaughey
Philadelphia
Oh no It's called He's got AIDS. Matthew McConnell. Philadelphia.
Oh, no.
It's called...
Forrest Gump.
No, it's the, um...
Dallas Buyers Club.
Okay.
Yeah. All right.
Don't call it a comeback.
Jeff Tate.
Suicide Squad.
Yeah.
It was kind of there for the taking.
Coming in at number three for Mr. Leto,
Fight Club.
Fight Club, yeah.
Number two,
Panic Room.
Panic Room.
He and Forrest Whitaker break into the Panic Room.
And Dwight Yoakam.
And Dwight Yoakam.
Yeah, and
Kristen Stewart's daughter
in the Panic Room.
Jodie Foster doesn't get sexually assaulted.
Doesn't.
Yeah, it's interesting.
None of Jodie Foster's characters
have a pinball machine in their home
And number one for Jared Leto
Is Suicide Squad
Jeff you said it as soon as I said Jared Leto
I thought I already got credit for that movie
It was already done or something.
This is just what is legitimately
in these people's top three of all time.
So that means Jeff is on the board with three points.
This could be anybody's game still.
Got one more round and then a tiebreaker.
But Jeff Dye gets to start us off on this one.
Yeah.
Will Smith.
Very popular actor. I'm gonna go with
Suicide Squad
Jeff Tate
Men in Black.
Adrian Cosby.
You're looking for... The Pursuit of Happiness.
Top three.
You're looking for top three.
They already know you're wrong.
Top three of all time for Will Smith.
I'm going to get booed no matter what I say.
No, there's something you could say
that everyone would love to hear.
It's After Earth.
If it's not Men in Black 2
I got it
Jeff's figured it out already
But you already said your guess
No, but I changed it
You can't
Oh, fuck
Can I say what it is really though?
Yeah, say it
Independence Day?
I believe he answered in with
pursuit of happiness, Doug.
I didn't. No, he stopped
before the sentence was finished.
He said pursuit of happy.
Coming in at number
three and worth one point
Suicide Squad.
He's proud of having fallen for that.
And then, number two, Men in Black!
And this is so exciting. coming in at number one
Independence Day
which only gives Adrian
three points and Jeff Dye's got four
Jeff Tate has five points
Jeff Tate is our winner
I like
how the listeners don't know that
when you said Independence Day was number one,
Adrian raised his hands in triumph
like he didn't say seven Will Smith
movies and eventually
get to Independence Day. I didn't hear him say
seven pounds.
Not yet. Is that what that's called?
Yeah. I mean, one of
them's called that.
But, Doug, we need to focus.
I didn't say that one. Ah!
Oh, shit.
Oh, we are some bad boys up here.
Don't worry.
You guys are bad boys, too.
Oh, there it is.
The best to have ever done it.
Legend.
I am legend.
I fucked that up.
All right, so... But just for fun of it, though,
let's play the tiebreaker
just because I wrote it down.
Might as well play it.
It's going to start,
go back around to Jeff Tate.
What do you think for Ben Affleck?
Armageddon.
Alright. Just because you don't
clap doesn't mean it's not great.
Adrian?
Good Will Hunting.
Okay.
Jeff Dye.
I was going to say Good Will Hunting also,
but I'll say instead the accountant.
I guess you're forced to take the accountant.
Have you seen Suicide Squad?
Why didn't you say Suicide Squad?
I'm done with Suicide Squad.
I made a mistake.
Coming in at number three, Suicide Squad.
Number two, Batman v. Superman, Dawn of Justice.
And number one, Armageddon.
Fwa, fwa, fwa.
Fwa, fwa, fwa.
Armageddon!
Fwa-fwa-fwa!
Alright, so the person Jeff was playing for,
Kyle Kirk, what was his name?
Kyle, come get your
Dobby and your prizes.
Congratulations.
He gets his name tag back?
Yeah, everybody gets their name tag back.
You thought you were going to get to keep this lovely
Pee Wee Irving doll?
You can have it.
Oh, you're the best.
Are you really saying
he can have it?
Sure.
What?
You already said
we couldn't open it.
She said I could have it.
Open it.
You gotta open it.
Open it.
Why, is it a trick?
Yeah.
It's just glitter.
It's really a Paul Reubens doll.
It's a bunch of blue...
Boing, oing, oing, oing, oing.
All right.
Well, hand me that
Apoco Lindsay poster there, Adrian.
I need that for the end here.
And Jeff Tate...
I agree with her message, too.
Jeff Tate, what are your plugs?
Next weekend,
August 16th, 17th, 18th, or, yeah are your plugs? Next weekend, August 16,
17,
18,
or yeah,
17,
18,
19,
I'm in Lexington,
Kentucky
at Comedy Off-Broadway.
Then September 7,
8,
and 9,
I'm in Boise,
Idaho
at the 208 Comedy Festival.
And then September 14,
15,
and 16,
I'm in Bloomington,
Indiana
at the Comedy Attic.
That's it.
I don't know why you guys
are so fired up about it.
All right, cool.
Is that it?
Yeah, that's all.
You always have one thing more
you want to throw in
when I start talking.
Well, I mean, now it feels like I need to come up with something.
So, like, I don't know,
give money to Planned Parenthood or some shit.
That's at orsomeshit.org.
Adrian Cosby, what do you got coming up?
This week, 18-19,
I'm at Goonies in Rochester, Minnesota.
Never say die.
They never do. Are you okay?
Thank God.
It's a good thing he wasn't drinking that time.
He's a real chunk enthusiast. The word Goonies really gets him going.
Baby Ruth.
And then August 31st, I'll be at the Liberty Funny Bone
for a special engagement.
Congratulations.
I'm working hard.
I'm working hard.
Jeff Dye, what's going on, man?
Season 2 of Better Late Than Ever comes out
on NBC soon.
Next weekend, August...
Wait, no, that's this weekend.
Now, is that TV show you're on now the one you want to be on, or is there, like,
a different one that you wish you were on instead?
No, this one I like.
Oh, good.
This one is good.
Sorry about Gift Horse,
or whatever that show is you were on before.
I don't know.
Hey, there's some things I'm proud of,
and some things that I just take cash grabs Hey, there's some things I'm proud of
and some things that I just take cash grabs on.
August 24th, 26th,
I'm at Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon.
It's a gas.
August 31st, September 3rd,
I'm at The Improv in Denver.
It's The Improv.
It's all made up.
Improv.
Bring a suggestion.
Alright.
Do you want to throw the rest of those donuts at the crowd?
Yeah, that'd be fun. I think I'd
enjoy that. I'd enjoy that a lot.
It'll be a new segment
called Can I Hit Your Son?
We have
done that. The last time we were in Columbus,
because Burt Crusher doesn't know movie trivia,
so we played a donut throwing game.
That's a big white one in the middle.
Oh, I like that, yeah.
That one's lit.
I see one backlit.
You going for it?
Look in the mouth of that Christian Bale one.
Boom!
I saw the natural. I'm not a pro. Did you see punchline?
Do you know how to talk into a microphone?
I only saw the natural ones.
Alright, did we hear it of all of them?
I think so.
Alright, fair enough.
Thank you guys so much for being here.
One more time for Jeff Tate,
Adrian Cosby,
and Jeff Dye. Thank you.
Thank you very much to the funny bone here in
Seabus.
You guys, are you alright with that? Calling it Seabus?
It's only
something you can do? Like when an outsider does it
it's annoying? Or no
one should do it?
Because I'll stop doing it, Sebus.
All you got to do to get me to stop, Sebus,
is just say stop it.
We want to hear her full name.
No abbreviations ever.
That's some Cincy bullshit.
So I very specifically put that name tag exactly where I wanted
it to be so that I could read the shithead
at the end, and one of my guests
decided to just move it away
to where I don't have access to it
anymore. I think I remember it, but
if you could try to pass it to me, thank you.
Oh, yeah, I remembered that.
But right there, I just looked down and see it, right?
Those guys moved it. They thought it was a safety hazard.
Those are some of the most thoughtful guests.
But if I had to guess which one did it, I'd say Jeff Dye.
He's the most thoughtful of all of them.
As always...
People who pass in the right lane
are a shithead.
I don't know if this one's worth cheering over,
but I certainly agree.
People who abuse dogs are a shithead.
Once again, thank you to Loot Crate
for sponsoring today's episode.
Loot Crate has an epic range of pop culture items
for less than 20 bucks a month.
It's the best surprise you know is coming.
August Loot C crate theme is kingdom
items from legend of zelda adventure time and lord of the rings one lucky subscriber will also win a
mega crate of seriously epic proportions subscribe by the 19th at 9 00 pm pacific to receive this
month's crate go to lootcrate.com slash doug and enter my code d-o G Doug to save $3 on any new subscription today. Bye-bye. Except Cog Eats, there's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.