Doug Loves Movies - Jim Norton, Matt Serra, Sam Roberts and Jacob Sirof guest
Episode Date: November 28, 2016Live from the Gramercy Theatre in New York City, Doug welcomes Jim Norton, Matt Serra, Sam Roberts and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California... Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Yeah!
I was like, let's make this a quick one.
Opening theme, outro theme.
Let's do this.
Hey everybody, my name is, and I love movies.
This is the Love of Movies.
Coming to you once again, for I believe, now that I've been told an official number the last time I did a show here,
the 31st time at the Gramercy Theater in New York City.
in New York City!
It's Sunday, November 27th, 2016.
Tomorrow night's 12 Guests of Christmas show is sold da fuck out.
But you'll be able to buy it very soon
for two bucks in the comedy album section of iTunes.
Should be about a week. Takes about a week for that to come together.
I don't know why. I just have
to live with it.
I've got great
guests for you tonight, though, that
will not be back here
tomorrow night.
I don't know why you'd react one way
or the other to that
news. Oh!
No, I
was very happy that I was
able to book so many great people over
the course of the two nights, because as you know,
tomorrow night is the
12 guests, so there'll be
I think 14 or 15
chairs up here.
Because they always accidentally overbook it.
But let's be here now.
And let me see some name tags.
Yeah, this is what I'm talking about.
You guys, it's Thanksgiving weekend.
You're supposed to be with your families.
And instead, you were making these amazing name tags. Guys, it's Thanksgiving weekend. You're supposed to be with your families.
And instead, you were making these amazing name tags.
There's a Last Supper up front with my big head over Jesus' head.
I don't know if that... I might have eternal damnation.
Is that the expression?
Why do you have a little phone device underneath?
Oh, you're trying to light it up?
No, I can see it pretty clearly.
Why do you have a little phone device underneath?
Oh, you're trying to light it up?
No, I can see it pretty clearly.
Your name is Rob, and you took the poster for Rob Roy and put your face on there,
and you're wearing a hat, baseball hat,
just like Rob Roy would have.
What's that weird thing next to him?
What did you knit this time?
Holy shit. Look at this time? Holy shit.
Look at this shit, you guys.
And then it says, Trek first Katie tacked?
Tacked.
Oh, it said a contact Katie tacked.
Okay, well, you know what?
I don't mind your pun skills being low because your knitting skills are fucking crazy.
Did anybody get a picture of me holding it? You did? Okay, thanks.
That's a Borg or the Borg? A Borg. From the Borg. A member of the Borg. There's a guy over there that
knows who one of the guests is. I'm not going to read that one out loud.
You son of a bitch.
Aeronagon instead of Aragon.
Okay.
Wally, what's your name?
Allie.
Oh, Wally.
Wally.
All right, there's too many of you guys for me to talk to each and every one of you.
Are there any up in the balcony?
Oh, that's sad.
Good luck.
Hopefully there'll be some guests with hiking boots on that are ready to come get you.
Let's do some Doug plugs.
Getting Doug with High will be live this Tuesday
from the Troubadour Rock Club in Los Angeles.
You can watch it on my YouTube channel starting at 7 to 15 Pacific.
It'll be 10 to 15 Eastern for you guys.
And I also think tickets are available if you want to come see it if you're in L.A.
Next Saturday, December 3rd, Douglas Movies comes to the LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas at 420.
And the next Los Angeles Douglas Movies is Monday, December 5th at Meltdown Comics.
And let's see.
We've also got Cap City in Austin, Texas on Monday, December 12th.
You know where to go to get all the hot deets on all of my dates?
Douglovesmovies.com. Laughter That's douglovesmovies.com
But seriously, was there a mic stand out here when I came out here earlier?
No, right?
Behind me?
Yeah, there's a bunch of weird ones over here, but they're not going to work.
Here, watch.
So yeah, I always like to have one so I can be hands-free,
but I'm pretty sure there wasn't one when I came out here.
We'll work that out for tomorrow night.
Let's look in the prize bag, you guys.
From backstage, because I don't eat this sort of thing,
but man, am I jealous of the winner tonight.
Malomars.
Pure chocolate Malomars.
Except for that white part isn't chocolate, and that other layer isn't chocolate,
but they're pure chocolate.
Oh, here's a sippy cup I got when I saw a Broadway show.
Support the theater, buy a $17 sippy cup.
I don't know what this thing is.
It's some sort of thing you're supposed to use.
It's a weed thing.
You only have to worry about it.
Oh, and a pipe from Peacemaker.
A nice pipe that's only been used one time.
Oh, this is sad.
My Deadpool sunglasses broke.
One of the stems snapped off.
So I'm giving them away.
In case you want to wear them.
You can wear them weird style if you want.
They still stay on. But it just doesn't feel right.
Oh, a t-shirt that's from one of my friends at Tito's Vodka.
It says Tito's Vodka on it.
Yeah, they also gave me a couple of bottles of vodka
that I can't wait to try to fly home with.
Did my carry-on. I've got one of those little bags they give you on the airline when you're
sitting in first class. It's got like a little toothbrush and a little toothpaste in it.
And, oh, a shirt that says, want a screw? That's fun on any occasion. Another shirt,
I looked at it earlier and I have no idea what that's supposed to be that's on it.
But I just want you guys to have lots of shirts.
And it all comes in an Ash vs. Evil Dead bag.
I think it might be the last one of those.
So thank you to Stars Network for giving me all that crap.
And plus everything brought by my guests tonight.
Shall we bring them out here?
Please welcome Jacob Seroff, Matt Serra, Sam this. He's going back.
He's going back.
I have friends over there.
What's up, man?
Hey, man.
Well, let's meet them individually,
starting with the one who's got the biggest,
most singular fan out there in the audience
who already had your name written on his name tag, Matt.
Matt's going to have to find out all about name tags.
Let's give a big warm welcome to Matt Serra, everybody.
Thank you.
First time.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
We're Strong Island. Anybody from Long Island here? Okay. Good, everybody. Thank you. First time. Thank you very much. Thank you. We're Strong Island.
Anybody from Long Island here?
Okay.
Good, good.
There you go.
So how did that gentleman,
how did you know that Matt was going to be here?
Because he kept on saying it on the podcast.
Oh, dude, I fucked up.
I ain't going to lie.
Listen.
No, no, no, hold on.
I got excited because I'm a big fan of Doug's other show and this show, too.
And then so I told Jimmy on air, I go, Jimmy, I'm, you know, Doug got in touch with me.
I'm going to be on the show.
And he goes, he doesn't like when you say that out loud.
I go, I didn't get the memo when you were, in all fairness, you should have let me know, Doug.
I'm not throwing you under the bus.
It's your show, but no.
So the guy that's into Matt Serra,
do you listen to Doug Loves Movies,
or did you just come because you heard he's going to be here?
No, I'm here for your show every time.
You're here for my show every time.
So imagine his excitement,
the shit that would be running down his leg right now,
if you hadn't have said you were going to be here.
If you just suddenly walked out,
the guy would lose his mind.
It would have been so special.
I wish I got the memo that was never sent. But listen, I'm with you, mind. It would have been so special. I wish I got the memo
that was never sent. But listen, I'm with you though.
I'm with you, Andre.
Agree to disagree. That's my fault.
That's my problem. I forget
to send the memos.
I'm sorry. I don't think I send memos
ever, so.
But I do try to text you, like today I texted you
bring something for the prize bag and you wrote back
I think, I'm paraphrasing,
what the fuck are you talking about?
But you brought something,
and we'll talk about that in a second.
You are the co-host of the,
what's the name of the UFC podcast you do?
The official UFC podcast.
It's UFC Unfiltered with myself
and the very talented Jim Norton.
There he is, everybody.
Jim Norton. Let's the very talented Jim Norton. There he is, everybody. Jim Norton.
Let's hear it for Jim Norton.
Thank you.
How's it going, Jim?
Did you have a nice turkey day?
I did.
I saw the family, and then I went to see Bob Kelly,
and then I went to Sam's the family and then I went to see Bob Kelly and then I went to Sam's
house and then I went home.
It was
nice. I ate a little more than I should have.
You know,
anybody else do more than one dessert?
Come on. I know
you did.
Do you watch a movie on Thanksgiving?
Do you, like, gather everybody around and watch a holiday treat?
We do, yes.
What did you see?
It was usually an unnamed scat film.
I hate the unnamed ones.
No, we don't do...
It's hard to keep track of which ones you've seen.
Yeah, we don't do any family things.
I went down to South Jersey and I saw my parents. It's hard to keep track of which ones you've seen. Yeah, we don't do any family things.
I went down to South Jersey and I saw my parents.
They were staying at my sister's boyfriend's parents' house.
That was where we had Thanksgiving.
And it was nice.
We had a little bit of turkey.
Really good without all that pesky moisture that turkey will have in it sometimes.
And some green beans.
Jim, of course, is the co-host of the Jim Norton and Sam Roberts show on mornings on Sirius XM.
We're the dry turkey and green beans of radio.
Yes.
I hope you guys have a new title for the show tomorrow.
It's Sam Roberts, everybody.
Thank you.
Are you still
the last professional broadcaster?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
There hasn't been any more.
You're not the last
official co-broadcaster with Jim?
You're still a top guy?
Well, I'm the last
professional broadcaster
because Jim has been
broadcasting longer than me.
You know what I'm saying?
So he was a professional
broadcaster before me, so I'm still the last. Oh, that's what you mean when you say you're the last professional broadcaster because Jim has been broadcasting longer than me. You know what I'm saying? So he was a professional broadcaster before me
so I'm still the last. Oh, that's what you mean
when you say you're the last professional broadcaster?
You're the last one to start? The last one.
There's no reason to have any more.
They're our name. Yeah, that's the end.
Oh, okay.
Alright.
Yeah, but you can't
stop being that unless there's another one after me
and I don't think there will be.
So it would be, yeah, it would be forever.
They're all going to be unprofessional.
Very.
Yeah.
I like that.
And you were on nights for a while, so you were prime time Sam Roberts.
Well, no.
Isn't that why you were prime time Sam Roberts?
No, no.
Now you're on the mornings.
Yeah, but mornings is much better than nights.
Did you have to change that?
No, I haven't changed.
You're still primetime at 8 a.m.?
Yeah.
You're yelling that?
Primetime follows me where I go, you know?
Oh, wherever you're at is considered primetime.
Same with the last professional broadcaster.
It all just follows me.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I love it.
Yeah.
it all just follows me I love it
that's douglovesmovies.com
and also joining us here
for the first time in New York City
it's Jacob Searoff everybody
too cool to even talk
no I'm bummed out because I came to New York
to pursue a career as a professional broadcaster
there's no more
I gotta readjust
the office is closed
they're taking no more applications
what's up New York
why is it on me
who talks first you talk? I talk first?
Yeah, just say hi.
You did that.
You're doing great.
Yeah.
How is it?
You've been hanging out in New York for a couple days?
Yeah, I've been hanging out for New York since Thanksgiving.
I had the most depressing Thanksgiving ever.
I flew on Thanksgiving because I'm divorced and my kids are with their mom.
My parents are dead.
It's like, you don't want to ask me about Thanksgiving.
I'll just bum out the whole room.
I had a turkey sandwich on the plane. I thought it would make me feel like, you don't want to ask me about Thanksgiving. I'll just bum out the whole room. I had a turkey sandwich
on the plane.
I thought it would
make me feel better,
but it actually
just made me feel worse.
Don't do that
if you ever fly on Thanksgiving.
Did they make a special
turkey sandwich
or it just happened
to be on the menu?
No, it was just like,
there was no cranberry
or anything.
It was just like a turkey gouda.
It was a good sandwich,
but it was depressing as well.
It was delicious.
It made me sad.
Yeah, exactly.
Because you like Thanksgiving? I'm just not that into Thanksgiving. It's the only holiday I me sad. Yeah, exactly. Because you like Thanksgiving?
I'm just not that into Thanksgiving.
It's the only holiday I care about.
Really?
Yeah.
Halloween?
No, I hate Halloween.
Hate it.
Big Halloween scrooge.
All right.
That bums everybody out also.
I'm just here to be a bummer tonight, guys.
Sorry.
Well, I'll have you on Doug Loves Holidays sometime and try to turn you around on some
of those because I think they can be fun if you have the right
attitude. If there's turkey sandwiches on there.
Alright.
Do you watch a movie on the plane?
I didn't. I played trivia the whole time.
I was Virgin and they got the trivia
game on the back of the screen. And they have enough
questions you can play for an entire flight?
Yeah, pretty much. And it's weird. It's British
trivia so all the sports are like soccer questions
so I get more wrong than I usually would.
And when you're tired of playing it, do you just press Brexit?
We wrote that backstage.
No, we didn't!
Give a stoner some credit.
All right, let's find out about what you brought for the prize bag, Jacob.
You've got a big orange bag bag so you cross the street safely.
It's an unnecessarily large bag.
But Doug and I are friends with a band named Caveman from right here in New York City.
Yeah, some of them are here tonight, right?
Some of them are here.
Jimmy and Matt are here tonight.
What's up, guys?
And they donated a vinyl copy of their latest record.
Oh, lovely.
Yeah, which is called Otero Man, and it's an awesome record.
There you go, Caveman, you guys.
If anybody has a...
If the winner happens to have a silver Sharpie, they'll probably sign up for you.
They always have very spacey themes
on there. I got a t-shirt that's very spacey.
But it's Caveman.
Great local band. Support them.
You've said that
a couple of times tonight.
If a band's in New York
and they're playing, they're a local band?
These guys are actually New York natives.
Born and raised here?
Alright, cool. Matt, what do you
got? Now, in all fairness,
now listen,
today,
you told me today, you go,
you have to bring something for the grab bag.
I didn't know. On your other show, there's not a
grab bag. No, there's not.
But there is on this show. So I was looking around my
house.
It's going to be a little cheesy. cheesy it's gonna be a little corny I love it I think it's perfect well listen you know hold on let me just tell them what it is no no I want
to show them it's very okay it's a Matt Serra UFC action figure come on people I'm a fucking
action figure look at this look at those fucking'm a fucking action figure. Look at this. Look at those
fucking abs. Look at those.
You'll never see those again on me.
This is good.
I'm sorry. Come on.
It's Caveman on vinyl.
Come on.
We all just need to berate them into liking
our prizes.
I had to hype them up. But I love that thing,
man. Thank you. That's a valuable thing. Do you want to sign it? I'm to hype them up. But I love that thing, man. Thank you.
That's a valuable thing.
Do you want to sign it?
I'm going to sign it.
I didn't have time to sign it.
Here's a Sharpie.
You can sign it right now.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Okay.
Make it official.
You can't cheat.
I forgot how scrawny
and West Coast I was,
so it's good to be around you.
Sometimes I get...
I need to be put in my place sometimes Sammy
what do you got for the old
you're just throwing your action figure around
I'm up throwing Sammy
is it like a voodoo doll
let's put pins in it
I brought a couple things
this is a Sam Roberts wrestling podcast hoodie.
And on the back it says, Boo the Bad Guys.
Because that's what we do.
And yesterday I found a place that still buys back your DVD collection for like 10 cents per disc or whatever it is.
But they wouldn't take these.
Because they couldn't
find them in the system.
So I brought them for you guys.
Which titles are so bad
that you couldn't sell them for 10 cents?
This is the Pride Grand Prix
from 2003.
That's actually really good.
If anybody watches MMA, that's nice.
Anybody who likes that action figure is going to love this DVD.
I mean, right?
And then this is
a movie about Lucha Libre
called Life Behind the Mask.
If anybody's a fan of the least original
documentary titles.
That's what the winner gets.
Those are all great.
Thank you very much for bringing that stuff.
Thank you.
You almost got it back in the bag.
Jim Norton.
I stupidly went shopping
instead of just raiding my closet
like these three.
I was going to bring my
Florence Henderson action figure.
But I had to put a little dirt in the box first.
Okay, sorry.
Fucker.
What's wrong?
I brought some delicious treats
for somebody who's probably on drugs.
You're going to enjoy these.
A giant bag of peanut butter M&Ms.
I brought some milk chocolate pretzels.
The always popular coconut macaroons.
Are there any Werther's originals?
No, these are good gifts.
And, um, a box of coconut cream Larabars.
When I couldn't sell them back at the DVD store for 10 cents.
Oh, and also, as a little added thing, my all-access Gramercy Theater sticker.
It's nice, right?
That's good.
Yeah, like every 10th or 12th show they do here, the sticker is yellow like that, so just take a shot.
Here you are.
Here's my gifts.
Oh, thank you so much, Jim Norton.
You're welcome.
That's great.
Yeah.
It's really a great opportunity for someone as they go home tonight to just stop off at every homeless person and hook them up with something.
Who's going to get the caveman record?
Are you cold or hungry?
Which one?
Or do you love caveman?
You like vinyl?
I'll take the action figure, please.
I may be homeless, but I want to have fun.
That's cool. All right, let I want to have fun. That's cool.
All right, let's go down the line.
We like to talk about movies a little bit
before we get into the game portion of tonight's show.
Jacob, I asked you about movies on a plane,
and you said you played trivia.
So what was the last movie you saw?
The last movie I saw was Arrival.
Ah, yes.
Starring the woman whose name shall not be mentioned.
And aliens from outer space.
How did you like it?
It was beautiful.
Did you guys like it?
Nobody applauded?
I guess it's not like a movie you applaud for or get rowdy about.
But yeah, I cried a couple times.
You don't get rowdy about it, yeah.
Yeah, there was some crying that happened. I went alone.
Yeah, you got a couple of daughters. It'd feel good that the woman was smart in the movie and not just a dumb...
Well, I only have one daughter, Doug.
Oh, one daughter and that little pussy?
Yeah, I just dress him like that for fun.
But no, it's funny. Yeah, there was some emotional stuff with kids.
Did you see it?
Yeah, yeah.
That's what I meant, especially the thing with her daughter.
Definitely some emotional kid stuff.
It's funny, though.
I talked to my brother about it.
He's like the biggest naysayer about everything.
And he said, yeah, that was just a cheap shot with the kid.
He said, I cried, but I felt emotionally manipulated.
Not like it was a good movie.
And I thought, well, that's what fucking a good movie is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Old Yeller would have been great if it was about a dog that lived yeah but they
manipulated would have had a really good moral there at the end sometimes dogs
live it was good it was great take care of them all right Matt I know you were
talking about it backstage you went to the movie with your children today, movies.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
It's the Hawaiian one.
Moana.
Moana.
With The Rock.
With The Rock, yeah.
The Rock is the voice of Moana.
Yes, he was.
He's a demigod with some issues.
So you've seen it?
No.
Oh, okay.
Is that common knowledge that he's the fucking demigod?
Yeah, I think they throw that word knowledge that he's the fucking demigod yeah i think he's
i think they throw that word around a lot in the ads yeah no i that's that you'll laugh your
demigod damn head off is one of the quotes i think i never heard that yeah yeah yeah you know
it was fun even though it was for children yeah i mean i you know it wasn't um because you know
you won't catch Jim Norton
in one of those movies.
You'll catch him
right outside of the door.
That's so wrong.
That's fucking wrong.
You got to say those
faster on Jim
because he would have said it
if I didn't get it out.
It was candy
and a little net.
No shame.
No shame.
Yeah. As far as kids
movies goes
it was good
you sat through
the whole thing
oh yeah
you do a lot of texting
you catch up on some business
I don't do the texting
I can't stand that shit
I appreciate that
I want to smack those people
I swear to god
those
they're checking Facebook
the guys
you know
I was there
there's a family
they had a
where we go
they have the night
you ever go to the ones
with the recliners yeah yeah it's there. There's a family there. And where we go, they have the night. You ever go to the ones with the recliners?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, it's comfortable.
Yeah, it's great.
Great place for an expensive nap.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, for some people.
But other people, they think they're in their fucking living rooms.
They got their pajamas on.
They got the whoopies.
What do you call those things?
Not a whoopie.
What the fuck's a whoopie?
It's a whoopie.
No, no.
What do you call this shit?
A snuggie.
What do you call this shit?
A snuggie.
A snuggie. A what? A snuggie. A whoopie. A snuggie. fuck's a whoopie? It's whoopie. No, no, what do you call a whoopie? A snuggie. What do you call this shit? A snuggie.
A what?
A snuggie.
A whoopie.
A snuggie.
It's a snuggie.
I meant, I guess.
What the fuck's a whoopie?
A whoopie is a woman who looks like KRS-One.
No.
What?
No, they think they're in their living room.
That's what I'm saying.
Have you seen Mr. Mom?
Of course.
Oh, a fucking whoopie. The little kid wants his whoopie back, room. That's what I'm saying. Have you seen Mr. Mom? Of course. Oh, a fucking whoopee.
The little kid that wants his whoopee back, yeah.
That's the only whoopee I've ever heard of is the one kid.
I think the last time I heard that was Mr. Mom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was his little blanket, I guess.
That's a fucking classic, by the way, Mr. Mom.
Oh, there you go.
You're going to do great today.
There you go. You're gonna do great today.
The first question you had trouble with was,
name of movie you saw this afternoon.
Sam, what have you seen lately?
Well, this afternoon I watched
The Purge Election Year, which was really good.
Yeah, it was really good to see the interesting
twists and turns that trilogy makes.
I couldn't sleep without knowing where that was
going.
But I saw Edge of 17
earlier this weekend.
Oh yeah, with the
that girl and the other guy?
Yeah, the Seinfeld girl and Woody Harrelson.
Yeah, Woody Harrelson's her teacher,
and they kind of have frank discussions with each other
that doesn't seem like they would have
between a teacher and a girl student.
That's it.
I mean, Woody Harrelson, first of all,
his role on the trailer is way bigger
than it is in the movie itself.
But it strikes me as a writer
who wrote about a relationship she wanted to have with her teacher that wouldn't exist in 2016 because you're worried about being called a pedophile.
You know what I mean?
You're not going to have a high school kid in your car alone.
You know what I mean?
Accusations get thrown around these days.
So that took me out a little bit.
But other than that, it was very enjoyable.
What if you're the driver's ed teacher then?
Do you think you can get away with having a kid in the car?
There needs to be a second brake pedal in the car.
If it's just a standard brake pedal, no way.
No way.
The girl's got to have two opportunities to put the brakes on a situation.
Come on, you guys.
It's the holidays.
That's a great excuse for any behavior.
It's the holidays.
Come on.
Jim, have you seen any movies?
It's been a little while. What was the movie with Matthew McConaughey
where he played the...
There's like a drought
or something and his stupid daughter
he kept saying her name
Interstellar
yeah that's the last thing I saw in the theater
that's how you describe that space movie
I just remember
you left out the word astronaut
oh yeah I just I he kept... You left out the word astronaut. Oh.
Oh, yeah.
I just, I didn't like the... Yeah, I thought that was really well shot.
I just didn't like the way
he kept saying his daughter's name.
What was her name, Murph?
I fucking hated that.
Murph, where are you, Murph?
Oh, fuck you, Murph.
He said Murph a lot.
Yeah, I hated it.
But I liked the movie.
I just didn't like that part.
But I think that's the last thing
I saw in the theater.
Was that before or after The Conjuring 2?
I don't remember which is more recent.
That's a fun game.
I think it was before.
Before, yeah.
Okay, then Conjuring 2.
Anyone name Murph in that one?
Yeah.
Any Murph troubles?
Yeah, that's just, it can be frustrating.
I think a giveaway in a movie that a woman character is going to turn out to be insane
is if she addresses the male character by his first and last name every time she talks to him.
Of course, now I can't think of a good example.
But whenever it happens, I'm like, oh, this lady's
going to turn out to be crazy, and it's like, you know,
basic instinct or whatever.
I don't know if she did it in that movie.
I can't think of an example.
What's that? I can't think of an example.
I'm going to come up with a good one later.
I'm going to blurt it out.
What's that?
Demolition Man? She just calls him that
over and over again?
She calls him by his over and over again? What's her...
She calls him by his first and last name?
She doesn't turn out to be crazy in that movie, though.
What?
It's the line for the movie, I think.
Oh, okay.
Be quiet, person in the darkness.
He just disproved your theory with one example.
Who is that girl from Game of Thrones?
You kept calling him Jon Snow.
Oh, you know nothing, Jon Snow.
I fucking hate your grit.
Your grit.
Your grit?
That's my example.
Yeah.
Jon Snow, Jon Snow.
Oh, it drove me nuts.
You'll do this, Jon Snow.
You'll do it.
Fucking, I do.
She probably said that shit in bed, though, though.
Yeah, that would be nice.
I'm sorry, people.
I've been hanging out with this freak too much.
Jimmy, you're making me into a freak.
I'm sorry,
Doug.
Let's go back to
movies. There's warning signs,
Matt. If he wants to move the podcast
tapings into a van,
then you probably should start to
worry. I'm going to keep my antennas up.
Yeah, yeah. You'll be alright. I'm going to keep my antennas up. Yeah, yeah.
You'll be all right.
It's going to be cool.
I don't think I've seen a movie since last we spoke,
but that's just been like a few days, I think.
So let's... Holy shit, really?
I'm way behind schedule, you guys.
They were pretty smart to play that end team at the beginning.
This is the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin!
Wow.
What the fuck is going on right now?
I'm new to this, Doug.
I'll talk you through it, buddy.
I thought you were going to beat me around the table smoking weed.
But Matt, you said you were a big fan of the show in the beginning.
There's nothing going on.
You're just really stoned, Matt.
All right, so these people, they brought name tags,
and these signs represent themselves in some way
and usually have a movie tie-in
and there's even a I love you Matt Sarah poster over there. I see that. So just go pick whichever.
It's a dude holding it though. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Pick your favorite. I know I'd pick
from a lady if I were picking. So pick your favorite name tag or scary knitted face and
bring it back to you.
Oh, there's a dog from the Men in Black movies.
What's your name?
Angel.
So you changed it to Men in Angel?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
No joke needed there.
And while you guys pick your name tags,
we'll go to a brief commercial break. We'll be right back.
Today's episode is
brought to you in part by our friends at
Harry's. Dudes are notoriously
hard to shop for, but Harry's
is the perfect gift. This
holiday season, hook your dude up with a
limited edition holiday shave set.
It's beautiful, thoughtful, and
practical. We love Harry's
shaving products here at DLM Headquarters.
Always a close, comfortable shave at a great price.
If you hadn't heard of them before, Harry's was started by two best friends, Jeff and Andy,
who were fed up with being overcharged for razors,
so they started their own company to give people what they deserve,
a great shave with a great razor at a fair price. This holiday, Harry's is
offering a limited edition shaving set. It's got a midnight blue chrome razor handle, which you can
get engraved with your initials. It's got three of Harry's German engineered five blade cartridges
that provide a close, comfortable shave. It's got foaming shave cream that smells amazing and it's all in a
beautifully designed gift box. Goes for 30 bucks at harrys.com. They also offer handles and sets
starting at just 10 bucks if you haven't tried Harry's for yourself. Free shipping ends on
December 9th so act now. Go to harrys.com right now to get a limited edition holiday shave set while supplies last.
And don't forget to use the enter code Doug, D-O-U-G, at checkout for five bucks off.
That's harrys.com, and the code is Doug.
Today's episode is also brought to you in part by jackthreads.com.
When was the last time you ordered clothes online and got to try them on
before paying for them? Never-ish, right? Well, that's exactly what jackthreads.com does. You
can try anything on at home for free and you only pay for what you keep. Whether it's a big name
brand or the Jack Threads in-house line, you can be sure you're 100% in love with the items you ordered before spending a cent.
We had a bunch of stuff sent to DLM headquarters.
And man, anything that didn't fit.
I think everything fit.
But anything that didn't fit, we could just send it back.
You can choose anything you want and try it on at home for free.
You'll have seven days to decide if it's working for you. JackThreads gives you everything you need to send things back. You can choose anything you want and try it on at home for free. You'll have seven days to
decide if it's working for you. Jack Threads gives you everything you need to send things back,
packing tape and a prepaid shipping label. It couldn't be easier. That's why I never send
things back is because nobody makes it easy. Jack's Threads does. Go to jackthreads.com and
enter code Doug when you submit your tryout for 20% off anything you keep. That's jackthreads.com and enter code Doug when you submit your tryout for 20% off anything you keep.
That's JackThreads.com, code Doug to save 20% off on anything you keep.
Never buy before you try ever again.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Great job, everybody.
Lots of very festive name tags.
Let's start with you, Jacob.
Who are you playing for?
You always get a Star Wars one, don't you?
I try to get Star Wars if there is one.
These people beg me.
But I'm not on it, so I was a little bummed.
But it's Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Steff.
Oh, okay.
And there's Steff and you and Leonard Maltin
and someone else and someone else.
Amy Ann.
Sure.
I don't know who the other...
Who's the guy?
Who's that guy down there?
It's my boyfriend.
Oh, your boyfriend.
Aw.
Fucking bullshit.
Why did you put his name on the spaceship when there's other characters you could have put his face on? I mean, you put his name on the spaceship
when there's other characters you could have put his face on?
I mean, you put his face on the spaceship.
But you could have made him Yoda or Mace Windu,
but you made him a spaceship.
Maybe her boyfriend has a spaceship body, Jacob.
Maybe you're insulting right now.
Is her boyfriend a transformer?
But good job, Steph.
And this is,
Katie's always knitting things,
and so Matt picked the Borg.
No, but no, I fucked up.
No, why?
What did you think it was? I thought this,
I'm a comic nerd, I thought it was fucking Deadshot from Suicide Squad.
No, when you first look, anybody?
No? Well, alright.
It's like if Deadshot went to some sort of weird make fun of Whitey party.
Listen, I mean, I saw it from this angle.
The black kind of blended in.
So I don't even watch fucking Star Trek, to be honest with you.
That's all right.
No offense, people.
It's still a fun selection.
I'd like to see you fight somebody with that on.
What's that?
I'd like to see you put that on and fight somebody.
I'd have one eye.
Yeah, so...
I'd still fucking do damage, Doug.
Don't get me wrong.
I'll take a fucking arm off.
I'm not bragging.
I'm not bragging, but I'm very dangerous.
Don't let the sense of humor fool you.
But, um...
When I said fight somebody, I meant, like, Sam or something.
What?
No, no, no.
You guys are my friends.
Do I read this?
Because everybody else up here is so tough.
You don't do anything.
You've done it.
Oh, I did it already?
Yeah, just drop it on the floor.
Oh, shit.
Good.
I'm seeing how it works around here, though.
I'm picking up what you're putting down.
You know what, Matt?
Fuck Star Trek.
I'm going to put it down on the floor.
Okay, read it.
Sam, what do you got?
Is your name?
Andy.
My name's Andy. Oh, what do you got? Is your name? Ant. My name's Ant.
Oh, that's great then.
Okay.
It says fantastic beasts and where to find them, but his name is Ant.
Is that what you said?
Yeah, Ant.
Yeah, so that works.
His name is Ant.
It's right in there.
Ant.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
It's a picture of him and then Rosario Dawson and Doug Benson.
Yeah. How did Rosario Dawson and Doug Benson. Yeah.
How did Rosario Dawson get in there?
She said that was cute,
so I put her on. We took that picture together.
She said he was cute.
She'll probably really
appreciate that.
He wants her to have a shout out. She's a nerd.
She listens to this. We're just all going to believe
that story that Rosario Dawson
said that to us cute?
Really? Okay.
Good for you, dude. She probably doesn't say it
very often when she meets people. She's probably
not very nice like that. She probably
really meant it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Alright, good job.
Ant.
Anthony? Yeah. Okay. Alright. Just wanted to make sure you weren't, you know, Ant. Anthony?
Yeah.
Okay, all right.
Just wanted to make sure you weren't, you know,
Ant isn't your born-given name.
It was a small baby.
Jim?
I got the Royal Tedden Bombs because I like the fact that there's lights on it.
I thought it was a nice, a lot of effort
to put into a poster.
And you put a lot of faces on of people
who I'm not sure who they are.
What's that?
They're all you.
What?
Even the...
One of them is black, sir.
He put his face over every...
I see Bill Murray's face.
You left him alone.
Well, how did this start blinking like this?
Did I do something?
It's on a cycle.
Oh, so it gets cranky.
Yeah, the other sides...
Okay, I'm going to leave that right there.
The other sides are going to start blinking around
at the same time
because they're all on the same cycle.
Because they're all on the same cycle.
One person clapping at the balcony.
All right, so we're going to play some games,
and there might be some confusion here and there,
but I've got faith in everybody.
I think this is going to go all right.
Do you use IMDb, Matt,
Sarah? Do you ever look stuff up on IMDb?
Absolutely not. Should I?
Well, I can't recommend it highly enough. If you're like,
what was that movie I saw today?
And you type in The Rock, and then it would say Moana.
And you'd be all excited.
Or Google. I guess you could Google.
I'm a Googler.
Yeah.
That's fucking creepy, I know.
So, IMDb is the Internet Movie Database, and they list every movie that somebody's done,
and they also like to do a thing at the top of the page and that's what this game is going to be based on.
The game's called Jason and Deb's IMDB game.
And on...
Some shit fell over.
That's how exciting
that announcement was.
People love this game, Matt.
At the top
of everybody's...
Each person has an IMDB page page that's an actor, actress.
And at the top of the page, it'll say most known for.
And it'll list four credits.
And just as an example, I looked up Jim Norton today.
Oh, no.
And Jim, do you have any idea what would be in your top four?
It's not just movies movies it can also be television
but do you
do you know what might be in your top four
on IMDB
I'm going to guess Spiderman
yeah that's in there
is it only is it show TV shows
it's four things but yeah
it could be anything from your career
that was filmed you know
Lucky Louie?
That didn't make it. God damn it.
I hear you're going to make it soon so you can rearrange your own top four,
though, so you can maybe go in and put Lucky Louie
in there. Oh, that'd be wonderful. It's the only two
I have. What else would you...
You got other stuff you could put
in there. They came up with four things. You've only
named one of them. Don't try to help.
No, help me. I was in Furry Vengeance.
Brendan Fraser.
Classic. Yes.
American Dummy with Otto and George. Thank you, sir.
Is that
up there?
I wish I could see that guy.
It'd be great if he had a dummy in his lap
that was saying that.
I don't know. That's not in there. Godfather 3?
Mm-mm.
I was saying that. I don't know. That's not in there. Godfather 3? Mm-mm. I was in that.
I had a small part in that.
Oh, you're the baby?
No, no, no.
I was the guy in the cab
yelling,
it's the mafia!
It's the mafia?
I ducked.
Yeah, yeah. You're like a whistleblower on the mafia. And I ducked. Yeah.
You were like a whistleblower on the mafia, but just got out of there.
Comedian is your number one.
No, it's not, though.
It shouldn't be.
Jerry Seinfeld's documentary on comedians.
Of course, why would Jerry interview me for that?
He didn't.
I was in it because Sherrod Small
was the emcee and Jerry was going on
and they're talking at the comedy
cellar and the camera pans
and I'm the guy on
stage for half a second.
In fairness to Jerry, he did get me
a credit for it, but I have no speaking lines
in that. You passed by me very quickly.
Alright.
I thought you were great in it.
Real natural.
They have The Tonight Show.
That's your number three thing.
You were on that quite a bit with Jay Leno.
I didn't think it was just regular TV appearances.
Yeah, it's weird, right?
I guess I was wrong.
You're being humble, by the way.
I knew I did that, but I thought it was going to be other things. And, it's weird, right? I guess I was wrong. You're being humble, by the way. No, I mean, I knew I did that,
but I thought it was giving me other things.
And then the fourth thing,
which somebody helped out by yelling out out of turn,
is Zach and Mary make a podcast.
Oh, right.
They really made a porno.
I just thought it would be fun to change it.
I didn't even know you were changing it.
It's not as titillating.
Yeah, everybody just thought I said porno.
Yeah.
But the corrections department would have gotten an earful.
So, yeah, you were in that?
Yeah, I had very...
Kevin Smith had been on a radio show,
and Kevin's, like, a good guy,
and he promised to put me in a movie,
so he flew me to Pittsburgh,
and I just played one of the guys auditioning,
and I think I said something like,
yeah, yeah, work the balls, work the balls.
And Seth Rogen's in the scene,
but he wasn't even in the room.
They edited to make it look...
Who's the girl in that?
Elizabeth Banks.
Okay.
They edited to make it look like I'm in the room.
Let me just give myself a point real quick.
Oh, good.
But she wasn't there either?
No, no, he was there,
but he wasn't in the room when I shot that.
Yeah, yeah.
Really cool story.
It's my inside the actor's studio story.
I thought you were great in it.
They're like, where was Seth?
I'm like, I think he was outside,
but we talked after.
Jim, could you answer this next question
in your character from that film?
Sure.
answer this next question in your character from that film? Sure.
What else do you like
besides tickling the balls?
Um,
I like a finger, like my ass
is not, it's very lightly hairy
and I like a finger like brushed lightly
in the hair.
Wait, are you just answering the question or is that the character?
That's me, Jim Gordon.
Oh, no, I wanted the character.
Oh, that's also the character's answer.
It's the same thing.
I brought my own life into the character.
Why do you think I was so fucking good at it?
Yeah, it worked in Comedian.
Why wouldn't it work again?
All right, so that's how the top four works, Matt.
And so this is a game where I'm going to start naming somebody,
some film actor's top four.
We don't have a buzzer or anything?
No, you buzz in with your own name.
You want to try it?
Oh, you're going to, just everybody gets a different,
all right, I'll follow along.
They all have their own names.
You just yell it out.
Like yours is Matt.
Oh, we just yell shit out?
Buzz in.
What the fuck is that?
If you want to answer,
you got to buzz in
with your own name.
Do you want to try it, Matt?
Okay.
Okay, try it.
What the fuck does that mean?
What am I going to say?
What am I going to go for?
What the fuck am I?
Matt?
Just go Matt.
What the fuck is that?
Yeah, just go Matt.
You got it. Alright, I'm going to do that. As soon as you think you know the answer just go, Matt. You got it.
As soon as you think you know the answer.
It's tough.
You're going to want to yell out the answer,
but you got to say your name first.
Go ahead.
I'm good.
I'm in the zone.
I'm ready.
I'm ready to rock and roll.
We don't have buzzers, so you just say your own name.
Okay.
Let me tell you more about this game,
because there is more.
Okay.
I know. It's too much to learn.
When I start naming the top four, the first one, you know, you can buzz in then,
but you're taking a real chance, because there's lots of actors in the first movie, probably.
How can you know which one?
You hear that second one, it's going to be a great clue, and you can put it together.
So if you buzz in early and miss, it's negative one
point. It's another reason why you don't want to do it.
But if you buzz
in and get it right, you get to guess
kind of like Jim did just now with his own credits,
you get to guess what other titles
would be in the top four for bonus points.
Oh God, am I confused?
Well, that's
why I said backstage, some of this is going to confuse
you, but... I'm having fun though
I'm with you I'm not getting nervous
I used to fucking fight in a cage
for a living
this is worse
it's fucking scary
I know it's scary
alright guys here's the first round
we're going to play like four rounds and I got a tiebreaker
then there's other games too
you don't have to win every game to win at all it's the first round. We're going to play like four rounds, and I got a tiebreaker. Then there's other games, too.
You don't have to win every game to win at all.
It's the most important thing is to have fun.
Oh, did you hear that once?
Yeah, just once.
I've been around some dreary-ass people my whole life.
All right.
Who's top four on IMDb starts with Reservoir Dogs?
See what I'm saying?
There's a bunch of people in that.
You have to really take a risk to jump in there.
Here's the second title.
The Grand Budapest Hotel.
Jacob.
Who was in both of those Jacob Harvey Keitel
that is correct
so Jacob gets a point for that
and now he gets to guess for two more points
two more
Harvey Keitel movies
Pulp Fiction and The Bad Lieutenant
from Dust Till Dawn and the bad lieutenant.
From Dust Till Dawn and the piano.
That's fair.
That's what I was going to guess.
Did I get the point?
Yes, you get the mentalist point.
So that's the first round, Matt.
Did that make sense, all of that?
Now I know what's going on.
Now it's going to happen. Now it's going to come together.
And you really do say your own name.
I thought you were fucking with me, to be honest with you.
That's why I wasn't saying anything.
You don't think I saw fucking Reservoir Dogs,
Doug Benson? I'm sorry.
But he said Jake. I'm like, oh, shit.
I can't tell.
You're such a dry human. I don't know. Well, you're fucking with me now.
I'm sorry.
I got it.
I don't have dry humor.
I have cotton mouthed humor.
All right, here we go.
Here's the next round.
Who's top four starts with Fargo?
And then the next movie is
Reservoir Dogs.
Jacobs.
Steve Buscemi.
That's correct.
Two more Buscemi's.
Big Lebowski.
Billy Madison.
I drew a blank.
He's like in everything.
I couldn't think of anything.
Oh, fuck TV shows.
I fucked that up.
No, you didn't.
Big Lebowski was correct.
Okay.
And then the last one for him was Monsters, Inc.
Oh, really?
Okay.
That's also fair.
I was thinking Boardwalk Empire might have been.
Yeah.
All right.
So now Jacob has three points.
And then there's everybody else.
But it's not fair.
You're standing close to him.
The sound gets to me first. But it's not fair, you're standing close to him.
The sound gets to me first.
Thank you.
Thank you, Doug.
Okay, here's the next round.
We're gonna whisper it into Matt's ear.
Tap out. He's such a nice guy.
I would never have the nerve to say that.
You know those UFC guys that always look mad?
I wouldn't do that to them.
The what now?
Nothing.
The UFC guys that what?
You know how some of them always seem surly.
You're a friendly guy.
Oh, I'm very friendly.
Almost too friendly.
Yeah.
You're going to snap.
All right, so here's the third round, you guys.
Okay.
This is fucking awkward, man, with you over my shoulder.
I'm doing my best.
I'm doing my best to relax. How's this? How's this? All right, I'm sorry. I'm not my best. I'm doing my best to relax.
How's this? How's this? Alright, I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to be difficult.
It's my first time here.
The first movie in this person's top four is Reservoir Dogs.
The second movie is Rush Hour.
Tim Roth.
Jim.
Matt.
That was Tim.
Jim.
Matt.
Oh, wait.
Is it too late to say that, Jim?
Jim.
Is it too late to say Matt if he didn't say it?
Is this the way the game works?
I don't know.
I'm not trying to fuck my guts. It's not too late.
It's not too late, because Tim Roth is wrong.
But he buzzed in.
Ellie Roth.
No.
Is there an Ellie Roth?
What?
Did I fuck up?
It's Ellie.
It's Eli.
It's a man.
Eli Roth is a man.
No, no, no.
It's how I pronounce it.
Eli Roth.
You said Ellie.
No, no, no, no.
It's a lady's name.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Eli.
Is that even a name?
Not even.
No.
I'm sorry.
I'm just getting warmed up.
It's like a slow first round in a fight.
You watch.
That happens.
That happens.
Watch what's going to happen.
All right.
It's just down to Sam and Jacob on this one.
Because they haven't guessed wrong.
We've got Reservoir Dogs, Rush Hour,
Footloose.
Jacob.
Who is it?
Is it Michael Madsen?
No.
That's what I was going to guess.
So Sam, you want to guess now or do you want the fourth title?
Which Footloose was it?
That's true.
That's fair.
Okay, yeah,
the first one.
Oh.
Well, then give me
the last one
and I'll take a guess
after you give me
the last one.
Yeah, I think you might
have a guess, maybe.
I don't know.
Pale Rider.
Kevin Bacon.
So it's Reservoir Dogs, Rush Hour, Footloose.
Chris Tucker.
Pale Rider.
I think.
No, Tucker was in Jackie Brown.
The correct answer here is Chris Penn.
The great Chris Penn.
Late great Chris Penn.
If all of us lost a point on that one, I guess.
Or is it a wash?
No, when you buzz in and miss, you lose
a point, but I guess it's sort of a wash since you
all did.
Yeah.
Good job, you guys.
Keeping the
math easy for me.
This is the worst pen.
Here's the fourth and potentially...
I know he's dead, whatever.
I prefer the pens that live.
Alright, here we go.
We wrote that backstage.
Stop saying that.
Okay, the first movie in this person's top four is Reservoir Dogs.
It's a good chance to catch up to Jacob if you want to jump in right now.
Jim Norton.
Who is it, Jim?
Michael Madsen.
That is correct.
Yes.
Fuck!
That was like Russian roulette right there.
He knew.
So now, Jim, you get one point for that.
You were at negative one, so now you have zero.
Good.
If you can name three more Michael Madsen movies
that match the three that I have
on this piece of paper,
you will be tied with Jacob.
The Getaway, Free Willy,
The Getaway, Free Willy, and Kill Bill.
Gasps.
Michael Manson gasps.
He didn't.
He couldn't. He couldn't.
Not like this.
Full title.
What's that?
Full title.
Full title of what?
It's Free Willy
Dicks Out for Harambe.
No, I'll give it to you
because it's still impressive.
Kill Bill Volume 1
is what they listed.
They went with Volume 1.
And then you missed it
on the other two.
They went with Donnie Brasco
and the Hateful Eight.
I've thought of the Hateful Eight,
but it was too new.
I mean, Free Willy.
It feels real new, yeah, doesn't it?
It's so nice.
Remember the whale was stuck and they fucked it?
And they smacked it and called it a stupid asshole whale.
All right, so Jacob won that game, but let's do one more for fun.
Whose top four starts with Pulp Fiction?
Then.
Jacob. Tim Roth. That... Jacob.
Tim Roth.
That's correct.
Reservoir Dogs, The Incredible Hulk, and Planet of the Apes.
Ooh, Planet of the Apes.
Like, you can't be proud of that.
Well, you wouldn't know it was him, maybe, if you turned it on in the middle.
Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, that was the theme that emerged in that game
is all the answers
were reservoir dogs.
And like I said,
Jacob won,
so Jacob gets to go first
in our next game.
Ooh.
And it's a little something
called ABCD's Nuts.
Yeah!
Okay.
Now this is a spelling game. I call it a spelling game and then people go, it's not really a spelling game.
I call it a spelling game.
And people go, it's not really a spelling game.
But we're going to take a word or phrase or a name.
And you guys are going to take turns when it gets to you,
the next letter in that word or phrase.
You have to come up with a movie title that begins with that letter.
And movies that have the at the beginning
begin with T. And movies that have
A at the, you know,
A at the front.
As soon as you said it's a spelling game,
Matt Serra just leaned in and mumbled,
this is not good.
Fucking Sam throwing me under the bus.
It's saying it in the
mic, you prick.
I'll tell you what the next
letter is each time so really
you don't have to know how to spell
you just have to recognize letters and
what words they
yeah you do have to spell
yeah that's spelling
I wish I could live this game
through Matt's eyes
I just got fucking used to the last game to be honest with you
it took me three questions to go, oh, the two movies.
But this is how easy it is.
This is how easy it is. When I get to you, I'll say the letters
M, all you gotta do is say Moana,
and then you've succeeded.
But if you match the movie that I wrote
down ahead of time, if we have a miracle match
between us, of all the movies ever made,
then you automatically
win the game.
We'll start with Jacob.
Then we'll go to Matt and Sam and Jim.
It's totally easy.
And we're going to spell kleptocracy.
Just kidding.
Is that a word? Yeah yeah it is now i saw it on twitter a lot today no we're gonna smell
in honor of him being here a beloved guest of the show we're gonna smell sam roberts
you can smell sam roberts right man i can handle that though yeah It's D-O-U-C-H-E. It's the easiest.
It's incorrect.
Just Matt.
That's not the way to spell it.
Don't let him confuse you.
I never had heard your middle name before.
It's interesting.
No, so Sam Roberts is what we're going to spell.
So this is going to be super easy.
Start with you, Jacob.
Just name any movie that begins with the letter S.
It's Sam Roberts, not Sam Robots, which I like to call him from time to time.
Okay.
Common misconception.
We're just both obsessed with this whole robot thing.
Yeah.
Not happy about it.
Especially after Westworld
oh Jesus
will people get off of
going to jail if they say I thought it was
what do they call them in the show
a guide
a host
I thought she was a host
no because you still did it
ok
you're going to find a lot of dead bodies I thought she was a host. No, because you still did it. Okay.
You're going to find a lot of dead bodies with parts of their head cut open
looking for the robot parts.
Fuck, it's not a robot.
That's manslaughter, though, instead of murder.
Because he didn't mean to murder a person.
You meant to kill a robot.
Oh, I like that.
Different deal.
You get out with good behavior?
Yeah, it's not life.
It's a long time, but you can
live a life after.
Alright.
Jacob, the first letter
in Sam Roberts' S, name any movie
that begins with the letter S.
Serpico.
That is a movie that begins with the letter S.
I went with a classic Woody Allen film called Sleeper.
That was my S.
A is your letter, Matt, Sarah.
Name any movie that begins with the letter A.
Animal House.
No.
Oh, fuck.
That's National Lampoon's Animal House.
Try again.
Oh, shit.
I thought I had it already. Animal House. Try again. Oh, shit! I was...
I thought I had it already.
So just you want something with an A?
Yeah, I mean, I don't mind Animal House,
but if you could come up with another one, that'd be good.
Oh, yeah? Like right now?
Yeah.
Something with an A.
Yeah.
Something with an A.
Some of these bright lights
Alright I'll take Animal House
Animal House is not bad no
No the Animal House is great
I went with
AI artificial intelligence
Sam
M
Moneyball
I went with moon
R for
Jim Norton
Repo Man
Yeah
I went with Runaway
Remember that movie Runaway? Gene Simmons was in it
Your boy Gene Simmons was in it
I don't know why I call him your boy
I love Gene Simmons
Did he play a bad guy in that?
Yeah
Tom Selleck was in it, and there were robot spiders.
Ooh.
Yeah.
O is your letter, Jacob.
Oblivion.
That is correct.
Knew it.
Knew it.
What was the pattern that was emerging?
It was like futuristic dystopian stuff.
No.
No?
No.
Just sci-fi? No. Shh. People love to yell out when they know.
Matt, you won the game, Jacob, but let's keep going. B. B.
B. You're like halfway to an answer, actually.
Are we getting timed?
Say the next most obvious word.
B, what's this game about?
B.
What is Doug Love?
What is Doug Love?
Yeah, exactly.
Doug loves movies.
What's that about?
Yeah.
Okay, all right. All right, now we're spelling.
B.
B.
Doug loves. Doug. Bee. Bee. Doug loves.
Doug loves movies.
Doug loves bee movies.
Bee movies, that is.
Bee movie, he got it.
He got it.
I was going to say.
Throw it up.
Standing ovation.
I'm getting the hang of this.
I'm getting the hang of this.
I went with Blade Runner.
E, Sam, you can do this.
Ernest goes to jail.
That would be my second favorite.
No, I went with Ex Machina.
Oh, yeah, that would have been smart.
Yeah, yeah. R for Jim.
Ringu.
You're so worldly, Jim.
I went with Robot and Frank.
T, Jacob.
The Terminator? No! Oh, you could have.
THX 1138.
Oh, fuck.
I'm sorry, George. I'm sorry. Back to you, Matt. An S movie that's got robots in it. I know it! Oh, Star Wars! You hope! No? No. Yes? Huh? Yes? No. Star Wars? Let me see it! Say it, Sam. Short circuit. Short circuit. Short fucking circuit.
Number five is alive.
Johnny Five is alive.
What?
Johnny Five.
Oh, I guess so.
I don't know.
What's the score, Doug?
The score is... Jacob.
My new Twitter bio.
Now, each game just gets you the opportunity to go first in the next game.
So it's the final game of the night is really going to be for all the chips.
And it's going to be a really, really difficult one.
I'm saving myself.
Place your bets now.
No donuts, man.
What?
Yeah.
What?
If there's time at the end of the show, there's donuts on the stage,
and this audience has given us permission
to hurl them at them as hard as we can.
Yeah?
Be pegged by Matt.
Yeah.
Maybe that Captain America shield
can move to a different spot,
because that's just really precarious up there.
Like, bring it down here or something.
But later.
Later.
Let's play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
Apologies to whatever they're
doing here tomorrow night at the Gramercy. Oh, my show.
I can go long.
Alright, so
this is a, I go to you one at a time.
We'll start with Jacob and we'll switch the order around.
Then we'll go to Jim, then Sam, and then Matt.
And basically, Matt, movies have taglines.
Yeah.
You know, it'll be on the poster or at the end of the ad or something.
I'm going to be good at this one.
Like in space, no one can hear you scream.
Ah, aliens.
Yeah. Alien. Alien. Alien. Alien. Yeah, no one can hear you scream. Ah, aliens. Yeah.
Alien.
Alien.
Alien.
Yeah, yeah.
Calm down, Jacob.
You're ahead.
He's all of a sudden, alien.
I'm only kidding, Jacob.
Well, I got you on the ropes.
I got to go for the knockout.
I'm up three points, you little fuck.
Calm down, Jacob.
All right, calm down.
That's aliens, dog.
Alien.
Spelling. We're getting there.
We're going to get there.
Hey, Matt, do you like all the Star Wars movies?
Oh, fuck yeah.
I was watching The Force Awakens earlier.
Yeah?
Is that your favorite one?
I enjoy it.
It's better than the prequels.
I wanted to fucking kill myself.
Calm down.
You're making somebody nervous somewhere.
I just peed my pants a little bit, actually.
I peed my pants.
I'm not going to lie.
That was the bravest thing I've ever done in my life.
I've never done anything that scary.
Oh, you like the prequels?
I'm a huge prequel guy, yeah.
Oh, so you're that guy.
I'm that guy.
Oh.
I always wanted to meet that guy.
I'm the guy. Holy fuck. Anakin's to meet that guy. I'm the guy.
I'm him.
Holy fuck.
Anakin's heard a lot of the falling on hard times I heard.
The first one, yeah, Jake Lloyd.
Yeah, yeah, that's upsetting.
He's not in good shape.
And the other guy's never been seen since Jumper.
Fucking.
It's Korea fucking.
See, you actually know movies.
Why are you sucking so bad?
Okay.
All right.
That was good.
He knew Jumper. He's more of a freestyle movie knower
He's gotta just know the movies
That he wants to talk about at that moment
But the Force Awakens was good though, no?
Yeah, I liked it
You guys liked the Force Awakens, no?
You had issues with that?
I fucking liked it, man
Is that the newest one?
Let me tell you
When he was with Kylo Ren You had issues with that? I fucking liked it, man. Is that the newest one? Let me tell you. Is that the new one?
When he was with Kylo Ren,
when he had her up against the fucking thing,
and he's saying, I'll be your teacher,
and then once she fucked the Force,
she said, the Force, the music comes on,
nipples on, right there.
Oh, the music came on,
just like when that fucking lightsaber
went right past him to our fucking hand.
The nipple test.
Cut fucking glass with these things.
Jacob, we got to get this guy on Star Wars Minute.
That would be amazing.
You'd be very good at it.
Probably better than I'm doing tonight.
Yeah, Jim, it's the most recent one,
and it's pretty fun if you have some time to kill.
I saw it.
Oh, you did?
Yeah, I was there.
Why did you like it?
I don't like the bad guy in it. I don't like the bad guy in it.
I don't like the bad guy with fucking emotional daddy issues.
He was powdery.
He was a little powdery.
Yeah, he was awful.
Yeah, my dad was fucking awful.
He pulls his helmet off and he's got all that beautiful hair.
It really bugged me, yeah.
How great was it, though, with Han Solo and Chewbacca
and he's doing the smuggling again and they're fucking in the middle?
It's so hard to bite my tongue
right now.
Oh, you had a problem with that?
The fucking little pod racers and
holy shit. Oh, there's Jabba the
There's Jabba the Hutt and his
family. Oh, there's the Hutts.
It's the Hutts, everybody.
It's the Hutts. Fucking kill me.
Piece of shit.
Listen to me. Listen to me. The lightsaber
battle with Darth Maul
saved it from being a total piece of shit.
That saved it. That's fucking awesome.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to listen.
I'm passionate about that. Would you like to start a podcast with me?
Where we just
yell about this.
Star Wars fights.
Star Wars wars. Star Wars wars.
Star Wars wars.
Alright, so
taglines.
I think that's what we were talking about.
Star Wars
of course was a long time ago
in a galaxy far, far away.
So, I'm going to say
a tagline to Jacob,
and he gets the first guess of what it is.
If he can't think of it or doesn't say the right answer,
then we'll go to Jim.
So, Jacob, what movie had the tagline,
Love, period, pain, period, glory, period?
Love, pain, glory.
What was it? Glory? Glory. Period. Love, pain, glory.
Was it glory?
No, I'm sorry. It was love, pain.
Jim, do you have a guess?
Love, pain, glory?
Yeah.
Lolita. Incorrect.
Sam?
Valentine's Day?
It's like the softcore porn version of Gymsan.
That would be bad for that, but no.
Matt?
Creed.
No, that can't be it.
Is that it?
That movie was shit, too, by the way.
What?
What?
Hey, man.
Hey, I'm a Rocky fan.
Fuck Creed.
It sucked.
I don't know.
I didn't like it.
So fuck it.
What, I gotta like every movie you like?
I had you with Star Wars.
You turn it on me?
How about those pod races, what, I gotta like every movie you like? I had you in Star Wars, you turned it on me? How about those pod races, huh, guys?
You know, wouldn't anybody want that shit?
You thought you'd get them on your side with that shit.
I love the pod races, man.
Listen, we could do this all day.
But I'm gonna tell you the answer.
That was the tagline for a motion picture called The Wrestler.
Oh, I should have known that.
Starring Mickey Rourke, yeah.
Let's try another one, you guys.
We'll start with you, Jacob, again.
Family is worth fighting for.
Family is worth fighting for.
Fuck, I feel like I know this one.
Right?
Family.
It feels familiar.
Family-er.
Creed.
No.
Jim.
Family is worth fighting for? Mm-hmm. Precious. No. Jim. Family is worth fighting for.
Precious.
No.
It's hard to find someone to be close to. I think that one was fighting with.
Or eating for.
Sam.
Sam.
I stand by it.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
No.
Matt.
Family.
Family is worth fighting for.
Cinderella Man?
No.
It's a good guess though.
Everybody's like,
oh,
maybe.
He had a family
and depression and shit.
The answer to family
is worth fighting for
is Foxcatcher.
I'm kidding.
It's a great movie.
I love this movie.
Warrior.
Oh, fuck.
That was the tagline
for Warrior.
I know that movie.
Yeah, they had that
billboard on the 10 forever. That's where I saw it. There you go. You know what's sad? tagline for Warrior. I know that movie. Yeah, they had that billboard on the 10 forever.
That's where I saw it.
There you go.
You know what's sad?
I went to the fucking premiere of that guy's movie.
That's fucking sad.
Next time you go to a premiere, memorize the tagline.
Make yourself useful.
Let's do another one, starting with Jacob.
Jacob.
Let's do another one starting with Jacob.
He's not lean.
He's not mean.
He's not your average hero.
I'm sorry.
Let me read that again.
He's not lean.
He's not mean.
He's nacho average hero.
I'd be nacho Libra.
That is correct.
I'll need his hand to make a point.
That was an easy one, yeah.
All right, you got to go first
on this next one though, Matt.
Wait, is that the order
we were going in?
No, Jim.
You're going to Jim,
but I'll take it.
No, Jim.
Which movie
had this tagline, Jim?
All he needed
was a lucky break.
There's more.
Then one day, she moved in.
All he needed was a lucky break.
Then one day, she moved in.
I already guessed Lolita.
It wasn't right the other time, so it might be this time.
That was so perfect.
All he needed was a break, and one day she moved in.
Yeah.
I'm going to go Godfather 2.
Sam?
Driving Miss Daisy.
No. They don't know what they're groaning.
What you're groaning about.
There's a black person and a white person in that,
and there's racial tension in the country, so wow.
I think people are more about just dealing with their old age.
Yeah, Jessica Tandy was great.
Old lady sex comedies.
Yeah.
Jacob?
Wait, Matt.
Sorry, Matt.
You can go to Jacob
if you want.
Could you say the thing again?
Yeah.
All he needed was a lucky break.
Then one day she moved in.
Oh, man. That's a rough one. All right. All he needed was a lucky break. Then one day she moved in. Oh, man.
That's a rough one.
All right.
All he needed was a lucky break.
Shit, is there a timer on this thing?
I don't fucking know.
Nothing's coming to my mind right now.
It's all right.
It can't be a TV show, right?
I was going to say that.
No, Connor.
Well, you know, you never know.
Maybe you'll say the name of a TV show that's also the name of a movie.
Oh, it could be that.
Right? Give of a movie. Oh, it could be that. Right?
Give it a shot.
All he needed was a...
Author?
No.
That has nothing to do with anything.
I'm really useless.
Are you caught between the moon and New York City?
That's the song that got me.
No?
You regret having me on, be honest.
I mean, are you right now in your fucking stone haze going,
why did I invite this guy?
I'm sorry.
Is that your guess, Arthur?
No, that's not my guess.
No.
No.
What was the thing again?
The audience, they want to know. Everybody's in with this with me. Don't worry about it. Everybody's in my guess. No. No. What was the thing again? The audience, they want to know.
Everybody's in with this with me.
Don't worry about it.
Everybody's in with me.
You're not going to get it.
Even Clone Wars next to me.
He's into this.
Come on, Jacob.
Bury the hatchet, Jacob.
You're not going to get it.
Let me leave on top of that.
Stop thinking of something, Jacob.
I knew you were a top come on
was it on me or did you guess
no he doesn't have a guess
I'm going to say Million Dollar Baby
didn't you already get a guess on this one
no it started on Jim
Million Dollar Baby
Million Dollar Baby
I don't know.
It seems like a...
Her getting into a coma is his lucky break?
No, when she moved in.
There was a...
She came to his gym.
But also, it's a sad movie.
It wouldn't have such a wacky...
What?
Then she moved in.
I don't know.
Well, you don't...
Then she hit her head on a stool.
You're adding tone to it.
Yeah, you're right.
The movie was a classic called Vision Quest.
Vision Quest, the wrestling movie.
I love all these movies.
I've seen them so many times.
I just don't know about that.
Who the fuck knows that?
All right.
Well, now you're catching on that there's a theme, maybe.
Yeah.
That's a fun way to try to guess. I thought the theme was broader than it is.
Right? Alright, so Jim starts us off again. Ambition, power, control. And again, these
all have periods after them. Ambition period, power period, control period. 50
shades of gray.
Ambition, power, control.
Yeah, that makes sense.
But no.
Sam?
Scarface.
No.
No.
It wouldn't be bad for that.
You got this, man.
You got this one. I think the actual one for Scarface You got this, man. You got this one.
I think the actual one for Scarface was,
it takes a man to climb a mountain of cocaine.
Boiler room?
Oh, I like that one. That's a terrific guess.
But wrong, though.
Right?
I wasn't going to rub it in with the whole
let it's wrong part
Jacob
like it's amazing
you guys know you haven't figured out the theme yet
well I mean it's funny
sometimes there's not that many movies about fighting
so you say Scarface
it's actually more specific than that and I think
it's movies where people don't get along
vision power control is it no holds barred It's actually more specific than that. And I think... It's movies where people don't get along.
Vision, power, control.
Is it No Holds Barred?
In the ring.
What?
No Holds Barred.
No, no.
I kind of pulled a fast one on that one.
It's Foxcatcher.
Oh, I was going to say that, but you said it earlier. I thought if I brought Foxcatcher up earlier,
it might help you guys to come up with it.
But yeah, those are all movies with Rasselin in them.
As a tribute to
three of our guests.
All of our guests like Rasselin.
To different degrees.
And Sam has a whole podcast
about it. Have we plugged that yet?
Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast.
There you go.
Is it about Greco-Roman?
Yeah, we mainly... We started on pro wrestling but the audience is with Greco-Roman? Yeah, we mainly, we started on pro wrestling,
but the audience is with Greco-Roman, so I shifted.
What's your favorite wrestling movie there, Sam?
There's a great movie called Body Slam
that's like really super cheesy and corny,
and it treats like wrestling like it's a legitimate contest,
and the managers are actually their managers,
and it's awful, but it's great.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
That's my favorite wrestling movie.
Matt, do you have one?
I guess I like the Mickey Rourke one, the wrestler.
I mean, I know that's probably the only one.
Actually, I don't know any other ones.
There was a horrible Hulk Hogan one.
What the fuck was that?
No holds barred.
Oh, yeah.
That's not horrible, though.
Zeus. You're right. That's not horrible, though. Zeus.
You're right.
I totally changed my mind.
It was great.
Mine is Lolita.
What about Suburban Commando?
Was that a thing?
Of course it was a thing.
That was one of Hulk Hogan's star-making features.
He didn't wrestle in it, right?
He didn't, no.
He was an interplanetary policeman-type guy.
Hero.
But he is a wrestler in real life.
He was an interplanetary?
Was it just like him watching some kids?
No.
No, that was the woodsman.
You're thinking of Mr. Nanny.
Mr. Nanny.
He was a wrestler in Mr. Nanny.
In Suburban Commando. He was from another planet.
You're thinking of the rock in the Tooth Fairy.
Same deal.
You're thinking of...
Gerard Depardieu.
Green Cart.
You're thinking I could keep going
but we gotta play one more game
last man Stanton
you got a shot at this actually
pardon me
I think you do
pardon me you guys
tonight it's last mash, Stanton.
Yeah, what indeed.
Normally, here's how this game works.
We get a name from the audience of an actor or actress,
and then you guys take turns naming movies that person was in.
You can't think of one.
You're out.
But you get one lifeline. One time when it's your turn, you can't think of one you're out but you get one lifeline one time was
your turn you can turn to aunt you could turn to Steph you could turn to Katie
you could turn to who's yours Jim that man that's your lifeline they can help
you out and only they can help you out. No cheating. No whispering.
No cell phones.
That's just in life.
If I hear people whispering or using a cell phone, I will smack it.
I will smack their mouth or their phone, depending on which scenario.
So last mash stanton is, I've already
taken two names
that smash together nicely.
So you guys have to name the movies
of two different people.
You can switch back and forth as often
as you want.
Or you can name either or. A movie
by either of these people.
And the mashed up name
is David Hyde Pierce Brosnan.
Oh, God.
So it's Pierce Brosnan.
Which would be a great person.
David Hyde Pierce
has been in some movies
and he's had some
tossed salad
and scrambled eggs.
But
that was submitted
on Twitter
by Chris Custer
on Twitter.
David Hyde Pierce Brosnan.
Thanks, Chris.
So it's not going to be easy, but you got a lifeline.
And Jacob keeps winning every game, so we're going to start with Jacob again.
And then we're going to go to Matt.
Let's take some easy stuff off the table.
GoldenEye.
GoldenEye, of course.
Pierce Brosnan and GoldenEye.
What do you think, Matt?
Nah, I just got to name a movie with Pierce Brosnan in it.
Yeah, or David Hyde Pierce.
Do you know who David Hyde Pierce is?
Oh, fuck.
David, uh...
I guess you can't tell me who he is.
That doesn't make sense.
That's why you had me up here.
He was on Frasier.
We could say that.
Oh.
That's not a movie.
That fucking guy was even in a movie?
Who the fuck knows that guy?
You know?
Yeah, it's not easy.
Oh, man.
We got a lifeline.
Fuck.
I mean, that's sad if I got to go to my lifeline the first one.
Well, but you know, because when you hear more titles, it might snap.
Something might snap in.
Like if you heard like Goldeneye, you might think of other titles, because
you just heard somebody say GoldenEye. You can also
do Pierce Brosnan. You don't have to do David Hyde Pierce.
Oh, no, no. Yeah, I wasn't going with David, for sure.
All right.
So when I think of...
Okay. When I think of Pierce Brosnan...
Let me see here.
When I think of Pierce Brosnan...
Oh, hello.
I'm gonna
go with my lifeline.
Okay.
Let's go out to Katie.
What do I do?
I bring my mic to her?
No, no, no.
I'll just ask her.
Oh, okay.
I don't know how this fucking works.
I'm sorry.
I'm figuring it out as I go.
Yo, you're doing great.
Remember at the end of King Kong
where King Kong kills everybody?
Just be careful, guys.
Fuck?
What the fuck?
Am I giving off that vibe?
No, but I feel like there's potential.
Like we're poking the pit bull.
I never understood in any of the King Kong movies why they think
the best thing to do with King Kong when they bring him
to the States is put him in a Broadway show.
Yeah, right.
Listen, he's the size of the venue.
There couldn't be any problems whatsoever
with that. Wait, that was Mighty Joe Young,
wasn't it? Are you fucking that up? I'm telling you,
they always fucking want to put these fucking
giant monkeys into show business, and they
leave all the dinosaurs.
They leave the island with just the monkey.
The dinosaurs, those aren't so special.
They're just fucking dinosaurs.
I never fucking thought of that.
That is amazing.
That's what poddle duty is. It makes you think about it.
Can I be on the show every time Matt's on the show, please?
Yeah. You guys are great together.
Like, could we do a thing where he chokes you out?
Yeah.
I think that's inevitable.
Have you ever wanted to try that?
Have you ever wanted to tap?
It's free drugs, man.
You pass out.
You put him down gently, right?
Yeah.
I think it's sort of a waiver, but...
Do you carry waivers?
No, no.
I hope you had one for the show or something.
You've never choked out a Jew before.
I would be in it for the lawsuit.
I'm keeping this just out of our brains. I'll fuck in it for the lawsuit. I'm not going. I'm keeping this just out of our brains.
I'll fuck if that's the case.
You're right. No, your brain could beat my brain up.
I'm pretty sure.
Has Katie been waiting patiently
this whole time?
So what's your title?
Mrs. Doubtfire, she says.
Man, it was in my brain.
Good job, Katie.
Yeah.
It was a walk by fruiting.
Oh, that made me think of another one.
All right, who's up next?
Sam?
I am.
And I got one in me at the moment, so you better think.
Oh, he's got you.
He's going to be good at this, I think.
Wet Hot American Summer.
Yes.
David I. Pierce.
And Wet Hot American Summer, very funny.
Did you watch the Netflix, the follow-up?
Yeah, I liked it a lot.
It was good?
Yeah, it was funny.
I haven't seen it yet.
It was funny.
Every time I go on Netflix, I just scroll through things
and there's too much
to choose from.
It's too much, isn't it?
Yeah.
And then you have to
commit to something
and there's other things
you could have watched
and I'm with you.
Yep.
If it's not a Jim Norton special,
I'm just smashing my instrument,
my device.
Smashing my instrument
is what I do
while watching
a Jim Norton special.
So it's my turn?
Yeah, yeah.
I got to go right to my lifeline because Mrs. Doubtfire was my ace in the hole.
What do you got, lifeline?
The November Man.
The November Man.
The November Man.
Thank you. Very good.
Guess what? It's November
Man.
Couple more days. Jacob?
Tomorrow Never Dies. Oh, I see where you're going with that
so we got GoldenEye
Tomorrow Never Dies
Mrs. Doubtfire
Wet Hot America
Summer
November Man
does any of that help you Matt?
oh shit
you know
you were a great guest
I'm going through the whole
James Bond fucking series
in my head
I'd narrow it down to just the Pierce Brosnan one.
Yeah, no, no, that's what I meant.
That's exactly what I meant.
I'm going to say, they always have a stupid fucking saying.
What do you mean, a title?
Yeah, like a fucking title.
The world is not enough?
I'm sandbagging you motherfuckers.
Yeah.
Wait, was that right?
Yes?
Yes?
Yes.
Yeah, fuck you, Jacob.
I'm sorry, Jacob.
I'm sorry.
I'm not going to get fucked, dude.
Come on, Jacob.
We're all friends.
He's going to beat you up, not me.
Don't you get it, guys?
I got one thing right.
I got one thing right.
No, I was happy for you.
We had a big bond conversation. Don't leave me hanging now, Jacob.
What are you doing?
Now it's like heat when they went to fucking...
Give me something.
All right.
It was the worst ever.
I never should have put my hand out.
We had a big bond conversation just coincidentally backstage.
I was surprised. All right. I was proud of you. Thank you. We had a big bomb conversation just coincidentally backstage. I was surprised.
I thought I was proud of you.
So we're on Sam now?
Yeah.
How's it going?
You going to pull anything out?
I'm going to have to go to my friend Ant on this one.
Okay, Ant.
Ant.
Bugs Life.
Who was in Bugs Life?
David, apparently a Bugs Life is the correct answer.
What? He is?
What was the name of his bug?
David.
You sure not thinking of...
Dave Foley is the voice of Flick.
Dave Foley is kind of...
They're similar Aryan types.
Jacob, you already have this one.
Seriously, they're two very white guys.
No offense, Ant.
They do.
They all look alike to him.
Yeah, black guy.
I could see that going either way.
Can anybody else confirm that?
Oh, he's the stick bug.
He's the stink bug.
He's the stick bug.
Stick bug.
Was Rosario Dawson in that one, Ant?
Are you a bugs life expert, sir?
His name is Ant.
Thank you.
Thank you.
There's three comedians on stage.
Let's hear it for my fifth guest.
This lady to put it together.
It's written right in front.
There's a cue card on the stage for all of us.
All right, Ant.
We have better weed.
Enough.
Let's stop beating up Ant.
He says uncle.
Oh.
I just got that.
That was good.
Jim, you got anything for us?
The firm.
I like the way, you know, I'm going to let you stay in just because you said it with conviction.
David Hyde Pierce was in the firm.
Okay.
Jacob?
Die another day.
Fuck, I'm running out of Bond films.
We're done.
Yeah, I think you are.
You was in other shit besides Bond films? Yeah. We're done. Yeah, I think you are. He was in other shit besides Bond films?
Yeah.
Oh, wow. How many lifelines
do I get? Oh, I just thought of another one.
Oh, I already have that one.
No, how many
lifelines? That was it. Oh, that was it, huh?
Well, okay, phone a friend.
I'll fucking phone a friend right now if that's true.
You make up the rules.
It's your game. Who are you going to call?
Yeah, go!
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you wanted me to...
Who would you call?
Who would I call?
Yeah.
I just...
What are you...
You named it up?
Oh, what do you mean?
Well, I call out the people who made a sign...
What's this?
The dude who made a sign up that he loves me.
Only because the guy loves me.
The guy...
I don't know what... Why are you looking at me like that?
Who would you call? Who would you call on your phone?
Oh, who would I call on my phone?
For movies?
I would call...
No, to ask him if it's raining out.
No, no, no, no, no.
You want me to get my phone out? Oh, no.
No, I'm asking you...
Would it be quick?
Oh, yeah, I'll call somebody right now, I'll call somebody right now
I'll call somebody right now
Okay, I'll call somebody right now
I guarantee you, whoever you're calling
Does not know who David Hyde Pierce is
Oh no, no, no, no, no
I just feel like Steph should get the prize no matter what happens
And the only thing they're going to know
Of Pierce Brosnan is Remington Steele
Okay, I should be going through my phone.
Should I call Ray Longo?
Does anybody know Ray Longo?
Wait, you're still trying to decide who to call?
Oh, no, no, no.
Let's go.
Just do it.
Okay, I'm just calling somebody.
Oh, yeah.
Random.
Go at random.
Oh, he's a UFC fighter.
Call Doug.
Call who?
Don't call me.
Call Doug.
I don't think he'd be into that.
I don't think he'd be into that. I don't think he'd be into that.
Okay. Aljo
Sterling. Alright.
Aljo Sterling, he's a UFC fighter.
Does he like me? There we go, yeah. Put it on speaker.
Aljo.
Ah, you fuck!
I'm sorry.
He's gonna regret for putting me to the voicemail.
Ah, Greg Amici. I'm sorry. What happened? He's going to regret for putting me to the voicemail. Ah, Greg Amici.
I'm sorry.
Greg Amici.
Are these names alphabetized?
No, no, I'm texting him.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I don't want to text him.
Ah, you fuck.
I'm sorry.
Oh, here we go.
Mobile.
Can I just give a few Pierce Brosnan movies?
I'm calling him.
I'm calling him.
Here we go.
This guy's like a wannabe actor. No offense, he didn't do too well in acting.
But he wanted to be an actor.
And he's like, oh I'm gonna make it. This is his shining moment right now.
If he picks up the phone, he's just like...
I'm starting to realize, people probably don't take your calls.
This is the story of my life.
This is the story of my life.
Do I want to watch Westworld in peace or do I want to be yelled at?
All right, listen.
I tried.
I really, I fucking tried.
Yeah, you tried.
You know.
All right.
All right.
It's not, you know.
So I'm out.
I'm fucking out.
Yeah, you tap out.
All right.
It happens.
I didn't tap out my whole career.
You realize that? It's not about my fucking career. I'm fucking out. Yeah, you tap out. All right. It happens. I didn't tap out my whole career. You realize that?
It's not about my fucking career.
I'm tapping out now, though.
I'm not one of those stats nerds. I hope this doesn't get included in your lifetime achievements.
No, no, this was pretty fucking bad.
Or lack thereof.
I'm one and done with this show, ain't I?
You guys don't want to see me back on this show, by any chance?
I'm such a kiss-ass.
I really am.
It's not up to you. Doug won't even look at me now. I think I'm fucked. Matt, I really am it's not up to you
Doug won't even look at me now
I think I'm fucked
I think they'll be
I think they'll be disappointed
if you don't come back
so now I'm stuck
good job
thank you
Sam
Remington Steele?
That's all you got?
Well, he's the charming guy in About a Boy, right?
The British guy?
No. No.
That's Hugh Grant. Yeah. I can start doing
Hugh Grant movies, but
I can't do any more Pierce Brosnan movies.
That's a tough one. But for Ant's sake,
we can start doing Hugh Grant.
Hugh Grant?
Yeah.
No, I don't have an answer for you.
I tapped out, but I tapped out after Matt Serra, for the record.
For the record, yes.
I survived longer.
Jim?
Time to kill, David Hyde Pierce.
Time to kill.
He said a time to kill.
Alright, Jacob.
I don't need one, but I'll do it anyway.
Yeah, go ahead.
How about the Thomas Crown Affair?
Yes.
How about Mars Attacks?
Wait, wait, wait.
It's Jim's turn.
Jim?
He's out.
I won.
No, Jim's up. I'm up. No, he just tapped out on the last one It's Jim's turn. Jim? He's out. I won. No, Jim's up.
I'm up.
No, he just tapped out on the last man.
It's his turn.
No, he said what?
He said time to kill last time.
He said time to kill.
David Hyde Pierce.
It's his show, Jacob.
He's in that?
He should be able to do it.
Oh, he's in that?
Yeah.
Jim, what else you got?
David Hyde Pierce, yes.
What?
Is it your button?
Just give me another one, Jim.
Just fuck with me.
Trying, Steph. Hold on. with me. Trying, Steph.
Hold on.
You said you had a few more, Jacob.
You shouldn't have anything to worry about.
Oh, I got one.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
Pierce Brosnan.
Pierce Brosnan, yes.
Okay.
Jacob?
Was he really in Time to Kill?
What?
David Hines Pierce was really in that.
Yeah, Jacob.
Oh, sorry for doubting.
I thought you were kidding. I thought you were doing a Lolita thing again. Yeah, that's all right. in that. Yeah, Jacob. Oh, sorry for doubting. I thought you were kidding.
I thought you were doing a Lolita thing again.
Yeah, that's all right.
What do you got, Jacob?
Oh, then I'll do Mars Attacks.
Mars Attacks?
Yeah.
Okay.
Pierce Brosnan.
Jim?
I don't want to...
I have one more, but I don't want to blow it.
Like, I'm trying to think of another.
I have to burn my last one.
Speed 2.
Which one was in Speed 2?
David Hyde Pierce.
Oh, okay.
Is that true?
Is that true?
Oh, full title.
Oh, yeah, the full title.
Speed 2, Speed Kills.
That's right.
That is right. Is that it?
No it isn't
I'm sorry Jim
It's speed 2 cruise control
Oh yeah
But thank you for playing
You did great
And Jacob is our winner tonight
Just cause
Because I'm the least liked person on the panel
I'd just like to brag a minute that I won every game
and didn't use my lifeline.
That's all.
It's fine.
Why do you...
You've got to be a villain.
You just have to be a villain.
You're a bad winner.
So, Steph,
I'm sorry that the villain had to be your
your savior
but he won for you
so come get your stuff
you're sitting right next to aunt
I made a sign
there you go
be careful these are pretty heavy
that's what's up
thank you are you still bragging over here Jacob
dude I can't fucking beat people up
this is all I have
congratulations
it is all that Jacob has
let's do some plugs you guys
let's start with Jim Norton
what do you got coming up?
You're taping a special and whatnot?
Yeah, I'm shooting the 17th here in New York,
but I don't think there's any tickets.
So in the morning, you can hear me with Sam on SiriusXM
on the Jim Norton and Sam Roberts show.
And twice a week, you can hear me with Matt Serra
on UFC Unfiltered.
And you can also hear me in the morning on Sirius XM,
on Jim Norton and Sam Roberts.
And every Thursday morning, I drop Sam Roberts' wrestling podcast
all over iTunes and NotSam.com.
Very nice, Sam Roberts.
Thanks.
Matt, Sarah Roberts. Thanks. Matt, Sarah.
All right.
Every Tuesday and Thursday, myself and Jim Norton.
He said it already.
I'm going to say it again.
But not only that, it's UFC Unfiltered.
Go to iTunes and, Jimmy, what do we should tell them?
Subscribe?
Subscribe, yeah.
Leave a comment.
No, we go over this all the time.
But we need you to do it.
And leave a comment.
Subscribe, you fucks.
There's a lot of you here. I think you should subscribe. And leave a comment, right? They should Leave a comment. No, we go over this all the time. But we need you to do it. And leave a comment. Subscribe, you fucks. There's a lot of you here.
I think you should subscribe.
And leave a comment, right?
They should leave a comment.
And they should leave a favorable comment.
And besides that, you can go to YouTube.
How many can we do?
A few?
Okay.
Dana White looking for a fight.
You type that into YouTube.
Reality show I do with Dana White.
It's a blast.
And if you're ever in Long Island and you want to do some arm locks,
sarahbjj.com.
Thank you. Thank you, people.
Thank you.
Are you sharing
those at the panel? I'm sorry. You like these cookies?
I fucking eat cookies.
I was going to... There's only four
donuts, so I was going to open these cookies up too because we've got
to throw stuff at the audience. Oh, you're throwing those?
I thought you were going for a snack.
Well, I like to throw.
By the way, his green room back there is exactly what you'd fucking picture it is with the
munchies and I'm like, holy fuck.
Exactly what I thought it would be.
They're like the behind the scenes shit.
What is this?
What is this?
Throw somebody under the bus night?
Why?
I didn't say it was really green in there.
I said it was munchies all over the place.
Oh, okay.
Jacob, what do you got to plug?
In January, I'll be doing San Francisco Sketch Fest with my friend,
Kasim Bentley.
I've plugged that on the show a few times, but I'm proud of it.
That'll be a fun thing.
Yeah, we do this.
It's my black friend.
We do dueling racist crowd work for an hour, and we're doing that at San Francisco Sketch Fest, a big comedy festival in San Francisco.. That'll be a fun thing. Yeah, we do this. It's my black friend. We do dueling, racist, crowd work for an hour and we're doing that
at San Francisco Sketch Fest,
a big comedy festival
in San Francisco.
So that'll be fun.
And we're starting
a web series.
It's going to be one episode.
We argue about Star Wars.
He kills me at the end.
So check that out.
Man, I'd love to talk
about Star Wars sometimes, though.
I really would, though.
Douglow's Movies
is going to be in Fort Lauderdale at the Improv there on Saturday, December 17th at 420.
And, yeah, thanks again to all of my guests, Jim Norton, Sam Roberts, Matt Serra, and Jacob Searoff.
You guys want to throw a food item at the crowd?
I got a cookie.
Who wants a cookie?
How about over there, lady?
Oh, nice catch, lady.
Jim smells his first.
Like a gentleman.
Oh, nice catch.
Looky, looky, here come Cookie.
Oh.
Oh.
The balcony.
Captain America time.
Oh.
Oh.
You can use your girl arms from here. Oh. Oh, I threatened you.
We don't have anything else to throw.
Oh, Christmas is ruined.
We ran out of donuts already.
Candy canes?
That seems dangerous.
I'm not going to throw candy canes at people.
Can you pass me the Royal Teddenbaums?
Can you pass that to me?
Oh, there, yeah.
Put the thing off the back.
That'll work.
Perfect.
Thank you.
Do I have to read this or no?
No, no, I'll read it.
Okay.
Thanks very much, you guys.
Let's hear it for all my guests.
Thanks, New York.
And, of course
the Gramercy Theater
and we'll see some of you again tomorrow night
and as always
there's a lot of extra words
on all of your shitheads
Chris Christie
and then in parenthesis fuck that guy your shitheads. Chris Christie.
And then in parentheses,
fuck that guy.
Is a shithead.
Shithead Mike Pence's big fat shitty head.
Is a shithead.
I have to read them even when I disagree doing the Douglas movies challenge has made me so you are whoever wrote this down a
shithead
hey if you ever ordered clothes online and got to try them on before you paid
nope you did it that never happened well with jack thread's new tryout feature now you can
try anything on at home for free and only pay for what you keep go to jackthreads.com and enter the
code doug when you submit your tryout for 20% off anything you keep.
That's code Doug at jackthreads.com.