Doug Loves Movies - Jim Norton, Sam Roberts, Ron Bennington, Tom Thakkar and Mark Normand guest
Episode Date: June 14, 2018Live from the Gramercy Theatre in NYC, Doug welcomes Jim Norton, Sam Roberts, Ron Bennington, Tom Thakkar and Mark Normand to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Cali...fornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 as in 5 more kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
We love movies!
Coming to you once again from the good old Gramercy Theater in New York City. Yay!
Oh boy, the donuts are already on the stage.
Oh, this is going to be a fun one for the people in attendance.
The listeners might not enjoy it as much.
Do you guys like listening to the donut throwing?
Okay.
Okay.
I always thought, oh, the people that are here, this is awesome.
It's fun to throw them.
It's fun to catch them.
But the listener, holy shit.
Every once in a while I'll get disgruntled Joe,
you know, that jump on Twitter and say,
stop with the donuts.
I'm a diabetic.
It's Wednesday, June 13, 2018.
You know, we got snowed out in March
and now I'm finally back.
Wait, what was the booing about?
Are you, do you think inclement weather is gonna hear your boos and change their shit?
It did suck though, that that happened, but I'm happy that we were able to reschedule
this three months later and you guys have, I bet, been sitting on some name tags that you wanted to bring that night,
so let's take a quick look-see at what we're talking about.
Lots of options. Of course, the people in the balcony, they know they got here last.
They know that they didn't need to be up front.
They can just sit up there and relax
and watch you guys all scream and yell
like I'm fucking Wayne Brady.
Wait, now that might sound bad
if people don't know that he's the host of Let's Make a Deal.
People listening are like,
people just yell at Wayne Brady?
The Johnster Squad.
Very good.
Keith's name tag.
The movie tag.
Very nice.
Rob A.
We've seen you before, right?
Yeah?
Did you win the prize bag?
Nope?
Okay, good luck.
Paul and Megan, a royal romance.
Which one are you?
Paul.
Please stand up and show the entire facility
your silly-ass sign.
Great job, Paul.
And then there's just an open box of donuts.
Did you see I already have two boxes of donuts?
What do you think?
But you never know what my guests are going to go for.
They might even pick something that says little sex doll with Sam Levine's face on it.
And it says Lil' Wolverine, a.k.a. Lil' Logan.
Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park.
Jurassic Park's a big one to do lately.
Oh, what's making noise?
Oh, the fucking...
Give me that, motherfucker.
I'm sorry, I put the comma in the wrong place.
Give me that, motherfucker.
No, give me that motherfucker.
Oh, it's got a shit head
on the back. So your name is Paul, but this
is Ted.
And how do you make Ted talk?
Wouldn't that suck if Ted talks
were just this stupid bear?
Today I'm going to tell you about AIDS.
Was that a good impression? No.
I forget what he sounds like.
He's got like a New York accent or something?
Boston. Oh, that's right.
I don't know what that was.
That was fucking British.
British. You know the British Bostoners.
You know what I'm talking about.
Ted.
So how do you make him talk?
Punch him in the...
This hand?
I can totally be lawyers.
It's always good to find new ways to surprise the alumna.
Excuse me.
Where's your non-jerk-off bathroom?
It's like I'm putting the microphone up to his neck like he's got a hole in his neck
that he's a trach patient and he...
How's everybody doing?
Okay, one more, because I feel like
the gems never stop with this guy.
I think we're going to get another good one.
Piss off.
I don't want to get any jizz on me.
I think he said
piss off, don't get any jizz on me?
Oh, Ted.
Here's the exit over here.
I caught him.
People would actually go, oh, if I let him hit the floor.
It's not the American flag.
It's a talking teddy bear.
Seth MacFarlane is not inside him.
He is on set, though.
Wouldn't that be funny if he sat there in a bear suit?
Maybe he did.
I don't know the process.
But thanks for bringing all those name tags.
I appreciate it.
Doug plugs, this Saturday, June 16th,
Doug Loves Movies is back in St. Louis
at the Gassy Helium Comedy Club at 420.
420 is a great time to show up at my shows, even if it starts at 8.
You got a pregame, son.
And the special, thank you for coming at the special 8.30 time.
Let me ask you this.
Is 8.30 to 10 better for you guys than 8 to 9.30?
No?
Okay, we'll switch it back. Settle down.
Tuesday, I'm going to be doing
stand-up at the Improv in Kansas City,
Missouri.
And then on Sunday,
June 24th, I'm doing a double
of Douglas' movies, followed by a Benson
movie interruption
of Breaking Dawn Part 2,
The Twilight Saga, I think is the full title.
That's going to be at the Rio Theater,
hashtag Save the Rio in Vancouver, B.C., Canada.
I mean, if they're letting Americans in at that point.
And Douglas movies is back at the UCB Theater in L.A.
on Tuesday, June 26th.
For all my dates and deets and links, oh my,
go to DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com!
Yeah!
Wow, okay, that was kind of an extended yeah.
Kind of getting into Lil' Jon territory.
Yeah!
All right, prize bag, let's do this.
I brought a ton of stuff.
A sippy cup from when I saw the boys in the band,
the play revival on Broadway.
Enjoyed it very much.
Cheeseburger condiment box from the
flight. One of my CDs. The same one I obviously have too many of because I'm giving them out
on every show lately. Douglas Movies t-shirt. A beautiful bong from Peacemaker that you
can use to celebrate the holidays. A book from our friend Ken Jennings. He has a new book out called Planet Funny.
There's like two and a half pages about Doug Lowe's movies in the book. It's the only part
I read. It's excellent. Very accurate. A copy of, this is, where was this? This is Downtown
Houston Magazine. I just had a lovely time in Houston with Amy Miller and Harmar Superstar
and Emma Arnold, who was mistakenly from the corrections department.
We listed her briefly as Emma Roberts.
Some people got very excited.
Jeff Tate was very excited about it.
And then I got this thing recently.
I was walking around a mall, and. And then I got this thing recently.
I was walking around a mall, and a guy was playing with this thing,
and he made it look really cool, and I was like,
oh, I want one of those things, and I'll put it in the prize bag.
But I think you can all see this right here.
But it's like a ball that's kind of watery,
and it's got a pig face on it.
And when you throw it on the ground, it just goes completely flat and looks like spilled green something and I'd like to do that for you now
all right that one wasn't as good as I'd hoped. I didn't realize breaking it was an option. Oh my God. I just
imagine like you guys are like, what are we at a fucking Gallagher show? Just water shoots in your
faces. But you get the idea. Whoever wins the prize bag is going to have a lot of fun with that.
But then it gets, um, I think the floor is really going to have a lot of fun with that. But
then it gets, I think the floor is really clean at the mall where the guy does it. Like
I think he cleans his own floor and then does it and you're like, oh, that's great. Because
like as soon as it starts to get dirt on it, it stops working and that's almost immediately.
All right, let's get my guests out here. They huddled in the waiting area to come on up.
Oh, my God.
I've been kind of blabbing all over radio the last couple days
who's going to be here just because I'm very excited about this lineup.
Please, everybody, give it up for Jim Norton, Sam Roberts,
Ron Bennington, Tom Takar, and Mark Norman.
This is like one of them Playgirl articles, you know, the men of satellite radio.
Very, very sexy panel.
And let's meet them individually, starting with the man directly to my left.
It's Sam Roberts, everybody.
Woo, doggie.
How's it going, dude?
It's great. How are you?
You have a hoodie on that says It on the front of it.
It's a movie.
Yeah.
It's a show.
Yeah, it's perfect.
That's right.
People usually don't do that.
Like, look at everybody else on the panel.
They just have their own personal style.
Well, no, they don't appreciate the show like I do.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
And you're a big fan of It?
It was great, yes. You watched all of It? It was great, yes.
You watched all of It?
All of It.
Okay.
It looks like Pennywise.
You know, I was thinking it,
but I didn't say it
because I'm nice to my guests,
and that's why I only have comedians
because then they can just
shit on each other,
and I can stand nearby
and laugh about it.
That Pennywise dude
is in Deadpool 2.
Anyway.
Nobody knows what he looks like because he's Pennywise.
He's like a skinny little British guy, right?
Yeah, yeah.
He's like hot.
He's a model.
He's a model?
Yeah, he's a handsome guy.
But he's one of the guys that Deadpool recruits for the team.
He's the one that spews hot lava out of his mouth.
Maybe he's not a model.
Maybe I'm just repeating what I heard at a glory hole.
Oh, okay.
You heard me?
God damn it.
Sam is, of course, the host of the Sam Roberts show
every morning on Sirius XM.
Oh, yeah, there's another guy on the show, too,
but I haven't introduced him yet.
I'll call it his show when I get to him.
And it's on from, I should know, I did it two days in a row.
It's on from 8 to 11 here on the East Coast.
That's right.
Yeah.
And then on Sirius Faction Talk 103.
There it is.
Yeah, I did it.
And thank you for being here, dude.
Thank you for having me all right and just
next to Mr. Robots is a gentleman who has his own show on Sirius XM it's Ron Bennington everybody
thank you
uh Gail of course his daughter who co co-hosts Bennington on,
what's it on there, Raw Dog?
What's the number on Raw Dog?
16 or 70, maybe?
I don't know.
We don't see the numbers from the inside of the radio.
I wish we did.
I wish we did.
All right, but it's Raw Dog on SiriusXM,
so you'll be able to find it at Bennington
for three hours a day.
I want to say noon to three Eastern.
Yeah, I think you're correct.
Yeah, and you co-host with Gail Bennington,
your daughter, who is with Child.
She is going to have a baby.
Thank you very much.
Wow.
Thank you.
Wow, she lied to me. Yes, the little Norman baby. Thank you very much. Wow. Thank you. Wow, she lied to me.
Yes, the little Norman baby.
Yeah.
We're all excited because we always wanted to have a little baby racist in the family.
And this is our chance.
I'm homophobic.
Oh, homophobic.
I get those two so mixed up.
Yeah.
By the way, Ron looks like the manager of this failed boy band, doesn't he?
Let me tell you something.
I raised these kids from seven
to where they finally could tell on me.
Ha!
Yeah, I'm letting that one linger.
Thanks for being here, Ron.
Thank you.
Sitting next to Ron,
co-host of You Off with Nikki Glaser,
it's Tom Takar, everybody.
Nikki, of course, was invited to be here
and said yes until a couple days ago
when she got another appearance on The Tonight Show
that she needs to practice for.
I should have just told her she could do her set during this.
Oh, that would have been good.
Yeah.
Instead, you got the sidekick.
You were invited anyway.
Yeah, I was.
I went from co-host of that show to sidekick,
and now I'm taking out the trash,
so I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow.
How was she practicing for the Tonight Show?
Just sitting in a fucking basement like Rupert Pupkin
talking to a cutout of Jimmy?
I knew the joke wasn't good, so I did that.
Fucking hack.
It was a movie reference, though, so that was great.
It sure was, but the fact that I did that,
I remember I was like, ah, you.
You know how to get a crowd.
But Tom, your show
with Nikki, you are the,
I think of you as the co-host. Thanks, buddy.
You talk more than her.
You won't shut the fuck up.
What the fuck? No, I do think on that
show, you know that type of porn
where a girl meets a guy and then takes him home to bang?
And then all of a sudden she's like, oh, and here's my boyfriend.
Yeah, and then they all fuck the dog.
Yeah, I'm the boyfriend who's like, hey, can I jerk off over here?
Nobody's ready for me to be there.
But that explains why when I was on the other day you were jerking off. I was jerking off. Yeah, this is a true story. That's ready for me to be there. But that explains why when I was on the other day,
you were jerking off.
That's why I explain it that way.
Everybody
loves cock radio.
It's going to do good for you guys.
So you're
on from 10 to noon
Eastern. That's right.
On Channel 95.
That's Comedy Central 95.
Yes, I got it.
Hell yeah.
I'm doing good.
And here he is, everybody.
The host of the Jim Norton show.
Jim Norton!
Jim Norton!
Hey, they like you.
What's happening?
Somebody doesn't want their water?
No.
Okay.
Hey, Jim.
Hi, buddy.
How's it going?
I'm good. How are you?
I'm good, thanks.
You're on this show with Sammy over here?
I am, yeah.
Yeah, in the mornings?
Yeah, we have fun.
Yeah, right?
I couldn't have given a more pat,
dog shit answer.
It's a lot of fun.
Really?
That's funny.
Well, how do you say
I really set you up
for some great
Well, no, but I mean
it's the worst answer.
Like, we interview an actor
and it's like,
how was the movie?
Oh, it was weird,
a lot of fun.
Did you really?
Fuck you.
My dad used to have,
we'd watch David Letterman together.
My dad would have a pet peeve
because David Letterman,
if it was fall,
every guest he'd start with,
how was your summer?
And it drove my dad crazy
because he thought that was too generic
and he had no idea that they discuss in advance
what they're going to talk about.
And so the people have a story
about their summer probably.
Yeah, they had probably a story to lead into
and Dave, by that point, was probably too fucking tired
to do real setups, so it would be like a generic,
how was your summer? Oh, good.
My mother died or whatever happened,
you could just talk about it.
I think we're saying the same thing.
We are, yeah. I'm just agreeing with you.
That's good.
We could just tour together And be one of us
Is really high
And the other isn't
And both say the same
Same sentiment
Absolutely
But at least you have
An excuse you're high
I'm just fucking boring
And repetitive
Well thank you so much
For being here
And for having
As a frequent guest
On your show
He's been on all the shows
He's been on everything
On satellite radio
I think I heard him
On the U2 channel the other day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's Mark Normand.
Hey, hey.
Comedy.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Good to be here.
Sold out another one.
Yeah, but I, you know, got pushed over the edge
because a lot of you knew these guys were going to be here.
Okay.
Nobody cared.
That's what I'm saying.
Six or seven of you knew what was up,
and that's all we needed to reach sell-out status.
Oh, hey, quick message from management.
They sell snow cones here now.
Whoa.
Yes, if you want a fucking snow cone.
Do you want to
fuck a snow cone?
Father, can you hear me?
Deadpool 2.
Not my joke. Deadpool 2.
Alright, so
this is our panel.
Did I talk to you enough, Mark?
Yeah, I think we're good.
Which one of us out of all of us will get Me Too'd first, do you think?
Okay, let me take a good look.
That's my game show.
Yeah, I don't know, man, because it's, you know, stuff.
It's everything.
Your whole life is on trial.
Wait, Ron just grabbed my dick. It's over.
Oh, I think all of us are fine with that.
Good answer, Doug.
Go ahead, Ron.
All right, so.
Go ahead, Ron.
All right, so...
Let's start with... I'm putting all my stuff into a Baja Fresh bag
for the winner today.
And by winner, I mean person who gets to just carry
a bunch of our garbage home with them.
Or just... Oh, my God, I've never seen that.
I've seen name tags, like, in garbage cans
right outside the venue after a show.
Which is, you know, the person didn't get picked and they didn't feel like they would need it again.
Yeah, right, it's sad.
But it would be really amazing to just see all the prizes just in the garbage right outside the venue.
Okay, so what do you got, Mark?
you.
Okay, so what do you got, Mark?
Oh, I got a I tried to get like a real gift this time
because I always give a real, like a piece
of shit. So this is 20
bucks to Chipotle gift card.
Oh!
I love Chipotle. Yeah.
Very good.
They're not, what, they had the Ebola
over there? What was that they had?
Oh, that's, you're not going to be a spokesman for them.
They had E. coli, but they're back.
Now you get free E. coli.
Well, I enjoy an E. coli with my tacos.
I don't know what you're talking about.
E. coli.
So good for the throat.
Singers recommend it.
Okay, so that's it?
Hey, this is something
What do you mean?
That'll get you two burritos
I mean, look at Jim
He's like brought
You know, he brought everything
From his rec room
It fits a lot in one little package
Yeah, no, it's great
Thank you
Jim Norton, what do you have for us?
It really is another
Thoughtless, abominable gift
It's a
This is a hat
This was worn by Chip Chipperson Oh it's uh it's uh this is a hat this was uh
worn by Chip Chipperson
oh
oh
which believe me
long after Norton
hangs himself
Chip will be doing shows
um
and with that
I also have some goldfish
Chip's
your Tony Clifton
uh
goldfish
and some
Pepper's Farm
whoa
that's big
Sausalito baby
and uh
and these uh these Reese's white whatever that is.
Gentrification.
And you know they'll be on time.
White chocolate.
That's how it starts.
There you are.
Look at this homo.
Told you, Ron.
I loved it in La La Land, What's His Nuts?
Ryan Gosling is singing on the pier about, you know,
the beauty of stars.
And he goes over
and takes a hat from a dude.
And I swear to God, I was like,
all right, here we go.
Gosling learned some hat choreography
and he's going to do some shit with the hat.
And he's just like...
He gives it back.
He's like, what the fuck is happening?
Did you like that movie?
Did you like that movie?
Doug, I've always said you should be a prop comic.
That was fucking amazing, dude.
That came out of nowhere.
I see anything.
Yeah, I should be the prop comic
that just picks something up and goes,
here's a movie scene this reminds me of.
Was she a great big fat person?
Doug, I'm not going to rest until I say La La Land was fucking terrible.
Oh, you didn't like it?
I didn't like it either.
Of course you hate it.
Why would you like it?
You didn't like a movie that proved
that white men are the father of jazz?
I'm going to hang on to these Reese's.
What do you have, Tom?
Oh, man, I got so much shit here.
I got some T-shirts that don't fit me.
I brought...
I got a South Park T-shirt.
Who cares?
I was at a Knicks event last night that the mom from Florida Project was at, and they gave me this Park t-shirt. Who cares? I was at a Knicks event last night
that the mom from Florida Project was at.
And they gave me this big t-shirt.
I brought black licorice
because it's like,
you know, you like black licorice?
Get them out of here.
It was a trick to see where the pedophiles are in the crowd.
Huh?
Let me see that black licorice.
There you go, baby.
I mean, let's just fucking give it to the guy.
Hell yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Thank God.
That was going to be a punishment.
That was a gift where it's like you win, but you feel like you lost.
And then I brought a koozie from my podcast, Stand By Your Band, where we have comics defend shitty music.
Doug was on it.
Yeah, I defended Taylor Swift.
I don't want to talk about it.
Oh.
This guy's digging right in.
Good for you there.
Whoa.
If you love black licorice, you're not going to wait on it when you've got something in your hands.
You're like Jim with black cock.
They didn't want to like that one, but they did.
And I have nothing to say.
Okay, where are we at?
Ron, what do you got?
I like it already.
Yeah, well, I asked you what your fans were like
and you said real nerds and movie geeks.
So this is
Tim and Eric,
a billion dollar movie signed by Tim and Eric.
All right?
I'm sorry it's not fucking
black licorice
or a shitty hat.
I thought this was a serious show
where we
take care of you, the fans. That's what I
care about, right? Wow.
You know, I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
The fans make this show,
Doug.
Because I've seen them remind you of where you are in the show.
It's incredibly helpful.
They tell me a lot of things I don't want to hear, but yeah, it's usually good.
This is like De Niro saying, fuck Trump.
We get it.
So here you go.
Thank you.
So here you go Thank you
I was of course
I was watching the Tonys
As it happened
And they bleeped the shit out of
De Niro's thing
And so it just really
It just looked so silly
Like
Because he bleeped the entire sentence
Each time he spoke
So he's putting his hands over his hair
The whole crowd's on their feet, and you're like,
what the fuck did he say
to get the whole crowd crazy
like that? It's like watching Goodfellas
on TV. You're like,
what did they do with this?
Yeah.
Alright, so Sam, let's bring it
home, Sam.
I wish I had gone before Ron.
Sure.
This is a Not Sam shirt gone before Ron. Sure.
This is a Not Sam shirt from NotSam.com.
Oh, boy.
Signed by Tim and Eric.
That's nice.
We're getting somewhere.
Well, thank you for that, dude.
And thank you guys for bringing all this stuff.
And somebody gets to cart it all out of here.
And we got some donuts on stage,
so if any of you are ever in the mood to hurl a donut into the audience,
Mark, you want to do one?
Yeah.
Come on over.
All right.
I just don't like, I get,
my hands get too sticky when I do it,
because...
That's what she said.
Right? Oh, here.
That's over.
Ha ha!
Wait, you took a bite out of it?
It's not a grenade.
Throw that bite back out there for the rest of that.
All right, so I have a question for everybody.
Everybody gets the same question if you want to cheat and think about it before it gets to you.
We'll start with Mark.
What was the last movie
that you saw?
I saw
the Mr. Rogers movie.
Ooh.
At the Angelica
10 a.m. showing
cried three times.
That was a cry
to the trailer movie.
Unbelievable. Yeah. It's a I don't know if I can handle it. That was a cry to the trailer movie. Unbelievable.
Yeah, it's a...
I don't know if I can handle it.
It's a doozy,
but there's no pedophilia.
Did you have to wait
for what it was going to be?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it opens by going,
he's a priest who loves children.
You're like, oh, boy.
Here we go.
This is going to be hot.
Yeah.
You brought tissues to it.
Before the music even starts.
I brought tissues and lube.
But it was great.
It's really good.
I didn't know what a mover and a shaker he was.
He's a cool dude. Right. Fred Rogers. It's just like. I didn't know what a mover and a shaker he was. He's a cool dude.
Right.
Fred Rogers.
It's just like 90 minutes of how great he was.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, he's dead.
I know.
Why didn't they make that one?
He was still alive and he could have appreciated it. He probably wouldn't even watch it.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Yeah.
All right.
He's too humble.
Jim Norton?
I saw a terrible movie on Netflix.
Martin Freeman in Cargo.
Did you see that?
Anybody see that?
It's a movie about...
Shorts?
It was really bad.
It was like there's some kind of a thing
that wipes people out and makes them kind of zombies.
It's another dumb fucking zombie movie.
It was just awful.
What compelled you to watch it?
Was it Martin Freeman?
You like him?
No, I was sitting next to a girl who wanted to watch it
and she had big tits.
Were they hers?
That's the real answer.
No, but her dick was.
I always worry about Jim.
All right, so... were they hers answer no but we did worry about Jim all right so I just she wanted to watch it so I watched it it was terrible okay it's terrible you guys
so yeah anyone want to defend it I didn't think so has anybody seen it did
you was bad right yeah he's in it.
Tom, what about you?
Last movie I saw in theaters was that new Avengers movie.
I saw it in Harlem, and it was a great experience because I was high, and this little kid got lost in the middle of the movie.
He couldn't find his parents.
And then this lady found him,
and she started yelling,
there's a missing child in here!
Missing child in the theater!
We have a missing child!
And then this guy yelled out from the back,
it ain't the time for that!
And then we all went back to watching the movie.
And it was like we saw an Amber Alert in 3D.
In that
we ignored it.
No one's ever fucking...
Fucking Asians, huh?
Wait, what?
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
Yeah.
But it was great. I loved it.
That scenario you just described or the movie?
All of it.
Every part of it.
Right.
You liked the movie all the way through, all the way to the end?
I loved the ending.
I actually, I get bored in those superhero movies during the fighting scenes.
I'm like, can we, like, I hear a lot of girls say that where they're like, they zone out
during the fighting scenes.
Me too, man.
That's what Me Too is about, right?
I got lost on that movement.
But yeah, I get bored during the long fight scenes
where I know the heroes aren't going to die.
Okay.
Wink!
I won't add anything to that.
Ron Bennington.
Well, Doug, my movie doesn't have a missing black child in it, but...
That's the twist.
Yeah.
The child was...
I saw a film the other day by Destiny Films,
and it was this amazing chance for North Korea
to get a lot of money
and turn themselves into something great.
And it was fucking unbelievable.
You would have sworn that you were tripping by the end of it.
I don't know whether you guys like those Scientology promo films,
but the United States is now making those Destiny films.
Come on, Korea, join the team.
Doug, it's on CNN.
Did you like it?
You enjoy it?
I loved it, Doug,
and I'll tell you why.
I am a major Trump supporter,
and hear me out.
I just really want to hold back gays,
women, and Muslims.
That's where I'm at right now.
And I feel like we are making that kind of progress.
So, six more years, everybody.
There's one guy in here who's with you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Quietly.
He's like, ooh.
Yeah, exactly.
I got to throw a donut now just to cheer these people up.
Oh, that's for the donut.
Hold up a sock.
Oh, he got it. Oh, he got it.
Oh, shit, he caught it.
That was a fastball right at you.
That was nice.
That was like a league of their own.
You're Gina Davis.
Good catch.
Apologies to the home alone sign that I missed.
Macaulay looked very shocked that I was throwing a donut at him.
I'll fucking do it again.
Pick that thing up again.
Oh, shit.
Right in the mouth.
Got his ass.
Got his ass.
The donut lighting guy is on point.
Yeah.
That's the title of his job.
He gets dental.
It's fucked up.
How are the snow cones selling?
Are we moving any?
I haven't seen anybody get up to buy a damn...
Oh, there's people at the bar over there.
He's got a blue.
They're fantastic.
Remember that when you're shitting later.
It's like, oh, fuck, am I dying?
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah, I also drank Windex.
That was fucked up of me to do.
It looked like a snow cone topping.
Windex, you know, a blue snow cone?
Sam.
What was the last movie you saw?
Well, I saw the movie It right before I went sweatshirt shopping.
He's been sitting on that one.
It's been a while.
Don't do it, don't do it.
Sit on it.
I saw A Quiet Place.
Oh.
Oh.
I've always thought they should make a movie about a librarian and the troubles that they have.
That's right.
Keeping a place quiet from monsters.
So you watched it in your home?
No, no, in theaters.
This was like maybe three weeks ago.
Oh, that's the Jim Halpert movie, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Krasinski, I should say.
Yeah, I don't know who said it, but somebody said it would be funny if he turned and shushed the camera.
I said that, too.
Oh, it was Ron Bennington.
I don't know, is there a monster?
It'd be funny if he falls in love with the monster
over two hours or whatever.
Also be ironic to play that movie in Harlem.
So now we're just striking a pose to get a laugh.
And we're after... Stay behind the joke.
These pussies were scared.
I don't even get the joke.
I couldn't follow it.
Because I'm still trying to think of
if Sam wants to tell us
what the last movie he really saw was.
It was a quiet place. There's no... See, I went all the Sam wants to tell us what the last movie he really saw was. It was A Quiet Place.
See, I went all the way back to It.
Did you like It?
A Quiet Place?
I see what you're doing.
This could go all night.
Right?
Yeah, A Quiet Place was great.
Really?
It was awesome.
Which movie are we talking about?
Alright, thanks everybody for answering so candidly
I know
You come on here, you don't want to have
hard balls thrown at you
or soft donuts
Actually, the last movie I saw was Hardball
It was thrown at me.
Doesn't matter.
Have you guys seen Hardball?
G-Baby dies.
I shouldn't have said anything.
Yeah, slow down on that tall boy.
What the fuck?
Wow, this guy in the audience is like a living commercial for Tecate.
It made me want another one. Tecate. It made me want another one.
Tecate.
All right.
Here's the part of the show where I say turn it off, Bert,
because I'm about to say, let the games begin.
Let the games begin.
Let the games begin These people have made name tags for your perusal and selection.
Gentlemen, pick the name tag that you would like to play for this evening
on behalf of, and they can win all the prizes.
If it's got something taped to it, you get to keep it.
Like if there's booze or candy or something
on it. This gentleman, of course, has another
box of donuts.
Everybody just jump up off
your stool. We just pick someone?
Go get it. I'll take the little Wolverine
fuck doll. Okay, here we go.
Little Wolverine.
I like a man who knows what he wants
and gets it right away.
Sam's got one.
Ron is gesturing, bring it to Mr. Bennington.
I'm going to take Paul there.
Tom Takara going for one of the nerdiest potential.
Oh, Mark loves Ted.
Let's hear from Ted a little bit later in the show.
All right.
He's got a lot of things to say, that bear.
All right.
Oh, you got real weed in the pipe.
Oh, we got more donuts.
Well done.
Oh, wait.
When I was holding it, he didn't have.
Oh, yeah, he did.
He's good.
I'm so glad I didn't throw him down on the ground.
It would have broke that pipe.
Hey.
Tasty cakes.
All right.
Got a lot of donuts up here.
Gonna have to get rid of one right now.
Now he throws one in anger!
Oh, shit!
Nice toss.
Yeah!
What are these?
Oh my god more donuts
Those actually look like donut plants
So those are pretty expensive
Yeah they're really sticky
It's going to get crazy in here you guys
Oh you guys bring so many donuts
Do you want us to have yours too?
Going for the back over there
Is it alright with you guys If I just hurl entire boxes into the crowd?
I almost took the light out.
I love how many people have their hands up like, yeah, throw a box of donuts at me.
Makes me want to.
Where's the section that all wants it?
Oh, my God.
Jesus.
Crazy.
I think I just hit the sound guy.
I'm very sorry.
My bad, Doug.
That was pretty sick, though.
All right.
Seriously, you guys.
Let's see who everybody's playing for.
Starting with Mark, you've got the Paul instead of Ted.
Yeah.
Teddy Bear from the motion picture.
Ted and Ted 2.
Yep.
Got real weed in the pipe and maybe a possible real joint.
Okay. Yeah. real joint. Okay.
Real joint.
Real pipe.
Good for you.
Touch his left hand.
Show us
Show us on this teddy bear where you were touched.
Just points to his heart.
I was touched in my heart. Okay, yeah, we'll all quiet down. Just points to his heart. I was touched in my heart.
Okay, yeah, we'll all quiet down.
Put it in his neck.
That's what you'll get
for fucking exercising.
Did he drop an F-bomb?
He did.
It was so cute that you thought
it came out of his mouth
like a real bear.
I love our gun-dog baby family.
Newsflash.
Boston whore has seen
Italian penis.
Boston whore has seen
Italian penis.
All right.
Pretty good.
This is going to fuck
some kid up.
Jim, who are you playing for?
Lil' Wolverine.
Lil' Vinny.
It's a sex doll made up
as a frequent guest on the show Sam Levine. Wool Vinny? It's a sex doll made up as a frequent guest in the show, Sam Levine.
Yeah.
And, um...
What's the name of the person you're playing for?
Who brought it?
Lil Wool Vinny.
Oh, Vinny.
Oh, shit, I didn't read it right.
Wool Vinny.
Okay, so Vinny is who you're playing for.
Okay, great.
Yeah, go ahead and put that down on the ground.
Tom, you've got a knitted glove on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is from Avengers, the Infinity War,
and it's Thanos' little hand or whatever with all the jewels in it.
It's much too hot.
Knitted by Katie, that's the name on it?
It's the Avengers Infinikaty War.
Infinikaty?
Infinikaty War.
Yeah, Katie's always making cool knitted stuff.
I saw a picture of this earlier today, and I was, yeah, I like it.
It's much too hot, though.
Right, I know, but in the wintertime,
you're going to be set with a Tecate in one hand
and a Thanos Infinity Glove on the other hand.
You're fucking set.
Oh, yeah, you can hold it in the glove when it's cold.
This is the missing jewel is this can of Tecate.
This is what you really need to end half of the population.
Have you guys not seen the movie?
It doesn't matter. It's well-n. Have you guys not seen the movie? It doesn't matter.
They may have seen
the movie, but they're probably still
keeping that reveal.
Katie, do you sell
this stuff?
No? You don't have like an Etsy
store?
You don't care anymore? You just make them for these
special occasions? Well, thank
you for doing that. Good lady. Katie! Yeah, give it up for Katie. And the one man brave
enough to reward her by picking her thing. Or not. Her stuff always gets picked by somebody.
She made a BB-8. She made a fucking face hugger. Oh, you made the BB-8? Hold on, I gotta pick
somebody else. No, I'm just kidding.
What do you got there, Ron?
It's a little embarrassing, Doug.
My guy just handed me an empty box.
He was waving it very proudly from the back there,
and I thought, that young man really wants to be part of this,
and it's just an empty box. Wow.
I thought my prize was bad.
If it means anything,
I'm not going to try very hard for him.
What's your name, dude?
Anthony?
I'll tell you what's up.
You gave Braun a fucking empty box.
Even I could keep up with that story.
What did they think when you were bringing that in?
He's playing for you because it worked.
He still gets played for.
Sam, what do you got?
I have to be honest.
This is probably the least creative
of the name tags, but the guy
I got it from looked so eager to be a part
of things. I wanted him to be a part.
It's a printout
of the poster of the Hurt Locker,
but it says the Bert Locker.
Awesome.
Bert instead of Hurt.
That's pretty good.
Play on words.
Pretty good. Well done.
So his name is Locker? Where's Bert? Play on words. That's right. Pretty good. Well done. Those names.
Locker?
Where's Birdie?
Locker up, of course.
Oh, man, I got donut on me.
All right, so that's who you guys are playing on behalf of.
One of those people is going to win all this stuff.
I've got a few games here.
How are we doing on time?
Great. This first game is called How Much Did This Shit Make? This is normally I would choose a movie that, you know,
that's not good.
Like bad movies. But this movie is, in the 15 reviews
it got when it came out,
put it at 100% on Rotten
Tomatoes. And I just saw
a revival of
the stage version of this movie.
It's called The Boys in the Band.
And
it was a good show if you the Band. And it was a good show, if you like plays.
And it's from 1970.
But how much did it make at the North American box office,
according to Wikipedia, without going over?
Sam, what is your guess?
Seven million dollars.
It's a film about a bunch of gay gentlemen having a party.
Seven and a half million dollars.
Ron, what do you think?
Well, I'm a little nervous about this one, Doug.
The 1970s was a pretty ugly time in this country.
I'm going to say $36,000.
Okay.
Stonewall, folks, look it up.
It's fucking terrible.
What do you think, Tom Takar?
Damn, I feel like money was a different thing back then.
You know what I mean?
Like, a million dollars back then was like $50 billion now.
I don't know.
Not really.
No, it's true.
Money really has changed.
That's why I use pot coin.
I'm going to say one million.
Okay.
It's about a group of gay people having a party?
Yeah, it's a party.
AIDS doesn't even come up because it's in 1970.
Sure.
But it's a lot of arguing about whether you should be closeted or not.
But people keep going to the bathroom to throw up during the movie?
I'm saying because they have AIDS and they don't know it.
Goddamn.
Oh, come on.
Wow.
Gee, I don't know about that.
Jesus Christ.
I'm a bad person.
I really am.
I'm a bad person.
I'm a bad person.
Oh, God.
One of the worst people.
Yikes.
Is it my turn to guess how much the movie about gay men?
I'm going to say $400 million.
You are brave.
You are brave, Jim Norton.
Stand by your boys in the band.
And what do you think there, Mark?
I'm going to say...
$300,000.
Okay.
Wait, I'll say $1.
$1.
I didn't know we could change answers, Doug.
Would you like to change your answer, Ron?
Quarter.
No, I'll say...
What did he say?
A quarter.
I'm just a little thrown off when Tom did that AIDS stuff.
That was very upsetting.
Remember that?
It was terrible.
That was upsetting.
Yeah, that's harsh.
You know what?
Doug has AIDS.
Yeah.
That's why I brought it up.
Figured I'd just slip it into the conversation,
get it over with.
I have been losing some weight.
What... and get it over with. I have been losing some weight. So you're happy with your bit?
I don't even know where we are, Doug,
so I'm going to hold.
We're in the great Gramercy Theater in New York City.
Let me start over.
Okay, so we got Mark on the end with a dollar.
Jim with $400 million. Tom, a dollar. Jim with $400 million.
Tom, of course, went with $1 million
because he loves the Austin Powers series.
Ron, $300,000?
I think I'm turning to $36,000.
$36,000, I apologize.
Well, money was different then.
Yes.
It's a crazy time.
Sam said $7 million.
$7 million. $7 million. Yes. It's a crazy time. Sam said seven million. Seven million.
Seven million. Yeah.
So, the winner
is
Tom Takar.
It made 3.5 million. Thank you!
I was right. AIDS
is wrong.
But it was in a very influential...
Do you think I'm serious? That's my
question. Do you think I'm anti-People with AIDS?
It's really interesting.
Come on, you guys, hang on.
I'm going to say the C word in a second.
Apparently, the boys in the band
is the first United States production
in which a character uttered the word cunt.
Really?
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Well, at least you know he wasn't eating it.
I thought that was Samantha Bee.
That's wild.
All gay.
I thought it was my dad in a home movie.
I was a sensitive boy.
Point the camera over here, you little...
You little feckless boy.
It's like you were there, Doug.
I didn't say it twice because I don't want this episode to get an R rating.
Sure.
You can say it once in a PG-13.
Yeah, like
in the... You just wait. Jurassic World,
the first time a dinosaur runs in, somebody
goes, cunt!
As long as
it's a non-sexual
usage of the word,
you can say it once.
Are you sure?
Are you sure that was the first time?
What?
That was really the first time?
I love that Jim is the cunt historian.
No, I've seen The Wizard of Oz.
When they were talking about the witch,
one of those little people said,
she's a cunt.
That's funny, I said little people to be politically correct and threw cunt out.
Fucking idiot.
Okay, so...
I think that's what they say.
It's in Wikipedia, you know?
So that's not necessarily true. It's in Wikipedia, you know? Sure. That's not necessarily true.
That's part of the fun.
So that means Tom Takara gets to go first in our next game,
and it's something called ABC Deez Nuts.
Oh, yeah.
Deez Nuts.
It's a spelling game of sorts.
Tom will start us off, and then we'll go to Jim,
and then to Mark, and then to Sam, and then to Ron.
Ron, I forgot to mention earlier in the show,
my money's on him to win tonight.
Me too.
Yeah.
I'm the Charlie.
That empty box, I'm fucking throwing it to it.
I'm telling you right now.
I'm the Pete Rose of podcasters.
I bet on my own games.
And my money's all on Ron.
All of my pot coins are on Ron.
And since y'all are on Sirius XM, we're going to spell the word satellite.
So the first letter goes to Tom.
It's S.
All you got to do, Tom, is name any movie
through the history of movies
that begins with the letter S.
But if you match the one that I've written down
that's part of the theme,
then you win automatically.
You win the whole game.
And the first letter in satellite, of course, is S.
Alright. I'm going to go with She's All That.
Perfectly good answer.
Fine answer.
Not what I wrote down.
Fuck.
How could you know the theme?
You went first.
I don't know why I think first is an advantage of some kind.
It's really a disadvantage.
I went with Silent Running.
I almost said that.
Yeah, Bruce Dern and some robots.
Sam and I agree that robots are bad.
That's right.
We're both anti-robot, even though his name is suspiciously close to robot,
and therefore makes me think he's just pretending to be against robots,
because he is one who just changed his name.
Don't worry about that.
Spoken like a true robot.
Calmly.
This is true about Sam, though, and I'll say that.
He's not real, but his love is.
Oh.
Whose tagline is that, anyway? Okay, so
next letter to Jim is A.
Any movie begins with A.
Against the odds.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Take a look at me now.
I am just an empty space.
I went with Alien.
What's that?
Alien.
Alien?
Yeah, it's about Ice comes in and says, hey, time to go.
Oh, hey, I don't go for that type of humor.
It's a real thing going on.
That's all it is, a reference.
I didn't say anything pro-ice.
I meant to.
No.
T is the next letter for you there, Mark Norman.
I'll go with a twister.
Oh, yeah.
I said 2010.
Yeah.
Also referred to as the year we make contact.
Starring Gogo Lithgow.
Your letter, Sam, is E.
Exit through the gift shop.
Oh, I like that movie.
I said Ender's Game.
L, Ron like that movie. I said Ender's Game. Elrond.
Hubbard.
You beat me to it.
First of all, I just realized I have no idea how to spell satellite.
I was like, obviously there's two T's.
Yeah, I was way into a T for myself.
I kind of feel like I'm picking up on this.
Is it Logan's run?
No.
But that was, you don't have to leave.
I went with a movie called Life.
Not the Martin Lord's Eddie Murphy thing.
The white one.
The Gyllenhaal Reynolds one.
Black life matter.
Okay, we got another L there for Tom.
Shit.
I'm going to go with Lion.
Lion?
Yeah.
Okay, that was a good movie.
I know what you're doing.
I can't think of the fucking...
Right?
Didn't you wish you'd said Lost in Space?
Ah!
God damn it!
No.
I is the next letter for Jim.
Inception.
Oh, great guess.
Same director.
Interstellar.
That's what I was going to say for I!
Dude, when I fucked up that I thought the two T's were in there,
I was going to fucking say Interstellar.
God damn it!
I'm dumb.
All right, now, Mark, I'm not going to fucking say Interstellar. God damn it. I'm dumb. All right.
Now, Mark, I'm not going to say this is going to be easy.
Yeah.
But I think you should get this.
Oh, shit.
I have T?
Yeah.
Tron?
Oh!
No.
2001, A Space Odyssey.
I didn't know we could use the numbers.
Oh, I really had that in my head, but I was like, it's a number.
He'll squash me.
Now, Sam could bring this whole thing home if he's got a good E.
Hell yeah.
I do have a good one.
Yeah?
Earth girls are easy. You motherfucker.
Oh!
That is a good one, but I went with Event Horizon.
What?
I really thought you did.
Yeah, you guys got shut out.
Damn it.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
But that was fun though, right?
For you.
Yes, for me, it was very fun.
Sorry, Bert.
No, dude, you're doing great for your, no one's won yet.
Yeah, this part doesn't matter.
Tom's untouchable right now.
He does get to go first again.
We're going to switch the order up.
We're going to go to Ron and then Sam and then Mark and Jim.
And we're going to play, to determine the winner tonight,
a game called Last Man Stanton.
Last Man Stanton.
tonight, a game called Last Man Stanton.
I'm going to get the name of an actor or actress from a pre-selected audience member that I met on Twitter.
We don't really meet, you know what I mean.
They'll tell us the name of the actor.
You guys take turns naming movies that actor was in.
If you can't think of one, you're out,
but you always have your lifeline. You can go one
time to the person whose name tag
you chose, even if it was an empty box.
Ha ha.
Ha ha.
Ha ha.
Ha ha.
And, uh,
yeah, that explains it.
Let's see who tweeted me.
Where is B Hilton Hale?
Oh, shit.
How's it going up there?
Is it fun up there?
You want a donut?
No, not you guys.
The person I'm talking to.
Do you want one that's gross or disgusting?
I don't know if this is going to work.
Oh, he's standing up up there.
Holy shit.
Well, there's somebody passing by.
That's going to be some collateral damage right there. Holy shit. Well, there's somebody passing by. That's going to be some collateral damage right there.
Alright. Who is that lady?
Is she off to teach a class at
Hogwarts?
Alright, here we go.
Oh.
Did I hit the lights? I always hit the lights when I try
to go that far.
Sorry, dude.
Watch yourself.
There you go.
Yeah, yeah, we got a lot of them.
All right, so what's your suggestion?
Who?
Cuba Gooding Jr. Come on.
All right, so Mark is voicing displeasure.
Wow.
You're not into it?
He stinks.
There's only so many.
He doesn't have that many movies.
Right.
There's like seven.
Wait, what was the first part?
He stinks?
He stinks.
Whoa.
Wait, you can't look it up.
All right, so since the panel is being picky, I mean, nobody else said anything,
but I think we'll go for a twofer.
I'll get a second name.
You can name movies from either of those two people.
Oh.
If you don't like the second name, then I can't.
My head is spinning right now.
I have no idea.
Where is Ex-Conzo?
Conzo!
What's up?
What's that name mean, Ex-Conzo?
Ex-Conzo's a family nickname?
Because you got out of prison and you're cute or something?
What does that mean?
You're all Italian and been in prison.
Ex-Conzo. You're all Italian and been in prison. Ex-Conzo.
Slice up the garlic, Ex-Conzo.
Okay.
And who are you suggesting?
Jeff Bridges.
Jeff Bridges.
Come on.
That's a big one.
Guy's done nothing.
What?
I prefer Bo. Yeah. Come on. That's a big one. Guy's done nothing. What?
I prefer Bo.
Yeah.
Jeff Bridges has three movies.
He's got a couple more than that.
We can interchange in and out with Cuba and Jeff.
Cuba or Jeff.
Or Bo.
What?
Or Bo or Lloyd.
You know, fucking yes.
Fucking Bo as well.
Bo Bridges. Oh! Jeff fucking yes. Fucking Bo as well. Bo Bridges.
Whoa!
Jeff Bridges.
That's too much.
Too much.
Okay.
Any major bridge that's in the continental U.S.? Cuba Gooding Jr.
Lloyd.
Lloyd.
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Omar Gooding Jr.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
Damon Wayans Junior.
Any of those people. Odell Beckham
Junior. Any Junior.
The Movie Junior.
Well now you ruined that one.
Oh shit. Yeah. Alright.
So we'll start with Tom and then
Ron is up next. Alright.
And just wait for me to call you guys
so we can really build up the drama on this thing.
Tom?
I feel like I got to take it first.
The Big Lebowski.
You're always taking it first.
Ron?
Doug, I prefer to play this the way this gentleman
meant the game to be played from the beginning.
And I'm going to go Jerry Maguire.
Ah, fuck.
And be as fair as possible.
Nice.
What do you think there, Sam?
I think Ron's right.
That is how we should be playing the game.
And I pick snow dogs.
You suck.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Mark Norman.
I'm going to ride this train to Cuba.
And I'm going to go with as good as it gets.
Ooh.
Yes. Ooh. Yes.
Jim.
Am I allowed to say
the O.J. Simpson?
No.
Television show, Jim.
Oh, it was still a movie.
TV movie.
Doug loves movies.
Oh, okay.
Doug loves murderers.
Jim hates Sam's.
Okay, fine.
Against the odds. What's that? Yeah, Against the odds.
What's that?
Yeah, against the odds.
Of course.
It already came up earlier.
I sang a little bit of it.
A little recycling.
Isn't it against all odds?
What did he say?
Against all odds.
I thought you said against the odds.
Oh, I did, yes, but it's against all odds.
That's correct.
Oh, my mistake.
No, because I said against the
odds before and no one corrected me, so that became the name
of the film for this.
And even
Phil Collins in the song for the movie
even says, against all the odds.
He throws a the in there. Yeah, he does.
You're right. Yeah, he's crazy. That's true.
Yeah, he's, I mean, Susudio was
bad enough, but then... Alright, Tom Tak crazy. That's true. Yeah, I mean, Susudio was bad enough, but then...
All right, Tom Chikar.
I'm going to keep the old trip to Cuba.
I'm going to go boat trip.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, my favorite AIDS movie.
I'm going to stick on brand.
I don't like this either.
I don't like this either.
Don't forget to check out You Up with Nikki Glaser and
AIDS comic.
She should get a new sidekick.
How long till Tom uses rent?
Ron Bennington.
Well, I'm a little concerned here.
I don't want to come off as a racist.
But I'm going to say Boys in the Hood.
Oh, fuck.
Is that correct?
It's one of the better Jeff Bridges movies.
He's so great as Doughboy.
I can't believe I pulled
the name of a character
from that movie.
That was great.
Sam?
What's the name of that movie
with George Clooney
where he's in Hawaii?
Oh, you know, it's called...
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, Ron can help you. Yeah, and also called... Oh. Yeah, oh.
Ron can help you.
Yeah, and also you can go to your Lifeline.
But also, it's the films of both the great Cuba Gooding Jr. and Jeff Bridges,
both Oscar winners.
I've been... Both looking fine in a cowboy hat.
The name of the movie Blue Hawaii was suggested to me,
but I don't think I'm going with Blue Hawaii.
That's like an Elvis movie.
Yeah, I'm going to go to my lifeline.
Bert.
Okay, what do you got, Bert?
Tron.
Tron, of course.
Tron.
Tron is right there.
Me and Bert.
Tron, okay.
I forgot Cuba Gooding Jr. was in that.
It's easy to forget, you know.
Who wants a bag of donuts? Joey.
Joey does, of course.
Good catch, Joey.
Uh, where are we at? Who's up?
Mark?
Uh, as a guy who used to work at Blockbuster,
I don't think I ever saw this, but I saw the cover.
So I'm going to say Breathless.
What?
You're thinking of Richard Gere?
The audience is saying no.
Breathless?
The audience is telling you no.
That's Richard Gere.
But do you trust him?
Richard Gere.
Is it?
Yeah, Richard Gere was in a movie called Breathless,
a remake of L of the God.
Luke of the God.
Jean-Luc of the God.
It's something with a B.
Jean-Luc.
What blockbuster did you work at?
Hey, what are you doing?
Why don't you go to your lifeline,
and then by the time it comes back around to you,
you might have some ideas, maybe some sequels.
Oh, what are you doing, sir?
You're the worst lifeline I've ever heard.
I know.
Jeez.
He's just guessing. He said
Tron 2. So he's saying the sequel,
you know, the long-awaited
sequel. Trunk. Shh. What?
Shh. What's he got? You got it?
Oh, he's in Iron Man 2, right?
Wait, what's happening?
He's got the
right answer, I think. Sorry.
There you go.
What are you saying? Tron Legacy is correct.
Very good.
But also, you threw out a great clue for somebody else.
That first guess was stupid.
Yeah.
He's in something like Breathless or Breakaway or something.
All right.
There's no reason to keep guessing.
Sorry.
Jim?
Officer and a Gentleman.
No!
No, I'm kidding.
It's another Richard Gere movie.
I've got nowhere else to go.
I think you're thinking of Fearless.
With Rosie Perez and Benicio Del Toro.
And the dead bubbles.
You worked at Major Video.
Great movie to see on a plane.
Fearless.
Right.
Tom?
I'm going to go with a fine film that's related to all of us on this panel.
Radio!
Radio, of course.
Why didn't that happen sooner?
Ron Bennington.
I'd move it over to the bridges.
I'm going to go Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, ladies and gentlemen.
Wow.
That was almost a bridges too far.
What do you think, Sam?
Did any of that spark any ideas in you?
Do you think you can come to life?
Iron Man 2?
Shit, that was my fault.
Okay, say it again slower. Iron Man 2. Shit, that was my fault. Okay, say it again slower.
Iron Man.
Stop.
I meant Iron Man 2.
That's another movie to bring up.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Iron Man is correct.
Iron Man as well, I should have said.
Ah, fuck me.
Mark.
I don't know why none of you guys took that one.
Yeah, Iron Man was good.
Paul's out.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, he was very little help.
I know the movie.
You shouldn't miss him.
I just don't know the title.
Oh, okay. Why don't miss him. I just don't know the title. Oh, okay.
Why don't you do the math?
I can act it out.
Talk it through.
Maybe when you're describing it, you'll land on the title.
Like, oh, there's a guy who's on a roof.
He seemed fearless.
Backdraft?
What?
That's Russell. For which one? Bo. Bo? That's Russell
For which one?
Bo
Bo's not in that
First of all
I can't believe
somebody's trying
a Bo Bridges
at this point
That's Kurt Russell
Well it's like
a lot of
Alan Paul and Bo Russell
and
De Niro
Baldwin
Yeah
Oh you're thinking
of Janine Garofalo
She in that? No Oh Alright De Niro. Baldwin. Yeah. Oh, you're thinking of Janine Garofalo.
She in that?
No.
Oh.
All right.
So you're out then.
I got the movie in my head, but you got it. Yeah, I don't have the title.
You got it.
I'm out.
All right.
Sorry, guys.
Thanks for playing, dude.
Good to be here.
Yeah.
Real solid effort.
Don't tell people you came in fifth place.
Just say that you were in
also ran
is this the whole game or is there another one after this
this is the determining game
people have places to go
Jim's got a doll to fuck
I wonder if Sam Levine
is like looking at the same moon as you fucked that thing.
The same moon.
You're such a romantic guy, even telling a dirty joke.
Jim, what do you think?
King Kong.
King Kong, that's right, with Jessica Lange.
Very good.
Do you want this weed off of this guy?
You take it.
You sure?
I took the joint already.
Because you can have the fun pipe, too.
He always brings fun pipes.
I've got to go to a show.
Okay.
But thank you, Paul.
Okay, good job, Paul.
Sorry about the loss.
What was your answer, Jim?
King Kong.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Tom? I'm going to go to my lifeline, because? King Kong. Oh, yeah. Okay. Tom?
I'm going to go to my lifeline because I think I have one, but I think I might be thinking of the wrong guy.
Oh, shit.
What do you got?
Fisher King.
She says Fisher King.
There it is.
Katie.
Fisher King.
That was the one you were trying to think of?
No, no.
Mark?
No, no.
But I'm not going to describe, because it might jog something.
Okay.
This is a bag of two donuts.
Oh, front row, this'll be easy.
There you go.
Uh, Ron.
Oh, wait.
Yeah, okay, Ron.
I'm gonna go...
No, wait.
Oh, good one!
Hell or high water. Hell or high No, wait. Oh, good one.
Hell or high water. Hell or high water, everybody.
Come on.
Love that movie.
Thank you.
I was saving that one.
God damn it.
Well done, Ronnie.
Thank you, everybody.
Shit.
Sam.
Hmm.
Did anybody say things that helped you think of another?
Yeah, but I'm in the Mark Norman boat of
knowing movies that I don't know the
words that are in the titles.
Yes. Same boat,
different hairline.
Yeah.
Easy joke. Easy joke.
I'm already out.
What do you think? I was hoping they would laugh longer so I'm already out. What do you think?
I was hoping they would laugh longer so I could think longer.
I can keep going.
You have the cheeks of a toy soldier.
Yes.
All right.
That was a pretty long laugh.
Yeah, no.
He really had a nice window there.
Yeah.
Really could have come up with something.
I feel like there's like Western movies.
Oh, boy, are there ever.
Yeah.
Yes, there are.
Oh, now Tom's got one. I think's got one He's got one of those shirts
Hell yeah
Wolves, baby
Ron Bennington with the assist
He's suggesting the good, the bad, and the ugly
Classic western, he's right about that
Does fit that genre, but no.
I don't remember.
Let's say Tombstone.
Oh, that's not bad.
We're really hitting all the Kurt Russell movies.
Overboard.
What?
Oh, yeah, Kurt Russell.
I get it.
Okay, so you're out
Not Tombstone then
Sorry buddy
Bert I'm very sorry
Yeah it's okay
Bert doesn't know either
Alright Jimmy
Bert knows that he's pissed
What do you got Jimmy
I'm gonna go to the Lifeline pissed. What do you got, Jimmy?
I'm going to go to the Lifeline.
Who's in the hit list?
Cuba Gooding Jr. in the hit list.
Thank you. Good one.
The hit list.
That's the thing with Wahlberg?
What?
Okay, now...
Now I'm thinking I might have to bring in the corrections department.
Tom?
I want to say 310 to Yuma.
Yes.
For which one?
For Bridges, baby.
He's not in that.
Isn't that right?
Should have said Cuba. He's not in that. Yeah't that right? Should have said Cuba.
Is it Cuba? Yeah, I might have fallen
for it if you say Cuba.
Can I?
You don't have to tell him who it actually is.
Is he not in that? What is he?
Who are you looking at? Oh, I don't know.
Don't go to the audience for help.
I wasn't asking for help. I was asking
for affirmation. I don't know.
I had another one, but I don't know.
What's the other one you were thinking of?
Furious 7, but I think that's Kurt Russell now.
Yeah, it is.
God damn it.
Talk about big trouble in little China.
All right.
The thing is that we have to move on.
Is Ron still in?
Yes.
I am.
Okay, what do you got, Ron?
I'm going to say True Grit.
True Grit.
True Grit.
That's it.
True Grit.
That's the one.
Right?
That's the one. Yeah. That's a hard title to come up with. True Grit's the Yuma. That's the one. Right? That's the one.
Yeah.
That's a hard title to come up with.
True grit's the Yuma.
That's the one.
It takes two to tango and cash.
If you would have said Kurt Russell,
these guys would have been amazing.
Yeah.
That joke really made me want to escape from New York.
Yeah!
Oh, now!
Yeah!
Woo, that was a load of work.
So, Pirate Ron was correct.
These guys are still in it.
They're death-proof.
Me and Ron...
Oh!
You see?
That's a good pick.
Kurt Kuba.
You're like a computer who wore tennis shoes.
And you slip out of those, and you're like a barefoot executive.
Okay, where are we at?
Jim, back to Jim.
The Vanishing.
Oh!
Oh, of course.
Pull that out of your ass.
Nice.
Really creepy movie.
Bless you, audience member who sneezed.
Tom is out.
I'm out.
Out.
Ron.
Bless you again.
It's moving.
She is allergic to the finish of a competition.
Very strange allergy.
I'm going to go last picture show.
Wow.
Last picture show.
Wow.
Wow.
What a film, huh, folks?
What a film.
What an audience.
Yes.
Good one. Deep Deep Cut McGee.
Back to Jim.
This is exciting.
Now, were you kidding when you said Bo Bridges?
No, you could say Bo Bridges.
Movies.
The Incident.
Ah!
Bo Bridges, Martin Sheen.
Okay.
Ed McMahon.
Tony Bersanti.
Cuba.
Yes.
The country.
Jim's doing his confident lean.
Yeah, he might win based on that.
Sam just slapped his knee as if to say, I just thought of another one.
I just thought of that George Clooney movie I was thinking of in the beginning.
What was it?
I can't. Oh, sorry. What was it? Shh. I can't.
Oh, oh, oh.
Sorry.
Ron.
Jeff Bridges.
Your intro is special about him.
What an actor Jeff Bridges is, you know?
We could just sit for a while and think about all the great movies.
Oh, so many great movies.
Yeah.
I'm going to go to Boxy right now.
Boxy.
What dreams may come?
It's Cuba, bro.
Okay, let me repeat what he's saying.
What dreams may come?
That's Cuba, bro.
It's Cuba, bro.
He also wants us to know
there's a missing child in this house.
Sure, I just took it to myself.
Did someone say don't call it a callback?
He's been here for years.
Okay.
Jim, do you have another one?
Yeah, but I'm trying to get the exact name of it.
It's a Cuba Gooding De Niro movie.
Yes.
I had that one too.
Couldn't think of the name.
Nope, me neither.
You got it.
Dig deep.
Yeah.
Just work through it. Stand with honor.
Close.
Oh.
One less word?
With honor was my first
thought. No, no.
Did I make a correct?
Stand honor.
Stand honor, yes, about abusing a woman.
That guy clapped too hard.
Ron, do you have another one?
Look.
I mean,
you know,
Bo and Jeff Bridges together.
Okay, don't say it.
Don't say it.
I just wanted to know
if you had another one.
Jim?
I do.
I'm going to help you out here.
I do have another one, yeah.
Oh, you do?
Oh, yeah!
Yeah.
What is it?
The Bridges Follies.
Oh!
Starring Jeff and Bo.
No, I was going to help you out
with that other one.
You said With Honor?
With Honor, yeah.
Yeah.
Are they in black?
What? What?
Right?
Does that make sense as a clue?
What's that?
Who's in black?
Oh, men in black.
Fuck.
Men in black?
Fuck, I can't believe I didn't think of that.
What movie is...
So who's with honor?
Who's with honor?
Yeah.
That was...
Oh, my God.
Oh. Oh, Men With Honor?
I think that's it.
Is that it?
Oh, fuck.
What is it?
I don't know.
I don't know the movie.
I thought I was close to it.
Ron, go ahead and bring this home.
Of course.
It's Jeff and Bo Bridges together
with lovely Michelle Pfeiffer.
Wow. They play the piano.
But if you bring an empty box and hand it to me,
you don't get shit.
Oh! Oh, man.
All right.
This has never happened before.
But Jim is our winner.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Jim is our winner.
Congratulations.
I like how Ron's acting like you didn't choose the box.
You still took it.
Don't steal my moment. That was really...
It's everything I ever wanted.
It's your moment.
Katie, did you put a shithead on the Infinity Glove?
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I need that.
And you want this back, right?
Yes.
Do you want to keep it, Tom?
No, no, no.
He's just going to jerk off with it.
It does look nice.
The old Pearl Thanos.
Wait, we still never got the title, by the way.
What?
Never got the title.
Yeah, because he quit.
He's not going to give everyone the satisfaction.
Don't steal my moment.
All right, sorry.
I want to know what it is.
Oh, it's called The Fabulous Baker Boys.
All right.
What was the Cuba Gooding De Niro movie?
Men of Honor?
Oh, okay. Oh, of honor, thank movie? Men of Honor? Oh, okay.
Oh, of honor, thank you.
Men of Honor.
Cuba in a scuba.
I knew it had men in it.
I knew it was men.
Wait, wasn't he in a movie where he was like a road country singer?
Yeah, Crazy Horse.
That was the one!
That was the one!
Starman!
Starman!
Did I ask you?
Crazy Horse!
What else did we miss?
Crazy Horse!
Jim, I can't believe you didn't remember...
Oh, no, that was Ned Beatty.
Oh, Crazy Heart!
Crazy Heart!
Crazy Heart!
Cuba Gooney Jr. is it coming to America?
Oh, yeah.
What?
The Descendants was the one I was thinking.
Descendants.
Descendants.
All right, so Rat Race.
Descendants.
Oh.
Wait, K-Pax?
Starman.
RIPD.
RIPD.
It's chaos.
Wasn't he also in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World?
He's yelling every title Mad, Mad World? Every title.
Yeah.
Who?
Rat Race.
Oh, wait.
Sea Hunt.
Sea Biscuit.
Sea Hunt.
Who's in Hot Shots?
Kurt Russell?
Pearl Harbor. fuck me.
Good one.
That's a good one.
Yeah, American Gangster.
Yeah, Doug.
We get it.
They just keep yelling at us.
Like, seriously, if we stood here for an hour,
would you guys still keep yelling out?
Prove it.
But Little Wolverine, come get your prizes, dude. Prove it But
Little Wolver Vinny
Come get your prizes dude
Congratulations to Wolver Vinny
Wait that might have been Kurt Russell
Actually
That was Kurt Russell right
You lying bastard
There you go
Do you want some donuts
Do you want an empty box
Cause that's what that is Hang on hang on You want some donuts? It's not easy up here. Here's a box of donuts. Do you want an empty box?
Because that's what that is.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Here we go.
Here you go.
Here you go.
You get some donuts.
Congratulations, son.
There's a couple more boxes down front here that we didn't get around to throwing out into the audience,
so anybody just come down and grab some out of there if you want.
I mean, not right now, dude.
Have some kooth.
You can take one now. I'm just fucking around.
You can take one while we're doing
the plugs. Sam Roberts, what do you
got to plug, dude?
Jim Norton and Sam Roberts every morning
on Sirius XM 103
at 8 a.m. Eastern and Sam Roberts every morning on Sirius XM 103 at 8 a.m. Eastern
and Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast every Thursday where podcasts are available.
Nice.
Thank you for being here.
Ron Bennington.
I just want to plug I'll be going to Costa Rica to work with sick children.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you to the people of Costa Rica.
They're very, very important.
Oh, okay.
He yelled,
congratulations, Grandpa.
Which I think because,
you know,
he's often mistaken
for Al Lewis.
Remember who you brought up
earlier,
I'm going to be a grandfather?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I knew why.
I knew why he was saying it.
But it was just so, it was just sort of like throwing in that, like, I'm going to be a grandfather? Yeah, I knew why. I knew why he was saying it, but it was just
sort of like throwing in that, like, I'm going to be real
personal with this guy
from my seat in the audience.
What is happening?
Yeah, get that donut, bitch!
Yeah!
Are we looking for Amber again? What's going on?
Wait, why is it...
What's going on with the lights?
Holy shit, that edible took forever to kick in.
All right, Tom Takar.
Up with Nikki Glaser.
Get up with Nikki Glaser.
Fuck it up with Nikki Glaser.
With honor.
Nikki Glaser.
With honor.
10 a.m. to noon, Sirius XM, Comedy Central 95.
Also, check out my podcast,
Stand By Your Band,
where we have comics
to defend shitty music
like Nickelback
and Coldplay and stuff.
We're doing a live one
at Caroline's every month
where we have comics
to do a battle of the bands.
It's a good time.
Check it out.
Thanks, Andy.
Jim Norton,
same thing Sam said,
plus.
Just,
I have a bunch of dates
on sale, gigs, jimnorton.com,
and also the Chip Chipperson podcast.
I'm doing live shows September 15th in Boston at the Somerville Theater
and September 16th in Long Island at the Paramount.
Both are almost sold out, so if you want to come see the podcast live, get tickets.
Yay.
Yay.
Mark Norman.
I'm going to be in
Brick, New Jersey at the Kurt
Russell Film Festival.
No, I got a bunch of
dates up too. MarkNormanComedy.com
and check out my podcast, Tuesdays
with Stories.
Yeah, praise Allah.
This weekend,
you'll be in Salt Lake City at Wise Guys.
Yes.
I'm doing
Doug Lowe's movies there
next month.
Great club.
I know.
It would be good
to be there at the same time.
Yeah.
Yeah, Tom's going
to be there soon.
I had one more plug
I wanted to say.
Oh, Doug Lowe's movies
is coming to Pittsburgh
finally on Saturday,
June 30th at 420 at the Rex Theater.
And thank you again to everybody who came out tonight.
Thank you.
Thank you to the Gramercy Theater.
Have some snow cones.
One more time for all of my guests.
Mark Norman, Jim Norton, Ron Bennington,
Tom Takar, and Sam Robots, Roberts.
And as always, as always,
the Fox News right wing lying propaganda machine
is a shithead.
Snooze right wing lying propaganda machine is a shithead.
Roger Goodell.
People that correct grammar on Twitter.
Congress.
Trump graduated from being a shithead to just being a full fresh warm piece of dog shit.
That's all stuff Ted says if you hold his hand. websites that ask me to download their mobile app
before I can proceed or shit in.
And finally, on the empty box,
yeah, he did write a shithead on the back.
And it is...
Me for sharing a birthday with Donald Trump.
I don't have a birthday with Donald Trump.
Is a shithead! Is a shithead!