Doug Loves Movies - Jimmy Pardo, Matt Belknap, Eliot Hochberg and Garon Cockrell guest
Episode Date: December 24, 2020In a special holiday Doug Loves Movies-Never Not Funny cross-over event, Doug welcomes Jimmy Pardo, Matt Belknap, Eliot Hochberg and Garon Cockrell to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://a...rt19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love Never Not Funny.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you once again from the age of uncertainty for another
Homes Alone edition.
It's Wednesday, December 23rd, 2020, and my guests today are the four gentlemen who comprise
the cast, is that the right word for it?
The cast of the Never Not Funny podcast called Never Not Funny. Oh oh my god my phone is ringing that's not
supposed to happen hang on a second you sure you're not playing pachenka exactly
well fortunately it was spam risk and whenever he calls i just let it go to voicemail
wow i just snorted at that.
We all did.
How's it going, guys?
Good.
Great.
Hello, Doug.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Let's introduce you individually, starting with the host, the creator of Never Not Funny, of course, is Jimmy Pardo.
Hey, Jimmy.
Doug, it's a pleasure to be back.
The last time I was on, I forget how I did, but I'd like to think I did okay, but I'm
not anticipating that today.
Well, you know, we started a game on the Never Not Funny podcast when I was on recently.
Yes, sir. And we didn't get to finish it.
And I said, let's finish it over on Doug Lowe's movie.
So we're making this a crossover event.
I see.
And so do you have points accumulated so far?
Yes.
So far, each of you has a point except for Matt.
Okay.
Tie game, except for Matt. Okay. Tie game except for one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I discussed with Matt what would happen next in the order,
and we're just going to settle the game that we started over there
was the Leonard Maltin game.
And so that's what we'll do a little later on in the show
is we'll pick that up and finish it off.
Great.
If listeners want to go back,
they can find the beginning of this game on episode 27,
14 of never not funny.
Oh,
so anyone can travel through time.
Now that's fantastic.
Just jump back there and check it out.
And then,
and then come back to this show.
I love,
I love that plan.
Yeah.
And if you haven't been listening to never not funny,
I don't know what your problem is.
It's part now of the misfit toys collection.
Is that right,
Jimmy?
That's correct.
A misfit toys collection involves a shows like never not funny.
Doug loves movies.
Wide world of Doug's Mike Schmidt's 40 year old boy,
Jen Kirkman's no fun. and Jonah Ray's new one.
What's that one called, Matt?
Let Me Watch Your Movie With You?
I never get the name right.
I feel bad that I can't commit it to memory, but it's...
Yeah, is it Let Me or May I?
Like, where is his politeness?
Let me look it up.
And then, lastly, The Todd Glass Show.
Yes.
It's part of Misfit Toys, the collection over there, the collective.
Yeah, it's a great group of shows.
Agreed.
Proud to be a part of it.
I think I got it right.
Let me watch your movie with you.
Let me.
Yeah, so he doesn't even, he's not even asking nicely.
He's just basically demanding it.
Yeah, let me do that. Yeah. That wasn't on the basically demanding it. Hey, let me do that.
Yeah.
Hey, you gonna let me do that?
Let me ask you one favor, though.
Do they watch the whole thing, Matt, you think?
I think they do, because the premise is, it's cool.
You can sync it up to the movie itself.
They give you a little tone at the beginning,
so you can watch it and listen to them.
Like it's an audio commentary track.
I bet you also,
if it's like a few seconds off,
it's not going to really matter.
Cause they're not,
they're like,
they probably go off on tangents quite a bit.
Not like they're,
it's not like they're doing the lines in sync.
So they're going to throw everything off.
If it's not,
that's my least favorite thing in commentary tracks.
When they start just talking about stuff where it's like stuff is happening on the screen that I want to know stuff about.
But there's telling a story about something that happened early.
Those kind of commentaries bug me, but I'm sure with Jonah leading the way, they really probably, you know, cover a lot of stuff and ask questions as they go.
Is it commentary or is he doing like a mystery science theater sort of thing?
It's a little of both.
Combo.
Yeah.
They're sort of talking about the making.
Because each guest is someone who made the movie.
It's either a writer or a director or an actor.
And so they're sort of talking about the making of the movie,
but also sort of having fun at the movie's expense a little bit, I think.
You know what I call that, Matt?
Combo. Yeah. movie but also sort of having fun at the movie's expense a little bit i think you know what i call that matt combo yeah that uh every once in a while a filmmaker involved with the movie would be at a benson movie interruption and it was a real special kind of uncomfortable
yeah so fortunately jonah's watching movies that he already admires with a person who is involved in making it.
So it's not a it doesn't become a roast.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for being here, Jimmy.
I am thrilled to be here.
Since we've already heard so much from him, let's say hello to co-producer of doug loves movies and second chair if that's an
expression you guys even use at all over there uh never not funny it's matt in search of sasquatch
bell nap oh no you're blowing up my spot yeah that's me uh hey friend how's it going that you
just that's so weird that you said that because I was, for some reason, just this morning thinking about I ran into Jon Hamm at the UCB one time.
And it was after, I guess, I had met him doing Never Not Funny.
But he said, hey, Matt, I didn't realize you were in search of Sasquatch, the guy who started AST.
And I was like, how the fuck does Jon Hamm know what AST is?
And like my screen name, it just totally like threw me for a loop that he would be aware of that.
I guess I didn't realize what a big comedy fan he was at the time.
Like he had been hanging out at Largo for years and all that other stuff, but I didn't know that.
was at the time uh like he had been hanging out at largo for years and all that other stuff but i didn't know that so uh i've just like stunned uh into silence at that yeah he just lurked around
on special thing and hung out in the back at largo and stuff and just he basically figured out how
comedy works from all of us and then now he seems hilarious right it it worked for him he's not fine it really did he went to he went to
comedy school in los angeles while starring as don draper on madman uh by the way i'll just jump
in with this matt i had the same experience backstage at the ucb when john asked to be on
never not funny and i was like you know about never not funny goes yeah i listen to it every
day in my trailer like what what and uh and i of course said no you will never guest on my podcast you have enough
yeah um do any of the other guests want a ham drop
elliot you want to talk about how good he smells i know that's one of your favorite
so so here's the thing i have brought it up but I don't know if everybody understands why I know this. By the way, I'm Elliot.
Hi.
So one of the appearances on Never Enough Funny, the one where John had gone to the local deli and actually had purchased a ham sandwich for both food and comedy purposes.
He and I were wearing the same magenta, blue and white plaid.
He was wearing a collared shirt and I was wearing a hoodie.
And so I said, well, I don't normally take pictures with guests, but I have to take a picture of with Jon Hamm with the same pattern.
And also he he you know, he he brought his sandwich up to be in one of the pictures as well.
But anyway, that is as close as I've ever stood to Jon Hamm.
to be in one of the pictures as well.
But anyway, that is as close as I've ever stood to Jon Hamm.
And it is an unavoidable fact when you are head near head to Jon Hamm that he smells wonderful.
Just a quick follow-up from Jimmy Pardo, host of Never Not Funny.
Curious, who looked better in that shirt, just out of curiosity?
I mean, I suppose it depends on your background, Jimmy,
but I think most people would prefer John Hamm.
I see.
All right.
Just want to make sure.
I just didn't want to know if I had it down wrong on my piece of paper.
It's amazing that even with that drugstore ham sandwich,
he still smelled amazing.
You'd think that would have overpowered all of other smells.
That was Elliot Hochberg with that.
That smelly story. And let's not forget the beast.
Karen Cockrell is here. Hey, Karen. Hello. This is very exciting. I'm really happy to be here.
Oh, well, I'm happy to have you here. I, you know, I had this idea to have all you guys on several years ago and then didn't bother to say it out loud until just recently, but I'm glad that it has happened.
And I'd like to ask you all a question before we get to the game portion of the show.
Let's start with Jimmy can answer it first unless he wants to pass.
I will answer first.
I'm also very excited that I get to meet this new guy, Elliot Hochberg.
I'm very excited to meet him.
Wait, what?
I wasn't going to correct the pronunciation, Doug, because it just isn't fair.
But it's Hochberg.
If you want to get the pronunciation the way my dad decided it's supposed to be.
Oh, I see.
That's why I took the hit for you, Elliot,
so that you didn't have to be that jerk going,
oh, actually, it's pronounced this.
I took the hit for you.
I swear, I was also saying it from what I thought was how I've heard it being said.
Oh, I'm sure you've heard it said that way somewhere in the world
if you've been around anybody else who bothered to say my name.
There's also a chance I've said it that way for humor in front of doug i was gonna point the finger squarely at jimmy for saying that jokingly
because you do that all the time again that may be why i took the hit on this more than happy to do
it uh and not to belabor this point but um apparently everyone else in the Hochberg clan pronounces it Hochberg. Nope. But, but we, my dad decided that that was
incorrect, which he is sort of right. Cause the German word is Hochberg. He's a hundred percent
right. Those other people are wrong. And so therefore we are the only, we are the only
strain of H O C H B E R G that pronounces it that way in the United States, to the best of my
knowledge. All right. Well, I, you know, it's the perfect time of year to get to learn it because I now
in my head, I'm just thinking of it as ho ho Hochberg. There you go.
Aaron, Aaron, Garen, what is your, I'm going to get everybody's goddamn.
What's your, like, what's your official title on the show if you could say
it in front of in front of i think it's squatter isn't it i know yeah yeah legally they can't get
rid of me i've taken over so um you know there's a whole musical about it i refuse to pay rent
on this podcast uh i i say intern slash cast member okay i didn't want to say intern
because when someone's not an intern anymore that's insulting right i'm forever an intern
okay all right i'll tell you this we haven't hired a new intern
is hire the right word for intern i think don't don't you hire an intern? Or do you appoint them?
Select.
Take on.
Take on.
Take on an intern.
You guys, I'm so busy.
I'm taking on so many interns.
Well, especially with Garen, it's like when a boat is sinking, you're taking on interns.
We can't get that water out fast enough.
Garen, for people not familiar with Never Not Funny, will you please explain to Doug's listeners
how long you've been our intern?
Eight years?
Uh-huh.
So long that I thought it was nine?
Yeah.
I believe most internships are six months.
Yeah, they're usually a summer.
All right, just making sure.
How many credits have you gotten for this internship?
Oh, I've got a master's degree degree doug so let that fill you in and uh would you consider changing the pronunciation to coke roll just to fit in yes i would all right jimmy yes the question is
and i don't you know i don't want to be whiny about this but people tend to answer with like
the same five or six movies so I'm looking for sort of an out-of-the-box favorite Christmas
movie of yours that's not one of the obvious ones you know what my son just asked me this
very question he was like they were talking about it on some show and he said, dad, you have a favorite Christmas movie. And I don't know if I do necessarily.
I think I like, or dislike them all evenly.
We are going to go see elf tonight in the drive-in.
I do like that movie. And I know that's one of the five that you hear.
We just watched white Christmas the other night and that is average at best.
I don't know if I have a know if I have a favorite Christmas movie.
I think I just, again, like them or don't like them evenly.
Yeah, it's a tough genre, I feel, because there's nothing else except for scary movies
and Halloween, and maybe rom-coms around Valentine's day, but where,
where it's just a whole thing is just, you know,
jam down your throat for an entire month.
Like it's just, everybody feels the need to watch Christmas movies.
And that's why I want to try to find ones that are, you know, good,
just a good movie that you can,
you could satisfy the urge of people around you to have to watch Christmas
things. But, but with something good, I,
I've been enjoying pretty much yearly viewings of a movie called Anna and the
Apocalypse. Yes.
And which is a musical and a zombie movie and a Christmas movie.
So it's really checks a lot of boxes. If you're boxes if you're having to watch a movie with other people.
There's something for anybody.
By the way, I do like Christmas Vacation.
I don't know if it's my favorite, but I do like it.
Okay.
Yeah.
I apologize.
I don't have a definitive answer for you.
No.
That's why I said that before asking the question is it is, it is a tough one and I appreciate you going first.
Uh, my, my pleasure.
My pleasure.
Pat Belknap.
Yes.
And you better not fuck this up.
Uh, well, I, I was, I, you know, I think my first answer is the least original answer, which would probably be Elf.
But I liked Scrooged a lot as a kid because it came out right at the age where I was super into Bill Murray.
And it's probably not great and maybe doesn't hold up.
But I liked it a lot when I saw it.
And so that's a good one.
I have a new least favorite Christmas movie, which I saw for the first time the other night, which is, uh, the Santa Claus, which I had never seen. And that
is awful. It's just really bad. Uh, I don't know if any of you have seen that. I remember liking
it, but it does not hold up. I didn't, I liked it too at the time, but also have not ever felt
an urge to go back to it. Right. Me too. Yeah.
Probably better not to, um,
because yeah,
it's rough.
Uh,
David Krumholz is the,
as the elf.
Isn't he good?
He is.
He is in it.
Yeah,
he is.
That's right.
He is like the elves.
Um,
yeah,
he's fine.
He's,
he,
he eats a,
uh,
a PETA sandwich with sprouts in it that judge Reinhold was trying to enjoy at
one point.
Uh, so that's cool. But, it's just uh it's just a mess and and like weird it's just a more of a bummer actually because it's like about a divorced dad and and like he takes his kid to denny's for
on christmas eve because he doesn't know how to cook and then uh and then he because i didn't
understand the premise going in i thought the premise was like something fun like hey santa's out of commission so you have to do it
tonight but actually the premise is no he's now santa and that like that kind of made me sad it's
like oh so his whole life is over he has to be santa claus now although i guess he gets to go
back to his life it's it's very unclear the rules honestly but uh i i didn't like the implication
that the solution to hey you're a shitty parent so now you're just going to be santa claus and
not in your son's life at all anymore but uh maybe i misunderstood it maybe i don't know i just i
just remember that people just went wild over like him just you know looking in the mirror and getting
fatter and it was right at the beginning
of yeah remember uh when the michael jackson video black and white came out and it was like
morphing was like the hot thing it was it was right around then i think because it was like
very much like check out these effects which now look like something that your 12 year old
daughter would do on her cell phone and you'd be like yeah that's cute um but it looks real crummy by modern standards but but i could see people getting super
excited at the time because it was like new and and fresh well let me save you some trouble and
just say you can avoid santa claus two and three because they're not as good
yeah although they might they might contain some of the answers that i've been
looking for about how this all works and what's what's going to become of this man's life
uh you're really looking for answers i appreciate that oh here's another maybe one that people don't
mention as much though uh bad santa's fun that bad santa's really i don't know yeah that is yeah
yeah that's pretty uh pretty entertaining it's it's a little lopsided like
not all of it works uh you know and there's some kind of inconsistencies and uh i guess if he's a
drunk so that would explain it but billy bob's attitude kind of shifts strangely from time to
time uh-huh i have a sequel to that it's just a night it's just nightmarish because that little kid,
they found an actor who looks like that kid just all grown up.
Or actually, it's the same kid.
It is the kid.
Is that how they found him?
But he's got one of those baby faces where it looks like an effect,
but it really is an adult man that just looks like he did when he was a kid
in the first movie.
And it's a real bummer.
All right. So Elliot, what do you think?
So the first thing I thought of,
and I had to double check to make sure that my memory was right.
And it is a Christmas movie. I think it is, is 29th street.
29th street is a story of a fellow who wins the lottery and is mad about it.
What? I've never heard of that.
It's a great movie. It's
Anthony LaPaglia, Danny Aiello,
Lanny Kazan.
It's great. I remember it being great.
Oh, okay.
I do. I kind of
vaguely remember that now.
It's a nice story. It's got
some little twisties to it.
And I think it's well done.
Well, you got to have the twisties on there to keep it fresh.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm excited about that suggestion.
Do you happen to know where it's, is it streaming anywhere?
That is a great question.
It says it's available on Amazon.
I had to look it up because I always get the number of the street wrong when i try to reference it it's confusing because of miracle on 34th street exactly
do they have some other shit going on over on 29th time to deal with all this do you think
same time it's confusing it says dvd i don't i don't know if i don't know if it's streamable
all right well if amazon's got it you know you might have to pay a few bucks for it.
But that's how they that's how they play that game over on Amazon is you like get excited
that a movie's there and click on it and it costs money.
Right.
How dare they?
Yeah.
Hey, I don't know how loose the definition you're using is, but Trading Places is one
of my favorite movies.
Your turn is over.
I can't stop giving suggestions please answer me is trading places a christmas movie it's not i think it is because i
think anytime one of the main characters has a santa suit on and it's you know that time of year
as opposed to wearing one like because they're mentally ill. It's, it's the most, maybe the most disturbing Santa suit moment in film history is when Dan
Aykroyd steals some salmon from a,
from a fancy Christmas party and then is eating it through the fake beard of
his costume. And it's so gross. It's just insanely gross.
Yeah. It's, it's nasty.
And then of course a man gets raped by a gorilla later in that classy film
it's not exactly it's maybe a little problematic by modern standards like there's a little stuff
in there that there's that there's the f-bomb shows up a few times i think uh but those two
old guys uh i had forgotten this i saw uh coming to America again, and the two old guys from Trading Places
show up as their characters.
Isn't that great?
Oh.
In Coming to America.
The Trading Places universe.
That blew my mind at the time.
Yeah, because John Landis directed both.
And that was like one of those moments as a kid
where I was like, what?
You can do that?
Oh, this is so brilliant.
I love it.
And now it's like, yeah, he just did a winking joke.
No big deal.
Yeah, well, that's what people are saying now about this uh never not funny douglas movies crossover
wow you can do that the misfit toys universe yeah i don't know if you still care but i think
you can watch it on youtube 29th street oh okay as a paid thing. Let Garrett answer.
I mean, I will co-sign what everybody has said so far with the exception of 29th Street,
but I will say mine is a recent film I saw a couple years ago
that I now adore.
It's called Deadly Games.
Dial code Santa Claus.
Wait, that's the full title.
That's one of the titles.
It's gotta be a good movie,
but it's got a long subtitle.
It's code Santa Claus.
Yeah.
It's essentially home alone with a psycho Santa Claus.
Wow.
There's no Santa Claus in home alone.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's like a little kid and Santa's trying to get in.
Yeah, the Santa's coming for this kid.
He's Kevin McAllister.
He's got all sorts of gadgets
and stuff that he's using.
It's bizarre and it's great.
And I think it's Swedish
or French or something, but...
I remember you bringing this up
on Never Not Funny.
Yeah, I think you brought it up
last year, maybe around Christmas.
How many times would the wet bandits have died if those things were happening in real life that happen in Home Alone?
All of them?
Three?
I mean, the paint can to the head and then flying back off of the staircase.
You can't survive that.
Every staircase slip is basically a death sentence I think
because they crack their heads on the
ice it's crazy
it was cold too you're right
okay so
that I declare deadly games
the one I'm most excited about
from that batch of movies
but there's a lot of terrific stuff there and elf you just can't Deadly Games, the one I'm most excited about from that batch of movies. It's on Shudder.
There's a lot of terrific stuff there.
And Elf, you just can't go wrong with Elf.
I watched Elf again a few nights ago and was just kind of marveled at how it doesn't even
have like downtime in it.
It's always somebody engaging or interesting is on screen and something funny is happening
and it's an amazing cast.
And I just love that movie yeah yeah the
only thing i think i could ever find fault with is oh we ran out of time
i seriously want to know if any of you guys agree with this at all because it's it's like a perfect
movie but james conn in certain scenes i feel like he's in a different movie with his energy.
Like he's so low energy sometimes.
He's barely saying his lines.
I'm just like, what is your deal?
But then when he explodes at the end, it's like, oh, maybe it was all on purpose.
He was like building up to that great moment where he just yells at.
I was watching it the other night with the fresh perspective of his treatment in that elf, that mini documentary that's on Netflix right now, the movie, the Christmas movies that made us in that they said that now none of you, none of you guys have seen that.
I actually just watched it last night.
Oh, you did.
So what does James Kahn, what is he announced everybody on the set?
So what does James Caan, what has he announced to everybody on the set?
His first day on the set, he stands up and says, hello, everybody.
I'm James Caan.
I want you to refer to me as James the Dream.
That was the full statement.
Wow.
Yeah, James the Dream.
So I watched this movie with that perspective of knowing that, like, you know, he's tricky to work with and was probably not very comfortable. Because they also said in that doc what I believe to be true of, like, Will Ferrell really being extra annoying in his scenes with James Caan just to annoy James Caan, the actor, as much as the character he was playing.
It worked brilliantly on that level.
Yeah, yeah. So I was watching it for that.
And I, I gotta say the thing I was most surprised about with James Caan was
that when he does turn at the end and become like,
believe and become nice that first of all,
he does it when his son just wants him.
He doesn't do it because he sees the reindeer flying. Yeah.
You know what I mean? His belief comes quicker than that.
It comes when the son needs him, which I think is very sweet and less cynical.
But then when he does go full-blown, he's into it.
I think he does a really good job, which I think is kind of out of James Caan's comfort zone
because he's always playing a guy who's unpleasant.
Yeah, yeah.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
It's a fun,
uh,
James Kahn story for you.
If I can jump in here very quickly.
Um,
I,
uh,
when I lived in Pasadena,
California back in 1986 or 87,
uh,
my roommate,
we had,
I had three roommates and one of them went down to the pool and he's at the
pool.
And this is just an apartment complex in Pasadena where, you know, four of us split a $700 rent.
So it was not a very fancy apartment complex.
So my roommate goes down to the pool and he comes back up and he goes, hey, you got to come down to the pool.
I'm not going to the pool. He goes, you got to come down here.
You got to confirm who I think this person is.
Like, all right. So I went down there and I go down there and I look and I go, do you think that's James Kahn?
He goes, I thought it was James Kahn. I said, all right, i went down there and i go down there and i look and i go do you think that's james khan he goes i thought it was james khan i said all right let's go get another so one by one
we kept getting our roommates until we confirmed that it was james khan um james khan was sitting
at this just decent apartment complex in a speedo out by our pool
and we don't know why like why why there why wasn't whoever his friend was why weren't they at james khan's house why are they at this just this pool by this in this apartment it was very
strange anyway james khan went to swim in the same pool as me i wonder if he had a a friend
he was visiting a lady friend oh that's interesting secret rendezvous well i did i did hear from another room james you are a dream so that may mean
yeah all right well uh let's go ahead and take a quick commercial break and when we come back
we're gonna play the rest of the game we started on never not funny we'll be right back no flipping we're back and continue where we left off we are going to play to two points
jimmy has one elliot has one garen has one and matt thanks for coming out
you gotta catch up matt i know uh because like i said we're only playing to two points
so this could uh this could end up going very quick
uh i should have been more prepared on my end but if it goes quick then anybody has a james
khan story they can fill with i've already told my one yeah Yeah. That was a great one. It reminded me of one time,
an apartment building I lived at in Hollywood.
Ron Polillo was at the pool.
Oh, TV's Horshack.
Yeah, but it turned out he did, in fact,
live in the same building.
Oh, okay.
Maybe he was just over a lot.
I forget which one.
You know what?
Here's a, you know what?
Since you want somebody to fill,
when I lived in an apartment complex in North Hollywoodllywood california i uh i looked out the window one day and there
was a new guy who had a very fancy um bentley and i lived in an apartment complex today bentley
would be nowhere near uh bentley's a fancy car right am i saying it right yeah uh so there was
a fancy kind of a powder blue bentley and uh i was like who the hell
would who would live here if they could afford a bentley this seems insane and and he would also
have a he would walk from his apartment to the car smoking a pipe and i was like this this guy
what an interesting character this guy is and i got a closer look and i went jesus christ that's mc hammer and i was like i said to the
landlord i go does mc hammer did he move into they said no that that guy's name is uh stanley
burrell and i was like that's mc hammer so mc hammer apparently moved into this apartment
complex i'm guessing it was because he was going through the um uh all that tax stuff and
so maybe he had this as a cover or something but it was it was crazy like like why is there a benley
here and why why it was anyway that's that story i thought you were going to say he was just like
renovating his mansion and so he needed a place to stay for a few months that could very well
again i was just it was conjecture about the taxes. I have no idea
why Mr. Burrell was living at
the Weddington Gardens or whatever they were called.
Yeah.
North Hollywood seems like
even if... You have to be right because
even if he was just
doing well and
renovating a house, he would find a
place in Westwood, right? Or somewhere nice.
Of course you would.
Why are you coming to North Hollywood?
Why are you sharing a washing machine with me?
Or maybe like going back to the James Caan theory,
maybe he just had a lady friend there.
Oh, don't touch this.
That's how the song goes.
Don't touch this.
All right, I'm ready. The actual words are can't touch this but i got them wrong i get the point all right so matt gets to pick the first category
in the leonard malton game and then uh he makes the first bid then we'll go to elliot
then garen and then jaren, and then Jimmy.
And you get to pick between three categories.
Matt, would you like
Christmases on
the Cape?
I guess it could just be one Christmas.
Christmas on the Cape
or Feliz Navidad
or Christmas on the Cape or Felice Navidad or Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas.
That's my wife's favorite, the Emmett Otter.
I didn't have that channel when I was a kid, so I never saw it.
I'm going to go in honor of her.
I will go Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas.
Okay, great.
Leonard Maltin gave this movie from 1978 two stars.
Oh, I should tell you what the category is.
It's movies that have an otter in them.
That's my favorite animal.
So I'm feeling good about this. this okay 1978 uh two stars from leonard
um he says this movie uh um
spawned imitations and he also says that uh it became a TV series.
Oh, but he only gave it two stars.
Two stars.
And he lists 18 names.
And the category is movies that have an otter in them.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Now, listen, Doug, I just want to be clear.
Usually we do this in a live theater or something.
I am allowed to Google this, correct?
Boy, that's a lot.
That's a lot of names.
And I don't have an inkling at the moment.
So I'm going to say, I'll say 11 names.
Okay.
That's a solid number of names.
Perfectly good bid but uh then we go
to elliot do you want to challenge matt to name it and if he fails you win the game
or you want to get lower choices actually i think because 11 is a lot of names 11 is a lot of names
i here's my logic and maybe i'm
giving something away here but i think i could have all 18 names and i wouldn't know what film
this was you and me both yeah so so given that and i can't even by the way think of one film
with an otter in it um because because it's a gopher in Caddyshack. So that doesn't help anybody.
Um, and that's the only closest I can get.
So I, I think, I think strategically the right call is I challenge Matt to name that film.
Okay.
This will be interesting.
I don't, now that I, now that we're here, now that we've reached this moment, I don't think these 11 names are going to help me whatsoever.
And just so I, I remember these are the 11 starting at the bottom, correct?
So you won't get to the top seven stars.
Exactly.
Nope.
But also, when Leonard lists 18 names, he does feel like they're names worth mentioning.
Got you.
Yeah, it's not like every single person.
So my money's on Matt, but we'll see how it goes.
Oh, boy.
I mean, the worst case scenario, then we're all tied.
That's right.
That's a great case.
I love that.
Here's your 11 names.
Stop me when you know it.
Oh, you think it's going to be that easy?
I hope it is.
We'll see.
James Widows, Mark Metcalf, Kevin Bacon, James Doughton, Mary Louise Weller,
Martha Smith, Bruce McGill, Sarah Holcomb, Karen Allen, Donald Sutherland,
and Stephen First.
Animal House.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah, and Thomas Hulse plays Otter.
Yeah. Oh. Yeah, Thomas Hulse plays Otter. Yeah.
Nice.
I'm in it, baby.
I'm back in it.
Matt is back in it.
This next round is going to determine a winner.
Doug, out of curiosity, if it would have went down to,
if I said one, what's the first name?
That would have been James Widows.
Oh, wow.
The gentleman, the tall guy that plays Hoover.
Wow.
That would not have helped me.
Went on to be a director himself.
Ah.
I randomly just happened to watch my family and I watch the Goldbergs every night, the great TV show.
And the one I just watched was their animal house tribute episode.
So it's fresh in my mind.
And,
uh,
two of those guys,
although I can't remember who,
which two,
two of the cast members from the movie,
uh,
had cameos in it.
I can't remember which two either.
Yeah.
I'm blanking.
Read that list again,
Doug.
I'll tell you.
Tim Matheson. Tim Matheson?
Tim Matheson was one of them.
The other guy I didn't even recognize, so I don't know.
James Meadows?
Peter Riegert?
I don't know.
Peter Riegert and Tim Matheson are like the buddies that are always together.
Oh, that's very possible then, yeah.
And then, you know, John Belushi got
top billing because he was
quite popular at the time.
And there was a perfect amount of John Belushi
in that movie. Like, there's lots of scenes without him
and it's a nice mix.
Okay,
so that means that
let's go to Garen and then to Jimmy.
Garen starts us off by picking a category, the aforementioned Christmas on the Cape or Last Christmas or the other?
What was the other one I said?
Oh, Feliz Navidad.
I.
I'm going to go Christmas on the Cape.
Okay.
Christmas on the Cape is superhero movies.
Oh, nice.
2013 is the year one and a half stars from Leonard.
He calls this movie vulgar.
And he also says that it's commie comic book movie making at its worst.
Oh yeah.
And then he lists nine names.
13.
And he calls it. Darren Cockerell, how many names?
I'm going to say five names.
All right.
I'm next, Doug.
No, it goes to Elliot now.
It goes to me.
No, no. Elliot just. It goes to me. No, no, Elliot just...
It goes to Jimmy.
Yeah, it goes to the person who...
When there's three players,
that's when it gets really screwed up when there's four.
When there's three players, the order reverses,
and it starts with the person who didn't...
I see. My apologies.
No, it's okay. It's so confusing.
But it starts with the...
I've totally screwed this up
because I think i did the
order wrong at one point during the first part of the game on i was you know how excited you get to
be uh when you get to be on never not funny oh sure excited i get excited three times a week
doug i get it yeah yeah wait so doug just so i'm clear there's a chance i don't play this game at
all if somebody wins this it's a dream come true for you, Jimmy. Yeah.
Is it? I like to win or lose.
Yeah, it's
still fun either way. I like to tell everybody.
Yeah.
But yeah, there is a... Jimmy, how do you
think I felt last time? I basically got to
pick a category and then I got my ass
kicked. That's what happened last time we
played this.
It's just full of unfairness.
Well, at least you got to do that.
I'm literally just listening to you guys play.
Which I guess is the premise of the show, so I'm enjoying it.
But it could get to you.
It could get to you.
So, Garen, what do you think?
Garen said five, right?
Nine names.
I said five, yeah.
Okay, five names.
And then Elliot? I'm going to'm gonna go i'm gonna say four
i think i know what this is so it's getting closer to jimmy now
it's not quite at jimmy yet because we got mad in the way
uh elliot name that movie oh no that's coming in to try to get the win sure well jimmy watches
i'm gonna say jimmy next time you know because of coven everything you can just send a photograph
of yourself perfect i will do that just something we can one off the internet
doug that'll save me the time we'll just do a standee and we'll put it in the corner. That's Garen's job.
All right, so five names is the four names.
Thank you, Garen.
Four names, Elliot.
Yep.
Your four names are Lindsay Fonseca,
John Leguizamo, Johnny Legs,
Donald Faison, and Morris Chestnut.
I think I'm still right. I might be wrong.
And I hope that here's the only problem. I think I know what movie it is.
I may get the name wrong, but let's hope I got it right. Okay. Hitchcock.
What, how is Hitchcock a superhero? Oh, you're thinking of.
He's thinking of that.
The Will Smith one.
Yeah, that's not.
Now that you said Hitchcock, I can't think of the proper name.
It's close to that, though.
Hancock.
Hancock.
All right.
So it's either that or it's not.
I said Hitchcock, but there we go.
It's not Hancock, unfortunately.
All right.
Is it Hitchcock?
Unfortunately.
I mean, also because that means Matt.
So Matt Belknap wins?
And it's all my fault.
Let's point that out.
Here's the thing.
We shouldn't play it with four people, but, you know.
The movie.
Wait, wait, wait, Doug.
Hang on a second.
If I could be part of this in any way, shape, or form.
So let's
say Elliot said
four, right?
Matt, wait, how did it go?
I would have had to say three, and then you
would have gotten a chance to say
name it, and then I would have lost.
So I would have said name it at three,
and you would have lost? Yeah, I would not.
I still don't know what it is, and
he just named a bunch of actors I know, and I still don't know what it is. And he just named a bunch of actors I know
and I still don't know it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Nice going, Elliot.
Give us some more names though.
Maybe we, let's see.
Here's the thing actually, Jimmy.
I didn't have a choice.
I either challenged Garen.
I guess if I challenged Garen, I win
or I have to do a thing.
There's no other options, right?
Matt would have gone to three.
No, he challenged me.
Let me see what the fifth name would have done for Garen.
Would you have gotten it if you'd known the fifth name was Clark Duke?
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Not a time machine.
That's not a superhero movie.
I think now I might know it
it's not super is it
no
yeah I don't know
but vulgar that's the thing
because the other things I'm thinking about vulgar wouldn't fit
oh hell
ah I know what it is
what is it
it's uh oh it's not
uh
not hit girl but uh kick-ass right yeah yeah
yeah but the tricky part is this is this is kick-ass too
and you and you wouldn't give giving it to somebody if they said kick-ass no no no no way
leonard because the years would be wrong but also leonard really leonard liked
kick-ass and that's part of the negativity of this uh kick-ass 2 review is that he you know
he thought it went to you know went too much further than the first movie did yeah i mean
even jim carrey denounced the violence in the movie like the weekend it opened which you know
right there was a shooting i think something happened
yeah there was yeah yeah so he was just like it came out and said that he thought it was too
violent it was like well but you're in it and you you didn't have that problem while you were making
it yeah um you didn't know they were they were actually rolling film when they had all those
yeah i thought that was just for fun well guys, for coming in here and settling this matter.
And I'm going to say two names.
Kick ass to always be bidding.
Jimmy, anything else to plug besides or anything specific you want to say about Never Not Funny?
You know what I have?
besides or anything specific you want to say about never not funny.
You know what I have? My web series season two has started of Jimmy's records and tapes where I
talk about my five favorite.
For example,
this week is five favorite Christmas songs.
And then last week we did five favorite story songs.
So that is my web series,
Jimmy's records and tapes,
which you can find at youtube.com slash never not funny.
Thank you for being here.
Matt, what do you got to promote?
Well, I don't have anything to promote other than Never Not Funny.
So I'll just mention, speaking of story songs, that No Body, No Crime by Taylor Swift is a banger.
And everyone should go check that out.
Does it slap, Matt?
Does it slap?
It slaps hard.
It's a classic uh cheating murdering
crazy country song in the middle of a folk album basically so i'm loving it is that the one she
wrote with haim yeah yeah haim's on it and it's uh and haim's one of the characters the esty
one of the one of the haims is in it as a character it's crazy and we're sure it's not haim i will never know i will never know i i
always feel weird saying it either way makes me uncomfortable i feel like i'm being anti-semitic
with me and my track record has not been good yeah that's true especially with the the jewish
the jewish type names you're having trouble it could be haim for all you know i know lahayim
to that band um Elliot Hochberg now I'm just gonna say it with disgust every time
oh he's heard that listen listen Hochberg um what anything you'd like to promote sure I got
a couple things I could throw out there um if, if you want to do some silly pointless, um, uh, trivia game, I have three word trivia. That's
three, the number three word trivia on Twitter. I put out three words and you have to guess what
I'm, what I'm thinking of, uh, just by triangulating from those three words. And I will, I will respond
personally with correct or incorrect to you. Um, you can also go on Twitch. I am twitch.tv slash simple night one.
And a couple of times a week I stream games and,
and just I'm silly.
I love it.
I love,
I want to try this three words game.
I think,
I think I like it.
Yeah.
And Garen Cockrell.
You can find me on Twitter Instagram Twitch
my new screen name is
at James the Dream
no it's at my name is Garen
and then I've got a couple books on Amazon
go ahead and buy those if you like scary stories
well thank you to all the fellas from never not funny for being here
thank you doug and have a great rest of your uh holiday season and let's go 2021
let's do it yeah and matt's pulling double duty here so get ready with the theme song, Matt. Yep. As always.
Oh, I should do my plug. Rush ticks.com this Saturday.
I'm doing a show at four 20 Pacific time rush ticks.com.
Yeah.
As always.
God bless us.
Everyone.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold.
His viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies.