Doug Loves Movies - Joe DeRosa, Jackie Kashian and Dan Van Kirk guest

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

Live from The Come and Take It Festival in Houston, Doug welcomes Joe DeRosa, Jackie Kashian and Dan Van Kirk to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Prem...ium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, I'm Doug Bedsen from the podcast you're listening to right now. I don't know which one it is. And I'd like to tell you about Comedy Gives Back, the safety net for the entire comedy community. Stand-up comedians may work alone, but that doesn't mean they should feel alone. That's where Comedy Gives Back comes in and helps with mental health services, crisis support, chemical dependency treatment, and more. This is an important cause
Starting point is 00:00:27 to me because, as it turns out, I'm a stand-up comedian. Visit ComedyGivesBack.com or text LAUGH to 707070 to donate today and help give comedians more than applause. That's LAUGH to
Starting point is 00:00:43 707070. Good morning, Leonard! Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sippy sheets with 50 as a pop or kernel in his teeth. There's still not more that he won't see
Starting point is 00:01:00 because Doug loves who we need. Mostly because Doug loves movies. That was perfect. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies! This is Doug Loves Movies! Coming to you once again from the secret group in Houston, Texas! It is Sunday, November 20th, 2022, and we are a part of a very fun event.
Starting point is 00:01:51 It's written on all the walls. Let's hear it for the Come and Take It Festival! Come and Take It Festival! I'm surprised that all the furniture and stuff is still here because it's right there in the name of the festival. You're allowed to take anything you want as a keepsake. And I just want to say before we get started that the first day I got to town
Starting point is 00:02:19 was when that motion picture of the menu opened on Friday. So I went and saw The Menu, and I don't want to give anything away, but I just don't recommend you watch it on a full stomach. Or an empty stomach. Or if you ever want to eat again. No, it's not that bad.
Starting point is 00:02:44 It's a very enjoyable movie and I officially recommend it. Oh, the prize bag. Let me tell you about that before we get our guests out here. It's all in a bag that I got at a festival called the Flyover Fest
Starting point is 00:03:01 in St. Louis. And so the bag says on it st fucking louis yeah and if you want to see all this stuff what it looks like i posted a reel on my instagram of all of it but i'll just give you a quick update of what's in here there's like a pair of pants that you supposedly don't need underwear to wear them. They're like underwear-less pants, but they just seem like weird sweatpants to me. So that's why I don't want them. And then we got two of these. I'll just show you one.
Starting point is 00:03:32 It's cool little flip-flops that are Velcro. And yeah, very tough to open Velcro. And they got a little orange weed leaf on them because they were made by a company that makes rubber bongs, and I guess they just had a little rubber left over, and they're like, let's make some shoes. So thank you to Peacemaker for those. I got to go to the premiere of Glass Onion,
Starting point is 00:03:56 the new Knives Out mystery, and this is the program that they gave to all the attendees, and it's not half-assed either. I can't show you because cause it's so good. It's so perfect. And, oh, there's a stress ball, that's a football that says fantasy football on it. I guess that's a new show on Paramount Plus.
Starting point is 00:04:19 And there's a canister with some tea in it, and it says Ted Lasso on it. You'll just have to trust me on that. And then also some shitty, not shitty, but definitely not for me, some Mediterranean apricots. That's an alleged snack during the flight here. So just in case you enjoy that sort of thing.
Starting point is 00:04:44 So somebody's going to win all of that one person not necessarily somebody who brought a name tag but that definitely helps your chances today are you ready to meet our guests so am i they all seem super nice to me and I can't wait to get to know them. They're actually three of the best comedians here at this festival and in the world. All friends of mine. Give it up, everybody, for Joe DeRosa, Jackie Cation, and Dan Van Curf! Hey. Let's meet everybody individually and alphabetically.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Alphabetically by first name, because DVK doesn't get to go first very often when it's an alphabetical situation. But today, I just think of you as Dan. I'll take it. And that comes before those other two, those J names over there. It's Daniel Van Kirk, everybody! Hello! Hello! Van Kirk, everybody!
Starting point is 00:06:03 Hello! If you were walking a few blocks away from me, I'd be like, damn, it's cold out and that guy's not wearing a shirt. I am. It's very fleshy what you're wearing. Yeah? Yeah, I like it. I'll go fleshy.
Starting point is 00:06:19 I like it. Also, love the prize bag, but all pants you don't need underwear for. Well, yeah, if you're going to be gross about it. I'm not gross. This one's got a lining that your average jeans don't have. I don't know. Still, also, I haven't really investigated what's going on with those pants.
Starting point is 00:06:40 I just got sent a whole bunch of them, and I was like, well, I would never wear these. Sure. Because they are just sort of like leisure wear. They're like sweatpants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wouldn't wear them anyway. A little around the house. So I'm passing them along to you.
Starting point is 00:06:52 And these ones are extra, extra large. So let's say you don't want to wear them. There's plenty of fabric to do something interesting with. Go hit the Singer sewing machine and get to work. Turn it into something. Dan, you've got two podcasts now? Yes, ma'am. And one of them you did here?
Starting point is 00:07:14 Yes, I did. How did that go? It was really fun. Rory Scovel and I did our Pen Pals podcast. Jackie was on it. All received here. And Sean Patton joined us. That was Friday, which feels about six days ago at this point in the festival.
Starting point is 00:07:31 But yeah, it went really well. And then obviously, Dumb People Town with the Slaurs. You did that here too? No, no, no. I'm saying that's just the other one. Oh, that's the other one you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Yeah. All right. Well, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me, friend. Yeah, and let's say hello to your right also a podcaster. Also. The gatekeeper
Starting point is 00:07:55 of the dork forest. It's Jackie Cation, everybody! Yeah! A wrought iron gate. Dork, dork, dork, dork, dork. You have to answer three questions to go into the dork forest. Right.
Starting point is 00:08:09 What do you like? Are you a dork? Can you talk about it for an hour? And do you like $20? Everyone likes $20. Have you ever had a dork on that couldn't talk about their dorky thing for a full hour? Like they ran out of things to say about it? Yep.
Starting point is 00:08:31 A couple episodes that got lost. Oh, smart. I forgot to record them. So sorry. And it's weird because it is something that someone insists that they love-ity love-love. And then they flounder. They founder. They found something. They found a country.
Starting point is 00:08:50 No, they flounder. They flip-flop. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. I think a lot of people, like, if they tell you, oh, my favorite band is Sting's band, and then you start asking them about specific albums and they're already like, oh, no, I just like them. I'm not weird or anything.
Starting point is 00:09:06 This show is four seconds long. And yeah, whenever somebody says that their dark time is music, I literally want to eat a bullet. Because I'm like, you're going to have to, oh good, thank God, someone finally can talk about chamber music. And they're like, no, not that music.
Starting point is 00:09:20 And you're like, oh, is it ska? No. Wow, then you're going to have to pick something tiny and then tell me what it is. Jimmy Pardo, one of my favorite episodes, talked about the band Chicago.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Without notes, could name everyone that had ever been in the band Chicago. No, he's deep on Chicago. Oh, he is dipped. Yeah, he really, he works in their lyrics in Everyday Conversation.
Starting point is 00:09:49 I'm not kidding. Jimmy is quite the Chicago head. And thanks for being here. And also, thank you for that winter sweater. Oh, yeah. Anybody else go to Target? Pick yourselves up a winter is coming? It feels like it's
Starting point is 00:10:05 officially the beginning of the season because you wore that. Yeah, yeah. The rest of us are just wearing warmish summer clothes still. And also joining us, all the way from New York, a man who knows his way around
Starting point is 00:10:21 a sandwich. It's Joe DeRosa, everybody! Hi. Hi. How are you, buddy? I'm good. Good to be back on the show. Yeah, I'm very happy to have you.
Starting point is 00:10:36 I'm very happy to see you. Yeah. Yeah. This worked out great. Yeah. I haven't done one of these since the ones where you have like 30 people at Christmas. Oh, 12 guests at Christmas. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Yeah, not doing that this year. But you did announce on Twitter, you're like, hey, before this website shuts down. Yeah, I just wanted to let people know to hold the date December 18th if you're going to be in the L.A. area. Because I am doing the eight guests of Hanukkah. Really? Yeah, I'm going to have eight crazy guests. Some of which will be Jewish, so it's not
Starting point is 00:11:09 a total appropriation hour. All right. Will everyone be dressed in flame colors? Should be pretty fun. In what kind of colors? Like a light, like a flame. Because there's candles. I get it now.
Starting point is 00:11:25 It's what I know. You said you talked until I got it. I appreciate that. Okay, so thank you all three of you for being here. Oh, and the sandwich remark about Joe is that he has his own sandwich shop in New York. Yes. And I'm always excited to promote it. Thank you, man.
Starting point is 00:11:50 It's called Joey Rose's. It's a bar and sandwich shop, and it consumes me. I can't think about anything else all the time. Where is it? Rivington Street on the Lower East Side. What? In New York City, yeah. I'm coming.
Starting point is 00:12:04 It's a fun place. You can get drunk and eat for affordable prices. on the Lower East Side. What? In New York City, yeah. I'm coming. It's a fun place. You can get drunk and eat for affordable prices. And New York is just so accommodating when you open a business. They just make it so easy. It's really just a bit of stress-free ride. Have you had any meals that were exciting or different here in Houston? I had barbecue.
Starting point is 00:12:31 You know how that goes? Yeah. And I said to the guy at the counter, I go, listen, I'm on a little bit of a diet. So what are the healthier sides I could get? and as he lifts a spoon of greens that contain beef in them, goes, collard greens could be good. I'm like, no, do you have any sides that don't have meat, sir? I've got eight meats on my plate right now.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Then he threw three slices of white bread and half an onion up on the tray and told me that counted as a side. You know, folks, listen, I got a lot of barbecue bits. Come to my show tonight. It's a one-man show called Burn-Ins.
Starting point is 00:13:13 See Joe's holiday special. It's called Eight Crazy Meats. All on one crazy plate. Well, thanks for those food tips while I'm here in Houston. I appreciate it. There's a great Vietnamese restaurant down the block up here.
Starting point is 00:13:33 I went to that twice in the last four days. It's called Huynh or something like that. Huynh? Alright. It's still great. Maybe I'll check it out next time I'm in town. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Before we play the games, this is the part of the show where... What are you laughing at, Joe? It was just the least sincere thing I've ever heard you say. Wait, you've heard me say a lot of things. That was the least sincere? That've ever heard you say. Wait, you've heard me say a lot of things. That was the least sincere?
Starting point is 00:14:07 That is quite a bar. Jackie turned and goes, I don't know why I even mentioned that. I don't know why I needed to chime in. You should have heard what I didn't say about sandwiches. Jesus. It's good stuff. Good stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:24 You never know what Jackie's going to keep to herself and what she's going to spring on people. It is amazing what's going on up here. Alright, well, we'll start with you, Dan, for the recommendation portion of the show. Since it is November, and
Starting point is 00:14:43 we all like to sit down and eat and think about the slaughter of indigenous people and we always talk about what we're thankful for and mine is that we took over this country and no I don't
Starting point is 00:14:59 say that but what are you thankful for with regards to movies Dan could you name a movie what are you thankful for with regards to movies, Dan? Could you name a movie that you are thankful for? That you are glad it exists? You appreciate it in a way that
Starting point is 00:15:15 maybe you don't other films? I would probably have to go with my favorite movie of all time. I'm very thankful for the movie Stand By Me. Terrific example. Yeah. Throughout various points of my life,
Starting point is 00:15:34 I've identified with all four of those boys and their stories. And I think that there's just some great messages in that scene between River Phoenix and Will Wheaton. When he tells him bullshit, you can do things with your life. Yeah. It's like God gave something to you. I love it. I love it.
Starting point is 00:15:57 I love it. I loved it when he told him that he was going to be stuck in shop. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And it's just, I don't know. And obviously the end where it just talks about friendships and stuff like that. I absolutely adore that film.
Starting point is 00:16:10 So I'm very thankful for Stand By Me. Yeah. I earned it. Thank you. So much amazing tender dialogue in that movie. Like sick balls. Yeah. Which to me just sounds like
Starting point is 00:16:26 his balls are going to vomit. No. Chopper. But they used to say that to dogs. Sick them. Yeah. Sick them. Sick them, boy.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Do they still say that? I guess if you still have a guard attack dog on your property. Probably, right? I mean... I think an attack dog, I think as soon as you let go of them, they don't need the sickum part.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Yeah, that's more for you to feel like you had a role in that. Yeah, I'm the reason that junkyard dog just went to town on your junk dog. That old guy in that scene who says
Starting point is 00:17:02 chopper sick balls. Well, he says sickum, but what he heard was sick balls. He is one of the old guys in Return to Me that hangs out with Carol O'Connor, and I never knew that
Starting point is 00:17:13 until very recently. That's the same, the same actor plays both of those parts. All right. He's delightful in one and mean and terrifying in the other.
Starting point is 00:17:22 All the best character actors are. That's very true. Very true. I just saw an early Wilford Brimley performance and that guy hit the ground at 60. He played old guys from Jump.
Starting point is 00:17:35 How old do you think he is in the thing, Wilford Brimley? He's about 26 years old in that movie. I just looked it up during the Halloween season. Yeah, he's like, no joke, he's like 40. Jackie? Yeah, like in... I never saw it.
Starting point is 00:17:50 You never saw The Thing? Yeah, we're going to spend the entire episode on this. Well, that wouldn't have helped you to figure out his age, though, either, if you had seen it, because that's the premise. Right, Wilford Brimley does look like the kind of guy that looks like he was born looking about 62. Yeah. What do you think, Doug? Just for fun. How old do I think he was in which one?
Starting point is 00:18:06 John Carpenter's The Thing? Yes. What year did that movie come out? 81. 81. Yeah. So he was probably like, like Joe was saying, he's probably like 40 something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:14 He's 47 years old. Oh, okay. When that movie came out. And he looks like he's 68 years old. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like around that, you know, it must have been, I don't know when Cocoon came along, but that was a movie about a bunch of old people.
Starting point is 00:18:28 And he was one of them. And he wasn't that old. He's like 52 years old. And he's supposed to be like 78 years old. Yeah, just walk slower. Chew your oatmeal slower. And grow up with everyone smoking cigarettes around you your oatmeal slower. And grow up with everyone smoking cigarettes around you
Starting point is 00:18:46 your entire life, and you then also smoke those cigarettes. You'll age wonderfully. The Thursday Murder Club just got picked, like, bought option by Spielberg, and it's a series about people in their 70s and 80s who solve crimes in England, but he's going to book everyone in their 50s and 60s.
Starting point is 00:19:05 It's going to be the Wilford Brimley of today. It's going to get some work. They're going to be told to walk slower. Jackie, do you have a movie that you're thankful for? I can't follow that. I'm just going to...
Starting point is 00:19:22 I loved Wakanda Forever. Okay. Let's go current yeah I just saw it I was like 20-25 minutes into it and all I could think was I would like to watch this again and there was another two and a half hours to that movie and where are you at with the MCU in general do you find them wildly varying or do you generally enjoy them? I am predisposed to like all of them. And then, but I of course I mean, you know, there's what, something, 30 of them? So I have
Starting point is 00:19:53 sort of my top five and then now it's got to, it's because both Black Panther movies are in the top five, so I think I've got to go with the top ten. But I like, I'm controversial. I like the Ant-Mans. That's controversial? It's real
Starting point is 00:20:09 controversial, the Ant-Mans. Why? Well, because they're not... Everybody's like, Thor, Ragnarok, buddy movie, Hulk. And you're like, yeah. Anyway, what I like about Ant-Man is Ant-Man, the stakes are low. All that dude, he just wants to hang out with his daughter.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Like, he's not trying to save the world. He just wants to hang out with his daughter, man. Yeah, and they really figured out a way to get around him a lot of shit by making him, well, he's ant-sized, but super strong. Right. Right? So, like, it's never like, oh, no, he's going to get stepped on. Because if somebody steps on him, he just goes, hey.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Right. He's not Rick Moranis. Throws them, he's going to get stepped on. Because if somebody steps on him, he just goes, hey. Right. He's not Rick Moranis. Throws them, you know? That is the move. It's not the honey, I shrugged the kids tiny guy. It's like, hey, I'm the sexiest man alive. Eh. Solid Paul Rudd impression.
Starting point is 00:21:00 So wait, so your answer was Wakanda Forever. Yes. But you liked the Ant-Mans. Yeah, right. But Wakanda Forever, of course, was so, it was incredibly, it's just good filmmaking, you know, much like the first Black Panther. Because I like, my favorite MCUs are the ones about family, you know. Or the ones that aren't focused on one character so much, like the ones with groups, like the Guardians and things like that, tend to be more fun. Yeah, First Guardians was good.
Starting point is 00:21:29 I really liked it. But I liked First Avenger. I liked the first Captain America. Because it was him and Bucky and creating a family. Wait until you see Fast and the Furious if you like family. Yeah, those movies are all family. If you like family, oh fuck, you're gonna
Starting point is 00:21:47 lose it. Because here's the thing, in those movies, it's all about family. Wait a minute. They'll just drive a car off a cliff and jump out of it going, family! With a Corona.
Starting point is 00:22:05 That's all they're allowed to drink in Fast and the Furious. Fireball and Corona. That's all they're allowed to drink in Fast and the Furious. Fireball and Corona. All right, Joey Roses, what do you got for us? What's a movie you're thankful for? Well, you know, I want to say Barbarian.
Starting point is 00:22:19 It was just, what a just wild, batshit, awesome movie that hit theaters. You're thankful for that. Well, I want to say that. I think I'm truly thankful for, because I can't stop talking about it. I am of the opinion that most of the movies that are coming out post-pandemic have been god awful. There's been a quality drop.
Starting point is 00:22:46 And I went back and re-watched Three Amigos the other night. And I was like, I forgot. I forgot that comedies were really funny at one time in my life.
Starting point is 00:23:01 And that had this many jokes. The three of those guys in that movie are hitting, it's like Grand Slam top of their game comedy through the entire thing. He has been talking about this for two days. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:16 I'm solicited, yeah. And it's so well structured. I call my friend and I go, I never thought I'd see the day when I said Three Amigos is better structured than most dramas that are coming out right now. We took it for granted, people. Because that movie got
Starting point is 00:23:32 poorly reviewed when it came out. They were like, ah, enough already. Yeah, Chevy Chase, great. Everybody was like, whatever. We took it for granted. It's a great, great, great movie. It's so funny. Great musical number, too. It was a great, great, great movie. It's so funny. Great musical number, too.
Starting point is 00:23:47 It was a great musical number. I laughed out loud hysterically for an hour and a half in my apartment alone, and I was like, I haven't done this in a long time. Yeah, that sounds like a mental break. That's part of it. That three men in matching cowboy outfits on a very horrible-looking back lot set
Starting point is 00:24:05 that never feels real for a goddamn second. But that's the joke. That's part of the joke. That's the joke. That's part of... Wait, do you hate Three Amigos? I don't love it like, say, you do. My little buttercup has the sweetest...
Starting point is 00:24:22 Smile, smile. Oh, at the end. Look. It's more fun to hear you guys do it. No, I love... Don't get me wrong. I love those... I love two of those guys unconditionally, you know.
Starting point is 00:24:34 Right. And one of them was a hero of mine as a child, Chevy, and then just kind of proceeded... Got more and more to a point where, like, looking at him is aggravating now. Right. You know, so it's kind of weird to go back to go back. I don't really go back to his movies as much as I did. I love foul play as a kid. I love scenes like
Starting point is 00:24:51 old times. I didn't love Oh Heavenly Dog. No. Where Benji dies and gets reincarnated as Chevy Chase. Yeah. No, I'm not a big fan. That one's not so good. But anyway. Fletch, of course. But Three Amigos is interesting to me. It's interesting that you enjoy it so much to me because it is like, when you were saying so many great lines, I was thinking about how it's kind of
Starting point is 00:25:14 a series of set pieces. They just sort of do a thing for a little bit, and then move on to the next thing. And I'd watch it again just off of that. I've never seen it. For your enthusiasm for it. Yeah, it's perfectly structured. Like, it's perfectly structured. They hit the dilemma. They do the setup in the first scene.
Starting point is 00:25:31 They hit the dilemma like 12 minutes in on the nose. The tension. You enjoyed it so much you were looking at your watch? What happened? I wasn't timing it. I'm a swimmer. I have a good internal clock. I was swimming while I watched.
Starting point is 00:25:48 He had a better sense of time than a lot of comics. Anyway. You just said that Three Amigos has tension in it. It does. Like, I don't remember that. El Guapo. It does. I don't remember ever feeling like their lives were genuinely in danger
Starting point is 00:26:01 or that we would see something violent happen. When they scare off El Guapo's men the first time and they're like, we did it. We're great. And then El Guapo comes himself and when Steve Martin gets shot and then he realizes this is real. It's a tense moment, but it's funny.
Starting point is 00:26:17 It's still funny. I want to see it on ice. When I see it, I want it to be Disney on ice. When I see it, I want it to be Disney on ice. I would also like to mention that Sweet Home Alabama was on in my room last night, just by chance. And that is a movie from 2002
Starting point is 00:26:35 that makes you believe in that movie, people in Alabama were still referring to northerners as damn Yankees in 2002. There's a scene where she goes, did you call the sheriff on me? And the sheriff comes in and goes,
Starting point is 00:26:51 whoo, hells bells. I was like, this is why the country's divided, everybody. You brought a baby to a bar? So you want me to change your answer? No, three of you. Sweet home Alabama. You can pick either, it's up to you or Barbarian
Starting point is 00:27:09 the bad shit horror movie you can pick one of the three no your answer is you had such a heartfelt emotional response with the three amigos thing it stands it stands as your official answer Conan the Barbarian
Starting point is 00:27:24 Conan just Barbarian? Huh? Conan? Conan? No, just Barbarian. Yeah, it's about a woman who does something no woman would ever do in their life. What? There is no world in which a woman goes, I'll go in here. I'll go in here.
Starting point is 00:27:41 There is women who have been divorced and found the man of their dreams and would not do what this woman does for a guy. That's bullshit. That is not bullshit. That's bullshit. They justify why she has to go into the house.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Not really. Not really. I would hang out with Conan the Barbarian. Listen, folks. Don't listen to Dan Van Jerk over here. It's a good movie. Just sleep in your car. She can't.
Starting point is 00:28:14 It's a horrible neighborhood. Get out of that dumb neighborhood. Just get out. She should have taken George Peel's advice and got out. No, Dan's right. We should shit all over a movie one of our friends made. No, I did not. I do not think that.
Starting point is 00:28:28 I just said no woman would do it. I enjoyed it. I loved seeing Kurt in it. You sound like you enjoyed it. I did, but no one would. You have to suspend a big hurdle. Doug loves movies on Justin Long starring in the picture. I know.
Starting point is 00:28:44 I suspend my disbelief all the time. Did I tell you about Wakanda forever? I love all the MCU. I love all of it. I'm good at suspending my disbelief, but I don't enjoy tension. So, I would probably not. What's missing from Wakanda?
Starting point is 00:29:00 Oh, then you're going to hate Three Amigos. Yeah. What's missing from... You're going to hate Three Amigos. What Wakanda Forever really needs is a character named El Guapo. That would really bring it all together, I think. Then everyone can enjoy it. But those are terrific recommendations.
Starting point is 00:29:24 I'll definitely see Wakanda forever because I haven't seen it yet, and maybe watch these other two again. It's like, Joe, you have an excellent point about when we're on the road as comedians, you turn on the TV, sometimes there's one HBO or one Showtime or sometimes there's five or six,
Starting point is 00:29:40 but there's never anything you really want to watch on all the channels, so you end up just watching something that's like Sweet Home Alabama, where you're like, this is engaging enough because it doesn't make any sense. Right. So I can hang with this until the commercials. It came on because I put the channel on because Four Christmases was on. And I was like, this is soothing enough to be on in the room right now.
Starting point is 00:30:03 That's it. Jon Favreau. And who's the guy that plays the other brother? Vince Vaughn? No, the non-actor guy. The guy doesn't act much. I know who you mean. He's a football player or something.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Yeah. Or a country singer, actually, I think. But anyway, so fucking funny in Four Christmases. Yeah. That scene where they're trying to play one of those taboo or one of those guessing games is a fucking hilarious scene. Favreau making out with his wife at the table and they're
Starting point is 00:30:31 getting almost into rough sex at the table in front of the family is truly magical. What is that guy's name? The guy from Sling Blade. Isn't it the guy from Sling Blade? Oh, Dwight Yoakam? Isn't it Dwight Yoakam? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Nope, it's not Dwight Yoakam. That's what I was saying. It's not Dwight Yoakam. It's one of those guys. I wish we were in Texas because someone would probably know. It's not Trace Adkins? No. Is it Trace Adkins? Is it? No. Hey, real quick. Don't ask them. Don't tell us.
Starting point is 00:31:04 Thanks. I opened it and then I closed it Once it's open It's so hard to close Alright, so Thanks again for your recommendations And we're going to take a quick break And then we're going to come back and play some games We'll be right back
Starting point is 00:31:19 Yay We're back! All right, so this is who we're playing for today. We worked it out during the break through a series of arm wrestling matches. And Dan is playing for probably the best name tag in the room, Les Miserables.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Good job, Rob. Oh, you know what? Actually, this name tag's better. Jackie's playing for Portia in Pink. I'm not good at this, so good luck. Okay. Yeah. And then Joe picked our friend Will,
Starting point is 00:32:12 who has been known over the years to come to the Houston shows and bring a sheet and have all the guests on the show sign it. And I thought that was your name tag the sheet it doesn't have a pun on it like that piece of paper you wrote will oh have all three of these guests sign the sheet already yeah oh but you get people to sign it another time and then date it. So there must be like over 100 signatures
Starting point is 00:32:45 on that fucking sheet. Show everybody. This thing's ridiculous. Wow, they look like pants that you don't need underwear for. I think, yeah. The sheet. Chris Hardwick had to draw a big version of his logo on there. What a nerdist.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Okay. So yeah, so Joe's going to play for Will O. And his sheet. And welcome back. That'll be good. Honorable mention to Walt, who I didn't pick, but I still feel bad about, but it was worth the joke,
Starting point is 00:33:22 and I have a disease. Nice, Walt. Shout out to Walt the Lion and Herbie Goes Bananas. I mean, add Goes Bananas to any serious-sounding movie, and it creates a great new title. Chinatown. That's the name of Indiana Jones 5. Goes Bananas. Chinatown. That's the name of Indiana Jones 5. Goes Bananas. Goes Bananas.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Indiana Jones and the Goes Bananas. Alright. I enjoyed that one more than anyone else. This first game we're going to play today is called Live Die Repeat. Yeah! Some people probably cheered for it, they don't even know what it is. But it's a very fun game where I am going to say the title of a motion picture, and the first person up here on stage with me who repeats back that title correctly wins the game.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Wow. Let's do it. Yeah. I got a chance. Seems simple. And it also is simple. But it's fun for me to play, because the guests are always quite, they always look at me like how Joe's looking for me to play because the guests are always quite
Starting point is 00:34:46 they always look at me like how Joe's looking at me right now Go ahead, what's your question? Ask it This really is the game This is the game I'll give you an example, True Grit True Grit But we have to wait until you give you an example. True Grit. True Grit. True Grit. See, damn. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:05 But we have to wait until you finish saying it, right? No. Oh, okay. No. So, like, if he just said True Grit, right between True and Grit, I would have said,
Starting point is 00:35:13 that is correct. You did it. All right. But he didn't. He didn't. He didn't. He came in after. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:18 But if you interrupt me with an answer, I'll tell you if it's right or wrong or not, and then I'll start back at the beginning of the title. Got it. All right. Here we go. me with an answer. I'll tell you if it's right or wrong or not, and then I'll start back at the beginning of the title. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Planes, trains, and automobiles. Now, you know I love a good pre-guess. But also, other than the movie Planes I can't think of any movie other than Planes Trains to Long Beach that begins with the word
Starting point is 00:35:49 Planes so yeah so that probably won't probably won't be what I'm about to say but thematically you thought it might be
Starting point is 00:35:58 thematic yeah and I'd bust out a classic Thanksgiving movie but slow your roll where it's okay
Starting point is 00:36:04 it's only... Oh, wait. Yeah, Thanksgiving's Thursday. So it is coming up, so that might be what's going on here. I don't know what's going on. I'm just going to read it. Harry. Harry.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Harry and the Sorcerer's Stone. Harry and the Hendersons. Harry Potter. Harry Potter and the Game of... The Goblet of Fire. The Goblet of Fire and the Half-Blood Prince. Harry Potter and the... Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!
Starting point is 00:36:40 That is correct! Yay! Well done, Joe. Thank you. I feel alive. Just between us, I'm going through all the Harry Potters. I've done two shows of the first two movies.
Starting point is 00:36:58 That was the third one. I'm just going to do each one. Because, you know, somebody has to say it faster than somebody else. It's still a challenge. Okay. You know? Yeah. You know, know, somebody has to say it faster than somebody else. It's still a challenge. You know, but if you knew coming into it that that's what I was doing, you really could have won.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Okay. All right. So, congratulations, Joe DeRosa. You won our first game. Nice. Do you recall from previous appearances on the show what you won? No, I do not. It's been a while.
Starting point is 00:37:27 You get to go first in the next game. Oh, that's great. Isn't it an advantage to go first? It is an advantage. May or may not be. I don't know. We don't know yet. I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:37:37 We have to find out together. All right. If only Jacob Seraf were here to tell you how to do it. No? Nothing? I got nothing. Oh, I thought that was like a running gag on the show, isn't it? Maybe you should have gone with Sam Levine. Oh.
Starting point is 00:37:53 No, I just meant I've been on the show many times where Jacob Seariff has combated you in front of the audience about what the roles are. No, I have lots of combatives. Oh, okay. It's kind of a thing comedians do. Okay. They sit down and start giving me shit about how dumb
Starting point is 00:38:09 these games are. And it's mostly because they're bad at them. Okay. The ones that are good at them like it. Right, Dan? Wait. Was that a shot? No. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Hold on. I'm reeling from my Searoff bomb. That bombed like Searoff said it. Listen. The Xanter? Should we cut that part out? No. He'll text me. Yes, cut it out.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Okay. This next game we're going to play, I'm so excited because it's a twist on an old favorite. And now it's called Bane or Rain. Yay! Okay. I'm going to say a quote in my impression of Bane from Dark Knight Rises.
Starting point is 00:39:09 You have to tell me if that quote is something Bane said or something that the character Rain said who is the bad guy in Passenger 57 with Wesley Snipes
Starting point is 00:39:25 or or neither. It could be something that's in they don't say in either movie. Okay. I swear to God I thought you were going to say or if Dustin Hoffman said it in Rain Man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:40 I thought that's what you were going to say and I was like this is going to be the easiest game of all time. But you really threw this is going to be really hard I've never seen Passenger 57 who played Bane in the Batman movie Tom Hardy and I got it because
Starting point is 00:39:58 you know James Adomian does it in Harley James Adomian plays Bane in the cartoon. Oh, right on. Yeah, yeah. Love James. All right, so Jackie's just going to be here for any extra trivia. Yeah, yeah, I got other James Adomian trivia.
Starting point is 00:40:14 All the James Adomian trivia. If anyone needs that, there you go. But Joe is going to be, I'm going to do the line for you, and you're going to tell me Bane, Rain, or neither. If you miss, then Jackie gets a shot. If she misses, Dan gets the gimme point. And it goes around like that. Whoever gets it right, the next person gets to go first in the next round. All right. Ready, Joe?
Starting point is 00:40:40 Yes. All right. Put that down. Okay. Is this Bane, Rain, or Neither? It seems I may
Starting point is 00:40:56 have underestimated you. Very good, Doug. It seems I may have underestimated you. It really does throw you because the voice makes you immediately think it was said in Batman, but it's because of the voice.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Also, unless the line starts with, Hey, Wesley Snipes. I'm not going to know if it was from Baskerville. I'm going to just say it was from Baskerville. I'm going to just say it was Bane said it. Bane said it in the Batman movie. You're going to say Bane said,
Starting point is 00:41:32 It seems I may have underestimated you. Yes. Incorrect. Jackie, is it rain or neither? I think it's rain. I think.
Starting point is 00:41:52 You are correct. It was rain. Yes. Because sometimes in thrillers, people get underestimated. That's why I picked that. Everybody knows. that's why I picked that so everybody knows I'm mad at myself because I know Bane
Starting point is 00:42:07 as a character would never give Batman that much credit right and I'm mad at myself think it through here's the next one here's the next one
Starting point is 00:42:15 it could happen it is the kind of word he would use though right he likes words that are more syllables than necessary I could also see Bane
Starting point is 00:42:22 saying that to like Two-Face what's that like to another villain a non-Batman yeah might not have been to Batman Joe more syllables than necessary. I could also see Bane saying that to Two-Face. What's that? To another villain. A non-Batman. Might not have been to Batman, Joe. He might have said it to a bartender. Maybe he said it
Starting point is 00:42:34 to a postal worker. We don't know. Right. His ex-wife. Two-Face isn't in the movie, though. It's true. Bane's ex-wife, though. She is. Bane's ex-wife? Yeah is Bane's ex-wife? Yeah, she would have slept in the car She what?
Starting point is 00:42:50 No, I'm just referencing I'm riffing, Joe DeRosa I'm riffing Are we all familiar? It's my best chance of winning I take this too seriously You are competitive Good for you Jackie's on the board
Starting point is 00:43:07 With one point Yes Dan gets to start us off On this next one Okay Dan is it Bane Rain Or neither
Starting point is 00:43:19 Okay Who said Okay Bet on red And you'll soon be dead Who said? Bet on red and you'll soon be dead. Bet on red. Yep. And you'll soon be dead.
Starting point is 00:43:38 It is rain. That is incorrect. Wow. It is. Such a famous line in Passenger 57 that has to do with that. Joe? I know for a fact it's neither. It's a fact?
Starting point is 00:43:54 It's a fact. You said you'd never even seen Passenger 57. But I would have guessed it based on the trailer, always bet on black, and it wasn't that. Right. So, see, I'm playing smart now. I know Bane didn't say it. That is correct.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Good job. Me either. Well done. Yeah, I just imagine the conversation, like where, because Wesley Snipes says to him, they talk to each other a lot over like a walkie-talkie or something, and he says, always bet on black. And likes telling the villain, hey, I'm going to fuck you up. And I thought it'd be funny if the villain said, bet on red and you'll be dead.
Starting point is 00:44:30 I just thought that was a funny reaction and response. And it tricked Dan, so that's the main thing. That's the main thing here. Wesley Snipes had another trailer at the same time that had a great line in it that was up there with Always Been on Black, where his boss goes, we gotta do this one by the book. And Wesley Snipes goes, well then I'm gonna put him in a box
Starting point is 00:44:52 by the book. Like he's gonna set a book next to the box that he's in? There was a button on the trailer. He was gonna kill the guy by the book. And you don't remember what movie it was? That's not in any book. It was Avenue It was Avenue whatever the president won. Oh 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Yeah yeah yeah. That's the one where in the trailer
Starting point is 00:45:11 when they find out that you know somebody's died there they say that's an address that changes all the rules. It's such a terrible line. Like, wait, what? The rules are different with murder if it happens at the White House. And then time has gone on and it's proven to be true, I guess. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Very. All right, so Jackie has won. Joe has won. And Dan is always a great guest on the show. Get on the board, Dan. Get on the board. Always nice to have you. But since Joe got that last one,
Starting point is 00:45:54 Jackie gets to go first on this next one. If she gets this one right, she wins Bane or Reign. Now, this one is a back and forth a little bit. I'm going to say one line is like just a regular guy, and then I'm going to say the response that's either made up so it's neither, or it's bane, or it's rain. Jackie, it goes like this so what's your plan commandeering this plane with no
Starting point is 00:46:32 survivors so turns out that's his plan wow wow Wow. Wow. Wow. Weirdly, I kind of want to guess rain. That's what you want to guess? That's what I want to guess. Let me double check this real quick.
Starting point is 00:47:00 That's incorrect. I am wrong. I could have won this game. You still may. You really could have. That was really a great moment right there. Dan? I'll go Bane.
Starting point is 00:47:13 You're going to say Bane said commandeering this plane with no survivors? Yeah, he says it to Littlefinger. He says it to who? Well, that's my guess. It's my fault. I opened the door earlier. Oh, boy. I tried to shut it. Once that door's open. I know.
Starting point is 00:47:30 I kind of like to leave it open, you know, because we have a seat for Elijah. But, uh... Big guess of Hanukkah. What'd you guess? I guessed Bane. Bane is correct! We've got a three-way tie! There is hope.
Starting point is 00:47:46 Who's Littlefinger? It'll be bad. Who is what? Or you. Yeah, I don't... Who's Littlefinger? Who is Littlefinger? That's the guy.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Garcetti. Who? From The Wire. Oh, The Wire guy. Yeah, who's also Littlefinger. The actor from The Wire. He's like the guy in the plane at the beginning that's yelling at Bane. Yeah, he tells him.
Starting point is 00:48:03 He's yelling at Bane on the plane. Did you know that Bane on the plane speaks mainly? Bane is like insane. It's interesting that you're threatening to throw me off a plane, but you're also going to shoot me. It's a weird scene.
Starting point is 00:48:20 Isn't that the one where he says, it will be bad. If you take off the mask, will it be painful? He goes, it will be bad? Yeah. If you take off the mask, will it be painful? He goes, it will be painful for you. Such a good line. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:32 But the sound mix wasn't great, so people didn't even know what he was saying in that scene. And they never follow through with that. There's all that set up in that whole opening sequence. Why does he wear the mask? It's like a James Bond movie.
Starting point is 00:48:43 It's just an opening stunt, and then they move on. But they bring up the mask like multiple's like a James Bond movie. It's just an opening stunt and then they move on. But they bring up the mask like multiple times and then they never tell you. You know what movie would not have done that? Never tell you why
Starting point is 00:48:50 he wears the mask? I don't think they ever... It was because he was born in the shadows. You know what movie would not have done that? Three Amigos. Yes, that's true.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Very well structured film. They never explain why they wear the hats. Because it's always funny. All right, Josie. It did work out for you that you get to go first or that you went first because now it's back to you
Starting point is 00:49:17 and this is the tiebreaker. So if you get this one, you win the game. Great. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Wait till you hear what you win if you win the game. Great. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Wait till you hear what you win if you win this game.
Starting point is 00:49:30 All right. All right. This one does less acting. I just have the one sentence to say. It's either Bane or Rain or neither. It's the American way
Starting point is 00:49:45 isn't it brother I'm just gonna say it's the American way isn't it brother fuck Bane might say that on Wall Street! For the listener at home, Joe is rocking back and forth
Starting point is 00:50:12 like the little kid in the movie Looper after he makes it rain inside. Bane, rain or neither? I've never felt closer to you. I'm going to say rain. I'm going to say rain. We haven't felt close to Rain I'm going to say Rain I'm going to say Rain We haven't had a Rain I'm going to say Rain Alright
Starting point is 00:50:29 You're saying it's like Rain On a summer's day It's a free ride You go Rain That is correct You did it That's it
Starting point is 00:50:43 Hey Alright Here we go Here we go That is correct. You did it! That's it! Hey! Here we go. Here we go. Now it's a game. Welcome out of the shadows, brother. Because like, Bane is not above calling somebody brother. And then the bad guy in this other one
Starting point is 00:50:59 said it, so I was like, that's too good. But you figured it out. And there is the big Wall Street sequence. And I was like, that's too good. But you figured it out. And there is the big Wall Street sequence. And I was like, I think he says this when he's stealing the money, but he doesn't. Who plays Rain, by the way? Who plays what? Who plays Rain?
Starting point is 00:51:15 An actor that we never heard from again. And this is crazy. His last name is Payne. Really? Yeah, so it could have been Rayner Bain or Payne. Do you know what his agent said? Nuh-uh. No Payne.
Starting point is 00:51:32 No Gayne? Yeah. That's what he tells every... To try to get him into every movie. Yeah, to try to get him into every single movie. You gotta hire him. No Payne, no Gayne. Every movie.
Starting point is 00:51:40 And they're like, we've heard it, dude. Yeah, that guy didn't... He was the villain in that movie and then didn't. Okay. Just sort of disappeared. Kind of like what happened to Alan Rickman after Die Hard. Wait, what? Very similar character.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Anyway, let's do another break. And when we come back, Joe is going to go first in our final game that's going to determine who wins the Fuck St. Louis bag. Apologies. The whole bag. Apologies. St. Apologies. The whole bag? Apologies. St. fucking Louis. The whole bag? Did not mean to say that about St. Louis.
Starting point is 00:52:10 I love it there. I had to look at the bag and go, whoa. I love their fucking bags. Yeah. And I don't, it's the flyover festival, but I do not fly over. I go right in there. We'll be right back!
Starting point is 00:52:24 Yay! We're back! Only that guy doesn't have his phone out. What's happening, Jackie? This entire row had their phones out, and I was like, why doesn't that guy have his phone out? Oh, there it is. Oh, never mind. Okay.
Starting point is 00:52:44 They're just working something out right in front of our faces. We're not in a commercial break anymore either. Oh, wow. Okay. You okay? You're hungry? Oh, then you should probably just go. Because now I have to sit here and do 25
Starting point is 00:53:01 more minutes of show knowing that you would rather be eating. Story of my life, to be fair, Doug. Story of my life, to be fair, Doug. Story of my life, to be fair. People are always on their way to a meal when they come see you? No, I am. I'm constantly going,
Starting point is 00:53:14 man, I could really eat something right now. I see, I see. Okay, fair enough. All right. So, Joe emerged victorious in that last game. He did, he did. Yes. So that means, Joe, you're going to go first
Starting point is 00:53:31 in our last game. And I'm begging you to stop talking to each other about where you're going to eat and just fucking leave. Oh, you're good? Because I could see you. See, that guy just talked into your ear about what I'm saying to you right now. What did you say, sir?
Starting point is 00:53:53 You're going to get roasted. I don't have time to roast anybody. We've got a fun game to play. We're almost done. I've got only one more warning, and then I'm going to probably give a third warning. All right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Here's how this game works. It's called Super IMDB. Woo! Oh, yeah. Here's how this game works. We're going to start with Joe I'm going to name an actor or actress And then you're going to guess The title of a movie
Starting point is 00:54:36 You think might be On their IMDB page As one of their best known for Movies Okay I love this game DB page as one of their best known for movies. I love this game. I do. I'm excited about it. If you get one of the titles in the top four, you get
Starting point is 00:54:54 a point. Then we move to Dan and he gets to guess. Obviously the title you said will be off the table. Guess a different movie. If it's in there you get a point. And then Jackie, same thing to you. Play multiple rounds so different people will go first
Starting point is 00:55:11 so Joe doesn't always get to go first. Okay. And again, it's just the folks on stage guessing here. And the winner of this? Because it's going to come into a lot of your heads and you're going to want to say it out loud and this is for the fuck you St. Louis bag?
Starting point is 00:55:29 this is it right? this is the game that will determine who gets St. fucking Louis remember that game where it was like all those IMDB names you had to pick a number remember that?
Starting point is 00:55:45 Where you'd say the movie or you'd say the name of the actor and then it would be like how many people were in that movie, like where they were in the list. Oh, the Leonard Moulton game. Was that that game? Well, that's a different game you're describing. Right, right. It was a different game.
Starting point is 00:56:00 I'm glad it's not that game. I was really bad at that game. Oh, because that one was too hard for you? That one's too hard. Oh, okay. It's a nice game. This should be a little easier. It seems nicer.
Starting point is 00:56:10 We'll see how it goes. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay. Air Bud. I'm sorry. I'm just excited to... Too soon.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Too soon. Okay. I'm just excited to win. Yeah, when in doubt, just yell out Air Bud. You never know. You never know when I might go, yes. It was Air Bud. But it's not your turn yet, Jackie.
Starting point is 00:56:30 You're going third on this one. We're switching the order around. Joe, tell me what you think might be in the top four of the films. And I'll even give you a little extra piece of information about the person in case anybody gets confused about who they are he was a robot on the Westworld TV show on HBO
Starting point is 00:56:52 Ed Harris yes so give me a film that you think would be the algorithm or that he or his agent bought IMD Pro and decided themselves.
Starting point is 00:57:08 You don't know which way it's going to go. Yeah. The top four meaning most looked at on IMDb. Basically. Or like I said, he could have arranged his own top four. I'm going to say The Truman Show.
Starting point is 00:57:24 That's your answer. I'm looking at say The Truman Show. That's your answer. I'm looking at the four titles, and it's the first one they mention. Oh, my God. Holy smokes. Well done, Joe. Wow. Are you a ringer?
Starting point is 00:57:39 Well, any movie where the actor wears a little beanie hat through the whole thing, they took it real serious. You know, Tom Hanks Philadelphia, The Truman Show. That's it. That's all the examples. That's it. That's the two of them. There's probably another one out there somewhere.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Okay, now we move on to Dan Van Kirk. He's eliminated one of the many films that Ed Harris has been in. Yep. What do you think is in his top four in addition to The Truman Show? There's three more to me that are extremely strong contenders. I will go with...
Starting point is 00:58:16 Could I have one? Don't want to help Jackie. She wants Dan's leftovers. Can I just have either one of the... I'll go... I'll go with The Rock. That's an actor. I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:58:38 Is it? Oh, yeah. That's a performer. He's actually gotten so much better. I've always liked him, but yeah, you're right. I just re-watched San Andreas, and I was like, oh, this was early on. It was?
Starting point is 00:58:56 I have a multi-thousand dollar bet that in the next 15 years, The Rock will be nominated for a performance Oscar. Someone even started to clap and went, oh no, wait. I didn't think you were going to say that. I think that he will. I thought after nominated it would be like
Starting point is 00:59:16 People's Choice Award. Not an acting Oscar, or maybe a producing Oscar. Performance. What? What? What could he possibly do? I feel like there's going to be a thing.
Starting point is 00:59:30 He's just going to be in a full-blown drama? 15 years, I think there's going to be a... I hope we're around in 15 years. Remake of Blindside. To have a... Or The Wrestler. That's what I'm saying. The Rock is Schindler.
Starting point is 00:59:51 You don't think he'd be great in the blind side playing Sandra Bullock's part? He'd be so fucking good. He would have been good in that role. But he would get a nomination. Let's not take away roles from women for The Rock. Let's take away that role from everyone Dan, bad news The Rock did not make his top four
Starting point is 01:00:15 Which makes me feel like he picked it himself I'm shocked Because that clearly is one of the most popular movies he's been in And it's not in there So, Jackie Clearly, it's one of the most popular movies he's been in. I can't remember. And it's not in there. What were the other ones? So, Jackie. Uh-huh. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:28 There's three more Ed Harris movies. Ed Harris. I like Ed Harris. He's good. In my dreams. How about that? Come on. No.
Starting point is 01:00:38 Has he got that listed? No. I'm sure. Here's the problem. I can't... Here's the problem. I can't remember the name of it. Didn't he play Hockney? Okay, don't ask questions because you'll get answers.
Starting point is 01:00:55 It's Hockney. It's not called that. Do you want to say Hockey the movie? Hockney. Oh, Hockney. I see what you're doing. I know exactly what's happening here. I'm losing. Oh, Hockney. I see what you're doing. I know exactly what's happening here. Yeah, I'm losing.
Starting point is 01:01:07 That's what's happening. I'm going to have to call time in a second because everyone's going crazy wanting to yell at you what the actual answer is that you're looking for. So obvious. Yeah. It is to me now. It's so obvious. Alright, Jackie, we're going to have to me now. It's so obvious.
Starting point is 01:01:27 All right, Jackie, we're going to have to move on. But you were so close. Because he didn't play the painter David Hockney. He played Pollock in the movie of the same name. Different artist. Entirely. He played a fish? Wait, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Yeah, that's it. You all three guessed, right? Oh, okay. For some reason I thought we kept going. Yeah, that's it. You all three guessed, right? Oh, okay. For some reason, I thought we kept going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we all say another one then that I should have said? No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Hang on a sec. Okay. Jackson. Because I'm confirming that Pollock was in there. If you'd have known, it was called Pollock. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:59 That was the other one. He's the artist that splattered everything. He's the artist that splattered everything. He's the guy that came up with that. He monetized it. Apparently he also had some trouble in his domestic life. So the movie's more about that than about him throwing paint at the thing. But we don't really have time to do this every time,
Starting point is 01:02:22 but you have another guess you'd like to do that's worth no points? Yeah. Okay, what is it? I'm pretty sure, based on where we're at, you have Apollo 13 in that top four. Apollo 13 is on there. He wasn't in Silverado, right? He wasn't in that, no.
Starting point is 01:02:37 But then it was a Western, though. God, you're so close with these noises and sounds that you're making, because he directed and starred in a movie called Appaloosa. That's it? Yeah. And that's why I think it's in his top four, because he picked. Because nobody's sitting around going, oh, Appaloosa.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Oh, wait. Apollo 13. I was thinking of Armageddon. I'm like, why would he put Armageddon in? Hey, Doug, could you start a podcast called Doug Loves Books? I think you ask me that every time you're on. Appaloosa 13 would be an interesting movie.
Starting point is 01:03:12 All right. So, at the end of that round, we ended up with only one point for Joe. Joe. You did it, Joe. Willow. We'll start with Dan on this next one. Willow, you're winning the wand.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Dan. Yes, friend. He... He followed the science on CSI New York. Okay. Gary Sinise. The films of Gary Sinise yep I'll give you
Starting point is 01:03:50 Jackie just whispered I'm so fucked that is good podcasting I should have said that into the microphone you're not fucked if you're into like listening to everything everybody says and figuring out what might be happening here instead of just giving up.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Dan, answer the question. Okay. I will go with Forrest Gump. It's the number one movie. Yeah! All right, Jackie. He's serious because I did this for you.
Starting point is 01:04:31 Right? Yes. You know. Yeah. They know. Right. I want to say the shaggy DA. Gary Sinise did that?
Starting point is 01:04:45 A lot of people don't know. He just auditioned. They went with RDJ on that one. Nothing? Hannah and Her Sisters. I got nothing. The last Woody Allen movie I saw. That's a great guess.
Starting point is 01:05:02 But no. No. Not a chance. Joe, tell her what she's not saying. Tell me what I've won. Hold on. Nope. Don't yell anything.
Starting point is 01:05:09 As Doug said, you'll be tempted to. I literally cannot think of one other Gary Sinise movie besides Forrest Gump. I'm going to take a wild guess. I did this for you. And say he was in Con Air. Incorrect. You know what he was in Con Air. Incorrect. You know what he was in? Apollo 13.
Starting point is 01:05:32 Oh my god. This is why I said I did that for you. And then for you. Oh, that's why Doug said listen to the... I didn I understand. I didn't understand.
Starting point is 01:05:49 At one point, he literally said in the last round, Houston, we have a problem. All I remember about Paul Dutton is Tom Hanks being like, we're stuck up here. That was scary good. He used to do that in movies. He would do that all the time. Yeah, Joe's always doing his physical impressions when he comes on my podcast.
Starting point is 01:06:16 You really got to see this show in person. All right, so the other two in Gary Sinise's top four, number two was Of Mice and Men. And then number four was Ransom. What's the Gary Sinise movie where in the trailer they go, he's a cyborg with a bomb in his chest? My friend used to yell that at us when we got high all the time. He made a movie where he was a cyborg. That's good to have like a signal when you know your friend is high. He's yelling that weird shit. That's also my safe word during sex. I yell out he's a cyborg with a bomb in his chest. Barry Manilow's safe word is apricot. Did you know that?
Starting point is 01:07:03 I did not. Barry Manilow's safe word is apricot. Did you know that? I did not. Barry Manilow's safe word, apricot. Somebody's going to win some Mediterranean apricots today. Yeah, they're in the bag. Yeah. Okay, so this next round, Jackie gets to go first. You got this, Jackie. I got this. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:19 All right. He was big into bigamy on HBO's Big Love the late great Bill Paxton Independence Day? Holy shit Jesus Jackie Holy shit. Jesus, Jackie. Doug, I think we need to take another break.
Starting point is 01:08:06 Holy shit. Jackie, do you know what movies are? No. I have that face thing where I don't know what anybody looks like. Okay. I think I'm going to throw up. I think you did throw up. Joe DeRosa.
Starting point is 01:08:22 Just a little bit. It's Joe DeRosa's turn, everybody. Has anyone ever been this bad? Hey, we got to wrap did throw up. Joe DeRosa. Just a little bit. It's Joe DeRosa's turn, everybody. Has anyone ever been this bad? Hey, we gotta wrap this thing up. People wanna go eat. All right, all right. Just this row. I'm gonna say,
Starting point is 01:08:33 I'm gonna say aliens. Number one slot in his top four, aliens. That is correct. All right. And this arrogant son of a bitch. No, not that it wasn't. Did you see that thing he did? Yes. Where he was like, who fucking, oh yeah, Aliens.
Starting point is 01:08:55 I just want you to just say it. I just want you to say it. Number one. I know, but I want you to just say it. Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on. We gotta keep playing. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's all right.
Starting point is 01:09:02 We gotta fucking eat. Sorry. All right, it's'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's all right. We've got to fucking eat. Sorry. All right, it's your turn, Dan. Okay. Obviously, Twister. Yes! Number four. You did it.
Starting point is 01:09:18 So there's two more titles on here for Bill Paxton. And I just want to ask if either of you have a second guess just for fun. I would say I would give a shot at Trespass
Starting point is 01:09:30 starring him and Bill. What? What's so funny about that? Is this real? It's really real, Dan. All right. So you got to go first to this text round, Joe.
Starting point is 01:09:44 Okay. What's so funny about trust me? Are you gonna tell him? Wait, so who got that last one? He did. Wait, you got one, and we both did. Joe got one. I haven't gotten any. Shocking. No one.
Starting point is 01:09:59 Oh, and Joe got a point for aliens. Okay, so you each got a point in that round. I am so sorry, Portia. Joe gets to go first. I'm so glad that you got another beer. Okay.
Starting point is 01:10:12 Yeah. Joe gets to go first in this one. Okay. You ready, Joe? Yep. Okay. So you think. He had a buddy. He had a buddy.
Starting point is 01:10:27 He had a buddy with bosoms on Bosom Buddies. It's the films of Tom Hanks. I thought you were going to say the other guy for a second, and I was going to be like, fuck you. Peter Scolari. Peter Scolari. I knew that one. God damn, I knew that one.
Starting point is 01:10:44 I don't think Peter Scolari shares as much in common with the other people in this game, but go ahead. Tom Hanks, I will go with Forrest Gump. I mean, it seems to be the go-to answer for you whenever you get the chance. And I feel like it comes up a lot in your life. Rain Man and Forrest Gump. But yes, that is correct.
Starting point is 01:11:07 Forrest Gump is in Tom Hanks' top four. He won Oscar for it, of course. And now we go to Dan. I have to I have to I have to let it play out I'm I'm gonna go with I'll go with Philadelphia
Starting point is 01:11:37 Not in the top four It's fine Whoa Yeah he won the Oscar For that too Back to back Oscars For that and Forrest Gump But Philly's not in It's fine. Whoa! Yeah, he won the Oscar for that, too. Back-to-back Oscars for that and Forrest Gump, but Philly's not in. It's fine, because it's all about what happens next.
Starting point is 01:11:52 Right, he didn't want to pick, like... Cocktail. I'm going to pick the gimme, which is what he's done here, which is big. Yes. You're going with big? gimme, which is what he's done here, which is big. Yes. You're going with big? Is that your answer, big?
Starting point is 01:12:10 Oh. Use the amplification end of your microphone. Joe versus the volcano. Are you sure you don't want to go with big? Like, just to get a point on the board. Big. Okay, yes. Big is in his tough board.
Starting point is 01:12:22 Like just to get a point on the board. Big. Okay, yes. Big is in his top four. This is one of the most emotionally traumatic. I have to go to trauma therapy. Yeah. Except for that I don't believe in trauma therapy. I mean, you just never know.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Bigger things are happening. You never know which way these things are going to go and how people are going to play this game. But Dan, if you had to guess another one that would be in Tom Hanks' top four, what would you guess? Probably Apollo 13. And you know what?
Starting point is 01:12:56 I probably would have done that for Bill Paxson, too, if we're just shooting this shit. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I didn't even think of it. No, that was clear. Yeah. Both of you didn't think of it four times.
Starting point is 01:13:15 Now, do you understand my reaction to you not saying it? Hey, but Dan. You did that to aliens. Check this out. Oh, whoa. Everybody look this way and listen to me talk for a minute. Sit down. Sit down and shut up.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just let me fucking finish this bit. Yeah. Apollo 13 is not in his top four. It was a trap, and you were too dumb to fall for the trap. No, I was too smart to fall for the trap. No, you weren't.
Starting point is 01:13:42 I admit to being too dumb to fall for the trap. No, you weren't. I admit to being too dumb to fall for the trap. Hey. What's the trap? I don't understand. It's not in here. Apollo 13 is in every one except the one where Dan thought
Starting point is 01:13:57 it was gonna be. Oh. Dan was really smart. He could have fallen for that trap. Oh, big time. Everybody fell for a piece of something.
Starting point is 01:14:05 And that's why I love riding this shit. Okay. Now I get it. So who got points in that last round? Jackie got one. Ha ha! And Joe got one for the Forrest Gump thing.
Starting point is 01:14:20 And Dan... Castaway is number one. Love Castaway. And it's funny, you look up Wilson's IMDb page and it's not even mentioned. And then number four was Saving Private Ryan.
Starting point is 01:14:35 Oh yeah. I would have guessed Sleepless in Seattle. Joe versus the Vault. So we have a tie currently between Joe and Dan. Oh, thank God. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 01:14:52 But he didn't get a point in that one and I did. Didn't that put me ahead? More than one person can get a point during each round because all you got to do is name one of the top four. No, I know. But he's already gotten two. But I think he has three. I have three. Wait, where? The very first
Starting point is 01:15:08 one. The first round he got one. Truman Show. Yeah, then he got one for Aliens. Aliens. And he didn't get one this round though. No, I did. I got Forrest Gump this round. Always Forrest Gump. That's right. Okay, so you have three. Dan has two.
Starting point is 01:15:24 Sounds like I won. Joda Rosa's our winner! Oh! I love it! But just for laughs. Because I was hoping there'd be a tie. Okay. Do I have to give up my Blockbuster card?
Starting point is 01:15:50 I think you should have already. But just for fun, the films of Kevin Bacon. Tremors. We'll let Dan go first. Ask yourself, if I had a tiebreaker, after the Tom Hanks thing, where Apollo 13 didn't make his top four,
Starting point is 01:16:13 what's happening with Kevin Bacon's top four? Are you going to go Apollo 13? Or are you going to take a chance and name one of his other films? Right. I think that... Oh, fuck. Which way do you think this is going to go? I think I would go
Starting point is 01:16:29 Apollo 13. Yeah. It's not in his top four. I know it is. If you say Stir of Echoes is in his top four... For a bonus point you don't need, Joe. Footloose. Footloose is number one. Number one. Quicksilver didn't make it.
Starting point is 01:16:45 Will's going to win the Fuck Me in St. Number one. Quicksilver didn't make it. Quicksilver didn't make it. Will's going to win the fuck me in St. Louis bag. He starts out with the fun footloose is number one. And the remaining three movies could not be more depressing and disturbing. The Woodsman, Mystic River,
Starting point is 01:17:01 and Hollow Man. Oh, jeez. How is Hollow Man in his top four? That movie's fucked up. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. Oh, I'm a man and I'm invisible.
Starting point is 01:17:12 I've got some interesting ideas what I'm going to do with this. Will some... You know what I want to happen so bad? I want an internet nerd to do one of those things where it's like Footloose and The Woodsman take place in the same universe. You know when they do that with movies
Starting point is 01:17:28 with the same actor? I would like that. You're talking about the Footwood universe. It's very popular. And you won the prizes for Will! Who kind of deserves him more than anybody because he's been to 13 tapings. Always brings his sheet with all the autographs on it
Starting point is 01:17:49 and always finds an interesting place to sit. All right, Joe, you start us off. You do your plugs first. What do you got to promote? Joey Rose's Sandwich Shop and Bar in New York City. Yeah. Please come by. We're open seven days a week.
Starting point is 01:18:13 Go to joerosesnyc.com for details on that. If you want to see me live, jodorosainfo.com for my show dates and tickets. And then I have two podcasts, Taste Buds with Sal Volcano on YouTube and the No Press Channel. And then we'll see you in hell Buds with Sal Volcano on YouTube and the No Press channel. And then we'll see you in hell with me and Patty Walsh talking about movies.
Starting point is 01:18:30 And you can get that on Patreon. So check those out, please. Thank you. I love it when you post those clips with Sal where you're like just fucking yelling at each other about mustard or whatever the fuck. It's so entertaining.
Starting point is 01:18:45 I appreciate being able to scroll through those and have a laugh. Thank you, man. I love you. Thanks for having me. This was really fun today. Good to see you. Jackie Cation. Doug Benson, can I first say that I appreciate that you believe in me
Starting point is 01:19:01 at least once a year. I do, every time. This is going to be the one time this is going to be the one this is going to be the time she's seen all of these weird movies and know who these people are and I don't did you come all the way to Houston to tell them that Apollo 13 is a weird movie
Starting point is 01:19:16 can I tell you I don't go for that artsy shit can I tell you that I haven't seen I don artsy shit, all right? Can I tell you that I haven't seen, I don't think I've seen any of the movies that were mentioned this evening. There's no way. You've never seen Forrest Gump? I've never seen Forrest Gump.
Starting point is 01:19:33 Oh, my goodness. And by the way, I've never seen it on purpose. What an amazing life you're leading. Yeah, you know what? I feel healed because of it, because he's a piece of shit in that movie. Anyway. Forrest Gump's a piece of shit?
Starting point is 01:19:46 In that movie, it is a celebration of stupidity that I don't want any part of. It is genuinely a celebration of... Yeah. I feel like he means well, though. It's essentially... It's the idiot's version of Zellig, another movie I've never seen.
Starting point is 01:20:04 Anyway... What would you like to plug, Jackie? You know what I'm doing, another movie I've never seen. Anyway. What would you like to plug, Jackie? You know what I'm doing, guys? I'm canceling myself. See me play stadiums all over the country. Cancel culture isn't real. No. I'll be doing Fenway next week. No, anyway, so, yeah, I have two podcasts.
Starting point is 01:20:20 I have The Dork Forest, where we talk about things we love. Sadly, they are not random movies. Sometimes they're movies, but I know. And then I'm just continue digging this hole. And the other one is called The Jackie and Laurie Show, and it's Kilmartin and I talking about stand-up comedy. And then JackieCation.com is where my tour dates are. You could also go to FamilyPetAncestry.com,
Starting point is 01:20:43 which points you to Jackieycation.com, because that's funny. Familypetancestry.com. Did your cat come over on the main flower? Is your dog eligible to join the Dogs of the American Revolution? Familypetancestry.com. I'm done now. Thank you, Jackie.
Starting point is 01:21:03 Jackie Cation, everybody. Radical ideas. You could go on a vacation. You can go on a staycation. But I prefer Jackie Cation. Dan Van Kirk? Yes. Go to danielvankirk.com for all my dates.
Starting point is 01:21:21 I will be doing stand-up February 4th, the final weekend of the 20th SF Sketch Fest. And then the next night, the Sklars and I are going to be doing a live Dumb People Town, closing out that festival on February 5th. And everything else, podcasts, and I don't know if you just want to say hi.
Starting point is 01:21:36 Everything's at DanielVanKirk.com. Yeah, say hi. Find out when Dan's hosting a bingo game. Sure. Participate in that. Yeah. It's very interactive following Dan Van hosting a bingo game. Sure. Participate in that. Yeah. It's very interactive following Dan Van Kirk. Thanks, buddy.
Starting point is 01:21:49 It's not like Joe DeRosa where you have to go all the way to his sandwich shop to get any kind of interaction. I do sell cookies, so you can do that too. That's what I'm saying. You've got your hands in so many things. Yeah, I love it. All right. I love it.
Starting point is 01:22:07 I want to thank the Come and Take It Festival. I want to thank Houston, Texas. I want to thank everybody that came today. Thank you. It's a beautiful day. It's cold as fuck out there. You should be out enjoying it. You should be rolling around
Starting point is 01:22:24 and there's an ice skating rink over there where it's like just not cold enough for an ice skating rink. So everyone's skating around on a puddle. And it's adorable. And one more time for all of my guests, Joe DeRocha, Jackie Cation, and Daniel Van Kirk.
Starting point is 01:22:44 And I, you know, I don't know how many years I've done this, I always have to remind my guests to not leave the stage because it's very distracting. I only have one more sentence to say. No, you can go, you can go. No, go ahead, okay, Jackie's gonna hang out. He's gonna hang out. As always, we'd all be some kind of family.
Starting point is 01:23:19 Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him foggy. There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies

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