Doug Loves Movies - Joe DeRosa, Jackie Kashian and Dan Van Kirk guest
Episode Date: November 21, 2022Live from The Come and Take It Festival in Houston, Doug welcomes Joe DeRosa, Jackie Kashian and Dan Van Kirk to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Prem...ium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everybody, I'm Doug Bedsen from the podcast you're listening to right now.
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Good morning, Leonard!
Doug hates candy wrappers,
skinny babies,
sippy sheets with 50
as a pop or kernel in his teeth.
There's still not more
that he won't see
because Doug loves
who we need. Mostly because Doug loves movies.
That was perfect.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Coming to you once again from the secret group in Houston, Texas! It is Sunday, November 20th, 2022,
and we are a part of a very fun event.
It's written on all the walls.
Let's hear it for the Come and Take It Festival!
Come and Take It Festival!
I'm surprised that all the furniture and stuff is still here
because it's right there in the name of the festival.
You're allowed to take anything you want as a keepsake.
And I just want to say before we get started
that the first day I got to town
was when that motion picture of the menu opened on Friday.
So I went and saw The Menu,
and I don't want to give anything away,
but I just don't recommend you watch it
on a full stomach.
Or an empty stomach.
Or if you ever want to eat again.
No, it's not that bad.
It's a very
enjoyable movie and
I officially recommend
it. Oh, the prize bag.
Let me tell you about that before we get
our guests out here.
It's all in a bag that I got at a
festival called the Flyover Fest
in St. Louis.
And so the bag says on it st fucking louis yeah
and if you want to see all this stuff what it looks like i posted a reel on my instagram of
all of it but i'll just give you a quick update of what's in here there's like a pair of pants
that you supposedly don't need underwear to wear them. They're like underwear-less pants, but they just seem like weird sweatpants to me.
So that's why I don't want them.
And then we got two of these.
I'll just show you one.
It's cool little flip-flops that are Velcro.
And yeah, very tough to open Velcro.
And they got a little orange weed leaf on them
because they were made by a company that makes rubber bongs,
and I guess they just had a little rubber left over,
and they're like, let's make some shoes.
So thank you to Peacemaker for those.
I got to go to the premiere of Glass Onion,
the new Knives Out mystery,
and this is the program that they gave to all the attendees,
and it's not half-assed either.
I can't show you because cause it's so good.
It's so perfect.
And, oh, there's a stress ball,
that's a football that says fantasy football on it.
I guess that's a new show on Paramount Plus.
And there's a canister with some tea in it,
and it says Ted Lasso on it.
You'll just have to trust me on that.
And then also some shitty, not shitty,
but definitely not for me,
some Mediterranean apricots.
That's an alleged snack during the flight here.
So just in case you enjoy that sort of thing.
So somebody's going to win all of that one person
not necessarily somebody who brought a name tag but that definitely
helps your chances today are you ready to meet our guests
so am i they all seem super nice to me and I can't wait to get to know them.
They're actually three of the best comedians here at this festival and in the world.
All friends of mine.
Give it up, everybody, for Joe DeRosa, Jackie Cation, and Dan Van Curf! Hey.
Let's meet everybody individually and alphabetically.
Alphabetically by first name,
because DVK doesn't get to go first very often when it's an alphabetical situation.
But today, I just think of you as Dan.
I'll take it.
And that comes before those other two, those J names over there.
It's Daniel Van Kirk, everybody!
Hello! Hello!
Van Kirk, everybody!
Hello!
If you were walking a few blocks away from me,
I'd be like, damn, it's cold out and that guy's not wearing a shirt.
I am.
It's very fleshy what you're wearing.
Yeah?
Yeah, I like it.
I'll go fleshy.
I like it.
Also, love the prize bag,
but all pants you don't need underwear for.
Well, yeah, if you're going to be gross about it.
I'm not gross.
This one's got a lining that your average jeans don't have.
I don't know.
Still, also, I haven't really investigated what's going on with those pants.
I just got sent a whole bunch of them, and I was like, well, I would never wear these.
Sure.
Because they are just sort of like leisure wear.
They're like sweatpants.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I wouldn't wear them anyway.
A little around the house.
So I'm passing them along to you.
And these ones are extra, extra large.
So let's say you don't want to wear them.
There's plenty of fabric to do something interesting with.
Go hit the Singer sewing machine and get to work.
Turn it into something.
Dan, you've got two podcasts now?
Yes, ma'am.
And one of them you did here?
Yes, I did.
How did that go?
It was really fun.
Rory Scovel and I did our Pen Pals podcast.
Jackie was on it.
All received here.
And Sean Patton joined us.
That was Friday, which feels about six days ago at this point in the festival.
But yeah, it went really well.
And then obviously, Dumb People Town with the Slaurs.
You did that here too?
No, no, no.
I'm saying that's just the other one.
Oh, that's the other one you do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me,
friend. Yeah, and let's say hello
to your right
also
a podcaster.
Also. The gatekeeper
of the dork forest. It's Jackie
Cation, everybody!
Yeah!
A wrought iron
gate.
Dork, dork, dork, dork, dork.
You have to answer three questions to go into the dork forest.
Right.
What do you like?
Are you a dork?
Can you talk about it for an hour?
And do you like $20?
Everyone likes $20.
Have you ever had a dork on that couldn't talk about their dorky thing for a full hour?
Like they ran out of things to say about it?
Yep.
A couple episodes that got lost.
Oh, smart.
I forgot to record them.
So sorry.
And it's weird because it is something that someone insists that they love-ity love-love.
And then they flounder.
They founder. They found
something. They found a country.
No, they flounder. They flip-flop.
They don't know what the fuck they're doing.
I think a lot of people, like, if they
tell you, oh, my favorite band is
Sting's band, and then you start
asking them about specific albums and they're already
like, oh, no, I just like them.
I'm not weird or anything.
This show is four seconds long.
And yeah, whenever somebody says
that their dark time is music,
I literally want to eat a bullet.
Because I'm like, you're going to have to,
oh good, thank God, someone finally can talk
about chamber music.
And they're like, no, not that music.
And you're like, oh, is it ska?
No.
Wow, then you're going to have to
pick something tiny
and then tell me what it is.
Jimmy Pardo,
one of my favorite episodes,
talked about the band Chicago.
Without notes,
could name everyone
that had ever been
in the band Chicago.
No, he's deep on Chicago.
Oh, he is dipped.
Yeah, he really,
he works in their lyrics in Everyday Conversation.
I'm not kidding.
Jimmy is quite the Chicago head.
And thanks for being here.
And also, thank you for that winter sweater.
Oh, yeah.
Anybody else go to Target?
Pick yourselves up a winter is coming?
It feels like it's
officially the beginning of the season
because you wore that. Yeah, yeah.
The rest of us are just wearing warmish summer
clothes still.
And also joining
us, all the way from
New York, a man
who knows his way around
a sandwich.
It's Joe DeRosa, everybody!
Hi.
Hi.
How are you, buddy?
I'm good.
Good to be back on the show.
Yeah, I'm very happy to have you.
I'm very happy to see you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This worked out great.
Yeah.
I haven't done one of these since the ones where you have like 30 people at Christmas.
Oh, 12 guests at Christmas.
Yes.
Yeah, not doing that this year.
But you did announce on Twitter, you're like, hey, before this website shuts down.
Yeah, I just wanted to let people know to hold the date December 18th if you're going to be in the L.A. area.
Because I am doing the eight guests of Hanukkah.
Really?
Yeah, I'm going to have eight crazy guests.
Some of which
will be Jewish, so it's not
a total appropriation hour.
All right.
Will everyone be dressed in flame colors?
Should be pretty fun.
In what kind of colors?
Like a light, like a flame.
Because there's candles.
I get it now.
It's what I know.
You said you talked until I got it.
I appreciate that.
Okay, so thank you all three of you for being here.
Oh, and the sandwich remark about Joe is that he has his own sandwich shop in New York.
Yes.
And I'm always excited to promote it.
Thank you, man.
It's called Joey Rose's.
It's a bar and sandwich shop, and it consumes me.
I can't think about anything else all the time.
Where is it?
Rivington Street on the Lower East Side.
What?
In New York City, yeah.
I'm coming.
It's a fun place.
You can get drunk and eat for affordable prices. on the Lower East Side. What? In New York City, yeah. I'm coming. It's a fun place.
You can get drunk and eat for affordable prices.
And New York is just so accommodating when you open a business.
They just make it so easy.
It's really just a bit of stress-free ride.
Have you had any meals that were exciting or different here in Houston?
I had barbecue.
You know how that goes?
Yeah.
And I said to the guy at the counter, I go, listen, I'm on a little bit of a diet.
So what are the healthier sides I could get? and as he lifts a spoon of greens that contain beef in them,
goes, collard greens could be good.
I'm like, no, do you have any sides
that don't have meat, sir?
I've got eight meats on my plate right now.
Then he threw three slices of white bread
and half an onion up on the tray
and told me that counted as a side.
You know, folks, listen,
I got a lot of barbecue bits.
Come to my show tonight.
It's a one-man show called
Burn-Ins.
See Joe's
holiday special. It's called
Eight Crazy Meats.
All on one crazy plate.
Well, thanks for those food tips
while I'm here in Houston.
I appreciate it.
There's a great Vietnamese restaurant down the block up here.
I went to
that twice
in the last four days. It's called
Huynh or something like that.
Huynh? Alright.
It's still great.
Maybe I'll check it out next time I'm in town.
Yes.
Before we play the games,
this is the
part of the show where...
What are you laughing at, Joe?
It was just the least
sincere thing I've ever heard you say.
Wait, you've heard me say a lot
of things. That was the least sincere? That've ever heard you say. Wait, you've heard me say a lot of things. That was the least sincere?
That is
quite a bar. Jackie turned
and goes, I don't know why I even mentioned
that.
I don't know why I needed to chime in.
You should have heard what I didn't say about
sandwiches. Jesus.
It's good stuff. Good stuff.
You never know what Jackie's
going to keep to herself and what she's going to
spring on people. It is amazing
what's going on up here.
Alright, well, we'll start with you, Dan,
for the recommendation
portion of the show. Since it is
November, and
we all like to sit down and eat and think
about the slaughter of indigenous
people and
we always talk about what
we're thankful for and
mine is that we
took over this country
and no I don't
say that but
what are you thankful for with
regards to movies Dan could you name a movie what are you thankful for with regards to movies, Dan? Could you name
a movie
that you are thankful for?
That you are
glad it exists?
You appreciate it in a way that
maybe you don't other
films? I would
probably have to
go with my favorite movie of all time.
I'm very thankful for the movie Stand By Me.
Terrific example.
Yeah.
Throughout various points of my life,
I've identified with all four of those boys and their stories.
And I think that there's just some great messages in that scene
between River Phoenix and Will Wheaton.
When he tells him bullshit, you can do things with your life.
Yeah.
It's like God gave something to you.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I loved it when he told him that he was going to be stuck in shop.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
And it's just, I don't know.
And obviously the end where it just talks about friendships and stuff like that.
I absolutely adore that film.
So I'm very thankful for Stand By Me.
Yeah.
I earned it. Thank you.
So much amazing
tender dialogue in that movie.
Like sick balls.
Yeah.
Which to me just sounds like
his balls are going to vomit.
No.
Chopper.
But they used to say that to dogs.
Sick them.
Yeah.
Sick them.
Sick them, boy.
Do they still say that?
I guess if you still have a guard attack dog
on your property.
Probably, right?
I mean...
I think an attack dog,
I think as soon as you let go of them,
they don't need the sickum part.
Yeah, that's
more for you to feel like you
had a role in that.
Yeah, I'm the reason that junkyard dog
just went to town on your junk
dog.
That old guy
in that scene who says
chopper sick balls. Well, he says
sickum, but what he heard
was sick balls.
He is one of the old guys
in Return to Me
that hangs out
with Carol O'Connor,
and I never knew that
until very recently.
That's the same,
the same actor
plays both of those parts.
All right.
He's delightful in one
and mean and terrifying
in the other.
All the best
character actors are.
That's very true.
Very true.
I just saw an early Wilford Brimley performance and that guy hit the ground
at 60.
He played old guys
from Jump.
How old do you think he is in the thing, Wilford Brimley?
He's about 26 years old
in that movie.
I just looked it up during the Halloween season.
Yeah, he's like, no joke, he's like 40.
Jackie?
Yeah, like in...
I never saw it.
You never saw The Thing?
Yeah, we're going to spend the entire episode on this.
Well, that wouldn't have helped you to figure out his age, though, either, if you had seen it, because that's the premise.
Right, Wilford Brimley does look like the kind of guy that looks like he was born looking about 62.
Yeah.
What do you think, Doug?
Just for fun.
How old do I think he was in which one?
John Carpenter's The Thing?
Yes.
What year did that movie come out?
81.
81.
Yeah.
So he was probably like, like Joe was saying, he's probably like 40 something.
Yeah.
He's 47 years old.
Oh, okay.
When that movie came out.
And he looks like he's 68 years old.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, like around that, you know, it must have been, I don't know when Cocoon came along, but
that was a movie about a bunch of old people.
And he was one of them.
And he wasn't that old.
He's like 52 years old.
And he's supposed to be like 78 years old.
Yeah, just walk slower.
Chew your oatmeal slower.
And grow up with
everyone smoking cigarettes around you your oatmeal slower. And grow up with everyone smoking cigarettes around you
your entire life,
and you then also smoke those cigarettes.
You'll age wonderfully.
The Thursday Murder Club just got picked,
like, bought option by Spielberg,
and it's a series about people in their 70s and 80s
who solve crimes in England,
but he's going to book everyone in their 50s and 60s.
It's going to be the Wilford Brimley of today.
It's going to get some work.
They're going to be told
to walk slower.
Jackie, do you have a movie
that you're thankful for?
I can't follow that.
I'm just going to...
I loved Wakanda Forever.
Okay. Let's go current yeah I just saw it I was like 20-25 minutes into it and all I could think was I would like to watch this
again and there was another two and a half hours to that movie and where are you at with the MCU
in general do you find them wildly varying or do you generally enjoy them? I am predisposed to like all of them.
And then, but I of course
I mean, you know, there's
what, something, 30 of them?
So I have
sort of my top five and then
now it's got to, it's
because both Black Panther movies
are in the top five, so I think I've got to
go with the top ten. But I like,
I'm controversial. I like the Ant-Mans.
That's controversial?
It's real
controversial, the Ant-Mans. Why?
Well, because they're not...
Everybody's like, Thor,
Ragnarok, buddy movie, Hulk.
And you're like, yeah.
Anyway, what I like about Ant-Man is
Ant-Man, the stakes are low.
All that dude, he just wants to hang out with his daughter.
Like, he's not trying to save the world.
He just wants to hang out with his daughter, man.
Yeah, and they really figured out a way to get around him a lot of shit by making him,
well, he's ant-sized, but super strong.
Right.
Right?
So, like, it's never like, oh, no, he's going to get stepped on.
Because if somebody steps on him, he just goes, hey.
Right. He's not Rick Moranis. Throws them, he's going to get stepped on. Because if somebody steps on him, he just goes, hey. Right.
He's not Rick Moranis.
Throws them, you know?
That is the move.
It's not the honey, I shrugged the kids tiny guy.
It's like, hey, I'm the sexiest man alive.
Eh.
Solid Paul Rudd impression.
So wait, so your answer was Wakanda Forever.
Yes.
But you liked the Ant-Mans.
Yeah, right.
But Wakanda Forever, of course, was so, it was incredibly, it's just good filmmaking, you know, much like the first Black Panther.
Because I like, my favorite MCUs are the ones about family, you know.
Or the ones that aren't focused on one character so much, like the ones with groups, like the Guardians and things like that, tend to be more fun.
Yeah, First Guardians was good.
I really liked it.
But I liked First Avenger.
I liked the first Captain America.
Because it was him and Bucky and creating a family.
Wait until you see Fast and the Furious if you like family.
Yeah, those movies are all family.
If you like family,
oh fuck, you're gonna
lose it. Because here's the thing,
in those movies, it's
all about family.
Wait a minute.
They'll just drive a car off a cliff
and jump out of it going, family!
With a
Corona.
That's all they're allowed to drink in Fast and the Furious. Fireball and Corona. That's all they're allowed to drink
in Fast and the Furious.
Fireball and Corona.
All right, Joey Roses,
what do you got for us?
What's a movie you're thankful for?
Well, you know,
I want to say Barbarian.
It was just,
what a just wild, batshit,
awesome movie that hit theaters.
You're thankful for that.
Well, I want to say that.
I think I'm truly thankful for, because I can't stop talking about it.
I am of the opinion that most of the movies that are coming out post-pandemic have been god awful.
There's been a quality drop.
And I went back
and re-watched Three Amigos
the other night.
And I was like,
I forgot.
I forgot that comedies
were really funny at one time
in my life.
And that had this many jokes.
The three of those guys in that movie are hitting,
it's like Grand Slam top of their game comedy
through the entire thing.
He has been talking about this for two days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm solicited, yeah.
And it's so well structured.
I call my friend and I go,
I never thought I'd see the day when I said
Three Amigos is better structured than most dramas that are
coming out right now.
We took it for granted, people.
Because that movie got
poorly reviewed when it came out.
They were like, ah, enough already. Yeah, Chevy
Chase, great. Everybody was
like, whatever.
We took it for granted.
It's a great, great,
great movie. It's so funny. Great musical number, too. It was a great, great, great movie. It's so funny.
Great musical number, too.
It was a great musical number.
I laughed out loud hysterically for an hour and a half
in my apartment alone, and I was like,
I haven't done this in a long time.
Yeah, that sounds like a mental break.
That's part of it.
That three men in matching cowboy outfits
on a very horrible-looking back lot set
that never feels real for a goddamn second.
But that's the joke.
That's part of the joke.
That's the joke.
That's part of...
Wait, do you hate Three Amigos?
I don't love it like, say, you do.
My little buttercup has the sweetest...
Smile, smile.
Oh, at the end.
Look.
It's more fun to hear you guys do it.
No, I love...
Don't get me wrong.
I love those...
I love two of those guys unconditionally, you know.
Right.
And one of them was a hero of mine as a child, Chevy,
and then just kind of proceeded...
Got more and more to a point where, like,
looking at him is aggravating now.
Right.
You know, so it's kind of weird to go back to go back. I don't really go back to his movies
as much as I did. I love foul play as a kid. I love scenes like
old times. I didn't love Oh Heavenly Dog.
No. Where Benji dies and gets reincarnated as Chevy Chase.
Yeah. No, I'm not a big fan. That one's not so good. But anyway.
Fletch, of course.
But Three Amigos is interesting to me.
It's interesting that you enjoy it so much to me
because it is like, when you were saying so many great lines,
I was thinking about how it's kind of
a series of set pieces. They just sort of do
a thing for a little bit, and then move on to the next
thing. And I'd
watch it again just off of that. I've never seen it.
For your enthusiasm for it. Yeah, it's
perfectly structured. Like, it's perfectly structured.
They hit the dilemma.
They do the setup in the first scene.
They hit the dilemma like 12 minutes in on the nose.
The tension.
You enjoyed it so much
you were looking at your watch?
What happened?
I wasn't timing it.
I'm a swimmer. I have a good internal clock.
I was swimming while I watched.
He had a better sense of time than a lot of comics.
Anyway.
You just said that Three Amigos has tension in it.
It does.
Like, I don't remember that.
El Guapo.
It does.
I don't remember ever feeling like their lives were genuinely in danger
or that we would see something violent happen.
When they scare off El Guapo's men
the first time and they're like, we did it.
We're great. And then El Guapo comes himself
and when Steve Martin
gets shot and then he realizes
this is real.
It's a tense moment, but it's funny.
It's still funny.
I want to see it on ice.
When I see it, I want it to be Disney on ice. When I see it,
I want it to be
Disney on ice. I would also like to mention that
Sweet Home Alabama was on in my room
last night, just by chance.
And that is a movie from 2002
that makes you
believe in that movie, people
in Alabama were still referring to
northerners as damn Yankees
in 2002.
There's a scene where she goes,
did you call the sheriff on me?
And the sheriff comes in and goes,
whoo, hells bells.
I was like, this is why the country's divided,
everybody.
You brought a baby to a bar?
So you want me to change your answer?
No, three of you.
Sweet home Alabama.
You can pick either, it's up to you or Barbarian
the bad shit horror movie
you can pick one of the three
no your answer is
you had such a heartfelt emotional
response with the three amigos thing
it stands
it stands as your official answer
Conan the Barbarian
Conan just Barbarian? Huh? Conan?
Conan? No, just Barbarian.
Yeah, it's about a woman who does
something no woman would ever do in their life.
What?
There is no
world in which a woman goes,
I'll go in here. I'll go in here.
There is women
who have been divorced
and found the man of their dreams
and would not do what this woman does for a guy.
That's bullshit.
That is not bullshit.
That's bullshit.
They justify why she has to go into the house.
Not really.
Not really.
I would hang out with Conan the Barbarian.
Listen, folks.
Don't listen to Dan Van Jerk over here.
It's a good movie.
Just sleep in your car.
She can't.
It's a horrible neighborhood.
Get out of that dumb neighborhood.
Just get out.
She should have taken George Peel's advice and got out.
No, Dan's right.
We should shit all over a movie one of our friends made.
No, I did not.
I do not think that.
I just said no woman would do it.
I enjoyed it.
I loved seeing Kurt in it.
You sound like you enjoyed it.
I did, but no one would.
You have to suspend a big hurdle.
Doug loves movies on Justin Long starring in the picture.
I know.
I suspend my disbelief all the time.
Did I tell you about Wakanda forever?
I love all the MCU.
I love all of it.
I'm good at suspending my disbelief,
but I don't enjoy tension.
So, I would probably not.
What's missing from Wakanda?
Oh, then you're going to hate Three Amigos.
Yeah.
What's missing from... You're going to hate Three Amigos.
What Wakanda Forever really needs
is a character named El Guapo.
That would really bring it all together, I think.
Then everyone can enjoy it.
But those are terrific recommendations.
I'll definitely see Wakanda forever
because I haven't seen it yet,
and maybe watch these other two again.
It's like, Joe, you have an excellent point
about when we're on the road as comedians,
you turn on the TV,
sometimes there's one HBO or one Showtime
or sometimes there's five or six,
but there's never anything you really want to watch
on all the channels,
so you end up just watching something that's like Sweet Home Alabama,
where you're like, this is engaging enough because it doesn't make any sense.
Right.
So I can hang with this until the commercials.
It came on because I put the channel on because Four Christmases was on.
And I was like, this is soothing enough to be on in the room right now.
That's it.
Jon Favreau.
And who's the guy that plays the other brother?
Vince Vaughn?
No, the non-actor guy.
The guy doesn't act much.
I know who you mean.
He's a football player or something.
Yeah.
Or a country singer, actually, I think.
But anyway, so fucking funny in Four Christmases.
Yeah.
That scene where they're trying to play one of those taboo or one of those guessing
games is a fucking hilarious
scene. Favreau making out with his
wife at the table and they're
getting almost into rough sex
at the table in front of the family
is
truly magical.
What is that guy's name?
The guy from Sling Blade. Isn't it the guy from
Sling Blade? Oh, Dwight Yoakam?
Isn't it Dwight Yoakam? I don't think so.
Nope, it's not Dwight Yoakam. That's what I was saying.
It's not Dwight Yoakam. It's one of those guys.
I wish we were in Texas because someone would
probably know. It's not Trace Adkins?
No. Is it Trace Adkins?
Is it? No.
Hey, real quick.
Don't ask them. Don't tell us.
Thanks.
I opened it and then I closed it Once it's open
It's so hard to close
Alright, so
Thanks again for your recommendations
And we're going to take a quick break
And then we're going to come back and play some games
We'll be right back
Yay
We're back!
All right, so this is who we're playing for today.
We worked it out during the break
through a series of arm wrestling matches.
And Dan is playing for
probably the best name tag in the room,
Les Miserables.
Good job, Rob.
Oh, you know what?
Actually, this name tag's better.
Jackie's playing for Portia in Pink.
I'm not good at this, so good luck.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then Joe picked our friend Will,
who has been known over the years
to come to the Houston shows
and bring a sheet
and have all the guests on the show sign it.
And I thought that was your name tag the sheet
it doesn't have a pun on it like that piece of paper you wrote will oh have
all three of these guests sign the sheet already yeah oh but you get people to
sign it another time and then date it. So there must be like over 100 signatures
on that fucking sheet. Show everybody.
This thing's ridiculous.
Wow, they look like
pants that you don't need underwear for.
I think, yeah.
The sheet.
Chris Hardwick had to draw a big version of his logo on there.
What a nerdist.
Okay.
So yeah, so Joe's going to play for Will O.
And his sheet.
And welcome back.
That'll be good.
Honorable mention to Walt, who I didn't pick,
but I still feel bad about,
but it was worth the joke,
and I have a disease.
Nice, Walt. Shout out to Walt the Lion and Herbie Goes Bananas.
I mean, add Goes Bananas to any serious-sounding movie,
and it creates a great new title.
Chinatown.
That's the name of Indiana Jones 5.
Goes Bananas. Chinatown. That's the name of Indiana Jones 5. Goes Bananas.
Goes Bananas.
Indiana Jones and the Goes Bananas.
Alright.
I enjoyed that one more than anyone else.
This first game we're going to play today is called Live Die Repeat.
Yeah!
Some people probably cheered for it, they don't even know what it is.
But it's a very fun game where I am going to say the title of a motion picture, and the first person up here on stage with me
who repeats back that title correctly wins the game.
Wow.
Let's do it.
Yeah.
I got a chance.
Seems simple.
And it also is simple.
But it's fun for me to play,
because the guests are always quite, they always look at me like how Joe's looking for me to play because the guests are always quite
they always look at me like how Joe's looking at me right now
Go ahead, what's your question?
Ask it
This really is the game
This is the game
I'll give you an example, True Grit
True Grit
But we have to wait until you give you an example. True Grit. True Grit. True Grit. See, damn. Okay.
But we have to wait until you finish saying it, right?
No.
Oh, okay.
No.
So, like, if he just said
True Grit,
right between True and Grit,
I would have said,
that is correct.
You did it.
All right.
But he didn't.
He didn't.
He didn't.
He came in after.
Okay.
But if you interrupt me
with an answer,
I'll tell you if it's right
or wrong or not,
and then I'll start back
at the beginning of the title.
Got it. All right. Here we go. me with an answer. I'll tell you if it's right or wrong or not, and then I'll start back at the beginning of the title.
Here we go.
Planes, trains, and automobiles.
Now,
you know I love a good pre-guess.
But also, other than the movie Planes
I can't think of any movie
other than Planes
Trains to Long Beach
that begins with the word
Planes
so
yeah
so that probably won't
probably won't be
what I'm about to say
but thematically
you thought it might be
thematic
yeah
and I'd bust out
a classic Thanksgiving movie
but
slow your roll
where it's
okay
it's only...
Oh, wait. Yeah, Thanksgiving's Thursday.
So it is coming up, so that might be what's
going on here.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm just going to read it.
Harry.
Harry.
Harry and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Harry and the Hendersons.
Harry Potter.
Harry Potter and the Game of...
The Goblet of Fire.
The Goblet of Fire and the Half-Blood Prince.
Harry Potter and the...
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!
That is correct!
Yay!
Well done, Joe.
Thank you.
I feel alive.
Just between us,
I'm going through all the Harry Potters.
I've done two shows of the first two movies.
That was the third one.
I'm just going to do each one.
Because, you know,
somebody has to say it faster than somebody else.
It's still a challenge.
Okay. You know? Yeah. You know, know, somebody has to say it faster than somebody else. It's still a challenge.
You know, but if you knew coming into it that that's what I was doing,
you really could have won.
Okay.
All right. So,
congratulations, Joe DeRosa. You won
our first game.
Nice.
Do you recall from previous
appearances on the show what you won?
No, I do not. It's been a while.
You get to go first in the next game.
Oh, that's great.
Isn't it an advantage to go first?
It is an advantage.
May or may not be.
I don't know.
We don't know yet.
I can't remember.
We have to find out together.
All right.
If only Jacob Seraf were here to tell you how to do it.
No? Nothing?
I got nothing.
Oh, I thought that was like a running gag on the show,
isn't it? Maybe you should have gone
with Sam Levine. Oh.
No, I just meant I've been on the show many times where
Jacob Seariff has combated you
in front of the audience about what the roles are.
No, I have lots of combatives.
Oh, okay.
It's kind of a thing comedians do.
Okay.
They sit down and start giving me shit about how dumb
these games are.
And it's mostly because they're bad at them.
Okay.
The ones that are good at them like it. Right, Dan?
Wait.
Was that a shot?
No.
Oh, okay.
Hold on. I'm reeling from my
Searoff bomb.
That bombed like Searoff said it.
Listen.
The Xanter?
Should we cut that part out?
No. He'll text me.
Yes, cut it out.
Okay.
This next game we're going to play, I'm so excited
because it's a twist on an old favorite.
And now it's called Bane or Rain.
Yay!
Okay.
I'm going to say a quote in my impression of Bane from
Dark Knight Rises.
You have
to tell me if that quote
is something Bane said
or something
that the character Rain said
who is the bad guy in
Passenger 57
with Wesley Snipes
or
or neither.
It could be something that's in
they don't say in either movie.
Okay.
I swear to God I thought you were going to say
or if Dustin Hoffman said it in Rain Man.
Yeah.
I thought that's what you were going to say
and I was like this is going to be the easiest game of all time.
But you really threw this is going to be really hard
I've never seen Passenger 57
who played Bane in the
Batman movie
Tom Hardy and I got it
because
you know James Adomian does it in
Harley
James Adomian plays Bane in the cartoon.
Oh, right on.
Yeah, yeah.
Love James.
All right, so Jackie's just going to be here for any extra trivia.
Yeah, yeah, I got other James Adomian trivia.
All the James Adomian trivia.
If anyone needs that, there you go.
But Joe is going to be, I'm going to do the line for you,
and you're going to tell me Bane, Rain, or neither.
If you miss, then Jackie gets a shot. If she misses, Dan gets the gimme point. And it goes around
like that. Whoever gets it right, the next person gets to go first in the next round.
All right.
Ready, Joe?
Yes.
All right.
Put that down.
Okay.
Is this
Bane, Rain,
or Neither?
It seems I may
have underestimated you.
Very good, Doug.
It seems
I may have underestimated you.
It really does throw you
because the voice makes you immediately think
it was said in Batman,
but it's because of the voice.
Also, unless the line starts with,
Hey, Wesley Snipes.
I'm not going to know if it was from
Baskerville.
I'm going to just say it was from Baskerville. I'm going to just
say it was Bane said it.
Bane said it in the Batman movie.
You're going to say Bane said,
It seems I may have
underestimated you.
Yes.
Incorrect.
Jackie, is it
rain or neither?
I think it's rain.
I think.
You are correct.
It was rain.
Yes.
Because sometimes in thrillers, people get underestimated.
That's why I picked that.
Everybody knows. that's why I picked that so everybody knows
I'm mad at myself
because I know Bane
as a character
would never give
Batman that much credit
right
and I'm mad at myself
think it through
here's the next one
here's the next one
it could happen
it is the kind of word
he would use though
right
he likes words
that are more syllables
than necessary
I could also see Bane
saying that to like
Two-Face
what's that
like to another villain a non-Batman yeah might not have been to Batman Joe more syllables than necessary. I could also see Bane saying that to Two-Face. What's that? To another
villain. A non-Batman.
Might not have been to Batman, Joe. He might have said it
to a bartender.
Maybe he said it
to a postal worker. We don't know.
Right. His ex-wife.
Two-Face isn't in the movie, though.
It's true.
Bane's ex-wife, though.
She is. Bane's ex-wife? Yeah is Bane's ex-wife?
Yeah, she would have slept in the car
She what?
No, I'm just referencing
I'm riffing, Joe DeRosa
I'm riffing
Are we all familiar?
It's my best chance of winning
I take this too seriously
You are competitive Good for you
Jackie's on the board
With one point
Yes
Dan gets to start us off
On this next one
Okay
Dan is it Bane
Rain
Or neither
Okay
Who said
Okay
Bet on red And you'll soon be dead Who said?
Bet on red and you'll soon be dead.
Bet on red.
Yep.
And you'll soon be dead.
It is rain.
That is incorrect.
Wow.
It is.
Such a famous line in Passenger 57 that has to do with that.
Joe?
I know for a fact it's neither.
It's a fact?
It's a fact.
You said you'd never even seen Passenger 57.
But I would have guessed it based on the trailer,
always bet on black, and it wasn't that.
Right.
So, see, I'm playing smart now.
I know Bane didn't say it.
That is correct.
Good job. Me either.
Well done.
Yeah, I just imagine the conversation,
like where, because Wesley Snipes says to him,
they talk to each other a lot over like a walkie-talkie or something,
and he says, always bet on black.
And likes telling the villain, hey, I'm going to fuck you up.
And I thought it'd be funny if the villain said, bet on red and you'll be dead.
I just thought that was a funny reaction and response.
And it tricked Dan, so that's the main thing.
That's the main thing here.
Wesley Snipes had another trailer at the same time that had a great line in it
that was up there with Always Been on Black, where his
boss goes, we gotta do this one
by the book. And Wesley Snipes goes,
well then I'm gonna put him in a box
by the book.
Like he's gonna
set a book next to the box that he's in?
There was a button on the trailer. He was gonna kill the guy by
the book. And you don't remember what movie it was?
That's not in any book. It was Avenue
It was Avenue whatever the
president won. Oh 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Yeah yeah yeah. That's the one where in the trailer
when they find out that you know somebody's died there they say that's an address that
changes all the rules. It's such a terrible line.
Like, wait, what?
The rules are different with murder
if it happens at the White House.
And then time has gone on
and it's proven to be true, I guess.
Right, right.
Very.
All right, so Jackie has won.
Joe has won.
And Dan is always a great guest on the show.
Get on the board, Dan.
Get on the board.
Always nice to have you.
But since Joe got that last one,
Jackie gets to go first on this next one.
If she gets this one right,
she wins Bane or Reign.
Now, this one is a back and forth a little bit.
I'm going to say one line is like just a regular guy,
and then I'm going to say the response that's either made up so it's neither,
or it's bane, or it's rain. Jackie, it goes like this so what's your plan commandeering this plane
with no
survivors
so turns out that's his plan
wow
wow Wow. Wow. Wow.
Weirdly, I kind of want to guess rain.
That's what you want to guess?
That's what I want to guess.
Let me double check this real quick.
That's incorrect.
I am wrong.
I could have won this game.
You still may.
You really could have.
That was really a great moment right there.
Dan?
I'll go Bane.
You're going to say Bane said commandeering this plane
with no survivors?
Yeah, he says it to Littlefinger.
He says it to who?
Well, that's my guess.
It's my fault. I opened
the door earlier. Oh, boy.
I tried to shut it. Once that door's open. I know.
I kind of like to leave it open, you know, because we
have a seat for Elijah.
But, uh...
Big guess of Hanukkah.
What'd you guess? I guessed Bane.
Bane is correct! We've got
a three-way tie!
There is hope.
Who's Littlefinger?
It'll be bad.
Who is what?
Or you.
Yeah, I don't...
Who's Littlefinger?
Who is Littlefinger?
That's the guy.
Garcetti.
Who?
From The Wire.
Oh, The Wire guy.
Yeah, who's also Littlefinger.
The actor from The Wire.
He's like the guy in the plane at the beginning that's yelling at Bane.
Yeah, he tells him.
He's yelling at Bane on the plane.
Did you know that Bane on the plane
speaks mainly? Bane is like
insane. It's interesting
that you're threatening to throw me
off a plane, but you're also
going to shoot me.
It's a weird scene.
Isn't that the one where he says,
it will be bad.
If you take off the mask, will it be painful? He goes, it will be bad? Yeah. If you take off the mask,
will it be painful?
He goes,
it will be painful for you.
Such a good line.
Yeah.
But the sound mix wasn't great,
so people didn't even know
what he was saying in that scene.
And they never follow through with that.
There's all that set up
in that whole opening sequence.
Why does he wear the mask?
It's like a James Bond movie.
It's just an opening stunt, and then they move on. But they bring up the mask like multiple's like a James Bond movie. It's just an opening stunt
and then they move on.
But they bring up the mask
like multiple times
and then they never tell you.
You know what movie
would not have done that?
Never tell you why
he wears the mask?
I don't think they ever...
It was because he was
born in the shadows.
You know what movie
would not have done that?
Three Amigos.
Yes, that's true.
Very well structured film.
They never explain
why they wear the hats.
Because it's always funny.
All right, Josie.
It did work out for you that you get to go first
or that you went first
because now it's back to you
and this is the tiebreaker.
So if you get this one, you win the game.
Great.
Yeah.
I love it.
Yeah. Wait till you hear what you win if you win the game. Great. Yeah. I love it. Yeah.
Wait till you hear what you win
if you win this game.
All right.
All right.
This one does less acting.
I just have the one sentence
to say.
It's either Bane or Rain
or neither.
It's the American way
isn't it brother
I'm just gonna say
it's the American way
isn't it brother
fuck
Bane might say that on Wall Street!
For the listener at home,
Joe is rocking back and forth
like the little kid in the movie Looper
after he makes it rain inside.
Bane, rain or neither?
I've never felt closer to you. I'm going to say rain. I'm going to say rain. We haven't felt close to Rain I'm going to say Rain
I'm going to say Rain
We haven't had a Rain
I'm going to say Rain
Alright
You're saying it's like
Rain
On a summer's day
It's a free ride
You go Rain
That is correct
You did it
That's it
Hey Alright Here we go Here we go That is correct. You did it! That's it! Hey!
Here we go.
Here we go.
Now it's a game.
Welcome out of the shadows, brother.
Because like, Bane is not
above calling somebody brother.
And then the bad guy in this other one
said it, so I was like, that's too good.
But you figured it out.
And there is the big Wall Street sequence. And I was like, that's too good. But you figured it out. And there is the big Wall Street sequence.
And I was like, I think he says this
when he's stealing the money, but he doesn't.
Who plays Rain, by the way?
Who plays what?
Who plays Rain?
An actor that we never heard from again.
And this is crazy.
His last name is Payne.
Really?
Yeah, so it could have been Rayner Bain or Payne.
Do you know what his agent said?
Nuh-uh.
No Payne.
No Gayne?
Yeah.
That's what he tells every...
To try to get him into every movie.
Yeah, to try to get him into every single movie.
You gotta hire him.
No Payne, no Gayne.
Every movie.
And they're like, we've heard it, dude.
Yeah, that guy didn't...
He was the villain in that movie and then didn't.
Okay.
Just sort of disappeared.
Kind of like what happened to Alan Rickman after Die Hard.
Wait, what?
Very similar character.
Anyway, let's do another break.
And when we come back, Joe is going to go first in our final game that's going to determine who wins the Fuck St. Louis bag.
Apologies.
The whole bag. Apologies. St. Apologies. The whole bag?
Apologies.
St. fucking Louis.
The whole bag?
Did not mean to say that about St. Louis.
I love it there.
I had to look at the bag and go, whoa.
I love their fucking bags.
Yeah.
And I don't, it's the flyover festival,
but I do not fly over.
I go right in there.
We'll be right back!
Yay!
We're back!
Only that guy
doesn't have his phone out.
What's happening, Jackie? This entire row
had their phones out, and I was like, why doesn't that guy have his
phone out? Oh, there it is.
Oh, never mind. Okay.
They're just working something out
right in front of our faces.
We're not in a commercial break anymore either.
Oh, wow. Okay.
You okay?
You're hungry? Oh, then you should probably just go.
Because now I have
to sit here and do 25
more minutes of show knowing that you would rather
be eating.
Story of my life, to be fair, Doug. Story of my life, to be fair, Doug.
Story of my life, to be fair.
People are always on their way to a meal
when they come see you?
No, I am.
I'm constantly going,
man, I could really eat something right now.
I see, I see.
Okay, fair enough.
All right.
So, Joe emerged victorious in that last game.
He did, he did.
Yes.
So that means, Joe, you're going to go first
in our last game.
And I'm begging you to stop talking to each other
about where you're going to eat and just fucking leave.
Oh, you're good?
Because I could see you.
See, that guy just talked into your ear
about what I'm saying to you right now.
What did you say, sir?
You're going to get roasted.
I don't have time to roast anybody.
We've got a fun game to play.
We're almost done.
I've got only one more warning,
and then I'm going to probably give a third warning.
All right.
Okay.
Here's how this game works.
It's called Super IMDB.
Woo!
Oh, yeah.
Here's how this game works. We're going to start with Joe
I'm going to name an actor or actress
And then you're going to guess
The title of a movie
You think might be
On their IMDB page
As one of their best known for
Movies Okay I love this game DB page as one of their best known for movies.
I love this game.
I do. I'm excited
about it. If you get one of
the titles in the top four, you get
a point. Then we move to
Dan and he gets to guess.
Obviously the title you said
will be off the table.
Guess a different movie. If it's in there
you get a point.
And then Jackie, same thing to you.
Play multiple rounds so different people will go first
so Joe doesn't always get to go first.
Okay.
And again, it's just
the folks on stage guessing here.
And the winner of this?
Because it's going to come into a lot of your heads
and you're going to want to say it out loud
and this is for the fuck you St. Louis bag?
this is it right?
this is the game
that will determine who gets
St. fucking Louis
remember that game where
it was like all those IMDB names
you had to pick a number
remember that?
Where you'd say the movie or you'd say the name of the actor
and then it would be like how many people were in that movie,
like where they were in the list.
Oh, the Leonard Moulton game.
Was that that game?
Well, that's a different game you're describing.
Right, right.
It was a different game.
I'm glad it's not that game.
I was really bad at that game.
Oh, because that one was too hard for you?
That one's too hard.
Oh, okay.
It's a nice game.
This should be a little easier.
It seems nicer.
We'll see how it goes.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Okay.
Air Bud.
I'm sorry.
I'm just excited to...
Too soon.
Too soon.
Okay.
I'm just excited to win.
Yeah, when in doubt, just yell out Air Bud.
You never know.
You never know when I might go, yes.
It was Air Bud.
But it's not your turn yet, Jackie.
You're going third on this one.
We're switching the order around.
Joe, tell me what you think might be in the top four of the films.
And I'll even give you a little extra piece of information about the person
in case anybody gets confused about who they are
he was a robot on
the Westworld TV
show on HBO
Ed Harris
yes
so give me a film
that you think would be
the algorithm or that
he or his agent bought
IMD Pro and decided
themselves.
You don't know which way it's going to go.
Yeah.
The top four meaning most
looked at on IMDb.
Basically. Or like I said, he could have
arranged his own top four.
I'm going to say
The Truman Show.
That's your answer. I'm looking at say The Truman Show. That's your answer.
I'm looking at the four titles,
and it's the first one they mention.
Oh, my God.
Holy smokes.
Well done, Joe.
Wow.
Are you a ringer?
Well, any movie where the actor wears a little beanie hat
through the whole thing, they took it real serious.
You know, Tom Hanks
Philadelphia, The Truman
Show.
That's it. That's all
the examples. That's it. That's the two of them.
There's probably another one out there somewhere.
Okay, now we move on to Dan Van Kirk.
He's eliminated one of the
many films that Ed Harris has been in.
Yep. What do you think is in his top four
in addition to The Truman Show?
There's three more to me that are
extremely strong contenders.
I will go with...
Could I have one?
Don't want to help Jackie.
She wants Dan's leftovers.
Can I just have either one of the...
I'll go...
I'll go with The Rock.
That's an actor.
I'm kidding.
Is it?
Oh, yeah.
That's a performer.
He's actually gotten so much better.
I've always liked him, but yeah, you're right.
I just re-watched San Andreas, and I was like,
oh, this was early on.
It was?
I have a multi-thousand dollar bet
that in the next 15 years,
The Rock will be nominated for a performance Oscar.
Someone even
started to clap and went, oh no, wait.
I didn't think you were going to say that.
I think that he will.
I thought after nominated it would be like
People's Choice Award.
Not an
acting Oscar, or maybe a producing Oscar.
Performance.
What?
What?
What could he possibly do?
I feel like there's going to be a thing.
He's just going to be in a full-blown drama?
15 years, I think there's going to be a...
I hope we're around in 15 years.
Remake of Blindside.
To have a...
Or The Wrestler.
That's what I'm saying.
The Rock is Schindler.
You don't think he'd be great in the blind side
playing Sandra Bullock's part?
He'd be so fucking good.
He would have been good in that role.
But he would get a nomination.
Let's not take away roles from women for The Rock.
Let's take away that role from everyone Dan, bad news
The Rock did not make his top four
Which makes me feel like he picked it himself
I'm shocked
Because that clearly is one of the most popular movies he's been in
And it's not in there
So, Jackie Clearly, it's one of the most popular movies he's been in. I can't remember. And it's not in there.
What were the other ones? So, Jackie.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
There's three more Ed Harris movies.
Ed Harris.
I like Ed Harris.
He's good.
In my dreams.
How about that?
Come on.
No.
Has he got that listed?
No.
I'm sure.
Here's the problem. I can't... Here's the problem.
I can't remember the name of it.
Didn't he play Hockney?
Okay, don't ask questions
because you'll get answers.
It's Hockney.
It's not called that.
Do you want to say Hockey the movie?
Hockney.
Oh, Hockney.
I see what you're doing.
I know exactly what's happening here. I'm losing. Oh, Hockney. I see what you're doing. I know exactly what's happening here.
Yeah, I'm losing.
That's what's happening. I'm going to have to call time
in a second because everyone's going crazy
wanting to yell at you
what the actual answer is that you're
looking for. So obvious.
Yeah.
It is to me now. It's so
obvious. Alright, Jackie, we're going to have to me now. It's so obvious.
All right, Jackie, we're going to have to move on.
But you were so close.
Because he didn't play the painter David Hockney.
He played Pollock in the movie of the same name.
Different artist.
Entirely.
He played a fish?
Wait, I'm kidding.
Yeah, that's it.
You all three guessed, right? Oh, okay. For some reason I thought we kept going. Yeah, that's it. You all three guessed, right?
Oh, okay.
For some reason,
I thought we kept going.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we all say another one
then that I should have said?
No, no, no.
Hang on a sec.
Okay.
Jackson.
Because I'm confirming
that Pollock was in there.
If you'd have known,
it was called Pollock.
Yeah.
That was the other one.
He's the artist
that splattered everything. He's the artist that splattered everything.
He's the guy that came up with that.
He monetized it.
Apparently he also had some trouble in his domestic life.
So the movie's more about that than about him throwing paint at the thing.
But we don't really have time to do this every time,
but you have another guess you'd like to do that's worth no points?
Yeah.
Okay, what is it?
I'm pretty sure, based on where we're at,
you have Apollo 13 in that top four.
Apollo 13 is on there.
He wasn't in Silverado, right?
He wasn't in that, no.
But then it was a Western, though.
God, you're so close with these noises and sounds
that you're making,
because he directed and starred in a movie called Appaloosa.
That's it?
Yeah.
And that's why I think it's in his top four, because he picked.
Because nobody's sitting around going, oh, Appaloosa.
Oh, wait.
Apollo 13.
I was thinking of Armageddon.
I'm like, why would he put Armageddon in?
Hey, Doug, could you start a podcast called Doug Loves Books?
I think you ask me that every time you're on.
Appaloosa 13 would be
an interesting movie.
All right.
So, at the end of that round,
we ended up with
only one point for
Joe.
Joe. You did it, Joe.
Willow. We'll start with Dan on this next one.
Willow, you're winning the wand.
Dan.
Yes, friend.
He...
He followed the science on CSI New York.
Okay.
Gary Sinise.
The films of Gary Sinise yep
I'll give you
Jackie just whispered
I'm so fucked
that is good podcasting
I should have said that into the microphone
you're not fucked if you're into like listening to
everything everybody says
and figuring out what might be happening
here instead of just giving up.
Dan, answer the question.
Okay. I will go with
Forrest Gump.
It's the number one movie.
Yeah!
All right, Jackie.
He's serious
because I did this for you.
Right?
Yes.
You know.
Yeah.
They know.
Right.
I want to say the shaggy DA.
Gary Sinise did that?
A lot of people don't know.
He just auditioned.
They went with RDJ on that one.
Nothing?
Hannah and Her Sisters.
I got nothing.
The last Woody Allen movie I saw.
That's a great guess.
But no.
No.
Not a chance.
Joe, tell her what she's not saying.
Tell me what I've won.
Hold on.
Nope.
Don't yell anything.
As Doug said, you'll be tempted to.
I literally cannot think of one other Gary Sinise movie besides Forrest Gump.
I'm going to take a wild guess.
I did this for you.
And say he was in Con Air.
Incorrect. You know what he was in Con Air. Incorrect.
You know what he was in?
Apollo 13.
Oh my god.
This is why I said
I did that for you.
And then for you.
Oh, that's why Doug said
listen to the...
I didn I understand.
I didn't understand.
At one point, he literally said in the last round,
Houston, we have a problem.
All I remember about Paul Dutton is Tom Hanks being like,
we're stuck up here.
That was scary good.
He used to do that in movies.
He would do that all the time. Yeah, Joe's always doing his physical impressions
when he comes on my podcast.
You really got to see this show in person.
All right, so the other two in Gary Sinise's top four, number two was Of Mice and Men.
And then number four was Ransom.
What's the Gary Sinise movie where in the trailer they go, he's a cyborg with a bomb in his chest?
My friend used to yell that at us when we got high all the time. He made a
movie where he was a cyborg. That's good to have like a signal when you know your
friend is high. He's yelling that weird shit. That's also my safe word during sex.
I yell out he's a cyborg with a bomb in his chest. Barry Manilow's safe word is apricot. Did you know that?
I did not. Barry Manilow's safe word is apricot. Did you know that? I did not. Barry Manilow's safe word, apricot.
Somebody's going to win some Mediterranean apricots today.
Yeah, they're in the bag.
Yeah.
Okay, so this next round, Jackie gets to go first.
You got this, Jackie.
I got this.
Yeah.
All right.
He was big into bigamy on HBO's Big Love
the late great
Bill Paxton
Independence Day?
Holy shit
Jesus Jackie Holy shit. Jesus, Jackie.
Doug, I think we need to take another break.
Holy shit. Jackie, do you know what movies are?
No.
I have that face thing
where I don't know what anybody looks like.
Okay.
I think I'm going to throw up.
I think you did throw up.
Joe DeRosa.
Just a little bit.
It's Joe DeRosa's turn, everybody. Has anyone ever been this bad? Hey, we got to wrap did throw up. Joe DeRosa. Just a little bit. It's Joe DeRosa's turn, everybody.
Has anyone ever been this bad?
Hey, we gotta wrap this thing up.
People wanna go eat.
All right, all right.
Just this row.
I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna say aliens.
Number one slot in his top four, aliens.
That is correct.
All right.
And this arrogant son of a bitch.
No, not that it wasn't. Did you see that thing he did?
Yes.
Where he was like, who fucking, oh yeah, Aliens.
I just want you to just say it.
I just want you to say it.
Number one.
I know, but I want you to just say it.
Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on.
We gotta keep playing.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
We gotta fucking eat.
Sorry. All right, it's'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's all right. We've got to fucking eat. Sorry.
All right, it's your turn, Dan.
Okay.
Obviously, Twister.
Yes!
Number four.
You did it.
So there's two more titles on here for Bill Paxton.
And I just want to ask
if either of you
have a second guess
just for fun.
I would say
I would give a shot
at Trespass
starring him and Bill.
What?
What's so funny about that?
Is this real?
It's really real, Dan.
All right.
So you got to go first
to this text round, Joe.
Okay.
What's so funny about trust me?
Are you gonna tell him?
Wait, so who got that last one?
He did. Wait, you got one, and
we both did. Joe got one.
I haven't gotten any. Shocking.
No one.
Oh, and Joe
got a point for aliens.
Okay, so you each got a point
in that round.
I am so sorry, Portia.
Joe gets to go first.
I'm so glad that you got another beer.
Okay.
Yeah.
Joe gets to go first in this one.
Okay.
You ready, Joe?
Yep.
Okay.
So you think.
He had a buddy. He had a buddy.
He had a buddy with bosoms on Bosom Buddies.
It's the films of Tom Hanks.
I thought you were going to say the other guy for a second,
and I was going to be like, fuck you.
Peter Scolari.
Peter Scolari.
I knew that one.
God damn, I knew that one.
I don't think Peter Scolari shares as much in common
with the other people in this game, but go ahead.
Tom Hanks, I will go with Forrest Gump.
I mean, it seems to be the go-to answer for you
whenever you get the chance.
And I feel like it comes up a lot in your life.
Rain Man and Forrest Gump.
But yes, that is correct.
Forrest Gump is in Tom Hanks' top four.
He won Oscar for it, of course.
And now we go to Dan.
I have to I have to
I have to let it play out
I'm
I'm gonna go with
I'll go with Philadelphia
Not in the top four
It's fine
Whoa
Yeah he won the Oscar
For that too
Back to back Oscars For that and Forrest Gump But Philly's not in It's fine. Whoa! Yeah, he won the Oscar for that, too. Back-to-back Oscars for that and Forrest Gump,
but Philly's not in.
It's fine, because it's all about what happens next.
Right, he didn't want to pick, like...
Cocktail.
I'm going to pick the gimme,
which is what he's done here,
which is big.
Yes. You're going with big? gimme, which is what he's done here, which is big. Yes.
You're going with big?
Is that your answer, big?
Oh.
Use the amplification end of your microphone.
Joe versus the volcano.
Are you sure you don't want to go with big?
Like, just to get a point on the board.
Big.
Okay, yes.
Big is in his tough board.
Like just to get a point on the board.
Big.
Okay, yes.
Big is in his top four.
This is one of the most emotionally traumatic. I have to go to trauma therapy.
Yeah.
Except for that I don't believe in trauma therapy.
I mean, you just never know.
Bigger things are happening.
You never know which way these things are going to go
and how people are going to play this game.
But Dan, if you had to guess another one
that would be in Tom Hanks' top four,
what would you guess?
Probably Apollo 13.
And you know what?
I probably would have done that for Bill Paxson, too,
if we're just shooting this shit.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.
I didn't even think of it.
No, that was clear.
Yeah.
Both of you didn't think of it four times.
Now, do you understand my reaction to you not saying it?
Hey, but Dan.
You did that to aliens.
Check this out.
Oh, whoa.
Everybody look this way and listen to me talk for a minute.
Sit down.
Sit down and shut up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just let me fucking finish this bit.
Yeah.
Apollo 13 is not in his top four.
It was a trap,
and you were too dumb to fall for the trap.
No, I was too smart to fall for the trap.
No, you weren't.
I admit to being too dumb to fall for the trap. No, you weren't. I admit to being too dumb to fall for the trap.
Hey.
What's the trap?
I don't understand.
It's not in here.
Apollo 13 is in every one
except the one
where Dan thought
it was gonna be.
Oh.
Dan was really smart.
He could have fallen
for that trap.
Oh, big time.
Everybody fell
for a piece of something.
And that's why I love riding this
shit.
Okay.
Now I get it.
So who got points in that last round? Jackie got one.
Ha ha!
And Joe
got one for the Forrest Gump thing.
And Dan...
Castaway is number
one. Love Castaway.
And it's funny, you look up Wilson's
IMDb page and it's not even mentioned.
And then
number four was
Saving Private Ryan.
Oh yeah.
I would have guessed Sleepless in
Seattle.
Joe versus the Vault.
So we have a tie
currently between Joe
and Dan. Oh, thank God.
Wait a minute.
But he didn't get a point in that one
and I did. Didn't that put me ahead?
More than one person can get a point
during each round because all you got to do
is name one of the top four.
No, I know. But he's already gotten two.
But I think he has three. I have three.
Wait, where? The very first
one. The first round he got one.
Truman Show.
Yeah, then he got one for Aliens.
Aliens. And he didn't get one this round
though. No, I did. I got Forrest Gump this round.
Always Forrest Gump. That's right.
Okay, so you have three.
Dan has two.
Sounds like I won.
Joda Rosa's our winner!
Oh!
I love it!
But just for laughs.
Because I was hoping there'd be a tie.
Okay.
Do I have to give up my Blockbuster card?
I think you should have already.
But just for fun, the films of Kevin Bacon.
Tremors.
We'll let Dan go first.
Ask yourself,
if I had a tiebreaker,
after the Tom Hanks thing,
where Apollo 13 didn't make his top four,
what's happening with Kevin Bacon's top four?
Are you going to go Apollo 13?
Or are you going to take a chance
and name one of his other films?
Right.
I think that... Oh, fuck.
Which way do you think this is going to go?
I think I would go
Apollo 13. Yeah.
It's not in his top four.
I know it is.
If you say Stir of Echoes is in his top four...
For a bonus point you don't need, Joe.
Footloose. Footloose is number one.
Number one.
Quicksilver didn't make it.
Will's going to win the Fuck Me in St. Number one. Quicksilver didn't make it. Quicksilver didn't make it. Will's going to win
the fuck me in St. Louis bag.
He starts out with the fun footloose
is number one.
And the remaining three movies
could not be more depressing
and disturbing.
The Woodsman, Mystic River,
and Hollow Man.
Oh, jeez.
How is Hollow Man in his top four?
That movie's fucked up.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I know.
Oh, I'm a man and I'm invisible.
I've got some interesting ideas
what I'm going to do with this.
Will some...
You know what I want to happen so bad?
I want an internet nerd to do one of those things
where it's like Footloose and The Woodsman
take place in the same universe.
You know when they do that with movies
with the same actor? I would like that.
You're talking about the Footwood universe.
It's very popular.
And you won the prizes
for Will!
Who kind of deserves him more than anybody
because he's been to 13 tapings.
Always brings his sheet with all the autographs on it
and always finds an interesting place to sit.
All right, Joe, you start us off.
You do your plugs first.
What do you got to promote?
Joey Rose's Sandwich Shop and Bar in New York City.
Yeah.
Please come by.
We're open seven days a week.
Go to joerosesnyc.com for details on that.
If you want to see me live,
jodorosainfo.com for my show dates and tickets.
And then I have two podcasts,
Taste Buds with Sal Volcano on YouTube
and the No Press Channel. And then we'll see you in hell Buds with Sal Volcano on YouTube and the No
Press channel. And then we'll see you in hell
with me and Patty Walsh talking about movies.
And you can get that
on Patreon. So check those out, please.
Thank you.
I love it when you post those
clips with Sal where you're like just
fucking yelling at each other about mustard
or whatever the fuck.
It's so entertaining.
I appreciate being able to scroll
through those and have a laugh.
Thank you, man. I love you.
Thanks for having me. This was really fun today.
Good to see you.
Jackie Cation.
Doug Benson, can I first say
that I appreciate that you believe in me
at least once a year. I do, every time.
This is going to be the one time this is going to be the one
this is going to be the time she's seen
all of these weird movies and know who
these people are and I don't
did you come all the way to Houston
to tell them that Apollo 13 is a weird
movie
can I tell you
I don't go for that artsy shit
can I tell you that I haven't seen I don artsy shit, all right? Can I tell you that I haven't seen,
I don't think I've seen any of the movies
that were mentioned this evening.
There's no way.
You've never seen Forrest Gump?
I've never seen Forrest Gump.
Oh, my goodness.
And by the way, I've never seen it on purpose.
What an amazing life you're leading.
Yeah, you know what?
I feel healed because of it,
because he's a piece of shit in that movie.
Anyway.
Forrest Gump's a piece of shit?
In that movie, it is a celebration of stupidity
that I don't want any part of.
It is genuinely a celebration of...
Yeah.
I feel like he means well, though.
It's essentially...
It's the idiot's version of Zellig,
another movie I've never seen.
Anyway... What would you like to plug, Jackie? You know what I'm doing, another movie I've never seen. Anyway.
What would you like to plug, Jackie? You know what I'm doing, guys?
I'm canceling myself.
See me play stadiums all over the country.
Cancel culture isn't real.
No.
I'll be doing Fenway next week.
No, anyway, so, yeah, I have two podcasts.
I have The Dork Forest, where we talk about things we love.
Sadly, they are not random movies.
Sometimes they're movies, but I know.
And then I'm just continue digging this hole.
And the other one is called The Jackie and Laurie Show,
and it's Kilmartin and I talking about stand-up comedy.
And then JackieCation.com is where my tour dates are.
You could also go to FamilyPetAncestry.com,
which points you to Jackieycation.com,
because that's funny.
Familypetancestry.com.
Did your cat come over on the main flower?
Is your dog eligible to join the Dogs of the American Revolution?
Familypetancestry.com.
I'm done now.
Thank you, Jackie.
Jackie Cation, everybody.
Radical ideas.
You could go on a vacation.
You can go on a staycation.
But I prefer Jackie Cation.
Dan Van Kirk?
Yes.
Go to danielvankirk.com for all my dates.
I will be doing stand-up February 4th,
the final weekend of the 20th SF Sketch Fest.
And then the next night,
the Sklars and I are going to be doing
a live Dumb People Town,
closing out that festival on February 5th.
And everything else, podcasts,
and I don't know if you just want to say hi.
Everything's at DanielVanKirk.com.
Yeah, say hi.
Find out when Dan's hosting a bingo game.
Sure.
Participate in that. Yeah. It's very interactive following Dan Van hosting a bingo game. Sure. Participate in that.
Yeah.
It's very interactive following Dan Van Kirk.
Thanks, buddy.
It's not like Joe DeRosa
where you have to go all the way to his sandwich shop
to get any kind of interaction.
I do sell cookies, so you can do that too.
That's what I'm saying.
You've got your hands in so many things.
Yeah, I love it.
All right. I love it.
I want to thank the Come and Take It Festival.
I want to thank
Houston, Texas. I want to thank everybody
that came today.
Thank you.
It's a beautiful day. It's cold as fuck
out there. You should be out enjoying it.
You should be rolling around
and there's an ice skating rink over there
where it's like just not cold enough
for an ice skating rink.
So everyone's skating around on a puddle.
And it's adorable.
And one more time for all of my guests,
Joe DeRocha, Jackie Cation,
and Daniel Van Kirk.
And I, you know, I don't know how many years I've done this,
I always have to remind my guests to not leave the stage
because it's very distracting.
I only have one more sentence to say.
No, you can go, you can go.
No, go ahead, okay, Jackie's gonna hang out.
He's gonna hang out.
As always, we'd all be some kind of family.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies