Doug Loves Movies - Joe Lo Truglio, Kate Micucci, Ben Bailey, and Rachel Melvin Guest
Episode Date: November 11, 2014Doug welcomes Joe Lo Truglio, Kate Micucci, Ben Bailey, and Rachel Melvin to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privac...y#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby stickies
He's with 50 azipop or kernels in his feet
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves cookies
Hey everybody
I'd like to just briefly address
The
Person making that noise
Let's handle him first
You're a problem
And then the guy
The guy sitting next to him
It's like a section over there
You don't need to loudly and weirdly sing along to the theme song like that.
It kind of scares me when I'm backstage because I think,
oh, that's the guy that's going to loudly and weirdly scream out shit
through the entire show.
And, you know, I'm not a fan of that.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is our most movies.
That was like the most timid because you're all like,
wait, can we yell out now?
He just told that guy
Don't yell out and don't sing
And then he asked, then he cued us all
To yell out and sing
It was very mixed message-y
We're coming to you from the Upright Citizens
Brigade Theater on Tuesday
November 11th, 2014
Wolf of Wahlburgers
It's Veterans Day
Yeah Let's hear it for the veterans, you guys.
Tomorrow, Getting Doug with High
is going to be at 2.15 Pacific Standard Time
at youtube.com slash Doug Benson.
Today, if you're listening, on Wednesday
when this comes out,
so only those of you that are
here in this room right now are really getting a uh advanced heads up tempe arizona i'm doing
stand-up at the improv thursday night at eight o'clock big venue plenty of seats
and doug loves movies returns to the tempe improv this Saturday at four 20 ish. Of course,
with,
I think you're going to be impressed with the,
uh,
the guests that I managed to get in,
uh,
Tempe.
No,
you know,
I'm not casting aspersions on Tempe.
It's,
it's a beautiful place that will be warmer than anywhere else in the country
this weekend.
Now it's time for watch this.
Not that the number one movie in the country this past weekend
was Big Hero 6, which is not
a new sandwich at Subway.
And the number two movie was Interstellar,
the porn version of which I think should be called
Interstellar.
I haven't seen Interstellar,
but I'm pretty sure no one in it says,
Science, yeah!
So watch Big Hero 6, not Interstellar.
This has been Watch This, Not That.
Support TJ Miller edition.
Now it's time for tweet relief.
Tweets about movies.
At Rob Stoner Person tweeted,
Interstellar has
the same problem as Dark Knight
Rises. Not enough
Batman.
Good job, Rob Stoner Person.
This has been tweetweet Relief.
The prize bag has a couple of albums
and smaller albums.
These things, whatever they're called,
six-inchers, seven-inchers,
for different things that I just don't,
I don't even know what they are.
Like, you even look at them and like, what is this?
But I just have them, and so I'm paying them forward to somebody else.
So whoever wins the prize bag tonight, be sure to reach out
and let me know if this stuff is good or complete garbage.
Gateway Doug 2, Forced Fun, you don't have to reach out to me about that.
Keep your opinion to yourself.
And then, let's not get crazy.
And people...
Someone made a bunch of fancy, like,
customized lighters for me,
so I'm including one of those.
And then I forgot to get the guests to give me stuff,
but I think they brought stuff,
so we'll sort through that when they get out here.
We've got four chairs.
Always means a big, powerful lineup.
Please give a big, warm welcome to
Ben Bailey, Rachel Melvin,
Kate Micucci, and Joe Lotrullio!
Okay, we got two.
Two out of four.
That's a pretty good start.
We start up a show.
Hi, guys.
Hey.
That's Kate McHugh, everybody, saying hi first. Hi.
Somebody booed? Kate Micucci, everybody, saying hi first. Did somebody boo?
What was that noise?
It's okay if you did.
No.
What does that mean, it's okay if you booed?
It's all right.
I don't think that guy was booing.
I think it was some sort of tribute.
Maybe he was trying to make like a kazoo sound.
Oh, maybe.
I do like to kazoo.
Kate, of course, is the oats of Garfunkel and Oates.
And, yeah.
Thank you.
The TV series on IFC is going strong.
How many, have you hit the finale of season one yet?
Yes, all of season one has aired.
In fact, today we did the commentary for it.
So hopefully we have our fingers crossed for season two,
but we don't know anything yet.
Was the commentary laced with hope?
I think so.
I hope so.
When people see the commentary,
they'll be like,
they sound like they didn't know
if they were going to get picked up or not
when they made this commentary.
Well, good luck with getting the second season, but everybody loves it, so I can't see why they wouldn't. Thank you. I'll knock on this commentary. Well, good luck with getting the second season,
but everybody loves it, so I can't see why they wouldn't.
Thank you. I'll knock on this wall.
They're dummies if they don't do it.
And you always are so kind to bring actual art created by you
specifically for our winner today.
You made a nice little drawing.
This is almost like a name tag someone would craft.
But you brought a drawing that says
to show how much I love you,
I warmed up bagel bites.
That's all I know how to cook.
Oh, okay.
I thought it was kind of a thing like
I love movies that much
that I would warm up bagel bites for movies.
Exactly.
Because I love movies. And then I would warm up bagel bites for movies. Exactly. Because I love movies.
And then you also handcrafted the cover
of a sleeve,
I guess, a little envelope
that has Garfunkel
notes buttons and a
CD. A signed CD, in fact.
A slippery when moist CD.
Signed by both of you.
So sexy.
So there it is.
So all that's going in the prize bag.
Thank you so much, Kate McHughie.
And just to talk about the elephant in the room,
only three guests came out here.
I don't want to keep introducing people
as if nothing's happening.
I forgot to give you my prize bag.
No, that's cool.
That's Joe Latrullio, everybody.
Sorry.
I waited too long to say hello.
I was taking my surprise
and sorry about the late stage arrival.
No, no, as late stage arrivals go,
you guys are in the...
You guys finished first, second, and third.
And there's still someone in the distant fourth
because Ben Bailey,
I hope he didn't take a cab here
or is trying to take a cab here,
but we've gone back and forth about him being out in Los Angeles
and doing the show tonight,
and so I don't know where the disconnect is
or if he's stuck in traffic.
Do you think he went to the other UCB?
That's the other thing is there's a new UCB in town,
but even if he went there, it's really close by.
So if he got there at the 645 that I asked people to get here by,
then he'd be here by now.
So I'm worrying it's a bigger problem than that.
Ben, are you out there anywhere in the audience?
He may think it's on another night or may not think it's happening at all.
I may have imagined all of my texts with him.
But we'll find out soon enough.
But let's talk to you guys.
Let's talk to the living before worrying about the dead.
Joe is, of course, one of the stars of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Oh, thanks.
Thank you, guys.
On the Fox Television Network.
Sunday nights after cartoons.
Or is it on Thursdays now?
It's on Sundays now.
Oh, okay, Sundays.
It's on Sundays.
It was Thursdays at first
and then moved to Sundays?
I think it was Tuesdays.
It was Tuesdays.
Okay, let's really confuse everybody
as much as possible.
It could have been Friday
but then they moved it to Wednesday
but now it's on Sunday.
It's kind of the new Seinfeld
in that it'll take a few seasons
for them to figure out
where it belongs but it's a great show already. It's kind of the new Seinfeld in that it'll take a few seasons for them to figure out where it belongs,
but it's a great show already.
It's a show about nothing and cops as well.
Right.
But crimes are solved.
That's not nothing.
When I watch the show,
the writing that goes into actually having to have cases and stuff,
comedy writers are usually lazier than that.
They'd rather just write about a bunch of people in a bar.
Yeah, or people, you know,
people like, you know,
smacking each other in the head
or somebody slipping on a banana peel.
But even on Reno 9-11,
you guys never...
I like that.
I like that switcherooning.
Crimes are never solved on that show
for the most part,
but on Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
you have cases and they get solved. We do. We have
some closure. We have a couple of cases that
end in success.
It's mostly, you know,
Andre Brower and
Andy kind of going up against
each other, like rogue rebel
against the captain
who knows all.
That's their kind of main groove.
Is this making sense?
Well, about these prizes.
Yeah, what did you bring for us?
So today, a web series that I created
with Michael Lee Black called Beef came out.
And so I brought a little poster.
And Beef is Judge Judy meets the Sopranos.
And it's starring the incomparable...
I wish she had met them,
because she might have got them in line.
They might have killed a lot less people
as Judge Judy had intervened.
Possibly.
And then we have...
I brought a book from a movie I did called Paul,
a little prop book.
But what I like about this prop
is that it's actually the novel Yanni,
Yanni's biography. Yeah, that's actually the novel Yanni. Yanni's biography.
Yeah, that's
not a novel at all.
Yanni's biography.
Inside a cover that says
Paul on it.
And then just some random movies.
Hercules
and Transformers
Age of Extinction and Noah.
Noah.
There's already somebody
who does not want to win.
Someone's going to start giving wrong answers.
She's all, ugh, Noah.
That movie was crazy.
But thank you for bringing all of that
for the prize bag.
First time guest, Rachel Melvin
is here, you guys.
This is a big time for her right now Because this Friday she is one of the stars
Along with those two guys we already know
Of Dumb and Dumber 2
T.O.
Which
At first I thought that meant the movie takes place in
Thousand Oaks
Or Toronto
But it turns out It is the long awaited sequel to Dumb and Dumber At first I thought that meant the movie takes place in Thousand Oaks. Or Toronto.
But it turns out it is the long-awaited sequel
to Dumb and Dumber.
And not to give too much away,
the trailers pretty much
sell that you are
you are
Harry Dunn's daughter
and Lloyd Christmas wants to
get with you.
And Ben Bailey's here.
Come on out, buddy.
You're interrupting me chatting with Rachel
about Dumb and Dumber 2.
Go ahead and put this stuff on the table.
I brought prizes.
I was supposed to bring prizes.
Yeah, it's true.
All right.
What happened?
Was it a cab situation?
I couldn't get a cab.
I got into an Uber car.
Oh, shit.
That should be in my instructions
to out-of-town guests.
Don't Uber over.
No, I drove.
It's just, you know, fucking L.A. traffic, man.
That's what the
cash cab guy's gonna blame it on?
Yep.
You're late somewhere because of traffic?
Yep.
You had to get into a bonus round?
It's a different,
it's a different kind of traffic.
Were you running a shift on your way here?
You're dressed like a fucking cab driver.
What is,
I am a cab driver.
Have you just become a real cab driver?
All right, what'd you bring
for the bag? And then we'll go back to Rachel. We got some
French vanilla
coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.
We got some
kick-ass beef jerky.
See, this feels also like
you were not only running late, but you stopped
to get this shit along the way.
Dude, I robbed a bunch of hikers
on the way here.
I got some jerky, some Dunkin' Donuts
cups. This jerky, this looks like
really classy jerky. I don't even know
really what these are, but the name is so funny
that I brought them. They're called
Dude Wipes.
Wow.
It says
toilet paper plus dude wipes
equals king of the throne.
Are you kidding me?
That's what it says?
That's what it says on the back, yeah.
Directions, tear, unfold, and wipe, dude.
Come on, that's got to be,
that's a pretty good prize, right?
Also sweet for your face, hands, pits,
and dude regions.
Preferably before you do the...
I thought we already covered the dude regions with the initial concept that it was like toilet paper.
Just say it. The taint. Just say it.
There's three wipes in here. They're flushable. They have aloe in them.
All right. Dude wipes. Why are you not a sponsor of Doug Loves Movies?
Because it doesn't seem like you're going to get that word out any other way.
Although there's that commercial now where the guys are just walking around in their underwear for the Depends has a new line of underwear.
Like adult diapers?
It's like adult diapers, but they look like regular underwear.
So there's a bunch of guys walking around.
You haven't seen this commercial?
I haven't.
I wish I had some now.
All right, well.
I might use them later.
Speaking of things that are dumb, Rachel.
Does.
No, the film, Dumb and Dumber 2.
Oh, right.
I was telling them, Ben, when you walked in, that she plays Jim Carrey's
love interest, so to
speak. I mean, he's interested
in love. I don't know what happens from there.
He's interested in something, yeah.
And was it
like, how could you make that
movie without the entire time just being like
I stepped into this movie
from my childhood and now I'm
in it. It must have felt so weird
I mean I was definitely like six or
eight when it came out the first time but
I felt like I felt like I should have
been older for some reason because
I remember seeing it like when I was
younger but I don't know
it wasn't like a movie from your childhood
that you adore no I think I started
watching it like in my early 20s so I've
become a fan oh okay I think like so being on set was less intimidating for me because I started watching it in my early 20s, so I've become a fan.
Oh, okay.
I think being on set was less intimidating for me
because I wasn't like,
oh my gosh,
this is a cult classic.
I have to do so well.
Right.
All right,
well, I'm glad we've established
that you don't think
that it's really anything
to be nervous about.
She's like,
I couldn't get a part
in a good movie.
But that's good.
That's probably...
This piece of shit.
But that's part of why you probably got cast piece of shit. But that's part of why
you probably got cast in it
is that you had confidence
in the audition.
It wasn't so important
to you or whatever.
Yeah, and I'm also
not really bright,
so that helps.
That helps.
Well, you know,
that's kind of a thing
they have on those movies.
I heard that they only
cast dumb people
because, you know,
you don't want anybody
accidentally being smart
in a Dumb and Dumber movie.
And I don't know what I'm talking about.
But it opens Friday.
And people are going to love it?
I think so.
I hope so.
You've seen it?
Yes.
Did the premiere happen, like, last night or something?
No, it happened a week from last night.
Okay.
So it was a big, fun event?
Yeah.
Lots of people come out?
Lots of people that I didn't know. Who was, like, the most famous person that, like, was at big fun event? Yeah. Lots of people come out? Lots of people that I didn't know.
Who was the most famous person that was at the premiere?
Probably Jim.
Yeah, right?
Probably Jim.
It's cheating.
No, Larry David was there, and I was so pissed because I didn't get to meet him.
And I didn't even see him, and I love him, because Seinfeld was my ultimate favorite.
Oh, that would have been a great in for you.
You could have been like, that was me up there.
Yeah, right? That guy dumb number two could have been like, that was me up there. Yeah, right.
That guy dumb number two was trying to fuck, that was me.
Dumb number two.
I think Larry David is more famous than Jim Carrey.
What?
Oh, no, he's not more famous, I don't think.
But she knows what I initially meant.
I didn't mean who from the movie came to the premiere.
Right, right.
Because that's sort of something they do.
Jim would probably be there.
But premieres are less star-studded these days,
so whenever there's a random celebrity
that's not in the movie, it's cool.
And that's funny that it was him.
But he was in the Three Stooges movie
that the Farrelly brothers did,
so that's probably, he's just friendly with them.
Oh, I know they're really good friends with him, yeah.
But I was pissed because I like
to think of myself as a female Larry David.
You should have got... Oh, really?
You seem much more
pleasant than him
so far. I haven't heard you complain
about a thing.
But
if you think so,
that's awesome. I just want to say that
I think the concept of a female Larry David is fucking frightening.
Scares the shit out of me.
It's, what's her name, Lisa Kudrow in The Comeback.
No, she's too dumb to be a, yeah, right?
All right.
Thank you all for coming, and let's start with, oh, can you pass those prizes down? Oh, yeah. All right. Thank you all for coming.
And let's start with...
Oh, can you pass those prizes down?
Oh, yeah, more prizes.
Oh, wait, I have a prize, too.
Oh, that's right.
What did Rachel bring for the bag?
I brought a Dumb and Dumber T-Poster.
There you go.
Signed by the van that looks like a dog.
Those are hard to get.
Joe, have you been to the movies lately?
I have.
I just saw a movie called Force Majeure.
Oh, that is...
I gotta see that,
because it sounds really intense and interesting.
Yeah, I had friends.
Yeah, it was a terrific movie.
It's a movie about a family
who goes on a trip to the French Alps,
a little skiing trip, and they're with their children,
and an avalanche starts to approach this kind of patio that they're sitting at eating,
and the guy grabs his phone and gloves and takes off,
and leaving the wife and the kids there,
and then the avalanche stops and doesn't hit them
and the movie is about how that goes
down.
How they deal with that and it's pretty
great. I thought it was good.
Yeah, I've heard great things about it and
if you don't mind having to read
while you're at the movies. That's the only thing you do
have to read. Yeah, you do have to read the words but
maybe they'll make a shitty American version eventually.
So you can hold out for that if you want.
But yeah, I've heard good things about it,
and I really want to see it.
Kate, what have you seen?
The only, you know what, I guess it was like a month ago
where I saw Gone Girl.
I know everybody saw Gone Girl, I feel like,
so that's not very exciting to say.
I hope everybody's seen Gone Girl,
because on the last episode of the show,
Bobby Lee just really
could not shut his stupid mouth
and, uh,
his mouth isn't stupid, but, uh,
he just went off about what happened in it.
And, well, fortunately, he was inaccurate,
but I, uh,
I still worry for people that are
listening that haven't seen the movie yet that they
think it's ruined, you know? I just feel they really missed an opportunity to use that Hall & Oates song, She's Gone.
Yes.
If the credits rolled in that song, I would have been the happiest person if that song came up during the credits.
Yeah, you would have leapt to your feet.
That would be pretty amazing.
It just seems obvious that that would have been the choice.
I don't know why they missed that opportunity.
I know.
Stupid.
I know.
Stupid Hollywood. But you liked it, though? Yeah know. Stupid. I know. Stupid Hollywood.
But you liked it, though?
Yeah, I mean, I sleep at every movie, so I didn't.
That might not be the best one to not off during.
You wake up and like, go on my ass.
I read the book right before, so I filled in the blanks from the book, so I was fine.
But yeah, if I'm sitting still for a while, I'll just
fall asleep.
Simple cues like billing
give a lot away to me.
The actress that's gone,
her name is too prominent
in all the ads for her to
truly be gone.
She just has a cameo.
A star is only in the first two minutes.
Although, the wife and John Wick, I gotta say, it's pretty impressive how star is only in the first two minutes. Although, the wife and
John Wick, I gotta say, it's pretty impressive
how little she's in the movie.
Rachel?
I'm asking everybody
if they needed to do their homework.
What did you see, Rachel?
I saw Interstellar. Interstellar does not count.
I didn't choose to go see it.
I wanted to go see Nightcrawlers.
I was.
Nightcrawlers, so good.
I was guilted into seeing it.
But I haven't seen Interstellar.
Did you like it?
I mean, yes, I did.
Two hours and 50 minutes worth?
What do you think?
Stave out about 40 minutes?
It was interesting, but I don't want to think that much when I'm trying to be entertained.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm there for a good time.
There's thinking in it?
What, do they throw math problems at you?
Does Matthew McConaughey
have to figure out the tax
on a really big dinner check?
Like, does he buy around
for the whole space program?
It's really a complicated movie.
Oh, it's complicated.
Well, that's encouraging to me
because the trailers
make it look like,
I'm going to go into space.
All right, go already.
And then his family's like, when's he to go into space. All right, go already.
Then his family's like, when's he coming back?
I thought that's what it was.
All right.
That was my impression, too.
Then I got there.
All right.
I'm glad.
That sounds cool that they managed to take a three-hour movie and not completely ruin it with the trailer.
Because trailers give away every three days. A trailer is a movie in itself, really.
You can just watch that.
Yeah. Watch that and walk away. You can just watch that. Yeah.
Watch that and walk away.
They should do
Academy Awards for trailers.
I just had an idea.
I didn't see Interstellar,
but wouldn't it be so cool
if when they're in space,
you just see
Sandra Bullock fly by?
Oh, crossover.
It should be Clooney.
It should be Clooney.
It should be Clooney.
That would make me so happy.
Holy shit, he's alive.
Yeah.
Or Clooney.
Yeah, that would actually make more sense.
And doesn't seem worried about it.
He's just like,
at least I got my music.
I got my jams.
I got my country songs.
Ben, have you been to the movies?
Is that why you were late this evening?
Yes.
Coming from the cinema?
I was watching trailers.
No.
The movie I saw most recently
is another one that the title kind of tells you what's up.
Lone Survivor.
Oh, yeah.
I've argued with Mark Wahlberg himself about
Have you really?
about that title being a spoiler
and his argument is that,
well, you know,
why wouldn't he be the lone survivor?
He's Mark Wahlberg.
Right.
Right?
That's why he thinks
it's a perfectly normal title.
You could have called it something else
and we wouldn't have known
that there was going to be
a lone survivor.
Yeah, no, it definitely takes
a huge part of the suspense
of the movie,
but also it's not a suspense movie.
It's more of just a horrifying drama.
Yeah, I'll say.
I actually heard a girl who was not deterred by the title,
and she was like, can you believe they all died in it except for one guy?
And I'm like, yeah.
Yeah, I believe it.
Yeah, because in her mind, the lone survivor could have been the enemy.
There's one guy that killed all of them. There's a it. Yeah, because in her mind, the lone survivor could have been the enemy. Like there's the one guy that killed all of them.
There's a goat.
It's just a goat left in the end.
We just bomb the shit out of that village and it's just a goat.
The goat did it.
Happy Veterans Day, everybody.
Then it would have been called Goat Survivor.
And then we would have known,
fuck, the goat's going to live.
This is ridiculous.
The dead giveaway.
Why would they call it Goat Survivor?
There's only one goat in the whole picture.
It's a weird movie.
That was the part of the show where I said,
let the games begin!
Oh, yeah!
show I said let the games begin here's the deal didn't yours get picked Iron Man but you didn't win okay cool I'm so excited when I remember anything
everybody's got lots of crazy name tags. Good job, you guys.
So I'd like all my guests to just stand up
and go pick the name tag that is most appealing to you
and bring it back to your seat.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
We're back.
Who are you playing for, Joe?
I'm playing for Bruce Lawrence.
The solid flute and Bruce Lawrence.
Yeah, he took a Bruce Lee poster, picture, and put Lawrence instead of E.
What big Bruce Lee thing?
All right, so that spoke to you.
That's a good selection.
And it looks like there's a shithead on the back, too,
so don't read your shitheads on the back, you guys.
Kate got a...
That's Lord Farquhar from Shrek, I believe.
And he's got a pot leaf on his chest.
It looks like a pot leaf that a kid in first grade
molded in art class.
Well, that's when they really start making those pot leaves.
And that's Breezy Puffs, who gets her name tag picked almost every week, because every
week she brings in a different toy from home and makes it work somehow.
So congratulations.
Have you won the prize bag yet?
No.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Oh, no pressure.
It's up to you, Kate.
People are
playing fair with that. I
appreciate that, because once you win, you probably
shouldn't bring a name tag anymore.
But Rachel,
you've got a Big Hero 6.
Looks like a styrofoam
cutout, but it's really
a creative piece of work you did there.
Who made that?
This gentleman in the visor.
What's his name?
Because, of course, it's a name tag.
Big Hero George?
I can't read it.
I'm sorry.
Big Hero George.
George.
Big Hero George.
And the six is like the G in George.
Oh, how could you use the six as the G in George?
See, I told you I was casting dumb and dumber appropriately.
You're like Big Hero Six George. Is that the plot twist at the end, is that you're even dumber than they are? Oh, no, that's no secret. See, I told you I was cast in Dumb and Dumber appropriately. You're like big hero.
Is that the plot twist at the end
is that you're even dumber than they are?
Oh, no, that's no secret.
Oh, okay.
And what is this, Ben?
That says Aerosley, I think.
Instead of airplane.
And then it's, yeah.
Oh, it's Leslie.
Air Leslie.
Air Leslie.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Interesting.
Maybe I could get a role.
Are they finished casting?
She's got a good shithead
So if you lose
If you lose we're in good shape
Don't read that you silly
Doesn't say anything on the back at all
How many times do I have to tell you
When you were driving a cab
And telling people game show rules,
how did you get them to not fucking ruin it with their stupidity constantly?
Well, for one, I wasn't backstage getting stoned with you beforehand.
All right.
To determine who goes first in our game this evening,
our big game this evening.
You guys want to do some fucking live?
Let's fucking do that. Let's do it.
What are you guys fucking doing?
You doing good or what?
What's up, guys?
You going to fucking do this?
Hey, just here.
How you doing, Todd? Hey, Mark. What ya. That's the rap.
How you doing, Todd?
Hey, Mark.
What's up, Todd?
I just have a question for you.
Shoot.
A lot of people have been writing to me on Twitter and stuff about it.
Are you going to be in the new, you know, there's a new reality series with your brother
Donnie and his wife Jenny McCarthy.
Yeah, called Paycheck?
No, it's called Jenny Loves Donnie, I think.
And it's a new reality show.
Like, what do you think about that?
Well, the working title was Jenny Loves Donnie for Now.
I mean, anything that gets them out of the house, I'm fucking all for.
They've been living in an escaped camper van
that they rented for the last two weeks.
Is he outside now?
Who, Donnie?
Yeah.
That's the reason I'm fucking here.
He's looking for seasonal jobs.
So he's hoping to sell Christmas trees
across the street from the Baja Fresh.
When he gets done working at the Baja Fresh.
I'm proud of him though. I'm like, dude, just fill out the application.
Who knows what'll happen.
You think he would work at Wahlburgers?
No, things are going bad. I'm not fucking
hiring him there. Did you know the last two episodes
of Blue Bloods, they made him sit with the background actors?
I didn't know that.
No, I didn't. that no I didn't
he's like it's demoralizing
I said well at least
you used the word
demoralizing Donnie
alright well let's play
do lines with Mark
you wanna do a fucking line
yeah let's do a line
Mark's gonna say a line
from a movie
and the panelists
no one in the audience please
just the panelists
before I do this
I just wanna say
to everybody who's
been thanking me to my service for the country
that I've done,
you're welcome.
I'm so glad this is actually coming out
after Veterans Day.
I'd be sad if it was...
People thank me every fucking day. It's Veterans Day?
Thank me every fucking day.
It's Veterans Day?
Are you ready?
Yeah, yeah.
So he's going to say a lot.
Yeah, just yell it out into your microphone
as soon as you know.
The movie or the next line?
The movie, yeah.
I'm going to bench this fucking line.
What movie?
He's really good at it.
Classic motion picture.
Not necessarily a Mark Wahlberg movie.
Keep that in mind.
Look good, feel good.
Look good, feel good.
All right, here we go.
See, that wasn't from the movie.
It's always very confusing.
Good luck.
Hey.
Hey, do you want to know what the most annoying sound in the world is?
Dumb and Dumber.
Dumb and Dumber.
It is fucking Dumb and Dumber.
Ben got it. Ben got it.
Ben got it.
Can I do it?
But I want to hear the rest of it.
I want to hear the rest of it.
Because I want to hear you do this part.
Hey.
Do you want to know what the most annoying sound in the world is?
Sure.
You're playing both parts.
I'm diversional.
Here we go.
Do you want to know
what the most annoying sound in the world is?
Hey.
Mark,
can I borrow some money?
Mark Wahlberg,
everybody. Thank you, Mark.
Donnie, let's go.
That was for you, Arles.
Lie.
All right.
So, yeah, so you nailed it, Ben.
You get to go first in the Leonard Moulton game.
You remember this game from when you were on the show
at the Gramercy in New York City.
I think I do.
I think you did all right.
You're going to get to pick a category.
And then, Rachel, would you prefer we go to you next,
or would you rather get a little bit more time to acclimate
and we go to Joe after Ben?
I don't think it's going to matter, sadly.
All right, and we'll go right to you after Ben. I don't think it's going to matter, sadly. Alright,
we'll go right to you after Ben.
You'll go next. You know how
the game works? Yes, I'm familiar.
Alright, cool. That's all that matters.
Just have fun with it.
Don't worry about it.
Oh, did you hear the honking outside?
I think Donnie got impatient.
I think Donnie got impatient.
And Joe, your wife listens to this show, right?
She does, yes.
Is that true?
That is true, yes. Who listens to it?
What's that?
Who?
Who's my wife?
My wife!
That's so stupid.
That's a line out of That's a line out of
Goat Survivor 2
Beg us to choose a category
Between
At Minky the Cat
Suggested
Gonorrhea Girl
And that of course
Is films in which
A woman gets an STD
Of course
At Mike Spadafora
On Twitter Suggested Ethan Hawk Down And that's It's an STD. Of course. At Mike Spadafora on Twitter suggested Ethan Hawke down.
And that's films where Ethan Hawke dies.
And at Bemopolis suggested fuck, marry, kill.
What do you think that is, Ben?
It's from Bem, not Ben.
Someone named Mary gets fucked and then killed?
I wonder
how many movies that happens in.
But no, Fuck, Marry, Kill
is of course the films of O.J. Simpson.
Of course it is.
Oh, Jesus.
Is that the category?
What kind of game show has the contestants going,
Oh, Jesus.
A great game show.
Oh, yeah, it's so fun.
All right, wait.
Fuck Mary Kay, the films of O.J. Simpson.
O.J. Simpson movies.
What's the one before that?
Ethan Hawke dies in movies.
So it narrows it down.
It's not just Ethan Hawke movies.
There's ones where he dies.
Where he dies. And then movies
where a woman gets an STD.
Gets an STD.
Which is most films that are made. That's probably what's
happening behind the scenes.
All documentaries.
Yeah, right?
Those people are dirty. I choose a category and then I have
to answer the first question
or I defer or what?
It's basically you get to kind of guide which way this is going to go
because you'll have to go first. But I'm going to then read
a bunch of clues, tell you how many names
Leonard listed in the cast of the movie
and then how many names can you get
it in, then you bid, etc.
You know, you got this.
Fuck, marry, kill.
Alright.
Okay, okay.
Even though I can only think of one O.J. Simpson.
This O.J. Simpson sentiment is spreading like Ebola.
It's only involved two people so far.
Would you like a movie that O.J. Simpson is in?
Unfortunately, you know, O.J. Simpson hasn't done a lot of film roles of late.
So, from 1974 or 1978?
Fuck. Yeah, 1978? Fuck.
Yeah, right?
78.
Okay.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1978.
That's ridiculous.
He calls this movie a whirlwind contemporary adventure.
And he also says this movie is not always plausible, but who cares?
Leonard, like, just threw out his
criticism hat that day.
It's like, who cares?
Plausible? Why does it have to be that?
Movies can be so many things.
And he lists 10, 12, 12 names in the cast of this film.
So reading from the bottom of the list up,
how many names do you think you need
to discern the title of this film?
Ben Bailey, host of Cash Cab.
Former, former host of Cash Cab.
Right, and you also did it high a couple of times.
Yes.
That's my favorite thing about you.
Because I've done this show high every time.
And it's not easy.
It's not easy to host a game show.
And I don't have to drive these people anywhere.
I don't have to be like, oh shit, we're coming up on...
Yeah, that takes a little bit of the fun out of it.
Okay.
But nobody's in my ear, though.
Ryan, that's what we have to do.
We have to get a producer type in my ear
to tell me stuff as it goes along
so I can correct myself quicker.
All right, I'll look into it.
Who told you you could turn that mic on?
You guys want to do some lines?
Don't play that now.
Twelve names, Ben.
We got to go.
Six.
Ooh.
Oh.
Wow.
You just punched that guy
in the gut.
Over to six. That guy, ooh! He just got that guy in the gut. He covered his face.
That guy, he went, ooh!
He just got goosed.
He's still hiding.
Ooh.
I'm sorry, sir.
All right, Rachel.
He says he only needs six of the names
to figure out what this movie is.
That's just because I'm pretty much sure
I'm not going to fucking get it anyway.
Well, I love this approach
I'm sure Rachel
loves it even more
I mean I'm going to need
because you could bid less
so you could say
you could just tell them
name that movie
oh I can right now
right yeah right now
no you can't do that
no I'm going to though
because that sounds
like an amazing option
for me
there you go
name that movie
Rachel's a tough player
already
alright here's your six names just give me a second for me. There you go. Rachel's a tough player already.
Alright.
Here's your six names.
Just give me a second.
You can't look it up on your phone.
Use a Google shout out. Did anybody try to do
that on the show with their phone out?
We busted people Googling back there all the time.
Jesus. Stalling for
time. Wait, hold on. Hold on one second.
That's probably the least favorite thing cab drivers encounter
is when people are just crazily Googling in the backseat.
Oh, cab drivers.
Yeah.
Your six names are David Doyle, Robert Walden, David Huddleston.
I'm going through them fast because this is all perfunctory.
Denise Nicholas.
Brenda Vaccaro.
Remember her?
She had the...
Didn't she have like Tampax ads?
I'm Brenda Vaccaro.
You need to feel fresh.
It was crazy.
She had a lovely speaking voice like that?
Yeah, she was crazy.
And Telly Savalas.
Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, he's in
some films. This is one of them.
O.J. Simpson
is also involved in some capacity.
And there's six other people.
From 78, three stars.
You got a guess? Bill, the head of Telly Savalas.
Got any kind of guess at all? Including O.J. I've got a guess.
Okay, what's your guess?
The Towering Inferno.
That is a terrific guess.
That was the 1974 movie that had O.J. Simpson.
Son of a bitch!
This particular one proved what everybody knows,
that the moon landing was faked,
and it's called Capricorn One.
Wow.
Yeah, and Rachel's on the board with a point!
Who's dumb now?
Who's dumber now?
I feel like I did all the work for that point for you.
All right.
You did.
But I'm also excited to just erase this category because it's, I don't know, people still kind of go, ooh.
I thought we were all sort of over what OJ did.
I mean, I thought we all made up our minds about what he did,
but I guess we're still not completely good on it.
Let's start with Joe and then go to Kate.
And Joe gets to pick a category between
at henitals on Twitter.
It's like genitals, but with an H and two Ns.
Look them up, or her.
Suggested paper.
Category is paper.
What do you think that is, Joe?
I think it's something that takes place
at a paper mill.
All the great movies.
All the good ones.
No, newspaper movies.
No, paper is movies where Dwayne Johnson dies.
Because paper beats rock.
That's a creeper.
That's a creeper.
That's great.
I like it.
And then Sean Hart, H-A-R-T Music suggested,
there can be only one.
And that, of course, is movies that only have one word in the title.
And then this is a seasonal one coming up that no one picked,
so it's still in here.
Vespa 59 suggested Helloween.
Helloween.
And that's movies where there's a sudden shot of a penis.
I love the category of that name.
Yeah, where you're just suddenly like, Helloween!
Helloween! Which one of those would you like to play? It's a long category. I love the category that name is. Yeah, we were just suddenly like, Halloween! Halloween!
Which one of those
would you like to play?
Let's do one.
Let's do the category
one word titles.
Okay.
We'll save those funny ones.
I like it,
because we'll save those...
We'll save those funny ones
for another time.
We'll do this boring one now.
I like it.
I'll change it.
I'll switch it up. No, no, it's good. Don't you worry about it, J-Lo. All right. I love do this boring one now. I like it. I'll change it. I'll switch it up.
No, no, it's good.
Don't you worry about it, J-Lo.
All right.
I love it when you call me.
1996 is the year.
Yep.
This movie
has one word in the title,
as you know,
and he says it has
well-drawn characters,
suspenseful situations.
I'm already regretting this category.
Okay.
I think I've played this movie recently.
I've been forgetting to erase movies lately.
But you guys don't know what's going on,
so it's cool.
This is 1996.
The audience is like,
we did this one recently.
And it's got entertaining movie references. This is 1996. The audience is like, we did this one recently.
It's got entertaining movie references.
It's 1996.
And Leonard lists ten names.
How many names can you get it in, Joe?
I'm going to say
five names.
Oh, shoot.
It's Kate's brain.
What?
What?
I can't think.
I can't believe he done said five names, old boy.
I don't know if you guys remember, but Kate's brain makes appearances on the show, which
she does.
I wish I would have had all of them, which she does. I wish someone had
I wish someone
picked that penis category.
Wow, Kate's brain knows a lot about
penises. All I got in my head
is that dang too many cooks.
Oh boy, I'm going to have to say
four eventually, but...
Well, what does the actual Kate's mouth think about this?
You know, I was going to be...
I was going to say, name that movie,
but now I actually think I might...
You talked yourself out of it?
Yeah, I talked myself out of it.
Good job, us. I mean, I... myself out of it. Good job, us.
I have no idea.
I have no idea.
I have no clue.
But for some reason...
Wait, so if I say...
You say five names,
but these are not the stars.
These are the supporting characters.
Start at the bottom.
Go with your gut, me.
Is your brain in the bathroom right now?
Yeah.
Shoot.
Oh, wait.
I don't know if I could...
I'm going to say name that movie.
We win!
I think you do have
a good chance, Kate's brain.
Thank you, dude.
Five names
is a pretty
expensive name. Out of how many are listed
totally? Ten.
Oh, I take it back.
You're going to get it.
I wonder what Kate's brain
is thinking now.
I hate you, Joe.
I truly hate you.
I hate you goddamn guts.
Kate hides her feelings
so well, like she seems so happy right now saying those things to Joe. Kate hides her feelings so well,
like she seems so happy right now,
saying those things to Joe.
She hides it well.
Kick you with my zebra shoes.
Your five names are Linda Blair,
apologies to put your hands together,
Linda Blair, Liev Schreiber,
David Arquette,
Courtney Cox.
Correct.
Correct.
Joe Latrullio is on the board.
He's got one point. We're playing to two points.
Now we're going to start
once again
with you, Mr. Bailey. And then we're going to start once again with
you, Mr. Bailey.
And then we're going to come to you, Rachel.
O is right.
You're doing great, though.
Can I just point out... Just make him name it every time.
I just want to say, Scream
Capricorn
One.
Does that really seem fucking reasonable
to anyone in this room?
They're both movies, right?
Yeah
There you go
Touche
You picked the OJ Simpson category
That's true
Yeah
How could you have been
in a movie in the last
10 or 15 years?
There's only gonna be
like three or four of them
Do you make a documentary
about him?
Son of a bitch
Okay Alright, here we go No one had heard of anyone that you named until you got to Tally Savala I would think that Three or four of them. Did he make a documentary about him? Son of a bitch. Okay.
All right, here we go.
No one had heard of anyone that you named
until you got to tell each other.
I would think that a game show host
would be the first to sympathize with me
in that people like to argue about the...
No way, dude.
I'm just happy to be on this side now.
...the questions and the answers.
You get to pick.
Between.
Okay.
Please clear out one of these categories.
They've been around too long.
Premium Rush.
That's best picture winners of the Oscar
that are under 100 minutes long.
Happens on occasion, but it's rare.
Usually best picture winners are long-ass movies,
like Titanic or whatever.
Spoiler alert, and that's movies
where someone is run over by a car And
Finallally
IMDB
Because IMDB
Movies that are
The title is the initials DB
Like last time around
The answer was Das Boot
Be an example
which one of those do you like Ben?
what's the middle one?
spoiler alert someone gets run over by a car
Oscar
best picture Oscar winners
under 100 minutes
that category is narrowed down immediately
to there's only been
like 60 best picture winners
and then only a handful
of those are under 100 minutes.
Take your time though
by all means.
We're at a red light
right now so you can
Did you ever do a red light challenge where a hooker just run in
and blow somebody?
If you can come
before the light changes,
you'll win a trip
to Jamaica.
Yes.
Which one do you like?
DB.
Okay.
Rachel hates
every category you pick.
That's a difficult one.
1997 is the year for this movie movie the title is the initials DB
Leonard calls this movie fresh and original
he says it rings true
from start to finish
and it's based on a memoir
and he lists
12 names
12 names what 12 names.
What year was it?
1997.
Based on a memoir.
How many names, Ben?
Eight.
People who refuse to take all the names.
He says eight names, Rachel.
If you ask him to name it and he fails
you will be the winner
today and if you
and if he gets it then
he'll be on the board he'll just have one point
I love that Doug's telling me how to win
I talk everybody
through this because even Kate McHugh
who's been on a dozen times doesn't know how it works
exactly
I'm so glad who's been on it a dozen times doesn't know how it works exactly. Leave us alone, Doug!
I'm so glad.
Can you imagine if four guests and all of their brains
could all talk to me
how hard it would be to host this show?
Don't bet me!
Yeah, I kind of want to see you guess.
It has nothing to do with me winning, though.
You just want to watch me guess?
I do.
Yeah, name that movie.
All right, she's asked you to name it.
You get eight names out of 12.
So maybe something will...
You'll probably get it.
Yeah, based on a memoir.
You might recognize something in there.
Here we go.
Gretchen Maul.
Val Avery.
Brian Tarantina.
Yeah.
Zach Grenier.
Jerry Becker.
Jelko Ivanek.
Come on.
You don't know Jelko?
That guy's awesome.
Damages, I think, was one of the more recent things he's done.
Anne Heche.
Oh, I just didn't know how to say his name.
Yeah.
No, he's great.
Anne Heche.
James Russo.
And the late late great Bruno Kirby
that's
maybe too many names
I might have gave you one too many names
so you got a little bonus name
I wish it mattered
three more names that would really help you right now
just say a movie that's the initials DB and just see what happens.
If I could think of one, it would be that simple, wouldn't it?
I will buy another name for you.
I think you can do it.
You can't buy another name.
I'll give you $100 for another name.
Oh, I take it back.
You can buy another name.
head by another man.
Not a high ceiling at all.
Oh, no, but just cash on the barrel head? You got it? Or do I
have to have a credit card machine?
You have to have a square for your...
Yeah, got an attachment on my
phone to get this. To be honest, I'm thinking
of the Denglish Blatient.
That is not helpful.
Keith's brain is incorrigible.
So, no, you got
nothing? Just any
DB movie other than Denglish
Blatient.
Blatient.
Wait a second.
I'm an L.
He put the P.
All you have to do is take off the P and put it in a B.
You didn't have to add the L.
Drive-by.
Oh, that's your guess?
Drive-by?
Let's see if it changes things at all.
In fact, let's just leave this.
Everybody else is out.
As soon as you know it, Kate's brain,
tell us the answer.
Michael Madsen?
Johnny Depp?
Al Pacino?
Dangerous
liaison.
Donnie
I know it now.
Should have bought a name for me.
Of course the answer is Donnie Brasco.
Yeah that means Rachel's our winner.
She came in here
with zero confidence.
I'm not happy.
Absolutely killed it.
I can't believe
you think someone with an old
prospector brain
would
too few
opportunities.
Oh, the old Sam Levine
complaint.
You do get boxed out when there's four plays.
End of the show!
Well, you know, I dare to say that Kate's brain
maybe should come on sometime and play
and not let Kate get in the way like she did tonight
with changing her mind from her own brain.
No.
Kate's brain is busy.
A lot of other commitments.
Do you have any plugs, Kate's brain?
Tune in to Mad Men.
I will see you starting April 2015.
I'm a Big fan.
I've always wanted this show to have a John Hamio.
It's finally happened.
Joe, Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Sundays at 8.30.
Yes.
And beef on iTunes.
On Foxcatcher. On the 830. Yes. And beef on iTunes. On Foxcatcher.
On the Foxcatcher network.
Foxcatcher.
That's a sexy movie, right?
Foxcatcher.
No, it's not.
It's a disturbing movie.
Kate, what do you got going on?
This week, Ricky and I will be in Madison, Wisconsin, Cincinnati, Ohio, and Indianapolis.
So we'll be wearing our sweaters.
Yes. Be very Arctic Blasty up there So we'll be wearing our sweaters. Yes.
Very Arctic Blasty up there.
You'll have an Arctic Blast.
Garth Oakley notes,
Rachel Melvin is the star
of Dumb and Dumber 2
this Friday
in theaters.
Yeah.
I mean, that's...
It's pretty nice of you to go out and do promotion and stuff because in theaters. Yeah. I mean, that's...
It's pretty nice of you to go out and do
promotion and stuff
because I think
it's going to do okay.
And, right?
Who's not going to see that?
Raise your hand
if you're not going to see it.
That's what I was talking about.
There's a guy over there.
I like things that are smart.
That's why he's here.
Ben, Bailey, what's going on, man?
What brings you to L.A.?
I just came out to hang out a little bit, really.
Just do some stuff?
Do some spots around town?
Just wear a shirt like that?
Just strip down to just a T-shirt?
Can't do that right now anywhere else in the country.
Are you kidding me?
I came and played in a charity golf event.
Really?
Yeah.
When's that?
It was yesterday.
And how'd you do?
I played terribly, but I won the joke-telling contest at the end.
Were you the only comedian?
No.
No, every group had a comedian.
Oh.
The celebrity in every group was a comedian.
Which comedian's asses did you beat in that joke-telling competition?
All 24 of them.
Brag.
Tell us, who's the biggest one?
Probably Ray Ramone.
Yeah.
What joke did he tell?
What joke did he tell?
He told two.
It was like, everybody tells one, and then if you move on to the finals, there's three people left. Oh, I see. It was me, everybody tells one and then if you move on
to the finals,
there's three people left.
Oh, I see.
It was me and Ray
and Kevin Nealon.
And it was Kevin's tournament,
so he had to announce
that he came in third.
He was like,
in third place,
Kevin Nealon.
He's great.
He doesn't smoke weed,
by the way, so.
He doesn't really.
People,
quit asking me
to get him on Getting Doug with High. He doesn't smoke weed. People bug way. He doesn't really? People quit asking me to get him on Getting Doug with High.
He doesn't smoke weed.
People bug me about it all the time
because his character on Weeds
is a huge weed fiend,
but in real life, doesn't touch it.
Oh, wow, I didn't know that.
I know. Things you learn when you host a pop show.
But I did that,
and I'm doing spots around town
at the Laugh Factory, the Improv, and the store.
Right on, yeah.
And you're always on stage there in New York
when people are there,
and I'll try to get you back from one of my shows
that are coming up at the end of the month.
Yeah, yeah.
And thank you for being here.
Thank you to all my guests so much.
Wait.
Rachel, we don't need yours,
because you won on behalf of that person.
So whoever Rachel's playing for,
come get all your prizes.
Wow.
Haven't you won before?
Okay.
It's the guy who...
He made a good thing.
That hero thing is pretty cool.
Or not hero, Baymax.
What's your shithead inside that
envelope?
You can tell me. Because I don't
want you to play again next week.
So we need to know your shithead.
What is it?
You won't tell me. He's not going to do it.
Oh yeah, we can.
Let's just open it.
Dumb and
dumber. Yeah, you're not so dumb.
I mean, you didn't say it into a microphone.
We have the envelope.
Oh, here we go.
All right, you're right.
Just going to put that away right here.
But congratulations on winning,
and thank you to Jolo Trulio, I'm just going to put that away right here. But congratulations on winning.
And thank you to Jolo Trulio,
Kate Micucci,
Rachel Melvin,
and Ben Bailey.
Hashtag bring back cash cab.
There's rumors. Let's do that.
Let's start a campaign.
Hashtag bring back cash cab.
Okay.
I'm in.
There are rumors that they might want to do it again.
Do a new version where everybody hot boxes,
like you smoke weed in the cab every time,
and then answer questions.
We're going to do cash can.
It's in a public bathroom.
And you play for toilet paper.
How much can you make while you're taking a shit?
You play for dude wipes.
How many questions can you answer?
I love it.
Kate's brain is going to take that all.
All right.
Oh, wow.
This was a really long one.
Apologies again to Put Your Hands Together.
And we'll see you guys right here next week.
As always, Chef Boyardee is a shithead.
The Republican Senate is a shithead.
And any Floridian that didn't pot the vote is a shithead and any Floridian that didn't pot the vote
is a shithead